#odysseus was never amoral | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writersrealmbts · 4 years

Text

Con Amore: Part 16/Finale

Bulletproof Melody Sequel

Description: Con Amore– A directive to a musician to perform a selected passage of a composition tenderly, with affectionate emotion, or in a loving manner; an instruction to the player of an instrument meaning ‘with love’ or ‘lovingly’. Three years with all seven of your loves, three years of relative peace. But now everything is threatened as darkness surges from the horizon.

Originally Posted: 06/02/2020

Tags: Superheroes, Ot7

4,026 words

A/N: And here it is, the end of this series.

“Did you really think you stand against me?! Fight the Conservatory?” The dean sneered down at the boys, who were restrained by some students. “You and this half-baked plan?”

The Temple fighters were also restrained.

You hummed softly to stay under the radar, slipping through the crowd unnoticed.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t see this coming? It was so obvious a child could see it. And look at what it has gotten you. You never stood a chance, and now you’ll pay in blood. I should start with the weakest link, shouldn’t I?” Her eyes became reptilian, and it was obvious she was trying to shift.

But you didn’t let her.

She hissed. “What did you do?”

You smirked as the boys just looked at her blankly, not understanding.

“Kill them!” She ordered with a snarl.

None of the students moved.

“What are you doing! Kill them!”

“As if I would allow that to happen,” You finally said from right behind her, finding extreme satisfaction in the way she jumped.

And even more satisfaction from the tinge of fear in her eyes.

You smirked slightly. “Hello again. Did you miss me? I didn’t miss you. Them, yes. Very much.”

“But…you left to have a baby?”

“Me? With a baby? Sounds questionable to me,” You replied with a smirk and a shrug. You casually walked down to the boys, tugging the soldier-students away from your loves. “At ease.”

The puppets relaxed, moving to stand at-ease.

The boys got up, blinking at you in surprise with smiles slowly spreading across their faces.

“Miss me boys?” You asked, then spun on your heel to face Ryoko with a smile. “Now, I suggest you surrender.”

“What did you do to me?”

“Oh, right. That. So, you figured out that I’m a former student, but what you failed to put together was that I’m a former student who has her powers, and remembers my time at the school. I think that should scare you just a bit. Because, also, I tend to find trouble. Ask them, where there’s any sort of trouble, there’s me in the thick of it.” You walked past her casually, taking the weapon her second-in-command was holding. “Thank you, you were making me nervous.”

He just watched you in utter confusion.

“You see, they may have been obvious in their intentions to fight you, but I’ve been preparing this for much longer. The timing was finally right to execute the plan. Granted, it wasn’t in my plan for these guys to come up with such a half-baked plan but they were trying to fight on two fronts,” You explained a little, back among the student-soldiers, who parted for you. “Nadya! That armor really brings out your eyes, you should have one of your robes in that color.”

“This isn’t some sort of reunion—” Ryoko snapped.

You turned back to her. “Oh, I know. I’m about to crush you, like a grape in a winepress. This isn’t a reunion, it’s the last battle to end the war. The last hurrah before you’re forced to surrender. Because you will surrender.”

“What did you do to me?!” She said, more desperate.

“I made you into my puppet,” You answered simply. “Just as you’ve continued the legacy of using the students as puppets. Mindless drones, to live or die as you see fit. You were the perfect candidate. My perfect pawn to rise to the top, so that I can tear the whole tower down from its foundation.”

“I am nobodies puppet!”

“Sure, sure, if we’re talking about nobody in the Odysseus sense.” You looked her up and down, then shrugged. “But you’re not that scary of a cyclops, and I’m not stealing a golden fleece. So, perhaps a better analogy or simile or whatever would be the Trojan horse. You’re the horse.”

“How?”

You evaluated her. “Well, first of all, you should never have tried to tell people that Hummingbird and I are the same people. That was very naughty, sly.”

She looked away.

“How they mixed all three of us together—myself, Athena, and Hummingbird—that was truly inspired. I mean, they almost convinced me, but Athena was pretty indignant. Doesn’t like it when people waste her time.”

“And Hummingbird?”

“Well, we’ve worked together now and then. If you remember, I used to be pretty reclusive. I was kind of acting as a point-person for her. Middle man. She gave me that amulet, the one I gave you, remember?”

She ripped off the amulet like it was poisonous, tossing it away from herself.

You scooped it up, pocketing it. “Thanks. Though, that’s not how I’m controlling you. Do you fear them?”

“Them?”

“The students,” You clarified. “If they were no longer your puppets, would you fear them?”

Her face made it clear that she did, though she was in the middle of saying she wasn’t.

“I said that I knew the right songs to tear this place down,” You murmured. “Have you ever seen Pinocchio?”

Laguz grinned.

“You know, the song he sings. They used it for that super-hero movie, ‘I’ve got no strings, to hold me down,’” You started, then laughed a little. “But you know, that’s not the best part of the song.”

“What is?” Nadya asked helpfully.

“‘I've got no strings, so I have fun, I'm not tied up to anyone, they've got strings, but you can see, there are no strings on me,” You turned toward the students, putting everything into it, using the melody to break the hypnosis, knowing you’d have to improvise that last few lines, “‘You have no strings’, your minds are free, there are no strings on thee.”

It was probably the most dangerous plan you’d ever implemented.

But you were still humming a peace-keeping melody under your breath to keep them from causing a mob.

Her second in command blinked, then looked around, before his eyes widened and he stared up at her in horror.

You hummed another song, gesturing for Nadya’s knights to restrain Ryoko as you approached Nadya, handing over a charm. “That should keep her detained for you.”

“Objections to the Temple taking the building?” Nadya asked, looking to the boys as well.

Tiwaz shook his head. “As long as we can continue monitoring the situation.”

She nodded. “Of course. How long will the calming melody work?”

“Two hours? Give or take twenty minutes depending on their response to leaving the long-term hypnosis.” You turned to watch them carry the former dean away. “I’d keep her location secret from them, though. And your healers will be extra busy.”

“I think we can handle it. You should get those guys out of here, they’ve been working non-stop for the past three days.”

Your gaze snapped to her. “They what?”

She shrugged.

“No wonder that plan was so half-baked, idiots.” You huffed. “Thanks for looking after them.”

“Thank you for looking after my acolytes. Are they still my acolytes?”

You shook your head. “Not as such. They want to still work with you, but also independently. I figured I would talk them into helping my boys out a bit, get their feet wet and then both of us could look out for them and make sure that they didn’t get themselves killed.”

She nodded. “Sounds like a solid plan. How have you been?”

“Cabin fever. It’s a shame that I didn’t get to participate in fighting. Well, other than the two guards I encountered on the fifteenth floor in the western wing. They might need some healing.”

Nadya looked to the girl beside. “Dispatch a unit to the fifteenth floor of the western wing. You better get them out of here before they start volunteering to help.”

You nodded, shaking her hand and then turning toward your boys.

They were waiting for you.

You smiled and walked up, picking up the pace for the last few steps to Jungkook to add some force to your punch to his gut.

He grunted, and you could hear his breath come out from the force.

You turned to deliver a blow to each of the other boys, most of them now wary and only receiving punches to their arms—except for Namjoon who received a nice hard slap to the face.

“Why?!” Jimin asked, rubbing his arm.

“You mean besides that half-baked mess of a plan that almost got you killed?! Because I just heard that you guys haven’t stopped working for the past three days, you idiots! How many times am I going to have to beat it into you that rest is important?!” You shoved the nearest one toward the door you summoned. “It’s like you want to get killed. We sleep before battle, we eat real meals, we take care of ourselves so that we can do our jobs better and not end up on our knees with guns pointed at us and hoping that—” You slammed the door behind your sheepish boys, “—our girlfriend is going to show up in time to save our hides, again! I mean, if I was five minutes later you all would be dead.”

“We had a contingency plan,” Namjoon said, taking your hand.

You huffed, not pulling your hand away, but still moving briskly to the next door and opening it. “Contingency plans. Those are always so reliable.”

They passed through, but then effectively stopped you—Taehyung hugging you tightly from behind, Jimin getting his arms around you next, and soon you were at the center of a group hug with your sweaty lovers.

“We’ve missed you so much,” Yoongi said, and you could hear the effort he had to take to not swear when he said it. He only was touching you by the hand, but he gripped that hand like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

Jungkook had managed to get closer to you than Yoongi, and he was pressing soft kisses to your temple.

You could feel Hoseok’s vines wrapping around your ankles affectionately.

“The baby?” Seokjin asked, his voice just above a whisper.

“Perfectly fine and healthy.” You rested against whichever one was holding you up more. “I missed you all more than you can imagine.”

Namjoon’s hand stroked your hair. “It must have been so hard, baby.”

You nodded, leaning into his touch. “But it’s over now. So, come on. I want to get out of the cold and it’s time for you to meet our little one.”

They broke away with nods and murmurs of excitement, though there was also a tinge of sadness at having missed so much already.

You gave each of them a kiss, because you didn’t get to earlier, then led the way to the house while still holding hands with Hoseok and Yoongi.

The safe house was definitely a little worse for wear after a few attacks by the oasis group a few months ago, but there wasn’t much work that could be done to the exterior in the winter, and none of it caused any issues with heating or leaks, so you weren’t too worried about it.

You hummed a little, which would warn the boys that you were returning. You could sense that they were at peace at that moment, and you could sense that the baby was asleep.

Sensing you, Soobin hummed as well, to establish a line of communication, asking if you wanted them out of the house for a while.

You glanced at your loves, then asked if he and the other boys in the house would mind.

You could sense amusement from them, and you saw the snow rise and shift to clear the path you were on—a clear sign from Yeonjun.

“Whoa,” Taehyung breathed, checking the snow out as you all came up to the front door of the house.

You entered the house, helping them strip off their gear after simply shucking off your coat and shoes, leading them into the living room and sitting them down before going into the nursery.

Hoseok saw you first, standing and staring at the bundle in your arms.

The others fell silent, watching you as you brought the baby in.

You nodded for him to sit again, waiting for him to be ready for you to pass the baby off to him before doing so. “Hobi, this is our daughter, Mishil.”

Hoseok held her carefully, looking down at her with trepidation and love.

“It’s a girl?” Jimin breathed.

“We have a daughter?” Namjoon said, sounding pretty emotional.

“She’s so tiny,” Jungkook said, sounding like he was tearing up.

You carefully placed Hoseok’s hands so that he was holding her a little better, more easily. “She was born a little early, but she’s strong and healthy.”

Yoongi had slid closer, and hesitantly touched Mishil’s head, then a little more certainly, stroking her hair. “Her hair is so soft.”

“Look at her little hands!” Taehyung gushed from Hobi’s other side.

“She’s perfect,” Hoseok said lowly, voice thick. “She’s absolutely perfect. Just like her mom.”

Warmth flooded your heart.

“More than perfect, better than perfect,” Taehyung expanded. “What’s better than perfect? What’s a word for that?”

“There is no word for that,” Namjoon answered, hovering but not getting closer.

Jimin and Jungkook quickly pressed in though, effectively forcing you back as they all gushed over the baby.

Jin’s arms wrapped around your waist, and he pressed kisses along the curve of your neck and shoulder. “You did so well, y/n. I know how hard it was while you were with us, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through without us.”

You melted into his embrace. Finally, you could relax and let them take care of you and your precious daughter.

One by one, all of the boys held their daughter.

Jungkook was in tears.

Namjoon looked petrified, holding her so delicately and checking every two seconds that he was doing it correctly and that he wasn’t going break her.

Jimin had turned into a dog in his excitement after having held her, and was now resting his furry muzzle on Seokjin’s leg as the oldest held Mishil.

“Where are the younger boys?” Taehyung asked after you were holding her again, having fed her and changed her diaper.

“They’re outside, I just told Soobin to head back. Now, ground rules, no sexual stuff in front of the boys. They know my true identity. I’m helping them train as a team, so be nice. Also, possibly not all of you fighting for me? We’ll have plenty of time once we’re back to our normal life for that. I’m going to set them up here, just while they’re training.”

Namjoon nodded. “We could help train them. That way they could help us out, maybe take a shift so we can have a night off so that we can have nights together.”

“So we can raise her,” Seokjin whispered. “Better than my parents. Better than Jimin’s parents. She’s going to be so very loved.”

Jimin leaned against Seokjin, letting the oldest pet him. He was still in dog form, gaze following Mishil.

“Y/n-noona?” Yeonjun called tentatively.

“Living room,” You called softly.

The five boys came in after stripping off their winter gear, noses and cheeks red from the cold, but they looked like they had been playing in the snow—eyes bright and sparkly, still the breathy laughter present in most of them.

“Thank you for taking care of her,” You said, smiling at them.

They were grinning proudly.

“She’s the best baby,” Beomgyu said decidedly. “And you weren’t gone that long. I wouldn’t let them mess up in that short time period.”

“We’re not that bad,” Yeonjun pouted.

“I did the best thing and let Soobin-hyung, Beomgyu-hyung, and Yeonjun-hyung take care of her,” Hueningkai said, obviously joking just a little.

Taehyun shook his head. “He got the bottles ready. I stayed away. Especially after last time,” He said, looking slightly traumatized.

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” You agreed, getting them all mugs of hot chocolate. “Took me and Soobin to block that from your mind.”

Soobin was quietly looking at all of your loves until he spotted Mishil in Jin’s arms, then he nodded slightly. “So…the school?”

“Control of the building has been handed over to the temple. They’re going to rehabilitate the students and alter the school into something better.”

Yeonjun nodded. “But…we’re still going to watch it? Just in case the temple…?”

You nodded. “Safeguard, mostly. But we will also ensure that it does not fall into a path of evil again.”

“We’re all safe?” Taehyun asked.

“We’re all safe,” Namjoon confirmed this time, voice strong and confident again. “And we can’t thank you boys enough for protecting these two.”

“You did well,” Yoongi added, a little more quietly, but still in a praising tone. “Y/n told us that you’re forming your own team?”

Soobin nodded. “We work well together.”

“Cute!” Taehyung gushed in whisper. “Can we keep them?”

“They’re not pets,” You told him. “And I already told you we’re keeping them. We’re going to continue training, they’re going to continue living here until they feel ready to venture out and then you boys ,when you agree, are going to help them get their feet a little more wet.”

“Oh? We are, are we?” Namjoon countered, a laugh in his voice.

You nodded. “Yup. Because otherwise I’ll rain hell down upon all of you.”

“How would you do that?” He asked, folding his arms.

“Please don’t wake the baby,” Soobin begged, already covering his ears.

Namjoon’s face went slack and he backed up a few steps. “Right, okay, sounds good. Great even. I was just teasing. We already agreed to helping you and them, and all of that. Please don’t wake her, I am not ready for that.”

You sputtered into giggles. “I wasn’t going to wake the baby. I like my sleep.”

Everyone relaxed, quite noticeably.

You rolled your eyes, then froze as she started fussing. “Then again, she might wake herself up.”

“What do I do?” Jin asked, looking to you desperately. “Jungkook wasn’t this small when we started taking care of him!”

You snorted as Jungkook hissed protests, slipping over between Hoseok and Jin to carefully take her. “You boys have a lot to learn. Did you not read any of the books I left?”

“Four times,” Yoongi said, but still looked apprehensive. “But I think I only registered all of the information once.”

You sighed and shook your head as she started fussing more. “Well, I hope you’re ready for the crash-course of parenting.”

Beomgyu looked worried. “I’ll be on standby, just in case.”

“Appreciated,” You said, looking over all of your boys before getting up with her. “Come on. Lesson one, preparing a bottle.”

——

“Alright, now open your eyes!” Taehyung said excitedly.

You did, smiling immediately. It was perfect. Magical, even. It reminded you of their first base, with elements of all of them in it, but tempered with you and much softer. More feminine.

A perfect nursery for their princess.

“It’s perfect,” You told them, bringing her over to the bassinet and laying her down in it. “You did a great job.”

Jimin giggled and wrapped around you.

The others sort of crowded in to look at her.

“She’s gonna hate us,” Yoongi said softly, so affectionately.

“Why would she hate us?” Hoseok asked, sounding worried.

“Because we’re never going to let any guy within a hundred yards of her,” Namjoon answered.

“So, we really can’t teach her songs like we would other kids?” Jungkook asked.

“Not unless you want to potentially kill us or her on accident. Trust me, my parents didn’t even realize some of the songs that would be bad.” You leaned back against Jimin.

“So what can we sing?” Jin asked.

“ABC’s.”

Taehyung huffed. “What about—”

“Sshhh. She’s sleeping,” You whispered. “Let’s worry about that when she’s old enough to actually sing. Right now, she’s our perfect little baby. Enjoy it.”

They were quiet for a while.

“Can I teach her how to knock a guy out?” Jungkook asked.

“No!” Hoseok protested at the same time you replied, “Of course.”

Hoseok looked at you in horror.

You shrugged. “She’ll need to protect herself, Hobi. She’s an archivist. We’re a dying breed, you know.”

Jin wrapped his arms around Hoseok. “She’s right. Eventually we’re going to be busy and someone will come for her and we’re going to make her the gentlest and yet fiercest fighter this world has ever seen. Like you, Hobi.”

“I thought you were describing y/n,” Yoongi said, frowning. “She’s going to be just like y/n, but maybe with less running headfirst into danger.”

“Um, you realize that it’s sort of in the job description of Archivist to run head-first into danger?”

“Shush, let us dream,” Jungkook scolded softly. “About no danger, and blissful happiness.”

You were quiet for a while, listening to the birds outside. “There is another option.”

They glanced at you, and then led the way out of the nursery, carefully closing the door to let your daughter sleep in peace while you all retired to the living room. The guys had carefully searched and found this house for the nine of you, it was fairly dilapidated when they bought it, but they had been working so hard to fix it up well for you and Mishil. The younger guys had been working hard to help as well, especially when it came to missions and such. It wasn’t completely renovated yet, but it was fixed enough that you could live there safely with Mishil.

“What other option is there?” Jin asked carefully after stopping Namjoon from asking.

“We could never teach her about artifacts and the archives,” You said, looking at your hands. “It’s not…it’s not an easy road to walk. There are secrets, lies, danger, and so much…isolation. It could end with me.”

They were silent.

“No,” Jimin said firmly. “Never. Not that.”

“But—”

“No, y/n. Look, I know…I was really harsh on you back when we are at the school. I shouldn’t have supposed that you could tell us everything. Some things are better left unsaid. But there were so many times when we realized things would have been so much worse if you hadn’t been out here gathering artifacts. If you hadn’t taught Taehyung what you did, we would have all died before we even got to fighting the school. We were following a lead, and it led us to a museum basement. There was an artifact that…it brought out the worst in us. Taehyungie had some of your silk with him, and he managed to get the artifact away from us and teleport it somewhere safe.”

You looked at Taehyung, worried. “Where?”

“Oh, it’s sort of in Antarctica….” He looked like he had completely forgotten about it.

You nodded. “We’ll go get it later.”

“Anyway, if you hadn’t been doing your job and having Taehyung help you with it, we could have died. Your job is so important, even more so now that we have a daughter,” Jimin continued, voice soft. He met your gaze. “We can’t let your job end. We just have to find new ways of making your job, her future job, easier.”

“We don’t want you to change,” Hoseok told you, kissing your forehead. “Even if you make us worry.”

“Oh, and you guys don’t make me worry?”

“Oh, we definitely do,” Jin answered, smiling. “But you’ve never asked us to change—”

“Actually, she has, usually because we’re overlooking details and she wants us to slow down to take care of ourselves,” Namjoon said.

“Asking us to change and asking us to use common sense are not the same thing,” Yoongi contradicted, laughing.

You shook your head as they all started debating whether asking them to use common sense was asking them to change or not, some for and some against.

Your crazy, chaotic boys.

And you loved them so completely.

They were the melody in your heart.

Previous.

Masterlist. ~ Series Masterpost.

Tagging: @ephemeral-mindset, @alex–awesome–22, @bryvada, @missmoxxiesworld, @knjhe, @i-dont-even-know-fck

35 notes · View notes

jouissanccs · 4 years

Text

If one has been absent for decades from a place that one once held dear, the wise would generally counsel that one should never return there again. History abounds with sobering examples: After decades of wandering the seas and overcoming all manner of deadly hazards, Odysseus finally returned to Ithaca, only to leave it again a few years later. Robinson Crusoe, having made it back to England after years of isolation, shortly thereafter set sail for that very same island from which he had so fervently prayed for deliverance.

— Amor Towles, A Gentleman In Moscow

#空论

0 notes

greeknymphs · 7 years

Text

A Low Art By Margaret Atwood

A. Authors Background

Margaret Atwood is a Canadian poet, novelist, literary critic, essayist, inventor, and environmental activist. She was born on November 18, 1939 in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Atwood is also the inventor, and developer, of the Long Pen and associated technologies that facilitate the remote robotic writing of documents.

B. Summary

As portrayed in Homer's Odyssey, Penelope - wife of Odysseus and cousin of the beautiful Helen of Troy - has become a symbol of wifely duty and devotion, enduring twenty years of waiting when her husband goes to fight in the Trojan War. As she fends off the attentions of a hundred greedy suitors, travelling minstrels regale her with news of Odysseus' epic adventures around the Mediterranean - slaying monsters and grappling with amorous goddesses. When Odysseus finally comes home, he kills her suitors and then, in an act that served as little more than a footnote in Homer's original story, inexplicably hangs Penelope's twelve maids. Now, Penelope and her chorus of wronged maids tell their side of the story in a new stage version by Margaret Atwood, adapted from her own wry, witty and wise novel.

C. Unlocking of Words

Bonelessness - The state or quality of being boneless.

· I think I have reached my state of bonelessness with the abilities I have discovered lately.

Plausible - seeming reasonable or probable

· It maybe plausible that the mother’s statement was true about her child’s abduction.

Compulsion - the action or state of forcing or being forced to do something; constraint

· Sometimes when I do my homework I’m under compulsion from my parents.

Wiliness - shrewdness as demonstrated by being skilled in deception

· Her wiliness is confusing me.

Eminent - famous and respected within a particular sphere or profession

· World’s most eminent priest is Pope Francis.

Jeering - make rude and mocking remarks, typically in a loud voice

· Some of the lower year level are jeering and I can’t stand it.

Edifying - instruct or improve (someone) morally or intellectually

· I should be edifying my way of being sociable.

Inkling - a slight knowledge or suspicion; a hint

· The teacher gave us an inkling on how to make our performance task.

Unscrupulousness - having or showing no moral principles; not honest or fair

· The person’s I was riding with on the jeepney were unscrupulousness.

Minstrel - a medieval singer or musician, especially one who sang or recited lyric or heroic poetry to a musical accompaniment for the nobility.

· Never in my whole life have I heard a minstrel play.

D. Guide Questions

1. Why does Penelope consider story telling “a low art”?

The story somehow shifts in Penelope summarizing and tackling about her personal life and relationship with her husband.

2.How does Penelope`s portrayal differ from the traditional portrayal of Odysseus? What do you think of Odyseus?

The difference between Penelope and Odysseus protarayal is that Penelope’s isbeautiful and she had a many suitors that staying in her house to marry her.but in Odyseus she is a hero in the eyes of the people in their village but when Odysseus go to work she became a man but for Penelope she felt degraded and somehow being different from the res. But for Odyseus there is nothing that chance to him why because he travelled to his journey but for Penelope`s there is something that chance to his husband.

3.Based on Penelope`s perspective how is she different from how the epic portays her? What do you think of Penelope`s character in the preceding story?

It somehow changes the attitude of Penelope and it is because of her different perspectives in how she was portrayed in the epic. A possibility arises that Penelope was degraded in the epic but proven that she is more than what they think she is. Penelope is someone who holds back to keep everything intact but as time passes she regretted her ways.

4. What does she have to say about the “official version” of what happened? Why did she point this out?

She would like to make it across that she was different from her life before to where she is now. She points it out to give an emphasis on her sufferings and to inspire other woman to stand on their own.

5.Why does she call herself “a stick used to beat other women with”? Do you agree with her?

She calls herself as “a stick used to beat other women with” is all about how she got really protective of her husband. There will always be times that women do extreme things in the name of love.

6. Why does Penelope say that she “sounds like an owl” when she tries to warn other women?

The phrase means that no one can hear her or she might just be part of the crowd or the noise that no one can pay attention with. Also, other women aren’t interested in what she wants to say

7. How much of ancient history do you think is based on fact , and how much on gossip or exaggeration.

Maybe some parts of the story is factual information or most of the part but how it became a gossip is through its exaggeration of events.

8. Do you think a story is colored by the biases of the story teller?

9.do you think history is colored by the biases of the historian?

In a way yes

10. Does this story change the way you look at literature and history?why or why not?

No, because people have different perspectives and ways in acknowledging a story. In this way myths and legends are already known to flood our history, so there isn’t any idea that would make me change the way I see literature.

E. Individual Reflection

Shemiah

Women have different ways of loving other people but they should keep in mind that they are individuals and that they have a mind of their own. To even sacrifice your happiness and life to another that doesn’t deserve it, somehow only you are to blame for that mistake.

Audrey

Life might revolve around love, and knowing that you love someone would make you go to extremes just to do that but in order to be happy one must be able to know where oneself should place. We all have our limitations and it is up to us what we should do when we reach our limits.

5 notes · View notes

paulnewmanlover · 5 years

Text

2019 in Reflection: Book Edition

In 2019 I didn’t do any special challenge or reading list, because I’ve found that putting pressure on myself to read certain types of books usually means I just... don’t end up reading them. So my New Year’s Resolution for this year was to stop worrying, pick whatever books actually interested me (regardless of their “literary merit”), and learn to fall in love with reading again. So, big huge fucking success, because I read way more books this year than I have in like... the past decade. And so many of them had queer characters, because that’s what I wanted! So without further ado, a list of books I read this year plus brief summaries under the cut for anyone who’s interested

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

I finally got around to reading this at the turn of the new year, and boy did it live up to the hype. A retelling of the Iliad from the perspective of Patroclus--a figure in the myth who rarely gets much screentime or true character depth--and his relationship with Achilles. As a huge Greek mythology fan, this was such a fresh take on the story I couldn’t help but love it, and despite knowing how it ends it still kept me on the edge of my seat and left me with a soft, bittersweet feeling.

Bonus LGBT points: obviously, the story is about Patroclus and Achilles in love, so their relationship takes a central focus

A Conspiracy of Truths - Alexandra Rowland

Basically the premise of this book is that an old man (Chant) who tells stories for a living lies his way deeper and deeper into a political struggle he wants nothing to do with, while his doting apprentice and ambivalent lawyer try to get him out of trouble (with varying degrees of motivation). This book is astoundingly hilarious, I absolutely loved the main character, and contrary to some reviews I didn’t find it slow or overly convoluted. The world setting might take a bit of getting into, but Chant was such a wry protagonist I stayed engaged throughout the entire read.

Bonus LGBT points: Chant’s apprentice (a significant character) is gay and has a boyfriend for most of the book (he is also just, the sweetest little idiot that ever graced God’s green earth, someone help him, please)

Praise Song for the Butterflies - Bernice L. McFadden

A story about a girl who is sacrificed into ritual servitude in West Africa, a brutal practice that still exists today, and her recovery process after being rescued. It isn’t for the faint of heart, and despite having a hopeful ending it was still a tough read to get through (sexual violence abounds, but never in a way that was overtly graphic or written as anything other than horrifying). A story about learning to trust and love again after being a long-term victim of abuse.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

A biographical retelling of the glamorous, amorous, and scandalous life of Evelyn Hugo, an aging and reclusive Hollywood star. Her life (and the book) is sectioned out by her titular seven husbands--but hidden behind it all is her one true, secret love: her wife. I was surprised by how much I liked this book given it isn’t my usual genre, but Evelyn is such an unapologetic firecracker I couldn’t help rooting for her, despite some of the horrible things she had to do for her success. Another bittersweet ending, but IMO not overly tragic or sad (though your mileage may vary).

Bonus LGBT points: two bisexual women main characters, one in a long-standing relationship with a lesbian, and a gay secondary character who is a recurring figure in Evelyn’s life

Circe - Madeline Miller

Probably my top read of the year--I think it also lives up to its wide acclaim and hype. A retelling of the life of the Greek mythological figure Circe, the witch who is most famously known for her romantic liaison with Odysseus. Ultimately I found this book to be a very insightful exploration of what it means to be a victim, and how that victimhood defines (or doesn’t define) your life, while also respinning a common tale into a more feminist narrative without being overly pretentious.

Bonus LGBT points(?): there is a significant male secondary character who ends up in a relationship with another man, but it isn’t mentioned until the veeerrrrry end so I wouldn’t really count it as proper rep

Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir

The book is aptly taglined as “lesbian necromancers in space” and honestly? Can’t get a more accurate description than that. It’s super fun, super interesting world building, has a fantastic cast, hilarious writing, and there are two more books on the way! I want everyone to read this, if just for the sheer absolute silly glee it invokes. Fair warning, it is a book about necromancy and has an appropriately high level of character death, so don’t make the same mistakes I did and get overly attached to anybody. :(

Bonus LGBT points: Gideon is a big ole lesbian (unapologetically!! she gets flustered by pretty girls!! she looks at tiddy magazines!! I love her!!!), and it’s implied that Harrow is as well

The Vagrant - Peter Newman

I saw this book summarized once as “tired man just wants to quit saving the world and retire to a quiet farm with his husband and baby” and really, that is pretty darn accurate. The story follows the Vagrant, a mute man who is travelling on a secret quest with a baby, a goat, and a magical sword... none of whom actually talk. So the book is largely dialogue-free (although when side character Harm joins the group later he does most of the talking), which is an interesting gimmick that I appreciated, even if I honestly spent about 75% of the book vaguely confused about what was actually happening. Despite the confusion, I still gobbled the book up and read it in about 2 days, so I guess I enjoyed it??

Bonus LGBT points: spent the whole book trying to figure out if Harm and the Vagrant were actually a couple, ended book 1 thinking it was purposefully left kinda ambiguous, but SPOILERS AHEAD in the first chapter of book 2 it confirms they are in love and living together SO there is a primary mlm relationship that builds throughout the story (I want someone else to read this book so I can talk about Them please)

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion - Jia Tolentino

The only non-fiction book I read this year (that wasn’t an audiobook), Trick Mirror is a collection of essays by Tolentino on feminism, social media, and all the insidious ways we as a society and as individuals delude ourselves. A kinda harsh (although brutally honest imo) take, it doesn’t really leave readers with a solution or even a strong message, but it still worked for me as an observational piece that made me think critically about the world we live in.

Kings of the Wyld - Nicholas Eames

God, I had so many problems with this book, and I really wish I could say I didn’t like it, but in spite of myself I did enjoy reading it. The premise is a bunch of old ex-adventurers get the “band” back together again to save one of their bandmate’s daughter, who is trapped in a city besieged by a horde of monsters. It doesn’t treat its (few) female characters well, the target audience is obviously men, but damn if I didn’t end up getting attached to these shitty old dudes and their back pain and bad knees and way-too-old-for-this attitudes as they muddle their way through one last big adventure.

Bonus LGBT points: One of the bandmates is a gay old wizard, whose character actually strikes a good balance between being comic relief and having some of the more poignant and seriously emotional moments of the book. He was married to another man (who died long before the start of the book), and his character arc centers around trying to cure the disease that killed his husband (also someone read this book and come talk to me about Matty/Moog, there’s no way those two didn’t hook up when they were younger).

Gods of Jade and Shadow - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

A Mexican girl living in the full swing of the 1920s accidentally opens a magical box and releases a Mayan death god, who is bent on revenge for his imprisonment and wants to restore his rightful place as the ruler of Xilbalba. She gets unwillingly recruited onto his campaign, and thus proceeds a story of adventure, romance, and patan (which I think is best translated as “mythical duty”). It’s a fun read, and while it didn’t blow me away I enjoyed the backdrop of a different mythology than the usual greek/roman persuasion.

Red, White, and Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

What if we lived in a world where the biracial son of a female US president could be in a queer romantic relationship with the prince of England? Fat chance! But at least I can play out that fantasy scenario in my imagination via this lovely pageturner! It’s a cute enemies-to-friends-to-lovers trope played out à la the best longass, feel-good, comforting fanfiction you’ve ever stayed up until 2 am reading on a school/work night. Not really a “substance” read by any stretch, it was a cute romance that had fun with its premise and lets you escape to a world in which 2016 didn’t happen and real life doesn’t suck so much.

Bonus LGBT points: The story is centered around the relationship between two men (one is gay and the other is bi), and has a few side characters with varying flavors of ace/queer

Bloody Rose - Nicholas Eames

The sequel to Kings of the Wyld centers on the rescued daughter from the previous book, Bloody Rose, this time as the lead mercenary of her own kickass band of ragtag misfits. Full confession, I haven’t entirely finished this one yet, but so far it does a LOT better with its female characters and has a lot less of the “boys in the locker room” style of writing. Like its predecessor, it’s a fun read with plenty of action, and although I wouldn’t call it the pinnacle of good writing, it has enough interesting characters to keep the reader engaged.

Bonus LGBT points: The main POV character (not Rose) is a lesbian, and another female bandmate (also not Rose) is bisexual

#book list #onto 2020 and whatever reads it might bring #i have a few items on my to-read list but i'm always open for recommendations

0 notes

convenientalias · 6 years

Text

A Summary of My Fics in 2018

I found this post lying around and apparently I forgot to post it two weeks ago at the New Year’s when I first made it, so. Here’s a list of the fics I wrote in 2018, with some musings etc.

** = Personal favorite.

# = I wish it had more comments.

Animorphs

on a night like this one (1952 words)--A Cassie/Rachel fic written for the Smut Exchange in April, so not a whole lot of plot! I was inspired by a prompt asking for Cassie as the gentle dom, which seemed like such an interesting concept.

falcon falcon, burning bright (2264 words)--Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo in June, a fic about Visser Three capturing Jake. The square I wrote it for was “The Collector”.

Whales and Dolphins and Humans and Yeerks (1416 words)--A Cassie/Aftran fic. Written on one of those probably-too-frequent occasions I opened for femslash prompts. I’d kind of always wanted to write some Caftran? But never got around to it bc I have too many damn fandoms. (...fandamns.)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

...wow, I wrote six fics for this fandom this year. Guess it was more of an ATLA year than I thought.

Largely bc of keircatenation, btw, who sent me a couple very nice prompts.

Kyoshi Wood (This Bird Has Flown) (1726 words)--Dysfunctional Tyzula fic, the first ATLA fic I have ever posted on AO3 (...though I have in the past posted a number on ff.net). Written because I listened to the song “Norwegian Wood” and instantly thought, “Welp, that’s a Tyzula vibe.” The first ATLA fic I wrote this year and it was already July...guess my ATLA content has been all in the past five months.

** every feudal lord needs a loyal handmaiden (13883 words)--Moooore Tyzula! This fic was for the Femslash After Dark Exchange in July which should make it more smutty than it is! But I figure the mature rating is justified by the various dark goings-on. Anyways, this is basically me writing the political intrigue Tyzula fic of my dreams, which is how it got so damn long. I’m quite happy with it.

a snow fight (1660 words)--...and I’m not happy with this one! I was prompted “No holds barred beatdown” for Zuko in Bad Things Happen Bingo and I tried my best but I think I just wasn’t in the right headspace. Came out kind of eh.

changing, losing, staying (3906 words)--Written when I opened for femslash prompts and received the prompt "'I can't afford to lose you too' + Suki/Ty Lee". Postcanon, pretty chill, longer than I expected it to be by the time I was done.

** because it would be a waste (1891 words)--Brief Azutara fic for the prompt of "Azula/Katara, set in a Bad Future AU where Azula is Fire Lord and Katara is her Favorite Prisoner." Written in November.

A Diplomatic Mission and Its Results (2483 words)--I was prompted diplomacy and Suki/Sokka/Toph for some poly event and I did my best! Never really thought about this ship before.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)

** Mhaacta Made Them Do It (3631 words)--Amy/Rosa treat for the Femslash After Dark Exchange, featuring ritual sex and an ELDRITCH ABOMINATION. ...technically a case fic.

Caper Court - Caro Fraser

the pupil of dover court (1543 words)-- I found this book series thru the Yuletide Exchange but only had time (...well, access, really) to read the first book. But I quite liked it and wrote a treat for the person requesting it for the exchange.

Catherine (Web Series)

there's something about catherine (1299 words)-- Another fandom I found through the Yuletide Exchange! This requester wanted some Lynchian Normcore femslash so I did my best to provide. Very easy fandom to get into, btw, webseries is less than an hour long.

Disney

** Amor Vincit Omnia (3231 words)--Maleficent/Philip Stockholm Syndrome fic, written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange.

No one will hurt you (1166 words)--Inspired by a short comic by @disneyfemslashcomics, a Mulan/Jasmine fic featuring hurt/comfort and a nonbinary Mulan.

** # Old and stolen texts (2635 words)--A Belleficent fic I wrote bc idk I like Maleficent and I like Belle and the two seemed like a good ship for Stockholm Syndrome and, obviously, beauty and the beast scenarios. Quite proud of this one :)

Dollhouse

I wrote five fics for this fandom this year but I still think I kind of cooled on it. For one thing, two of those fics were assigned for exchanges--for another, last year, with little to no incentive of that kind, I wrote seven. Still had a good time this year tho.

Also, all of them were pretty dark! We’re not surprised.

** i'll take your mind (to kick around as a toy) (3095 words)--Adelle/Echo fic written for the Trope Bingo Challenge, for a square of “in another man’s shoes”. Longer than I had remembered!

Orientation (3881 words)--Possibly my darkest fic of the year, but I’m sure it’s debatable. Blatant rape/non-con between Bennett Halverson and Caroline Farrell, written for the Nonconathon Exchange.

taking turns (2008 words)--Lighter in the sense that it’s melancholy rather than dark as hell. A Claire and Topher fic written for the Remix Revival event, remixing a fic I greatly enjoyed.

# january to december, do you want to be a member? (1338 words)--Adelle/Echo fic where Adelle uses Echo as a doll. Kind of a filler fic, I’d always wanted to play with the idea but couldn’t get super into it. Ehh.

# someone to watch over me (1217 words)--Claire-centered fic with not a whole ton of plot. Again, kind of a filler fic. This is one reason I have to say I was not so into this fandom this year--2/5 fics being filler isn’t a great ratio.

Egil Saga - Faun (Music Video)

No man shall scratch runes. (1273 words)--Written as a treat for the Yuletide Exchange. H/C and some very basic worldbuilding for a weird, surreal music video. Not much else to say. Debatably femslash.

Flesh and Bone (TV)

Danseuse and Partner (1172 words)-- I got paired with someone for the Chocolate Box Exchange who requested soft and fluffy fic for Cassie/Jake, but at that time I had no fluffy Animorph feelings so I binge-watched this miniseries so I could fill their other request, which was domestic, relatively functional incest fic. Idk if I succeeded, it was an interesting prompt but I didn’t ship it. I was more vibing with the series’ femslash potential. But I never got around to writing for that.

Gattaca (1997)

Gattaca fandom, I swear I still love you! I’m just less depressed this year! Which, to be honest, IS A GOOD THING! but not very conducive to the kind of Gattaca fic I used to write lols.

** Peppermint and Vanilla (1492 words)--H/C Eugne & Vincent fic written when @trifoyle prompted me the title. I’m quite happy with it.

Of Physicists and Janitors (35780 words)-- I only wrote like a chapter of this in 2018. God. I really need to finish this. Also AO3 thinks I wrote the whole thing this year which just is not true.

Allergies (2374 words)-- Fic I started like two years ago and only finished now. Mostly Vincent-centric. Again, inspired by conversation with @trifoyle

Gravity Falls

The Pink Streak (1644 words)-- Wendy/Pacifica fic written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange.

Grease (1978)

beauty queen, my best girl (1018 words)-- Frenchy/Sandy fic, written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange.

Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

** A Mistress's Mistress (2178 words)-- Jordan/Myrtle fic written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange. Because Myrtle deserves better, okay?

** Santa Barbara (2691 words)-- Pre-canon Jordan/Daisy fic written for a prompt of "Jordan manipulating Daisy (and Daisy kind of going along with it)." Probably my favorite Jordaisy fic I’ve written to date.

Careless Wanderers (2380 words)-- Post-canon Jordan/Daisy fic written for Trope Bingo for the “Road Trip” square.

White Lies of a Colored Past (1820 words)-- About two years ago I wrote down the idea of Gatsby incorporating Nick into his shady, multiple-choice backstory. And then this year I finally wrote it. ...probably would have been better two years ago but I don’t not like it.

** for children's consumption (3143 words)-- Someone prompted me Nick Carraway and abuse/neglect for Bad Things Happen Bingo, and I wrote this odd little gen fic drawing parallels between his past and Pammy’s present. I’m quite pleased with it.

the dawn of another summer (443 words)-- Fic found in a deleted text file. Jordaisy.

the kind of choices you make at midnight (436 words)-- Fic found in a deleted text file. Jordaisy.

Greek and Roman Mythology

Messenger of the Atreides (2035 words)-- I wrote this as a pinch hit for the Chocolate Box Exchange. Shipping Odysseus/Achilles from the Iliad. The vaguest smut I ever did write.

Hannibal (TV)

** # A similar confusion (4036 words)--Weird Gideon & Will fic bc having watched Hannibal, I really just wanted someone to be nice to Will who wasn’t Hannibal bc oh geez.

Harlots (TV)

girl in black and white (451 words)-- Short little ficlet I wrote for fuckthegods for the TV Exchange. Fuckthegods left tumblr... I’m really sad.

There is no one higher (2300 words)-- Caroline/Charlotte fic, would be PWP if I went harder on the actual smut.

Heathers

Right Answers (1667 words)-- Chansaw fic for the Femslash Exchange. Probably should have been longer but I overbooked myself this season and for once didn’t have the time.

doing an old friend a favor (2080 words)-- Someone requested Veronica/McNamara with a JESSICA JONES NOIR AU for Yuletide so of course I had to treat that shit.

How to Get Away with Murder

I wrote six whole fics for this fandom and still never wrote shippy stuff for my OTP. I NEED TO GET AROUND TO THAT. Also all my fics were relatively short and I should get on that. But this fandom doesn’t comment a whole lot and none of my friends are in it so it’s hard to motivate...

** your sweetheart psychopathic crush (2148 words)-- My first fic in this fandom, darkish Lilabecca bc of course I had to start with dark femslash.

five ways of looking at a homicide (1950 words)-- Asher POV finding out about all the shit that went down with the original Keating murder.

exam grade (1174 words)-- Annalise being concerned about Wes.

stuck in the corner (1089 words)-- Annalise/Michaela and Annalise/Bonnie in one brief smutty moment. Written for the Annual Femslash Kinkmeme.

# warm water (1353 words)-- Angsty Bonnalise bath sex. Written for the Annual Femslash Kinkmeme.

this is nice but also that is a murder bed (1062 words)-- And a random Connor/Wes fic appears.

Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers - Alyssa Wong

# the street's a liar (2411 words)--Honestly this fic (written for Dark Femslash Week) is pretty good and I would write more fic for this fandom if it wasn’t two ppl and a shoelace.

I reincarnated into an otome game as a villainess with only destruction flags

Villainesses Must Stick Together (2950 words)-- Written as a treat for the Yuletide Exchange. The rare diary format fic! Multiple realities interacting and some very mild selfcest!

Inception (2010)

** Fortifier (3512 words)-- Saito/Cobb fic written as a treat for the Chocolate Box exchange, with Saito as Cobb’s employer but also veering close to sugar daddy. I’m actually pretty happy with this.

Jessica Jones (TV)

Nothing Neat or Nice (2484 words)-- Hogarth/Jessica, plotless infidelity.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV)

gentleman's homecoming (1543 words)-- Lazy Grant/Jonathan fic mostly written to get my feet wet in the fandom.

** the husband in the tower (3787 words)--Arabella rescues Jonathan! Basically the fic I wanted to be the canon ending! But also written for my assignment for Yuletide! So we know other ppl wanted it too.

** Empty Houses Need to Be Filled (3804 words)-- Written as a Yuletide treat, an Emma/Arabella post-canon recovery fic.

A Strange Pact (1374 words)-- Going to be multichapter AU gen fic about Jonathan and the Gentleman. I’m working on it!

Lady of the Shard (Webcomic)

nix the new age morality (1537 words)--Noncon of the “Old God made them do it with mind control” sort, treat for the Nonconathon Exchange.

Les Misérables

you should probably arrest me (751 words)-- Enjolras/Javert ficlet, prompted.

shivering under the stars (2277 words)-- Enjolras/Javert, prompted for the “shaking and shivering” square for Bad Things Happen Bingo.

Marco Polo (TV)

Eleven fics for this fandom this year! Why, that’s quite a few! This is entirely bc of fuckthegods who a) sent me a lot of prompts for femslash and one for gen and b) just in general is my Marco Polo muse, inspires me to write fics I wouldn’t otherwise write. And now she’s gone off to Dreamwidth and I am honestly so sad but anyways.

Also, I’m not gonna tag any of these as “could use more comments” bc Marco Polo is such a damn small fandom but. That is true for basically all of these.

And I would walk five hundred miles (2514 words)-- Jing Fei/Mei Lin fic where Jing Fei survives and the two are reunited.

** Make me feel missed (2157 words)--Sequel to above, this time THERE’S SMUT.

truth in the cups (489 words)-- Written for fuckthegods in an exchange, Chabit/Mei Lin fic.

i will wait for you (1060 words)-- Jing Fei/Mei Lin episode related.

** do princes bleed blue (1643 words)-- Jingim whump for Bad Things Happen Bingo, “bleeding through bandages”.

stages of reflection (2229 words)-- Mei Lin + mirrors. For Bad Things Happen Bingo “rage against the reflection”.

an empress' softness (1558 words)-- Mei Lin/Chabi, smutty and angsty episode tag to “Measure Against the Linchpin.”

running from a savior (1459 words)-- Mei Lin & Marco, related to “Hug.”

Harmless (1158 words)-- Mei Lin/Chabi smut set in Season One, playing with power dynamics.

dance of mourning (695 words)-- Mei Lin mourning Jing Fei.

a whore's return to cambulac (2075 words)-- My last gift to fuckthegods before she left tumblr, a Mei Lin/Chabi reunion fic postcanon.

Miraculous Ladybug

Bound to Be There For You (2908 words)-- Chlonette fic written for the “tied together” square of Trope Bingo.

Original Work

** In the Private Seating (3384 words)-- Theatre smut. Femslash. Written as a treat for the Smut Exchange.

Perilous Gard - Elizabeth Marie Pope

** # The Training of a Human (5019 words)-- Dark Lady/Kate fic for Yuletide treat.

** Bangles (2485 words)-- Aaaand another dark Lady/Kate fic for Yuletide treat.

Phantom of the Opera

Me: I feel like I’ve been less active in the POTO fandom this year.

Also me: Wrote 28 POTO fics this year.

Got a lot of prompts, especially from generalsleepy, ponderinfrustration, a couple others I can’t think of off the top of my head. Thanks to all you guys for the inspiration.

Perfectionist (1617 words)-- Soft early relationship Carlottastine ficlet. Prompted.

Mind Beating Wild (1544 words)-- Carlottastine remix of the cemetery scene. Also prompted.

** Buttercup Boys and Goldenrod Girls (2990 words)-- Queerplatonic Raoul & Christine fic with aro Christine and demisexual Raoul. Kind of a wandering, collage-y fic.

** Cinnamon and Tobacco (5441 words)-- My first ever Daraoulga fic! A lot of H/C.

Nowhere, Nobody Else (1450 words)-- Cherik/Philippe fic. Prompted.

** in my heart i belong in a house by the sea (1797 words)-- Angsty as heck R/C fic. In Sweden! Prompted.

** free city for the enterprising (1746 words)-- Vaaaampires with R/C and E/R, I think it was prompted?

the more persistent spirit (3279 words)-- More generic Daraoulga fic, me still trying to figure out how Daraoulga would work.

** half-sick of shadows (3320 words)-- I just felt like “The Lady of Shalott” had strong Christine vibes, so I mixed it into a Carlottastine fic.

two divas one bed (1332 words)-- I mean what does it sound like. Modern AU Carlottastine.

** kiss me hard before you go (2489 words)-- Carlottastine but Carlotta is leaving Paris to live in the country so they’re BREAKING UP OH NO. Prompted.

hello, i want to kiss you (1009 words)-- Cherik/Philippe fic. Prompted.

Confusion of a Night (1987 words)-- Carlotta & Raoul fic, written for the “sensory overload” square of Bad Things Happen Bingo.

** two-thirty phone calls are never a good sign (1671 words)-- Daraoulga modern AU fic written for the humiliation square of Bad Things Happen Bingo.

** could you maybe act like you don't hate me (3433 words)-- Carlottastine smut mostly.

eliminate the competition (437 words)-- Carlotta ficlet. Prompted.

gala (654 words)-- A softer follow-up on “two-thirty phone calls are never a good sign.” ...I think it was prompted?

spiteful (796 words)-- Erik/Carlotta spiteful kiss ficlet, prompted.

take notes, sweetheart (466 words)-- Carlottastine antagonistic UST ficlet, prompted.

good morning erik (443 words)-- Fluffy Cherik/Philippe ficlet, prompted.

** she loves a pretty face (3966 words)-- Prompted “Raoul, scar to remember” for Bad Things Happen Bingo. Some R/C and E/R. I like this one.

lonely with you (1583 words)-- Prompted Raoul and touch-starved for Bad Things Happen Bingo. R/C, Sweden fic.

** Dolls and Goblins (5175 words)-- Prompted E/R and forced crossdressing, not somewhere I would usually go! But I think it came out well.

don't you trust me? (921 words)-- Angsty Daraoulga ficlet. Prompted.

nothing more than a minnow (1019 words)-- Quiet ghost!E/R fic written for the Darkest Night Exchange. This prompt definitely deserved better than I gave it! Idk why I wasn’t vibing with it just then.

cause you might not get tomorrow (1619 words)-- Carlotta carpe diem fic! Including Carlottastine.

long-term issues (2679 words)--Not another E/R kidnapping fic, I can’t believe it. I think this was prompted but I fucked with the prompt.

i wanna run away with you (2464 words)--Daroga joins with the R & C gang for the Sweden elopement.

Tell me the truth. (1941 words)-- Angsty Daraoulga, prompted.

...why does it feel like I didn’t write that much POTO fic? Maybe bc proportionally it’s less than in other years. But this year I wrote more fic in general, so of course the proportions have shifted.

Riverdale (TV 2017)

** the long elasticity of forgiveness (4321 words)-- FP is in jail, Jughead is being very patient.

** # My Secret Brother (7614 words)-- Technically Chic would have been Jughead’s brother too, so.

# spill some blossom blood (2049 words)-- Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt, “Cheryl, take me instead”.

Sense8 (TV)

Six fics this year :) That’s about as many as I thought. Fandom deserves more tbh.

You, Painted Pink and Blue (2652 words)-- Sun/Riley kind of smut without plot, written for the Trope Bingo square of “Romance novel AU.”

Secret Garden (999 words)-- Sun/Soo-jin ficlet.

** Such Things Are Possible (12867 words)-- Rajan’s POV of that CRAZY FINALE, possibly my most popular fic this year. I had a lot of feelings.

smart talker (1385 words)-- Capheus and Whispers and creepiness. Prompted.

** Lovely in Starlight (5080 words)-- Fucked up Lila/Kala fic bc sometimes you gotta do all the work for yourself. I like this one.

** first meetings (2294 words)-- Some Jonas what-ifs.

Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab

Missive From Halfway Through "Seeing It" (1176 words)-- My first fic of the year, a NYR treat, epistolary fic with Kell and Rhy.

Qivuak (2635 words)-- Kell/Holland sex pollen fic for Chocolate Box treat.

** Interlude at the Hot Springs (3457 words)-- Also for Chocolate Box treat, a KELL/HOLLAND HOT SPRINGS FIC. Quite possibly my favorite dumbass premise of the year.

Lily London (2083 words)-- Quiet Kell and Holland fic.

Cat on the Bed (1980 words)-- Kell/Holland smut but they’re cat boys, assigned fic for the Smut Exchange.

Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Think I Know Where You Belong (2004 words)-- Elmax fic, prompted.

** # An Errand in the City (3833 words)-- Kali meets Nancy and visits Hawkins to see El. Kali/Mick fic.

** Long Trek to a New Home (6476 words)-- Kalancy APOCALYPSE FIC, written for the apocalypse square of Trope Bingo.

we live in cities you'll never see onscreen (1321 words)-- Kali/Mick origin story, precanon.

** # hands that stitch (3187 words)-- Kali murders a dude at Nancy’s college, Kalancy.

The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner

tell me about the mede (655 words)-- I didn’t even write this this year, I just found it in a deleted text document. My QT writing is way down.

The Sting (1973)

a smaller con (1373 words)-- Look I know y’all talk about Hooker/Gondorff but the real ship here is Hooker/Lonnegan k?

イキガミ | Ikigami - All Media Types

it's galling how much i want to be good (3655 words)-- I started this fic like three years ago but only finished and posted this year. Whump.

亜人 - 三浦追儺 & 桜井画門 | Ajin - Miura Tsuina & Sakurai Gamon those who drown together stay together (1352 words)-- Kou and Kei wash up on the shore.

#statistics

0 notes

brain-leakage-blog · 6 years

Text

Heroes, Antiheroes, and Villain-heroes

One of the online discussion groups I belong to is dedicated to the life and works of the late Karl Edward Wagner. Wagner, in case you're unfamiliar with him, was a World Fantasy Award-winning editor and author. Among his most enduring and famous creations is Kane, an immortal, ageless killer cursed by a "mad, idiot god" to wander the earth. Kane is amoral, killing both the innocent and the corrupt in pursuit of his goals, and sometimes he's only cast as the hero in relation to the greater, more ancient evils opposed to him.

This leads some to describe Kane as an antihero. But according to Wagner's longtime friend John Mayer, Wagner himself would strongly disagree. He always preferred to call Kane a villain-hero.

This wasn't just an author playing pedantic games. Wagner would stress that "antihero" was a word with a specific meaning, one that was slowly being corrupted and lost by misapplying it to characters like Kane.

I agree with him.

When someone says antihero, the first thing that probably comes to mind is the tough, morally grey outsider. A character like Deadpool, the Punisher, or the Man with No Name. By any reasonable metric, these aren't people to be admired. They're criminals, outlaws, and mercenaries. They don't reflect the values of society. Under other circumstances, they'd be considered villains.

Yet we admire them anyway.

Despite their moral failings, we're drawn to their strength and courage in the face of overwhelming odds. Their outsider status gives them the advantage of being able to ignore society's rules in pursuit of their goals. And because those goals often serve some greater good (either by accident or on purpose), they're moved a step closer to "heroism" on the morality scale.

Here's the thing.

All of that stuff up there, about the grey morality and the admiration solely for strength and courage? That's not antiheroism.

That's just straight, garden variety heroism. At least in the classical sense.

The English word "hero" comes from the Old French word "heroe," meaning "man of superhuman strength or physical courage." The Old French is in turn derived from the Greek and Latin "heros," meaning "demigod" or "protector." Its original meaning in English was "man who exhibits great bravery."

What all of the above definitions are lacking is a moral component. There's nothing in there about right and wrong, serving the greater good, or any of the other "traditionally" heroic qualities. That's because the basic concept of heroism (having great strength and personal courage) predates dualistic notions of good and evil. It isn't rooted in any specific morality, dualistic or otherwise.

This is readily apparent when you look at some of the Greek myths. Heroes like Achilles, Theseus, and Odysseus exhibited some genuinely awful behavior. Their stories are filled with betrayal, murder, kidnapping, and forced marriages.

So if these characters were such shit-heel human beings, why have they been admired for thousands of years? For that matter, why were they admired by the ancient Greeks?

Answer: They were admired because they faced the enemy in battle, risking death and crippling injuries. Because they challenged monsters spawned by the gods. When their own people or lands were menaced by outsiders, they stood on the field and fought tooth and nail to protect them.

Their strength, their skill, and their willingness to put everything on the line when it mattered is what made them heroes.

And as bitter a pill as it can be for us to swallow with our modern sensibilities, it's possible to exhibit all of those qualities and still be a reprehensible human being.

So, if heroes can be awful people, where do antiheroes come in? Why does the word even exist?

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines an antihero as:

"the central character in a play, book, or film who does not have traditionally heroic qualities, such as courage, and is admired instead for what society generally considers to be a weakness of their character"

In the original meaning of the word, an antihero is a very specific kind of character. The weak, nebbish leads in Woody Allan's films are antiheroes. The henpecked, buffoonish husbands in most sitcoms are antiheroes. The resigned and listless characters in Franz Kafka's work are antiheroes.

And just as heroes can be rotten piles of human garbage, antiheroes can be good people. In the case of Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray is a loving father and husband. He honestly tries to do right by his family. But he lacks almost any kind of courage or strength. Which means he will never, ever be a hero. Not in the classical sense.

Which brings me back to Wagner's original point. It's really not possible to apply this definition of antiheroism to characters like Deadpool, the Punisher, or Wagner's own Kane. Reprehensible actions aside, all of them display physical courage in spades.

Of course, language evolves. At some point, "heroism" picked up a moral component, one that seems to have completely replaced "strength and physical courage" in most contexts. This, in turn, bled into the idea of an antihero being someone who lacks that morality.

But with that evolution, we're losing an important distinction. We don't have another word to replace "antihero" as it evolves away from its original meaning.

Considering how many characters in modern fiction are antiheroes in that original, classic sense, it's a loss the language can't really afford.

#brain leakage blog #writing #writing advice #karl edward wagner #antihero #hero #words mean things #courage #strength #greek mythology #etymology

0 notes