#of being really good at tricking myself that i have crushes on people and now sometimes i cant tell the diff i think.

[handmade--ghost]

no real update on the either-im-bored-or-i-realized-Feelings-for-my-slightly-estranged-childhood-best-friend situation except that she is somehow incorporated into my dreams 2 or 3 times a week now. somebody get me out of here.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Can you do an Alastor x fem!reader where Alastor confesses his love to her, but she doesn't believe him, thinking it's some kind of sick joke? She just laughs nervously, saying something like “yeah, yeah, I got it, very good joke, Al, your humor is getting better,” expecting that it will actually turn out to be some kind of prank

However, Alastor doesn't stop and tries to convey to her that he really loves her, but she still doesn't believe him because she doesn't trust him completely. Like, he's the radio demon, one of the most dangerous and powerful overlords who seemingly despised the idea of ​​getting close to someone, what if he just wants to trick her so he can maybe make a deal with her or something?? That's why at first she tries to avoid him in order to get rid of this awkwardness due to his confessions, but gradually in the end she begins to meet him halfway and considers the idea of ​​​​starting to date him after all. Not official yet, but the chances are great

WELP-

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None?? I think??

Description: ☝️⬆️

You're used to expecting the worst-case scenario and protecting your heart first and foremost, it's just how you learned to survive

You've learned not to trust anyone, especially anybody down here in hell with you, everyone has an ulterior motive

Yet...by some weird twist of fate you found yourself a home at the hotel, Charlie somehow having convinced you to stay

Whether or not you believed in redemption, you couldn't deny that you didn't feel a sense of closeness with everyone there

Even Alastor was nice to hang around sometimes, though you didn't trust him in the slightest

How could you? The Radio Demon?? He's got plans for his plans and only sees people for their use, he doesn't care about anyone, especially not you

You're just amusing to him, which is fine, you can tolerate being amusing just not being used

You had a comfortable relationship with the overlord which was something that not many people could say

You two got along well enough, spent a good amount of time together and actually had decent conversations

He'a charming and handsome, a dangerous combination but you were far too addicted to his presence now to worry about it, you can still protect your heart

Or at least you did, until Alastor decided to toy with your feelings, how he found out about your budding crush was beyond you

You two were walking alone together at night, laughing at some couple you two had witnessed earlier, teasing them

"I just don't understand how any man could be that whipped for a woman! I can't wrap my head around it..!"

Instead of joining in your laughter, he hummed and looked over at you strangely before looking ahead

"Oh, I don't know... I find myself understanding men like that a little more these days."

It's like a bucket of ice water just fell on you, your laughter cutting off as you look at him in confusion

"What do you mean? Are you...seeing someone or something?"

He looks as uncomfortable as a man with a permanent smile can be, tapping his claws against his staff

"Heavens no, but that doesn't mean there isn't someone special in my life... someone I wouldn't mind courting."

He gives you a meaningful glance then looks away again, stopping suddenly and facing you

"Alastor-"

"I wouldn't mind being whipped for you."

Your stomach sours and you frown, pushing at his shoulder a little harder than you meant to

"Yeah, that's real funny, Alastor. Why don't you go try that joke on someone else next time?"

You walk off as quickly as you can, leaving a baffled looking Alastor in your dust

Do you have any idea how hard it was for him to confess!? He grits his teeth and rubs his hand over his face as he watches you run away from him

You don't talk to him the next day, or the day after that, in fact... Alastor is pretty sure you're avoiding him because any time he tries to talk to you-

You find an excuse to run off, your relationship with him awkward and nervously hanging on by a thread

He ruined it and all your walls came right back up

You should've known he would exploit your weakness like that, should've seen that he was only being so good to you because he wanted to use everything he learned against you

You don't know what he gets out of it or what his goal is, but you're sure he's got an angle

Even now, he's trying to mess with your feelings, bringing you flowers, pushing little notes under your door, one time he even tried to serenade you

He keeps trying to tell you that he cares about you, that he feels for you, that he wants you, and you just don't want to hear it

It hurts to be toyed with

Everyone else at the hotel can see what's happening between you two which makes everything that much more embarrassing

"Come on, Husk! I know you know something! Why is he targeting me!? What do I have that he wants?"

Husk looks visibly uncomfortable, looking over your body before looking away, suddenly interested in a smudge on a glass

"I don't know anything so quit asking me! Why don't you just sit down and talk with him, huh?"

Oh, he knows something

Angel smirks and nudges your leg with his own, invading your personal space to further tease you

"You're tellin' me that you ain't flattered by all this attention he's givin' you? I've seen the way he's been mooning over you lately, and let me tell you~ That shit ain't fake~"

You huff and shake your head, mostly to hide the blush on your face from them

"He has an angle, everyone always does."

"Look if you wanna be a blind bitch then be my guest but at least promise me you'll hit that and tell me the details~?"

"ANGEL!"

You can't avoid Alastor forever no matter how hard you try, eventually running into him late one night when everyone else is in bed

You should've known better than to get that late night snack, but you had skipped dinner earlier, and you were hungry

You're washing your plate off when you hear Alastor walk in, stiffening once you realize you have no real excuse to run away anymore

"Alastor-"

He sucks in a breath and stays still as if scared he'll chase you away, which he might actually be worried about due to your actions lately

"I know you think I confessed to you in order to get something from you but that's far from the truth. I do genuinely find myself attached to you."

You feel your lip wobble a little, hugging yourself as you look away from him

"Don't. Don't you dare mess with me like this or I'll never forgive you, Alastor."

He takes another step closer to you, cautious as if trying not to scare you away

"I'm being entirely honest with you, I've fallen for you in ways I can't even begin to understand or convey to you. These last few weeks have been torture for me."

He's gripping your arms gently to stop you from turning away, the simple touch spreading warmth throughout your body

You have missed him a lot...

"I'm not asking that you confess your love to me, I only want a chance to show you I'm being genuine with you..."

You glance up at him before taking a step back, blushing furiously at the pathetic puppy eyes he's giving you

You can't believe you're going to agree to this, he better not make you regret it later or you'll make him suffer for it

You sigh and point at him, doing your best to remain calm and not let your emotions show

"I'll think about it, okay? Just...give me time to think."

He visibly relaxes and sighs in relief, giving you a warm smile as if you had just said yes

"That's more than I could ask for, I'll wait hundreds of years for you if that's what you want."

You blush more and have to cover your mouth to stop an excited squeal from escaping your lips

"Q-quit flirting with me! I already said I'd think about it..!"

He chuckles softly and reaches out to rub your cheek before pulling away and turning to leave

"Okay okay~ I'll wait for you...~"

He leaves you there in the dark, blushing and fuming to yourself

Having a handsome overlord on your arm wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to you

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!

[calp0sa]

what do you like and dislike about airy?

CRAZY MESSY INFODUMP INCOMING OH LORD

well there’s nothing i truly dislike about airy, because everything about him just makes him who he is. i just wish we got more insight to him as an Actual person rather than his host facade, even though that was sort of the point of one 17-18, i feel like the fact that he’s pretty much a regular ass dude went over most people’s heads (Not mine though because im really smart and could beat albert einstein in a rap battle) i know the mystique is the most prominently interesting aspect of the whole show… but yknowwww it’d be nice to know a little more about him personally considering how we now know he’s far from a one-dimensional character and shouldn’t be taken at face value (i am side eyeing a huge chunk of the one fandom as i say this) now okay if i were to talk about everything i like about airy we’d be here til the next solar eclipse but i’ll try to jot down everything i can. airy, to me, is the most fascinating object show character there is. i swear every time i observe something about him it’s like i’m opening a matryoshka doll as i dissect his character further and further… every rewatch of one i notice something, whether it be minuscule or glaring, there’s always something for me to brutally analyze. see, and here’s where i contradict myself, because while it’s frustrating not having much official trivia on him, i actually quite love how mysterious he is. i love how he seems like he knows a lot more than he lets on. i love how his caginess only sparks more questions. and i love how FESTERED he is. how you can tell there was so much that led up to him being so numb and stagnant… it does nothing but pique my interest. and i love how this festered-ness parallels with the contestants. i can’t help but feel as if the true extent of airy’s suffering was reflected through those on the plane, how the contestants went through so many fluctuant stages of sadness, denial, hopelessness, anger… all in the midst of isolation akin to airy’s forest. it makes me wonder if ONE served as catharsis to airy. not just a purpose or a distraction, but something to spark resonance within a desolate soul. speaking of distraction, it’s really interesting to me how reliant airy is on escapism, and this is most evident in how he literally takes on such a gilded and contrived host persona to the point where it’s difficult for the viewer to discern who he is OUTSIDE of “airy”. big fan of how the show basically tricks us into thinking he’s this ruthless malevolent all powerful entity until it takes us by surprise and reveals that he’s Just Some Guy, and it could’ve been anyone in his place. but this isn’t to defend him… no… airy was definitely a selfish and inconsiderate asshole (sorry yall) he just isn’t as awful as everyone makes him out to be. airy is not evil, nor is he good, he just kind of sucks LOL. and i love him for that honestly! the thing about this is he should’ve stopped and asked himself “what am i going to gain from this” yet he was so absorbed in trying to hoist himself out of that inevitable pit of dread that he did not care if he destroyed everything else in the process (Might i add that this is a huge parallel to liam’s impulsive vengefulness… i swear i could go on and on about how those two are brothers from another mother) another interesting thing about the hosting stage of airy is the chance that he probably did feel some sort of regret. especially after the shock of breaking his face, being confronted by harsh genuine emotions after such a long time… an iota of the pain and fear he assumed was long gone… as well as the crushing reminder that he basically threw himself and all his senses away just for a stupid game. What a loser amirite. even if he had some semblance of a wish to end ONE, he knew he couldn’t. i’d imagine he told himself mockingly “yeaaaa you basically dug yourself into this, you’re not backing out any time soon” (even though he could’ve easily backed out he was just a loser ass COWARD!)

i didn’t know the paragraphs had character limits! interesting. anyway i can’t help but wonder if airy made that effort to take care of liam in an attempt to break the cycle, the cycle of destroying everything else, including your very self, for the purpose of One thing. maybe airy thinks violence and spite is just a huge waste of time yes of course, but i think he understood liam to some extent (remember what i said about resonance 😁😁😁) i just love how everything about airy is so subtle, yet so major, so jarring and confusing yet when you piece it all together it makes such a scary amount of sense. i love making sense of how nonsensical he is. (of course i do. i am possibly the biggest fan of nonsense there is) now i will add a funny little thing i like about him. i like how he’s all impatient and snarky. and i know you’re probably thinking “franklin how in the abraham lincoln’s bootycheek do you think he’s snarky” Listen, it’s really funny once you actually notice it. there were so many instances where he sounded exasperated with the contestants. my personal favorite being

“yes, as long as you are here, you can’t die”

>”WE CANT DIE?”

“Yes… that’s… what i just said 😐”

he has this barely noticeable “oh my god can you let me do what i need to do” attitude and it’s SO funny. i like to imagine he rolled his eyes a lot while he was hosting. its really funny to imagine. and its also funny to imagine him smiling like an idiot like he did hosting in one 17. that scene was really cute it makes me want to run into ongoing traffic and get continuously ran over by 12 different semi-trucks. if you ignore how miserable the contestants were (sorry contestants) it’s actually really endearing how excited and eager airy was when he got ideas for challenges. i bet he felt so proud of himself it’s honestly kind of sad. he’s sad. what the hell. he really thought he was the SHIT when he said “riches… immortality… whatever your heart desires 😌” Oh my god he’s so pathetic don’t even get me started MY ONLINE CLASSES ARE STARTING I GOTS TO GO BUT ANYWAY FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR AN ANALYSIS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING AIRY RELATED I HAVE MORE THAN A HUNDRED BIBLES’ WORTH OF SHIT TO SAY ABOUT HIM BYEBYE THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS

[maximumkillshot]

I Won't Lose You- ICLY 7.5

Warnings: Cheater POV, a lot of not nice things are said. Definitely something to think about if you are sensitive to that type of subject matter, cursing, some air of grand diosity,

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Characters: Chris, Seungmin

A/N: So a lot of people have been wondering what Chan has been thinking... Welp... You get what you wish for... even though it ain't pretty.  I wanted to punch him writing it. This is after Chris gets banned from the hospital room. Since it is following him and not the reader, I decided to give it a different name, with the annotation being 7.5. Happy anger management people!

ALL THE SKZ IRL ARE CINNAMON ROLLS THIS IS A FICTION- IT'S FAKE.

I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

BEFORE:

Han looked up at Bin, trying to will himself not to cry. The both of you are so sweet, so kind. He could see the weight on Bin’s shoulders, crushing him. He could see it in his head, Bin keeping everything bad from crashing on top of you, his arms outstretched, using his whole body as a shield. Han knew that if it meant keeping you safe, Bin would carry the world. That’s what separated Bin from Chris. 

Both may be fond of you. Only one has ever put your safety over everything. Only one ever made you feel heard and seen. Only one ever made you laugh until you cried. Only one would take off work to take care of you when you’re sick. Only one made you understand that there is no priority above you. Only one would calm you with just a touch. Only one truly loves you with their heart and soul. That “only one” was in the bed with you right now. 

Han watched, eventually just letting the tears fall as Bin held you saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry. I love you… I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”

That was the first time Changbin had ever let himself say it out loud, “I love you so much it hurts…I Can’t Lose You.”

NOW:

Chan’s POV:

I have never seen Y/N like that. A part of me wants to say that it was something that was a freak accident, that Soo and I were a freak accident. We weren’t. Y/N deserves to know that, to have it acknowledged. I want to scream that I regret it, that I want to take it all back, that I wanted to erase it all. That would be a lie.

You can’t regret something that you actually initiated. I don’t regret what I did. I wanted a release, I got a release. I wanted to feel exhilaration, I got it. What I am sorry for is getting caught. Of course I’d never say this out loud but, the truth is my marriage was a means to an end. She loves me, of course… and I love her… to an extent. I loved it when she would perk up when I came home, or be passed out on the couch, waiting for me to come home. In a lot of ways, Y/N is like a puppy. She would do all the tricks in the book to make me happy. If she was lucky, she’d get rewarded. 

 There is an even more fucked up part of me that is relieved that she knows. Sneaking around wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was making it look like I was with the boys when I wasn’t. Y/N is so close to the boys it was a pain in the ass, all it would’ve taken was one text and right there my cover would be blown. I know that I can come back from this, though. Soo never held a candle to my wife. I just told Soo whatever she wanted to hear. I made it worth it for her to do what she wanted… what we wanted, who am I kidding, I wanted it. 

Everything is still so raw, she’s not really going to leave. I know she told me when we started dating, but I know that I can prove myself to her. She is the type to really believe that everyone is good inherently. It was something that I used to every advantage, if I’m honest. I’m obviously better than Changbin. I make more, I am more level headed… obviously… I am willing to do whatever I need to make sure I get what I want. How could she want anyone else? That’s like trading in a top of the line Ferrari for a beat up 1999 Taurus. Plus, she always gives people second chances. This is all one giant hiccup.

While the rest of the boys and I filed into the elevator, I heard her voice. She was so scared, I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, it was so meek, fragile… weak. That’s really the only downside to her. She is weak. Her emotions get the better of her always. Given, what happened would make anyone go crazy, but at the end of the day, she can’t keep control over her emotions. She is the type of person to read a room and follow the tone of the room. She isn’t a trendsetter, a leader. The only reason why the boys are the way that they are is because she is hurt. Something about their “white knight” complexes. Honestly I could puke just thinking about it. While they were playing games, painting, or just practicing on vocal technique, I was ensuring their continued employment. That will never change about her though. She folds under pressure. Like a skeleton with no spine. Sometimes it was exhausting, others amusing; that’s the biggest tell as to her coming back. She has no spine without me. She needs me… just like everyone else. 

Knowing the woman Y/N is I knew that for her to be this way, she had to hurt so badly. It ripped my heart out, seeing her finding comfort in another person, almost as much as knowing that I was the one to do all of it to her. It made me look so bad, to everyone. Hearing Changbin call out to Han that she was slipping, I’ve never heard a voice like that before. I’ve never heard screams like hers. I should’ve never tested her, calling our child “it”. She has been trying so hard, comforting me non-stop, that it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, that she’ll be on top of it. To let me know in the cutest way. Nothing’s more cute than finding out on your third anniversary that your family is going to get bigger. 

It hurt me saying that, calling them “it”, that was exactly why I knew it would get the job done. I needed to peel her away from Changbin without touching her, but it worked a little too well. Why was I punsihing her, punishing them? I think the answer to that is simple. I don’t want the attention on me. Which is counterintuitive, given my natural tendencies. Right now, in this moment, I don’t want to be acknowledged. The way that they see me right now threatens everything I worked for, and it looks like everyone chose their side to stand on. Me giving them more of a chance to hate me is only going to make my job down the road harder.

I think some of the boys could tell. I am royally pissed. I got caught, which for one is annoying, but for all of them to take her side? That was infuriating. I spent so long honing them, training them. I always protected them, supported them. It is infuriating to have people that you did everything for to just dismiss you. Why were’nt they comforting me? That child was mine too. Why am I not getting any condolences? Hell, when we had no money to eat, I wouldn’t eat just so the 8 could have something… anything. The days I went to bed starving, the nights I worked around the clock to give them the opportunities that they now take advantage of. 

This is how they repay me? Screaming at me left and right, Changbin threatening to kill me, even Felix turned his back. I just fucked a side piece… I mean I know what that caused is on me. That I was responsible for what happened to our child. If I could feel like I was attached I am sure I would’ve been a wreck. Something that was mine being taken away does that to a person like me. One thing is for sure, I truly never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to look bad, hurting her would do that, and so I made sure to tread lightly, my go to’s being, “I know Baby, I’m sorry,” and “What time is it? Shit Baby I’m so sorry.”

That didn’t stop me to wanting to have my own little thing. My own little secret. It was a different type of high that I didn’t know I craved… needed. It’s no doubt that Soo did feel better in bed. I could tell she knew what she was doing. Y/N had no experience before me and that did a wonder for my corruption kink, but after that… It was like pulling teeth. I had to teach her everything, so every time we we’d sleep together I had to act like I liked the fact that she’s so innocent. Which I do, but I also don’t want to have to have a health class every time I wanted to have sex. Soo wasn’t like that. She knew what she was doing. Hmmm… maybe I’ll clean up the house and finish what we started. 

In the elevator, no one wanted to say anything. I didn’t want to say anything either, I didn’t want to make anything worse than it is. It’s a unique empty feeling. Y/N would look at me like I hung the moon itself. The feelings that she gave me, I was seen, heard, and loved. Constantly reassured. I can’t live without that validation. The minute I walked out of the elevator I didn’t even look back, all I said was “Take care of her. Do what I didn’t, she needs you. Call me if you need anything.” That made me feel a little better, giving them an order, felt like the last say in a way. 

It was Seungmin’s voice that cut through, I heard him stop the elevator with is arm, “That was never a question, we’ve always taken care of her, don’t wait up. We all know you’re not used to being the one waiting for someone. Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” My lip upticked at his comment. Mostly because I didn’t imagine Seungmin to have balls like that and another was that I didn’t have a rebuttal. I always have a rebuttal. He’s right though, I always kept her waiting, not the other way around. It always made me feel important, that she needed me to go to bed well, that she craved to feel me.Yet now I find myself willing to wait an eternity if it meant being able to hold her one more time, to have her cook for me, then to cuddle up and pass out together, all of that shit I see as a waste of time. To think I hate needing someone yet here I am, needing her. 

I kept walking after I heard the elevator close. By the time I made it to the car I was trying my hardest not to collapse. My wife was in that hospital, fighting for her life, after I caused her to miscarry, a baby we have been wanting since our first anniversary. I am enraged. I’ve never felt so out of control and it’s driving me crazy. I am always in control. That is the only way that I function. It is something that I pride myself on. Now everything is out of place everyone stepped out of line. All I have to do is get them back in their rightful place… Then we can move on. 

 I’ve never imagined anyone else as the mother of my children, she is giving enough to focus on them while I work on my career. It’s always been Y/N. That thought was the one that made me slam my door a little too hard. She’s going to come back, she’ll be back. She will have my child, we will be happy… When everyone is in their place. 

I tried to distract myself as I went home. It felt like an out of body experience, seeing myself in the rearview mirror, hating the person I saw, just for the sole fact of getting caught. It was such a rookie move. I should’ve known that there was something going on when everyone said they were out for the night. No matter how loud I made the radio, I heard noting but her screams. I wanted to blame someone, get the pain as far away from me as possible, trying to make me out to be the good one. I’m not. The only things I’m good at are music and acting. I could still see the little glances she’d give me, convincing herself that I am just busy. She is so trusting, it honestly baffles me. Just another sign that she’s weak.

I wanted to make it her fault. She shouldn’t be so naive. Seeing Soo disappearing at the same time I am? The way that I couldn’t really look her in the eye for most of last month? She should’ve told me sooner. Maybe if she did that our child would still be here. That’s not even including how I’ve had to keep Soo on a shorter leash than anyone, her face gives so much away. The first time she hung out with us I had to take her to another room and tell her to get it together because she almost started crying in front of Y/N. I know that people will say that’s not fair, What part about anything that I’ve done screamed ‘oh this is reasonable’? None. It’s been so long I’ve been doing this that I don’t even remember how all of this started. Ah I remember now.

I guess a year ago it started off with me venting to Soo. I didn’t know why we weren’t conceiving. We timed out the cycles, we did everything correctly, but still it wasn’t happening. If I told the boys I know I would look weaker for it and I didn’t want Y/N to be even more stressed about getting pregnant. Soo validated my feelings and told me that she was always there for me. That was the first mistake. I should’ve gone to Y/N. After a while it went from talking when I was aggravated to talking daily. 

I looked forward to those calls so badly. It felt like a little interaction that was all mine. Making her laugh made me feel like when I used to get Y/N to laugh. The butterflies came soon after that, seeing that I got a form of attention I didn’t realize I was missing. About two months ago she told me that she was seeing me as “not just my friends husband”. That made my heart leap in my chest. I should’ve avoided her like the plague after that, I should’ve gone to my wife, but not only would that make her mad, it’d also make sneaking around harder. I did something worse.

“Good to know it’s not one sided.” I felt the words drip out of my mouth, even recounting it makes me a little excited. I turn onto my street and I heard Soo’s voice in my head, “Chris...” I knew it was wrong, I fucking knew it was, “I know. I know it’s wrong.” Then hearing her say, “What if she finds out?” with a giggle. “We’ll be discreet.”

We met up that night. I wanted to scrub myself head to toe, till my skin bled, making sure her scent was gone completely. It was so thrilling, so different, and I hated that I liked it. I liked it so much I knew I had to do it again, and soon too. Every time I came home Y/N was either passed out on the couch or in our bed. Notes left on the counter full of how much she loves me. I still remember the first one from that same night, “I know how forgetful you get in the studio, made extra of your favorite, it’s in the fridge, missed you-XOXO Y/N/N.” I looked at her form on the couch, clearly trying to stay up to see me. I ran to the bathroom to vomit, it made me anxious. I knew that I was playing with a downgraded version of my wife. If anything went wrong, I’d be left with the dollar store version of Y/N. For some reason that anxiety turned to exhiliration. The longer it went on for, the more comfortable I got of having my cake and eating it too. 

She never did anything wrong. I asked for space, she gave me space. I asked for anything and she would do it in a heartbeat. She always wanted me happy and stress free. After a while I made it okay in my head by saying that she wants me to be happy and having both make me happy so it’s okay. I know better, I always knew better. 

 I always got up too early, that way I didn’t afford myself time to see the person that I love in one of my favorite ways to see her, happy and sleeping. The last few days I gave myself that. Feeling the guilt eat me alive, rightfully so. I felt guilty for putting all of this on the line, putting her on the line, not for her, but what losing her means to me. I’d practice my apology while she slept, “I’m so sorry, I love you.” 

If it wasn’t for the boys being there, I could’ve had a better handle on her. I could’ve reiterated that practiced apology over and over. I could’ve kept the control I spent years making, which is really the most fucked up thing about all of this. I was in training for almost 10 fucking years, I finally get the perfect group of people who followed perfectly without question. Then Changbin goes ahead and goes soft for Y/N. She’s gorgeous, I know, she’s funny, and kind, but she was also making Bin step out of line a bit. Every time she was around, he would try to take point, try to be the center of attention. At first I thought that it was Bin trying to be cute. When he asked me how he could ask her out a few months after this started, I felt my stomach drop. She threatened everything I worked for. So I spewed some bullshit to make him question himself a bit more while I figured out what to do. 

Some wouldn’t see this as a problem. I am not some. I only let my members have center because I permitted it. If I threw myself in the spotlight always, it would look off. So I made myself into the best, most supportive leader, the leader of the 4th generation, how can you get bigger than that? The perfect wife… Y/N. It was perfect, if I had her, not only would I have more control over Bin, but I’d also have the perfect little family one day. That was when I decided to ask her out after getting her separated enough from Bin. Which wasn’t too hard. There were some unseen snags but overall it was easy. Keeping her is going to be just as easy. When she’s healed. Then everyone will fall back in line.

I pull in to my driveway and go to the door. Once I opened up the door, Bins clothes covered in blood were there, taunting me. I walked further into the house, I looked on the mantle, the picture from our wedding hung there. I remember that day, that gorgeous day. I threw it away. That woman with the most infectious smiles, the woman who’d hold me so close during horror movies. I found myself grabbing that picture, I dragged my finger over her face. I heard her voice, “I love you”, and I collapsed on the floor, right next to the clothes, sobbing, clutching the photo. She was so perfect. 

I got so mad at that point. I shouldn’t be crying, SHE ISN’T LEAVING ME. I can fix her just like I fixed everything else around me. My perfect wife, My perfect group, MINE.  

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[tangosyourtek]

I can’t help myself… trick or treat? [no pressure to respond though!] [gives you candy/fun treat of choice preemptively because I love your headcanons]

Hi! And thank you so much!! 🫶

You get a treat! 🍬🍫 (I saw mischaracterization of ranchers, and I desperately need to ramble about them through the whole life series, so I apologize that this isn’t really a “headcanon.”) Also, apologies if it doesn’t really seem like a “treat” 🙈.

*~

Of course, they met before Double Life, but they never interacted for very long or spent time alone, so Double Life is where everything happened. I like the idea of Tango crushing on Jimmy in 3rd and Last Life (mainly because I love 🌹💍 erasure), but I don’t think they ever lingered on each other long enough to pass that as fact.

They got to know each other in Double Life, and it was such a great experience for them, but I don’t think they ever labeled what they had and were just “Ranchers.” Nor do I think they had enough time to consider that their growing affections were encroaching on serious levels.

Then, they were separated and didn’t have any contact. Their relationship had a big question mark on it, and they had a gaping hole in their chest where their soulbond linked. They wallowed like that for a while and busied themselves in their work. If the strain in their muscles distracted them from the ache in their chest, or the cold/scalding hot shower made them feel something for once, who will know?

By some miracle, they were reunited, and in that excitement, they didn’t care about labeling their relationship. They were so happy and relieved to see each other and felt whole again, but they had to part ways. Feelings came rushing back, as did that empty hole, and maybe some thoughts got loud.

Then, another death game.

I interpret Ranchers in Limited Life as the direct bridge between their unlabeled relationship and what they are right now. They are on opposite sides, fighting against each other, and that makes trying to navigate this relationship and talk about it hard. Did their relationship stay unlabeled because the other didn’t want it? Are they on opposite sides because they want to put it in the past and move on? They could remain kind and cordial to each other, but how long can they wait for the other to close that gap between them? I think Jimmy realized in this season that he will always be in Tango’s corner. He refused to join the hunt on Tango and refused to tell his ex that he loved him back. (I’m so incredibly proud of Jimmy at that moment. STAND YOUR GROUND, KING.) And Tango equally acknowledged that for himself. He could have gotten mad (or played a divorce arc) when the bad boys were killing him and his team, but he congratulates Jimmy instead and tells him good job.

Secret Life ranchers was so insane I can’t believe I even need to explain this… (maybe I played a part in it because I love exaggerating and talked about them “being over” all the time, BUT IN MY DEFENCE I WAS MOURNING A TEAMUP) They have an established relationship in this season, they know what they are and what they mean to each other whether that was through a conversation or went unspoken, who knows. Only they do. Jimmy goes after Tango and says he “loves his noises,” and Tango throws himself into TNT for his rancher, which was so incredibly gay. That man is down BAD. That was not a divorce arc; if anything, that said, “You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

And finally, Wild Life. It's currently ongoing, so we’ll see what more happens and if anything changes slightly (I have a lot of faith that they will still be gay lovers). But already, it’s giving vibes that they have started to be more open about their relationship and tell other people. (Everyone already knew something was up, but this physically confirms it). Like, how else am I supposed to take Mumbo saying “No! He’s with Tango!” about Jimmy? And Jimmy rushing to say they’re “just friends”; he’s definitely feeling shy and giddy about it. Maybe he also feels pleasure in dragging on the “we’re so into each other but aren’t doing anything about it” bit everyone hates to watch.

Anyway, sorry, I had to ramble. I saw someone imply that Tango is mean to Jimmy, and I definitely think it comes from their Limited/Secret Life interactions because I refuse to believe another person fell victim to the “Tango is sassy = Tango is mean” mentality.

[lovelywritinglady]

You know this been crossing my mind but this is a request but short here is the new request is short if you think about

Where tengen was fighting daki and gyutaro but he didn't know about a new demon sibling this one is far stronger and well this man fall in love with this demon

If is possible if that the demon is a another male but much more bild then daki and gyutaro

( and if possible tengen as a genderfluid)

Just in case this mysterious demon is a male reader or y/n

I'm sorry 🙏 if I'm asking much but this cross my mind so forgive me and have a goodnight/ day

This is super interesting, so I’ll do my best to make it work.💜

Another One?

Female Tengen Uzui x Male Demon Reader

Angst, Kind of Fluffy, Tengen having a crush on reader. Badass demon reader. Pretty fluffy and reader being indifferent to his siblings. I changed it up a little from the prompt.

Tengen Uzui pov

The battle was over and our wounds were too great. The entertainment district was in ruins now, but at least those pesky demons were killed. The brother took my hand and my eye, but other than that I'm just fine. Especially after Tanjiros sister, Nezuko, healed me. My husbands were releved and so was I. The boar head kid and the ugly one were pretty roughed up as well, but they were still alive. I tossed my head back against the wall with a sigh. My husband Sumio was still crying on my chest, Makio was checking my injuries, and Hino was touching my face gently. I was glad that I was still alive so I could still be with them, my sweet husbands. Just then, I started shaking as a deep chuckling voice as steps approached us. Groining, I got up despite the protests from my husbands, ready for another fight.

"Hey, no need to stand up pretty lady." The voice said.

As the footsteps got closer, my worst fear came true, another upper rank demon. He was tall and well built with large shoulders and a small waist. His hair was h/c and his eyes were a vibrant shade of green and e/c. He wasn't ugly like the other demons I just fought and I found myself surprised that a demon could even be handsome.

He then kneeled down and smirked at me. As his eyes takes across my battered body. Unfortunately, this caused a blush to grace my pale bruised skin. My mind was in a frenzy not just because of the fight, but because of the sight before me. He might have been the best looking demon I've ever seen. Hell, he even put humans to shame, except for my husbands of course.

"Get the hell away from us." Makio threatened in a protective stance.

"Woah there, I'm not here to hurt ya. I just want to talk." The demon said as his eyes never left mine.

"Who the hell are you?" I coughed

"Y/N, and those two demons you just killed were my siblings. I just came to say thank you." Y/N stated sitting down.

"Wait, why are you thanking me." I asked

'Because sweetheart, I really hated those two. Always nagging at each other. Especially Daki, gods she was a pest." Y/N groaned

"But they are your siblings, you shouldn't say that." Tanjiro yelled at him.

"Hush now kid, save your strength. They weren't much of siblings to begin with. Shouldn't love someone if they refuse to love you back." Y/N proclaimed with an 'I don't give a fuck attitude'.

"Are you gonna try and kill us?" I questioned him

"Nah, you're not really worth my time. It's a shame though, I watched you fight and I gotta say I'm impressed. Not a lot of people who fought my little brother managed to walk away alive, let alone kill him. Although, no one has ever come close to beating me either." He boasted.

"Thanks, I guess." I said

"Anytime sweet heart. Say, you want those wounds healed?" He questioned scooting closer.

"Do not touch Lady Tengen!" Hino screamed pointing his blade at him.

"Calm down handsome, I'm not gonna kill him." he yawned

"How do I know its not a trick?" I asked confidently. He then came closer, much to the protests of my husbands. Y/N then lifted his hand and tilted my chin up so he could look in my good eye.

"It's a shame that my brother had the audacity to take out of of these pretty eyes. Eyes like these should never be hurt." He cooed

His other hand then made it way to my stomach and glowing light appeared out of his hand. It was slightly painful, but that feeling was overshadowed by the way he was looking at me. My blush was even deeper now and I felt myself wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on my cut lips. His other hand was still on my chin as his eyes never left mine.

"Close your eyes." He commanded

As I closed my eyes, I could feel his blood demon art working through my body. It felt as though he was reconstructing every cell and replacing it with a stronger new one. It was a strange sensation, but one that left me wanting more.

"Now, let me see those pretty eyes of yours." He cooed

Opening my eyes, I looked around me seeing the releaved faces of my husbands and the kids. I looked down at my hand to see if it was still gone. Except, it was now back, nail polish and all. It was like magic and I felt myself for the first time in my flashy life, being fully and completly thankful to a demon. I looked up to see his towering figure doing the same to my husbands and then to the kids. A wide smile graced my face, knowing that they had recovered.

"Well, I'm off then. The sun is almost up and I really don't want to end up like my siblings." He stated smiling down at me.

"Wait-" I yelled getting up and making my way to the demon.

"Hmm what is it pretty girl? Ya sad to see me go." He asked

"Absolutely not." I lied

"Then what is it?" He cooed

"Thank you." I whispered

"What was that?" He asked bring up one of his hands to cup his left ear as he smirked.

"Oh you heard me." I sassed

"Whatever, I gotta get goin, see ya." he said as he began walking away.

"Thank you!" I exclmained rolling my eyes

"Anytime, pretty lady." He screamed back

"My name is Tengen Uzui, you oaf." I sassed putting my hand on my hip.

"See you around beautiful Tenge Uzui." He responded and in a flash he sped away from my sight.

"Lady Tengen, what just happened?" Sumio questioned with a tearstained face.

"Honey, I've got no idea." I said thinking to myself the same thing.

These last few days were nothing but chaos. I went from losing a hand and an arm, to them magically appearing back in moments. And everyone's wounds disapearing as if in thin air. I stood there as the sun peaked through the mountains questioning if I it was real. And a horror of a thought came across my mind. Was I falling in love with a demon?

Thank you so much for reading!💜And thank you to @bendymonter for requesting. Hope you enjoyed this one.

Please feel free to request, comment and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except Y/N•

-L.W.L

[cerastes]

Hey how come you making flippant comments in regards to your own self-improvement fetish is so enlightening in regards to mental health things is this the whole 'professional' thing at work.

I would like to think so! When we think of "psychology", most people might have a very Freudian image of it: A therapist solemnly but very comprehensively taking notes as a patient lies on a couch and spills their guts, only interjecting once or twice in the hour-long session and then charging you. Psychoanalysis, the Freudian technique, I don't think it's useless, but it's definitely just one of a myriad of techniques and methods with which to carry out therapy (and one I myself am trained in and do not like). I myself am more of systems theory of psychology kind of guy (Humberto Maturana, Ludwig von Bertalanffy, Gregory Bateson, among others), and systems has a very input-output sort of view (if you want to learn more, you can also look up second order cybernetics and radical constructivism).

Where I am going with all of this is that if it may seem like I'm making flippant comments, then that means I've synthetized my own self-care mind palace to such a degree that it has simply become part of my discourse, my lingo, my poise, if you will, but that in itself took a lot of introspective work in a way that was tangible to me, or in other words, in a way that my brain accepted it. Ultimately, it's the role of the psychologist to lead one to something rather than to reveal any sort of secret to wellness. Using myself as an example, as someone that had suicidal depression at one point, being told to "think positively" didn't do a damn thing, because if it was that easy, then depression wouldn't exist. Instead, I more or less had to trick my own brain into giving it reasons as to why it should think positively, because it makes sense to do so, and in the same vein, I had to give it reasons as to why thinking negatively was dumb. Because that sort of logic works with me. So it's less "hey, think nice things :)" and more "okay but does it have to be like this? Does everyone else have this crushing sadness as their normal as well? I don't think so, so maybe what I'm feeling isn't normal. Why am I thinking that way? What do they have that I don't? Oh, thing A and thing B, yeah, makes sense, and do I want these things? Mmm thing A doesn't really matter to me, but thing B, I'm loathe to admit, is something I desire, how about I work towards having thing B for now as a goal and then see if that is good enough or at least improves my mental state? Are things really as hopeless as I think they are and am I enlightened by my grim outlook? Probably not, so why am I hopeless and why are they not? There's something I don't have or don't know, let's see what that is, and put these shit thoughts on hold until I can ascertain these things". This is a summarized version, of course, but you know what I mean.

But where I'm going with this (again) is that once you grab onto your own internal logic (which is where the introspective work leads to!) and know what makes you click and how your own metrics and parameters of motivation work, it becomes much much easier to have a healthy mental state and keep it healthy. This, in my opinion, should be the long term objective of any good therapy: To at least start your user (I don't really use the term "patient") on this road. I'm making it sounds all sunshine and rainbows, but introspective work worth having does entail having to look at the uglier parts of yourself and acknowledging them, hence why not a lot of people see it through. It takes commitment and guts because you very much do reach a point where you need to look at these things that are awful and be like "yes, this, too, is me" before you can start going into how to turn these into advantageous things instead.

Likewise, the therapy I do tends to have this as goal: Let's work this shit together so we can organize it in a way that's easier to handle for starters, and then you can have a very good grip on the reins of what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad, and so can easily dispel the brain fog by simply consulting your inner blueprint. Each user is a whole different journey, and it's part of what makes psychology such a beautiful field.

[shackledkitty]

Small (?) rant about Mob Psycho 100 and autism, because it's something I feel strongly about.

I just want to say before I say anything, this is just how I see MP100 in my personal view as an autistic person, and my experiences as an autistic person. So this is (obviously) very opinion based, something to keep in mind while reading.

I am someone with autism who, for the most part, used to feel a strong resentment towards myself being autistic. I was not diagnosed until my early high school years, so I just thought I was weird. No one really, ever, liked me in school at all, mostly because I kept to myself and aspired not to draw attention to myself. When watching MP100 a month or two ago, I could find myself really attached to the characters experiences. In my opinion, the psychic powers or telepathy is representative of a neurodiversity. This shows in how each person with ESP has powers which are different from eachother.

With Serizawa, it was the character in my first watch of MP100 that drew me in. He is a esper who found himself scared of how his powers would affect other people, especially people he loves like his Mother. Serizawa found himself staying inside and indulging in his interests all day. Even going as far as to never leave his room, because it's hinted at that he'd have breakdowns when leaving - finding his room to be his only safe place. Though he was easily manipulated into leaving his room by someone stronger than him, causing Serizawa to use an umbrella as sort of a comfort item. It's shown that he'd get extremely anxious without his umbrella during his initial 'fight' with Mob after he had it briefly knocked away from him.

Relating Serizawa's behaviors to my own experiences made me feel a lot more connected to the show in general. A lot of the time before being diagnosed, I knew a lot of people with autism, and a lot of these people were low functioning. In these people, I saw my own behaviors and, by how my friends at the time reacted to those behaviors, I'd associated them with negative things. Often times, so no one would see me exhibit these behaviors, I would keep myself in my room all day. Only leaving when absolutely necessary. Whenever someone would enter my room unannounced, and this is something I still somewhat do, I would make sure to put away anything I was doing as quickly as possible. Now going onto Serizawa's umbrella, when I first got diagnosed, I was using a similar thing when at school to help me focus. I would have to have a specific pair of fingerless gloves, or I wouldn't be able to focus. I got in trouble for this numerous times and no one ever defended me, eventually someone in my house threw them away without my knowledge. Serizawa as a character, in relation to my autism, I can see my own breakdowns and how they affect me in Serizawa's.

Mob is probably the most obvious character to discuss in relation to autism in MP100, and this is exhibited in the fandom beliefs of other autistic people as well. While describing Mob, I am going to seperate Mob from '???', because I feel that the '???' state can be used as a separate example for neurodiversity in this topic.

Shigeo as a character is presented as gullible, in this way you can see a similarity to Serizawa in vulnerability. Multiple times throughout MP100, Mob gets swindled by people; Reigen tricks him into thinking that he's a psychic (like Mob himself), the telepathy club -attempt- to convince him to join the club through multiple means, a girl tricks him into thinking that she has a crush on him (which he rejects), at one point - multiple people convince him that he's popular, a group of guys convince him that they're a girl writing a love note to him, e.t.c... I could go on and on. Due to Reigen, Mob is taught that he is to never use psychic powers against other people, a good message in itself: don't inflict violence against others. But this results in Mob bottling up all emotions (or times he could've used his psychic powers against others) causing his '100%' bar to steadily rise - always ending in some sort of emotional breakdown. Sometimes he acts in violence, but I think some of the easier to resonate with scenes are when he starts having an emotional overflow. For example, at the end of the first Teruki Hanazawa fight, Mob is not longer in the post 100% state and regrets using his powers against someone else: ending in him simply sobbing.

The way Mob shows a lack of emotions throughout the earlier sectors of the series is reminiscent of how I would behave. Mostly throughout my life, I would not start confrontations or show strong emotions. But whenever I would get overwhelmed or overstimulated, I would become easily violent and, like Mob, found myself unavailable to process what I was saying until it had already came out my mouth. I would only regret it much later, but even if I did regret it, I wouldn't let anyone know I did and the cycle would repeat.

To wrap up this post, I'm not saying that every character who is an esper has specifically autism. Some characters without ESP remind me of myself in elements like Reigen or Shinji Kamuro and there's some characters with ESP where I cannot relate any personal experiences with autism with, such as characters like Miyagawa in claw. MP100, as a show and manga, helped me realize that it doesn't really matter that I have autism. It's just kind of that thing that's just there and, yeah, it affects my life in important ways, but it also can have positive effects in some places. Like being able to survive down and write this post with the amount of dedication I had, because it's something I feel strongly about.

I fully welcome anyone to add on anything in relation to MP100 and neurodiversity, I would very much like to expand my opinions and hear other people's experiences with autism and parallels they can see.

[antisocialgaycat]

me??? procrastinating by writing a really shitty story???? no fuckin way

@elemelom

I don’t know why I climbed the tree. More importantly, I don’t know how I’m going to get down. I’m quite high off the ground and the wind is really starting to pick up. I can see the sun setting over the horizon, and if I wasn’t so stressed right now, this would really be quite peaceful.

It’s been 15 minutes and I’m still sitting here. I’m not sure I’ll ever have the courage to climb down. The wind has matted my hair and my eyes are watering, but my hands are frozen to the branch I’m sitting on and I really don’t want to look down.

It’s been 16 minutes and I looked down and now I’m shaking, both out of fear and because the wind is getting stronger and stronger. What if I fall? I don’t have my phone up here, and even if I did I wouldn’t be able to call for help because I’m holding on to this branch like that’s somehow going to do anything. I wish I were able to do anything right now.

It’s been half an hour and it’s fully dark out now. The wind is stronger than ever and I think this tree might just blow over. At least I can’t see the ground anymore. That’s a win right?

It’s been 45 minutes and I’m so so tired. I would probably fall asleep right here if I wasn’t trying so hard to not get blown out of this goddamned tree. The only thing that’s keeping me going right now is the thought of going home and having the hottest shower of my life. This wind is going to be the death of me.

It’s been an hour and a half and I don’t want to be alive anymore. I can’t feel my face and I think my hands might be permanently frozen to this branch. My ass hurts from sitting for so long but I don’t dare move because what if I fall?

It’s been 2 hours and I really do hate being alone with my thoughts. There’s nothing worse, I think, than having nothing to do but think. It really plays tricks on your mind.

It’s been 3 hours and I’m just about ready to jump out of this tree. I don’t care if I die. You know how I said that having nothing to do but think plays tricks on your mind? Yeah I’m feeling that now. The wind is howling even louder but I swear I can hear the voices of people chanting which honestly scares me a little. I hope it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. Well, even if it weren’t it’s not like these people would find me, sitting half frozen at the top of a tree. Good lord I’m an idiot.

It’s been who knows how long and I know I’m not going to make it out of here alive. I think I’m crying, but I can’t feel my face so I’m not really sure. I don’t think I can move a single muscle and my mind is going to all kinds of places that it shouldn’t. There are much better things to be thinking about than your old best friend who ghosted you or how the person you like has a crush on your best friend. But you know, when you’re stuck in a tree and you can’t move you have to do something to keep yourself occupied.

It’s been far too long and maybe I could climb down. Maybe I could be like the hero of a story and get myself out of here. Maybe I was exaggerating earlier and I’m not even that far off the ground. Maybe I will see tomorrow. Unlikely, though.

At least the wind has stopped a little.

It’s been maybe 6 hours, maybe more and I don’t even know if I’m alive. The wind picked back up and the branch I’m on is swaying more than before. What if it breaks? I don’t want to die. It sounds so trivial but I’m scared. I really am. What if I don’t see another sunrise?

It’s been at least 8 hours and I’m so hungry. Why did I climb this tree? What was I even trying to achieve? If I get through tonight I’m never going near a tree again.

It’s been maybe 9 hours, maybe 10 and I’ve started counting out loud. I can’t hear the sound of my voice over the roaring of the wind in my ears, but at least I have something to do and I know that I’m alive for now.

I’ve counted up to 10 million and back now. I swear the wind keeps getting stronger. The tree I’m in is swaying in the wind and it’s creaking so loudly I can hear it. I think the chanting’s come back too, but it’s more of a whisper than it was last time. I’m losing it.

It’s getting lighter, I think. The wind is still as strong as ever, but at least I can see.

The sunrise is beautiful from up here. Almost as soon as the sun arrived, the wind stopped entirely. I can feel myself thawing out but I’m not quite ready to move yet.

I’ve been sitting in the sun for about half an hour when I feel the wind start again. Seriously? I think to myself, letting out a weary sigh.

Almost as quickly as it started, the wind stops. The branch creaks to my right and when I look over I see what looks like a teenage girl of about 16 sitting there, rapidly flickering in and out of sight. “Who are you?” I demand, but she only smiles in response, extending her hand out to me. Slowly I reach out to take it, and when I do, I feel the warmth practically radiating from her incorporeal body. I ask the question again, this time filled with curiosity, not anger, and she answers.

“I’m the wind. And I do apologise sincerely. I had a bad day yesterday and I took it out on you. Would you like to get down from here?” I nod, slightly stunned, but at this point I’ll believe anything. She shuts her eyes for a brief moment and just like that, I’m slowly drifting to the ground. Once my feet touch solid earth I collapse and lie there for a moment, taking in the feeling until I roll over onto my back and look up. I see Wind wave a small goodbye and then disappear. I don’t know why I climbed that tree. I don’t know how I survived. I don’t know what just happened, but I do know that I’m going to go home and eat some soup and have a hot shower then sleep until tomorrow. I don’t think I ever want to see a tree again.

[ferrocyan]

ffxiv write day 9 - lend an ear (continued from here)

honey bites her lower lip. "you like me," she ventures, and tart nods. "but you don't, really. you only think so because i made you, my craft is in manipulating people's feelings to make them like me. it's not real, you have to realize that, right? it's just a trick. it's--"

"--artificial," tart fills in. honey nods resolutely. he wonders why she's telling him this. does it bother her? has this craft been too successful and backfired on her? likely so, the only question is how many times.

it--is good, is the problem. honey b. lovely's oversoul enhanced venom affects the entire body on contact, quickening one's breathing and heartbeat, inducing lightheadedness, making them only able to see and focus on her, her alone. it feels like falling in love. little wonder people are ensnared by honey's charm so easily.

tart folds the last of his sandwich to a small bite and eats it at once. "but is being artificial such a bad thing?" he argues, "don't think feelings can be not real. doesn't work that way. 's not to excuse how people act on them, but... the emotions themselves, you've no right to deny."

the way her lips curl and her tone drawls make tart's hair stand on end. "ohh, do tell, then. what's this undeniable emotion you've got for me?"

shite. honey thinks it's alarming enough that tart seems to be holding onto her venomous charm. he definitely can't admit that she'd already charmed him just by her greeting and its accompanying wink. there's no way he can say that! but now she's glaring at him expectantly, pretending nonchalance by nibbling on her meal bar.

tart exhales through his teeth. "i love fighting. makes me so happy in many ways--putting skills into practice, making a show of it, having everyone's attention on me," honey rolls her eyes at him, making tart snicker, "especially from people i love! nothing beats that. except," he looks down at his hands, "for testing myself against an equal. someone just as good or better, another human that can change and adapt to bring our battle to greater and greater heights. i would call that person my best friend. but he's gone, and i thought i'd never know happiness as i did fighting him.

"but then, you." he closes his eyes. he can taste honey's sweet perfume, echoing the taste of her venom in their battle. the way it flooded him with the giddiness of a budding crush, drowning in the cheers of the crowd, that--that was pure bliss. the greatest happiness tart can hope for. "artificial? sure, had the real thing and that wasn't it. but how can i resent the next best thing for being fucking good, still? so, truly, miss lovely. all i feel for you is gratitude."

honey bites down on her bar, hard enough to snap it into two. "see, that!" she points at tart. "why do you keep doing that! what is the matter with you?! how can you be so... so...," she slumps, waving her arms in defeat. "i don't even get what i'm looking at here."

tart watches her with a little concern, until he notices her cheeks are flushed deep crimson. when their eyes meet, honey evades his gaze immediately, putting her crossed arms up between them.

[brzatto]

i remember distinctly at some point i promised myself i would finish blue chicago moon before my birthday (lmfao) and now it is my birthday .. and unfortunately it’s been weeks since i’ve touched a google doc in general much less that fic but to celebrate i’m posting an excerpt from a later part in the fic i’ve had written out for a while now. enjoy ^_^

They’re laying in bed together, after, the way that’s become more casual as of late, more natural; they take turns taking drags from the same cigarette.

Carmy’s telling some story, “And then Pete—”

Richie interrupts him with an exaggerated scoff, rolling his eyes, and Carmy smacks him on the shoulder with the back of his hand. “I know, I know, stop it—but Pete’s not bad. Really. He can be cool, sometimes, like actually cool—”

Richie groans, rolling away from Carmy, except the bed’s too small for him to go anywhere, so he really just turns onto his other side—Carmy rolls after him, propping himself onto his elbows so he can wrestle Richie onto his back, stubbornly crossing his arms over Richie’s chest and leaning his weight onto him to keep him there; he reaches over to crush the rest of the cigarette into the ashtray. “I’m serious, Pete’s not that bad, and maybe if you’d actually give him a chance or opened up to him a bit more Sugar wouldn’t hate you as much—”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault that Sugar hates me? When have I ever given a shit about what she thinks?” Richie gripes, and Carmy rolls his eyes.

“She doesn’t actually, you know. You just have a tendency of being a complete and utter piece of shit—”

“What, is she still fuckin’ mad at me for that one time—”

“You mean when you said women shouldn’t run for office,” Carmy interrupts him flatly.

“That was a fucking joke! And it was, like, twelve years ago! I love women in office! I fuckin’ voted for Hillary in 2016—” he ignores when Carmy snorts in his face, incredulous, “—and maybe if she actually had a sense of humor sometimes she wouldn’t have ended up marrying that goddamn fucking narc. Has the personality of fuckin’ wet tissue paper. You know how many times he’s tried inviting me over for a fuckin’ family barbecue or some shit like that? Like I’m the one who actually needs an invitation. Probably just trying to trick me into making friendship bracelets with him while watching Paw Patrol or some other fuckin’ propaganda—”

Richie’s rant continues, and it’s so ridiculous that Carmy can’t help the genuine laughter that bubbles out of him at the mental image of it, ducking his face into his arms to hide his smile; except Richie’s caught on and started laughing, too, chest rumbling beneath Carmy’s weight, and it honestly surprises him, how at ease he feels. Naked under the covers, lying on top of Richie of all people, and he’s actually laughing.

Carmy doesn’t really use the word happy to describe how he feels because he thinks it’s too loaded, too precarious, too complex. He doesn’t want to say he’s happy because the notion is difficult for him to pinpoint, and even when he does it usually doesn’t last too long anyways—but he feels… light. All of his usual heaviness absent for once. He feels good.

When he brings his face back up he finds Richie already looking at him, focused on his face, the trace of a smile still present in the curve of his lips, and Carmy can’t tell what the emotion in his eyes is but it looks a little bit like—marvel. It’s the same way Marcus looks at the pages he’d printed out of Carmy’s cookbook, carefully and lovingly taped onto the wall of his station, the fascination of discovering something new, of resonating with it; and Carmy doesn’t know what to do with that.

But then Richie’s eyes fall a bit, fixing themselves on a specific part of his face—Richie’s hand comes up to cup it, nothing unusual by now, but Carmy’s overcome by the warmth he still feels in his chest at the touch, this simple intimacy. Richie’s palm is familiar and calloused around his cheek, and it makes Carmy want to lean into it.

“What’s this from?” Richie murmurs questioningly, running the pad of his thumb gently down the skin of his cheek, just below his right eye, and it takes a moment for Carmy to realize he’s talking about his scar. “Fall into a barbecue again?”

Carmy huffs, half amused. “No. No, uh… it’s stupid. Happened while I was drunk, years ago. Back in New York, when I first left.”

Richie raises his eyebrows at that. “What, you actually got into a fuckin’ fight? I mean, sounds dope, but having a sick ass battle scar on your face isn’t really in character for you, no offense.”

Carmy rolls his eyes. “No, it wasn’t a fight—I… was drinking, and it was kind of just something I did, in the very beginning, I guess. In my downtime, by myself in my apartment because it wasn’t like I had any friends or anything better to do, and it was just supposed to be a way to keep myself occupied. Get me to fall asleep faster, if anything, so I wouldn’t fucking lie awake in bed all night thinking about shit. Except that time it backfired on me, because I got—” Carmy breathes out through his nose, an almost amused, self-deprecating laugh, “So drunk, and all I could think about was—Mikey.

“And I was just so fucking upset. I felt hurt, you know. Had been hurt for the whole past year, and I’d deleted Mikey’s number off my phone months ago so I wouldn’t do anything monumentally fucking stupid like call him while I was drunk or something. And I think I was just… fed up, at that point. I was so fuckin’ angry, at Mikey, at myself, at everyone that I just… kind of had this meltdown. Nearly trashed my whole fuckin’ apartment. Was breaking shit, throwing shit around, and when it was over I found myself in my bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror for the longest time. And I hated what I saw, because it didn’t feel like me. I never felt like myself back then. Didn’t know who I was supposed to be without Mikey and Sugar and everybody else around, and I hated that about me.

“And eventually all I could think about was—” Carmy cuts himself off, thinking about the words. How to say them. “How much I needed… a change. How much I wanted to. But I think I took that a little too literally, or maybe I just wasn’t fucking thinking at all, because I just… slammed my face into the mirror, as hard as I could. Like I was in a fuckin’ movie or something, you know. And there was all this fuckin’ glass, blood everywhere, my face totally fucked, all that shit. It was a mess. I could barely fucking see.”

Richie watches him recount the story with quiet intensity, and even though Carmy doesn’t look back at him he can feel Richie’s eyes on his face, gaze intent. But it doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable, or awkward, or exposed, the way having someone’s undivided attention usually makes him feel. In the moment, he simply just feels listened to. Richie’s watching him, but Carmy doesn’t feel watched; just seen.

“So what happened after? Just bled out all over your fuckin’ floor?”

Carmy huffs. “No, I, uh… had to take myself to the hospital. It was, like, three in the morning. Got four stitches out of it, and still showed up to work the next day.”

He’s expecting Richie to make fun of him, honestly. And why wouldn’t he? He thinks it might just be because of the good mood he’s in, but Carmy’s surprised to find that he doesn’t feel any residual bitterness recalling the memory. Thinks if he were anybody else he’d laugh at himself, too.

Richie doesn’t make fun of him, though. “That might actually be the most hardcore shit you’ve ever told me.” Richie sniffs. “Almost as hardcore as walking off a stab wound, anyways. You’re getting there.”

Carmy actually laughs, the memory of it amusing now that it’s all behind him. It seems fucking ridiculous, looking back on it now. It’s only been a few months, but it feels like a lifetime ago; when he tries to think about it now, he feels like a spectator of his own life, watching the events unfold from someone else's perspective, or like standing from the outside and looking in. He gets that feeling a lot, Carmy thinks.

“You know, I never actually asked you about that. Were you good? Like, was the wound deep, or…”

“Gee, thanks for the concern. Not like it happened, like, six fuckin’ months ago. Glad to know I mean so much to you.”

“Shut up and just tell me. And you probably really did fucking deserve it.”

Richie scoffs. “Couldn’t fucking tell you. Hurt like a goddamn bitch when it happened, though. Got Ebra to patch me up. Couldn’t sit right for a couple weeks, but it was whatever.” He sniffs. “At least it was somewhere people don’t see it. Not sure if that’ll make for a cool scar story in the future.”

“What, like mine was?”

“Nah, yours is just depressing. Do me a favor—next time somebody asks, just tell them you got it in a bar fight like a normal person.” Richie says, and then after a pause, “That why you don’t drink?”

It’s this question that finally makes Carmy feel embarrassed for some reason, glancing up at the ceiling. “Something like that.”

“Damn. And I thought Mikey was the one who was fucked up.”

Carmy laughs a little again, in spite of everything, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, well. Guess it runs through the fuckin’ family.”

“They call you guys the Bears for a reason,” Richie says simply. But he still has his hand on Carmy’s face, running his thumb over his scar absentmindedly, like trying to soothe away pain that hasn’t been there for years. It’s a subtle sort of intimacy, quiet and tender. It’s Richie’s touch and not the recollection that makes Carmy’s chest prickle, and he wonders briefly if this is something he ever did with Mikey: lying in the dark, listening to each others’ stories, touching without thinking about it.

He wonders if this is how Richie treats those he cares the most about, or maybe if he’s just gotten close enough to be able to experience this side of him. If this is what it’s like to be Richie’s best friend, to trust someone wholeheartedly, sharing moments that are quiet and intimate and vulnerable.

“Alright,” Richie continues, making Carmy glance up. “Your turn.”

Carmy looks at him quizzically. “My turn for what?”

“Ask me something. Nothing off limits, everything on the table. You shared something about yourself so it’s only natural for me to do the same.”

Carmy frowns a little at this, if only because the notion is strange to him. It’s not like he’s never been open and honest with Richie before—in fact, those moments have been occurring more often than he’d honestly like to admit—but it feels different, this way. To be given the opportunity, no holds barred, because usually Carmy refrains from ever prying too deep; not just with Richie, but with everybody.

He rolls off Richie’s chest back onto the bed, lying on his side with his head propped in his hand as he considers. Richie is surprisingly patient for once, offering him the silence to think, and the whole thing honestly just makes Carmy flustered.

“Is there…” Carmy starts uncertainly, hesitating, but continues when Richie turns to him, expectant. “Is there a reason why you keep your ring?”

Richie stares at him for a moment, uncomprehending, before glancing down at the golden wedding band on his finger, like he’d forgotten that it was there, like he didn’t even know he was wearing it. Then his expression twists, incredulous, like he can’t believe that out of all the things Carmy could’ve possibly asked him about it’s his goddamn wedding ring.

“Why, does it make you jealous or something?” Richie teases him. “Does it make you feel like you’re my mistress?”

Carmy’s face turns hot, but he tells himself it’s out of annoyance rather than embarrassment. “You know what? Forget I asked.”

Richie chuckles, running his knuckles over Carmy’s side placatingly. “Nah, nah, I’m kidding. Uh… if I’m being honest, it’s, like, a distraction. Something for me to worry with. I stopped wearing it after me and Tiff split, but I started wearing it again after Mikey. I dunno. I guess after he died it felt like… nothing was right. Just everything gone to complete shit, and the ring just felt familiar. Like, having it there reminded me of this time in my life where I kind of, sort of had things together, and I guess I just wanted to feel that way again somehow, even if in reality it’s the complete fuckin’ opposite.”

Carmy nods slowly. In a sense, he thinks he gets it. Clinging onto that sense of familiarity; needing the illusion of stability in his life. He understands him.

[supernaturalkickparty]

You ask for asks and I come bearing a wincest Wednesday question! Do you think Sam ever admitted his feelings for Dean to anybody else and vice versa?

Bless you for the Wincest Wednesday question🖤

Ok so I totally think Sam told Jess. I've written it myself and I headcanon Jess knew.

Gonna rant and add some samjess for this Wincest Wednesday

To me Jess knew because as much as people act like Sam kept her totally in the dark I don't think she was fully clueless to who he was.

She knew he had a rocky childhood, moved around a lot. Dad wasn't really around because of working a lot/traveling for work. Big brother was always there.

She knew that he didn't have a lot of the typical childhood experiences and she was glad to do everything with him.

She noticed he was more likely to open up while they were baking, cooking, or doing normal mundane things.

She found out their freshman year while at an art walk/farmers market that he had never gone trick or treating. That their father wouldn't allow it and him and his big brother just stayed home and watched movies.

"Sammy, we're 19, technically still kids, we're going trick or treating."

She buys them masks from the dollar store and some trick or treating bags too.

As they go from house to house she sees him loosen up and have fun. Eventually she learns his brother's name.

"Dean would never let me live it down if he saw me like this"

That's also when she remembers he's said the name Dean under his breath when she's blowing him. She let's it go for now.

As time goes on she learns more and more about him and Dean.

Dean would do this and Dean would do that.

Nobody could beat Dean in a game of pool or cards

She's come to find out that Dean could do it all.

Junior year he finally let's it slip, they're drinking a little too much, it's the end of the semester and they're celebrating.

Jess is talking about her first crush/first love/first boyfriend/first time and all the awkwardness that comes with being a teenager in love.

"I never really had anyone other than Dean. He was everything and more to me."

That's all Sam says, but it's all she needs to know to confirm what she's always felt.

Sam's always spoken of Dean so fondly like he was long lost love instead of a brother.

She understands though, it was just them two. Two kids on the road with no one but each other for comfort and companionship.

She doesn't judge him and she's not going to try to replace Dean at all.

But she's gonna try her best to be whatever Sam needs and so far she thinks she's been doing a good job.

[nemmet]

honest to goodness my ultimate dream is to someday make a youtube video essay on fred as an autistic character. i've already made a good handful posts on the topic, and anyone who knows me knows how passionate i am about this aspect of him, but i really feel that a video essay would be the perfect format for a thorough breakdown on it all.

fred's autism isn't quite as speculated/widely known as velma's being a lesbian, but recently many more people have been (re)discovering his autistic coding (and canon autism in sdmi!), celebrating and identifying with it. as an autistic person with a special interest in this silly character, it makes me so happy! i'm hopeful that this will someday lead to a piece of scooby media where it's fully canon again, maybe even mentioned in the text like velma's crush on coco in trick or treat.

all this being said, i think there's now an audience out there that would be interested in hearing about the history of his character, the autistic traits he displays, why people like me find him relatable, and so on! the only things holding me back are that i haven't yet seen everything scooby that he appears in (i grew up on all the movies but am still not up to date on many of the tv shows), and my terrible organisation skills (oops). so i made this post as sort of a prompt for myself, and for people to add their thoughts/suggestions for if i do manage to make it (you will of course be fully credited if these are mentioned in the video). does it double as an excuse for me to ramble about my favourite character? yes, absolutely.

that's all for now, goodnight coolsville (gets promptly run over by the mystery machine)

[harlowsbby]

ooh here’s a phoenix concept for you😌 phoenix playing Cupid and trying to get his two favourite people, his uncle jack and auntie sarah together😌🤷🏽‍♀️ i for one think this is a great idea for a concept😋

Just like magic

hmmm you’re lucky I love you 😭💗

“Okay this is what we’re going to do Lilla.” Phoenix was having a playdate with his best friend Lilla from school, she was spending the weekend at Urban and Yours house while her parents were out of town for the weekend.

Urban and You got caught up that following Sunday with running around town and getting errands done so you asked Jack and your friend Sarah if they’d be able to babysit the kids, they happily said yes.

“What if your Uncle Jack doesn’t like Ms. Sarah? Then what will happen.” Lilla asked Phoenix, his little chubby finger started tapping his chin at that being a possible outcome.

“I don’t think so Lilla I think Uncle Jack likes Ms. Sarah very much I mean when my daddy likes my mommy he always makes jokes with her and uncle jack has been doing that all day.”

“You’re so right Phoenix! And did you notice earlier before your daddy left Uncle Jack told him that he was happy he gets to spend some time with Sarah!” Phoenix and Lilla cheered in excitement, project get Uncle Jack and Ms. Sarah together was underway.

“Jack you’re totally pouring way too much batter into the cupcake tins everything will overflow.” Sarah’s voice came from the kitchen followed by Jack’s laugh.

“Well you aren’t exactly showing me are you? I think I need your help or else the kids won’t like them.” Jack flirted Sarah’s cheeks turned a slight pink and she showed Jack the proper way to do it.

“Did you see her cheeks get pink?” Lilla asked Phoenix who nodded his head eagerly.

“Yes I did! So here’s the plan, I will act like I fell and hurt myself and while Ms. Sarah helps me you can talk to Uncle Jack and say Ms. Sarah really likes him!”

“Sounds good Phoenix.”

Phoenix and Lillia went to play outside in the backyard, they purposely left the door open so Jack and Sarah would hear Phoenix “crying”

“Are you ready?” Phoenix told Lilla she nodded and smiled before pushing Phoenix to the ground he immediately started “crying” before the two of them knew it here came Jack and Sarah rushing towards them.

“What happened?! Why is he crying.” Jack bent down and inspected Phoenix making sure nothing was broken.

“Lilla pushed me because I wouldn’t let her play with my truck but it’s my truck.” Phoenix cried out, Lilla looked at Phoenix in amazement he had actually managed to make himself cry.

“Oh Phoenix it’s okay buddy, Jack I’ll take Phoenix and kill him up just stay here with Lilla please.” Sarah picked up Phoenix and took him inside while Jack waited outside with Lilla.

“Lilla why did you push Phoenix over? That isn’t very nice you know, we don’t do that to our friends.” Jack tried scolding Lilla but he hated scolding kids.

“I didn’t well I did but Phoenix told me do it.” Jack looked down at her now completely confused.

“What do you mean Phoenix told you push him? Why would he tell you to push him.” Lilla giggled and shrugged her shoulders.

“Because you like Ms. Sarah! And Phoenix wanted to get you both to be in love like his mommy and daddy.” Jack’s cheeks turned red in embarrassment, was it that obvious that he liked Sarah?

“Well I appreciate Phoenix and You both but I think I got the rest of this handled.” Jack and Lilla went back inside just in time to see Phoenix and Sarah coming around the corner.

“How are you feeling Phoenix?” Jack asked now normally Jack would rat Phoenix out on his little trick but he decided to keep it going.

“I’m feeling much better Uncle Jack, thank you for being concerned.” Sarah and Jack laughed before looking at one another.

“You think I talk to you real quick Sarah?”

“Sure”

Little did Jack know Phoenix was in the bathroom telling Sarah how much of a crush Jack had on her, Jack decided it was time to act on his feelings towards Sarah.

Phoenix tapped Lillia’s shoulder, he leaned over to her ear and whispered.

“I think we should get out of here that’s the look my daddy gives my mommy before they start kissing.”

“Ewww you’re right let’s go Phoenix.” Jack shooed them off before admitting his feelings to Sarah, Phoenix might’ve been a pain at times but he had a heart of gold and always meant well.

( some Phoenix content 💗 )

taglist

@lcandothisallday @moody4world

@jackharloww @mortirolo

@awhoere4more @nattinatalia

@heavyhitterheaux @softtcurse

[midmorning-bomb]

⭐ for the director’s cut <3

Thank you for indulging me, Anonymous ❤️

So! I had this idea for a sequel to Everything goes (wow) that would bring them back to Beacon Hills and circle around to Peter's failed summoning attempt.

Instead, with It's only, I ended up with the absolute set of contradictions that is Chris Argent's character and started exploring that and it kind of went over like a lead balloon. But it also led to this scene halfway through the story where Chris has to confront himself/his past/his choices (or lack thereof):

Chris gasps for air that isn’t coming.

He’s been drowning for years. God, he can’t even remember what it feels like to have his head above water.

He bribes his way in to look at the bodies. It’s hard to admit it’s easier, as a wolf, picking up things that human senses would gloss right over. He recognizes a scent on one of the bodies. It doesn’t make sense (it does, though, ice in his veins), he knows that combination. Late evenings in their garden, father-daughter bonding, teaching hunter tricks. Crushing up and blending licorice root and pennyroyal.

His hard-earned control is slipping in the rain, water sluicing down around claws and the bloody trails they leave across his chest. He lets out a ragged laugh because he knows what he did to deserve this, he knows. How could anyone grow whole out of poisoned soil? The only way he can make it through the day is to never wonder if any of them were innocent. The feral ones all alone (were they?), the ones who might have snapped (would they?), the ones who might’ve grown up...

“Dad, they weren’t good people. We made sure of that.” Pleading, righteous eyes lock on his own.

“You have to understand, Mr. Argent, we can do so much more once we get out of here. It will make all of this worth it, and we only need one mo—”

He closes his eyes and fights the urge to cover his ears. “Do you hear yourself, Lydia? You’re talking about murder. You are talking about killing someone, another someone, in cold blood.”

Learning about anchors, what tethers wolves (how to break them), is part of every hunter’s education. Chris has watched with clinical detachment as living beings before him crumble and howl out the pain after severing. Where his anchor should be, where he should be allowed to fall apart, the Nemeton twists its iron hold. There’s no escape into numbing madness, just the sound of his feet pounding against the slick ground of the forest as he runs.

“It’s the only way we can get out of here, it promised. I love you, but you really can’t stop this.”

He stares at his daughter and silence eats the growing space between them, consumes his heart and lungs, and he thinks she’s never looked more like her mother than she does right now.

Which is one of my favourites! And an area where I feel canon did a disservice* by glossing over what must be the Argents' history. Like, sorry Chris, I want to peel you like a grape and see how you work.

Also I patted myself on the back forever with the song choice for this chapter: Beautiful Hell by Adna

*From what I've read/researched, bless every fan over the years who has tried to cobble together a Teen Wolf timeline.

[ran-orimoto]

You're an only on many who talks about J.P on this site. I can ask you what you think on Junpei becoming a singer for Izumi? Doesn't it make you angry?

Hi, Anon. Thank you for the ask. You kinda… Touched a delicate topic here, because I have got mixed feelings about this Serena from Pokemon situation, but, surprisingly, I’m not totally condemning this choice from the writers like some have. I…Can look at it more brightly than people expect me to and I can also say I don’t think the opera singer thing came out of blue.

For starters, there’s a part of me who wants to believe he was embarassed about Izumi teasing him. It’s an audio drama and we have no idea about his expression there. If you ask me, Izumi mentioning the ice skater and Tourin Olympics is way too specific to be a random anecdote that hasn’t had an impact on Junpei’s past self. I think that “Junpei, you’re really a fanboy” kinda made him awkward on the spot. On another hand, it’s obvious his crush is still there and his “I’m studying opera to be closer to you” hasn’t been thrown there for a nonsense reason, either, which means there might be a pinch of truth in what he says.

It…Sucks? It…Disgusts you because it shows Junpei is stuck at the same point, which is also something he was aware about in the original series? Remember the library scene with Tomoki, where he admits he hasn’t changed at all? It makes you wince because Junpei was supposed to be an engineer or a magician? I understand these feelings very well, but I also want to see, indeed, try seeing a sense in whatever they have done in that drama (which is my favourite one from Frontier, mind you).

Taking in consideration the job choice, I believe there have been two reasons behind it:

• Junpei’s skill at entertaining people that has been shown in the whole anime.

• The necessity of connecting characters with Italy.

• Junpei being interested in Izumi’s culture and not becoming a singer because of her, but getting into a field connected with Italy because of her, because he wants to connect with her through her language and culture. “Get closer” means “I want to get closer to your world so we can also get closer as friends”.

Listen, as an opera fan, I want to underline sometimes I find myself wishing he had taken on some other kind of career as well. Junpei is a very colourful character, showing to be good at the most disparate activities: he is good with kids and you think he would be a great teacher like Juri and Hikari (Digimon, we need a man teacher among your characters, just saying); he likes drawing on freaking blue prints and you think he could give engineering or architecture a chance; there are some scenes in which he seems to interact with Trailmon so often and you think he could turn driving trains in a future job; he’s interested in magical tricks and, like many would have liked, you can imagine him going professional in the field; he likes imagining himself as the mc of a tv series, so you can picture him as an actor.

All of these observations are valid and true but the point in his character is that Junpei is just interested in so much different stuff. Profiles describe him as a “kid who is bad at school but has got an academic knowledge thanks to his interest in miscellaneous stuff”. And you can notice this trait of his scattered in the show in the smallest and silliest frames too, like, for example, when he mentions elephants’ graves, or when he raises his hands up to the Sun and mentions UV rays, or when he quotes horror tropes. In the most recent drama he also reveals himself to be a fan of detective stories??🤣 He has got a lot of interests and I can kinda see this as something he does to deal with loneliness. Always staying alone, maybe he reads a lot or watches ton of documentaries.

Headcanons aside, Junpei could have been all these things but their attention ended up falling on his most entertaining side, pushing them to pick the opera singing career.

Now. Unlike Takuya, Junpei has always had an interest in Italy thanks to Izumi. In the anime it’s never shown except when he joins her while she’s yelling “Buono! Buono!” before eating at the island restaurant. Yet, it’s a characteristic of his that surfaces in “Izumi’s Love letters”, or whatever it is called. It’s basically the part of the 2002 drama where she sends imaginary letters to the boys, Junpei included. In the one she addresses him, she talks about the fact Junpei makes her happy when he seems interested in her tales about Italy, especially when it comes to food, and she proposes him (+ the others, she specifies at the end XD) to visit Italy together.

It has always been there and even if that curiosity was born in him thanks to Izumi, I’m so sure he is cultivating his interest on his own as well. You…Can’t absolutely take on opera if you don’t feel it in your heart🤣. It’s a suicide, okay, and ,most of all, you have to own that gift to pursue that dream. It’s not like you will start studying opera and you just need to study to go forward. It’s not enough at all. Thus, Izumi saying Junpei has entered an honour university after some opera exam makes you understand he’s seriously giving his best in what he’s doing and is also rather great at it.

“But he’s doing it to get closer to Izumi whwhwhwhwhhwhwhwwwwwweewe”

Not only ,in my opinion. He’s also taken that path thanks to Izumi, because that’s how their relationship has always worked, -excluding times in which the writing was trash-.

It’s not like I want to say the others have got no role in Junpei’s and Izumi’s growth, but looking back at Frontier for a nth time with a dear friend is making me realize how their friendship was based on improving thanks to the other’s presence. Izumi faced her issues for the first time in a serious way thanks to Junpei in the Tsunomon episode. Her collaboration with him and her opening herself to him without prejudices helped her move forward and take a first step towards her improvement. Junpei learnt how to be more genuine around her, starting from being such a spoiled a$$ to understanding he could build a good relationship with her if he was himself. Compare the Floramon ep with the Tsunomon ep to notice how he became a totally different person in her regards after having got the spirit, whereas he keeps on being tough to Takuya and Co. If we exclude the sexist philosophy behind the Bolgmon episode, we can take in consideration that the affection he had towards Izumi also pushed him to go over his limits even when he felt so unsure about doing it. He wanted to get her spirit back and it was enough for him to give a glance at her sadness to get courage, get his beast spirit and maintain a partial control on it: actually, Bolgmon managed to hit Grottemon only when he remembered he was attacking him for Izumi’s sake.

There’s…Nothing wrong in getting inspired from a person and letting that person shape us; in seeing them as a sort Muse of light in a world that’s probably too dark to allow us to see where we should put our feet. What matters, though, is to go over that phase eventually and build our person on the precious lessons our Muse has given us. “Train of Hope”introduces us to a still immature Junpei who has got a lot to learn, a very flawed Junpei who can both be himself around his crush but can also make the mistakes he used to make as a kid, and, again, guys, it’s fine??? Digiworld doesn’t mark the end of these kids’ development. Every kid seems to still be flawed at its worst in that drama, not only Junpei.

Still, we are talking about him now, and what I can tell you is that the infamous tenor role they have given him has got a lot of potential behind its frivolous appearance. It could give Junpei the opportunity to live new experiences outside Japan, grow further, plunge in a world of entertainment aiming at making people both laugh and cry, and that’s also perfect for a character like him. A grey one who could hold both comedy and tragedy in himself; a lightning that can both bring but also rob the world of light. In a nutshell, he wouldn’t only be a perfect tenor because of his knight fantasies and his unrequited crush XD.

And if these experiences will help him grow out of his crush on Izumi, may it happen. Somehow, even if I could spend ages talking about Junzumi and spreading love for them, I would find it a very good ending for him: him eventually finding happiness first of all in himself and, possibly, in another person as well. By then, he will have become a much better person and ,you never know, sometimes he might remember how everything started and might thank Digiworld and Izumi for everything.

PSA Just a question: do you use J.P as a nickname for him?🤣💕