#of a panic attack every time.
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had like horrible horrible nausea and stomach pain and vomiting for 8 solid hours last night and for the first 3 of them, leaned alone against my toilet feeling like I was being Punished By God, I had the. like. the disco elysium mural text playing over and over in my head??? I Have Not Played Disco Elysium. my brain was just like [very intently] you there. boy. true love is possible / in the next world / for other people and I was like bhBlehchchh aug h howw doesdthis help .me right now
#emetophobia /#disco elysium#I GUESS?#also later when I was in A Different Bathroom almost incoherent w pain like begging 2 throw up or something to Get Rid Of It#I was convinced that if I ciuld talk to Gwenllian From The Raven Cycle I could appeal to her judgement and mercy.#because I'd just helped get her out of a cave and unbound her wrists and all that. obviously#so I ???? waited until my dad left the room and then was like#Gwenllian wait is that her name?? I think so. anyway I was like Please Help Me What Do I Do. I Just Want This To Be Over#I Rescued You From The Cave. Please. How Do I Get The Sickness Out Of Me#I believe I said this aloud btw. alone in a bathroom leaned over a plastic tub.#anyway. I forgot how I get when I'm sick and by ''how I get'' what I mean is Completely Unable To Separate Reality From Not. so that's fun#she didn’t answer btw. no one did. :/#creaking#ask to tag#emetophobia#emetophobia cw#idk man I wanna be safe. also I fucking hate throwing up it is like the worst sensation in the entire fucking world it puts me on the verge#of a panic attack every time.#so. NOT A GREAT NIGHT I WOULD SAY#ok bye back to lying on these blankets on this linoleum and praying to the tummy gods
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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TBB cadets ideas
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#star wars fanart#more to come maybe idk#Anyway#idk how fanartists manage to get their chara right I couldn't#hope they're at least recognizable#I'm too tired to clean them anyway#BTW I got my broken tooth fixed#I mean ...more like vital prognosis engaged#Dentist scolded me#deserved#It was really the meme “you live like this??” but with my mouth#anyway at least they'll have a fun story to talk about at party I guess#oh last time I got a PATIENT#WTF#like first she hadn't seen anyone since YEARS#then she went livid when I told her I had to operate#she was probably on the verge of a panic attack I had to reassure her like EVERY five minutes like a child#can you fill my glass again thanks#I mean I've got several friends working in medical I know how it is ^^;#Now my whole jaw aches#and I'm hungry ofc#ANYWAY#if you excuse me#I'm gonna roll myself in a burrito and cry
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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The Painted Lady turned around slowly, deliberately, and stared right through each ghost present in the room. Then, she raised her hands in a graceful arc, pointed loosely at the ceiling, and chanted, “Well, off you go.” She made a shoo, go away gesture, the spirits disappeared, and—wait. The spirits disappeared.
Izumi comes back in For the Spirits Chapter VI: Dream of You. Zuko has a mild panic attack and her upbeat attitude does not help him (or does it?).
Just what is she up to? And what is the meaning behind the blue eyes from Zuko's dream?
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#prince zuko#zutara au#atla art#for the spirits#Chapter VI: Dream of You#the painted lady#painted lady#atla izumi#izumi#Izumi of Jang Hui#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#spirit touched zuko#new gods au#atla fanfic#atla fic#zuko fanfic#book one zuko#The Painted Lady's outfit design changes every time I draw her lol. Let's chalk it up to spirit shenanigans and leave it there.#I'm so excited about this chapter! It's most probably one of the most visual chapters I've written so far.#I couldn't decide between drawing this particular scene or two more... So I did all three *insert evil cackle*#Izumi is in a good mood for the entire chapter. Zuko has a panic attack for the entire chapter. Do the math.#This particular interaction is a Big Moment for him. You'll see why soon enough (*cough* next chapter *cough*)#For all the Lu Ten fans out there. I have an announcement! Our dearest boy Ten Ten is coming back in the next chapter. Keep your eyes open!
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🥺
#this is after Sebastian kills Solomon#eloise understands and could never turn him in🥺#they’re both so similar#honestly I feel like…#living with intense guilt the rest of their lives is enough punishment#but even if they feel guilt over the things they do#at the same time they would never actually do things differently even if they could travel back in time#bc in the moment it was Solomon or them and anything else wouldn’t have been Permanent enough (in their minds)#like Eloise does things that give her with panic attacks in the future but she would always do them again#bc the well-being of people she loves & of herself is her priority#and Sebastian is the same…#sorry if this is rambling…I have finally succumbed to Covid#and I have a high fever😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 every day I feel WORSE…#maybe thst is why I drew an angst drawing😃#anyways I could write up a whole post (more eloquent more thinking) about how I feel about these things#and how these two are kind of unhealthy for each other#bc they see things a lot of times as us vs them…#wow who knows if these tags even make sense😳 my fever is like 38°…#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow fanart
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Whenever Siffrin starts to have an aaAAAAAAAA moment in the game, my heart hurts and I want to hold them
Also fiddling with my human Loop design some more because ... it's fun and Loop in general has taken over my brain lately. I haven't even finished watching everything related to SASASAP but I can't help it 😔
In reality I feel like Loop would probably just wear loose comfy things that don't require a lot of thought for a WHILE but they can be my fashion doll anyway. (Also my human!Loop needs a name and I have 0 ideas at the moment...)
#panic attack tw#isat spoilers#two hats spoilers#<- I should probably start including that tag in.. most of my isat art to be safe#in stars and time#isat au#in which Loop's hair gets longer and more star-like every time I draw them#I'll just say it's growing this way.#isat Siffrin#isat Loop#media
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I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and. I just feel like crying over that fact. a few years ago I was sure I’d be an anxious miserable wreck for my entire life but now I wake up and I love the world and I promise one day you will too. please keep going please hold the world tight. you will giggle at something silly with a stranger. a staff member at a place you frequent will smile when they see you. an elderly person will look at you gratefully for helping them. you’ll cry about stupid stuff and laugh about it later. you’ll drink cold water during a hot day and it will be the best sensation ever. being alive is the best thing I’ve ever experienced.
#WWWAAUUUGGHGH#IM VERY EMOTIONAL. I love living I love the earth I love my friends so much#it was. so bad a few years ago#panic attacks every other day. miserable most of the time. unhealthy habits. every day felt like a bad day#but then I managed to get out of an awful situation. and I made an effort to try and love the place I live now as WELL as being homesick *#* for my home country. and I fought to notice the little things. and I went outside even when I haaated the idea of it#and now???? I’m still disabled. I still have anxiety. I’m not yet back in my home country#but my god I’m so happy in life. it does get better. everyone was right#even though I experience severe chronic pain on the daily. even though I live somewhere noisy and hot and crowded.#life is silly that way :3 I promise it gets better. it’s so cliche and it never sounds true but it is. it is#hopepunk
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Are we gonna have a problem?
#heathers#heathers the musical#heather chandler#my art#causeimanartist#fun fact - I drew this in my notebook first back in like April#then just took a pic and traced over it on my iPad#because right now for some reason - sketching on paper is less intimidating than my iPad#which makes no sense don't ask#I just know that every time I grab my iPad to start a drawing I damn near have a panic attack#so this was a nice work around
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don’t mind me, just living vicariously through my friend’s universal horror nights photos
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#fnaf animatronics#freddy fazbear#chica the chicken#bonnie the bunny#foxy the pirate#freddy#chica#bonnie#foxy#the textures#the details#i wanna smooch em#i wanna snag these babies#i wanna have them in my house#and then have a panic attack every time i get up to use the bathroom at night bc i forgot they’re hanging out in the corner#if only i had the money to go irl#jim henson company
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Well, I drew baby Hunter and Arti, so here’s baby Inv and Saint from the au!
Lore dump time!
Like I’ve said, these siblings are total opposites, and they were even more different as kids. You guys seem to like Saint’s silly expressions, but when they were younger they didn’t express anything. They aren’t bored or annoyed with Inv in the picture, they just literally always looked like that. Inv on the other hand, can’t mask to save their life. They’ve always been very expressive, loud and hyper, in sharp contrast with their sibling who almost never spoke back then.
Unfortunately for Inv, the Iterator that created and raised these two definitely preferred Saint. Inv was too much of a handful, but Saint was the perfect kid in their opinion- basically just a statue. Inv isn’t as stupid as they can act sometimes, and they definitely knew that their younger sibling was the favourite. That wasn’t a great feeling for them.
Despite their differences, Saint and Inv are very close. Inv has always been able to tell what Saint is feeling regardless of what expression they have, and Saint has always been patient with Inv and has never really minded their antics.
#Part of the reason they are so different is the Iterator “learning from their mistakes” when making Inv#So Saint (the second child) turned out a lot more to their liking personality-wise#The only times Saint ever really expressed themself is when they had panic attacks#Which they have always gotten#Constantly bottling up every single emotion they ever got was not very good for them#But hey at least their parent liked them!#Inv has self-worth issues from not being the favourite#They just can’t change#no matter how hard they tried#Anyways the siblings are doing a lot better now#But they are still far from looking or acting normal#Rw Saint#Rw Inv#Rw Enot#rain world#More au things!#Rw siblings au
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Society if there was anti anxiety medication that didn’t make me go into a coma for several days at a time
#yknow when you’re like ok time to take a medicine! and you sleep for 18 hours in one day and 16 the next. and can’t do anything because#you’re so disoriented you can’t even walk upright#and doctors are like oh you just have to take it every day for a month and the fatigue will stop !#like ok can I have your income for that month then? because I can’t Live like this.#at least when I’m having daily panic attacks I’m able to like#eat and think and have friends even if I’m scared#and I’ve been on so many fucking meds that do this to me#idk
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both clark and lois believe that they're invincible but for lois it's an attitude she had to adopt to succeed when everyone tries to make her stop for clark it's a burden he has to live with knowing everyone else can so easily break. when lois is pregnant with jon she continues into run headlong into danger up until she literally can't run meanwhile clark is freaking out about her lifting things and lying on her stomach at 3 months
#lois who's pretty well educated and knows her limits vs clark w/ his country sensibilities and who already thinks the world is made of glass#he 100% is freaking out all the time and having panic attacks because he heard coffees not good for babies#there attitudes on the whole hybrid thing are also very much lois going “i'll follow the rules and moniter closely :)”#but not losing sleep over the alien growing inside her meanwhile clark is having nightterrors about every imaginable senerio ever#leo says shit#clark kent#lois lane#clois#tw pregnancy
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being aro(aroace) is an interesting experience- wdym i see romantic attraction more as 'symptoms' to help me understand? i started writing a story today, and i had to figure out "crush symptoms" in order to write it accurately
no but this is so real
#I’m a writer too and every time I have to write romantic things I’m just looking stuff up and thinking “that sounds like a panic attack bro”#Mod ozzie#our arospec experience#arospec#aromantic#aro#lgbtqia+#queer#aro pride#tw romantic attraction
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While Deku's dad being a deadbeat makes more sense I also think it'd be really funny if it was revealed that Deku actually has been keeping contact with his dad throughout the entire series and it was just never shown. And his dad was actually just a really good guy who loves his wife and son who can't be there because of the No- father protagonist troupe.
Deku calling his dad every weekend to catch up and being like "dad holy fuck you're not gonna believe what happened this week. okay so we got attacked by villains- no don't worry I didn't break my arms this time-"
#hisashi having a panic attack every time he hears deku got hospitalised#bakugou knows deku has a dad but has only seen him once or twice and kinda just sees him as a cryptic#deku#izuku midoriya#hisashi#hisashi midoriya#mha#my hero academia#bnha
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am i allowed to say that it’s a little strange to me that eddie’s serial monogamist tendencies are treated like an immutable characteristic instead of a product of his clearly deep-seated issues with intimacy due to his disastrous marriage, subsequent grief, severe ptsd, rigid belief in Doing Things The Right Way, fear of rejection, etc……….
#not that i think he’d be all eddie 1.0 but omg pretty sure this is something he needs to grow from……..#wish they’d done something better with his dating arc than. what they did#every time i see something about his panic attacks over ana mainly being bc he’s gay i’m like#buddy he has way bigger issues than Homosexuality#*
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