#of the franchise is spewing negativity about other pieces of it

[milfbrainrot]

on a practical level the g@il simone situation is just such a bad look professionally because do you really want the people who employ you to see you talking shit about decisions they've approved

[thebalancewentwrong]

Some Honest FnaF: Security Breach Thoughts (SPOILERS!)

I gotta be honest here, I’m kinda dissapointed in Security Breach.

No, not because of the glitches or bugs, or any other weird jank that’s come out of it, I just think as a whole It’s little ‘meh’ in terms of gameplay, scares and story.

Don’t get me wrong there are a few great moments here and there (The Daycare Attendant and DJ Music Man are my highlights) but overall it just felt kind of lacking.

When it comes to gameplay, nothing feels as fleshed out as it should, like take Freddy for instance. He’s supposed to be a core gameplay element that you are supposed to use regularly and rely on, but from what i’ve seen and hear, most people don’t.

Many see him as too much of a hinderance, he loses charge too quickly, he’s too slow, he can’t puch buttons or grab collectables, plus he just can’t be used in many moments of the game.

The animatronics are honestly pretty easy to avoid what with all the open space, so I guess their solution was to have them attracted to you by the security bots right? Cleaver solution except the security bots are EVERYWHERE and end up being far more annoying than scary or anything simply due to the sheer number of them.

Speaking of being scared, this honestly feels like the weakest game in the franchise for me on that front. Again with such wide open spaces and a multitude of ways to defend yourself like the laser gun and camera nothing feels quite a scary as ever before. Again DJMM and Sun/Moon are the rare exception but literally nothing else ever scared me aside from the odd, cheap jumpscare. Not even any unsettling themes are really present in this game which brings us to my final point, the story.

The story, in my opinion, Is the biggest let down of them all. I was so excited to see this ‘new era’ of Fnaf with Vanny as a new villain and perhaps a new mystery to solve! But that’s unfortunatley not how it really turned out. Firstly, the story if played through normally leaves waaay too many unanswered questions, and I’m not just talking about your usual ‘what’s really going on behind the seams here’ kind of questions, more questions like ‘soooo, are the animatronics actually evil and trying to kill me or are they actually just going to escort me home like they and Vanessa keep saying they will?’ and ‘Why do I suddenly know Vanny’s name even though at no point during this route do we ever find that out?’ and ‘why was I hiding in freddy of all places?’ and so on and so forth.

And then there is the actual story itself, that I’ve managed to piece together from what’s in the game and it’s endings. It turns out that all along Vanny was not the true villain, it was Glitchtrap! well duh, we already knew that but actually it’s not just Glitchtrap but William Afton is STILL ALIVE!!!!..............AGAIN!!!!..... -_-

Look, William Afton’s story was great, it was really interesting to learn what happened to him back in fnaf 3 but he has now survived through being springlocked, locked in a room for like 30 years or something and no less than 2 FIRES! So ok, he can’t be killed. Great. ‘I always come back’ ok fine. Then what’s the point? What is the point of once again defeating him in this game, when he’s probably just going to come back YET AGAIN later down the line. God even all the old animatronics are now back in ‘The Blob’ even THEY can’t get a rest. They and we are forced to do this song and dance over and over forever. Vanny, in most endings of the game is either killed or cured, so she’s out of the picture now I guess. Great. Why bother having a new villain when you can recycle the old one endlessly amirite guys????

To me the whole game in terms of story felt... kinda pointless.. like this game is just a small blip on the massive and confusing timeline. nothing really changes throughout this game, nothing is really added, no new interesting concepts, just good ol’ reliable, William Afton again.

Anyway, sorry if this post was overly negative I just wanted to spew out some thoughts I had rattling about in my head, as I just spent the majority of the week catching up on fnaf lore and theories to build up to this game only for it to fall kinda flat.

In all honesty, I don’t hate this game or anything It’s just kinda dissapointing.

I’m hopeful there might be more secrets and lore that I don’t know about that might make me change my tune, but for now, yeah.

[slasherholic]

Essay: On Michael Myers and Muteness

A little foreword: This essay is in response to a sentiment I’ve noticed circling in the slasher community for some time. While nobody, to my knowledge, has been outright accused or attacked about this, I do find it concerning how eager some are to spew hate when confronted with people who don’t share their specific ideas of how a fictional character should be viewed—especially when those ideas have very little ground to stand on.

This essay will cover common sources of psychological mutism, and examine how they apply (or don’t apply!) to Michael’s character, to determine the most likely cause for his mutism.

Disclaimer: I have no formal education in the field of psychology. All information presented is taken from case studies and the dsm-5.

Let’s begin with some definitions to clear up a few misconceptions.

Selective Mutism.

Selective mutism is defined as the consistent failure to speak in specific social situations in which there is an expectation for speech, despite speaking in other situations. (DSM-5, pg. 195) 

Selective mutism can be diagnosed only when a child has an established capacity to speak in some social situations (e.g., typically at home). Selective mutism is not the consequence of trauma, neglect or abuse—it is strictly an anxiety disorder.

Progressive Mutism.

Selective mutism may develop into progressive mutism. (Note—progressive mutism does not appear to be mentioned in the DSM-5, but it did show up multiple times while I was researching selective mutism. Take the following with a grain of salt.) Progressive mutism is when a child becomes mute in all settings, with all people, even at home. It occurs due to heightened stress within their environment, or by way of negative reinforcement—for example, if an adult tries to help the child out by “speaking for them” during an episode of mutism.

Traumatic mutism.

Traumatic mutism is sudden mutism following a traumatic event (e.g., the death of a loved one).

Note: There are a great many other causes of mutism resulting from psychological factors, ranging from autistic spectrum disorder, to dissociative disorders, to schizophrenia—but considering how we don’t know enough about Michael’s backstory to say whether he is affected by any of that, I’ll be staying away from explanations requiring heavy speculation.

Alright! We have our definitions. Now, let’s see if any of these would apply to Michael’s case.

(Of course, the only interpretation of the character where his muteness even needs an explanation is the “Michael has a mental illness” take—which, again, is just one possible way of many to view him. The mindset that Michael must be unwillingly mute excludes the most canon-compliant take on the character—that he is just evil. Obviously, a Michael who is “just evil” chooses not to communicate with others because he doesn’t fucking care.)

Option one:

Michael is selectively mute. He suffers from an anxiety disorder. He is physically unable to speak under certain circumstances, but, by definition, he is able to speak under other, more comfortable circumstances.

Why it isn’t likely: There is no evidence in canon to suggest that Michael suffers from an anxiety disorder. Zero. You simply won’t find it. If you want to label Michael as ‘selectively mute”, by all means, do so—everybody has the right to their headcanons! But please, understand what you are saying by using that label; that Michael does not suffer from total mutism. There are situations where he can speak, and there are situations where he cannot.

Option two:

Michael is selectively mute, and his muteness has advanced into progressive mutism. 

Why it isn’t likely: Again, for this type of mutism to occur, Michael must have first had selective mutism. We are not told enough of Michael’s background to speculate about whether he suffers from any sort of anxiety disorder, and I doubt we ever will be. While this explanation for Michael’s mutism is technically possible, to treat it as immutable fact would be nothing short of dishonest.

Option three:

Michael is totally mute as a result of trauma. Whether from the shock of murdering his sister, or being suddenly separated from his family, some traumatic event triggered an episode of mutism that Michael never recovered from. He is now permanently mute.

Why it isn’t likely: Let’s get one thing straight—this view of mutism is a Hollywood bastardization.

The trope in which a character is rendered permanently mute due to trauma/psychological factors may be popular in movies and television, but in real medical cases, this idea holds little merit.

“While cases of mutism have occurred as a result of a child being abused or emotionally or physically traumatized, it seems to be very rare. I have not yet seen such a case, where a child spoke normally until a traumatic incident and then stopped speaking.” (https://www.selectivemutismfoundation.org/knowledge-center/common-myths)

“While it is possible for a child to become mute after a traumatic experience, usually the child avoids talking about aspects of the trauma itself, rather than becoming completely silent.” (https://childmind.org/guide/teachers-guide-to-selective-mutism/what-is-not-sm/)

Of course, this is not to say that trauma-based mutism does not exist. It is a documented occurrence, and it inarguably does.

However; to insist that Michael must have been rendered completely, irreversibly mute due to childhood trauma, and that his mutism persisted for the next 55 years, (2018 Michael is 61,) is not a medically feasible claim. This trope works fine in a fictional setting, but please, acknowledge that this attitude is more rooted in fiction than fact. I scoured case-studies on psychological mutism for hours, and was unable to find a single occurrence of something comparable happening. It is statistically more likely that a person who is mute for this long is making a conscious effort not to communicate. Which brings us to the final explanation:

Option four:

Michael can speak, but willfully chooses not to.

It should not come as a surprise that this is the only explanation for Michael’s mutism that can be sourced by canon material. Dr. Sartain, whose entire job it was to observe Michael’s behaviors, concluded that his patient was indeed capable of speech, and that his mutism was self-imposed. In all brutal honesty, the mental gymnastics required to get around this statement is pretty damn ridiculous; and to knock others for not performing the same mental gymnastics is even more ridiculous. 

This explanation is further evidenced by the 1978 novelization of Halloween. (Which, I don’t personally view as canon, but I know of some who do, so it is worth mentioning.) In the novel, Michael continues to speak normally up to a year after his institutionalization. There is no mention of a traumatic event at the sanitarium that might have triggered his muteness; the closest we get is the near-death of a girl at a Halloween party, but it is very heavily implied that Michael was responsible for that incident—and all because the girl beat him at musical chairs.

Simply due to the evidence we have, this option is the most likely explanation for Michael’s mutism. (For those interested, I go more in-depth about this interpretation of his mutism in this essay.)

But! All of this speculation is ignoring the fact that Michael Myers is a fictional character. His behaviors cannot be studied in a medical setting, by a medical professional—meaning that he cannot be diagnosed with psychological mutism in the first place. If you are one of the individuals trying to claim that Michael is undeniably afflicted with any of these forms of mutism, or any other mental illness, etc. You are wrong. That is not how psychiatric diagnosis works. The absolute best we can do is speculate.

So here it is, plain and simple:

If you hold the belief that Michael Myers must be fully, 100% incapable of speech due to psychological factors, and insist that your viewpoint is the only valid one, not only are you ignoring the ambiguity of this 40-year-old franchise, not only are you ignoring the massive potential for individual interpretation, but you are also fundamentally wrong. You are perpetuating false, or highly simplified information about psychological mutism, and you are trying to apply that false information in an ambiguous fictional setting. Please get off your high horse.

The takeaway: Michael’s mutism has many possible explanations.

Due to the fact that his background is not extensive enough to supply us with a set-in-stone answer, it is irresponsible to insist that any explanation is “the right one”.

So headcanon Michael as mute. Headcanon him as fully capable of speech. Headcanon him anywhere in between. I can’t believe this needs to be said, but you have the right to enjoy this ambiguous piece of fiction however you want—and nobody can tell you that you are wrong for doing so.

Thanks for reading.

[ducktales-wco-oo]

{ My inner Ponyhead is just: OooooooOOOOOh teellllll: } 😡  

- ✩ { @bitofthisandthat​​ } ✩

✩ { Meme​ } ✩

(And my inner bish is Ready to spill some tea XD I dunno if it’s Ice Tea or Scalding, but it’s being poured anyway? lol Okey-doke, the first thing that comes to mind is just... Not Giving A Fuck. :’3 *claps hands* Allow me to elaborate~ Doesn’t matter if it’s Tunglr.Hell, other social media, in person, etc... I’m ALWAYS overhearing about Fandom Drama. Be it ship wars, fanart discourse, nitpicking flaws or bringing to light decent issues in something, ‘ruining’ a character or franchise or just- D R A M A. I’ve also heard about people who’ve had fandoms or characters ruined for them because of all the negativity that surrounds it or how Toxic™ and/or Cringey™ the fandom can be. Which on some level, I can understand...)

(BUT, on a more personal level... I am VERY good at not giving a single fuckeroonie about stuff like that. If people want to be jerks, why should I care? You do you, boo. That’s not gonna stop me from liking what I like; be it ship, character, a piece of media... If I’m into something, it’s because I LIKE IT. That’s what matters. Come at me about it all you want, I’m just gonna love it even harder. One: Because I enjoyed it anyway, and Two: SPITE BISH. PFffff... Yes, some fandoms have a bad rep. But I don’t let that stop me from indulging in the media, scrolling through tags, posting my shit, etc... If people let Assholes scare them away from something or suck the joy from it, all it accomplishes is negatively affecting them.)

(Frankly, I think it’s this mentality that keeps me in the dark about a lot of shit that goes down in the fandoms I’m in. Because I Do Not Care. I often hear about bad things happening, but... I never really see it? Honestly, that happens a lot irl too. People will complain and get all huffy about things that ‘always happen’, but I’ve yet to experience any of it so far. Which may be because my Field of Fucks is so barren, none of the seeds of negativity people are scattering around can take root. XD Long story short: Like what you like, and if someone gives you grief about it or people are spewing hate all the time about it- Fuck ‘em. :3 )

[taibu]

Genyatta - KARAOKE MAYHEM 2.0 (Genyatta Week 2018 - Day 1)

Well! Here we are! Let’s hope I’m doing this right haha! Super long and really badly written, sorry. But my arm was literally falling off near the end so I needed to finish it fast! Enjoy!

WARNING: VERY fluffy. Like. Holy fuck. Obviously gay shit. OOC mostly because I'm still new to the franchise haha. Also headcanons. Loooads of them. Mostly for Zenyatta tho.

Other things to note: Most characters not seen in this fic are either working for the Talon or haven't joined Overwatch yet, or in some cases are just away atm. Mostly because I can't be fucked to add them ALL in the fic, there is like, gazillion of them, Jesus. I'm already pulling my hair with the amount I have uuuugh Iris embrace me...

Oh! Here’s also a Youtube-playlist to all the songs used in this fic! Listen to it for effect! 

OVERWATCH - KARAOKE MAYHEM 2.0

"Seriously?" Genji asked, lowering the paper Hana had just handed him. "Yup!" Tracer chirped, jumping a bit. "I thought it would be fun to do something for the coming New Year and what better way than to revive the good old Karaoke Mayhem!" Genji let out a groan and threw his head back over-dramatically. Zenyatta, gently floating next to him, chuckled warmly as he took the paper handed to him. It was an invitation to the party Tracer had named Karaoke Mayhem back in the good old days of Overwatch. It had been when Genji was in Blackwatch, still young and hateful towards life, vengeful against his brother, lost and lonely. Back then he had stayed in the party just for the free drinks and snack, but as McCree had started singing Cotton Eye Joe he had locked himself in his room to brood. And McCree had been the THIRD to sing. But now things were different. Genji had found piece, he was full of life, and his relationship with his brother was getting better by the day now that Hanzo too worked to Overwatch. He mostly showed negative emotions for humoristic effect. But part of him still begged him to only go for the free food and NOT to sing anything. "It's a completely free-for-all experience!" Lúcio said. "I know there are some who will refuse to sing at all, but the invitation is always open and we have the whole night to use! So if you change your mind about wanting to participate of the stage, just hit me up and I'll find the songs ya need!" "The earlier you make your choice, the better, but no pressure!" Hana giggled. The tree said hasty byes to the two omnics as they still needed to give the invitations to many other members and to plaster the posters reminding everyone of the party in every free space on the walls. "Last time I wasn't able to enjoy any of it, mostly due my own discomfort with myself..." Genji said as he looked at the invitation, printed on bright pink paper, probably designed by D.Va. "What was the other reason then?" Zenyatta asked, folding his own invitation neatly and putting it in his pocket. "McCree's singing." Genji said with a smirk that was hidden by his mask, but Zenyatta laughed warmly which made Genji's heart flutter. "Well hopefully you'll stay long enough for my performance!" the monk said calmly, with a hint of excitement in his voice. "Whoa! You're going to sing, master?" Genji asked, positively surprised. He had known Zenyatta would participate, mostly to spent time with the team, but to actually go on the stage and sing? That made Genji's mind go all wild. He had never heard Zenyatta sing, and they had been spending a LOT of time together since they first met, and more now that they were with Overwatch. They trained together, their rooms were next to each other, they meditated every day for hours, Zenyatta would join the team in the cafeteria despite not needing to eat himself... yet not once had Genji heard his master more than hum occasionally when tending his plants or when cleaning. The thought of Zenyatta's warm and calm voice bursting into a full on song made Genji's legs shake. "Why yes! I am planning to. Just one song though. I'm quite rusty after not doing it for a while, but it will feel good to use my voice for it's original purpose after such a long time..." Zenyatta said, holding his hands together on his chest, clearly exited, despite his voice being so calm. "It's original purpose?" Genji asked. Zenyatta had mentioned that he was originally made into a worker for a restaurant, thus his calm and collected composure and lean and sleek build. He, and his late brother, had been replaced with the newer models soon tho and were abandoned, thus giving them all their time to experience tranquility. But where would Zenyatta need a good voice for if he was just a waiter? As if he was reading Genji's thoughts, Zenyatta answered: "Serving wasn't the only job I had in the good old joint... I also had to provide our guests with entertainment on occasion." "So you used to sing to them?" Genji asked, sitting in a lotus-position on the ground in front of his master to show that he was interested enough to sit and wait for the omnic to finish the story. Zenyatta floated slowly down until his body touched the ground. "Indeed. There was a stage in the restaurant where me and my brother often gave our best performances to our visitors. Many found it quite enjoyable. I had few admirers too!" Zenyatta let out a chuckle. "A young girl with short blonde hair once even asked for my autograph! I didn't have a name back then, so I just gave her a serial-number." Genji laughed, it seemed he wasn't the only fan his master had. "Did you enjoy it? Performing, that is?" he asked. Zenyatta let out what could have been seen as a happy sigh if he was a human. "Yes. Very much. Part of me misses it..." "Though not everyone found it that amazing. Some just didn't like omnics, but many also said that we were just build to spout songs out of our systems. That is not true though. Just like with humans, you need more than a good voice to sing! You also need to understand rhythm, leveling your voice, pitch... It takes some time to learn. Luckily I had all the time to learn in the kitchen while washing the dishes for the evening. My then boss heard me, and actually complimented me! Next week he pulled me off my own duty to cover for a singer who's voice-box had overheated suddenly. After that, I sang every once in a while to our guests." Zenyatta let out another sigh. "I... kinda miss those days." He lifted his hands in his lap, staring at them. "The late nights of me alone in the kitchen cleaning and singing to myself. My somber and dramatic performances. The "Happy Birthdays" I would sing to the children. The performances I would pull off with my dear Brother to make our guests laugh... I wish you could have heard him, Genji. Mondatta's voice was truly something else. If his speeches gathered crowds, his singing would have brought the world together in an instant!" Genji wanted to take Zenyatta's hand in his own. The omnic very rarely spoke of his late brother, especially like this. Last time the conversation had turned to Zenyatta overheating and hiccuping, only to excuse himself and lock himself in his room. Genji didn't know if Omnics could cry, but he was sure that was what Zenyatta had been doing for the following hours. Loosing Mondatta had been a huge blow to him. And Genji understood him perfectly. When his mother and father had died he had felt the same. Instead Genji decided to hold his hand on his master's shoulder instead. "I'm sure I would have enjoyed his performance greatly." he assured his master. Zenyatta lifted his head a bit, and even if he was physically unable to, Genji was sure the omnic was smiling to him. "What about you, my student? Will I find you on the stage as well?" he asked then, clearly ready to not think about his only family-member he had lost so painfully. Genji was taken back by the question. "Ah, I don't know... I've been in karaokes before, in my youth, but Hanzo said I sound like a dying whale when I sing..." Zenyatta laughed warmly. "That would be spirit-lifting!" "I suppose. And embarrassing." Genji sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "But... If I got few laughs out of people, it would be worth it!" Genji meant to say "few laughs out of YOU" but changed it last second, not wanting to seem too forward to his master. "I'm glad you think of everyone else before yourself, Genji!" Zenyatta chimed. "It only proves your progress. I'm proud of you, Sparrow" Genji felt butterflies in his stomach as he heard those words. Zenyatta had told him he was proud of Genji before, but every time was more magical than the last. Genji was glad he had his visor on, otherwise Zenyatta would have seen the deep red shade his face took on these words. He simply bowed a bit and muttered a hasty "thank you master". --- Rest of the day Genji walked around base and thought about his master. His sensual voice bending into rhythm of the music and finding the perfect pitch for every word. But no matter how hard he tried he could not imagine it. He had to hear it. And he would, in few days. But the wait felt abysmal... "Yo! Genji!" Cyborg turned to see Lúcio skate to him, carrying something that seemed like musical equipment. "Yo!" Genji said waving his hand. They would have done a high-five but Lúcio's hands were too full for that. "You seem busy with the preparations." ninja said as he started walking alongside his friend. "Yup! I've been keeping track of everyone's music-requests, putting up lights, preparing the back-drops... Now I'm little worried we won't get everything done before the big day!" Lúcio huffed. "If there is anything I can do, please ask!" Genji said. He needed something to do anyway, he might as well help his friend in need. Genji found that working with Lúcio, Lena and Hana was more play than work. Everything was a race with Hana, Lúcio would spew out jokes and give them appropriate music to work for and Lena just had that halo of happiness that shone wherever she went. Genji let out a content sigh. He was happy for friends like these. He felt bad for acting the way he did in the past, and would work his way to be better person for everyone! But he would not be this way without his master... At one point Genji saw his master talking with Lúcio. He thought about going and saying hi, but saw that their matter seemed personal, and concerted on his work, or at least tried to. Twenty minutes later Lúcio returned to the others, reading trough the notes he had taken when talking to Zenyatta. "Your master sure knows what he wants from his show!" Lúcio said, flipping the book close and stuffing it in his pocket. "I hope he isn't too demanding?" Genji said, laying down a box filled with old microphones. "Not at all! I actually prefer people who know exactly what they want and need. It helps preparations a big time!" the ebony man said, smiling. The four then started testing the mics. They needed multiple, some for people who wanted to sing together, some in case some would break during the mayhem itself. They got seven working mics and threw the rest in Lúcio's room for spare-parts. "So what about you, ninja-boy?" Lúcio asked once they were walking back to the stage. "Are ya gonna sing?" Genji chuckled. "I've never had such a good voice... Ask Hanzo." "Dude, he's your brother! Of course he would think you sound like a stuffed elephant! Maybe you're just little... rusty." Lúcio snickered, gently elbowing Genji's arm. Genji let out a wholehearted laugh. Just few years before, he would have strangled Lúcio for making fun of his looks, but Genji was okay with his new body now. He knew Lúcio didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable, and if he ever did, he would be sure to apologize in a heartbeat. Zenyatta had told Genji that in order to learn how to truly laugh, you first needed to learn to laugh at yourself. "Maybe so. Want to help me wash it off?" the cyborg asked. "Sure man! And if you're more comfortable with your local songs, just ask and I'll find them for ya!" "Sounds like a plan!" --- Last few days Genji helped his friends to put up the stage, and they got it done just in time. In between preparations, Lúcio would give Genji some voice-training. He helped Genji to find a good pitch for his voice, follow the rhythm and even some sick dance-moves. Hana and Lena were an excellent audience, giving cheers as he did something right, and laughing wholeheartedly when he missed a mark or made a funny noise, most just to make the girls laugh. Lúcio was a great teacher. Patient and filled with optimism. It filled Genji with a feeling he could only describe as friendship. Genji would think of his old "friends" he had in school. Most were jerks that only wanted to hang out with a rich kid. Rest were ass-kissers and air-headed cheerleaders Genji kept around for looks. He had never had this much fun with other people, not even his own brother when they were kids. And it made him feel safe and content. "You're making good progress, bro!" Lúcio chimed happily. "Tho in my opinion you still need some practice to be perfect. Unfortunately we don't have time to perfect your act before the big moment, but I know you'll do great none the less!" "All thanks to you, man!" Genji said, lifting his hand and Lúcio high-fiving him gladly. He then looked behind Genji and chimed a quick hello to someone, running past the cyborg. Genji turned around to see that Zenyatta had entered the room, carrying a box of some kind. He whispered few words to Lúcio, who smiled and nodded, taking the box. Zenyatta waved a quick goodbye to Genji and the girls and left as swiftly as he had entered. "So when you gonna tell 'im, luv?" Tracer asked suddenly. "Hmh?" Genji hummed, barely turning his head. "You know. That you like him?" D.Va added, smirking. "Who?" Genji asked, confused. "Zenyatta!" both girls and Lúcio who had walked to them shouted. "WHAT!?" Genji felt his voice glitch with surprise. "How do you- I mean when- I mean-" "Genji. Buddy. Everyone knows." Lúcio said, holding the box on one hand and landing other on the cyborg's shoulder. "Everyone expect Zenny apparently." Hana giggled. "How... long have you..?" Genji stuttered. "Ever since you almost took a bullet for 'im on a mission." Lena said. "Ever since you gave him, "The look" to him on the dinner on my first week here." Hana said. "Ever since ya put so much effort into your new move just to make 'im proud." Lúcio said. Genji let out some steam from his seams. "Tho-those could all be seen as platonic things, you know!?" "The fact you said "could" kinda sealed the deal, luv." Tracer said, landing her hand on Genji's arm. Genji groaned and slumped on the near by sofa. Lúcio took the box under his desk and joined him and the girls on the sofa soon after. "So. When?" Hana continued where they started. "Never. He's too good for me." Genji said matter of factually. "What!? Luv! You're perfect for 'im!" Lena gasped. "He is calm, collected, sweet, you're loyal, brave and strong! You complete each other!" "Lena's right, dude. Besides, I'm sure he likes you just as much!" Lúcio said. "Really?" Genji asked, trying to keep another puff of steam in, failing. "Well I mean... I can't really read 'im, no face and all that, but he talks about ya a lot!" he answered. "True! Every time I talk to him he says how proud he is of you!" Hana chimed in. "Yup! Even when the conversation has NOTHIN' to do with you!" Lena laughed. Genji let out another puff of steam to hold himself from overheating. Zenyatta... really liked him back? He could scream. Indeed, he might actually just do that! "Who talks about who?" Hanzo's voice chimed in just when Genji was about to let out a glitched scream of excitement. "Zenny about Genji." Hana answered. "Ah, that. Yeah, he does. A lot." Hanzo sighed, rolling his eyes. Even Hanzo confirmed it! Genji no longer felt like screaming, he felt like crying. With happiness. "What, we talkin' 'bout Zenny and Genji-boy?" McCree asked walking in. Where did all of these people keep coming in!? "Yup." Hanzo simply said. McCree laughed hard. "It is a surprise ya'll aren't all over each other yet! He totally has a thing for you, partner!" Now Genji didn't know what to feel. Happiness, embarrassment, annoyance, glee... It all manifested with a steady stream of steam that finally escaped his vents and a deep sigh. "So... not planning on telling him?" Lúcio asked, landing his hand on the cooling shoulder of the cyborg. "I don't know anymore... I just... want him to be happy. I want to make him laugh. I want to... make sure he lives every day of his life in bliss..." Genji sighed. Thinking about Zenyatta and his warm voice, his cute laugh and sweet embrace made Genji momentary forget where he was, but luckily for him, he was surrounded by friends and family who were happy for him. "By the dragons, you ARE in love!" Hanzo exhaled with clear surprise in his voice, but soon smiled and put his little brother in a arm-lock. "And here I thought I'd never see the day you settle down!" Hanzo laughed, ruffling his brother's hair gently. Genji was surprised of his brother's sudden showing of love, but took it gladly. "I think you should tell 'im, luv. I'm sure he would like it a lot." Tracer giggled, glad to see the two brothers so close all of the sudden. "I know. But... I'm not sure how yet..." Genji said as Hanzo finally let him go. "You could do it in the Karaoke Mayhem! With a help of a song!" Hana nearly squeaked. "Oh God no!" Hanzo yelled, over-dramatically. "Zenyatta's audio receptors will burst!" "Hey man! Genji's gotten better with his voice by the day! He may not be perfect, but at least Zen won't need to be repaired right after!" Lúcio chimed in, putting his hands around Genji's shoulders proud of his work. "Still, I think a song would be bit... over-dramatic..." Hanzo said more seriously. "No it would not! It would be romantic!" Hana giggled, stars in her eyes. "I would love if someone I liked sang to me!" "You're a romantic tho." McCree said. "Zenyatta is more... down to earth. I'm sure just stating yer feelings will be enough to 'im!" "You blokes are boring!" Lena scoffed. "But Genji, it's your call. Sing to him or don't, that's your choice to make, luv." Genji thought about it a long while. Finally he laughed a bit. "I'll tell him of my feelings, but not with a song. I... want to think about this trough with more time. I want it to be perfect. For now, I only want to make him laugh and enjoy himself." cyborg finally said. He looked at Lúcio with a smirk under his visor. "I know what song I'm going to sing at the party. Will you help me with the backdrops?" "Ya don't even need to ask, my dude." Lúcio said, smiling widely. --- The evening begun with a low techno-tones booming from the speakers as people started gathering in one by one. Lúcio visited each, welcoming them and asking one last additions to their performances, possible song-changes etc. Tracer flashed around making sure everyone had enough drinks and snacks, and D.Va paced around both exited and nervous of her performances. She had taken two songs, one at the very beginning, one near the end. Genji's turn was around the middle, just before Hanzo, and the two brothers, sharing table with McCree, tried to guess each other's songs. Genji was glad none of their guesses were right. When it came time to guess McCree's song, both brothers simply looked at each other knowingly. McCree laughed and tried to convince them that Cotton Eye Joe was not his choice for the first song this time, and although Hanzo let out a sigh of relief, Genji knew Jesse better than that. When Zenyatta arrived, Genji waved to him and invited him to sit with them. Zenyatta complied happily floating in the chair next to Genji. "It's good to see you in such good spirits tonight my student." the omnic said happily, talking bit louder than usual to make his voice audible over the rumble of the techno. "I can't help it! We've made such an effort for this to be as perfect as we can, the least we can do is to enjoy it ourselves!" Genji laughed, and was delighted to hear Zenyatta join him. "I suppose you're right. Although I must confess I feel bit jealous of you friends who got to spend so much time with you during these few days." the omnic then said. Genji felt flustered. Zenyatta was... jealous? For him? He then realized that during the last three days he had been spending less and less time with his master, in helping his friends and the singing lessons from Lúcio. He barely had time for their daily meditation. "I'm sorry I've left you alone like that, master. I never realized our time together meant so much to you..." Genji said, leaning closer that Hanzo and McCree, engaged in a heated debate over which was better; sake or beer, would not hear them. "Don't apologize, my sparrow." Omnic said, clearly smiling despite the lack of mouth. "It has been a bliss to watch you interact with your friends. I'm glad that you share your friendship with other people as well and not just you old boring master." Genji blushed. He wanted to tell his master that he would always have time for the omnic, that spending time with him was such a bliss he would never trade it to anything else, that his master was the only one he let see his most hidden things of his personality... but he took a silent breath and simply replied: "You are far from boring, or old, master. You're ten years YOUNGER than me." Zenyatta laughed again, but before he could answer, they were interrupted by Lúcio stepping on the stage with a mic. "Thank you all so much for comin' to the Karaoke Mayhem 2.0!" he chimed, followed by a wave of applause. "The list of the performances is on the wall over there" he pointed at the wall near the tables "so feel free to get yourself ready for your own while you wait. For now, let's stop talking and start singing!" Applause again. Before they died off, Lúcio, deepening his voice a bit, mumbled in the mic: "Ladies and gentlemen... It's Mambo N. 5!" Cheers followed as a familiar song started to play off the speakers. Lúcio sang with his great voice, making dance-moves that would have seen impossible for any other person. As the chorus came, they soon noticed he had changed the lyrics a tad bit... "A little bit of Angela in my life A little bit of Mei by my side A little bit of Lena is all I need A little bit of D.Va is what I see A little bit of Zarya in the sun A little bit of Ana all night long A little bit of Fareeha here I am A little bit of you makes me your man" Everyone cheered and laughed, all the girls in the base having a different reactions to their names coming up in the song. Mercy blushed, Mei even harder, Tracer laughed and gave a thumbs-up, Hana, who was recording the performance with her phone simply smiled, Zarya gave a cheeky smile and took a sip of her drink, Ana gave the man a toast, Pharah covered her face embarrassed. There was a huge roar of cheers and applause as Lúcio finished, bowing. Hana was next. Much more braver than before, she jumped on the stage and a jumpy K-pop-song started booming from the speakers. Hana's high-pitched voice started singing in Korea some song Genji had never heard but enjoyed none the less. Next up was Tracer. She flashed on the stage and laughed. Soon the familiar beat of "Wannabe" started playing and everyone cheered again. Lena would flash back and forth in time, singing the whole song by herself, using different pitches for each spice, sometimes Genji would swear he saw more than one Tracer on the stage at once, but cheered for her like everyone else did. Next up was Fareeha who sang her version of Cher's Believe. Her performance was not as jumpy as the three others, but it was a nice change of pace after so many exiting songs. McCree was next, and Genji was little surprised that he was singing Country Road instead of Cotton Eye Joe. But everyone seemed slightly disappointed when he didn't. Not that they said it out loud. Reinhardt was next and he sang an old German ballad, tearing up at the end so much he could hardly breath anymore. Genji could feel the old-timely nostalgia the crusader must have felt when singing and found himself misty eyed as well. He clapped to Reinhardt louder than the others so far. Winston was next, and sang Man on the Moon. Knowing Winston's past with the said space-rock, it gave his song a nice twist of irony. Tracer had her second turn after that, singing MMMBop, now much more calm performance, jumpy and happy yes, but without flashes between time and space. Genji was little shocked to see his name pop up next on the big screen. He got up, embraced the cheers and applause he received, and jumped on the stage, taking the mic from Tracer who winked at him. She must have heard from Lúcio what he was about to sing. He nodded at the ebony man, who turned his music on, and the lights off. When the ambient chimed in, some "woo"-ed a little, recognizing the classic instantly. It wasn't until the electric voice on the background first sang "Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto" did Hanzo groan so loud it almost drowned the music. Genji smiled under his mask, and started the song. Thankfully the song didn't require amazing voice or perfect pitch, so he went overboard and acted out and dramatically on the stage, making everyone laugh. Except Hanzo who had hidden his face in his hands in shame for his blood-relative. With those cheers and laughs Genji heard his master's voice. The omnic would have dropped from his chair if he wasn't floating. That made Genji so happy he finished the song with as grace he had left, replacing the ending's "I'm Killroy"s with "I'm Genji!"s. Everyone cheered and clapped, Zenyatta even getting on his feel and standing to applause him. Genji was beaming under his visor. He had made his master laugh. His night could not get any better than this... "That was delightful, Genji!" Zenyatta said as Genji sat back on his spot between him and Hanzo, who still was hiding his face. "I didn't think you'd do it, but darn it boy, you did!" McCree chimed in. "I have no brother." Hanzo muttered getting up and making his way to the stage. Hanzo's song was much more serious than his brothers at least. Genji didn't remember the name of the song, but he recognized it as the same their father had often sang while driving, cooking or having a drink with friends. Tho Hanzo sounded much like their father (let alone LOOKED like him), Hanzo's tone was much more serious, somber, sad almost. Genji didn't even notice the tears that made their way down his face until Hanzo finally finished to the sound of loud applause. "At least one of us has some dignity left." he then said, sitting down on his place and taking his drink. Genji laughed a bit, noticing his voice cracking a bit. Hanzo noticed this and watched as his brother took of his visor to clean off the tears. "It's the song father used to sing, wasn't it?" Genji asked, still cleaning his face, Zenyatta handing him a tissue, wherever he pulled it from. Hanzo hummed and nodded. The elder brother smiled just a bit as he wrapped his arm around his younger brother's shoulder. "Didn't mean to make you cry tho." he said, almost as an apology as Mei began Donna Summer's Power of One with her meek and quiet voice. "You didn't. I got dust in my eyes." Genji lied, knowing he would not be believed. Hanzo laughed just a bit, holding his brother closer. Genji smiled back, his face exposed now and putting his mask on the table. With a content sigh he listened to Mei sing, getting braver by the word, soon going so strong and high that she seemed like a completely different person. If he wasn't so fixated on watching Mei's performance, he would have noticed how Zenyatta was looking at him, head bend slightly to the left, shoulders up, as if he was smiling... Angela and Zarya had almost refused to sing, Mercy due being embarrassed, Zarya because she didn't care, but Ana had been able to coax them into singing "I feel like a woman" with her, and all three seemed to enjoy the experience quite a lot, even having a group hug at the end. Maybe it was just because both Ana and Zarya were bit drunk and Mercy was just happy she had sang after all, or maybe the girls had forged a whole new friendship on the stage, Genji was eager to see. Ana's second turn was right after her first, and she embarassed her daughter by Singing Meredith Brook's "I'm a Bitch". Everyone else found it quite fitting however. Lucio would then sing one of his first singles, getting everyone pumped up again. Barely after Lúcio had finished, a familiar sound of bass started blasting off the speakers. Hana was standing on the stage soon, singing one of the most well known songs of her homeland. Gangnam Style. Most of the watchers got up to dance with her while Hana used her chirpy voice to make even Hanzo smile, despite no-one having any idea what she was saying. The beat and Hana's dancing was enough to get them pumped up. Even Genji got up to dance, and pulled Zenyatta to dance with him. The omnic was bit confused at first, but soon danced in perfect sync with his student. All too soon the song was over. When the party people finally calmed down, Genji saw Zenyatta's name pop up on the screen. His heart missed a beat. He had almost forgotten that his master would be singing too! And he had already thought his night would not get any better... Zenyatta's motor whirred louder than usual, and the omnic slowly got up, checking on his robes to make sure they were straight, and levitating his orbs on the table. "Watch over them while I'm on the stage, Genji." he whispered to him, making his way to to Lúcio who was holding the mic for him while everyone else cheered. Genji watched Lúcio whisper one last thing in Zenyatta's audio receptor, the Omnic nodding and taking the mic, slightly bowing. Ebony man bowed back and made his way back behind his desk. Zenyatta turned to face the crowd, seemingly eager to get to singing again. Genji didn't notice how he was at the edge of his seat, holding his breath. Slowly the lights dimmed to almost none at all, the only thing making light was Zenyatta's forehead-lights with their cold blue gleam. Silently the music started, and Genji recognized it soon as Owl City's Fireflies. Every time a little chime ringed in the song, the backdrop showed a colorful flash, adding more and more, until the room was filled with light. As the song kicked up, Zenyatta brought the mic to his face... and sang. "You would not believe your eyes If ten million fireflies Lit up the world as I fell asleep 'Cause they fill the open air And leave teardrops everywhere You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare" As the omnic's synthetic voice calmly made out the vocals of the song, Genji felt shivers on his back. Master's voice was... like that feeling you get when you see snow for the first time in your life, or when a bird lands on your hand to feed of the bread-scrums you're giving it, or when the first gleam of sun breaks its way trough the clouds after a rainfall. He watched the slow, subtle movements Zenyatta made while singing. Those small moves that were in perfect synch with the rhythm of the song. "I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems" The first chorus was sang quietly, almost as a whisper. Whisper Genji wanted to believe was only for him. Just to his ears. "'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs From ten thousand lightning bugs As they tried to teach me how to dance A foxtrot above my head A sock hop beneath my bed A disco ball is just hanging by a thread" The second verse was much more pumping that the first one, Zenyatta moving much more openly, almost like he was dancing to the beat. Genji beamed, watching his master enjoy every step he took, every word he sang, every movement he made in the rhythm of the song... Genji knew that the second chorus was louder, almost booming, knowing it would be the "Wow"-moment of the song. Genji held his breath and waited to see what would happen. He noticed Lúcio bending under the counter and opening the box Zenyatta had given him earlier that day. What came out made more than just Genji gasp in awe. "I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)" From the box, thousands of small balls of light flew out, surrounding Zenyatta like fireflies he was singing of. They circled him like the orbs he had left behind just moments ago. Genji looked up to them fly around the room, and around the audience, gasping with wonder. As one landed on his nose, Genji saw that it indeed WAS a orb, just much, much smaller than the ones resting on the table right now. The light came from the shining symbols carved on them with great care. Genji wondered how long it had taken Zenyatta to make all of them, and where he had gotten the materials. He then noticed Mercy whisper something to Ana. Genji wasn't as good reading lips as Hanzo was, but he thought he saw her say "It took many hours to finish these little buggers. I'm glad they turned out so well!" Genji smiled. Of course. Angela would seem like a person with time, know-how and materials to help Zenyatta make all of these little things. "Leave my door open just a crack (Please take me away from here) 'Cause I feel like such an insomniac (Please take me away from here) Why do I tire of counting sheep? (Please take me away from here) When I'm far too tired to fall asleep (Haha)" The song went back to calm and collected again, Zenyatta now returning back to his more subtle ways of movement, interacting with the "fireflies" around him. All of the echoed lyrics in the background had a woman singing in them, and for a moment Genji though he could recognize the voice... But he brushed it off his mind as Zenyatta turned to face him on the stage. "To ten million fireflies I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes I got misty eyes as they said farewell But I'll know where several are If my dreams get real bizarre 'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar" All throughout the verse, Zenyatta was staring straight at Genji, face expressionless, but voice with a slight hint of thousand feelings all mixed into one. Pride, happiness, sadness, glee... Genji was only half listening to the words themselves and just staring at the Omnic with wide eyes and a gentle smile on his face. Zenyatta was singing JUST FOR HIM right now... those words were just for him to hear. Now the things everyone had told him were confirmed to be true. Zenyatta did have feelings for him. Genji felt his heart burst with joy as Zenyatta turned back to the other audience to finish the last chorus. "I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep) I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep) I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Because my dreams are bursting at the seams" As the last words disappeared into the night, Genji found himself standing and applauding as hard as he could, alongside everyone else on the base, cheering and whistling to the most amazing performance they had seen in a while. Even Zarya smiled and gave few genuine claps and a toast to the Omnic. Zenyatta simply bowed and thanked everyone on the mic before handing it to Lúcio. "Master... that was... absolutely amazing!" Genji gasped, taking the omnic's hands in his own without even realizing it first. "Thank you Genji. Your words mean a lot to me." Zenyatta said, sounding bit winded. He quietly squeezed Genji's hand, making the other notice he was indeed holding them, and quietly freed his other, waving it few times, gathering all the wandering orbs and retreating them back to their box. After he was done, he took a deep breath and sat down. Controlling all of those small orbs at once must have taken some wind out of him, Genji though, sitting back to his place. Hanzo smiled warmly at his brother, seeing how he was still holding on to his master's hand. But McCree had disappeared. "Thank ya all for coming tonight! You all made this night amazing!" Lúcio spoke to everyone trough the mic, and everyone cheered. "Now feel free to stay behind and enjoy the great company! But before we wrap the karaoke-portion of this night up, there is still one more song we have to hear for this party to truly be seen as a Overwatch's Karaoke Mayhem!" he continued, smirking. Genji put two and two together; McCree was nowhere to be seen, and there was still one more song to. "Nooooo" he groaned. And just few seconds later, Lúcio jumped off the stage and McCree's voice started residing the well known words of Cotton Eye Joe. The crowd either groaning, laughing or cheering with tears in their eyes. Some were happy to hear Jesse's gravely voice sing the old classic, and some could not believe he actually did it. Genji turned to Hanzo just to see him mouth "We're done!" to Jesse. It happened to be a silent moment in to song and McCree mouthed away from the mic "But baby, I love you!" looking heartbroken. Hanzo simply blushed and looked away. Genji felt a wash of realization over him. How Hanzo and McCree spend most of their time together nowadays, how Hanzo interacted with the cowboy much more different than anyone he knew, how they even spend most time in this party! Genji almost threw himself to Hanzo to hug him and tell him how happy he was for his brother, when Zenyatta tugged his arm. "Can I speak with you in private?" He whispered. Genji's heart skipped a beat. "Sure." he muttered, as they left McCree finish the song and Hanzo to blush. --- "I can't believe I didn't notice before!" Genji gasped as they walked outside the base, the faint ending notes of Cotton Eye Joe on the background. "Notice what?" Zenyatta asked. "Hanzo and Jesse! They've been together this whole time! And I didn't notice until now! Haha!" Genji laughed, grabbing Zenyatta from his waist and twirling them around a bit. Zenyatta yelped, but laughed them as Genji let him down embarased. "Sorry. I'm just so happy for them! Jesse was my best friend back in the Blackwatch days and Hanzo... well, is my brother! And I thought he would never find anyone he would be happy with! And they are perfect for each other!" cyborg said, walking around, not able to keep himself still. "Hanzo is serious, loyal and smart, but bit too grumpy at the times. Jesse is funny, laid back and strong willed, but has a bad habit of forgetting to work before play! They are made for each other!" Zenyatta chuckled. "I'm glad to see you so happy for your brother and friend. It really warms my motor to see you so happy for someone else." "Haha, about time I suppose..." Genji laughed, stopping his pacing to face his master. He took a silent breath. This was it. He didn't care anymore! He would tell his master his feelings, here and now! All he needed was an opening... "So. What did you want to talk with me?" Genji asked, taking Zenyatta's hands in his own again. Zenyatta sighed happily, lowering his face a bit, as to smile. But he lifted his head soon and said: "You're ready Genji." "Ready?" Genji asked. "Ready to face the world as who you are. You are happy, you are one with your new body, you have friends and your relationship with your brother can only get better from here. You're ready now." Zenyatta said, happily. But then he lowered his face again. This time he wasn't smiling. "You... don't need my teachings anymore. I... have no more to teach you. You're... ready." Genji felt his heart sink. THIS was what Zenyatta wanted to tell him? That he was no longer the cyborg's master!? Genji felt his breath shorten, and only then remembered that his mask was still on the table alongside Zenyatta's orbs. "Ma... Master?" Genji began, but Zenyatta lifted his hand gently to stop him. "Just Zenyatta will do from now on, Genji." "Z... Zenyatta? Does this mean... you won't be my teacher anymore?" Genji stuttered. "I'm sorry this affect you so badly, Genji. But that is only bigger reason to let go now..." the omnic sighed. "It's... okay..." Genji said, taking a deep breath. Zenyatta had been more like a friend to him for months already! In bigger picture nothing much would change. Plus! Now they would not have an awkward teacher-student-thing to get over once he would tell about his feelings! This was a good thing! "We... we can still have our daily meditation, can't we?" Genji laughed. His remaining skin scrawled when Zenyatta didn't laugh with him. "I'm afraid not, my friend. I'm... leaving the Overwatch tomorrow." Everything went dark in Genji's mind. He could not process the words he had just heard. On the background he could hear a somber love song, as if to mock him. "... no..." was the only thing Genji could say. "No, master... Zenyatta! You can't go! I- We need you here!" "I'm happy you wish for me to stay, but the world needs me out there, not here." Zenyatta said, his voice clearly somber with sorrow. "I'm a monk, Genji, not a fighter. I wish to return to the road, find more people to help, more students to give my time to. I can't do it here..." All of the sudden Genji's mind went back to the night they had just spent together: Zenyatta saying how he felt jealous to his friends, how Genji had ignored Zenyatta during these last few days, the words of the song when Zenyatta was singing only to him: "I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes. I got misty eyes as they said farewell"... Zenyatta had been planning his leaving for a long time already... "No, nonono, Zenyatta, you can't leave now! I... I..." the words got stuck in Genji's throat and were replaced by sobs. Zenyatta seemed like he wanted to take Genji in his arms, but in the last minute backed off. "I'm sorry Genji..." he sighed, walking away slowly. He didn't return to the party, and instead headed for his room, only levitating his orbs back to him. "I'll leave first think tomorrow. I... would like it if you came to say goodbye. But I understand if you feel too angry to." the omnic said, stopping for a second. With a shaky voice he finished: "If I don't see you anymore; I'm proud of you Genji. Goodbye..." Genji fell on his knees as the tears came hard. This was not how this night was supposed to go! He was supposed to make Zenyatta laugh and happy! He was supposed to tell how he loved him! He was supposed to LIKE him! Why was he pulling away!? "Genji?" he heard Lúcio's voice near by and soon felt his arms around him. "Genji! Man, what happened!? Where's Zen?" the ebony man shouted, trying to get Genji to stand up. "You were wrong. All of you were. He doesn't like me... He... He's leaving Overwatch tomorrow!" Genji almost screamed, tears flowing from his eyes. Lúcio let out a gasp, and called Hana and Lena. The two girls, alongside Hanzo, McCree and Angela were soon there. "Brother!" Hanzo shouted, seeing Genji on his knees on the ground. "What happened?" he asked, wrapping his arms around his little brother. Genji sobbed something about Zenyatta leaving, and Hanzo looked up to the others who all turned to each other, not believing their ears. "That... doesn't make sense..." Hana sobbed with tears in her eyes. "Zenny was so happy when talking about Genji! They were supposed to get together and married and---" the rest was choked up by the girl sobbing and crying and muttering something in Korean. Lena hugged her and sobbed herself. "I don't believe any of this!" she sighed sadly. "This is not how it was supposed to go!" "Actually..." Mercy whispered and everyone turned to her. "When Zenyatta and I were working on those orbs, I asked how he felt about you, Genji. He said so many beautiful things about you. In such a voice that could not be mistaken to anything else but undying love!" Angela sighed with tears in her eyes. "But... he also said something that made me worried... He said he was not good enough for you." Genji lifted his head from his brother's shoulder and looked at Mercy with confusion on his face. "He also said he misses the monastery, the road, the buzz of big cities, smiles of the people he has helped... He misses his old life. But he could not see how he could fit his old life and his love into one life. I told him we would find a way together, but he said he already knew the answer... I though when he sang to you and then took you out that he would confess all this to you... I... I'm sorry, I should have talked to him more..." Genji felt like he was more torn between happiness and sadness than ever in his life. More than when he first met his brother after their fateful fight, more than when he first joined Overwatch, more than when he first met Zenyatta... He wanted to go and take Zenyatta in his arms and tell him how much he loved him, leave Overwatch with him and travel back to the monastery... He also wanted to let Zenyatta go, wanted to let him live his own life in piece. He wanted to go to Zenyatta and yell at him for even thinking that he wasn't good enough for him! All of these feelings fought inside him while the others around him sobbed, cried or simply looked sad. Hana was wailing in Lena's arms, Jesse had tipped his hat over his eyes to hide them, Lúcio was pacing back and forth not knowing how to feel, Hanzo was still holding him, eyes hazy with tears, Angela was swallowing back her's. That was when Genji realized that these people cared for him as much as he cared for them, maybe even more! They wished happiness for him, and when it was stolen from him, they cried with him... Genji took a deep breath, wiped his eyes, nodded at his brother, showing he was fine enough to be let go of, got up and looked at his friends. "I know what to do." he said quietly. "But I need your help." "Anything, man!" "Of course luv!" "U-*sniff*-Uh-huh!" "Whatever ya need, partner!" "Tell us what you need Genji!" "Anything, brother." Genji smiled. He spew out simple commands to each. Hana and Mercy to wipe their tears and go get Zenyatta back to the party as soon as they could. Hanzo and McCree to sit him down and make sure he would stay put. Lena and Lúcio to follow him back on the stage and help him out to put up a show just for Zenyatta. --- It was fifteen minutes when Hana and Angela rushed trough the door, dragging confused Zenyatta between them. Hanzo and McCree gave the omnic a cold stare, pushing him down on his seat and sitting on his both sides to make sure he would stay there. Zenyatta looked around confused. Hana and Angela had just broke down his door, Hana, with red eyes and raspy voice, had screamed something in Korea that Zenyatta's translators now processed as "heart-breaker" and "Dumb monk" along many other not so nice words. Angela had just been quiet and asked Zenyatta to come with them once Hana was done screaming at him. Now Hanzo and McCree were giving him cold looks as if he had killed someone. When Zenyatta noticed Genji on the stage, the sorrow he had felt before the girls came bursting in came back to him. Genji was holding the microphone in his hand, and Zenyatta knew what would happen next... part of his was afraid... and part of him wanted to burst into tears with joy. A soft piano started to play on the background when Genji came to the light to everyone to see. Many were surprised and confused to see Genji on the stage. Wasn't the karaoke over already? But when they noticed Zenyatta sitting on the middle of the room, they all gasped softly and nailed their eyes to see what would happen. Even Zarya took a better position to see what these two weird omnics were up to... Genji started to sing, in Japanese, but thanks to his translator Zenyatta understood each word. So far only him and the Shimada-brothers could understand the words sang on to the air, and that was exactly how Genji wanted it to be. "I'll become a happy butterfly, and ride on the glittering wind I'll come to see you soon It's best to forget the unnecessary things There's no more time to be fooling around" Genji had partly chosen this song because it had Butterflies in it, and he knew Zenyatta loved them. "What do you mean, wow wow wow wow wow? I wonder if we'll reach the skies But, wow wow wow wow wow I don't even know what my plans are for tomorrow" On the chorus many recognized the song. "Hey, isn't this from that super old anime?" Hana asked from Lena, whispering over the music. "Yeah, sounds like it. But It's a pretty song, so, I think it'll work!" Tracer answered. "After an endless dream, in this world of nothingness It seems as if our beloved dreams will lose Even with these unreliable wings, covered in images that tend to stay I'm sure we can fly, on my love" The words "on my love" were in english, so everyone could understand exactly what Genji was singing about and a quiet "aaw" washed over the room. Zenyatta was still as a stone, optics watching Genji. "I'll become a merry butterfly, and ride on the earnest wind I'll come to see you where ever you are Ambiguous words are surprisingly handy I'll shout it out, while listening to a hit song What do you mean, wow wow wow wow wow? I wonder if it'll echo through this town But, wow wow wow wow wow There's no use anticipating" The slow tone of the song didn't really give Genji much free will to dance to the beat, not that he wanted to. Most of his concentration was on the words and not to burst into tears in the middle of the song. Not yet. Maybe at the end... "After an endless dream, in this miserable world That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay I'm sure we can fly, on my love" Zenyatta was as still as when the song began, but from the slit's of his optics Hanzo and McCree could see something clear, like tears, slowly fall on his face. It was coolant. Many omnics would start "crying" it when their feelings got them overheated. His internal cooling system was swirling hard, and the Omnic seemed to be slightly shaking. "After an endless dream, in this miserable world That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay I'm sure we can fly, on my love" Genji let out a gasp as the song was over, dropping the mic down in his hands. He looked at Zenyatta with tears flowing from his eyes. Neither of them moved an inch for what seemed like a minute. Everyone, even Zarya, were on the edge of their seats... Finally, so fast neither Hanzo or Jesse could react, Zenyatta got up and started running. But not away. Towards Genji. The cyborg let out a happy sigh, opened his arms and let the omnic run into them. Everyone started cheering wildly. McCree even took out his gun and shot the cealing few times. Genji held the shaking Omnic in his arms so tightly, as to never let him go. "I'm sorry..." was the only thing coming from Zenyatta's voice-box. Repeating over and over, more sad, more somber than before. "Don't apologize. You're confused. You don't know where you belong, where you should go. Should you stay or leave. You have no reason to apologize..." Genji reassured despite his own voice cracking multiple times. "Genji... I don't deserve you..." "And I don't deserve you." "I don't want to leave... you or any of these amazing people..." "You don't have to..." "But... I miss home... I miss my life..." "We can always visit monastery! And take holidays to travel together!" "You... how can you come up with the answers to all this so easily?" "Because I love you." Genji held Zenyatta's shoulders and his forehead against his own. "I love you Zenyatta. I love your laugh, I love your voice, I love you the way you are. I'll live my life making you happy, protecting you, and if I ever let you go, I would not be able to live!" Zenyatta let out what sounded like a cry. Burrying his face on Genji's shoulder he sobbed. "I'm sorry Genji... I... I thought you didn't... I was so lonely... I'm sorry... I love you. I love you too my Sparrow! I love you so much!" "I'm sorry I left you alone for such a long time. I promise I'll never leave your side again! I promise... I love you..." The two Omnics were the only ones who heard the words they exchanged, only few words slipping trough the team's cheers and roars. Hanzo tried, and failed, to keep tears in, and McCree gave him his hat to hide his eyes with, openly crying himself. Lena, Hana and Angela were hugging, jumping and creaming with joy. Lúcio played some calm love-music on the background, fighting back tears. "Oh my god, just KISS ALREADY!" they heard from the audience. Everyone looked up to Zarya who had shouted it. Zarya looked down on everyone. "What?" she asked, lifting her class. "That's what everyone I waiting for, right?" and took a sip from it. Genji chuckeled, melting when he heard Zenyatta join him. He lifted the Omnic's face straight to his and pressed his lips against the seam on Zenyatta's face. Zenyatta pressed gently against him as the team cheered and clapped for them. Genji swore he could hear his brother wailing with tears of happiness, suddenly muffled by something, most likely Jesse's shoulder. But he didn't turn to look. All he cared for now was Zenyatta. END So yeah. here ya go! Some fluff for you all! God this took whole day to write! And it suuucks and is super cheesy haha! XD If there are typos I don't care lel Before you say that Zenyatta was being mean or out of character, please remember that you only read Genji's point of view here. I didn't do that good of a work to explain how Zen felt about this, but I might write a mini-fic about it if enough people whine about it lol.

[captainjacksparrowpotc]

Dead Men Tell No Tales - Review (sort of)

Okay first of all, I wrote an entire review and because tumblr is a fucking piece of shit it glitched or whatever and I lost it all. Fuck you tumblr. Anyway, here is another version. I’ve probably forgotten to cover some stuff. My original covered like everything. Ugh. I’m so pissed right now.

So, I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, and as I promised, I’m going to tell you guys what I think of it.

Before I get into it, I’d like to start off with some important notes. First of all, this is going to be long as it’s an in detail review of the whole film (keeping in mind I’ve only seen it once), mixed with some of my thoughts on the franchise as a whole, and some headcanons. It’s kind of a combination of review, general thoughts, and slight rant over things I disliked about the film. Secondly, I’ve only seen it once, so this is all going off memory. I might have gotten some details wrong here or there. I’m doing this off a one time watch and memory of that. My opinions might change when I rewatch the film a second, third, or fourth time. I’ll let you know if they do. Thirdly, I’m warning everyone about language and negativity. Fourthly, this might contain some unpopular opinions and I’m not apologizing for that. That brings me to my fifth, and most important, note that this is my personal opinion. I am, as you are as well, entitled to my own opinion. I also would like to say as this is my blog, I’ll post whatever I damn well please. If you wish to discuss something with me, you may. Key word here being discuss. If you are planning on starting a fight, or coming to me to spew hateful words because you disagree with me, kindly fuck off. With that being said, on with the review! Oh, and spoiler alerts (duh).

To put it simply, it wasn’t good but it wasn’t terrible.

Quick overview? About 2 and a half hours of cheap jokes for a quick laugh. They weren’t bad (and often dirty) jokes. Got a bit repetitive in parts, and they weren’t all that great, but they did make me giggle more than a few times. Plot was, uh, lacking. It was there, but it wasn’t that good. Characterization was rather shit (for those we already knew, especially and in particularly for Jack). I do not like Kaya Scodelario. More on all of this below the cut:

(I wonder how many followers I’m going to lose because of this?)

I got to the cinema early. Almost ten minutes early, in fact. I still somehow managed to miss the very beginning of the film. I don’t know how much, but I think it was just starting? Henry was rowing. I got to my seat just as he arrived on the Dutchman. So, I’m not sure how much of the beginning I missed. I was kind of irritated because I was early, which meant they started the film WAY earlier than they were supposed to (I checked the ticket, to make sure I had the time right and I had).

So let’s go in order of what I put in the quick overview above. Then anything extra will be added after that.

First up: cheap jokes.

These aren’t new in the potc films. In fact, these witty little play on words moments, dirty jokes, and banter-like moments are often favorite scenes within the films. The problem is, it felt like they knew this, and as such over used them. It was as if they were like “okay so they like these moments so let’s shove as many as we can into the film and then double it.” Someone should have pointed out what a horrible idea that was. Too late now.

I mean I’m not saying those moments were bad. Most of them were funny. One of the things this franchise does really well is those types of jokes. But the problem was there were these great little funny moments within the film, as with the other films, that seemed to happen way too often. Noticeably too often. It felt like they paused the film to get them in.

I liked the jokes (most of them, the that’s-my-stern-not-my-port joke was drawn out for too long and died). They just relied on them too much, I think is the problem.

Second up, and boy is it a doozy, the plot.

(This might sound like characterization at first, but bare with me.)

Little Henry was cute. I can’t remember if it says his exact age, but I want to say around 10 or 12? They actually gave us a time frame with the “10 years later” or “5 years earlier” or whatever they were, but since I don’t remember the exact time line I can’t say for sure. Anyway, little Henry was cute. He loves his dad, and he reminded me of Will in the way he vowed to free him.

Will. Now THAT is something I’m a little miffed about. There’s been a debate within the fandom over whether or not Will was cursed to remain the Captain of the Flying Dutchman for all of eternity or just for the 10 years and if Elizabeth was there waiting for him he’d be set free. Personally, I thought it was the latter, and it made more sense that way. Turns out that’s not the case. I thinks it’s a bit BS, and kind of ruins the ending and story line of the second and third films. I mean, when I saw that he was still the captain and he was cursed to be like that forever, I felt really sad. And not the oh-now-I-hope-Henry-will-free-him sad, but the wow-the-ending-of-his-and-Elizabeths-story-is-now-kind-of-ruined-and-my-perception-of-it-has-just-changed-dramatically-for-the-worst sad.

It was also completely unnecessary??? I mean I was even talking with my brother about it after the film. I said that if you took Will out of the film, and just got rid of that entire plot line, it would still be the same film. He was completely pointless. For the record I love Will. He’s ridiculous and adorable. But if you’d have cut Henry and him out of the story and just had Carina in realize she needs Jack? Yeah, same story. It felt like they included Will because everyone loves Will and Orlando Bloom, so they were like “GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT! BRING BACK WILL TURNER!” But if I had been there during that decision I’d have piped in with a “yes, we all love will, but we don’t want him brought back like this.”

Seriously, Henry could have been anyone else and the story would have been the same. The plot just needed someone to find Jack and pass on the message from Salazar. At this point you might be going “but what about the trident then? if Henry didn’t need the trident to free his father then he wouldn’t need to tell Jack to get it. So Jack would have just ran and there’d be no more plot!” Yeah but here is the thing, Jack wanted the trident to stop Salazar from coming after him. All Henry did was convince him to go after it. Could have easily done that another way. I’ve got nothing against Henry, I just think it’s a badly thought out and very thin/lame plot to hold it together.  

I don’t have an issue with Salazar leaving one person alive to tell the tale and having him get Jack. It makes sense, but Henry and the Will plot point is, as I’ve said, unnecessary.

Now I was about to go onto more plot issues, when I realized that the rest of the issues I have are characterization gone wrong more than bad plot.

So, third up is characterization.

Let’s start with Henry. Already established that I think he was a cute kid. Very devoted. Very brave. I think it was a little funny how when Will told him to stay away from the sea (to which side note, wtf Will he’s your son do you really think that’ll work. look at your own story), and then Will spent his entire life on the sea. Sailor Henry was cute. Overall, I have no problem with him, mostly because I’ve got nothing to compare him to. I do have an issue with his interactions with Jack. First he wants to find him, almost seems to look up to him as this super amazing adventurer after the stories he’s heard. Then when he meets him, he borderline hates him? I mean he doesn’t, but strong dislike. I get he’s disappointed, but he does a complete 180 on his opinion on him. Then just as fast as that happens, he suddenly likes him. By the end of the film he AND Carina care about him.

See the thing here is I think they were trying to re-do Will and Elizabeth. Henry was Will and Carina was Elizabeth. Only, that didn’t work. I mean, first of all it was way too obvious and as an audience member it was kind of offence that they were basically like ‘oooh, look! it’s just like the other films. you liked those. now like this one, too. see? just the same!’ Except it was not, and you audience is not a baby that you’re trying to trick into thinking the other toy is the same one as their favorite but you couldn’t find that one so you’re trying to convince it that the toy you are presenting is just as good if not the same. It didn’t work. Henry and Carina are NOT Will and Elizabeth. No matter how many bloody parallels they draw. I wouldn’t have a problem with it if they weren’t so blatantly trying to force us to take them as the same. So since they so obviously want us to take Henry and Carina as the new Will and Elizabeth, then I’ll be comparing them. They did this to themselves.

Anyway, onto the point I was making. There was not enough development between Carina and Henry and Jack. In any combination. Henry and Carina’s romance was bullshit, I’m sorry I have to call it. Will and Elizabeth’s love story stretched back to when they were children. They’d known each other and been in love for years. They then spent THREE FILMS getting to where they were. You may argue about the end of the first film as they get together, and the second opens with what should be their engagement. But here is the thing, THEY WERE IN LOVE FOR YEARS. Henry and Carina were not. Their relationship was absolutely terribly built. I did not believe it at all.

I’d like to take a moment to give a side note that, I actually did WANT to like all parts of this. I even tried to FORCE myself to like all these things I’m pointing out and tried to convince myself otherwise. So when I say this, please understand this is me admitting it, and not me just bitching about it because I didn’t want to like it from the start. I did. I really did want to like it. I went in with it wanting to like it. Convincing myself to like it.

So Carina and Henry’s relationship progressing that fast was dumb. If they wanted to move it that fast they needed SO MUCH MORE build up. I think the problem was that this film should have spanned two films. But they didn’t have the possibility because Johnny Depp could easily have refused (maybe they wanted to do that and he did refuse, I don’t know). But they pushed a two film plot into one film. At least it feels like that. So they cut things, rushed things, and cocked a lot of it up. A real shame.

Henry and Jack I’ve already touched upon. Carina and Jack was practically nonexistent. So why she cared about him at all makes no sense. Both Henry and Carina should not have cared as much about Jack as they did at the end. I mean, sure you can argue the whole ‘they are decent people and they know him and decent people care about other’s lives and especially if they know them.’ True. But given what we know about them all, and the lack of interactions, and the fact this is the 1700s and Jack was a pirate, I’m not buying it. They’d be concerned and care on a basic human level, sure. But risk their lives to save him? No.

Before we go to Carina’s characterization, let’s get to Will’s characterization. May I please be the one to say WHAT THE FUCKITY-FUCK WAS THAT. Okay sure, I could see Will turning a bit bitter towards Jack as time went on. He starts blaming Jack for making him the Captain of the Dutchman. He’s angry. Whatever. BUT THIS IS WILLIAM TURNER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE. Will is like a fucking puppy. A cute little golden Labrador. He would have gotten over it. He’d have realized he can’t blame Jack. He’d know that Jack had to do it. That Jack did it for him. He did it for Elizabeth. He did it for himself, because Jack and Will are friends. He could not blame Jack for that. He wouldn’t blame Jack for that. At least not for long. So to have Will tell his son to stay away from Jack, to act as if he hates Jack, pissed me off. And it was not Will pretending so his son would not get involved in a crazy adventure with Jack. Will isn’t that good an actor. That was genuine hate. And it was totally out of character. WILL AND JACK ARE FRIENDS. I will scream this from the rooftops if I have to. Will risked EVERYTHING for Jack. In the first fucking film no less!!! He literally gave up (because if things hadn’t gone the way they had, that’s what he was doing) Elizabeth ELIZABETH for Jack. TO SAVE JACK. After everything, Will (and Elizabeth) cared about Jack. They’d been through enough by the end of At World’s End, that’s for bloody sure. Will, Elizabeth, and Jack are friends. I have no doubts that if one of them was in trouble, and someone came to get the other one to help, they would. If Elizabeth was in trouble and Will went to Jack for help, he’d help. If Will was in trouble and Elizabeth went to Jack for help, he’d help. If Jack was in trouble and - well you get the idea. They were friends. They cared about each other. Will’s reaction to Jack is bullshit. The way Will should have reacted was, sure, to tell Henry to not try anything because it would be too dangerous for a child. Yeah. He shouldn’t have told him to forget about him, because that’s ridiculous and Will of all people should know that you don’t forget about your father trapped by a curse to forever be on the Dutchman. But when Jack came up, Will should have told Henry not to go to him because he could see Jack becoming Uncle Jack, and dangerous adventures and bad influences on his innocent little son. He should not have been filled with hate.

Elizabeth’s characterization is kind of hard to comment on because she wasn’t there much. Like only a the end. From what I saw, I’m, uh, confused to say the least. This is 1700s. She’s a woman. You’re telling me her husband was cursed to forever be on a ship and only to come to land once every ten years, and no one batted an eye at her being by herself all that time? Why the fuck was Henry even OUT THERE to find Will? Where was Elizabeth? That in itself is a plot. That’s like Moana-esque. Henry wants to go to see (unlike Moana he knows why and it’s to get his dad). Elizabeth won’t let him go to see. Henry goes anyway. It ends badly the first time. But like, getting back to the point, Elizabeth wouldn’t have let her son do that. It means she didn’t know where he was because he’d sneaked off. So where was Elizabeth? She’s a woman in 1700s. She might be rich after inheriting her father’s money and estate after the events of the previous films, but she’d have to do something all day. Working? What? Where? How did she get away with being, what in essence, was a single mother all those years in that society, at that level class? Why did she let Henry go into the navy? Elizabeth’s characterization in this film, due to it being lacking, just raised a whole lot of questions about the implications of her whole situation.

Let’s go to Barbossa before we get to Carina. He wasn’t actually that badly characterized. I mean, they sort of went back and forth a bit. They portrayed him a bit like he was in the first film, then mixed in some of the fourth film. He was sometimes a blend of both. Which, while it’s problematic a bit because even in the fourth film when he was basking in the luxury of the upper class, when it came down to it he was still the pirate Captain Barbossa. The one in the first film. But sure. Let’s go with this mixing making sense. The thing was, he’d, at times, be absolutely one or the other. It was like you never knew which Barbossa you were going to get. Tame upper class Barbossa? Or pirate Barbossa? Or both? Who knew. It was like a really irritating game of Guess Who. Also his interactions with Jack are annoying. They’re like friends but then not. I mean, part of it makes sense for them. But after all the events of the previous films, it just doesn’t make sense for them to be... how they were. Not nearly as bad a characterization as it could have been, but parts just felt a bit odd. It kind of felt like that for the whole film though. Like they were simultaneously ignoring and not ignoring the previous four films. It was weird.

Now, I will say that I’d like to strangle the person who came up with the idea for THAT ending. I’ll say this once: Hector Barbossa does not die. We’ve already done this. Film One. Dead, then back to life at the end of film 2. I’d also like to add that we don’t see him die. Just the implication of it. So... make of that what you will. If they keep him dead then that’s stupid. If they bring him back that’s stupid too, because they’re now repeating himself, but at least it makes more sense. If he really is dead, then it is just extra stupid. His death was completely unnecessary. Salazar would have been washed off the anchor with the force of the sea and the others being forced down the chain above him. Barbossa’s death was a cheap way for them to show that he loved his daughter.

Speaking of his daughter, Carina was irritating. Since I’ve already said that I don’t like Kaya Scodelario already, let me make it clear I am doing this part without the bias of my dislike of her. In fact, I tried to make myself like Carina way more than anything because I knew I didn’t like the actress, so I wanted to make sure I wasn’t writing off a character due to my own opinion of the woman portraying her. So I’m rather annoyed to say I dislike Carina. I wanted to like her very badly. But Carina was irritating. She wasn’t charming. She was smart, which was nice, and she was supposed to be one of those ‘ahead of her time’ women. Actually, that bit was almost like the writers banging us on the head and yelling ‘HEY SHE’S AHEAD OF HER TIME.’ Like I get it. Chill. She’s one of the often seen, now almost cliche female characters in period pieces. It seems like female protagonists (or even just women that are supposed to be more important than super background characters) in period pieces have to be ‘ahead of their time’ to exist. It’s annoying, but let’s not go onto a feminism rant. The reason I don’t like Carina isn’t because she’s a cliche (which she is), but because she’s irritating. Most of the time. Not all the time, but enough of the time that it’s a problem. She’s just so narrow minded. And she is narrow minded, you can’t argue that. You can be smart and narrow minded. She has set beliefs and won’t listen, and openly mocks, others if they disagree. She thinks she’s better than everyone else. It’s irritating. Also the whole daughter things was painfully obvious. I mean right from the start it became a ‘ugh, great who are they going to make be her dad’ thing. I almost wondered if Poseidon or Salazar would be. I could go on and describe all the way Carina irritated me and why she wasn’t a good character, but I’d rather say the one thing that made me like her a little. Her one moment that makes me not say I hate her. Her one moment that is the reason I’m giving her a pass and not completely writing her off. When Barbossa realizes she’s his daughter. She was... real in that moment. Her character managed to become more human and less an arrogant, narrow minded, irritation. She had a history. Doesn’t excuse her for the previous mentioned traits, but that bit of characterization saved her for me. Oh, and I love Barbossa’s reaction to that. I think that entire scene may have been one of, if not the, best one in the film. Including the Jack bit at the end.

Now I do not like Kaya Scodelario. It’s nothing personal. I’m sure she’s a nice person. I don’t like her as an actress. Not sure why. I just don’t like her. I get that this might upset some people. I’d appreciate it if we could show some maturity and not come to my inbox to yell at me about it. You’re not going to change my mind. I don’t like her. Maybe it’s that I don’t think she’s a competent actress, or maybe it’s just her face. I truthfully don’t know what it is. There are very few celebrities that I actually truly dislike. She’s one of the few. I seriously have no idea why. I just kind of ignore her though, because whatever. I don’t like her, move on. I’m saying this because if in the future they make a potc 6 with her as a main character again, don’t expect me to be thrilled. As I said, I judged Carina completely separate from my dislike of her. Ms. Scodelario got a not that great character, and she did as much as she could with what she got. I dislike the actress separately from my dislike for the character. I’ve tagged this as “Kaya Scodelario hate” because I’ve been asked to do so before when posting something about me not being her biggest fan before. Again, please don’t come at me for this. I’m just putting it out there so it is clear that if it comes up again, my opinion is known. Don’t expect to see much of her on my blog.

Pintel and Ragetti. Yeah they weren’t in it. Kind of pissed about that. I actually liked them. They were funny. I mean the two that replaced them were Murtogg and Mullroy. Yeah, they were in the other films, but this felt like they are being stretched and converted into acting as Pintel and Ragetti. I mean I like Murtogg and Mullroy, but I liked them as them. You know? I also missed Pintel and Ragetti in this one. They could have been interesting in it. I understand that might have been a personal thing with the actors, but like that doesn’t mean Murtogg and Mullroy had to be... whatever they were. Plus, they weren’t that important in this film. Almost like it was decided that they were important enough to include because people like them but not enough to actually... do much more than exist and have some lines.

Gibbs. I don’t have a problem with his characterization. Might be a bit irritated that he was so willing to let Jack be executed considering their history and, oh, I don’t know, THE FACT IN THE PREVIOUS FILM JACK WENT TO LONDON AND OUT OF HIS WAY TO SAVE HIM FROM EXECUTION. Look, I get it. Gibbs could have been all too happy to agree to save Jack anyway, and just claimed it was only the money that did it. But? Just kind of seems lame to me. After all they’ve been through and such. I like him. I like his friendship with Jack. I think they could have done him a better justice in parts, but I don’t have too much of a problem with it. I’m choosing to believe he readily agreed to saving Jack and the money was a thin reasoning to do so. They’re pirates but they’re not heartless.

Everyone else: don’t really have a problem with it, or nothing to base one off of. I also can’t remember everyone. So, if you want a specific opinion on someone let me know. Send me an ask and I’ll be happy to answer.

Jack. OH. MY. GOD. I saved him for last because OHMYGOD. Buckle up fellas, we’ve got a lot to get through and I’ve got a lot of anger to explain.

I literally do not even know where to begin with this. I have an issue with every aspect of Jack’s characterization in this film. EVERY ASPECT. From his costume to his personality. By the way, let me first start off by saying that was not Captain Jack Sparrow that we saw. That was some impostor that sucks at being Captain Jack Sparrow. The only time we saw Jack was in the flashback (which can we please take a moment because HAHAHAHAHA what was that?! It felt like 20 minutes of back story. It was like a bad fanfic explaining an OC’s reasoning to be in the fic. (Salazar being the OC.) And as someone who has written a block of backstory in a fic like that [it was my first fic don’t judge, i’m better now] I just want to say what was that???). Flashback Jack was the highlight of the fucking film. I am telling you, if you’ve chosen to read this without seeing the film, then go see it just for young Jack. I mean, I’m pretty sure Jack was in his late teens or early twenties in that flashback. I totally understand how he got his reputation now. Like completely get it. That scene was the single greatest thing in the entire film. I loved it. It’s also so.. Jack. From how he talks, to how he acts, to explaining so many things about him. That moment, that scene is why I love these films. These films can be so good. Scenes like that are what remind me of that. In a few minutes (if that) we learn so much about Jack. I mean SO MUCH. If you want, I’ll make a separate post about that scene to explain it’s importance. But WOW. That scene is phenomenal. Well okay, I’m not a fan of the whole Salazar giving his is name ‘Sparrow’ because that’s... not accurate? I can’t remember exactly at the moment, but I read somewhere that if someone has sailed all the seas or something like that that they are a ‘sparrow’ or something. I can’t remember exactly, but like his last name had an explanation before. It might have been in the books. Not sure. Anyway, it’s just so tragic that flashback Jack is the only time Jack is Jack.

Now, present Jack is the issue here, so I’ll stop gushing over young Jack and focus on Why Present Jack Sucks So Very Much. Please note all this is disregarding Johnny Depp’s life events during the filming. Johnny Depp is a wonderful actor. He was still a wonderful actor in this film. He was Jack. He was just the Jack they told him to be. He got a wrong Jack. He made him come to life and it was, undoubtedly, a good performance. I never once did not believe he wasn’t his character. He was believable. This was not an acting thing. This was a character thing. A writing thing. A director thing. A producer thing. Whatever.

Let’s talk appearance first. He looked aged, but like it’s been some years and I’m pretty sure Jack is like in his 40s at the very least in canon at this point. So, sure aging is appropriate. I mean, if they wanted to they could have made him look younger, but then that would have been weird because he should have aged. If he hadn’t then we’d be like “did he get some kind of youth thing we don’t know about???” But the problem I had was, for the most part, Jack still looked like Jack, except for his hair. Which, if you didn’t notice, WAS BLONDE IN SOME AREAS. I have dark hair. No matter how much I’m in the sun, it does not go blonde. No matter how much I’m in the sea and sun, it does not go blonde. Jack’s hair might have turned grey, sure. But blonde? No. Unless Jack secretly makes sure to stop by a salon and have his hair done. I don’t think so, though. So there was that. I’ve made a post (read: rant) about his hair before, so I won’t go into it. The point is, Jack’s hair kind of ruined his physical Jack-ness.

Personality? Oh my god not even the same man. It’s cute how they were trying to go with ‘Jack loses his luck’ to show how desperate and lost Jack was that he traded his compass for rum. I mean they needed a reason for him to do that. Problem is, Jack doesn’t loose his luck. It just isn’t done. Also, for the record, Jack is equally luck and brains. It’s visible in the other films. He pays attention to things. He is aware of the layout of the room, of possibilities. Jack is a quick thinker. That’s like one of his main and strongest assets. His luck isn’t actually that much. It’s quick thinking. If his luck truly left him, he’d still be Jack. He’d still be fine. So this whole thing where he becomes this shell of himself, a desperate pathetic shadow of who he is, is utter bullshit.

Also, I’m mad how they portrayed him and rum. Jack is not an alcoholic. Does he drink? Yes. Does he drink a lot? Yes. Does he have self control and priorities? Yes. The last one is key. Also, Jack is used to rum. He can function perfectly well with some rum in him. He doesn’t need rum to survive, though. The thing with this film is they took the joking of Jack and his rum to unhealthy level. To Jack ruining his own plan to rob a bank. (also robbing banks? lame.) To Jack actually giving away THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO HIM (beside the Pearl) for RUM. Rum is so common. For Jack being so needing of rum that after that crazy and obviously magic curse induced ominous earthquake due to his compass that Jack would just... watch? No. Jack would have thrown the bottle of rum back at the bloke and grabbed his compass and ran out of there. He’s not an idiot. Jack likes rum. He loves rum. But his relationship with it in this film was out of character.

His compass just makes me so mad and I’m not even going to get into it. He wouldn’t have traded it. He wouldn’t have. I don’t care how low he was. He would not have traded it. That flashback showed us that for fucks sake.

Jack’s so out of character in this film it’s ridiculous. His reactions and interactions with everyone is absolutely not how they would have went. The only time he was correctly responding in character to something, that wasn’t in the flashback, was with Barbossa when his former first mate realized Carina was his daughter. Even that was sloppily done if I’m honest. I mean, it’ll pass. But that was about as in character as Jack was in present day.

Jack’s reactions to Elizabeth were SO INFURIATING I COULD HAVE SCREAMED. Actually I made this weird strangled noise in the back of my throat at one point. Jack and Elizabeth had this back and forth flirting thing that wasn’t serious. Elizabeth wasn’t ever going to go with Jack. Sure, in the beginning Jack would have slept with her if he’d had the chance, but even that could be argued as questionable by the end. After the events of the first three films, their relationship was more like harmless flirting. I don’t think, after At World’s End, Jack would have slept with Elizabeth. I mean, maybe after a few months or a year or so he would, but if at the end of the film Elizabeth had 100% seriously offered, I think Jack would have said no because it would have been weird. At that point Elizabeth was more like a friend, and dare I say little sister, to him. Jack and her had this silly flirty thing between them that meant nothing and both of them knew it. It’s why they kept doing it. Why Will and everyone else never batted an eye at it. It never would have gone anywhere. So to have Jack seriously act that way towards Elizabeth and Will and Elizabeth’s relationship is not realistic. I mean I get a joke or two. “Does Mommy ever ask about me” or whatever he said to Henry is cute and funny. One time. A single joke, because come on he had to. Sure. But he goes too far. He keeps on. He starts making it way too sexual. Jack wouldn’t do that. Let me clarify. Jack wouldn’t start saying those things to her fucking son. He just wouldn’t. AND HENRY DOESN’T REACT?! That’s his mother Jack is talking about. This just shows how this was a cheap joke. It was just a joke moment for Jack but it wasn’t funny. They took it too far. The thing is, that moment acted as characterization for Jack. And it was out of character. Jack would of course make a joke, but just one or two. A quick little quip. He wouldn’t make it so... sexual. That’s the problem. Jack turned it dirty. Far passed a silly joke. He wouldn’t do that. Jack doesn’t do that. This might sound weird to the casual view who doesn’t think much about the films or Jack. But think about it. Jack’s behavior isn’t saintly. It’s nowhere near it. But Jack isn’t a fucking monster either. Even how Jack reacts to Elizabeth in other times in the film is out of character. His reaction to seeing her at the end with Will? When he sees her it’s so sexual again. Sure, Jack would give her an appreciative once over, and he might roll his eyes and her and Will together, but he wouldn’t react to them, or her, like that. Throughout the whole film his behavior to Elizabeth is appalling because when it comes to Elizabeth especially, Jack is almost gentleman-like. No seriously. Rewatch the films. Not once did he treat Elizabeth like how this film had him do or imply the actions he’d take if he bumped into her again. Even when Jack was very drunk, alone on an island with her, and had reason to believe Elizabeth would be up for a tumble in a bit because she hadn’t had enough to drink yet but possibly would be up for it, Jack still treated her with, well, respect. He flirted. He pushed it a bit with what was really proper in the 1700s. But Jack NEVER touched her or acted like he does to her. Jack doesn’t even treat WHORES badly. I mean he’s not particularly gentleman-like with them, but he’s never actually abused a woman. He’s never done something (to our knowledge) without their permission. So to have him talk like that? It’s not Jack. They made Jack seriously act like that, and it was not Jack. I’d personally like to believe the reason Jack is so, for lack of a better word, gentleman-like with Elizabeth and generally decent to all woman, is that his upbringing. I feel like his dad had a lot to do with it. I can kind of imagine Jack having a very clear lesson and reiteration in how you do not treat a woman, why, and the consequences if his dad finds out he has (of course now that Jack’s an adult he doesn’t need the consequences as a threat, though it’s totally still valid). But whatever the reason of Jack’s treatment of women, it’s lacking in this film. 

Overall Jack is not Jack and it’s so obvious. It’s terrible that they did that to him. I know this is called Pirates of the Caribbean, and not Captain Jack Sparrow, but let’s be honest here. This is about Jack. So to change Jack so much? It’s ridiculous. I don’t know who that was, but it wasn’t our Jack.

Now, one character I didn’t mention before but would like to touch upon and provide some comments/thoughts because he’s kind of great? Uncle Jack. The entire thing with him was hilarious. I mean at the end it wasn’t. The ending of that bit sort of killed it. You know when there’s a running joke going on and one person says something to add to it or whatever and it ends up killing the joke? Yeah, Jack’s little note that got them back to the plot of him going to his execution did that. But before that the bit was hilarious. I also loved that we got confirmation that Jack’s dad can sing. I mean we all figured but we weren’t 100% sure, so it was great that we got that confirmation. Also, that Uncle Jack can sing. It’s like a low key family trait. Which is great. Can Jack sing? I mean we’ve only heard him sing when drunk or lightly murmuring. We’ve never heard him try. I bet he can. That just makes my day. Imagine it. Their entire family low key being known around the world as great singers. It’s just great. Also Uncle Jack’s existence is just great. Can you image the reunions? Imagine little Jack and him? Uncle Jack, probably his name sake, visiting him. I’m talking four year old Jack. Jack who looked at his dad in awe. Jack who wanted to be just like his dad. He loves when Uncle Jack visits. He gets to hear about the adventures he and his dad went on. Of the adventures (read: trouble) Uncle Jack got into. Eyes wide in awe. Little Jack vowing to be just as cool as his dad and Uncle Jack. It’s so cute. Jack’s family seems so close. Like sure they aren’t physically close, like they don’t see each other much. They sort of just run into each other. If one of them dies they’ll probably find out through the grapevine, but like they stick out for each other. 

So yeah. Overall it wasn’t a bad film. I mean I know this might not seem like it, but honestly it wasn’t terrible. If you’ve chosen to read this before watching the film, I’m telling you that you shouldn’t take this as a reason not to go see it. It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t particularly good. Mostly I just pointed out the issues as to why it wasn’t good but not terrible. To a casual viewer I’d imagine it was decent to borderline good. It was kind of what I expected but also not. Like I didn’t think it would be very good, but hoped it would be good. I didn’t think the problems there would be were what they were, and the disappointment was in those problems. I think I could have dealt with the plot weakness if even Jack’s characterization was the only thing that was the right one. But overall, it wasn’t awful. 

So... I think that’s it? I had way more on the other version. Thanks, Tumblr. If I’ve not covered something on here that you want to know about, just send me an ask. I’m happy to give my opinion on anything if anyone so wishes for it (for some unfathomable reason). No hate please. I’m open to discussing (again, discussing. no hate) or explaining something I’ve said further if you want. I’m pretty sure there is a load more I should have covered and did in my original post but I’ve been writing this for like over five hours now. My brain’s a little fried at this point. 

To the person who asked me specifically to share my opinion of Dead Men Tell No Tales, I hope this is sort of what you were looking for? Again, don’t hesitate to send me an ask if you’ve got a specific question. I’m sure I meant to or did have it on here originally, and am sorry I didn’t include it in this. As I said, I’m more than happy to discuss this more and/or answer more questions!

What did you think of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales?