#of nobody got me I know Gideon nav got me

[yourmomsballsinmymouth]

Every so often I remember that we'll probably never get the real Gideon nav ever like her soul won't come back to her at alecto (if it does I'll be disappointed) and even if, we won't read her point of view. So all we got of her is Gideon the ninth. And I actually cry about it.

[liesmyth]

Alright, I've got another fic question for you! What are your favorite tlt gen fics?

you say “what ARE” I took this as permission to rec Many

A Mild Sort of Resurrection by sigaloenta [Bari Star AU]

In all the extensive special briefings and all-hands bulletins and strict sets of orders preparatory to the Emperor Divine's inspection tour of the Avernus, no one had considered that God might desire to fetch Himself a coffee.

An Impromptu Christening by orphan_account

The Ninth house finds a body and a baby. Nobody who matters is really thrilled about this turn of events.

believing in everything (and knowing nothing at all) by LesbianJesusLovesYou

A series of childhood memories from the Ninth.

“Fuck it, I'm adopting her," said John Gaius, not knowing the paperwork wasn't necessary by @naamah-beherit

Gideon, a highly distinguished Cohort lieutenant, saves the day—and the girl—and then gets stuck in the lift of The Erebos with a man feeding her peanuts as if they have all the time in the world. They don't, but if he doesn't mind, then why should she?

High But Very Drear by @honorarycassowary. (written pre-NtN)

Aiglamene and Crux receive the five hundred ancient dead gifted by the Emperor for the renewal of the Ninth, and also do something that could be construed as mourning.

John 25:12 by @halfeatenmoon

John and his friends escape the cow fortress to spend Christmas Day at the beach. With beer, salads, pavlova, and the corpses of a million fish killed by nuclear weapons testing.

Mortification of the Flesh by @theriverbeyond

In the myriadic year of our Lord—the ten thousandth year of the King Undying, the Lord of the Sharpest Edge!—Harrow Nova challenged the cavalier of the Ninth for his title.

Purgatory Is Mandatory by @urban-sith (written pre-NtN)

Ianthe figures out the true secrets of Lyctorhood while stuck in a time loop at Canaan House.

recognize them by their fruits by @ceruleanvulpine (written pre-NtN)

John and Ianthe deal with the fact that his only remaining Lyctor is the one he never liked much. Maybe they can bond over the fact that they're both egotistical manipulators who lie like breathing? No?

so I open the window to hear sounds of people by @sunderedstar [but really that whole series!]

John misses the beach. The real beach. The current one is mostly soil with a lacy veneer of nuclear ash, clammy and streaky and hilariously radioactive, which is a real bummer when he thinks about it too hard. But the twenty-five meter sea level rise that came when all the freshwater ice finished melting around the mid-century mark ate away at the shoreline, rolled in between the skyscrapers on a new tide, swallowed up all the people who couldn't afford to move anywhere else. Have you seen the rent rates lately?

some part of me must have died by @theriverbeyond

What if Wake survived long enough to bring her newborn baby to Tomb, and killed her. and then the baby didn't die.

the kingdom of heaven by bittybelle

John puts that first-draft dream of his to bed.

Two Things by Isis

There were two things Jeannemary Chatur wanted: to fight for the Emperor Undying by the side of her necromancer, and for the stupid pimple on her chin to go away already.

when I call, will you come to me? by LesbianJesusLovesYou

“My Lady,” Ortus wheezed, shifting uncomfortably. “I only thought you should know… Gideon Nav was flogged before the congregation.”

[locking-the-tomb]

Third Read Notes & Soundtrack

I wallowed for about 14 hours after finishing my Nona reread and decided to start over again and write myself some summaries during The Wait.

Gideon the Ninth Chapter 1

In which we learn Gideon is a goob but we love her.

Gideon is escaping. She stole a security cuff key but left the cuff on until the morning of. She's taking her sword, her "shoes" - later called steel toed boots- , and her smut mags. Her clothes are all synthetics. She has enough hair to brush. She knows about chocolates and fancy hotels, somehow ... from mags? From Wake/mom's niche is 22 flights of stairs up to the landing field, which is still at the bottom of a deep tunnel. There are lamps on but they're low. She's kicking apart lumps of "rubble" but that's not further described. She eats porridge from a plastic bag then throws the bag over a rail somewhere. There's a balcony area. Skeletons with red eyes go to pick snow leeks.

There are white castle doors at the bottom, "three bodies wide and six bodies tall". She talks about the figures carved into the area above the doors and remembers screaming as a kid about them creeping her out. I wonder what they are, maybe related to the killed generation? How much trauma from a two year old survivor of all the kids dying?

Muster call (20 Bells) calls back the skeletons.

That's when the Marshall/Crux stomps in to accuse her. Gideon says, "say my shuttle exploded, I died and it was such a shame". 😳 (Crux thinks great idea, will do) Introduces Frontline Titties of the Fifth. He calls her chattel. He wears a big knife over a shoulder.

He gives an impressive number of threats. Gideon wasn't bothered by Crux's threats. But then he invoked Harrow and her "palms prickled". He leaves and Aiglamene enters. Gideon says she's tried to enlist 33 times. Aiglamene has a badly repaired missing leg and a scarred face.

Gideon lists what's happened when she's tried to leave before: jammed in lift, turned off heat frostbite in three toes, poisoned. She clarifies that she's indentured not a slave and claims she's not of fiscal use there. She says she will "you can quote me 'do my duty to the ninth' ". Gideon goes on a rant about "your lady" with a host of great insults, then gets slapped.

"Nobody had ever loved her in the ninth". Aiglamene was the reason she got to have a sword and training. "I'm naturally demeaning". Aiglamene walks away and Gideon falters a bit but sticks.

"Nav was a Niner name". Mentions the prison as a bubble halfway up in the atmosphere. At the end of the chapter we get the limited story of day-old Gideon being in a bio container plugged into the suit of a braindead woman who had fallen in a suit down the shaft 18 years ago. None of the Ninth necromancers could get her ghost to do more than scream Gideon three times then she fled.

"They chipped her, surnamed her, and put her in the nursery". I don't think they mention the chips again, interesting. She was kid #201. Where did the kids come from? Had they been harvesting gametes and growing them? Because the "old" people going into the doors were heavily outnumbered by skeletons. Then two years later it was just her, Harrow (who still hasn't been directly introduced as other then Lady), and Ortus. By 10 she "knew too much and that she could never be allowed to go". Of course. Because that's when Harrow had opened the tomb and her parents had died. She had started trying to escape when she was 4.

Thoughts. What's up with all the plastic? Isn't plastic from petroleum? How would Pluto have petroleum?

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

hi my name is harrowhark reverend daughter locked tomb divine scapulae nonagesimus and i have short ebony black hair (that's how i got my name) with scraggly ends and supernaturally fast growth that reaches my mid-neck and dark black eyes like the shadows of drearburh and a lot of people tell me i look like annabelle lee (AN: if you don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) i'm not related to the girl in the tomb but i wish i was cause she's a major fucking hottie. i'm heir to the ninth house but my house is pretty poor. nobody knows what color my skin is. i'm also a necromancer, and i go to chapel and study in my cell (i'm seventeen). i'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and i wear mostly black. i love the tombs of my ancestors and exhume all my clothes from there. for example today i was wearing a human bone corset with matching earrings, and long black unadorned robes and a matching veil over my face. i was wearing skull facepaint, with white foundation and black around my lips, cheeks and eyes. i was walking outside the ninth house. it was the time of year when we don't see the sun for months at a time, so there was no sun, which i was very happy about. gideon nav stared at me. i put up my middle finger at her.

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 16 of Gideon the Ninth

Blargh, I was going to make this post last night - I took screenshots, started the post, then I read chapter 17 because I wanted to know what happened next, then I got distracted and spent a while writing notes for my original fic project, then I wanted cake so I went and got cake, and then I was sleepy and went to bed

Anyway

This seems too observant to just be Gideon's POV. Is she sensing Harrow's feelings due to being possessed?

This is just after Harrow says she can see it, so presumably she hasn't actually done anything yet. So, Harrow possessing Gideon and/or using Gideon's eyes is having some effect on Gideon's own personal experience of using her own eyes, as well

So earlier, Gideon talked about physical stuff being used to prop up skeletons where the necromancy wasn't high enough quality, and now we are destroying a bone construct by destroying very specific parts of it and not hitting it anywhere else. So it seems a bit like robotics, in that there's a very physical component to making these things work, but a bit more complicated since if you hit a robot hard enough everywhere, it's going to die even if you aren't particularly careful about it. I wonder in particular about what mechanics make it so that Gideon has to not hit it anywhere except the specific weak points.

This sounds less like "only necromancers can see that and you aren't a necromancer, weird" and more like "this is something the puzzle was showing me and I thought it was only showing it to me and I was supposed to communicate it to you". Gideon doesn't notice the lights until after Harrow tells her where to hit, though, and Harrow was using Gideon's eyes, so that makes me wonder if Harrow was actually getting the information about where to hit in some other way.

At the beginning of the chapter it was her being irritated with "Nav! You could do this asleep!" and then after the fight it became this

When she says that Gideon is "not really one of ours", I'm not sure if that's new information that Gideon actually doesn't know at this point and she just missed it here because she was too busy being flustered, or if it's already established/accepted by everyone that Gideon's mom was not from Pluto. I went back to Chapter 1, and it seems to be saying that Gideon's mom couldn't have fallen out of orbit because her suit would have exploded, which seems to imply that she might have been from Pluto somewhere just because there's no evidence that she came from another planet but nobody knows for sure. Are we supposed to get from this that Harrow knows something about Gideon's mom that Gideon doesn't know?

Honestly did not expect the deaths at the end of the chapter, I did worry that Magnus would have a bad time with bone construct since Abigail seemed ready to go down the hatch, but it looks like they didn't get that far. There were some deaths mentioned in the pronunciation guide, and I've obviously been spoiled for Gideon's death already, but I didn't expect this. It's sort of ironic that two chapters ago Harrow was going "what if Magnus and Abigail poison everybody???"

Anyway, Chapter 17 post will be soon, since I've already read it, I promise like for real this time

[princessw0lf]

I posted 22,814 times in 2022

That's 2,770 more posts than 2021!

104 posts created (0%)

22,710 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kellerybird

@annalyticall

@borealisposts

@bandierarosadiaz

@bethany-sensei

I tagged 1,365 of my posts in 2022

#nona spoilers - 240 posts

#me - 18 posts

#the locked tomb - 18 posts

#gideon nav - 16 posts

#gideon the ninth - 11 posts

#griddlehark - 11 posts

#nona the ninth - 11 posts

#hmm - 8 posts

#harrow the ninth - 7 posts

#miss violet . . . your hand in marriage . . . - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#yeah summons make the game doable that's the point. my friend latenna is going to shoot magic arrows at anything vaguely threatening for me

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

SPOILERS FOR THE FINAL SEASON OF 'THE CROWN' TO FOLLOW:

125 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#4

Gideon Nav doesn't know what a fish is. I think of this often.

128 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#3

I've been thinking about that one scene in GtN where Babs flexes/stretches getting out of the pool and is disappointed that nobody checks out his abs or anything.

Who is he trying to show off for? So like, if I recall, the people there are Coronabeth (Who's basically a sister to him I guess?), Isaac (he's 14) and Gideon. Marta and Colum are in the training room I think, but clearly not paying any attention at that point.

So did Naberius Tern take a look at Gideon, see her entire image and the constant heat haze of lesbian radiation coming off her and go "Eh, may as well give it a shot"

The absolute audacity of the man

130 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#2

Gideon: (Waking up and sitting bolt upright next to Harrow in bed): "Palamadeez nuts"

184 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I'm sad that Gideon only got to be Isaac and Jeannemary's cool big sister for like, ten minutes

358 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[shieldsurf]

HUGE fucking nona the ninth spoilers. dont read if u havent finished it yet heart emoji

i have been thinking a lot about gideon in nona the ninth and her total heel turn. gideon is my Favorite Favorite Favorite character in the locked tomb by a mile, i love her so much, so when she appeared and was basically a different person? that shit caught me off guard. i still adore her tho.

unfortunately gideon, or kiriona, got kinda glossed over in nona the ninth, which sucks, because she played a super important role (speaking of, nona is the first book in the series so far i have real, not-nitpicky criticisms of. i really enjoyed it, but it was not as good as gideon the ninth, and Definitely not as good as harrow the ninth). that, and i find her offscreen character arc to be insanely interesting. she's suddenly very much not the gideon we know and love, and obviously something's up. so what happened to her?

at first i wondered if she was an impostor, but only a chapter or so after her reappearance, i was convinced this wasn't the case. there were two reasons i initially expected gideon was actually a fake: the first was that her eye color was wrong. gold? shouldn't she have harrow's eyes? those are a smoky black, right? harrow has gideon's eyes, after all. the second that gideon was, as she herself described, "mega dead" -- and the fact that her body functions like a walking corpse is proof of that. however, this runs counterpoint to the mechanics of the universe of tlt that were not only officially established in but heavily featured in nona the ninth. if gideon's soul was placed in gideon's body, by god no less, shouldn't she be very alive? both of these, however, are explicitly explained very simply: gideon is not in her own body. she is in a super-strong vessel created by god slash john slash dear old dad. a perfect recreation. this is very, very strange. i thought that the houses had gideon's body? why would she not be allowed to return to it? remember this.

three extremely important motifs present in gideons arc are those of freedom, idealism, and belonging/acceptance, and all of these suggest what may have happened to gideon in her absence -- or rather, her time with john and the cohort. we see from the moment she is teased that since meeting john she has been elevated to extremely high status, both as crown prince of john's empire and within the cohort. to the gideon nav of the first book, this would've seemed like a fairy tale. rejected, ostracized, and permanently indebted to the ninth house since infancy, there is nothing more that gideon wanted than to be a cohort hotshot. the beginning of gideon the ninth is her attempting an escape: she'd been imprisoned on that horrifying little planet her whole life, wants nothing more to escape, but her attempts are foiled and the whole book throws her longing for freedom in her face. she finds herself connecting with the harrow she terrorized and was terrorized by her entire childhood, pledges herself to her, falls in love with her, and ultimately dies for her. harrow is the one she finds herself belonging to, and she decides that is worth more to her than any freedom she could obtain.

then gideon learns who she is. harrow is gone, but suddenly there is a reason for gideon to be loved and accepted -- not just by harrow but by everyone, and it's more likely than not that she grasped it like a lifeline. she is not some nobody orphan slave to a cult, she is a crown prince, a half-deity, an icon of the future to the houses. she suddenly likely finds herself facing more power and adoration she ever could've imagined. so what happens to her when she realizes it's a gilded cage?

gideon is not allowed to go and do as she pleases; there is no freedom. she acts as a figurehead and never gets to be the respected lady-killer soldier she dreamed of; her idealized view of the cohort and her potential role in it is squashed. but she belongs, right?

when gideon kills crux, she tells him of her status. that he was always wrong to be so cruel to her. that she is more worthy of a place in the house than he ever was. and he simply does not care. he spits and her face and tells her flat out that none of it matters. to him, all she did was make harrowhark's life worse, ultimately fail her, and in his eyes, she is the greatest disappointment she could've been. gideon explodes upon killing him. it didn't feel good, she says. why didn't it feel good?

in the end, gideon's titles, her sacrifice, the months she spent playing dress-up in some sick facsimile of her face, they do not matter. it's quite like trying to reach out to your shitty parents and being rejected anyways. you say their opinion doesn't matter to you, but it does, doesn't it?

gideon has been living a twisted perversion of her childhood dreams, and realizing they weren't what they were cut out to be. she is ultimately a pawn in a larger game and she seems to be unwilling to accept this, but she knows it. she can't even have her own body back.

why wouldn't that change her? nona sees that she is deeply, unmistakably sad. it is not hard to understand why.

[mayasaura]

We Bring Hell First

Gideon the Ninth FST - A playlist in chronological order

Headstrong- Trapt

This is not where you belong/I can't give everything away/I won't give everything away

She pulled a watch out of her pocket and checked it: Twenty minutes to go, a quarter an hour and change. Gideon was home free. Gideon was gone. Nothing and nobody could change that now.

Shiver - The Birthday Massacre

A painting for every face/No correction just cover up/She can't afford to come off hot cause she's too cold to shiver

"It's embarrassing that it had to come to this," said the Lady of the Ninth, pulling back her hood. Her pale-painted face was a white blotch among all the black. Even her hands were gloved.

Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk

I always say how I don't need you but it's always gonna come right back to this/Please don't leave me

"You don't get to turn and leave quite so easily, Nav," said Harrowhark, with a palpable chill.

"You want your ass kicked by way of goodbye?"

Choke- I Don't Know How But They Found Me

Now shut your dirty mouth/If I could burn this town/I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die

Nonagesimus," she said slowly, "The only job I would do for you would be if you wanted someone to hold the sword as you fell on it."

Get Out Alive - Nightcore Reality

It's hard to imagine/But one day you'll end up like me/Then she said/If you want to get out alive/Oh oh run for your life

“Go on and say no,” said her captain. “It’s your choice … If she doesn’t take you, I’ll go with her and gladly. But she knows … and I know … and I think you damn well know … that if you don’t get out now, you won’t even get out in a box.”

Glory and Gore - Lorde

Delicate in every way but one (the sword play)/God knows we like archaic kinds of fun (the old ways)

Holy shit. Here was a warrior, not just a cavalier. Gideon was suddenly fighting for her life and exhilarated by it.

Use Me - Fox Stevenson

I know you've got a lot to do/You could use me (use me)/Like you should

"...Don’t go down there solo. Don’t die in a bone. I am your creature, gloom mistress. I serve you with fidelity as big as a mountain, penumbral lady.”

Harrow’s eyes flickered open. “Stop.”

Game of Survival - Ruelle

There's no surrender and there's no escape/Are we the hunters or are we the prey

"Murder is done by the living," said Teacher. "They were found entering the facility . . . ... I told each of you who asked my permission to enter that place that it would mean your death. I did not say that figuratively. I told all of you that you were walking into the most dangerous place in the system of Dominicus, and I meant it. There are monsters here."

If You Could Only Read My Mind - Sopor Aeternus & the Ensemble of Shadows

If you could only read my mind/you would know what I feel for you/If you could only read my mind/it’s only friendship that I seek and truth

“I need you to trust me.”

“I need you to be trustworthy.”

In the thick dimness of the room she watched the black-garbed girl in front of her struggle around a thing that had settled over them like a net; a thing that had fused between them like a badly broken limb, shattered numerous times, healing gnarled and awful.

Killer – The Hoosiers

Don't turn out the lights/Kiss yourself goodnight 'cause there's a killer/And he's coming after you

Jeannemary’s eyes were very slightly open. There was blood spattered in her curls, and there was blood spattered over the headboard. Gideon’s gaze followed the splatter upward. Written on the wall, in silky wet red, was:

SWEET DREAMS

Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish

It's probably somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud/Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now

"Magnus the Fifth was a better cavalier than I am. Jeannemary the Fourth was ten times the cavalier I am. They should be alive and we should be bacteria food. Two big bags of algor mortis. We're alive through dumb luck and Jeannemary isn't and you're acting like me letting Dulcinea die is all that's standing between you and Lyctorhood—"

I Hate Everything About You - Halocene ft. Violet Orlandi

I hate everything about you, why do I love you?/You hate everything about me, why do you love me?

"Harrow, I hate you," said Gideon. "I never stopped hating you. I will always hate you, and you will always hate me. Don't forget that. It's not like I ever can."

Harrow's mouth twisted so much that it should have been a reef knot. Her eyes closed briefly, and she sheathed her hands inside her gloves.

What Have You Done – Within Temptation

I won't show mercy on you now/I know I should stop believing/I know there's no retrieving/It's over now, what have you done?

"She's mine."

"You've said that five times now."

"I mean it. Whatever goes down—whatever happens—you have to let me do it. You have to."

"Gideon—"

"What do I do," she said, quite casually, "if she's the murderer?"

My Enemy - CHVRCHES

And you could be my enemy/And you could be my judge

"I have tried to dismantle you, Gideon Nav! The Ninth House poisoned you, we trod you underfoot–I took you to this killing field as my slave–you refuse to die, and you pity me! Strike me down. You've won. I've lived my whole wretched life at your mercy, yours alone, and God knows I deserve to die by your hand. You are my only friend. I am undone without you."

One Foot In Front Of The Other - Emilie Autumn

We fought hard not to die, yet we don’t know how to live/How do we change our world to what we want it to be?/How do we move beyond all of this misery?

Gideon braced her shoulders against the weight of what she was about to do. She shed eighteen years of living in the dark with a bunch of bad nuns.

What The Water Gave Me - Florence and the Machine

Lay me down/Let the only sound/Be the overflow/Pockets full of stones

They both went under the water, and the world went dark and salty. The Revered Daughter fell calm and limp, as was natural for one being ritually drowned,

Can't Go Back - The Crane Wives

It's time to learn to be more forgiving of yourself and your sins

“Too many words,” said Gideon confidently. “How about these: One flesh, one end, bitch.”

She's My Religion - Pale Waves

She's cold she's dark she's cynical/She's forever angry at the world/She's no angel but she is my religion

Her eyes opened. A small, astonished smile creased her mouth. The smile transformed her face into an affliction of beauty that Gideon had heretofore managed to ignore.

Golden Eyes - Hanna Willow

At least for tonight/Your golden eyes are mine

For all the rest of that evening they were furtive and unwilling to let the other one out of their sight for more than a minute, as though distance would compromise everything all over again

No Me Without You – Harem Scarem

Don’t run into battle all alone/If you’re the dark then I’m light/Together I know we’ll never fall/There is no me without you

“Of course we’re not running,” said Harrowhark disdainfully. “I said a necromancer alone. I have you. We bring hell.”

With Harrow there, suddenly it was easy, and her horror of the monster turned into the ferocious joy of vengeance.

Arms Tonite - Mother Mother 

I fell in your arms tonight/Suicide in your arms/And hey, you, don’t you think it’s kind of cute that I (I) died (died) right inside your arms tonight

“Nav,” she said, “what are you doing?”

“The cruelest thing anyone has ever done to you in your whole entire life, believe me.” said Gideon. “You’ll know what to do, and if you don’t do it, what I’m about to do will be no use to anyone.”

Take Me to Church - Grace Gaustad

No masters or kings when the ritual begins/There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin/In the madness and soil of that sad ugly scene

Harrow said-

“I cannot do this.”

“You already did it,” said Gideon. “It’s done. You ate me and rebuilt me. We can’t go home again.”

Without You – Ursine Vulpine

Hold me now/Hold me like I never did anything to hurt you/Don't let go/Give me another minute to lay here in your echo

“One flesh, one end,” said Gideon, and it was a murmur now, on the very edge of hearing.

Harrow said, “Don’t leave me.”

Don't Forget - Toby Fox ft. Laura Shigihara

There's a light inside your soul that's still shining in the cold/With the truth the promise in our hearts/Don't forget/I'm with you in the dark

“But that soul’s inside you now.”

Isolation (The Loneliness In December) - Mercenary

I can't seem to find you/I don't believe you're there/Is this your hand?/Is this the turning?/I need to say I lost you/I need to say goodbye

She expected to feel something, but she didn’t. She felt nothing at all. There was a great and gnawing emptiness, which was mildly better than feeling something, at least. A tiny voice in the back of her head was saying, Someone will burn for this, but it was only ever her own.

Hebrews 11:40 - The Mountain Goats

It gets dark and then/I feel certain I am going to rise again/If not by faith, then by the sword/I'm going to be restored

“I need to find out what happened to my cavalier’s body. I need to know what happened to the others.”

[mintycanoodles]

I posted 1,703 times in 2021

167 posts created (10%)

1536 posts reblogged (90%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 9.2 posts.

I added 56 tags in 2021

#the locked tomb - 10 posts

#acnh - 6 posts

#gideon nav - 6 posts

#shadow and bone - 5 posts

#mintydoodles - 5 posts

#no - 5 posts

#convergence station - 5 posts

#gideon the ninth - 5 posts

#meow wolf - 5 posts

#cruella - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and her only job now is to live her own life and try to figure out how to stand on her own two feet without that perfect mom that everyone

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

s/o to tamsyn muir for utterly wrecking me in the most precise and on point way I've even been wrecked by a book, with one (1) single, absolutely lethal use of the word "me"

267 notes • Posted 2021-01-26 22:45:18 GMT

#4

as done as this thing gonna get

321 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 23:51:21 GMT

#3

god it's so funny to me all the people confused about the venom movies. guys. guys. it's not that deep. these are not inherently good movies we know that these movies are for the monsterfuckers that's it that's all there is to it

395 notes • Posted 2021-10-10 06:54:11 GMT

#2

why! is it such a running theme in LGBT stories for a character to move heaven and earth and sometimes literal, actual hell for someone only for that someone to go :/ I just don't think they're that into me :\

1085 notes • Posted 2021-01-27 12:55:10 GMT

#1

comebacks for anyone still wearing masks now despite ��bUt the Cdc sAiD”

its comfy

i have mad bad chin acne that’s not ready to be exposed to the light of day yet

my face is nobody’s business but my own

its for your own good ma’am there’s snakes under here

but see i’ve got this frog in my mouth and the mask makes it harder for the frog to escape

i forgot to put my mouth on today and im just, oh gosh. just so embarrassed. 

i don’t trust any of you hoes and on the off chance the, you know, global pandemic, is still spreading im keen on doing my small part to stop it

its a fashion statement

i’ve been wearing it so long it’s fused permanently to my skin and i can’t afford to have it surgically removed

that’s not a mask ma’am it’s a birthmark 

are you my mummy?

2945 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 23:57:17 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[sincerepositivethings]

Issue 25 - Adam’s Best of 2019

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Last week I dubbed my dear friend Adam Maid "The King of Media." This is because nobody is more up to date on movies, books, music and TV than him. However, merely consuming all of that does not media royalty make. Thankfully, in addition to his vast audio/visual/textual diet, Adam also has impeccable taste. It only made sense to commission a top of 2019 list from him and share it with the world. Enjoy!

Hey, you know what was a pretty good year for pop culture? 2019. It would take forever to really get into everything I loved this year, so I'll try to contain it to just a top 15, so you can head into 2020 with the entertaining distractions you'll most certainly need. 1. Knives and Skin (movie) - A lot of people have been influenced by David Lynch, but few have been able to sublimate that influence into something as wholly new and exciting as Jennifer Reeder did with Knives and Skin. Even though it's set in a small town full of idiosyncratic weirdos (hello Twin Peaks) rocked by the disappearance of a teen girl (see previous parentheses), every scene/character/moment goes off in unexpected, surprising directions that make it one of the most original and daring films I've seen in years. Oh, and it's also sort of a musical? 2. Los Espookys (TV) - There's nothing that can't happen in the world of Los Espookys. A woman trapped in a world of mirrors? Sure. A water spirit obsessed with watching The King's Speech? Why not. Fred Armisen as a legendary parking valet? Yes. The show, co-created by SNL's Julio Torres and mostly set in Spanish, follows a group of friends in an undisclosed Latin American country bound by their love of horror and their business creating elaborate practical effects (you know, normal stuff like fake exorcisms to help the Church and tourist-trap sea monsters). It's delightful. 3. Normal People - Sally Rooney (book) - This is just Sally Rooney's second novel, but she has quickly established herself as one of the best writers of this generation. We see all of her young characters' strengths and weaknesses, how they fumble communication and collide into one another on the way to adulthood, through prose that is alive and absolutely precise. 4. Orville Peck - Pony (music) - So there's this guy. He's a country singer, but also kind of a punk, who wears a mask, has a sort of rockabilly-glam aesthetic, and his name's not really Orville Peck and no one actually knows who he is. It's a fun gimmick, but what keeps it from being style over substance is that the substance is really, really good. Sometimes haunting, sometimes straight-up rock, Pony is an album that will always instantly make you feel like you're on a highway at 4 AM. 5. The Righteous Gemstones (TV) - If Danny McBride and Jody Hill had just opted to make The Righteous Gemstones a straight parody of bloated southern megachurches and the large personalities who run them, it still would've been hilarious. But what they made is something much weirder and darker, with an Elmore Leonard novel's worth of blackmail, double-crossing, and actual intense stakes. It also gave us living legend Walton Goggins performing, and I'm being serious here, the song of the year. 6. Nilüfer Yanya - Miss Universe (music) - I listened to this album more than almost any other this year, and I still can't really decide how to describe it. Even in the course of a song she's able to somehow transition from sounding like late-period Sade to early 2000s indie rock and back again, stopping along the way to pick up and discard jazzy lounge, pop beats, heavy synths, and even spoken word. 7. Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir (book) - You're not going to find a more fun protagonist this year than Gideon Nav, the smartass, sword-wielding filth queen 2019 got but didn't deserve. I love the worldbuilding in this book, full of necromancers, puzzle box rooms, and massive creatures made of reanimated bones. 8. Midsommar (movie) - I saw this movie in theaters three times this year (and two of them were the 3-hour director's cut). I love it. It manages to be a weirdly funny, sun-drenched, folk horror breakup movie that's also about grief and healing, anchored by Florence Pugh giving one of the absolute best performances of the year. 9. Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to A Tribe Called Quest - Hanif Abdurraqib (book) - Nobody writes about music like Hanif Abdurraqib. His latest is part-biography of A Tribe Called Quest, part-autobiography through the lens of their work, part-love letter to a favorite group, part-larger reflection on race, culture, and music's role in helping a person find their place in the world. 10. Angel Olsen - All Mirrors (music) - Angel Olsen has been one of my favorite artists for nearly a decade, but this year/album felt like a leveling up in both her songwriting and aesthetic approach, bringing in a new layer of theatrical, bombastic strings coupled with an almost "Grand Dame of the Opry" stage persona that was thrilling to see evolve in real time. 11. Octet (theater) - Dave Malloy wrote one of the century's best musicals with Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812, so I had to check out his newest work at the Signature Theater here in New York (sorry, out-of-towners) that ran this past spring (sorry, New Yorkers). This piece was an eight-voice a cappella musical all focused around social media and its various detrimental effects, which, nope, I did not find relatable at all and was absolutely NOT devastated, I don't know who you've been talking to, uh uh. Anyway, a cast album is in production, so you're in luck! 12: What We Do in the Shadows (TV) - Was there a narrative need for a spinoff of the 2015 Taika Waititi movie of the same name? No. Did the show's creators find the develop a series that is both fully of that world/its humor and also stands completely on its own? A resounding yes. 13. The Last Black Man in San Francisco (movie) - I haven't stopped thinking about this movie for like six months. It's streaming on Amazon Prime now, so please just go watch it right now. (On the biggest screen you can. The cinematography is beautiful.) 14. Wilder Girls - Rory Power (book) - You simply have to hand it to a YA book with David Cronenberg-levels of body horror. You just do. Wilder Girls is set in an all-girls boarding school on a quarantined island, where everyone who isn't killed by a mysterious plague is left with some kind of physical transformation. But it's really the writing that sets it off: florid without being languid, poetic but also heart-pounding. 15. The National - I Am Easy to Find (music) - Somehow, almost two decades and eight albums in, The National keep finding new directions to push their music, and new ways for their lyrics to run you through with a knife. Yes, I am in my 30s. Ok, I know I said I'd cover my top 15, but there's a lot more I could get into and Ramsey's not here right now, so here's a quick rundown of some other great stuff you maybe haven't seen or have seen covered on other, better lists: Movies: The Farewell, Fast Color, Tigers Are Not Afraid, Parasite, High Flying Bird, Us, Booksmart Books: The Twisted Ones - T. Kingfisher, Orange World - Karen Russell, Fleishman Is in Trouble - Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland - Patrick Radden Keefe, Mostly Dead Things - Kristen Arnett TV: Russian Doll, Succession, Watchmen, Holy Moley, Fleabag, The Boys, Doom Patrol, I Think You Should Leave Music: James Blake - Assume Form, PUP - Morbid Stuff, Better Oblivion Community Center - s/t, Charly Bliss - Young Enough, The New Pornographers - In the Morse Code of Brake Lights, Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow