#of course it is The Book of the season with women's rights being The Theme

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Look the real reason so many book fans are mad about the wheel of time adaptation instead of having a great time with it regardless of changes, is that the production is putting a very strong focus on updating the worldbuilding and characters in specific ways, as well as changing individual events in favor of a more streamlined way to make The Same character beats happen.

Because this is an adaptation to film, and of course they have to change stuff. Come on people. Be realistic. You know how long the series is.

And there are parts of the book series that Do need updating. RJ was trying to be as progressive as he could in a lot of his approach to the series, but what was progressive in the 90s is not as progressive now so of course they are updating it. If you didn’t think this show was gonna have queer people and polyamory then sorry about it. Dear Mr. Jordan was Really Good at writing romantic relationships between women when he thought he was just writing friendships, he did it A Couple times. I would Bet Money on Avilayne becoming canon. This series is being created by a queer showrunner he is absolutely doing a queer reading of these books. Which I am Very Here For.

And he is doing a reading, and changing things. Which again, is Necessary. The book series is Super long and they have 8 seasons to do it in. They’re gonna change individual events to make sure that the main characters go through all the necessary character beats. And you’re just being recalcitrant if you can’t admit that season two Rules in a lot of ways. They are still making sure every important character has all their moments. And each individual episode has focused on some of the most powerful themes of the Entire book series. Including the inherent tragedies inherent to channelers such as: being cut off from the one power in various ways through shielding and stilling, having their own control of the one power taken over by others through weaves and ter’angreal, and living extended lifespans and thus leaving behind their loved ones. They’re doing a Very good job of keeping to the core themes and character beats and also changing stuff around to make the story work on a shorter time frame.

Also they’re working really hard to make sure Every character is as well fleshed out as possible. Meaning that yes, a lot of focus is being spent so far on the other main pov characters and all of the important aes sedai who will matter in the conflicts to come. That’s a good thing. Sorry to the people who only cared about the ta’veren boys or whatever but RJ wrote a ton of interesting and powerful women and they’re all getting their Due in this adaptation that is a feature not a bug.

It’s not like there isn’t stuff to be improved in the original! There is a huge chunk of the wheel of time that a lot of fans refer to as the slog! Where most of the main characters are separated and the plot is barely moving so some characters only show up in like two chapters of a single book, because there are so many individual things happening, before the plot starts moving faster again towards the end of the series. (And then there’s the crimes committed by Mr. Sanderson on the last three books but we’re not going to talk about that right now.

Which personally I would disagree that the slog is where the series is least enjoyable. The section I usually skip when rereading is the first two books, #having a great time right now actually with the show skipping through as much of the minutiae of books I and II as they can. The wheel of time is not a perfect series and Robert Jordan kept trying to finish it in one to three books at first and the first two books suffer as a result.

If you stopped reading in books one or two PLEASE just try to make it to three Trust Me. Or just watch the show and then read the battle of falme in book II and then read book III. You will appreciate books one and two more on a reread after all the stuff he does bring up there has really paid off. And also just have fun watching your faves be more happy than they are in later books ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The show is not Trying to be the books and frankly I’m glad it’s not! This is another turning of the wheel, another version of events, a parallel universe to the randland of the books. And I think they’re doing a pretty brilliant job of telling a version of that story so far this season.

Adaptations will change things. That’s a good thing. Judge it on executing the ideas it is bringing up and staying true to the core of the character arcs and themes of the original. And frankly it’s enhancing a lot of character arcs right now. There are many things that I think the show is already doing better than the books did tbh (Min, Liandrin, Selene, making Perrin spend less time dithering about the Wolf Stuff, speeding up Mat’s healing from the dagger so my best boy gets more time to shine)

Adaptations are transformative works. To lesser and greater degrees they reinterpret a work through a different artistic lens and medium. The changes are not bad because they are changes. Judge it on the execution of the story it’s actually telling instead of a close comparison to the books. And they are keeping as true to the books as they can whether you acknowledge that or not.

If you’re a person who reads fanfiction but you can’t judge a film adaptation for what it is instead of what it’s not then please try Slightly harder.

And if you’re just mad that it’s all queer and polyamorous now and the boys aren’t the only main characters then die mad I guess. I will continue having a pretty great time watching this show chock full of extremely powerful (and sometimes evil) women. I think RJ would have liked it tbh.

[horrorlesbians]

Right, re: the sexism in TDS1, i think the season definitely engages with the sexism and violence of rust and marty in interesting ways. I forget the exact quote but early on rust says something like "I'm a bad man, we need bad men to keep other bad men from the door" which I've always found to be a pretty on the nose commentary on these themes. Marty & Rust justify their violence, sexism, and abuse of people's rights because they see themselves as good guys (in Marty's case), or in service of a greater good/lesser evil (in Rust's case). Which, they are the protagonists and sympathetic so I understand & in many ways agree with a reading that, like most cop shows, TD kind of ends up valorizing rust and marty. ANYWAY I've always thought it to be engaging with it the way you framed it in that other ask - the women and children in these men's lives are treated like shit, and I don't think the show justifies how they're treated like shit (tbh i don't even think the show paints women in a shitty way or blames them, it's that the protagonists do that which isn't the same), but MARTY justifies his behavior by believing that (1) its Not That Bad because it could be so much worse and (2) I'm A Hard Working Hero and I Deserve Slack. This ended up very rambling but i hope that makes sense

i think the most interesting thing about season one is that rust and marty are both not good people, as you mentioned rust views himself as a bad man but a correct bad man. he breaks laws and abuses his police power and uses violence to get what he wants but he does all of it because he knows/believes that it's the only way to get the badder man, the man abusing and killing women and children. his bad actions are correct and validated in his head because he has to catch his bad guy. obvi being undercover in narco for as long as he was changed him and how he views the law, like how he tells the woman he buys drugs from that "of course im dangerous, im police. i can do bad things with impunity". i can sympathize with rust far more than marty because you can see more/understand more why rust became who he is.

marty is a cheating controlling asshole who treats women like property and wants to impose his view of womanhood onto them. he gets mad when rust mows his lawn and talks to his wife when marty isn't home because marty is a cheater and most cheating men assume all other men are cheaters. but he feels it is warranted how he treats women, he tries every excuse in the book to write off his behavior to his wife but at his core he does what he wants and doesn't care much how it hurts others. he only cares because it affects him, he blames his mistress for ruining his family as if he didn't ruin it by sleeping with him.

rust is defined as a type of outlaw detective who does whatever he wants, regardless of using violence and police red tape, because he has convinced himself that he is right about his theory. he will put himself and marty in countless dangerous situations, attack and kill people (especially in the drug plot in the middle of the season) because he has convinced himself all of this has to happen. granted, at the end of the show rust Was right about everything so his actions seemed warranted but even he states that he was aware he might have been insane in his actions. he is so far gone into his desire for justice and to catch His killer nothing else matters, after he caught his killer the only thing he mentions about the case is how he didn't realize who it was when he first met him.

marty is interesting to me because he a womanizing cheating asshole who will hit his daughter without hesitation and cheat on his wife whenever he wants but will blow a suspect's head off because he was abusing children and finally quits because of a violent death of an infant. he claims being a family man is so important and wants rust to get a woman but breaks apart his own family because of what he wants.

anyways. i love when the main characters are bad people, far more interesting that way.

[shutupineedtothink]

I finally landed on a Siuan theory/analysis re: 2x07! And it works prettyyyy good if I do say so myself. At the least it’s plausible. Probably. No book spoilers because I haven’t read the books, this is a show only theory. Read on at your own risk!

Background: So, at first I was on board the “Moiraine and Siuan planned this whole thing daes dae’mar blah blah blah” train. Mostly in my emotional turmoil after watching the episode initially. But, I was forced to dismiss that pretty quickly in light of some of Siuan’s lines, namely “That boy must not leave this city.” And “You lied to me.” She has to believe both of those things are truths to say them, so her somehow being secretly on Moiraine’s side still and them having conjured up some plan together doesn’t match up with either of those lines. Sadly. So that’s pretty much out. If this ends up actually being the case, I look forward to how they explain themselves out of it.

Second theory is of course that it’s playing exactly as we’re seeing it, which ultimately does work and when I can take the emotional dagger to my heart out of it, is objectively really excellent storytelling and character work. These are two women, trying to do the right thing, trying to save the world, and their love is sacrificed at the altar of duty. Duty over love is a theme that’s absolutely pounded into us with many characters, so it makes sense. (As Lan points out to Rand also in this episode, “you were born to protect this whole world, not just the people you love.” That’s kinda where Siuan and Moiraine are at too.) Plus I love the idea that Siuan comes face to face with the very real if unfathomable possibility that Moiraine has been turned to the dark based on her actions and general cageyness for the last six months, and that’s really what motivates every choice Siuan makes, up to and including invoking the oath rod. Really great stuff, brilliant subtext, two thumbs up.

However. There is a third option. *rubs hands together gleefully*

I heard some people saying Siuan could be under Compulsion, which definitely piqued my interest, because we’ve had those breadcrumbs dropped earlier in the season already and it would be nice foreshadowing for this. But most of the conversation I’ve seen seems to be around Liandrin being the one to do it. Probably because we’ve alluded to that already this season, so we know she is capable and has done it before. A tool in her dark friend toolkit, if you will.

But Liandrin being behind it never sat quite right with me either. Compelling Sheriam to change some logbook is one thing, but controlling the Amyrlin seat, for hours if not days to make this happen, is quite another. Idk what kind of strength Compulsion requires, but I bet it’s not nothing. And as powerful as Liandrin is, I don’t think she’s stronger than Siuan Sanche, or would be able to pull one over on her fast enough to make this happen. Plus, Liandrin is off doing other shit in this episode. If she was really implicated I feel like she’d be at least lurking around the other Aes Sedai. Maybe I’m wrong… but I don’t think I am lol.

So, who does have the power to do this? Who else has the means, motive, and opportunity to make this happen? There’s really only one other person.

The other scene stealer of 2x07, ya girl Lanfear.

There’s several bits of dialogue in this episode that back this theory up, both Compulsion in general and Lanfear being behind it, so let’s run from the top.

First, some general evidence that Compulsion might be happening.

Rand and Siuan meet, Rand gives his cute little introduction, Lan has prepared you I see, what else has he told you about me? Then Rand gives this line:

“That you’re not exactly what you seem.”

Interesting choice of words, writers— I mean Rand. He could have said a lot of things there, even directly repeating some of what Lan told him about Siuan, but no. And if you’re already thinking Compulsion, that’s a pretty strong nudge from the writers to PAY ATTENTION to Siuan Sanche, because maybe what she’s doing is not what it seems, even the person she IS in that moment is not what it seems. (Even if the surface level read totally makes sense and still works thematically!) This also wouldn’t be the first time that the writers seem to use the characters to say something/poke fun that’s more directed at us than the actual plot. So I definitely wouldn’t put it past ‘em.

Second, and this is kind of a throw away, but when Moiraine and Lan come in later, Lan says “this isn’t what we agreed to.” This is pretty easy to explain away, but I think it’s still notable that Lan and Siuan had some kind of conversation earlier, perhaps on their way to Cairhien, about what they were going to do in regards to Moiraine and/or Rand. And at that point Siuan at least implied that she was going to help Moiraine and Rand, not cage him. Again, pretty easy to sidestep with aes sedai truth-lies/evasions, but it’s also possible at that point she actually had no intention to cage Rand. Because she wasn’t under Compulsion yet.

Alright, still going in chronological order here, so now we’re getting into some Lanfear-did-it specifics. And I do love-hate this one.

Moiraine and Siuan are arguing over what to do about Rand, then this:

Siuan: “Can you imagine, Moiraine, if one of the forsaken got their hands on him?”

Can YOU imagine, how absolutely giddy it would make Lanfear to make her say this, to Moiraine’s FACE, knowing full well she’s got her hands all over Rand and then some? Come on, son.

Ok jokes aside, here’s the kicker.

Rand and Moiraine in the cell in the sun palace, Rand meets Lanfear in the dream world, Rand goes up to her and says “I’m in a cell, the Amyrlin’s holding me.”

And Lanfear says, so smug, “I know.”

Um, girl? You know?? HOW do you know exactly? I definitely dismissed this on the first couple watches as oh, Lanfear just knows things, but like, no. The Forsaken aren’t omniscient. Now, could she be teleporting herself here and there and spying on everything that’s going on and that’s why she knows? Sure. But that’s boring and I’m on a roll here so let’s keep going.

She knows, not just that Rand is in a cell but specifically that it’s the Amyrlin that’s holding him there, because she herself Compelled (Compulsed?) Siuan to do so.

Ok so motive. Why would Lanfear do this, why spend the effort?

1. It's definitely fun for her. 2. She sets up this scenario where she gets to “save” Rand from the big bad aes sedai, he has no choice but to ask her for help, she LITERALLY shows up in her white knight in shining armor outfit, and she ultimately hopes this helps convince him she actually cares about him and wins him over to her side. (As she tries to tell him in the finale, I’m the only one who cares about YOU, not just what you can do. Mhm sure girl.) And 3. She gets to actively pit the rest of the aes sedai against Moiraine, who she absolutely hates.

And in doing all of this SHE MIGHT NOT EVEN HAVE KNOWN about Moiraine and Siuan! That's just icing on the fucking cake! It works either way, because if she did know by forcing Siuan to tell her about their mission and she somehow gets Siuan to admit she loves Moiraine (however that interrogation goes, idk the specifics of compulsion but the show writers are playing fast and loose with the rules anyway), well now it’s game on baby because Lanfear will absolutely be using that info to wreck both of them. If she didn’t know, and her whole motivation is the first three reasons above, then she definitely finds out at the end of 2x07, because she was definitely lurking around the corner listening to that whole exchange between them and it made her fucking night.

And finally, there’s Lanfear’s last line of the episode (I think): “Lucky for you, a broken Amyrlin is more useful to me than a dead one.” Double meaning alert! Siuan is literally lying broken on the ground in that moment, but maybe she was already “broken” well before that, being under Lanfear’s control. (And there’s your Egwene/damane parallel too, damn.) And therefore Lanfear knows exactly how she’ll be “useful” to her.

This whole strategy by Lanfear could also be forecasted from a couple episodes back, when she asks Ishamael why he didn’t just kill Moiraine at the Eye. He basically tells her the same thing, that Moiraine (I believe he uses the words “aes sedai” specifically) is more useful to him alive than dead. So mayyyybe that gave her this idea to manipulate an aes sedai for her purposes, except while Ishamael is playing the long game, she goes full tilt and mind controls the fucking amyrlin seat.

On Siuan’s side of things, every bit of dialogue she has/action she takes makes sense under the assumption that Lanfear is influencing her, because she would “believe” everything she’s doing. Now I don’t know exactly how Compulsion works (in case you couldn’t tell), if it’s like someone else actually making you believe/do things you wouldn’t normally do, or if it’s more of a you’re trapped in your own head and not in control of your body sort of situation, but it works either way. And boy let me tell you, if this theory is correct, that makes Sophie Okenedo’s performance even more impressive than it already is, because it really works either way: Siuan is genuinely doing what she believes is right for the fate of the world and has her stone cold face on to do it (until the very end) OR her “real” expressions/feelings are mostly being masked/faked by the Compulsion and what she’s being forced to do by Lanfear. It tracks! Either way! Insane!!

The other big reason I think this theory works is because of what we find out in the finale — we learn from her conversations with Bayle Domon and Ishamael that Lanfear has been pulling the strings to make this whole season happen all along. (Cue It Was Lanfear All Along music lol). She sold the bits of cuendillar (although I don’t really get why… just for the money?), she seduced Rand, she played Ishamael, all of it. So why not this too? Why not control the Amyrlin seat, if she has the capability and means to do so, especially if she means to take Ishamael off the board and sort of become the de facto leader/strongest of the forsaken. Not really their leader, I know, but it’s a good power play for her is what I’m saying.

Finally, I think this could put us in a REALLY fun place for season 3, with stuff happening at the tower. We could have scenes with Lanfear, Siuan, and Liandrin. We could have Siuan acting increasingly more malevolent or just off somehow, and while most sisters are going with it, Alanna or Leane maybe starts to get suspicious (more Leane please!). We could have Moiraine send the wonder girls back to the tower, ostensibly to continue their training but also because she needs informants to know what Siuan is planning now (which kills her obvs), and because I would love to see them Scooby doo their way through some shit, the three of them figure out what’s going on and somehow (with Alanna’s help?) free Siuan from the Compulsion. Idk but it could be so much fun you guys.

Or, I could be totally wrong. Maybe this is totally not how Compulsion works. I don’t mind either way. This was a super fun thought experiment. But man, if this theory is in any way correct, this will be some of the most twisty TV/dialogue writing I’ve seen in a minute. And, you know, I’m trying to make fishwives happen here! Cmon!

Shout out to the Post Show Recaps podcast deep dive of 2x07 for questioning how Lanfear knew that Siuan had Rand captured and finally clicking this all into place for me. If you’ve got any other pulls from the episode or the season in general that back this theory up, please share in the comments!

[anakinsafterlife]

Thoughts on Wheel of Time Season 2, Episode 6

I had to respond immediately to this episode because it was explosive. The writing explored multiple themes, but most compellingly it addressed the psychology of power. Egwene, in being captured by the Seanchan, is placed in a situation where she is treated as a creature rather than a human being, a damane, and that is a creature which is expected to behave strictly in ways which are helpful to her trainer. This is a foreign and repugnant idea to Egwene, and she reacts by rejecting it and refusing to speak to her trainer or cooperate.

Her trainer, on the other hand, grew up in a culture which normalized the leashing of women who can channel. Those who are leashed and well trained are celebrated as assets of the Seanchan empire. Therefore, the trainer expects that her new damane will cooperate with her, after perhaps some resistance. Initially she approaches Egwene with a friendly demeanour, and suggests that they might be friends. She even allows Egwene to keep her name. She does not anticipate the strength of Egwene's anger and disgust and, when she finally perceives it through the failed training, she is personally offended and begins to treat Egwene violently, beating and nearly killing her, until Egwene finally submits.

The parallel between this scenario and that of a man who courts a woman who is isn't interested him is clear, and I believed that it was deliberate. This character arc was crafted to display Egwene's will. Loial comments that there is steel under that sweetness. We know that later in the books, at least, Egwene lays claim to power that would have been unimaginable to her before the beginning of this adventure. In order for this to happen, she must grow and change, and discover that steel. Many people would break entirely after the damane training, just as many women break entirely after being subject to the abuses of men, but the implication at the end of the episode is that Egwene is not broken, only nursing her ire and biding her time. Not only that, but the Wheel of Time universe is in many ways predicated upon the conflict of the sexes, and gender politics are so prevalent that even one female-presenting person can act the part of the man in relation to another, just as when Egwene remarks that "No woman who is leashed can have power." Her trainer, a woman, but one whose presentation is rather masculine and who takes the role of an abusive lover in their interactions, retorts, "But you are not a woman. You are damane."

What's most fascinating of all here is that the trainer, if asked, would surely say that she is not evil. She is doing her duty as her culture and upbringing instructed her by training the damane. Her anger at Egwene's lack of cooperation would be seen as natural, expected, not amoral. Yet the physical attack upon the uncooperative chattel is the same as might be expected from a man who is defied by his wife. That same man would go out later that day, perhaps complain to his friends about his uncooperative woman and say that he loves her and wouldn't have to beat her if she just knew her place. In this way so many people rationalize their most harmful actions.

And that's what I mean about the psychology of power. Our place in society determines the nature and gradient of our personal power. Those with more power than we have are offended by any lack of cooperation and understanding in those inferior to them, just as those superior to them would likewise be offended by disobedience. The reaction is instinctive and deeply emotional, because defying one's owner as a slave, or one's husband as a wife, is not only the defiance of one person against another, but defiance of an entire institution that the majority of society has silently agreed upon and upheld. Rightness or wrongness has no bearing on that for most people, even if they may feel the pangs of conscience (and of course, dehumanizing slaves, which is what damane are, eliminates much of this guilt in the leash-holder).

The writing in this episode was masterful because it explored these concepts in scenes that were both nuanced and powerful, but also almost entirely devoid of dialogue! For that reason, I have to say that Egwene's arc was the most skilfully rendered section of this episode, although the other parts were also excellent and likewise explored the ways in which people rationalize their transgressions. I've focused on Egwene, however, because I noted a real difference between her character in the books and her character in the show. Robert Jordan created a character with a great deal of potential, but his Egwene was often more petulant than she was commanding. I went from liking her in The Eye of the World to genuinely resenting her presence in later books. But the show writers and Egwene's wonderful actress make her wilful nature powerful rather than childish, and she has a growing charisma that book Egwene lacked.

[gascon-en-exil]

Anon says as if FEH isn't using the few Male OCS to sell muscle. Bruno literaly became a meme and then there is the deer men of book VIII

Those are not remotely equivalent. Bruno hasn't been consistently relevant for years, and despite having been in the game since 2017 has all of two alts - neither of which are particularly sexy. The new deer guy is currently just background art; the internet only started thirsting after him so hard because we've been so starved of male OCs, especially after Book VII.

Further, the attempt to deflect from how female characters are objectified in FEH and similar properties by pointing out overly muscled male designs has always been a deeply flawed one. One exists for straight male titillation; the other exists as a straight male power fantasy. There is absolutely a point to be made about how hypermuscular bodies in media promote unhealthy ideas about what men should look like, but that's an entirely separate conversation from the one that frames characters as sex objects. Gay/bi men are best in a position to appreciate the issue from both sides, and the solution we most often pose when discussing such things is to show a wider variety of male bodies in states of (potentially eroticized) undress - a solution that I imagine would not go over well with the sorts of straight men who like to bring up muscular male characters as a gotcha.

The shirtless muscular guys of most media are never framed or positioned in the same way that even more modestly-dressed female characters often are when they're being marketed based on some kind of sex appeal. Gay porn games are the only type of animated media I've seen that treats male characters at all in the same way as female characters are handled on most of FEH's seasonal banners. As an example, let me revisit a point I made about a week ago, in reference to the new winter banner.

Here is Claude, wearing a reindeer-themed holiday outfit.

Now here is another character wearing a reindeer-themed holiday outfit, this time from the gay dating sim Camp Buddy: Scoutmaster Season.

A bit excessive? Yes, but I've got a point to make here. Let's talk about the differences. We've got

a crotch bulge, as well as a small treasure trail. Contrast summer Lorenz and his speedo with Ken doll anatomy.

extensive muscle definition, including pronounced tits pecs. Contrast summer Ephraim, summer Dimitri, and others.

visible nipples, something the internet also went crazy over when they randomly appeared on Fargus back in November. This isn't merely about being anatomically correct; nipples are an erogenous zone for some men, and to include them in a bare-chested design indicates that this character is not just a slab of muscle (as the power fantasy angle would prefer) but has potential erotic vulnerabilities.

a harness that greatly resembles bondage gear, and is in fact used in that way later on.

most obviously, about as much skin on display as the average female unit on summer banners

and while not apparent here, a willingness to commit to the inherent silliness of the bit in the subsequent sex scenes, which employ a flurry of intentionally bad holiday-themed puns and have the characters act out a reindeer-flavored variety of pony play.

But that's far too horny for a winter banner, you say? Don't tell that to Edelgard's thigh-highs and upskirt. Isn't that specific combination a fetish in its own right?

Or Yunaka with her cleavage and camel toe and strategically-placed bits of bare skin.

Or just look at the Byleths side-by-side. Only the female version is baring her shoulders and midriff in a form-fitting top...surely that's for entirely innocent reasons.

And again, check out any given summer banner and see just how far FEH will push its rating with its female cast.

Of course this is all from a gay male perspective; I can't speak to what women find attractive in animated male characters. Anecdotally the most popular options are characters who are already prominent and popular (so...not Bruno or the unnamed deer guy). Also, there are times when women in the fandom pick up on stuff about these guys' bodies that I wouldn't have even thought to eroticize at first, like Dimitri's proportionally small waist. Others can feel free to add onto this if they like.

TL;DR, if FEH truly wants to sell itself on sleaze (which of course it does, and already is), it seriously needs to step up its game with its male cast.

[klipserz]

I SWEAR TO GOD CAN THE WRITERS DO THEIR THING

Can this tiny scene parallel "HE ISN'T THAT WAY HE'S BETTER THAN THAT" from Annabeth in ep5 as a way of showing how they say things about each other that they won't hear from each other yet. It's gonna be beautiful.

I'll write it in stone as well, regardless if I'm gonna be right about it or not. I want some of the scene in Circe's island be in Annabeth's perspective especially when she gets her makeover. We start from Percy getting stuck with Circe as he drinks the milkshake, turns into a guinea pig then cut to Annabeth and the nymphs (wrath of the triple goddess, I know it's happening. They're doing it on purpose) dressing her up etc. Then she leaves to look for Percy and Circe. I know they'll change certain aspects, but I want the "misandry" going on in that book. I hope they'll dial up the situations up to 11. Because while it is funny that Percy turns to a fuzzy little creature, I need the viewers to also feel how powerless he is, plus with the disdain of the women in that island really hating men especially after Odysseus. Like all the nuance in those scenes will be added plus Annabeth being offered power and immortality the first time. I want to see her feel so tempted by that offer. I want that talk with Circe with her be so compelling. We have to constantly prod Annabeth emotionally in this season lol. There's too much tea about her. Her vulnerability caves when she interacts with Tyson, her meeting Luke again, Luke pinpointing that she associates with Tyson, Circe telling her how it sucks for her and how easily she can fix things by accepting her offer. And how having a bit of power could kind of validate her. (I mean she doesn't need it. But as a 13 year old I feel like as much as she asserts strength and skills and knowledge and experience, people like to not credit her because of her age.) We'd have to keep coming back to this too because there are certain people (Luke) that doesn't trust or values her despite that she's acknowledged and respected at camp. As for Percy, he's gonna deal with the insecurity of not being in the spotlight again. But of course he's gonna go through another journey into really getting the hang of it, being the son of Poseidon, not from level zero but to keep building it up again. Im so curious what other themes they can draw from the books or they can create.

[fortleegospel]

Gospel News

Dear friends and members of Fort Lee Gospel Church,

As many of you know, our focus for the coming months will be on the topic of prayer. We focus on prayer themes throughout our Sunday services, we will distribute ‘Weekly Prayer Guides,’ we will provide prayer themed wrist bands, and I will be preaching sermons on prayer.

My preaching focus will be on well-known passages on prayer in the New Testament. I started with two sermons on the Lord’s Prayer and this coming Sunday will look at Jesus’ prayer for His disciples in John 17. I have quickly learned that there are many great Scriptures on prayer that I will not have time to get to before Christmas. Here is one example:

Romans 12:12 says, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” This passage reminds of three things to focus on in building a great life.

First, “Be joyful in hope.” For the Christian, hope is built on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Because Jesus rose from the dead, we have hope that when we die, we will go to heaven. Hope before the grave includes knowing God’s care in this life, Jesus as our ‘Good Shepherd,’ and the presence of the Holy Spirit with us in all of life, good and bad. Hope includes believing that God will bring good out of every situation we face in life. (See Romans 8:28)

Second, be “patient in affliction.” Every one of us faces adversity. A life well lived is a life that learns to overcome in hard times. A recent reminder was last week’s remembrance of 9/11/2001. Reflecting on that time was an exercise in remembering an extremely painful time in the life of our nation. There were also the heroic responses, national unity, and spiritual growth that came from that time. We are called to be ‘patient’ in those hard times of our life. Stay the course. Press into God. Keep doing the next right thing. Usually, we experience God’s presence in those hardest seasons of our lives.

Third, be “faithful in prayer.” The concept is that we build a regular habit and daily time in the presence of God as a means of becoming spiritually strong. Most Christians turn to God in hard times. Being ‘faithful in prayer’ is building a lifestyle of prayer that will keep you strong when we face challenging times. Consider the comparison between spiritual and physical health. Faithful prayer is like the person who eats healthy and exercises regularly. Prayerlessness is like the person who eats poorly and hates exercise. In both cases, the healthy person is likely to have fewer problems and better outcomes when sickness comes.

May we all live out Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” It is my hope and prayer that each of us in Fort Lee Gospel Church will grow in our prayer life in the coming weeks. God bless!

-Pastor Rick

Weekly Announcements

Sunday worship services at 11:00 AM is mostly off-line, with only the sermon posted on our website, Facebook page, and YouTube.  

The Tuesday Men’s Lunch and study meets at the church at 12:30 PM.

The Tuesday Bible Study meets at 7:00 PM weekly. We are studying the book of Romans.

The 6:00 AM Prayer Meeting on Wednesdays and Saturdays is at the church with an option to connect on Google Meet.  

The Women’s Bible Study meets this Saturday, September 21st at 2:00 PM. The study continues from the book of Ephesians.

The next Church Dinner will be this Sunday, September 22nd after the worship service.

On Saturday, September 28th, Jesus for Muslims Network will hold its annual banquet. See Pastor Rick for details.

Connect info for Tuesday Bible Studies and Morning Prayer is:

Meeting URL :

https://meet.google.com/suk-xpsf-nwh

For dial in: Phone: +1 567-351-1104 PIN: 469 349 929#

[regarding-stories]

Shows I've recently watched (and it's all anime...)

I guess I'm getting some use out of that Crunchroll subscription... though this phase started on Netflix. Shows with links I wrote more about elsewhere. Presented in no particular order.

Uncle From Another World: I love this show. Quirky characters, subverted expectations, lots of laughs. 17 year old obsessed with video games lives in a fantasy world while in a coma, wakes up 17 years later. The show plays the issues of all characters in a satisfying way. If the manga is anything to go by, will get more serious and heartfelt.

Re: Zero - Starting Life in Another World: Extremely good show, highly recommended. Plenty of gore, you're warned. But resolutions in this show are ever so rewarding. Great Isekai world building - with a time loop twist.

Handyman Saito: Funny in a cute way, rather inconsistent. Rather gimmicky and tends to make too many crude jokes.

Romantic Killer: Oh, that one really got me. This show made me laugh so hard! It has a unique style that it plays very well. Girl resists being forced into romance-sim plot. Lots of character development all around. When you're not laughing it gives you the feels. Definitely deserves another season.

The Quintessential Quintuplets: I liked it so much, I watched the two seasons twice in a row. Seeing the movie conclusion in the cinema soon. Funny that I pick it up right before the release of that movie. Great characters, tears, laughs, heartbreak. Whatever the conclusion will be, I will be sad. And probably mad.

Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash: It's a good Isekai story with a slower pace. The anime will not continue, though, and the books are an annoying disappointment. Who on Earth can stand Ranta?

In/Spectre: An unexpected show. Lots of talking - in fact, weaving of narratives, alibis, and coverups is the main theme of the show. If you like smartasses, you won't be able to resist the main character - a goddess of wisdom with a mouth and some issues. All stories feel like they have depth and logic to them, plus you get to meet some of Japan's outlandish spirits and monsters. If you make it through the Steel Lady Nanase arc that takes up so much space. Can be gory.

Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation: An extremely good fantasy story, but the show's depiction of an adult reborn as a child in another world can be sometimes very cringy to watch. Why? Because as adult he lived as shut-in (hikikomori) without human relations and developed some kinks he obsesses with. If you can see past that, you will find an actually extremely decent protagonist who grows a lot during the show - and away from that. Mostly. We also learn what traumatized him. His depiction is very honest in many ways, so the uncomfortable and weird is there for a reason. For the same reason, the humor can really hit home. Very detailed world that feels alive. Sudden dramatic reversals. I will write an article about the character arc of Eris (female love interest) soon because I think it is amazing, especially in the way it concludes. Started reading the books to continue, and it's definitely readable material.

SPY x FAMILY: This show is extremely funny, but it's also heart-warming. Telepathic child, woman with side job as assassin, and undercover spy form a fake family of convenience - and neither of the adults knows about the hidden side of the other, nor of the power of the child. And the family of course grows to be more liek the real thing. This show requires some suspension of disbelief, but it is just extremely enjoyable.

BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense: A light-hearted show which can be fun. The humor worked quite well for 2-3 episodes, pretty harmless, then I started losing interest for lack of stakes. Still, might revisit it.

Cautious Hero: In many ways a good show and parody of the Isekai genre. Unfortunately full of boob jokes and really has a problem with depicting women. At least the behavior of the protagonist gets an explanation in the end - it recontextualizes a few things. That doesn't vindicate the rest, but it was... watchable. I definitely wanted to see it to end.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: It's fun, but somehow I lost interest within 2-3 episodes. It seemed predictable at that point, but maybe that would change...?

The Way of the House Husband: Well, I continued it. (I think they uploaded new episodes.) The show is fun and funny. Former Yakuza member turns into house husband, displays same intensity when it comes to chores. At times surreal, the art style is very interesting.

I wish another season of Dorohedoro were to be announced. Netflix will never become a mainstay for anime (most of the aforementioned stuff was on Crunchyroll) if it remains so inconsistent in releasing new seasons.

[talenlee]

Smooch Month 2023 — Blending The Blandness

New Post has been published on PRESS.exe: Smooch Month 2023 — Blending The Blandness

Here we are, in 2023 and our first! theme month! It’s February, the month of Valentines Day and my dead grandmother’s birthday, and since people are going to be selling chocolates at a discount at some point and TV will be screening romantic media, it’s of course, the best of times to focus on that, in our theme of Smooch Month!

And of course, when it’s Smooch Month, we get to see two particular types of article, which I’m going to try to get out of the way ahead of time: One, ‘here’s what I mean by Smooch Media,’ and two, ‘wow, it’s super hard to write Pile articles this month.’

When I talk about Smooch Month media, what I mean is media that is focused primarily on characters having a romantic relationship that develops in the story and where the indulgence of that relationship is the main reason to engage with the story. It’s about being able to watch something and enjoy the way the characters are enjoying one another. It’s not just ‘romantic’ mind you – after all, you wouldn’t call Beauty and The Beast a ‘romantic’ movie in the same type as say This Means War (though they’re both bad and treat women as objects, ho ho), but you’re definitely meant to enjoy the relief and satisfaction of The Right Person Getting To Hold The Right Hand.

Ostensibly the point of Smooch Month was to try and get me to look at media outside of my normal interests. After all, if I don’t look at smoochy media, then in a month of smoochy media, I’m going to see, what, at most, four pieces of Smooch media? Four movies, four books, four TV shows, four whatevers — if I have a whole year to work on them, surely I can find the best in that context, right?

Yeah, well, turns out ‘the best’ is really bad!

I think it’s partly form function. Smoochy stuff in media either is built around a long term, will-they-won’t-they kind of tension as you saw in the romantic sitcom like How I Met Your Mother or Friends that builds joke after joke on the same question of how boring people manage being in love. There’s movies, which want to make ninety minutes or so of telling you a story where you meet a character and get along with them, and then get to see them fail to get together then suddenly oh ho, check it out, they got together.

Books, there’s a lot of stuff in romantic literature, but also I do enough reading that I need to be engaged with the writing itself. I guess there’s smut books as well, but you’re probably not going to see me telling you anything about that kind of storytelling, thanks.

I think, basically, for the subject to be just characters hanging out and having a relationship, I need to find them interesting, then I need for that interestingness to play out over a meaningful length of time while they do something. Basically, I think, for me, the ideal shape of a smoochy piece of media is probably a single-season anime, about 13 episodes long.

Of course! Anime is one of the few mediums I enjoy that has a specific romantic form that I tend to enjoy. And yes, I’m going to absolutely lean on that for this month, but also, you might notice a trend in that space of the romantic media being a lot more inclined towards queer romance. I think about this a lot when I do Smooch Month media versus Pride Month media – because almost everything that matters in Pride Month can also matter in Smooch Month, but there’s a lot of hetero Smooch Month that doesn’t work in Pride Month.

I mean unless there’s a bold Ace Rights straight movie going on out there but I somehow doubt it.

Also, in anime, the boys get to be hotter.

A thing I learned in 2022 that stands out to me is that while there’s a really tedious trend towards ‘almost’ romantic queer anime, there’s a lot of actually queer manga, just being published out there, in long forms and short, mixing together so many genres, and it’s just… there. It’s a library of the form, and the fact that anime tends to be produced by people who don’t want to make the explicit, clear outlining of ‘this is a romantic relationship and yes the people involved are the same genders or are transgender’ is a byproduct of the scale of business.

It’s not like I’ve been exclusively looking at queer romances or anything. It is the case though that my attempts to watch more things from more sources I’m mostly watching a lot of stuff that’s kind of boring. I mean, I watched To All The Boys I Loved Before and I couldn’t help but focus helplessly on how alien it was to me. I grew up in a weird little cult environment, sure, but even setting that aside, growing up, I saw all sorts of high school dramas from the Pies America genre, I knew what high schools are ‘meant’ to be like, what high school relationship dramas are ‘supposed’ to be like (and oh hey, look at that, I already wrote about Ten Things I Hate About You, which was contemporary to me and also keyed to my tastes), but things made twenty years later, like, those aren’t going to be meaningful to me and they shouldn’t be!

I do like looking at Hallmark media, because they are so bad and often feature an incredible nothing in the middle of the movie that’s easy to mock and ridicule. But I need to break up those movies to make sure I’m not just going ‘now here’s a load of crap, isn’t this crap?’ because oh my god who cares! They need to be entertainingly bad, right?

I think a few years of Smooch Month has had this as its great, defining truth: I don’t like much smooch media. Romantic comedies tend to be tiresome, hetero romance as presented is built out of things that are typically boring, and the visual genre of two characters who I, ostensibly, should want to kiss or at least see kissing, is overwhelmingly prone towards presenting dudes who are aggressively mid. Any time these things try to get my attention they have to do it with elements of farce or action. I like a few romantic comedies that are also spy stories or crime stories or … well, yeah, the kinds of stories I already like!

And thus, my aim this month? We’re going to talk about some Not Boring Stuff that cares about characters who do a smooch on one another.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[adavaite]

“You deliver me from my cellar. How good you are to me!” she said to me. But are you under any obligations to me for that? If in so doing I labored for my own happines, I delivered myself. And do you believe that I would do it if I did not prefer to? Yes, I have delivered myself; I wish to live, I wish to love, do you understand? It is in my own interest that I always act.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Moment's Surprise--Chapter 14

Whether it’s called an accident or the fates of the universe, you and Calum find yourselves taking on the next level of your relationship: parenthood.

Reader (Gender Neutral) X Calum. Multi-chapter Series.

Series Note: Across this series, pregnancy is discussed thoroughly. While I have made this series specifically a reader insert and have done my best to avoid coding for cis women, I am taking this moment to acknowledge that this content may not be suitable for every reader. I want to acknowledge even if I’ve been careful some things (like uteri) are still mentioned and if that causes you discomfort please DO NOT read this. You may keep scrolling (as there is a read more) / skip this series as necessary.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7| Chapter 8 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Epilogue

Joy returns to the living room, refilled glasses in her hand. In the months that she’s stayed with you, the two of you have obtained a ritual. While the weekdays can feel like a whirlwind, you two still try to build a space in the evenings that are a bit slower. And over the last five months, you and Joy make an evening ritual of watching at least one episode of a show together. A Korean romantic drama currently holds your two attention and while sometimes the antics felt overdramatic, the laughs were more than welcomed. The weekends, when they are not filled with errands, are dedicated to either a maximum of three episodes or a couple movies. It’s nice to have a space for just the two of you to bond. 

This weekend is no exception. You and Joy have agreed to finish out the season as there are only two episodes left. Between the first and second episode, there is a small snack break. And you need it. The last week or so a background feeling of being uncomfortable had settled. Though you had managed to continue on with your daily life and tasks, today just seems to be the day that the feeling cannot be ignored. The break had given you a chance to get up, as a struggle that it was, and walk around. But now that you were settling back in for the last episode of the show, you had a feeling that the sort of discomfort should be something that you vocalized more. 

Your due date was still two weeks out. And even though you’d told Calum it was just an estimate, you still used it as a sort of benchmark. Two weeks wasn’t terribly early, but you didn’t want to believe anything would happen just yet. There was still time. “You’re sure you’re okay?” Joy asks, watching you readjust yet again in your spot on the couch. 

You nod. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

She holds her gaze on you for a moment longer. Your brows seem to be wrinkled just ever so slightly at the middle of your forehead and they’ve been that way for the last couple hours as well. She didn’t want to suspect anything was wrong, but Joy also knows that the thing can’t dismiss is her own gut. “Let me know if that changes, alright?”

“Of course,” you return, “you know that.” You hit play and the show’s introduction and theme song cues up around you. 

It’s silly. It’s ridiculous. But as much as you felt like not yourself in the last few weeks of your pregnancy, the reality of giving birth and becoming a parent frightened you. What if you fucked it all up? What if you weren’t cut out to be a parent? All the books and sessions couldn’t truly override the fear that creeps up. What if it all fell apart on you before you even had the chance to feel like you had it together in the first place?The episode doesn’t even settle into your brain as it goes. You’re too caught up in the spiral of your thoughts. And like a pinch, your stomach hints at a twinge of pain. 

“It’s okay, just breathe, dear.”

You know it’s Joy. Her touch is soft and reassuring. But your own heart races in your ears. Your blood thumps against your veins, jumping at your neck. Could it all really happen right now?

“Just breathe,” Joy softly commands. 

You take in a breath, letting it slide in through your nostrils and when you exhale you let it all slip out over your tongue and lips. It feels easy enough but the seconds continue and the pain doesn’t exactly stop. You repeat the action, inhaling and exhaling. 

“That’s it,” Joy praises. She waits for the confirmation that the contraction has passed before she moves towards the coffee table. Her fingers are steady as she dials Calum’s number. The phone rings and rings and rings in her ears. The voicemail picks up and Joy leaves a brief message, knowing that she will call back again. The next call is to your doula. This time the phone connects and Joy talks calmly. You listen in on the evenness to her voice, the accent that colors her words and it’s a small wave of peace. 

_________________

Calum’s phone rings from the right of Michael. It’s the second time it’s rang in the last five minutes. He halfway wonders if he should answer it, knowing he never has previously. But everyone knows Calum’s been on edge. Since the baby shower, getting him to settle longer than ten minutes before he’s checking his phone has been hard if he’s out without you. Michael understands it the most.  Calum just doesn’t want to miss anything, he wants to be there after having been away for so much of your pregnancy. 

Before Michael can settle his internal debate, the door to the room opens and Michael looks up to see Calum returning from the restroom. “Your phone’s rang twice since you left, mate,” Michael states, lifting the device up off the table.

 Though it is a weekend, and the guys agreed not to let the band interfere too much with personal time off, the weekend was the only time Calum left okay enough to leave you, since he knew his mum would be there with you. So the guys worked around it for the time being. In all honesty, it hadn’t mattered at all until it came to vocal sessions which were mostly done individually with the group session sprinkled in and right now. Today only needed to be a couple hours long to review the tour plans, the set, lightning and ensure that everyone was squared away for the Oceania dates starting up. 

Calum nods as he takes his phone. “Thanks.”

He sees the two missed calls and voicemail from his mother. And in that moment, Calum’s barely thinking about the meeting still left. He calls his mother back, head swiveling to see where he set down his keys. They’d been in his pockets but he took them out he remembers at one point in the day. “Mum?” Calum states once he hears the split second of the call connecting. There’s a shaky edge to his voice that even rattles his own ears. 

“Hi, love. Did you get my voicemail?”

Calum shakes his head. “No, no, I-I just called back when I saw you called twice. Is everything alright?”

Ashton gives a small whistle after noticing the panic swivel of Calum’s head. Calum snaps his head up in the direction and his keys come arching through the air at him from the gentle toss Ashton gives them. His mother’s voice floats in through the phone even and calm. “How fast can you get home?”

“I can leave now. What’s going on?”

“I don’t want your blood pressure to go through the roof,” she teases. “But thank your stars.”

“Are they in labor?” Calum asks aloud, tucking his phone between his shoulder to keep it pressed to his ear. He pats his back pocket and he’s still got his wallet where he left it. Calum’s fingertips feel like they are buzzing. The entire room snaps to Calum. They’d been listening in a polite way. Where one looks away and tries to actively tune out the conversation. But the word ‘labor’ causes everyone to tune into what Calum’s saying. 

“Yes, son, it’s still early on. So we’ve got some time. I’m finalizing the hospital bag.” The moment his mother finishes the sentence Calum’s turning on his heel back towards the door. “The doula’s on her way. Things are okay on this end.”

“I’m on my way,” he answers. 

“Drive safe, Calum. They’re going to be okay. I’ve got them. Promise.”

The buzzing crept up his arms, and his head started to swim. Panic. Calum knows the signs of the fear flooding his body. Recently the signs and the fear have plagued him more consistently than before. But the promise, the sincere weight of his mother’s words to ease the fear she knows is consuming him, puts a pause on the building fear. “Thanks, Mum. I’ll be home soon.”

“Of course. See you when you get here.”

The call ends and Calum slips the phone into his back pocket, fingers finding the keys and fob to his car as his feet cross over the threshold. The hallway suddenly feels endless, but Calum keeps putting one foot in front of the other. 

“We’re getting baby Hood or what?” The voice echoes and Calum pauses to look back. All three of the boys are spilling out of the room. Ashton paused two steps from the door and Michael and Luke crowd around him. “Is it really happening?” Ashton asks. His smile breaks out across his face bright and wide. All of them hold wide grins on their faces. 

The sight makes Calum smile too. A bit more of the fear is pushed down, his head feels less like he’s swimming. “It’s really happening,” Calum answers, his voice carries down too. 

“Oh my god!” Michael screeches. He bolts down the hall and collides into Calum’s chest. “Tell them we’ll be there once you give us the all clear,” his voice is soft as he speaks. 

Calum returns the embrace, tight, but quick. Hands pat backs and the slap is a slight echo up each of their chests. “You guys will be one of the first to know. Promise.”

The two men separate and Michael gently shoves Calum along. “Go, man, go! You have a baby to meet!”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Calum laughs in return. He takes a step down towards the exit doors. 

“You’re not going fast enough,” Michael huffs. “Run! Go!”

In a light jog, Calum carries his body down the hallway, throwing one last wave back at his friends. “Love you guys!”

“Love you too!” The trio choruses back. 

Where Calum’s drive home, longer than he would ever want thanks to traffic, is a mixture of frustration and excitement, the second Calum steps into the house he is relieved to only seem calm. You are pacing, the distinct heavy sigh of your sustained breathing cuts through the low volume of the TV. But there’s very little panic. A couple bags are nestled next to the door and Calum’s attention snaps down to the Duke closing in around his feet. Calum watches as Duke walks over to him, big eyes staring up at him and then looking over to you. 

“I know,” Calum states to Duke. “That's why I’m here, big guy. I got ‘em, okay? Promise.” Calum’s careful as he approaches you, one not wanting to startle you and two because even though everything in him wants to comfort you, he knows there are somethings he will just never be able to understand. 

“Baby, I’m here, okay? What do you need from me?” he asks gently. He’s half aware  that getting the bags into the car is probably a priority. He hasn’t spotted his mother yet, but all he really wants and cares to focus on is you. 

You complete the lap across the living room to him and rest your head on his shoulder. “They’re not too bad right now-the contractions. I just, I’m scared now too.”

He hums, dropping his head a little to rest against yours. “It’s okay to be scared. Fear in some ways means progress.”

You nod again. “Pacing helps for now.”

“Let me get the bags into the car and we can pace, okay?”

“I’ve got the bags,” his mother states. He’s not sure when she came up or where she came from. He only nods and keeps his attention on you. He doesn’t even worry something might be missing from the bags. There's a checklist for the checklists and Calum knows Joy won’t let the two of you falter at this moment, not in the slightest. Calum sways as you sway. He breathes as you breathe and having the mirror keeps you focused. Though there’s the twinge of fear that creeps up, you keep focused. 

You can put together the drive. After three more laps in the living room, Joy and Calum are able to get you into the car. The neighborhood passes, the highway opens up. You are staring at the back of the cars in front of you, focusing on the license plate numbers as Calum talks next to you. You know you’re responding because you’re laughing. You know you’re aware because you remember how Joy kissed your forehead and promised she’d be there at the birthing center soon to meet you two and her first grandbaby after she got Duke settled. You know you’re aware because even you poke fun at how Calum raced to get home but couldn’t at least snag one of the boys to get Duke like they had agreed to do, though you know the agreement really was that the boys would alternate on who would check up on Duke while the three of you were away.  

But no amount of breathing and reading off licenses and laughter really prepares you for the moment when you’re actively squatting, Calum’s arms hooked through your armpits to hold your weight and your back is up against his chest and you’re swearing you’ve never sweated so much in your entire life. Because even as the contraction does subside, though the relief won’t really be long, you know just on the other side of this is actually rearing a child. It’s actually real. And how can it all be real in the thick fog of sweat, and groans, and breathing? How could it all be real?

“I’m here, okay? I’m here,” Calum whispers into your ear. “You’re doing so well, love. You know that?”

Another contraction seizes your response, the gratitude replaced yet again with your breathing to ride through the pain. Calum’s chest expands against your back and you follow it to take the inhale. When his chest decompresses, you follow that lead to exhale. You can’t tell if he’s saying anything else at the moment, but you can feel the gentle brush of his lips against the shell of your ear. 

The squeeze releases its grip from around you. Your head falls back just a bit and Calum doesn’t fight it. He lifts his head to accommodate you and then presses a kiss to your cheek. Now around your tongue aren’t the words thank you, because when you look at Calum you can see even the worry on his one face. “So, how was your day?” you ask in a tease.

Calum laughs, shaking his head. “You don’t get to ask me that. Not right now.”

“Oh why not?” you return. Your grin is brief, mostly because you can feel part of the fatigue trying to settle too thickly on you. 

“You’re literally giving birth. I don’t think anything else matters.”

“Huh, could’ve fooled me.” You’d want to give a shrug, but you can’t, not with the lock Calum has under your arms. But you still try anyway. His smile replaces some of the worry lines. It makes your chest ease up a little at the sight. 

The water is warm and you’re grateful for the small respite as you settle down into it. Time doesn’t really matter but you think how the hours must be crawling by for everyone else. Here though time feels like a foreign concept. Who cares how many hours? Who cares how many days? Who’s counting the seconds? There is only just now. The wall of the pool is thick enough that you do find it steady to recline into, but Calum settles behind you. It’s a comfort, you know he’s close, to hear his voice soothing at the part of your brain still attuned to him. Not that you’ve tuned everything out, you’re just zeroing in. 

The drops and aches and contractions are all alerting you. You want to make sure you can hear it, the call from your body that once you start pushing there will be no stopping. You are zeroed in. You’re thankful that Calum is here and that your doula’s helping and you catch the nurses that pop in to cheer you on, but you are zeroing in. You don’t want to miss it. And you’re not sure you ever would. 

What feels like a fleeting thought becomes a screeching reality. There’s Calum in your ear, softly encouraging you. There’s water lapping around you. There are grunts of exertion and without hesitation, you reach down knowing the head’s beyond crowned. You’d think it’d be harder and it is hard work; it is taking nearly every ounce of consciousness to remember to push but not to go too hard, but there’s something natural about it too. To catch his head and as another push sends him out you gently guide his body up. 

And there is the very real thing in your arms. There are tears stinging behind your eyes and you can’t tell what’s sweat from what’s tears on your face. Not that it matters how separate the two are, because there is the very real thing in your arms. 

“Amiri, look at you,” you coo. A rush of pride fills you, and the laughter turns up into a victorious cry from your lips. Amiri is the very real thing. There’s no room for fear. You love him--instantly, deeply, and fully you love the tiny baby boy in your arms. 

“He’s so small,” Calum laughs from behind you. His hands hover like he wants to touch, but he’s too scared. And then with a rush of braveness, Calum runs his fingers gently over the top of his son’s head. “Hi, Pumpkin.”

“Welcome to the otherside,” your doula says softly. 

__________________________

You watch Calum cradle Amiri to his chest. Amiri’s tiny hands rest near the silver fern tattoo on Calum’s bare chest and from your vantage point, it’s almost like Amiri’s holding the plant. You know the truth, that Calum is utterly obsessed and you are too, but mostly tired. Calum smiles up at you. “I’m whipped. Like I knew it was a high chance before, but god, he’s perfect.”

“You say that because you’ve yet to change a diaper,” you tease. 

“Even his shits will be perfect.” A small tuft of laughter creeps up your chest. You gently run your fingers along Amiri’s back. He hardly stirs at the action, but you don’t mind it. “Thank you,” Calum whispers. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” you state. 

“I do. What you did wasn’t easy and no little task and I so appreciate it. For our little boy. I can’t--” Calum pauses hearing his own voice choke around the words. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

Pressing a kiss to Calum’s lips, you only pull back enough to glance down to Amiri again. “I know, love. I know. I’d do it again for him.”

“So a second child could definitely be on the horizon.”

You laugh besides yourself but nod. “Yes, but you’ll have to be prepared for the second round of, ‘Will you still love me if I shit myself in delivery?’” you state. 

“You didn’t this time,” Calum counters. “And you know I would.”

“Guess I’ll have to get pregnant again to see if you’re really man about your word.”

Calum’s grin is still a tad watery from his tears, but it’s just as bright as before. “Don’t give me any ideas."

Tagging: @busstop @wiiildflowerrr @wonderlandiswhereitsatyo @icelily13 @fandomfoodiedancer @markaylafruitcup @one-sweet-gubler @carma-fanficaddict @sunflowercalum @rosie-posie08

[iamjaynaemarie]

You know, if I had to tell everyone what happened to me, it would be another book all together, and right now I have my hands full with books. I am so busy now that I have just been told to give up my dreams PhD work and just concentrate on writing books.

First things first: @tkwrtrilogy3 is back. First of all there will be a crash course on what the new people that showed up missed. That begins tomorrow the writing begins October 7 as you can see by the lovely illustration above.

So much to do and so much time to do it. Considering this book is a trilogy, and it has an extra three books attached to it, I’ll probably be writing this one until I’m 70. I just turned 50 so that tells you a lot. OK, so I write fast. Maybe 65. Be grateful. Oh. It is already twice as long than the entire first season of Rings of Power (probably longer).

Next: The New King in Town @lesecretdelamaisondubourbon So, you probably missed it. Not only am I Thranduil, I am also Louis XIV currently. I will be his Daddy, too.

You don’t wanna know. Well maybe you do. Let’s just say I have extensively covered his love life and survey says: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

If you were ever on my Instagram, you would know there’s a new lady in town for His Majesty Louis XIV. and none of you know who she is because she’s new to a degree. Anyway, let’s just say they had fun (and will continue to have fun. However, if you are reading the book on Tumblr, Louis is still a baby. I had to jump ahead for theme reason on Instagram and I’m afraid if you go over there you’ll want him to grow faster. I would also like to tell everybody that his brother Philippe he has a story to tell.

 Oh, does Monsieur have a story to tell. That belongs to my co-author, @fortunatelyclevercandy. As they say, true friendship never expires. Don’t worry you’ll like it I’ve already read some of the story and it’s: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Oh, right. The Secret of the House of Bourbon is also a trilogy. I write trilogies. Why? Because I’d like to write. A lot. I also read as much as I write. And sometimes in French. HOB (as we call it) covers 196 years of the House of Bourbon. I wanted to start with Louis XIII, but my co-author loves her some Philippe, so to stay consistent, I headed over to Louis XIV. That was probably the absolute best decision I ever made in my life and I suck at making decisions. I really suck at making decisions. I try my best not to make any of them. So, like I always do, I ended up beginning a story in the middle. I am in Book III and it is all about Louis XIV. Yes, there are women. More than you can imagine but not as many as his grandfather Henri IV. There is no one earth who can have that many women except for his grandfather Henri IV. Oh, and by the way, this is not fanfiction based on anything like a television show perhaps. This is all about the history and the history is wilder than the television show. How wild? Let’s just say somebody made me go through 500 pictures of one poem before they decided OK, this doesn’t have to be a PG-13 novel. 😑 I mean it doesn’t have to be like Tolkien. We are grownups. I think we’re grown ups. Well, she might be more than I am. But we’re definitely grownups. So anyway this is a grown-up book about grown-ups just happened to start as children before they become grown-ups. In 17th-century France. Yeah. Did you know Louis was born with two teeth? 🦷

We are adults. Fun fact: My birthday is September 4. The day before Louis XIV. Ain’t that a kick in the head?

So, I guess this is it. I guess I am coming back. It’ll take a while to get used to being back after such a Trumatic experience I went through, but I’m happy to be back to doing what I love. Writing. Oh, one more thing:

Hee hee 😛 So, I guess we’re back. 😉 For me, there’s no place like the throne.

[bleulone]

Can we talk about about how Colin looked in ep 1 when he first saw Marina compared to how he looked when he saw Pen in ep 8. Almost the exact same look! Of course his look to Penelope is probably more about his guilt because he brushed her off when she tried to warn him but still..progress! Lol and then when he's getting ready to leave for Greece, he glanced towards Penelope's home. I think they're having Colin's feelings for her grow gradually in the show instead of all of a sudden like in the books.

Hey! Thank you for this insightful ask of yours :) Sorry for the late answer, I took a long time to write this— without further ado, here we go!

Indeed, Polin is first and foremost a story of gazes, those gazes being of many natures. Whether they are love ones, friendly ones, admirative ones or lustful ones, looking imposes itself to be a huge parameter in Penelope and Colin’s love story.

In order to understand that on screen, film-making has at its disposal a very rich and smart langage of its own. Sometimes, comparision helps to underlines the differences between one character’s relationship with person A mirorring person B. I feel like Shondaland and Chris Van Dussen wanted to introduce the audience to the evolution of our Bridgerton men’s perception of Love. For instance, while Anthony views attachement— to Siena— as a way to escape his responsibilities before becoming his villain (...until our queen ma’am Kate Sheffield comes to the picture), Benedict doesn’t comprehend this universal concept and prefers to enjoy the many physical pleasures life can offer. In other words, the older brothers already explored their sexuality here and there, making them the infamous rakes that they are. As for Colin, it’s a complete other thing.

Colin is young. Very young. At 21, he’s just left Eton College and barely knows anything of the world nor women. Like Anthony said in 1x06, Colin hasn’t been taken to brothels which is a very important step in the building of young men’s sentimental and sexual education during that time period. Since he missed this essential step, our sweet/immature boy has no clue about how to deal sagaciously with his feelings and his “foolish” impulses, baring his naivety. At this point of the story, we can easily come to the conclusion that Colin is a virgin who can’t drive XD. He’s just a child overcame by his passions, a hopelessly romantic who rushes things without taking the time to properly court or know his significant other. And his off-screen flirtation with those supposed numerous girls in London isn’t of any help to justify his (oh so little) experience. So when he sees Marina, he’s so struck by her... mainly by her alluring appearance. And he doesn’t seem to let his eyes nor mind go beyond her exquisite beauty.

In this perspective, the whole Colin/Marina storyline can be perceived as a parallelism to the Pen/Colin’s one. In 1x01, he is immediatley smitten with a dancing Miss Thompson, which happens to be ironically the same case with a 17 year-old Pen but with him. We got to see her, a few moments ago, dreamily looking at him from the back of the dancefloor (echoeing the episode where she fell madly in love with him after he fell off his horse at Hyde Park). She’s charmed by his dashing look and his kindness, yet she doesn’t seem to know anything else about him considering the rare conversations they share. Her burning gaze fits the original story from Julia Quinn’s books because in Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the 28 year-old spinster Penelope do realize later on that Colin is more than a good looking man : he’s a human who possesses a temper and flaws.

Either way, both of our boos are portrayed as hopelessly young people in love who childishly idealize the objects of their affection.

In 1x08, it’s the other way around. It’s Colin who sees Pen first, her who appears to wear the yellow dress’ lookalike from the pilot—what an interesting call back ^^. With his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide open, we can catch sight of the timid spark of a change in his gaze : Colin Bridgerton notices Penelope Featherington. He‘s touched by the realization that she cares about him. It would be rather inappropriate of me to say that Colin is already in love with her. However, in the finale, I do believe that he’s more struck by her high level of deep care for him than her beauty.

We are thus able to spot two big differences in Colin’s relationship with women in this season : when his attraction to Marina was purely physical and rushed, his attraction with Penelope is more emotional and slow. And for now, he comes to cherish his special bond with her, especially after she tried to warn him of the dangerous trap he was about to fall into. Even if he just sees her as his younger sister’s best friend right now, Pen matters in his life. And it’s still a little yet important progress for sure.

Speaking of which, I agree with you that this look of awe as well as realization is mostly mixed up with guilt. Since he didn’t take into account her words, he felt the strong need to apologize. But bear in mind that guilt formulates a considerable part in Colin’s feelings for Pen... and it’s only the very beginning. In the future, he’ll blame himself for not seeing her as the beautiful goddess and siren that she is in the first place. He’ll blame himself for not reciprocating the feelings for her.... Though at the moment, due to his lack of experience with women, Colin is oblivious to Pen’s obvious signs of sorrow when he told her he’s leaving for Greece/Cyprus. Next time, he’ll detect her sadness and won’t let her go, I’m sure of it (if he doesn’t I’ll riot).

Furthermore, I’m so glad you brought up the scene where Colin glances at the Featherington house. I had the same thought as well. When you put this still and the one where Pen is crying while looking at her window side by side, it even seems like they’re looking at each other. In a way, it implicitly confirms Pen’s key role in his final decision... After all, she’s the one who inadvertently inspired him right ?

The act of traveling has always been seen as cathartic since leaving home to discover yourself allows you to heal your broken heart and soul. It’s natural for Colin to do this. To make his first real steps into the world. His choice is quite relatable more than it is essential for his arc in the series. I can’t wait for him to come back all changed, hot ^^ and mature. I think, like you said, they are planning on making him progressively falling in love with her. Colin’s feelings will gradually leave the platonic zone to explore and officially stay in the intimate zone throughout the seasons.

Overall, the Colin/Marina and Colin/Penelope parallel in s1 mostly helps viewers to compare the way Colin evolves from being a stubborn naive boy to a heartbroken young man who’s aware of his crutial need for Experience. His coming of age, just like Pen’s, has just begun. And they will surely lead to our boy changing himself into the true charming rake that he’s meant to be and our girl into a more confident woman. Consequently, I think their story won’t take 10 years but rather at the very least 5 years perhaps to fit the TV timeline. Once Polin will finally be able to discuss, we’ll hopefully get to see more interesting nuances and shades added to the portrait they painted of one another over the years. They’re indispensable to the slow build up of their emotions/attraction as well as the shattering of their childish idealization/perception of each other.

All in all, I’m so loving the fact that season 1 beautifully sets up the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story. This first installment is like an expository scene of a play. It leaves a trail of clues and pieces of information here and there at the reach every viewers who can pick them up and analyze what can be the main themes which will determine one character’s story arc/romance. With Polin we have : admiration, wit, love and friendship, desillusionment. (I know they are more but it’s all I can think of rn lol).

If we’re already emotional messes just with the mere power of them looking at each other, imagine when they’ll actually talk and share real conversations. It’s going to be a long way to canon but luv me some good fluffy angsty steamy slow burn :) ✨ I hope this long of mine answers your ask ahah, even if I talked about many things other than just Polin’s looks. Also, sorry if you spot some grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

[butterflydm]

the dragon reborn (chap 19-chap 27)

1. Mat wakes up! Our first Mat PoV! I’m so sad that he lost so many memories over the course of the story so far, though, because I feel like that really did affect the way he reacted to all things re: Rand & the Dragon reborn stuff, not having those memories of Rand trying so hard to help him.

2. Because he does worry about whether or not Rand’s all right first, before he spirals into the tangent about worrying about that Rand is going to go mad and how terrifying it is that he’s the Dragon Reborn. He tells himself that he can’t think of Rand as a friend anymore and then is suddenly angry. Just. Complicated feelings even without most of his memories intact.

3. One of my best friends is a monster now! 😭 ... I sure wish he were here to give me advice about women. Oh, Mat.

4. Again, Lanfear pulls out “for the glory!”, on Mat this time. Girl has one single play in her playbook.

5. Hunger being used as a leash for Mat here is making me very uncomfortable, even if Siuan is doing this with good intentions to make sure he fully recovers from being healed. (honestly... big IF for me here. I do not remember if Siuan planned on actually letting him leave at any point)

6. I remembered Mat’s feelings about Rand being a lot more uniformly harsh than they actually are (at least so far). When he’s not actively thinking about Rand being the Dragon Reborn, he thinks about him in a relatively normal way.

7. “I’m no hero. I do what I have to do, but I’m no hero.” Oh, Mat.

8. Huh, Siuan still thinks that the Heroes would follow the Shadow, if called to fight on their side. I guess we only know better because of what Artur Hawkwing said, and Verin wasn’t there for that conversation, so Siuan doesn’t know either. Interesting!

9. And TAR is officially named! Verin is the one who tells us the name. Brown Sisters are very good for infodumps. And she gives Egwene the twisted stone ring, to help her with Dreaming.

10. Ah, time for Egwene and Elayne’s Accepted tests. I am wondering if this event will be in the next season as well. It probably depends on where exactly they are placing the timelines. If we do see it, I wonder if Egwene’s tests will all be the same as they were in the book (which is to say: Rand, Rand, and more Rand, lol. These tests would probably feel a lot less weighty without the backstory change to them being ‘all but promised’, I suppose, but it’s still, you know, a lot of Rand, though there is something symbolic in the fact that her embracing being Aes Sedai means her specifically leaving Rand behind over and over and over).

11. They do also use the scenarios as ways of giving us some solid lore knowledge as well as a handful of red herrings. It’s not JUST Rand. But I’m pretty sure we’ve now gotten more fake!Rand in this book than actual Rand, lol.

12. Which does fit the theme of the book so far -- it’s called The Dragon Reborn but it’s not about Rand; it’s about ‘the Dragon Reborn’ as a concept. So we get Perrin and Moiraine chasing him and hearing about the effects he’s having on the world. We get Mat and Egwene trying to deal with what it means for them personally that Rand is the Dragon Reborn. Every consequence that fake!Rand faces in the scenarios where Egwene leaves him behind are all due to WHAT he is, not WHO he is (dying by channeling sickness, being turned by Fades and Dreadlords; being gentled). And Rand, too, is chasing what it means to be ‘the Dragon Reborn’, to prove to himself for once and for all whether or not it’s him.

13. We don’t get any real hints here about what Elayne’s tests were about, except that leaving the way she had to made her feel like a terrible person, but it seems to do that for everyone.

14. Mat thinks Elayne is pretty, but entitled. Fair points, both, Mat. He thinks Galad is pretty, too, though he tries to make it an insult. Bi!Mat rights?

15. And there it is! ‘Time to toss the dice’ from Mat before he beats Gawyn and Galad -- one on two, staff against swords. I hope we get this scene next season. Mat also instinctively says that he’s from ‘Manetheren’.

16. Elayne showing off her clever brain, working out that the very ‘random’ness of how none of the Black Ajah women who left had anything in common means that the BA must have had TONS of choice, in order to be able to try to pick out a set of women who wouldn’t show any specific types or trends. The lack of clues is a clue itself. A scary one.

17. Lanfear is pleased by Egwene’s boldness, but does not try “for the glory!” on her. Kinda sad, I would have loved to have seen Egwene’s reaction if Lanfear had been as hilariously obvious with her as she was with the three guys.

18. The Wondergirls discover that Liandrin and her twelve have ALL left behind ‘clues’ to lead whoever might want to chase them to Tear, and correctly guess this is either a trap or a distraction.

19. I’m trying to remember why Alanna is so interested in the girls. Is it because they’re connected to Rand, who she saw at Fal Dara? Like, we all know why Verin is checking in on them, but why was Alanna so interested that she tried to get herself sent to the kitchens for punishment?

20. Elayne thinking of having ‘three or four’ Warders and then only picking one of them to be her official Prince Consort - harsh. lol Elayne almost, but not quite saying she’d like Rand as a Warder, in front of Egwene -- it’s an interesting dynamic. Because even if Jordan did alter the backstory in TGH, he did very much keep in the idea that Egwene ‘left Rand behind to pick the White Tower instead’, he just... oh, I think maybe I just finally got why he did it. Now, instead of the ‘break-up’ being entirely Egwene going ‘nah I don’t think I wanna date you actually; I want this career path instead’; it’s now a situational thing on both sides -- they can’t because she’s planning to be Aes Sedai AND because he’s the Dragon. When of course that wasn’t a consideration at all in the first book because none of the kids even knew that ‘Dragon Reborn’ was a possible option for anyone.

21. Which is interesting because it’s clear that Elayne sees absolutely no conflict going on between any of those things (not at this point anyway; she might later) -- so what if she plans on being Aes Sedai? So what if Rand is the Dragon? Those don’t change the fact that he’s handsome and she thinks of him when he isn’t there and she’ll make it work. The only thing that actually gives her pause is this notion that he and Egwene were childhood sweethearts, before things changed and they became Star-Crossed Lovers. Ooooh, I wonder if she’s trying to test out the idea that EGWENE is one of the people that she’s supposed to ‘share’ her husband with (per Min’s viewing from the last book that she probably believes more in now that she’s known Min for longer). That actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it. That she’s poking at the idea of Rand to try to feel out Egwene’s vibes on sharing (and her own as well, I would suspect).

22. For Elayne herself, I wonder if she sees no conflict because she’s always known she would have to balance conflicting needs and duties, due to growing up royal and yet also knowing she would train in the Tower. So this is an idea that she’s had her whole life to get used to and that she’s already seen an example of in watching her mother balance her personal life and her country’s political needs.

23. Both Perrin and Rand are hanging out in TAR in their dreams -- it looks like they’re just showing up there where they actually are in the real world, too. Not having a great time. Hopper is trying to guard Perrin’s sleep, at least. No one is guarding Rand’s and he lets us know that he’s being sent temptations in his sleep to try to trick him and kill him. :-(

24. “Egwene realized that Elayne looked pretty doing anything, even crying, or scrubbing pots.” Bi!Egwene rights?

25. Nynaeve is the one who thinks of using Mat as the messenger for Elayne’s letter to her mother.

[seekingthemacguffin]

Just finished Nightmare of the Wolf and really enjoyed it!

Will I be quibbling about the timeline and canon contradictions whenever I discuss the movie with someone? Absolutely. (See full rant below)

Did that detract from my enjoyment? Not at all! It helps to think of it as a separate piece of media or even an alternate world. A lot of the specific details may be wrong, but they still managed to convey the mood and the tone that made it feel like a Witcher story. 

The production as a whole was really well done -- good voice acting, good soundtrack, and I especially liked the animation. 

Kudos to whoever decided that they needed to make young Vesemir hot. I think we all approve of that decision. Is it truly a Witcher property without a bathtub scene? Netflix didn’t want to risk finding out and we’re grateful.

Vesemir is not what I expected a younger Vesemir to be like character-wise, but I still liked him and enjoyed his arc.

I absolutely loved everything about the romance with Illyana. It managed to show some of the interesting story stuff you can do in a world where some of the population lives so much longer than the rest. And I really appreciated that in a franchise where I’m often frustrated with how the female characters are written (the games and the tv show have done a good job course correcting but I get so annoyed with how women are portrayed in the books) they decided to give us a visibly older woman with no magic who is still shown as a strong character. 

It was really neat to get glimpses of Kaer Morhen in its heyday as a functioning keep with lots of witchers running around. Really drives home how alone the witchers that we know are in the main part of the timeline.

I wasn’t thrilled with the plot decision to have witchers involved in making monsters -- it contradicts literally everything we know about them and their view of the world. Plus it distracts from one of the central themes of the Witcher stories which is that oppression stems from hatred, fear, and lies and it is never justified and violence begets violence. (Not that I’m saying the attack at Kaer Morhen was justified here, but maybe don’t have some of the people being attacked doing horrific experiments in the basement that need to be stopped when you’re trying to show that the attack itself is wrong unless you’ve got more time to actually dig into it properly.)

And the movie definitely showed us some of the true tragedy of the witchers, which is the cycle of intergenerational trauma they’re all trapped in. All the stuff with the Trials was heartbreaking. 

Overall it was a really good movie that had the right balance of moral quandaries and monsters that made it feel like a proper Witcher story. It definitely put me in the mood for season 2 of the tv show. Just don’t think too hard about the timeline and canon contradictions.

(Okay, but seriously, Vesemir is supposed to be SUPER old compared to the other witchers! Witchers don’t die of old age because they all get killed, so the fact that Vesemir has managed to survive to old age is a huge part of what shapes him as a character in the main timeline. And the only survivors of the attack on Kaer Morhen were witchers who were away from the keep at the time, which is how we know that Geralt, Lambert, Eskel, etc. were already adults when it happened. They were raised completely under the old ways, which is what makes their choice to treat Ciri better so important. If you make Vesemir the one who breaks from tradition that detracts a bit from Geralt’s choices. End rant.)

[thewillowbends]

I completely agree with you regarding S&B. Alina’s character was wasted and I still have no idea why she was a main character when she ended up doing nothing important or really changing things in any meaningful way. I don’t know if you’ve already read it but I highly recommend reading Demon in the Woods. It’s the only story where we really see from Aleksander’s POV(until the trash duology)and it’s really heartbreaking what he does through as a child. If I’m not wrong the show planned to also adapt it but they didn’t for budget reasons but imagine if they had shown his traumatic childhood+creation of the Fold...

My whole thing is that I'm fine with Aleksander being a villain because how one wields is definitely important, regardless of what kind of trauma they've got going on in their history, but I am just absolutely baffled by the thematic intent of this series. It's entirely fair for Alina to be furious and upset about her enslavement, but for her to have absolutely no empathy for what drove him to where he is now or what's happened to the other Grisha and to stay that way over the course of her entire journey is just...well, it begs the question why is she the heroine? There's nothing really heroic or moral about her journey if she's going to wind up right back where she started, running away from power and responsibility. That can be a protagonist's journey, sure, but it's not a heroic one.

Saying "power makes monsters" is fine as a theme if the characters in question are people who have always wielded power in a society. It becomes a lot more complicated when you're dealing with an oppressed minority, and especially when you show repeatedly that they're still suffering state violence at both the hands of enemy countries and their own people. Having a fancy palace with nice clothes and food and military training is not a privilege that replaces your ability to move about a society safely or wield real political power, which they explicitly do not.

If she wanted to write a story warning women about falling for men with tragic backstories who have no intention of doing the work of improving what their trauma did to them, that's fine, but then you actually have to make her empathetic. The point of connection has to be her feelings of sympathy for what he's been through. Alina isn't empathetic. Her attraction to Aleksander in the book is based on power and mystery, and in the show it's based on emerging confidence and a boldness that he inspires in her. It's not wholly based on the tragedy of his heritage or a sympathetic connection nor do we see him actively playing on that much beyond the first scene where he claims to be the descendant. Moreover, after he's revealed to be the Black Heretic, he doesn't weaponize the pain and grief associated with that history, either, even though that would mirror a common abuse tactic and be an underhanded way to undermine her confidence and make her second-guess her own ethical intent. It doesn't work here because the writing is so focused on making her tough and independent, it doesn't let her be weak or make mistakes in a meaningful way that resonates with the reader.

(Want to see a villain who does this well to a woman? See Billy Russo in Season 1 of The Punisher. Also played by Ben Barnes, ironically enough!)

If she wanted to do a story about radicalization of victims of state violence, then she needed to go more ethically complicated in the narrative. Her protagonists needed to have real conversations with themselves and others about what the resolution of this problem with the Grisha is and how the current situation created a monster in the first place. There needed to be a real dialogue back and forth examining both sides of it, whether violence against the state is ever acceptable if the state persistently insists on actively attacking a minority or outright neglecting them. In this case, it's unsurprising an Israeli-American author doesn't want to ask the serious question, "Does every participant in a society hold responsibility for the atrocities of the powerful if they aren't actively fighting it?" Disappointing, but I'm not surprised, since that's a more direct moral interrogation than most people prefer for themselves.

Which leads into the other part that a story like that also requires a serious moral evolution on the part of the protagonist. They have to be changed by the villain, empathize with them, grow to have a sense of responsibility to changing what created the conditions that bred this evil in the first place. She can still have Alina struggle with the power high she gets from the amplifiers, but make it more complicated than hurr hurr lady bad for wanting power. Ask us to empathize with how Alina has felt in her past as a helpless victim of prejudice. Show us how power gave her the ability to change things she couldn't before.

In other words, it can't leave things at status quo. It acknowledges that status quo is what created the problem in the first place. The problem is that Alina's fate in the books doesn't do that. It actually reflects a moral cowardice to some extent if you want to be brutally honest about it.

(Want to see where this is done well? See Kilmonger in Black Panther. The Star Wars prequels, while less elegantly accomplished, are a good example of how to create a story where the moral decay of a society creates evil.)

Lastly...she could have done a story about the nature of heroism, about whether it's fair to ask one person to carry the burden of saving the world. That could have also been a thoughtful back and forth on the nature of power and whether it breeds responsibility along with it in terms of how its wielded. Does Alina have a right to walk away? Does she have the right to say, "I don't want this destiny?"

(Want to see this done well? See Peter Parker in the Spiderman films featuring Toby Maguire. Yes, even the last one, which is trash, but is still thematically and morally consistent with the other two films.)

Etc, etc. These are all three different moral journeys her protagonists could have on, but it feels like she tried to do variations on all three and just kind of hit a wall because they're all inconsistent with each other. "Power = bad" isn't really a meaningful theme, not when your story hinges on people needing power to create change and when your villain is somebody who had to claw his way to the top to get it after years of suffering genocide and prejudice.