#of course my own bias may have colored the way i talked about it but i swear it wasn't the point

[icharchivist]

oh thanks god, i looked for a guide to see how i could get my favorite Cloud's dress, but i also didn't want it to compromise my own gameplay so there's stuff i didn't follow to the letter.... but now i'm getting the sidequests that are associated to that dress and i'm so damn relieved.

I'll have all my favorite dresses for the girls' auditions at least

[masterjarthub]

Chuggington Headcanon: Rosa

Tonight, we'll be talking about Rosa, the Spanish crane chugger introduced in the 6th season episode "Not From Around Here" where she moves to Chuggington from her home of San Locomota, to try and find jobs that utilize her to her full potential, and in the end, she is recruited by Zack as part of the Chuggineers.

In my headcanon, Rosa never joined the Chuggineers.

The reasons for this is because with how many characters and locations were written off and Herschend's rather mixed writing quality and their overall depiction of the world of Chuggington, (I'm not normally much of the reviewer type, but that elephant in the room shall be covered some other time) It really feels like they were hastily scraping the bottom of the barrel with the choice of having Rosa join the Chuggineers...

Another thing to note:

Notice how the Chuggineers all match each other, Zack, Fletch and Tyne all have matching stripes and certain parts. Even Brewster has the Chuggineer attire to some degree, but Rosa does not. She still wears that brightly colored Carribean styled paint job.

Some of you fellow Chuggington fans who have been around a hot minute on the internet may remember user TranquilSkies, or on here, @chuggingtonfanatic , who is no longer active in the Chuggington fanbase as far as I'm aware, but around the time of S6, she used to write some headcanons for Chuggington herself, and I was greatly inspired.

In her headcanons for the Chuggineers, she mentions that Rosa turns down the Chuggineer livery in favor of her own, due to her still being very attached to her homeland. I very much see this being canon and while I agree that Rosa would have good character dynamics with the Chuggineers, having her part of this team just felt kinda forced and doesn't exactly sit right with me, especially since Fletch and Tyne were two of the characters cut from S6 and Rosa pretty much replaces them...

Now, I DO NOT mean to say this out of bias in any kind of offense, but I'm sorry- I... I just can't get over how trippy this feels... They did Fletch and Tyne dirty...

So now, this begs the question: If I am not having Rosa become part of The Chuggineers, what is her new job in Chuggington? Where will she go?

Well recently, I finally found the answer: An underused character, and an EXTREMELY underused location, both of which were ALSO absent from S6...

...Yeah, I think it's already safe to say I'm gonna have to post a re-write of "Not From Around Here" someday, as well as the other misfires from S6, but anyway, here's what happens:

In this re-write, the episode plays out mostly the same, albiet with more characters of course.

After caring passengers with Koko, Wilson, on his way to deliver extra safety barriers, shows Rosa the quarry of Rocky Ridge where Speedy is working, and she helps him with his work. After deciding hauling heavy stone is not for her, Brewster meets up with Rosa and asks for her help; The Chuggineers are repairing a wooden bridge in the countryside and need some timber, so Rosa offers to pick some up from The Timber Yard while Brewster is busy collecting ballast.

Little did she know, she would not only encounter a familiar face on the way, but a VERY close call as well...

As Rosa heads down from the quarry after getting directions to the Timber Yard from Brewster, she comes across Rocky Ridge Rickety Bridge, which is just before the quarry.

Speedy was coming out of the mine and crossing the old bridge with loaded hopper cars. Then there was trouble...

The weight of Speedy and his heavy stone cars made the old bridge sag and creak, and only after he made it safely across, a chunk of the bridge snapped off with a CRACK, about to crash down on another chugger!

Rosa rushed in and caught the falling wooden beams just in time. But when she saw who exactly the chugger she saved was, she could not believe her eyes...

The chugger was none other than Skylar, whose model was reused for Rosa. Although we've known him since the 3rd season, he unfortunately did not get much focus due to the advanced training update in S4-S5 before he was written out. Regardless, he and Rosa are indeed siblings.

Thankfully, Skylar was not hurt, and he and Rosa were very happy to be reunited after so many years. Skylar did live in San Locomota with Rosa for a period of time before going of to The Training Academy in Tootington, to pursue his career of becoming a trainer.

By this point in the show, the trainees of Chuggington would become less dependent of both Dunbar and Skylar as their trainers.

As we know, Wilson, Brewster and Koko have well already joined Chug Patrol, The Chuggineers, and Speed Fleet, respectively, and Hoot and Toot are recently promoted to advanced training as shunting engines in The Depot, giving Dunbar the extra set of wheels he needed. Even little Piper would have completed the basics of training and find her own role in Chuggington becoming a frequent helper for Mtambo at The Safari Park.

With the younger trainees needing less and less lessons from Dunbar and Skylar, Their time would go completely into their work. Skylar became The Timber Yard's designated chugger, which would explain his semi-regular usage after S3, since The Timber Yard has not been seen at all since the first season.

Rosa and Skylar head off together to The Timber Yard and load up the timber to take to The Chuggineers. It is then Rosa finds that she really enjoys working there - loading and pulling logs was the perfect job for a crane chugger, and even better, she had her own long lost brother to share it with; she had found just the right job for her in Chuggington at last!

The two set of with the timber for not one, but now two bridges in need of repair, catching up and Rosa getting to know The Chuggineers for the rest of the day, which raps up the episode.

To this day, Rosa and Skylar work happily together at The Timber Yard, and while neither of them are part of The Chuggineers, they do help them out with certain construction jobs around Chuggington from time to time, and become very close friends indeed.

Although Rosa can be a little shy around those she's not too familiar with, it doesn't stop her from proudly sharing her heritage of San Locomota with all her fellow chuggers who welcomed her with open arms, and her experience and knowledge from navigating complicated routes to keeping loads even does wonders.

She wasn't sure at first, but while she is indeed still attached to San Locomota, she can now safely say that she is proud to call Chuggington her new home.

(Oh, and before we close off, I should also mention that Rosa and Skylar's close call with the bridge was also based one of TranquilSkies's headcanons, so credit to her)

[sakis-sweets]

Just a thought of mine for the drama club, you may dislike/like this and I will fully understand you're opinions about it.

I feel like Kizana is very rude and harsh to her club members, from Kokona to Shozo. But Ig for Tsuruzo isn't that much rude nor harsh to him since he his the one substituting for her when she's gone and she does admire his acting skills than the rest.

On how she treats them is different from each one of them.

For Shozo, whenever he's done with writing the scripts she would immediately look at it for 5-10 seconds, throws it at his face and says "go do it again! This is the worst script I have ever read!" Then Shozo proceeds to redo it again for at least 3 times for her to accept it. Kizana compares Shozo to Tsuruzo within their acting skills, the reason why is because Shozo is going to be a 3-2 student, meaning that Shozo needs to also have the same acting skill level as Tsuruzo even as a background character he still needs to have a perfect acting skills to be considered as a "good enough actor" for Kizana's standards.

For Riku, Kizana treats him with bias just like Tsuruzo but different, she only says rude and harsh things to him when no one's around but acts nice to him out public since Riku does come from a wealthy family, she at least wants to make herself look good infrot of others when talking to Riku. (Not sure if this is the best one I can think of-)

For Tokuko, Kizana criticize Tokuko a lot, even when it's offstage. Kizana manages to find something that she can criticize Tokuko, like on how Tokuko wears makeup, how she walks and most importantly on how's her acting skills are. Kizana is very harsh on her criticism towards Tokuko and would immediately blast out insults on her.

Well for Kokona of course, Kizana hates her the most, for copying her hairstyle. She despise Kokona her hairstyle and the lack of her acting skills (since Kokona is a new member). She would either put her as a background character or has no role, she doesn't see Kokona improving but only sees her getting weak and left behind with from the rest.

And that's it! My apologies for any grammatically errors, my apologies for anything wrong with these hcs/thoughts of mine. And if you dislike some of them then it is perfectly fine with me. I will fully understand you're opinions about it!

You definitely make some good points; I think your interpretation of Kizana's relationship is spot on. And I can definitely see Kizana pulling some true Mean Girls shit on Tokuko and will probably find ways to subtly sabotage her while pretending to care. Etc: "omg that color will look so good on you!!" (It super won't). And I agree completely with your take on Tsuzuro, I think he's the only one who looks past (ignores? enables?) her stank-ass attitude and sees her talent, which is why she respects him.

I don't think being kind to Riku only in public would help; he can just tell his parents not to support her and they'd probably believe him. So she'd have to be nice to him all the time. But I think Kizana only cares about money as far as play production, and her own money might be enough depending on her background. If she wants to produce an excessively expensive play, she'll probably butter up Riku then.

I don't think Kizana has a specific vendetta against Shozo, she doesn't have a reason to just disregard what he's written and make him do it again for no reason. Remember, despite being an arrogant bitch, she did earn her presidential position with her skill. So she would read through the whole play and give him some constructive feedback, and then demand that he specifically fix HER lines over and over again. Only to just ad lib on stage anyway.

[tarotapprentice]

Hello and happy new year!

I have been a fan of yours for some time and really appreciate your approach, the boundaries you set, and how you remember and refer back to past readings (it always surprises me when other readers don’t).

I have questions that have been bugging me and hope you have time to explain if possible:

1) how much does a reader’s own biases, feelings about people or relationships, or own energies affect a reading? I know talent is diverse, but often, after listening to a reader over a period of time, I believe I can tell whether a reader likes or doesn’t like someone, particularly when same cards are revealed for two people, one liked and the other not so much. And some readers are always more negative than others. When should we take a reading “with a grain of salt” and do the readers even know how they might come across, over time? Some are such blatant haters.

2) in terms of relationships, I get confused. Unlike real life, where most of the time, people struggle with finding their love and experience the situation where one person may be all in while the other is not, in tarot readings, it’s like if one person likes/loves someone, the assumption is automatically that the object of desire feels the same way, and not just platonically. Bizarre. Especially bad with the bts guys - I’ve seen readings where ships get discussed and love is bandied about to explain some situations, when it may be that romantic feelings are not reciprocated but the guys are friends and colleagues, so they are careful with each other. I would rather know if there is true love than be asked yo accept that everyone is involved equally and easily. Can you tell whether a reading or feeling is more one-sided or when there’s genuine reciprocity? And referring back to 1), how much does the reader’s own feelings or wishes color this picture?

3) how long does an energy/interpretation last? I’ve listened to readings that are very good but I think the event already took place. Are you temporally up to date when reading?

I have more questions but will stop here. Please let me know if I am even asking the right questions.

I thank you for any insights you are able to provide as I would like to learn. I know you must be very busy.

Take care.

Hi anon,

Happy new year 🎇

I appreciate that you like the readings😄

The answers that I will give you are of course my own opinion based on what I have experienced and have taken notice after learning how to read the tarot. Please be reminded that I am still no expert and still feel like I lack so much and can improve much more (the reason why I chose the name tarot-apprentice is to remind myself that I am still learning and that it is oke to make mistakes)

Here are my opinions on your questions:

1) the bias is always there and the amount depends on the person's personality and mood. I think that when we know the least about a person or a subject or the least we are interested the less biased we are. Some readers try to be as balanced as possible but I think that maybe even unsubconsciously we can be a bit biased. We are humans after all. I tend to meditate too before a reading to even my emotions out as much as I can at the moment. The amount of harmony found depends for me (maybe if I would be more experienced, I would be able to do this a lot better). The person you are and your ethics will also influence how much you will let the reading be influenced by your personal opinion on a matter.

2) This was my question too! When I used to check other readings before I started myself, I also wondered about it. How can they just assume with so little cards and talking about such complicated matters. I thought 'wow they must be very experienced or gifted' haha but now I think that people just assume. This is how it works for me: I get some messages through intuition. This intuition comes in a form of a thought or picture or scene to me. I can get a word, sentence, a lyric, a memory, a scene from a movie or tv show or something 'original'. Together with the tarot I get a story but it is up to me to make sense of it. It is like a puzzle or a police case where you have to put things together that make sense and sometimes we get it right, sometimes we get it half right and other times we are completely wrong. We can sometimes misunderstand our intuition and put things incorrectly together, since we only get some pieces or clues. So, with only a couple of cards and certain messages we cannot decipher something so complex as a relationship. It requires a lot more work, time, effort and concentration (even so, we cannot know everything, because we are also not mend to. To me that is not the purpose of the tarot or our intuition). So, unfortunately a lot of readers can't or do not want to spend that much time in doing that, so they try to keep it simple by putting things into categories

3) ah timing, I've also noticed this a lot for myself. And I don't have a very opinionated opinion yet about this. I think that there is no way of telling this. Sometimes I do a current reading but there are some parts that have happened in the past already or/and happens much later on. I believe that the reason for it is because the past present and future are always connected. Something in the past shows up that still has an effect on the present and both predict a possible future on short or long-term.

Hope to have answered your questions fully. I enjoyed answering them and you can always ask more 😊

Take care🖐️

[riverdamien]

Othering!

Reflections!

on

Othering

The Original Sin of Humanity!

I am a "grocers" son, and I learned from my dad the lesson of not practicing "othering".

He ran a grocery business and Dad told me from the very beginning that we did not talk about religion, race, and political views in the business or outside on the street.  He said: "All who come through our doors are equal and deserve the same service."  At his funeral were people of all races, economic status,  and religions. He did not practice "othering".

The word "othering" is a trendy term in academic circles, an updated version of words such as prejudice, discrimination, difference, bias and scapegoating.

Othering defines and secures one's identity by distancing and stigmatizing another. Its purpose is to reinforce notions of our own "normality" and to set up a difference of an "other" as a point of deviance. It is a process of being 'other-ed", meaning marginalized, dis empowered, and excluded socially.

Othering is very visible in our nation in all of our divisions.  We see it now in the political ads. The "haves' and the "have nots", all racial discrimination and so on.

In San Francisco it is seen as bright as the sun in the treatment of homeless, poor, people of color; especially in the Mayor' s statement on the drug use in the Tenderloin: "It is time we throw out compassion and use force to solve the problem," not looking at the causes around drug use, and compassionately working in that realm.

In the Haight my young adults are simply and completely ignored. Personally I  experience "othering" day in and day out.

We begin "Pride Month" the first of June, raising up the LGBTQ and Questioning community. I will wear a LGBTQ tee shirt each day to remind others of our "othering".

So what can we do to bring us into a circle of differences, caring for each other, and working out all of the problems, from climate change to extreme poverty?

A prayer by Justin McRoberts  says the best way of action of all:

"May I have the strange courage

to embrace a world

I know will hurt me,

offering myself to people

I know will let me down

and giving the best of my energies

to plans that will not work out.

I want to choose

to love the world as it is,

just as I know I am loved as I am.

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

===============================

Father River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

www.temenos.org

415-305-2124

----------------------------------

As of now I am planning to attend the following course, as my sabbatical as I enter our thirty years of ministry. I have not been accepted as of yet, and because of the political situation it may be cancelled, but there is hope! Would love for someone to join me in this adventure:

The thirteenth Annual INTERNATIONAL COURSE in INDIA “Gandhian Nonviolence: Theory & Application” COST: Tuition, Room & Board FREE (though donations are accepted); all other expenses regarding travel to & from India, visas, healthcare, & other spending is the responsibility each course participant. Once in India, a total personal expense budget equiv. of $300 per month would be reasonable (less, if one is very frugal). DURATION: 4 months (Sept. 30 th , 2023 thru Jan 30 th , 2024). A Course Diploma will be issued in a final graduation ceremony at Gujarat Vidyapith. LOCATION: Gujarat Vidyapith, a university founded by Mahatma Gandhi in 1920, (see: www.gujarat vidyapith.org) will host the first 2 months of the course during which International Students attend classes weekdays, have housing on campus, are provided vegetarian meals, and are given access to exercise facilities including a large indoor swimming pool (free of charge). Centered in the historic city of Ahmadabad (pop. 7.7 million), the urban campus enjoys a mild autumn climate and is near Gandhi’s Sabbatical (Satyagraha) Ashram where the 1930 Salt March began. Faculty associated with India’s oldest Gandhi Studies Program will teach the course while assuming little or no prior knowledge of Gandhi or India. To better understand the application of Gandhian nonviolence theory to practice, December and January will include course field trips involving 5-10 days each at a Nephropathy Center, an Organic Farm, the Institute of Total Revolution at Vedchi, the Gandhi Research Foundation at Jalgoan, and other experiential learning travel opportunities. Students will be accompanied by the Course Coordinator and/or another faculty member with transportation & on-site expenses free of charge. ACADEMIC CREDIT can be earned via arrangements that may be made by each student with an educational institution in their home country. Examples of mechanisms which may exist to be utilized have included credits awarded for “Independent Study”, “Cooperative Education”, “Service Learning Internships” or other devices negotiated by a student with their home institution prior to their departure to India. Such arrangements need not require MOUs for credit transfer.

APPLICATION

SEND TO: registrar@gujaratvidyapith.org with cc to: doctorjhaveri@gmail.com

NAME (First, Middle, Last): ____________________________________ Address: __________________________________________ Country: _________ Email: ___________________________ Cell Phone: ________________________ Brief Bio (including educational background & activist profile):

Why I am interested in taking this course:

SIGNATURE: __________________________________ Date: ____________

DUE DATE: May 31, 2023.

(If accepted, a $20

[maverick-werewolf]

Modern Dragon Designs - Where they came from

Your regularly scheduled werewolf facts will return soon. For now, we provide this special, because you may not realize this, but I love dragons. There’s a reason one of my protagonists is basically obsessed with dragons.

Once upon a time, there was a movie - I don’t see anyone talk about it, I’m not even sure how many people are familiar with it...

It’s called Reign of Fire.

This movie shaped the modern Hollywoodian concept of dragons. Seriously, it did. Hear me out.

Released in 2002, Reign of Fire was a movie about - essentially - dragons as that age-old trope of “let’s take one monster and turn them into an overpopulated zombie plague so we can use them to tell a story about humans and make the monster just this brainless evil locust swarm backdrop.” This has happened to a lot of monsters by now.

But wait, these dragons aren’t like the dragons you might be used to: these dragons were completely redesigned from the ground up by the filmmaker(s) in order to make a more “realistic” and “animalistic” dragon that was acceptable by Hollywood, who generally views “dragon movies” (like so many other fantasy things...) as cheesy and silly. Market your movie as a film about dragons and you probably won’t get a deal. Well, turns out, coming up with your own gritty dragon designs worked!

Doesn’t this remind you of every other dragon you’ve seen in a movie for the last, you know, 18 years? Although it actually looks quite a bit cooler than those other ones that came after it

Please note that while I may sound sarcastic, jaded, and often maybe a bit scathing, I mean nothing against the creators of Reign of Fire or director Rob Bowman. I watched the movie in theaters when it released. I applaud Bowman for coming up with unique and interesting dragon designs, in order to have a different take on the creatures, so that they fit the story he wanted to tell, instead of doing what so many people do and completely co-opting concepts without trying to alter them to fit anything and... yeah... okay, I’m not going to talk about werewolf things in this post. Getting back on track:

What I don’t applaud is everyone ripping off Reign of Fire for their own dragons, doubly so because most of these people didn’t even take into account the reasons why it was designed that way. They should have left his dragons alone and come up with their own thing, but at least I guess Bowman can go down in history as the man who designed every Hollywood dragon for over a decade to come - with no signs of stopping - even down to the tail shape.

On Vice, you can find an article and interview with Rob Bowman, the director of Reign of Fire, discussing how he came up with this dragon design and how influential it has become. I highly recommend giving it a read.

Please note the Vice article is clearly written with the bias of someone who “can’t take dragons seriously,” so it’s also a good look at the Hollywood mindset about dragons and how much Hollywood treats fantasy in general like garbage (jerks).

It’s impossible to pretend this movie didn’t basically reshape modern dragons. Let’s get to the details...

Animalistic Design

Dragons in popular culture are generally - or at least they were generally - assumed to be powerful, intelligent creatures, often of a higher nature than humans and other mere mortals. They may be good or evil, but one can’t understate that traditional fantasy dragons are regal and majestic either way.

Reign of Fire wanted to usurp the majestic, intelligent dragon image, creating a smaller, hunched, knuckle-dragging sort of dragon that looks more like an animal - like a pteranodon. This is because the dragons in Reign of Fire are not exceptionally intelligent, noble beings that speak and hoard gold and have the wisdom of the ages. They are brutal hunters that set things on fire and eat everything smaller than them. So this design choice was a conscious one and a smart one.

The dragons in Reign of Fire are meant to be more scientific, more plausible, and also simpler, in a manner of speaking. They are not colorful, magical, ancient fantasy dragons...

Trouble is, everyone took cues from this design for their talking wise noble fantasy dragons, and it... doesn’t really work, at least if you ask me.

The dragon design in Reign of Fire looks like an ancestral throwback, an evolutionary ancestor to the intelligent, talking fantasy dragon, although they are smaller. They’re hunched, they haven’t evolved forelegs independent of their wings... you get the idea. Take a look at the “proto-drakes” in World of Warcraft versus the ordinary drakes, which have tiny dangly T-rex forelegs that haven’t fully developed yet, so they walk like the Reign of Fire dragons.

A proto-drake in World of Warcraft - also say hi to my worgen warrior

So many things taking this design for their intelligent, “higher being” dragons seems kind of... odd to me, to say the least. Unfortunately, Hollywood decided that’s the only way moviegoers can “take dragons seriously,” so here we are.

“Wyvern” - Two Legs vs Four

Municipal arms of Stjørdal, Norway

In medieval heraldry, there came to be a creature called a wyvern. Now, the etymology on the term “wyvern” is a little shaky. It originally didn’t specifically refer to a “two-legged dragon.” It is thought to mean/be derived from words meaning anything ranging from “asp” to “light javelin,” and essentially boils down to a flying serpent. It is noteworthy, of course, that the word “dragon” basically just means “serpent” too.

In heraldry, though, “wyvern” came to refer to a two-legged dragon - at least, if you ask the English, Scottish, and Irish; elsewhere in Europe, they may not be so picky. And now, in modern pop culture (such as Dungeons and Dragons), we often use it in the same sense.

Wyverns weren’t really a “thing” in folklore, just as dragons in folklore didn’t look like our modern idea of a dragon. It’s debatable whether the father of our modern concept of dragons, Fafnir (from whom Tolkien drew inspiration for Smaug), even had wings at all; he was essentially a serpent, perhaps with legs. Point is, wyverns come from heraldry, especially the specificity of two legs versus four.

So now you know why you might see a lot of people (myself included) referring to this design as a “wyvern design” for a dragon.

Dull Coloration - Grey and Brown over Red, Blue, Green...

There’s something else - something very important - that Hollywood took from Reign of Fire... the concept that dragons aren’t pretty colors and are, in fact, various hues of grey and brown, and any more contrasting colors are just vague indications instead of bright red scales.

Now, Reign of Fire obviously did this because - again - they were going for the more animalistic, natural look as opposed to the mysterious majestic magical being look. Okay, that’s fine. But then Hollywood decided that fantasy, too, has to be devoid of dragons with bright colors.

The green dragon in Game of Thrones

There are countless examples of this in modern media. Any dragon that was previously brightly colored has been dulled pretty much to an extreme. Sometimes you might catch a fleeting glimpse of them looking like a brighter shade, but it was probably just a trick of the light. Why? Because all dragons are desaturated to the point of being almost indistinguishable by color.

The golden dragon in The Witcher Netflix series

This is also why you see so many mods on the Skyrim Nexus called things like “true red dragon.”

There are plenty more examples of this - I’m sure you can see the difference when you look at those dragons and other modern film dragons over, say, something like this...

Red dragon in D&D

And now we move on to...

The Fire Breathing - Chemicals, not Magic

Bowman insisted on ditching traditional fire breathing (you don't want the audience wondering whether the dragon's mouth is being burnt up with every flame) and again looked to the animal kingdom for inspiration. The king cobra, once again, was a great starting point. It doesn't spray fire, but it can spit its venom. Even more useful was the bombardier beetle, which shoots two chemicals from its abdomen that, once mixed, create a hot, burning spray. Bowman used these real-world examples to inspire his own dragons. They don't breathe fire exactly, but rather spit chemicals from two different sacks in their mouths that, when combined, ignite. "That's anatomy. That's already been designed, so we're going to draw from there," he said.

(quoted from the Vice article linked to earlier in this post)

The Hungarian Horntail in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - fire is streaming from two separate organs in the mouth, but they aren’t chemicals mixing together like in Reign of Fire...

The director of Reign of Fire wanted his dragons to be more natural in that they breathe fire through organic means, based on chemical reactions, instead of the usual dragon magic. But lots of people loved this “mouth flap”/”mouth organ” design with “streams” of fire coming from the mouth instead of fire flowing directly from the dragon’s throat, so now you see it pretty dang often.

Horns? Brow Ridges!

Another thing that is basically out now in dragon designs is the real horns of many traditional dragons, like Spyro, and like the dragons in Dungeons & Dragons used to have.

These days, it’s all about brow ridges and big spiny scales that aren’t separate horns, they’re just big pointed scales or piles of scales or bone ridges - and they aren’t a different color than the dragon’s scales, either, pretty often. And, in general, dragon’s horns have become much smaller and far more numerous, and more like spines/ridges, as opposed to the great, sweeping horns of classical dragons.

Firkraag, the red dragon, in the D&D video game Baldur’s Gate II, from 2000

Firkraag is a very traditional dragon. Now, while Dungeons & Dragons has generally kept more traditional dragons (yay!), they did fall into the brow ridge horn thing - although they, thankfully, didn’t make the horns smaller and subtler and more numerous little spikes, like so many other modern dragon designs. They also went with the brow ridge horns for tieflings (once humans with demon blood, then some weird thing in 4E, and now I think they’re humans with demon blood again), as opposed to the ordinary horns of the tieflings in previous editions of D&D.

Skyrim dragon head concept art

The Desolation of Smaug(’s design)

Here is... a big one. Here, we’ll talk some about the production of The Hobbit films over time, so we’re going behind the scenes.

Alright, so we all know Smaug, probably, by pop culture osmosis if nothing else. He is the quintessential dragon. He’s basically the founder of all Western dragon concepts: he’s big, he’s red, he hoards gold, he’s extremely intelligent and talks, etc. You get the picture. Every dragon that we have borrowed at least something from Smaug. And, in turn, he was inspired by Fafnir, the father of all our dragon concepts, from Norse mythology - but Tolkien took it all a step further and created the concept of dragons that we have today. Or, well, the not Reign of Fire ones. The fantasy ones.

A map drawn by Tolkien: notice the winged, four-legged Smaug over his mountain

During the first Hobbit movie, An Unexpected Journey, we see Smaug attack the Lonely Mountain...

In this clip, you can plainly see that Smaug has four legs. This was actually edited slightly for later editions of the movie, or so I’ve heard (I haven’t watched any later editions).

I can tell you for certain that when I saw the theatrical release, it was like this, too. It is apparent throughout the scene that Smaug has four legs and wings, separately. I know because I was paying very, very close attention, because I was going to be very upset if Hollywood turned Smaug into a wyvern.

Well, they did - later.

Smaug the wyvern looking like just another slightly different take on the bog-standard Hollywood dragon

Apparently, some studio exec decided that having a traditional fantasy dragon, even if this dragon happens to be frelling Smaug himself, would not be okay in this modern Hollywood world. So we ended up with a dull reddish spiney hunching knuckle-dragging wyvern with an angler mouth (I’m sorry; I really am sorry if you like the design, that’s totally fine, it’s a fine design, I am glad you enjoyed it, but Smaug shouldn’t have looked that way IMO and forgive me but I am still in pain over it) in place of a more traditional dragon that held more to things like, I dunno, how Tolkien himself drew Smaug. Smaug’s movie design flies right in the face of that and destroyed our chance to finally see a proper traditional dragon done justice on the big screen.

Tolkien’s art of Smaug - note the position of the forelegs, separate from the wings, like in the earlier map

This is all just one big example why we should be thankful that The Lord of the Rings films were all shot in one go, so no one could alter important things like the design of the fantasy genre’s father of all dragons, in the middle of production. Of course, the production on The Hobbit movies was a nightmare at best, as you can read about in assorted other articles, and Peter Jackson was very unhappy with what the studio had him do to the series. All of that is just another story, I suppose.

Dragons Redesigned by Reign of Fire: Example List

Now that we’ve gone over just a few of the talking points about Reign of Fire’s dragon designs (although I didn’t even get into the flat, spaded tail look in detail), here’s an undoubtedly incomplete list of several examples that have either entirely taken the design and/or were massively influenced by it...

(please note that not everything in this list held entirely to Reign of Fire’s design, obviously; some have the fire, some don’t; some have horns, some have head/brow ridges; but all of them are wyverns and most are darkly-colored)

Skyrim - Obvious influence with the general design, skin/scales and ridges design, as well as coloration; however, it is noteworthy that the Elder Scrolls has had dragons with no forelegs since at least 1998, in the game Redguard - though that dragon was also very brightly-colored (also of note: Peryite, while technically a Daedric prince and not a dragon, had four legs at least as far back as Daggerfall in 1996)

The Hobbit films, specifically The Desolation of Smaug onward - as mentioned before

Harry Potter movies - Wholesale. Two streams of fire from mouth flaps in Goblet of Fire, generally dull greyish and/or brownish colorations, no forelegs, short/simple horns that are mostly ridges...

Gods of Egypt - The giant fire-breathing cobras have the mouth flaps

Game of Thrones - This one’s pretty obvious too.

Disney’s Maleficent - In the new live action Disney movie(s), the dragon falls right into this design (though the fire doesn’t come from mouth flaps)

Netflix Witcher series - Villentretenmerth is very much a wyvern design and a dull shade, and he in fact has no horns at all, even though dragons weren’t portrayed this way in any previous Witcher adaptations

Stargate SG1 (season 10) - In the episode series “The Quest,” a dragon appears and... well, it looks just like all those other dragons, though the fire does come from its throat.

Beowulf (2008) - I try not to ever talk about or think about this film, but I have to just throw out there that the dragon is very much Reign of Fire, especially with that wyvern design.

Seventh Son - If you can call Malkin a dragon  - she was called one, I think - she definitely also has the same kind of dull-colored wyvern design.

Sucker Punch (movie)

Lots and lots of B-movies and direct to DVD/streaming films - Dawn of the Dragonslayer, Dragon (2006), Dragon Crusaders...

Something to note, also, is that cartoons, anime, and other non-film media is mostly - but not entirely - free from this influence. Cartoons especially are free from it, partially because they aren’t influenced by Hollywood producers who want “serious” and “realistic” dragons. Cartoons are allowed to have magical, colorful, four-legged dragons. Unfortunately, we are deprived of those in live action film and television, by and large.

There are still other exceptions - most notably things that were created before this influence, like Dragonheart and its spinoffs and sequels, which have thankfully kept their dragon designs consistent instead of erasing their forelegs.

Of course, why dragons are depicted as four-legged and winged in the first place - and when this depiction arose - is another topic entirely. I’m not going into that right now, seeing as how this post is already preposterously long.

Long story short, I was rewatching the movie Gods of Egypt and, when I saw the giant cobra monsters breathe fire, I was possessed to write this article. Because Reign of Fire’s influence is something I have always noticed ever since its release, and something my brother and I talk about a lot (and everyone who knows me has surely heard me talk about it, too) - because, frankly, it’s always bothered me. My favorite dragons are traditional dragons: four legs, bright colors, wings, horns, breathing fire, the works.

So, although the original creator of these design ideas did something cool and different because he wanted to do his own take on dragons, Hollywood decided that these design cues should be taken to dumb down all dragons forever, the same way that Hollywood has dumbed down so many monster designs so that the only acceptable ones just a bunch of near-replicas of each other, including werewolves.

I think it’s very sad that film producers think you can’t take something like dragons or werewolves seriously unless they are dull, nontraditional, and ugly. And I say ugly in the sense of these are not pretty, majestic fantasy designs - they are, many of them, intended to be ugly. Though I personally also hold the opinion that most of them are ugly regardless of if they are intended to be ugly.

So - now you know! If you haven’t seen Reign of Fire, go check it out to meet the father of modern dragon designs, from the color of their hides to the shape of their bodies, the smaller horns, and - sometimes - even their tails.

(Special thanks to everyone on my discord who helped me compile this list, as well as of course my brother and all our ranting at/with each other on this topic over many years)

If you like this post, maybe you’ll enjoy the rest of my blog, where I post a lot about folklore and all kinds of monsters (especially werewolves)!

Werewolf Facts --- Patreon

[shiro-hatzuki]

Why my Kotoko vote has nothing to do with the music video.

Okay, so just a few hours earlier from when I'm posting this, I was gushing about the music video. But while I can theorize about what it shows us, I'm way more interested in her voice drama, which I just read a translation of.

Further explained below the cut. Some spoilers for MILGRAM's "HARROW" music video and a load of spoilers for Kotoko's voice drama. Also, I'm getting the voice drama translation from a google doc that was shared in a discord server by the user kraufish#1072.

---------------

Initially, I was trying to consider voting Kotoko forgiven or not based on her MV. She's heavily implied to be a vigilante, and there are some flashes where it seems to imply that she either is doing so to cope with some serious trauma and/or she's got a black and white way of viewing justice a bit like Fuuta (tho she might not like be compared to Fuuta lollll). I decided that based on my own feelings towards vigilantes (and admittedly kotoko because my god, i love her my girlboss bias is showinggg), I would vote her "forgiven" for the time being. However, I do not think working outside of the law should be encouraged even if you believe it's for a good cause, but instead, you should work to influence the law itself to shape it to fit our modern ideals of justice. Thus, I did not mind if she was voted "not forgiven."

But as I stated before, I just read a translation of the VD, and that just shoved the whole MV aside. To give a quick and dirty summary (that does not do the details of the VD justice, mind you), Kotoko questioned Es on how this whole "prison" is set up, noting that this does not seem much like a prison and more like a social experiment, and even Es's control and position as a prison guard are called into question. After snapping Es out of what seemed to be a bit of an existential crisis, Kotoko made a proposal: the two could work together, with Es supplying info about the prison and Kotoko supplying info on what she can observe of the other prisoners, to uncover the "truth" behind MILGRAM.

Kotoko really emphasized how she could observe the other prisoners, and I do think that could be helpful for uncovering facets of the other prisoners that we the audience have yet to completely agree on or figure out ourselves. I am skeptical about her observations, of course, as she made clear that her own opinions of good and evil are strong, thus coloring her perception. However, her observations could still be helpful.

But enough musing on the details of the deal, because that actually doesn't matter to me. What I care about the most was when she questioned Es to the point of sending them into a crisis. I have a strong suspicion that by doubting MILGRAM, Es can, for lack of a better term, awaken the truth inside of them. We saw it in Muu's VD, where she questioned Es's way of talking as if their opinions aren't actually their own, which made them distressed. Kotoko appears to have little to fear and nothing to lose and could probably defend herself against Es if they retaliate, making her one of the perfect candidates for talking with Es on the lore of the prison and perhaps getting them to question this whole thing.

Basically, my goal here is to break Es. I want to see what will happen if they question their own position as a prison guard to the point that they themself stop acting as one. I want them to be curious enough to find out who they are and to explore MILGRAM for themself instead of taking Jackalope's word and following his guidance blindly. I want them to open that rusty eleventh door, as even if there is nothing to see behind it, doing so may symbolically break them from this prison.

I'm voting Kotoko "forgiven" because I personally think this will be the path that will get Es to break. If voting "not forgiven" will put prisoners in line (or otherwise negatively impact them), that is something I absolutely do not want for Kotoko. I want her to run wild here. Now I do not think that voting one way or another will make her stop investigating - she may do that either way. But I think what may happen will be how bold she is when talking with Es. If we don't forgive her, I fear that she may not talk with Es about her opinions and questions regarding the prison. But if we do vote her "forgiven," she may continue to talk with Es boldly.

Admittedly, this may also be at the expense of Es (who I apologize to profusely no I don't care if they're a fictional character). It's very possible that rebelling too much could cause something negative to happen to them in the end. Again, Muu's questions had caused Es distress before, and we really don't know what Jackalope or this prison are capable of. I don't like the thought of hurthing them, but personally speaking, being able to explore the possibilities and curiosities of this setting far outweighs the theoretical downsides for me.

[sunshineseung]

Dominant Stray Kids

Chan: simultaneously soft and rough. he’s the sweetest man in the world when you’re good! he’ll worship your body for hours and make you cum until you can’t anymore. he loves holding you close and praising you and making you feel as good as possible, even if it isn’t in a sexual way. however, when you’re bad... may god have mercy on our soul. chris is hard to make angry, and it takes a lot of rule breaking to make him genuinely mad, so when you get him past his breaking point, there’s no holding back. he loves using toys and retrains on you and deny you orgasm after orgasm until you’re a sobbing, begging mess. he dirty talks a lot, so expect a lot of pet names and teasing like “aw, does my pretty little slut want to cum? maybe they should have thought of that before they disobeyed me.” although the punishments can be rough, the aftercare is BEYOND AMAZING!!! actual king of aftercare. super reassuring! he’s constantly reminding you that he loves you, especially after a particularly hard punishment. you’re the best thing in his life, so he would never want to make you uncomfortable. the second you say the safe word, he’s running a bath, getting you water, cleaning you up, and taking care of you. he’s an absolute angel. 🐺 favorite names: daddy, master, sir, chris

Minho: you don’t even have to say a word for this man to run you into the ground. he’s the definition of a sadist, and although he can still be super caring, he can also be an absolute demon. expect whips, floggers, paddles, jfc even a chastity belt if you’re up for it. loves seeing his marks on you, it drives him insane! he wants everyone to know that you are his, his, and only his. very protective and possessive, especially around his other members. if one of the members get a little too friendly with you, he’s quick to lay a hand on your thigh and give them a dirty look. sometimes he likes to rail you in the dorm while the other members are in the living room so they can all hear how easily undone you become from his touch. he degrades you a lot, but he also likes to lace it with praise; “pretty slut” and “dumb baby” are his go-to names for you. he loves when you’re so fucked out that you can hardly speak. he isn’t that into orgasm denial, so I hope you’re ready to cum a lot, because he won’t stop until you say so. he loves being messy, so spitting on you and covering your face in spit or his cum is fair game. he’ll also make you dress up like a cat, and please don’t question why he likes it so much. within a month, you’ll own plenty of collars and ears and tails and pretty stockings and lingerie. he loves to give you gifts and make you happy. he takes aftercare very seriously, so expect him to gently massage lotion into all your bruises from his impact play. overall he’s rough and giving, so thank him often, or he’ll just punish you harder. 🐱 favorite names: master, mister, god, king, owner

Changbin: super loving, and he loves loving you!!! even if you’re bratty, he doesn’t like to punish you much other than a spanking every once and a while. he’d much rather have you be obedient so he can praise you and reward you. although he doesn’t like to punish you, he loves to edge you for hours and allow you to have one intense orgasm for him. he loves having his hands all over you, and vice versa. he’ll worship your body, especially your chest, and spend hours just kissing you and playing with your body. if you’re smaller than him, he will remind you every chance he gets. “my pretty little baby,” “so tiny and good for me,” “you look so cute under me.” he also likes to ask you for praise, like asking how he’s doing. of course, even if you can hardly talk, you’re quick to reassure him and praise him, which makes his head spin. he doesn’t set up too many rules, because he still likes to allow you to be free, but he is very hands-on and will cling to you 24/7, mostly in public or around his members. he loves showing you off to other people and just praising you even if you’re not physically with him. he loves spooning you and slowly fucking you, his big arms wrapped around you and holding you as close to him as possible. you’re all he thinks about, so expect him to be very needy, especially after long days. he’s so nice and gentle but he could be so strong and powerful, and he loves having a threatening aura to everyone else and looking super intimidating while you know he’s just a big softie. 🐰 favorite names: binnie, daddy, sweetheart, love

Hyunjin: so bullshit dom. he doesn’t dirty talk that much (shockingly), but his eyes tell you everything you need to know. He likes to save his voice for when he really needs to say something, which is usually degrading. “Stupid little cumdump. Can’t think of anything other than my cock, huh?” Super dramatic when you misbehave too, like “oh, was my baby too fucking needy to wait for me to get home? You’re gonna pay for that. Every orgasm you had while I was gone is gonna be how many times I cum down your pretty little throat.” He likes restraining you with harsh ropes, spitting on you, and smacking you, but he doesn’t like impact play with toys. He will however use a vibrator on you and edge you for ever until you realize you’re not cumming at all tonight. Just be good and he’ll reward you with... a harsh railing that he’d give you if he were punishing you... okay so maybe he likes brats lol, but he has very little patience, so when he’s ready, you better be ready too. Aftercare isn’t entirely minimal, but it’s usually just a shower where he washes you and takes care of any marks that might spring up. He likes to treat you like you’re less than him although in reality he thinks anything but. Calling him prince while he treats you like a whore is big for him. He also is somewhat into slavery, so prepare for him to get you a slave ring. 🦙 favorite names: master, mr. hwang, sir, prince, your highness, owner

Jisung: teasing dom! He’s another one that likes to edge you for hours, but he also likes to overstimulate you until you’re begging for him to cum so it can end (although he can go multiple rounds too). He’ll lightly degrade you, but mostly it’s praise. He spends a long time on foreplay, oral, and making out just to make sure you feel good. He loves marking you in ways only you and him can see, so he never leaves hickies on your neck. He also loves to baby you, especially if you’re younger or smaller than him. He treats you very well, but if he’s had a rough day, he really needs you to give him head and fuck him until he tells you to stop. He likes when you’re on top but he still has full control by holding your hips or telling you exactly what to do. Sometimes he just comes into your room, pulls out his cock, and expects you to suck him off even if he’s not hard. He doesn’t like to punish you, and he doesn’t set up rules either. He just likes telling you how good you taste or how pretty you look when you’re a wreck for him. He can get shy sometimes, so please reassure him that what he’s doing to you is okay, because he thinks he takes it too far a lot. He’s super loving and probably the softest dom out of the group. 🐹 favorite names: sung, babe, sweetheart, honey, sexy

Felix: I really don’t see lix as a dom but! If I must... Lix is very soft and giving, but he isn’t against getting rough with you. He can easily mix being really rough and being soft at the same time. He loves spanking you with paddles while calling you a good [whatever] and holding you close to him, probably with you sitting up on his lap. He loves whispering in your ear with his deep voice because it always makes you shiver and get insanely horny. He doesn’t punish, but he does like impact play. He really enjoys praising you as much as possible, so don’t expect a lot of degrading. He just wants to be nice to you! He likes dressing you up like a little fashion doll and fucking you in pretty clothes, especially lingerie or stockings. Felix likes being goofy during sex sometimes too! So if he messes up or does something awkward, expect to laugh it out and continue the scene. He likes pet play and age play id imagine, so he’ll buy you little kitty ears or bunny ears and a tail and a collar, but he might also buy you more childish clothes. He loves to take care of you even if you’re older than him, and he loves to cuddle you. As much as he loves cuddles, he also has a very high sex drive, so he gets hard within like a minute of spooning. Aftercare is a must for Felix, becuase honestly, he needs it too! He loves taking baths with you and holding you close. He’s literally the sweetest boy ever, so please let him treat you well. 🐥 favorite names: lixie, master, daddy, owner

Seungmin: woah, okay. okay. okay. Let me break it down for you: he’s such a strict and mean dom, but it’s fucking great. He isn’t my ult bias for nothing. He loves impact play, tying you up, teasing you, degrading you, punishing you, and just... dominating you. He loves feeling in power. He likes to plan during the day so he knows what he’s gonna do to you that night. He won’t even touch you, he’ll just talk to you and whisper to you while you’re tied up to make you weak, and then he’ll start to really play with you. He will tease you, whisper threats, and call you pet names all in public. Although he’s strict, he’s also very fair. If you’re good, he’ll reward you and do whatever you want to do. If you’re bad, you’re in for a long night, or even a long week of he doesn’t let you cum for that long. He has a massive collection of toys: vibrators, impact toys, plugs, costumes, pet accessories, everything! Just do exactly what he tells you to do, and he’s the nicest dom ever. Although, deep down, he likes brats. He likes punishing you and making you cry. He loves watching you unravel under him and go so far into sub space that you can’t talk. As much as he loves that, he is also very strict about safe words. He likes using colors (red, yellow, green) as the safe word, and he’ll often ask you “color?” just to check up. He also sets non-verbal safe “words”which is usually snapping or tapping. he’s researched a lot about being dominant because he wants you to have the best experience possible. For him, it’s all for you. He just wants you to be happy. 🐶 favorite names: daddy, master, sir, mister, king, owner

Jeongin: awww bb innie he’s so sweet... but sometimes he can be a lil mean ;( he’s super nice to and he loves rewarding you, but he can be a little selfish and tell you to suck him off when he’s a little tired or stressed. He isn’t a textbook definition of a dominant in any way, but the more you tell him about what you like, he’s very willing to try new things with you. He’s very scared of hurting you or injuring you, so don’t expect much impact play. He does like you treating him as his superior though because he’s babied so much by so many people around him. Being able to baby you and take care of you is a nice change of pace for him! He likes using you as a doll sometimes, and he orders you around a lot (totally with your consent of course!) and he also loves to make you unravel under him. He adores when you get needy and clingy so much, and even more than that, he loves when you beg for him to play with you. He could listen to you beg forever. When you get super whiny, he thinks it’s so cute and it melts his heart every time. On the other hand, when he gets really worked up, he can degrade you a little bit. He gets very impatient and just wants to cum so fucking bad, that sometimes degrading phrases sneak past his lips. “Ah, cmon my dumb little baby, make me cum.” But the second he finishes and realizes what he said, he appologizes and offers to make you feel better with a shower or bath or even just cuddles. He just think you’re his entire world, so he wants to take care of you as much as possible. 🦊 favorite names: jeonginnie, oppa, babe, baby

part 1 of this: submissive stray kids

[charlotte-headcanons]

If it's not too much, may I ask for anemone, chrisanthemum and daisy for Perospero and Amande? Only if you don't mind of course! I love these two so much and I really wanna know what you think 😭

Yes of course friend!! 💕 (Psst I love them too so it's much appreciated -Jo) Hope you like what we came up with! Thanks for asking ✨

CW: violence, death, trauma

Anemone: How does your muse view the world; as a cruel & unforgiving place, a land full of wonders, or something in-between? Where does that worldview come from (what experiences, life lessons, etc.)?

In Perospero's eyes, the world outside of Totto is harsh, gritty, and grey. He fully believes that Totto Land is a land of dreams, though, and excuses everything questionable about the country and Big Mom's policies as the only right way, as necessary, or as still better than the rest of the world. He loves color, sweetness, family, and doesn't mind the underlying morbid tones they all have in Mama's territory. Thus, to him, his life is a blessing, and he believes that it's a blessing for the rest of his family too. Fuck everyone else.

His view on life could be summarized in two sentences: "the main purpose in life is to have fun" and "don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive". He might take on many responsibilities within Mama's pirate crew and wish for even more, considering that he wants to be the captain, but in all honesty, that's all just for fame, flair, and for life to get exciting.

Where does his worldview come from? Well, out of all the siblings, he's probably one of the most indoctrinated. Having always been a mama's boy, he took Linlin's words for granted, tried to justify even the worst of her deeds, and thus came to fully believe in the outside world being wrong. Even as he grew up and came to travel on missions, even as he visited different countries, he was already way too deep in the confirmation bias of Totto Land and the Charlotte family being the best of all; few things could now really shake this worldview of his up.

Amande thinks that she has a very neutral view on the world. She believes in balance, in good and bad energies completing each other, and in the world around you being an effect of your actions, not a constraint. However, she has a very dark view on the ways life and death work in the world. If she was to summarize what life is like, she'd probably say something along the lines of "it's kill or be killed, reign supreme or become a stepping stone for the more powerful. I made my choice. What about you?"

Her outlook on life is partially a result of how much she internalized her time spent among the Rocks Pirates. Having observed these powerful people constantly fighting, jumping at each other throats, she convinced herself that she must kill all vulnerability and emotion in herself to not be used or slayed. It didn't help that her family is full of bloodthirsty pirates and that Linlin encouraged her psychopathic behaviors, too.

Chrysanthemum: How does your muse express romantic love? How do they feel about love as a concept?

Perospero both wants romantic love and doesn't fully trust it. He hates commitment, yes, but he also kind of wants someone to fall back onto, someone to admire him, and give him all the attention he craves. Most of all, though, he wants to feel secure. Because of that, he doesn't let people into his heart easily, being scared of getting too dependent or too open and vulnerable. As he sees it, even if he has feelings for someone, at the end of the day it's still a stranger he's getting to know - not like family who was with him from the beginning and who he believes will always be there for him. So yes, he can jump around into various relationships, but getting truly serious about dating anyone would be special, and it's not something that happened yet. He tends to claim that love is actually very rare and he's not planning to start lying to himself that some random person truly loves him; despite being very expressive and extroverted, feelings-wise he's actually a really tough shell to crack.

If he falls for someone, though, Perospero turns into a total old sap in private. He gets very touchy, seeking constant physical contact, and might actually (gasp) talk about his emotions for once! He definitely requires a fuck ton of attention and affection back, and might have some yandere tendencies: not so much jealousy driven (he's polyamorous) but quite obsessive for sure.

Amande has a cynical view on love, seeing it as either 'chemicals in your brain that force you to mate' or as weak people seeking someone to feel a bit stronger. Effectively, she's a cold woman who doesn't seek out love, whether romantic or platonic. She much prefers to remain independent and unconstrained, and might even judge those who care for their significant others too much or those who gush about their relationships.

Daisy: Did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost? What moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence?

Few Charlottes even remember the time of their innocence. Due to how they were raised, they were taught to kill very quickly, they had to grow up and learn to provide for themselves way too fast, and thus, few of them actually got to have an innocent childhood. Amande and Perospero are definitely not among those few.

If Amande was ever innocent, it goes so far back that she wouldn't recall it. As far as she remembers, even as a child she was fascinated with the morbid, she preferred murder than playing with other children, and she didn't understand when people talked about their emotions. Again, this is largely due to how much she internalized her time with the Rocks Pirates, and what she learned there never really left her.

There is a moment in Perospero's early life which he doesn't like to think about and he likes to erase from his memory. He's never been innocent in conventional ways, but he used to at least be a very positive child, believing in Mama 100%. Everything changed though when he first witnessed Big Mom kill one of her own babies in a craving rage. As much of a family secret as it is, there were more than 85 Charlotte children, but many of them perished before they could grow up or learn to walk, being defenseless and just too close to Linlin when she got hungry. As the eldest and someone who hanged around Mama a lot, Perospero probably witnessed it happen, and if anything, that was when his innocence broke and when he became who he is today. Thinking back to this moment makes his absolute faith in Mama take a heavy blow, as it's really hard to excuse it, but he usually refuses to remember it happened. Life's simpler this way, really.

[storiesforallfandoms]

i thought it’d be happy ~ aaron tveit

word count: 1220

request?: yes!

“aaron tveit pls !! either fluff or angst but preferably end w fluff if angst”

description: in which he decides to take her to a musical for their first date, and it doesn’t have the ending he was expecting

pairing: aaron tveit x female!reader

warnings: swearing, spoilers for hamilton

masterlist

Aaron bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for her to show up. He hoped she wouldn’t stand him up. She couldn’t if she knew he had already bought the tickets, right?

He knew he shouldn’t worry. She wasn’t even running late, he was just worried. Aaron was rarely one for blind dates, but after his Moulin Rouge co-star, Karen Olivo, boasted about her best friend to him, he decided to give things a shoot with (Y/N).

Maybe taking her to a Broadway show as their first date was a little too ambitious, but Broadway was where he felt most comfortable, and he wanted to give a good first impression.

He tried not to let his relief show when he saw (Y/N) approaching. She was wearing a beautiful knee length baby blue dress with a jean jacket over it, and her hair pulled back into a braid. If she was wearing makeup, Aaron couldn’t tell. She was naturally stunning.

“Hi!” she said, hugging Aaron. “It’s nice to actually meet you!”

“Yeah, you too!”

She smiled and a silence fell over the two of them. Aaron wasn’t sure what to say, and (Y/N) wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation.

“Oh!” Aaron said, rummaging through his pockets. “I know it’s probably a bit much for a first date, but I got us tickets to see Hamilton. I’ve been dying to see it, but I haven’t had time.”

“I’m such a huge history nerd, so this is really up my alley,” (Y/N) said. “I haven’t seen it either, or listened to the soundtrack, so this will be a first for both of us.”

Aaron smiled and offered her his arm. “Shall we, my lady?”

(Y/N) giggled and took his arm. “We shall.”

He handed her her ticket and they entered the theater. Their seats were close to the stage, which excited (Y/N). She had never been to a Broadway show before, and to be so close on her first one was exciting.

“I’ve never been to a Broadway show before,” she admitted.

“What?! Really?” Aaron questioned in disbelief.

(Y/N) laughed and nodded. “I never really had the money growing up to be able to afford a ticket, and then I just didn’t have the time to go. I have a feeling I’m going to regret that after tonight.”

“You definitely will. I may be bias, of course, but I always feel in my element with Broadway shows.”

Before (Y/N) could respond, the lights went down and the voice of “King George” spoke through the speakers, explaining the rules of the theater before the show started. Aaron and (Y/N) settled back into their seats, preparing to be sat there for nearly three hours.

Almost instinctively, (Y/N)’s hand found Aaron’s, which was resting on the arm rest, and laced her fingers with hers. Aaron glanced down at their hands and smiled to himself, figuring that this was a good sign towards the first date.

~~~~~~

Nearly three hours later, Aaron came to find the answer to whether or not (Y/N) was wearing makeup - the answer was no. How did he know this? Because there was nothing smudging or turning the tears running down her cheeks a different color.

As they exited the theater, both (Y/N) and Aaron were wiping their wet eyes. The final act of the musical was much more emotional than either of them were prepared for. (Y/N) had been crying for at least half an hour, while Aaron managed to hold it in until the last song.

“Well,” he said as they began walking away from the theater, “maybe Hamilton was the wrong musical to take a first date to.”

(Y/N) chuckled through the tears that were still falling down her face. “It might’ve been.”

“I thought it’d be a happier musical. I had such high hopes after the first act.”

“Did you not know that Alexander Hamilton was shot dead by Aaron Burr? Or that his oldest son was killed in the same way just three years earlier?”

“I knew he was shot dead, I guess I just thought...I don’t know, I didn’t think the ending would be that sad.”

“I don’t think the ending was sad, I think it was inspiring. Even after what he did to her, Eliza still went on to make sure that her husband would be remembered. She worked so hard for him, did so many good things, and yet we rarely ever talk about her, because she was just his wife that he cheated on. I think that’s inspiring. The song itself is pretty sad when you think about it, I feel like most of act two was just sad, but it’s a good ending.”

(Y/N) was leaning into Aaron. She was so close to him that they were almost touching. Aaron couldn’t help but smile down at her. Even with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, he thought she still looked effortlessly beautiful.

“I like that way of thinking,” Aaron said. “I still have to apologize for taking you to such a sad musical for your first Broadway show. I promise, not all of them are this sad...a good few are but not all of them.”

(Y/N) smiled. “It’s fine. I think it was a good choice for a first date. I got to see you emotionally vulnerable. Most guys don’t let girls see that, especially not on a first date. It’s very attractive to me.”

“For our next date I’ll have to bring you to my place to watch The Notebook. I am definitely at my most emotionally vulnerable then.”

Aaron stopped, realizing what he had said. It sounded incredibly ambitious, and that worried Aaron. He didn’t want to come off as too strong, especially with his slight disaster of a first date. (Y/N) might not have wanted to go on a second date with him, and to invite her over to his own house for it? Idiot!

To Aaron’s relief, (Y/N) just smiled. “You’d like to do a second date?”

“Well, I mean...if you want to. I would definitely like to see you again, but not if you’d rather end things with the one date.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “No, I’d love to go on another date. But first, I’d like to get to know you more. From your own mouth, and not just from Karen’s. Want to go grab a coffee and we can talk for a while? Then you can decide if I’m the deal breaker for a second date or not.”

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I don’t think there’s anything you could say that would be the deal breaker over taking someone to see such a sad musical on the first date.”

“It wasn’t sad!” (Y/N) protested. “It just had sad parts. I would gladly go see another musical again, I’m just not emotionally ready for that one again any time soon.”

Aaron laughed and took her comfort as an opportunity to lace his fingers through hers, the same way she had when the musical started. “You have a point. But, let’s not argue about which one of us will be the deal breaker. Let’s go get some coffee.”

I didn’t mean for this to be so short, but I hope you like it either way!

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

I can see us Lost in the Memory

Summary: Caring is not an advantage. To Mycroft, this was a belief he found through the calculated logic that ruled his life. If was analytical and detached and certainly had nothing to do with Sherlock or the childhood neighbor.

Love You to the Moon and to Saturn

A/N: In a break from my regularly scheduled SVU writing, here’s a four part Folklore inspired Mycroft Holmes thing.

Salt air, and the rust on your door I never needed anything more Whispers of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before"

When the Holmes parents invited Ruth on their vacation to start the summer, she couldn’t resist the chance. Her mom would be busy, and the family would be staying on a beach in a little house for a week. You’re just so good with both my boys Mrs. Holmes had said with a soft smile as she pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Since Christmas, she’d had late night phone calls with Mycroft regularly, sneaking the handset for the phone to her room and staying up to happily listen to the minutiae of his day and tell him about her own. To help calm his worries, she took to dropping by to visit Sherlock. But this trip in May would be their first time together save a stolen weekend after midterms where she’d made it to Oxford.

When she arrived at their usual home, not the country house she was so used to, Sherlock darted out, wrapping around her as she laughed. He was almost not a little boy anymore, though she was certain he’d find something broken that they’d try to rebuild together.  She could see Mycroft’s frame in the doorway, and her breath caught. He’d only gotten stuffier since going to Oxford, always in a suit. It worked for him or she’d have teased him mercilessly for it. There was also the fact that she was simply overjoyed to see him. 

“Missed you,” she said softly, looking up at him as Sherlock watched them suspiciously before going back into the house.

“And I missed you, Ruth.”

“Mummy, I think Mycroft and Ruth are going to start snogging.” The youngest Holmes ran to the kitchen, and Ruth flushed a deep pink and giggled as the very tips of Mycroft’s ears changed color.

“Do you care if she knows?” Ruth asked, and Mycroft was acutely aware of the power he had to hurt Ruth in that moment. He would never dream of it, but this would potentially be over in three years, at which point hurting her would be inevitable. But still he held out hope he could balance both.

“Not at all,” he said softly, the same dignified air he always carried. But instead of staying away as he led her in, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before placing a hand on the small of her back and leading her into the house. His mother and father had the kindness to leave them be, and the drive went smoothly. When Sherlock became antsy, Ruth watched as Mycroft told him about people he’d encountered at university, problems in the dorms. It was a game the pair had always played when Sherlock had to be kept still too long. The younger Holmes would tell Mycroft how obvious it was his roommate's girlfriend had been eating all the food from the common area, and Mycroft would pretend he hadn’t figured it out with the same reasoning.

“Ruth, come here,” Mrs. Holmes had said, calling her to the kitchen as she left the boys to unload bags from the car. “Are you dating my son?”

“I love him very much.”

“The boys are in the last room on the left. You’ll be the first on the right. Behave yourselves, allright?”

“Yes ma’am.”

The evening found them watching Sherlock as Mr. and Mrs. Holmes went to dinner, and since Christmas, he’d discovered documentaries again, sprawling on the couch to watch one on pirates. It was good to see some things didn’t change. What had changed was that Mycroft was willing to give him a little more space. They cooked dinner together, and Ruth was rewarded with soft brushes of his hand over her back as he passed. She suspected he’d always be himself, not one for casual affection when someone could see. But when his brother was tucked into bed, there were soft kisses that grew more desperate and whispered confirmation they were both sure. She stole the Oxford sweatshirt from his bag after, determined not to let his mother find them anything but decent but wanting to keep everything on her as some extension of him.

“I don’t know why they got you a sweatshirt anyway,” she teased lightly, watching him smoke in the dark. “I’ve never seen you in a shirt without a collar.”

“I suppose mummy thought I might wear it to sleep. I don’t think she expected it to be worn by someone else during a post-coital cigarette.” He wore cotton pajama pants and a plain t-shirt, though she expected he had sets with collared shirts for when he was at school. The wind blew in from the water, and she wished she’d grabbed pants instead of letting the crewneck serve as a dress. He noticed her shiver, holding out an arm as he exhaled smoke. She pressed against his side and his arm wrapped around her. 

“Just someone?” she teased. “You know, I think I might be your girlfriend.”

“How is that any different than we’ve always been?”

“It means we build a future together. Don’t date other people. Communicate regularly.”

“I suppose you are my girlfriend,” he said, though she could tell he didn’t particularly care for the word. 

“So you think about a future with me?”

“Constantly,” he admitted, choosing to omit how much of that was grappling with the danger Rudy’s position could put her in when he took over. That he’d have to eventually tell her about Eurus. But he was young and selfish and certain he could separate it.

Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you

Ruth had never been able to get Mycroft to the beach in anything but a polo shirt, but it seemed the way the last of his baby fat had melted off at university meant he was willing to join his brother and Ruth in the water. He still wore a polo shirt and boat shoes with his swim shorts, but he slipped both off and followed when Sherlock beckoned he and Ruth to join him in finding the sandbar. He almost said no until he saw how giddy Ruth looked as she peeled the other unworn bit of Oxford merchandise he’d acquired: a t-shirt that would have fit had he not lost weight. He liked seeing it on Ruth; it made him realize he was getting territorial.

“C’mon,” Sherlock called to them from the water’s edge. 

“We’re coming, Sherlock,” Mycroft scolded gently. “You must wait so we can be sure the tide doesn’t whisk you away.”

“Don’t scare him,” Ruth said, swatting his arm before she hurried and ruffled his brother’s hair. “We’ll find the sandbar, but then Mycroft and I are going to come back to land. I think you ought to see how big of a sandcastle you can make. Maybe even big enough you can hide in it.”

“Do you think there are artifacts in the sand, Ruth?”

“Probably not ones we’ll want to keep. But maybe bottles or keys.” The tide was low enough when they waded to the sandbar that Ruth and Mycroft could sit on it and watch as Sherlock ran along. He could dig as well, finding shells and loading them into the pockets of his swim shorts.

“Why must we be in this wet sand instead of on the towels on land?” Mycroft huffed, and Ruth poked his side.

“Your brother missed you. He likes you being close, even if you aren’t a part of his excavation. He’ll want to build soon, and since shells aren’t restorable like a trowel, he’ll go back to land for a sandcastle.”

“He only yells when I call him.”

“And what does he yell about?” Ruth had heard Sherlock during one of these calls. One of the calls where Sherlock yelled at Mycroft for leaving. But this would pass. She always promised Mycroft that it would pass, and Sherlock would understand his big brother would always come home. 

“Don’t look so proud,” Mycroft huffed.

“It’s not often I’m the one who’s right.”

“You’re often right when it comes to feelings.”

“I love you. My big brained robot.”

“I love you, my darling.”

“That sounds way more romantic than big brained robot. But god, I like hearing you say it. I know it isn’t easy for you.”

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” He had a glint in his eye as he looked down at her, and she smiled broadly up at him, delight apparent.

“You read Jane Austen?”

“Everyone does.”

“You only store things you want, Mycroft.”

“When I read it, I thought of you. I was fifteen. I was a fool and didn’t process what that meant for another year. But whenever I read a poem or a novel and they talk about ardent love, your face is my first thought. I wish I were someone who spoke so eloquently of his own feelings. But I do not understand why I love you. It honestly perplexes me. You are wild and hard headed and love the most mindless things. But I would gladly listen to you describe popular music or the intricacies of a flower crown for hours because of the way your smile and laugh sound more melodic than any symphony. What is unbearable in others only serves to make affection blossom when it is in you. Perhaps it’s because I feel I understand you like I can’t understand most, and I feel that you see me not just as some big brained robot but as who I am. And I am grateful for that, even if it perplexes me to no end.”

 “God, you really can be sappy,” she said, tearing up as she wrapped around his middle. Without his parents or peers there, he was more comfortable to stay sitting as perfectly upright as ever, but slip an arm around Ruth and press a lingering kiss to the top of her head. “You’ll keep calling when you go back to school, right?”

“I will. And we’ll figure how to see each other. I know it hasn’t been easy. Uncle Rudy has so much for me to do on top of my course work.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Mycroft. It’s four to six years we have to get through. We can do that.”

“Have you thought about university?”

“Cambridge or Oxford. The latter, while a delightful institution, is due to a bias for a certain student.”

“What do you want to study?”

“I think I’d be a good teacher. Kids Sherlock’s age.”

“You’ve always done well keeping him engaged. That’s a feat in and of itself. But, I always expected that you’d pursue English. Write.”

“I need a job.”

“Writing is a job. You could work in editing too. But, you write so beautifully. And it makes you so happy. I’m certain you would flourish. It may be harder, but you’re intelligent enough to parallel plan and work until you’re published.”

“You really think so?”

“I know. And I’m always right.”

“Cambridge is about as far as London from you. Or maybe I’ll go to Oxford.”

“I just want you to select the institution you wish to learn from. I’m sure we can find a halfway point. If not, we can alternate visiting each other.”

“You wouldn’t feel weird if I showed up in your daily life?”

“You’re a part of my daily life. It would be a perpetual summer. Who wouldn’t wish for that?”

“We’ve just only ever had the summer.”

“There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there? I suspect you’ll tire of me when you realize I’m relaxed in the summers.”

“I imagine you wear suits everyday. And your socks, tie, and pocket square all match.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, darling. I don’t wear a tie every day.”

“Oh, there are pictures of  Mycroft in a suit with no tie. Is the top button undone? This is simply scandalous.”

She stretched herself up to kiss him, no hesitation now and fingers brushing through auburn hair. Only the screeched order to Stop being so gross from Sherlock convinced them to pull apart, and Ruth was quite sure he was grinning down at her.

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all

“Are we going to have to chase the two of you from each other's rooms all summer?”

“Mummy, she is my girlfriend. Is it the worst thing if I sleep beside her?”

“You’ll do more than sleep.”

“Yes, Violet, because a bed is the only place teenagers will shag. Never a field or a car or the storeroom at their job. They’re good kids. Leave them be.”

“Siger, this is the third time in a week! Do you want to deal with her mother when we return? She’ll be chasing our boy from her house night after night.”

“Since when does Ruth sleep in her own home? She’s in our guest room most nights. We can feign propriety if it is of such importance and say ‘Oh! I didn’t know he’d snuck into her room’ if for whatever reason Debora learns.”

Ruth was by Mycroft’s side, cheeks pink as she watched his parents. They’d tried to be careful, but she never woke up in time to hurry to her own room. She wanted to tell them her own mother wouldn’t notice anyway, so she should be able to climb into bed with Mycroft. They were talking about flats at Oxford, little ones they would stuff full of books and she’d ensure were always stocked with flowers. She’d made up her mind she’d go there. Mycroft was ready to tell Rudy he was in love, and it didn’t matter what the job entailed; Mycroft could balance it if it meant he’d have Ruth. For once, he was hopeful.

“Both of you, listen to me,” he said firmly, arm around Ruth. “Where do you think she stayed when she visited me at Oxford? This began at Christmas, so I hardly believe it to be a phase. I love her, and upon her graduation, we intend to get a flat near the university. Accept it now, or accept it later. It does not matter to me. This is the reality.”

“You’re following him to Oxford?” Violet seemed to be appraising her now. 

“Yes.”

“You really do love him?”

“Yes.”

“Just don’t make me a grandmother any time soon,” she said finally, obviously acquiescing as her husband followed her to the kitchen again with quiet assurances they’d be fine. Ruth’s cheeks were pink, but she wrapped around Mycroft and kissed him.

“What is that for?”

“You professed your love for me to your parents? You finally put your foot down over something and it's me?”

“I wish to maximize every moment I have you by my side between now and August.”

“I’ll miss you so much.”

“We’ll sort it out. Two terms. Then you’ll follow me to Oxford.” 

“Ruth will leave too?” The soft voice of Sherlock came from the hall, and she pulled away from Mycroft to kneel by him. 

“It’ll be just like the end of summer,” she promised. “It was harder with your brother because he lives with you. But, you usually only see me in the summer, and I’ll still be here for every summer. Who else will help me excavate the garden?”

“Why does everyone go to Oxford?”

“They don’t. But lots of people go to uni, and you will too one day. You’ll get a degree to be a detective or an archaeologist or marine biologist.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“It’s a whole year away. You’ll be a teenager.”

“I guess that’s an okay time for you to go to Oxford.” He bent to look around her to his brother. “You could do well to learn from her, Mycroft.”

“You need to stop being so rude. He’s getting a degree so he can afford to keep you out of trouble forever and ever, kiddo.”

“I’m never in trouble.” 

“Mhm. Never, ever have I scooped you up before mummy could catch you performing experiments.”

“Shh!”

Ruth simply laughed, moving to stand again, Sherlock’s gaze again fluctuating between bored and curious about the world around him as she moved to sit in the arm chair beside the one Mycroft had settled into with his book. She opened her own, feet tucked under her, reaching towards him and resting her hand on the small table between them. He looked at it before resting his hand in hers.

“I like this,” she said softly. He made a noise of agreement, legs crossed. “I could get used to it.”

“We’ve a whole summer ahead, dear.”

That night found them tangled in bedsheets, not bothering to pretend he was going to be sleeping in the room with Sherlock. He rather liked sleeping by her, and he was grateful she was so content to lay against his side, close enough it was intimate and safe, but not requiring their bodies to be tangled. But she did like to play with his hands, especially in the afterglow. She would trace the lines of his palms or the veins on the back of his hand, watching her own actions in the moonlight. He stopped her tonight, letting his fingers slip between hers. She smile down at him, her hair a curtain as she leaned to press a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“Get some sleep, Ruth.”

“Does anyone ever take care of you, Mycroft?”

“I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“Everyone does. And I’m going to from here on out, okay?”

“I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“How often do you sit in the sun and read for pleasure at Oxford?”

“There isn’t time.”

“I’ll make sure there is when I’m there. You need to give yourself breaks.” He didn’t agree, but instead of arguing, he pulled her to his side, deciding he could tangle himself with her awhile, savoring the closeness. 

“You are too gentle for this world, darling. Please never change.”

[incorrectzutaraquotes]

let’s talk racial micro aggressions, because i’ve been seeing a lot of them being used online toward people speaking out about racism and even in fandoms unfortunately, so i think it’s time we have a talk. this is gonna be a semi long one, so buckle up.

just for reference, im asian american. because of that i’ve gone my entire life experiencing racism and discrimination simple because im not white. of course, i have definitely had it better than a lot of people, but that doesn’t take away from my experiences at all. i grew up hating the way i looked, trying to fix myself because i genuinely thought something was wrong with me. this led to years and years of insecurity and self hatred. something i had to go through alone, because my family was white and i was too afraid to tell them how i felt. i was afraid they wouldn’t understand. it’s still something i struggle with, though it’s gotten better.

growing up, as stated before, i was around white people. growing up in a very white town, i unfortunately wasn’t formally educated on racism or what micro aggressions were, i just knew that certain comments made me uneasy and uncomfortable, and hurt my feelings. it wasn’t until i was older, when i started using social media that i really came to understand what all of this was. 

a lot of you who have white privilege are using it to uplift bipoc voices, and i think that’s great. however it’s also important to acknowledge that many people who are actively anti racist still have implicit biases, which can lead to microaggressions.

first of all, what are microaggressions? you may or may not be familiar with the term. if you’re not, that’s okay! you can use this post to educate yourself and make sure you don’t make these mistakes in the future. microaggressions are defined as brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioural, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalized groups.

basically, intentional or unintentional derogatory and prejudice behaviors directed towards marginalized groups.

these are very harmful to marginalized groups, mostly because they’re not as blatant as outright racism, misogyny, homophobia, etc. this makes it often hard to detect, and you may have found yourself using micro aggressions at some point in your life. that’s not important though, what’s important is that, if you have used them in the past, you understand what you said or did was wrong, and that you learn from it.

now, what are specific racial micro aggressions? i’ve compiled a list of them under the cut, and explained why these are insulting and harmful to poc.

“where are you really from” – this insinuates that we will always be seen as foreigners, and not citizens to our own country. it brings on a feeling of not being good enough and that we will not be accepted. 

“not everything’s about race” – if you’re white stop telling bipoc how to feel about race. we are tired of it. please don’t speak over us when we are expressing our discomfort. if poc people are telling you something is racist, it’s racist. stop trying to argue with us, as you are not the ones being affected by it. 

“your food is so weird” – it’s only weird to you because it hasn’t been westernized or americanized. insisting that foreign foods are weird or gross because you aren’t used to it, is hurtful. it’s insulting. 

“all asians look the same” – by saying this, you’re taking away our individuality. asia is a huge continent, not all of us follow the same traditions and not all of us look the same. it’s not a funny joke, and it never has been. 

“you’re pretty for a *insert any race here*” – this is just such a backhanded compliment. it implies that we are not typically or conventionally pretty. it has the same negative connotations as saying “you’re really good...for a girl”. that’s misogynistic for the same reasons saying this is racist. 

“i don’t see color” – again, you’re basically erasing our individuality and culture and telling us we shouldn’t embrace it. many pocs even completely distance themselves from their cultures to seek white validation, which is in every sense of the word, upsetting. people want to fit in so bad that they’re willing to leave behind their entire culture. something that sucks about being adopted at such a young age from a white family, is that i have never had a connection with my culture. i know nothing about it, and that hurts. i rationalized in my head that the reason i didn’t learn about it sooner was because i was happy, but that was a lie i told myself for years. the sad thing is, is that because i wasn’t connected to my culture at all, i fit in better and had an easier time making friends then other pocs in my school. 

assuming all asian people are smart or good at math – stop. it’s not funny. never has been. the stereotype that all asians are smart is not a compliment, and puts a lot of pressure on us as individuals. it objectifies us, assuming we are more like machines and not actual people. long story short, it’s dehumanizing. 

“im not/cant be racist i have black friends” – contrary to popular belief, yes you can be. you can still have a racial bias while being friends with bipoc people. being associated with poc people doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not racist. you may even make racist jokes and think it’s okay because they don’t tell you to stop. just because they are seemingly unbothered does not mean it’s not still racist. a lot of times we are uncomfortable in situations like that, but are too afraid to speak up in fear of our feelings being invalidated or being told to lighten up because it’s just a joke. saying we’re too sensitive when it comes to making mockeries of our races and cultures, is also a micro aggression. 

saying “you people” or “y’all” when talking, usually negatively, about a person of a specific race – you’re generalizing an entire group because of one bad experience which is just contributing to the stereotypes and racism we face daily. one or a few bad interactions with a person of a different race does not speak for an entire population.

clutching your bag tight when a poc person, usually black or latinx, stands next to you or following them in the store – the way i still have to explain this one in 2020. they are not criminals, but by doing this, you’re contributing to the stereotype that they are all criminals and thugs, which simply isn’t true. this stereotype is very damaging and harmful, as it also contributes to the systematic oppression of those people. 

assuming someone only got a certain job or position because they’re bipoc – this insinuates that we did not work hard to get where we are, and that we did not deserve what we got. we simply got it because we aren’t white. affirmative action comes up a lot in this conversation. all affirmative action does is help decide between equally qualified people by favoring the ones who suffer from discrimination in society, but it does not reserve spots for them.

assuming someone knows how to speak mandarin because they’re asian – asia is a large continent with A LOT of languages and cultures. not everyone is chinese. not everyone speaks the same language. it’s insulting and adds to the already hurtful stereotype that all asians look the same.

“you speak english really well” or “how did you learn to speak english so well” – it’s called practicing because people have been making fun of those with accents for years, simply because they are not used to it. being surprised when a poc speaks english well implies that you may think because they’re not white, they are less educated. we’ve simply assimilated because our cultures are constantly rejected and mocked by white people and even other pocs. this also contributes to the notion that westerners are more “civilized” or that they are better, because they(generally speaking this obviously doesn’t apply to everyone)make no effort to learn our cultures, but we have to learn theirs in order to be seen as “acceptable”.

“but *insert race* are racist too” or pointing out immoral things other countries do when people of that race speak up about racism - you’re redirecting the conversation to avoid responsibility. you don’t actually care about those issues, you just want to invalidate our struggles by pointing out that a place many of us have not been to in a long time, or ever, is very flawed. we have no say in what that government chooses to do. not all places are a democracy, and many democracies around the world are flawed.

something important to remember is that anyone can be guilty of implicit bias and micro aggressions. this is not selective to one race. 

if you have anymore of these, please feel free to add on. also, if you’re a poc and something i wrote made you uncomfortable, please tell me. i want to make sure im being truthful with what i said. i did do research for some of these, and some were based on personal experiences, but if you want to add to something or you want me to change or delete something do not hesitate to call me out. 

unfortunately they and other racial stereotypes are very prevalent in american media, which has normalized it in our society. this post is solely meant to educate if you weren’t previously aware of the dangers micro aggressions have on minorities. i started the list because i was tired of seeing so much normalized racism online, but i hope you learned something useful with this. if you stuck around this long, thank you for listening. i appreciate it a lot. 

as for my zutara fans, i apologize for making so many rant posts rather than posting incorrect quotes. i just feel like im able to reach a larger audience with the platform i have on this account than any other one. 

anyway, that’s all. thank you again for listening :) 

[itsclydebitches]

Was planning on making this my own post, but I thought you would be more suited to discussing this sort of topic. Something I've noticed when it comes to the more prominent/important/strong female characters (Nora, Pyrrha, Penny, Robyn, Emerald, Sienna) is that RT often has the tendency of giving them masculine allusions (Thor, Achilles, Pinocchio, Robin Hood, Aladdin, Shere Khan) as if they are unable to stand on their own as characters unless they have that connection to a male character. 1/3

It is worth discussing! Yeah, I hesitate to call it a pattern just because, as you say, Team RWBY themselves are an exception to the rule  — and as the title characters of the story, they’re a pretty big exception. We also have good women allusions turned into good women characters (Glynda with The Good Witch, May with Maid Marian) and bad women allusions turned into good women characters (Winter with The Snow Queen — I don’t think she was ever meant to enter full antagonist territory, but that’s another post). So it’s not just a matter of saying, “RWBY models their strong women after male inspirations and turns all female inspirations into male characters.” It’s not that simple. But the fact that it’s not simple doesn’t mean there’s nothing there to unpack because I definitely understand the feeling you’re pointing to, anon. Team RWBY feels like it has the most thought put into it in terms of changing up these allusions, specifically when it comes to subversion: the little girl in a red hood who previously needed a hunter’s protection has become the hunter herself, Belle overcomes both her Gaston and the now evil Beast, Snow White extracts herself from her own abusive situation (with a little help from the Dwarves still), and Goldilocks is no longer lost and in need of basic necessities, but can rather punch her way out of any establishment  — like, say, a club. The execution of these themes aside (how Adam was handled, turning Jacques’ arrest into a joke, etc.), there’s a commonality here that works. Or at least, it works for me. Yet when we expand the allusions past our title team, things get... very messy. That’s when we start to hit on these concerns. 

I’d say the problem stems primarily from that lack of thought, not the act itself of turning women characters into men or vice versa. Meaning, as I’ve said in the past, RWBY’s use of allusions is terribly unreliable nowadays, and that’s not just in terms of plot expectations like, “Why did Penny have to become a flesh girl because Pinocchio, but Ironwood didn’t stay good because Tin Man?” It also includes these questions of why these changes were made and what sort of messages they send. As you lay out, why are so many of our heavy hitters  — the most talented huntress, the lightning-immune smasher, the Maiden android, etc.  — based on men? Why are many of the effeminate and “weaker” men  — Jaune the untrained, Ren the emotional councilor, Oscar the kid who wants to talk it all out  — based on women? Again, I don’t intend to sling any hard accusations, but rather to point out what’s likely a subtle, unconscious bias. To provide another example, I’ve seen talk recently about how RT (again, unconsciously) depicts the faunus, where all the good characters have culturally established “good” animal features and all the bad character have culturally established “bad” features. It’s cat ears, rabbit ears, sheep ears, monkey tails, dog tails, and beautifully changing skin color vs. scorpion tails, spiderwebs, bull horns, tiger ears, bat wings, and crocodile scales. Is it a perfect 1:1 divide? No, Ghira has panther claws and Fennec has fox ears, but there’s enough there for us to go, “RT tends to give the good guys cute features and/or features we associate with safe animals, whereas the bad guys tend to get ugly features and/or features we associate with dangerous animals.” I feel the same way here, that there’s a bit of a trend at play, with the caveat that there are more complications simply by virtue of these allusions being, well, complicated. But there’s enough there to make us stop and think, “What were RT’s intentions with this? If they just chose something based on the rule of cool, what might those inclinations tell us about gender norms in America?” Meaning, when someone goes, “Idk, we just thought it would be cool to change this up” there’s a lifetime of media consumption driving that choice. It’s not actually random, but based on whatever has been normalized  — unless you actively counteract that by thinking through what you want the change to do. 

Unconscious biases are always at work. When we analyze something like this it’s often not a matter of saying, “The author is [insert accusatory term here]” but rather just, “The author is falling into expectations, patterns, and normalized decisions based on the culture they’ve grown up in.” Which includes things like thinking, “Well, if this character is based on a male god, she must be crazy strong. If this character is based on a woman fighter, he’s probably more emotional.” Such biases may be driving a lot of decisions because, as said in the past, I really don’t think RT is putting much thought into these allusions, if any at this point. For me, Penny was proof of that  — the inability to see how following her allusion utterly destroyed her character growth  — but even if we don’t agree about Penny, what about Salem? Far from just using her name, this volume gave us a blatant reference to the events of Salem Trails in the 1690s. Namely, the burning of the witch. 

Except references like this can’t just look cool. This isn’t a video game Easter egg with no real connection to the story, it’s a cinematography/plot choice that carries meaning. So what is that meaning? Well, the thing about the women on trail at Salem is that they were innocent. This is what that reference says: “Hey, remember that real life event where women who weren’t witches were horrifically killed because others thought they were evil? None were actually burned, but culturally we tend to think they were. So that’s the image in our collective mind: innocent women on fire.” Except... Salem is actually a witch. Salem is evil. Salem is guilty. Or at least, the questions surrounding the extent of her guilt  — How much responsibility does she hold in comparison to the Gods? How much agency does she still have after the grimm pool?  — has not been acknowledged by the text. Yang just yelled at Salem for killing her mom and Oscar is about to blow her up. This is not a “Question Salem’s humanity” scene, it’s a “Kill the witch” scene... yet it uses an allusion that is contrary to what the moment is trying to achieve. So what are we supposed to take away from this? Do we adhere to the subtext and believe that Salem is innocent somehow, ignoring what the actual text says, or do we uphold the text and in doing so undermine the reliability of every other allusion in the show? If we can’t trust Salem’s, why would we trust, say, Penny’s? 

RWBY’s allusions are all over the place and yes, I think that lack of consideration extends to who they randomly decided to genderbend. There’s no acknowledgment of  — let alone engagement with  — how many of these characters and historical figures were trying to pass themselves off as another gender, nor does RWBY acknowledge how the need to do so feeds into our current and historic assumptions about gender as a whole. Why does the man dress as a woman? To keep himself safe and seen as a non-threat. Why does the woman dress as a man? To gain access to places previously barred from her and to gain the respect she otherwise wouldn’t be afforded. And, of course, in 2021 there’s the expectation that media will include trans characters, GNC characters, non-binary characters, cis characters uninterested in practicing traditional femininity/masculinity, etc. None of which RWBY tackles outside of May, a woman who references a systematic transphobia we otherwise never see in the show. May, as a minor character, is great and I am in all honesty thrilled that she exists in the RWBY canon. However, the rest of the show is built on an anime conception of gender  — combat skirts and bare midriffs in the snow  — while nevertheless engaging with the very complicated question of how you re-imagine canonically/historically gendered people. As a “girl power” show, RWBY has opened itself up to questions like, “Okay, it’s great that you made these four fairy tale girls kickass, but can we talk about making Joan of Arc into a bumbling guy whose presence as a blonde, blue-eyed, sword-wielding man taking up lots of important screen time has generated accusations about this being a male-centered show?” It’s not a “RWBY is horrible for doing this!” issue, but a “RWBY is deliberately playing with gender and marketing itself as a progressive show, so... let’s figure out what these individual choices are actually implying and whether or not we consider that progressive.” 

[ffangirlingsince2001]

End of the Tunnel: I

Description: It’s almost been a year since Freed Weasley was lost to the Battle of Hogwarts, and for George Weasley it might as well be an eternity. He is lost in the dark, no color to be found. Until suddenly there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warnings: (future as well as present) suicidal thoughts, smut, angst, fluff, depression,  attempted SUICIDE, self harm, torture, mentions of torture

A/N: So, this is pretty dark, just FYI. There will be happy moments but a lot of the time it will get pretty dark. Trigger warning applies now, just be forewarned. Please enjoy though if you are willing to suffer through the tragedy to get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

MASTERLIST

***

The world ended on May 2, 1998.

At least it did for George Weasley.

He was not dead, of course. His mother and father still loved him. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ron, and Ginny all still hugged him. His business was doing splendid, far better than it ever had before the war, Ron was even helping him run it. And yet, the world felt as if it no longer turned because Fred was gone and that was all that really mattered.

May 2 had been awful, but the funeral was even worse. Friends, family, and strangers wanting nothing more than to hug him or shake his hand when all he wanted to do was destroy everything that touched him. He hadn’t shed any tears that day. He figured he was all out, but now that he considered it, he was sure he had just grown numb.

He had never had a problem smiling before, and even in the winter he was constantly warm, denying every coat his mother sent his way. And now, he was sure he had forgotten how to smile and even in the hottest part of July he wore a sweater, fighting off the chills that ran along his spine.

His mother had pleaded with him to go to therapy, to talk to someone about the tragedy but he had refused. There was nothing a therapist could tell him that he didn’t already know.

He knew he was depressed; he knew Fred was never coming back, and he knew he needed to move forward. He had no interest in reliving the moments when he had witnessed the cold lifeless body of his twin lying on the floor of the school they had once attended. All he wanted to do was the lock the door to his new flat and never come out. He had considered returning to his home above the shop but every time he thought of the memories he had built there his stomach churned and before he knew it he was emptying the contents of his stomach into the nearest sink. So, he gave it to Ron and Hermione and bought himself a smaller one.

He was laying in the bed that occupied most of the studio flat, thinking about the day he moved in as he struggled to get up. The walls were grey, and the bedsheets were white. He hadn’t bothered to buy curtains, so the dingy light of the cloudy morning was highlighting the dust he had let build up over the months. No pictures hung on the walls; no Knick knacks sat on the shelves. Dishes were piling up from the last spout of motivation, not that he ate a whole lot these days. Most importantly, there were no mirrors. He had ripped the bathroom one from the wall and shattered it in the street the moment he moved in, completely satisfied with giving up his security deposit for a little bit of sanity. His world was completely colorless. His skin was pale and the warmth that had generally resided in his face had seeped away like water from a washcloth. In fact, the only color one could find in the small room was his hair, shining just as brightly as it had the day the world ended.

He had dyed it once. A dark brown, the most boring color he could think of, but the moment his mother had seen it she burst into tears and begrudgingly changed it back, if only to avoid the dirty looks that Ginny shot him through the very uncomfortable family dinner.

Today was the first of March, and George could feel the anniversary of Fred’s death drawing nearer with every movement of his body. His muscles ached and his bones creaked like an old rocking chair no one had touched in a century.

As he laid there he considered never getting up, but eventually with great effort he pulled himself from the cold sheets and pulled on the dullest clothing he owned. A grey tailcoat covered a white button up and black slacks, severely pressed hung a bit short over his ankles. The shoes were so old they no longer shined. He didn’t bother brushing his hair, sure that the howling wind would mess it up anyway.

He left the door without eating breakfast and turned down the street in the opposite direction of the store. He couldn’t bare to go to work today, and Ron could handle it.

Ron had gotten a lot better at handling it.

He was right about the wind, it battled against him like it was trying to force him to go to work, but he pushed on, determined to spend his day in miserable loneliness. Somedays he imagined Fred was screaming at him from the clouds, telling him to stop being a git and move on with his life, but he had never been good at taking orders. So, without any regard for the signs of the universe he continued to push on, wrapping his arms around himself as he tried to keep warm.

In honor of his mood, it began to pour and before he knew it, he was drenched to the bone, the neat he clothes he had donned pressing tightly against this skin. By now he was in a muggle town he had never been to. The streets were completely empty, no one wanting to get caught in the torrential downpour.

He was going to turn around, go home if not to work, when he heard a voice shouting through a roll of thunder. He glanced around, searching for the source, and was met with the sight of a woman hailing him towards her store. He looked behind him, checking for someone else, when he heard a sharp laugh.

“I’m talking to you, silly. Now, come in before you catch a cold,” she called, stepping into the rain to usher him closer. He walked quickly, ducking through the doorway as he followed her inside. He watched as she shoved the door closed against the atrocious wind, the bell jingling ferociously overhead. When she had succeeded, deadbolting it for good measure she turned to face him. She wrung out her blonde hair as she studied him with bright eyes (they reminded him an awful lot of what his used to look like). “What on earth are you doing out in this weather?” she laughed, and he shrugged, unsure of how to approach the situation. He had not been met with such glee in an exceptionally long time. When he didn’t respond he smile faded and concern rested heavy on her shoulders. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t think so,” he muttered, and she nodded.

“Then I think you need a drink.” She ushered him to barstool and disappeared behind the counter. “Butterbeer or tap?” His eyes snapped to her when she mentioned the magical drink. “Butterbeer then.”

“You’re a witch?” he blurted, and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Oh no, but I know my customers, and you are clearly a wizard.”

“How can you tell?”

“The wand in your tailcoat.” He glanced down and sure enough, a faint outline of his wand was visible against the fabric. “No need to obliviate me though, I’m no snitch. I’ve had all types in this little pub of mine, vampires, werewolves after a particularly bad night, wizards, what you call muggles, I’ve even had a couple goblins gamble in my back room, no bias here.” He didn’t say anything as she twittered on, setting the mug in front of him and leaning on her elbows as she took him in with earnest curiosity. A few minutes of silence before she spoke again. “Do you want to talk about it, that’s what bartenders are for to hear all your tragedies while you drown them in the best liquor we have?”

“Who are you?”

“Hannah Gladdis. And you are?”

“George Weasley.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen, twenty in June. You?”

“Twenty-one in April. How’d you come to own a magical bar at nineteen?”

“It was a tragic thing really, last year the owner died in a war with your sort. I was a waitress then, but he left it to me in his will, so now it’s all mine. Honestly, I’m surprised I survived long enough to own it, luck I guess.”

“What happened?”

“These men in masks came and tore the place apart looking for the owner, shouting something about blood traitors, but he wasn’t in. It was just me, hiding right behind this counter praying that they wouldn’t find me.”

“Did they?”

“Yes,” she whispered, fear creeping into her eyes as she thought about the night she was describing to him. “They used two spells. One made me feel like I was on fire and the other made me bleed, I can barely remember it. The whole thing was awful, by the time they were sure I didn’t know I could barely move. They set the place on fire and left me to die, still hunting for him, I guess since he’s dead now. Somehow someone saved me, I don’t even remember them but they must have performed a counter curse because I got out with only a few scars, but you would know all about those,” she said noting his missing ear. “Were you in the war?”

“Right in the center of it. Do you have any firewhiskey?” She nodded and dropped beneath the counter and pulled out the familiar bottle.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“How do you know I lost anyone?” he growled, and she offered him a sad smile.

“I lost friends and I’m not even a witch, I figured a hero right in the center of it wouldn’t come out unscathed. Also you’re missing an ear.” He grunted and threw back the shot of liquor she had poured. “You won though?”

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way,” he mumbled, and she nodded, taking one of his hands into hers. He watched her hands cradle his as if he were the fragile one, but he could see the scars that were etched into her fingers. He ran is thumb along one of the more prominent ones. When he glanced up, she was biting her lip, eyes focused on the thumb that was stroking the harsh scar. He whispered her name, but she didn’t move. He said it again and this time her eyes met his. He wanted to say they were blue, but that didn’t seem quite right. Her dark eyelashes were hanging heavily over them, casting shadows into the two small pools of ocean that stared back at him. He was going to say something more, let the light buzz from the liquor take control and pull her against him, but she moved away before he could. With an awkward laugh she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and pulled herself a shot, downing it just as quickly.

“It’s not even noon,” she laughed to herself and he shrugged.

“I’ve been drunk before noon before, nothing to ashamed of.”

“Isn’t that a sign of alcoholism?”

“Not that I’ve ever heard of before.” He flashed her a tight, unpracticed smile that made his heart cringe against his ribs but it seemed to work. Pink washed over her cheeks and she was quick to busy herself among the empty glasses, searching for one to clean.

“So, what’s someone like you wandering the streets during a downpour?”

“Escaping.”

“By catching a cold?”

“Or something like that.” She laughed awkwardly, running a damp washrag over the top of the bar, avoiding eye contact at all costs, and it was killing him. He wanted to look into her eyes all day. He had to think of something, do something, say something that would draw her back.

“Why didn’t the Ministry take your memories?” he asked, and then silently cursed himself. Out of all the topics he could have chosen, he chose the one that terrified her. He hadn’t spoken to a stranger so domestically in such a long time it seemed he was out of practice.

“They don’t know, as far as I know they don’t even know I exist. And I would like to keep it that way if you don’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to forget?”

“To forget what?”

“All that pain and fear.”

“I considered it at first, but then I decided it was better to know what was coming then feel broken all over again.”

“No one is going to hurt you like that again,” he growled, far more aggressively than he had intended and she laugh, taking his hand and finally allowing their eyes to meet once more. She didn’t seem scared when she looked at him, it was if she almost wanted to believe him. She really seemed to believe the idea he could chase away her nightmares. He knew he would disappoint; he could barely chase away his own.

“You sound so sure, George, but alas, you won’t always be sitting in my little bar to protect me.”

“Then come home with me.”

She was shocked to say the least, at least that’s what her eyes said.

“I barely know you.”

“Then get to know me.”

“I’m working.”

“You said it yourself, no one is out in this rainstorm.” He sauntered towards the window and flipped the sign around and locked the door. “And anyways, it seems you’re closed.” She studied him closely, and he was acutely aware that she was still holding his hand. Finally, she nodded and for the first time in ten months his heart jolted with joy. He spun her around the bar and caught her in his arms. “Ready?”

“For what?” she began to ask but they were already gone, whipping through the air as he apparated them to the small flat.

She was laughing when they landed, clutching her stomach as she tried to catch her breath.

“My god, that was exhilarating,” she gasped. She was still holding his hand, tighter than ever. He watched her as she looked around and cursed himself for not keeping the place cleaner. “I like your place.” He was sure she was lying; it was so dull and lifeless it was almost a prison cell. The counters were dirty, and the trashcan was overflowing. “It could use a little color, but maybe that’s the beauty of it. I can never decide how to decorate so I’m constantly having to remodel, this way I can just close my eyes and imagine the walls orange.”

“Orange?”

“Or maybe a soft teal, I don’t know, it depends on my mood.” He caught him smiling again for the second time on the day he woke up feeling like death. She was like a ball of sunshine and she was standing in the little place he called home. For the first time since he had been born, he found himself wishing his home was bigger. Even when he was a kid he had never cared, but now that there was someone he was dying to impress he wished he owned the minster’s mansion.

“It’s not much…”

“It’s lovely.” Color tinged his cheeks and now it was his turn to busy himself in the kitchen.

“Would you like some tea?”

“Oh, yes, why thank you,” she said as she glanced out the window, “What part of town are we in?”

“Just on the edge of Diagon Alley.”

“Oh really! I’ve always wanted to come; I’ve heard it’s absolutely beautiful. Wow, a real wizard town. Is it true what they say about Hogsmeade?”

“It depends on what they say,” he chuckled, bathing in her excitement. It was a welcome tone, something he had not felt since months before the end of the world.

“That it’s absolutely picturesque. Someone showed me a post card once, and I called her a liar, told her nothing but a painting could be that beautiful, but she assured me it was all true.”

“She wasn’t lying, if you want, I’ll take you sometime.”

“Wow, not even a first date and you’re already promising to whisk me off to some beautiful village in the countryside.” He blushed when he realized what he had said, abashed that this woman had gotten into his head so quickly. He had never been so infatuated with anything. He turned quickly, spilling hot tea over the side of his hand, but he barely even noticed. Her eyes were big and blue as she stared at him, cheeks pink and lips parted. “George…” she began but the teacups hadn’t even hit the ground when he was taking her into his arms and kissing her as softly as his feelings would allow.

She tasted like Christmas. Cinnamon from the firewhiskey and butterscotch from the beer tainted her lips like frosting on cake he had only eaten in a distant memory. He wanted to throw her to his bed and devour her, experience every inch she would allow him, but her tentative fingers stopped him. He was stranger who had apparated her to his flat in a place she did not know, and now he was doing everything in his power to ravish her like the goddess she appeared to be.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling away as far as he dared. He was not sure he would ever be able to be far from her again, not when he knew how wonderful she was. She stepped forward, still hesitant, and cupped his cheek in her hand.

“No, don’t be. That was brilliant.”

“Then would you mind if I did it again?” She laughed and leapt into his arms, pressing her lips against his. He had never understood people comparing others to home, but as he wrapped his arms around her and he felt her fingers unbuttoning his shirt as fast as she could manage. His hands dropped to the hem of her shirt, prepared to pull it off and admire her entirety but she jerked back. He stopped immediately, pulling away as he searched her face for what he had done wrong. She wasn’t looking at him again, eyes crossed over her chest as she shuffled her feet.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled and he shook his head, taking her cheek in his hand.

“Don’t be. Tell me what you want. If it’s nothing then we’ll do nothing,” he whispered and with tentative fingers she brushed the place where is ear had once been. He wanted to pull away, but he didn’t dare, not when she looked like she was going to break.

“Very few survived your war without scars, even us muggles.” She pulled her hand away and took a deep breath before pulling her shirt over her head. He watched it hit the ground before trailing his gaze over her skin. She hadn’t lied. Scars were etched across skin that had once been soft. They were harsh and angry, still red after what he had assumed was months of healing. Silence crept into the room as he stared, anger coursing through his veins as he imagined the kind of pain that had caused these scars. “Say something,” she whispered, words catching in her throat.

“If I ever find who did this to you, I will not hesitate to kill them,” he growled and she let out a short laugh. “I’m not kidding.” She leaned up and kissed him softly, gratitude laced in every touch. He pulled her closer, fingers trailing the scars that plagued her. They tipped into his bed with unexpected grace, laughing between kisses. Quick fingers undid his pants and he followed suit, exposing soft skin raked with more scars. She didn’t pull away anymore, in fact he was sure she was trying to get closer than possible. Her legs pressed against his hips as her fingers explored every inch of skin. He flipped them over, admiring her against the bedsheets, blonde hair spread out like a halo. He leaned down and kissed her softly as she giggled against his lips.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered before he could stop himself and with all seriousness she nodded.

“Not in a thousand years.”

[ducavalentinos]

How would you rate Sabatini's biography on Cesare? I love it, but I wondered if you had any other (English) recommendations? Also take a shot everyone Sabatini interrupts his narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was sfhttjjggj

I think as far as Cesare bios goes, I’d rate his biography 7/10. I have conflicted feelings with Sabatini’s work, because I love his writing style, his sense of humour is great, it matched mine right away, and he has such a genius way of pointing out the hypocrisy and double standards applied to the Borgia family. He cleverly shows how much of the Borgia myths and general accusations thrown their way are connected to politics (shocker!) and to their Spaniard, and less nobly origins. Not to mention how he exposes the historical bias against Cesare, and general dishonesty with him, from primary sources to modern historians such as Gregorovius, that paragraph Sabatini wrote about him was truly a moment in the Borgia historical literature for me, I'm glad he said it. I just wish he hadn't fallen so hard for the Machiavellian Prince archetype about Cesare. The more I re-read his work, the more it becomes clear to me he took Machiavelli’s writings about Cesare at face value, fell in love with the image presented by him, and then proceeded (whether consciously or unconsciously) to apply this interpretation, one that has its limitations and flaws on their own, to all the facets of Cesare’s character, and all the other aspects of his life lol, which resulted in this too strict, robot-like persona. There is no nuance, no deepth to Cesare’s Sabatini, he exists only as the stoic, unscrupulous, unfeeling Machiavellian Prince. It’s a mistake I see being made time and again by most of Cesare’s biographers, many who follow Sabatini too blindly, or just Borgia biographers in general tbh, but Sabatini’s bio acutely illustrates this particular issue better than the other bios I’ve read I think, (with the exception perhaps of Beuf’s “work”, who somehow managed to outdone Sabatini in this Machiavellian presentation of Cesare, taking it to new extremes with super dramatic and misleading writing, for the most part). And you know, I always get the impression Sabatini had his own conflicted feelings in regards to The Prince, and its clear-headed, pragmatic politics. He seemed to admired it and feel repulsed by it at the time. And those mixed feelings sometimes ended up leaking into his view and writing about Cesare and some historical events, and what he believed had happened (e.g., the take of Urbino), and I find that very interesting. In any case, the point is: Sabatini’s Cesare is unrealistic, and it constantly enters into conflict with what Sabatini also presents as evidence for his history. I mean, he insists throughout the book in reaffirming Cesare was a utter egoist, cold man. Only moved by his ambition and thirst for power. He was incapable of kindness, or of being considerate with others, of feeling compassion, without ulterior motives involved. All of his actions were always calculated to only serve his own interests. Everyone around him were pawns to be used and discarded when they were no longer of any use to him. We are to believe he was a cynic, a block of ice, essentially. We are also to believe he never had genuine emotional bonds with anyone, much less with women. Women were interchangeble to him. Sabatini was convinced he was a man incapable of having a sentimental side, of loving or of having any connection with them beyond the physical aspect. But then, in between chapters, sometimes pages, he also tell us how Cesare seems to have deeply grieved the death of his cousin, Giovanni Borgia, whom he refers as Mio Fatre in his letters. He gives an honest, if quick, account about the marriage and relationship between Cesare and Charlotte d’Albret, in which Cesare’s obvious feelings for her can be seen, as well as his kindness and respect towards her. Sabatini admits the evidence shows they may well have loved each other, and that when leaving Charlotte in charge of all his affairs in France, as the governor and administrator of his lands and lorships there, as well as his heiress in case of his death, Cesare shows “his esteem of her and the confidence he reposed in her mental qualities.” And of Cesare’s policies and behavior as its ruler in the Romagna, it reaches a point where his mere self-interest doesn’t quite alone explain his relationship with this romagnese subjects and many of his decisions. It undermines Sabatini’s claim that it was for show and for his political gain. Last but not least, what is one supposed to make of the hypothesis he posits to the what I like to call, the Dorotea affair? This event is the peak of his contradiction and his mental gymnastics, because to be sure, his hypothesis is not far-fetched. I will concede I thought it was the first I read his bio. But over the years, between carefully separating fiction from history and reading other sources, then going back to his bio, I recognized his hypothesis is one of the plausible ones, certainly more plausible than the official sensationalistic narrative of Cesare simply abducting the innocent maiden Dorotea out on a whim, to satisfy his lust, (the fact Borgia scholars  are still repeating this narrative with a straight face is beyond my comprehension), I can see Cesare doing what he proposes, it def. aligns better with my understanding of him, and all the historical material I’ve read about him and his times, however, this hypothesis is completely irreconcilable with Sabatini’s Cesare. So, he says one thing, then he says another that’s incompatible with the first thing he said, and then proceeds to show evidence that either puts into doubt or confirms the opposite of his characterization of Cesare. And that’s only considering the historical info he dedided to include in his bio. If he had included some of the info Alvisi presents in his Duca di Romagna, a work he must have checked out, if not read it all, given one of the languages he spoke was Italian, and Alvisi’s bio is the best and most authoritative historical work made to date about Cesare and his life, I believe he would have struggled a lot more than he did. It just seems like he enters into a trap of his own making. Turning an already difficult task more difficult than it needs to be, honestly. Ironically, his stance is as messy and contradictory as the aforementioned Gregorovius in his Lucrezia Borgia, where you also have two Cesare(s): the one he sees and wants to present versus the one that emerges from the his own writing at times and historical material he himself exposes it. Overall, his work frustrates on some fronts, and I think it could have been better. It has its faults, some the typical faults/vices fond in Borgia biographies, others very much his own, but nevertheless I have a fondness for his bio which I do not share with others bios on Cesare, or the Borgia family. It is the only bio in the English language I find myself reading again and again, and the one I would put it first as better, or more decent, in this language about Cesare. I admire his honesty, and his bravery in challenging a little bit of Cesare’s dark legend, and the baseless accusations attached to his name. I appreciate what he tried to do, the very least of what I expect from a serious historian when dealing with figures as infamous in popular imagination as Cesare and Rodrigo Borgia. There is no denying his work was one of the main works which advanced Cesare’s historical literature, and the approach to his figure. Moving slightly from the literary, colorful, villain-like character of the Italian Renaissance, towards starting to be more seriously studied as a historical figure properly. And oh my god, yes, interrupting the narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was. It’s funny you mentioned that, because I don’t remember him doing that so much (time for a re-read!), but that's one of the characteristics of the Borgian/Cesarean historical literature heh. I’m yet to read a bio where authors do not feel the need to take a moment to talk about how hot he was, some even a poetic way lol, it’s so amusing, and always the one thing I know I will agree with them, if nothing else. Also, I think Borgia bios have huge potential for drinking games! Like: take a shot of tequila every time Cesare gets badmouthed for no reason, or baselessly asserted guilty of questionable murders, fratricide, rape, and abduction. Or when Juan and Cesare envied and hated each other narrative is repeated. Or when Guicciardini, Sanuto, Cappello and Giustinian are uncritically used as credible sources for Rodrigo and Cesare. Every time Lucrezia gets painted as the Good Borgia, the pretty, passive doll who was the helpless victim of the terrible Borgia men. Or when authors get uncomfortably shippy with the Cesare/Lucrezia relationship resulting in exaggerated claims such as: Lucrezia was Cesare’s only exception, or they were unusually close as siblings, etc. And of course, whenever Cesare’s hotness and allure has to be talked about dsjdsjsj, the list is long, and I think it will get you drunk very quickly. I know I couldn’t keep up back when I was reading Sacerdote’s bio, and I was drinking wine so. As for recs in the English language, I would say Woodward’s bio has its value in terms of sources and historical documents. I also think his analysis about politics, about Cesare’s goverment in the Romagna, and also concerning the conclave of 1503 are generally good. His last five, four chapters are the best ones imo, so if you are interested in these points I mentioned, it might be worth checking out. I would just open a caveat saying that as far as a biography about the person of Cesare Borgia is concerned, it is weak and to be read with a grain of salt. I was mostly unimpressive by his work on that front, and I thought about quitting time and again. He likes presenting himself as the impartial historian, (a big red flag that only makes me twice as cautious when reading any historical work) writing in a mostly sober tone, but of course like all scholars, all people, he has his bias, and they do come to surface from time to time. He displays an peculiar antipathy and ill will towards Cesare at times, which leads to harsh, confusing, unsubstantiated claims about his character and some of the events about his life. In contrast, you can see he is more benevolent and fair towards Rodrigo Borgia, and a constant thought I had while reading his bio was that he obviously chose the wrong Borgia to write a bio on. Had he chose Rodrigo as his Borgia subject, I believe we would have had a pretty good bio about him and his papacy.

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

The thing is, Ian was right. Mickey doesn't know any better, the writers on the show made sure of that, because for them the only important thing about Mickey is his devotion to Ian. But we're a bit more realistic about it and can analyze Ian's actions without being limited by someone's poor imagination.

There’s a lot to address here, so please forgive me for the lengthy response, anon! 🙂 I’ll preface all of it by saying this: my general opinion is that if Mickey has what makes him happy, we should support that regardless of how we feel about the other party (with obvious exceptions like physical abuse, etc.). If Byron was what made him happy, I would support him even if I couldn’t stand the guy. The same goes for any other character in any other franchise, at least for me. Now, onto your points:

I’m not sure which scene you mean when you mention Ian saying he doesn’t know any better, but I’m definitely with you on our ability to analyze Ian’s actions. The problem here is that analyzing will always be colored by perspective and implicit bias. If your fave is Mickey, anything that hurts him will look a whole lot worse than what he does that hurts Ian and perhaps lead to conducting a less than thorough analysis or rejecting sensible arguments about Ian’s character. Based on the number of posts I see about how Mickey is the only good thing on the show, I’d argue that that is a very real danger in many of the takes on Ian as well as everyone else. I’ve seen some pretty heavy demonizing of characters who hurt Mickey’s feelings or aren’t actively sweet to him, which is a bit unrealistic since that’s life and Mickey certainly never seems to mind or let it keep him down for long.

As far as him not knowing better, on the whole, I don’t think that gives Mickey much credit at all. Actually, it doesn’t really give him any credit, which is sort of surprising given how vehemently people defend his IQ, academically and emotionally, against what amounted to a joke. Mickey knows that Ian messes up and does things that are questionable at best and hurtful at worst. He’s not an innocent, pure character who endures heartache after heartache to throw himself at the brick wall of earning Ian’s attention. He gives as good as he gets and has hurt Ian too. They’re human and written very realistically in that regard. Their love for one another allows them to forgive transgressions and move on, not hold grudges or “not know any better” with regards to what they deserve. Love isn’t about what we deserve, and I think it’s important to remember that a relationship won’t last if it’s based on an arbitrary numerical score of who has done more harm than the other. Things happen. Poor decisions are made. They can allow that to break them or work through it. Mickey has actively chosen to work through it because at the end of the day, he loves Ian more than he is interested in finding something else. In earlier seasons, Ian similarly chose to work through it with someone who might never be in a position to come out and begin the full relationship that he so desperately wanted. That’s beautiful to me, not contemptible.

As far as the only important thing about Mickey being his devotion to Ian, we’ll also have to agree to disagree. 🙂 In the early seasons, while Ian was certainly the catalyst for it, Mickey’s story was about coming out more than his devotion to Ian. That’s why we have the scenes where he taunted Kash (focus: keeping his secret), purposely got sent back to juvie (focus: hiding from Terry if he found out), and got married (focus: self-preservation). We do absolutely see a rising devotion for Ian during this period, of course, and there’s no argument that his character was written expressly to be Ian’s love interest. The writers still made him a well-developed one with his own motives, fears, and desires outside of Ian in a way that later love interests didn’t get. (My own belief is that they didn’t intend for the later relationships to last like they did Mickey, but regardless of the validity there, Mickey was written as a character with more depth from the very beginning and existed before anything with Ian ever happened.)

The first half of s4 shows Mickey on his own merits. He’s handling his new position as a patriarch of the family, running the business while Terry is fairly hands-off and watches. He decides to help the Russian girls and ends up going into business with Kev. We learn a lot about Mickey’s character outside of Ian during that time. In fact, there are only a couple of scenes that really focus on him missing Ian until finding him becomes Mickey’s task: asking Kev if anyone has heard from him, the bathroom scene, and the later Alibi scene. Otherwise, the early s4 writers showed us a Mickey who was compassionate, ambitious, utilitarian, entrepreneurial, and collaborative—all without tying it back to Ian. Kev and V are renowned friends of the Gallaghers, but Mickey doesn’t grow closer to Kev in an attempt to learn more about what happened to Ian. He doesn’t help the girls because he thinks Ian would want him to. In fact, with the exception of those scenes I mentioned, we have no reason to believe that Ian is on Mickey’s mind at all while he’s doing these other things. He has a life outside of Ian just like the opposite is true, and s4 went to great lengths to show us that.

The second half of s4 is, once again, about keeping his secret until he decides to come out. (Read: decides to, is not forced to. More on that in a moment.) Yes, his devotion to Ian is once again the catalyst for some of his decisions, but there’s much more to it than that. Once again, we still see scenes with Mickey operating on his own for his own purposes. He doesn’t leave home entirely because he wants to be with Ian—he also wants to escape from his wife and pretend that things are the way they used to be. He doesn’t scam money from the rich guy or take more than his cut from the register at the Alibi to protect Ian—he does it for self-preservation so that Svetlana won’t get him killed. He doesn’t go to the baptism to keep up appearances and protect Ian—he does it to keep up appearances for himself and because...well, like it or not, that’s his son. The lattermost is something Ian specifically does not want him to do, and if he does, he wants to be there. Mickey goes against his wishes because it’s about protecting himself (and perhaps, by extension, their relationship), and rightfully so. Coming out at the Alibi does once again tie to Ian as a catalyst for change in Mickey’s life, but it didn’t have to happen. Mickey could have grabbed his coat, told everyone goodnight, and left with Ian. At no time did Ian tell him that he would leave if Mickey didn’t come out to everyone or admit they’re a couple, even if he did make reference to the fact that Mickey was hiding and not free. All Ian wanted was for Mickey not to treat him like a mistress or expect him to stick around if he did. Instead, it was a logical culmination of Mickey’s written development to come out. He’s stronger and more independent than he used to be. He’s capable of taking care of himself and surviving in the world without relying on Terry. He’s in a position where yes, he’s still justifiably terrified of coming out and what it’ll mean where Terry is concerned, but he’s able to do it. Ian is a catalyst for it, but being devoted to him isn’t Mickey’s only reason.

In s5, a lot of Mickey’s story does revolve around his devotion to Ian, but not any more than Ian’s revolves around devotion to him in the second half of s3. We still see Mickey doing business and running the family, but having Ian be his more central concern makes sense because Ian is sick and the writers have already told us that his health is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. In denial or not, Mickey knows this. And so we see his story center around Ian because, to an extent, it has to. Ian is mentally and physically sick. He’s adjusting not only to meds, but to a label that makes him feel ashamed and afraid. Mickey is devoted to him, and so Mickey does everything he can to take care of him. But here’s the thing: that scares Ian too. He’s seen what happens to the people who try to take care of Monica. He knows how it felt to try only to be ignored or betrayed or abandoned. The breakup isn’t about anger at being coddled or, by my interpretation and Ian’s own words, him being selfish. It’s about him seeing that Mickey’s devotion is going to keep him from living his life and ultimately (in his opinion) hurt him beyond repair, and so he sets Mickey free. It hurts him, yes, but it does work.

Because even though we don’t see it happen on-screen, s6 through s9 can’t possibly be Mickey sitting in a prison cell pining over Ian. If that was going to happen, we’d have seen it in s4. By this point, we know who Mickey is outside of Ian and can assume that he’s operating in much the same way on the inside until he figures out what he wants to do. We know he and Svetlana had a business arrangement where they took out contracts for work he could do in prison. We know that he makes a business acquaintanceship with Damon, which means he was probably involved in dealing or smuggling while there. Neither of these things can possibly revolve around devotion to Ian because they could conceivably keep him from Ian longer. His sentence is fifteen years, and if he’s counting on being out in eight to be with Ian, he needs to be on his best behavior. He’s not. He’s unapologetically not when he sees Ian again and talks about what Damon is. Ian looks less than comfortable with it, but that’s not why they ditch him—it’s because he might get Mickey caught with his behavior. Even breaking out happened once he was able to solidify an opportunity working for a cartel, so while Ian may have been another catalyst (besides the obvious desire to get out of prison), the decision wasn’t about devotion to him. The only decision that was about that was the one he made at the border to let Ian go without making him feel worse about it. He’s devoted to Ian, so he knows that dragging him along on the run into the unknown won’t be good for him. He needs stability and a support system and medication, none of which Mickey can provide if they cross that border together. So, out of his devotion, he lets Ian go. They have a heartfelt goodbye and separate for what they think is the last time.

Does Mickey’s devotion lead him to turning himself in? Absolutely. But not before spending another long stint living his own life. The writers make sure we know that he had a life without Ian playing a role in it, once again conducting business and operating successfully on his own merits. They’re limited in what they can show because Noel wasn’t available, which made logistics important, but they didn’t leave him high and dry or insinuate that he was waiting around in Mexico for an excuse to return to Ian. He was once again a successful businessman in the illicit economy. When he returns in s10, his storyline does then appear to revolve around devotion to Ian more—but it doesn’t. Mickey has people he hangs out with in prison separate from Ian and with no ties to him. With the Byron situation, it wasn’t about proving devotion for Ian when he thought Ian questioned it—it was about hurting Ian because of what happened at the courthouse, even after he found out what Ian was really afraid of. If the writers were only interested in showing his devotion to Ian, he would have ditched Byron the second Ian told him that he was scared of his disorder and ruining them. He doesn’t. He sticks it out because Mickey is so much more than his relationship with Ian: he’s independent, vengeful, hot-headed, impulsive, and stubborn. These are traits that have been set up by the writers throughout the series both with and without ties to their relationship, and he very adamantly adheres to his revenge-plot-turned-catalyst-for-Ian-pulling-his-head-out-of-his-ass because he isn’t all about devotion to Ian.

I completely respect your opinion on the matter and appreciate the opportunity to discuss it at length! Ultimately, it boils down to this for me: the writers get a lot off flack for some of the narrative decisions and, of course, they won’t always be to our liking. Opinions and preferences assure us of that. I don’t think it’s about us being more realistic or more capable of analyzing a character, though. Everything above was written. It wasn’t spelled out and handed to us, no, but the writers put it there so that we could then analyze it. There’s no analyzing a blank slate or someone whose only narrative is devotion to Ian. The writers have given us a wealth of things to consider when it comes to all the characters, Mickey included, and we wouldn’t be able to have this conversation if they didn’t. Mickey is intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and more than capable of standing on his own two feet as both a fictional person and a character. If he chose Ian, then it’s because he has weighed all these things and found them to be nothing in the grand scheme of their love for one another. Again, though, we can agree to disagree. Thank you for this ask—I find myself writing more about Ian, so I had a lot of fun thinking back over the series to answer it! 😃🧡