#of course there's fear. there's a lot of fear. but it's very selfish fear. the kind that makes you protect others because they're Just like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

7-deadly-cats · 13 days ago

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fuck valentine's day

genre: one shot, angst but happy ending, no explicit smut

pairing: taken!s4!rafe cameron x fem!bsf!reader

cw: strong language, angst but happy ending, suggestive language, major argument, mention of substance abuse (alcohol and coke), emotional distress, toxic relationship (not with you tho hihihi) and manipulation, brief mention of physical violence (just a punch), mildly suggestive scenes and hint of intimacy but no explicit smut, my reccomendation: 16+

summary: After the death of Ward Cameron, Rafe starts to reclaim his life, becoming more grounded and family-oriented. However, his close friendship with you slowly crumbles after Sabrina, his seemingly perfect girlfriend, enters the picture. You, grappling with suppressed feelings for Rafe, try to step back, but Sabrina's manipulative nature causes tensions to rise. On a stormy Valentine’s Day, a broken-down car leads to an unexpected confrontation between Rafe and you where emotions spill over. As truths are revealed, your complicated relationship takes an intense and transformative turn, forcing both to confront what you truly mean to each other.

word count: 8.3k

a/n: this is the most i've ever written in ONE day (yes i spent the whole valentine's day writing this lmao) and i put my whole soul into it, and i know it's LONG but i promise i tried my best to make it work. so anyway happy very late valentine's day to everyone, hope you enjoy this little one shot <3 maybe it's a little cheesy, cringe and cliche (especially at the end) but i guess that's what this day is about. and i really enjoyed writing it hihhi + would love to hear your thoughts on this one (would mean a lot)

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Ward Cameron’s death was, in your eyes, the best thing that could’ve ever happened to Rafe. He was finally free from the toxic relationship with his father. Free from years of manipulation, being pushed around, and constant disregard.

Of course, it hadn’t happened overnight. The first step had been taken long before Ward’s death, back when he fell into a coma and Rafe was suddenly thrust into the role of being the man of the house. It was during that time Rafe realized the family and their business could function without Ward Cameron at the helm.

Ward’s death was simply the final key that unlocked Rafe’s cage. And as he let go of his father, he also let go of a significant part of his old life.

He became more grounded, business-minded, and above all, family-oriented. He kept talking about fixing things with Sarah and pulling Wheezie away from Rose’s grip.

Rafe Cameron genuinely wanted to become a better man.

Watching him finally blossom as a person was so incredibly beautiful to witness. And yet, it shattered your heart into a thousand pieces knowing you weren’t the one standing by his side as it happened.

Sure, you had been there for him during his darkest, most destructive moments. You had stayed by his side when he said and did things that were nearly impossible to take back. He had hurt people close to him—you included—and yet, you had never left.

Deep down, you knew that underneath all the frustration and rage was a broken boy who just craved love and recognition. And no one had ever given him the chance to show that part of himself.

That’s exactly why you'd never dared to confess your feelings to him. He deserved love but there had never been a time when he was truly ready for a serious relationship.

Telling him about your feelings, purely out of selfishness, would’ve led to one of two outcomes: either an unstable relationship where he clung to the idea of being loved without genuinely loving you back, or the deterioration of your friendship due to his fear of commitment.

So, you suppressed your thoughts, feelings, and the love you held for him. You preferred to love him from afar as your best friend rather than risk dragging him into a formless relationship during his unstable state.

Tragically, that mindset became deeply ingrained in your brain. Even after Ward’s death, when Rafe visibly began to change for the better and showed clear signs of looking for something serious, you stayed silent. Not out of fear of losing him but out of sheer stubbornness, waiting for the “right moment.”

And that hesitation cost you your chance: another girl got there first and won Rafe’s heart.

Sabrina Anderson—he met her at a charity gala. She was stunningly beautiful, wealthy, had an excellent academic background, and everything about her screamed “old money.” She was the picture-perfect Kook girlfriend.

Everything Rafe thought he wanted in a woman.

And, for fuck’s sake, it felt like the universe was punishing you for your patience. Normally, you would’ve accompanied Rafe to his important events as his support but this one time, this one fucking time, you had canceled because you’d promised Topper you’d help him move into his stupid new place (yeah, he had finally gotten his act together and left his toxic family’s home). And like the idiot you were, you completely forgot the gala was happening that day.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. You know I usually write this stuff down in my calendar but I must’ve missed it somehow,” you said the night before the gala while helping him pick the perfect outfit.

Rafe just waved it off with a cheeky grin as he unbuttoned his shirt. “I’ll survive one evening without your bad jokes and complaining about the tiny dessert portions.”

“They are tiny portions. I think they’re expecting a bunch of kids as guests,” you retorted, your eyes flickering briefly to his sun-kissed, bare chest. You quickly averted your gaze and handed him a new shirt. “I think this one works better. Next time, I’ll be there—promise. Even if Topper’s new place is on fire.”

Rafe nodded, amused, as he slipped on the new shirt. “That’s not even unlikely with his mom around. That woman’s straight-up on ‘psycho mom marries son’ type shit.”

A laugh escaped your lips. “Don’t say that—next thing you know, it’ll be on TLC or some other trash TV channel.”

And so, you spent the rest of the evening together.

Rafe tried on a few more suits, all of which looked amazing on him (and in every single one of them, you wanted to rip the clothes right off him, though you'd never say that out loud).

You baked a pizza together, watched some movies in his bed, and every time you showed him one of your dumb, brain-rotting reels, he rolled his eyes—but every so often, he sent you one of his own because, deep down, he probably loved how much they made you laugh.

At some point, you fell asleep in his bed, and Rafe brought you an extra blanket. The next morning, he drove you home and wished you luck at Topper’s move.

Had you known that would be the last night the two of you could act like that, you would’ve told him everything.

But how could you have known that the next night, a new girl would enter his life? How could you have known that Sabrina Anderson would sweep him off his feet in a way you never could? And how could you have predicted that she would endanger your entire friendship so deeply that within a few months, you and Rafe were little more than acquaintances?

At first, everything seemed fine. Rafe told you about the gala, about Sabrina, and about how perfect she was. Of course, it broke your heart, but the way he spoke about her helped heal it again because he was genuinely smitten with her.

They started texting, going on dates, and Rafe did things for her he’d never done for anyone else. He bought her the most beautiful flowers, spoiled her with the most expensive jewelry, and gave everything to be a good boyfriend.

And so, their relationship grew more serious, and eventually, he introduced her to you, Topper, and Kelce at a party at Tannyhill.

That’s when everything went downhill.

Topper and Kelce obviously thought she was hot, of course—those idiots were just guys, after all. They couldn’t see past her perfectly shaped breasts and the cute ass hidden under a stylish dress.

But for you, alarm bells were ringing. Something about Sabrina just felt... off. Sure, she was incredibly sweet and nice but whenever she looked at you, there was something darker lurking beneath her gaze.

You dismissed it immediately, assuming you were just biased because of your own feelings for Rafe. A part of you simply couldn’t accept that another woman was making him happy.

Besides, you were still his best friend. You’d been through thick and thin together, and nothing could tear the two of you apart. Not even a girlfriend.

Sure, Sabrina would be part of everything from now on but the chemistry between you and Rafe... that was something special, and even an idiot could see it.

So it wasn’t entirely surprising when Sabrina cornered you in the kitchen later that night, a sweet smile plastered on her face. “Oh, hey, Y/N. Needed a little breather too?”

You were pouring yourself another drink, and even though she gave you a weird feeling, you smiled back at her. “Yeah, when Kelce DJs, it tends to get loud.”

Sabrina nodded in agreement but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “True. Rafe seems to have some... interesting friends.”

The way she said it, while looking directly at you, should’ve been enough for you to go straight to Rafe and tell him something about Sabrina wasn’t right. But you just shrugged as you added vodka to your cup. “Kelce’s a bit weird but he’s cool once you get to know him. And Topper’s always reliable when it counts.”

“And you?” Her innocent look didn’t match her tone.

You raised your eyebrows slightly. “What about me?”

“When Rafe mentioned he had a girl best friend, I didn’t think that...” She paused, tilting her head with a bemused smile. “Well, you know, that she was his ex.”

What the fuck?

Your eyebrows shot up, and you shook your head in confusion. “I’m not his ex. Where did you get that from?”

Sabrina let out a soft giggle, as if your reaction had been overly dramatic. “You don’t have to get so defensive. I just thought, well, you two seem so close, and the way you look at him... it’s only natural I’d have a few concerns, right?”

You shook your head again, though you couldn’t stop the faint blush creeping across your cheeks. “We’re just friends, Sabrina. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“So... just to be clear, you two never had anything going on? You know, slept with each other or something?” She still wore that fake innocent smile.

What a bitch.

“No, of course not,” you replied dryly. “It’s always been purely platonic between me and Rafe.”

Sabrina let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, that’s a relief. Then I guess you’re basically like a little sister to him.”

Whatever that was supposed to mean. You shrugged. “I guess."

This time, Sabrina’s gaze darkened, though her facade still didn’t slip. “Good. I mean, I’d just like to think siblings behave a little more... appropriately.”

You only smiled in response but in that moment, the first brick of a massive wall between you and Rafe had been laid.

Because deep down, as much as it ate at you, Sabrina was right. It had never been an issue before if you shared a bed with him, wore his clothes, kissed him during one of Kelce’s stupid Truth or Dare games, or hung on him like a lovesick monkey when you got too drunk.

You had been both single and the flirty banter between you had always been just that—a few dumb words or gestures, nothing more.

But now Rafe had a girlfriend. He was taken. And all those things were no longer okay. And even though he was your best friend and hadn’t yet drawn those boundaries for the sake of his new relationship, you did.

At first, it was a slow process. Movie nights turned into movie afternoons, and instead of laying in his bed, you suggested the couch because it was cozier… right? And even though he still preferred you as his plus one for events, you started declining, insisting Sabrina would probably appreciate it more. Wouldn’t she, Rafe?

You also pulled away from hugs quicker than before, drank less at parties to avoid doing anything dumb around him, and when it came to games like Never Have I Ever or Truth or Dare, you became a mere spectator. What used to be teasing touches were reduced to the bare minimum.

Your friendship began to waver and Sabrina kept Rafe so busy—dragging him from one date to another, satisfying him in ways you could only dream of—that he barely noticed how far the two of you had drifted apart.

Of course, the others around you weren’t stupid. Topper and Kelce immediately noticed the strange new tension between you and Rafe. Even fucking Ruthie, Topper’s girlfriend—and the two of you were definitely not on good terms—pulled you aside one evening.

However, you knew she didn’t do it out of concern for you. No, Ruthie felt threatened by Sabrina’s presence just as much as you did.

“Are you seriously going to let her walk all over you?” she asked, cornering you outside the bathroom at a beach party. “That bitch is a manipulative snake.”

God, you wanted to agree, to vent to Ruthie about how much Sabrina pissed you off. But for Rafe’s sake, you bit back the words and said instead, “If you want, I can let him know how you feel. I’m sure he’ll love to hear it.”

Ruthie, unimpressed, just smiled. “Oh, please. When’s the last time you two even talked alone?”

That stung because it was true.

Three months into his relationship with Sabrina, she’d already built a thick wall between you and Rafe. These days, you only saw each other at parties or when the group hung out—and even then, getting a private moment with him was rare. Sabrina clung to him like a shadow, always watching, always there. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d done something together, just the two of you. He barely seemed to have time for anyone else anymore, not even you.

And that was the problem. Rafe was so terrified of letting this chance at a “perfect” future with someone slip away that he clung to Sabrina just as tightly as she clung to him. Because even though Ward Cameron was no longer alive, one thing had stuck with Rafe: the idea of family.

That was what Ward had valued above all else, and Rafe thought he’d finally found that dream with Sabrina Anderson.

And even though it tore you apart, even though it cost you sleepless, tear-filled nights, you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him about it. It was so incredibly wrong and cowardly, especially because you KNEW what kind of person Sabrina was. You KNEW that, eventually, her controlling nature would probably drive a wedge between Rafe and the rest of the group—Topper, Kelce, everyone. But in that moment, he seemed happy.

And you couldn’t be the one to take that happiness away from him, even if it meant losing him in the process.

It was unbelievably stupid, and deep down, you knew he deserved better. But the real problem wasn’t Sabrina—it was you.

No matter who stood at Rafe’s side, any girl would have reacted the same way Sabrina did. Maybe they wouldn’t have been as cunning about it, but no girl would have been okay with the bond you shared with Rafe. Some might’ve confronted him directly, others might’ve gone after you like Sabrina had, and some would’ve just given up and broken things off immediately.

And Rafe had realized that too, in his own way. The connection between you and him... it wasn’t a normal “best friends” kind of thing. You were probably the most important person in his life—until Sabrina showed up. But Rafe had been too blind, too scared, to admit it to himself.

Or worse, to admit it to you.

Because the truth was, Rafe had feelings for you. He wasn’t stupid—how could he not have fallen for you? You’d stood by him during his darkest moments, even when he confessed to you about killing Peterkin. Hell, you would’ve followed him to Barbados if he hadn’t insisted you stay behind, where you’d be safe.

But Rafe also knew how messed up he was. He knew there was something deeply wrong with him. He was loud, impulsive, and reckless. At his worst, he’d nearly been willing to kill Sarah and his own father.

Rafe Cameron was a deeply unstable wreck and the last thing he wanted was to drag you down with him.

You deserved someone better. Someone kind and loving, someone who didn’t have anger issues or a fucked-up mind like his. Someone who knew their limits and respected others’.

God, how many times had he sat next to you at parties, with you drunk or high, leaning against him, your big, tired eyes looking up at him like he was the only person in the world that mattered? It had taken every ounce of self-control not to press his lips to yours right then and there, to carry you upstairs to his bed and forget about the party downstairs.

And the worst part? The thought of all the times you’d actually fallen asleep next to him in his bed. How badly he’d wanted you then—to kiss you, to love you, to feel you. Not in the way he'd done with random hookups in the past. God, no. What he felt for you ran so much deeper, more primal, than that. It was like hunger, like thirst. He didn’t just want you. He needed you—every piece of you, your whole being.

So, as time passed and you remained distant, Rafe Cameron broke under the weight of the wall between you.

But while you hid away in your room, drowning yourself in movies, shows, mindless phone games, loud music, and lonely nights, Rafe fell back into old habits.

Not all at once, but slowly—quietly—in a way that would destroy him eventually. More empty whiskey bottles started showing up around the house. The occasional bag of coke appeared in his drawers again. And when he came home from parties with Sabrina, it was rarely without a bruise or a bloody nose.

And when he fucked her afterward, it wasn’t out of love. It was out of frustration and anger—anger at himself for losing you. And every time a soft moan left Sabrina’s lips, it wasn’t her he thought of.

It was you.

Of course, you heard about all of this—not because you were there to witness his behavior (you avoided any place Rafe might show up these days) but through Topper and Kelce. They’d call or text you constantly, begging you to make up with Rafe. Because it wasn’t just you they were losing from the group—it was him too.

One night, Rafe even punched Topper, giving him a bloody nose, after Topper had the guts to bring up the whole situation. It wasn’t the complaints about Sabrina that set Rafe off—no, it was when your beautiful name had left Topper's lips.

Because Topper was right: Rafe had screwed it all up.

But he was too angry, too broken, to believe he could ever fix things with you.

Of course, he was Rafe Cameron. If Sabrina actually broke up with him, he’d just find someone else—at least, that’s what he had told himself for a while. But whether it was out of habit, some deeper fear, or simply the thought of losing someone again, he couldn’t deny it: he didn’t want to lose her. So, when Sabrina made it clear she was serious this time, he tried to do better.

Especially because deep down, Rafe wasn’t sure if he had the energy—or the patience—to let someone new get that close again.

No, he couldn’t let her go. He wouldn’t.

And what better day to secure her forever than Valentine’s Day?

Rafe wasn’t exactly a romantic but for this occasion, he had it all planned out: He’d take Sabrina out, spoil her with whatever she wanted, treat her like royalty. Dinner at the most expensive, exclusive restaurant, a private balcony lit by candlelight. Then, when they got back to Tannyhill, he’d carry her inside, through a house decorated with rose petals, scented candles, and heart-shaped balloons.

He’d take her to their shared bedroom, hold her close, and tell her how much he loved her—that he couldn’t imagine his life without her. And then, he’d drop to one knee, pull out the most extravagant, glamorous ring she could dream of, and ask her to marry him. He figured she’d probably say yes. After all, despite everything, she knew Rafe would do anything to keep her, and being a Cameron opened doors that her own name couldn’t.

And later, as he bent her over in the rose-adorned bed, he’d remind her how perfect she was. Though in truth, he’d be convincing himself that losing you had at least brought him this.

But, as if the universe was punishing him for his past and future mistakes, the weather had other plans. A torrential downpour hit the island, complete with strong winds and relentless rain. Leaving the house was impossible—any attempt would’ve ended in getting drenched or worse, an accident.

So, Rafe had no choice but to scrap his grand plans and stay at Tannyhill with Sabrina. Unfortunately, he’d already teased her days in advance about the “special surprises” he had in store.

In short: Sabrina wasn’t happy. She was upset about the weather, frustrated that Rafe’s plans had fallen through, and irritated with him by association.

It took everything Rafe had to hold his temper and avoid a full-blown argument. But he was determined not to screw this up. He cooked for her, gave her massages, played the music she liked, and later that evening, he drew her a luxurious bath to unwind.

That seemed to calm her, at least a little.

So, while Rafe stayed inside, trying to salvage the day, you were spending your Valentine’s with your grandmother. (It wasn’t like you had a date anyway, so why celebrate it?) She lived about an hour outside the Outer Banks, and you’d spent the day catching up with her, enjoying the quiet.

But as someone who rarely paid attention to her phone nowadays and definitely didn’t check the weather, you had no idea about the storm brewing in the area.

It wasn’t until you started your drive home that you realized just how bad it was. The rain came down in sheets, so thick it was nearly impossible to see more than a few feet ahead. The roads were slippery, the wind was howling, and you found yourself gripping the wheel tighter than ever.

“Okay,” you told yourself, “just go slow. Better to get home late than not at all.”

That was the plan, anyway—until your dad’s expensive Bentley decided to give up on you in the middle of an empty back road. No houses nearby, no streetlights, and definitely no one around to help.

You sighed, muttering a curse under your breath. Okay, it’s fine. Probably just a fluke. You tried turning the key in the ignition again. Then again. And again. Nothing.

Alright, not so fine.

Panic began creeping in but you forced yourself to stay calm. You couldn’t fix the car, and stepping out in this weather wasn’t an option. Your only choice was to call someone for help.

Your grandmother was already asleep by now and you didn’t want to worry her. Your parents were out of town for the weekend, so they were off the table, too. That left Kelce and Topper.

You tried Topper first but he sent you straight to voicemail. You were pretty sure Ruthie had something to do with that. Kelce picked up but the loud music and slurred tone on the other end told you he was having way too much fun at some club to be of any use.

“Great,” you muttered under your breath.

You scrolled through your contacts but nobody else seemed like a good option. Sure, you had other friends from your years at high school but who would actually drive half an hour in this weather on Valentine's Day just to pick you up?

Your thumb hovered over Rafe’s name. Your chest tightened.

The Rafe you used to know would’ve come for you in a heartbeat—rain, wind, storm, volcano, it wouldn’t have mattered. He would’ve been there, no questions asked. But now? You hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, and you weren’t even sure if he still had your number saved.

Besides, you didn’t want to ruin his Valentine’s with Sabrina. Topper had mentioned things were rocky between them for a while but apparently, Rafe had gotten things back on track.

So, that left… what? Spending the night in the car and hoping Kelce or Topper would sober up enough to rescue you in the morning? Not exactly ideal.

You glanced around nervously. You didn’t know this area well and the heavy rain pounding against the roof wasn’t helping your growing unease. It was dark, the only light coming from your phone which was now dangerously low on battery.

Great, you thought, sinking back into the seat. Just perfect.

Yeah, fuck, you were scared.

You bit the inside of your cheeks, your fingers hovering over Rafe's number. He probably wouldn’t even pick up—most likely cuddled up with Sabrina on the couch.

He’s not going to answer anyway, you thought to yourself, swallowing the lump of guilt forming in your throat. Then, you hit call.

Not even two rings later, he answered. “Y/N?” His voice sounded confused but also alert.

A lump formed in your throat at the sound of his familiar voice and only then did you realize how much you’d hoped he would actually answer.

“Rafe…” Your voice was quiet, slightly shaky, given the situation you were in. “I... I’m so sorry to bother you. I know it’s Valentine’s Day, and I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t—”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His tone shifted immediately, sharper now, filled with concern.

“Yes! No! I mean… no,” you stammered, struggling to get the words out. “I was just at my grandma’s, and my dad’s Bentley broke down. I already tried calling Kelce and Topper, but—”

“Where are you?” he interrupted, and your heart clenched.

“Rafe, you don’t have to—I just thought maybe—”

“Y/N.” His voice was firm now, leaving no room for argument. “Send me your location. I’ll come get you.”

You hesitated, then muttered, “I really don’t want to ruin your Valentine’s Day.”

“Fuck Valentine’s Day,” Rafe said, frustration in his voice but also unmistakable concern. “Send me your location, and tomorrow morning I’ll beat the shit out of Kelce and Topper for not answering.”

Despite the tension of the situation, despite the fear and guilt gnawing at you, a laugh escaped your lips. For a moment, you paused, then sent him your live location.

“I’ll be there soon. Stay in the car, lock the doors, and don’t open up for anyone,” he instructed.

You barely managed to thank him before he hung up. And despite the guilt weighing heavy on you, an immense wave of relief washed over you.

Rafe was in his closet, pulling out two jackets and a hoodie, when Sabrina walked out of the bathroom, her cheeks flushed pink from the steam and a towel barely wrapped around her, exposing her still-damp legs.

She frowned. “What are you doing?”

“I’m picking up Y/N,” he said, slipping on one of the jackets. “Her car broke down in the middle of nowhere.”

A flush of red rose to Sabrina’s pretty face, her brow furrowing deeply. “And she called you?”

Rafe shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots. “No one else picked up. I’ll be back in an hour—”

“Are you serious, Rafe?” Her voice sharpened, rising in pitch. “It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re driving out in this weather for HER, but you couldn’t even take me to dinner in town?”

Rafe grimaced, but his voice remained calm. “Like I said, I’ll be back soon. Don’t make this into a big deal.”

Sabrina scoffed, crossing her arms. “A big deal? You think I am the one being dramatic? Y/N is a grown woman. She knows we’re spending this evening together, and she still called you?”

"She called because she needs help, not because she’s trying to ruin your night or some shit," Rafe said, his tone making it clear she was being ridiculous. Still, he didn’t want to push her any further. He ran a hand over his face and sighed. “Look, baby—”

But Sabrina just shook her head in irritation. “My night? What’s that supposed to mean?! This is our night, Rafe. And now you’re ditching our night for her?!” She stepped closer, her voice rising. “I’ve always known she was a threat to our relationship.”

“A threat?” Rafe raised his brows in disbelief as he stood. “Come on, Sabrina, that’s insane. Just drop this bullshit.”

Her face flushed a deep, angry red. “I—excuse me? Do you even hear yourself right now? She hasn’t called you in weeks, Rafe. Weeks. And the second she does, you’re running off like some pathetic, lovesick puppy? It’s so embarrassing. For you, and for me.”

It took everything Rafe had to keep from completely losing it. Her words hit a nerve, and deep down, he knew she wasn’t entirely wrong. You had pulled away from him—hell, both of you had.

His blood was boiling, but all he could think about was you, sitting alone in that damn car in this awful weather.

Rafe took a step toward her, towering over her. Maybe he could control his words but he couldn't control his voice, now loud and frustrated. “Tell me then, what the fuck do you want me to do, huh?! Leave her stranded out there all by herself?”

Sabrina nodded as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “She’ll figure it out, it’s just one night and—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” His voice was dangerously calm now. “Pack your things and get the fuck out of my house.”

For a moment, Sabrina stared at him, stunned. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Rafe said, his gaze cold and full of suppressed disdain. “Get dressed and leave.”

She let out an incredulous laugh. “Are you kidding me? You’re being crazy, you—”

“If you’re not out the door in five minutes, I’ll make sure to throw you out myself.”

Sabrina blinked, her face twisting in disbelief. “You can’t just kick me out. It’s pouring outside, Rafe—it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Unbothered, Rafe shrugged, mimicking her earlier words. “You’re a grown woman. You’ll figure it out.”

And as the leech that called herself Sabrina Anderson finally disappeared from Tannyhill, Rafe climbed into his SUV and took off.

His chest felt tight, his mind racing, yet at the same time, he felt an overwhelming sense of relief. You were the only thing on his mind right now. He didn’t even try to put into words the heavy, suffocating feeling that lingered.

He’d messed up again—this time with Sabrina. But there was no regret, no sadness, nothing. If anything, it felt good to finally be rid of her. It wasn’t until halfway through the drive that he realized how much of a blind idiot he’d been. On some subconscious level, he’d been waiting for a moment like this, a reason to cut her out of his life.

For the first time in months, he could breathe freely, without her breathing down his neck. And as the last few months replayed in his mind, it hit him—she’d been a parasite, manipulating him, controlling him, molding him to fit her needs. Maybe he’d known all along but he hadn’t wanted to admit it.

Breaking free from her was almost as hard as breaking free from his father. And, apart from Topper—who’d earned himself a punch to the face—no one had called him out. No one had tried to wake him up.

Not even you.

He shook off the thoughts as he spotted the silhouette of a dark car up ahead. His heart sank, thinking about how you must be feeling—completely alone on that pitch-black road.

Pulling up behind the Bentley, he grabbed the umbrella and jacket he’d thrown onto the passenger seat and stepped out into the pouring rain.

The umbrella didn’t do much—his jeans were soaked through almost immediately. But he didn’t care. He knocked on your car door, and the look of relief on your face when you unlocked and opened it almost made his chest ache.

Then he noticed the redness in your eyes and a heavy feeling settled in his stomach. “You okay? Here, take the jacket.”

Shivering, you hesitated but took it anyway, the relief coursing through your body almost enough to keep you warm.

“Rafe…” you started as you stepped under his umbrella but he shook his head.

“Don’t,” he said, his hand resting gently on your back. “Let’s get you out of this weather.”

His touch sent a shiver down your spine but you didn’t argue. You hurried with him to his SUV and he opened the door for you, waiting to make sure you were inside before tossing the umbrella into the backseat and climbing in himself.

For a moment, the only sound was the pounding rain against the roof. Rafe gestured to the hoodie on the dashboard. “Put that on—you’re just in shorts.”

Still, you hesitated. It felt wrong somehow. The familiar scent of his car—of him—was already too much.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” He grabbed the hoodie and draped it over your bare knees. “Stop being so stubborn.”

You didn’t know what to think or say. Rafe had come out here for you in this weather, left Sabrina behind, and… while you were endlessly grateful, you couldn’t shake the guilt.

As he started the car and pulled back onto the road, the guilt churned in your chest again. “Rafe, I’m really sorry. If I’d known it was raining like this, I would’ve stayed at my grandma’s, I—”

“Drop it,” Rafe cut in, his eyes fixed on the road. “You needed help, and I came. That’s all there is to it.”

You glanced at him, noting the tension in his jaw, the way his profile seemed sharper in the dim light. Hesitantly, you asked, “And Sabrina… how mad is she?”

It surprised you that she hadn’t insisted on coming along.

“She’s gone,” he said, still staring straight ahead.

Your heart sank to your stomach. “Gone? I… what do you mean, gone?”

“I threw her out.” His tone was blunt, almost defiant. He finally looked at you, his expression a mix of frustration and exhaustion.

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. “What—why? What happened? Is it because I called? I—”

“Because she’s a fucking bitch,” Rafe cut in flatly. He dragged a hand down his face before turning back to you, his tone softening as he caught the shock in your eyes. “I should’ve done it a long time ago. I just… I was too blinded by all her fake bullshit.”

Your fingers clenched into the fabric of his hoodie on your lap, your thoughts spiraling. “Rafe, I’m really—”

“No, Y/N,” he interrupted again, his brows pulling together. “I swear to God, if you say you’re sorry one more time, I’ll throw you out too.” There wasn’t an ounce of seriousness in his voice, though. He sighed heavily, the frustration evident. “It’s all just… so fucked. Everything about this. It pisses me off. I really thought she was the one, and I was so blind to all her flaws.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Jesus, Y/N, why didn’t you say something?”

You blinked, taken aback. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me,” he shot back, the frustration he’d been holding back now bubbling to the surface. “It’s obvious she came between us. I was too stupid—fuck, I was too into her to see it. But you…” His voice faltered, and he seemed to collect himself. “You’re not stupid. You’re always the first one to spot red flags in people. Hell, even Topper eventually figured it out.” He shook his head, clearly frustrated. “I don’t get it. Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you let her play her stupid little games?”

You couldn’t tell if he was angry at you, Sabrina, himself, the situation, or all of it combined. “I…” But what could you say without revealing too much? “I thought she made you happy and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin that. I didn’t think it would turn out like this.”

“Bullshit.” The sharpness in his tone made you flinch. “You were my best friend. You’ve never had a problem speaking your mind when something bothered you. And now you’re telling me you let that bitch silence you?”

There it was—you were his best friend. Hearing it from his mouth shattered something deep inside you that you thought was already broken.

“That bitch, Rafe,” you snapped, a sharp edge creeping into your own voice, “was your girlfriend, just so you know. So, yeah, fine, I’ll admit it—when you first introduced her, every alarm bell in my head went off. Is that what you want to hear? I knew, and I didn’t do a damn thing about it. Boo-fucking-hoo. But you know what? You let it happen just as much as I did.”

And in that moment, you realized just how angry you were at Rafe. Sure, he’d been infatuated but was that really an excuse? He was just as much to blame as you were for all of this.

Rafe scoffed bitterly as he turned onto the main road leading into Figure 8. “I don’t get it. Did she say something to you? Is that why you pulled away? Shit, did she have something on you? Nudes or some shit like that?”

“What? No!” You stared at him, equal parts exhausted and horrified. You were cold, hungry, and overwhelmed by a storm of emotions boiling beneath the surface. You didn’t even know where to start. “Let's drop this, I'm tired. Please just take me home.”

But when he drove past your street without even slowing down, you frowned at him in disbelief. “What--”

“We’re talking this out,” he said flatly, eyes fixed on the road ahead. “If I drop you off now, nothing’s gonna change, and I’m so done with this shit.”

You opened your mouth to argue but when his tired, frustrated eyes met yours, the words caught in your throat. “Afterward, I’ll drive you home, and you can sulk in peace if you want,” he added, his tone softer but firm.

You stayed silent and turned your gaze out the window. You knew him well enough to realize there was no point in arguing. When Rafe set his mind on something, there was no swaying him.

By the time the SUV pulled up to Tannyhill, the storm had mostly passed, though the occasional raindrop still pattered against the windshield. The two of you climbed out in silence. Despite the light drizzle, Rafe grabbed the umbrella from the backseat and opened it over you both as he walked you to the house.

The door clicked open with a soft push and Rafe let you step inside first. As the door shut behind you and the warm glow of the entryway light filled the space, you were suddenly hit by an overwhelming, almost suffocating sense of unease.

The walls were lined with red heart-shaped balloons. The faint scent of roses lingered in the air, mingled with something sweeter you couldn’t quite place. Blown-out candles dotted every available surface, and the staircase was covered in a delicate carpet of red rose petals leading to the next floor.

It was… perfect.

Your stomach twisted as you took it all in, the earlier argument momentarily forgotten. Still staring at the carefully arranged display, you spoke softly. “You did all this for her?”

Rafe let out a bitter laugh. “Shit, I was even gonna propose to her tonight.”

Your heart stopped. A proposal? He’d been that serious about Sabrina? You felt like throwing up. This was all too much to take in.

“I’m glad you called,” he said after a moment, his voice softer this time, carrying an edge of something almost vulnerable.

You pressed your lips together and turned around.

Now, under the bright light, you could finally see just how much this relationship had drained him. The dark circles under his eyes, the pallor of his skin, the way his cheekbones stood out more sharply than they should—it all painted a picture of someone who had given too much and gotten nothing in return.

And then the dam broke. All the emotions you’d suppressed over the past few months—the frustration, the sadness, the guilt, and the fear—boiled down into the rawest form of emotion: anger.

“She’s a stupid fucking whore,” was all you managed to get out.

Rafe raised an amused eyebrow, caught off guard by your reaction. “What?”

You shook your head, struggling to put your swirling thoughts into words. “She’s a stupid, arrogant, deceitful, manipulative bitch who doesn't deserve you. I mean, seriously, she ruined this,” you gestured between the two of you, “us. She tore us apart. You were my best friend, Rafe. There were times when we’d spend an entire week together, just the two of us, rotting in bed and sending Kelce and Topper stupid snaps, and then she came along, and… and everything changed overnight.”

Your brows furrowed deeply. “She’s such a disgusting person—no, scratch that—a creature. A monster. On the very first night I met her, she came up to me, and she had the nerve to question my relationship with you. Like, she thought our friendship was too intimate or some bullshit like that. And I don’t know, I guess it got to me. What if she was right? I didn’t want to be the problem. I didn’t want to be a threat to your relationship with her. So, I backed off.”

You groaned, frustration evident in your voice. “God, I could just rip my hair out. I should’ve said something. To her, and especially to you! But I was so afraid that I was wrong about her. That I was blinded by my…” Feelings. You stopped yourself, the word stuck in your throat. “By my worry for you. I mean, at first, it seemed like she was good for you, so I stayed quiet. But by then, the damage was done and…” Your voice softened, almost like a question. “At some point, I thought, maybe if it was so easy to build a wall between us, then maybe our friendship was doomed to fail anyway.”

And there it was. You’d said everything you’d bottled up, and yet, there was still so much left unsaid. But you were exhausted, done with all of this, your chest rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath.

Rafe stared at you, his expression unreadable—was he stunned, irritated, frustrated? You couldn’t tell.

Finally, after a moment of seemingly endless silence, he spoke. “Shit, this bitch has been right all along.”

His words hit you like a lightning strike. Before you could ask him what he meant, Rafe closed the distance between you and his hands cupped your face as he pressed his lips to yours as if they were the only place he ever belonged.

Frozen, overwhelmed, and confused, you stood still as a thousand questions and emotions surged through you. But in that moment, you pushed them all aside and sank into it. Your fingers clung to his shirt, afraid to let go.

His kiss was raw, desperate, hungry as if you were the only thing that could satisfy the emotions he’d been holding back. Rafe’s hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss. Every pent-up feeling from the past few weeks poured out through the way his lips moved against yours.

And god, you felt so good. Your soft lips on his, the warmth of your body pressed against his. Shit. Even though he’d had Sabrina beneath him night after night, fucking her mindlessly, in this moment, he felt so endlessly touch-starved.

Not for the empty satisfaction of release, no.

For you.

When he finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together as you tried to steady yourselves.

Your lips were swollen from the kiss, and you were too scared and stunned to say anything, afraid that speaking would shatter the moment.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Rafe finally said, his thumb tracing soft circles on your cheek, his voice low and raw. “It’s you. It’s always been you, Y/N. Fuck, it wouldn’t have mattered if it was Sabrina or any other brain-dead girl. If you called, I would’ve come running every single time. And I almost lost you because of all her bullshit." He sighed, lowering his eyes for a second, trying to grapple his words. "I think, somewhere in my head, I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough for you. That you deserved better. So I went for girls like Sabrina. Girls who are... Shit, I don’t know, polished and perfect on the outside but completely empty on the inside. The kind of girl I thought I was supposed to be with.

“But she’s not perfect." He scoffed. "Holy shit, not even close. She’s pretentious and selfish, and she made me feel like I had to change just to fit into her world. But you?” He let out a nervous laugh, meeting your eyes again, and there was a vulnerability in his tone that you’d never heard before. “You’ve never wanted me to change. You’ve always let me be ... me—even when I’m a complete fucking idiot. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like I’m not too much. Like I don’t have to prove anything.”

For a moment, his words hung in the air, sinking in. Your brain needed a second to fully process everything he’d just said.

His blue eyes bore into your soul as if he were anxiously waiting for your approval as if the way you returned his kiss hadn’t been answer enough. As if your next reaction would determine his entire life.

And then you laughed, a sweet and soft sound escaping your lips, cheeks burning, still hyper-aware of the feel of his lips on yours. Overwhelmed, exhausted, and struggling to find the right words, you let your instincts take over. Your hands softly found his cheeks, pulling him back to your lips.

Rafe didn’t hesitate. He took it as an invitation, wrapping his arms around you completely. His hands slid from your waist down to your hips, then lower. When he lifted you effortlessly, your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, your hands finding his neck.

This time, the kiss was slower, deeper—like both of you were trying to savor every second, afraid this moment might slip away the very next.

He pressed you gently against the wall, and the cold surface sent a shiver down your spine.

Your body's reaction made him smile into the kiss before pulling back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. “This isn’t exactly the most comfortable spot, huh?”

A soft laugh escaped you. And with that sweet little sound, the last stubborn traces of tension melted away. The days, weeks, months—all those nights spent alone in your bed, frustrated and hurt by this whole... fucked-up, messed-up situation.

And hell, you didn’t have, shit no, you didn’t want to waste a single ounce of energy or thought on that time anymore. So all you said was "Please, I’m used to your lumpy mattress.”

“Yeah?” His eyes sparkled with playful mischief and his hands gave your butt a teasing squeeze. “Well, so far, all you’ve done is sleep in it.”

Heat rushed to your face, and before you could say anything, he adjusted his grip on you, holding you like he was afraid you might slip away. Your heart was racing, tumbling over itself in your chest, as he carried you upstairs, his arms steady but his pace a little too eager, a little too desperate, like he’d been waiting for this just as long as you had.

When he reached the top, he nudged the door open with his foot, and it felt like the rest of the world disappeared. No noise, no distractions, just you and him, in the quiet of his room, where nothing else mattered.

He set you down gently, his hands lingering on your waist like he couldn’t bring himself to let go. His lips found yours again—not rushed, not frantic, but slow and deliberate, like he was making up for every second you’d been apart.

You felt the weight of it all in every kiss—the weeks, months, maybe even years of feelings neither of you had dared to name. His hands moved over you like he was memorizing you, tracing your body in a way that was equal parts hesitant and hungry, like he didn’t want to scare you but couldn’t hold back anymore.

Your fingers softly moved over his buzzed hair, pulling him closer, and he let out a low, almost broken sound against your lips that sent a shiver through you. His breath was warm as his kisses trailed down your neck, and it was overwhelming but in the best way possible.

That night, the room was filled with quiet laughter and soft murmurs, the sound of his name slipping from your lips like it was meant to. Rafe's touch was gentle but sure, every movement unspoken proof of just how much he'd missed you. The hours blurred together, and for once, nothing else mattered—just the two of you, tangled up and lost in each other like this was where you were always supposed to be.

And even though all of it—the candles, the balloons, the rose petals, a ring that never found its finger—had been meant for a manipulative bitch called Sabrina Anderson, she was already forgotten in both of your heads.

Erased by this moment. By you.

Because, like Valentine’s Days, she had always been all surface: Pretty words, empty gestures, and nothing real beneath it.

And if you both were being honest, this cheesy day was overrated anyway. Like Rafe had said: Fuck Valentine’s Day.

And sometimes, fuck the person you end up confessing your love to at the end of it. Even–and maybe especially–if they were your former best friend.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

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reignpage · 3 months ago

Text

The Other Side

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3

Satoru doesn’t want to go home.

There’s an unbearable pressure within those walls, pushing further and further in until he feels his cheeks touch the cold surfaces. Within himself, there’s also a pressure pushing further and further out, and he’s worried he’ll burst at the seams, stuffing flying out, leaving only a voice box that echoes an apology on repeat.

He hates disappointing people. Despises that shaking of heads, the hands on the hips, and that disapproving gaze which penetrates the message that he isn’t good enough to his very soul. And he loathes even more the fact that you do none of that. Instead, you smile.

It doesn’t reach your eyes, doesn’t make your cheeks all round or teeth to be on display. Having lived a couple decades now, Satoru’s aware of the polite customs of humans; the harmless ‘how are ya’ and ‘looking good’ that no one really means, and no one ever responds to. So, he knows when you’re simply fulfilling your role, doing what you think is best.

Your favourite colour, the shape of your body, biggest fears and weaknesses are all things he might not know, or rather does not remember, but he does know that you cry yourself to sleep at night.

He knows that because he stands outside your door, fist just about to hit the wood but something always holds him back. There’s an instinct inside that urges him out of bed, feet padding on the floor, and begs him to say something, anything. Even if it is just to ask if you’re okay.

But Satoru doesn’t. Because he knows it’s stupid. Of course, you’re not okay, who would be?

And he’s selfish.

He wants to protect himself from that cataclysmic ache in his chest that comes from witnessing you try to hold back tears, for him. The way it makes your eyes red and your lashes to flutter, bottom lip quivering. It’s all his fault, he knows that. How dare he get hit by a curse?

How could he possibly call himself the strongest if he had been so weak as to destroy himself, and you, his wife? Or rather, old Gojo’s wife.

No, you’re still his.

That’s what the ring on his left hand says. He has to remind himself of that.

“You should go home, Satoru.”

She sits beside him, sipping from her glass, as they loiter by the bar. They’ve been there for hours, making idle small talk about nothing in particular. Their history is long but has been severed for years now, even before his memory loss. Satoru doesn’t really know why he asked to meet up; it’s wrong to see your ex-girlfriend as a married man, he’s aware.

But he just needed to speak to someone he’s close to, someone who knew him intimately, as a partner, so that he can navigate this new reality he woke up to months ago. No one else would understand because they’re your friends too, and they’ll be disappointed in his choices, he’s sure.

He sighs. “Would she even want to see me?”

“Of course, she does. She loves you. Even if it hurts, she’ll still want to see you come home, safe and sound.”

Satoru sighs again, a deeper, more strained exhale. He already knows the right answer, but as strong and experienced a fighter as he is, at the very core of his character, he’s still a coward. Was the Old Him braver? Is that what you loved about him? Is that why you can’t bear to be too close to New Him?

Tracing the rim of his glass and watching the liquid shake, he ponders his situation. He does that a lot these days, just thinking and mulling and wondering. Sometimes, he finds himself reaching for your hand at the dinner table, his eyes searching for yours first in every crowded room, and in bed, he’ll be woken up by his arm yearning for your body only to find nothing.

He doesn’t know what all of that means.

And he supposes, without his memories, none of it matters. Even if he does press his lips against yours like he finds himself daydreaming, you’ll still be kissing the wrong man. Because you fell in love with a more mature, wiser, loving man. And what stands before you every day is but a cheap replica of that, all hollow and dull.

“Yeah, I guess,” he acquiesces, and then, almost like an afterthought, he asks, “Do you think I’ll ever get my memories back? That should fix everything, right?”

His companion hums, fiddling with her hair as they both watch the people pass by.

“Maybe. But I think it’s important you prepare for the possibility that you’ll never get it back. That’s just as likely, don’t you think?”

Satoru shrugs. It’s not the answer he was hoping to hear, though it certainly is what he was expecting. Truth is, he doesn’t think it’s possible; it all feels just a little too late, like you’ve all already strapped into the car, it’s speeding towards a cliff, and you know the height is too great.

The gold band shines under the lights, and it feels hot on his finger, like a brand. It kind of itches the more he thinks about it, but he doesn’t dare take it off. Fiddle as he might, it’s a part of him, representing his past, present and future. He finds no fear in that.

His phone pings. It’s you. You’re asking when he’s coming home.

His chest aches again. You’re alone, at home, sat on the sofa wondering where your husband is, and Satoru’s trying to find him, for you. Even if it means losing himself, disappearing into the void, and being held up on strings by a different version of him, a better version.

Of course, he won’t find the love of your life at the bottom of a glass, and certainly not at a bar with another woman. But he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s flipped through the photo albums, watched all the videos -- the wedding ones, and the ones on his phone, where you’re reading, and you have no idea he’s filming you. You laugh and he finds himself, at night, holding the speaker of his phone up to his ear to listen to it again and again, his lips twitching.

You weren’t laughing at him nor were you laughing for him. But he ultimately doesn’t care, because he gets to hear it, nonetheless. And he wants to hear it again and again.

It’s wrong to fall in love with someone else’s wife, wrong to wear someone else’s shoes, and someone else’s ring, and wrong to walk in someone else’s house. Though, it all technically belongs to him. None of it is right; he’s living the life meant for someone else. And if Satoru was a better man, a kinder, more fair man, he would work harder to give it back.

But Gojo Satoru is none of those things, not in this moment. No, right now, he’s settled into the role of a selfish man. Because he’s decided he wants this life, and he wants it with you. Even after all the pain, the anxiety, the grief, you’re still asking where he is, still craving his presence. And even though you’re not his and he doesn’t know you the way he should, he still thinks of home as being with you.

Does that mean he loves you?

He doesn’t know. But he wants to find out.

So, he pushes his chair back and says goodbye to his friend, strolling out of the bar without looking back. Whether or not he gets his memory back, doesn’t matter. Not really. He can’t keep waiting for that to happen, to keep your life and his on standby, praying for a miracle to come. It’s not fair on anyone. You, especially.

Whatever happens, he’ll deal with it. He always has. He’s Gojo Satoru, for goodness’ sake. He’ll bear the consequences, face your disappointment, and your tears however many times he has to, until you’re seeing him for who he is.

Not the Him from before, or the Him that he could be, but the Him that you have.

The one he’s offering.

He just hopes it’s good enough.

#jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk drabble #jjk oneshot #Gojo Satoru #Gojo angst #Gojo x reader #Gojo oneshot

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yuukirita · 3 months ago

Note

With how the high guard is with baby bee… what do you think is their first reaction to meeting the sparkling? While Orion pax, D-16 and elita were knocked out??

Cause like Shockwave said, they didn’t knock out a sparkling and… I was wondering how it all went down with baby bee and the high guard

(hi! … do you want a sunflower? 🌻 or.. a different plant?)

"Is that a-" Shockwave sputters out as Soundwhave nods in both concerned and wonder.

A simple order is given "Don't hurt the sparkling" Didn't even need to be said really. The high guard was a lot of things. Powerful. Scary. Vindictive. Vengeful. Intense. But one thing they also were: protective. Especially of their young. It was part of their duty to protect the future of Cybertron, and that brought a deep sense of care towards sparklings.

They had been cut off from that part of the job for much too long.

The other bots came down easily. Out in a flash. The pink one went down first- they saw as the silver mech react quickly and wrap himself around the sparkling to protect him. Honnorable, but useless.

Sending a sparkling to find them was a sin and fuelled their anger towards Sentinel further than they even believed possible.

"Dee! Wake up!" They heard the small one cry as he wormed his way out of his presumed caretaker's hold to shake his shoulders "Dee! Orion! Elita! Please wake up-" Each plea is like a tear directly into their sparks.

Sorry little one.

They land, quickly. They're surprised to find no fear in the sparkling as they approach- But determination. He puts himself in between his caretakers and them. Ready to fight if needed- and then theres recognition and that hits them even harder.

"You're- You're the Cybertronian High Guard!"

The yellow sparkling gawks at them- then looks at his fallen friends. Conflicted that his apparent heroes just knocked out his best friends.

He doesn't need a lot of reassurance other than 'we won't hurt them' and the sparkling is- well he's adorable and the high guard can't get enough of him. He keeps talking and talking and talking- and asking them for stories and-

They all draw straws to know who gets to hold the sparkling next- but Soundwhave has first pick since he must absolutely give the sparkling a medical check- he doesn't like how malneurished he is but tankfuly he always had energon threats on him.

Still they all get a turn at dotting on him and it feels right. They are warriors but they're also protectors- carers. It's good to be with the very reason you fight for- they also try to get information from the sparkling but... well he doesn't seem to know anything...

The queu is out of the window the moment Starscream sees the sparkling and hogs the baby- of course he does... selfish.

The fun has to end eventually and they try to make B-127 understand they need to look scary and intimidating to interogate his... companions (possible kidnappers- seeing as none of them were his caretaker)

"B-127, you must keep quiet." Starscream can see the kid really does try his best but he can't be quiet for more than a few seconds- endearing but a bit of an obstacle at the moment.

"We can tape his mouth." say Shockwhave... yeah they're not going to do that... weirdo...

"Solution: treat" Soundwhave picks Bee from Starscream and gives him a treat. "Can't talk if his mouth is full." and the kid needs the energon anyway.

#transformers one #bumblebee #b 127 #babybee au #maccadam #awsering messages

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navybrat817 · 7 months ago

Note

Does Bucky ever get needy?

Does Bucky Barnes ever get needy, nonnie?

Does he want your attention? Yes. He feels selfish at times because he knows you have to focus on others, but he’ll stare at you like a puppy until he gets your attention. Or a grumpy cat. He actually sat on your lap once when you didn't look at him. That certainly got your attention. And the time he snarled at Steve for taking up too much of your time. Yes. Snarled. At his best friend.

Does he like your touch? Yes. While he doesn’t let a lot of people put their hands on him, he seeks out your touch. He pushed his head under your palm once while you were reading because he wanted to feel your fingers run through his hair. He’ll also hold your hand whenever you’re around a lot of people. It grounds him and presents the two of you as a united front.

Does he like to touch you? Yes. Once he got over his fear of sleeping in bed with someone else, he went from ex-assassin to cuddle monster. You’ve had to pry yourself from his six-feet however many inches tall octopus hold in the mornings, but he just pulls you right back to him. It’s nice since he’s basically like a personal space heater. Feeling his breath against your neck as he smiles makes you smile, too. And he always has a hand on you or arm around you when hanging out with friends. Not as a sign of ownership, but he’s just thankful that he has you to touch and he’s proud to be your guy.

Does he like to be apart from you when you’re close by? No, not even if you’re just in the next room. He’ll give you space if you need it. Otherwise, he just wants to be where you are. You almost slipped once getting out of the shower because he was just there waiting for you and holding your towel for you. He caught you before you could fall because he won’t let you get hurt if he can help it. Since he’s extremely agile and silent thanks to his training and serum, he makes a little noise now so he won’t scare you again. Unless it’s primal play and then all bets are off.

banner by the talented @cafekitsune

Does he like to be away from you for missions? No. He hates it. He’ll get the job done, of course, because he has someone to fight for and come back to. But good luck to you and your pussy once he’s home. A koala bear sort of hug that quickly turns into desperate fucking. Panting and moaning how much he missed you, how he doesn’t deserve you, but you’re so good. Feel so good. And you’re his. His. He isn’t letting go. Can’t let go. You’re not walking tomorrow either, but it’s worth it.

Has he ever gotten hard just from you kissing him? Yes. Heated or lazy kisses, a peck on the lips. Doesn’t matter. Hell, he felt his cock twitch when you smiled at him this morning. Breathing the same air as you has done the same thing. The first time you told him “I love you” when he was inside you, he came then and there. He was embarrassed until you told him how hot it was that you loving him got him off. How many others can say that?

Does he jerk off to the very thought of you? Yes. Inhaling the scent from your panties with a growl as he strokes his cock, imagining your gasps and whimpers as if he was actually fucking you. His hand never feels as good as your pussy. Isn’t wet or tight enough. Doesn’t grip him like a vice. Putting his other hand in his hair, he doesn’t pull the strands the same way you do. It just isn’t the same. You ruined him in the best possible way.

Does he like to finish inside you? Yes. It’s like his mission every single time. He drives into you like his only purpose is to pleasure you and fill you up. The last time you went down on him, he had you lay back before he could finish and jerked off on your folds. He pushed as much of his release as he could inside you. And thanks to being able to get hard again quickly, he proceeded to fuck you into the mattress and add more to it. You’re hardly ever empty.

Does he love you? Yes, more than anyone else or anything. You’re the beginning and end of everything and that should scare him, but it doesn’t. You’re the sun that rises and brightens the darkness. What he feels for you is eternal, infinite, and he’ll cherish every big and small moment the two of you have together. And he’ll still love you if the world ends tomorrow.

So, does Bucky Barnes ever get needy? Yes.

And that’s okay.

Sorry lovelies. Nothing to see here. Go about your business. Love and thanks! ❤️

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ohnoitstbskyen · 1 year ago

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youtube

... y'all know Lae'zel is acting scared, right?

Video transcription: I've seen a lot of comments on my short about Lae'zel dismissing her entire character because she's mean and… I'm just checking in here… you guys know she's scared, right? She's terrified. She was kidnapped by the worst monster she knows, infected with the most horrifying death anyone in her culture can have, and then stranded on a hostile world, alone, with nothing to guide her except the dogmatic military cult indoctrination of a cruel lich demigod, telling her that her only hope of salvation is to follow Gith doctrine with total unyielding faith. And still she tries to save you. When she keeps insisting that you must get to the Githyanki crèche, it's our only hope, she's trying to guide you towards the only salvation she knows from the parasite, so she can share it with you. And Gith... aren't supposed to do that, saving an outsider is not part of the doctrine, she's breaking the rules trying to do right by you. None of that means she's not being an asshole, she's rude, dogmatic and unpleasant. But everything she does comes from a genuine, very misguided and abrasive, desire to do the right thing. It doesn't make her behaviour okay, but there is more to her character than just "being the mean one."

To expand on this a bit more than I can in a 60 second short, people acting from fear and from their damage is a major theme among the Baldur's Gate 3 companions.

Lae'zel is terrified and falling back on the only thing she believes will give her back some control over her situation, which is the dogma of the military cult she's in. Shadowheart is much the same, amnesiac and grasping on to the only solid thing she knows, which is her faith, which preaches deception, loss and duplicity as the only certain factors in life.

Gale is an inveterate people-pleaser desperately dependent on other people to help him feed his magic addiction, with his overtly affable exterior hiding a rolling boulder of guilt, ambition, greed, arrogance and legitimate hurt. Asterion is... well, no way to really lay out his deal without spoiling, but the boy has been through it and his self-destructive, hedonistic and selfish impulses are all coping mechanism and self-defense all the time.

None of that make their shitty behaviours okay, but in a fictional story, those kinds of flaws and toxic behaviours are what make for interesting stories and characters. I don't blame anyone for finding Lae'zel unpleasant and abrasive, but I do get a bit Old Man Yells At Cloud about people who casually brag about shoving her off a cliff-side, or murdering her because "she was a bitch" or whatever.

Like... being unable to face discomfort in your media is not a virtue, and lashing out reactively against fiction that doesn't validate your power fantasy isn't a flex.

Of course, I saw a lot of those reactions in YouTube comments and on social media, so my sample is biased by those algorithms, but still. A lot of people seem aggressively proud that they never engaged with her story because the terrified indoctrinated child-soldier wasn't immediately nice to them and I can't explain it but something about that reaction feels puritan to me.

#tbskyen #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #laezel #lae'zel #Youtube

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impish-baby · 9 days ago

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Yandere Omega father x beta reader how would you perceive this?

I am thinking..single omega father that is completely out of mind, the only thing he knows for certain is that he loves you more than anything!

You're his gift, his pride and joy, the one blessing he was given out of years of strife

He doesn't mean to make things hard for you, truly, it's just that you're his baby! You shouldn't have to lift a finger around the house, don't worry, dad has it covered (and if you have a tough time getting a starter job because you're embarrassed that you don't know how to do basic tasks, you where silly for wanting to work in the first place)

Dating has been a no-go for him for a very long time, omega father needed all his attention to be on you, it's important for pups to have lots of care! Really, he just despises the idea of anyone else taking on a parental role in your life

If he were to ever start dating again, he's so nitpicky that there's rarely a second date if he even got through the first. He gets so anxious being away, his poor puppy is home by themselves :(( they have to be devested that he isn't there with them, he can just imagine them curled up in his nest waiting for him to get back like a good kid.. (insert shot of reader having the time of their life chugging energy drinks and watching all the movies that were 'too inappropriate'... jk, the weirdo probably has nanny cams everywhere)

He isn't above the worst kinds of manipulation to get you to stay with him

Sobbing, choking on air breakdowns that make you worry to the core.. bawling his eyes out about you not caring about him, hating him (you just wanted to visit a friend)

Escalating, especially if it's about you eventually moving out. He's desperate, fear clawing at his chest as he sobs that he should just die then, that he'll wither away because his precious baby doesn't want their dumb father anymore

Sometimes, the bouts swing into fits of anger that have you crying. He doesn't yell, not really, but who wants the only parent they have telling them that they gave up their entire lives for them and now you're throwing all that away? That it's your fault your dad suffered for years, didn't eat because he had to make sure you did, and here you are walking away like he means nothing to you, ungrateful brat..

He never means it, of course! It's just that.. dad gets really upset when you talk about things of that nature, sweetie, and it is true to an extent that he sacrificed everything for you, weren't you being a little selfish now that you think about it? Come here, he'll dutifully wipe away those yucky tears so you can go cuddle and forget what a stupid thing you said, it's like nothing ever happened! :D

#platonic yandere #famial yandere #platonic yandere x reader #yandere x reader #platonic yandere omegaverse #you've got mail! 📨

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4everdramaqueen · 1 year ago

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Loki X Reader

Summary: Loki saves you from President Loki and then falls for you.

Warnings: none, just fluff.

Loki sat down with the other variants, still confused he listened to each one of them, their lives, how they ended up where they ended up but something had struck Loki. They all spoke of Y/N, how beautiful she was, how kind she was, how equally mischievous she was and Loki felt a bit left out. In his timeline, there was no Y/N, he hadn't even heard of the name till just now.

"She was beautiful, the sweetest little mortal I had ever seen.." Classic Loki said with a smile, but his smile faded. "I never knew what became of her after I abandoned her on earth, I imagine she must have passed by now." He said earning sympathetic looks from the others. Boastful Loki chimed in now to say that his Y/N was equally as beautiful and sweet but when he killed Captain America and Iron Man she had left him.

"I didn't have a Y/N" Kid Loki said, Classic Loki turned to him and explained that he most likely would have met her when he was older. Even Alligator Loki had a Y/N! This was a lot to take in for Loki but he wondered, how come he didn't have a Y/N? Of course, he had lovers yes but never a companion, a wife, especially not a mortal one. For a moment, he felt saddened by this almost, as if he missed out on something he never knew he had. As time had gone on, Loki had devised an escape plan, of course nobody was willing to help with this plan of his so he was on his own but when he had left the hideout, he was met with another Loki, of course.

President Loki, arrogant, mean, selfish and narcissistic. With an army of other Loki variants by his side and the betrayal from Boastful Loki who had been helping President Loki, this was all too much. It seemed like an absolute nightmare.

In the midst of all the chaos, Loki noticed something or rather someone by President Loki's side, a beautiful girl in a tight fitted and very revealing dress and large heels that she had honestly looked uncomfortable in as she wrapped her arms around herself, her face filled with dismay. Loki watched her, watched as she shifted uncomfortably when President Loki spoke, until finally, his own army had betrayed him causing him to use this girl as a shield. Loki watched as President Loki's army heisted with their weapons now.

"Let's all just calm down, shall we? We wouldn't want to hurt Y/N would we?" President Loki said in a manipulative tone, Classic Loki glared at him and the rest of the Lokis did the same. Y/N whimpered slightly as a dagger was held to her throat, tears in her eyes. "Please..." She said in a raspy voice, President Loki shushed her harshly and attempted to back up slowly but another Loki held a knife to his back, President Loki sighed before pushing Y/N forward harshly making her fall to the ground with a loud thud, chaos ensued as now all the Lokis were fighting each other. Loki watched all this in horror and confusion before looking at the ground and seeing Y/N, she was going to get trampled if she stayed on the ground any longer, so Loki acted quickly, he ran over and with his magic pushed everyone away from her, before grabbing her bridal style and quickly carrying her away. Classic Loki looked at him before yelling "Get her out of here!" And so he did.

Once safely away from the others, he put her down gently and just stared at her. She was beautiful, like the other Lokis had said, but she seemed freighted, tired and was covered in bruises. "Are you alright?" Loki asked finally, Y/N looked up with a fearful look in her eyes, tears swelling up and she slowly backed up. She was scared. He noticed this right away and tried to reassure her everything was okay. "I promise you, I'm not going to hurt you." He said, but after he said it he was sure she had heard that one before and he was afraid he had made himself seem more threatening. Y/N shivered as she stared at the ground, not saying anything. Quickly, Loki conjured up a blanket for her that warmly wrapped around her shoulders. Y/N looked at it in confusion before her face softened and she looked at Loki with a small smile. "Thank you" she said quietly with a small smile, he smiled back. "No problem, I imagine you must be freezing in that." He said referring to her tiny revealing dress, her face saddened slightly and Loki was afraid he had messed this all up again, why was he getting so nervous? He had never acted like this before.

"it's what President Loki wants, so it's what I have to wear." She says sadly, Loki gave her a sympathetic look. "Well, I'm sure you won't have to worry about him ever again. I can conjure you up a new outfit if you'd like, just tell me what you want." He smiled. Y/N smiled, asking for pants and a shirt and some shoes, she didn't mind dresses, just not the ones President Loki liked. Y/N thanked Loki but soon went quiet again now making Loki awkwardly go quiet, she seemed like she had her guard up, still on the fence about Loki imagining he would betray her at any second.

"I'm Loki, by the way." Loki said stupidly in his attempt to calm Y/N down, she turned to him and giggled. "I figured." She joked sarcastically, Loki smiled, a light blush on his face. Why was he acting like this? On Asgard, he had many and it was easy for him but now, here he was making an absolute fool of himself. "I'm Y/N." She introduced herself putting a hand out for Loki to take and he did, her soft warm hand warming up loki's very cold hand making his heart do a strange little beat. "I know, I've heard a lot about you." He once again stupidly, or so he thought. "Well, not of you specifically but just, versions of you?" He said in a confused tone. Y/N smiled and finally began to start talking and getting more comfortable. Loki had explained how he got stuck in The Void and she explained the same.

"You sacrificed yourself for your Loki?" He was stunned, he could not imagine anyone sacrificing themselves for him. Y/N nodded her head. "Yes, and I was relieved to not be dead but I'm not sure if trapped in a void with millions of other Loki variants is really a step up, no offense of course." She joked. "None taken." He smiled. And there began their friendship, Loki traveled and protected Y/N wherever they went in his attempt to get back to the TVA, he had conjured her new clothes everyday and did everything to make her comfortable and it was then that he understood why all the Lokis had their own Y/N and loved her so dearly because he himself was beginning to fall for her.

As the days had gone on, they had found Kid Loki, Classic Loki and Alligator Loki and began traveling with them as well and they were all happy. They had their own hideout now and they all in their own way adored Y/N, especially Loki who had begun to fall for her more and more every single day but refused to say anything until Classic Loki had had enough.

"Uno!" Y/N giggled, Y/N had made Loki conjure up an Uno deck for them to play together, she taught him the rules and he quickly understood, truthfully, he had been letting her win this whole time just to see her smile and arrogantly, but of course jokingly, taunt Loki. Y/N yawned afterwards. "Alright guys, I think I'm gonna get some rest, I'm exhausted." She smiled and said all her goodbyes, but as she turned to Loki, she gently for a second put her hand on his and smiled as she told him goodnight. "Goodnight, Y/N." He said softly with a smile, as she turned to walk to her bed Loki's face was almost saddened, like he couldn't stand to be away from her. Kid Loki looked at both Alligator Loki and Classic Loki with a smirk. When Y/N was finally away where she couldn't hear anything, that's when the teasing began from Kid Loki and Classic Loki.

"Goodnight Y/N." Kid Loki mocked, Loki turned his gaze to Kid Loki and gave a slight scowl. "What?" He said, "You're in love with her! Why don't you just tell her already?" Kid Loki said, and oddly, Loki tried to deny it. "I am not." He said, it was now Classic Loki's turn to chime into the conversation. "Of course you are, Loki's love their Y/N's and you are no exception. Besides that, you're making it fairly obvious." Classic Loki said making Kid Loki snort before completely dying of laughter and mocking Loki. Even Alligator Loki found this all amusing. Loki shot them all a glare. "I have no idea what you're all talking about!" He said defensively but even he didn't believe his own words.

"It's best you just tell her before it's too late," Classic Loki said, his expression turning serious. "One thing about Loki's and Y/N's is that it's destined for tragedy." Classic Loki said making Loki not feel very confident. "Don't let that tragedy be you not telling her your feelings and regretting it later on." Now this was more convincing and so that was Loki's plan, he was going to tell her! He stood up out of his chair with a big smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" Classic Loki asked as he looked up at Loki, "I'm taking your advice and telling Y/N my feelings towards her." Loki said in an almost confused tone, "Not right now you fool, let the poor girl sleep first." Classic Loki said, Loki had completely forgotten she had just gone to bed. "Right." Loki said before sitting back down, Kid Loki rolled his eyes and shook his head.

The next morning Y/N woke up early, she came out to see all the Loki's around just talking. "Good morning everybody!" She smiled, Classic Loki and Kid Loki said their good mornings with a smile, Alligator Loki moved his tail around with what looked like a smile and Loki avoided eye contact which was strange and Y/N noticed it immediately. So, she walked up to him specifically. "Good morning Loki." She said, he finally turned to her and looked at her almost frightened. "Hi." He said simply and awkwardly, Kid Loki and Classic Loki sighed in the background. "Hi?" Y/N said raising an eyebrow staring at Loki suspiciously, something was wrong with him.

They stared at each other, the silence in the hideout was uncomfortable and awkward so Y/N excused herself and went outside for some fresh air. Once gone, they all turned to Loki with a look of disappointment. "Hi? Is that the best you could come up with?" Classic Loki asked, "I panicked okay?!" Loki said running his fingers through his hair and sighing, he shook his head and tried to think.

"Just go talk to her like you normally would." Kid Loki said, that was great advice. "Talk to her like you normally would." Loki repeated to himself, he nodded his head before leaving the hideout and immediately seeing Y/N there laying in the grass, wind blowing in her hair and her arms wrapped around herself, Loki once again conjured her a nice warm and cozy green blanket, it startled her slightly as she looked down at it before turning her head behind her. Loki sat down next to Y/N and smiled. "Thank you." She smiled, "Of course." He said.

The awkward silence had returned once more and now Y/N was beginning to wonder what was wrong, was it her? Whenever President Loki had gotten silent with her it usually meant that she had done something to upset him, was Loki upset at her? She frowned and turned to him.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked suddenly, Loki stared at her with a look of confusion. "What?" He asked. "Did I do something wrong?" She repeated "To upset you, because if I did I'm sor-" Loki felt horrible, had he made her feel bad? "What?! No, no not at all it's just.." he paused and Y/N stared. Loki sighed wishing the words would just come to him. "It's not you, it's me." Loki said, Y/N raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh jeez thanks." She said sarcastically and Loki cursed at himself, he put a hand on Y/N' s shoulder gently.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. Look, what I'm trying to say is." But he couldn't, he had never felt such an anxiety before but Y/N had never been more confused.

"Loki-"

"I love you."

Y/N blinked, the words not really registering in her brain. "What?" She said, Loki sighed. "I...I love you Y/N, I really do and I've been lying to myself for awhile now but I can deny no longer." It was now Y/N's turn to go speechless and awkwardly silent which only made Loki's anxiety worsen. With every passing moment of her not saying anything, Loki felt his heart breaking.

"Y/N, my dear, please say something-"

"I love you too Loki."

"What?" He said not believing the words he was hearing. "I love you Loki, I think from our first interaction I really fell for you and I just didn't think you'd feel the same." She confessed and Loki was stunned by this. "How could I not? I mean, you're sweet, intelligent, cunning and absolutely beautiful. I absolutely adore you and everything about you Y/N." She blushed at this and rested her head on Loki's shoulder, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer resting his head on hers.

"Well, look at that, now you have your own Y/N, now you're not missing out." She joked, Loki chuckled and could feel his heart beating faster, his face turned a bit serious and he looked down at her.

"Do I?" He asked.

"Do you what?"

"Have you?" He clarified, Y/N knew exactly what he was asking, in his own words and smiled. "If you want me, I'm all yours." She said, Loki put his hand gently on her cheek. "Of course I want you Y/N." He said staring into her eyes lovingly, he smiled when she smiled. "Then I'm all yours." She said and Loki's heart soared. Loki couldn't help but look down at her lips, and she did the same until finally, they connected in a sweet and passionate kiss.

"Finally!" They both heard making them break the kiss, they turned their heads to see Kid Loki and Alligator Loki staring at them with smiles.

"Go away!" Loki shouted back, Kid Loki put his hands up in a fake surrender. "Sorry," he said with attitude, "I'll leave you two to your makeup session then." Kid Loki said before going back into the hideout making Loki sigh and Y/N giggle.

#Loki Fluff #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki oneshot #loki x you #loki headcanons #loki laufeyson #loki #loki fluff #loki series #tva loki #loki x y/n #loki imagines #loki x female reader #tom hiddelston loki #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 4 months ago

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Okay, I actually really like this. And I can say why.

"But Dana isn't it hypocritical to Like Lunar's 'villain arc' while disliking Nexus's?"

Not really. Because what Lunar is doing is consistent with his character. Which is, entirely selfish motivations as he has always had before, and I'll explain Lunar's motivations and why he makes a better compelling villain arc. And who knows, maybe Lunar will rush back and say he's sorry after one or two episodes when Nexus didn't.

But Nexus/N!Moon grieving over someone he loved, everyone assuming he's evil and them making a heel turn into 'irredeemable evil' I didn't like because it was contradictory to the past year we spent with N!Moon and unintentionally felt like it villainized grieving in an ugly way. And I've expressed the dislike of All of Nexus's worst fears coming true. He believes his family doesn't understand, they treat him like villain immediately. He thinks he's easily replaceable and not as talented as the Old Moon. Old Moon comes back, replaces him, is accepted immediately and was proven to be intellectually superior to N!Moon. He thinks he's broken that he's beyond repair and can't be fixed. Earth gave up on him really quickly despite being aware of his coping mechanisms (lashing out) (even before the "collateral damage" thing) Ruin lied and manipulated him and killed Solar. Nexus never wanted to be manipulated again.... D!Sun put the plans in place that he was the perfect pawn in an interdimensional sacrifice to get the outcome he wanted. Nexus wanted his family to join him and understand him. No one understood him and he died at the hands of his own brother.

Nexus died with all his worst fears and nightmares confirmed true. It's honestly tragic and horrible.

NOw.... Lunar. Getting into this little bean. Has a far more compelling reason to be corrupted by Negative star power. That is consistent with his character and just doesn't replace Lunar with... Lexus or something.

So Lunar was just told recently by Taurus and Gemini, that he has reached the precipice of his training and neither will train him anymore. With his mental block on his trauma and Eclipse and just apathetic to everything, he can't tap into his emotions or power. Understandably, Lunar is frustrated by this and feels no one is listening to him and feels his partner is being demeaning (they're not. And it's not about him. But Lunar is to selfish to get that.)

People often don't understand that Gemini does not try to be intentionally demeaning to Lunar. They do not have human emotions like we do, or even the animatronics do. They operate at a different level beyond our human comprehension, So I don't place Astrals into mortality boxes. And Lunar, is still a very childish and selfish character, and seems to not understand their partner. Even if they do like them a whole lot. They just don't understand them at a fundamental level. It's hard to have an emotional connection to someone who doesn't have human emotions, (or who is just starting to feel emotions in small doses but that's just a theory) and Lunar does not have the patience or emotional maturity to deal with someone who operates like that.

So Rez puts it out there for Lunar to get stronger then they are willing to train him and SO OF COURSE Lunar would jump at that because he feels infantilized and has felt that way by his partner for a long time. Keep it in mind, Gemini does not do this intentionally, and makes this clear to Lunar MANY TIMES over the entire course of the year they have been interacting.

Not to mention, Sun killing Nexus disturbed something across dimensions. It's as I said when Nexus first turned to the dark side. It's like all Moon's destiny is to inherently be doomed by ambition. Lunar included in that. Lunar following in Nexus's footsteps. Because those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it. And Lunar is the prime example. And this is horrible. Maybe it's hypocritical of me to like Lunar's heel turn into a Sasuke arc. But this is on a path of destiny that needs to break. And that's why I think I find it a bit more compelling from a character motivation and writing stand point. So. Yes. Lunar abandoning his family when they need him. Horray!!!

I think I just like it because it is consistent with all of Lunar's characterization up to this point. And because he did not care or know what was going on with Nexus, he will get corrupted by the NSP too. Who knows, maybe Lunar will gain a new found sympathy for Nexus knowing how Dark Star Power fucks with your head and insecurities.

#tsams #laes #full disclosure i was drinking when I typed this so the second half might sound less coherent then the first half #danachan's rants #Sun and Moon show #Lunar and Earth show

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very-straight-blog · 10 months ago

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It really tires me how some fans try to make Aegon look like an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character as such. Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season.

We know that Aegon didn't want the throne and wasn't ready to rule. The scene with Alicent, who explains to him the prospects for the future of their family, seems very traumatic to me. Imagine what it's like to know from your childhood that the lives of people close to you depend on you, on how strong you'll be. Such a burden can destroy anyone. You can't just ignore it.

Next, we're shown how Aegon drinks on Driftmark. And that's a pretty sad sight - several cups in a row, wincing, as if taking a medicine that will help him to feel better.

Actually, I like the theory that he gets drunk after Aemond says that Helaena is his future queen. Another reminder that he'll have to marry his own sister, for whom he has no feelings. And he drinks because he tries to numb his pain.

The same goes for his obviously unhealthy attitude towards sex - he uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.

Then it's impossible not to remember the eighth episode and the famous:

It's still clear that family is important to him. Yes, he feels like a stranger among his relatives, but it hurts him just because he cares. He cries and says "it will never be enough for you or father" because he wants it to be enough. He still loves them and wants them to love him back.

"What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Esquire

Next, we can move on to episode nine and the fact that Aegon ran away. I've seen a lot of opinions that this is an indicator of selfishness and like...what? He was scared. This follows from the script:

He was scared, he'd never leave his family, much less Sunfyre. It was a decision made in a panic when he realized that his father had died and the moment he had feared all his life had come - he needed to accept the crown to protect his family.

During the conversation in the carriage, we see that Aegon was really hurt that his father didn't love him:

He even said "because he didn't like me" when talking about his father's attitude towards him. He didn't use the word "love" because it was obvious to him that his father didn't love him. He used the word "like", unknowingly emphasizing that he couldn't count on even simple sympathy.

He's also well aware that Viserys could have named him the heir, but didn't do so simply because he didn't want to and because of this, he - the eldest son, feels unworthy of the throne, and also completely lost.

When Alicent tells him that Viserys wanted to make him the heir before his death, an emotional dam breaks inside him, it's literally written in the script:

And at this moment, looking at the dagger, he's not even listening to Alicent, he's completely in his thoughts - maybe, at least for a second, his father cared about him. And when he asks his mother if she loves him, we see how much he craves love, how broken he really is, how important his family is to him.

I know this post is insanely long and I haven't even analyzed the various microexpressions in Tom's acting, but I'm really tired of people wanting to make Aegon something pure evil.

"I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Entertainment Weekly

#aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #tom glynn carney #house of the dragon #hotd #team green #pro team green #THIS POST ATE MY SOUL #opinion

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sakashq · 3 months ago

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Love Drought. jude bellingham x fem!reader

🤍 summary: After his move to Real Madrid, Jude hasn’t been the same loving boyfriend you once had.

🤍 wc: 600+

🤍 warnings: y/n usage. I HATE IT. oh and angst! sorry guys 💕💕💕

🤍 yap! this is based on my current situation i fear 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ i swear this is the last time i’ll bring my ex into my work💔

🤍 my girls <3 EXTRA SPECIAL dedication to @hrts4havertz because she is jude’s wife i fear. and to @ar4ujos @halfwayhearted @iovepoem @joaoflms &&. @planetpedri

Flexibility was always something you were capable of. So when your boyfriend Jude signed a contract for a team in Spain, of course you agreed to make the move for him. You loved the beauty of Spain anyway and ended up residing in the heart of the country. Besides, if things didn’t work out, you would still want to live here. You had made new friends and gotten a better job than the one back in Germany — life was just better in Spain.

Until it came time for him to actually play for the team. With Dortmund, Jude was amazing at balancing both you and his career. But now at this higher-level club, it seemed like he had just pushed you aside and only worried about his new club. It was great that he was focused on making the team proud, but that left zero time for you. Whenever he was home (he was always out with his new teammates), he’d barely acknowledge you and brush things off. Your friends called it the “Madrid curse.” Once signing with the team, they brainwash you. Obviously it was a silly joke, but sometimes it lingered in the back of your mind. Was this club destroying your relationship?

You never brought it up because you didn’t wanna seem selfish. He’s focusing on his career, he’s doing big things! That’s amazing, is it not? If you brought it up, it’d just make you seem like a jealous girlfriend. Even if you kind of were.

It got to the point where dates didn’t happen either. Someone who used to try and take you out once a week now only glanced at you once a week, every other time getting ready for football or hanging out with his new football friends. It was all him, him, him. Never any time for you.

Okay, that’s fine. He’s trying to establish relationships with his new teammates. But what about the relationship he already had? The one with his loving and loyal girlfriend that moved across the continent for him? Why was there no time for her?

For the first time in ages, the two of you were sat on the couch together. You sat away from him, sitting in nothing but silence. He looked over at you, raising a brow.

“What’s the matter with you?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Nothing,” you mumbled. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t seem too fine. Talk to me,” he responded, his body now turned and facing you.

You stared blankly at him, unsure if you really wanted to talk to him right now. You sighed, deciding communication was probably needed in this situation. “You barely have time for me anymore. I get it, you’ve joined a new club and you need to bond with your teammates. But do you really need to every night?”

He looked at you, almost as if he was going to laugh. “So you’re jealous of Vini, Aurélien, and Eduardo is what I’m hearing?”

“Jude, I’m being serious.” You looked at him, your face and body language very solemn.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Okay, hear me out. You get ready, dress and wear whatever you want however you want and I take you wherever you wanna go.”

You frowned saying, “You don’t get it. Weeks of craving your attention, and you think it’ll just be resolved by one date. It’s just gonna go back to the way it was afterwards.”

“Well what do you want me to do, Y/n? I’m trying here,” his voice raised a little, startling you. “I can’t make time for Madrid and you.”

Your face dropped, your heart going with it. If you weren’t upset then, you definitely were now. What did he mean by that? “So you could with Dortmund but you can’t now because it’s a slightly bigger club? You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“It’s a lot more draining with Madrid, Y/n. You don’t get it,” he shrugged.

“No, I get it. It’s fine, do what you wanna do. You’re gonna realize how good you had it when it’s gone.” You got up from the couch, grabbing your car keys off the coffee table and heading for the door.

Jude got up, ready to chase after you immediately. “Y/n, come on, we can talk about this. Y/n.”

You opened the door, shutting it behind you. Jude followed not too long after.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. Okay, that was a dickhead move. But you leaving doesn’t solve the problem,” he told you. He had a point, sure, but you were mad at him. No way he was gonna win. He was just worried about whether or not you’d be coming back. He loved you dearly, even if he wasn’t currently showing. You leaving upset with him destroyed him. The thought of something happening to you while you were still mad at him paralysed him. He didn’t know if he’d ever forgive himself if something happened.

“Okay, what?” You turned around.

“Come back inside,” he pleaded, his brown eyes begging with him.

Not giving in to his pleas you replied, “No. I can’t get a conversation with you and now you wanna talk. I’m done trying.”

“I know, I know, I fucked up. I didn’t mean what I said, I was just… saying stuff. I don’t want to lose you.” Your heart broke seeing his face, shattering into a million different pieces. Maybe he really wanted to try, or maybe this was just a manipulative move to get you to stay. Either way, you couldn’t help but feel awful. “Please just talk to me.”

You sighed, not responding but walking back over to him. And after a lengthy conversation, everything was okay again. It wasn’t like how it was before, but things were starting to look up. You two agreed to communicate more and take days off just to spend it with each other. After all this, it ended right where it started— the two of you sitting on the coach together, this time with you in his arms.

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x fem!reader #jude bellingham x you #football #laliga #la liga #real madrid #england nt #sakashq

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narrycherries · 3 months ago

Text

call it what you want ✨ part 7

Harry’s starting to feel the pressure..

masterlist

word count: 9.4k

warnings/tags: harry x reader, best friends to lovers, angst, smut, f receiving, secret relationship

The past few weeks did not play out in your favor. You were only able to see Harry a few times, and each time was shorter than the previous one. It was almost like the world was working against you, instead of for you. One of your mutual friends, Heidi, was getting married this weekend so there have been a lot of things going on. Last weekend, you went on the bachelorette trip. Her fiancé was not really close to Harry, so he opted to not go on the bachelor’s trip. Besides, he had a ton of stuff he had to do regarding his internship. He got an easy excuse, you didn’t have that. You were a part of the wedding party, so you felt obligated to go. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to celebrate, it was solely the fact you were spending yet another weekend away from Harry that you hated.

Now, it’s finally the night of the wedding and you were excited. Of course it was a celebratory night for your friend, but it was also the night you were finally free to see Harry. You knew that once the wedding was over, you would be going with him - most likely to his place. Of course, he made sure to let you know that you had no choice. He was sick of being away from you, and he was craving your company.. as well as the intimacy.

The wedding ceremony was being hosted at a pretty chapel. You were waiting patiently for the service to start, as was Harry. He was sitting next to your other friends in a pew, waiting to see you enter the room. Sure, he was happy for Heidi, but he was more concerned with you.

“Alright, everyone. We’re about to start!” The wedding planner, who was a relative of Heidi’s, announced with a big clap.

You perked up, thinking about how quick this will be. You were desperate to see Harry. You could hardly text him today. You were getting ready, taking photos, and helping with last minute things before people arrived. Your phone was put away in your bag and you were unable to answer it. Harry hated being away from you, but he was trying not to be selfish. Heidi was a close friend of yours, more so than she was to him, and he knew this was an important event. It wasn’t about him.

Before you even realized it, you were walking down the aisle with your arm locked with the groomsman you were paired with. It was the groom’s cousin, but you didn’t know him. Your eyes struggled to stay ahead of you as you fought to not scan the crowd for Harry. The chapel was filled to capacity, and you had no clue where he was sitting. You ignored the thought and stayed focused.

You were second to last in the wedding party, so you weren’t going to be able to look around for very long. You took the opportunity and searched the bride’s side of the chapel for Harry. You were starting to gain a little nervousness in your stomach as you struggled to find him.

Finally, after a solid minute of searching, you locked eyes with him. Unfortunately, you caught his tense stare and clenched jaw before he could make it disappear. He smiled as he realized you were looking at him. You gave him a gentle one in return, but a new fear was forming in your mind. Why was he looking that way? Did you do something? Surely not, you hadn’t seen him in a few days and you didn’t have any kind of fight.

Harry had made the face when he saw you come down the aisle with your arm around someone else’s. He wasn’t upset with you, he was just jealous that someone else was getting to touch you before he was - even though it wasn’t in any kind of serious, intimate, or meaningful way at all. He missed you and he was impatiently waiting to put his arms around you. That guy just ticked him off a little.

Thankfully, the ceremony went by pretty quickly. You tried to keep your mind off of Harry and on the bride and groom instead. It was a special day for your friend, she deserved to have your full attention. Harry, though, kept his eyes on you the entire time. He liked the way the light sage green color of the dress complimented your skin. The straps were thin, they were delicately laying over your shoulders. It was a little tight at the waist, which gave definition to your hips. The dress touched the floor, and he thought it looked wonderful on you. He kept having to swallow and bite down on his cheek as he thought about the body that was beneath all that fabric.

Once the ceremony had ended and the wedding party exited, the guests were instructed to go to the reception venue next door.

Harry was not happy about leaving without you, but he knew the faster he got it over with, the quicker he’d be able to see you. When he walked into the venue with the majority of your friend group, he was displeased to see the seating arrangements. Everyone was allowed to sit wherever they pleased, except for at the tables designated for the wedding party. He was annoyed that he wouldn’t be able to sit with you. He would have to get over it, though, there wasn’t anything he could do to change that.

There wasn’t much he could do other than wait. So that’s what he did. He sat with his hands resting on his lap while his friends talked amongst themselves. They all couldn’t fit at one table, so they were occupying the ones around, too. Harry was sitting with Austin, which wasn’t ideal, but he had no other choice. When the wedding party entered the venue, Harry perked up. He scanned the sea of dark brown tuxes and green dresses, trying to pick you out. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he saw you.

He smiled as he watched you walk around some of the tables, navigating yourself to where you saw your friends were. You hadn’t seen him just yet, but you saw Stephanie standing up. You were clutching some of your dress in your hand, trying to keep it off the ground and prevent yourself from tripping. Harry wished he could escort you to the table, to help you out so you weren’t so nervous about walking - but of course, he couldn’t do that right now.

When you finally picked your head up, your moved your eyes around and unexpectedly caught his stare. Your cheeks caught flames and you decided to walk a little faster. He stood up to greet you as you approached the table. Luckily, Austin had excused himself to the bathroom and everyone else was so caught up in talking that they didn’t pay you any mind.

“Hi!” You squealed happily as your arms wrapped around his torso.

He laughed a little as his arm went around your back. He didn’t want to overdo it, so one arm was all you got.

“Hey, you look stunning.” He whispered into your ear, wishing you were alone with him.

“Thanks.” You said through a sigh, slightly embarrassed but you weren’t sure why.

“I’ve been waiting all day to see you.” He kept his voice low as you pulled away from his hug.

“Yeah, same.” You glanced around quickly, just to make sure nobody was watching. “I’m so tired of this dress and these stupid heels.”

Harry smirked, bringing his hand up to your waist almost instinctively. “You look great.”

“Harry.” You muttered quietly and pushed his hand down. You took a few steps back and slipped a piece of your hair behind your ear. “Too much.”

“Right, sorry.” He quickly apologized and sat back down in his chair, but he stayed facing you. “Do you have more bridesmaids duties?”

“Not a lot more.. just gotta sit over there.” You said while looking over your shoulder towards the table.

“Maybe I’ll get to see you again.”

You let out a breath and closed the space you shared with him. You couldn’t do anything too obvious or drastic, so you just sat your hand on his shoulder. He looked up at you, a disappointed expression on his handsome face. You frowned, not liking the fact he was upset. You were literally an inch from him, but he couldn’t touch you.

“It won’t be too long.. once the dancing starts.. we can talk. Just gotta do all the wedding stuff first.” You told him with a gentle smile, trying your best to convince him it would be okay, but you weren’t sure he was listening.

“Unless someone sweeps you away.”

Your eyes darted around again, making sure it was clear. You leaned down to his ear, not really caring if any strangers were watching - as long as none of your friends were.

“I won’t let that happen, I promise.” You placed a kiss on his ear.

When you leaned back up, Harry grunted and reached out for your hand. You let him take it for just a few seconds before you started to back up. He dropped it, his heart breaking as he realized you were about to leave.

“I gotta get over there before they announce the bride and groom.” You nodded your head towards your brother, who was walking back to the table. “Besides, your friend is back.”

Harry huffed as you turned away from him and began the journey to your designated table. He watched you walk away - admiring how nice your long hair looked while it was curled. Half of it was pulled back in a sparkling clip, but it all cascaded down your back. Before he knew it, you vanished in the crowd.

Harry put on his best performance for his friends while he waited for his chance to see you again. Dinner consisted of a long table of food options where the guests served themselves. He ate some of his food, but he was mostly distracted. He didn’t want to look suspicious, so he didn’t stare in your direction the entire time. The special wedding festivities were over now, and the guests were invited to go into the next room to dance and have fun. There was an open bar, and Harry was ready to throw a shot down his throat. He was tense and anxious, he just needed something to lift the edge off.

“What can I get you?” The bartender asked with a welcoming smile.

“Um, shot of whiskey.. whatever you got.” He said with a sigh, leaning his arm on the bar as he waited.

He stared at the marble counter top as his shot was being poured. He was wondering where you were. Surely, there were no more photos that needed to be taken or small things that you had to do for the bride. He wasn’t sure, all he knew was that he was very impatient.

“Thanks.” He said as he took the small plastic shot glass and threw the contents into his mouth. “Can I get another? Then I’ll be outta your way.”

“Got it.” She smiled back.

He wasn’t aware that you were standing not very far from him, watching as he took the second shot and emptied it into his mouth. He decided to ask for a mixed drink, so he waved the bartender back over. You knew that sometimes he overdid it, and you didn’t want that to happen tonight. You quickly walked his way. He had already had two glasses of wine, so he was getting a bit warm. He wanted to take off his suit jacket, but he didn’t.

“Be careful, whiskey makes you a little rowdy.” You said suddenly, appearing next to him with your hand on his back.

He jumped at first, but then grinned as he realized it was just you. “Finally.”

You let out a laugh as his arms snaked around your body. Luckily, the majority of the guests were taking advantage of the dance floor - including all of your mutual friends.

“Missed you so much.” You whispered into his ear as your arms went around his neck. You felt more comfortable hugging him this way now than you did earlier. There were too many eyes on you before.

“I missed you way more.” He mumbled back, pressing a kiss to your jaw before letting you go. Despite knowing he wasn’t being observed by anyone that he knew, he didn’t want to overdo it.

“Am I going home with you tonight?”

He smirked, then lifted a brow. “Trying to get in my pants?”

“Shut up.” You gave him a gentle shove, but made sure you let your hand trail down his chest and abodomen afterwards. “You’re such a guy.”

“Look at you.” He said, gesturing to your body. “Can you blame me for thinking that way? You’re gorgeous.”

“Shut up, you’re too loud.”

He rolled his eyes, then grabbed your waist to pull you towards him. “Then get closer.”

“Stop before someone sees us.” You huffed back, looking over your shoulder to make sure nobody you recognized was around.

Harry moved his other hand up and gently grabbed your jaw. He shifted your head back, your eyes finding his instantly. “Relax.”

“No.” You pulled his hand down and took a step back - you didn’t want to, but you had to. “Save all this for later.”

He shook his head and looked down at the floor. “I’ve been waiting all week to see you.”

“I know.” You grabbed his hand, the one that was closest to the bar and not out where everyone could see. You laced your fingers with his and gave his hand a squeeze. “Later, okay?”

He rolled his eyes and kept them on the floor. You were surprised that he was acting this way, but you quickly remembered he had some alcohol in his system. He was probably solely thinking about you and nothing else - not even the environment you were in. If he were sober, he would be more subtle with his touches and smarter about his word choices.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered out after you became silent.

“I don’t think you need any more drinks.” You said through a sigh.

His eyes lifted to meet yours. “Why?”

“You’re acting too.. obvious.” The lift of your eyebrows didn’t effect him, he was still unsure.

“No, I’m not.”

“Just.. please, don’t do anything too crazy, okay? I don’t want.. people to see anything.”

He huffed again, almost like a child would, but gave you a nod. “Okay, I won’t. I’ll be on my best behavior, promise.”

“Thank you.” You rubbed your thumb over his skin before letting his hand go. “Now, do you wanna go find everyone else? We can dance.”

“Everyone else?” He mumbled out, a frown covering his lips.

You took a deep breath. “Harry, we have to act normal, okay? This is no different than any other situation.”

“You promised me you’d spend time with me once everything was done.” He furrowed his brows. You realized his words had a little anger in them.

“Harry, we can have some private time here and there, but we have to interact with everyone else.”

He shook his head in disbelief, then turned to face the bar. You hit your hand against his arm but he was ignoring you. He lifted the cup to his mouth and swallowed the contents in seconds. He wasn’t a child, but you felt like scolding him.

“Fine. Then I’m going to act like everyone else.” He said with a cold tone as he waved to the bartender. She walked over to him and smiled. “Can I have some more whiskey.. on the rocks, please.”

“Just whiskey?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, then looked your way once the lady was occupied again. “Go have fun.”

“Harry.” You pouted your lips out, not pleased with how he was acting. “Please, don’t be this way.”

“I’m not being any kind of way. Just go have fun. Go dance, have a drink. We’ll worry about each other later.. at home.”

You were shocked by what he said, but you were more so disappointed in his attitude. You gulped softly and adjusted the strap on your shoulder as you walked away from him. Of course, you were upset. You wanted to cry your eyes out and beg him to stop being so mean towards you. Was it him actually being mean? Probably not. He was just annoyed, and you knew that and understood why, but still.. It hurt your feelings.

You disappeared before he knew it. He looked around, but you were gone from the room. You went to find your friend group in the ballroom, hoping that they were dancing and having a good time. You would just join them and try to forget about Harry.

Dancing with your friends was always a fun time. You felt like the last few times you were with everyone, you weren’t very active. Of course, that had a lot to do with your new intimacy with Harry. It wasn’t like you suddenly hated your friends, the anxiety of it all was just eating you up. Tonight was a chance for you to let go and have fun. You weren’t concerned with Harry right now. He’s a grown man, he can handle himself.

An hour went by without you seeing Harry again. You were mostly with your girl friends, so you were dancing and singing and having a few sips of champagne. You didn’t want to get drunk, so you just shared drinks with them. It was a fun time. Well, until you had to go to the bathroom.

You broke away from the group and headed back towards the dining room and bar. The bathrooms were through there, near the lobby. Your eyes were roaming around as you walked, just observing the decorations and the people. That’s when your attention froze on the bar. Harry was sitting on a stool, his head laying down on his arm. There was an empty cup in front of him, and as you got closer, you realized there were several empty cups.

“Harry?” You said his name sort of loud, the music was blaring through the building. You laid your hand on his shoulder blade and started gently rubbing his back. “Are you okay?” He lifted his head and you instantly felt your heart drop. He looked so sad. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

He shrugged, then looked to his empty cup. He tried to gesture the bartender over, but you quickly grabbed his hand and pulled it down. You shook your head towards her, and thankfully, she understood. She didn’t come over.

“Stop.” He huffed, trying to pull his hand from you but his efforts were weak. He didn’t want you to let him go, that’s why he didn’t try.

“Have you been here this whole time?” You asked with a frown, leaning your body onto his to be closer. Your hand went down to the small of his back. “Hmm?”

“Yeah.. cause you left me.”

“Harry, we can’t.. can’t act this way in public, okay?”

“We could.”

You knitted your brows together. “Well, we’re not.”

“Go back to everyone else. Go have fun.”

You let go of his hand and quickly grabbed his jaw. You moved his head so it was facing you again. He wanted you to stay like this, to not let him go again.

“Come to the bathroom with me.”

“What?” He seemed a little confused.

“We need to talk.” When you relaxed your brows and features, he noticed you seemed upset.

He didn’t say anything, just nodded and proceeded to stand up from the bar stool he had chosen an hour ago. You knew where all your friends were, so you confidently took hold of his hand and pulled him behind you towards the bathrooms.

You thought one escape to a public bathroom would all you’d share with him, but clearly not. To your advantage, the stalled bathroom was big but had a lock on the door. You turned the lock and let Harry finally wrap his big arms around you in the way he wanted to all night long, ever since he laid eyes on you walking down the aisle. You returned his embrace, not caring about messing up your hair or makeup at this point. The wedding photos were done with, you had no reason to be so concerned anymore. Harry squeezed you as hard as he could without hurting you, and that made you feel safe. He held you like that for a few solid minutes. Everything was okay for the first time in a while.

He stayed quiet, and so did you. There was nothing that needed to be said right now. You just had to feel his body against yours. Your eyes were bolted shut, and his were, too. He felt like he was on another planet - was it the alcohol, or was it you? He wasn’t sure, but he knew it was a different feeling than anything he felt tonight.

When he finally let you loose, you moved both hands up to his jaws. He was frowning, almost like he wanted to cry. He did, but he didn’t want you to think he was a loser for crying.

“Hey, you gotta tell me what’s going on, okay?”

He shrugged. “You already know.”

“Tell me.”

He huffed, looking away from you for a moment. “I hate having to pretend. It fucking sucks.”

“Harry.”

His lips turned to a frown and he leaned down so his lips were on your forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.. I know it’s not easy.” You mumbled back, letting one hand move into his hair while the other went to his chest.

“It was.. sorta easy at first.. but since we.. y’know.. I just want to touch you and kiss you all the time.”

What he was explaining to you was how you felt. The kissing situation made things very different, but it was somewhat more manageable to act normal in front of other people. Even after Harry had touched you intimately, things were easier than this. It’s different now - more than it’s ever been.

“And it’s been.. so long since we got to be together.”

“Do you remember how I was at the restaurant? We.. we can’t.. can’t be so emotional about this in public, okay? I know it’s super hard.” You pressed a kiss to his dimple, but he was too sad to appreciate it.

“It’s so hard.” He muttered out, feeling defeated from all of this. “M’trying to.. to be strong for you.. not disappoint you.”

You grabbed his jaw and pushed his head up so you could see his eyes. “I know, honeybun.”

For the first time in a while, he shot you a smile. “Honeybun?”

He was surprised by your use of a pet name. It was the first time you really called him anything like that, and he seemed to like it. His cheeks were flushed and his smile was contagious. You laughed a little while rubbing your thumb over his skin.

“You’re so sweet, hm? Just like a honeybun.”

“If you say so, peach.” He chuckled back, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders.

He looked down at your chest for a second, then to your lips. He wanted to suck your tongue down his throat, but he refrained. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that yet. Your hand moved to his neck, your thumb messing with his ear lobe. The feeling of your skin moving against his made his stomach churn in a good way.

“My eyes are up here.” You said suddenly, lifting his head up. He hadn’t noticed he was staring at your chest.

He let a smirk cover his mouth. “If you lean over.. you’re gonna be spilling out of that dress.”

You cocked a brow at him. “So you’re admitting to staring at my boobs?”

“Hmm.” He laughed under his breath, making you grin.

“What a creep.” You playfully rolled your eyes.

“Just be mindful, darling.. I’d hate for some stranger to see them tonight before I get to.”

You were not surprised by his words, and you were glad he was back to his normal self and not so upset anymore. “You’re so jealous, hm?”

“I have a good reason to be.”

“Is that so?”

He licked his lips and yanked you closer, his arm tight around your body. His mouth was brushing against yours, teasing you with every second that went by.

“Do you care about that lipstick?” He mumbled out, his lips pressing into yours already.

“No.”

His tongue practically shot into your mouth. You couldn’t resist the moan that came out as he started exploring each inch of your mouth. His hands didn’t hesitate to explore either. He was squeezing your butt with one while the other kept you pressed firmly against him.

After all these days of being unable to touch him like this, you were lost in the moment. Everything around you disappeared and nothing mattered. The world stopped spinning, it was just you and him.

“Harry.” You gasped out as he grabbed your waist on either side and lifted you off the ground.

“Shh.” He sat you down on the counter, his hands selfishly grabbing onto your body as he returned to your lips.

You didn’t protest, didn’t say a thing - just let him continue. You wanted to rip his jacket off and tear the buttons from his shirt, but you tried to control yourself and just worry about kissing him. He noticed how hard you were pulling on his clothes, though. He broke the kiss and immediately took hold of your face with his warm hand.

“I want you.. so bad.” He breathed out, trying to get his lungs to catch up.

“Not in the bathroom.” You let out a gentle laugh. “And.. not if you keep drinking, understand?”

He nodded. “Yeah.. I’ll stop, promise.”

You leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “Drink water.. eat something, okay?”

“I will, promise.”

Just as he was, you were trying to calm yourself down and catch your breath. Your hand slid up his chest to his shoulder. You adjusted his shirt collar, noticing how messed up you had caused it to get.

“You look.. really nice in this.” You told him with a sweet smile.

The dark grey suit looked nice on him. You admired how the shirt was a soft shade of blue instead of just plain white. The top two buttons were undone, so you could see the chain around his neck. You wanted to strip him, but now wasn’t the time.

“We should.. go back out there.” You said after a few moments of silence.

He licked his lips and nodded gently. “I guess so.”

You decided that it would be fine if you both approached your group of friends at the same time. There couldn’t possibly be any harm in that, or so you hoped. When you came up, you immediately made a joke about finding Harry stumbling over the bar stools. There were some laughs and snide comments, since it wasn’t unusual for him to get this way at events or celebrations.

He was trying to counter your claims, which just added more laughter to the group. It was a relief to hear that. There was still a bit of anxiety lurking about, but you hoped it would pass on. Everything went accordingly for the rest of the evening. You were focused on having fun with your girlfriends, dancing and singing to the music.

Harry was more involved in conversations as he casually looked around and gave you a few glances here and there. He wasn’t drinking anymore, the goal for the night had changed. He wanted to black out and forget it all - forget how upset he was and how much he missed you. Instead, he’s trying to let some of that alcohol fizzle away so he could appreciate you later on.

Once the wedding was over and you did your job of helping clean up some of the mess, Harry gladly volunteered to drive you home. Your roommate was gone for the weekend, so the destination was your place and not his. Besides, you wanted to be in the comfort of your own bed after such a long, exhausting day. But of course he actually didn’t drive his car, you weren’t drunk from the few sips you had.

“My feet are hurting so bad.” You groaned as you finally got to sit down on the foot of the bed. It felt like you had been standing in the for days.

“I could give you a massage.” Harry said with a cheeky smile as he knelt down to your feet. He swatted your hand away and took over removing the shoes. “You’d feel better.”

“That would be nice.” You raked your fingers through his scalp as you yawned. Unfortunately, you knew nothing would happen tonight. You were beyond exhausted and you wouldn’t be able to stay awake much longer. “Help me out of this dress and I’ll go wash my makeup off.”

“I’ll gladly help you out of it.” He chuckled to himself as he stood up and held his hand out for you.

“I don’t think.. I have the energy for anything.” The sigh you pushed out made him frown a little. “I’m sorry.”

He licked his lips and shrugged as he grabbed your waist and turned you around. “That’s alright. I know you’re tired.”

“I would love to, don’t get me wrong.. I just.. can’t tonight.”

There was something about seeing the disappointment in his eyes that made you feel horrible. You knew he was thinking about this all night, especially once he filled his body with alcohol. The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel bad, but there was simply nothing you could do to fix it. You were tired, your feet hurt, your back hurt - everything hurt. You just wanted to relax and go to sleep.

“I know. I said it’s alright, peach.” He said in a low voice as he swept your hair over your shoulder so he wouldn’t get any of it caught in the zipper. “We can make up for lost time tomorrow.”

“Please, don’t be mad.” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to make a wish or say a prayer or do whatever was necessary.

“I never said I was mad, babe.” He pressed a kiss to your back as he guided the straps of the dress down your arms.

Once it was off of your body, you picked it up and draped it over your arm. Harry was trying to control his mind as you walked across the room half naked. You put the dress on its hanger and stuck it in the closet, intending to deal with it in the morning. When you turned to face him, he was undoing his shirt and coming out of his clothes, too.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” You said as you approached him. He looked up and smiled as you snatched his hand and wrapped your fingers with his. “Do I still get a foot massage?”

“Of course, peach.” He winked, making a layer of blush rise to your cheeks. “You get whatever you want.”

You disappeared into the bathroom to take off your makeup and soak your tired body in a warm bath. Harry wanted you to have some alone time, even though he was desperate to be with you all night. It was different now, you were home. There was no hiding needed or secrets you had to keep up. It was just you and him.

Despite wanting to relax, you were becoming anxious to be with him. Your bath was quick, but it was decent. You mainly just wanted to soak your muscles and rinse the day off. Your hair was pulled up on your head, you’d deal with washing it in the morning.

When you finally came back to the bedroom, Harry was sitting at your vanity scrolling on his phone. You noticed the bed was made and he had emptied your hamper. You smiled sweetly and walked over to him.

“Massage time.” You giggled.

He looked up at you and smirked. “Yes ma’am.”

“Could you also give my calves a little rub? They’re hurting.”

Harry followed you to the bed, where you sat down on the end. “Sleeping naked tonight?”

“No, I’ll get dressed in a little bit.”

“So just going to tease me then? Won’t let me take care of you tonight.. but forcing me to stare at this towel?” His grin was contagious.

“Don’t be a cry baby.” You joked back. “I promise we can do whatever you want in the morning.”

He smirked. “Whatever I want? Hm, I’ll remember that.”

Harry spent a good ten to fifteen minutes rubbing his fingers deep into your feet and legs. You kept letting out soft hums and moans that stayed circling his mind. He wanted you so bad, but now wasn’t the time. He tried to stay focused as he massaged your sore muscles. He’s always offered to do this for you, way before anything changed. He had strong hands that made your tension melt like butter. You always took advantage of his massage offers.

When he was finished, he helped you rub lotion on your legs. He pushed the towel up a little so he could cover your thighs. He tried not to peek between your legs but it was hard to avoid. After that, you got off the bed and figured it was time to get dressed.

Harry grabbed his phone and sat down on the bed as he waited for you. Just as you slid a pair of underwear up your legs, you heard Harry sigh. You turned to face him, a t-shirt in your hand, in time to see him furrow his brows. He was looking at his phone.

“We’ve got a problem.” He said suddenly, lifting his head.

“What’s wrong?”

He didn’t seem to be angry, but he was definitely bothered by whatever he was reading. “Come look at this..”

You climbed on the bed and sat next to him, taking the phone. You crossed your legs and read over the text your brother just sent Harry. Instantly, your stomach dropped and you gulped slowly.

From Austin: Have you been alright lately? I saw you acting weird earlier.. like you didn't want to be around us when my sister was over there. The two of you having a cat fight? You’ve been weird about her lately.

You gulped harshly as you read over the words. You shook your head and gave the phone away. Harry tossed it on the mattress and huffed, unsure of what to do.

“You can’t reply to that.” You mumbled out.

He rolled his eyes. “I have to.”

Your heart was starting to race. Your brother never asked about your friendship with Harry. He didn’t care that you were super close. It hadn’t always been that way, but once it started he just accepted it. It was no big deal.. so, why is it suddenly coming up?

“Then lie. Say nothing’s wrong.” You shrugged, trying to stay calm. “I mean.. technically nothing’s wrong.”

“Well, he clearly thinks something is wrong.” He quickly replied, his tone was sharp.

“Who cares what he thinks? Just lie.”

He didn’t appear to be on board with what you were suggesting. He groaned and ran a hand through his messy hair. You weren’t sure why this was actually bothering him so much.

“What if he’s catching on?” He asked, turning his head to look at you.

From the corner of your eye, you could see his intense stare. But you kept your own eyes down and just shrugged your shoulders. There really wasn’t anything you thought you could say. What more could you do?

“Just lie to him, Harry. We lie about everything else.. what’s it matter now?” Saying it out loud brought some of that guilt back up.

You absolutely hated the fact you were keeping such a huge secret from your friends and your family, and that included your brother. As much as he pestered you, he was one of your best friends. Not only that, he’s Harry’s best friend aside from you. Lying to him about all of this isn’t ideal, but it’s what you wanted for the time being..

“If I lie and say nothing’s wrong and I keep acting however he thinks I’m acting.. he’s going to know I’m lying.” Harry started to sound more paranoid than you initially thought.

You let out a deep breath. “But nothing’s wrong. Just tell him you were tired and wanted to drink. He knows you were at the bar.”

“Yeah, but does he know you were with me first? What if he saw you?” He was quick to respond.

If anything, you had been observant all night. You knew for sure that none of your friends were around when you were with Harry. None of Heidi or the groom’s family knew you, so it’s not like somebody saw something and reported back to your brother. Harry was starting to be more anxious than you.

“He didn’t. Nobody we knew was in there, Harry. You’re being a bit.. dramatic.”

As you said that, he scoffed and tensed up next to you. Even though you weren’t touching, you could feel his body change. He didn’t necessarily want to be angry with you, but what you said sort of affected him.

“Oh, as if you haven’t been dramatic about this before.” His tone made you frown.

“I never said I haven’t been.. Why are you being so rude?”

Harry moved to the side of the bed. You watched closely, not sure if he was going to get up and disappear from your room or not. You didn’t want him to leave, especially not after you had to suffer all these days without seeing him.

“Because, you’ve been worrying about this and now it’s making me worry.” He finally spoke, his head hanging low as leaned over, his arms on his knees.

You didn’t know what to say. Maybe he was just having a hard time tonight and this was some of that lingering frustration from being apart from you. Normally, he was the calm one and you were the overthinker. You feared maybe you couldn’t help him.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Harry.” You reached over to touch his back, but as you did he shook you off and stood up. “Don’t.. don’t leave.”

“I just need a minute.” He muttered out, grabbing his phone from the bed. “I’ll.. think of something to tell him.”

“Harry.” You whispered out his name as he started walking towards the door.

“I’ll be back in a little while.”

As you watched him leave through the door, you felt a lump form in your throat. Something was different tonight and you weren't sure where things went wrong. What if you were too harsh with him at the wedding? You knew nobody was watching, yet you didn't allow him to do much. Maybe he thought you were being too serious about everything. Was it all finally coming back to bite you?

One of your biggest fears that had developed since this all started with him was starting to creep into your mind. You feared something would happen that would ruin your friendship. What if it was an argument? You rarely, if ever, argued with him before or even disagreed about things. Now, it seems more common for you to spat about something.. and each time it’s been about your situation. Was intimacy playing a larger role than you could’ve imagined? Was it truly going to ruin everything?

Tears swelled in your eyes as you sat in silence, the only noise being the thoughts racing in your head. You weren’t sure if he’d come back in the bedroom.. and you were too tired to wait up for him.

Although you were successful at falling to sleep, your anxiety was bubbling up and you found yourself waking up in the middle of the night. You reached behind you, gently patting the air until you touched his body. It was relieving to know he was behind you, even though he wasn’t cuddled up next to you. You turned onto your stomach, your elbows digging in the mattress as you battled the racing thoughts in your mind.

You and Harry had never really had a bad argument in the past, and despite the disagreement you had earlier not actually being that bad, you felt very upset. You had never gone to bed without him telling you goodnight, and it felt odd and unsettling.

A sigh fell from your lips as you grabbed your phone, wanting some light so you could see him. You opened your home screen and sat the phone on the pillow. There was a soft glow casted on him now, allowing you to see how adorable he looked. He was facing you, one arm under the pillow, his hair was a mess.. You smiled to yourself, admiring him was one of your favorite things to do. He was so perfect.

You thought maybe seeing him would make you feel better and ease some of the tension you held, but it was doing the opposite. A tear trickled down your cheek suddenly, followed by more and more as the seconds passed. Maybe you had been too rough with him earlier. He was seriously worried and anxious about the situation and your attempts at calming him must have been read wrong. It wasn’t your intention to upset him, and now it felt like you were falling apart.

You covered your face and tried to keep your crying silent. But it was difficult to stay quiet as you sucked in breaths and tried to control your quivering lips. After a few minutes, the sounds got louder and Harry could feel the bed moving slightly as your shoulders jolted with each breath. You were struggling.

“Peach?” He said softly in a groggy voice, melting your heart.

You sucked in a breath and quickly wiped your eyes and cheeks, hoping to rid your skin of the tears before he could see them. He opened his eyes and squinted, adjusting to the light reflecting off your skin.

“What’s the matter?” He realized you were sniffling and trying to hold in your tears. His hand slid onto the small of your back, a warmth you missed so much was lighting a fire on your skin. “Baby.. why are you crying?”

You shook your head and chose to drop your head on the pillow. Harry sighed and scooted closer to you, closing the small space. You grunted as he rubbed circles on your back. He wasn’t sure what time it was or why you were awake to begin with, but he wanted to comfort you no matter what.

“Go.. go back.. to sleep.” You managed to get the words out, your voice muffled by the pillow.

Harry pulled the cover off of you some, feeling how warm you were made him think you were too hot. You didn’t protest, just went mute as you waited for him to give up. He wouldn’t do that easily, though.

“Tell me what’s going on, peach.”

That word did something to you every single time he said it. You couldn’t resist the butterflies forming in your stomach or the way your heart sparked or the heat that rose to your cheeks.. every time it drove you crazy. You let out a groan and lifted your head, your puffy eyes finding his. He wished he could see you better, but you were glad he couldn’t. Whenever you cried, you would always end up crying more if he was watching. Something about it made you feel worse, more embarrassed and ashamed.

“Are.. are you.. mad at me?” You asked him a shaky tone, your voice almost broken completely.

Harry furrowed his brows and slowed his hand to a stop on your back. “What?”

“I made you mad earlier.. I know i did.”

“No, you didn’t. I was just irritated by the text.”

You huffed and let your lips fall to a pitiful frown. He hated seeing you this way. He leaned closer, his face just an inch or so from yours now. You wanted to kiss his lips, wanted to feel the magical sensations he gave you.. but you stayed still and just looked at his eyes.

“I’m not mad.” He tried to stress his words, but you weren’t believing them.

Whether he was actually mad or not was starting to slip from your anxious mind. You were more concerned about what could’ve happened or may happen one day in the future. What if you had a major blowout fight and everything came to an end? Not only would this new found romantic relationship end, but your years long friends would be ruined. Everything would shatter.. and there would be no fixing it.

“I knew this would happen.” You whispered as your eyes shifted from his worried stare.

“What do you mean?” He was still confused as to why you were so upset over what happened. Sure, it wasn’t the best situation, but he didn’t think it was this bad..

“That all of this going on between us would cause fights.”

He sighed gently and licked his lips. “How many times do I have to tell you, love, that everything will be fine?”

The thought of arguing over this yet again was enough to make you realize that maybe he was right. Maybe things would be okay as long as you continue doing what you’re doing. There was no need to go out of your way to lie or hide more than you are now, so why worry? They didn’t know, and they haven’t asked..

“Do you.. promise that you’re not mad?” You asked in a soft whisper, making him smile back.

“I could never be mad at my little peach. Promise, darling.”

Harry’s hand moved with your body as you shifted onto your side to face him. He slid his touch down to your hip where he rested his hand and gave you a comforting squeeze. You took in a deep breath and pushed it out as you realized your body was not prepared to rest.

“Great.. now m’so worked up.. I won't be able to sleep.”

Harry smiled as your lips poked out in a pout. “I can make you a bit tired.”

He moved his hand to your butt, while his eyes stayed glued to yours. A few ideas popped in your mind, but you were hesitant to say something or agree to anything. You were exhausted from the long day dealing with the wedding, and the arguing earlier made you feel emotionally drained. You feared you couldn’t handle any intimacy with him right now. Yet, you still let out a soft whisper.

“How?”

He leaned into you, pressing his lips to your forehead. “Let me take care of you.. just a little bit.” His big hand squeezed as much of your ass as he could hold, wishing he could grab more.

A sigh fell past your lips. “Harry.. I.. I’m just anxious.. I don't really have the energy.”

“I’ll do the work, peach. Just rub you for a few minutes. I know it’ll help.”

Although you were tired, the thought of his fingers being lost in your underwear was tempting. Under the covers, you reached for his hand and he let you take it. As much as he was enjoying your ass, he wasn’t going to deny you his hand. He knew how much you loved his hands. You wrapped your fingers with his and let your eyes fall to his shoulder. Each time he’s touched you, it feels like the very first time. You get butterflies shooting around in your stomach, your head starts to get a little dizzy, and you have a burning desire in your body for him. It was magical each and every time. The thought of him doing it is enough to drive you mad.

Your eyes moved back to his intense stare, blush covering your cheeks. “Would you really?”

A smirk toyed on his lips. “Of course.. I love watching you cum for me, baby.”

The statement made you push out a breath and close your eyes. The little things he did and spoke were always what caused the most chaos in your body. You wanted to climb on his lap and tear his clothes off, but your body was too worn out to do that now.

“And.. and you’re okay with.. me not doing anything in return?” You asked curiously, your tongue poked out to lick your lips.

He watched it disappear back into your mouth, a million thoughts filled his mind as he darted his eyes back to yours. “Absolutely. I need to make it up to you anyway.. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

You cocked your brow and let out a giggle. “Yeah, you do need to make it up to me.”

“Sassy, hm?” He pushed his lips onto yours and swallowed the soft moan you let out.

Harry grabbed your body, digging his fingertips into your flesh as you clawed gently at his neck. You didn’t want to hurt him, even though he would definitely not mind, so you kept your nails soft on his skin. He grunted as you shoved your other hand into his hair, pulling him further against you.

“Missed you so much, peach.” He muttered against your mouth, his tongue returning with a split second to continue exploring.

You couldn’t respond to him, so instead you just pulled on his roots and squeezed his shoulder. Soft whimpers and moans filled the air as he sucked on your tongue and bit down on your bottom lip. Your stomach was bubbling and your toes curled as the thoughts of what was to come circled your mind. You needed him way more than you initially thought you did.

Harry pushed down on your hip, forcing your body to fall onto the mattress. You whined as he pulled back from the kiss, but quickly sighed in relief as his lips moved to your jaw. He sucked on your skin for a few seconds before falling down to your neck. You didn’t want to go all the way, and he was aware of that, but he just had to make up for lost time.

You gripped his nape as he filled his mouth with your skin, creating a few soft marks here and there. Every nerve in your body was on fire and you craved him. You grabbed his hand from your waist and moved it between your legs. He hummed against your skin as he took over and covered you with his hand. You wanted more, and the grunt you let out made him smirk.

“Please.” You whispered next to his ear, closing your eyes as you patiently waited for him.

He broke away from your skin and lifted his head, his pretty eyes instantly locking with yours. He gave you a smirk and placed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. You pouted, silently pleading with him. He was enjoying your begging, but he didn’t want to torture you any longer.

“So warm, hm?” He mumbled as he patted you through your panties.

“Harry, please.” Your voice stayed quiet. “Touch me, please.”

He pressed two fingers over your clit and gave you a little tease. You groaned, furrowing your brows as he chuckled. As much as he wanted to keep teasing you, he knew that if he didn’t start soon you were going to explode.

“M’gonna take care of you, peach.” He leaned back so he could get a better look at you while he made you come undone.

You bit down on your cheek as he brought his fingers to his mouth. When you first started this, you were a bit shy when it came to your body. But right now you didn’t care about all of that. You kicked the covers down, making him gently laugh, and tugged up your shirt. Your chest wasn’t out, even though you were sure he’d like that.

“Hm, always so wet for me, yeah?” His hand disappeared in your panties and you let out a moan as he coated your clit with his spit and slid his fingers through your folds. “Been too long since I’ve taken care of you, hm?”

You grunted. “Too long.”

His lips lifted with a smirk. “Won’t let that happen again, darling.”

A wave of pleasure flooded your body as he began making circles on your clit. Your legs already felt week and your stomach was knotting up. You weren’t sure why you were so sensitive, maybe it was just because it was Harry doing it. When you did it by yourself, you were never this intense right off the bat. Now wasn’t the time to question it, the only thing on your mind was him.

As much as you wanted to watch him, you couldn’t keep your eyes open as the sensations swarmed your body. Harry was amazed by how beautiful and perfect you looked like this. He was trying not to focus on his growing cock. This was all he was getting tonight, and he was okay with that. A minute passed by as you got lost in the overwhelming pleasure.

“Talk to me, baby doll.” His voice rumbled deep and low, making your eyes roll back into your head. “Tell me how it feels.”

You were lost for words at first, and you thought it would be impossible to say anything. Somehow, your eyes managed to open and you caught his stare, but you couldn’t speak. Your lips parted as you pushed out a breath. He was thoroughly pleased with how you were reacting to his touch.

“C’mon, baby, gotta tell me, yeah?” He whispered, his warm breath fanning over your face. Everything he did was making it harder to speak.

You wrapped your fingers around his wrist, gripping him hard while the other one grabbed his elbow. He hissed as your nails sunk into his skin. His favorite part was always when you wrapped your hands around him. Finally, you were able to speak.

“Fuck, Harry.” You gasped out, your lip was quivering. “S’good.. re-really, good.”

“Yeah? Like it when I rub your pussy, don’t you, babe?”

You nodded, unable to really say anything else. He chuckled and moved his lips down to your forehead.

“I know you do, baby. Look at you, hm, coming undone for me.”

“Harry.” You whispered his name quietly, fearing that you’d scream if you spoke any louder.

“I want you to cum for me, okay? Make a mess, baby.”

It was like his words controlled your body. Your stomach rolled as your thighs began to tense up. You scratched at his skin while your moans filled the air. He knew what he did to you, knew how easy it was to guide you to the edge.

“Harry.” You pushed out his name as you came.

He rubbed you through it, humming in satisfaction as he watched your body react to what he had done to you. So much spilled out of you, it felt never ending. You pushed your hand off your forehead and let out a heavy exhale. Harry smirked to himself as he watched your eyes close and your lips fall apart. You were breathing hard, trying to catch up and slow down your heart rate.

“Feel tired now?” He asked with a subtle chuckle.

You dropped your hand and looked over at him. He was still holding onto that smirk, and it made you shake your head and smile back. There was something so wild about this, something so special and crazy. You licked your lips and just stared into his green eyes. It was evident that he was tired, but he was willing to do anything you wanted, and that included staying awake to let you stare at him.

“I’ll go grab a wash cloth-“

“No, not yet.” You snatched his hand as it came out of your underwear. “Just.. stay right here for a bit.”

You kept hold of his wrist as he rested his hand on your stomach. The feeling of his damp fingers against your skin made your heart skip a beat. It was a surreal feeling. Even though it wasn’t the first time he’s touched you, you still couldn’t believe he did it..

[a/n: hehehe the drama is coming 🤭 hope u enjoy the update! reblog like and all that good stuff! love uuu]

taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @victoriasigaard @ariiscringe @harlowsgirl @lomllover @haniaaa04 @sideboobrry11 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @fangirl509east @fruity-harry @storyschanging (if u want to be added to the list, comment or message me)

#harry styles #harry #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #one direction #harry styles blurbs #harry styles stuff #harry styles fanfiction #harry smut #domrry #harry styles best friend #harry styles friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #friends to more #friends to lovers #angst #harry styles photos #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine

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arijackz · 1 year ago

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PICK A CARD: What You're Walking Away From and What You're Walking Toward

⚸ "Just like moons and like suns, with the certainty of tides, just like hopes springing high, still I’ll rise." —Maya Angelou

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. I wish you love and light through this renewing period. <3

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

♦︎ Pile One ♦︎ (3oP, 2oS rev., the tower, the star)

⚄ The cards are taking a while to come out, I feel like whatever seeds you’re planting, the bulk of the work is being done internally, subconsciously, or in your sleep. ⚄ With the three of pentacles, you are reevaluating the role your social connections play in your life and how exactly they’ll fit into the puzzle pieces of your future. For most of you, these are friendships. A few of you, romantic relationships. Another subset of you, there is an emphasis on the relationships you've built with the people you share a common goal with. This can be for work, clubs, hobbies, etc. ⚄ You are moving out of 5th house-type friendships (here for a good time, not a long time) and entering 7th and 11th house partnerships. These unions go beyond just having fun. Deep connections are developed so you can have a support team to lean on during the upcoming highs and lows of the 6th, 8th, and 10th house. They hold more significance and the people who reside in this area of your life should be thoroughly vetted. ⚄ Two of swords rev., you are battling with an internal decision regarding the company you keep and struggling to center yourself. This tower moment is forcing you to vet. To take action. Reflect on whether these people help fulfill your life purpose and achieve your goals or just hinder them. Reassess your relationships according to what you want out of life. ⚄ I was trying to keep this pac short and down to 3 cards. But apparently not?? The star just flipped out, reaffirming that there's a lot of good shit in the works. Stepping away from certain people will align you with the next phase of your life. Bigger and better is coming in. Some of you are settling in relationships in fear of being alone. ⚄ Staying with connections you have outgrown will leave you stagnant. The universe has big plans in store for you, your life is going to take off soon. It will not wait for your friends to hop aboard the ride. You cannot take everyone with you. Your relationships are coming into question because the universe is doing some pruning for you. ⚄ I see people “jumping ship”, maybe you feel the people around you are not there for you during your rough patches? Yeah, connections built on shallow foundations are dissolving. ⚄ The king of cups popped up out of nowhere. You are falling out of alignment with the people you’re with and leaving them will push you towards kinder souls who are more emotionally nurturing. ⚄ Mercurial, Uranian, and lil bit of Jupitarian energy. I’m talking directly to you Virgo, Gemini, Aquarius, and Pisces placements. I call you out with love of course. This is my sidereal big 3 after all<3 ⚄ The star is a very hopeful card, filled with excitement and abundance. You are driving on the road to your destiny. There are only a few seats left in the car, choose wisely. ⚄ Advice: Have faith in your intuition and discernment. I say this in every pac lmao. You’re definitely on the right path (you’re leading up to the star), but this transitioning period is going to be uncomfortable because you are leaving connections behind. When we exit our comfort zones and leave people, we tend to gaslight ourselves and downplay the situation or allow fear to derail our judgment. You are too close to your dreams to let old connections hold you back. You have a deep knowing that these connections will not survive the ride to the top, listen to your intuition and let go of what is no longer serving you. Be selfish if need be.

I only bark once.

♦︎ Pile Two ♦︎ (temperance, the magician, the hermit, knight of swords)

⚄ I felt a puff of air in my left eye. The left side of the body is traditionally associated with the intuitive and receptive feminine. You are in a waiting period right now and are receiving intuitive downloads and messages. Your connection to the metaphysical is strengthening. Be inquisitive at this time and assess your life in a higher light, you are being blessed with the ability to see the hidden and the unforeseen. The synchronicities you are seeing right now are not a coincidence. (Extra confirmation if you’re seeing repetitive 3’s, 5’s, 8’s, triangles, stars, and the infinity symbol)

⚄ Lmfao I was planning on only pulling three cards but the life you’re sowing right now is HUGE. 3 major arcanas back to back and then a court card?? You are being prepped for a whirlwind of adventure. You’re in your own world fucking COOKING.

⚄ The slow period you’re in is forcing you to build a foundation of balance, patience, and introspection. Boring. I know. But it is crucial to your development. I said it best in my last pac so i’ll say it again here, Whatever you build in this lifetime will be built slowly and have a solid foundation because your legacy is meant to withstand the test of time and last long after you leave this Earth. This period you’ve spent waiting is you getting your ducks in a row and sowing your seeds for the next evolution of you.

⚄ Shoutout to my Pisceans and Saturnians. If you have resonated with this so far, definitely go check out pile 4 of my ✩Glow Up✩ pac because there are a lot of gems in there for you.

⚄ You are creating your future reality in this introspective period. I feel for a lot of you, your self-work is centered around deconstructing the old perception of yourself and building your identity up from scratch. You are either beginning, in the heat of, or ending a long period of self-discovery and establishing your self-esteem.

⚄ With the knight of swords at the end of the spread, you are approaching the end of the tunnel with renewed vigor and resolute faith in your capabilities. I’m seeing your life in reference to that religious story, (Lord forgive me, I am telling it wrong and forgot the details 😭) where the man gets locked in a cave and starved, expected to either be dead or too feeble by the time his sentence is over. Instead, he comes out stronger than ever and with twice the unwavering spirit he had before his time in the cave.

⚄ This is what’s happening to you, you are finding inner strength and willpower that is going to propel you forward in your destiny. And you will not fail. It’s not even possible, the resolve you’ve built for yourself will carry you faithfully through all the bullshit life will throw at you.

⚄ Advice: None. You got this in the bag,just remember that you only lose battles when you retreat. The energy you’re cultivating for your near future is the knight of swords, a character who will never retreat. Therefore, you will never truly lose.

"I was born underwater with three dollars and six dimes"

♦︎ Pile Three ♦︎ (9oS, the hanged man, 6oS, 10oW)

⚄ Off the bat, you need to surrender any hangups you have surrounding your future. I picture your mind running 24/7 telling you all the ways you’ll fail as you work tirelessly. Or, you want so desperately to put your plans into action, but a buried subconscious fear prevents you from moving forward, adding more stress on your shoulders. It is weighing heavy on your mental health and causing severe anxiety that is inhibiting you from much-needed rest and healing. This is the season of surrender, it’s okay to let go and let the current wash you away. As soon as you release your fear of making mistakes, you’ll learn the flow of the waves.

⚄ Two of pentacles is at the bottom of the deck, I feel your stress stems from a fear of financial insecurity and the overwhelming pressure of having to plan a sustainable career yourself. A lot of your priorities in life are demanding your attention and it is becoming a heavy burden.

⚄ I am going to be blunt because I care. You gotta stop giving a fuck. Your anxieties are paralyzing you. You need to sip a little metaphorical “fuck it” juice. I am just now getting out of the mental space you’re in. The only thing that helped me step out of my fear-induced paralysis (which lasted a long and dark 6-years), was to reaffirm that no matter what decision I make, I will come out prosperous. In fact, the more you stress about the future and the more control you try to take, the further you push your desires away, which will only fuel your anxiety bugs.

⚄ Have faith that no matter where you land, you have the power to turn any less-than-ideal situation into something bountiful. The bird does not fear the branch breaking because it has faith in its wings. Not making a choice at all is worse than picking the wrong one. You’ll win some, you’ll lose some, all situations bear fruit, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. This too shall pass.

⚄ Advice: I know it is easier said than done, but ground yourself in the present. Release yourself from the worries of the future and the nightmares of the past. Stop stressing about upcoming due dates while you eat and stop reaming yourself for past mistakes while you’re out with friends. Tune yourself into what is happening before your very eyes. Turn your brain off and mindlessly do something. Anything that brings your attention to the present. Don’t even worry about being productive. Watch tv, color, dance, cook, anything but sitting and stressing. This sounds crazy to say in today’s work culture but trust me, stressing about being productive or pushing yourself to “grind” will be your downfall. Your body needs to regulate. With the six of swords, you have to make the conscious decision to walk away (stop stressing and allow the situation to run its course) from what is mentally plaguing you. These are the seeds you’re sowing, you are on the path of releasing your burdens. I’m proud, we can do this!

"Mom, Meet Mary Jane the Milf!"

(representative of the whole relax message in your pile. i had fun making the board, this is not an endorsement.)

♦︎ Pile Four ♦︎ (6oS, king of pentacles, 7oP, 5op)

⚄ Cards went a lil buckwild here. There are a lot of pentacles in this spread, I feel like you are dissolving a lack mindset. What you desire and your perspective of success is evolving. You are stepping out of a false idea of wealth. You might have had a habit of undermining the talents and resources you have and comparing them to what others have.

⚄ This is my doomscroll pile. My silly little rotters. Looking at people with nice things and thinking why can’t I have that? Looking at attractive people and going I’ll never be as pretty as them, I am cursed with these looks. Looking at people who showcase their talents and saying, oh I could never do that, they’re so much better than me.

⚄ You are realizing just how harmful these thoughts have been to you. You had curated a mindset that would have you look at people and then immediately place yourself as inferior to them in some way. This shapes a reality where you feel constantly inadequate, thus always in need of something. This constant feeling of need prevents you from seeing the resources you already have within and building off of those.

⚄ Congratulations, you are stepping away from that lack energy. You’re beginning to see the value in yourself and redefining what it means to be prosperous. Now it's, Oooo, that girl looks so cool playing the bass, this encourages me, I bet I could learn an instrument too. Instead of, “Oh look, another person doing something with their life while I sit here and rot. What is wrong with me, why can’t I be as cool as them.”

⚄ Do you see how the latter self-talk is just draining the life out of you? It sets you up for failure before you can even try.

⚄ When I say a false idea of wealth, I mean the superficial things you believed would bring you fulfillment. When you were in that dark space, you looked at pretty girls and believed that if you looked like them or got the attention they got, you would finally be happy. Now, you’re on a journey of discovering things more sincere to your identity to find fulfillment in.

⚄ You are discovering your interests, hobbies, etc. Anything that boosts your self-esteem and gives you a sense of value. You are about to fall in love with yourself and all the endless capability of creation you hold.

⚄ Advice: Comparison is the thief of joy. Unfortunately, with social media, every day is a pissing contest about who can have the most and be the best. I’d bet money that the most attractive, smartest, and most talented person you know is sizing up the person next to them and getting a false sense of satisfaction or self-hate. Don’t fall into that. Break the societal cycle and look inward for satisfaction. Compete with yourself. Be the only person you are trying to impress.

There is beauty in my unraveling

Let me know what piles you pick!

#pick a card #pac #tarot #tarot reading #astrology observations #arijackz #advice #new moon

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