#of COURSE he didn't rape YOU doesn't mean it didn't happen to others

[kangseluigi]

The way so many people were arguing that Michael Jackson is totally innocent when people—and especially CSA survivors—tried to explain that even if nothing explicitly sexual happened, it's not that easy, he definitely crossed some lines, and that kids aren't lying about stuff like that for fun, and it still went on for YEARS, only for hm to be on the fucking Epstein flight list???

[oreolemur]

Ok so how about a Megumi x female reader.... Where Megumi is a bully... He bullied the reader so much. But the reader Fears Megumi so much so she didn't tell anything to Megumi. Reader had a crush on Yuta. They weren't in a relationship but they liked each other so much... Megumi doesn't like it...cz he loves the reader but never tells anyone cz he loves to bully her.... So being jealous one day he raped the reader and made a video of it and send it to Yuta...

Here you go!!

Watching you from a distance, Megumi couldn’t stand to see you happy with Yuta. “That shit pisses me off”, he muttered. It wasn’t like the two of you were dating. You and Yuta have been best friends since elementary school, but as you both got older, you started to develop feelings for each other. “Wanna hang out this weekend?”, Yuta asked. “My roommate will be out of town. We can watch movies and binge on snacks”. He was always a sweet guy. “Sure, sounds fun”, you smiled, gathering your stuff as you began to head to your next class. “Alright, see you Saturday”, Yuta waved goodbye, going his separate ways. You watched him leave, blushing at the thought of having alone time with him. “Eek, I can’t wait!”. 

Once you made it to your next period, you sat down, sighing. “I hope he’s absent today”. You look at the classroom’s entrance, watching and waiting. “Please don’t be here. Please don’t be here”. You bite your nails, bouncing your leg. “Move your bag”, a voice said beside you. You were so focused on one entrance of the classroom that you forgot all about the other. You look next to you, seeing Megumi…your bully. “Move your goddamn bag”, he repeated. You quickly did, placing it on the floor. “I-I thought you weren’t coming today”, you said. Megumi took a seat next to you. “You’d like that wouldn’t you”, he responded. You knew you would actually. Megumi was always mean to you, taunting you however he saw fit. 

Even during lessons, he didn’t care about the fact that you were trying to learn. He would sharpen his pencil, stabbing you in the thigh with it. What made it worse was that you always wore dresses and skirts, so it was easy access for him. “Please stop”, you begged, on the verge of crying. Megumi could hear the pain in your voice. “If you cry I will do it harder”, he said, digging the sharp object into your skin. You clenched your fists, trying not to cry. Your bully heard you struggling as you took deep shaky breaths. “Tch, pathetic”. But that’s not the only thing he would do. When class ended, he would take it upon himself to trip you, making you fall. One day, you fell so hard your face hit your textbooks, causing your nose to bleed. 

You could never escape Megumi. He had you wrapped around his finger. You were his toy and he loved to play with you. Even when you thought it was ok to avoid him, he punished you for it. When he did hit you, he would beat you in places you could cover up. “You know what happens if you tell anyone about this right?”. He would threaten you, making you sure you kept quiet. You never understood what you could’ve done for him to treat you this way. “W-why do you hurt me?”. You asked that question often, but all he ever said was, “Because I want to”.

No matter how close you were with Yuta, you knew you would never have the courage to tell him. He was your safe space, a person that made you smile, and a shoulder to cry on. “He would be heartbroken hearing about this”. You always put on a smile around him, although some days you were in pain or depressed about your situation. No one could make you feel better than Yuta. Maybe that’s why you have feelings for him? “Are you ready to have fun with me tomorrow”, Yuta asked, walking you back to your dorm. “Of course I am”, you blushed. Seeing your face turn red, Yuta blushed as well. “D-did you pick a time for us to meet? I was thinking we could go out to eat first”, the man asked. Dinner with your crush? You were flustered, “Um…h-how about…7?”, you suggested. Yuta agreed to it. 

Once you reached your dorm, you hugged Yuta goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow”, you said. Before you could walk off, Yuta grabbed you by the arm, pulling you in. “What-”, he cut you off, smashing his lips onto yours. “How was that?”, he asked, shocked by his boldness. You blinked a few times as he left you speechless. “Did you not like it?”, he wondered. You shook your head. “N-No…I loved it”. You quickly pecked his lips, walking off. “See you tomorrow!”, you shouted. 

Opening the main entrance to your dorm, you ran into your bully. The two of you looked at each other in silence. “W-what are you doing here?”, you asked. Megumi continued to stare at you. He was furious, but didn’t show it. “Do you like him?”, he asked. You looked at him confused, “Who?”. He sucked his teeth, getting up. “You know who”, he said. “Do you like him…Yuta?”. You nod, “Y-yes, why?”. Megumi stood in front of you, staring into your eyes. He didn’t say anything…just looked. “What do you want?”, you questioned. He ignored your question, walking out of the building. You looked back at him, wondering what that was. “At least he didn’t hurt me”, you said. 

❤~The Next Day~❤

You spent the entire evening getting yourself ready to go out with Yuta. “I have to look my best”, you said looking into your closet for something cute to wear. “This will do”. You picked out a cute black skirt that was knee high. Then you chose a pink long sleeve with ribbons on it. You were so excited that it was hard to contain your happiness. “I can’t believe he kissed me”, you blushed. Having Yuta as your first kiss was a dream come true. “I’m glad he likes me back. Maybe he’ll ask me out”. You daydreamed about the two of you being together. A dream with just love and security…and no Megumi. Definitely no Megumi. You couldn’t help but think about the awkward run in you had with him yesterday. “What was his problem?”. You shook it off, focusing on getting ready. “Nothing will stand in the way of my happiness tonight”. 

Meanwhile Megumi was in his apartment, sitting on the couch.  He stared blankly at the TV which wasn’t even on. “She likes him”, he said. The man saw everything that happened between you and Yuta. “They kissed”. He was in his feelings. “She belongs to me”. Megumi loved you. But how could that be? He clenched his fists at the idea of you dating someone other than him. He wanted you. You were his and his only. It didn’t matter that all he does is hurt you. “She’s mine”. He got up from the couch, grabbing his keys. He decided it would be best to go for a nightly stroll to clear his head. 

❤~6:30pm~❤

You checked yourself in the mirror. “I look so cute”, you smiled. You applied some makeup to your face, adding any finishing touches to it. “Ok…done”. You grabbed your purse and phone, sending a text to Yuta that you’re on the way. You exited your room, heading down stairs. The moment you got to the main entrance, you saw Megumi standing there. It was like he was waiting for something…or someone. You slowly opened the door, wondering why he was there. “Megumi? W-why are you here?”. He took a step close to you, staring. “What do you-”, before you could finish, he slapped you. “Ow”. You rubbed your cheek, looking at him with tearful eyes. “Come with me”, he said. You shook your head, “I can’t I-”. He hit you again. “Come with me”, he repeated. Your cheek began to bruise. You held your face, looking down at the floor. Megumi watched you cry, feeling nothing. He stepped closer to you, grabbing your face. “When your boyfriend tells you to do something you do it”, he said.

You looked at him confused. “B-boyfriend?”, you paused. “We’re not even dating”. He grabbed your wrists, dragging you along with him. “Let's go”. You stumbled, trying to catch up with him. “Please let go of me”, you begged, attempting to pull your arm away from him. He gripped you tighter, digging his nails into your skin. You knew you were powerless against him, so you had no other choice but to follow him. He took you across campus to the apartments that were beside the university. “I hope he doesn’t beat me badly this time”, you hoped. Once he approached his front door, he opened it, pushing you inside. 

You jumped when his dogs began to bark at you. “Ignore them”, he said, guiding you to his bedroom. He ordered you to sit on the bed as he closed the door behind him. “Can we make this quick? I-I have somewhere important to be”, you stated. You took out your phone, looking at the time.”Give me your phone”, Megumi demanded. You didn’t want to. “Why?”, you asked. He walked up to you, snatching it out of your hand. “H-hey, come-”. He slapped you again, making the bruise even worse. “Please stop hitting me”, you begged. Megumi ignored you, unlocking your phone. “You think it’s ok to cheat on me?”, he said. The man kept confusing you. “Cheat? What are you talking about?”. Megumi scoffed, “You know exactly what I’m talking about”.

He was beyond delusional at this point. “I saw what you and Yuta did!”. You can see the anger in his eyes as he was starting to lose his composure. “He kissed you and-”, Megumi was cut off. A text from Yuta came through. “What does he mean “Are you still coming?”, the man asked. “W-we were supposed to hang out tonight”, you said. Megumi bawled his fists. “What!”. He grabbed you by the neck, pinning you on the bed. He choked you as he spewed nonsense about you belonging to him. You clawed at his hands, trying desperately to get him to unhand you. “S-stop”, you begged. His grip became harder. Your eyes started to roll to the back of your head. Your body continued to fight back, but the longer he choked you…your limbs grew weak. “Damnit!”, Megumi shouted as he let go. You gasped for air as he got off you.

Megumi reached for your phone, unlocking it again. “Guess I’ll  have to show you AND him who you belong to”. He went to your camera, pressing record. He set the device on his dresser, making sure it was facing the bed. As he approached you, you noticed he was taking off his clothes. You tried to sit up, but he pushed you back down. His hands took hold of your skirt, pulling it off along with your panties. You tried to stop him but he smacked your hand away. “Keep fighting and I’ll make it worse”, he warned. You didn’t want to take that chance, so you compiled. Megumi pried your legs open, spitting on your pussy, before shoving his full length in. You cried out in pain, feeling him thrust hard. “Shut up and take it”, he said. He groaned at how tight you were. It was painful, you never thought that your first time would be like this. 

He lifted up your shirt, exposing your jiggling breasts. He grabbed them, squeezing hard. “Megumi…please”, you sobbed. Megumi ignored you, continuing to do as he pleased. “Fuck”, he moaned, going harder. You couldn’t stop clenching around him. Your tight walls milked his cock, making the man blush. He leaned into your face, holding it still as he kissed you. You cried into his mouth as he forcefully stuck his tongue inside. The phone was still recording, catching everything that Megumi was doing to you. He pulled away from your mouth, looking back at the device, grinning. “Perfect”, he whispered. He drew his attention back to you, staring at your tearful face. “Don’t act like you don’t like it”, he said. “You’re supposed to love your boyfriend’s cock inside you”. 

Megumi stopped, flipping you over on your stomach. He lubed your ass up with spit, rubbing his dick against your anus. “Are you done?”, you asked. “I can’t take anymore”. He grabbed your hair, yanking your head back. Your body was pressed against his chest as he whispered into your ear. “You’ll take whatever I give you”. He pushed you back down, thrusting hard into your ass. You were shocked by how much it hurt. Your cries grew louder. Megumi dug his nails into your waist, holding it for support. “St-stop”, you whimpered. It didn’t take long for your voice to die down. Your vision blurred as you started to pass out. “About time you shut the fuck up”, Megumi said. 

❤~Hours Later~❤

You woke up, lying naked beside your bully. He was sound asleep with his arm wrapped around you. You slowly got up, trying not to make a sound. It was hard to move. You can tell he did more after you lost consciousness. “I know Yuta is disappointed in me”, you said. As you got dressed, you looked for your phone, grabbing it off Megumi’s nightstand. “What the hell?”, you stared at you and Yuta’s messages. He blew up your phone, making you wonder why. As you scrolled up more, your heart dropped. Megumi sent the video to him. “W-why would he do that?”. He edited the video to when you had passed out. He made it look like the two of you were having sex. You cried silently as you grabbed your purse to leave. 

“I’m guessing you saw the video”, Megumi woke up, hearing you sniffle. You looked back at him, asking him why he did that. “Because I love you…”, he got up from the bed, walking over to you. His hand reached out, caressing your face. “You think I want to see you happy with someone else”. He wiped away your tears, taking the phone out of your hand. “Looks like my plan worked”, he read the messages, feeling proud of himself. “You’re an asshole”, you said, snatching your phone out of his hands. Megumi laughed at you. He didn’t care that he ruined your chance with Yuta. All that mattered was that you were his. “Don’t be mad, sweetheart. You’ll grow to love me soon enough”.

[ninyard]

Heyy! You said someone should ask you about Kevin under this post about Kevin's struggles from the nest of which we don't know enough... So I'm asking you about Kevin! Please tell us your Kevin thoughts! You always make very good points and I like reading your thoughts!!

cody my friend I am so glad you asked but you might regret it. i hope you're prepared from an unorganised huge convoluted MESS of a ramble

i've been thinking for a few days about this one like... what would a kevin POV look like? what is he hiding? how does he cope? WHO IS HE?

the kevin we ""know"" is a "coward", an insufferable bitch, an asshole and a hardass. other people's opinions and view of him makes up the entirety of our impression of who he is. but that's not who he is. that's just who we're supposed to believe he is.

kevin, born and bred to have this... borderline psychopathic lack of empathy, who can look his teammates in the eye after being told seth is dead or andrew is being committed and say, "what about the game?"

but when the raven's are switching districts; his sense of danger and fear is paralysing. he's three steps ahead trying to figure out how to please riko, how to keep himself safe, willing to put himself back into the centre of his abuse just to stop riko from finding him and killing him. he has to get blackout drunk to deal with any amount of riko. he's frozen with fear by being in the same room as him.

kevin knows where jean's mind and body goes to when hes panicking, knowing his worst place is right back in the nest being drowned by riko. kevin telling neil "do you know what he'll do to you?" and "he'll break you" when neil asks for his ticket. kevin's text to him before he goes into the nest, and staring at neil like he'd seen a ghost when neil returns after the nest (when he looks like the butcher). his comforting "i know what he's like" or "i know how he sees you, i know it means he did not hold back,".

kevin nervous breakdown panic attack day vs kevin smile for the cameras one track exy mind day

im so intrigued by him. how does he cope? his mother is dead, probably killed by the mafia family he was raised by. he grew up into a cult, he was only a child watching neil's father cut a man into pieces in front of him. how many other's had he seen?

how many other injuries cover his body, in places where the cameras can't see? how many rapes and assaults was he forced to watch in the nest? how many beatings was he forced to participate in? what did he have to say to jean in french that he didn't want riko to hear?

he needs someone with him all the time because of the nest. he's a "health freak" because of the nest. his sleep schedule, his anger, his anxiety.

did he say "what about the season?" re: andrew after drake because he doesn't care, or did he think "i've seen this happen too many times. and they've always kept playing,"? did he think "andrew is the strongest person i know. andrew is stronger than me. he would never let this destroy him," knowing that it has?

nobody has protected him in his life apart from the cameras and andrew.

he's scared. he doesn't know what love is supposed to look like.

he's only been a human for a year.

his scars are healing for the first time in his life and they're not being replaced by new ones, but every day he's afraid that that's going to get ripped out from underneath him. his entire life already got flipped upside down when he left the nest. of course exy is the only thing he "cares" about.

because it's the only thing that's been certain in his life, and even for those few weeks or months where he thought he would never play again, he trained and trained, and learned how to use his non-dominant hand because he can't lose this. he can't lose exy like he's lost everything else.

kevin has never had anything stable in his life except for violence and exy. now he has people he's supposed to care about, and he has to change his priorities. he has to learn how live a life that isn't fueled by self-preservation for the first time ever.

jean was only in the nest for five years; and look at him. look at what the nest has done to his social skills, his view of himself, his self esteem. look at what it's done to him, how he expects violence and contrition, coach and always waiting and waiting and waiting for the punishment to come.

kevin might not have had the same level of physical abuse that jean had, but he was there far longer. the ravens existed before him; their mindset and their abuse and their violence and their poison.

he's been drinking the raven poison since his childhood. the only difference between him and jean other than those things above is that kevin had more pressure to hide it, because he was half of the face of the ravens, half of the face of Exy; media trained or PR trained or a master at being a fraud and faking the way he speaks when he's being recorded.

kevin knows how to hide his abuse because he has always had to, and he's had quite a lot of practice at it.

kevin has only been a human for a year. kevin has only been kevin for a year.

so who is he? does he even know?

or is he just Kevin Day, Raven Fox starting striker, number two, six foot two, left handed right handed left handed, heavy racquet, stick size five? is that all he will ever see himself as?

anyways. or something like that. maybe he is just an insufferable bitch for no reason at all. who knows!

[princelylove]

Hello prince!

I’ve been lurking on your blog for a bit, and I’m so excited by the way you characterize the yanderes!

Seeing your talent with noncon and writing the yanderes being horrid little jerks to their darlings, I’d like to please request: What if darling was very touch adverse due to previous sexual assault/s, not done by the yandere? I feel like you can see the vision, the angst potential.

Just squirming out of the way, shifting to sit on the opposite end of the couch, telling them firmly but as politely as possible to please not touch them. Would telling them even be smart? I’m certain some would take offense that darling technically has a body count, even if it wasn’t consensual. Narciso for example is probably not the man to tell… I’m debating if Josuke would say something to the effect of “Ew. Gross. Don’t tell me that when I’m trying to smash” or if he’d just tune it out entirely. Narancia probably wouldn’t care, until too many rejected physical affections make him stabby.

I’m not even sure if the “nicer”, more protective ones like Risotto would handle the flinching well. I am curious with how you portray him, he does seem oddly sweet in an overbearing way, but a man’s patience has limits.

Of course, there’s so much potential, so many different reactions! But our Prince is busy; If any characters in particular (mentioned here or not) jump out to you, I’d like to hear your thoughts!

Ahh. Sexual aversion. The biggest problem for obsessive, insecure types. Not all sexual abuse victims will react this way, obviously, but it's an interesting concept. The full wheel of fight or flight reactions- freezing, fighting, fleeing, fawning- they're all awful, depending on your yandere.

The only one who can fully understand someone who's been raped or sexually assaulted is someone that's been raped or sexually assaulted. Sexual abuse is a niche that only other abuse victims can understand.

Frankly, you don't know what it's like. It's hard to understand even when it's such a simple concept as "he touched me when I didn't want it" or "she kept harassing me continuously." It's simple! It's just trauma. Shit happens. But it's not.

Most yanderes do not have an ounce of understanding for basic psych- nor do they want their darling to be getting treated by some guy that can fill their head with ideas of them being an abuser of some kind just because they love a little hard. It's impossible for them to understand why you're reacting in such a way.

Never mind the fact that most of them have their own issues and are going to take even the smallest bit of rejection personally. It's not even supposed to be a big deal- you're just politely declining.

Narancia never learned that rejection isn't always personal, nor is it always, really, that deep. Sometimes, people just aren't in the mood. He doesn't even have that high of a sex drive, sometimes the sight of his darling just does something for him, and he assumes it's mutual. It's not like he's a total dog- it's just that sometimes, he'll start to move his hands a little too up or down during mandatory holding time.

Narancia enforces that daily cuddling time, whether you want it or not. If you're clearly having an anxiety attack because he's holding you down and has a knife to your throat to make sure you don't squirm out, he'll just kiss it better, because kisses make him feel better.

To Narancia, any bit of pulling away is too much. It means you want to leave him and hate him and think he's stupid. Really, all you're saying is you don't want sex, not him, but his cute little brain can't differentiate between real and perceived abandonment.

He thinks you're just doing that thing chicks do- you know, playing hard to get. You don't wanna seem like a total slut, sure, but isn't that way hotter than this whole fleeing from him like he's a predator bullshit? You gotta be mad at him. There's no way you'd just scoot away from him for no reason- you love cuddling with him! He knows you keep trying to tell him about how some guy was bad to you in the past, but he's dead, so who cares! He took care of the problem! What?

Narancia usually takes "no" as a fighting word. You can actually see his smile drop once you say it. You're leaving him. What did he do? No, you can't leave him. He loves you. He hates you. You're the worst and a total bitch for doing this to him. Wait, don't go. He'll be a better boyfriend.

One too many of these conversations means the inevitable, that pocket knife is coming out. You're fucking with him and deserve it, like you deserved whatever the hell made you into such a bitch.

He'll patch up whatever wound he made while crying later. He didn't mean it. Do you still love him?

That body count comment.... Some yanderes do care that you're not "pure" anymore.

Risotto isn't one of those types. If anything, it makes him think that you need him more. You're delicate, you're wounded. Something happened and he wasn't there just yet, wasn't aware of you...

You're like a little doe with a broken leg. What a sweet little thing. He takes extra care not to snap the legs you have left; Risotto doesn't have a high sex drive and doesn't enjoy forcing his darling to do anything. The only time he'll ever use all of that strength against you is to one, bring you home and two, force you into a hug you 'clearly' need. He doesn't even sleep in the same bed as you, he'd sooner sleep in his office chair or on the floor. In the same room, but nowhere close. If you would like, he can leave for the night. (To you.)

Physical affection helps. If you get used to him, you'll be comforted by his presence, his smell. The only thing being forced down your throat is dinner, some water during the day. Doesn't that sound good?

Risotto is fairly happy to accommodate you. He's not about to punish you for communicating with him. He spoils you, in a sense. As much as he can. Anything but taking that lock off the front door, anything but letting you out. He doesn't... understand, entirely. He doesn't know what would help someone of your... someone fighting your battles. Do you want crafts? Some company, no company? He could teach you how to sew so you're not just sitting there listening to the voices down the hall all day.

You're just proving his point by backing away from him. He sighs a little bit, he wasn't going to do anything, but it's not like you know that. Risotto's voice is always low and soft, he's talking to you like he loves you.

Which he does.

"It's only me. I was reaching for your hand. Just put your hand on top of mine for a few seconds."

Men his age know how to be patient. He'd bear anything to make his darling happy, to give them a good life. He'd work a hard labor job on a rotten foot. He'd give up his bed, his entire office. He'd stay awake all night to ease the anxiety that something is going to get you. His frustrations... they're taken out elsewhere. While it may (definitely does) stress him out that he isn't making any progress with his darling, it brings him a sense of pleasure that he isn't harming them. That's the most important thing to him. Having them, keeping them to himself, and keeping them away from harm.

Some yanderes, usually the younger and more possessive ones, do care about your "body count." Really, if you're asking the question, it's because you want a certain answer.

Contradicting myself immediately, I mean types like Wes. You're ruining his fantasy of you when you talk about shit you've done in the past, and you're pissing him off with this whole 'backing away and borderline screaming' shit. He's not gonna hurt you, he's just a little handsy. Come on.

Wes has little patience. He used to be a lot sweeter when he was younger and when he temporarily lost his memories. If you're not this sweet little schoolgirl that's gonna spend all of her firsts on him, why is he even here? Why's he so interested in sloppy seconds? His obsession unfortunately won't just go away, but it's clear he's less than thrilled over it once he figures you out. It's something that has him in a bad mood every time he remembers, but it's also... not the worst. If you're still all anxious and timid, that's cute, and therefore hot.

Maybe it's not so bad after all, as long as you pretend to be what he wants. He thinks it's fun to get a rise out of his darling- as long as you're dressed how he'd like, and looking at him like he's going to eat you just because his hand is firmly on your thigh, then he can forget about it for a little bit. It's better when you freeze, or when you're all polite about it. Nothing does it for him like a formal no, and that look of panic... you might as well still be a virgin if you're scared of a little touching.

[zeevoidlight]

I think Vegeta was a virgin up until he met Bulma.

I know, what a freaking way to start an argument but blame reddit for asking and leading me to a trail of autism thoughts, and I will also talk about Vegeta's attraction to Bulma and viceversa when they first met. Like, how tho. Albeit from a demisexual perspective (or asexual, idk anymore really). (I saw the latin dub but as I have heard it is very similar to the japanese version but I'll reference the japanese one if i found footage of it).

/////

Some might believe that because of his attitude, his raw power, his Saiyan heritage, his status as conqueror of planets, genocidal maniac, sociopath extraordinare, his military background and his ruthlessness and uncaring nature, Vegeta was raping people left and right, or that he has always been very sexually active, or at least had some experience regarding the matter.

But be honest, he was too dense with everything from his childhood traumas and his vengeance against Frieza to care about having sex, or having a relationship with anyone in any capacity.

Also he is too proud and values his Saiyan heritage too much to give anyone he didn't deem worthy the privilege to have sex with him, let alone risk the possibility of an offspring. At least that's how I see Vegeta being pre Namek and pre dying against Frieza having to confront and accept by force an overwhelming amount of feelings on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Dude didn't even thought two times to kill Nappa and let Raditz rot instead of reviving him as the last remainings of his people, that's how dense he was prior. He was so proud that he didn't mind to be the only Saiyan left alive and probably preferred it that way. Nappa that one time suggested to him that they could revive the Saiyan race by mixing with earthlings and Nappa was ready to pound (consensual or not) and Vegeta is like "nah, are you crazy? I wouldn't like to have a child being stronger than me". Dude probably had the opportunity to do so some other times but rejected it, he doesn't sound interested at all, first thinking on other things than sex. Added to that the detail that Toriyama was asked and said that Saiyans basically only get together sexually for the purpose of reproduction, is not a necessity for the most part in the same way it is for humans.

Of course he wasn't oblivious to it like Goku though and was well aware because he's not stupid. Outside of the English dub he notices Bulma on Namek and even refers to her as gorgeous, or pretty earthling woman. So I guess he still had a sexual notion but in other ways. He was not innocent of mind is what I'm saying. Like, he must have known what flipping the bird means. Is probably not that he didn't knew what sex was and desired it at some point or joked about it like I guess they'd do in Frieza's army but he was just not interested on acting on it for real at that time.

But then, after Frieza died and everything that happened after his disaster visit to Earth and Namek, after loosing literally everything and having no purpose anymore other than wait and find Goku to best him, and after having realized more of himself in vulnerable ways trying to find some sense of normality in who he perceived he was, here comes Bulma all confident, infatuated and aggressive with him, because of course she like the bad boys (and Vegeta is actually canonically deemed as handsome), and because Vegeta let his guard down for one second and let Bulma be Bulma while he literally couldn't do anything but go along (I suppose Piccoro was the only one that could have fight him if he tried anything). And he already found her attractive too in a way, not only that but she was probably the first woman that wasn't scared of him and even challenged him, treating him as an equal and as just another person, flirting with him openly, living with her and her family as a guest which is a completely different context to what he had been doing to survive his medium. Like, no one really talks about it but he spent 6 months! with her, her family, and like 50 namekians all living together before asking for Goku to "revive", and that time of waiting calmed him down a great deal already.

His interactions with Bulma

So just so happens that now he can think on other things that aren't killing Frieza and escaping his rulership. He had to learn this new types of interactions and how to deal with them in his own way, and that includes how to approach someone that he felt attracted to. Who knows if he had other people he felt that attraction towards, probably, but Bulma is the one that basically said "yeah, I'm down if you want".

The fact that he calls her "vulgar" when she first flirted with him says a lot of how he would not engage with just anyone because of his pride as a prince and a Saiyan, and how she probably was the first to even flirt with him openly. How he says she is "loud" and called her "woman" also says that he was more likely annoyed by the idea of women as gender like it often happens, belittling them and all. While on the other hand Bulma constantly challenged him on it once they got to Earth, forcing him to address the topic as we see several times, being strong against him. Like (again I'm going with the Latin version since I've heard is more accurate to the japanese version), Bulma says to him "and what about you, small one", and he's like "what?!... She called me small one?..." (in japanese she just calls him Vegeta-kun, like a pet name), he was not willing to dignify the provocation huffing to Bulma's invitation after but didn't menace her nor got aggressive or sarcastic like he would with someone else. But then she said "I'm going to give you a lot of food. Bet you eat as much as Goku, am I wrong? haha!... But I'm not going to allow you fall in love with me even if you find me very attractive", and is in this moment where you can see Vegeta's wtf face entering panic mode resorting to insult her under his breath as if she could see through him. Is right here where you see that he doesn't really know how to react to someone flirting and is debating between bursting in anger or run away but just ends up paralyzed because his ego won't let him move. (in japanese he reacts by muttering "what a vulgar woman! and how loud she is (being)!")

Then they go to Bulma's house and Vegeta just tags along. It seems that going through Namek with the earthlings, helping each other and cooperating like his life depended on it was an experience for a lifetime. My man can't seem to get a rest from one wft after the other since he arrived to Earth because the next thing that happens is that Bulma's mother comes to him faster than light startling him and says "[]...I imagine you must be Bulma's boyfriend. You ARE charming. And it looks like you are trendy". And the only thing he can muster to reply back is "t-trendy?" (I find it funny that that's what he reacted to and not to being called Bulma's boyfriend XD)

Vegeta's disinterest and rejection is part of why I think Bulma was interested on him. Because the interactions Bulma has had with men in general throughout the entirety of the series have been... very poor to say the least. Men want take advantage of Bulma in one way or another but more often than not sexually (I mean just being in Roshi's general vicinity is more than enough for anyone), or they see her as a "thing" for themselves, a trophy. (this one bellow was so terribly stressful, my god...)

And Bulma's approach to men is a similar as well because she is clearly very superficial too and that has remained a constant since day one. (jesus, bulma)

And Vegeta wasn't interested on taking her like that, on the contrary he pushed her away despite being interested (which I bet Bulma knew or at least expected because of her own ego), and also he had greater objectives he wanted to pursue. Focused (on surpassing Goku...), determined, and that was the difference. He doesn't seem like the type of guy that would try to get an opportunity to peek through the shower window seeking to get a glimpse of her like we have seen others do (although, Bulma did saw him through the shower doors), or disrespect her in any physical way. Far from it, his reactions with her are getting all nervous, speechless, flustered, he follows her (because in a way he does respect her character and leadership), aggressively rejecting her at the same time (trying to negate his feelings to go back to the status quo), calling her names, and Bulma isn't taking none of that because she doesn't believe that bs he's spouting and she knows he likes her (like, who wouldn't, as she probably tells herself), even plays with it sarcastically and either brushes it off or dares him to say it again. And I can see why is she so insistent too, because she also likes him.

He lets her get close to him but cautiously (the comparison to a stray cat is not too farfetched). He knows what Bulma wants but just now he has found someone that confronts him about it without fear or shame, he has now the mental space to think about it and needs to respond to it somehow, he is interested back too, he IS aroused by her as well. When he arrives to Bulma's house from his search in space and Yamcha and him are al tense with each other, Bulma arrives and says all calmly "Calm down, boys. Why don't you let him take a shower first?", she touches him and says "C'mon. You have to take a shower because you are VERY dirty" *finger movent, "Come. It's this way". That flinch he does when she touches him while going into fight or flight mode again, and the famous sexy finger movement on Bulma's part that completely seeks to throw him off and serve as a sexual invitation that he quietly accepts (even before she yells at him to stop gawking and not let a damiselle wait) by being passive and following her lead to the surprise of everyone in the scene.

I mean, I'm not the most versed person regarding this (as you can probably see) but It's happened to me where someone gives me something they have to hand me, and they let their hand stay a little longer than usual, or unnecessarily caress your palm with their fingers or nails with the intention for you to notice the unusual movement and tingly sensation as a way of flirting and invite you to sexy time. So I see this the first time and i'm like "Bulma?... ~what is this?~ I see your game" while remembering the first time someone did that to me so clearly. People think that because it's some people's first time you'll be all awkward and won't know how to be sexy too, specially being an older virgin person which would be Vegeta's case, but nah, you just gotta be confident and say "fuck it, I want this too and will give you a good time as well". It is how I picture Vegeta, ultimately knowing his value (also ultimately accepting something for himself after loosing everything on Namek) and enjoying himself as well (like, "serving himself with the bigger spoon" as they say) once they got there when he had to take a decision and answer Bulma's provocations.

(Also, I never totally understood why Bulma's mom was spilling the tea in the background at that moment but I suspected it was because it meant to signify Vegeta and Bulma were "cooking" and very into each other, and not just her being careless and aloof tho using that as a way to convey it).

Every time they in a scene she's measuring him with every interaction they have from the moment they got back to Earth onward, to see how far he's willing to allow her go, and hitting him with another wtf reaction every now and then to trow him off. Even going as far as put him in ridiculous and assert HER dominance. Because is not that he couldn't have just blasted everyone away with every step but little by little both were forming a connection. The scene of the pink shirt, after Vegeta gets offended by the style she says "If you don't want them you can walk around nude"... D: (his pikachu face was better than mine though, and then he says "damn, she's very rude"). I mean... is there anything more clear than that.

And then she sees him and says "You really look good like that...". Not only that but when Vegeta senses Frieza arriving he gets mad, insults Yamcha for doubting his ability to sense Frieza's chi, they're about to fight each other and Bulma is cooking some meat and is like "Vegeta, if you want to use the sauce I have it here", and everyone, specially Vegeta, is visibly confused and he doesn't know how to respond, the scene is left unanswered. But Bulma is pushing to see if Vegeta can be gentle and mannered.

(side note: Trunks says that after his arrival Yamcha was going to be unfaithful to Bulma but no man, That's what future Bulma told him but is more likely that it was her the one that left him for Vegeta that day, way before Trunks arrived. Even on Namek she already was over him, thinking of Goku and how she lost her train with him, then with Zarbon, and finally Vegeta (she also had a picture of Yamcha in her little camp in Namek full of darts to his face, so...). Yamcha never really had Bulma, and he didn't do much to get her back either or change. Truth is Bulma is the crazy one). And then when Frieza arrives to Earth Bulma arrives at the scene too and explains that since she couldn't see Frieza in Namek she wanted to see him here to see how strong he really was, and Vegeta says "not only she's rude but aggressive/daring too..." In this very soft thoughtful tone and talking to himself, like... C'mon dude! Accept that you like her!

And then then! when everyone is going towards Frieza's ship, Bulma is the one who yells "Wait, Vegeta! take me with you! Remember who hosts you!" (is that how you say it? dar alguien hospedaje?). Yamcha is completely out of her picture.

We see the next time the most obvious episode where the love tones are more present, Vegeta's training montage after the news of the androids, and his accident with the gravity chamber, but by then it was just confirmation of all the signs from before. So when we see Bulma with baby Trunks it doesn't really come out of nowhere and you understand how and why.

While I find Super's tsundere Vegeta in some instances fun to watch, more with him and Goku to be honest, but I don't think Z Vegeta was taking it in such a juvenile way, he's more adult and mature still about the situation, as mature as someone calling a girl "woman" to assert dominance that is. The flirting "dance" towards their sexual encounter is more silent and elegant, just like two adults would do so. He wants to get closer but the only thing the dude has known his entire life is fighting and being on offense mode all the time while at the same time having to hide. Their dynamic is quite interesting and quite amazing, not for nothing they are considered to be one of if not the best couple in anime, and trying to unravel how it all started is really fun.

But yeah, As I see it and if we could compare Vegeta's sexuality to something from real life he, as most saiyans, was probably demi-sexual (yay), since it's said that Saiyan's don't understand romance and they likely only had sex to reproduce. They didn't had the concept of family outside of the royal family. And that's why also Vegeta is one of the few saiyans that later could develop an understanding of family and being in a relationship in a way other saiyans don't, including Goku.

So yeah, that's my terminally online post of the day. Nothing but Dragon ball and Vegeta on my mind lately.

I would like to get into analyzing Goku and Vegeta's sexuality soon too. It's so interesting as well because is not traditional.

[geekthefreakout]

The Joy Leaving the Work

This post will be discussing the works of Neil Gaiman and my personal relationship with them. If you don't like that or cannot handle that, kindly don't read. Also, there will be allusions to SA in the discussions.

So, a couple of weeks ago I decided to pick up Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman-- a book I've owned for a couple of years that's been in my "to read pile" waiting its turn. In the light of the allegations against Gaiman, I put off reading it a couple of months more as I tried to process how I felt. Now I've read it.

Background: Neil Gaiman has been my favorite author bar none ever since I read Coraline in 5th Grade. He and Sir Terry Pratchett share a bookshelf of honor in my room- the one right behind my bed, so I can easily reach for a comfort read. I've always loved his twists on various stories-- The Graveyard Book and Neverwhere being two of my favorites. The dark-but-not-too-dark tone, the dry humor, the magical realism, all of it. Anansi Boys looked like it would have all of that.

And it did! In a vacuum, this would have been a very enjoyable read. But with the allegations, I noticed things that I wouldn't have before. For example (spoilers, I guess):

Mr. Nancy (the titular Anansi) is a funny old man, and often a bit lecherous. In his final moments, he's doing karaoke with some young, buxom blondes when he has a heart attack and falls off the stage, hand outstretched. As he goes down, he sticks his hand out, grabbing one girl's tube top and exposing her as he dies.

This anecdote in the book is presented as something that embarrasses his son (our protag) but is generally interpreted by the other characters as something that was just so funny and charming.

It made me uncomfortable. In fact, just about every time Mr. Nancy alluded to his Master Roshi-like interest in buxom young women, I felt uncomfortable. But wait, there's more:

Spider (secret twin brother of protag Fat Charlie) is interested in Fat Charlie's fiancee. He tricks her into thinking that he IS Fat Charlie, and this girl who had been saving her virginity til marriage is so taken by him that they have sex. Meaning not only did he entice the girl to sex under false circumstances (this is rape), but it's also unclear as to how much of her going along with him is really HER and how much is his... mojo, I suppose. To the story's credit, once she realizes what has happened she gets angry and breaks up with both of them, no longer wanting anything to do with them... until, of course, happenstance brings them together again and she admits that she had real feelings for Spider, who finds himself wanting to behave better for her.

That doesn't sit right with me in the best of circumstances. These are not the best of circumstances.

I finished the book and it took me this long- two weeks and change- to decide how I feel about it. And how I feel about it is this-- I cannot separate it from the author. I cannot enjoy this book because the slime from Gaiman's actions oozes all over it. And that sucks.

I'm almost afraid to reread my favorites from him, for fear that my happy memories of those books will be ruined too. That SUCKS.

And it makes me feel dumb for never having seen the misogyny in the books before. It's like when Rowling showed herself to be what she was and I couldn't enjoy Harry Potter anymore, but worse because Gaiman is an author that I was still actively reading, who had been vocally supportive of queer and trans people, who I'd still looked up to. When it all went down with Rowling, I realized that I'd been excusing a lot of problematic shit in her writing as ignorance, rather than malice. But it WAS malice. And now I'm wondering if I didn't make the same mistake with Gaiman. That sucks too.

Anyway. That's my rant. Thanks for listening. Please share if you're having issues like this too, it's good to not feel alone.

[bicmason]

Alphabet NSFW — Simon "Ghost" Riley.

★ Synopsis: An alphabetical list of Simon's sex life with Reader!

★ Warnings: fem!reader, swearing, Mentions of abuse/rape, some kinks, not reviewed, NSFW (yk yk).

A = Cuidados posteriores (como são depois do sexo)

– He hugs you, sighing and smiling at you.

> "It was good, right? I hope I didn't hurt you too much..."

– He says many things in your ear, caressing your skin before getting up.

> "Shall we take a shower? Or would you prefer to stay in bed a little longer?"

– Normally, he prefers for you to take a shower, but if you ask him with that smile of yours that melts his heart, he will stay in bed, just cuddling and resting in each other's presence.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

– I think Simon is a breast man. Whether they are small or big, he loves your breasts. He loves to suck them, make them dirty, and then rest on them. It has a good meaning for him. He feels good and comfortable.

– And for him, he likes his voice. He loves how whispering some dirty things in your ear makes you want to fuck him right then and there. The way that when he comes up behind you, whispering how beautiful you look today and every day, you grunt softly, looking at him with doe eyes without him even touching you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

– This man loves cumming on your breasts! please let him do this.

> "Your breasts look so beautiful with my cum on them..." He says in his arrogant voice, spreading his cum on your nipples right before sucking on them.

– And also, inside you. God, the sight of you in a post-orgasm mess, with his cum leaking out of you? This man is ready to fuck you again!! :(

– He has the feeling and certainty that you are his, his to fill and fuck until you get tired, and after that, you are his also to love and be able to trust.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

– As much as he hates showing many things to you in public, his mind has wandered once or twice to the idea of fucking you in front of people. Of course, in a place that is not commonly seen, but soldiers definitely pass by there.

– The idea wandered into his mind, but he quickly brushed them aside, after all you are his, and only his, he doesn't want to share the sight of your beautiful body with the guys.

– As a bonus, he also took a pair of your panties to the missions. He loves masturbating to them, since he doesn't have your touch, at least something with your smell.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

– He is experienced, just not very experienced. He knows he's going to slam his heavy balls against your ass until he cums, but what about you? He doesn't know what to do here.

– You'd have to teach him a thing or two, since he's never really been interested in making a woman come, but now you're HIS woman. He NEEDS you to scream his name as he makes you cum.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

– A classic, missionary. He loves seeing your face as he cums. It simply makes him want to go deeper into you.

> “Fuckk, you look so beautiful rolling your eyes, baby...” He murmurs above you, smiling before burying his face in the crook of your neck as he moans and grunts, sinking deeper into you.

– God, he loves fucking you in front of a mirror. He wants you to sit on him, he will hold your thighs from behind and lift you up, watching his dick move in and out of your tight pussy. You lean back into his chest as he lifts you up so easily, kissing your neck from behind as he tells you to keep watching his cock sink into you. Damn, Simon would easily come in that position.

> "Oh fuckkk- yeah, watch your greedy pussy swallow my cock... keep your eyes open, baby." He murmurs, positioning himself behind you, not letting you lean back.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

– He's not too serious. If something funny happens, or you start to smile at something silly that happened there, he will smile back.

> After hearing the funny sound your pussy made as he sank into you, you laughed softly, earning a smile from him before he pulled out his dick and slammed it back inside you, drawing a loud moan from your throat. "I think this sound is better, my love"

– But still, he's not making jokes.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

– He has a happy trail. It's trimmed, but still visible because he knows when you like it.

– Generally, always well trimmed. And yes, the rugs match the curtains.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

– As I said before, he never worried about making a woman come, not before he met you.

– Simply, when you came the first time while he continued fucking you, he took it to another level.

– He considers it too intimate. The idea that you, his lover, who he loves so much, is there feeling the same pleasure as him is overwhelming his little heart :((

– He also wouldn’t have sex with you so quickly at the beginning of the relationship. It would take a few months for him to feel like he can trust you, to know that you won't touch him just for fun, but because you love him too.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

– He has masturbated countless times on missions, always moaning and whimpering your name, missing you, your touch.

– If you ask, he will love to masturbate in front of you. He likes to see your bright eyes when he moans your name, fist shaking, knowing how wet you are.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

– Domination. He loves to dominate you there, being your Top while watching your beautifully crying face as he fucks you so good, knowing he is going to ruin you.

– He’s a Switch too by the way. He loves being on top of you, dominating you, but he also loves being your good boy, rocking his hips up while you tease his dick with your cute hand :((

– Praise/worship. He just loves praising you. Making you feel special while honestly treating you like a slut for nothing more than fucking you hard. But, it can also be gentle. This man is just very smart at knowing what you prefer, whether you want him to be rough or passionate.

– Dacryphilia. Sorry, but he likes it. Not in the sense that you are forced, or that he is excited to see you cry over sad things. He just likes the idea that you're crying for something good. Whether it was because he fucked you so well, or because of a gift he gave you and you were very moved :((

– Call you mommy. It happened once, he said it so quietly that you almost didn't hear it. He feels so good with you, it's almost the comfort of a mother for him :((

> "Hell— yes mommy, take my dick, um? Let me make you feel good on my dick, let me fuck you so hard..."

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

– He's a homebody - probably his room, or in the living room? Or in the bathroom? Or better yet, anywhere at home? He is in.

– Also, if you go out to some very isolated place - some beach where you are far enough away from people - he will be fucking you there.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

– So he needs your touch. The sight of you could motivate him a lot. Just the sight of your ass in those tight pants could make him want to stroke his dick right now, in front of everyone :(

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

– Any type of Kink involving CNC/abuse/rape. He can't, just the mention of it makes his stomach turn.

– Also, foodplay. He's disgusted by it, he just isn't.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

– He's so good with his fingers. God. Just imagine him with the mask halfway down his face, just his mouth uncovered as he gives you the best oral you could ever have. This man will make you roll your eyes so much that you almost think they wouldn't come back again.

– Or him giving you kisses, from your waist to your clitoris, licking and sucking so greedily, sticking his fingers deep inside you while making the most beautiful sounds you could hear when he feels you squeezing his fingers and cumming on his tongue, your body writhing above him, making you so beautiful and tearful for any touch. ^^

– Or better yet, be his queen and sit on your throne (his face). God, he's going to suck you, lick you, his hands holding your hips in place as he sticks his tongue so deliciously into your pussy while his nose brushes and rubs your sensitive clit.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

– As I said, he is smart at knowing what you want. Do you want affection and being held while you hear whispers of how good you are for him, taking his big dick so well? He will do it. Do you want to be fucked like the good whore you are for him, making you drool and tremble while you cum for the 4th time on his dick? Oh yes he will love doing this.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

– He's kind of a middle-of-the-road guy with this, mainly because it usually involves being in public. If it's really necessary, he's fine with making you roll your eyes in a random bathroom.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

– Nah, he doesn’t like risks. He prefers the comfort and secrecy of his home. But, as I said above, if necessary…

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

– He goes as many rounds as you want, but he himself wouldn't like much more than 2 or 3 rounds. They are long, however. He prefers to make you cum before sinking himself inside your tight pussy :((

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

– He may have one or two toys, but all of them to use on you. Maybe one day you're off work and everyone in the barracks will go out drinking. Unfortunately for you, Simon was a little irritated, and you suffered with the vibrator in your pussy, constantly increasing the speed.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

– He’s not very provocative, really. He may caress you or whisper something in your ear innocently, but he doesn't do it to tease you, he just really enjoys touching you and praising you in the comfort of your home.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

– He will grunt, moan, whisper praises to you, but it's all against your skin. He moans lowly, but it's still moans that make you so wet-

> "Oh God- fuck, you- so tight... keep being a good girl, hm? take my cock..."

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

– Once you were in a kiss so hot that you didn't even realize where you were going. When he went to release you onto the bed, he ended up placing you too far on the edge, which made you almost fall to the floor. You laughed and he fucking bred you <3

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

– Simon has the vibe of a dick that’s not too big but really thick!

– With 6.5 in size and 7 in width, God, it satisfies you a lot.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

– It's not as tall as you might expect it to be. He will want to fuck you all the time, yes, if you take the initiative. Otherwise, only when he really needs you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

– He doesn't sleep so quickly, preferring to stay on guard, watching you sleep. Or else the two of you would stay talking until he finally got sleepy, sleeping cuddled together, with his face buried in your breasts <3

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

The Fight: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: After a weird encounter with your parents and friends, you try to get to the bottom of it even if you don't like the answer.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa

"Anything on your mind?" Melissa asks when you're in your morning session.

"Something weird happened on Friday with my parents." It's Monday so you haven't been to work to ask the girls about it. "I don't think my friends like my parents."

"Why do you say that?"

"Okay, so, my friends agreed to come with me and meet them even though they couldn't stay long. I'd have my boyfriend there but he and my dad don't exactly get along. When they met my friends, I immediately felt uncomfortable. It was coming from them like they didn't feel comfortable around them. My parents were super nice so I'm not sure why they felt like that. They even lied to them about why they had to leave so suddenly."

"Did you ask them about it?"

"I didn't want to embarrass them. I'll ask them when I go to work today."

"Why doesn't Spencer like your dad?"

You sigh and shift in your seat. 

"He thinks they're criminals." You see the look on her face and immediately explain. "Not like that. I guess I mean that he thinks they have ulterior motives. They're foster parents and have always been foster parents. Spencer thinks they're doing something dangerous on the side. I don't know. I don't want to talk to him about that."

"Why is that?"

"I guess I don't want to see my parents being anything other than my parents. They're loving, of course, but they can be scary. My dad, mostly."

"Do you fear them?"

"I never did and never have. My dad has scary qualities, for sure, but I never thought my life was in danger because of them. He's a very stressed man. He has young kids to take care of on top of his job."

"What does he do?"

"He's an independent contractor. He gets odd jobs here and there but it's enough to pay the bills, and it allows my mom to stay at home with the kids."

"Well, if nothing is wrong, then maybe you're allowing that fear you had from prison to project onto your friends and family."

"Yeah, maybe," you sigh.

"Speaking of, how are you feeling about prison?"

"I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. Remember that friend I told you about? The one that was falsely accused? I got her released. I worked with my team on a case that just so happened to be hers. We gathered evidence that got her released."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Like my old self again," you smile sheepishly.

"How is the IRT coming along?"

"Believe it or not, I'm not having nightmares as much as before. The only nightmares are mainly about the rape and the birth."

"That's to be expected coming from such a young age. Trauma like that doesn't go away overnight."

"Apparently, it doesn't go away after sixteen years either."

Melissa closes her notebook with a smile.

"I do have to say, I'm impressed with your progress. You look better."

"I feel better," you smile.

After your session, you head straight to the airport where the jet is waiting. Hotch got in contact with an old friend with a case in San Francisco. The Red Cell as they like to call themselves are a group of FBI agents, and they've been tracking a case that is three years old. Two years ago, a dead man turned up in Presidio Park with a massive amount of blunt-force trauma, defensive wounds, and a single gunshot wound to the back of the head. Over the next three days after that, three more victims with the same MO turned up. After that, nothing.

Until a year ago when the exact same thing happened--one dead male, badly beaten, and shot execution style. Three more dead men followed that three days after. Nothing happened after that until last night when another body turned up in the exact same style as the others which means the Red Cell has three days to find the unsub before he's lost for an entire year.

The leader of the Red Cell, Sam Cooper, thinks there are parallel murders linked to the cases. Two years ago after the murders stopped, a single dad and his fifteen-year-old brunette daughter were found dead in their car. Last year after the murders stopped, another dad and his daughter were found dead.

Hotch doesn't think both cases are related but Sam does. He'd like for your team to work the bodies in Presidio Park while the Red Cell works the theory on the fathers and daughters. If Sam is right then one half of the case solves the other half. The only thing is that Sam asked Strauss about doing this and she said no, but that doesn't mean he is going to listen to her. If he's wrong about this and the two cases aren't connected, then Strauss will have his ass and his job.

Still, Sam is dead set on figuring this out with or without Hotch's help. Luckily, Hotch has never been a fan of how Strauss handles things which is why you went straight to the plane instead of back to the office after your morning session.

"What do we know about the past years' victims?" Rossi asks.

"The Tenderloin District has a high concentration of drug addicts and homeless people. All the victims have been transients," Spencer says.

"So, this unsub is choosing easy targets that won't be missed. He's not concerned with the challenge of the hunt. All these victims are part of a larger plan which he executes in the same few days every year."

"Reid, did you find any significance to the dates?" Hotch asks.

"Nothing historical. It's gotta be personal for the unsub."

"JJ, you and Reid hit the San Francisco PD. Rossi, Y/N, and Prentiss go to the dump site. Morgan and I will go to the coroner's office. Nobody should expect to get a lot of sleep for the next three days."

"What about Cooper's team? You said he had a theory," Rossi says.

"He believes that whoever is murdering these homeless men is also abducting fathers and daughters and killing them once the transients are disposed of."

"Why isn't his team on the jet now?" Emily asks.

"Because the director wouldn't authorize them to join the investigation."

"They're working against the director's orders?"

"Let's not focus on that. We need to concentrate on the dead men abducted from the Tenderloin. Cooper's team can help determine if there's a missing father and daughter, and whether it's connected to our case."

"Or you could get in serious hot water if the director thinks you're helping to defy her," Emily says.

"No, Hotch is right," Rossi says. "I've known Sam Cooper for twenty years, and I've never seen him defy an order. If he feels this strongly about a hunch, we need to help him however we can."

So, how do you conjure victims of a crime that might not have been committed out of thin air in a major American city? San Francisco has a population of eight hundred thousand people with half of them males. Forty-five percent of the population is white so that leaves about three hundred and sixty thousand people. If the team searches for girls from thirteen to eighteen, narrows it some more to brunettes, and narrows that down to their fathers who haven't shown up to work, then maybe the Red Cell might be able to find the missing family before they are killed.

All the dump sites including the most recent murder have been scoped out by you, Rossi, and Prentiss. Every single dump site has been isolated like the unsub avoids the main paths and never dumps them in lightened areas. In order to get the best location, he'd have to study the terrain beforehand which means he's organized and physical enough to haul a body on his own. Every victim was living on the streets so there were no witnesses when he grabbed them. Your guess is that he managed to lure them with the promise of food or drugs. None of them were reported missing which makes it harder to figure out who might be next.

The most recent victim was found at Presidio Park. The ME determined that if he hadn't been shot in the head, then he would have died from internal bleeding. Not only was the victim shot, but there is powder residue in his skull which means he had to have been subdued when he was shot. It doesn't make sense. He got abducted off the streets quietly enough that there were no witnesses, but then he fights for his life only for the unsub to shoot him execution style. What the hell is he doing with these men?

The Red Cell looked into potential missing girls and talked to over two hundred middle schools. There have been a lot of absent girls but not a lot of absent fathers. Those who were absent were cross-referenced with their yearbook photos to see who were brunettes. They came up with a young girl named Jane McBride who is fourteen. She didn't show up for school yesterday or this morning, and her dad, Ben, hasn't been at his contracting company for the last two days.

You, Hotch, and Sam head over to Jane's mother's house to talk to her. They might not be the couple you're looking for but it's as good a start as any. Hotch parks and all three of you get out of the car. You walk across the street and stop in front of Sarah McBride's house, knocking on her door.

"Mrs. Mcbride? I'm Agent Hotchner with the FBI. This is Agent Cooper and Agent Y/N. We're here to determine whether your husband and your daughter are missing."

"Don't," she gasps. You can feel the panic come off her in waves. "Just get inside, please. Hurry." All three of you rush inside with her permission. She closes the door and leans against it with a pained look on her face. "Oh, God."

"Sarah?" you ask.

"You just got my family murdered."

"What do you mean?"

She pushes off the door and walks to the living room where her TV is. She puts a disc into the DVD player and turns it on. On the screen is the first victim tied to a chair. He is struggling against the binds but nothing will protect him against the gun in the frame. The unsub is holding it but he doesn't give any indication of who he is. He shoots the victim in the head and Sarah looks away from the video painfully.

"That's the first victim from the park," Hotch mumbles.

"The man on the phone said he'd kill Ben and Jane if I brought in the police. He said that if I needed proof, I should check my front porch. When I did, this was there."

"Oh, he's careful. There's nothing to distinguish him or his location," Sam says.

He walks over to the DVD player and removes the disc with a tissue to avoid his fingerprints on it.

"Were there any other instructions?"

"No. He said he'd call with more. Do you think he's watching? I mean, is he going to kill them?"

"The video was shot by a camera on a tripod which means he probably doesn't have a partner. It would be almost impossible for him to take your family prisoner and do surveillance simultaneously."

"He's done this before?" You nod silently. "Why didn't someone come forward after to say what happened?"

"He doesn't leave anybody with knowledge alive. We'll post an agent here to keep you safe. Can you excuse us for a moment?" You, Hotch, and Sam leave her house to talk on the street. "Cooper, listen. Your theory's right. We know he's killing homeless men as well as fathers and daughters, but let us work it. If you go back to DC now, the director won't know that you ignored her order."

"Look, I know you're sticking your neck out on this thing for me. I understand. I don't... I'm not trying to..."

"This isn't about me. I want to protect you."

Sam takes out his wallet and pulls a picture from it.

"Do you remember him?"

"Holby Holme. Of course."

"Do you remember we got that confession for those five child murders? We all had that gut feeling. We knew he wasn't good for all of them. The preference was too varied. Local cops shut the investigation down. The FBI told us to get our asses back home."

"I remember," Hotch nods.

"Where were you when you heard they caught that second killer dumping this boy's body?"

"I was in Denver working a new case. You?"

"I wasn't on anything yet. I could have still been there. I won't ignore my gut again. I don't care what it costs me."

Hotch sighs. "Okay. My people will be on the record, and we'll use yours to double manpower."

Sam steps off to the side for a quick breather, and you tap Hotch's shoulder shyly. You've been wanting to say this to him for a while now and this is your opportunity to do so.

"Listen, Hotch, I just want to say I'm sorry for how I've been these past few months. I wasn't in my right mind but that's no excuse. I turned my back on people I needed and shut them out when they tried to help. You were one of them. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. You were going through something traumatic. It's okay."

"No, it isn't. I'm going to do better and be better for this team. I'll prove to you that I'm not going to let you down."

"I have no doubts," he smiles. It's amazing how much of a support system you have here with your team. Hotch is understanding when he needs to be and that means more to you than he realizes. His phone rings and he answers it. "Hotchner. ... Where? ... Okay." He hangs up. "They found another body." He turns to you. "Prentiss and Agent Rawson are already on it. Join them."

"Okay," you nod.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[badgalsasuke]

Fujoshis fetishize gay men?

So this is more of an opinion essay/think piece on the never ending discourse regarding whether fujoshis fetishize gay men or not.

TW: discussions of rape and other forms of sexual assault. Crude language too.

First things first, let's define what is a fujoshi. The word fujoshi, which literally means ‘rotten’ and connotes the presumed, perversions of women who fantasize about male-male eroticism (Pagliassotti, 2013) are also widely considered to be heterosexual women who seek erotic content of homosexual men to fulfill their own sexual fantasies through a different lense, one that by removing the female character found in heterosexual romances, allows women to indulge in "perverted" writing without feeling the urge to condemn the text that'd otherwise happen if it was a fictional woman going through these scenarios.

Think of the amount of BL works depicting rape, kidnapping, sexual acts with dubious consent, physical assault such as choking or slapping and other forms of violence. In BL works these acts tend to be presented as desirable. The bottom, who is usually the one subjected to this violence, will say no to these acts but the top will ignore the pleads because he knows deep down the bottom desires what is happening to him. There lies the fantasy.

Under patriarchy women have a deeply complicated relationship with sex. As a woman you can exist as either the whore or the madonna. Women who enjoy sex proudly and loudly are quickly labelled as whores and thus degraded by both men and other women, becoming outcasts of society; for women sexuality is shameful and must be hidden at all costs but this of course, doesn't stop women from having sexual desires and urges. This creates a very interesting phenomenon; you want to mantain your respectability as a woman because you're not like one of those sluts that actively seek to be degraded through sex and penetration (all sex is degrading when you're penetrated, that is the patriarchal view of sex), but you still desire to be touched and feel physical pleasure so women end up developing "taboo" sexual fantasies, acts that normally you would be disgusted at, except in the privacy of your mind.

Naturally, the erotic content aimed at women consists for the the most part of a woman forced or coerced into sexual acts that she deep downs know she enjoys and actually wants. You cannot be a slut this way, you did not open your legs for a man he did it! her forced you! you didn't want to do the things he made you do because you're so pure you could have not thought about them in the first place! but he still made you reach an orgasm, didn't he? Women become passive agents during sex to avoid the stigmatization of slutshaming.

This of course is a reproduction of rape culture in media and is the reason why so many women became detractors of heterosexual erotica. That's where BL comes into question; take the female character out of the equation and instead insert a male character with a preference for penetration and have him go through the same stuff, bonus points if he's very feminine looking. The character is still being assaulted and violated but by making him a man instead of a woman you distance him from the female audience thus minimazing the guilt and shame women'd get from reading such stories.

It's no surprise that these stories have become so popular among women, they have the erotic taboo elements so many fantasize about while making sure women don't see themselves directly in the abuse.

This is the issue that gay men in real life have with fujoshis and BL as a whole. And I get it.

It's understandable why gay men find unappealing the idea of being used as self-inserts put through grueling scenarios to fulfill somebody else's sexual fantasies and that somebody else being someone that will never have to go through the struggles of a gay person will, similar to lesbians not liking being objectified in porn by straight men for the pleasure of other straight men.

There's other cases of marginalized communities being used as some type of doll for sexual scenarios, for example black men who are often fetishized over their penises by white people to the point there's a whole porn category for it: "my wife tries a BBC in front of me", "Twink destroyed by a BBC", "Sucking a BBC for the first time", and many more titles likes that in every porn site you can find. Asian women are also fetishized by westerners, they're attributed naivety and innocence traits and are portrayed as naturally submissive to fulfill a borderline pedophilic fantasy. Latinos deal with fetishization too, as a Mexican myself I can attest that latinas and latinos have been painted as oversexual beings that always want to have sex and are always down to have sex with anyone available.

All this fetishization leads to dehumanization of the group you're protraying in your erotic works or media so of course it will have its detractors.

So yes, I can acknowledge the feelings of gay men regarding certain BL stories. Those certain stories definitely dominate the BL market but here's where I have to say those are not the only type of stories you can find in BL and that's not fully what the term fujoshi encompasses.

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that fujoshis are considered to be mostly straight women. I think that is an unfair generalization to make, there's also queer women and trans people, both men and women, that proclaim themselves as fujoshis who have found a safe space in BL fan communities to explore sexuality hand in hand with GL content and communities. After all BL is still queer content that can be and is enjoyed by queer people.

Aditionally, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with straight women enjoying queer content. In the same way queer people can enjoy media depicting heterosexual romance I believe straight people can also enjoy queer media. There's a difference between a someone who's fetishizing a group of people and someone who's engaging with gay media like they would for any other type of media. I do find it to be a dangerous path to act like it's wrong for heterosexual people to enjoy queer media and push them away from it, queer media should be consumed as much as straight media.

This aversion to straight women who enjoy mlm stories has led to shippers of mlm pairings from media that's not sold as BL (Naruto, JJK, etc.) to frantically trying to prove they're not a straight girl. Again, it defitnitely needs to be told that not everyone who ships mlm is a straight girl, these are still queer spaces occupied by queer people, however there's still nothing wrong if you're a straight girl that ships mlm because anyone can (or should be able to) notice queer subtext, which leads to my next point.

When it comes to online discourse surrounding fujoshis it's always presumed that mlm ships from non-bl works came to be because a silly horny straight girl saw two boys breathe next to each other and decided they would look hot together regardless of how they're actually written in their respective canon works, I'm sure there's definitely some mlm ships out there that abide by these standards but not all of them do. I've noticed that when it comes to mlm ships that aren't endgame but have actual homoromantic writing in their canon work homophobes tend to weaponize the term fujoshi against its shippers, hence the frantic need in so many mlm shippers to prove that they're not the stereotypical fujoshi.

I believe that is the harmful fujoshi stereotype here, not that straight girls like to ship boys with other boys but that the shipping is shallow. There is this assumption that no one takes homoromantic and homoerotic writing seriously and everybody is just here for the shits and giggles, which I find quite frankly offensive. It's anti-intellectualism to pretend there's no place for interpretations through queer lenses of any type of media.

As a SNS shipper I can guarantee everybody that's not in the Naruto fandom that shippers in this community take queer analyses and readings of the manga seriously here. Sure, some people joined because they thought both Naruto and Sasuke looked cute together or because they accidentally kissed and presumed that moment to be fujoshi fanservice but once they're in they start seeing all the queer writing in the actual manga. SNS isn't the only ship where this occurs.

SNS shippers care about the writing of the manga and its characters perhaps more than any other subfandom in the fandom, to the point several shippers were able to predict what was gonna happen in the manga years before it actually happened.

On top of all that we have endless metas, masterposts, essays and manifestos that show SNS shippers having such deep understading of Kishimoto's writing and the characters he's created. SNS fanworks have dialogues that are exactly what the characters would actually say, in the case of By My Side even the panels are the same, you can read the full doujinshi here. For more examples of other doujinshi predicting manga chapters click here.

Fetishizers can't predict the writing of a piece of work because they wouldn't care about the writing in the first place, they're just here to see two guys suck each other off.

So when the term fujoshi is weaponized by het!shippers towards mlm shippers (not just SNS shippers) I find what they're actually trying to do is shut down any and every queer reading of media and to paint all shippers as shallow & mindlessly horny morons in an attempt to delegitimize us and our arguments. You know how it goes "why does everything have to be gay? why can't they just be friends? y'all always turn everything gay". In some cases they take it a step further and start accusing mlm shippers of supporting incest to the point they've even created the term "pseudo-incest" that supposedly represents two men with no blood relation but have such a close relationship they could be brothers (so basically, not incest). What is funny is that this term is exclusively reserved for mlm ships, you'll never hear anyone use it for a f/m ship where both characters have refered to each other as siblings even if they don't have blood relation. Textbook homophobia.

Queer and straight people can spot queer subtext (that sometimes isn't subtext but actual text), this does not make them fetishizers, to imply such to silence their analyses is homophobic.

So, if you're a straight girl who noticed the queer subtext of any media then don't be ashamed or scared of it because you liked it, don't let the homophobes corner you, *you* are the one who understood the text. And if you're a queer person then defend your stance even more proudly, don't be one of those pick-me gays that go "well, I'm gay/bi and I don't see it as gay" just because they want acceptance from the homophobes. Inquire, question the status quo, look deeper into the meaning of things, I promise you once you spot the first sign of gayness you will find more layers to it.

Finally, regarding the explicit sexual content in gay media:

Y'all have very weird opinions on bottoming. I already posted about it here. But basically y'all need to stop seeing the bottom as the girl of the relationship and need to stop seeing being penetrated as an act of humilliation. I know some people like when the traditional top/bottom dynamic is subverted (I do too!) y'know when they make the top shorter than the bottom, or the top is the feminine one or stuff like that but you gotta keep in mind that no matter how they look, they're still both men so it's still a gay ship, the bottom being a feminine man doesn't make him a girl, that's still a man.

Likewise, there's nothing wrong with explicit sexual content. Over the past couple years people have taken this weird almost puritanical stance on sex scenes not just of gay media but all media where they just want them to not be included at all and it's just bizarre, there's nothing wrong with sex (and no, you're not being oppressed or traumatized by a movie because it has sex scenes my god).

Personally, I will always defend sex scenes in gay media. Give me more The Handmaiden idgaf. Gay sex has been taboo, criminalized and hidden for decades, it should now be CELEBRATED and SHOWCASED as the act of love it is as much as straight sex. Furthermore, you don't have to choose one or the other when it comes to gay media that's sexual and the one that keeps its rating PG-13. You can have both, you should fight and demand to have both, you can have your Heartstopper and your Interview With The Vampire. I really don't like when some people go "finally a show where the gays aren't always f*cking" I sense sinister vibes...

This might be perhaps a hot take but I also don't think we should shy away from queer stories that depict sexual abuse either. I understand that they can be triggering for some people but this should not lead to censorship which can be quite arbitrary and cause the persecution of creatives that wish to explore sexulity beyond the confines of what's "proper" or "adequate".

Oh also, maybe we shouldn’t generalize the entire BL industry as an industry that only produces “problematic” stories, there’s a lot of variety out there and it’s actually really easy to find. But the problematic stories should still exist, again I'm not calling for censorship but rather a different aproach to our engagement with these stories.

In conclusion, some fujoshis definitely have weird behaviours towards actual gay men and the way they choose to depict them in their works but also the term fujoshi has been weaponized to silence queer readings of media and art by homophobes, the two can co-exist.

Reference:

Pagliassotti Dru., Boys’ Love manga special section, Journal of Graphic Novels and Comics (2013)

[novashelby]

Nova Thoughts: You can't censor art...

Not even a little.

TW: mention of rape, murder, incest, abuse, molestation, etc.

I just read a post, but I didn't want to comment directly on it because I respect the opinions of the people I follow. What we write does not define who we are morally. You cannot force someone to purify or censor their work, and it really is not up to anyone to judge others for what they write. Even if you don't agree with it. You like horror where people are getting brutally murdered, but you aren't fine with other vile things like non-con, incest, abuse, and so on? Okay. Those are all awful things. So, where do we do we draw the line? Okay, we have a group who doesn't like non-con, so we collectively decide no more non-con. Non-con is gone. What's next? Okay, people decide they no longer like incest. As a group, we decide no more incest. So, we got rid of incest and non-con, what is next? Where is the line? Murder is bad! Okay, no more murder. What's next? Abuse? No more abuse in writing. Do you see my point? These lines are tricky. You can't "censor just a little" because there is no such thing. Of course you can argue in published books, movies, tv, there are measurements of censorship. Of course, and I have my own thoughts with that. However, there are still streams where those uncensored versions can exist. But I'm talking about fandom specifically. We, especially in fandom, should not dictate what people write or read. It is not our job to police, shun, censor, or bully people for their media consumption. It is writing. It is fictional. It is fake. Therefore, it does not HARM REAL PEOPLE. No writer should ever have to justify or feel bad for what they write. Instead, it should be common sense that what we write and/consume-LEGALLY does not define our actual beliefs, morals, and feelings. Human sexuality is complicated. While rape and incest are not kinks/fetishes, they are fantasies. Which, guess what, exist all in the realm of sexuality. Want to know something else? People can have sexual fantasies without actually wanting to execute them or have them happen to them. For example, I admittedly have a rape fantasy. Yes, me, someone who has been a victim of rape and molestation 3x in her life. Just because I have the fantasy of being in that position, does not mean I actually want to be raped. Make sense? Actual rape and incest are absolutely disgusting, vile things. Playing out fantasies, safely and consensually, does no harm. For example, CNC is the kink for rape play. That's what it is. It is a consensual act that allows a group of consenting adults to safely and consensually play out a fantasy. CNC has to exist in that realm because real people are involved. That being said, in writing, it is all fiction. Those people are not actually involved. I can write Tommy Shelby brutally tearing Y/N's legs open. A. Tommy Shelby is not a real person...he doesn't give a fuck because he isn't real. B. Y/N isn't actually getting raped in a real situation. HARMS NO ONE. Now, this isn't really incest and I personally am not fond of that theme myself, but I could even write John Shelby fucking my OC Evie Shelby(Adopted niece), if I wanted. Why? John Shelby isn't real and Evie isn't real. Harms no one.

All this to say, stop calling for censorship. Stop trying to dictate what others write just because you don't like it. No one has to justify themselves to you. But hey, you don't have to justify yourself for blocking or not reading certain material. We all curate our safe spaces. If certain themes make you uncomfortable, I 100% understand you. I get it. I respect that. Just as I have the right to write whatever the fuck I want, you have the right to ignore whatever you don't like. But just because non-con make you uncomfortable, doesn't mean NO ONE should be allowed to write it because it's "wrong". In real life circumstances, they are wrong, awful, vile. However, fictional writing, it is not real.

Happy reading and writing, and put the proper warnings on your fucking shit!

Good day.

[weedle-testaburger]

before i forget them, i feel like documenting The Dumbest Things In Joker 2 (imho)

the arkham guards whistle when the saints go marching in during the first couple of scenes, so why do the inmates adopt it as an anthem rather than any of the songs arthur and lee were singing?

speaking of lee, a) why do they insist on calling her that instead of harley or harleen and b) it was dumb af that they made her an inmate at arkham instead of a psychotherapist there

i can't believe suicide squad (2016) genuinely gets more right about the joker and harley's relationship than this did. i mean ffs arthur says he can't live without harley, the joker sees her as disposable

the musical numbers are a basically random mix of actually happening and in arthur's head and they're the exact same level of absurd

harvey dent's case for the prosecution is that arthur is sane and should be executed. he has an entire lifetime of psychiatric disturbances and your argument hinges on trying to prove he doesn't have did specifically, there's plenty of other mental health conditions that could make him unable to understand his actions

also arthur is interred in arkham asylum FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE, it's in the name harvey!

arthur does a tv interview with this prominent journalist where he snaps at arthur and arthur launches into a musical number. if he was just throwing larry king snark at arthur it'd be a bit far-fetched but as is it's just absurd

the jury are insanely ott. they literally cheer arthur when he fires his lawyer in the middle of the case (which is, you know, also absurd) and they never address why the fuck the judge didn't call a mistrial, they just say he reluctantly went with it

once he returns to court as joker, he basically pulls the chewbacca defence about a decade early. as i joked to my friend after the movie, 'if the personality don't fit, you must acquit'

you know that infamous interview where zack snyder said 'if i directed a batman movie i'd have him get raped in prison'? they literally did that. how did the last 15 years of everyone dunking on snyder for being an idiotic edgelord in that interview not get through to you people

this forms a big part of the catalyst for arthur deciding to abandon the joker persona and admit his guilt. which kinda implies the arkham guards helped bring him to justice by doing it? i may generally hate when media incorporates rape but at least writers usually know to depict it as a bad thing

while the verdict is read out, arthur's laughing tic starts up and someone from the jury jumps up and tackles him. WHAT FUCKING JURY WOULD EVER BE ALLOWED TO DO THAT EVER

after the car bomb they have a shot of harvey dent showing one side of his face got scarred because of course they had to indicate he'll be two-face even though we know they're never doing a sequel to this trash

arthur literally survives the courthouse being bombed by his supporters and somehow isn't sent straight to the electric chair after he gets recaptured despite being found guilty on all charges

instead, they send him back to arkham and have one of the other inmates he's been friends with stab him (with a reprise of the 'get what you fucking deserve' thing) and kill him like that

i think the implication is arthur fleck is basically like jerome and jeremiah valeska from gotham where he's meant to be an inspiration to the eventual Real Joker. and in that case where the fuck does that leave harley?

[xjulixred45x]

I was reading some Greek mythology and I was wondering what are some hades charecters (Theseus, asterius, Hippolytus, zagreus) feelings towards Hippolytus stepmother Phaedra? As well as where is she in the story of hades. Is she in elysium?

Oh no, Phraeda is DEFINITELY in Asphodel.

She did nothing relevant in her life, and while she did do something bad like lying about what Hippolytus supposedly did to her, it was really the only bad thing. So she didn't make it to Tartarus. So fortunately Hippolytus doesn't have to see her face.

Context for those who don't know about the myth, she (Phreada) was in love with Hippolytus, she tried to seduce him and when he rejected her, she committed suicide. Of course, not without leaving a note that BLAMED Hippolytus for this, saying that he had raped her. All this while she was married TO THESEUS. HIPPOLYTUS WAS HER STEPSON.

Obviously Hippolytus is the one who holds the most resentment, not only because of what her lie caused, but because it caused him great trauma related to women. Hippolytus grew up without a mother, so he expected Phreada to be that kind of figure for him, and her only seeing him as a potential lover (WITH HIS FATHER RIGHT THERE) felt like a betrayal.

Hippolytus still has a hard time connecting with women because of what Phreada did. And while you could say that she regrets what happened, it's not enough. She was under the influence of Aphrodite when this happened, so while we could argue that she had no control over herself, at the same time it was SHE who decided to blame Hippolytus.

That's why Hippolytus still hates her with a fervor. And if he sees her, he'll most likely impale her.

Theseus is second on the resentment scale, again, it was a betrayal for him. Not only because his wife decided that he wasn't enough (something that had him already unsure of before) but because she decided to go after his SON.

Although, to be fair, Theseus doesn't hate Phreada any more than he despises having sunk so low as to believe her at the time. He was so desperate for her validation, to feel young again, that he chose to believe her over his son. And he'll always hate her( and himself) for it.

Theseus and Phreada would definitely act like those divorced people who can't stand the sight of each other. Theseus can't stand the sight of her. Not after what she did. And he'll get pretty aggressive if Phreada tries to get close to Hippolytus.

She's already hurt him in life, why does she want to hurt him more in death?

It takes Asterius a while to find out about her, but as soon as he finds out he joins the Phreada Hate Squad. He thinks Phreada's attitude, whether she's been under Aphrodite's influence or not, is deplorable.

Similar to Theseus, he makes sure to prevent any posible interaction between the Woman and Hippolytus. As well as being the one who Hippolytus talks about His feelings about the whole situation.

At least Asterius tries to be more civil about his distaste for the woman. He's curt, but not explicitly violent.

Zagreus is obviously the last to meet Phreada, though that doesn't mean he's not mad at her for what she did.

He's likely to run into her from time to time in Asphodel, and Phreada, knowing that he's "friends" with Hippolytus, tries to get messages across to him. Which are always the same. Regret. Guilt. Seeking forgiveness.

Zagreus tries to understand and empathize with mortals, but in this situation he just can't see Phreada as anything other than a bad person.

He's the most polite to her, but that doesn't mean he doesn't tell her the truth (she's only seeking Hippolytus' forgiveness to feel good about herself).

At least the dislike of Phreada is something they all have in common.

________

(ESPAÑOL)

oh no, Phraeda DEFINITIVAMENTE esta en Asphodel.

ella no hizo nada relevante en su vida, y si bien hizo algo malo como haber mentido sobre lo que Hipolito supuestamente le hizo, realmente fue lo unico malo. por lo que no llego hasta el Tártaro. asi que afortunadamente Hipolito no tiene que verle la cara.

contexto para quienes no sepan del mito, ella (Phreada) estaba enamorada de Hipólito, trato de seducirlo y cuando el la rechazo, ella se suicidó. eso si, no sin dejar una nota que CULPABA a Hipólito de esto, diciendo que el la habia violado. todo esto mientras ella estaba casada CON TESEO. HIPOLITO ERA SU HIJASTRO.

obviamente Hipólito es quien mas resentimiento guarda, no solo por lo que ocaciono su mentira, sino porque esto le genero un gran trauma relacionado a las mujeres. Hipolito crecio sin una madre, por lo que esperaba que Phreada fuera una figura de ese estilo para el, y que solo lo viera como un posible amante (CON SU PADRE JUSTO AHI) se sintio como una traicion.

Hipolito sigue teniendo dificultades para relacionarse con mujeres gracias a lo que Phraeda hizo. y si bien podrías decir que ella se arrepiente de lo ocurrido, no es lo suficiente. ella estaba bajo la influencia de Afrodita cuando esto paso, por lo que si bien podriamos argumentar que no tenía control sobre si misma, al mismo tiempo fue ELLA quien decidio hecharle la culpa a Hipolito.

es por eso que Hipólito aun la odia con fervor. y si la ve, lo mas probable es que la empale.

Teseo va segundo en la escala del rencor, de nuevo, fue una traicion para el. no solo porque su esposa haya decido que el no era suficiente (cosa que ya lo tenia inseguro antes) sino que decidiera ir tras su HIJO.

aunque, siendo justos, Teseo no odia a Phreada mas de lo que desprecia haber caido tan bajo como para creerle en su momento. el estaba tan desesperado por su validacion, por sentirse joven de nuevo, que prefirio creerle a ella por encima de su hijo. y siempre va a odiarse por eso.

Teseo y Phreada definitivamente actuarian como esos señores divorciados que no pueden soportar verse. Teseo no puede soportar verla. no después de lo que hizo. y se pondra bastante agresivo si Pheada trata de acercarse a Hipólito.

ella ya lo lastimo en vida ¿porque quiere lastimarlo más en muerte?

a Asterius le toma un tiempo saber sobre ella, pero en cuanto se entera se une al Phreada Hate Squad. cree que la actitud de Phraeda, habiendo estado bajo influencia de Afrodita o no, es deplorable.

Al igual que Teseo, se encarga de evitar cualquier posible interacción entre la Mujer e Hipólito, además de ser él a quien Hipólito le habla de sus sentimientos sobre toda la situación.

al menos Asterius trata de ser mas civilizado con respecto a su desagrado por la mujer. es cortante, pero no explícitamente violento.

Zagreus obviamente es el ultimo en conocer a Phreada, aunque eso no significa que le enoje menls saber lo que hizo.

es probable que se tope con ella de vez en cuando en Asphodel, y Phreada, sabiendo que el es "amigo" de Hipolito, trata de que le haga llegar mensajes. los cuales son siempre los mismos. arrepentimiento. culpa. busca de perdon.

Zagreus trata de entender y empatizar con los mortales, pero en esta situación simplemente no puede ver a Phreada como algo mas que una mala persona.

es el mas educado con ella, pero eso no quiere decir que no le diga sus verdades a la cara (que solo busca el perdon de Hipólito para sentirse bien consigo misma).

al menos el desagrado hacia Phreada es slgo que todos tienen en común.

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

Hi there! Of course l'd be willing to share my knowledge ^.^ To answer your first question, I paraphrased what Axl had said in a magazine article from the '90s, and, dare I say, he did use the word perfect. Unfortunately, I can't find the exact quote since I deleted my screenshots a few days ago. But if I come across it again l'll share it. Without further ado, let’s get into it!

Why did he use the word perfect? Probably because he saw Stephanie as an ideal partner who was in his league. In his eyes, she must've been everything he was looking for - she was pretty, intellectual, mature, and probably shared some of the same values as him. I don't see her as "perfect" just because she cheated on him, and other fans don't either, but he did. It's different when you view a relationship on the sidelines as opposed to being in one yourself. You get strong human emotions that cloud logical thinking which makes it difficult to change the relationship you're in, despite what your friends tell you. Axl did everything in his power to make it work out with Stephanie. However, it was her who didn't want to pursue any further interest in him.

In an interview with Beta, Axl's assistant, she shares some insight about Axl's relationship after Stephanie left him:

"He wanted to do everything right and he thought he was doing everything right. He took this relationship very seriously. She practically killed him. When the band finished, he thought he would have his family, he would get married, and have children. He thought this would be the second part of his life, he had earned enough money, and now he wanted to dedicate his time to a family. His dream was to have a family, children, and everything he never had."

Stephanie had a son named Dylan and Axl loved Dylan, he treated Dylan like his own son. Axl thought they could've been the perfect family - something he had wanted ever since Erin Everly entered his life. I think it was his goal to strive for that. He changed his ways by not treating Stephanie how he treated Erin. And he was so close to having that component fulfilled.

As for the rape charges...those are a little tricky. The first one happened with Michelle Rhodes in 1983 when she was 15. Quick note: Michelle Rhodes is not the same woman from the song, My Michelle.

Michelle first saw Axl at his workplace when she was 14 at Tower Video - that was right across the street from Tower Records. She claims, when she first saw him, that, "I had this past life, crazy, wild vision. I felt like I had known him forever. I felt like I was immediately in love...I got really dizzy. I started getting visions of other lifetimes. I felt like I was on speed and acid at the same time and it felt really bizarre. I was uneasy, panicked. I didn't want him to see me." She ran out of the place and didn't formally meet him until a year later when he worked as a doorman at The Lipstick Fix. Her 14 year old self believed that, if her relationship with Axl was meant to be, it would be a "magical" thing for them to "come together" in the future. And that's exactly what happened.

One of the things I find problematic here is she doesn't go into any specific detail on what kind of past life visions she saw. It's all vague. Was this just an intense infatuation? It could've been. Axl was a very good looking man. Her desires for him might've been so intense that she just wanted to suck his dick right then and there. I mean, who wouldn't? This is only my interpretation. It's a pretty wild claim for her to make, but I also can't deny how she was feeling in the spur of the moment.

Michelle was a runaway child who had a few friends as call girls. Through Michelle's perspective, she met Axl and became pregnant, only to suffer a miscarriage. This part kind of resembles Erin's story since she also suffered a miscarriage and Axl was upset about it. In December of 1985, days after Michelle's miscarriage, Axl, along with his roadie and two other men, attacked Michelle at the band's rehearsal space.

After Axl raped and assaulted her, he picked up her "limp, bruised, and bloody body" and threw her out in the parking lot like a "piece of trash." She didn't know Axl was capable of doing this to her and she thought he loved her. Michelle says she was pressured by the other band members to not take Axl to court while he was hiding from the police (since the band was gonna get signed to a record label). One of the members came to her house and promised that Axl would get "mental help" and not hurt other girls.

Axl's side of the story is vastly different. He claims he was having sex with her one night. Then, when they were sleeping together, she went "crazy" and ran off into the streets, naked, "not remembering her own name." Michelle might've been strung out on drugs.

To me, it seems Michelle is trying to rewrite history in a similar fashion how Judyth Vary Baker is rewriting history about Lee Harvey Oswald with the JFK assassination (if you'd like more details on that, lemme know). I'm not trying to say her story is false, there's just lots of skepticism behind her case, and unanswered questions. For instance, why didn't she take him to court in the '90s when Erin and Stephanie did? The band already achieved their dream of becoming big, so what was stopping Michelle from not taking Axl to court sooner? Why is she doing it now? And why isn't she pinpointing the blame on the other men who assaulted her? Why is she only going after Axl? She says she wants to "hold him accountable" for what he did. But let's be honest...it's been 40 years. It's a little late to hold him accountable for such actions that happened many decades ago.

Moving on to Sheila Kennedy's case. This happened in 1989 at a hotel on Central Park West in New York. Kennedy was a former model who appeared in Penthouse magazines. She says she met Axl at a nightclub and was invited, with another woman, to his hotel. In 2016, Kennedy wrote a memoir called, No One's Pet. In 2021, she appeared in a documentary, Look Away, recounting these experiences.

Her book claims that she was in Axl's bedroom with him, Rikki B., and another woman. They were all gonna have a “mini-orgy” but this wasn't what Kennedy signed up for. After Rikki took off his clothes, Kennedy saw his cock and became scared because it looked "uncomfortably massive." She decided to "go down on him" while Axl was having sex with the other lady. Rikki then wanted to take Kennedy into his own room. She agreed, put on a robe, and the two went into the hallway. Before they reached Rikki's bedroom, they heard Axl screaming, "You're a fucking whore. Get the fuck out of here." Axl might've been mad that Kennedy left him. Rikki warned her to leave, however, it was too late. Here's how the rest of the story unfolded, as mentioned in her book:

Axl sees me and says, "What the fuck are you doing back here?" He grabs me by the back of my head and starts pulling me by the hair...l've fallen to the floor and Axl's dragging me across [it]. The carpet's cutting my legs. He throws me on the bed and picks up my pantyhose and ties my hands behind my back. I'm on the bed, on my stomach. “Just fucking lay there. Don't fucking do anything." I'm crying and bleeding. Axl slams the door and locks it. The other girl is gone. Rikki's in the other room. And I lay there. He fucked me, anally. And I could handle it because he wasn't too big. Weirdly enough, I was okay with this. I had wanted to be with him since the minute l'd first laid eyes on him, and now I was getting him. Once he was done, he untied me and we fucked around some more. I remember going down on him, and sticking my finger in his ass, and he really wanted that, he really got off on that. That's what made him cum. When we were exhausted, he got up next to me and spooned me, and started playing with my hair. "Oh my God. I did so not want to do that. I'm so sorry. I did not want to hurt you, that shouldn't have happened." He went from being an absolute psycho to this spooning, mewling, apologetic child. I was so exhausted that I passed out. We both passed out. Then it was six or seven in the morning. I was awake and he was gone.

The problem with her story is she has changed parts of it over the years. In another interview from 2021, she doesn't mention Rikki being in the room. Instead, she states that it was her, Axl, and the other woman. The reason why Kennedy left Axl's bedroom this time was because she was uncomfortable how "aggressive" Axl was fucking the other chick. The only part in her story that remained consistent was how he grabbed her hair, dragged her across the carpet, tied her hands with pantyhose, and raped her. Even her feelings, when she recounted this experience again in 2021, changed. She said she did not consent to this and that Axl was overpowering her.

She seems to be conflicted about her own thoughts on this situation. First she claims she wanted to fuck Axl, maybe not that kind of way, but she still had him. Then she says she didn't want this to happen at all. Well, which one is it? Was she experiencing both thoughts at the same time? What about Rikki? How come she leaves him out of the story when she's being interviewed a few years later?

Axl's lawyer, Alan S. Gutman, recently said, "Simply put, this incident never happened. Though he doesn't deny the possibility of a fan photo taken in passing, Mr. Rose has no recollection of ever meeting or speaking to the Plaintiff, and has never heard about these fictional allegations prior to today." Axl also claims Kennedy is suing him for money purposes.

Another important thing to note: Kennedy's file to sue, under the Adult Survivors Act, was set to expire that week. Why did she wait until the last minute to sue him like Michelle? Why didn't she do it in the '90s?

Ann Olivarius, a lawyer for Sheila Kennedy, said in a statement: "Like many victims of sexual assault, it has taken Sheila time to come to terms with her experiences and to be able to talk about it fully and openly." That may be true. But it still seems like too much time has passed to handle this case in an appropriate, timely manner.

I wouldn’t worry about the rape charges too much, anon. I understand it can be distressing to hear about them. But Axl has said people lie about him in the papers. And he gets mad about it, not because he wants to control the media his way, but because the stories aren’t truthful. He even said he has a record of not lying. Take that with what you will. That’s why I will take the man’s word when it comes to situations like this. You never know what’s true and not true in printed media. Besides, we weren’t there, so how can we accurately judge these situations? It’s okay to analyze it, but we should never become polarized by it.

Hopefully these answered your questions! 🙏🏻

[the-ginger-is-loose-again]

Ive been thinking about this for a couple of days now, but I made the mistake of looking in the comments section of one of my favorite podcasts's episodes in spotify (Last Podcast on the Left)

The episode in question (Side Stories: Squirrel Stories) was recorded the day before election day and posted the day after, so they discussed the election and it was rather heartbreaking that they were pretty unconcerned because they were so confident that Kamala was going to win. At one point, they spend some time shit talking trump and right wingers, which is pretty par for the course for them

The comments were about 50/50. On one hand, right wingers crying that everyone was so mean to them and how lptol needed to stay out of politics and the other was normal people going "have you ever heard an episode of lpotl before? It's always been political, and always anti nazis" (I'll admit the earliest episodes are a little meh because they are three dudes living in New York in 2011 and like fresh off of 4-chan, but they, for the most, part learn and grow and are really good with the sensitive topics nowadays, not making fun of victums, knowing where in an episode is the time for jokes and where is the time for seriousness, while still being dudes fucking around and having fun doing their podcast together)

My comment is probably not going to pass review, but basically, it was so insane to me that all these guys were just openly showing how little they cared for the show or paid attention to it at all and obviously just liked the edgy impolite aesthetic and they got their wittle fascist fweewings hurt that the show that famously takes pleasure in shit talking right wing criminal dickbags is shit talking their right wing criminal dickbag leader

They literally dropped their The Manhatten Project series over 4th of July in which they talked about how the american people were dragged kicking and screaming into rationing (it wasnt as easy and selfless as it is portrayed now, it wasnt done volunterrily) and every horrific thing that the atomic bombs and later scientists did to the people of Japan and how unnecessary it all was and about the riots and mass rapes that happened IN SAN FRANCISCO on VJ Day (basically all the soldiers who found out they didn't have to go to war because Japan had surrendered went on a massive bender and the police were told not to stop them the first day or so because it was all in good fun, yea it's why they don't talk about vj day a lot and only show us the kissing in NYC photo from V day). Like, if these maga dudes in the comments were correct that lptol was apolitical that series would have been like every other history channel circle jerk about America's Greatness in the war

A handful also called for the return of the host Ben, who had worked on Fox News and had always been the most right leaning of them, but he was removed from the whole network he helped found because it came out he had been abusive to girlfriends for years (a terrifying thing considering he is 6'7") and his alcoholism was so bad he couldn't even function in the last few episodes he was in. It is amazing listening to say the John Wayne Gacy episode then skipping to the Manhattan project, the difference is insane, Henry keeps joking about long pauses and him bringing up stuff theyve already passed and you can tell he is just trying so hard to keep the episode flowing well and bolstering Ben where he can. He always presented as mild mannered and a funny drunk and a gentle giant, until he didn't, and past girlfriends started coming out with the shit he said to them, and you're just like "oh wow, where have I heard this before? Oh, every other right leaning asshole ever?" And don't get me wrong, he was honestly my favorite host at some points, but I am also an adult capable of critical thinking and realizing what he has done doesn't diminish the joy the show has brought me in the past and that his removal was the best thing they could have done so that we can continue enjoying the show going forward. (I also don't need to know every sordid detail of it all, he did what he did, they did what they did, I don't need specifics or more information because I don't actually know any of these people personally, it's not my business if it's not part of their actual business and shows, which a lot of people don't seem to get)

I have always liked that the show goes out of its way to show that serial killers and murderers and cults and all of that come from every political ideology there is, but they also acknowledge how dangerous right wing and conservative ideology is, which has only gotten stronger as a sentiment since Ben left (either as a reaction or because he isnt there to refute it or necause they dont have to be nice as noone in the room is right leaning anymore idk), and anyone who says they need to "stay out of politics" should know they are either advertising how stupid they are or should learn that they aren't going to be able to bully the network into catering to them.

Anyways I'm going to the show in Atlanta in January as a happy birthday to myself, I'm so glad they finally have another southern show, I haven't gotten to see them since they did Charelston in 2021 and it was already the highlight of my decade, so fucking ready, hail gein, hail Satan, love you fuckers

[dojae-huh]

Uncertainty

The brain (psyche) doesn't like to deal with uncertainty. Therefore, it has propensity to look for, invent, believe in all kinds of "answers" to make it "certain'', to mark the case as "everything is clear, I know the truth".

For the same reason, not liking the uncertainty, the brain labels topics as "understood" without actually understanding the subject. People tend to think they are smarter than they are, or that they can have a valid opinion on everything. "What is here to talk about?.."

You can see how many rumours are currently floating on X surrounding Taeil's crimes, how people are ready to think the worst about his personality, paint the blackest scenarios. It is this process of inventing answers or latching on explanations that look believable/attractive. Plus it helps to make everything black and white, to label Taeil as total scum and make the parting with him easier. Make the severence quickly, leave the turmoil of emotions behind, settle in a new world of ot8.

Right now we know only these facts: 1) Taeil is accused of a criminal act of sexual nature, 2) the victim is an adult woman, the details of the case are kept secret to protect her identity and to not affect the integrity of the investigation, 3) Taeil didn't run away, he is cooperating with the police, he wasn't arrested, 4) Taeil is no more a part of NCT, the group consists of 25 members now.

Everything else is speculation. What type of crimes he commited (assault, solicitation, harassment, blackmail), in what state (sober or drunk), for how long, was it the first victim or there were others, etc. - we don't know.

Some can say: "It doesn't matter! A scum is a scum!". It does matter. There is a difference between a crime commited in a drunken state for the first time and a long-lasting, well concealed double-life. The severity and exact kind of the crime matters, as well. As it reflects on Taeil's relationship with the members (were they lied to their whole life, or Taeil has changed for the worse only recently; was he genuine with his love for the members or pretended; what do they feel: betrayal and disgust or dissapointment) and his legacy (is it possible to watch the old content with him, is it possible to listen to the songs with him), as well as self-doubt (was he twofaced this whole time? Am I that bad at judging people, can I trust any idol? Can I trust my bias?).

To resume. Of course you want answers and you want closure. However, the case has just started. There is high chance we will never know the full truth. At least for some time, you will have to accept the uncertainty about Taeil. It's OK to just focus on other members and continue with NCT for now and leave the case on the shelf for another time. Distance oneself. To unpack and process later, when there is more information, or when you yourself will be in a calm state, not being bombarded by the rumours, speculations and hurt from the fandom.

The police is investigating. The victim's claim wasn't dismissed and ignored. Taeil wasn't arrested after a two-month gathering of evidence, so we, at least, can know it wasn't rape and the woman's life wasn't in a direct danger. Taeil is not considered as someone dangerous or who can run away. The police also isn't trying to earn brownie points with this case with the public (make a show out of it). Which also hints at the case not being fit to make an example out of it (I mean the new n-room).

Granted, new evidence may emerge, new victims appear. However, this possibility is a part of "uncertainty". Any scenarios, bad or good, won't help to change that, won't make one version of Taeil or another more real.

Lastly. My brain is also producing ideas, of course, heh. So if you are curious at my take, it's under the cut. Just remember, it is an educated guess, nothing more. Another assumption in the sea of uncertainty.

You know I protected Lucas. And I still believe he didn't deserve what happened to him, and that he has the right for an attempt at his solo career. Yes, many of you vehemently disagree with me. I was never a Lucas' fan, however, the character profile I formed of him and what he was accused of didn't match for me. And we all form opinions based on our own judgement.

In the same way, based on Taeil's relationship with other members I've observed, his reactions, I don't think he led a double life (an idol and a criminal) and outright lied to the members, that he is capable of intentional prolonged deceiving.

And yet, yes, I can imagine him to be a mysoginist (the way Korean men usually are), having a weak moral compass, commiting sexual crimes (the kind I listed earlier: assault, solicitation, harassment, blackmail) and acting like nothing has happened (dissociating or not perceiving what he had done as something serious).

I'm not a psychiatrist, I can't make a diagnosis, don't blindly believe me, however, I do suspect Taeil is neurodivergent. And that his reactions in certain situations can be abnormal or fall under "criminal".

From what I've seen, Taeil often doesn't understand what is really being said to him or ignores it. Nuanced meaning flies over his head (hints, sarcasm). He tends to hyperfixate on things (playing pool the whole night in a foreign city instead of sightseeing, investigating all ways of cooking meat). He feels more comfortable in the company of younger members than being a hyung, making decisions, taking responsibility, acting as an adult. He tends to get lightly agitated quickly. He always insists he is right or something wasn't his fault (I'm not the weakest drinker!).

As I don't know the particulars of the crime, I won't speculate further. And I'm not making excuses for Taeil, just believe his case maybe a bit more nuanced than usual. The police is investigating, and the court will determine the punishment. Part of it Taeil has received already in losing his place in NCT, and his soloist career.

[cobra-creampuff]

may or may not be putting this in tatg (& if i don't maybe i'll make it its own fic) but like. and i know other people have mentioned this, right, about how when one parent is abusive there's no realistic way for the other parent relationship to be all hunky dory or whatever.

and the way jamie talked about her in season one, the way his childhood bedroom is as-was and there's such an abundance of publicity-looking photos on that shrine as compared to personal photos which are all kid photos, etc. we can - if we choose to - assume that there was at least some kind of in between period where jamie and his mom were not as close.

and idk i'm just thinking about the specifics of that in between period and how they both felt about it / their motivations / etc, and how we can also assume - if we choose to - that georgie pretty much knows What Happened wrt james. i mean there's equally as much room to interpret it as jamie didn't tell her exactly what happened in amsterdam specifically but she could tell he didn't have a good time and took him back, or maybe he did tell her exactly what happened and she took him back for the same reason of like overwriting the memory or whatever. like those two are equally canon-supported takes imo.

and tbh i don't think either one of those is more likely than the other, but personally i think the way the vibes feel to me, i err toward the latter. because when jamie told roy he seemed to know like okay this isn't a good experience but it's not that bad and assumed roy thought the prostitute would have had a worse time somehow. so from that we can maybe assume - if we choose to - that he wouldn't really know to hide it from georgie (of course on the other end, we could assume instead he would have felt the feelings without thinking about them and hid because of that even without knowing, but that's not what i'm assuming rn). but we can ALSO assume that since jamie so automatically didn't think roy was talking about him when he said "traumatizing" then.... georgie wouldn't have said as much when he told her.

and like. okay. so maybe she thought if she said the big scary words, if she said "traumatized" if she said "abuse" if she said "rape" that would make it worse. maybe she thought she needed to not make a big deal about it, right, to protect jamie, to not make him even more upset. i know that this is something that people think when faced with this, especially with kids.

but i also know. most of the time. in my experience. that is not the right choice at all. it seems right, and the people doing it absolutely are doing what they think is best and honestly there's not ever going to be much of a "best practice" for this because everyone is affected differently, etc. but in my experience. it's the wrong thing to do.

and it's also kind of a known phenomenon that people don't want to admit their parents were wrong or to hold things against them, especially when they have an understanding that the parent in question was going through their own struggles or surviving their own traumas at the time. buuuuut. not wanting to feel a certain way doesn't actually make you not feel that way. and additionally, not know why you feel a certain way doesn't make you not feel that way. in fact, even not realizing you feel a certain way at all doesn't make you not feel it either!

so. i think jamie was probably really upset with georgie for never saying it. for just trying to help jamie through it by moving past it, instead of ever facing it directly and calling it what it was and impressing upon him how serious it was, how wrong. (and he was also angry about this wrt to teachers, doctors, coaches, etc etc. not ted, even tho it's the same and he should have been, because it was in a pretty messed up spot when ted didn't step in, when he didn't step in again, when he later suggested more of the same just moving right along, and he maybe couldn't feel angry at ted right then whether knowing why or not, these things are sooo complicated, but later probably! later, he might be angry enough to call ted up in america and say hey man. i need to say my piece about this actually.)

and all that shit was true for him - that he didn't realize he felt that way, and if he did he wouldn't know why, and if he did he wouldn't want to - until he got to a better enough and stable enough place that he could work through all that and then have a conflict about it.

but anyway, yeah! so that's part of the reason why they were maybe not totally estranged but definitely strained in season one, maybe for a lot of season two, and however long before canon. (i think i'm headcanoning here that they started rebuilding/healing their relationship around the christmas episode, though i don't remember exactly where that falls in the timeline other than "before wembley".)

and then on the other side! georgie would probably - despite all efforts, and knowing she was being irrational, and knowing it wasn't jamie's fault - would feel a little bit sort of something similar about jamie being ""close"" with james in immediately pre-season one times. like because, he's her son, she loves him so much, and he's supposed to love her too, and he's like hanging out with her abuser. his own abuser too, yes, but! again, feelings don't care about sense. and like, she was never really angry with him, she was never actually disappointed in him like he thought she would be, but there would be this sort of background bitterness that he was (seemingly) choosing to spend time with james and change his behavior to suit him.

it's a really complicated, excessively shitty situation!

but yeah i think probably they never really talk about or even really need to talk about georgie's side of things of feeling shitty about jamie choosing to be around james, because that's totally not his fault and he was suffering for it anyway, and imo that's just one of those "your kids will hurt your feeling sometimes" facts of parenthood type of things. it would simply... pass.

but either in very late canon off-screen, or else post-canon, they absolutely do have to talk about it and let jamie get out that she did him wrong by not saying those words and making a suitably big deal over It All. and like of course he's aware she did what she thought was best and there's no real way she could have known how that would affect him or not, but it is something he has a right to be upset about and have addressed.

anyway all that to say. that's why he's not calling her about his nightmares in tatg. (and also this is at least preeeetttyyy close to my actual canon interpretation of their relationship and why it is the way it is and why it isn't the way it isn't.)