#of her anyway like itll do anything. its like. whatever. just get that over with and we'll go back to normal

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

If I actually think about it for a bit all of our fuckass health problems (the physical ones) seem to have had their start around when the pandemic went on in 2020 which made me get sick with some mystery illness(es?) for a ridiculous amount of time until it fucked up our body just completely. Side-eyeing our mom who saw us take masks a bit too seriously back then and sat us down to tell us off and argue via facts and logic why we're so stupid for believing in covid until we started crying and had to agree to stop wearing masks properly while going out with her anymore. We should have bit her then actually

[the-owl-house-takes]

I COULD TALK ABOUT HOW THE SHOW LIKE COMPLETELY REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE GUS EVER!!!.

i can talk about how RECENTLY, in a panel, they were asked “how would they react if Luz died?” and they gave amity, willow, HUNTER more detailed answers than GUS. they said, “gus and everyone else would be sad” or some shit.

i can talk about how they literally never talk about him, OR his v/a! and when they do its bs (above). i hope its clear that they got BOSCHA and KIKIMORAS V/As, aka two characters nobody actually gives a flying shit about (the actors are rlly nice though no shit on them), on an interview, but not gus?? really??

i can talk about how, even with the episodes being FOCUSED ON HIM, he gets overshadowed by other characters. whether purposefully or not (who am i kidding, its always on purpose lmao). like in labyrinth runners, he gets overshadowed by hunter and amity, and in through the looking glass graveyard, they put a FUCKING lumity kiss.

i can talk about how in WAD, when luz was in her dream, all of the characters had outfits that correlated to how luz “came into their life and changed it” or whatever, but gus is wearing is GROM SUIT, why? because the show IGNORES HIM THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME, and he never gets a ‘big moment’ with luz unlike everyone else!

i can talk about how it takes until the LAST MINUTES of THE LAST EPISODE for him to get a new haircut, and the fact they couldnt even animate his hair right in the beginning anyways. not like they cared to!

i can talk about how it feels like he was literally just thrown in there for black representation, and they dont do shit anyway!!!! hes the only ‘main’ black character (excusing darius and ig willow who is blasian but. on average, nobody would really know that abt her anyway)

i can talk about how all the canon ships are poc x white, yet gustholomule, poc x poc, literally gets ignored too. like how did fucking aladarius and huntlow get a chance?? i know gm is really just an opinion (and probably always will be) but they had so much chemistry compared to the other two. cmon, the fuck? everyone else gets a partner but not him? and if hes every confirmed to be aroace, itll just be another stab in the gut. Im aroace myself, and lillith was already ENOUGH bad representation!! if he was aroace, it would literally just be one excuse to why they ignored him and his chance on having a potential partner. not to mention they completely glaze over his short lived crush on bria.

sorry the rant was so long, i could go into more depth but i wont and theres defo a lot i missed but whatever. but i guess my take really is THE CREW FUCKING SUCKS ASS AND GUS DESERVES BETTER!!!!! (also mb if anything is written weird im tired raah)

-

[spin-birdie]

tabaxi tav headcanons

teehee making an original post on this blog for the first time in like 2 million years because i have cat-people brainworms. anyway

tabaxi tav (tavaxi, if you will,) acting very much like a cat when it comes to hanging out/showing affection towards their companions

they're totally content to just sit across from someone while reading separate books. like, wyll's reading some adventure book and tav is reading a book about ancient githyanki architecture or whatever niche thing they're invested in, and wyll thinks they don't like him cause they haven't said a word to him the whole time but tav is like "man i love hanging out with my good friend wyll :)"

going through obsessive phases as tabaxi are wont to do. they spur every companion into a passionate rant about their field of expertise at least once. (like when they're into githyanki architecture they happily let lae'zel talk their ear off about anything and everything related to it)

tav purring when they're happy is a given. but also. cats are known to purr to soothe themselves or other cats in their colony when they're distressed. tav noticing shadowheart is upset about something, getting as close to her as they can, and instinctively purring to try and comfort her

karlach is like forbidden fruit to them at first, bc part of them wants to curl up next to her and use her as a space heater, but the rest of them wants to keep their fur blissfully unsinged thank you very much

astarion immediately takes a liking to tav bc they're the only other person in the party who will enable his sticky fingers, for they too will pick up random trinkets for the sake of it

you empty out their pack and its just full of like, anything remotely expensive or unusual-looking that they picked up with intent to either sell or research and just got bored before they could get around to it (on the plus side it means astarion can usually rifle through their belongings and pocket whatever he likes bc they probably wont notice)

astarion: i need blood, but which of my companions to try and drink from? the tabaxi seems to sleep deeply, and hell if cazador's compulsions are still in effect maybe itll be easier to drink from a cat-person

astarion 5 mins later: ptah! ptah!! hair in my mouf

tav's fine with kissing, but they prefer to show affection through kneading, grooming (though they know their companions arent keen on getting clawed or licked) or rubbing their cheek against peoples armor (to scent it, like "yeah these are my people i hang out with :3")

when astarion breaks down crying after killing cazador, or shadowheart's wound is causing her pain, or karlach is distraught over her impending fate, tav will hurry over and rub their cheek against their friends shoulder, purring as hard as they can to try and soothe them 🥺

[snow-143]

Water Coloured Tears | Jeon Jungkook

three- drunken rambles (0.5k words)

Jungkook’s pov:

7am. Soft light is shining through my curtains, blinding my dry eyes a little. God, what did I do last night? Searching for my phone, I'm a little shocked when I find it still open. On a call with...

with y/n? The fuck? 

Well this is far worse than anything else I was thinking. Great job Kook. So much for keeping your distance. Who am I kidding, that plan was catapulted out of the window when Miss fuckface paired us together.

Sighing I unlock my phone, hoping whatever I find on there will enlighten me on my thought process. 

And what do you know, it opens right into my notes app, with a lengthy paragraph. This should be good. 

It takes me a little longer than I'd like to admit to be able to understand the words I had written down. My drunken rambles and the current state of my vision don't seem to mix well. Who would've thought?

-I asaw her today agsim. MY chets hurt. She didnt seem happy to see me :( I was a meanie. She so prety when she mad tho. Wantd to squish her cheks. But noooo av got to be an IDIOT! Kookie IK your reeding this. YOURE AN IDIOT. shld i text her? i should. im smart unlik you!

shes not replyng. Does she hate me? I'm sorry :( it just hurts to see you love. i wish i cud tell you al of this. but itll hrt you even more. i dont wanna hurt u. i dont wana hurt. i sould call her? shes saw? seen? idk but she red the mesage. im gonna call her.

SHE ANSERED! kook she answerd we were scared for nothing. her voive so prety. I missed her voice. I miss her.

JEOM JUNGKOOK YOU BETTR NOT FORGER TO MEEET HER. CAFE 2PM. DOT BE PUSSY.

so stupid. gonna apolisse. shes so quite.

she said irs okay :( ts not okay. i know its not. was noce to hear tho. its okay :)

m so sleepy. so noce to talk again tho nixkxk njuhi-

Well that was a hard read. 

She stayed on the call after I fell asleep? Sighing I roll over and try and get some more sleep. Not hanging up the call. 

----------------

12pm. Safe to say my attempt to sleep off my hangover didn't work. Unless you count me lying in bed listening to her soft breaths until my phone died. Best part is I was about to finally pass out right when I realised her little sighs had been cut off. 

That was 9am. Three hours ago. Three whole hours of me stressing out about what I'm meant to do. 

I could just not show up and say I didn't remember, even I know that's too far. I'll have to face her eventually anyway. She probably won't even show up. Right? Right. It'll be fine. I'll go just in case. 

It's okay. The words do laps around my head the whole time I'm waiting for her. Yes waiting. I showed up an hour early. Like some over exited loser.

I wonder how she said it. Was she being genuine? Was it half hearted words fuelled by pity?

That's something I may never know, but right now I know that she's walking directly towards me. Shit. Shit. SHIT.

prev | m.list | next

////////////////

a/n: stressed asf lately so bare with me guys 🙏

[lorillee]

ok finished kiwami 1. had to do something for a bit but time for loose thoughts

i know i said it before but like actually insane imagining this as somebodys first yakuza game like before i started i was looking up on reddit peoples recommended playing order and i thought it was weird they were all saying you should play y0 first because i knew y0 was released later but like no theyre absolutely correct.

kiwami 1 throws so much at you all at once and doesnt really spend the time to build up a lot of the characters or their relationships and how they know each other and so like this story flows a lot better coming in with the knowledge that comes from y0 but if i didnt have that its like. Well that was a lot.

also with the additional context from kiwami 1 i think some of the stuff that i felt was a bit of a loose thread or didnt really seem like it went anywhere wrt the plotline for y0 feels a lot more complete now. theyre kind of like two halves of a whole and one without the other kind of leaves you hanging <- and for this exact reason im soooo so excited to replay y0 at some point. Itll happen. TRUST

ok lets take a brief sabbatical to talk about gameplay and other non-plot related things

to be honest i feel like the combat was more challenging in kiwami than in y0 and some of the fights rlly kicked my butt. but definitely like the worst was the one on the rooftop after reina gets shot like omg that one was actually like kind of dreadful

a SIGNIFICANTLY smaller amount of quicktime events in this game but honestly i feel like i got pretty good at the quicktime events i miss them

every time i walked past maharaja's corpse i felt a part of my soul die

to be so honest i liked the y0 renditions of the karaoke songs better........................... that being said im never getting over how they changed the baka mitai mv picture to FIGHTER?????? too funny. actually too funny.

absolutely and entirely fascinated by majimas role in this game. which is mostly just to show up and be a menace and occasionally sprinkle in a bit of his lore before bouncing right back to the usual brand of insanity. im honestly still thinking about that scene at shangri-la where he turns that girl loose and pats her on the back

i miss fighting in majimas slugger style so bad you actually dont know. it breaks my heart.

ok plot time.

something that im starting to realize is i cant really approach the yakuza games with the expectation of a more traditional story. like one of my mild frustrations with kiryu's story in y0 was that it kind of just felt like a string of events occurring, particularly in comparison to majima's storyline which felt generally a lot more like. im trying to find the words but the only thing i can come up with is tightly wound. i dont know if that makes any sense but this isnt an essay this is my personal feelings so im not going to bother explaining any more than that.

anyways kiwami 1 felt a lot closer to kiryu's y0 story and this lack of . i dont want to say cohesion because its still a cohesive story but the lack of whatever it is is almost definitely the point - like kiryu's plots feel less like a story and more a portrayal of life. where not everything wraps back around in the cleanest way and it kind of is just a string of events that builds off itself and sometimes the conclusion it finds itself in is soul destroying and the ending of everything youve ever known and sometimes its the beginning of something new. anwyays its really fun i love it

haruka i would die for?

also can we stop killing our beautiful women

whatever though the men die too so i guess its equality

actually im kind of devastated that kazuma is dead not because i like super like him or anything but im actually fascinated by him like you know how entomologists pin dead butterflies up on displays or whatever. Yeah kind of like that. really really interesting character particularly the dichotomy of who he was vs kiryus opinion of him like I WANT TO KNOW MOREEEEE but also to some degree hes one of those characters thats more fun hearing about them 2nd or 3rd hand and piecing together a picture based on a thousand different impressions with not a clue of whats actually going on inside his head at any given moment

really and truly though im very im soooo excited to see where haruka's story is going in the future like kind of obsessed with how quick she is. like because in the scene where the cop stops her and kiryu the dialogue options are to claim to be her father or run and i chose to run because i was like ok if i made kiryu claim to be her father shes like 7 shes proabbly going to go "Huh? no youre not" but she took care of the situation not only by lying on the spot but making it convincing after kiryu epicly fumbles the getaway attempt. like i am soooo im so excited to hang out with her more

im not worlds biggest nishiki stan so honestly i dont have all that much to say on his front but i did really like his story and i wish he was given more of a direct focus/role in the climax as opposed to just showing up at the end. im also kind of disappointed they gave him a sister and then never let us see her or their dynamic or get to know literally anything going on with that other than the fact that she was nebulously terminally ill and now dead. SIGH

i want to get sss rank for majima everywhere but i want to play the next game SOOOOO BADDDD because i think majima gets a more active role in the story and Well hes my babygirl..........

anwyays good game much enjoyed

[akaakeis]

oh nooooo i tripped and fell for u into ur ask box

eating ny ice cream rn ;; strawberry is such a weird flavour like if i had to choose and get one i would not get strawberry but if irs rhere at home im finishinf ALL of it

ALSO, DRAWING ON PEOPLE'S HANDS 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

anyways about the iwa smau!!! genuinely have no motivation rn #tweaks BUT i would like to say that the yn is shamelessly based off me like i have consumed acrylic paint on multiple occasions (today) (with ice cream)

ILYT!!!!! IM WRITING THIS RN SO I CANT RESPOND (CRIES)

lost a mark in my chem test today im tweaking

BUT THE FREAKY ENGLISH TEACHER SAID IM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND DOING GOOD AND AN ATTENTIVE STUDENT AND LIKR????????? ERMMMM SHES INSANE BUT FHE ACADEMIC VALIDATION GOES SOOO HARD

also like lowkey icl i was hanging around ur blog again rn and thats why i decided to send an ask !! ur blog is so pretty rrrrr

I ALSO BASICALLY JUST PEAKED IN HS CUZ THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNISED ME AND GAVE ME A BOOK RECOMMENDATION AND LET ME TAKE IT EVEN THOUGH IT DIDN'T HAVE THE PROPER STUFF TO BE FILED AS BORROWED (like each book has a code and this one didnt and she STILL gave it to me) SO LIKE BASICALLY SHE TRUSTS ME BC IVE BEEN OVER HERE FOR LIKE A YESR AT LEADT TAKING A BOOK THEN COMING BACK 1-2 DAYS LATER CUZ I FINISHED IT LOLOLS

also about OUR iwa fic i was js thinking like,, fake dating this dumbass b word ushiwaka and hes like ?? why me ??? "ur names rhyme kind of" ?? wth ??

lowkey think im immune to anything thats in acrylic paint now bc i have Eaten So Much Of It

anyways the book is lowkey good i havent finished it YET but irs called the girl on the train and like woahhhhhh smth like that at our super conservative school is iNsane

i hope u feel better soon!!! if u dont ill fly over and idk. magic

i have a maths test tmr rjejsjskssk the topic is fun but I Don't Know what if i Fail

OSHIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOCK IN AND DO HW OOPS ERM HRU TELL ME AB UR DAY ETC ETC and also any sav x yaku tidbits youd like to drop <- forgot the ship name AND AND AND THE ANONS THINF IS SO REAK KMFG

ok byebye ily xx

ah thats a shame 😞😞 hope your knee or whatever u banged on the way in heals up well lina 😞

yum yum yum ice cream!! i hope ur enjoying it!! also thats so real i feel like strawberry ice cream is just an odd flavor... but true that i always eat the strawberry ice cream in the freezer just to spite my other roommate (with love!!!) LMAO

also real 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i adore when people draw on me or let me draw on them it js makes me so happy <3

DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO WORK ON IT!! BE SPORADIC!! DO IT WHENEVER YOU GET IDEAS!!! WE WILL STICK AROUND TO READ WHENEVER U DECIDE TO WRITE

NOOO NOT THE CHEM TEST IM SORRY LINA :((( ITLL ALL WORK OUT THO

NOT THE ENGLISH TEACHER. IM SORRY SHES MY OPP FROM WHAT IVE HEARD ABOUT HER SHES FREAKY I FEAR. BUT FOR THE ACADEMIC VALIDATION I SUPPOSE I GET IT...

HELP i didnt ever realize how much time you spent on my blog like genuinely 😭 BUT THANK YOU SM!! im super proud of this theme even tho its not the most intricate <3

WOOOW THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNIZED YOU AND TRUSTED YOU W AN UNFILED BOOK??? i aspire to be you but i never step foot into my school library i much prefer my public library... there's sm more books that i read there!!! BUT THATS GENUINELY SO COOL WTF

bro that fic will genuinely be so funny 😭 like the quote we were yapping ab earlier "ushijima?? the hell?? you don't even go to the same school as him?? 😨" iwa would be more confused than anything at first AND I THINK THATS HILARIOUS!! and pls ushijima just AGREEING hes a closeted himbo i swear i swear i swear

alina im genuinely concerned over the fact that you CONSUME acrylic paint? but whatever? i guess? please dont eat too much that's definitely not meant to be consumed 🧍‍♀️

im gonna add that book to my tbr list!! i read the synopsis and it sounds pretty good tbh

THANK YOU!! my roomie is taking care of me so i'll probably be fine within the next few days 🙂‍↕️

AND GOOD LUCK!! im sure you'll do amazing dont even play w me rn alina YOU WILL DO SO SO SO WELL YOU LITTLE MATH NERD (affectionate)

OH YEAH GO DO HOMEWORK WTF 😭 IM GOOD! I FEEL BETTER TODAY <3 IVE BEEN IN BED SINCE I WOKE UP SO THERE ISNT MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT BUT UHHHH LAST NIGHT I WATCHED HOWLS MOVING CASTLE WITH MY ROOMMATE!! SAV X YAKU IS SAVORI!!! COURTESY OF BAKERY ANON MY LOVE 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ UMM I DONT HAVE TIDBITS RN BUT ILL DM YOU WITH RANDOM ONES SOMETIME DURING THE DAY TRUST!!

bye bye!! ily ily <3

[hauntedotherworld]

i cant take it anymore. its too painful and i have nothing but suffering thats all i feel and its always been hopeless

i have NOTHING, no one at all to live for .. the one i lost i dont even .. i dont even know if i want her back, although i know we will never meet or talk ever agaib. its already been years. its hard when the person is your fp or.. ex fp.. the feelings that are overwhelming stay but at the same time i have so much anger and despair for what she did. i wish it never happened i had no control over it and i hate it, i HATE HER . SHES THE WORST and never cared like i did, even though we had such a strong bond.. to her it was normal friendship which by the end disapeared.. not for me. because my fucking fucked up head isnt like everyone elses and so im left all alome all i have is suffering, nothing will ever be good enough anymore. i doubt i could even feel that ever again.. i hate her too. i wish i never met her, because otherwise atleast i couldve not known what that felt like. to have an fp. someone who is the entire world for me and i couldnt do shit about it . all i can think of is memories and mourn it . but i also hate her and in one way do not care or wish to EVER meet her again- which again will never happen anyway.. i just feel so fucking empty and have forever but it gets worse the older i get. i cant feel ANYTHING FOR LIFE let alone others now. im living for no reason at all. every part of the day is just empty, void depression and deep bored and loneliness. nothing and no one can fill that anymire either, i knew that when i had gone to college (for a few months until i dropped out and left those great friends id made) because it didnt make me feel ok and i couldnt handle it , i left as always. so i never have anybody. and when i try and form a conmection with stra gers , just to feel sometthing - i feel absolutely nothing at all . nothing now. all i do id hate myself and stuck in my head.

i never want a family i dont care about love anymore or anything and all i feel is that deep empty, despairing feeling and its unBEARABLE .. every fucking day. all i can do is repeat that in my mind and breakdown because what else am i able to do except die? but aside from my anxiety about that, even dying doesnt sound good anymore.. because what will happen? i feel i wont go to heaven because i quit church because of the horrible _thing there. i dont really care abput anything.. except my dog but that isnt enough to make me able to get through when everythings missing and IT ALWAYS WILL BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. HAVE THIS MENTAL ILLNESS, BPD, AND MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH ANXIETY AND OTHER SHIT THAT RUINED EVERYTHING. ive tried SO hard. so fuckinh hard everyday its torture it always has been but its gotten worse to the point i can hardly think i just feel like an empty shell and the pain is like nothing else. i dont know whatll happen if i die, but whatever happens it should be better than this.. if not, i cant escape it itll come on its own if i dont. so i should just do it. no one cares anyway and i dont either

im just so heartbroken and what i fucking had to be and what my life hd to be. its not fair and nobody except others like me know what this is like.

i cant do it guys its harder and harder and i cant carry on i swear to god

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[blueberry-mufffinz]

ROBLOX OCS

Okay Actually Wait Before I COntinue Okay So I Like. For One Dont Think Too Hard About The World Around Them Bc I Know Its Roblox But Also Me N My Friend Just Made Shit Up On The Spot Second I Really Like These Guys But Idk If Theyre Like. Cringe Or Whatever So Uh. If They Are Block Me Or Smthn I Guess Sorry Man Anyways This Bouta Be A Long Ass Post So Literally Everything Undercut

GITE

Okay So. Gite, Along With Their Counterpart Who I'll Take About Later, Originally Was Just. An Outfit I Made Using A Bunch Of Items I Had On Hand. Then My Friend Had Me Turn Them Into An OC Which Is Actually What Started This Entire Thing And Goodness Gracious Do I Have A Lot Of Little Guys Now>

Notes

Maasssivee Fucking Yapper. Does Not Stop Yapping Worlds Biggest Yapper

Theyre Very Headstrong And Also A Littleee Tiny Bit Obnoxious Man Oh Man I Sure Do Wonder Why(Yapper)

Gite Plays Whatever (Roblox)Games Reck Plays, Originally Played Obbies

Poor Understanding Of Personal Space, Also Thinks Reck Should Be More Friendly And Talk To People

Uses Sarcasm Somewhat Often But It Always Sounds Friendly Or Passive Aggressive

Cannot Fly With Their Wings

This Guy Dont Rlly Got Much Lore So I Wont Like Make A Dedicated Lore Second For Him But, Okay This Is Where The Like Worldbuilding Gets Confusing But Bare With Me Here Okay, Gite And Reck Are Counterparts Because They Were Like. Spawned(??) At The Same Time In Cribs Next To Each Other. As Those Little. Pill Baby Things Life In Paradise Style Yeah

-----------------------------

RECK

Same Thing With Gite Reck Was Originally An Outfit Then Turned Into An OC I Honestly Dont Rlly Like His Wings But Aint No Way Im Buying New Ones When I. Actually Buy The Outfit Because Genuinely I Only Own Gite's Outfit Out Of All These OCs

Notes

Far More Introverted(???) Than Gite, Doesnt Yap Nearly As Much More Of A Listener

Pretty Calm And Chill Guy Honestly, Just Vibin'

Listens To Music Literally Whenever Possible, I Would Say 24/7 But Not 24/7 Because Gite Exists

Plays A Lot Of Tycoons Usually, But Also Sometimes Jumps Around To Try And Avoid Gite(Gite Keeps Finding Them)

Also I Think Reck Has That Retail Worker Tiredness Like In General I Think Reck Works Retail

Thinks Gite Needs To Back The Fuck Off And Learn Some Personal Space

Very Firm With Their Boundries. If Theyre Unhappy Or Uncomfortable With The Things Youre Doing Theyll Let You Know.

CAN Fly With Their Wings

Gite&Reck Notes

There's Some Notes That Apply To Both Of Them So Like-

Gite And Reck Like. Dont Like Each Other. They Dont Hate Each Other But They Sure As Hell Dont Like Each Other

Theyve Never Said They Hated Each Other But Sometimes They Call Each Other Annoying

I Think Maybe Perhaps I Havent Decided Honestly That They Become Lovers At. Some Point I Dont Know When

-----------------------------

DRAGON LOSER/FLORAL

Okay YEAH I Know Her Name Is A Little Mean But Like. For Context Some Of These Guys Get Names Based On Experience And Like. Itll Make Sense Soon I Swear

Notes

Plays A TON Of Dragon Games, Primarily Dragons Life And Dragon Adventures

Floral Is More Like Their "Roleplay" Name So Technically Her Name Is Really Just Dragon Loser, DL For Short Btw, But Dont Worry About It

They Have A Minor Liking For Fishes, But Its Mostly Dragons(But If Something Is Like- A Fantasy Sea Dragon She Goes CRAZY Over That Stuff)

She Incredibly Friendly And Will Just Walk Up To People And Start Talking Which is Probably Why She Thrives In RP Games So Much

Her Name Doesnt Effect Her In The Slightest

Can In Fact See Despite Their Eyes Not Being Visible

The Paint Is Actually Because Their Head Is Constantly Spewing Paint And Its Actually The Reason They Have A Hat On But Yeah Wiping It Away Wont Help With Anything

Chains Are Purely Aesthetic

-----------------------------

SOUL WANDER

This Guy I Made Like Purely As A Rival Of Some Form For My Friend's OC, Who Ill Be Calling F Because Yeah Also Im Shortening SOUL WANDER(yes its capitalized like that every time)'s Name To SW Because There Is No Way Im Typing That Every Single Time

Notes

Mysterious Guy, Fairly Quiet And Speaks In Vague Terms. Sometimes Riddles If He Feels Like It

Also He's A Little Smug

Ghostwalker(yes the SFOTH sword) Fanboy If You Couldnt Tell By The Shirt

Fucking HATES F, Like Knife Through A Picture Of Him On A Wall Type Of Hate. Does Not Like That Guy In The Slightest

Drops The Whole Vague Thing When Talking To F For Reasons I Genuinely Have Not Figured Out

Lives Alone And Also Doesnt Friends

And He's Also Poor Barely Paying For His Apartment And Food(I Dont Even Know How He's Making Money Honestly)

Like Genuinely Sleeps In A Corner With A Single Blanket Like I Feel Kinda Bad And He's My OC

Literally He Doesnt Even Care Either We Love Poor Self Preservation/j

Practically Half-Blind Pretty Much Also Taking Off Those Bandages WILL Flashbang Him He's Had Them On For So Long

The Face Shadow Thing Is Some He Can Do Entirely At Will

Used To Own A Cat

Ngl I Forgot To Write This But He Plays SFOTH Primarily And. Yeah Thats It Honestly

Lore

Look At That First Guy To Have Actual Thought Out Lore Lets Go Wahoo When SW Was Younger He'd Participate In Like Illegal Fighting Rings Or Whatever To Make Money. Nobody Is Supposed To Die But He Accidentally Kill A Person(Who Is An OC Ill Talk About Later) Once Near When He Started Because He Went To Into A Blind Panic And Punched Them To Death. Uh. Somebody(Also An OC Ill Talk ABout Later) Close To This Person Took Revenge Against SW And Brought A Knife Into The Fight In A Attempt To Blind SW, It??? Half-Worked Because The Sight In His Covered Eye Is Really Blurry(Eye Wasnt Punctured Fully But Got Damaged). This Situation Is Also Indirectly The Cause Of The Whole Vague Thing He Does, Because The Person Who Almost Blinded Him Is Tracking Him Down And Trying To Get Information On Him And SW KNOWS That So He Speaks Very Vague Because He's Paranoid As Fuck. ALSO! He Used To Own A White Cat He Named Spirit But F Stole Spirit When He Was Drunk And Then Kept Her So Now SW Thinks Spirit Is Dead But Actually F Has Her And Renamed Her Sparkle. SW Feels Really Bad For Failing To Care For Spirit, Used To Sacrifice Eating To Feed Her. Anyways Somewhere At Some Point In The Future SW Finally Gets Tracked Down, Cause Its Guarenteed To Happen At Some Point, And Gets Like Entirely Blinded I Drew Art Of Him Actually Ill Put All The Art Of These Guys At The End I Swear Anyways Yeah Gets Fully Blinded And Also One Of His Head Wings Gets Chopped To A Nub Also He Cant Do Whatever The Hell He Was Doing To Make Money Anymore So He's Homeless Again(Forgot To Mention He Was Homeless When Younger) But Its. Significantly More Difficult Now That He's Blind. And Also The Paranoia Is Still There Because He Literally Cant See And Also He Goes Entirely Silent Stops Speaking Completely GOODNESS I YAPPED SORRY!!!

-----------------------------

CAUTION: HAZARD

This Is The Guy Responsible For Almost Blinding, Eventually Fully Blinding, SW. Im Callin Him C:H For Short Because Again Im Not Typing All That Shit Out. I Dont Actually Have A Lot On This Guy or His Brother So Hopefully This Is Shorter Than SW's Section

Notes

Him And His Brother Are Aggressive In Nature, Hence The Whole Caution Thing

Barbarically Aggressive

Played Like. A Bunch A Ro:Bio N Shit With His Brother

Lore

C:H Watched SW Kill His Brother In The Fighting Ring, Overheard SW Talking About How He Went Into A Blind Panic And Decided "Why Dont I Make Him Actually Blind" So Uh. Yeah. His Plan Is To Catch SW Off-Guard In An Isolated Area Which Is Difficult Because Of SW's Paranoia. Has Sent People To Try And Get Information From SW Or Get Close To SW, So SW's Still Persistent Paranoia Is Valid

-----------------------------

CAUTION: RADIATION

This Is The Guy That SW Accidentally Killed. Callin Him C:R Because Long Ass Name. He's Not A Ghost Or Anythin Btw But If He Was He'd Be Actively Cheering C:H On Also Dont Have Much Information With This Guy Sorry

Notes

Yeah He Played Ro:Bio With C:H

And Again Yeah Naturally Aggressive

C:R Is More Sinsterly Aggressive If That Makes Sense

The Toxic Waste On His Head IS Apart Of Him The Barrel Is Not, Barrel For Aesthetic

Toxic Fumes Naturally Eminate From His Mouth, It Doesnt Smell Like Anything But Again It Is Toxic So Mask Holds Filters It Out

He's Immune To It Though So Its Okay

Lore

Not Much Lore Honestly But Basically Like. What Happened Is He Got Punched In The Gut Rlly Hard Which Winded Him Or Whatever Like Out Of Breath And Then Punched In The Jaw So Broken Jaw And Then SW Just Kept Punching Him Til He Died He Did Not Expect, What Percieved As, The Dumb Scared Kid To Straight Up Kill Him

-----------------------------

ABNORMALITY/MORPHO

Okay Last One I Swear Anyways Morpho Here Is Based Of Abnormality Dancin' Girl. I Was Listening To The Song And I Had A Vision™ And Went On A Spree Making Them

Notes

Okay To Start, I Will Be Using They/Them For Them Because Theyre Good With They/Them Pronouns Yes Thats Fine But Internally They Naturally Refer To Themself With It/Its For Lore Reasons

MASSIVE People Pleaser Like REALLY REALLY Big People Pleaser Its Genuinely Detrimental To Their Mental Health

Also A Social Chameleon To The Extreme, Changes Their Personality The Way They Talk And They Way They Dress Just To Fit In With The People Theyre Talking To

Used To Play A Lot Of Simulators And Tower Defense Games. Especially Tower Defense They Were Pretty Good At Those

Lore

Morpho Doesnt Really Know Who They Are Anymore. Theyve Been Changing And People Pleasing For So Long That They Dont Even Know If Theyre A Person, Thinking Of Themself As More Of An Object On On A Stage All Of This Changing Is Literally Like Physically Tearing Them Apart The Switching And Trying To Be Someone Thats A Them They Dont Know Is Physically Destroying Them They Cant Stop Though, Theyre So Tired And Nothing Feels Good Anymore But They Just Cant Stop. Theyre A Ticking Time Bomb Waiting To Die, Waiting To Scatter Into Thousands Of Blue Butterflies Even Then Their Efforts Will End Up For Nothing. The More They Switch And People Please The More They Fall Apart, And The More They Fall Apart The More People Leave, Which Then Causes Them To Change And People Please Even More And Try Even Harder Which Makes Them Fall Apart More And Its Just A Downwards Spiral Speeding Towards Their Death. Uhh. All Of This Started From A Person(I Might Leave This Person Unknown), Who They Were Really Really Close To And Told Everything To, Ghosting Them Suddenly And Leaving Them For Someone Else

-----------------------------

Art Time Yippe Hoorayy

This Is Gonna Go In Order, Also As A Note I Have Not Drawn DL, C:H, C:R, OR Morpho Yet. I Will Ebventually Just. Later.

This Next One W/ Gite And Reck Is Like A Comic Sortve I Made It Rlly Late At Night And Its A Situation That Will Happen At. Some Point Idk When. Dialogue Is Messy im Bad At Dialogue.

I Love Making Angst Of My OCs :)) Anyways Gite Yapping

I Cant Believe I Forgot To Put This Ill Just Put It Here But Reck Does Not Listen To A Word Gite Says A Majority of The Time. Gite Can Say The Most Out Of Pocket Shit Ever And Reck Will Go "Uh Huh Yeah" And Reck Wont Even Notice Until Gite Points It Out

Anyways SW Art Yayayay

Silly Little Video Of What Happened Heehoo Also Last Frame PNG Bc Yeah

Also Here's That Blinded SW Drawing I Promised

Okay Sorry For Yapping Those R All My Guys Wahoo

[rippeds0cks]

3/4/2024

I have been weird lately. Some days ill be doing great then other days ill be as worse as ive ever been. These last couple days have been bad. Ive been so bad mentally that ive had to stop whatever im doing (eating, watching a movie, working out, playing elden ring) and just sit there and stare off into nothing. I zoned out entirely when i was driving yesterday. Ended up going 75 in a 45 and had to rush a break when i zoned back in so i didnt slam into the back of the car in front of me. Cant have that become a habit since im gonna be driving a lot soon. Buying a gun soon. Not for suicide or anything i need it for bears n such since im gonna be camping in the middle of national parks a lot. I havent slept well in weeks. Every night for the last couple nights ive been as close to tears as ive been in recent memory. I get really emotional laying here n my right eye will be teary but my left eye will not. I wonder if my tear duct is damaged in any kinda way since thats the side closest to my head injury. It shouldnt be since thats my better eye. Back when i got a cut on my left eyelid i was essentially blind for those couple days it took for the swelling to go down since my right eye is essentially useless. That reminds me, my dad is slowly catching onto how bad my health is. He made the observation “you might have something wrong with your depth perception cause you get really close to the cars in front of you when you drive” and i just went “haha yeah” when in reality my depth perception mostly went when i was like a very early 19 and i just got used to it. Fighting made me able to “feel” the distance between me and everything around me but that goes out the window when im operating a machine like a car. Ill get used to it i guess. Maybe start wearing my glasses.

I think that on this trip ill make the decision about reaching out to my ex. I think that if i get all the way to vegas and still think about her ill reach out for closure. Thatll be a while tho. Maybe well over a year. I dont know. Ive just completely given up any delusion of her contacting me. If contact is to be made itll be made by me. I just cant stop thinking about her and its already ridiculous so if it continues for so long that by the time i get to vegas i might as well reach out. Worst comes to worst and she loses her mind/gets a restraining order n i cant firefight anymore i can just kill myself its not a big deal. I just cant keep harboring these emotions forever. I already dont wanna harbor em im just too scared to reach out. It doesnt help that me n benj (mostly benj) bring up our exes a lot so i have to think about her. He says shit sometimes that unlocks memories i didnt know i had and it will make my ass catatonic for the day.

Like once i had a ptsd attack while asleep and i jolted awake and we were napping together and i woke up to her laying on me pulling me as close as possible and it brought my heart rate down and mental state down entirely, i was able to relax and calm down just cause she was there. She probably doesnt remember it since when i jolted awake she was mostly still asleep, just doing a slurred half awake “do u have to pee” to which i just said no n we both went back to bed.

I waa gonna type out another memory thats been replaying in my head where she lays with me as i was having full body convulsions and i was in some of the most pain i have ever been in. Rubbing my back and holding my hand. I was gonna type it all out in detail but im already shaking and crying out of one eye lol. No snot or anything tho so i dont know if this qualifies as crying.

Anyways i would give anything to be able to experience that again. The first and only person to ever love me and things went so horribly wrong. Both of our faults. I take the vast majority of the blame though. She takes the blame towards the end but the rest of it is my fault.

Anyways

[lunar-fey]

vent or whatever.

when y. when you dont get to eat dinner bc youre broke bc youre disabled and cant hold a job and your parents buy your food but they dont believe in things like "digestive disorders" or "dietary needs" so they basically tell you to either eat something that will make you sick or not eat at all bc they cant go to 3 different places to pick up food and skerples already cant eat the food everyone else eats (autism). and then they get mad at YOU when youre like okay. guess i will not eat then. because they are like ogh youre just being mean because you hate me stip trying to be special and eat it even though it makes you sick like the rest of us >:( like SORRY id rather not eat at all than eat something that will make me throw up. (me and dad have had extended arguments over this. he truly cannot understand this concept and thinks that everyone should eat things that they hate or that make them sick because its food and no one should ever be allowed to like. customize their food or get something else))

they did get me like some potatoes but 1. its like. 3 bites worth (none of us knew it would be that small) and it also tastes awful (i really didnt want to get anything but again they got really pissed at me for saying i just wouldnt eat then (not even like. in a passive agressive way i was just like. uhhh well i think im too sick to eat any of this. itll be fine) and looked like they were gonna cry about me not getting food. like idk but if you care that much about me eating then maybe stop picking the same 2 fast food places that you KNOW and have known for years that i cant eat at. maybe then you wouldnt have to feel bad or whatever. or maybe the real issue is just that you WANT to feel wronged by me + a refusal to accept that people can be sick for their whole lives bc you have been sick for your whole life but refuse to accept it. mom literally cant work and is on ssi bc of her disabilities but also disabilities arent real and no on has them and everyone can just try hard enough to overcome their symptoms. except her of course, because shes your wife. but fuck those kids tho. no matter how old they get they are still too young to have any type of medical problem, because kids are immune to medical problems and adults can simply will them away.)

anyway this time it was taco bell but also just because i want to get this off my chest too im adding it. normally they get like burgers and i can only tolerate mcdonalds burgers and bk to an extent (as far as wjats availble here. i knos everyone hates mcd burgers but they dont upset my stomach like everything else. idk why. they dont taste like a burger but whatever they do taste like is good to me. mostly i think they just taste like salt) and the sheer RAGE dad flies into every SINGLE time he asks what i want and i say i want a cheeseburger with no mustard. he LOOSES HIS SHIT. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE YELLS AT ME FOR IT. im like sorry man but if its got mustard im not gonna eat it. its disgusting. i dont want you to waste money on food im not going to eat. and he gets SO MAD. he doesnt WANT to save money; he wants me to be the perfect little military brat he tried to raise me as who never speaks unless spoken to or asks questions and does as hes told and eats disgusting slop and vomits and says thank you sir. can i please have more sir. and it AINT ME.

anyway if you wanted to know why im bad at starting conversations and you read this far uh. now you know. the ability to speak to someone else first got beaten out of me its not even anxiety i get so scared of getting introuble for starting a conversation that i black out and forget every single interest ive ever had. BUT if someone else starts for me im okay <3

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

A Bad Feeling Pt 1

Levi x Reader

Part 1

Paring: Levi Ackerman x Cadet reader

Warnings: 18+ attempted rape/assault, cursing, mention of injury, violence

Summary: Reader feels uncomfortable around a overly friendly captain. Are they just over reacting? Or is there something else going on. What will Levi do when he finds out?

***************************************************

A.n. ok so I literally wrote this in one go, it's probably trash but I wanted to post it anyway. Please lemme know what you think in the comments! Thank you!

"Y/n! captain Oro is asking for you" you did your best to hide the discomfort Armins words made you feel.

You smiled what you hoped was a convincing one and nodded. With a deep breath you made your way to Captains Oro's office.

Ever since you had been introduced to him those few weeks ago, he had taken a special liking to you. At first you had been excited, having such a highly skilled and well known captain take notice of you was one of the best feelings. Especially since your squad leader, Levi wasn't exactly heavy on praise.

Everyone loved Captain Oro, he was known for his strength and stamina on the battle field. He was both charismatic, and charming. Your fellow cadets practically swooned over him. You couldn't help but also get caught up in his perfection. At first that is..

Over time you noticed things about your meetings that put you on edge. An unnecessary shoulder touch here, a too low pat on the back there. Something was off. And although you had done your best to distance yourself from him, it was hard when your squads often had to work together.

But it was hard to say anything against him because even your cold blooded captain seemed to enjoy his presence.

Once you brought it up to your friend Sasha, about how you felt he was being too friendly. But she waved her hand and basically said you were worrying for nothing, he was just a friendly guy. And you were being dramatic.

Maybe you were overreacting? If captain levi approved of him, surely that meant he was a decent person right? Maybe he was just being really really friendly.

You decided to give him a chance and knocked on his door when you finally arrived.

"Come in" a muffled voice came from the other side.

With a click you entered the candlelit room. It was nearing sundown after all.

"Ah cadet y/n! Perfect, I was wondering if I might ask your opinion on something?" He smiled angelically and gestured towards a parchment on his desk.

"Of course sir" you nodded and approached him, reminding yourself of what sasha said. Just relax.

From the way the parchment was positioned you had no choice but to come to his side of the desk.

"Do you see this area here?" He gestured to what you now saw was a map. "What do you think of leading a squad through here instead of what we originally planned?"

The next 30 minutes you spent completely and professionally discussing strategies. Being the member of your squad that was best at this, made him asking for you completely justified. You felt bad for ever doubting his intentions.

"Thank you y/n, I think I have a better idea of what course we should pursue on our next expedition" he smiled sincerely.

"I'm glad I could be of service" you nodded and allowed a relaxed smile to pass your features. Feeling stupid you had judged him so harshly.

" If you wouldnt mind just one more thing?" You nodded as he pulled out a stack of papers.

"If you could look over this report of the last mission before I send it out? See if theres anything else to add?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to Captain" you grabbed the stack.

"And please if you can, return them to me tonight, I'll need them for the meeting bright and early"

"Yes sir, I'll finish it asap, good evening" and with that you exused yourself.

Tonight? It was already sundown. Well whatever, hes so busy he probably doesn't know what time of day it is.

You found a quiet spot amonsgt the crowds in the common room and got to work.

************************************

"Oi brat, it's passed curfew, go to your room now, we have important work tommorow" the unmistakable voice of your captain rang through the now empty hall.

You looked up in surprise and meet his usual scowl, not even realizing how late it had gotten.

"Hai, s-sorry captain, I'll go now" you gathered the report and quickly left, not wanting to receive another scolding for taking too long.

Oh crap you still had to deliever the report. Changing routes you snuck quietly down the familiar hallways. Not particularly feeling like running into Levi again. Something about him always made you act just a little dumber and it was definitely not because of your non existent crush on him...definitely not.. he was just intimidating is all.

*knock knock*

You waited patiently but there was no answer. Crap did he already go to bed? But he knew I was coming? Ugh what should I do? He needs these reports..

With a sigh you change direction again and head for his personal chambers. There was no way you were getting in trouble for not delivering these reports on time.

You smiled when you saw dim light flood from beneath the door.

Lightly you knocked, "Captain Oro, its y/n, sorry it's so late but I have the rep-" you were cut off abruptly when the door swung open and there stood Oro.

Except he looked nothing like the Oro you were used too seeing. His hair was loose from it's normal slicked back do, and the edges were dripping slightly. His shirt was loosely thrown on revealing a decent amount of skin. He must've just bathed.. you could see why the girls were so obsessed with him. He was, platonically speaking, a very gorgeous man.

You were taken aback but reminded yourself that you did knock after hours so of course he wasnt going to be all soldiered up.

"U-um s-sorry Captain, I have the reports" you averted your eyes and shoved the reports in his direction.

"Ah y/n, thank you, would you please put them on my table? My hands are still slightly wet." He laughed holding them up innocently.

"S-sure" god why were you stuttering so much, you fight goddamn titans for a living?! But somehow you were more nervous now than when a 10meter was clawing at you.

You entered the room and tried to avoid looking around too much.

You always wondered what the inside of the higher ups rooms look-

*click*

You whipped around, alarm bells suddenly back in full force.

"Captain what are you-"

"You're such a good girl, you know that y/n?" Oros whole demeanor changed and you cursed yourself for not trusting your earlier instincts.

"U-um" you really did not know what to say or do as he took a couple steps closer.

"Always so obedient for me, I think you deserve a reward don't you?"

Shit

"That's not...that's not necessary captain, I really should be going" you tried to lunge for the door but he was quicker and much much stronger.

"I don't believe I dismissed you cadet..." he purred pinning your arms to the door in the blink of an eye.

You were by no means weak, but your struggles were useless against him.

"Let me go" it took all your strength not to stutter in fear.

"How adorable, you know I love it when you follow my orders so well, but I think..." you shivered in disgust as you felt his lips near your neck and press down.

"I'd like to see you fight me as well" you whimpered as he sucked and bit down on the soft flesh.

"S-stop it, p-please" he smirked and looked into your fearful eyes with his lustful ones. "Stop? But that's not what you really want is it? You see I know exactly how girls like you are" he chuckled darkly and moved one of his hands to grip both your arms, while the other slid lower. You gasped when he cupped your breast. "S-stop! I'll, ill scream If you don't!" You felt a tear slide down your shaking form.

"Scream?" He snickered like you had told the funniest joke.

"Go ahead and scream doll, itll be very interesting to see what happens"

"W-what?" You were utterly confused.

"Think about it, if someone walks in on us, what would they think? Seeing a cadet after hours in her superiors chambers?"

"B-but I! I was bringing the reports i wasn't-!"

"Do you honestly think theyll care what you have to say? Who do you think theyll believe y/n? You a nobody cadet who's been fighting titans for 3 seconds? Or me, a selfless hero whos saved countless of scouts lives? All I have to tell them is that you came into my room and tried to seduce me. When I tried to restrain you, you screamed. Who do you think theyll listen too? Why else would you be here so late at night?"

"Y-You're..you're insane, you're not a hero, y-you're a coward who-" he grasped your jaw harshly causing you to wince.

"I'd watch that mouth of yours y/n" he squeezed harder. I am your superior after all, and we wouldnt want any nasty rumors going around that would have you suspended from the survey corps now would we?" He bent down and to your horror pressed his lips against yours.

Fuck fuck what do I do?!? Hes blackmailing me now. I cant fight him, hes too strong, think think think.

But your mind was blank when his cold lips pressed against your lips again. "Open your mouth" he ordered in a voice laced with animilistac lust.

You abruptly turned your head away desperate to get away.

"Heh, always such a tease" he traced a finger up and down your cheek, flipping over your lips. "I'll enjoy this-"

"CAPTAIN ORO, COMMANDER ERWIN REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE IN HIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY" a voice shouts from the other side of the locked door.

With an annoyed sigh, Oro pulls away slightly, "Did he say why?" He lazily looks over in the direction of the door.

"NO SIR!"

"guess it can't be helped... Alright tell him I'll be there shortly" he yelled out.

"Hai" the footsteps recended and you stood deathly still.

He pulled away from you and you immediately pulled your wrists to you, they were an angry red, and it scared you how much strength he had so effortlessly displayed.

"Sorry doll, it looks like we'll have to continue this another night" he stepped away and began dressing normally as if he hadn't just been assaulting you 5 second ago. You quickly make for the door but his voice falters your step, "Oh and y/n?"

You dont look at him, but fear held you in place until he finished, "If you mention our little moment to anyone, you know what will happen" you nodded quickly, anything to appease him and get out.

When the door shut behind you, you felt the flood of tears break through.

D-did, d-did that really happen?!?

You held a hand to quiet your sobs and quickly dashed through the hallways.

You're heart thumped and you felt the need to vomit. You hadn't felt this way since the first time youd encounted a titan. All you wanted to do was get to the safety of your room, just through the hall.

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on you when a cold voice shouted out and halted your movements. Please not now, oh god any time but now.

"Oi cadet y/n are you deaf as well as dumb? I asked you a question.

"Why are you out past curfew?" he sounded definitely annoyed and you gathered all your strength to hold the sobs out of your voice.

Without turning around you answered, "I-I had to deliver some r-reports..I'll head to my room now.." you stepped forward hoping he would let you go but you were not so lucky.

"Oi brat, did you hit your head? I didn't dismiss you yet. Not to mention you haven't even addressed me properly, maybe some time cleaning up horse shit will remind you how to respect your superiors" fuck he was definitely angry now.

Still you didn't turn around, you couldn't..."S-sorry Captain Levi, I'll do better in the future.." you barely could even focus on the words coming out of your mouth, your heart was beating a mile a minute. Please just leave me alone!

"Hahh" Levi uttered in disbelief and severe annoyance, even the most novice of cadets turn around when being spoken to by a superior. "Are you trying to piss me off brat?!?"

"No sir..." still you didnt turn around, but gulped in fear when you heard sharp footsteps near you.

"Cadet y/n, you have three seconds to turn around and salute me properly before I throw you into the cells for insubordination" he ordered in his dangerously calm voice, that you never thought would be directed at you.

Having no other choice you slowly turn around, hoping to god the darkness of the room would be enough to hide your current state.

You kept your head down, letting your hair fall over your face, but gave a proper salute. Hiding the Wince that came when the tender flesh of your wrist had to bend.

Your eyes were trained on the floor. And you tried to remember how to breathe normally again.

"At least you remember how to-" abruptly his harsh scolding stopped.

Why did he stop?! Fuck did he notice something. No no calm down, he probably just is coming up with another punishment...right?

Wrong...

Levi was far from being done with dicisplining you but he caught sight of your bruised wrist and furrowed his brows immediately. He knew for a fact the last time you spoke in the hall those had not been there. He was quick to take in the rest of your demeanor and knew immediately that the reason you were acting disrespectful was because something was wrong.

"Cadet y/n.." he said suspiciously slow and not full of anger anymore.

"Y-yes?" Please dont ask me, please dont ask me, please dont-

"Look at me"

*******************************

Part 2 here

Okay so that's part 1! Please comment and lemme know what you think🥰also I'm super sensitive so please no hateful comments. Thanks for reading!

[miiilowo]

vent to us about vanny and glitchtrap. how much do you hate them and why, here for the drama

OH GOD where do i even START ( this is said gleefully and i am rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain )

GENERALLY im not a huge fan of the newer fnaf lore. 1-3 is good purely for nostalgia purposes but generally everything pre pizzeria simulator + UCN? its decent! got some characters you can get attached to while not removing the spooky factor (SECURITY BREACH) you had the dead kids. you had the old creepy bastard getting a taste of his own medicine. a proper conclusion, even if it was the . um. third? proper conclusion in the series

i ALSO love william aftons character. hes horrendous. truly the worst. great antagonist as long as i dont look scraptrap in the...anywhere. he's always been my favorite character, and ive been into fnaf before #3 even came out so you know thats SAYING SOMETHING lmao

takes the cake as my favorite game series of all time. piqued my interest in horror. piqued my interest in art. fnaf is one of my favorite things ever in GENERAL, actually. shaped who i am today! my favorite hyperfixation then and one of my favorites now! if i never got into five nights at freddys, i wouldnt be as skilled of an artist. id have never gotten into online spaces, i wouldnt have the same interests, and id probably be an asshole all things considered. it made me happy for years and years -- i poured so much love into making content for this silly little horror game series and i genuinely wouldnt have it any other way.

anyways then glitchtrap shows up and fucks everything i like about the series

YOU HAD THE DEAD KIDS. IT MADE SENSE. THEY DIED AND POSESSED THE ANIMATRONICS. I KNOW ITS NOT THE 80S ANYMORE IN THE NEW GAMES BUT THE WHOLE DIGITAL SOUL THING OR WHATEVER HE'S GOT GOING ON THROWS A WRENCH INTO EVERYTHING THE SERIES HAS ESTABLISHED UP TO THIS POINT. IT'S NOT THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT JUST ISNT...THERE HAS BEEN NO MENTION OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS UP UNTIL THIS POINT. it'd have been more satisfying if springtrap just fucking crawled outta the rubble and then shuffled his decrepit ass at you as you played the game or something. The Adventures Of Springtrap. Springtrap visits and burns down a burger king. Springtrap smashes your head against the pavement simulator. ill take anything. anything but this. please. fuck

It genuinely just makes me kinda sad in a weird way. Whenever im catching up on lore I'll be (reluctantly) accepting new theories about whatever the hell is going on then it gets to glitchtrap and vanny and it feels like someone walked up to my soul with a vacuum and turned it on high suction. what the hell did they do to my boy

right. so we HAD possessed animatronics. we probably still do, i dont know anymore. now we have a glitchy rabbit suit that looks like it smells like piss and apparently contains a serial killers soul. awesome. okay. whatever. if i ignore it, itll be fine. he wont be that relevant, right? i wont have to think about him anymore if i try hard enough WRONG NOW WE HAVE ANOTHER RABBIT SUIT THAT LOOKS LIKE IT SMELLS LIKE PISS

vanny. vanny dearest. vanny sweetie honey pumpkin darling. i fucking hate her

first impression of her was that she looks like she was designed for rule34 artists. shes not scary. shes not intimidating. she looks like a strong breeze would knock her over because her head is ten times the size of her body. toy chica is also guilty of the r34 thing but toy chica isnt associated with glitchtrap and therefore i do not hate her out of spite

i dislike security breach as a whole because it feels like a fnaf fanfic or fan comic series youd stumble upon on deviantart. that being said, fnaf fanfics and fancomics can be really enjoyable- they just dont feel like an actual piece of fnaf content. if security breach is the fanfic, vanny is someones oc that was made because they wanted to draw horny self insert art with springtrap and was unceremoniously shoved into what couldve been an entertaining story

despite my hatred for glitchtrap, he at least kinda makes sense and at least falls in line with fnaf in terms of general vibe. i feel bad for vanny. shes an antagonist. ive never been scared of her. and i cannot stress enough that she 100% feels like she doesnt belong in fnaf. shes the first antagonist to be just Some Person (unless you count micheal in fnaf 4. i dont) and she is fucking useless LMAO she shows up for like 3 cutscenes and barely does anything despite being hyped up and shown in trailers for fucking ever

guess burntrap is also guilty of the 'being useless' thing. i am neutral toward him though. hes got cool claws

didnt even touch on the mind control manipulation thing. god. i would but i dont know enough about it to properly tear it apart and i dont want to invest energy into learning about it

[voidcat]

— fangs dipped in wine

characters: chuuya nakahara, you

info: vampire au, lowkey suggestive, 2.3k

a/n: let's all pretend for a hot second bram stoker was an actual author in bsd and that instead of abilities, there are vampires<3 I'll probably do a p2 to this in a timeskip way so itll b more fun yay,,

Several days ago, it was just an idea. A laughing matter. A ‘what-if’ to build scenarios on and giggle.

Several days ago, it was night time too, the taste of alcohol fresh, her laugh right beneath your ear, it was warm, and bubbly and there was a sense of direction, a certainty.

Several days ago your friend hadn’t suddenly announced dropping out and moving out of the shared apartment you two had yet. Maybe she had been considering for a while now but in that very moment, it hadn’t happened yet, your world wasn’t upside down.

“Just imagine!-“ her breath fawned over your ear, glasses clinking against one another. “So I’m talking to this guy, right? Like music stuff, and movies, and all. No feelings whatsoever,” you found it hard not to roll your eyes and was met with a shove. “Not like that!” she protested. “He tells me about his boyfriend, I even helped him plan a surprise party once.”

“You cannot know if he’s faking…” you remember saying, in that knowing tone, smooth like silk and lecturing. “Yea whatever. Anyways! Get this:” placing the glass down in concentration that was foreign to her, you were intrigued.

“They don’t have vampires.”

“No way.” Slowing taking another sip from your drink, it sounded like a fantasy almost. Sure, there were rumors of not every country having vampires but it was numbered, there were so little, and the vampires? They were ever present.

“So he says: ‘Hey, aren’t they all rich peeps always wanting fresh blood? What if you have lots of blood already, and make a deal? You can trick them to pay you loads for it and you’d not even have to have them near your neck!’-“ she paused to let out a bark, you’re sure she’s been doing it since she first saw the message.

“And-“ another pause, to shed a tear, “and he says, ‘and if the vampire is hot? Bonus points! They got those fancy houses, you’d no longer pay rent either.’” The mocking of the voice comes to an end. “Can you believe? A deal, with a Vampire of all people! And he says rent fixed!”

You had to admit, for someone who claims to not met any vampires, it sounded charming on paper, but in Yokahoma?, not so much. At a moment of weakness, you looked at one another, daring, and next, breaking into a fit of laughter and downing the glass in one gulp.

How many days has it been since that night? Five? Maybe seven? It was long enough to miss her presence now, but too short to be threatened by the landlord.

One night you’re at your favorite pub with your dearest friend downing drink after drink. You can remember the stars in the sky that night, you thought it was just your brain imagining it, as well as the crescent moon hanging so delicately.

And next thing you know, you’ve just left this bar, despite the temperature it was cold on your bones, and here stands the redhead, his breath fawning over your neck, mouth open, but not to tell a story for the laughs.

He didn’t bother to hide the fangs and you didn’t bother to leave the place.

An idea you called stupid few nights ago just happened to make sense in that sad sulking state. And then he had to appear, with a glass of expensive wine, locks covering his face just fine, a vest that fits his body perfectly and fangs shining under the dim lights of the bar.

“Oh-kay, that’s enough.” You push his face off with your palm in one go. The ‘thump’ of his hat falling on the floor and the yelp coming from his lips fill the air.

“You’re no fun.” he pouts as he picks up his hat.

“So, how we’re doing this? And no, you cannot drink straight from my neck!” you finish before he can raise a finger.

A moment of silence follows the two of you, it’s a nice place. Expensive looking furniture though it’s more like a house from a catalogue than a home. Still, impressive –he, ‘what was his name again?’, definitely has a taste. The empty crystal glasses sit on the table, next to the bottle, a candle close to burning out completely flickers its flame lazily as your eyes wander.

Your gaze moves onto his sapphire eyes then, watching your every move and breath carefully, but not patiently. You can hear him vibrate with every molecule in his body, trying so hard not to lunge forward or speak up, maybe grab your arm and pull you back towards his chest.

“So? Hello?..” you drag the the ‘o’ and wave a hand in front of his face, “Anyone home?”

Like someone hypnotized stepping out of a trance at a snap of fingers, he jolts, pupils narrow, then widen and focus on your face. “Ah, sorry-“ he starts walking away.

Then he fakes a cough, as if you didn’t catch him staring already… Just how the hell did you find this guy in a city filled with vampires?

He stops, turns back, reaches for your hand and you let him. “Did you drink the wine?” he walks a step ahead, still hand in hand.

“If you ask me one more time, I’ll start suspecting you added some sort of drug.” This seems to get to him, obvious from the way he almost trips on his foot and turns back in a hurry, both hands up in defense and shaking his head like crazy.

“Wh- No- No, no no! It’s nothing like that- I-“ if he didn’t look so embarrassed, you’d even say he looks flustered. His rambling stops when you snort and decide to take pity on the guy.

“Relax I was just joking.” His shoulder drop in relief. “Besides, if you put anything, it’d have kicked in by now.”

“Ah, yeah, right…” he looks down, to his right, and that’s when you see the velvet couch there. He extends his hand, in an offering manner and follows you right after.

Reaching for a pocket in his vest, he whispers to himself, you barely hear. “I just like the taste of wine in blood...”

“Weird, not what I expected, but could be worse. I’ll take it.”

Another silence follows, he avoids your gaze while your eyes never leave his eyes fumbling with his vest and cape. Maybe it’s like one of those cape like jackets, certainly matches the vibe he carries.

Under the shivering candle light, he looks so different from the bold smug suave guy who brimmed with confidence, flashed his teeth like nothing, as if the world belongs to him and anything that does not care for him simply does not exist.

And now with the same face, sits besides you someone else, eyes cast down, hands fumbling, there’s comfort in knowing this is as awkward for you as for him.

(You wonder for a second if there’s something you can do to clear the atmosphere.)

“Maybe you should be having another glass instead of asking me.” You try to say nonchalantly and it takes him a second to get what you mean. Then he smiles, and the hint of a small giggle comes out and his body seems to calm down.

“Give me your hand.” He holds out his, the palm facing the ceiling. “Well? This is the easiest way to do it without leaving permanent marks.” He sounds irritated.

“Or noticeable.” You say and he repeats, a little impatient.

Giving him your less dominant hand, you eye the dagger for as long as you can. When the cold blade meets your palm, you can barely feel its weight.

“Okay, I’ll be honest here.” He stops midway, the dagger in the air. You raise an eyebrow, signaling him to continue. “I’ve never done… this before.”

“So- uh- whatever’s the standart payment, or the whole, you know,” he waves the hand holding the dagger in the air “etiquette for this.” He sounds to be relaxing with each word. And with him, so do you. Then comes back that familiar confidence from the earlier, decorated with a hint of threat and a dare. “Just- Don’t ever try to scam or fool me.”

And goes away the determined face, replaced with surprise, as you start laughing loud, one hand over your stomach.

“Look, listen-“ you stop as you’ve begun. “Chuuya.” He fills the gap for you.

“Listen, Chuuya.” You test his name on your lips. “I’m a broke college student who can get kicked out of their flat any day now. Crossing a vampire is the last thing on my list, trust me.”

Eyes soften, a genuine smile blooms and the silence to follow isn’t heavy anymore.

When he slashes the dagger over your hand, it doesn’t sting. The blood soon reaches the surface, red thick liquid glistening in the candle’s flame, ‘life’ it says.

This is what they want, why they want it, drink it, kill for it.

Hidden in the blood, is life, with all it has seen and will see, warm, moving, trusting.

You watch in a daze as he brings your hand to his mouth. Cold lips make content with your skin, how cold and lifeless they feel against you, you see in clear contrast. The sinking of teeth doesn’t come, you don’t flinch. You can tell he’s making an effort not to bite too hard into your giving hand. Drinking the blood slowly, trying to contain himself from getting greedy, there’s no sound in the air except for your loud heartbeat, echoing in your ear and fastening with each move of his back.

The glimpse of a smile you catch in this scene before you tells, he can hear it too, and probably relish in it.

With each flicker of the flame, his lips start to feel warmer and soon he straightens up. Not a single speck of blood on his frame, he offers you the same smug smile from earlier.

Blood makes place for itself on his face, like roses blooming under the sun. His skin gains color, you didn’t notice just how dull and gray he was up until now. Life spreads so fast in his limbs, soon you can feel his warmth near you, in the air, in your hand, on the spot your knees touch. Once the base color is done, pink decorates his cheeks faintly, most likely an after effect of all that wine.

Maybe if he intervened his fingers with yours, it’d feel warmer, and in a weird way, safer.

Watching your eyes on him with amusement in his crystal ones, he seems to enjoy this, that is until his eyes focus on a spot of yours and cannot stop examining every other spot, every single pore, mark, hair and color you have, memories you carry.

The flicker of the light blends in, the warmth pulls the two of you in, time feels gone, like it never existed, maybe nothing every existed except for the two of you sitting before each other.

A sudden crash, from the outside and the magic is gone with a snap.

Noticing your hands, you pull it back to your chest fast.

His goes back to his head and he looks away, anther shy smile on his face.

“What- How should we proceed next?” he breaks the silence first, attempting to gather back a sense of seriousness to his voice. In a way, he should too, this is technically business, isn’t it?

Glancing at your palm, you open and close it few times. Not a speck of pain is there.

“Once every week maybe? If that’s alright. Although we may cancel few weeks, you never know what comes up last minute.”

The dagger nowhere in sight, probably returned to a pocket of his already, he looks pleased with your reply. “Sounds good to me.”

Without further ado, you get up to look for the door you first walked in.

“Wait!-“ he follows in a hurry, almost slipping, again, and trying to find something in his jacket.

Go you! For forgetting why you agreed to a vampire’s house in the first place. “Is- uh- is this alright? Or is it so little? We never discussed payment, y’know.” He holds out a lot more than you expected, but then again, vampires live for thousands of years. He must have quite the amount lying around somewhere after all.

Unsure what to do with the money he slips into your hand, you meet his eyes. “That’s… more than enough actually. Thanks.”

He rests one hand on hip, taking in your surprised face. “Don’t mention it. I’ve got plenty.” Touching your elbow lightly, he guides you to the door, dragging his feet. By the time you reach the door, he makes no move to open it, not that it was ever locked in the first place.

Turning of the knob, you take a step ahead, motions limited on both sides; dragging, waiting for something to happen, something to be said, for the air to be broken.

By the time you’re one foot outside, he clears his throat with a fake cough, covering his mouth. “Same time, same place, next week?” his gaze cast on the floor, stealing glances to see what you will do next.

You turn to him with a smile. “Works for me.” And tilt your head “but what if one of us cannot find the other?”

“Oh I’ll find you alright.” He chuckles with a grin. Truly a sight to sell the whole vampire image he got going, even if he hadn’t been one.

Feet standing next to each other, you’re out now, furrowing your eyebrows with a look of disapproval to match his grin, unimpressed.

“You sound like a creep. Don’t do it again.”

And with it, you turn your back to him, already on your way. The ginger left behind, an unfinished “okay” hanging on his lips, eyes focused on your form, swallowed by the shadows, waiting for the next night to be spent with you, already impatient.

[forgottenvalentina]

dlskjaflkjdsf omg the worst parts of each of them egg on the worst parts of e/o bc like when she was trying to be nice to them, brigit throwing it in her face instantly made valentina make a wild 180 and im guessing this made brigit feel like she was showing her true colors (which tbf she kinda ~was bc she has abt as she has crowns -- which is to say only symbolically ;D or at least if that patience is directly benefitting herslef -- she can play the long game when it comes to her schemes etc smdh) and she is selfish af so she was really doing her all to like...offer to pour their tea and then brigit said YOU DONT REALLY WANT TO POUR OUR TEA or whatever and then valentina, a grown ass adult said to the grieving child HOW DARE YOU and sent them ALL to the attic w/o supper lakjsdfkjjskdf #justicewins ok so this is ~slightly exaggerated, tho smth that simple would do it if brigit had been tasking her but!!!! even so its sadly only a slight exageration bc valentina is selfish af tbqh and empathy???? never heard of ittt

and she then felt perfectly justified in all ~her bad behaviors bc they had questioned her and justice was on her side bc she was just doing the right thing by teaching them to respect their elders!!!!! which lakjsdfkljdsf but here we are

i ~do think valentina's aware that she'd havea full on revolt on her hands from her staff/stepdaughters if she told them that she effectively meant to separate them all, so i do think she's hoping to pull a shocking surprise where their hubbies each appear on the same time and sweep them all off before they have any chance to fully process what's going on a la rodmilla selling danielle in ever after bc i have only original ideas alksjdfkljsdfjk ANYWAY ;DDD

she def knows the one that'd fight hardest is brigit like...she's almost to the point of like...can she frame her for some infraction that'll get her comfortably arrested for a couple decades???? like, she doesn't want anything ~too dreadful to befall her bc she ~is her stepdaughter and that'd look bad and reflect badly on her own kids chances buT brigit is a thorn in her side and she'd probs run away from her hubby and then try and rescue her sisters and that'd get messy and scandalous as well ladjksfkjsdf 'why she couldn't simply be pliant like the rest of her sisters i shall never understand. after aLL i have done for them [footage not found]' ~valentina to cassimir asp

sdkljafljsjdfsdf smth to bond over...their notp ;DDDD lkdsjafkljdsjfkjsdf speaking of that tho do you think valentina would know that brigit's uncomfy w the princes chatting up her sisters? bc that might indeed be smth valentina might try to get brigit to help her with if she did know 'a singular instance in which her stubborn streak might actually benefit someone [aka valentina]'

so publically she's all abt the new god and is super devout bc she thinks itll help her w roderick etc etc etc but honestly???? i don't think she really believes in any gods except maybe in a sort of vague 'i suppose there must be ~smth out there' or whatever. she may??? believe in whatever her old country's faith was but honestly??? she's never been super devout. she's not a spiritual person at all like...she's v materialistic and practical and since its the convention to believe she believes in the way we believe in space even tho we've never been outside the earth's atmosphere but she doesn't really think much and in terms of what she truly believes in deep down if she can't touch or see if it just isn't important to her basically lakjsdkfjld

so honestly if roderick's sons weren't showing up so regularly she wouldn't care what brigit worshipped, but w them as a constant threat of finding out that she isn't running a tight ship on one-godding it, valentina is probs tryna crack down on it and def pours any offerings into the fire and makes a whole scene and pulls everyone in from what their doing to tell them off and make a fuss and then makes them work later bc she found this as punishment or whatever smdh

#stepmomgoals

OOC | Valentina & Brigit

ahh, if it isn't valentina's least favorite stepdaughter! lakjsdfkljdf tho tbf, rose and eithne meddling w princes and her son are making that contest a lil more difficult to win hahaha

ngl tho id say that brigit still has the lead in the 'worst child' competition in valentina's book and, certainly, grew up w the title! being the most rebelious and outspoken of the kids honestly means she was probs the least fav even when the dad was around tbqh and then i feel like that probs only got compounded as valentina treated them worse and worse and told herself it was all fine -- but brigit didn't agree! and was most likely to be outspoken abt it!

anyway, she probs knows or at least suspects that brigit is in on the pranks, and this paired w everything gets her called 'ingrate' and punished a lot. but tbh her punishments are probs usually things like 'bed w/o dinner' but given that her own sister is the cook and this is ~their home, idk how assiduously any of these edicts are obeyed hahaha

however, for more egregious disturbances, she gets lashes and/or locked in the cellar a la danielle de barbarac! however, i don't think valentina hands these things out super liberally bc mostly she ~does want to keep the girls loyal and working and she knows that if she's too cruel she'll lose that, plus the fact that both eithne and rose have royal ears at their disposal, i think she realizes that she has to be a lil more careful how she treads -- at least until she can marry them both off into some wretched little backwater where no one will ever hear from them again and then blacken their names to anyone who once held them in high esteem bc #familygoals

i do think w all the girls there ws a period -- and sometimes the impusle occasionally it raises its head again even now -- right after the dad died when valentina genuinely tried to lowkey bond w her stepdaughters but tbh she just ~isn't a warm and loving person but she isn't a monster -- she felt bad that they were orphaned and was aware they were now her responsibility etc. however, i don't think she ever particularly liked any of them (the biggest reason she loves her own kids is bc she can't help it and she views them as pieces of herself and she's quite egotistical) and it felt quite burdensome and there was some jealousy bc everyone there loved them far more than she and hers and so there was a lot of "affection" doled out in the backhanded compliment variety and yeah it was pr toxic even when it was slightly better laksdjfkldjsf

so yeah!!! idr what my larger point was here, but yeah i do think this does apply to all of the girls, even brigit, tho i think from pr much the v start brigit was her least fav bc she wasn't 'ladylike' enough etc and *sigh* yeahhh

[antiloreolympus]

5 Anti LO Asks

1. love how the gods in LO and their environments are all the same, blindingly bright neon colors where hardly anything is decipherable   (zeus in the all purple room and hades basically just being a neon blue head in an nearly all black underworld spring to mind here) while the mortals are all the same muddly brown with muddy brown environments. i understand its to save time, but it just looks ugly and rushed over a unique palette.

2. uh ... does Rachel know dionysus was the way he was wasnt bc his mom was a "unhinged bitch" but rather the fact thats just how he was (is this being anti=partying? didnt LO literally start with a party?) as well as a dash of childhood trauma via HERA killing him as a baby? this isnt just a terribly misogynistic reading on semele, its also an offensively arrogant reading on dionysus. even the stereotypical depictions  via PJO or Disney show more respect than whatever Rachel thinks this is.

3. semele was literally a devoted but horny priestess in mythology??? are we sure rachel actually knows what she's talking about because itd be weird to claim to be a staunch feminist focusing on being against purity culture and wanting to promote female agency and being proud in their sexuality only to then frame an actually sexually liberated woman making her own choices especially in deeply regressive times as bad and evil because she just happens to like zeus and isn't hera ���

4. Out of curiosity how old do you think some of the mortals that the gods interact with are? Like how old is Semele supposed to be? She looks like a teenager (to me anyway).

And if thats the case, then Zeus is having an illicit affair with a teenage girl and so is Hades (the only difference is Kore has Goddess status to "make up for" the age gap).

Either way its still creepy. As far as we know the only somewhat decent brother of the triarchy is Poseidon (maybe its because hes more of a background character but he seems much more chill than Zeus + Hades).

I have a feeling if RS brought Poseidon in to the forefront more that she might ruin whatever small amount of characterization he has.

Also I'm fairly certain the brothers share 1 braincell and Poseidon has it 95% of the time. "Having an emotional affair can be just as damaging as a physical one".

Zeus definitely doesnt have it - he barely knows what's going on in Olympus and had no knowledge of Persephones crimes until someone else told him + then went into a temper tantrum to assert his dominance because he feels like no one takes him seriously (he's right, they don't. Not even Hera).

Hades has the braincell very rarely, but as soon as Persephone steps into the room it gets thrown out a window and he turns into a horndog. Also he reacts with temper tantrums as well - e.g: pulling a kids eye out for taking a photo of Persephone (granted paparazzi do kinda suck but still, Hades KNOWS hes the god of the underworld and is bound to attract attention + gossip and yet did nothing when Kore was made to feel uncomfortable and then in private ripped a kids eyeball out and Hecate helped to blind him - real good leadership there Hades, no winder the underworld denizens dont like you).

Honestly and we're supposed to be rooting for the gods? Or at least HxP?

I feel like it might be better if the narrative actually acknowledged that what the gods did was f*cked up and had lasting consequences, since RS wants them to be more "human" anyway.

Like Hades ripped a kids eye out and who gets 'punished' for it? Persephone. It damages her reputation at school and yeah she calls him out on it (saying that he did it more out of pride for himself than for her) but later its immediately forgotten as soon as she makes him fix the kid's eye.

(Not to mention that putting Hades in the room of the kid is gonna cause the kid more trauma. Was there no other healing option? Actually since when does Hades have healing powers? We've only ever see him kill plants to flirt with Persephone. And I think he should fix it, but I also doubt Persephone was thinking of the kids wellbeing in that moment - more of just fixing her reputation. Which again, does not endear the audience to her as a dread queen, if she can't make logical decisions that are going to impact the citizens shes destined to rule over). 

5. maybe the reason rachel made semele so unlikeable is because she knows itll be hard to excuse hera's action when she literally murders a pregnant woman and her baby so thats all she can manage to justify it, tho its also lowkey deranged to say someone and their baby deserves to die because hera has that easily bruised of an ego over a man, who in LO at least, she doesnt even love?? like hera would just look insane at that point, you cant "girl power" your way out of baby murder.