#of all of the characters listed… Elyan is the most likely to accept magic (if you pay attention to canon that is)

[sneakyboymerlin]

Sorry but if you write a magic reveal fic and

Arthur accepts Merlin’s magic with no fuss

Gwaine accepts Merlin’s magic with no fuss

Percival accepts Merlin’s magic with no fuss

Elyan is vilified because he hates magic so much and he’s just not good enough to overlook his bias, unlike Arthur and the other knights (most of whom explicitly hate magic)

Leon accepts Merlin’s magic with no fuss

Then you probably have a racism problem.

[dragonsandwolvesohmy]

Animal counterparts- Merlin

Okay, I needed somewhere to put all this research and these feelings. Please keep in mind it's been a while since I watched the series, and got out of headcanons and fanfiction. And I'm very late to the fandom (I only joined like three years ago.) so don't shoot me. (or should I say burn me? Bad joke? bad joke.)

These boys are giving me much trouble picking a singular animal to represent them. I mean- look at this breakdown; (and not my mental breakdown.) -keep in mind some attributes don't apply to characters, but I'm listing them anyways-

Merlin: Badger (tenacity, cleverness, security, friendship, and gratitude. Fighting spirit- a badger would rather die than give up. Focus. Eager. Strategy. Tenacity. Defense. Protection. Confidence. Strong will. Independence. Determination)

or a Horse (strength, power, resiliency. Stamina, wisdom, freedom, wildness, intellect, and loyalty. adventurous, mobility, independence, friendship, and endurance.)

or a Wolf (Sharp intelligence, self-reliance, and an appetite for freedom. Perseverance, stability, intuition, loyalty, and success.)

or a Dog (Loyalty, bravery, friends, affection, protection, communication, patience, and devotion. Vigilant, faithful, and wise.)

or a Cheetah (Quick thinking, passion, flexibility, quick-witted, freedom, progress, and protection.)

Of course, a Dragon (Transformation, defensive, motivational, authoritative, magical, and strength.) would be an obvious one as Merlin's a dragonlord. There's others, but these are the ones that stand out the most to me.

Arthur: A Lion (Pride, courage, power, natural-born leaders, authority, dignity, wisdom, and fiery.)

A Hawk (Vision, alertness, nobility, cleansing, goal-oriented, strength, creativity, and courage)

A Falcon (Goal-oriented, fearless, authoritative, freedom, intelligence and victory.)

A Cougar (patience, observation, sensuality, courage, responsible, dependable, and spiritual warrior.)

Elephant (Strength, loyalty, determination, confidence, honor, pride, dignity, and royalty.)

Leon: A Dog fits him nicely, I feel, but here are some others I considered. An Elephant, a Wolf,

Ant (Diligence, unity, patience, self-control, sacrifice, loyalty and honesty.)

Goose (Joy, bravery, guidance, fertility, loyalty, reliability, teamwork, vigilance, and wisdom.)

Ox (Sacrifice, monogamy, grounded, longevity, strength and loyalty.)

-please note that most of these have loyalty attached to them and that's because I feel his loyalty is his core as a character. Feel free to disagree-

Reindeer (Accomplishment, abundance, endurance, strength, faith, tenacity and protection.)

Lancelot: Dog, Wolf, Ant, Cougar, Horse, Reindeer. But also

Koala (Gratitude, healing, calmness, trust, empathy, magic, protection and pleasure.)

Jellyfish (Faith, transparency, illumination, acceptance, sensitivity, protection and intention)

Penguin (Community-minded, grace, discipline, confidence, sacrifice, spiritual and determination.)

and my personal favorite and headcanon, a Hedgehog (Protection, flexibility, patience, kindness, strength and self-dependent.)

Percival: I think of Elephants when I think of Percival, personally- they're big and strong, yes, but they're also very gentle, community animals, and their quiet dignity fits his quiet character, from what I remember. But as Elephants have different symbolic meanings, I looked at others. Dog

A Bear seems obvious (Power, Bravery, understanding, peace, aggressive, authority, solitude and majesty.)

Orangatang (Creativity, gentle, solitude, ingenuity, honorable and logical.)

Camel (Endurance, trust, commitment, determination, focus, humility, patience, and durability.)

Rhino (Intelligence- I see this in his playful side, teasing Elyan and stealing chicken and all- isolated, decisive, endurance, liberated and insightful.)

Elyan: Elyan gave me the least trouble. While he shares a good deal of traits with the others, making animals like Dog, Wolf and Horse fitting, I see him as a Snake. (Impulsive, power, shrewdness, transformation, magic, fear, wisdom and healing.) There's also these, though.

Anaconda (Balance, immortality, patience, power, wisdom, cunning, and elusiveness) yes it's a type of snake, but a little different meaning.

Eagle (Goal-oriented, focused, adventurous, resilient, vision, power and freedom.)

Otter (Lively, cheerful, kindness, sensibility, dynamic and happiness) I see this one especially with the ghost of the druid boy, as well as

Monkey (Bold, confident, social, compassionate, playful, aggressive, creative and rebellious.)

Gwaine: Here we go, Gwaine gives me complex feels when it comes to picking an animal, much like Lancelot. I can see Dog, Wolf, Monkey, Otter, Cheetah, Camel, Reindeer but also

Bull (Fertility, expressive, strength, courage, procurement and hasty)

Jaguar (Power, loyalty, speed, strength, grace, knowledge, fertility and rejuvenation)

Rat (Kindness, fertility, foresight, intelligence, abundance, strength, success, and stealth.)

Squirrel (Playful, social, balance, passionate, trust, hardworking, and resourcefulness)

But I personally see Gwaine as a Fox (Quick-witted, wisdom, luck, cleverness, curiosity, cunning, adaptability, and playfulness.)

There's a lot of overlap between animals suited for characters, as well as personality aspects shared between them. A birds of a feather situation, perhaps? I don't know, but it's interesting they can all share some possible animals despite being such different people. Feel free to argue, agree, or put forth your own ideas, this was just me spitballing ideas at 3 am for reasons I no longer remember. Plus I'm relatively new to the fandom, and don't know the characters too well yet.

[fishoutofcamelot]

IT’S OFFICIAL! I’M MAKING A MERLIN-THEMED D&D CAMPAIGN!!! <3

Do you like Merlin? Do you like D&D? Do you like the idea of D&D but don’t know how it works? Then The Rising Sun campaign is just for you! (named after that one tavern in Camelot lmao)

CAMPAIGN PREMISE:

Jailbreak! The members of your party have been locked away in Camelot’s dungeons and must work together to bust out. But with a mysterious curse terrorizing the city, that might be easier said than done. Takes place during the three-year gap between seasons 4 and 5.

BASIC INFORMATION:

4-6 players, all at LVL3

Is this your first game? Your 50th game? All experience levels accepted!

Will feature monsters/characters/settings present in BBCM canon

The session will be recorded and posted to Youtube, so even people who don’t play can still join in on the fun!

Wanna chat about Merlin? (And D&D, but mostly Merlin) Join the Rising Sun Discord Server!!!

It’s a oneshot campaign, meaning there will only be one session

Submit your character sheet/s to me (email under the cut) by November 15th!

The exact length of the session will depend on player availability/preference, and how long it takes us to get through the campaign. But expect it to take around 2-4 hours

You can play as a canon character (like Mithian or Percival), or make an OC 

We will be running this through D&D5e (5th edition) as this is what I’m most familiar with. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry about it!

Players must have access to Discord. Announcements, party talk, scheduling, etc. will be held on an exclusive channel through the Rising Sun Discord Server

WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITHOUT PLAYING?

Don’t worry, we’ve got something for everyone! I want this to be something everyone in the fandom can enjoy :)

The campaign will be recorded virtually and posted to Youtube in 30-minute parts/episodes, with captions available

Transcripts will also be posted to AO3

Join the Rising Sun Discord Server!

Don’t have a Discord account? Information about the campaign will also be posted to the Rising Sun Campaign tag on Tumblr

Feeling artsy? Feel free to post it! Any campaign-related art sent to me (through Discord, Tumblr, or Gmail) will likely be posted to my Tumblr blog and also feature in one of the episodes uploaded to Youtube, provided you give me permission to do so <3

Interested? More details under the cut! 

PROJECTED TIMELINE

November 1: Player Submission period opens

November 15: Player Submission period ends

November 20: Official player + character list announced

December 18-January 18: Campaign session held. The exact date/time will depend on the availability of party members, but this is just the time period in which it’s most likely to happen (it’s my winter break!)

January/February: Campaign “episodes” will be uploaded to Youtube on a weekly basis, with their respective transcripts posted to AO3. Official release schedule to be posted after the campaign has been recorded

SUBMISSION REQUIREMENTS

Submit to my email: ragicmobot@gmail.com

If you don’t know a lot about D&D and want me to teach you/help you make your character sheet, let me know through Tumblr! 

Submissions should include your: 

Tumblr URL and/or Discord ID

Time zone

Expected availability between Dec18-Jan18

Experience/comfort level with D&D

If you are willing to have your face shown in the recording

Character sheet/s

Any homebrew content you would like to use

You can submit more than one character sheet, but you can only play as one character, and only one character will be accepted into the campaign

If we get more than 6 submissions, players will be chosen based on their availability, friendliness, and how well I think their character will fit into the campaign/party

If you’re accepted as a player, I will let you know via Tumblr/Discord before posting the official player list to Tumblr. You will also be granted access to the Party-Only channel on the Rising Sun Discord server

You MUST be a member of this server, as crucial party discussions, announcements, and Zoom links will be shared there

Make sure to have everything submitted by November 15th!

GUIDELINES

My time zone is PST. Expect this to influence scheduling

If you aren’t comfortable having your face in the recording, you can turn your camera off! However, I will ask that you at least keep your mic on

The session will be held and recorded through Zoom. Make sure you have access to this program! 

Due to Zoom restrictions, a Zoom meeting can’t be any longer than 45 minutes. So the session will probably be broken up into 30-minute meetings, with 5-minute breaks in between each one. The Zoom link/s will be posted to the Party-only channel on the Rising Sun server. If I find a more efficient way of doing this, I will let you know

There will be a session zero, also on Zoom, about a week before we record the session. This is just a quick and casual opportunity for us to meet, work out any technical issues, address campaign expectations, talk about our characters, and get to know each other better <3

General courtesy and Zoom/D&D etiquettes apply. Don’t be a dick!

I might end up commissioning/having art done of the Player Characters (PCs). If you’re not okay with that, let me know!

CHARACTER CREATION

Put your character at LVL 3

Homebrew content is allowed, so long as you have me look it over first!

Use the D&D5e character sheet for character creation (if you need help accessing this I can send you an editable pdf, or help you find an online character sheet creator)

CANON CHARACTERS

Make sure all information on your character sheet is accurate to canon. Any deviations from canon (like giving Elyan magic, or making Percival a time-traveler) must be talked over with me first

Does their canon background have holes or unknowns? Fill them in yourself! Get creative <3

If this character doesn’t have a race available in D&D, like a sidhe, then you have two options. You can either homebrew their profile, or you can using an existing race profile that’s similar while clearly establishing what their real race is

When writing their backstory, try to think of how they would fit into the campaign. Why are they in the dungeons? Is Merlin suffering the aftermath of a magic reveal gone wrong? Did Gwaine get into a tavern brawl? Has George been framed for murder?

OCs

Be creative! Time travelers, shapeshifters, orcs - as long as you develop it well enough, I’ll probably allow it

If your character has a race/species that doesn’t exist in BBCM canon - like an elf or a dwarf - then provide backstory as to why their people are never seen or mentioned in the show. Did the dwarves go into hiding during the Purge? Is your character the first of their kind? Were they cursed into a non-human form?

In the event that we get someone to do art for the PCs, please make sure the physical description of your character is very clear and concise. Consider including reference art of some kind as well. This will hopefully make it easier for the artist/s to do their thing

When writing their backstory, try to think of how they would fit into the campaign. Why are they in the dungeons? Did they get caught trying to kill the king? Did their friend turn them in for sorcery? Did they steal something from the vaults?

This should be a chance for us all to goof off and have fun, so I’m not gonna be super strict on the rules. And if you have any questions, hit me up on Tumblr!! <3

[panharmonium]

I would like to add Gwaine to the list of friends Merlin had. Especially in the 3/4 seasons he really was ride or die for Merlin, they shared intimate details with each other, they truly trusted each other. There were instances where the show alluded that Gwaine knows about Merlin's magic and is fine with it.

hi there!  i’m assuming this is in response to the post i reblogged about will and lancelot being merlin’s only “real” friends?  

i’m actually happy to write about this, now that the question has been posed - it’s been a while since i wrote anything long about gwaine!

fair warning in advance: i don’t personally classify gwaine the same way i do will and lancelot, and that’s what this piece will cover in more detail, but these are just my own thoughts, and it is totally cool for everybody else to have different opinions.  my take is my take, but it does not have to be everyone’s take - if people wanna scroll past because this isn’t their vibe, i don’t mind in the slightest. :)

so, without further ado - i LOVE gwaine, and i have written extensively about how amazing his relationship with merlin is (some examples here, here, here, and here, if anybody’s looking).  he is the most likely of all merlin’s living friends to ditch arthur in the name of addressing merlin’s needs, which is super important, and he also has a much healthier friendship with merlin than arthur does (in my own personal opinion, of course, which nobody is obligated to share).  he definitely does go ride or die for merlin in S3/S4, i agree.

but my own thoughts on this particular point are still the same as they were in that original post.  i tend to hide my clarifications/explanations in the tags, so they might have flown by, but i’ll just copy/paste the relevant bit here for ease of access, as some background for the rest of this post.

re: will and lancelot were merlin’s only ‘real’ friends:

#what this does not mean: merlin has no other friends!  merlin doesn't have meaningful and important relationships with other people!   #what it does mean:  #every single one of merlin's other relationships is undergirded by the sickening knowledge that those friendships are conditional   #every single one of his other relationships is accompanied by the constant undercurrent of 'they would hate me if they knew'   #merlin knows his friends 'care' about him   #except they don't really; because it's not truly him they're caring about   #they care deeply - about someone merlin made up   #about a facade.   #in the most basic sense   #those relationships aren't Real   #the love merlin feels for the people in them is real   #but you cannot truly be 'friends' with somebody who doesn't even know who you are   #you cannot be loved without being known   #you certainly cannot be loved without being safe

obviously i suppose a person’s thoughts on this would be different if they headcanoned that gwaine knew about merlin’s magic, and that’s fine.  i personally do not believe canon indicates or supports that, but i’m not out to convince people to abandon their own fanon interpretations of things; i’m happy just hanging out in my own space talking about my thoughts.  me writing meta is the virtual equivalent of me talking to myself in my room - if other people have different conversations with themselves, that’s fine :)  i don’t mind if other folks organize their thoughts about things differently.  

in accordance with that - everybody please feel free to continue on with your own interpretations, and ignore mine if mine do not appeal to you!  if people are interested about how i organize my ideas on this, though, they are essentially as follows:

1) a cage fighter, a class traitor, and a fake sorcerer walk into a tavern

ok, to start with - here’s a graph.

(...who tf starts a meta post with ‘here’s a graph’ lol i just drew a venn diagram for the first time since like...middle school...i LOVE fandom, man, this is RIDICULOUS)

anyway

this is a very rough interpretation of how i think about gwaine, lancelot, and will:

to address some of these elements individually:

lancelot and will give merlin something that gwaine can’t - safety, authenticity, the comfort of being known and seen for real, a respite from constantly qualifying every friendship with ‘they would hate me if they knew’

lancelot and gwaine, likewise, give merlin something merlin wouldn’t be as likely to get from will (if will were still alive, i mean) - an understanding of merlin’s devotion to the Crown, a supportive ally in the fight to promote arthur’s reign and keep arthur/camelot safe

will and gwaine, for their part, are more likely to tell arthur to go fuck himself, if it’s important for helping merlin, and that’s a different kind of support that merlin also really needs.

and will, on his own, gives merlin something that neither lancelot NOR gwaine can provide, which is a friend who isn’t connected to or even particularly interested in arthur pendragon (merlin has nobody in his life like this, not after will dies) - somebody who knew and cared about merlin before merlin had any proximity to arthur, before this whole ’destiny’ issue reared its merciless head.

everybody in merlin’s life matters to him and gives him something important.  gwaine is STUPIDLY important to merlin.  the love there is real.  but in canon, because gwaine is not in the know, gwaine is still one of the people from whom merlin feels compelled to hide himself.  gwaine is right up there alongside gwen, arthur, elyan, percival, etc - every other person who merlin loves, who merlin nonetheless constantly, back-of-his-mind fears, ‘they would reject me if they knew.’

the above is part of why i personally have never been too interested in ‘so-and-so knows about merlin’s magic’ canon-imaginings.  there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them, and i’m sure people must have tons of fun with them - and in an AU context maybe i would have fun with them too - but as hopeful interpretations of actual canon, they don’t appeal to me.  merlin’s near-total isolation and desperate, constantly-frustrated desire for real, honest love is an inalienable aspect of his character for me, one i can’t separate from who he is and why he does the things he does and why he eventually ends up in the place where we find him towards the end of the show.  

2) i just want someone to see me for who i am

i have seen a bit of sentiment out there along the lines of ‘merlin should have told (x person) about their magic’ or ‘(x person) obviously doesn’t have a problem with sorcerers,’ but i guess i personally don’t think it’s as clear as all that, and i think me saying it is would be doing merlin a disservice.

merlin’s desire to be seen/known/accepted is literally the most base urge he has.  if he truly thought he could tell somebody safely, he would.

i think merlin knows the people in his orbit well enough to know how they feel about sorcery, at least in a general sense.  and even if they aren’t bloodthirsty bigots like uther, they aren’t exactly welcoming magic with open arms, either.  at the most basic, elementary level, merlin understands something that we don’t like to think about: none of his friends ever challenge arthur on the sorcery ban or express any dissatisfaction with the political status quo, and, even absent outright bigotry, this fact speaks loudly enough in and of itself.  merlin’s friends might not be out clamoring for sorcerers’ blood, but they aren’t criticizing a society that criminalizes sorcery, either, and they are never shown to have a problem with the way things are, even though the way things are is wrong.

The Way Things Are is, in fact, unjust.  it’s oppressive.  and allowing that state of affairs to continue, unquestioned and unchallenged, when you have access to the king’s ear and aren’t personally in danger of being persecuted, indicates that you’re okay with the injustice.  that you’re comfortable with the oppression.  that you don’t see a problem with the status quo, and that you're unbothered enough by it to let it be.

it doesn’t matter that merlin’s friends have never straight-up said ‘boy, magic sure is evil’ onscreen.  they never say that camelot’s policies are wrong, and that delivers a clear enough message on its own.

3) it is not a crime to fight for your freedom

to bring this back to gwaine specifically, since that was originally the focus of this ask -

for me, for all that i adore gwaine, and for all that i think he was, for the most part, an INCREDIBLY sound, healthy relationship for merlin, the truth is that gwaine is as much a part of this problem as everyone else.  does that mean i personally think gwaine would have summarily dumped merlin if he’d found out merlin had magic?  no.  but i don’t think it’s as uncomplicated as maybe we wish it might be, and i think merlin has every right to be as uncertain of gwaine on this issue as he does of everyone else.

for one thing, like i said before, even gwaine, who used to have fewer qualms than any of the knights about pushing back on arthur’s BS, has never said a word about camelot’s injustices, or ever acknowledged that the laws of the land are unjust to begin with.  

for another, there are specific moments that kind of make you wonder.

5.05 (’the disir’) is a good example of this - when gwaine finds osgar in the woods, the two of them have this exchange:

you are a sorcerer, a heretic, and a murderer.  

the rhetoric of this sentence frames all three of these things as equivalent entities - criminal ones.  

to pick this apart more carefully:

a) sorcerer

it’s worth noting here that we’re never told osgar has done anything worse than evading arrest for the crime of being a known sorcerer.  when leon mentions him in the council meeting, the conversation consists solely of the following:

“as you know, a few days ago our garrison in the forest of breckfire intercepted the man who goes by the name of osgar.”

“the sorcerer.”

“the same.  they were trying to apprehend him when he used his powers to escape.”

and…that’s it.  osgar’s crime, as far as we know, was simply being a sorcerer (and then, after that, attempting to escape an unjust arrest, thereby killing a knight in the process).  there’s no mention of any other activities that would have warranted his arrest in the first place, other than the possession of magic.

but magic, even on its own, IS a crime in camelot - and gwaine levels the accusation at osgar as such.

b) heretic

that’s a hell of a word to throw around, if you think sorcery is chill.

“heretic” isn’t a mild accusation.  "heretic” has vitriolic severity behind it.  people are accused of heresy when they’re perceived to be in brazen defiance of what is (in the eyes of the accuser) unquestionably right and correct.  “heretic” is like…it’s like blasphemer.  the connotation is not just that something is bad, but that it’s sinful.

for gwaine, either osgar’s association with sorcery and/or his defiance of camelot’s army makes him a heretic.  and that’s not something a person who is down with sorcery or supportive of a magic-user’s struggle for freedom would say.

c) murderer

if gwaine were cool with sorcery, we would expect him to understand that a sorcerer who resisted arrest for the crime of being a sorcerer isn’t a murderer.  

it’s like kara said in 5.11 - it is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.

camelot has been killing sorcerers for decades.  osgar mortally wounded a soldier (not an innocent civilian, i might note) who was trying to imprison him.  he was resisting the armed forces of an oppressive state.  that’s not murder.

somebody who understands that camelot is an oppressive regime wouldn’t think of this as murder.  they would understand that it is not a crime to protect your own life when the state has literally been trying to exterminate your people for years.  and even if osgar had been engaged in rebellious activities against the state (which as far as we know is not the case - nothing like this is ever referenced!), they would understand that people with magic have long been overdue for a righteous uprising.  

but gwaine is a little more like arthur, in this moment - he sees the “wrong” that osgar has done (in the form of sir ranulf’s death) without seeing the thousands upon thousands of wrongs that camelot visited upon the magical community first.

4) you can’t go armed into a sacred place

the rest of this episode is similar.  gwaine pays just as little heed to merlin’s warnings as the rest of the knights, when merlin admonishes them that the disir’s cave is sacred.  gwaine doesn’t relinquish his sword or take special care upon entering the cave.  in fact, he is the one who outright interrupts the disir while they’re speaking - as they’re telling arthur a series of hard truths, that he’s persecuted magic-users, “even unto slaughter;” that he’s desecrated their space: “you come here, to the most sacred of the sacred, to the very heart of the Old Religion, with weapons drawn - trampling hallowed relics - treating our sacred space like you do your kingdom - with arrogance - with conceit - with insolence - ”

and gwaine cuts them off, pushing to the front of the group and shouting at them “enough!  you speak of the king!”  and that’s when the fight starts, when mordred gets stabbed.

someone who was fully accepting of magic, or who knew anything about it at all, would not have behaved this way.  they would not have bristled at hearing how arthur’s regime unfairly persecutes the magical community.  they would have known that it was true.

5) i just want to be myself

the above is just one example, but it’s a clear enough one to illustrate what i mean.  gwaine IS an amazing friend to merlin.  he does treat merlin well.  and merlin loves him to death.  but gwaine is NOT totally chill with magic.  i’m not saying he actively hates it, but he is not, from what merlin has witnessed, entirely safe.  merlin loves him, but he can’t be himself around him.

and i do think that pains merlin terribly.  all these people who he loves so much, and every time he’s with them there’s always that whisper: ‘this is a charade.  all the love in my life is a lie.  they only like me because they don’t know me.  if they knew who i really was, this would be over.’  

and we wonder why he never tells anyone.  we tell him he ‘should’ have told gwaine, gwen, morgana, arthur, like it would have been easy, or even possible, for him to ever consider putting himself in a position where he could lose what precarious, partially make-believe connections he has.

merlin, in the later seasons, when he worries about his magic being exposed, isn’t afraid of being executed.  he’s afraid of becoming even more alone than he is now.  and he has good reason to feel that way - even people who appear to put him first aren’t fully on board with the thing that makes him who he is.  and merlin knows this.  he’s seen it.  none of his friends are out fighting for people like him at court.  some of his friends shake their heads and assure arthur “you are a good and just king” when arthur expresses concern that maybe the disir are right, maybe he has indeed transgressed.  some of merlin’s friends used to buck the system in defense of the powerless, but now they defend the regime even when the accusations levelled against it by an oppressed population are true.

merlin knows that revealing himself is a kind of risk that could very plausibly end with him utterly disowned.  every single friendship he has is subject to this justified fear, this bitter knowledge.  merlin has every reason to doubt the soundness of his relationships.

and, circling back to the thing that started all these musings - the only friends who never made him feel that way were will and lancelot.

that’s all i mean when i say that will and lancelot were merlin’s only “real” friends.  i wish there were a better word to use than that, because i really don’t mean it like…as if merlin’s relationships with other people weren’t…valid, or important, or based on true love and care.  they were.  but there’s just not a better way to express that will and lancelot were the only people who ever even knew who they were friends with, who saw merlin for exactly who he was and said “i love you still.”  they were the only ones whose friendship was something merlin didn’t have to be afraid of losing solely for existing.

i always think of morgana’s line in 2.11 - ‘i don’t want to be brave.  i just want to be myself. i don’t want to be alone anymore.’

around everyone else, merlin has to be brave.  he has to keep up the pretense, which means even when he’s surrounded by friends, he’s completely isolated.

with will and lancelot, though, he could be himself.  with will and lancelot, he wasn’t alone.

6) post-script

i really appreciate being given the opportunity to muse to myself about this in more detail - i actually needed to think through some things regarding gwaine anyway, for writing purposes, and this was actually really helpful in organizing my brain.  so thanks, anon, for the prompt!  

i know my answer probably runs counter to your own interpretation of things, but as i said, this is just my own personal outlook.  i typed it up because the message got me thinking, and because i know i have a couple of friends who might find it interesting, but my thoughts apply only to me, and i do not mind at all if folks think about these things differently!  nobody is obligated to agree with anything i write, or give it any further thought, or even read it at all - we’re all going to engage with this story in different ways, so if anybody finds that this isn’t their cup of tea, please feel free to scroll on by, and keep having fun with this show in whatever way makes you happiest! :)

[panharmonium]

some meandering bbc merlin thoughts that got too long for tags on this gifset.

normal disclaimers apply, which, given that i’m evaluating media, means that these are just my own thoughts and nobody else need agree with them; i don’t expect all of us to have the exact same impressions of tv shows. :) 

now, without further ado:

i started to type a novel in the tags of that gifset, but it got too long, so i’m moving it over to an actual post.  and what i wanted to say there is this: my thing about arthur isn’t that his story was badly written.  it’s that it was incomplete.

it’s probably more common for folks to assign responsibility to the writing, and that’s totally fine; i definitely get it - there are places in this show where i think things could have been handled better as well.  (i did write sixteen pages about how poorly executed the finale was, after all.)  but for my own part, i personally don’t think most of the story was badly written.  i think it was unfinished.

and what i mean by that is that i sincerely think that almost everything bbc merlin did could have been pulled together in a meaningful way after 5.11, and that if this had happened, then we would be evaluating the previous seasons differently, because things that seemed to not fit or be nonsensical or not be given enough attention would have been pursued all the way through to their natural conclusions.  

i’m not sure if it’s because i watched the show so late, or because i watched it in a spoiler-phobic bubble isolated from fandom input, but my own assessment of this show seems to exist in kind of a weird limbo-place on the spectrum of fandom opinions, because i don’t like how it ended, but i also don’t dislike the writing, up to the point of the finale.  are there things that could have been improved, or quibbles i have?  definitely.  i can list them for you.  but overall?  i still believed in the story at the 5.11 mark.  there were things i sometimes thought ‘oh, i’m not sure about this,’ but i always gave the show the benefit of the doubt, because i truly did feel that things were going somewhere.  anything the show did that gave me pause wasn’t something that couldn’t eventually have been made meaningful, if the show had actually...been finished.* 

(*elyan’s death excepted.  that’s one of the things on my list, and i think it might be the only thing besides the finale that doesn’t fall under the criteria i’ll discuss below.  it was a bad decision, flat-out, and could not have been improved by finishing the story.)

so for example, morgana.  if i were going to critique her development, yeah, i’d say that we don’t get enough of her internal conflict; she goes from the voice of moral authority to (apparently) delighting in wickedness very quickly, offscreen, and the constant smirking doesn’t show us what we know must be true - that she hasn’t become like this because she enjoys it; that she is wounded and her rage at arthur, gwen, merlin et al comes from a very real place of pain.  

but, as i said above - even though her development was something i recognized as questionable while i was watching, it didn’t make me too nervous, because i really trusted that the story was eventually and slowly taking us to the place it needed to go.  you could see her conflict, sometimes, in her confrontations with arthur, and that conflict finally took center stage in 5.09, when mordred confronted her and appealed to her humanity.  they were getting there.

and evaluating her development solely from what we ended up getting, i agree: now the writing just looks Bad.  but it wouldn’t have been bad, if it had been finished.  i would have completely believed morgana closing herself off from regret/sadness/compassion/any feelings at all for her former friends; it would have been okay for her to be so smirky, cold, etc; because it wouldn’t have been the endpoint for her arc, but rather a front to protect herself from the true conflict she felt.  we would have gotten more than that.  the story would have taken her farther than that.  but the story was incomplete, and so everything that came before it just looks like a mess that ran off a cliff.

this is how i feel about almost all of the “questionable” writing things on this show.  it’s not that they were ‘bad’ decisions in and of themselves, but they look that way in the rearview mirror because they never had the chance to develop into what they were supposed to be. 

take arthur, for another example.  i honestly don’t have a problem with his arc in S4 and S5.  i completely believe what a horrible and unadmirable mess he is for most of S4.  i believe that he would absolutely revert to thinking about “what would my father do” as soon as the realities of kingship are thrust upon him.  and i love how in S5 he’s moved past that and IS admirable in so many other ways, but then we start once again addressing the central conflict, which is that he’s still oppressing part of his population, and he starts to hit roadblocks again.  5.05 and 5.11 are the crisis points there, and honestly, i didn’t have a problem with how they unfolded (i mean, i did, but not in the sense of ‘this is bad writing and i hate it.’  rather in the sense of ‘this is fucking painful but i believe it’).  

the problem for me was never that it took arthur too long to accept magic or that he backslid or anything like that, because quite frankly i found all of that to be believable, given the circumstances.  the problem was that the show ended before he was ever allowed to progress past that.  he never atoned for anything he did.  he, like morgana, was never allowed to go where he was meant to go, because the show stopped before it was over.  if he had, all of his previous missteps wouldn’t have felt so much like ‘bad writing,’ they would have just been natural steps on his long journey.

same thing goes for gwen.  do i have a problem with her being sidelined towards the end of the show?  abso-fucking-LUTELY.  that’s on my list.  did her relationship with morgana deserve a resolution?  YES.  but it still could have happened!  if there had been more time, the show could have dealt with that.  gwen’s enchantment by morgana could have meant something, could have prompted something bigger; gwen could have taken the reins and started pushing arthur, who has entrenched himself into old ways, to start thinking from a place of compassion, even though it’s risky and it scares her.  or she could have broken with arthur’s decisions completely and made a move of her own.  if they had been given the time, nothing that happened to gwen prior to 5.11 precluded her character from going somewhere important.

and merlin - merlin could have gotten what he deserved, which is a resolution to the question he’s been struggling with since literally day one: how do i justify serving a regime that oppresses me?  how do i reconcile my responsibility to my people (and MYSELF) with an externally-imposed responsibility to protect arthur?  

merlin never settles on an answer to that question.  or rather, the answer he’s given is that he doesn’t need to be conflicted in the first place; protecting arthur was the right thing to do (even though it ultimately achieves nothing).

merlin deserved to have a chance to work out the answer to that question for himself, rather than having his core dilemma wiped aside.  and, much like my opinion on everyone else’s arcs, i don’t think the writing on this show ever took merlin to a place where this problem couldn’t be addressed.  i don’t find merlin’s arc questionable; i am fully convinced by the hole he’s dug for himself by 5.11.  merlin’s descent into single-minded preservation of arthur’s life at the expense of his own welfare/moral compass is absolutely tragic, yet also absolutely believable, to me - merlin’s been told all along that saving arthur is the only way to save his people, and now he’s been presented with so much evidence to the contrary - and yet he doesn’t want to admit that it’s all been for nothing - it’s honestly…i honestly actually think it’s spectacularly crafted.  that scene with finna in 5.10 is absolutely the most devastating thing i think i’ve ever witnessed on this show - when merlin’s on the verge of passing out and he murmurs, ‘it won’t always be like this.  things will be better.’  and you can see he’s just telling himself a lie, over and over again, trying to believe.  and then when he says ‘running…from arthur?’ because he knows, he knows it’s true that arthur is the real threat, arthur is the one with the sword at all their throats, but merlin has come to care about him so much - 

truly, they hit a point there that was just - fucking amazing.  that was the moment.  that, leading into 5.11, was the axis point for merlin’s unavoidable moral crisis, and there was so much potential there and so many places for it to go, but then the show just ended.  conflicts wiped away.  no wrongs ever righted.  merlin never comes into his own.  he never finds his feet.

but he could have.

so again.  what i’m saying here is that for me, for my particular experience with this show, i actually don’t dislike the writing, up until the very finale.  i think the writing actually brought us to a place that was fairly exploding with possibility.  but then the show just stopped, and that’s why it’s so easy to find places to critique the previous seasons, because of course it all looks poorly constructed now.  it isn’t finished.