#of moving past it or coping with it in the healthiest manner

[t-u-i-t-c]

[amidel]

Day Six

On Friday, you returned from spending the Christmas holiday with your family and all I could think about was how excited I was to see you. We’d spent two weeks apart, which is typical for the end of the year when there’s so much to do and so little time. I got to your apartment on Saturday evening and could immediately sense that something was off. We bantered and you seemed tired, so I chalked it up as being the result of an 11h drive back from Nashville. I mentioned a few times how much I’d missed you and how excited I was to have you back. You said it was good to be back.

We watched five hours of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel and went to bed... I slept restlessly and the next morning you told me you couldn’t fall asleep until 3am. I found that weird since you were the one who asked to go to sleep, but oh well. I picked at my french toast (that you had left the house at 9am to get eggs and milk to make with) and the feeling of anxiety and unease continued to simmer. By the time we got to my house later on Sunday, I felt like I was bracing myself. For what, I didn’t know yet. Leah headed out the door and you rang out your usual “see you later!”. And then it was just the two of us.

I would’ve been tense either way, but the episode of Bob’s Burgers that was on wasn’t helping. I asked you if you were upset with me, and you said no, but didn’t meet my eye until you noticed I was holding your gaze. I paused the episode a few minutes later, and you sat up and turned to me. Before you opened your mouth, I felt like I already knew what was coming. There were a few phrases that stuck out, and others that feel like a blur.

“So I did a lot of thinking over the past week.”

“I’ve been unhappy for the past few months.”

“In your grad essays, you mentioned that you want to move home to Senegal, and I don’t think I’m in a position to do that with you.”

“Our futures and what we want aren’t aligned.”

“You want to sit on the couch and watch TV all day.”

“You like to lie in in the mornings on weekends and that drives me crazy. I can’t do it and I hate that.”

“We exist in your context. In your apartment. With your friends.”

“You want to spend a lot of time with me...”

I think this is the point at which I asked if we were having a conversation or if you had made up your mind. You responded with the latter... still, I offered my reactions. Logically, I took issue with your remarks on my habits and who we spend time with, for reasons that seem pretty obvious. I don’t know how many opportunities I’ve given you over the past year and four months to voice concerns, to tell me you’re not happy, to tell me how to make things better for us... you rarely took me up on any of them. 

The issue of grad school is valid and one that I think would have merited a conversation (that you said we weren’t having). The others, I try not to resent you for. What it comes down to is that you no longer wanted to be in a relationship, with me.. with someone else.. that, I don’t know. What I do know is that relationships are built on trust, communication, and commitment. There are so many things about the future that I don’t know, and I’d be lying if I said that there weren’t niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that shouted out some of the ways we were different (maybe too much so). But every day, I woke up and chose you and chose us. Because those naysayers in the back of my head were spoilers and I believed in us more than I believed what they were saying. 

Man, I love(d) you. I guess I need to get to the point where that’s in the past tense. I think you were trying to protect yourself and me when you brought up the varying reasons why it wasn’t going to work... it’s hurtful to tell someone that you said you loved just the day before that you were no longer interested in being in a relationship with them. I get that, and I forgive you. But for better or worse, my rational side has gone over that conversation in different stages of grief - irritated, disappointed, sad, heartbroken, ambivalent - and each time I see it in a new light.

You said that in many other ways, I was an excellent and amazing partner and that I shouldn’t take this as a reflection of who I am as a person. You asked if we could be friends eventually. I said that I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me, and that I would need some space. You mentioned how calm I was... I said I was heartbroken but processing and would respect your decision. 

Today is Saturday. Juice cleanse aside, I slept poorly most of the week and have barely eaten. Though for some reason I can’t seem to have a proper cry about this, my body’s definitely reacting to the sense of loss I feel. I am eternally grateful for my support system and network of friends and family who surround me. This week would have been exponentially harder without them. I still woke up on a few mornings with my heart heavy, but I have been getting through each day. One after the next. I still went to Yara’s party on New Year’s Eve and our belated holiday gathering last night. Baby steps.

Weekends are going to be the hardest part. We had an on/off schedule during the weekdays but I knew weekends were for me and you. Finding things to do so I don’t end up sitting on the couch feeling sad is almost in direct conflict to how I want to cope. But it’s probably the healthiest option to go after. Nothing against wallowing, but balance is important. Today is the first Saturday since our breakup and I went to brunch with Dueaa and Leah A in NE DC. We drove through regular traffic and every time I saw a white Jeep, my heart skipped a beat. 

So. I don’t think we can be friends yet. Maybe when my heartbeat settles.

I had a slip-up and sent you a link on Twitter on Thursday. It was about Obama and Hamilton and while I think you appreciated it, I definitely just felt the need to be connected to you somehow. I told you about my juice cleanse and how I’m starting therapy. You seemed happy for me but didn’t offer any updates about yourself. As Yara pointed out, I need to get used to the idea that you’ve lost the privilege of knowing how I feel, my hopes and dreams, and my life updates. The nitty gritty crevices that people in your inner circle are kept abreast of. You were polite and encouraging in your responses. You’ve always been polite - that’s what drew me to you. So well-mannered. But I was right when I asked you for space on Sunday. This half-in, half-out isn’t going to work.

I think the hardest part is breaking habits: not texting you in the morning when I wake up, or when something reminds me of you, or the mindless banter on GChat that would make my work day a little less draining. 

I don’t regret any part of being with you. I think a part of me knew that I was more “in it” than you were... you were never overt about it, but I guess time together helped teach me how to read you. I keep telling myself that I’m glad this happened now as opposed to in the summer when I would be moving or changing things in my life. Imagine making a decision thinking you and someone else were on the same page, and it turns out you were reading different books. Now that’s heartbreaking. 

Still. It doesn’t make it easier. My rational thoughts have won out this week, but I’m dreading the moment that my emotions catch up. Though, I wouldn’t be mad at a healthy cry. How do I feel now?

Relieved that I started 2019 with the people who want to be in my life. Still sad. Thankful for the people around me. Lonely that it’s a Saturday and I’m on my couch with music and my thoughts for company. Happy that while it didn’t last, we had a year and four months of growth, love, and respect. Nervous that I’ll see another white Jeep and that’ll be what brings the tears on. 

All I can do is take things a day at a time. This is weekend one. Next will be weekend two, and so on, so forth. It’s an odd and disappointing feeling to feel unwanted, but I also understand that not all things last. And I’d rather know now so other blessings can come my way. I keep thinking I want to be six months out from this already so hopefully I’m in better spirits. But that’s not how that works. 

So today is day six. I went to brunch, spoke to my mum and younger sister, and had a call with Camryn. I started reading Michelle Obama’s new book. And it’s pretty damn good (already). Maybe journaling will help me process how I’m feeling at the moment. Maybe it won’t. But it’s a step. 

[callmetatenda]

thank u, next

I know I abandoned my blog, a little… I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. But I’m back & I’m better [in my best Bryson Tiller voice]. See here’s the thing, life just started happening, things were moving and shifting I got caught up in a lot. So I needed some time to recuperate, think and come back as the best version of myself. I’m trying out some new stuff on this blog, on my music channels and my social media presence in general. I just feel like I have a lot to say and plenty ways to release them so bear with me & stay tuned to my other socials for some fun things. I’ve been thinking of what I’d say when I came back to this platform and I wanted it to be right, I wanted to articulate it in a correct manner. I’m the kind of person who has a lot going on in my head but I won’t voice it unless I truly think it will hold some kind of impact… so, here it goes.

I know you’ve heard that Ariana Grande song by now & I’m not gonna lie, when I read about it before hearing it, I was like… eh another pop song about her past relationships that’s cute or whatever. BUT when I tell you I finally listened to it, and it pieced together what I’d been going through in so many ways I’m THRU. Ariana DID THAT.

So, as the year is coming to a close I’ve been thinking and reflecting a lot about where I am, where I’m going and how far I’ve come (won’t He do it?!). A couple months ago I packed up my bags and moved countries from everything I know and am familiar with and embarked on this journey with my studies. Now, combine that with adulting-- you know handling my finances, working, and making my own doctors appointments-- coping with probably the biggest change in my life, and  harbouring certain relationships and friendships that weren’t the healthiest. I was really going through it. But I’m a gangsta so I shed a lil thug tear and kept it pushing. The way I’m used to handling or dealing with things is if you’re not good for me, or good for my well being I will cut you off. Which in essence, is the healthy thing to do right? However, I learned that cutting someone off and being bitter or holding anger or hurt over the situation won’t do anything for you.

I know that the right thing to do is forgive & forget but if I’m being completely real and transparent. I’m only human. Sometimes-- most times I can’t do that. I can’t easily forgive and I had to come to terms with the fact that’s okay the good Lord is still working on me. What I can do though, is change my perspective.

If God didn’t want me here, He wouldn’t have brought me here. That sometimes means it’s literally time to say THANK U & NEXT to a lot of things. thank u, next.. to that unhealthy relationship. thank u, next… to the friendships that are holding deadweight. thank u, next… to the situation that you got so comfortable in. thank u, next… to allowing people to talk to you anyhow. thank u, next… to staying stagnant and not evolving or growing. Staying in the same place won’t allow you to grow. Granted, the people who you came up with and the situations you’ve become comfortable in is a lot of what has shaped you. But know that God will use certain people for certain eras of your life for a particular job.

I had to come to a place where I asked Him to pull me away from anything and any relationship that He wasn’t in. That’s a hard prayer to pray. Because you’re asking Him to rid you of the people and the things you have grown to love. I kept praying about certain situations and people in my life, saying, God if you’re not in it.. if you’re not in that friendship, I don’t want to be there. I want to be where you are. As much as it might hurt me, take me away from it so I can have what YOU have for me.

In my perfect world it would work like magic and I’d be a new creation, there would be fairy and pixie dust and *poof* it’s done and everything would be cool and we move on. Obviously, it doesn’t ever really work like that. Over the years, I learned that one of things that triggered my anxiety is being lonely. So I would cling onto people and friendships and tell myself “well at least I’m not alone,”. I’m mentioning this to highlight the importance of that prayer. I literally asked God to take away everything I’m comfortable with knowing it could very well take me to my dark place. I mentally prepared myself like “wow, if I can’t text this person at 2AM or whenever I feel low I’ll actually be a wreck,” and I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, but I’ve handled it like a champ if I do say so myself.

I had to realize that sometimes when God wants to work on you, He has to isolate you from some of the things you love and the people you love. He will put you in a place where you are able to hear him and totally be committed and focused to His plan. The thought of this used to scare me a little bit, [like, can we keep it 100 and be all the way transparent?] because honestly, I’m comfortable with these toxic relationships because it might not be alllll the way healthy, but at the end of the day I’ll still get that affirmation that makes me feel good and happy so like why would I walk away from that. At this point I’m looking at God like, “Come on my dude… I know you probably don’t want me here right now… but like I’m kinda sorta happy, sooo I’ma stay in this until the wheels fall off this thing,” and the tendency is then to run from God because you’re lowkey ashamed. And that’s the funny thing about God, He’s not this huge scary character that’s gonna punish you if you don’t do things His way. God is literally love. He’ll let you do things your way. He will watch you act like boo boo the fool, watch you walk right into the fire and at the end of it He’s there and ready to catch you He is your Father.

I started looking at things without the element of resentment or anger to a point where I could be grateful for certain situations and still say peace out & God bless ya. In everything I was moving on from, one taught me love, one taught me patience and one taught me pain fOR SURE. But here’s the thing, let’s go back to this Ariana song because I don’t think y’all understand the timing it all just fell right in place I’m excited okay. The first verse she’s talking about her ex boyfriends and that one taught her love, patience and pain okay but then she gets into the second verse where she says she’s moved on to some on else [at this point I’m like oh noo baby what is you doin??] then SIS SAYS HER NAME IS ARI. She has moved on to herself! SOMEONE SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK COME ON THAT’S A WORD. Then minister Ariana continues to say, “she taught me love, she taught me patience, she handles pain that []’s amazing”. HELLO?

Once I became committed to actually not letting certain things and people have a hold on me and my life anymore, that’s when God started working. God started pouring out things into me. I started to be with and by myself all the time and was okay with it. I’ve grown to love my own company; I’ve learned that in my own company I do some of my best writing, I sing some of my best songs, yo not to toot my own horn but ya girl is fly. I’m literally living my best life [peep my ig for real life proof] and that doesn’t go to say that there won’t be bad days; it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss certain people or don’t feel empty some days. What I’ve learned in this season of self-love, self-awareness and growth is to stay at His feet. I’ll never lack anything if I keep that relationship with Him.

So for now, I’ll leave you with these gems until we meet again,

BOP OF THE WEEK: thank u, next x Ariana Grande

VERSE OF THE WEEK: Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

[maxbegone]

Don’t mind me, I just feel the need to reflect a little bit on this past year. 

It was a weird one. 2017 brought a lot of things to light. I graduated from high school which is a feat within itself, I started college in hopes to work towards a creative career, I met so many new people, and I’ve rekindled my love for some things. 

However it’s the communities that I’m a part of here that make me so happy. I’ve said it so many times but the gaming community has welcomed me with open arms. In fact, as I write this, I’m letting the credits roll after my first play through for Uncharted 4.

I’ve been introduced to Critical Role, and from there Dungeons and Dragons. Ask me if I’d be interested in D&D a few years back and I probably would have said no. Now I have a plethora of dice sets, a character who has been fleshed out to an extent, I’m on the hunt for a campaign, and from there I've come back to my love of storytelling. 

This year, I discovered poetry through the works of @amandalovelace, and from her Sophia Elaine Hansen. I read, re-read, and re-re-read Brian Wayne Foster’s book which is so raw and beautifully-written it’s inspired me to begin writing in a similar style -- prose, poetry, short essays. I discovered comics like Saga and The Wicked and The Divine. I went to NYCC and stumbled upon @afterglowingassassin in-line to meet Troy Baker, whose music and work gives me so much inspiration and hope and energy to keep moving forward.

Because of all of this I’ve begun writing again. I’m writing. For me. 

Four big moments for me this year; doing an open mic and reading an original piece of work back in February, graduating high school, moving into college, and coining an article for my school’s magazine that focuses on uniqueness and individuality based on scars, imperfections, immune disorders, etc, that was recently published. 

But of course, there are the downsides. My mental health took a toll on me, as it always does, showing me exhaustion in a new manner. But it is by far the healthiest I’ve been since being diagnosed. Hell, I let it weigh me down, but I still work towards getting better each and every day.  

With the help of two wonderful girls I’ve had the pleasure of befriending ( @kaleidoscopegirl and @chloetheexitwounder ). I couldn’t get through the day without you two. 

2017 has officially drawn to a close, I’ll admit that I don’t remember what my goals were, necessarily. But for 2018, it’s as follows; take care of myself, stop worrying about how much time you have in all senses of the word, allow yourself to enjoy what makes you happy, allow yourself to be opinionated, tear down the wall you have built so sturdy, and stop using self-deprecation and sarcasm as a coping mechanism. It won’t help you. 

I wish you all the very best for 2018, and I hope you achieve whatever it is you wish to do. 

I started this post in 2017, and I’ve finished it in 2018. 

Happy New Year, folks.

Ally

[botanycameos]

What do you think the differences would be between how Khan and Stephen Strange would handle their PTSD? They would definitely have it after all they've been through. Both have enormous responsibilities on their shoulders and both I would say have trust issues (albeit for different reasons and to differing degrees). Both have been willing to endure hell to protect their charges and have a strict code of honour. But they are very different men. I wonder how they would deal with their torment?

Oh noooo, this question… XD *can’t help writing meta*

Wall of text incoming. lol

They would indeed both have PTSD, but imho, in different ways/for very different reasons. And they are indeed both extremely different people who inevitably wouldn’t handle it the same way.

KHAN

I feel like Khan’s fear of failing his people, and of them all dying because he wasn’t “enough”, would likely be worse for him than the PTSD itself (something we don’t really see in Space Seed --where he’s fresh off the ice and super confident still--, and which is at its most visible in STID, where he’s just gone through a year of being kept away from them, struggling against horrible odds to try and rescue them, and failing), although those two things would go hand in hand together, fueling one another.

Also, Khan likely has gotten PTSD since an early age, due to his life in the labs and so on. But he also would be a lot better prepared to deal with it, and his military mindset as well as life experiences (+ his extremely focused willpower and determination) would make him better able to cope with things that would have crushed a normal man. The fact that he can function at all after everything he’s gone through in his life, is proof enough of that...

He’d likely already have some degree of PTSD  at an early age and while that sucks, it also means he would have learned along the way the best ways for him to cope with it, because as we’ve seen, he’s super effective even now, so whatever methods he’s using, they are working for him, so far at least… (He managed to take over such a large part of the world despite all the past trauma, and that requires a multitude of skills that he couldn’t have been using if PTSD was controlling his daily life then. Although it’s quite possible he might have moments where things aren’t as tightly controlled.)

Khan would also likely react to some things in a significantly more proactive and even aggressive manner – imho he would actively fight his trauma, as if it was a physical enemy. (He’s a great chess-player when it comes to handling enemies, but you can’t really play the same games when the enemy is inside you.)

On one hand, it’s not ideal, because there are moments where he clearly uses wrath as a method of coping (stuff can’t hurt as much if you’re focusing on the anger instead, ergo vengeful thoughts are a way of not thinking of the loss etc. –he’s always moving forward, even when he can’t at all, it’s a form of escapism, an unhealthy coping mechanism in a way. As long as he is prepping plans to attack the conference room to avenge his crew, or trying to crash a ship etc., he isn’t having to face the void without them, or figure out how to live after that –if he was even going to consider the possibility of outliving them much longer, that is. Whatever is the what-to-do-after reasoning in his mind, the momentary violence of vengeance is a thing he chooses over the alternative of giving in to mourning and passivity).

I’m sure it’s also how Khan deals with fear. Nothing can hurt you as badly if you’re putting all of your focus on going forward and on the anger rather than the pain. In many ways, he’s like a volcano, but with extreme composure and self-control, preventing that anger erupting at the wrong time & damaging his prospects. So he only “blows up” when it can be of service to his plans (unleashing extremely effective violence like when they were making their way to the Vengeance bridge), or when he’s so lost that there’s nothing else left (like when he thought his crew was dead.)

He’s been made and brought up in a world where violence is the language spoken, and it’s one he’s mastered well, even if it’s not the one he prefers when he has a chance to chose another path. As we’ve seen clearly mentioned in canon, when he has the chance to chose peace, he does. But if he thinks that’s not an option, then he can speak the other language perfectly...

Imho, Khan bottles his problems up, but uses parts of it to fuel his anger and determination to accomplish what he set out to do (save his people, take them to safety, get them a new world) that keeps him going. Although he’s nowhere as indestructible as he appears/as he tries to make others think he is, far from it.

So in conclusion, Khan’s methods are not the healthiest but they work for him, and he’s able to cope with his pain and traumas in a way that while not ideal, helps him remain stronger and keep going.

(Though if he completely broke, he’s not necessarily the kind who can get back up after. This is what happened in TWOK, he lost it completely because of the death of his wife and so many of his crew, and madness consumed him, poor thing. But that was an event horizon of despair crossed there, like when he thought his people were dead at the end of STID. If they remain living, he likely would manage to heal or at least keep going until they’re safe.

Without his loved ones, he likely would remain lost or not survive. But as long as they are alive, he has a reason to go on, and somehow manages to pull through no matter what. He’s the ultimate survivor.) 

STEPHEN STRANGE

Stephen on the other hand, is in a far more vulnerable situation. He has none of the military training, preparedness or life experience (let alone augmented stuff), and he was a complete civilian until recently.

He too has gone through traumatic experiences over the years (the loss of all his family), but that doesn’t necessarily prepare someone for additional trauma, especially of such a vastly different nature; in fact, if you look at his life you can see that the reason why he became such a materialistic and arrogant doctor was precisely because of all the loss that’s happened in his life. That was his escape, his coping mechanism to close himself away from the pain, and it did not work. It only made things worse.

After Kamar Taj, he’s stripped of that too, as well as of his arrogance and the huge ego.

He’s now selfless and wide open, exposed. And while he certainly has learned a lot about finding peace within himself and through meditation etc., and he’s now far more in control of himself and centered, it doesn’t change the fact that he always had such high fear of failing, and now the fate of the whole world is on his shoulders. (At least Khan only has to protect his people, Stephen has to prevent the entire planet being destroyed).

“It’s not about you”, of course, but he’s still the one who has to do his best to prevent the world ending. Hence his willingness to take upon himself hardships that no one else would even think of facing.

If that wasn’t hard enough in itself, Stephen just received more brutal trauma and on a higher amount than any other hero, going through what must have felt like an eternity of agony and suffering.

That he went through that and didn’t break/didn’t give in and undo the timeloop, is truly amazing and awe-inspiring, but it does not negate the extreme damage it must have left him with.

When he came back to Earth he was so shaken still that he seemed both extremely elated that it was over (inevitable, with the horror he just got out of) and somewhat out of things, even acting weird and cracking a joke about Kaecilius’ death (something he would not normally have done, as we saw from his behavior in the NY Sanctum earlier, about the value of life. The end Kaecilius and the two zealots got was worse than death itself, and if Stephen was not totally out of it then, he would never have joked about it. He likely was later horrified by his joke, if he could remember it when he woke up).

Imho, after Mordo left, Stephen likely didn’t last much longer before collapsing, not only from all the mental trauma but also because he was extremely injured still (the stab wound alone likely required either hospitalization or better yet, whatever medical intervention they have in Kamar Taj for those cases, especially after Kaecilius ripped the stitches by kicking him in the chest during the battle. It’s likely that it was through sheer willpower and determination alone (+ the fact that he was timelooping endlessly while facing Dormammu, rather than having more time elapse) that Stephen lasted this long rather than passing out sooner.)

There’s also the fact that the life Stephen has ahead of him now is going to be extremely hard. This selfless sacrifice he’s made was not a one off. He’s been conditioned to do this (by feeling like he has to, as well as by simple lack of others to take his place – the responsibility is there, and he’s the one with the highest potential of them all, now that TAO is gone –there’s really no one else for the job of Sorcerer Supreme), feels obligated to ensure everyone’s well-being, and will put himself through countless horrors in the future also.

It was always so in the comics. He’s no longer the arrogant surgeon, and Stephen never does anything halfway: The Sorcerer’s code demands that he be always ready to die if needed, the poor thing. And then there’s also the extreme loneliness of the position.

In the comics, fairly often, things would be so bleak that Stephen would have to force himself to act cheerful because, as he said, otherwise magic might fail him, if he allows himself to become too disheartened or depressed.

At times in the comics, he was so broken that he could not even focus enough to use magic. (When his personal life fell apart even more with Clea leaving, he couldn’t even travel between dimensions due to being so depressed that he couldn’t function enough to make the magic work.)

So he has to artificially force himself to go through the motions and act cheerful etc. even when he’s not. (Something we’ve seen he has also used as a coping method for when he’s scared –cracking jokes to defuse situations where he feels uneasy, like when Wong threatened him during their first meeting– so that tendency of his will most likely keep on going).

It’s kind of heartbreaking, to imagine him so torn up inside, but still having to force himself to go on forward, to put on a brave face and force himself to smile and try to focus on not letting the depression etc. swallow him, lest he loses the ability to use the necessary magic when he has to save the day. Poor thing.

Also, the PTSD from Dormammu will likely leave him with so much trouble sleeping and so many moments of panic at random things that reminds him of it. He will likely search for so many ways to cope and try to bottle it up so much, put on a brave face etc., but hopefully Wong might be able to see through it and help him.

I wish there were so many more fics exploring this theme about Stephen. Not only the horrors he goes through as the price of having saved everyone, but also what ways he might find to get better and move forward, and the times when that doesn’t always work.

One thing is certain, this isn’t trauma you can heal from on the short run, and even once he eventually gets better, he will still have some of it with him forever. It could be years later and he will still flinch or jump when hearing something making a noise reminiscent of one of Dormammu’s piercing rocks, or have a panic attack due to something that feels too much like when he was trapped in Dormammu’s tentacles (and Stephen is a character who is constantly getting attacked by tentacles in the comics…), and so on.

It’s the most broken up characters, with jagged edges still cutting them inside, who are the most interesting and the most heroic.Especially in how they manage to still get back up and keep going, to keep helping and so on, despite the terrible damage that’s been done to them. ;-;

[yeskhanzadame11]

Top 15 Weight Loss Myths

There are many not unusual weight reduction myths that human beings stay by on the subject of their health. It is hard at times to split the weight reduction myths and truth from what's actual. Many sound actual whilst others are simply laughable. I once study somewhere that if you drink water at night time that you're going to gain weight or that in case you scratch your head too regularly you're going to lose your hair....

Weight Loss Myth # 1 The greater weight that I must lose the extra severe my exercise habitual should be

Weight Loss Truth: Although having an extreme exercising routine is tremendous, there are some things you must do not forget: the primary being that everybody is at a unique stage in relation to their fitness and how much depth they can in reality cope with. If you've got been physically inactive for some of years, an extreme workout for you is probably, taking walks half a mile a day. After you walk that half of mile you word that you are sweating bullets and which you are worn-out. However, for someone who has been bodily lively for decades, strolling 1/2 a mile can be executed with out a sweat. Everyone has a distinctive definition of what "intense" is.

If severe for you is running out for an hour a day, but because of lifestyles's busy schedule you only have time for 20 mins a day, then those 20 mins will move a really long manner. It might not always be labeled as "severe", according to your definition, however the ones little cardio moments will have advantageous fitness altering outcomes.

Fat Loss Myth # 2 Stress and weight gain do now not move hand in hand

Weight Loss Fact: This is one of those "laughable" myths. To study extra how strain is adding lbs. For your existence please down load my free E-Book, "Psychology of Releasing Weight"

Weight Loss Myth # three I can lose weight at the same time as eating some thing I need

Weight Loss Truth: Sir Isaac Newton as soon as said " What is going up ought to come down." There are natural standards that govern our lives. If you throw a ball up inside the air, it is going to come back backtrack. You can sit down in your sofa and imagine and visualize that the ball will staying afloat inside the air, but natural principles train us that it'll come down. Same is going with regards to our weight.

This is one of the maximum not unusual weight loss myths obtainable. It is illogical to assume that your health and weight are going to be in stability if your nutrition consists in particular of Twinkies, chips, and donuts. Sure you could burn it off by using workout, but the general public whose weight loss plan consists of especially junk meals are probable no longer disciplined enough to paste to a exercising routine. I do understand a few people who, from the outside, appear like they are in proper shape, due to the fact they're no longer "fats, but who've high ll cholesterol.

Just because I feel sorry for crushing the hearts of such a lot of twinkle enthusiasts available, I would say this. You can consume junk food, cookies, chips, ice cream, pizza, burgers.... All of these "soul satisfying ingredients", however it have to be moderately. Anything in extra is in no way proper.

Fat Loss Myth # four Skipping food is a great way to shed pounds

Weight Loss Fact: There are severs research that display that individuals who pass breakfast and eat fewer times during the day tend to be lots heavier than who have a wholesome dietary breakfast and then eat four-6 small meals in the course of the day. The cause to this is probably the truth that they get hungrier afterward in the day, and can will be inclined to over eat at some stage in different meals of the day.

Weight Loss Myth # 5 I will now not lose weight even as ingesting at night time

Weight Loss Truth: You can over bask in food at some point of the day and not eat a single factor at night and you WILL advantage weight. As is the truth that you can starve yourself during the day and consume all night time lengthy and you continue to will gain weight. The key right here is stability. If your frame is telling you that it's miles hungry then perhaps you must concentrate to it. The truth is, that over ingesting, whilst now not workout, will motive you to advantage weight; regardless of what time of the day that you consume. Whenever I am hungry at night time, as is my habit with other food during the day, I try to pick out something that is herbal in nature. Something like fruits, veggies, or I may even make myself a fruit smoothie. During those moments that I am craving ice cream or some thing candy, I permit myself to get some, and DO NOT sense responsible about it. Many those who are overweight stay their existence in guilt and disgrace. I permit myself to get a few, however, WITH MODERATION.

Fat Loss Myth # 6 I'm not ideal until I shed pounds

Weight Loss Fact: The individual who does not feel ideal due to the fact they're fat is due to the fact they are now not ideal to themselves first. The way which you think others view you is based totally in your view of your self. I sincerely accept as true with that one have to turn out to be emotionally suit earlier than becoming physically fit. I actually have long gone thru those self-proscribing emotions earlier than. Once I realized that I changed into ALREADY ENOUGH in the eyes of God and that I had no want to prove myself to all and sundry or to receive outside validation for my self confidence, that made all of the distinction for me. Once you be given your self as who you are RIGHT NOW and realize which you are already sufficient in the eyes of God, you may no longer experience like you aren't applicable because of your weight.

Weight Loss Myth # 7 I want to cut calories to lose weight quicker

Weight Loss Truth: Cutting your energy down might be a first rate factor, in case you are notably overeating and stuffing your face. However, if you are consuming proportionally then cutting calories would possibly have an aversion affect. If you are reducing energy and are ravenous your frame, then as a way to decrease your metabolism, or in other words sluggish it down, which may also bring about you surely now not dropping any weight in any respect, even if you are "reducing energy"

Fat Loss Myth # 8 Skipping meals will help me lose weight

Weight Loss Fact: Skipping food can also in reality motive you to advantage weight! You turns into too hungry and could sooner or later need to devour. This will knock your metabolism astray and will ultimately sluggish it down. Think of a vehicle jogging low on gasoline (food), in case you do no longer fill it up, it's going to in the end forestall operating. Same is going for our frame, we need to maintain it fueled continuously.

Weight Loss Myth # nine I suppose I have genetic weight advantage, it runs in my own family!

Weight Loss Truth: Can someone say E-X-C-U-S-E-S? I will now not deny that there might be dispositions for heavy mother and father to elevate heavy kids who will continue to be heavy their whole lives, but I do not believe that there's actually a "fats" gene or DNA available. What we do inherit from our family, normally folks who directly raised us, are our perspectives and beliefs. Your views about food, cash, faith, politics, education, etc. Are based upon how you were raised. If you have been raised in a home wherein the number one food cooked wherein fried foods, then you might have a propensity to preserve cooking and eating fried meals during your lifestyles. If that is the case then you definitely is probably a little heavy across the waist. The smooth issue to do is responsible it on individuals who had been in price of your upbringing, however, you ALWAYS have a desire to alternate.

Fat Loss Myth # 10 Eating healthful is simply too difficult

Weight Loss Fact: Eating healthy is the most effective component in the global.....As soon as you've got skilled yourself to do it. How usually have you ever placed a goal to lose weight or to "consume higher"? The first few days you're doing terrific, ingesting all kinds of foods that you commonly wouldn't eat. Then some thing funny began to manifest, you went back in your vintage behavior and behaviors. This has happened to you in different areas outside of your fitness. It could be with making money, looking for a new job, or for your relationships. Creating a new addiction takes time because our mind's do not like alternate. Change to the brain is dangerous. Anyways, if you would really like to analyze extra about how our mind tries to sabotage us from developing new behavior then please download my free E-eBook, "Psychology of Releasing Weight"

Weight Loss Myth # eleven You ought to give up your favorite ingredients to lose weight

Weight Loss Truth: What would a international without chocolate and without pepperoni pizza be like??? I assume it would be a torturous international to stay in!! Lola, now on a real be aware I absolutely disagree with this fable. You are honestly capable of devour your preferred ingredients. Depriving yourself of this kind of pleasure isn't a laugh, and quite frankly you probably WILL eat it anyways. As has been referred to before, the actual secret is moderation. If you're a steak lover, then perhaps it might not be the nice things to eat it each unmarried day, but possibly once or twice every week. Those who realize me in my opinion know that I LOOOOOOOOVE hen wings with pizza. In an ideal world wherein I wouldn't gain any weight and my arteries had been clog-much less, I would really like to consume it several times per week, well greater like each day. However, I understand that the ones aren't the healthiest of food picks so I have it approximately 2-3 times per month. I am not giving up my favorite ingredients, I am simply ingesting it sparsely so that it would not trap up to me within the form of extra weight.

Fat Loss Myth # 12 Overeating is as a result of starvation

Weight Loss Fact: Nice strive there. If handiest we may want to blame "hunger" for it. In fact, this individual we name hunger has not anything to do with you OVEREATING. It may have something to do your frame telling you that it's time to "fuel up" and that it desires food, but that isn't always an illustration that one have to overeat. What causes many people to overeat are exclusive motives. One of the main ones is feeling of stress, depression, loneliness, anxiety, fear, and different down grading emotions of that nature. Many times food can be a way of fulfilling your wishes. You is probably without a doubt getting your wishes met thru your foods. For example, if you stay a lonely life, and are not very happy, then meals should possibly be a way of you feeling happy and comforted. There are other articles that I actually have written in this difficulty however suffice it to mention that overeating is NOT purpose by being hungry.

Weight Loss Myth # thirteen Only drastic diets paintings

Weight Loss Truth: There goes that word once more...Diet....The ones "drastic diets" are handiest true for short weight loss and rapid weight benefit once you get of it. These drastic diets variety from the "cookie diet", lo.... All that manner to "the water simplest eating regimen"..... I am certain you could shed pounds at the same time as on these Diets, however the weight can be received proper back and commonly with a few added weight as a bonus

Fat Loss Myth # 14 I am too fat and too a long way down the street to start

Weight Loss Fact: A lengthy journey starts off evolved one step at a time. It is natural to count on instant results and to even fear the road in advance of you; in particular if you are extraordinarily overweight. The mystery right here is to make SMALL incremental modifications. Don't expect perfection because on the way to lead you to disappointment. You are never too far down the road to in which you can't see the sun's mild......

Weight Loss Myth # 15 I cannot do it, I even have tried normally and feature failed

Weight Loss Truth: The exquisite Henry Ford once stated "Whether you suspect you could, or you believe you studied you can not- you're right.'"......It is 90% attitude, and 10% clearly getting off your butt and doing something about it. You give way, you get returned up.... You give way once more, you get returned up again. If you've got attempted to lose weight inside the past then it is time to maintain attempting. Discouragement is to dropping weight as is a chunk of fried kook to a vegetarian......They DO NOT go hand in hand.

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Who Has The Healthiest Hearts Within the Global?

Some years in the past, Dr. Gregory Thomas notion he had, in the end, discovered the Holy Grail of coronary heart disease. And it changed into even located in a tomb.

                                      Healthiest Hearts 

Synonym of Healthy

He becomes studying the arteries of 3,000-yr-vintage Egyptian mummies, and the notion this became, in the end, it: a culture that would be freed from a coronary heart ailment. coronary heart disorder could not be greater than 3,000 years vintage, could it?

Man, he was disenchanted.

“The mummies had an outstanding deal of atherosclerosis of their peripheral arteries,” says Thomas, who directs the MemorialCare coronary heart & Vascular Institute at Long Seaside Memorial Scientific Middle in Long Seashore, Calif. “So our assumption became that plaque in arteries changed into a customary part of aging.”

In other phrases, no matter how a great deal you exercise, how much kale you devour and what number of cigarettes you keep away from, heart sickness is inevitable. In the end, all of us’s arteries will harden up with a few calcium plaque as they age, Thomas thought, growing the chance of heart attacks and strokes.

Now a set of farmers in Bolivia have blown that concept out of the water, Thomas says.

The Tsimane are a local population Inside the Amazon who make a living by using looking, fishing, foraging and farming. The institution has preserved their tradition and language for lots of years. And their way of life is rather exact at shielding the coronary heart, Thomas, and his colleagues pronounced Friday In the Lancet.

Of Tsimane people over age forty, about eighty-five percentage have no atherosclerosis. And nearly two-thirds over age 75 were reputedly freed from arterial plaque.

Compare that to Individuals — who have exactly the opposite facts. almost 85 percent of USA citizens over age forty-five have atherosclerosis. And handiest 14 percent are free of the plaque.

That data means the heart of an eighty-year-vintage Tsimane has the “vascular age” of an American in his or her mid-50s. And the Tsimane have formally dethroned Eastern women because of the organization of humans with the healthiest hearts Inside the World, the study reports. The Tsimane now have the bottom ranges of coronary artery disease ever recorded.

“I was simply floored with the aid of the information,” Thomas says. “The Tsimane have extraordinarily healthy hearts.”

So what’s their mystery?

To discern that out, Thomas and his colleagues measured the quantity of calcium deposited In the coronary arteries of greater than seven-hundred Tsimanes among age 40 and 94.

The team also measured other elements connected to a heart ailment, which includes blood pressure, body-mass index, levels of cholesterol and infection degrees.

At the surface, it wasn’t clear-cut that the Tsimane’s would have such fantastic coronary heart health. Their risk factors for heart disorder are a combined bag.

The institution has low blood strain and occasional LDL cholesterol, in the common. But they have got low ranges of the “top” LDL cholesterol and high tiers of chronic infection, which has been related to heart disease.

In phrases of weight: None of the Tsimane are obese However about a quarter of adults qualify as “overweight,” says Michael Gurven, an anthropologist at the College of California, Santa Barbara, who contributed to the take a look at.

The average BMI was approximately 24, which is close to the upper end of regular, with a BMI of 25 taken into consideration obese. “So it’s no longer that they’re top notch-lean,” Gurven says.

The Tsimane get a ton of exercise, Gurven says, However, it’s no longer really excessive exercising.

Hearts Symbols

“I suppose there may be a preferred stereotype that in case you’re a hunter-gatherer and farmer, that you’re exercising vigorously each day, like the equal of walking a marathon, and that is not the case,” Gurven says. “it is actually simply that they are no longer sedentary.”

Rather the Tsimanes do a number of on foot — approximately 7 half of miles every day. And they’re lively for greater than 90 percent of sunlight hours. In the assessment, People spend about 1/2 their waking hours sitting down.

And sooner or later, there may be food plan. When you pay attention “hunter-gatherer,” human beings regularly think of the meat-packed paleodiet. But the Tsimane food regimen couldn’t be similarly from that.

greater than 70 percent of their calories come from carbohydrates — ones that are packed with fiber, which includes corn, cassava, and plantains. The other 30 percent of the energy are split frivolously among protein and fat. The Tsimane eat no transfat and very little easy sugars. In contrast, Individuals still eat greater than a gram of transfat each day and 22 teaspoons of greater sugar.

So in the end, what’s the key to their first-rate heart fitness? The excessive-carb, low-fat weight-reduction plan? The abundance of low-level exercise? An incredibly wholesome weight?

Gurven says they don’t know yet

“You know it’s now not precisely the answer people want to listen,” Gurven says. “there is no silver bullet in opposition to coronary heart disease.”

But the findings additionally show which you don’t must go to extremes to enhance your coronary heart health. A bit extra walking, A little much fewer fats and A few pounds off your frame probably work in concert to cut your risk of coronary heart disorder.

Discover ways to Guard Your coronary heart With Decrease levels of cholesterol and Reduced Pressure coronary heart sickness is a serious circumstance that can be difficult to treat in case you don’t know the proper way to Decrease levels of cholesterol. Cardiovascular troubles like coronary artery ailment can right away result in an extended list of other complications in case you don’t find proper treatments and alternate your horrific habits. A lifestyle trade is regularly crucial to correctly manage any severe fitness hassle and keep away from complications.

There are numerous things you can do to Decrease levels of cholesterol. The first step you need to take is to assess your lifestyle and understand health dangers which you may manipulate, if now not absolutely dispose of.

Proper Pressure Control

Strain can weaken even the healthiest coronary heart. With proper Management, you’ll be able to keep away from fitness situations caused by a worrying way of life. if you are harassed at work, taking a couple of minutes off your work and following proper respiration can help relax your tensed nerves, deliver oxygen on your mind and make you suspect greater certainty.

Stretching is also a good manner of coping with Strain, especially if you spend time in the front of the PC the entire day. Have a few minutes far from your computer to relaxation your worn-out eyes and move your body and limbs.

Aside from right Pressure Control, you could deal with your coronary heart by consuming foods which help to Decrease levels of cholesterol.

Diet for a wholesome heart

GM Global Connect

Pick the Right Form of Fat

fats aren’t always usually awful to your frame. a few Fat are vital. There are some varieties of fat you may take that won’t, in addition, increase your cholesterol levels. Select olive oil, trans fats-loose margarine and margarine, that helps Decrease cholesterol whilst making ready and cooking your food. keep away from butter, gravy, cream sauce, coconut and palm oil.

Protein Alternatives Low on fat

One of the maximum commonplace misconceptions about a diet for a healthful coronary heart is that you need to completely keep away from meat. you could take A few servings of protein regular supplied you Choose a source of protein this is low on fat. some protein assets you need to include on your weight-reduction plan are lean meat, fish, low-fats dairy products and poultry without the skin. Soybeans and merchandise manufactured from soy like tofu are true resources of protein which might be low in fat. You must avoid organ meats, complete-fat milk, cold cuts, spare-ribs, publisher 1st baron Verulam, warm dogs, sausages, and frankfurters.

Now not All Fruits and Greens Are suitable

Some other false impression human beings have about a wholesome weight-reduction plan is that each one style of Greens and Fruits are top for you. when selecting Fruits and Greens make certain you Choose fresh ones. The canned End result, fried Veggies and people organized with cream sauces are excessive in fats and no longer excellent for you. If you haven’t any desire and need to purchase commercially packed meals, make certain you Choose canned Greens that are low in sodium, and Culmination packed in water or juice. keep away from shopping for products which might be chemically preserved.