#of course gonna -> going to but tf am i supposed to say to refer to a group of people as opposed to one? 'you guys?'

[briskunt]

i don't know how to translate this sentence into standard english.. how do you make "y'all're" normal

[al1x00]

⚠️CHAPTER 8 SPOILERS⚠️

You know it's a Katy fic™ when the tags for the previous chapter audibly made you gasp and question what the hell happened and then for the next one they're all lovey-dovey🥰

THEY'RE GOING TO HOBIE'S FARM I'M CRYING AJDSJKDASD

ALSO A WHOLE MONTH OF TRAVELING?! Damn imagine riding on horseback 30/31 days in a row and only stopping every once in a while to rest and eat like that's excruciating.

"To him, you were his wife in everything but on paper. To you, he was everything. You suppose it was all the same." JASJDBBKAS THEY NEED TO GET OUT OF THAT HELLHOLE AND HAVE A SPRING WEDDING I'M BEGGING YOU KATY😭😭

"You've noticed Cherry has become friendlier towards Bucky, and Bucky seemed to like the added attention." AAA AM I SMELLING A NEW LITTLE SHIP WITH THE HORSES? I love how they somehow mirror Hobie's and R relationship too it's so cute😭😭

"You're situated in the middle of nowhere." THE REFERENCE TO THE TITLEE

"But you can try, plant and sow over and over again until a single leaf will sprout, until a plant bears fruit." The fact that this phrase right here kind of represents what they both (mostly R) tried to do after they found eachother again after five years just makes me sob. It's like they were complete strangers all over again, but they knew eachother so well that they knew that they could bring out the best part of the other. Even though they were just hollows of the people they were before, because everyone changes a bit, they still had fate, love and most importantly patience for the other.

My suspicions that R was married off to someone after Hobie left are getting higher and higher with every hint we get, because who tf is this man that R is worried about? WHAT DOES R NEED TO SAY TO HOBIE?! COMMUNICATE PLEASE.

R KISSING THE SCAR ON HOBIE'S NECK I'M DEAD, BURIED SIX FEET UNDERGROUND WITH THE BUGS EATING MY SKIN ADJAKSDJSASK I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

AND OF COURSE THEY GET INTERRUPTED, it's another important part of a Katy fic™. I need to read all the chapters again and start counting how many times they got interrupted while talking or anything else😭

AAAA RIRII OH MY GOD MY GIRL

Yuri now has a sidekick when it comes in making fun of Hobie because Riri is here and sassier than ever

R is so real for crying after seeing the ring on his finger again after five years because honestly? I would do the same. Start to sob my eyes out of my sockets and fucking wail.

AWW THE DOGGO SHE'S SUCH A CUTIE

You've heard of the cat distribution system now get ready for the dog distribution system

R AND HOBIE TAKING BACK THE LIFE THEY BOTH DESERVE I'M CRYING SCREAMING SOBBING THEY DESERVE THEIR LITTLE CORNER OF HEAVEN AFTER ALL THEY'VE BEEN THROUGHT

WHATTT BUCKEYE YOU NASTY HORSE WHAT DID YOU DO TO CHERRY😭😭 SHE'S JUST A LITTLE LADY

I thought we were about to have another Culver situation but no it's just that old mexican man😒

RIRI SENT THE LETTER?? NOW IT MAKES SENSE

Riri just saw him sulking in her saloon and writing letters upon letters and just yanked them and sent those without even thinking about it

But she also kinda saved R's life sending those letters, because if she didn't R would still be in that horrible place, suffering the abuse of her aunt and uncle, physically there but mentally far away

THE OAK TREE JUST LIKE THE ONE BACK HOME THE PARALLELS DBAKKDKSLC

Also we don't talk enough about how scared Hobie is. He's scared of losing R more than anything, more than his own demise, he'd rather be buried alive than to see her blood drenching his hands and her once joyful eyes now empty. He's so scared of slipping and failing, because that one mistake could cost both their lives and I can't even begin to imagine the burden he would feel if something like that somehow happened, if R died just because he made a mistake, because it was his fault.

Brb I'm gonna go cry in a corner😔

You know what they say, "to be loved is to be changed", and R and Hobie really took it word for word. R still loves Hobie despite all his imperfections and dull facade he had to adopt to survive in the west, despite all the terrible things he did to live to see the day, to see her smiling face once again. And Hobie loves R more than life itself, shows her that love can be gentle and tender, not the once she used to experience back at "home", all the fading scars that burned under the healed skin.

GODD this chapter was so bittersweet but I also had to take breaks every once in a while and take laps around the house because I developed trust issues with your series and whenever something's too calm I have the genuine fear that someone will happen sooner or later LMAO BUT I LOVED ITT you made an amazing job with the dialogues and I'm IN LOVE with the descriptions I LOVED ITTT thank you for another amazing chapter Katy❤️ ly

To Live Simply

Pairing: Cowboy! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 13.1 k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, No specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing) (Hobie is mentioned taller than her), CW suggestive, CW food mentions, TW abuse mention, CW drinking, CW violence mention. Wild west AU, Cowboy AU.

A/N: I wrote my late dog in this to remember her by, please be nice to the dog ❤️

Our Place in the Middle of Nowhere Masterlist

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CHAPTER 8 >>> CHAPTER 9

The journey to Hobie's farm was excruciating, yet quiet and peaceful. If not for both yours and Hobie's still healing injuries it would've been a more pleasant ride. Surprisingly enough, there wasn't anyone who wanted to ambush you, and no one to point a gun at; no one to hurt you and Hobie.

The entire time you were afraid, afraid that something would happen the least you expected it. You were waiting for disaster to hit, you've never been at peace on the road, so you were high strung, hands gripping tightly around the reins while you kept your gun fully loaded and ready on your back. Luckily, nothing noteworthy happened during that one whole month of traveling west and away from the south.

Hobie clung to you like sap on wood, and you did too. You both never spoke of what happened that day, it was horrible, even now hallucinations still linger in the back of your head. Sometimes you see her staring at you on the side of the road, sometimes you smell burnt coffee out of nowhere. Hobie understood what they put you through while he lay asleep dreaming of you. He did everything he could to help you return to reality with every grasp of your hand, and with every kiss on your temple— effectively shaking you awake. You take care of him too, changing his bandages in camp, wincing with him whilst you clean his wounds.

It was just you and him, and you've got everything to lose if they ever find you.

You both were careful on the road, always traveling at night under the stars. Lighting small fires that are enough to keep you warm. You've even started to hide your face under a bandana. If it was absolutely needed to go into town, you and Hobie never stayed too long to make an impression. To everyone else, he was Larry Smith and you were his wife. To him, you were his wife in everything but on paper. To you, he was everything. You suppose it was all the same.

The horses are well kept despite the long rides, they slept well, ate even better than you and Hobie. You've noticed Cherry has become friendlier towards Bucky, and Bucky seemed to like the added attention.

Your back aches from the long ride, dawn has just begun to break. The breeze hums in your ears as you and Hobie finally make it to his farm. A piece of land in a valley and in between monstrous mountains that rise up into the clouds; and what seems to be thousands of miles of nothingness. There's nothing but land everywhere you look, the town you passed through hours ago is nothing but a dot in the far distance.

You're situated in the middle of nowhere.

“It's not much, but it's home.” Hobie stands before you, shoulders relaxed, eyes glancing towards you as if he's waiting for approval.

The farmhouse isn't as grand as your old home, it doesn't have the gilded awnings or marble pillars that seem to rise up towards the heavens. The house is made out of wood, two stories high with a simple porch that wraps around the entire structure. Its white paint is chipping, doors weathered by the elements and time. Empty flower pots sit nearby, just waiting to be used once again. Further away, a barn sits near a small pond. The structure’s red paint faded into a murky brown with dead vines covering its side. A windmill stands next to it, the blades squeak in the wind, wood creaking whenever a harsh breeze blows.

The picket fences around the property lay broken with its old chalky paint cracking and melting away. The land surrounding it doesn't look any better, it's barren and dry save for the tall brown grass growing everywhere. There are also stumps left behind by cut trees, a couple have survived long enough to grow as tall as the barn and they both sit behind the farmhouse a few paces away. It lacks any greenery you'd expect for a farm. With its dry soil underneath your feet, you're sure that there's nothing that could grow here. But you can try, plant and sow over and over again until a single leaf will sprout, until a plant bears fruit.

There's nothing else all around the place, nothing but stretches and miles upon miles of empty land. You like it that way. It's just you and him, him and you. You'd never have it any other way.

For the first time in a very long time, you feel like you can finally breathe. Fate has finally granted you reprieve.

“It's perfect.” You smile, stepping forward, reaching for his hand and then squeezing it once. “It's home.”

Hobie's lips slowly curl up into a smile, intertwining your fingers around his own. “What are we waitin' for?” With a sudden arm around the back of your knees, he gracefully carries you in his arms, earning a surprised yelp and laughter from you. You grasp at his vest, giggling against his chest. “Let's get inside.”

Even in his arms, you still feel the gnawing in the back of your mind. The danger that lurks behind the mountains, a danger that you both are ignoring for now in place of bliss. It's as if a heavy blanket is laid upon your chest, crushing you under its weight, breaking your rib cage in half, squishing your heart until a mush of blood and muscle is the only thing left in its wake.

Then, there's the nature of the man from the place you once called your home. You think he'd kill you the moment he sees you in the arms of Hobie, laughing against his chest, holding on to him as if he's your husband. Should I tell Hobie? You thought to yourself, it will ruin him. It will ruin you in his mind. Your heart thuds against your chest akin to a train engine just from thinking about it. You think it'll never go away, that it will continue to eat at you like you're a carcass left for the vultures in a dry humid desert. But for now, you stay laughing against his skin, kissing every inch of his face as he brings you inside. Until you're ready, you promise yourself that you'll tell him, even if it ruins you.

Hobie, unbeknownst to the inner turmoil you're having; kisses you back gently, dry lips against your sweaty forehead, he doesn't mind as he peppers your face. It's a battle, where you two are the winners.

You kick about in his arms, the stubble on his chin tickles you, and of course he notices it. He decides to hear you laugh, really laugh— so he nudges your head away, rubbing his stubble up and down your neck. Your giggles immediately fill the home, leaning away, hands patting his chest rapidly. If not for his hold on you, you would've fell seconds ago.

“Enough!” You shriek, but your own laughter betrays you. With every nudge, you forget about your thoughts, only focusing on the man before you.

Hobie wheezes, moving an inch away from your neck. “You sure? I don't think ‘m done yet.” He fixes his grasp on you, hand placed just above your ribs, fingers flexing, threatening to tickle you there.

You scoff, a sound similar to a giggle. “We've been on the road for a long time, Hobie, and we haven't had a proper bath in weeks!” He opens his mouth to speak. “A dip in the river doesn't count.”

With furrowed brows, he leans closer, lips curled mischievously. “You tellin’ me that I smell?”

You chuckle, hand patting his cheek lovingly. “No, I'm saying that I smell.”

“Really?” Hobie starts to lean closer but you stop him with your hand on his forehead. He smiles, trying to wiggle his head. “I was just about to check!”

There's the same glint in your eyes. You hum, cradling his jaw, pushing him gently upwards. The scar on his neck is in full display to you, Hobie tries to shake his head in protest, his sudden insecurity for the raised scar makes him think that you were second guessing your choices. But with your simple movement of pulling yourself up, enough to be eye level to the scar, and with your lips resting upon it makes him think otherwise.

He turns into honey under your touch, and you're the one licking his sweetness off of your finger tips.

You feel his staggered breath under your lips, Hobie almost drops you the second you kiss his scar. He feels your love through it all, fingers digging into your side but not enough to leave a mark. Closing his eyes, he lets you peck as your thumb runs along his Adam's apple that bops up and down with every nervous swallow. He even leans upwards to give you more space.

“I missed you.” Hobie says in a breathy whisper while you continue to attack his skin, hand pressed on your back, helping lift you up. “I should've told you that when I first—” You hold onto his nape to kiss higher, nipping gently, earning a shaky exhale from him. “—fuckin’ hell, you'll be the death of me. Five minutes in and you're already tryin’ to—”

“Knock knock?”

“Oh fuck—!” You suddenly drop down to the floor, butt aching as you stare at the visitor standing in the doorway.

“Shit—” Hobie fumbles, none of the coolness he exhibited during your journey. He tries to help you up, but then immediately decides to get his gun out that he also flounders over. His gun falls, bullets falling out, metal clanking on the dusty wooden floors. “Ah, fuck!” Kneeling down, he tries to pick up all the scattered bullets.

“Caught you in a bad time, huh?”

You glance between Hobie and the woman in the doorway. Hobie sighs, eyes staring daggers at the stranger. Her curly hair is styled in braids, leather chaps and jacket matching, hands casually placed inside her jean pockets. The sun behind her drapes her in gold, the same colour as the hat sitting atop her head. Her genuine smile is one of those contagious smiles that turns your frown into a friendly grin, you smile wider when you meet with her eyes that are laced with amusement. She gives you a wink, and then returns her attention towards Hobie who has given up on picking up his ammo.

“No, no, take your time, Hobie.”

He sighs, head falling down in shame. “What are you doin' ‘ere, Riri?”

“I was on my routine check. Imagine my surprise when I saw Bucky frolicking outside with a new horse.” Riri enters, hand reaching towards you. “The name's Riri, a friend of Hobie's.”

You smile up at her, taking her hand as she gracefully lifts you back up on your feet. “Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Oh, I know who you are.” She shakes your hand, leaning slightly to whisper in a louder tone. “You're even prettier than what this loser told me.”

Hobie sighs, “Riri, c’mon—”

“Why don't you get up, cowboy?” Riri lets your hand go, she then crosses her arms over her chest whilst you watch them interact.

Hobie stays kneeling, turned away from you and Riri, hand conveniently on his lap. “Don't you dare tell her shit, Riri.” He says, green eyes narrowed into slits.

You tamp down a laugh, glancing down at Hobie who just shakes his head with a ghost of a smile. You're tempted to tease him too, but Riri catching you two in the act was enough embarrassment for him.

“You told stories about me?” If your cheeks could run any warmer, you can boil water on it.

“He's a chatterbox when he's drunk.”

“He is?” You turn towards the said man, beaming at him.

“Don't you have anythin' better to do—?” Hobie gets ignored as Riri continues to chat with you. He resigns, huffing in place.

“Mm-hmm, he says the craziest shit. You think he's all that out there but the second he drinks his third glass, he's out in my saloon yammering about something. Sometimes that something has to do with you.” She pauses, nudging your shoulder. “Don't worry, he only tells me the good stuff. I practically already know you.” Your eyes widen. “Not in a weird way, in a…”

“Good job, Ri, you made it awkward.” Hobie eggs her on.

Riri rolls her eyes. “She knows what I'm talking about, right?” She turns to you, smiling softly like she's already trying to apologize.

“That so? Don't worry, I understand what you meant.” You flick your eyes towards Hobie, who's still unable to stand up. “Since you already know me—”

“Ah, yes!” She claps her hands in understanding. “You may go to my saloon and dig more details about what Hobie's been doing these past five years.” Riri meets Hobie's eyes. “You never know, you might even come across our old gang.”

You copy her, teasing Hobie even more. “The more the merrier then.”

“Great,” Hobie huffs, finally standing up. “You've created a monster, Riri.”

“Don't call her a monster!” Riri acts offended for you.

“Yeah! Don't call me a monster!”

Hobie could only sigh in defeat. He mumbles under his breath, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. “If I wasn't so tired.”

“Oh that reminds me.” You say excitedly, you've finally found a friend after everything that has happened. “Do you want to stay for tea?”

“We don't have anythin', love.” Hobie gestures towards the near empty kitchen cabinets that were left open.

Riri smirks at the name he used for you. Hobie warns her with a look. “That would be great, but I gotta go back out there. I heard there's a huge deer roaming around and I want to be the one to get it before anyone else does.”

“That's too bad.” You're genuinely disappointed.

“Yeah, that's too bad.” Hobie copies sarcastically, less disappointed.

Riri chuckles, “don't worry, Y/N, my saloon's always open for you.” She clasps your shoulder. “Welcome to Scarlett Meadows, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Riri. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise, love,” Riri mocks him. Hobie audibly groans, she smacks his chest. “Welcome back, loser.” With a flourish, Riri exits the house and then jumps back on her horse to ride away. Hobie closes and locks the front door behind her.

“I like her already.”

Hobie wraps his arm around your middle, pulling you close for an embrace. “‘m glad, she's a good friend.”

You nuzzle his shoulder, to which he takes your cheek, already leaning down to meet you halfway. “The mood's ruined, Hobs.”

“Goddamnit.” He says, yet he still chuckles against your lips. Letting you go, you stay locked with his eyes while walking backwards towards the stairs. “Where are you goin'?” There's a growing smile on yours and Hobie's lips.

“You coming, cowboy?” You ask, and you see him flustered once again. Biting his lip, tapping his foot, and hands on his hips. As you head upstairs, you hear his heavy footsteps follow you; until you feel his arms wrap around you impatiently, carrying you the rest of the way while your laughter rings around the house.

—

Hobie, under the gaze of the sun, with his sweaty work shirt sticking to his skin as he hammers the windowsill in place; fixing the once shoddy workmanship left by the previous owner. You ogle him unabashedly. The ring that was previously hidden under the fabric of his bandana now sits upon his ring finger, you cried when you first saw it there for the first time in five years. He held you then, just like how he cradled you back when he gave the identical one to you.

He clings on the tresses that are filled with dried vines and creaking from his added weight. He hangs precariously, as if he's an expert climber at heart; you can't help but stare at him as he works on your shared home. You suppose you could use the old shakey tresses as your excuse on why you're watching him instead of tilling the land like you're supposed to. Telling him that you're only keeping watch of him just in case he falls so you could catch him. Which is impossible by itself, you'd break all your bones if you tried. But you suppose it'll be alright if it's for him. As if he feels your eyes on him, he looks over his shoulder, a smile slowly curling on his lips as he spots your form still kneeling on the same spot he left you in twenty minutes ago.

The soil balled up into your hands sits there forgotten. A bag of cherry tomatoes sits next to you, wind almost taking them in its breeze as one passes by. You don't look away when he calls you out after you were caught. Instead, you stare harder, unabashedly winking at him. To which earns a hearty laugh from Hobie who almost falls from his bout of laughter.

You stagger, hands raised towards him as if you can catch him from where you are. “Careful!”

Hobie continues to laugh, calming your worries. “‘m alright, you should watch your tomatoes—” a strong wind picks up, with summer almost completely gone as the colder breeze carries your bag of seeds away from you. “And there it goes!” His guffaw fades from behind as you scramble for the seeds.

“Fuck!” You yell, hand placed on your sun hat so it doesn't get blown away. Despite you running at full speed towards what could be next season's meal, you smile widely, you're at peace here.

Hobie follows after you, running and catching up to you in a mad dash. “Hurry slowpoke!” He passes you, laughing as he goes.

“Slowpoke?! C’mere you little—!” Hobie suddenly stops and then turns around to catch you mid sprint. Your body slams into him, earning a grunt from Hobie, but his smile stays as he holds you in his arms.

“Gotcha!” He embraces you in place, face nudging your shoulder fondly.

“You're all sweaty!” You shriek out happily, hand placed upon his waist, fists clumped in his shirt. The seeds belong to the wind now, you suppose.

“You're no better! You're covered in dirt, lovie!” Hobie playfully wipes his cheeks on your airy shirt, leaving streaks of sweat on the soft linen. You laugh louder, trying to scramble away. And he feels like he has finally found his home in your arms.

You wipe your soil marred hands on his shoulders, leaving your hand prints on his once pristine shirt. You suddenly stop giggling, Hobie thinks he did something wrong until he follows your line of sight. There, a few ways away from the two of you, stands a black dog eating from your bag of seeds.

“Is that a coyote?” You ask, still holding on to him.

“Don't think so.” He whispers back.

“She shouldn't eat that, it might get her sick.” You untangle yourself from Hobie, and then you slowly make your way towards said dog. Hobie stops you halfway, hand gently on your shoulder.

“It might bite you.” He roams his eyes over to her black coat and long tail, her ears are floppy on the side of her head as she continues to munch on the crunchy seeds. There's no collar or any indication that she has an owner, she looks fine and somewhat healthy. Before he could take you away just in case the dog decides that you're a better meal, you're running back towards the house in a mad dash. “Where are you goin'?”

“I'm getting some jerky!”

“What? Why?!” He yells back as you get further and further away.

“Just stay there and watch her!” Your dusty boots are already stomping away inside as Hobie does what you told.

Hobie crouches down, elbows sitting atop his knees, watching the dog chow down. The black labrador pauses from eating from the presence watching her, head peeking out from the bag. Her dark eyes blink at Hobie, he waits for her, hand reaching out in a friendly manner and trying not to scare her away with any sudden movements. The dog sniffs, tail slowly wagging as she walks forward.

You watch from behind, eyes growing wider as you see Hobie let the dog sniff at his hand. When she finally lets him pet her head, Hobie looks back at you with a soft smile.

“Look at you, you're an animal whisperer.”

“Nah, I bet she was just hungry and knows how to swindle.”

Chuckling, you saunter towards them slowly, kneeling beside Hobie, you place the dried meat beside her. “There you go, it's better than some seeds.”

Hobie observes how you gently smile at the friendly dog as she tentatively sits in front of the meat. You let the dog approach you, waiting patiently as she eats until there's none left. She sniffs your knee, nudging you with her snout. He laughs as you surrender the rest of the beef jerky.

It's a peaceful silence of him and you just sitting there on the dry grassy ground while the strange dog eats his entire supply of jerky. He suppose he can always run to the general store for more.

The sun is high up, yet it's a comfortable heat on his skin. He preferred summers here, the searing heat always kept him awake and alert. But with you now here, he prefers how the cooling wind nips at his skin, how the leaves are now turning into sunsets that you always adore. And how much you wake up clinging to his side every morning. He prefers this, living with you, finally experiencing life again as if he picked up a book from where he left off years ago; it took some time and a lot of hurt to get here, but he would've done it all over again if it ended just like this. Maybe he'd do better, maybe he would make better decisions— for now, instead of lamenting about all the things that have happened, he'd rather stay in the present where you're currently in.

“I think we should keep her.” You say after a few moments. Hobie just now noticed how the dog now lays on your lap, probably sleeping off her meal. Your hand rubs softly on her back, eyes shining under the sun. “My aunt never let me have pets, she said that a proper lady shouldn't smell of wet dog.”

“Look at you now, covered in dirt, sweat and dog slobber.”

“She'd fucking die.” You laugh, it's the first time you've ever laughed after mentioning her. You finally feel like the shackles of her memory are starting to loosen up against your ankles.

Your happy laughter is slowly replaced with a sob, Hobie, with tears in his own eyes, holds you against him. Arms enveloping you, hands cradling your head as if the simple movement would take it all away. He wishes it did, but he knows that it will take time, and he'll wait, and be there for you no matter how long it takes. Even if it doesn't fully go away.

Under the sunshine of autumn, dry blades of grass underneath you, breeze whispering and carrying your sobs into the wind; Hobie holds you like nothing else matters, like it's just you and him, him and you against the bloody, forsaken world.

—

Clover the dog has taken upon you, you named her after the first piece of clover that sprouted along the property after you and Hobie toiled away for weeks just trying to keep it all alive. You've both fallen into a routine, you two wake up later than you both intended, snuggling under the thick covers. Always rushing through the routine to have more time to tend the house. You share chores, you cook in the morning while he cooks dinner. He fixes the house, while you try to revive the farmland. At night, you check all his previous injuries for any signs of it opening up; and he does it to you too, as gentle and careful like you were. All in all, you're proud of what you two have accomplished.

It's your very own borrowed heaven.

The house is now fully painted a soft blue; the same shade you both saw when you crossed the ocean to this new land. The door that was once a murky, muddy brown is now in a snowy white that matches the windows and picket fences. The fences aren't complete yet, the rest are still laying next to the barn where Cherry and Bucky hunker down every night after an energetic ride around their pen that used to be covered in piles of old wood and metal scraps. It took an entire week to clean it up even with the combined powers of you, Hobie, and Riri, who decided to pay you two a visit from time to time. She said that she was only making sure that the ‘loser’ hasn't hurt you in any way. To which Hobie promptly rolled his eyes and threw a plank of wood at her feet, to his words ‘make yourself useful instead of being a pain in my own home.’ You joked that he's starting to sound like one of those old men who would chase people out of their property if someone would step a foot onto his grass. And of course he had to call you grandma for the rest of the day in front of Riri because of it.

You sigh in content, smiling eyes roaming along the greener grass from the porch where you sit; and following along bucky and cherry who are running freely around their paddock. Clover huffs in your lap, and you chuckle, wondering what she's dreaming about. The wind picks up, rustling the leaves in the trees, and carrying it in its breeze. The swing under you shifts from the strong wind, hinges creaking along as you push with your socked feet. Hobie built you this swing right on the porch when he found you looking at the stars with your back aching from the lack of a seat. To add to it, he made it so that it'll fit you and him together with Clover sleeping on your lap.

You cover yourself more with Hobie's jacket, shivering slightly, nose and fingers cold. There's a sudden warmth on your cheek, you don't flinch or gasp from the surprise, knowing that it's Hobie with a warm cup of tea.

“Hi,” you smile up, Hobie returns the grin. He looks softer, edges rounded up. He's fresh from a bath, skin smelling of lavender and citrus. He prefers to wear softer and fleecy clothes now, leaving all the leather behind unless he's going for a ride towards town. Now he likes wearing knitted jackets that keeps him warm and comfortable without the stiffness of leather. He prefers jeans now too, and shirts with no collars that clings to his scar uncomfortably. A testament to how the first two buttons on his work shirt are unbuttoned, showing off his chest. “You look handsome.”

“When do I not?” He holds your cup in one hand and a glass of amber in the other. The golden ring in his ring finger shines in the afterglow.

You tilt your head playfully, taking his glass instead of the mug, eyes never leaving his own. He raises a brow when you take a sip from the glass, feeling the burn from the alcohol line your throat. “You're right, never. You always look good.” Your words are only for him and him only as you whisper it.

“Damn right.” He accepts defeat, letting you drink his whiskey while he drinks from your mug of tea. Clinking his glass against your own, you let out a snort, scooching to allow him space as he sits.

The warm liquid seeps into his calloused hands, eyes flicking over to you and between the land that he once thought was barren. Your plants still haven't borne fruit, but the greenery has sprouted like a miracle on dead soil. You almost gave up on the first month when nothing was working in your favour when the ground was still dry and grey. But you didn't, you kept at it everyday, tilling the soil, planting and replanting, watering everything until a single sprout appeared overnight. You jumped for joy when you saw, he still smiles remembering you running towards him with Clover in tow, and slamming yourself against him just to snog him until he was breathless.

He couldn't have made this into a house without you. This wouldn't be a home without you either.

You poke his cheek, feeling how much softer it is than before. “Whatever you're thinking about, stop it.”

“You want me to stop thinkin’ ‘bout you?”

You groan with a smile, head plopping down on his shoulder. “You never fail to rile me up.”

“Pot meet kettle, love.” He looks at you lovingly, like how a man would stare into the eyes of his wife.

Smiling, you place the mouth of your glass on his lips, letting him sip from the amber while he does the same with his tea placed on your own lips. You both drink, arms crossed over the other, lending each other's hand over the other.

You gulp down the warmth, letting it seep through your bones and muscles, letting it relax into you like a hug from a beloved.

Meanwhile, Hobie never let his eyes off you. Deep green eyes, the same colour as the sea of clovers in front of the home, has found its place on your lips, watching you drink from his cup while he drinks from your own.

A comfortable silence settles over the three of you. Clover snores on your lap, happy and content after finding her home. Hobie's hand kneads at your nape, letting his cool hands settle over your warm skin. With your head placed on his shoulder, you bask in your personal paradise. The birds chirp just a few ways away from you, finding their nests settled on the windmill that you two haven't fixed just yet. The sunset paints the entire farm in shades of orange and pink, hues of autumn blanketing the peaceful place you and Hobie built.

This is home, not the marbled walls of the manor you used to reside. Not the fine silks you used to sleep on, *this is home; with it's rough edges, broken pipes that groan in the night, with its walls made from wood and brick that feels cold on your skin— it's home, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

You feel him shift closer to you, lips pressing softly against your temple. His hand tracing above your scar. “Shoulder feelin’ alright?”

Humming, you close your eyes as he peppers kisses from your temple down to your wind whipped cheek. “It's feeling much better now, thanks to you.” He takes your glass and places it down on the floor right next to his own mug.

“I didn't do much.” Hobie chuckles, returning to your side not a moment longer, his knuckles brushes along your collarbone. “‘sides, you did all the healin’”

You sigh, eyes meeting up with his own. He can see love in your simple gaze. “Yeah, only because you've cleaned it every night before bed.” Hobie chuckles when you poke his stomach, in return, he nudges his nose against your own, earning a soft hum of approval from you. “How's your head? And everything else?” You narrow your eyes playfully, “can you still count to a hundred?”

His loud guffaw makes you laugh. Shaking his head, he pulls you closer. “It's good,” he says against your lips, breath fanning across your soft skin. “I've got a good nurse.”

“Your nurse didn't go to school for it.” You joke again. Hobie pecks your lips once, twice, until you're pulling him in by his shirt. You feel his smile throughout it all. He kisses you gently, yet he holds you like he's about to lose you.

The much needed kiss is interrupted by Clover sneezing on your lap, snot covering your flowy skirt. You pull away with a laugh, eyes still closed as his fingers still grips your chin, already feeling him pull you in once again.

“Hobie.” You call while he continues to snog you, kissing along the shape of your lips, etching how your lips feel, and how you sigh against him; how you kiss back wholeheartedly.

He hums, murmuring your name while the sound of his kisses echo around the porch and atop the songs of birds flying overhead.

You giggle as his searing hands find its way under your shirt and onto your stomach. He pauses, eyes blinking slowly at you. You clamp down, shining lips shut closed as he raises a brow.

“What? You ticklish now?” Hobie asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You shake your head with a smile. “Nope.”

There's a grin slowly forming on his equally shiny lips. “I think I need to reacquaint myself, I don't remember you being ticklish—” he pokes your side. “—right ‘ere.”

You gasp in feigned offense, “I'm not!”

“You sure ‘bout that?” Wiggling his fingers, you laugh, reaching for his hands before he could attack.

“Okay! Only on that part.” You confess with a breathy laugh. He nods, tucking that information inside his head to be used one day.

Hobie returns to his drink, opting to sip at what was supposed to be your tea. The tea is now tepid, but he still drinks it anyway. You push the swing with your feet, softly, the swing sways back and forth while Clover lays asleep with your hand petting her head.

“We should take Riri up on her offer.” You say into the growing dark of the farm, watching the sun go further down and the light fade away. “It's been three months since she first invited us over.”

“She can wait,” Hobie has latched himself on you, arm snaked around your middle as he finishes his tea.

“Want to hog me all to yourself then?”

“That obvious?” He glances at your beaming face before his eyes stare at Bucky and Cherry trotting inside the barn on their own. Sometimes he thinks those two are actually humans trapped inside a horse's body. He has never seen smarter horses than them.

“Are you worried? About me getting back out there?” You play with the button of his work shirt, letting his scent waft over you when a breeze carries it towards you.

“What if…” Hobie sighs, eyes staring at you with worry. It's a grip taking hold around his body. “What if someone finds us again?” He remembers all the times you two were found by both the law and your aunt’s hired guns even when he took extra precautions. There's still that looming threat especially with how suspiciously peaceful your journey to the farm was. He has every right to be worried, you are too. “As much as good you are with a gun, I don't want to see you shootin’ it at someone again. ‘m… not tryin’ to control you, I just—”

You hold his cheek, thumb brushing along his jaw tenderly, feeling all the tiny scars left on his skin. “No, I understand. You're not like them, Hobie. No one will ever control me ever again.” At your words, he leans towards your touch, hand lifting up to meet with yours. “I won't let them.��� Nodding, he kisses your palm, you notice how his hand shakes above your own. You don't mention it. “It's been five months since the train, they might have given up.”

“Let's hope so.” He softly says, green eyes gazing at you. Eyes that haven't seen peace in years, until now.

“Yeah, hope.” It's a fickle thing, but it's enough to light a fire in you. If they come, you'll fight with everything you've got. You've got everything to lose now, and you're willing to wield a gun once more to protect it all. If not, then it'll be a gift that you won't throw away, you'd live here peacefully, live the life you've always longed for. You're afraid that it would be the former.

—

You saddle up the horses in the barn, Buckeye watches your every move as you strap the saddle over to Cherry. There’s worry in his inky eyes, a look that you're all too familiar with. Clover runs around the barn, sniffing everything she comes across.

“You alright there, Buck? What's got you all worried, huh?” You don't expect him to answer, but he neighs in response, a sharp one that has you raising a brow. You've never heard him make that irritated sound. “What's gotten into you?” As you slide your hands down on Cherry's stomach to finish the saddle, Bucky, neighs loudly, hooves thumping against the ground. He looks like he's about to rush into you and throw you over. “Bucky, calm down!” You put your hands up, staying away from both horses.

“Buckeye!” Hobie's booming voice ricochets around the barn as he enters, putting a stop to Bucky's tantrum. Even Clover stops running for a second before returning to her adventure. “What's gotten into you, boy?” He pets his snout, effectively calming him down.

“I was putting on Cherry's saddle and he suddenly got mad.”

“He looks alright.” Nodding, Hobie roams his eyes all over his horse, checking each of his horse shoes in case there's something embedded in his feet. “Nothin’s wrong with him. What about Cherry? He's been overprotective of her lately.”

“Ah shit, do you think I put it on too tight?” Hobie keeps his hold on Bucky's reins, just in case. You check all the belts and buckles on the saddle, finding the fit just right. Until you get to her stomach. “Wait—” hands roaming around, you feel a bump. “What is that?” Cherry looks at you, if horses could raise their brow, she would've done it already. “Are you—?!” You gasp, eyes meeting with Hobie. Glaring at the horse next to him, you embrace Cherry. “Bucky, what did you do to Cherry!”

He already knows what you found. “I think it was a combined effort, love.” Scratching the back of Bucky's ear, Hobie chuckles at your reaction. “You did not waste time, huh, boy?”

“She's smaller than him!” You look at Bucky as if he can explain himself, to which the horse just huffs at you. Hobie keeps patting Buckeye on his back, while Cherry isn't even listening in on the conversation anymore. She prefers the pile of hay next to her, eating without a care.

“And? You are too compared to me.” Hobie unabashedly answers for Bucky. You gasp then laugh, a laugh that changes to a playful offended chortle. You grab a bucket from the ground, ready to throw it at him.

“You should run, Hobie!” Before you could finish yelling, Hobie's already sprinting back inside the house. You run after him, bucket in hand, ready to throw carrots at him.

Hobie waits for carrots to be pelted at him, only to turn around to see you gawking at the planted vegetable patch before you. He stops by the steps on the porch, hands on his hips as you let go of the bucket with a thud.

“What's wrong?”

“They've grown.” You whisper in disbelief, Hobie almost didn't catch your words. Chuckling, you look at Hobie with tears in your eyes. “We’ve got tomatoes!” Pouncing on him, he catches you, arms holding you in place while you celebrate against his neck.

He roams his eyes downwards towards the tomatoes until he spots a handful of it just under a bunch of leaves. “Holy shit!” Hand behind your head, he jumps up and down, matching your excitement. “You did it, love!”

You lean away, and then immediately peppers his face with a dozen kisses, leaving him almost dizzy. Before he could kiss back, you're already back on the ground, plucking the ripest looking one. It's as big as your hand, red and plump; ripe for the taking. All the countless times you've read botany books have finally borne fruit.

Wiping the dirt off of the tomato on your shirt, you hand it to him. “Wanna do the honors?”

“This is all you, lovie.” He gently places it back in your palm, hand lingering on yours; identical rings shining brightly.

You nod as thanks, heart beating rapidly. With a tentative bite, you let the juice coat your mouth, overflowing until it's dripping from your chin. It's perfect, and Hobie thinks you look perfect even with juice sliding down your chin and arm.

“Do you want a room? Because I can go.” Hobie jokes, you laugh heartily.

“Here,” you say, mouth full. “Try it.”

Hobie takes it, biting down just as the same as you, with juices flowing down his arm and onto his shirt. “Fuck!”

You nod rapidly, pride filling your chest. “Right?!”

“Y/N,” he calls, mouth still taking bites of the produce. Gesturing towards the neighboring plants, he watches as your expression morphs into pure elation when you spot your potatoes growing out of the soil, like bald heads peeking out from underneath.

There's dozens of them all lined up and ready to be harvested. You almost guffaw, satisfied and successful at growing something on the once thought barren land.

“We're gonna need a basket.” Perhaps your trip to Riri's saloon will have to wait.

—

The trip to town took longer since Cherry was out of commission, and you only had Bucky to take with you on the ride. By the time you and Hobie make it to Riri's saloon, lunch was in full swing. The place is smaller compared to the other establishments you've been in, and yet, it doesn't lack the energy. Customers line the bar, eating and drinking their fill. Jaunty music fills your ears just as when the saloon doors close behind you, Hobie's hand is placed on the small of your back, fingertips pressing softly, leading you towards the far end of the saloon where the bar is placed.

You roam your eyes around, the band plays on a stage in your right, cello, fiddles and trumpets play alongside the piano. Customers dance around with their partners, smiling faces whizz past you, giving you a polite greeting as you go. There are numerous tables littered around with the people sitting there and chatting energetically, their conversations rising above the music.

A hearty laugh above reaches your ears, when you look up, you see a spiral staircase that leads to the second floor with a balcony. A few patrons look down at you with their drinks in their hands, some are watching the poker game with amusement in their eyes. Drinking glasses clink around while you continue to make your way towards Riri who happens to be tending the bar.

The walls are in a creamy white with rows upon walls of paintings full of portraits and landscapes. There's a giant moose antler above the bar, looming over everyone. The place smells of booze and whiskey. Oddly enough, the scent of melted chocolate lingers above the fog of rum and moonshine. A crystal chandelier hangs high up on the ceiling, the centerpiece of the saloon. Sunlight from the windows filters through the brightly coloured glass, drenching the walls and floor with a kaleidoscope of light.

“Hey, Hobie!” Someone yells from above, Hobie gives them a curt nod. A handful of people recognize him, some greet him kindly like an old friend would. Some gaze at him with trepidation in their eyes.

A stranger with an eyepatch clasps his shoulder before staggering outside. Hobie chuckles and rolls his eyes at the older man.

“Someone's popular.” You whisper.

“A side effect of my reputation.” He smiles gently, fingers tapping on the small of your back. Leading you towards the corner of the bar, the far end where the back door sits behind it; he settles the two of you there, further away from strangers that could make you uncomfortable.

“Finally!” Riri exclaims, “the prodigal son returns!” Everyone at the bar hoots and whistles at Hobie. He ignores each of them, earning some booing and hissing from the crowd. You chuckle from seeing Hobie hide his smile under the brim of his hat. Riri slides in front of you, beer bottle in hand and then plops it in Hobie's waiting hand. “And with the prettiest girl this side of town has ever seen. What have you two been up to in your little slice of heaven, huh? Haven't seen you in months.”

“Busy with the farm.” Hobie says against the lip of his bottle, hand never leaving your back.

“Farm? Your dirt farm? You sure it's not you getting busy with our girl here, eh, Hobs?” Riri gives you a knowing look, you're flustered enough as it is. Hobie just shakes his head, eyes roaming everywhere but your eyes or Riri's.

You clear your throat. “We actually managed to grow something out there. We've got tomatoes, potatoes and even some carrots and strawberries blooming.” Your genuine smile turns Riri's playful one to a proud grin. “We'd bring you some of our harvest but we only rode on Bucky. We didn't want to stress him out further.”

“Why's that?” Riri cleans a glass with a cloth, “Is Cherry sick? We've got a veterinarian here for that.”

“No, she's pregnant.”

“Goddamn, Bucky did not waste any time.”

Hobie nods, “that's what I said.”

“Let's hope his rider doesn't do the same, eh?” She sends you both a wink.

“Fuckin' hell, Riri.” Hobie squeezes the bridge of his nose whilst you're left blubbering from her words. “Is there lunch left for us?” He says with a sigh.

“If you're nice about it, yeah.” Riri looks over at you. “Except for you, pretty, there's always a meal here for you.” You smile, head tilting towards Hobie's shoulder from bashfulness.

“Roast beef still on the menu?” Hobie asks, bottle half empty, stomach growling.

“Say please.” Riri says pointedly.

Hobie huffs, flicking his eyes towards you briefly before surrendering. “...please.”

Riri smirks, “it's always on the menu.” Hobie rolls his eyes at that.

He pokes your back, knuckles tracing around where he poked you. “How ‘bout you? Riri's chef can cook anythin’ you want.”

“Don't steal my words, Hobie.” Riri raises a brow. “Karl can make you anything you want.”

You laugh nervously at the eyes staring and waiting for you. “Uh, I'll have what he's having. And…” Hobie encourages you with a smile and a squeeze on your back. “Soup, any kind of soup you've got available.”

Riri pats the back of your hand with a soft smile. “We've got pumpkin, is that alright?”

“It's perfect.” You turn towards Hobie who's beaming at you, hiding his face with the brim of his hat from the rest of the customers.

—

You watch and listen with a smile in your seat, hand clasped around a glass of orange juice. The band ramps up their set, the music has gotten jauntier and happier right after you finished eating. More people have left the bar to either dance or play poker upstairs. Hobie still sits behind you, fingers curled around your belt loop lovingly. You feel him tapping rhythmically to the sound of the snare drum.

Looking over your shoulder, he nods at you with a soft smile. “They're good, aren't they?” You ask, chin atop your shoulder.

“Yeah, but I think you can beat them.”

You roll your eyes with a chuckle, fully twisting around on the bar stool to wipe a drop of sauce at the tip of his chin, fingers lingering there for a moment. “It's not a competition, Hobs.”

Before Hobie could give a reply, Riri slides over with a slice of chocolate cake. “You know how to play?”

You eye the dessert. “The piano, but I haven't practiced in a while.”

“She's bein’ humble. She's bloody brilliant on the keys.” Hobie takes the plate from Riri with a quick thank you, and then he places it in front of you casually.

You almost protested, thinking that Hobie yanked another customer's order. But Riri proves your thoughts wrong when she, herself, hands you a small fork for your dessert. You mumble a soft thank you, too shy, too grateful to say it louder lest you burst into tears. The cake has chocolate swirls with a large, plump strawberry on top of it. You don't waste time digging in.

“Isn't there an old broken piano at your place?” Riri continues the conversation, eyes flicking to your happy face with a soft smile.

“Yeah, been thinkin’ ‘bout fixin’ the damn thing but I have no idea how.” You almost actually cried on your cake when Hobie said those words.

“I think old man Roberto can fix it.” You savour the cake, listening in on the conversation.

“Your pianist?”

“Yeah, he's a doctor too, did you know that? Pretty great if you ask me—” Riri pauses, you follow her confused look. You see Hobie's stony expression, green eyes aflame like greek fire engulfing an entire fleet of ships. You and Riri have the same idea by following his gaze. She clears her throat at the sight, while you only see a broad shouldered man on the stairs, watching the band play.

“You okay?” You feel worried all of a sudden, what if this was another Culver situation? “Do you know him?”

“An old…acquaintance. Don't worry, he just owes me money.” Patting your back, he doesn't want to lie to you. What would that even bring?

“Oh, alright.” You slide the plate over to him. “I saved you some cake.”

Hobie chuckles, “nah, it's all yours, love.”

“Thank you,” you take the plate back. “I was just being nice.” Hobie shakes his head with a chuckle, you miss how he's having a silent conversation with Riri while you chow down.

“What did you even put in this, Riri? It's so fucking good!” With your fork, you scrape the plate to gather the rest of the chocolate icing. You have no shame at this point, it's the best cake you've ever had.

Riri takes a while to reply, so you lift your head up to see what's going on. You're met with her genuine smile. “Don't thank me, thank my grandma, it's a family recipe.”

“Well, thank you, Riri's grandma.”

Hobie stares at something behind you, Riri interrupts you before you could look over your shoulder. “Do you want to meet the band?”

“Holy shit! Really?” You grin from ear to ear, turning to see Hobie give you a nod and a small smile. “Do I have something in my teeth?” You grin widely, Hobie shakes his head, amused by you.

“Yeah, they're really nice. Come on, let's get you acquainted.” Riri jumps over the bar effortlessly, taking you by the hand and leading you towards the dance floor.

“I'll be back, Hobie!” You excitedly say over your shoulder as Riri twirls you around in the middle of the crowd. Hobie chuckles in his seat, drinking a cup of tea. He hears Riri ask you to dance, to which you happily agree.

Hobie keeps an eye on you, and he trusts Riri to keep you safe until he's done dealing with him. Hobie watches as Miguel saunters off towards him, spurs clinking as he sits down on your seat.

“Looks like Riri took your girl.” He says while ordering a beer from the other bartender.

“Why didn't you tell me that it was her, Miguel?”

Miguel catches the drink in his open palm as the bottle slides from the other end to his hand. “Simple, I didn't know who she was.” He cracks it open by banging the cap against the edge of the bar. The metal clanks on the floor as it falls.

“Bullshit, O’Hara.” Hobie says through clenched teeth.

“She has a sweet tooth doesn't she?” He refers to your almost clean plate.

“Miguel.” Hobie utters more pointedly, taking the beer from his hand before he even takes a sip. “Why didn't you tell me it was her?”

Miguel sighs, “I didn't know it was her. But I had a hunch. People at camp talk y’know. And you're a blabber mouth when you're drunk. A deadly combination.” He eyes his beer bottle, Hobie waits for more answers. “The guy who gave me the job just gave me her description. The same description I gave you, Hobie. Not my fault you didn't recognize her.”

“Who gave it to you?”

Miguel flexes his hand, asking for his drink back. Hobie clenches his jaw before sliding the bottle back to him reluctantly. “You should thank me. I got you two together again.”

“Just tell me, Miguel, or I'll ask for that bounty you owe me.”

“You technically didn't complete the job, so…” Hobie stares at him with the same look that Miguel has only seen him sport when he has his target in his crosshairs. “It was a middleman. He said his boss was an oil baron of some kind.” He’s about to take a sip, but doesn't. Grimacing when he brings the bottle back down to only see Hobie having the same fiery look. It brings a shiver down his spine. “Can you stop?”

“Who?”

“Don't know, didn't ask.”

“She could've died, Miguel.” That thought has him trembling in place. Hobie balls his fists, hiding how the mere thought of it shakes him to his core.

“She would've died either way, Hobie. But she had you, if I gave the job to any other person, she would've. Trust me, I did not know it was her, or that you even knew her. It's not like I made her come here.”

Hobie inhales sharply. “It wasn't you who sent the letter?”

“What fucking letter?”

“I sense some tension in the air. You know, conducting business in my establishment isn't allowed. Except if you involve me.” Riri jumps to Miguel's side, taking the beer from his hand, chugging it as sweat drips from her brow. With a sigh, Miguel orders another beer.

“Where's Y/N?” Hobie answers his own question when he sees you playing the piano with the rest of the band. His lips curl up into a smile, fists unclenching at the music you're playing. You're having the time of your life.

“Relax, Romeo, she's fine.” Riri claps to the rhythm. Hobie hears your hearty laugh from where he's sitting. The saloon's band seems to be having fun too.

In Hobie's mind, everything clicks in place. “It was you who sent my letter.” Hobie jabs his finger on Riri's shoulder blade.

She snorts, “of course it was me. I couldn't handle your sulking any longer. Seriously, I was losing customers because of your weekly letter writing and crying session.”

Miguel laughs, he sees Hobie's glare and tamps down to a snicker. Riri leans in the bar to yank a bottle of whiskey from underneath the shelves.

“Why?”

“You weren't happy being a lone ranger.”

Hobie feels like lightning struck him. “Fuckin' hell, Riri, you could've said somethin'. Warned me ‘bout it.”

“And? You'd somehow find it in your heart to immediately forgive her and pick her up from the docks?” Riri pours the whiskey inside three glasses, handing it to each of the men. “You’re like a brother to me, Hobie. We came up in this fuckwad’s gang—” she points at Miguel who's caught in the middle. He just pinches the bridge of his nose. “—at the same time. Do you think I'd let you wallow and die alone in that dirt farm of yours?”

Hobie doesn't answer. He knows that the journey was needed. But if Riri actually warned him about it beforehand, would you be here right now? Or would you be dead somewhere along your journey to him because he couldn't find it in his heart to come to you?

“See? Not everything's my fault. Just a freak coincidence.” Miguel pipes up, now eating a slice of cake just as you have.

Riri ignores him. “I know you had a slight apprehension towards her because of what happened.”

“She could've died, Riri. When I found her, she was trying to steal food.”

Riri breathes shakily, eyes glossing over. “And I'm sorry for that, truly. I never thought that would happen, or that her people would put a bounty on her. I only knew her from you, Hobie. I'm sorry. And I'll apologize to her, I promise.”

“She's really good on that piano.” Miguel comments before returning to his cake. Hobie and Riri continue to ignore him.

Hobie sucks in his teeth. “‘Slight apprehension’ didn't cut it back then.” He whispers.

Riri looks at him with a frown, eyes downturned. She knows his story, and she knows his side of it. “You know when I was a kid I used to hate the edges on bread. I always asked my mom to cut it off for me which added more workload for her, but she still did it.” She smiles fondly. “And now as an adult I love the edges, it's the best part of the bread for me.”

“What are you sayin'?”

“I'm saying that people change. And I'm not just referring to her.” Hobie understands her double entendre.

Hobie scoffs, stealing a quick glance at you. “It's bread, Riri.”

“I can see that she may have thought you were a burden back then but I highly doubt she has the same thoughts now.” Riri takes a sip from her glass. “How would you even know that you were a burden to her when the exact words didn't come out of her own mouth?”

“She told me it wasn't her, I know that now. It was all Hicks, the same fucker that did this to me.” Miguel straightens in his seat, Riri flicks her eyes at his scar knowingly. “They're still lookin’ for her, I know it.”

“If they ever find you both, we have your back.” Riri clasps Hobie's shoulder. He holds her hand briefly before letting go with a thankful nod. “It's the least I can do.” Miguel agrees with a grunt and a pat on his gun.

“It's more than enough, Ri.”

You wave towards Hobie from the small stage, jumping down to walk past the crowd and to him. Hobie's heart feels a little bit lighter from the conversation, like a bullet taken out from his skin.

Miguel stands up, and then pats Hobie and Riri in the shoulder before putting his hat back on. His hazel eyes meet with yours for a second, you give him a polite smile as you navigate your way out of the jam-packed audience.

Miguel fixes his hat, eyes zeroing in on the ring around Hobie's finger. “Nice ring. You two tied the knot without inviting me and the rest of the gang?” You pause by the menu, acting like something caught your eye while you listen in. The saloon is noisy enough for his words to be muffled, but you understood it perfectly.

“Not really,” Hobie glances towards you for a second before flicking his eyes over at his ring that he keeps twisting and turning around his finger.

“Well you've got everything else covered. And I've seen the way you look at her. If that's not marriage, I don't know what is.” Miguel clasps Hobie's shoulder in a parting goodbye, his face is unreadable from where you are. Miguel leans in closer this time, hazel eyes staring into Hobie's soul. His expression turns serious, lips pursed into a thin line, whispering words that you couldn't hear from where you stood. “You gonna tell her all the things you've done to survive this place?”

Hobie stands up to greet you halfway. “Worse, she has seen it.” Miguel leaves, and Hobie holds your hand with a proud smile, but you can tell something happened while you were gone. He sees it, so he leads you back to the bar where Riri waits to tell you everything.

“Did he pay you back?”

“Nah, he didn't have the money on him.”

“What an asshole.” He laughs, not bothering to hide his affection for you in front of the whole saloon any longer.

—

You lean back, smiling at the lavender sunset before you. Hobie's hands are occupied with the reins, but he still finds the time to nuzzle his chin on your shoulder. A small act that has you grinning as you cup his cheek for a moment.

Riri's confession was a surprise to you, but after the shock ended, you couldn't help but let out a loud guffaw in the saloon. You stood out like a sore thumb whilst Hobie rubs your back from how much you were laughing. You even thanked Riri for what she did on Hobie's behalf, to which she sighed in relief from your reaction. If she didn't send that letter, you'd still be in that wretched place, you'd still be half dead, surviving but not living. The journey to Hobie was tough and marred with pain and bloodshed, and yet, you'd take that journey all over again if you knew that he'd be holding you like this once again; that he still loves you despite everything that has happened to him and to you. With a parting hug, and a promise that you'll visit again, you and Hobie set off back on the road towards home.

The route home is filled with an abundance of scenery. Fields of flowers and tall grass line the sides of the bumpy dirt road. Daisies, poppies and baby's breath are in full bloom, its colours bringing even more brightness to the land. Cows and horses graze all over, they look up at the sound of Bucky's hooves thudding against the soil.

Hobie gathers up the reins in one hand, arm holding on to your waist before bending down from his saddle. Buckeye still gallops away as you immediately try to get a hold of Hobie before he falls.

“What are you doing?!” You ask, voice shaky, eyes up front while he has his palm open, gathering flowers on the side of the road.

“Just hold onto me!” Numerous flowers gather in his hand, its petals are filled with dew, sweet smelling and colourful against his leather gloves. Some of the stems are broken from the motion of the galloping horse. But you don't mind as he sends you a wink while he's on the side like he's doing the most mundane thing.

Laughing, you help pull him up. He hands you the bundle of flowers from behind, lips brushing along the shell of your ear. “That'll be five bucks.”

You giggle, thumb brushing along one of its red petals. “That's expensive for a roadside bouquet.” Hiding your face behind the flowers, you take a whiff of the sweetness whilst you gaze behind you through your fluttering lashes. “I think you're swindeling me, cowboy.”

“Fine,” he dramatically sighs, earning a soft laugh from you. His viridescent eyes remind you of the clovers back home. “I'll give you a discount.”

“A kiss then?”

“I was goin' to say ‘three bucks’ but that works too.” His eyes are on the road, but he briefly gazes into yours with tenderness.

“I'll pay my dues then.” You crane your neck back as far as you can. With a hand running up behind his head, you push him gently to meet with your own for a quick peck. “There, all paid.”

Hobie grins, trying hard not to indulge more lest he crashes Bucky into a tree. “Nah, that was half.”

“Half?” You feign a scoff. “Fine, I'll give it to you in installments.” Your neck is starting to ache from the position, but you can't help but keep still when he even looks this good in this awkward angle.

Bucky slows down, you hear the rush of a body of water before you see it. Hobie clicks his tongue, Buck completely stops from the command. “I'll take it.”

“You're not gonna ask when I'll ‘pay’ you?”

Hobie places his hand around your throat, not clenching, nor digging in; no, he does it to gently straighten your neck to save you from a crick in your nape. You follow willingly, never have you felt this soft kind of grasp around your neck— it's been the opposite before this, before him.

The pads of Hobie's fingers rub along your nape, soothing the growing ache. “Surprise me.”

Your smile grows when you quickly look forward, you see a small dock in a shining lake that's surrounded by oak trees and cattails growing on the side. The water shimmers under the afterglow like diamonds laid upon silk.

Hobie raises his brows with a smile, you're sure he's patting himself on the back. He smoothly gets off his horse with a flourish. With his feet back on the ground, he holds your waist, waiting for you to push yourself off so he could help you down. As if you ever need it, but you sometimes like to be spoiled this way, especially if It's Hobie spoiling you with his affections.

You hold the bouquet against your chest while he looks up at you lovingly, not telling you to hurry up or attempt to yank you off. “They told me that you're so mashed. What does that even mean?”

“Who's they?”

“The band, they said and I quote, ‘that Hobie is properly mashed for you! We've never seen him look at someone like that unless—’” You pause, hands on his wrist, pushing yourself off as he guides you down on the ground carefully. You floated for a moment, you then tuck the flowers in Bucky's saddle bag for safe keeping.

“Unless what?”

You bite your lip to tamp down a laugh. “‘Unless you're one of Riri’s homemade chocolate cakes.’” Poking his chest, you playfully jab him while he has his hands up in mock surrender. “I knew you wanted that cake!”

“It was yours! And I've had it a thousand times before, love.” He grabs your wrists, stopping your poking to pull your hand over his neck so you'd hold him closer. Toe to toe, you close the gap even more by scooching closer.

You poke him with your chin on his clavicle. “And here I thought you were being nice.”

“I was,” Hobie utters against your lips, “don't worry, I ordered one for myself while you were playing on stage.”

You gasp in feigned offense. “You dare?!”

Nodding, Hobie pulls you closer by your wrist. “I dare.” He mocks teasingly.

“Guess I have to jump in the lake to let the waters wash away this betrayal.” Moving away, you walk backwards towards the dock while keeping an eye at him.

Hobie watches you go. The second he steps forward, you sprint away, giggling. Milkweeds and poppies brush along your legs as you run while stripping off your boots and jacket, you then throw it all behind you. The fabric hits Hobie's face, he hears a splash as he yanks it off, laughing with you. Stripping off his coat, belt and boots, he jumps in right after with a louder and bigger splash.

The water is colder than you expected when it hit your skin. But you suppose it's worth staying for a little while even if it means getting a cold. You wipe your face from the splash that hit you, shivering slightly and incredibly happy without a care for the rest of the world.

“Hobie?” You twist around, swimming in a circle to look for him.

Hobie doesn't resurface after his jump, your grin slowly turns into panic when you see bubbles rise up from where he jumped.

“Hobie!” You feel bile rise in your throat, panic and worry settling in your stomach. “Hob—!” You're suddenly lifted up, thighs perched on his shoulder with his head in between. “You ass—!” You see him give you a smirk before tossing you behind with a splash.

He once again lifts you up, by your waist this time. He's met with a glare from you, and he has the audacity to laugh at your face. You splash, wiggling and thrashing in his hold. “‘m sorry! I saw the opportunity!”

“Not funny! I thought you drowned!” Continuing to splash at his face, Hobie embraces you against his chest until you've tired yourself out. You manage to give him one last splash to his face before you gave up, and then you slouch against him.

“Good thing I taught you how to swim, huh?” He softly says, floating around the lake.

“Yeah,” you hide behind the crook of his neck, nose nudging his skin while you try to forget how your aunt reacted when you came home drenched and dripping on her carpets.

“You okay?” Hobie rubs in between your shoulders. “‘m sorry, I thought it was funny.”

You sniff from the cold, leaning away to meet with his eyes. “It was, just don't take too long to resurface.” Smiling, you wipe water droplets off his pierced eyebrow. “Remember the day you convinced me to let you teach me how to swim?”

“Yeah, I told you that you wouldn't be able to swim if the ship you're on capsizes.”

“It scared the shit out of me.”

“‘m sorry that scared you.”

“Stop apologizing,” you cup his jaw, feeling his stubble, “besides, we ended up here years later. It's a good ending.”

“Yeah, a good ending.” He fixes your blouse, laying the collar flat so the edge doesn't poke your eye out. Noticing your far off stare behind him, he imagines the worst. But when he turns, he sees a huge deer with large antlers drinking from the side of the lake. “Holy shit.” Hobie moves, but you stop him so he doesn't startle the deer.

It continues to drink calmly. A bush from the side shakes, Hobie almost went for his gun but he's proven wrong when a white tailed doe appears.

“She's gorgeous,” you whisper, hugging him from behind while you watch the doe drink next to the deer. “Do you think they know each other?”

“Maybe.” He doesn't believe his eyes, “maybe they're mates.”

You kiss his cold cheek. “You think so?”

With your hands intertwined with his own underwater, he pulls you closer until there's no space left in between. He once dreamed to be this close to you, now that he's skin to flesh with you, he will never let go. He'd rather be buried alive again rather than be apart with you.

The deer nudges the doe's head before they gallop away from the lake. Hobie sniffs, finger brushing along your ring. “Yeah, they are.”

—

The sun has fully set now, dark blue engulfing you with the night howling its cold breeze against your wet skin. The large oak tree behind you shields you from the harsh wind. It reminds you of the one back home where he carved both of your initials on the trunk. Hobie embraces you from behind, sharing his warmth while you two wait for the clothes on your back to dry before riding home. Bucky sleeps next to you, huffing in his sleep. The bonfire roars, warming you in its orange glow, flames dancing in your vision.

Hobie hasn't taken his fingers off your ring that he rolls around your finger since you sat down. His eyes stare at the fire, shoulders relaxed, yet his jaw is clenched. You think his body is acting on instinct, and is still getting used to the calm.

“You're quiet, I'm worried.” You say, head leaning on his chest, back slouched to look at him.

Hobie raises a brow, eyes glancing down at you before returning back to the fire. “‘m thinkin’.”

“That's a first,” you joke, squeezing his hand. He chuckles, pecking the top of your head once before sighing in your hair. “Okay, now I'm worried. What's wrong?”

“I was thinkin' that we're practically married.” Something flashes behind your eyes that he missed. “We've got the rings, the house, the love and everythin' else.” He can't let Miguel get to him, but he can't get his words out of his mind either. If that's not marriage, I don't know what is.

You give him a soft shaky smile, eyes glossy against the light of the bonfire. Cradling his face, he leans against your palm, placing a heavy kiss on your cool skin. A sob threatens to escape you, clawing at your chest to be let go. You don't let it.

“We kind of are, huh?” He asks, eyes closed while holding your hand against his lips.

“I–it's close.” You manage to choke out. “I suppose we are, Hobs.” Tears collect in your lashes, blurring him in your vision like water colours bleeding in together. “Are you afraid of it?” Of us? You fear waking up one day and finding his side of the bed empty except for a note addressed to you. It's irrational, you know it is.

“No,” he sniffs, “it's the opposite. My fear isn't anywhere near that.”

You blink to clear the tears, letting it fall without a sound. “What are you most afraid of, cowboy?”

Hobie opens his eyes and you're met with a sea of green, shining and glittering just like the lake near you. “You, you're what I'm most afraid of.” You turn to fully face him, body placed in between his legs that comfortably cage you in. You don't let him go even when he burrows his chin on the top of his chest. For a moment, he doesn't say a word, until he sniffs and returns to meet with your eyes. “Losin’ you, seein’ your blood stainin’ my hands.” He holds both of your hands in his own. “That's what I'm afraid of, not my own death, yours. Because I can't live another five years without you. Especially a life lived without you isn't a life well lived.”

You feel his love and all the ache he carried in those five years like never before. He doesn't want to lose the life he built with you here; he doesn't want to lose all the mornings with you, he doesn't want to sleep without you by his side. He doesn't want to lose you.

You never even thought for a moment that you deserve this kind of tenderness after all the hatred that was thrown at you like a hail of firestorm. And yet, here he is, he loves you, the kind of love that reverberates through your very bones and settles into your soul. You still don't think you deserve it, but who are you to deny such love, especially from him? You did not beg for this kind of love, nor prayed for it. It's not the kind of love that the fates or the universe have thrust upon you in a shower of meteors. It was gradual, it came in a trickle and then a wave. And when you two were finally on the same page— you love him with every single bone in your body— you love him intentionally and wholeheartedly.

Kneeling to level with him, hands holding his cheeks, you hope that your simple touch is enough to let him feel all the love and affection you have for the man before you.

With your forehead against his own, you softly utter the same three words you've been telling him every morning and and every night before bed. “I love you.” He nods, whispering the same words atop your lips like a mantra; a song that replays in his head over and over again. You kiss the corner of his lips before leaning away. “I–if that ever happens, I'll live for you. I'll bring back my blood inside me if I have to.” You wipe away his stray tear, “Just promise me you'll do the same.” You know that you won't be able to do anything if it does happen to you, nor he, if it happens to him. They're empty promises meant to fill the holes in your chests for comfort to hold onto— to help ease your minds throughout the night whilst he lays his head upon your chest at night.

The weight of the looming threat feels like a reality. As if someone laid a pillow to his sleeping face. Hobie takes you in his arms, embracing you; hand placed on the back of your head as if he's already trying to shield you from what he fears most.

The mere thought of you loving him so much that you'd defy death itself, and despite the blood underneath his nails has him tethering upon the precipice of paradise. Maybe that's all there is then, to be loved despite the blood staining his hands, and despite his gnashing teeth that could take your flesh if he so desires; that he'll never desire to do to you— It's enough for him to be with you, and for you to be with him until you're both old and frail, until you're both six feet under; behind the same house he made into a home for you.

He has everything to lose, and he'll raise hell itself if need be just to bring you back. *When they come for you, there won't be enough bullets in the world for him.

With determination in his eyes that fans the flames in his chest, he utters an impossible promise on your skin.

“I promise.”

You hug Hobie, hand splayed on his back while the other kneads at his nape. Opening your eyes, you see the same deer and doe on the other side of the lake, standing side by side peacefully with their reflections on the lake. The sounds of the night echo above the glimmering depths of the water. It all brings you hope despite the conversation, they won't find you, that's your hope. You get to stay here forever with him, that's your only wish in this world.

Amidst the swaying grass, and in his arms, you feel infinite. You finally feel like you exist with the gentle wind and the raging rivers. No more do you feel like you burn everyday, where there's ash in your mouth, embers hidden underneath your hands; living in a house built to be kindling in your all consuming flames of loneliness. Earthbound once more, alive again.

[witchy-jadda]

rott spoilers ahead

so i’ve given myself some time to think about everything and try to process it all and here are some of my thoughts on trollhunters: rise of the titans...

- straight off the bat, i loved the intro. opening with blinky telling the story of what happened up until this point was incredible. i would have loved if they had circled back to this though (i saw someone else say it should have been him telling the story to jim and claire’s kids and i loved that idea!)

- i also liked that they didn’t waste time at the start, instead they just jumped right into the action which was fun.

- honestly, i thought jim’s plotline throughout the movie where he basically thought he was useless without the amulet was just really not fun to watch. i understand why it was there and it played into the climax but i really did not find it one bit necessary seeing as i felt that we have grown beyond that. i felt it was overused. we’ve been there before and jim is aware that he’s the trollhunter, amulet or not.

- douxie being so soft with nari was genuinely one of the most heartwarming parts of the movie. i feel that we were really robbed of so much potential with douxie in this movie though. we didn’t see nearly enough of him. it seemed that the writers were picking and choosing when to remember how powerful he is. switching with nari and connecting to her are two examples of when they actually used his power, but aside from that they just disregarded it a lot.

- and speaking of forgetting how powerful people are... i’m genuinely so hurt and let down over what they did to claire. do they not realise how powerful she is? did they just forget about her character arc? it sure felt like it. she got to use her powers a few times (connecting to nari, portalling the titan, etc) but mostly it felt like she was saying she was spent and therefore unable to do anything. she is so strong and so powerful, and that’s just so empowering - especially for young girls. and then it kinda felt to me that rott was reducing her to basically nothing more than jim’s love interest.

- okay another quick note, it kinda felt to me that krel’s potential was also pretty wasted? he barely did anything and i just think he deserved more too.

- ew okay i don’t even want to think about it but i know i can’t discuss rott without talking about the mpreg thing. seriously, what the fuck was that? at first, i thought it was going to be a joke. i thought aja and krel were gonna wind steve up and see how far they could go with making him think he was pregnant just for a little bit of comic relief. but then he was actually pregnant. and so i laughed, because even though it was dumb it was kind of funny. weird and unexpected, but kind of funny. but by the time the movie was over it just didn’t sit right with me. looking past the fact that it was just more of them making steve’s character into a joke, i couldn’t see the logic in giving so much time to that subplot when other characters (claire, douxie) and other relationships (claire and douxie’s friendship) were sidelined. maybe if he had gotten a whole season the mpreg thing could have been included as comic relief or whatever, but with such limited time i really don’t see the point of wasting so much time on something so pointless. 

- speaking of steve, i need to talk about creepslayerz... they really deserved more :( like i get that eli literally helped steve through child birth and then named one after him which was lowkey adorable but i loved their friendship so much and i was really hoping to see more of them. i was kind of hoping they’d get to do more as well. look i gave up on hopes of a romance long ago (even though i still really wished it would happen) but i hoped that at least we’d see some more of their friendship.

* by this point my brain has decided to forget absolutely every point i wanted to make... cue the brain fog (we don’t like her) and allow me to take a moment to read back and try to find my point again *

- i don’t think i can stress enough how much i loved the visuals in this movie. holy fucking shit it was just phenomenal. like wow. the art was absolutely fantastic and i’m really hoping for another the art of... book because i love the art of trollhunters and i feel that they could do with updating it to include the newer stuff. but yep, the animation quality was incredible and i don’t have a bad thing to say about it because just wow.

- speaking of art... a moment of appreciation for character designs. just wow wow wow. we love to see such intricately designed villains. we love to see growth in our other much loved characters. and the locations too? fantastic. beautiful. amazing. loved it.

- another moment of appreciation for jim. the hair. the scars. the injuries. the winter jacket. the fact that he looked a little older.... loved it. loved it, loved it, loved it. i cannot wait to spend hours pouring over reference pictures to draw them all.

- and claire... her armor being weathered and worn. her eyes!! her hair looked great as always. i just love her...

- nari nari nari... my goodness, her magic is so beautiful. i wish we got to see more.

- also, the jlaire moments were very cute. their kisses? so soft. they literally love each other so much. i adore them.

- what happened to the babies from the darklands btw? is not enrique just chilling in the lake’s house with a ton of babies? 

- barbara deserved better. i would have liked to see her and strickler happy.

- on that note, why the actual fuck did they think a few explosives would win against magic?? literal ancient magic and these dumbasses were like huh i guess we should blow it up. i’m sorry, what?? y’all are stupid.

* currently trying to think of every possible point that isn’t to do with the ending because i really don’t want to think about that yet *

- the whole thing with archie and charlemagne felt super unnecessary. like usually characters sacrifice themselves and it’s like sad and you can see the reasoning and stuff. but they literally could have gotten out. i really did not vibe with that. it felt like they just did that to leave douxie with no one.

- that trollmarket was beautiful though.

- speaking of trollmarket... they really restored the heartstone just like that? are you joking? i was not impressed at all. the heartstone was dead and gone, could not be destroyed. did they just forget that? half the shit in wizards wouldn’t have happened if the heartstone could have been restored. very pissed off by that. it was dead, that was it.

- okay back to jim... love that he pulled the sword from the stone. it was cute that it was a group effort, kinda would have preferred if it was just him but that’s just a me thing. and maybe me and my daylight tattoo are biased here, but excalibur is not half as pretty as daylight.

- not gonna lie, jim yelling come on trollhunters! kinda got me. i was very emotional watching this.

- i think the most in character jim moment of the whole movie was when he dropped excalibur, he didn’t have his armor, he was all alone and he decided to make a fist and fight the wizard/god with literally no weapon or means of defence. i don’t think y’all understand how much i love this dumb self sacrificing selfless boy. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, he is literally one of my most favourite characters of all time. i love him with all my heart.

- the armor!! wow wow wow. that was a fucking cool scene. beautiful.

- jim getting stabbed or whatever with that fucking spear thing nearly killed me.

- okay here goes... toby. my sweet toby. jim and toby’s friendship is one of my absolute favourites ever. my goodness. and toby getting in the van and going to save jim was incredible and such a toby thing to do. of course he would think of doing that.

- but like seriously... claire and douxie are so fucking powerful and they were both just like lol i guess we can’t do anything to help jim? i’m sorry what?? don’t tell me that claire wouldn’t go full on black and purple eyes and get herself up their to him. i just... i’m so bothered by the fact that they were sidelined y’all :|

- also, do not seriously try to tell me that aaarrrgghh!!! would let toby go on his own. he would have went with him. he would have followed him.

- literally as jim was falling the first thing that went through my mind was oh aaarrrgghh!!! is gonna run up and catch him.

- and while we’re on the topic of aaarrrgghh!!! why tf did they have such a build up that something was going to happen to either him or blinky for literally no reason? wtf

- aaarrrgghh!!! would not have let toby go alone!!! if he had been there, he would have protected toby, he would have saved him and none of that mess of an ending would have happened.

* ugh here’s the bit i was dreading... the ending *

- first off, i am choosing to ignore it.

- time stone? really? we’re... we’re gonna do this? literally one of the most original things i have ever watched is now - at the literal last possible minute - rip off another movie?? really?? whyyyy???

- i literally cannot express how much i hated it. it was so fucking unnecessary.

- he didn’t need to go back that far!!!

- i’m actually trying to block this out but i suppose i have to at least touch on it. jim would never ever put that burden on to toby. he just wouldn’t. before even looking at all of the other issues with toby getting the amulet, i need to say that. it just wouldn’t happen. he struggled so much with being the trollhunter, he wouldn’t put that on toby. 

- also toby literally never wanted to be the trollhunter?? he never wanted the amulet? he wanted to be a duke and have his war hammer and go on adventures with his best friend and his wingman and eat mexican food.

- okay so um i guess they all just forgot about unbecoming? cool cool cool.

- seriously though, was it not established many times that jim literally had to be trollhunter? and if he wasn’t it would be draal and everything would go to shit? did they just forget about that??

- having jim just decide to give toby the amulet literally takes away from the entire meaning behind jim getting the amulet and becoming the trollhunter. the amulet chose jim. merlin chose him. out of all of the creatures in the world, it had to be jim. he can’t just give that to toby!!

- and as much as i love toby, he would not last a day as trollhunter.

- and that’s not even beginning to mention all that jim erased by not becoming trollhunter. no father son relationship between him and blinky. they didn’t stop steve from picking on eli so no steve redemption and no creepslayerz. is he just going to allow enrique to be taken? toby will not have the same incentive to go into the darklands to save him if that’s the case. strickler will not show any sort of sentiment towards toby either. and then the big one...

- IS THAT FUCKER REALLY GOING TO ALLOW CLAIRE TO NOT GET HER POWERS??? WHAT???

- if jim isn’t trollhunter and the whole thing with enrique doesn’t happen then claire will never get her shadowstaff. let’s be real, strickler probably wouldn’t even need angor rot with toby as trollhunter. somehow i can’t see him making it that far...

- if claire doesn’t have her shadow staff then the whole thing with morgana won’t happen. she won’t destroy the shadow staff and then she will never develop her powers. would jim really rob her of that?

- okay i can’t do anymore, it’s too much for me now...

- i touched on this already in a separate post but i gotta say it again... i did not enjoy the destiny is a gift bit at the end. first of all, jim having toby find the amulet literally takes the meaning of that speech and his destiny away instanty. and second, i just could not stand hearing emile hirsch say the words that belonged to anton yelchin. it was just uncomfortable.

aaand i think i’m done. maybe i’ll have more later but i have a headache now from all of this.

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE EIGHT THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE TORE ME TO SHREDS & IT’S VISUALLY MY FAVORITE EPISODE.

hayward fucking lied | that manipulative weasel tried to pin all this on wanda to make her look like the bad guy and at the end she did absolutely nothing wrong except maybe cost them new windows. i believe hayward knew that wanda was going to be the power source to bring vision back to life. he hinted at it and i think he tried to push her at SWORD headquarters. when the hex happened, he put the missile on the drone knowing damn well wanda would stop it. he knew that after he detected that she created a copy of vision within the hex, she was the key to completing their rebuilding of vision. overall, my hatred for the man has reached a new level and i hope he dies at the end of the series.

white vision | obviously referring to project catarract that darcy found in SWORD’s hardrive. when i said i wanted white vision to appear, i didn’t mean this way and i’ve seen some theories floating around that maybe james spader will voice this vision? and if this is the big secret actor paul has been saying he’s going to work with — i will laugh and cry because i am one of those who was thinking we’d get an x-men cameo with either professor x or magneto and i’m gonna hold out hope. if it is just vision vs. vision, i don’t doubt i’ll love it. so excited to see this vision though it’ll hurt to see vision battle wanda since this whole episode just showed us how much they loved each other.

wanda and vision’s relationship | we got to see a very sweet and deep moment between the two in the avengers compounds after age of ultron. when i tell you i damn near cried into my pillow, it made my heart ache. they really are fucking soulmates. i didn’t originally care for the couple but this show really showcased how despite being the pairing of a witch and an android, there is still so much LOVE between these two. i broke when i saw the deed to the lot and vision’s note of growing old together. excuse me marvel i didn’t ask to be emotionally obliterated, thanks.

wanda’s chaos magic | clearly, we see that wanda is responsible for the creation of the hex. i think she didn’t purposely block out her creating the hex. when she said she doesn’t know how it happened, she truly doesn’t. we’ve seen her lose control once and that was after the death of pietro but it wasn’t as strong before. i believe she just blacked out a bit since she hasn’t used that much of her power before. i think with literally no one (where tf was clint? the avengers?? literally anyone????) there to help her grieve and basically keep her grounded, the wave, referring to her powers, did drown her this time and consumed her into this escapist reality where she no longer felt that pain.

wanda & sitcoms | now we learn why the show has been in the style of various television sitcoms. she’s grown up with them since she was a little girl in sokovia - her favorite being the dick van dyke show. hello i’m soft af. even when her parents were killed and she was practically at death’s door with pietro, television was there to help her get through it. in the HYDRA base, wanda still has a television to watch and help her through the days. what this episode told us is that television is wanda’s constant. i mean this in the sense that unlike people, television has always been there for her. wanda has not had a consistent group of people around her. it’s a revolving door when it comes to the people in wanda’s life. we see her alone and almost abandoned when we see how the creation of the hex happened. television is her escape which is what television provides for everyone. that’s the purpose of television shows - give you an escape from your life because in shows like the ones that have influenced wanda’s reality, they always turn out fine by the end of the episode.

agatha’s therapy | throughout this whole thing agatha is sort of giving wanda much needed therapy even if the end goal is not in wanda’s best interest. she mentions very quick about wanda being a young witch which could coincide with the idea that wanda’s always had this sort of gene in her like pietro and other mutants (if they’re going to use her to confirm the existence of the x-gene which im dying for tbh). she has a clue from the get go as to what wanda is but until she has the full picture, she doesn’t reveal it until the end of the episode. she confirms that ‘fietro’ came from a necromancy spell sooo does that mean she’s using a dead body? he was her eyes and ears but of course, wanda didn’t give up much and that plan was foiled.

wanda resurrecting vision | we learn that wanda never stole vision and brought him back to life. because she and vision are both born from the mind stone, it’s not shocking as to her practically using the chaos magic to create a vision for herself. it also explains why vision can’t live outside the hex - he was born from it and without the chaos magic, he’ll die. also, it’s peppered throughout the episode that the two are soulmates so there’s that aspect to it as well. so she hasn’t been puppeteering a corpse - that image of dead vision stems from wanda’s trauma and mentality starting to chip away at her reality. it also proves how fucking powerful this woman is because like agatha said, she’s supposed to be a thing of myth. while she did use her magic to create/resurrect vision, he’s still his own being in a sense - she doesn’t control him completely. he has his own thoughts and perceptions. he’s aware and the fact that something of wanda’s creation can do that really just showcases the power she holds in her.

agatha’s backstory | seems that agatha’s pretty smug when she’s confronted by her coven leader. it’s pretty easy to see through (in my opinion) the pleading to her mother and the rest of her coven. also kathryn hahn is simply eating up this fucking role and i’m here for it. now we learn why she has the broach, it’s her mother’s which is sweet but seeing agatha throughout the series and in the past, seems more of a token of practically massacring her coven that day. i liked seeing that snippet of her past and it seems like she’s always been drawn to the darker and more sinister side of witchcraft.

wanda’s power | as agatha comments at the end, wanda truly doesn’t know how dangerous she can be. wanda can barely remember how the hell the westview hex happened. while yes i’m here for wanda being shown and known as the most powerful being in the mcu, it’s also worth noting that she is dangerous. at the beginning of the episode, agatha rubs her nose in about how simple a protection spell is or how she studied to get her powers to where they are today. wanda doesn’t know anything about witchcraft or spells. yes, she gained powers from the infinity stone but she was made to be a weapon and even after being brought into the avengers, she wasn’t taught magic or how to tap into her chaos magic. she didn’t even know that her power was considered magic. i also think wanda’s powers are very much rooted in her emotions. we saw what she could do in age of ultron when she felt her twin die. wanda is powerful but so dangerous in this aspect. not saying that this is a bad thing but it separates wanda from other magic users like agatha, dr. strange and even loki. agatha has had years of knowledge and training to be as powerful as she is now. what separates wanda from the others is that she doesn’t have the control and mastery like them. she didn’t know that her powers could make another vision or alter the reality of a town populated by 3,000+ people. agatha is right, wanda is dangerous because she hasn’t had years to control the power she holds at her fingertips.

[rosyrosethings]

Harry and Y/n take a road trip.

Y/N IS A DARK SKINNED BLACK WOMEN. If you have a problem don't read it then. This has smut and Y/n is top energy (dominate over Harry.)

Y/n and her friends had been planning this road road trip all year! They were planning on going from Michigan to Florida to Texas to California. Everyone was excited to be going on this trip with their friends considering that they have seen each other recently since school, but it was Summer break and they always spent their summers together and this summer they were going on a road trip together

Y/n walked outside of her house seeing her boyfriend Kevin putting stuff in the trunk. Luke in the backseats of the car with Neik. Luke and neik weren’t dating but you could tell they were in love with one another. Harry and Lauren making out on the front of his car. She scrunched her nose at the eighth of them stuffing there tongues down each other’s throats.

“Ya know when I introduced you to my neighbor Harry. I didn’t think you were gonna treat him like a pudding cup.” Y/n said to her friend Lauren. Lauren pulled away from Harry’s mouth.

“Well, when you became my best friend. I didn’t plan on you fucking my brother every Tuesday but yet you do. So we are even.” Lauren responded. Y/n laughed

“You’re right. But Harry if you ever need help because you can’t breathe because all of her tongues being shoved down her throat. I’m right next door just throw a rock at my window I’d save you.” She said as she placed his shoulder. He laughed

“Okay everyone let’s get on the road!!

They were all driving. Harry behind Kevin. Harry was having a hard time keeping up with Kevin. So we pulled over. Because Lauren was probably distracting Harry because they both act like they can’t keep their hands off each other for one second. So there they all were on the side of the road debating who’s gonna switch with Lauren.

“Okay. So Neik can you switch with Lauren?”

“No me and Luke have been watching movies and I rather not leave because well Luke has the movies and this car has WiFi.” She said as she got back into the backseat of the car.

“I’m with Neik,” Luke said following her into the car.

“Okay how about I’d switch with Lauren. And you Lauren can sit up here with her brother.” Y/n said, referring to Kevin. Lauren and Kevin are twins brother and sister.

“But Baby I will miss you,” Kevin said as he kissed her cheek. She smiled

“It’s fine babe. I can make sure Harry doesn’t get lost and you can keep your sister from distracting Harry and besides Harry's mouth needs a break. So c’mon harry!” She said as she grabbed Harry’s hand. Leading him back to the car.

“Be kind to my Harry!” Lauren yelled.

//

Y/n and Harry’ drove quietly. Y/n Looked over at him.

“Harry tell me how’s life?” As she turned over and looked at him.

“Ya know, just living life.

“Do you still draw pictures?”

“Of course I do, Lauren hates it tho. She says I spend too much time drawing and not with her.” He said with a sigh.

“I understand, Kevin never lets me do anything if he doesn’t know where I am he goes crazy. Because his last girlfriend cheated.” She said,

“But your art is way too beautiful to stop. When I use to come over before you started dating Lauren. I love seeing all your art around.” He quickly glanced at her with a smile.

“I have my sketchbook maybe you can look at it later if you want.”

“I’d love too.” She responded.

They enjoyed each other’s company. Y/n asking stupid pointless questions. Him laughing at all of her stupid questions.

“Would you rather kick the feet of a barefoot homeless man orrr ...” she paused as she thought about the next thing she was gonna say.

“Or kiss Kevin.”

“I rather kiss my girlfriend's brother.”

“Hmm, good choice Kevin is a pretty decent kisser.”

“Pretty decent ?” he questioned

“Idk he does this thing where his tongue stabs mine. It’s weird.” Harry burst into laughter.

“And it is better if we didn’t have to sneak around all the time.”

“Sneak?”

“His parents don’t know we are dating and we’ve dating each for 3 years.” She said as she looked out the window. Kevin still stayed with his parents so whenever Y/n went over she had to say she was over to see Lauren.

“Why is that?”

“Well because I’m black and he’s white.” She said sadly. “I don’t know sometimes it feels like he’s ashamed of me..” She whispered quietly but since no music was playing Harry heard her clearly. Harry's face scrunched up. His hand tightens on the wheel.

“What does he do?”

“He says stuff..like you should straighten your hair..or that you should stay out the sun you don’t wanna get too black.. it just always little things.” Now Harry was pissed.. how could he say those things to someone like Y/n. He thought she was amazing. Her skin tone was even more amazing.

“Y/n you really don’t deserve that asshole as a boyfriend. I never really was a big fan of his in the first place. He’s always so protective of you but to know that he’s saying those things to you. Just makes me want to punch him in the face.” Harry said, Y/n kinda smiled. It felt nice since Harry cared. Y/n and Harry use to be a lot closer before he started dating Lauren. Since Harry was her neighbor. They use to talk all the time especially since their bedroom windows were right across from each other. Harry used to have a huge crush on her. He still kinda does. But then Y/n sat him up with Lauren about 6months ago and him Lauren has been sat for about 4 months.

Y/n reached over and kissed his cheek.

“You’ve always been so sweet to me Harry.” Harry’s face immediately lit up red. She giggled “you’re so cute.”

They continued to enjoy each other’s company. Y/n ended up dosing off while Harry continued to drive. He didn’t use GPS he thought he’d follow Kevin. But he’s been following the wrong car the entire time. They’ve been driving for hours. He realized that they were supposed to stop in Georgia and he saw a sign that said, West Virginia. So he was lost.

Y/n woke up and looked over at Harry. It was now dark outside.. so she thought they were arriving at their first destination. She could tell by Harry’s facial expression that something was wrong. But her phone started to ring.

“Hey, guys where are you? We are in Georgia and we realized you guys were not behind us.” Kevin asked, y/n bit her lip.

“Yea me and Harry are lost,” she said, Kevin was about to lose it.

“How tf did you guys get lost?”

“I don’t know maybe all my talking.” She shrugged. She did really stress it too much. Kevin kept going on about how we need to use the GPS to drove to Georgia right now. Y/n sighed and looked at a tired driving Harry. “Look Harry’s been driving and he’s tired and I’m too scared to drive at night soo we are gonna find a rest stop to sleep and continue driving tomorrow.” She said firmly. Kevin wanted to drive to her but he didn’t know where they were. He didn’t like her solution but there is no way to change her mind.

“Fine. Just be safe baby. I love you.”

“Love you too bye.” She said as she hung up the phone.

“I’m sorry I got us lost,” he said as he took an exit for a rest stop or gas station.

“It’s fine I don’t mind. And I brought blankets and snacks in my backpack. So we could sleep in the back seat of your car.” Harry’s face got red immediately. Sleep in the back seat with Y/n? The thought was making him blush like crazy.

“You’re blushing? You don’t have to sleep in the back with me if you don’t wanna..”

“No! No!! I want to.” He said eagerly. She laughed. They pulled up to the rest station. Y/n climbed into the back seat of Harry’s truck and Harry got out the car and went into the back.

“I only have one blanket. Hope you don’t mind sharing.” She said as she opens her book bag pulling out the blanket she got closer to Harry as she put the blanket over them.

“No, I don’t mind.” Harry looked over at her skin as out the blanket over them. He noticed that she was wearing a bra. He saw her collar bone. He wanted to kiss it so badly. He had a thing for collar bone and her brown skin.

“You’re skin is so beautiful.” He blurted out. Shit. He didn’t mean to say that.

“Thank you, Harry. You’re very beautiful.” He blushed and mumbled a thank you. They continued to talk and She pulled out a few snacks and a bag of chips and a bottle of liquor.

“I brought this to celebrate our first stop but now it’s just me and you. So I’m gonna drink some. Do you want some?” Harry shrugged and she opens the bottle with pop and took a swig right out the bottle handing it to Harry. He did the same. They drunk it until half of the bottle was gone. Harry didn’t really feel much of the liquor but Y/n on the other hand who was a major lightweight she was definitely feeling it. She laughing at everything Harry said.

“Have you had too much to drink?” He asked as he laughed at her. Y/n laid her back against the car door and laid her legs across Harry’s lap. Her longs legs were laying across him. Harry grabbed her feet with his hand. Not bothering to answer his questions.

“Wow, you made yourself comfortable. What if I hated feet?” He said as he swung her feet back and forth. She giggled.

“Well if you do hate feet. You’re the one who grabbed it with your hand. Soo you must have some kind of feet fetish.” She laughed and he rolled his eyes.

“Well, I guess you gave pretty nice feet.”

“Okay, Harry lets play 20 questions!” She said cheerfully as she sat up in her knees. Her faces close to Harry’s. Harry bit his lip and nodded.wheneve he thought about this game. It always leads to sexual things. But Y/n knew what she doing. Harry just always looked so good. In his tank tops and all his tattoos showing. She saw him staring at her. She knew Harry wanted her and her also. She shouldn’t because well she had a boy and He has a girlfriend. But no one ever treated her how Harry did and she wanted him so bad. She’s wanted him for years.

“Favorite tv show?” He asked

“That’s hard I watch a lot of tv. Probably the office.”

“What’s your favorite movie?” She asked,

“Probably.. die hard.” Y/n laughed at his response.

“Diehard? So you're a tough guy.”

He gave her a side smile. “I try to be.”

“What about you? What’s your favorite movie?” He asked

“If I tell you. You’re gonna laugh at me.”

“I’m not I promise.”

“It’s 50 shades of grey.” She said, looking at him right in the eye. Harry face lit up red again.

“I actually never saw that movie... but I know what happens.” He says, he looked down at his hands. Y/n always knew Harry was shy. But he was so cute it was fun to embarrass him.

“Yea it’s a lot of fucking in that movie. But I enjoy it.” He didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say. He was a little nervous. ‘What is this girl doing to me?’ He thought time himself.

“Do you like sex, Harry?”

“Y-yes.” He answered a bit nervous. She pouted out her bottom lip. Harry didn’t even look up at her. She placed her hand under his chin and turned his face towards her.

“Am I making you nervous?” She asked. If Harry's face got any redder it was going to explode. “If you wanna stop playing this game. We could.”

“No, not at all. We could keep going.”

“Well, aren’t you gonna ask me a question?” She said as her face got closer to his. Harry had to take control he wanted to do this. He wants her so badly for so long.

“What turns you on?” He asked,

“Tattoos.” She whispered. Knowing he had tattoos all over him. Kevin didn’t have any. So she had to be talking about him.

“I have tattoos.” He said, she smiled and looked down at his arm. Her finger started to trace the tattoos on his arms. His other arms have the most tattoos. She crawled over his lap. Now straddling him. Harry's breath hitched he didn’t know what to do or what to say. Her fingers tracing up his other are to his collar bone.

“You turn me on.” He said. She smiled in response.

“Do I?” She said as she kissed his cheek. And his other cheek. Harry was getting hard. He knew she could feel it.

“If you want me to stop. Say stop.” She whispered. But he didn’t want her to stop he’s dreamt of this moment since he met her. She continued to kiss the corner of his mouth followed by the other corner. She kissed his lips as soon as her lips touched his. He took his hands and placed them on her hips. His lips moving against hers eagerly wanting to put his tongue in her mouth. She parted her lips slightly for his tongue and Harry didn’t waste any time sliding his tongue in her mouth. She started to grind her hips on his dick. He let out a little moan. She couldn’t help but smile at how excited he was.

“I’ve wanted you since the day I met you.” She moved to the side of him. She took off her tank top and her and her shorts and her panties. Harry followed suit. Taking off his joggers and his take top. Y/n got on her knees with her ass in the air. Her head down by Harry’s lap she hooked her fingers around the band of her briefs pulling them down till his cock popped out smacking against his stomach. Harry was in disbelief about how she looked. She placed her hand on his dick stroking it softly and she kissed the tip of his dick. Harry thought he was gonna cum any moment but he held it back as he watched her intensely. She looked at him through the corner of her eye as she started to stroke him faster. He threw his head back in pleasure. She slid his tip in her mouth and swirled her tongue all around it.

“Fuckk Y/n. Please stop being a tease.” She didn’t respond she just decided to deep throat him instead. She shoved all of his big cock down her throat. Harry continued to moan her name. As she started bobbing her head up and down and using her hand to jack him off. The sloppy noises and the moans she let out we’re getting him closer and closer.

“Fuck Y/n. I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum.” He moaned out. She didn’t stop though. She kept sucking and shoving all of his dick deep inside of her mouth. She pulled away from his dick and continued to jack him off.

“Come for me, baby. Cum right In my mouth.” She said and she licked up the shaft of his dick and putting the tip of his big juicing cock right back in her mouth. Harry couldn’t take it he tried to hold back he felt as if he was cumming to quickly but she so good at this. He ejected into her mouth and she swallowed every bit of him. She pulled away still jacking him off. She looked over at Harry who head was against the seat he looked exhausted. The pleasure of cumming and her still rubbing his cock was too much. He couldn’t even talk. She leaned up against his ear.

“We aren’t done yet, baby. I want you deep inside of this pussy baby.” She said and kissed his ear lobe. Then she straddled his lap and position his dick at the right at her entrance and she slowly let herself down. Both of the moaning loudly. Harry was exhausted but yet he was still hard and she felt so good around him. He placed his hand on her hips. She bounced up and down on his cock. He got so so good inside her. Kevin wasn’t nearly as big as Harry was and Kevin never gave her an orgasm (Kevin was the only guy she’s been with.) this was a whole new world for her.

“Do you like me bouncing up and down on your dick baby?” She asked Harry was too focused on her boobs bouncing up and down in front of him and the contrast of her dark skin bouncing on his white cock.

“I asked you a question.” She said, she grabbed his chin making him look her in the eye. The bossy ness was turning him on more and more. He loved her dominance. He loved to see her take control. He nodded his “yes, I love it.”

“Good boy.” She said and she started to bounce faster and faster. He lost it when she said that he had to cum again.

“I’m gonna cum.” He mumbled. Y/n was on the pill so she had nothing to worry about.

“Cum baby. I’m close too.” She said she bounced faster. Feeling close to her climax. She let out a loud moan as she road Harry as she slowed down at the height of her climax. Harry came inside of her. He laid there unable to move. Y/n got his lap back to sitting at her side. Her tired too. But the orgasm feeling was amazing.

“Did you like that?” She asked Harry could barely keep his eyes open. He looked at her. That was the first time he ever came back to back.

“You’re so fucking amazing.” He said well more of a mumble.

“So are you.” Maybe she should tell him. He gave her his first orgasm but she didn’t. She helped Harry pulled up Harry’s briefs and took a deep breath laying her head on his shoulder. They both laid their weeks until both of them fell asleep.

Y/n woke up dressed in her clothes. With the blanket over her. Laying in the back seat of Harry’s truck. Harry in the driver seat. Driving. She sat up. Immediately regretting it. She was hungover. She closed her eyes. Realizing it was too bright outside. She placed her hand on her head. Followed by a groan.

“Rise and shine sleepyhead,” Harry said, the thought of last night still gracing his memory. His dick still limp and tired from last night.

“Ugh, Harry. How much did I drink last night?”

“Well, considering you were lightweight. You drank probably 1/4 of the bottle and you were drunk off your ass.” He said with a laugh. She tried to think of last night. Memories of her and Harry. She sucked his dick and rode him. Her eyes grew wide she made eye contact with Harry through his rearview mirror. They both know what she was thinking.

“I had my first orgasm last night.” She said lowly. Harry's eyes grew wide. “We had sex... I’m sorry. I’m soo sorry. I get really horny when I drink. We were both drunk-.”

“I wasn’t drunk. I was basically sober.”

“Harry we can't tell anyone. This is our secret. We can’t tell anyone.”

“Y/n can we just talk about it first?”

“No Harry there isn’t anything to talk about nothing happened.”

“Y/n.”

“No.”

They sat the rest of the ride in silence. Awkward silence. Both of them having the best sex they did ever. Harry who crush on Y/n seems to go bigger and Y/n wanted Harry way more. It was her first orgasm and she wanted him against and again. But Y/n refused to talk to him. Once they arrived at the gas station the other guys were at. Y/n quickly got out of the car and was greeted quickly by Kevin with his mouth. She didn’t kiss back she just kissed him slightly. Harry watched as he got out of the car. His jaw tensing up. But he could tell that she wasn’t really interested in kissing him. But his thought was interrupted by Lauren jumping on him kissing him deeply.

“Aww, baby I missed you soo much. “ She said as she kissed all over and around his face. He had to figure out how to talk to Y/n alone.

Y/n looked over at him while Lauren was kissing all over him. She rolled her eyes and looked back at Kevin who was lecturing her about getting lost. She sighed. Why didn’t she feel bad for cheating on him? Why does she want to do it again? She feels worse for Lauren than she does him. But her body was craving Harry and Harry was craving her.

“Okay Lovers!! Enough kissing. We need to get going so we could go camping in Miami!” Luke yelled. Everyone got in there cars this time Lauren, Y/n, and Niek in one car and all the boys in another car. Harry and Y/n both thinking about each other for the rest of the ride. Neither of them knowing what to do.

[teetlesandnimjas]

It’s 4 in the morning. Want a monologue of me watching the TMNT 2014 Bay Movie? Of course you do. I hate this so much

I watch the god awful TMNT 2014 movie- a monologue. If you find this, I’m sorry.

Oh the intro’s wicked. It’s like 2d and shit and the detail

Oh wtf is that the character models??? Wait are we gonna see them or???

Who’s this bitch? Is that supposed to be April?

Oh fuck she’s played by Megan Fox. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE APRIL BE PLAYED BY MEGAN FOX???

Oh oh wow okay so there’s an Asian girl with multicolor hair and she’s evil. I love her, how could I not.

Will say- cinematography is good. I feel sorta immersed and shit. And it’s also like really interesting

Okay so she followed them to a subway... and got taken hostage by the Asian lady. Who’s the Asian lady again??? Who are you??? You’re hot that’s all I know

Okay how tf they gonna ninja this shit it’s completely illuminated?

“All aboard” Oh so these motherfuckers riding the train oh the lights went out oh that makes sense

Oh this is a cool shot. Almost makes up for MeGAN FUCKING FOX WHY???

Oh these motherfuckers are so loud- you can hear them from the street while they’re on a rooftop while also in fucking NEW YORK?? How???

Dumbasses

“He’s doing his Batman voice” “I only watched Batman once” heh funny Batman crossover reference because that was a thing

Y’all these motherfuckers terrifying wtf

“She’s looking at us like we’re freaks” bitch IM LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOUR FREAKS WTF ARE THESE CHARACTER MODELS

Ew I hate it I HATE IT

THEY HAVE T E E T H??? AND N O S E S??? This is CGI you didn’t HAVE TO DO THIS WTF

Is this motion capture? This is motion capture isnt it? Well I guess that explain the... yknow this whole situation

God the adult jokes wtf is this rated

Idk what this is rated but I am uncomfortable wow

OOP OKAY ANOTHER COOL SHOT WOW

Oh so they snuck out

Shit man Splinter is ugly but got skills

“Uh- I forgot to sanitize my retainer” Your WHAT? Okay I wheezed not gonna lie. But only because my brain like immediately went “your WHAT?” Like that one meme of the blonde lady yeah that and it made me laugh idk

The fucks a oh shit okay

Pft okay who’s gonna say fuck first? Someone’s gonna say fuck. My bets on Mikey.

It’s PG-13, right? So they can say fuck at most once. So who’s gonna say it? It’s a Bay movie cmon who’s gonna say fuck.

My life would not be rated PG-13

They were her PETS AS A CHILD??? I’m very close to nope-ing the fuck outta here

Project Renaissance? Fuck off this is too detail I just wanna see people get punched. That’s all Bay movies are good at anyways

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH MEGAN FOX SHE APPEARS MORE IN THIS MOVIE THEN THE GOD DAMN NAME SAKE DO

Dumbass

They KIDNAPPED MEGAN FOX

Cool boom box wall. Motherfuckers have a boom box wall. Like it’s a wall... entirely made out of boom boxes. It’s cool but W H Y who would have the time to MAKE THIS??? DID THEY STEAL ALL OF THIS??

UUUUUGH more flash backs this is bullshit STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE GOVERNMENT INVOLVED

lol drugs

RAT MAN

Oh my god this backstory

SPLINTER IS SO UNIMPORTANT IN THIS BULLSHIT LIKE HE’S NOT EVEN A TRAINED NINJA??? FUCK OFF. He’s so ugly tho holy shit

OOOOOH finally more fighting

Shredder looks wicked oh my god

WOW OH MY GOD I LOVE SHREDDER BUT THIS BACKSTORY

Bullshit

Oh they blew shit up nice

God the product placement

Oh my god this is bullshit

This bitch again fuck I don’t even know his name

Impatient bitch

Oh NOW WE’RE BRINGING IN THE MUTAGEN. TOOK A W H I L E

bitch

Oh you’re ugly I hope you die you old greedy man

Okay boomer

Classic “Villain gives away their whole scheme” LILE dude I spaced out what??

Fancy mansion oooooooh

HE NUST BROKE THROUGU THE VAN

S H R E D D E R OH FUCK

dumb bitches

Lol adrenaline drugs

Wow dumb bitches

THEYRE B U L L E T P R O O F???

Heeeeey got Asian girl is back

Again with the cinematography that’s too good to be in this train wreck dumpster fire of a movie wtf why is this

B A Z O O K A ????

OKAY NO MORE BAZOOKA WHY???

More cool shots wow

Ass shot of Megan Fox. Because.

THESE FUCKERS CAUSED AN A V A L AN CHE

You guys are so fucking stupid but I’ll be damned if this isn’t a cool scene wow

Okay that’s pretty cool he just flipped a car through the air fuck yeah you go my boy

Fuck did I really just say my boy about this shit no stop fucking hell iM NOT GETTING ATTACHED STOP

This bitch just stuck her whole body out a window in the middle of a chase scene WITH AN AVALANCHE WTF MEGAN

I’m not calling her April, this is not April. This is a husk, a shell devoid of personality other than being moderately attractive and plain. Her entire character is based around reacting to shit.

Oh god no wonder the people who like this are horny teen girls tHATS WHY THEY HIRED MEGAN FOX OH MY GOD BECAUSE ITS OH MY GOD I GET IT ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DO FOR THOSE ANIMES WITH THE GUYS BEING COMPLETELY BASIC SO THE VEIWER CAN PUT THEMSELVES ON THE CHARACTER OHHHHHH yeah that’s bullshit

Drop off??? Shit man

OH HE FUCKING DIED

OH HES NOT FUCKING DEAD OKAY

I don’t care about the other fuckers

Haahahshshshshwb big hands tiny keyboard

AgAIN WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY WTF ITS SO GOOD

y’all need a nap stfu

Oh fuck they’re gonna poison New York.

OH HE MURDERED THE F A T H E R

OH AGAIN WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AJSJSJSJSSJSJ ITS SO GOOD

Wow

OKAY THE BO STAFF LIKE POPPED OUT OF THE SCREEN I WOW I JUST WOW OKAY THIS CINEMATOGRAPHY THIS IS SO GOOD but everything else is awful

Bullshit

S W O R D S? JUST SLICE THROUGH THE TOWER??? O K A Y???

Oh fuck y’all about to fall to your death. He’ll yeah. DiE MEGAN F O X

Oh that’s right we have emotions. Wow.

Bullshit.

B U L L. S H I T.

They should NOT HAVE SURVIVED THAT THAT WAS THOUSANDS OF FEET. YOU WOULDVE BEEN CRUSHED.

Cool van.

NSJSJSJSJAJ V I C T O R I A S E C R E T A D? WTF???

And that’s it. Wow. Awful outro. Imma go vomit now. It’s 4 AM OH MY GOD

[songsorter28]

Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be. 

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng  boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices: 

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez. 

Now, on a more personal note. 

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong). 

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg). 

Wow, that was long. At essence, it  was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that  I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single. 

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d)  My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

[purplesurveys]

816

Gonna do a before and after of one of the first surveys I took when I was FOURTEEN. Fucking wild that I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade. Kinda my way of celebrating the fact that I’ve just been reunited with my old blog, which Tumblr has apparently changed the URL of. Baffled by the move but still stoked, and @a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse​ is absolutely the coolest person for being able to find it haha. Let’s gooooo 1. Are you registered to vote? No. I still have 3 years to go. < That’s so precious. I’ve been a voter for four years now. I registered the second I turned 18 and I remember being very excited to make it to the presidential elections because only a handful of people from my high school batch were 18 by the time of the elections. 2. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? Only when I’m counting down for something. < This still sounds like something I would do, but I don’t really get to anymore because I have digital calendars on my phone and laptop now. 3. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? Summer vacation! 4 days left! < Again, so cute. There’s no countdown that exists because I honestly don’t know when it will be okay enough to go out like normal again, but I am waiting for Covid to go away or at least for a vaccine to be available.

No #4? 5. Ever got injured at work? What happened? Nope. < I sprained my ankle at one of the parking lots in school, while walking to my car. Worst thing was it happened in front of an ongoing rally, and I heard their chants slightly falter when they saw me fall. I tried to play it cool, but my foot clearly felt fucked and someone had to hold my arm as I hopped to my car.

6. What color is your roof? Brown. < Stop pretending like you have a roof, Robyn. The house has always had a rooftop.

7. Do you use MySpace or Facebook more? Neither. < I was still far too young when MySpace peaked so I never did get to participate in its glory days. I definitely use Facebook a lot more, then and now. 8. Last time you sharpened a pencil? When I took a diagnostic test last Monday. < Sometime in 2019 when I was still heavily into coloring and I bought several coloring books and a pack of coloring pencils. I loved coloring and wish I kept it up, but it was just a bit of a hassle for me to sharpen every ten minutes or so. 9. List all the people in your phone under T: Zero, zilch, nada. No phone. < A high school batchmade named Dani, a college colleague named Kate, and a couple of aunts and uncles whose contacts start with Tito and Tita.  10. How old were you when you got into text messaging? I once had a super obsessive text problem when I was 11, I think? < That would be the first time I got hooked with texting, but I got my first phone when I was 7 and was already texting by then. Mostly my parents and grandpa, but still. 11. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. < No. They’ve already told me they won’t pressure me to do so either, but out of gratefulness for taking care of me for 20+ years I have absolutely no problems covering some of the bills when the time comes. 12. What do you think of Obama’s new healthcare bill? I don’t know a lot about it. < Honestly, still same. That’s another country’s politics altogether and we have enough issues in our own nation as it is. I do pay attention to US issues that are more universal like LGBT issues, police brutality against black people, Trump as a person...but not the more in-depth ones like healthcare or student debt. 13. How many icons are on your desktop? 34. < Exactly half of that. 14. Do you spit or swallow? Get outta here!!! < Still can’t relate. 15. Ever wrote something on a bathroom wall? Nope. < Eugh no, public bathrooms are so nasty. I don’t usually touch anything in them other than the faucet. I’ve written on other things though, like the desks in school. 16. What’s your definition of a slut? Uh. < Someone who often has casual sex with a lot of people, is how I understand it. 17. If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? Nah. < I don’t really use the word. 18. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I did once, in a children’s party. < Yeah, just that one time at my second cousins’ place when they were in the mood to paint on eggs and invited me and my siblings. 19. What did you do on the first day of spring? Never experienced spring. < We don’t have spring. 23. Are you currently crushing on anyone? No. < Yes. 24. What color hair did the last person you kissed have? NKSB. < LOOOOOOOOOL I spent like two minutes puzzling over this like who tf is NKSB??? Eventually realized this just meant ‘Never Kissed Since Birth’ oh my god 14 year old Robyn you were SO uncool. Anyway, her hair is black. 25. Do you stand up to say the pledge in school? We don’t have a school pledge, but we do recite our country’s pledge and yes, we stand up every time we say it. < Not anymore in university. Everyone just kinda does their own thing in college and we’re never gathered as one student body for anything, except for graduation. 26. Do you like your eye color? God no. It’s so boring. < I mean yeah it is a bit boring, but we kinda have no choice. Unless you go to West Asia which is nearing Europe as it is, nearly all Asians have brown eyes and black hair. 27. What brand of orange juice did you last drink? Zesto. < That’s the only brand of orange juice I’m okay with drinking, even eight years later. 28. Pens or pencils? Pens. < Still feel the same. 29. Last skirt you wore and why? My school skirt, because I have to go to school. < Omfg again, this is so precious. The last one I wore was my denim skirt, but it’s also been a while since I wore that because one of its buttons has since popped out and I never got around to having it fixed, leaving me with no skirts. 30. Last time you wore heels, what kind were they? A prom I went to. I actually have no idea what kind of heels they are so I’m just gonna say old-women heels. < They were stilettos, you dumbass. I also wore a pair of stilettos the last time I wore heels. They’re my favorite kind, so. 31. Shoes you wear the most? My Keds. < My pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. . 32. Favorite quote at the moment? “YOU DUMB BITCH! I’M NOT HOLDING A MICROPHONE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?” - CM Punk < Holy crap, I do not remember this quote at all and had to look it up on YouTube and – no regrets. Watching it made so many memories come rushing back lmao that clip is hilarious; Punk is the greatest. Right now I don’t really have a favorite quote. 33. What was the last magazine article you read about? I forgot. < It’s from the website version of the magazine, but the last article I read covered a viral Facebook post wherein someone had photoshopped the faces of The Big Bang Theory boys onto the traditional graduation photos of my university out of boredom. Article is here for anyone who wants to see how well the pictures turned out lol. 34. What do you think about communism? I don’t know enough about it. < I completely support the progressive youth orgs, especially the ones in my university, that are aligned with communist, socialist, and Marxist ideals. They speak the truth more than any other orgs, so I don’t shy away from defending them or promoting their ideals, especially on social media, even if it puts me in danger. 35. Are you planning on going to college? If so, which one? Of course. I want to study in Ateneo. < CAN WE CANCEL 14 YEAR OLD ROBYN?????? What a disappointment omg. You were always meant to be in UP, you weirdo. 22 year old me takes that appalling statement back lol I can’t even begin to imagine spending my college years in Ateneo. 36. What’s your favorite flower? Ugh I hate flowers. < Peonies and roses. 37. What’s the nearest beach? I think it’s like…600 km away + a 2 hour boat ride. < No it is not. There’s a beach I come back to in Nasugbu and that’s only 100 km away. 38. Ever been to Florida? Nope. < Still nope. 39. How old is your brother’s best friend? He’s probably 9 as my brother’s 9. < I don’t know if he has one and I don’t really care anymore. 40. What type of car did you ride in last? A Kia van. < Sksksksks this was referring to the school bus I used to ride omg :( I was last in our Vitara, when I had to go to the hospital to get some tests done back when I still had a pesky fever. 42. Are you excited for summer 2013? Fuck yeah. < I honestly don’t remember how it ultimately went, but apparently I was excited for it so that answers the question. 43. What class were your parents (ex. class of ‘75)? They’re the same age so batch ‘89. < There we go. 44. Are you in debt right now? For what? No. < Kinda-ish? I promised my sister I’d pay her for helping me out with iMovie (I wanted to make Gab a video for her birthday, but had never done it before), but I haven’t had the chance to do it since I only have big bills at the moment. She’s asking for ₱200 but I only have ₱1000s in my wallet, so I can’t pay her for now. 45. If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I definitely want one. < Yep, still want one. Though I’ll need a crash course on how to use it because my parents never really taught me how cards work. 46. What color is your phone? No phone. < Apple calls it space gray but it’s really just black. 47. Have you ever had someone read a text message they weren’t supposed to see? Yes. < Yes. That person was me, and I accidentally read a text from my dad meant for only my mom when I was 5 because I had stubborn fingers that would click on anything. 48. What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? 10. < Holy cow, that’s a nope for me. I’d say 12 or 13. 49. Would you ever work night crew? Sure. < Yes. I’ve seen my girlfriend’s mom do it and honestly I find it pretty badass, especially because while everyone is stuck in traffic trying to get to work by 9 AM, she’s cruising down the highway on the opposite lane with no problem, to be home by 9 hahaha. 50. How old is the last person you texted? 41. < 22.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

8x06 - 8x07 Rewatches

8x06: The King, The Widow, and Rick

Okay, continued from yesterday and moving onto the next episode. So the first part of this episode is Rick arriving at the junk yard and being taken captive, which I discussed yesterday. One thing to add is that during this conversation, Jadis says “alone” twice and “still” once, all in two sentences. I thought that was pretty suspicious.

The next part is the next big thing that I’m really side-eyeing. The short of it is that Michonne and Rosita leave Alexandria together. Both of them were gravely injured in 7x16 (Michonne beaten up by blond Scavenger and Rosita shot in the shoulder). So, both stayed behind when the war began because they weren’t healed yet.

Michonne is worried (I noticed this and was already thinking it might foreshadow her losing Rick in S9) and decides to get in a car and drive to the Sanctuary. Rosita comes out and yells at her that she’s still healing and shouldn’t go. Michonne says she needs to see it for herself. Rosita decides to go with her.

What I was thinking hearkens back to 7x08 and what I said about Rosita returning with Rick and Michonne. To me, this just suggests that Rosita’s arc is entangled with Michonne’s somehow, and I’ll show more evidence of this as we go along. But I was also thinking that S7 wasn’t even the first time we saw this. Back in 5b, the two of them ventured outside of Alexandria together. I believe it was the same episode in which Michonne held up Noah’s one-one t-shirt. So probably 7x15?

Anyway, the point is that Rosita and Michonne are entwined and we see a LOT of it during the AOW story line. And that’s important because I think it shows that this symbolism will be fulfilled during Rick’s death fake out. In other words, now, or during the next few seasons.

This is where the two of them hear music and go to the warehouse where the Saviors are putting huge speakers on a truck. They call it the “fat lady” because it’s a female opera voice and they’re going to use it to lead the walkers away from the Sanctuary. Michonne and Rosita try and stop them. And once again, though it’s hard to pin down details, I’m sure this who scene foreshadows their arc together. It’s just hard to say for sure what it is. Trying to foil the helicopter people, perhaps.

Michonne kicks green tennis ball across the floor by accident, which makes the Saviors realize they’re there. They shoot at Rosita and she drops her gun.

Okay, let’s talk about this theme because we’ve seen it around Rosita a LOT, but I’ve never really put it together until now. We have very often seen Rosita looking for guns, but not finding them. We saw this in S7 when she went out looking for weapons and she and Spencer argued about it. We saw it in that once scene where she saw a gun in a trailer with a diamond-shaped window, and had to kill a nasty, bloated female walker to get it. It turned out to be a toy gun and she was pissed.

Here, she actually drops her gun and we see her reaching her hand into boxes, looking for another one. Much like the toy gun from last season, she actually pulls a glue gun out of the box. So, it’s a gun, but not the type she was looking for. Here, she chucks it, using the sound to misdirect the Saviors searching for her.

Thankfully, in this case, Rosita finally gets some validation. She gets a hold of the rocket launcher (same one Daryl blew up the Saviors with in 6x09) and uses it to incinerate the male savior in the warehouse. So, after a lot of frustration and not finding what she was looking for, she found not only a gun, but kind of THE big cheese of all guns, right?

So, what does this mean? No way to be sure, of course, but let me throw out a totally wacky theory. I’ve suggested that the big guns Rick and Daryl were searching for might represent Beth in some way, right? Well, maybe this represents her looking for Beth in some way and then finding her? Or Rick? I don’t know. Just throwing out some possibilities.

One of the saviors actually gets away with the truck and the speakers, and it looks like all is lost, but then Daryl and Tara come out of nowhere and take it out with their truck.

I don’t have tons to say about this right now, but we see it more throughout the season. For now, it’s just definitely part of the Pied Piper/lead-the-walkers-away-with-music-theme. In this case, it’s the bad guys (Saviors) trying to lead them away, which would have lost TF the war, so TF is trying to prevent it. But we’ve seen this theme a lot and will probably see it again soon, in the S10 finale or soon after, around the hospital.

We also get the see no/hear no/speak no evil theme here. Michonne wants to “see” for herself. They “hear” the music. And silencing the music could count as the “speak no evil.”

This is also where Carl rescues Siddiq and is bitten, though we don’t know that for two more episodes.

The rest of these are minor observations from this episode.

Maggie says to Gregory: “See, I grew up on a farm. I know all about sheep and wolves.” Gregory had mentioned sheep and wolves before at Hilltop, and remember that he’s the Beth proxy here. But it’s interesting because this is an obvious Whisperer foreshadow (Alpha and Daryl had a convo about sheep and wolves in 9x15) and, so far, Maggie hasn’t been present for that story line. But we know she’ll show up in the S10 finale.

There’s a scene where Henry (still 12 years old here) follows Carol and she yells at him to go home. He refuses. After a minute, she finally lets him go with her. It occurred to me that this might have been a foreshadow of her raising him, since she never allowed the other kids—since Lizzie and Mica anyway—to go anywhere with her.

There’s also a scene where Aaron talks to Enid and Maggie about “forgetting he’s [Eric] gone.” I was thinking that we have three people in grief, one past (Maggie, because of Glenn) one present (Aaron, because of Eric) one future (Enid, because Carl will die in two episodes). In this scene, Maggie holds baby Gracie in pink with yellow blanket.

That’s it for this episode.

8x07: Time for After

Okay, this episode is a lot of Eugene at the Sanctuary and there are lots of symbols around him. He goes to see Gabriel in the infirmary (He’s sick from when he got walker guts on him with Negan) and there are horses and dogs in Eugene’s dialogue. He also helps FG drink water.

Carson goes to the market of the Sanctuary to try and find herbs. Since they don’t have actual meds, he says he wants to try some “Eastern” medicine on Gabriel. (Eastern/Tibet is where the hear/see/speak no evil reference comes from.)

In terms of Eugene, FG asks him to help him and Carson get away. Again, because he wants to get Carson back to Maggie.  At first, Eugene basically says he’ll think about it. But he points out that he’s a coward and rarely does anything that won’t help himself survive.

Later, he makes the music glider. He puts Sasha’s music player onto it’s back. This is the second iteration we see of using music to lead the walkers away. Once again, it’s in favor of the Saviors, so not a good thing, and Dwight shoots down the glider, which may parallel both to Beth being shot and to him shooting Denise.

In this scene, Eugene actually uses the phrase “pied piper.” (“When this BIRD slips it’s bounds it will Pied Piper away the walkers.”) I didn’t think they’d actually used that phrase in the show, but I was wrong. So, very interesting symbolism. (Pied Piper theory here.)

After Dwight shoots it down, Eugene goes and yells at Father Gabriel that he won’t help him and is loyal to Negan. This is part of his arc and changes in the next episode.

Daryl, Michonne, Rosita and Tara make it to the Sanctuary. Morgan joins them and says he and the snipers will help and they all argue about whether to crash the truck into the side of the Sanctuary. Rosita says she’s out. She doesn’t want to do it, and leaves. The rest of them get into the truck and drive up to the front of the Sanctuary.

And you know, the more I think about this, the more sure I am that Rosita will help Michonne get Rick back in some way. Here, she’s talking about the plan, but she says, “I believe in Rick Grimes,” and then leaves. Now, Michonne stays at first, but she eventually joins Rosita and goes with her back to Alexandria. So once again, they’re together and it’s all about believing in Rick and not undermining his plan.

This was the part that helped it all fall into place for me. Tara gets out of the truck and it’s just Daryl and Michonne. He can tell she’s not really into this plan. He asks her about it, and she says that she had wanted to see it for herself. To know that it would work. And then she says, “but I don’t get to know that. None of us do.”

This is exactly what Maggie said to Aaron when she was in the middle of Glenn’s death fake out in S6. She said she doesn’t get to know what would happen or if what she did was right or wrong.

So that’s what really made me realize that Rick going to the Scavengers was a foreshadow of his fake out in S9. Because it’s while he’s gone that Michonne says this, just as Maggie said it while Glenn was missing.

At the end of this episode, Jadis releases Rick and agrees to help him. First, though, she brings out a second Winslow-like walker and tries to kill him with it, but he gets the better of it and her. I’m not sure if this, like Winslow, represents his death fake out, or if this points to something that happens when he’s with the helicopter people, just before he escapes them.

AT the end, he goes to the EAST lookout that overlooks the Sanctuary. It’s a water tower, btw. He climbs the ladder and looks down and sees that the courtyard of the Sanctuary is empty. It’s supposed to be full of walkers, trapping the saviors, but the walkers are gone and it’s obvious the Saviors have escaped. That’s the end of the episode.

Now, I think this is an important foreshadow, but I’m going to come back to it in tomorrow’s post, because we see it again later.  

Okay, gonna stop there for today. Again, I just want to keep these from being too long. Today’s observations were kinda small potatoes, but make sure to come back for tomorrow. The next two episodes are all about Carl’s death, and I have TONS to say about that. Stay tuned!

[vetoing-clocks]

Decepticon!Hot Rod Anniversary Q&A

Yes! It happened! On November 13th, 2018, I posted a vignette on Ao3 based on the idea “What if Hot Rod had become a Decepticon in ‘Autocracy’ (and dated Deadlock)?”

365 days and 44,8k words later, the deceptirod AU is still going and I still have plans and ideas for it.

It’s been a huge year for me. I learned a lot as a writer. I achieved some things in my professional path. I made friends in the fandom and got some loyal readers.

I wish I’d noticed sooner that the anniversary was coming up, I would have had something written for today. Since that couldn’t be, I want to thank everyone that sent questions for this hastily put together q&a. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into this little universe I’ve been building.

Everything’s under the cut.

As usual, thank you for reading these fics. This series wouldn’t have gone beyond that first oneshot without the interest and support of all of you.

Anon: So it’s implied events pan out the same as they do when Roddy steals the matrix for the Autobots. Have you ever thought about what happens after? Would Deadlock/Drift’s arc have still happened?

Fun fact: I’ve got this whole AU planned up to the point in which “Transformers: Lost Light” ended. Saying more would be a spoiler.

@kyrinthewarrior​: How did you come up with the idea of Thunderbird and Doctor?

Last year I was writing a canon divergent TFP fic (that’s been on hiatus for over a year, I’m so sorry) in which Starscream realized that he’d never, ever win and decided to become neutral. One of the plot points in it was that Starscream accidentally inspired the Vehicons to start a liberation movement, which included taking names and picking the pronouns they felt fit each one best. Doctor is a character from there, but the name’s different in that fic (hasn’t shown up yet in that fic, actually). I didn’t see any reason to invent a new character to be the medic in Pache when I could just grab one that already existed.

Thunderbird was, like every TF OC I make, an accident. I needed a character with information that could interact with Hot Rod and tell him the things he had no way of finding out on his own (the Great Carrot knows I love Rod, but he’s not in charge of anything that would give him access to privileged information). Now, we have plenty of cold and serious calculating characters, so I decided to write someone that would purposefully try to get everyone to think he’s harmless and good. Someone you’d want to be friends with and would never ever suspect of having a mental file in which he keeps every sign of weakness you’ve displayed around them and who would sell you to Satan for a corn chip if they felt the corn chip was more important than you. Then I went to my list of potential OC names, picked the one I liked best, and Thunderbird was born. The heelys, though, are there because I find them funny (this AU, like many things I do, runs on a delicate balance of things that I love to read, things I find fascinating to explore, and things that appeal to my sense of humor).

@marsreds​: Favorite line you've published?

“I’m sorry, but I love you.”

@marsreds​: Favorite line you've written?

Oof, this is hard, but I’m gonna go with, “Because something has to matter. Because something has to be done. Because there’s nothing else I can do.”

Although I’m also terribly fond of Doctor’s lines about why Medicine’s patron is Adaptus, not Primus. I have a whole mental essay about why Primus being Medicine’s patron doesn’t work, and I’m turning it into a fic one day.

@marsreds​: What do you look forward most to writing?

In general, any bit that foreshadows unwritten fics, or any bit that’s a callback to a previus story (especially when it’s a fic I haven posted yet). Basically, bits that should be rewarding to anyone that decides to re-read the series.

@marsreds​: What even set you off to make this au in the first place?

We were on Discord and someone started talking about how easily Hot Rod could have become a Decepticon. We started talking about how some things would have gone differently, but also how we could keep the canon timeline pretty much the same, and it led to “Hot Rod realizes how messed up their faction has become, so he steals the Matrix anyway and gets shot.” That’s when a line started forming in my mind and I had to write it. 90 minutes later, “The cold” had been written, and from there I had to keep playing in the sandbox. There was too much to explore.

@marsreds​: Can you believe that we didn't know each other when you published the first installment of this?

Wait, we didn’t????????? Didn’t you link me to the server where this whole thing started?

Huh. Wow. You’ve been so present throughout all the plotting that I guess I can’t picture this without you at the beginning.

@marsreds​: What's something that surprised you while you were writing it?

How much it grew. Not as a plotline, but as a world. This was supposed to be an exploration of the progressive distortion of the Decepticon ideal disguised as a hotlock slowburn. I’d maybe throw in one or two OCs from “Such a big deal, though” to make the world seem more populated and believable. Then I was writing “Crash and burn” and I realized I couldn’t really talk about the Decepticons without the Decepticons, but I didn’t know enough about canon characters to fill the world with recognizable names, which forced me to create my own characters. They were supposed to be background characters, show up for a couple scenes, fulfill their roles and disappear forever, and instead they had personalities, alt-modes, and whole stories inside my mind that I can only hint at. It went from feeling like my little AU fanfic to my own alternate timeline, like maybe Brainstorm’s briefcase made it exist and it’s as “real” as everything that’s been published and has aired throughout the years.

Connected to that, I’ve also been surprised by the reaction to this bigger world. I’ve seen someone include Doctor and Thunderbird in their own AU. You declared Crystal Wing your favorite and get super protective of him. I’ve been asked what Thunderbird looks like, and everyone seems fascinated by him. It makes it all feel more and more like its own canon timeline that simply hasn’t been recognized by Hasbro, and that makes me happy.

@marsreds​: Something you would've done differently?

Not really? Nothing that can’t be edited, like the writing in “Alive”, or the bits I’ll eventually add to “Crash and burn” and “Nightlight”.

@marsreds​: How do you come up with names for things?

For characters, I mostly use rollercoasters. I went on Wikipedia one day, found a list of rollercoasters, and wrote down all the names that sounded like they could be used for OCs. Some have been given by others and one is a very unsubtle historical reference that made me feel embarrassed by how shameless it was (there’s a while until you see that name, though).

For places, I think of what happens in the fic in which they’re first named. Then I think of something associated to the events, or to the description of the planet, and then I pick a word that alludes to said events/description and which amuses me. Basically, every planet name is a joke/reference/unsubtle-nod-to-the-plot. All of them. Not very funny jokes, sure, but definitely things that made me feel very clever.

@marsreds​: Am i a good editor and do i actually contribute to the process or are you just humoring me?

Mars, if you didn’t contribute to the process I could just ignore you. When I disagree with your suggestions, I tell you so. When your suggestions make me cry inside but I agree they’re good, I follow them. When your suggestions add to the story, I gladly include them. You’re stuck as my editor until you get sick of me.

@marsreds​: Are hotlock gonna be invited to the thunderdice wedding?

Hot Rod and Deadlock won’t be invited to the thunderdice wedding.

But if there was any way for Hot Rod and Deadlock to be invited, they’d be invited by the groom. The bride doesn’t want to see Deadlock ever again.

@marsreds​: If you had to make a thesis statement for this au, what would it be?

Kindness. That might sound odd in what’s mostly been a slow burn set during a war, but kindness is what everything is built on here. Hot Rod cares about people, cares even when it might get him killed, because somebody has to. Back in Nyon, it was him and the other gutter mechs looking after each other. In “Crash and burn”, his kindness is what saved him, the fact that others remembered what he’d done for them. His kindness is what makes him stand out to Deadlock. It’s his kindness that makes him start doubting the cause and eventually steal the Matrix.

But it’s not only him. Deadlock doesn’t know how to be kind, but he can follow Hot Rod’s lead, follow his example until he can perform kindness on his own. Doctor is in Medicine for selfish reasons, but still goes and puts medgrade in Hot Rod’s hands when he looks like shit, and forces Thunderbird to take care of himself despite knowing he’s a bastard. Thunderbird cares only about himself and his best friend, but he doesn’t see any reason to be rude to people that might be dead the next day.

Kindness is not a weakness and there’s no mold for it. Kindness doesn’t mean never fighting, or never doing anything bad. It just means that, if there’s a good thing you can do, a good thing you know you can do, and there’s no reason not to do it, you should do it. It may never be repaid or it might save your life. You put some good in the world because somebody has to do it. And maybe in the real world kindness won’t be rewarded as it should, but this is fiction, and I’m allowed to write a world in which kindness is valued, even during something as terrible as a war, because it’s a promise, it’s hope, it’s something to hold on to and to remind you that things aren’t always bad.

The thesis is: Hot Rod was kind, and that was the right course of action.

@marsreds​: What would be this au's theme song?

Be More Kind - Frank Turner

@marsreds​: What's deadlock's favourite thing about hot rod? and hot rod's about deadlock?

Deadlock likes that Hot Rod lets him bite him.

Just kidding. Can I say kindness again? But yeah. The fact that Hot Rod cares for everyone. Deadlock came from the streets and was used to nobody giving a damn about him. He joined the Decepticons and got used to being valued for being a fighter. Enter Hot Rod, who values everyone no matter their rank, simply because they’re on his faction. The moment Hot Rod knows you’re on his side, you become one of his people. He’ll take care of you. To Deadlock, Hot Rod is a shelter.

As for Hot Rod? He likes how reliable Deadlock is. He likes that Deadlock seems to have clear loyalties and principles and he sticks to them. If Deadlock says he’s going to follow you until the end of the universe, you can be sure he will. If Deadlock decides to help you, he’ll be there no matter what. If Deadlock has decided that something is wrong, then you can be sure he won’t be looking for loopholes that allow him to do it anyway. He likes that Deadlock is there for him and will always be there for him as long as he deserves it. To Hot Rod, Deadlock is a pillar.

@marsreds​: Objectively, is deadlock considered hot in this universe? (i know hot rod's considered attractive but that's just his personality)

This one technically goes against my “How do I interact with my fiction” rules, because it refers to a detail I’m probably never showing/implying in the text.

What I’m saying is: you are free to ignore this answer if you don’t like it.

It amuses me to think Deadlock is average, physically speaking. People like his face when he’s not doing the murdercat expression, but he’s almost always doing the murdercat expression and has the social skills of a toothpick.

It also amuses me to think that the Autobots think he looks edgy. It’s the bad boy appeal. Hot Rod would find that hilarious.

@marsreds​: What do you like the most about their relationship that is present in this au but not in canon(ish) iterations of these characters?

I wrote three very salty paragraphs in reply to this and proceeded to delete them. Nobody needs that. To be brief, what I like about their relationship here is that their friendship means something to them. Even if this series ended with Hot Rod marrying Thunderbird and Deadlock marrying Doctor, you’d know for sure that there’s so much trust, companionship and love (and I don’t mean romantic love) between them that they’d be in each other’s lives as best friends until one of them died.

@squireofgeekdom: Any songs you associate with any of your OCs?

None yet, surprisingly?

Anon: What sort of key points do you keep in mind to keep track of where characters should be emotionally/in their arc when you're writing stories set at very different points in time, and not necessarily writing them in linear order? It's all very much coherent character/relationship arcs and I'm just very impressed - and the cohesiveness overall. Are there themes that you try to keep consistent across stories to build that?

Pre-Matrix stealing I have a clear idea of how things progress relating to key events, because it’s all very linear. The first relevant change in the relationship happens in “Triage” (still unwritten, sorry), so I know that any ideas for fics that happen before that will have to fit a certain pattern. The next big change is “Nightlight”, because it’s when the mutual pining starts. Before that, it’s only Hot Rod being invested in their friendship. Then it’s only mutual pining until “Declaration...”, and from then on things are mostly stable until “Home” (also unwritten, sorry again).

The hotlock dynamic progresses with their feelings. The only important thing I have to keep in mind is that they must be friends first and love interests second. If I can’t believe that these two genuinely like each other, then it’s time for a re-write. Cybertronians have long lives, which means their friendship must deepen as time passes, and so I can have them noticing or knowing more about each other the later in the timeline a fic is set.

Relating to OCs, there are key elements that will never ever change and which form the base of the interactions. For example, Doctor’s only goal in life is to survive; related to that, Doctor is unimpressed by, but extremely wary of, Thunderbird, despises Deadlock (I’m not talking funny rivalry, I’m talking a feeling that borders on disgust, of finding a person that so absolutely opposes the core of your being that you daydream of beating their face to a pulp and leaving them out for the wolves), and is fond of Hot Rod despite being certain he’ll get himself killed one day. Thunderbird likes to know things for the sake of knowing things and thinks life is one big cosmic joke and that taking it seriously is a mistake; because of that, he’s curious about Hot Rod and really wants to know what will become of him, is reluctanctly fascinated by Doctor, and the only person he loves besides himself is Crystal Wing. Crystal Wing is so slow that he knows he has to use his time wisely, so he’s always in a good mood (it takes too long to overcome a negative emotion), likes everyone immediately (it’s faster to dislike someone than learn to like them), and always says exactly what he means without adornments or metaphors.

As for plotting, I keep notes of key events and the rest is fluid. I know what’s going to happen in “Home”, so I’m free to foreshadow it when I get the chance. I know what happened in “Triage”, so I can write callbacks if I feel they fit the story.

About themes... There are a lot of things this AU is about, but off the top of my head I can mention:

Kindness

Making one (1) person the key to your emotional development is fucked up

Who we are and who we become can’t be traced back to one moment. We’re all the result of thousands of interactions and events that pile up and which we choose to see in a certain way to justify the person we are or want to be

Friendship!

Everything I write must be in accordance to these ideas. Themes and cohesiveness go before everything else, even my own ego and need for approval. Surprising my audience is not as important as feeling I respected the characters and the story.

@choomchoom: Is Hot Rod’s history as an insurgency leader in Nyon commonly known amongst the Decepticons? If not, how did Deadlock find out?

Yes and no. This might count as a spoiler? Stop reading here if you don’t want to know absolutely anything about fics that I’ll write someday.

When Hot Rod arrived, his past was used as propaganda. “Look at the mech we brought in. Someone willing to do whatever it takes in the fight against the Autobots.” Anyone who was around high command or near the area when Hot Rod joined the Decepticons knows his past. After that, it was part of the information in the starter pack. After a while, it wasn’t relevant anymore, and so newer recruits don’t know about his past and might have only heard about this crazy mech that drags injured soldiers out of the battlefield.

@choomchoom: Also if no one has asked about music yet I would love some song recs to cry and swoon to the next time you post an update.

I have a playlist that’s 95% somewhat serious and/or shippy songs (the remaining 5% is “Despacito” and I have no regrets).

Highlights from it include:

The already linked “Be More Kind”, which is this AU’s thesis

The hotlock theme is Los Tres’ “Amor Violento” (loose translation of relevant lyrics: “I’ll spend my whole life in buying yours [...] Love will have to wait for a good while to rest from you and I [...] Because a violent love blinded us / A violent love fulminated us”)

For the post-Matrix stealing to the point at which the war ends, the song is Silversun Pickups’ “Growing Old Is Getting Old”. It also fits for that point at which you realize that your faction has strayed from its original vision

For the Decepticons in the beginning, Los Prisioneros’ “El Baile De Los Que Sobran” (”Join the dance of the left overs / Nobody’s going to miss us / Nobody truly wanted to help us / When we were small we were told / ‘Make studying your game’ / Men are brothers and must work together [...] And it wasn’t so true / Because in the end those games were for others / That ended up with laurels and a future / And left my friends kicking rocks”)

A bit of a post-Nyon mood: Coldplay’s “42″

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

im gonna just keep punching thru my WIPs so here’s some ~ign gun stuff~. i know everyone wants to talk about the new trailer and calypso stuff, i mean i do at least, but `checks list` i still have a lot of old stuff to get thru 😵

god i’ve been working on this for *three days* (yes! im not dead!)

tl;dr: i mostly just wanted to talk about how the CoV is using slag to power their guns to give them infinite magazines and ended up getting more proof for my ‘the calypsos are using eridium/slag to quickly mutate their followers and give them special powers’ theory. Also some interesting stuff about troy’s sword and his tattoos and his lil necklace things at the very bottom, if you’re interested. mostly ties it all into the new Eridian glowing stuff we’ve been seeing. they’ve moved on from purple -> red. which brings up some interesting questions...

So first I’m going over the individual IGN weapon videos, which you can find on their site here and on youtube here through HayderHype (doing god’s work). i recommend checking out this version because the ign player is not spectacular.

now to be honest im here to talk about three things from this particular vid: the areas we see in the gameplay, the new funky alien parts, and the CoV guns. the manufacturer perks are cool and all, but we already know most of that stuff. so I won’t be showcasing every gun from the video, but instead the more interesting/important bits I’ve noticed as I watched it

cool? cool!

the first area we get is definitely space rocks, im imagining this is similar to the area we see Zane in on that one promo sheet, 

(this one)

and, more importantly, the area where we will find that bigass space laser gun thing. i do believe that giant-ass gun is somewhere within Promethea’s asteroid belt.

(this one)

i am curious why the planet below doesn’t appear to have any asteroids surrounding it. maybe the giant space laser destroyed them. which i do discuss in this post here, if you’re interested in a very long read.

it could be that we’re simply on the side of the asteroids. which then makes me wonder, why are they all clustered there? it’s probably because the fuckin moon was destroyed. maybe by the giant space laser. which is also discussed in the post above 👀

it could also be elpis! the rocks are definitely gray enough lol and we don't exactly have a very good frame of reference for ‘asteroid’ vs ‘moon’. the giant space gun is out of shot, afterall.

ah. alien guns. 

i don’t think these are related to the bl1 eridian guns- not the kind we’ve seen that look similar to the Guardians in-game

that is:

this is all the same sort material as the Guardians, with their bug bits and armor and shit and these new alien barrels are all organic and squishy. (oh also take note of that purple thing on the eridian lightning, im going to bring it back later)

these new ones are definitely fuckin creepy looking, but not very bug-like at all. if they are related to eridians, it’s not through the Guardians. (as for the ACTUAL Vault Guardians/Monsters, yeah, it’s possible. i’ll get to that in a secco)

for the tentacle stuff, i know the Destroyer (not a Vault Guardian- it was imprisoned) is all ‘tentacles and disappointment’, but tbh i don’t see the asphalt lookin chunks being part of the Destroyer. and i especially don’t see manufacturers themselves harvesting the Destroyer for gun parts (Hyperion aside lol)

i could see them tying it in with the Rampagers (both fleshy with the black armor bits) but also... they’re not very tentacle-y. and how would manufacturers be getting the rampager stuff anyway? i suppose if that really is a teleportation network, then they would be on all the planets we visit. making them more available for farming. but still.

and yeah, the rocks probably have some sort of relation to Eridians, i mean we’ve seen rocks like these at Eridian dig sites and we know of a Vault Monster made out of similar-looking rocks

plus

this shloot gun, which i will get to later, appears to be made out of the same rock. 

so wtf are these tentacle things? made by eridians specifically for weaponry? a different version of the eridian guns we find on Pandora? did the manufacturers find a whole stash of these things and start making their own? instructions on how to build them? we know eridian writing is stashed across the universe, afterall.

maybe they are meant to be something different...

i honestly don’t know, and im getting off topic here, so let’s move on.

not a crashed ship. i haven’t seen ALL the eden-6 gameplay, but i’ve seen a few and they had only gone through the ship AI quest with ice-t and the very uncomfortably long jabber section. seriously, tf was that? 

also i still don’t trust wainwright. that fucker is totally gonna betray us for the key once we get him the pieces. also did you know one piece of the promethean key is on Athenas? wildin’. wait this game is just One Piece in space... fairy vearth i am coming for you... oh god, do i have a type? i think i have a type when it comes to media. ... hm.

oh, but the facility. i wouldn’t be surprised if it were Atlas. the red stripes also got me like ‘old Hyperion’, but again tf would Hyperion be doing on Eden-6? plus that one shot with Hammerlock in the new Eden-6 video makes me think it is, in fact, Atlas. 

(side note, i love when i search my blog for a post with the word ‘eden-6′ in it and i get literally everything EXCEPT the post where the hyperlink is literally eden-6. tumblr! you suck! your search function is terrible!  https://cruddyborderlandstheories.tumblr.com/post/186858618497/eden-6. but yeah this is where that hammerlock shot is, if you’re interested)

specifically this little thing here

reminds me of this labeling system that we see on Promethea, which marks different parts of the city (red and blue are the 2 i’ve seen so far)

which then begs the question: what was ATLAS doing on eden-6? back when i thought this planet was promethea, that was fine. but... it’s not. so wtf are they doing here? 

personally, i think they were researching whatever Typhon Deleon found here (or thought he would find here). We see he has historical markers across the planet, so i would not be surprised if he found something. 

to add to that, we know there’s eridian things on planet, because a. we see a eridian log in the moze gameplay. 

and b, which is new info from the recent community Q&A: those purple crystals we see contain eridian writing, and we use a “special tool” to dig them out

so glad we finally know wtf these are for lol

“There’s Eridian Writing, and you need a certain tool to get the Eridian writing and once you do, you find this across there (the planets i assume) and this Eridian Writing opens up certain things for players”. which has certainly gotten me INTERESTED AS FUCK

i know i mentioned in my post about these crystals that maybe these were parts of eridian artifacts and stuff that tannis would help us with and turn into gear. but honestly given how vague he is by saying ‘opens up certain... things’... i almost want to say skill upgrades. 

i’ve mentioned before (and actually it’s come back recently in an ask) that I really, really, REALLY want our VHs to get bonus skill trees due to Siren powers being unlocked (cause like if we do graduate to Vault Guardian then who is to say... we won’t?) and, like, sure, if they can’t break the ‘6 Sirens in the universe at a time’ rule, then mayhaps we will get some sweet Eridian upgrades through these writings to our already available skills. maybe new standalone action skills, since they’ve made it very clear you can equip any action skill you want. lorewise, it could be like how Fl4k’s skag becomes an Eridian Skag (cough LostLegionEternal cough)

or, maybe, they actually are schematics and Tannis will help us build them and we’ll get cool gear out of it. maybe vehicle upgrades or something. maybe even something pertaining to Guardian Rank (which I still think is us graduating from Vault Hunter to Vault Guardian and if thats the case then i really hope siren = vault guardian becau- okay i’ll stop sorry.). I don’t think it will be something that we MUST do for the plot, so it can’t be THAT important to the lore. Like i said in the old post, we probably will break one or two for the main story after getting the stabby brass knuckles, then we will be let loose to collect the others on our own free time. 

but yeah, the wording of “opens up” is doing me a big thonk because... well, he’s making it sound like an entirely new aspect of the game we have yet to hear about. of course he could just be using a very literal sense of the word in that we are literally opening up the crystals by smashing them open and freeing whatever is locked inside. especially because he says that specifically the Eridian writing, which we acquire with the tool, is what opens up those certain things. 

also guessing we get this glowly stabby tool from Athenas now, instead of from Atlas. I’ll explain in the Athenas post!! I promise. we have LOTS of stuff to discuss there, i’m very excited to work on it.

jesus i got off topic.

but yeah. i imagine Atlas would be researching whatever Eridian stuff Typhon Deleon found here. there’s clearly writing all over the place, with lots of eridian logs

it could also be that this is like Supamax MFG or some other production facility that was shut down and abandoned. doesn’t always have to tie back into the deep lore, as much as i want it to lol

but moving on. because good lord im not even like 2 minutes in on the first video and i have 2 more to go after this.

this area feels like the inside of the asteroid base.

there’s nothing but rocks floating outside! so i guess the theory about this being on the side of the asteroids was correct! huzzah!

poor promethea. they didn’t deserve it. also may just be some way to link up the promethea teleport system (because yeah im still standing by that theory) to the rest of the planets. or this is some way to activate a temple, or a Vault, or something Rhys wants exploded like Maliwan HQ... so many possibilities. Maybe it’s just that Maliwan was sky-bombing Atlas-held areas and he sends us up here to stop it.

so many possibilities. so little time.

moving on

looks like the place amara visits in her character trailer. given we’ve also seen the area Fl4k visits, im excited to see if we’ll also be visiting the areas from Moze and Zane’s trailers.

eyy more looks at that facility. definitely feeling like this is Atlas.

also, this appears to be similar to the window brick, mordecai, and tina stand in front of in that one shot. i know i already mention this in that VERY old post where i organized all the areas of the dev and reveal trailers, but still. good to see it’s standing up

also, if you’re wondering why i have yet to mention or show any of the athenas clips, it’s because im saving those for my next post. athenas all day babey (i am trying to use self-restraint, it’s very hard for me to not just blather on about stuff i want to talk about lol)

this appears to be the tink stripper area lol

thanks gearbox i hate it

why

big varkid!! with what looks like the HBC in the background. possibly some named badass enemy we kill for hammerlock? i can’t imagine this is big enough to be vermi.

the area with the ferris wheel!! i hope we can ride it. also that rollercoaster in the claptrap presents pandora video? omg i want to ride it sooooo badly

ah this is the jakobs family thing. part of the ship from the eden-6 demo

iirc this was where Moze is using Iron Bear during the We Are Mayhem trailer. I wonder if that’s Rhys’s office in the back or smth. very fancy

okay. finally.

the Children of the Vault Weapons. I’m actually going to showcase a few of these, because I think it’s important.

remember, the CoV weapons have infinite magazines (not infinite ammo)

so if you’ve noticed the similarities between these weapons: they all seem to be powered by eridium/slag. some have the purple piping (and with the fire/corrosive/shock elements, i have to wonder if this is similar to how slag mutated enemies will get elemental affinities) and shards of eridium sticking out of the detailing. 

given the piping will change colors depending on the element used, i definitely don’t think the glowing purple is just for aesthetic purposes and i 100% believe this plays into their infinite magazine size. i think this is somewhat similar to the Eridian weapons, in which they have infinite magazines and rechargeable ammo

(using the eridian thunder storm as reference here)

the CoV weapons don’t have rechargeable ammo, but they definitely have infinite magazines, which i imagine is a step in the right direction to recreating these eridian weapons with slag/eridium

so is this the reason that slag pool we see is ‘Holy Holy Holy’?

^ this is a glimpse at the structure below in-game spewing out eridium/slag, so we know what the full version looks like

and below is a version without slag/eridium:

i mean, it’s not like there hasn’t already been a precedent for worshipping guns and what provides them. just take a look at the bloodshot ramparts, the bloodshots worshipping Marcus as a god for providing guns to them.

i mean, even the eyeball symbolism is pretty familiar here.

and yes, this could 100% replace my other theory that the twins are mutating their cultists with eridium/slag. but tbh, i think it proves it even further.

remember this?

that piping looks really familiar, doesn’t it?

and we know goliaths in bl2 were mutated by slag/eridium/ruin exposure- it’s explained that a lot of the bandits teetering on the verge on non-human were mutated because of eridian ruins/tech (the key in sledge’s mine). so why would it be hard to believe that the twins are accelerating or activating this process using their own store of eridium/slag?

i won’t go full theory on this, because you’ve already heard me rave about it, but i think this is very nice evidence, so long as our previous assumption about the slag/eridium powering the CoV guns is true. which i believe it is

(From the Eden-6 teaser trailer)

(from the We Are Mayhem trailer)

very similar

so what the hell is in those vials?

looking at them, it’s clear the first matches up with the slag gun and the second with the fire gun. all well and good. maybe they’re bottling up that elemental goodness as sort of an ‘oh shit’ button, or just as a way to stand out in the cult, show off your allegiance to them by mimicking Troy’s vials (which i suppose i’ll have to touch on in another post, because iit will derail everything)

so i imagine this is provided by the cult- maybe because they are powering up their cultists using slag, in a very similar way to how they’re powering up their guns. forcibly mutating them and all that- speeding up the process that normally happens somewhat slowly on Pandora. afterall, isn’t that what the cultists are being promised? ‘special powers’.

but there is more

we know Tyreen’s power is to absorb the powers of people. Phaseleech or something. and when she does it to lilith in the new cutscene, lilith simply has her Siren powers taken away and is left in a near-death state. 

which is all well and good, but when Tyreen does it to her cultists... hell, even the Sun Smashers, something different happens:

we’re even allowed to watch the process take place

even before he’s fully dead, this psycho is turning to stone, which doesn’t happen to lilith. there’s a few reasons this could happen

1. Tyreen didn’t have intent to kill. she wanted to leave Lilith for the dogs- the Eridium-tier cultists

2. Lilith’s Siren powers are sort of like a shield- instead of immediately turning to stone under the effects of Tyreen’s powers, she instead loses her abilities

3. the bandits are different from Lilith, and that is because of her abilities as a Siren.

im going to go for the 3rd option.

we know bandits on Pandora are mutated by the slag/eridium/eridian ruins surrounding them. Krieg, an off-worlder, is taken into a hyperion testing facility and tested on with slag, which turns him into the badass psycho we know today. that gives him the exposure to slag/eridium/eridian ruins/tech. you get the deal. (im just going to call it eridium in reference to all eridian ruins/tech/slag/eridium.) and like Krieg, we see badass psychos roaming the wastes, even before Hyperion slag testing began to take place. this is because of their exposure to eridian ruins/technology across pandora- eridium hadn’t appeared until after the first Vault opened. 

so i dont think it hard to believe that these bandits are still being affected by exposure, to the point that eridium had begun to build up in their bodies, leading to these physical mutations and new elemental powers. this happens to the wildlife of Pandora, too. Badass elemental skags, fire spiderants, even bloodwing shows (a speedrun version of) this in the WEP. some muted bandits include badass psychos, goliaths, burning psychos, slagged psychos. etc, etc.

i think Lilith, being a Siren, is protected from the effects of ‘background radiation’ of eridium. she’s able to process eridium without any byproduct, and we can assume she’s converting it fully into energy/power (as Sirens are able to charge Vault Keys with it). we could argue that her Siren skill gain in borderlands 1 is explained by her being near eridian ruins for a majority of the game (slow buildup of background ‘radiation’), then in bl2 her skills skyrocket to an entirely new level (teleportation) because of her direct contact with pure eridium. and since she’s able to convert eridium into power, she doesn’t turn to stone when Tyreen absorbs her lifeforce- she has no buildup in her body.

unlike her, the bandits who spent a long enough time (7 years is long enough for the Sun Smashers, I would imagine. also probably long enough for Vaughn to start losing it- just a little bit) on Pandora to continuously absorb this eridium have a significant build-up in their bodies, so when Tyreen absorbs their life forces, the eridium already inside them is drawn out, or reacts with her powers, and turns them to stone/eridium crystals.

anyway.

moving on to more gun stuff

Borderlands 3: Every Gun Maker and Their Perks

like the last vid, im just going to be going over some interesting areas and guns if i see any.

>hold down the trigger to charge the gun and release a powerful pulse shot

did they fix Maliwan guns??? iirc from the demo you had to charge them to shoot at all! that’s wonderful!

also

looks like Zane might have an ECHO log somewhere in the Meridian Metroplex, if the VHs don’t have ECHOs in their inventory as starting gear (im curious if the ones on Sanc-III are supposed to replace that, or if they’ve only been put there for the demo...)

the reason im assuming this is an ECHO is because ur character’s icon will only appear if ur coop player is speaking and they’re far away from you (no coop partner in this clip), or if you’ve activated an ECHO log. there may be a as-of-yet unrevealed option, like maybe the twins playing back a recording, but we’ll see.

so, ahhh if ur in this general location, be on the lookout for anything glowing like a quest item

also also im surprised there are players who are using Zane and not playing with 2 action skills. that’s like... sort of his biggest thing.

ah well, that’s literally the only interesting thing outta this video, so moving on

5 of the Craziest and Awesome Guns in BL3

yeah this is the one gun i wanna talk about- i said i was going to be bringing it back later on and i wasn’t joking

so it should be pretty obvious by now this thing is Eridian. if the symbol on the top didn’t convince you, and the rocks didn’t either, then the diamond should, bc apparently that’s just, like, an Eridian thing now. apparently. no im not salty this shape just started appearing only in the 3rd game. that’s ridiculous.

... okay, only a little, i guess.

personally, i think this gun exists to explain why the Vaults and Vault Monsters drop loot that is... from our world/time period. Feed it Eridium, get guns out. how does it actually make gun? iunno. looks like it’s powered by fire, though. or whatever is in Troy’s sword/the cool knife knuckles

this stuff

orrrr

this stuff.

which... makes me think Troy doesn’t use his sword in the intro fight because he doesn’t have it yet. he might be waiting to get it back (upgrade?) or until he’s strong enough to hold it- or he just hasn’t found it yet. 

i mean, the boy can’t even pick himself up off the ground and suddenly I’m supposed to believe he can wield a sword that’s probably heavier than he is? he’s probably waiting to be full strength to use the damn thing.

and if he doesn’t have it yet, i would imagine they find it on Athenas or in one of the other temples while using the teleportation network (i will die for this theory until im proven wrong) and yoink that shit. i mean, who wouldn’t?

which also is making me wonder if the stuff around his neck is the new (old? before/after eridium?) Eridian energy/power. which i guess means we’re looping all the way back around to theory #1: wtf are those things around troy’s neck lol

it would be interesting if he’s gotta hold onto this for his powers or something. double interesting if Tyreen is making him use it because he’s useful, even though it’s killing him- if he’s useful somehow (like thru distributing the powers Tyreen holds, like i’ve been saying with my input/output twins theory for quite some time now) then Tyreen NEEDS him to do this for the cult.

i mean, his tattoos do glow the same color as the Eridian tech when they’re transferring what i assume is energy between the two of them

so it's not too hard to believe that his tattoos are somehow tied to this eridian tech mess. 

i almost wonder if this is like... a new version of Siren we haven’t seen yet. one not linked to Eridium like the other Sirens are. maybe created before/after the eridians had access to eridium (before they discovered it/locked it away in the Vault of the Destroyer), or an artificial one produced by the red-based eridian tech- and that’s why his tattoos are the same color as all the new eridian stuff we’ve been seeing.

but, eh. it’s whatever. this is a gun post, not a Calypso post. i’ll go in depth in a later post :^) (i am trying to stay on topic now. we’ll see how long this lasts lol)

[chibicrow]

otp meme: datastorm, and I'm an indecisive trashcan so I say... all? or at least as many as you want/can?

*sob* I’m so glad the first two Anons for this meme want me to give Stardust Boi so much love I’m appreciative. 👏😭 (listen I love making fun of Ryoken, but also. he needs hugs.) 

also giving me the opportunity to gush about Datastorm that much.... Giving me too much power here, Anon. >:3c 

(I omitted #19-21 and #26-27 tho mostly b/c I didn’t think those questions would apply to them dlkafjalksdjf) 

(also this REALLY got lengthy and tumblr won’t save the read more cut for whatever reason so sorry y’all aSDLKFASLFKASJF) 

For the OTP Question Meme!! 

1. Who is the most affectionate?

def Yusaku. like he would drown Ryoken in affection ok. (after the initial “do I really want to be that physically close” + finding out Ryoken’s boundaries phase lmao)

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

good thing I just looked this up ‘cause I was like “I have no hecking idea what this means.” lmao

anyway, Yusaku’s big spoon, Ryoken’s little spoon don’t change my mind.

3. Most common argument?

Going on the “Ryoken has severe mental health problems thanks to his asshole dad + once he realizes his dad was indeed an asshole” train, Stardust Boi has a tendency to be super self-deprecating, and this freaks Yusaku out a bit, so he just. Unleashes a tirade of compliments on the guy. 

And Stardust Boi’s like “No I’m not. No. No. That’s not true.” until Yusaku hugs him to get him to stop. Usually works for the time-being. :3c

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

BESIDES CARD GAMES? Taking naps. Particularly naps on the floor. Particularly with Yusaku sleeping on top of Ryoken. Actually it’s more like Yusaku sleeping on top of him and Ryoken just staring at him while smiling the entire time. 

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

I mean, not that Yusaku ever does it, but he probably could carry Ryoken if he ever wanted to. 

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

*sharp inhale* AAAAAAAA -

Ryoken about Yusaku: the rare (to him) and elusive Super Soft Yusaku Egao(tm). Gives him butterflies every damn time.

Yusaku about Ryoken: oddly specific, but Ryoken’s hair when it’s just washed (which is.... not everyday lets say. b/c he doesn’t need to. he’s a thick-hair boi) and conditioned. it’s like Supreme Soft(tm) at that point and Yusaku likes running his fingers through it (after Ryoken’s like “YOUR HANDS BETTER BE CLEAN I S2G” + Yusaku’s like “what do you take me for.”) 

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

uh about Yusaku, just watch VRAINS like right when he realizes Revolver-sama’s That Person(tm) i’m pretty sure the answer’s there. //punted

I’M KIDDING.

Definitely the way they refer to each other IRL. RIP calling each other Playmaker + Revolver in real life. But then they’d just stick to surnames @ first b/c calling each other by first names? woah there. 

But then, Ryoken’s actually the one who says Yusaku’s name first (probably right before he confesses his feelings) + Yusaku’s like “did u just.”  

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

I...really don’t see them as the “giving each other disgustingly cute nicknames” couple lmao. 

now them doing that is a different story but

9. Who worries the most?

Yusaku. Poor guy. With a guy like Ryoken tho, I don’t blame him lmao. 

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? 

Omg Ryoken hands down. Like he’s probably got Yusaku’s orders memorized to the condiment preferences for different meals of the day at different restaurants 😂 And Yusaku gets so embarrassed about it asdlkfalkjdf. 

11. Who tops?

SADLFKJSALKFJ WAIT WASN’T THERE DISCOURSE ABOUT THIS FOR DATASTORM A WHILE AGO IN THE VRAINS FANDOM? Glad I didn’t get asked this then.... 😂😂😂 heckin’ rip. 

Ok, this is gonna get super specific but uh, the gist of it is.... it depends, really? (as it should)

So like, if Ryoken + Yusaku are both in a good mood and are just like “hey we haven’t done this in a while” kind of thing, it’s Ryoken.

If Yusaku’s kinda down but still up for it, also Ryoken.

But if Ryoken’s the one who’s down, it’s Yusaku.  

And then that once in a blue moon moment where both somehow get horny af . . . Yusaku. 😂👏👏

and those are my two cents *drops mic*

12. Who initiates kisses?

Ryoken! I mean, I think Yusaku’s affectionate (*gestures @ #1 answer lmao*), but he’d let Stardust Boi take the lead in the kissing department b/c.... well he never knows what he’s gonna get there, so..... 😂

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

ok I know this probably goes against episode 105 when Yusaku just looked at Aoi’s hand like “tf am I supposed to do with that”, but I’m sure Yusaku would reach for Ryoken’s hand first. It wouldn’t be like a gradual “reaching toward the hand” thing either. Yusaku would just. Speed-grab it like “it’s mine now”. 😂

bonus: so like if Yusaku does that while they’re sitting or something, Ryoken will massage his hand by rubbing little circles into his palm. CUTE DATASTORM AMIRITE?!?!?!

14. Who kisses the hardest?

DEFINITELY Ryoken. hot damn lmao. 

15. Who wakes up first?

Ryoken. He wakes up at super weird hours too like boi do u even sleep. 

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Yusaku~ <3 also he definitely tries to keep Ryoken in bed with him too lmao. 

17. Who says I love you first?

ok this is kind of a tough call, but Yusaku, I’d think. 

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

Yusaku definitely leaves notes for Ryoken <3 Just a simple “have a great day ^w^” usually suffices lmao.

....yes Yusaku would def write ^w^ don’t change my mind.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

ok so originally I was gonna put Yusaku and leave it at that, but then I realized that it’s possible BOTH of them are hopeless in the cooking department. But, I guess Yusaku would still be my answer b/c at least he knows how to read the instructions on microwavable stuff. 

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

RYOKEN.....AND HIS PICK UP LINES ARE LITERALLY SO BAD.....LMAO. But of course Yusaku loves them + falls for them every time b/c of course he does.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Yeah still Ryoken dlsafaklsfja. Followed by Yusaku blushing like mad. 

25. Who needs more assurance?

Ryoken...... Good thing Yusaku is an understanding cotton candy boi 💖

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

they’re like. super big into FaceTime (or whatever the VRAINS universe equivalent app would be) whenever both of them are up to talking a lot that way (which isn’t often b/c lmao introverts.) But they both know they need their alone time, so.

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

......hello darkness my old friend..... (EVEN THO I TECHNICALLY DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS BUT. alas. I am a fic writer.) 

anyway y’all remember how VRAINS used to emphasize that Yusaku had nightmares for a decade about the Lost Incident? 

well, considering Dr. Kogami (fuck him) let his own son listen to the sounds of screaming children as they’re electrocuted, I’m damn sure Ryoken has nightmares about that and has problems sleeping b/c of it, even having a few panic attacks. Yusaku can help him with those (b/c he’s been there), but he’s not sure what else to do other than be like “Ryoken pls go to therapy I beg you.”

(but Ryoken refuses to go b/c he really thinks talking about it w/ a complete stranger makes it worse)

anyway super unrelated to this entire meme, but wow, fuck you Dr. Kogami. 

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

ok but relating to the above, imagining Ryoken finally decides to go to therapy b/c Yusaku keeps insisting. And with the first few sessions, Ryoken gets worn out with every session b/c “wow emotions I didn’t know I had.” But Yusaku, being the real sweet boi that he is, always waits for him and always gives him a long hug. \ .D. / YAY HUGS. 

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 71-72

These goddamn chapters are so long I want to d ie

The Queen of the Fae was exactly as Aelin remembered. Swirling dark robes, a beautiful pale face beneath onyx hair, red lips set in a faint smile

Of course Maeve is also drop dead gorgeous. Somebody gotta put a cap on the amount of beauty in SJM’s novels, it’s becoming too much.

With [Maeve’s] attention elsewhere, Lorcan took up a place at Aelin’s side—as if they were somehow allies in this, would fight back-to-back. Aelin didn’t bother to say anything to him.

I mean, Lorcan being on your side gives you a much better chance of rescuing Elide, but sure Alien, be like that.

That ripple of Lorcan’s power the day Ansel’s fleet had closed in … [Aelin]’d known it was a summoning. The same way she’d summoned the Valg to Skull’s Bay. She’d refused to immediately explain Ansel’s presence, wanting to enjoy the surprise of it, and he had summoned Maeve’s armada to take on what he’d believed to be an enemy fleet. To save Elide.

This seems kinda weird to me? Elide has stated to Lorcan numerous times that she’s on Alien’s side, so wouldn’t Maeve consider her a threat and an enemy? Why would Lorcan summon her to save Elide, then? But whatever, the less time we dwell on shitty writing, the quicker we get this shitshow over with.

Elide was trembling; every bone, every pore was trembling

Every pore??? Lmfao is SJM just giving up at this point?? She can’t shoehorn in sexual references when her protag is confronting the villain so she wants to just get it over with.

Lorcan betrays them and Alien is shocked, but like... why are y’all surprised Lorcan was literally only with you guys for Elide, he has no reason to like anyone else in Alien’s group of jackasses.

Flame danced at Aelin’s fingertips. No. Her magic had been emptied, still hovered near burnout.

Maeve kick her ass please I am begging you, wipe the fucking floor with her

Maeve returned Aelin’s smile. “(...)Of course, the fools didn’t realize that when you had drained yourself on their armies, I’d be waiting. You were already exhausted after putting out the fires I had my armada ignite to tire you on Eyllwe’s coast. It was a convenience that Lorcan gave your precise location and saved me the energy of tracking you down myself.” A trap. An enormous, wicked trap. To drain Aelin’s power over days— weeks.

Alien’s tiny mind is fucking blown by this but no fucking shit!!! You’re a dumbass who thinks wasting her magic on shooting fireworks out of her ass is a good idea, of course someone would notice and take advantage of you!! Does Alien even have a goddamn brain???

“The armada was a precaution. Just in case the ilken didn’t arrive for you to wholly drain yourself … I figured a few hundred ships would make for good kindling until I was ready.” To sacrifice [Maeve’s] own fleet—or part of it—to gain one prize … This was madness. The queen was utterly insane.

I mean. Maeve is an evil bloodthirsty monster, but she’s way smarter than any of these dumbasses. Honestly, I’m starting to root for her. She figured out her enemy’s weakness and used it against them, which is more brain power than Alien is capable of.

Flame slammed outward, red and golden—just as a wall of darkness lashed for Aelin. The impact shook the world. Even Manon was thrown on her ass.

Love how SJM tries to make this showdown all ~epic and uhmayzing~ but then throws in Manon falling flat on her ass. The rivalry between Maeve and Alien is barely developed so I’m hardly excited for Maeve to kick Alien’s ass. Makes me wish I could be reading Death Note instead, now there’s a good power play between rival characters.

Lorcan grabs Elide while Maeve and Alien duke it out and he tries to get her to run.

[Elide] would not. She’d sooner die than flee like a coward, not when Aelin was going to the mat for all of them, when—

Going to the mat? Wtf??? Yes I know it’s an expression of struggling/fighting until defeated or victorious, but this completely threw me out of the story when I read it. This is a (supposedly) medieval setting, and this saying just seems out of place in this setting.

A whip of black sliced into Aelin. She went down. And Elide thought the impact of Aelin Galathynius’s knees hitting the sand might have been the most horrible sound she’d ever heard.

Elide was literally enslaved in a tower and abused by her uncle but seeing some stupid queen she barely knows getting the shit kicked out of her is the worst thing she’s ever witnessed. Okay, SJM, okay. Elide deserves so much better than to be reduced to a fangirl to splooge over Alien.

Aelin crawled backward, blood sliding from her right nostril. Dripping on her white shirt.

*clenches fist* fragmentsssssss. A comma or the word and would’ve sufficed better there.

Aelin tried to rise. Tried, but her legs had given out. The Queen of Terrasen panted, fire flickering like dying embers around her.

I’ll admit, I rather like the symbolism of the embers dying out around her, highlighting how she’s utterly failed and gotten her ass whooped. Very nice.

Fenrys and Gav roll up to the party while Maeve continues to beat Alien. I know it’s cruel to say, but I’m rather enjoying Alien getting her arrogant ass whooped after unfairly winning literally every confrontation with no effort in this novel.

But Maeve let the darkness around Aelin part. She was curled on her side, bleeding from both nostrils now, more blood dribbling from her panting mouth.

Considering she’s getting whipped and stabbed by black magic, I think she should be bleeding from actual wounds than having just a nosebleed lmao. Maeve starts grilling Gav.

“Did I or did I not tell you to execute Lorcan on sight?” “There were … circumstances that prevented it from happening. We tried.” “Yet you failed. Am I not supposed to discipline my blood-bonded who fail me?” Gavriel lowered his head. “Of course—we will accept it. And I will also take on the punishment you intended for Aelin Galathynius.”

NOOOOO I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD SJM IF YOU KILL OFF GAV FOR ALIEN TO LIVE I WILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU

So Maeve kicks Gav out of her court and dishonors him, but he lives, thank god. If Gav ends up dying in this series I’m gonna have to have a long angry chat with SJM. Gav basically disappears for the rest of the scene even though he’s right there? Whatever spares him from the agony of this shitty book I guess.

Elide splooges about what a badass assassin Alien was and how she’ll wait for the right moment to strike, before Maeve removes all of Alien’s weapons for that exact reason. My sides hurt from the fucking cackling I did at that. Can’t believe I am about to stan Maeve, but she’s a ruthless, badass, calculating villain who is capable of thinking about things other than sex. Nothing but respect for my evil queen.

“What a powerhouse you two would be—[Aelin] and Prince Rowan. And any offspring of that union …” A vicious smirk. “You and Rowan could rule this continent if you wished. But your children … your children would be powerful enough to rule an empire that could sweep the world.”

Ungh, c’mon Maeve, I know you’re just fucking with Alien, but don’t make me read that garbage. Can’t wait until there’s a sequel series to Thr0ne of glass about Alien’s goblin kids being even more uber powered special snowflakes than their mother. C’mon, you know SJM would.

“It was so easy to tug on the right psychic thread that day Rowan saw Lyria at the market. To shove him down that other path, to trick those instincts. A slight altering of fate.” (...) Maeve said, “So your mate was given to another. And I let him fall in love, let him get her [pregnant]. And then I broke him. No one ever asked how those enemy forces came to pass by his mountain home.”

Great, so Lyria was nothing but a plot point to get Ratlin together now? Fuck off SJM, stop reducing your other characters as nothing but plot points for your precious OTP. Lyria deserved so much better than this.

“[Rowan] took the blood oath without question. And I knew that whenever you were born, whenever you’d come of age … I’d ensure that your paths crossed, and you’d take one look at each other and I’d have you by the throat. Anything I asked for, you’d give to me. Even the keys. For your mate, you could do no less. You almost did that day in Doranelle.”

Lmfao I love how one of the main selling points fans use for this series were “it depicts love accurately, Alien has more than one love interest!1″ and SJM fucking killed any chance of using that as a positive of the series hahahahaha I am actually fucking dying. Chaol, Dorito, and Sam didn’t mean shit because her one true love was Rowboat all long. Couldn’t have written a shittier plot twist if I tried, SJM, hats off to you. That deserves a slow clap.

Maeve ignored [Elide pleading]. “Well? When did you know [Rowan was her mate]?” “At Temis’s temple,” Aelin admitted, glancing to Manon. “The moment the arrow went through his shoulder. Months ago.”

Nothing turns me on more than my abusive boyfriend almost dying by an arrow to the shoulder. I know, I know, the mating bond in AC0TAR is different than the ones in T0G, but still.

Maeve shrugged. “If it’s any consolation, Aelin, you would have had a thousand years with Prince Rowan. Longer.”

Go tf off, Maeve!!!! I’d read an entire book of Maeve just ripping Alien a new one tbh

Turns out Alien is due to Settle in five years or so. What a relief, SJM’s precious Mary Sue won’t ever have to grow, god forbid, old and ugly! Phew, really dodged a bullet there!

Maeve calls out Cairn, the asshole dude Lorcan brought up many chapters prior.

A handsome, brown-haired warrior walked toward them from the cluster of escorts. Handsome, if it weren’t for the sadistic cruelty singing in his blue eyes.

So is he handsome or not, SJM? These two sentences are so contradictory. Maeve gives Alien a choice whether to come willingly or to refuse and let Elide be dragged along. Alien is a selfish shitlord, but she cares about Elide despite barely knowing her, so we all know which she’ll probably choose.

Next chapter, finally, holy shit that one was so long I had to skim most of it.

Aelin’s body hurt. Everything hurt. Her blood, her breath, her bones. There was no magic left. Nothing left to save her.

It’s funny how this is framed as we’re supposed to feel bad for poor Alien but I’m laughing my ass off. Act like a little shit, get hit, Alien.

Aelin simply nodded at the Fae Queen. Her acceptance and surrender.

Surprise, surprise. I’ll at least give Alien a little credit for considering the safety of somebody else besides herself or Rowboat’s Fae peen. Man, the bar is set pretty low, eh?

And because she had won, Maeve even loosened her power’s grip on Aelin’s bones. Allowed Aelin to turn to Elide and say, “Go with Manon. She will take care of you.” Elide began crying, shoving away from Lorcan. “I’ll go with you, I’ll come with you—”

Wtf Elide, no, you’re smarter than this!!!! Alien is sacrificing herself so you can be free, you run and get Alien’s comrades and then you have a chance to free Alien afterwards!! Goddamnit SJM you’re making me repulsed by Elide because all she is now is a tool to fawn over Alien dhfkhfksdh I'm so goddamn mad

Aelin’s soul splintered as she saw the iron box the escorts now carried between them. An ancient, iron coffin. Big enough for one person. Crafted for her.

Oof, so there’s the coffin bit I’ve been hearing about. Can’t really say I’m sorry for Alien. Yeah I know that’s mean, but she’s a massive unlikable selfish asshole who gets everything handed to her without her doing any work, so forgive me for not feeling bad when she finally gets a good deserved kick in the bottom.

“And tell Rowan,” Aelin said, fighting her own sob, “that I’m sorry I lied. But tell him it was all borrowed time anyway. Even before today, I knew it was all just borrowed time, but I still wish we’d had more of it.”

Again, good concept, just wasted on an absolute shit tier ship. Someone write an AU of this but with a good ship, yeah? And, y’know, rewrite most of the plot so it makes sense.

Maeve lowered the mask and drawled to Aelin, “Rumor claims you will bow to no one, Heir of Fire.” That serpentine smile. “Well, now you will bow to me.” She pointed to the sand. Aelin obeyed.

I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am, but ahhh feels so good to read Alien get taken down a peg or two after being so irritatingly arrogant! Feels good, feels organic.

“Take off your shirt.” Aelin tugged her shirt out of her pants and slung it over her head, tossing it in the sand beside her. Then she removed the flexible cloth around her breasts.

So.... a bra, essentially? Is she wearing a bra? Or was SJM unsure of whether or not medieval women wore bras and was like “Ehhhh I’ll describe it as just a cloth, that way nobody can point fingers at me for shitty world building!”

Aelin didn’t fight as [the Fae warriors] each gripped her by an arm and hauled her up. Spread her arms wide. The sea air kissed her breasts, her navel.

Man, given how there’s only a few chapters left, this may be the last unnecessary focus on a female character’s breasts we get in this novel. And it’s right before our main character endures a harsh whipping. Oh SJM, you never disappoint.

Cairn halted. [Aelin] felt him studying the tattoo on her back. Rowan’s loving words, written there in the Old Language. Cairn snorted. Then she felt him revel in how he’d destroy that tattoo.

Evidently, SJM never learned what nuanced characters are. Cairn whips Alien some until Maeve orders them to chuck Alien into the iron coffin. Manon peaces out with Elide, and I hope SJM lets them run away with Abraxos to a better novel.

Time—[Aelin] was grateful Elena had given her that stolen time. Grateful she had met them all, that she had seen some small part of the world, had heard such lovely music, had danced and laughed and known true friendship. Grateful that she had found Rowan. She was grateful.

Another good example of good concept that’s wasted on a shitty character. This should be breaking my heart, but it’s about Alien and I fucking hate Alien more than almost any other fictional character. So alas, I’m left just feeling hallow and tired.

So Aelin Galathynius dried her tears. And did not fight when Maeve strapped that beautiful iron mask over her face.

Seems odd Alien would describe what is essentially an object meant to torture her as beautiful, but alright. We’re almost done folks, buckle up for the final leg of this shitstorm of a journey.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 9]

Eight badges have been earned! All that’s left is the plot, the Elite Four, and possibly some other stuff I haven’t decided on that gets us through the rest of the map!

Our starting roster, in its current order:

Batman, Lv. 48 (Escavalier)

Palm, Lv. 51 (Breloom)

Ptera, Lv. 46 (Archeops)

Frogger, Lv. 47 (Seismitoad)

Fido, Lv. 49 (Entei)

Gelding, Lv. 47 (Tornadus)

Possibly the end of this wild adventure awaits, so awaaaaay we go!

First up is, as tradition dictates, someone immediately bothering me the second I walk out of the Gym.

Yay!

Only if you actually described how to do that, I completely missed it. I caught something about directions to Victory Road, which I already sort of knew about thanks to trying to avoid the plot earlier, but nothing about bringing back dead things. ...Wait, are the dragons dead? Or just rocks?

Well luckily, I don’t really care either way.

Professor Juniper walks us over to the edge of town, and asks if we regret going on this journey.

...I wanted to say no just so I could see what the dialogue would be like, but that... no. That would be too mean. I couldn’t possibly. Professor Juniper is a kind lady who gives us sweet stuff.

SPEAKING OF.

This is intended for Zekrom.

I think I might go ahead and use it as intended, honestly. Fighting Zekrom could result in one of my team dying, and I believe the fight is mandatory. Since Zekrom is not touched by the Randomizer, I will not give it a nickname, rendering it ineligible, but catching it is safest, and it is my belief that Zekrom will be the first catchable pokemon in the area it appears. So if I wanted, it could be eligible. But I really think I want to stick with randoms only.

...By the way. Is the roadwork on the right side of town done?

Curses.

I guess the plot truly is calling us now.

Then on my way to the Victory Road area, the attendant who keeps the... hell, I don’t know what they’re called. I went with liminal space last time. They aren’t bridges. Waypoints? Anyway, the attendant says that there’s some sort of storm going on at Route 7.

-looks at Gelding-

Gee.

I wonder.

What could it be.

Let’s go avoid the plot and investigate!

It was a dark and stormy night.

Which pokemon could you possibly be speaking of, mysterious old lady.

She invites me inside for soup and gives me another mythology lesson. This time about the Legendary Thundurus. It creates thunderstorms. She also gives me a note on where to find it when, but that’s really not a concern of this run.

But thanks for the soup.

Hey.

Gelding.

Can you guess. Which cloud pokemon legendary of this gen. Is my favorite?

Aw no, the thing I’m not allowed to catch flew away. Darn.

Okay, back to plot and Victory Road.

Dang it, Cheren. I was not meaning to refer to you with that remark.

Bianca’s here to watch, but I couldn’t get a proper screencap of it.

...Batman is setting a record for flinching against Cheren’s Unfezant. Meanwhile, Unfezant spams Detect interspersed with flinching moves and my sanity goes down the drain. But eventually, the evil is defeated.

Liepard goes down without a fuss, but Batman’s complete lack of Speed means her HP is lower than I’d like, so for Meganium we’re giving Ptera a chance to stretch his wings. That goes well, and Simisage is up next with similar results.

Battle over.

See Cheren, this is why you’re one of my best friends.

Ha ha ha ha Bianca gave me Max Revives.

Ha.

Ha.

-sobs silently-

Your attempts at help are appreciated, Bianca. Stay wonderful.

They both see me off with words of kindness, because the people who make these games realized at some point that the people who play them could really use some friends.

Or so I like to think. ...That sounds sort of mean, I guess, but it truly is nice to have rival characters who are your actual friends. X & Y are even more blatant about it, and I really, really liked that part of them. Go team friendship.

Now then.

It’s time...

to

d-d-d-d-duel!

Or something. Onward!

This gen is committed to the power of Aesthetic, and I respect that.

It’s just so pretty.

Wait, crap, this pretty place has grass.

Uh.

...Rules for doubles?

...Oh to heck with it, the pretty badge gardens do not count as places. I’m just. Gonna faint you guys. Because I’m too lazy to think through the trouble of catching one of you.

Still pretty.

Admittedly, this one is sort of weird.

...And the music has gone major, major Wind Waker. I own that soundtrack. It is one of the most expensive ones I ever bought myself, and this music is giving me feels, man.

This gen is focused on all the right things and its wonderful.

The guy standing in front of this gate mentions that each gate is like its own world, so, if we do happen upon another pokemon in another gate that is easier to acquire, I’m going to count it as a different space.

...Maybe.

Where does the map say I’m at?

Oh, actually, I’m still in Route 10, so the Ariados and Sentret were out anyway.

Even though I just said that the gates count as different worlds. I am a hypocrite and an opportunist.

Honestly, I just wanted to check if I’d used up my Victory Road slot or not.

Hey Clay.

Clay.

You know who didn’t skimp on aesthetic values?

The Gym Leader who’s also a model.

Maybe you could learn a thing or two from her section.

(Still, A+ glowy green rocks.)

At this point I’m just really convinced that someone working on this game really loves Wind Waker. This person playing it obviously does.

BRYCEN DO NOT PULL THIS ICE PUZZLE NONSENSE IN THE FINAL QUARTER. UNCOOL BRO. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MASTER OF COOL. REINSTATE YOUR CHILL TO BETTER LEVELS.

(Ice pretty.)

I can’t actually complain about dragon sculptures. They are awesome and worthy of love, even if the color value is low. It’s not all about pretty. The feel matters just as much, and by golly, this is the ancient feel of dragon power right here.

So of the eight...

I’m torn between the garden with the pretty bridge and the electric zone.

Think I gotta give it to the butler squad. You mastered the pretty.

Victory Road! Officially!

...Am I going to need Bandit for this?

..Well. If I did have Bandit with me, I would be looking at a new teammate.

Sorry little guy, there’s not enough value in attempting to catch you. Maybe next time. If there is ever a next time.

...Oh come on.

Okay, there’s a Simisear. Something to kill.

Actually, at this point, Ptera might be the best pick for the front. Batman’s in secure shape. Meanwhile, the water has Pansear. Careful, that almost feels like a planned random.

Fingers crossed for getting away with not going back to get Bandit. I think this is the gen that’s extra kind about things like HMs, and the Dragonspiral Tower would seem to support that with its easy route (if you have HM) and the long way round (if you don’t). So I’ll just. Keep walking forward.

Besides, if memory serves (obligatory laugh), that boulder is for the quick way back out from somewhere near the top.

This level has Chinchou.

Oh, and I get to slide down cliffs! I’d fully forgotten that!

Outside has Machamp. Is outside a different route?

...Fine, no.

Back inside, we have Baltoy, Kabutops, Dragonite, Clefable (who. hits. with. Sing. because. of. course.), Sentret, Rattata, and Bronzong.

I always liked Kabutops. I think back when the first gen was the only gen, it was one of my top tier favorites. It’s a rock with scythes. What more could a child ask for?

...Okay, see. This? This is why me playing a Nuzlocke is a bad idea. I do stupid things.

Ptera, buddy, I’m sorry I put you so close to death. Have a Hyper Potion. I won’t make you fight any more Bronzong with Gyro Ball. I am very sorry that happened at all, and have no desire for it to happen again.

I’ve avoided thinking about the Elite Four, but this Ace Trainer has a level 45 Stoutland and a level 45 Scolipede. That starts moving well into the danger zone, and this Victory Road, truth be told, is not the greatest spot for grinding.

Outside again, and there’s an Amoongus that might just be a Randomized find.

PP is running low enough that I’m just going to hit a Pokemon Center. It isn’t like I’ll lose much progress. ...Thanks to me cliff sliding down for an item, but I stopped recording every item I picked up a while ago.

(It was a Taunt TM.)

Hey, the first floor has Rufflet, too. More things to get no exp from. And then Voltorb! I like Voltorb.

...I am, however, having a concern about my future prospects. My best option, if I want to go with grinding, seems to be standing outside and slaughtering Machamp.

...I go into another section of cave and find Castform. Then there is Solosis.

Where were all you pre-evolved forms when I started this venture.

Cool, I found a healing.

Elite Four is... Fighting, Psychic... Ghost. Aaaand. And.

I know Alder has Escavalier, Volcanabugthing, and Accelgor (is that the spelling?). He might have an Archeops, but that could also be my memory skipping out on me.

I’m watching TFS play Nuzlockes, and I think one of them said that the typings for the Elite Four cover things not covered by Gyms.

Hey, a Cradily. Look, opportunity everywhere!

...And as I sarcastically spew comments, a Haxorus appears. Yeah, okay.

The first Gym counters your starter, so it’s basically Fire/Grass/Water. Second is Normal (brb sobbing forever). Third is Bug. Fourth is Electric. Fifth is Ground. Sixth is Flying. Seventh is Ice. Eighth is Dragon.

(Gothita is also outside, apparently. Yay.)

What does that leave... Steel, Rock, Dark.

Wait. Grimsley, right? Hell, is it really Dark? That is one really aesthetically... dark arrangement.

(Hi Shaymin. Nice to see you again.)

I keep having to start all over at the bottom because I go item chasing. Maybe I should save the item chasing for after I’m through. And have Bandit with me to push the boulders into being shortcuts.

Would you look at that.

All hidden away on the first floor.

A wild Huntail appears. We’re vaguely getting somewhere. Then we’re back to Sentret and I am back to fretting.

Oooh, a Ninetales.

Now the thing to remember is that I am not going to go cliff sliding. Exploration once Bandit is with us. Now is the time for progress. Not detours.

HA, Ptera has learned Rock Slide! Happy days.

I have no idea which is the right way.

;-;

HEY GUESS WHAT RIGHT WAS WRONG.

Aw, there’s Axew in this section. Best Dragon boy. Though the one I first murdered is a girl. Best Dragon girl.

This Veteran has a level 45 Gigalith. My comfort level with this is low, and Sturdy in the hands of others continues to be an abomination.

Frogger learns Hydro Pump because I have not actually been using Aqua Ring. If I need extra health I’ll just throw an item at him. If I need extra health, I will be in the kind of trouble Aqua Ring isn’t going to solve, anyway.

Fido drops Leer for Fire Fang thanks to the same fight.

Veterans are scary, but great exp.

I HAVE ARRIVED.

Okay, yes, important battles.

But.

Bandit, it’s time for your walk.

Fido, I think you’re in the box for a while. It would be Gelding, because Ptera covers his specialties, but Gelding knows Fly, and we’re going to be doing a lot of that as we skid down the mountain.

Before I walk right back out, I just need to say that this is one hell of a venue.

This gen’s aesthetic game is so on point.

Vullaby has been found on the giant mountain of maze. Maze of mountain? Horrorfest? Place. Also Pupitar.

Batman gets to be in front for a while. The spawns seem to be favoring her a little more at the moment.

This is the... Ground/Fighting beast’s chamber? I think? Can’t access at the moment, and will never need for any reason in this run.

...

Sigh.

Anyway, cliff sliding has produced a Nugget so far.

A wild Taillow appears. Followed by Remoraid.

Batman has to leave the front so I can actually run from all of this. Gelding, it’s your turn on the disappointment.

Cool, a Dragon Claw TM.

Whoa, a Seadra.

...Okay, yes, I’m past caring. There’s a limit to how much I’m okay with being delayed. Usually wild pokemon every five steps can at least be useful, but that’s not exactly the case of late.

I.

...

I. will stick with that as my statement.

Look, an Electrode!

...I was going to attack it, then it occurred to me that it might know Explosion. Quietly walking away it is!

I’m finding that a key problem with this exploration is that I find it very easy to end up lost when I’m basically walking in circles. I remember all the various pieces, but don’t remember how they fit together.

In other news, a Bulbasaur is here.

I am. Relatively sure that the original Victory Road has nowhere near this level of variety. I think the Randomizer has some interesting rules regarding cave levels. Most caves change what they have by level, but keep the basic cave set. Victory Road has a lot of separate rooms in this version (and I just met a Rampardos on the water). Not bound by the laws of what is usually found in caves, I think it just assigns every single room (Ferrothorn encountered) a different everything. Because there are [x] number of things meant to be there!

I adore the Randomizer, but this is actually getting to be a little dizzying.

Possibly because I am lost.

And now there is a Flygon.

...Yeah, Flying back to the top for some perspective.

(It’s at this point I start to wonder if I’ve actually covered everything, but I haven’t done the swoopy grey floor sliding, but that might be connected to the room I can’t go in yet.)

Gelding has learned Crunch!

...Look, all that text gets boring without pictures. Let there be meaningless color.

Suddenly, Leavanny.

Here’s a wild thought.

Maybe I don’t care if I miss an item.

-slides down cliff side-

-sees item I don’t have-

...

It’s that Doctor Who gif all over again.

So I slide down from somewhere higher on the right side to get there.

...I have a horrifying thought.

I find those are often right.

...Also Frogger is level 54, pal, you are now off the Exp. Share.

Yeah.

Yeah. That’s.

Don’t ask.

The trick was sliding more to the left of the Ranger hanging out above than I initially did. More to the right, and you get the Nugget I mentioned picking up. More to the left, and you get this.

It’s a TM. Wild Charge.

-waves tiny, battered flag-

How about this. How about we go back to things that are fun!

Like death and dying and being dead!

Okay.

Okay.

It’s going to be fine.

And I guess I have my answer about whether dealing with Team Plasma comes before or after. Castle nonsense post-this. Okay. Right.

I spent a bunch of money on Full Restores.

I also spent a bunch of money on the quirky poke balls they sell up here. Operating under the theory that I’m going to continue this run until I have had the option of catching a thing from every route.

I don’t know. It’s a nice dream.

Look, someone working on this game loves Zelda.

I’m pretty sure my above guesses about who’s got what are correct. I am less clear on who is where. I can’t remember if this begins a trend, or is just a quirk of the gen, but I have the option of picking the order I take them all on in.

Fighting, Dark, Ghost, Psychic.

...That is a really grim lineup.

If I’ve got it right.

Not for me, just. It’s Fighting + all of the sort of. witchy Types. I have a vaguely funny comment about that for later that I might remember unless I’m about to be traumatized.

I think I always took on Ghost girl first, then maybe Psychic girl last? Or was it Dark first? It might have been Dark first?

Let’s do a fun (sad) game. I’ll go clockwise, starting from the far left. Here’s my guess at who’s where:

Dark

Ghost

Fighting

Psychic

There. The stage is set for laughing at me.

............

I did not need to bother with a stage.

I went to take this screenshot with the intent of showing off my team without throwing more bullet points up before the final battle(s). The very first thing I noticed is that Gelding is missing health.

I think to myself, that’s weird, I was just in the Pokemon Center.

Yes. Yes, I was.

Guess what you forgot to do.

It’s not. terrible. Gelding’s missing 5 PP for Air Slash, but I have spare Super Potions from that time I mentioned buying Super Potions.

Anyway.

With that sterling start.

Let’s go find out what’s behind door number one.

Fuck it is Ghost girl first.

Maybe. That will be my loss for the session?

So. I have choices here. Ptera and Gelding both know Crunch. Fido knows Bite, but since none of these guys have STAB with Dark, Crunch buddies is the way to go. I’m also pretty darn sure she has a Jellicent, and there’s... something about its Ability. I can’t remember what. Same with the Mummy thing. Or maybe they just have moves that make it good to switch.

...It’s just now hitting me how much I played this gen. I have done the coming fights so many times. This is the first gen I really did EV training and IV breeding, and I did what I could to get all my choices up to level 100. I can’t believe I forgot that.

I think she starts with the Mummy thing. Which. That’s not its name. Something with a C? Mummy is its ability, though. I think. That might make Ptera a good start. His ability is used to keep him balanced (Defeatist lowers stats when his HP goes below half), and I don’t want balanced. I want obscene and broken creatures who I don’t have to watch die.

Cursed Body! That’s the Jellicent’s thing.

.I don’t remember what it does.

Okay.

Ptera up front, no item because I don’t want Acrobatics to lose out on its damage. Gelding can have the Lucky Egg, because I’m pretty sure this is a fight that I end up switching a lot over, and Palm will have an Amulet Coin because I like money and know I want him to take out the Jellicent.

Plan?

Sounds like.

Shauntal sends out a level 48 Cofagrigus, aka the mummy thing. So my usual level advantages aren’t going to be as steep, but I think part of getting your pick of who you face first means that there is a stable base for all their leveling. It shouldn’t get worse until Alder.

Or possibly N and the plot posse.

I’m not used to the Elite Four being wrapped up in the Team stuff.

Ptera’s faster, and Crunch does more than half. Cofragigus uses Wil-o-Wisp (which I might be spelling wrong; I’m not allowed guides and passed the text bubble because I figured of course I knew how to spell it), so Ptera is now burned. That’s not great for his damage output, but he still has enough to get the job done with one more Crunch.

Jellicent is up next so I was going to have to switch anyway. I’ll just go over to Gelding instead of Ptera after Palm (hopefully) makes quick work of the Jellicent.

It’s level 48 as well.

Seed Bomb just barely doesn’t get the faint, and Jellicent’s damage does 57 damage. Palm’s at 89/146 after one hit, and we’re in scary town. Palm’s faster, so even if Shauntal heals, the Jellicent should be done before this is a problem, but I do not like seeing massive chunks of health vanish in one hit.

Unless I’m inflicting it. Then it’s okay.

Yeah, she goes with a Full Restore.

The next Seed Bomb succeeds in slaying the beast, which is a nice bonus I wasn’t expecting, and whatever my worries about the Jellicent’s ability, nothing happened, so that’s good.

...Ah. Chandelure’s up next. That one I did forget about.

Want to put all those extra levels to work, pal?

And yeah. That is a level 50 Chandelure. That thing with obscene Special Attack.

Frogger’s Water/Ground. With a massive HP pool. He should be fine.

...

-picks Hydro Pump instead of Surf to try to get it done with quickly-

Chandelure goes first because Chandelure is amazing and Frogger is really more of a tank, and it does 73 damage because this game doesn’t care about my comfort levels, but lucky me, Hydro Pump’s accuracy does not fail, and that’s enough to take the best flaming ghost chandelier down.

Shauntal’s last pokemon is a Golurk. Ghost/Ground, right?

This is uncomfortable. My natural inclination is to spam Water against all things Water is super effective against. That is just a thing I am prone to. I also put a great deal of faith in Palm. I love Breloom, even when it has the wrong Nature.

But the thing is, we’re basically at the stage where my pokemon can take a hit, but if that hit is followed by a critical, they’re goners. Frogger and Palm have both taken heavy hits. Ptera hasn’t taken a huge hit, but he has no Defense and is BRNed.

Putting in a Flying thing against a Ground thing feels incredibly counterintuitive. Ptera surpasses that by being obscenely powerful. Gelding does not have that faith.

Nonetheless, I think maybe the safest thing to do here is to swap Frogger out instead of hoping he can one-shot the Golurk. I... think Golurk is another tanky type. None of its Ground moves can hit Gelding. Ghost will still pack a wallop, but. Well. I am guessing Gelding can live through one hit, and hopefully that will be enough.

Fido and Batman aren’t even options because they will definitely die, so.

Let’s go for it.

At least we’re back to 48s?

Crunch does over half, so even though Shadow Punch does over 60 damage we should be in the clear.

-collapses in heap-

I feel like I’m not doing enough justice to Shauntal, since my mind is very much not on anything but the battles at the moment. She’s got a cute design, and Ghost trainer novelist is wonderful. I think she quotes different passages from her books at you depending on when you fight her. Or she just switches through the lines at will. She’s a good character, and I really love the way she’s decorated her room.

...So I’m healing my pokemon and realizing another thing I forgot to do. I forgot to buy Full Heals. I used my last Burn Heal on Ptera just now. I think I have a small supply of Full Heals thanks to what I’ve grabbed walking around, but. Heh. Planning fail everywhere.

Okay, healed up and ready to go to door number two.

Yeah, I got Ghost girl and Dark boy swapped. Whoops.

The plan here. Is for Palm to murder them all. Palm gets Lucky Egg and first slot, Batman gets Amulet Coin. I believe Liepard will be coming out first, and I know he has a Bisharp.

...Drawing a complete blank on the others.

HEY HOLD THE FUCK UP WHY DO YOU HAVE THE SCRAFTY.

(He has a level 48 Scrafty.)

It’s Dark/Fighting, but I could’ve sworn that was the Fighting guy’s thing.

...Wait.

Is the Fighting guy even this gen?

Uh oh.

Well. Palm’s not a terrible choice for this. I don’t really want Ptera near a Fighting thing. ...Gelding could have handled this one, but oh well.

Mach Punch or Sky Uppercut is the question. I favor Mach Punch because it doesn’t miss, but Sky Uppercut’s accuracy really is not that bad. I think Sky Uppercut will do enough damage to maybe force healing, so... one then the other? Sky Uppercut gets first dibs in case of crit?

Scrafty’s very securely in the orange, but Palm is at 84/146.

I don’t know why I didn’t grind before this, but it’s a little late to keep finding ways to criticize my choices.

Grimsley uses the Full Restore, Palm uses Mach Punch, and yeah, Scrafty’s still in the green from that. Another Sky Uppercut hits, and Scrafty’s down.

Liepard’s up next.

Liepard is not nearly so heavy on damage, and Palm’s Defense is not bad. I think it’s safe to try, even though I’ll have to eat a Fake Out.

Wait, no, I have Batman. Batman’s swapped in.

Level 48 Liepard. Uses Fake Out, does 6 damage because Batman is the damn Batman.

...Liepard uses Attract.

Did you know. That through sheer happenstance. Batman is the sole female member of my team? And thanks to pokemon mechanics, falling in love as a status problem is purely a male/female dynamic?

“Batman is immobilized by love” oh please.

Thankfully that only takes up one turn. Then Batman remembers that Batman does not have time for love and goes to back to the wars. Thank goodness for emotional stunting.

Ugh. Now things are awkward. Krookodile is up next. That. Is worrying. I can’t remember if it or Bisharp is the level 50, but normally I like sending Palm up against the Dark croc line. But those things pack a major punch. Crits mean death. Batman has a Type disadvantage against Earthquake, which it most likely has.

....Heeeeeeey, Frogger...

Oh, right. That. Yeah, let the Special Attacker handle it.

I think I’ll go with Surf first. I also think Krookodile outSpeeds Frogger. So this. Should be. You know.

Yep, Krookodile uses Earthquake, and 79 HP is gone.

...But Surf can one-shot, so sweet.

I guess something that I have failed to keep in mind is that Frogger is competing with giants. In all fair assessment, my team is stacked. Frogger is one of the few standard team models from this gen. ...Even though a surprising amount of my team is. from this gen.

Good boy, Frogger.

And then there’s the Bisharp. Which is likely to be level 50.

Palm does 4x STAB damage to it.

Bisharp is a prime Attack pokemon.

Bisharp is also 2x weak to Fire.

Fido has yet to take a hit.

Sorry Palm, we’re playing this cautious.

Yep, level 50 Bisharp.

Fido uses Flamethrower and it is down. Awesome.

That’s two down.

Everyone’s healed.

Door number three time.

DAMN IT.

Yeah, fine, I got none of the order right.

Ptera’s out in front, no item in case of Acrobatics. Batman with Lucky Egg, Gelding with Amulet Coin.

Deep breath now.

Throughout all my memories of these fights, I definitely did not remember your name was Caitlin.

Level 48 Reuniclus out first. I think she also has a Gothowhatsit. Her others are... Things I should remember better but don’t.

Ptera uses Crunch, leaving Reuniclus in the red.

..

.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN REUNICLUS USED THUNDER.

Um.

UM.

I cannot begin to express how much this is a very bad problem.

...Fuck, that’s bad.

I will get to sad later maybe. For now it’s just. I am in so much trouble.

Gelding’s out on account of Thunder. Batman’s up.

Caitlin uses a Full Restore, naturally.

Batman uses Twineedle (wanted the poison just because/in case), and that actually faints it. Gothitelle’s up next, and honestly, if I’m right about the next guy being Fighting, I have no business risking Gelding. So.

Level 50 Gothitelle.

I’m just going to hope X-Scissor one-shots it.

Oh look, it has Thunderbolt.

...Why?

I get that Special Attack moves are great and all, and Thunderbolt and Thunder are both powerful Special Attack moves. But they don’t cover up a particular weakness. Water and Flying? That’s not stuff Psychic has a hard time with.

......No I’m not upset shut up.

X-Scissor gets it down to the very, very red, so Caitlin uses another Full Restore, giving me a free shot. Twineedle again in hope of poisoning. Success, and Gothitelle’s back in red. Another Thunderbolt, and Batman cleans up.

Next up is Sigilyph.

...I don’t know about Thunderbolt, but I think that thing has Ice Beam, and Bug is good against Psychic, but not Flying.

Fido, you’re my best best here.

STAB or 2x Bite, STAB or 2x Bite...

Wait. That’s math. Math I can actually do. Flamethrower beats Bite.

Fido’s faster, and that gets it down to orange (it’s level 48, by the way). It uses Psychic, and that does 64 damage. One more Flamethrower to finish it.

Oh.

And our final contestant is a Musharna.

Special Defense is too high. Fido’s use isn’t terrible, but. Then there’s Batman, with 82 HP left. That goes a long way when you’re made of Steel, but Fido does have Bite.

...Leave Fido in, if Fido gets slept, spend a turn healing Batman and then swap Batman in. Hopefully Fido does more damage than I expect. By a lot.

Level 48 Musharna incoming.

Bite leaves Musharna in the green, but I think two more will actually finish it, and more importantly, Fido is faster and Musharna flinched. So. Not a bad start.

Another Bite and Musharna is red, which... I hope Caitlin’s used her Full Restore allotment. Musharna uses Psychic, which scares me to death but only leaves Fido in the orange.

Please. Do not. Use a Full Restore.

Oh good.

Fido gets the final Bite, and.

And.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I have no ace for the last Elite Four member. Assuming I’m right about him being Fighting. I have Gelding, and things without bonuses. ...Fuck, that’s uncomfortable. And that’s without taking Alder into consideration. Which... depending on N and plot, and.

This is really bad. Team wiping is a serious concern here.

...Sorry I didn’t remember the Thunder, Ptera. You’ve been amazing.

Great.

I’ll guess... Mienfoo’s evolved form, the pillar behemoth thing, Sawk and Throh.

At least one of those will know a Rock move.

No Lucky Egg. Gelding’s equipped with a Sharp Beak.

-taps keyboard-

Well it’s not like there’s a way out, anyway.

So before I was really overwhelmed by everything I love dying, I had the thought that every member of the Elite Four is some kind of goth, and then this here is their jock boyfriend.

It was more amusing back then.

Ghost goth is cute goth, Dark goth is dramatic goth, Psychic sleeping beauty goth is prep goth, and then there’s Marshal.

Yeah, I don’t know, let’s just. Yeah.

Level 48 Throh.

.Air Slash misses, and Throh knows Stone Edge!

Gelding has 53 HP.

Fido isn’t an option because Rock. Frogger’s a tank, but a squishy one. Palm won’t be able to dish out much damage. Batman’s Bug escapes Fighting being super effective, but. Batman’s greatest strength is damage, and she can’t do that against this team.

...Frankly, I’m shocked Gelding could survive Stone Edge. There’s no way that works against Sawk. But against Sawk, there would be a chance of fainting it in one hit. Throh does less damage, but has more HP. I never had delusions of getting it down in one hit, but I thought I would at least be able to hit it.

This is going to be a switch thing.

Frogger has one point less in Defense than Palm, but 50 more HP. Frogger’s in. Ground typing keeps Stone Edge from doing too much. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure that Throh does the least damage of everything on Marshal’s team. That means that this is where I can take hits and heal, but it’s going to switch to Fighting moves, probably, and those will be worse for Frogger and--

I am going to heal Gelding.

Throh uses something called Storm Throw, and. That’s actually not a move I recognize. I have Frogger use Surf, because in the ludicrous imaginings where I survive this, I want to have Hydro Pump available.

...That’s a dumb reason actually, I have Ether and Elixir.

On the other hand, Surf hits. So.

That puts Throh in the orange, but Throh uses Payback. Oh! But that’s a Dark move! I don’t know why I thought it was Fighting for a second. Yeah, great, so Frogger’s still alive, and is going to get the faint.

Enter the Sawk problem.

Frogger’s at 79 HP. I need to heal him if I want to use him. I think Gelding can get Sawk down in one hit.

...I just remembered that Gelding has Fly.

Wow, okay, that changes things.

So I’m pretty sure Gelding will be faster than Sawk. If I’m wrong, Gelding is dead. If I keep Frogger in, there’s a good chance he can take a few punches, especially since he got Throh down to orange in one blow.

But Sawk does more damage than Throh.

If I’m wrong about Frogger being able to take the hits, I lose Frogger. If I’m wrong about the Speed, I lose Gelding, and then will possibly lose Frogger anyway. ...Then I worry that Stone Edge is one of those moves that can hit Flying opponents, but I don’t... think it is?

...I’ll switch in Gelding.

Gelding is faster, and Stone Edge doesn’t hit in the air. See? It’s all. Fine.

what do you mean Sawk has Sturdy.

um

um

um

oh hey Gelding’s still alive with 37 HP.

Marshal will probably use a Full Restore, which will create the same problem of Sturdy (I... think? I have kind of a dim thought of that being a once-per-fight ability, but that might just be my distant hopes of a fair and just world talking, and I do not trust that). Two Air Slashes in a row is probably my safest move for all involved parties.

Wait, no, scratch that. Gelding has Extrasensory. That does not have Air Slash’s 95 accuracy. So that’s one definite hit, then Fly or another Extrasensory depending on the damage.

Full Restore happens. Extrasensory gets Sawk down to orange, so we’re going to do another of those and hope Sawk doesn’t have a priority move! Which I hadn’t considered until this moment!

I could play it safe and switch to something, but. Really, exposing more of my team to this is not safe.

Oh hey, Marshal went with another Full Restore. By all means man, use them up.

Gelding takes the Sawk down.

And now we have a new problem.

My guess is that everything on this team has Stone Edge. That is a guess born of how everything so far has Stone Edge, as well as the too-late reminder that Stone Edge is really popular for Fighting types to pick up.

Conkeldurr is up next.

In a perfect world, Gelding Flys and it’s all over.

Gelding has 37 HP left, and Conkeldurr is a bit of a beast. All it takes is a sliver of health, and Gelding is gone.

The problem is. Like I said, exposing more of my team to this is not safe. I could switch in Batman and heal up Frogger and Gelding while she takes a few hits, then switch over to Frogger and hope things go like they did with Throh, but. It is not beyond thinking that the two pokemon Marshal has left could just destroy my team at will.

Then there’s the last one. I think. There’s a halfway decent chance it’s faster than Gelding.

-breathes in-

So Extrasensory does 80. 2x that’s 160. Fly does 90, 135 with STAB, then the 2x super effective bonus. That is a lot of damage. 160 got Sawk down to orange, but Sawk’s more of a glass cannon type. Conkeldurr’s. a cannon.

Fido can’t be used to switch in. It’d survive a hit, most likely, but not a crit. Palm could maybe survive a crit, but if I heal, I want to heal Gelding and Frogger. Batman could probably take the hits, but then there’s the problem of what happens to the thing that gets switched in. That lost move could be life or death. By which I mean death.

...I’m going all in on Gelding being a powerhouse.

Level 48 Conkeldurr.

I love how there isn’t a Cry option.

Gelding’s faster, uses Fly, and.

.

Okay so.

It doesn’t hit.

Because Fly.

But Conkeldurr knows Retaliate.

I hate this game. ;-;

....

-buries head in hands-

...M-miss?

-screams a lot forever-

Palm, you have Mach Punch and Marshal’s used two Full Restores. So. That should work?

Level 50 Mienshao. I switch to Batman to heal Frogger, and also possibly to stay, I don’t even know.

...Jump Kick did nearly 70 damage, guess what Batman, you’re switching out!

It does 88 damage to Frogger. Neat. So I’ll just be using Hyper Potions and waiting for Frogger’s Poison Touch to take effect sometime this century. That is my strategy.

.........

I. do not want to talk about how this happened.

Let me tell you how it happened.

I was going through to click yet another Hyper Potion. Because autopilot. Only I did not click the Item menu. I clicked the Fight menu. Still on autopilot, I watch, in horror, as I pick Mud Shot.

Mienshao’s Jump Kick misses and takes half its health.

Mud Shot’s good enough to take the rest.

I’m learning a few things here.

The fact that I’m an idiot is nothing new.

The fact that I routinely underestimate Frogger is my only prayer of surviving what’s next.

Because in case the scoreboard’s somehow been overlooked:

I am in so much trouble.

I don’t even know who I’m fighting next. N? Alder? Ghetsis?

Zekrom?

But you know what I think I remember?

I’m pretty sure that your team gets healed after you face Zekrom. Without you having a say in the matter. That’s... awkward? At best? Ptera and Gelding are not built for doing nothing and dying. I realize they’re both dead, but they did a lot of killing beforehand.

I think I will stick with screaming.

And switching Frogger to the front.

Other things to do: Putting a damn damage boosting item on everyone left instead of trying to pump the Elite Four dry of resources like money and exp.

...Only it turns out I don’t really have many of those kinds of items. Frogger gets Soft Sand, Palm gets Miracle Seed, Fido gets a Shell Bell, and Batman can keep the Lucky Egg.

I don’t foresee this going well.

Team.

Please, please prove me wrong.

I have criminally neglected complimenting aspects of the Elite Four because my head is busy screaming. The dramatics of this many stairs is one such thing that deserve praise. There are others. I might remember them one day.

There are so many stairs, guys.

You know, I’ve realized that if the N and Ghetsis thing is happening now, maybe I don’t have to fight Alder?

That’s a good thing, right?

-grabs popcorn-

Why is this a thing.

“This is Team Plasma’s castle” HOW DOES THAT EXPLAIN ANY OF IT. IS THIS EXPLAINED? I DON’T THINK THE PLOT REALLY CARES BUT I NEED SOMETHING TO FOCUS ON AND THIS IS IT RIGHT NOW. N WHY CAN YOU SPAWN A CASTLE BY ASKING THE SKY FOR IT.

So... Am I maybe going to get a chance to grind before the next big fight?

Dare I hope?

BUT WHY IS THIS HERE.

IT’S TEAM GYM LEADER. KNEEL BEFORE THEIR MIGHT.

Looking at the sets of pairs, I realize that Burgh and Lenora; and Clay and Elesa (please let that be her name) are both established friendship duos between Gym Leaders. It is cool.

Also Bianca asked them to come.

Thank you, friend.

The plot isn’t going to let me leave, is it. This is all just one big stall to make the pain hit that much harder. Geez. Won’t this game think of the people who have self-imposed rules that make everything complicated?

HEY.

Talking to the weird ladies who know N’s tragic backstory healed my pokemon, so now I am walking around with two zombies I need to get rid of kind of right now.

...No disrespect, guys.

...Seriously, where is this PC the Ninja mentioned.

There we go.

A moment of silence for the fallen.

Gelding, I never voice my appreciation of you during these posts, but you always came in handy. Your wonderful Attack stats and diverse movepool was a pleasure to have aboard. When I first caught you, I thought I’d change you out for the next thing I caught. But then I got attached.

You got your comrades this far. I don’t know how long that will last, but thanks.

Ptera... hell, I never really thought you’d go down. You were always this overpowered rockstar. From the second we met. ...You destroyed one of my team prospects. You were always reliable. If I ever wanted to turn my brain off and just expect victory, you were who I put in front.

I really don’t think I can do this without you guys, and I never wanted to.

Goodbye.

Sooo. Access to my PC lets me do away with the problem of zombies. It does not solve the greater problem of the huge trouble I am in. Nothing in my box is a high enough level to assist.

Zekrom is coming up, and I’ll have the option of having him on my team, and he is the first pokemon in this area I’ll have the option of catching.

But the spirit of this run is that everything on my team is randomized. That’s why I ditched my fossil. That’s why I ditched my chimp option.

It’s these four.

I have no idea what happens if I lose and get sent back to a save point inside the castle. Do I just have to keep throwing my box at it until I have no eligible pokemon left and have to declare the Nuzlocke a failure?

.

This section should have been finished a while ago, since I’m apparently wordy when stressed and there are now a lot of words, but I have kept going because. Well.

I think I know what happens next and I do not like it.

...Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

YES.

I CAN GRIND.

[quaintlouise]

#thequinneffect

I spent the morning of Quinn Harper’s birthday angry.

I'd been thinking about how to make the significance of my contribution to #thequinneffect worthy of the importance of Amber in my life. That's not shade at/on (which is correct? I don’t really care, do you? Lololololol. Be Best.) anyone else's participation, it's just that Amber and I share a bond born of tremendous grief. Loneliness. Loss.

We both know that pulsing sternum when people remind us of God's plan.

Thanks, random coworker/neighbor/third cousin on FB who has an affinity for minions (???). But God's plan for this chapter of my life is so sad/hard/cruel that I haven't yet had time to reconcile with all that seeing as this death/diagnosis/devastation hit me three days ago, or three weeks or however long it takes for me to understand, or never understand, or until FMLA runs out.

We know the confusion and sadness at the disappearance of loved ones you'd never imagine would leave your side. The annoyed satisfaction when loved ones act as poorly as you would have predicted. The friends and family who stepped up beyond belief and the acquaintances who did the same and became family. We also know the loneliness that descends once you realize those loved ones need to deal with their own BS that continued or began during your crisis.

Anyway, I was angry at the world. Angry that the Ruszkowski’s have been denied the type of family that seemingly everyone else gets. Angry that my little girl will grow up without her twin. Angry that I got cancer. Angry about the heartbreaking cruelties that leave mothers with empty arms and children without the arms of their mother to hold them. Angry that instead of pinning ideas for Quinn Harper’s first birthday party, Amber is instead bravely trying to find ways to honor her daughter's sweet soul while managing her own sorrow.

I grew surlier as I walked past the windowless steel door at the OBGYN, the one they usher you out of when things go terribly wrong.  

I’m sorry to tell you I have very sad news.

The heaving sobs subside a bit when you are hit with the fresh air from a door you didn’t know existed. Best to keep the waiting area free of the weeping formerly expectant parents, I suppose.

I'm sorry to tell you that you have cancer.

We’ll need to fill you with poison...just enough not to kill you; poison with ingredients of mustard gas and platinum. Then we will take your breasts, uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes and cervix. You’ll need thirty rounds of radiation on those fresh scars. This might keep you alive. There’s also a special pill you can take that will shut down all the rest of your estrogen production! This may be the hardest part of treatment. Surgical menopause at 38 is gonna f with your head. There is no way to relieve the symptoms. Antidepressants might help. Oh, I see you take some. Wow, you’re on a lot of meds. Perhaps that’s part of your problem.  

Nah. My problem right then, on Quinn's birthday? Was the gynecological nurse who read my chart, looked me dead in the eye, and said

I’m not sure what you’re here for?  

Me neither, lady. Me neither. But actualllllllly the surgeon (y’all referred me to) built a cuff (TF? Can they come up with a better word?) down there so my insides don’t fall out and this is the place you go to get that looked at?  Also, thank you for the offer of the lap gown, however, I’ll just leave my skirt on and take my panties (old maternity underwear) off. Oh? Oh yes, thank you for correcting me that it is a breast gown I’ve turned down. Fitting!  

It was an easy walk across the street to get another blood draw after a full round of bloodwork three days earlier.  

Your white count is low. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about but we need to check that again and call me this afternoon for results.

Awesome.

I asked if I was going to be one of those rare cases where the chemo causes leukemia. The neurologist deadpanned that I was funny.  

I proceeded that day to my psychiatrist and managed to overwhelm her with all my new diagnoses, calendar of appointments, and general complaints of apathy, mania, obsessions, rage, malaise, guilt, forgetfulness, indecisiveness, impulsiveness blah blah blah.

She upped the valium.

I drove around for a while. I sang sad and angry sounds at the top of my lungs in the car. I contemplated buying a pack of smokes.

I pulled into Little Flower and felt hopeful that just sitting in a pew listening to the quiet would spark something.

The door was locked. (When did they start locking church doors???)

I wept. I stood in that parking lot scattered with cars and I wept tears of just pure despair.

But then I looked up and I saw the prayer garden. Circular, with small benches surrounding a statue of Our Lady. Or maybe it was St. Therese. It doesn’t matter. Behind it was a small labyrinth with instructions to enter with an open heart, meditate while walking the labyrinth, and exit it with a peaceful thankfulness. I sat on one of the benches to try and clear my head. I figured I’d pray the rosary and then it occurred to me that it was Tuesday. Of course.

The Sorrowful Mysteries. Eyeroll. I couldn’t get glorious or joyful? Something uplifting? (See what I did there????)

I said my rosary. I was cold (wearing a skirt, remember) and weepy and feeling like I was too screwed up to get it together to honor little Q.

But something happened as I fell deeper into meditative prayer (I know, I know, who am I?).  A peace fell upon me at the fifth mystery.

Woman behold your son. Son behold your Mother.

The sun at that moment hit my face. I looked up to the sky and saw the moon as the clouds swirled.

I smiled. Took a deep breath. Because it was then that I knew.

I knew that it was in the arms of the Blessed Mother where Quinn Harper is safe and loved.  

As am I.

As is Amber.

As is my Bridget being my earthly life to end.

As are all the motherless babes and the babeless mothers.  

A droplet of rain glimmered in the brief warmth of the sun as I entered the center of the labyrinth. I felt hopeful. I turned to exit the labyrinth and saw my body cast a long shadow through a row of boxwoods in the shape of the cross. Make of that what you will.

Rather than me doing something to honor Quinn that day, she helped me. Helped me acknowledge some of my grief, helped me find solace in prayer, helped me look for other ways to find peace when the obvious path of day drinking alone at the View lost its appeal when I remembered you couldn’t smoke in bars anymore.

I blew Quinn a kiss and made it through the day.

However, I knew I wasn't done and I left my heart open looking for a way to pay it forward.  

On Saturday I received a text from an old friend that I hadn’t talked to in a while. The kind of friend you can not talk to for a while or months or years but is still family.

He and his husband had signed up to be foster parents and had been (long-term? permanently?) placed with two little girls, 3 and 4. Sisters.

And then I knew. I knew how to pay it forward in honor of one little girl to two others that so desperately needed it.

That night I sent a Target delivery of cabbage patch dolls, coloring books, crayons, fruit snacks, juice boxes, cereal bars, pajamas, cuddly blankets, bath toys, kiddy spoons, forks, bowls and plates, goldfish crackers, pudding packs, mini muffins, peanut butter, honey, uncrustables, raisins, bubbles, a bubble machine, bigger kid sippy cups, shampoo, tangle spray, string cheese, mandarin oranges, mac and cheese, smoothies, pull-ups, wipes, fridge magnets, Rapunzel, Cinderella, peanut butter crackers, and stickers.

I felt joy. Joy that these little girls had warm beds and a loving home. Joy that my friend had been gifted this experience. Joy that a contentedness had befallen me as I felt my contribution to #thequinneffect was complete. Joy that even though I knew all too well that contentedness is temporary, so is sorrow.

For years I've been saying "When I start my blog...". I think this is it. Post #1. Could be the first of many, could be the last. Whatever, I did it.

Thanks, Q. I owe you.

[d-wntherabbithole]

For the past 6 months I have done what most would call shadow work. I was put in a situation where I had two chooses. One I can allow the circumstances I am currently in to solidify the unworthiness I feel internally or I can do some deep cleaning. It has been one hell of a ride. I have dug so deep within myself. So many intense experiences but I stuck it out. Why? For myself. For my future self. For the people I love and want to love. Let me make something clear this enlightenment came with so much pain. Pain I was scared to face. I had been running so long when I finally stopped it felt like I was hit my a train.

But now I find myself catching things (even if it takes a while) and truly reflecting. Things I never thought I can do. I am very proud of myself. I am no longer ashamed of my past nor do I cling on to it to victimize myself. Simply now I reflect and have gained so much insight from it all regardless of how painful the lessons were. I AM a better person for it.

Let me start off with how for so long I have always tormented myself with the things others have held over my head, whether it be some mistakes I have made, or things others have done. I have always lived my life with this idea that I always needed to compromise myself and what I want to please other people. Since I could recall I always found myself in situations whether it be family like (my siblings or my parents) or friends even boyfriends where I was always over compensating, always needing to do the most to prove I am worthy of thier love, affection, time, consideration.

Constantly going against the grain of my own heart because I believed if I didn’t I would end up with nothing. I mean I learned this idea from my father, not directly but with his action or should I say lack there of. He abandon my mother and her children not just me. But nonetheless his absence left me in ruins. I was left trying to teach myself what a mans love should look like and I never had good examples. So of course you could imagine how my adolescent and teenage years looked like. After my father and all that truama the second most traumatic experience I had with a “man” was in 4th grade where I had a math teacher that was my tutor after school and on two occasions he molested me. I’ll never forget the words he whispered to me as he did it “ no one will believe you if you tell” he was right. I remember finally confessing to my mom what happen she was anger so we went in for a school meeting. I remember sitting in the room with the principle and expressing what happen and she actually had the nerve to tell me “no honey. I’m sure there is a miss understanding I know him he would never do that” I remember vividly feeling so confused. Thinking to myself maybe she is right it must be me once again I found myself doubting myself. On one hand losing all faith in myself and on the other losing all trust in others. I was this sweet, kind hearted baby girl that felt like she had the world on her shoulders.

The gap between this experience and the next big one was long but definitely not uneventful. Full of hatred from my sibling ( which we’re going through their own suffering but nonetheless this is my truth) one sided friendships, misguiding teachers.

Side note: Isn’t it unfortunate we all have a habit of taking the most from the worst of things. At least I can say for myself I find it much easier to think of the negative experiences then the uplifting ones. Now as an adult is when I am much more mindful of focusing on the positive.

So the next banger was my shit choices for boyfriends. Haven’t had many to begin with but there’s one that left a really painful scar. I dated him through highschool and a bit of my first years of college. As I am sure you can tell from above I had a fucked up image of myself and what honest pure love was so supposed to be (honestly still trying to learn what love is). So imagine my dismise when I ended up with a kid that was an extreme darker version of me. Double the insecure, constantly needing validation from everyone, misguided anger for his father and the world. Ashamed of who he was. I can go on but I think it’s obvious where this is going. He was just like me but intensified. I was just the weaker version of him because as a girl I felt like I was stripped of any form of confidence I had. So I thought oh yeah this seems right this is love. I mean if I am going based off experience where love is something I have to fight out of the people I love or just simply dealing with passive aggressive people & being “understanding” then yeah that seems about right. So I fought on like I always do. Over extending myself always giving giving giving. Slowly stripping away at the baby girl inside that was already so hurt. This guy mentally and physically abused me. Cheated on me left and right. Me being weak I always took him back. It was literally like I had blinders on. Till finally the anger set in. There was a shift. Once I finally said enough the first chance he got he left. There was still something inside me that wanted my justification so I tried to get it out of him. So much resistance. For months it was this ugly back and fourth. Till finally the radio went dead.

At that point I was a 20 year old kid that truly had no idea what the fuck was going on. But I will tell you I was full of pain, rage and fear. I was angry at so many things I didn’t even know where to start. I mean imagine just based on my short story above I had a lot of things pent up. I since a little girl taught myself how to suppress everything. I mean I had no other choose. My family didn’t listen, my friends didn’t understand. I felt alone in this world.

What came after this was what I would like to call the beginning to my end. I was slowly approaching the end of my rope. I was reckless. Imagine a little girl full of sadness, pain and anger stirring me. I was a tornado like someone once called me. But you know those are short lived. Then you’re left with all the damage and destruction you caused. That’s when the unraveling began. All the demons I tucked away so deeply started spewing out of the seems of my soul. There was no hiding it anymore. I had so much hurt inside me there was no explaining it.

You know when you are angry with someone but you keep pushing it aside but then they do one little insignificant thing and it blows the cap off. Then everyone looks at you like tf this bitch is crazy lol.

Well that’s what happen. My soul said to me. You have ran enough. Down the line I was even hospitalized for a failing kidney. It was one of the wildest experiences ever. Felt like my body gave up on me. It was receptive to nothing. Spiritually it felt like I was being reborn after it all pasted. If I can find the words one day to explain the experience I will. But I still can’t.

I met someone in the mist of all this ugly, unfortunately. A guy that could see through all the masks I was wearing. A guy that I can remember vividly telling me regularly “I can see you’re acting so hard but I can tell you are very soft on the side” I didn’t like it. I thought the “hardness” he was referring too was my protection. I had been hurt so many times I knew nothing else. I said unfortunately because sadly he met me at my absolute worst.

But I now know God put a person like that in my life for a purpose. I know the experiences him and I went through in the beginning are things I am not proud of. But it exposed me. I used to think it exposed me to the world so I felt judged but I know now what it truly did was expose that version of me to myself. Kinda like a look what you have become type of thing. See what your sadness has caused. Sadly at the expense of people that I love. But nonetheless it was the beginning of my awakening. God put all these people I spoke of above and many more I didn’t mention good and bad for a reason.

Point of sharing all this is because through my shadow work I have taught myself to look at what I have been through as my journey. It is what made me the woman I am today. Regardless of how painful. So sharing it here even if I know no one is gonna see it. It is subconsciously a way of facing my shame, or fear of judgement. My experience/past is what molded me. Don’t like it? It makes you uncomfortable? You wouldn’t have done it? well then you’re not for me. Whether you’re family, friends I have had for years or a partner. We are all on our own path. What is meant for you won’t pass you by.

For SO LONG I felt so ashamed, unworthy, always in lack. Like everything I have done, my parents, the way people have treated me defined me as a person you know?

But it feels so good to finally over come that frame of mind. I can see I have changed when I see things, read things, remember things now that would usually trigger the fuck out of me.

It is liberating to release myself from this grip. Even when I feel some type of way now the way I take it in is different.

From all this I have learned that those things from my past that I was so fucking ashamed of does NOT define me.

I hope through my own lessons I can teach or help those I love or anyone for that matter. Just simply help people understand that no matter how ugly the past is you have the power to change your future. I would love to assist and motivate people to love & believe in themselves. I wanna see people growing, happy and truly at peace with themselves. I know now if I want something I must become it.

The love & validation you seek from others is all within. Once I realized that is when I noticed I need no one. I am not afraid to stand alone. That is when I truly began to live freely. I will admit it is so hard because living in uncertainty is scary but it’s knowing that you’re all you need is a beautiful feeling.

If anything when you learn to let go of the pain and love yourself like you wish all those people around you would you learn how to truly value the people around you.

All in all I am grateful for my life and who I am. I am grateful for those who were kind to me. I am grateful for those who mistreated and misunderstand me. I am grateful for it all now.

I know now truly that I deserve love, respect , compassion & understanding. I feel fullness in my heart because I choose to give all those things to myself. I have faith that good, whole hearted people will find me. Those who have the same drive as me and are willing to give me everything I am willing to give.

What you give you get. That goes for the good and bad you put out. You will rep what you sow.

God has done so many beautiful things for me even in the mist of my worst moments and for that I forever grateful.

I am a good woman. I gotta remind myself to be proud of that more often. I am growing into the woman that I can say I am proud of and I did it all on my own.

Woke up feeling all this. Something in my heart told me to release it.

Here is to endless growth, healing and self love.