#odiniles ?? in a sense

[sieglinde-freud]

is this anything

[sakumosowainthirst]

I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and coffee; let’s make a controversial post! Today’s topic: Fates/Awakening ships I hate!  :D

Preface: I’m not hating on anyone who ships these.  I’m also not saying you can’t/shouldn’t ship these.  I’m merely voicing why I dislike them, because I usually keep it all to myself and just feel like screaming into the void today.  So all of this is just my opinion, and you don’t have to take it seriously, okay? C:  Also, I don’t want to have to type “to me” after every opinion, so just take it as implied.

Now then, let’s begin.

Lonliss/Lon’qu-Lissa

Easily my biggest dislike on the list.  I will never, ever, ever understand why this is Owain’s most popular parentage.  Their supports weren’t all that great, and they are just so different from each other in ways that I think they would just clash.  I’ve seen people who ship it say, “He would be so supportive of Owain’s banter!  He would encourage his playfulness!”  And all I can think is, “Are we thinking of the same Lon’qu?  The one who’s stoic, doesn’t talk much, is very serious and grumpy?  That Lon’qu?”  He’s the token tsundere, sure, but I really don’t see him accepting Owain; I actually see the opposite.  I feel like Lissa and Owain’s upbeat personalities would grate on his nerves, to the point he’d find them both unbearably embarrassing.  Lissa and Lon’qu also just have MUCH BETTER ships/supports with other characters, and tbh, they both deserve better.  Lissa and Owain deserve someone who gels with their sunshine energy, and Lon’qu deserves a more reserved partner.  Of all Owain’s dad ships, Lonliss is the only one I truly cannot, “see,” and no explanation has made me able to, “see,” it as they both are in canon, and probably never will, tbh.  Every other Lissa ship, I can find some sort of merit, even if I don’t ship it, but when I look at Lonliss, there is just none.  No chemistry, no commonality, no anything that makes them a good couple.  Not in canon, anyway.  I’ve heard a ton of headcanons for it (I’m an Owain stan and this is quite literally his most popular dad, it’s very common), and fanon is fine and dandy, but when it bends canon too much, it just doesn’t sit well with me, and Lon’qu being any sort of okay with Lissa and Owain just bends canon too much, to me.  They’re too hyper, he’s too reserved.  As a final thought, I’m admittedly not a fan of any ship that takes Lissa and Owain away from Ylisstol, and Lon’qu (along with Donnel) does.  Their ending states they live in Ferox, and I just don’t like that.  I like Owain growing up alongside Lucina.  Also, Cynthia and probably Morgan would be in Ylisstol, and Owain canon has the Justice Cabal with them in his youth, so that’s kind of contradictory if he’s born and raised in Ferox.  (I also personally headcanon both Lissa and Owain hating the cold, tbh.  Odin has a line about hating the cold in Anna’s DLC in Fates, and I think Lissa mentions hating snow at some point, too, though I could be wrong.)

Owainigo/Laslodin/Owain-Brady

Grouping these together because I’m equally meh on both.  I can definitely see them, but I don’t like them.  Owain and Inigo do become bros, but I kind of feel like they would still squabble like petty children like their Awakening supports.  It’s more in a brotherly way, though; they start off teasing each other and end up in a slap-hands fight.  I like them as a friendship, just not a romantic ship.

Owain/Brady I have more trouble seeing because their only commonality is their mothers, and their supports make them seem like casual friends at best.  I feel like their mothers is a big part of why they’re shipped, tbh, which is just kind of :T for me.  I can see them if I squint, but it’s not a ship I care for.

The saddest thing is, look up anything spicy for Owain, you’re going to find one of these two in it.  Either these two or...

Odiniles/Leodin/Leotrio Threesome

Oh boy, here we go, SakuMo disliking another popular pairing(s).  Odin and Niles canonically bicker.  Like, they are nasty to each other.  Odin says as much in their A rank.  He says they should try to get along more, but I’m not really sure how well that would turn out.  To be honest, the only thing they really have in common is their loyalty to Leo.  Lacking that, they’re two wildly different people.  I’m not saying that different people can’t work as a couple--it happens all the time--but if you lack at least some common ground, it makes it really hard for a relationship to work.  Devotion to your master isn’t really much common ground.  Given their canon history, dramatically different personalities, and lack of common interests, I just don’t see them being compatible.  Every Odiniles fic I’ve ever read had Niles uncharacteristically understanding of Odin, to the point it didn’t even feel like Niles at all/he was very OOC.  One again, fanon is fine--you do you!--but bending canon too much and/or in ways that don’t make sense to the character is just not my scene.

Leodin is one that I can kind of see, definitely more than Odiniles, which in no way works in my head, but I’m just not a fan of it, generally.  My dislike isn’t as strong as with Odiniles, but it’s still there.  And I’ll just say that I am not into poly, don’t like OT3s, threesomes, etc., so that should sum up my feelings on the Leotrio as an OT3.

Odilise, Lazura, Selbaki, a.k.a. “The Oedipus Complex Ships”

Don’t make the Trio marry their moms, fam.  Odilise is the most egregious one, tbh, because Elise is so much like Lissa and it’s so, so creepy to ship her with Odin.  Never mind that canon Elise is supposed to be like...14-15 (I reject this canon and substitute my own hc of 18, but I digress), and though we don’t know how long the Trio is in Nohr before the start of Fates, we can assume anywhere from six months to a year or two considering they are well-established as retainers, so Odin is probably in his early 20s, at youngest maybe 20-21.  (Granted, using the canon ages makes a lot of ships suspect, especially with the younger characters, but I digress.)  I get that Elise is a good stat mom for Ophelia and gives the “canon” hair, but the ship itself is just problematic on a lot of fronts.  She’s basically his mom, their supports are playful but it def feels brotherly-sisterly (granted most of Elise’s supports do) and throws in the romance literally out of left field in the S rank, and they just look kind of suspect together, fam.  I have unfortunately in my travels across the internet for Owain content seen Odin/Elise porn, and the fact it makes me uncomfortable in a, “this looks really illegal,” way speaks volumes.  And again, yes, I know the same would be true for other ships with Elise, and it’s why there are few I actually like with her.  But Odin/Elise just in particular bothers me because like Lonliss, I see it the most, and it’s made me irrationally bitter toward it.  This one and Lonliss are my two, “hair-trigger rage,” ships.  I see either, I get really annoyed.  I don’t voice this, mind--I keep on scrolling and ignore the content--but it does make me grumpy, lol.  They’re the two I can honestly say I hate instead of just saying I dislike.

Selbaki is a bit lesser, but it basically makes Severa her own grandma, don’t do that. xD  Severa already has a complex with trying to be perfect like her mom, so making her feel the same not only for her husband but also her daughter is just cruel to her.  Give Severa a break, y’all.

Lazura is the least similar, admittedly, but it’s still in the same vein.  Performer marrying a performer.  Of the three, I can tolerate it the most, but it’s still not great for me.

Corrin/Any sibling, including Azura

Look, I get it.  Corrin is, by technicality, not blood-related to any of them, with the exception of Azura, who is their blood-related cousin.  H O W E V E R, just because they find out that they aren’t blood-related to the Nohr siblings doesn’t mean the familial bonds just go POOF.  The Nohr siblings would definitely not be like, “I guess we can bang Corrin now.”  If this were the case, adopted families would never “truly” bond because they aren’t related by blood.  Corrin growing up in Nohr means that they would most likely always see the Nohr siblings as family, and vice-versa.

Hoshido, on the other hand, is a bit trickier.  While it’s true they aren’t blood-related, I want to say Ryoma is the only one who knows?  Like, I think he’s the only one who brings it up in the S Support?  But lacking that, Corrin and the rest of the Hoshido siblings do think they’re blood-related.  Hidden Truths states that Corrin never learned the truth about their real father, nor that Lilith is their sister.  All 3 routes play out with the assumption that Sumeragi was Corrin’s father, and if it’s stated otherwise, it’s maybe only in the beginning as a throwaway line during the Mikoto section.  You could make a plausible argument that the Trio could tell Corrin the truth, since all 3 of them have heart-rank lines where they reveal their real names and that they’re from another world, but that’s leading into possible canon rather than actual canon (and is also why I hc it).  But for all intents and purposes, Corrin thinks they are blood-siblings with the Hoshido fam, so that would make them less likely to pursue them romantically.  And even if they knew, they still all all each other brother/sister.

Azurrin is the trickiest.  It’s only in Revelation that the connection between Arete, Azura’s mother, and Mikoto, Corrin’s mother, is made, afaicr, so in Birthright and Conquest, Corrin technically wouldn’t know they are cousins.  However, Azura would.  Azura always knew everything, because her mother told her about Valla and taught her the traditional song and such.  She most likely knew Mikoto was her aunt.  Even on the off chance she didn’t know, it would still be an awkward down the line thing when they find out they’re cousins.  I know Japan is more lenient on the whole cousin-marriage thing, but...don’t have Shigure and Kana coming out looking like the Habsburgs, please, I beg you, lol.

My rule of thumb: if two characters refer to each other as, “brother,” or, “sister,” at any point, don’t let them fuck.  xD

Kana/Any Romantic/Sexual Ship

Kana is a child.  Stop it.  Stop it right now.  They are a baby.  I’VE SEEN FICS, I KNOW IT EXISTS, YOU SICK FUCKS.  Even aged up feels a little awkward, but I can be a little bit more lenient on that.  I just never will.  Kana is asexual and aromantic in my eyes, lol.

That’s all I can really think of right now; coffee is wearing off, I need a nap, lol.  Once again, please don’t be offended if I dislike a ship you like!  We are all different!  I just wanted to throw this out there on the off chance I do requests again and someone wants one of these written, because I would respectfully decline.  I don’t mean these to be hateful, just sort of venting into the ether in a mildly-exhausted stupor.

Also, you can try to counter me on some of these, but tbh, a few of them, I am stubbornly never going to change my mind, so we’d just go round and round in a circular argument if you tried.  xD  I like what I like and don’t like what I don’t, lol.  I’m not typically a multi-shipper, either, so you’d probably be hard-pressed to get me to shift at all, lol.  I mean that in the most loving way possible, too.