#of all the funny objects it had to be this guy

[kittynugg]

hi i wrote some stangst

words: 1,737

p.s: REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!! credit to my pal @empressofsamoyeds (soorry for the tag) for the idea! ALSO DO NOT TAG THIS AS SHIP CONTENT. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU IF YOU SHIP THEM.

Stan stepped out of the shower, shuddering as the cold air hit his skin. Like every other time he showered he was quick to towel himself off and get dressed in the first clothes he could get his hands on. So.. the clothes he’d been wearing for the past month, now? They smelled. He’d have to do something about that sooner or later.

The mirror was fogged up as he tied up his damp hair, but he could still see just enough of what he was doing to get it done. 

He stared at his blurry reflection. When he reached to wipe the condensation off of the surface he hesitated, his expression somehow going more blank than that numbness he’d been used to for years. That was.. Funny. He kinda looked like Ford with his hair up like that and the mirror all foggy.

No, he really looked like him.

That familiar empty feeling washed over him as he looked into the mirror, his brain filling in the blanks made by the distorted surface. A pair of glasses. A coat. The haunted look of a guy who’d seen things that shouldn’t even be possible in his eyes.

It took him a while to tear his attention away, maybe a couple of minutes, but once he did he rubbed the sting out of his eyes and left the bathroom. His “walk” had become more of a trudge in the past few weeks. He did whatever that was down the hall. Something about almost seeing his face made his feet even heavier, made the decision to get up that morning even more regrettable.

But it also gave him this weird resolve to keep going.

Maybe if he didn’t kill himself he could actually see that face. Alive, safe, maybe even happy. 

He kicked open the door to the office or study he was staying in, announcing in a sitcom-y voice, “honey, I’m home!” Then he put his hands on his hips with a distant grin. “Oh, wait! I don’t have a wife! Or a husband! I’m all alone and nobody fuckin’ loves me because the only person who ever did is god-knows-where!” An unhinged laugh bubbled up in his chest.

“..Anyway,” he flattened after finishing his manic display, then collapsed face-first into the couch he’d been ‘sleeping’ on. Nice couch. Felt like the only thing in the world that actually supported him. “But it’s an inanimate object,” Ford would say, not getting the joke. 

And then he’d say something like.. “You’re an inanimate object, nerd.” Then Ford would tell him that was wrong and that he wasn’t making any sense. Stan would just laugh at him.

Back in the real world, he shifted on the cushions to make himself comfortable. He knew just how bad the idea was. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get up. Right now, he just couldn’t force himself to care. Whenever he was up, he’d be up. Wasn’t like anything was waiting for him. Ford actually wasn’t on the other side of that portal, facing whatever it was that had him terrified enough to speak to him again. 

Everything was fine. Great, even! So great that he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He heaved a muffled sigh into the couch, knowing that if he pulled his face away from it now it’d be stained with tears. Now he was fucking crying.

Pa would tell him to man up and do something about it. When he tried, his arms wouldn’t move to push him up and his legs only shifted into a more comfortable position. The couch was warm. The basement was so, so cold.

Get up.

He tried again. This time he was too lazy to move at all.

Repeating the command didn’t work. Get up.

Just get up. You need to get up so you can work on the portal so you can get Ford back so you won’t have a reason to cry anymore. Come on, this is the first step. The first step is always the hardest. Up up up. Please.

Instead of listening, his body just sighed again. Then he folded his arms under his forehead to put some space between his face and the couch and shut his eyes.

----

Eventually, he found himself blearily waking up with half of his body hanging on the couch and the rest on the floor. The very first thing that caught his eye was the light from the window glinting against Ford’s glasses, abandoned on the table where he could be reminded of why he was still kicking every time he woke up.

He peeled himself off the hardwood floor with a grunt and stood there for a moment as his shitty excuse for a brain sputtered and revved like his car when he tried to start it. He’d have to do something about that sooner or later.

…

Ford. Right.

A hesitant hand reached toward the glasses, and he turned them in his hand. The lenses were smudged. Ford never let his glasses get smudged. Always crystal clear or it was like he didn’t have them at all, they had to be perfect. He wondered if Ford still carried a spare on him. If he didn’t.. Shit, Stan couldn’t even imagine that. Not just being sucked into whatever nightmare he was so worried about but having to deal with it blind.

The thought of Ford, his brother, of all the people on this Earth (or.. outside of it), going through that made him sick. Maybe he should eat sometime today. Slice of toast might settle his stomach down for a bit. 

He stared down at the spectacles in his hand and shook his head, then wiped them on his shirt. Lifting them up to the window shone enough light through the lenses for him to see that they were still smudged, just.. Spread around. His shirt was dirty.

Typical, he just made it worse. A look was cast around the room, nearly untouched in the month he’d been there.  “Just fuckin’ poetic,” he whispered to himself if only to test if he even had it in him to talk. “It’s just like my life.” His eyes narrowed at the glasses. “..In a way.”

Barely resisting the urge to throw the damn thing, he set the glasses back on the table and looked toward the door. He should get to work.

He picked up the glasses again, leaving the room with the gait of someone wading in cement. 

It was the same autopilot he’d been on for ages that led him back into the bathroom. When he slipped the glasses onto his face, his vision actually cleared a little. Maybe he should look into getting an eye test sometime. 

He put up a finger and spoke in his best Ford impression, “I may be a little bookworm, but I know what I’m talking about!” The sheer accuracy of the voice made him chuckle. He sounded just like him!

When he found himself staring at his reflection again, his other hand reached for the shower. The knob creaked as he turned it to the highest temperature and he watched absently as the mirror fogged up again.

Hair was up. Glasses were on.

They really were twins..

His shoulders drooped, and after a few seconds of careful consideration he spoke up. “Hey, Poindexter.” No, that wasn’t right. Say his name. “..Ford.” 

Another pause. Then he folded his arms behind his back and spoke in that impression again. “Stanley,” he greeted himself under his breath. Something about it, something about hearing Ford’s voice and– and almost seeing his face was..

It hurt.

But it felt good. The kind of hurt that he couldn’t help but reach for, like the burn of alcohol or a cigarette. Speaking of which, he was running out. He’d have to do something about that sooner or later. Not now. He was busy right now.

“I’m, uh..” his fingertips tapped together in a subconscious tic. “Still trying to get you back, Ford.” A smile spread across his face and he gestured behind him with his thumb. “I’ve been reading your textbooks, yanno, it’s actually startin’ to make sense. It’s not as fancy and sophisticated as you had it but it’s something to show for all the work I’ve been puttin’ in..”

Arms made their way behind his back again and he straightened his posture a little. “My idiot brother, learning physics..” A wistful sigh from “Ford”. “And it only took the worst tragedy of your life to finally kickstart it.” His expression softened, and he moved to place his hand on a shoulder that wasn’t there. His fingers twitched. “You know I’m proud of you, right? Not everyone would go through this much effort for.. Anyone, really.”

He needed to hear that. From the real Ford. This was good enough for now.

“I know, yeah.. I just– I hope you’re still out there. If you’re dead, or.. worse, I don’t know what I’d do with myself, Ford. I don’t know what I’d fucking do, and–” he took in a sharp breath, running a hand down the side of his face. His nails dug into the skin. “And I’m really scared to think about it.”

Silence.

His voice cracked when he spoke again. “..I’m scared, Ford.” The glasses over his eyes and the fog fading from the mirror left him with nothing. Nothing. A reminder of just how little he had. That was it.

And Ford offered no response.

Tears dirtied the lenses of the glasses even more, so he took them off and swiped at his eyes. He set them on the rim of the sink. This was stupid. All of this was stupid. Why was he still here? Why was he still holding on?

His legs wobbled underneath him and he just.. sat on the floor and gave in. With a shaky breath, he gave his tears a moment to fall and murmured into his knees, “because you’re my brother.”

It took him a few minutes. Maybe half an hour. But eventually, Stan pushed himself up and retrieved Ford’s glasses. He rinsed them in the sink to clean the dried tears off of them and only stopped when they were spotless. Crystal clear. The way Ford liked them.

Turning to leave, he muttered, “Love you, bro.”

“I love you too, Stanley. I’m sorry for everything.”

..He already forgave him.

(note: might be a part two with ford if im feeling brave)

[tyrantisterror]

What are your thoughts on mascot horror franchises other than FNAF? Such as Poppy Playtime and Bendy? (Those two feel like they form a “big three” with FNAF.)

I think it's objectively funny that Five Nights at Freddy's managed to capture the "every entry of this franchise was written by different people who did not actually watch the previous installments and do not give a single shit about having a coherent continuity" problem of slasher movie franchises like Friday the 13th despite the fact that, at least for the first several entries, it was all written by one guy.

Like, the problem first became apparent when FNAF 2 decided it was a prequel instead of a sequel as a Clever Twist when everything about it would have made SO much more sense as a sequel, but it became a true clusterfuck when FNAF 4's whole premise was clearly about the much-talked-about "Bite of '87" incident only to end by saying ACTUALLY it was about a DIFFERENT bite incident from 1983. Like, it went out of its way to make less sense for no reason, and it was all written by one guy! Just one guy! Very dumb in a fascinating way.

Anyway, overall I feel apathy to the Mascot Horror genre. I think it's good that there is horror that's explicitly aimed at kids - kids like horror, and they haven't really had much horror that's catered to them since Goosebumps went out of fashion and Are You Afraid of the Dark? went off the air. They should get to have fun thinking about scary monsters and super creeps.

But, like, at the same time, so much of Mascot horror just feels really low effort? It's the horror equivalent of Cocomelon, which kinda sucks. I wish we could get the Horror Equivalent of, like... what's a good kid's show I can compliment without hordes of people showing up in my inbox calling me a fascist sympathizer? Adventure Time? I wish we could get the horror equivalent of Adventure Time. I mean, we kinda have it already since a lot of Adventure Time episodes are little horror stories in their own right. Hmm... the horror equivalent of Undertale, maybe? IDK.

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ohohoho, I see more stp related character ask games. In which case, thoughts on Hunted? Could always use more Hunted content out here

(Ooooo Hunted!!! The silliest of fellas)

(And as I’m writing this my appreciation for him just skyrockets ten fold. He makes me. Let’s just say. Feral.)

(Ask is here!!! vvvvvv Sorry that it looks like this, I’m on IPad🗿)

(Also the reply is getting too long (again), sooo gonna put a cut somewhere here…)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how reliable he is in general. I feel like he’s probably the voice that is the most loyal to Quiet alongside Hero. He just really doesn’t seem like the type of character to have any hidden agenda underneath his actions. He’s just, when he thinks of something, he’d just do it instinctively. I love how he just focuses on the now and what’s happening around him, and doesn’t rely on what he sees only. He’s a really simple guy and all he really wants is safety. And I really like that about him. (The contrast between him and Oppy is glaring here)

And also despite the fact that instinct is a big part that makes him “him”, he’s not completely feral and still holds that humanity inside of him. I think he’s pretty darn neat.

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

It’s how little he had appeared 😭😭😭

He needs more chapter 3 appearances aside from his own

Both him and Skeptic need more chapters actually.

(And honestly I don’t have much “””bad””” stuff to say about him. He’s just overall a very likeable character to me)

FAVORITE LINE

“Does a cat lie to a cornered mouse just to play with its freedom, or is it acting out its own nature?” (You’ll see this line again)

“The Look. We’ve all used it.”

“Looking at her makes me sad.”

BROtp

Gotta say Hunted and Witch. Hunted pairs well with many other voices and vessels, but the thought of two semi-feral characters interacting with each other is kind of adorable to me. Just. Similar brain wave signals. Vrrrrrrrr. Y’know.

Witch would just sniff Hunted and be like “hmmm he doesn’t smell like a liar to me” and she would just be chilling with him with half an eye closed and half of it open. Just in case. And Hunted just sees her as someone who’s gotten hurt. And had to fight back like a scared animal. So I think he would empathise with her. Idk.

Stubborn and Hunted is a good one too. I could imagine Stubborn and Hunted just sparring with each other whenever they could. The battle always ends in a stalemate though, since Hunted just dodges Stubborn’s attacks most of the time. And by the time Hunted is tired dodging Stubborn is tired as well. But knowing Stubborn he would try to throw a punch at him anyway. And then failing cause they have bodies now. Stubborn takes it as a challenge and is thrilled to see what other stuff Hunted could do. Unstoppable force vs Immovable object.

And the mental thought of Stubborn throwing Hunted like a Pokeball and be like “Hunted I choose you” is just so funny to me. And. Just. Hunted riding on Stubborn’s shoulder. So cute.

OTP

He honestly pairs well with a lot of them tbh, so I don’t think I can choose an exact one.

NOtp

I have none hehe

RANDOM HEADCANON

He would sometimes bite the other voices to show affection. If he is feeling really bite-y that day he would just find something to chew on just so he won’t accidentally hurt the others.

Also, the current smaller form you see of him is not his full form. That’s just him holding back his more feral side, and hence why he looks so tiny. He’s way taller and stronger than he looks.

(Sneak peak of his feral form!!!)

A more antsy head canon I’ve got for him is that a part of him always have this urge to consume the other voices since they are technically parts of the same guy. He feels really guilty about feeling this way. When that feeling is too strong he would lock himself away from the flock until it passes.

UNPOPULAR OPINION

(This is becoming less of an unpopular opinion and more of a ramble as I’m writing this, but I’m just gonna keep this here because I think this is pretty interesting)

I feel like he would take an integral role in helping the other voices in fighting against their nature, since he is so used to doing that himself. Many of the fics I’ve read where the voices are starting to become more complex and more than their nature often doesn’t mention Hunted at all. He would definitely take a role in helping the voices manage their own urges in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone, knowing how he empathises with Den despite everything she has done to them.

He shines the most when he is paired with Oppy regarding this. Oppy embraces his own nature, and often times to his own detriment. Hunted wouldn’t trust him, but he would still protect and look after him anyway since he is still a part of the flock. If Oppy ever shows an ounce of genuine interest in fighting against his urge to betray people for his own benefit, Hunted would be one of the first ones to help and encourage him.

“Does a cat lie to a cornered mouse just to play with its freedom, or is it acting out its own nature?”

Nature vs Nurture baby!!!!

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

Butcher Vanity, specifically him in Den where he goes completely feral

And also Kaibutsu/怪物. It can be a shared song between Hunted and Oppy, but mostly Hunted.

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

(I love it when I just draw him like a fu@king creature)

(He’s so derpy-looking here)

[scarycranegame]

i have GOT to draw more of that fat man

[blueskittlesart]

If you haven't already would you mind expanding on what different features you think each link has and why? I loved seeing you incorporate different body types and was curious about your thought process!

this is very quick and also just the 3d ones but yeah :)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i didnt plan to spend my sunday this way

[werew0lfhours]

Ok, I'm in this screenshot, and I feel the need to explain the actual situation.

Now, this was when Courtney was really crashing out about Ant donating two dollars to Lily when she basically wished death on him. Objectively, that's funny as fuck, but Court is a heavily traumatized woman who is now more present on the internet and had possibly begun to relapse. She had a bit of a crashout, and said some very harsh things towards Ant.

I use the discord as a place to yap. Most people in there know me as the "yaoi" guy. I treat the discord as a place where I'm with like-minded people. I hang in the "Lily thunderdome" because General can be a bit much for me lmao.

I had gotten on when Shrimp (That's what we'll call them) posted the screenshot of the comment. Immediately, I was disgusted and thought something was up. With the "0 seconds ago", I immediately asked them if they sent the comment. Multiple times. Until I got an answer.

When they responded in that last screenshot that they did, I very firmly told them that was unacceptable and tried to get everyone to focus on telling Shrimp to *log off*. Once Shrimp was gone, everyone, and I mean *everyone* all agreed that what they had said was disgusting and way too far. When Shimp later entered the chat with a clear mind, they understood what they did was wrong, sent Courtney an apology, and apologized in multiple ways.

How Shrimp has responded when this is brought up again leaves a lot to be desired, but I do not know this person irl. If this was someone I knew in real life, I would probably be more harsh towards them to try and help them grow past this experience.

We are not perfect people, but from what I see in this *one* discord I'm in, we all know when to check an internet stranger.

I'm checking you, Stardust. You're not helping anyone. This really seems like you have a vendetta against one person. That isn't healthy. Take the advice I gave to Shrimpy; Log off and take a lap.

The goalposts would move because Lily isn't wrong that they really just want her to kill herself. And as Sai and Ant have repeatedly proven, they want to make some money before she does.

I've said before that short of dying, there's nothing Lily could do to appease the mases. For many it's not really about bringing her to justice or losing her YouTube channel. They just need people to farm content from or someone that is acceptable to laugh at and Lily is a good lolcow.

I can't say for sure if people want her to kill herself, but I can't imagine too many being sorry that it happened.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I strongly agree that there are world events that deserve much more news coverage and resources than the Titan because frankly it should’ve been immediately assumed they were dead when sonar couldn’t find them and communication was lost.

However, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair to compare the EU coast guard and the US and Canada's various first response teams that responded to the Titan. Because they’re separate entities.

Do I think people should care more about the refugee ship that capsized due to alleged incompetence of the coast guard? Yes. I do. And I hope more survivors can be found because that was a genuine tragedy.

Do I think that it should be getting the same kind of attention as the Titan? Not really. Because people are just memeing on the Titan, and the average tumblr user has around $0.20 to their name and maybe 400 followers so this isn’t a very good platform for getting meaningful help for those affected by that situation.

This isn’t even a “you can care about two things at once” situation, because again with the Titan you should be very amused by 4/5 of those deaths whereas there’s nothing funny about what happened to that fishing ship. These are very different niches in cultural awareness and your ire should be towards media companies over random people on social media.

[lu-polls]

wait op 👀 can i ask who your favorite boy is? 👀👀 (sorry im too shy to reply to the post and im curious now because of your tags)

4️⃣

[deus-ex-mona]

(in no particular order) things that happened in/related to hw before kimikawaii mv: ✨a thread✨

lxl marriage

lxl divorce + remarriage

mona 2nd album announcement and release

renren name reveal

concon name + face reveal

chuutan solo of her maid cafe song

expanded chizuru backstory reveal in her manga

koichiro’s first solo being leaked on ig a week early

koichiro’s first mv

yujiro’s first solo as ‘someya yujiro’ (instead of ‘yujiro from lxl’)

hw card game announcement and release

release of minori’s full another vocal for teammate (totally counts ok guys)

mona nuis

new narumi sisters duet

holohani collab

hw major album compilation set announcement and preorders

mochizuki daughter character song

lxl went on their second honeymoon

mona oneman live main visual reveal

brand new lxl song

lxl became vampires together

the cover of the single and the cv version itself was leaked weeks in advance

[skrunksthatwunk]

just finished s2 of kaiji and it was good i really liked it but i hope i never see that fuckass pachinko machine again!!!

[upsidedowngrass]

erm... so this is awkward

[loverboybrightsideghost]

"reblog for something lgbt to happen to you" at this point i'd be grateful if something straight happened to me

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Ahskakskal okay so it was still not a date but it fucking felt like it was To Me lmao like it was a family type of event and not a couples only thing but there were still a lot of couples there so there was that. I don't wanna say what the event was bc I don't wanna accidentally dox myself but it was at a park and we had to drive like two hours just to get there ahdkakska but like how am I supposed to be normal when he's holding my hand so we don't get separated in the crowd while we're walking around and we're sitting next to each other on a tiny ass blanket 😭 and I half jokingly made the comment that it didn't seem like his type of scene and he said it's not but he thought I'd like it??? So then I said I know of other events that are closer that might be more his speed and said I'd bring him to one of the ones I know of next year and he said it's a date and literally without an ounce of critical thinking my dumb ass blurted out "well I should hope you wouldn't make me wait that long for a date" and I almost fucking died and I had to awkwardly laugh it off like it was a joke but then he said "maybe I won't" like?????? Fucking hello?????? So idk if that was a joke and we were just like messing around bc we never elaborated or circled back to it but bro I'm still feeling things about that lmao like goddamn. But anyway we went to get food once we left like we always do and then he took me home so now I just get to sit here and think my thoughts until I see him again ahdkalsl

[dropthecop]

why did my boromir post get notes i'm scared

[saviourkingslut]

no but watching napoleon with a bunch of historians and my principal supervisor was there and they were like what did you think about the movie and i said i had my eyes closed for parts of it bc it was so boring and they were like 'what!' and i had to backtrack like a madman vs my daily supervisor being thoroughly unimpressed by the movie like i was and spending 10 mins with me talking shit about it