#odazai angst

[drlqra]

The Painter and The Muse

in an AU where dazai is a painter, and oda was a writer-

while ango is a bitch LMAWOAKWJHJDAJK

[artpikuuhnah]

In his eyes, he can still see Oda dancing with him as they always would, the only thing that is missing is the scent of fresh burnt cigarrettes and the warmth of his embrace.

[rayiswatching]

I'm never gonna recover from this

[sunsetsushiii]

Because you are the pulse..

[A quote from my favourite song.]

[st-rayy]

In my mind (you're still here) - A Dazai Centred (plat) OdaZai Drabble

I don't remember when I wrote this... I really love them so much like pls I wish Oda wouldn't have died bc I love him so much AAAAA It's kinda angsty idk LOL

rough word count: 536

─────────────────

In my mind (you're still here)

These walls felt so cold and lonely now that he was gone.

Shattered glass, broken toys, papers scattered over the floor. A little stuffed animal, head ripped open, facing up, close to a nearly okay-looking chair. The joyous sounds of kids laughter were no more to be heard.

There, he stood, alone. With no family to go back to. Those kids were dead after all. And he, who took care of the brunette, offered shelter to a brat like him and went through all the trouble to escape with a suicidal freak, he too, had passed.

When he died, a part of Dazai had died as well. Hours, days, weeks the brunette spent at the grave, mumbling apologies and pleads for forgiveness that he couldn't save him, he who was most important to Dazai.

He should've known, shouldn't have let him do it all alone, convinced him to stay after he lost everything dear to him within a matter of seconds.

Dazai wasn't there when it happened, he had heard the explosion nonetheless. The only thing that was there when the brunette arrived were flames, the smell of smoke and a dream, the dream of a family, turned to dust.

Usually, Dazai shed no tears.

That night was an exception. Dazai had wept himself to sleep, in that small container of his. Thoughts and memories replayed in the executive's head, over and over. Nightmare after nightmare flooding Dazai's mind. The words spoken from his now dead friend stuck on repeat like a broken recorder.

"Be a good man" he said. How could those blue eyes ever see something remarkably close to good in Dazai? What possibly could be good about him? The brunette has so much blood on his hand, walked over so many corpses in his life.

There once was an emptiness in his heart, an all-destroying emptiness eating away on him inside. That emptiness had been filled by the love of a family Dazai could've never imagined to have.

A person who understood him better than anybody else. A person that made him believe that there was a reason to live for after all, even if not for himself. A person that filled this pit of darkness in his heart with warmth and comfort.

All of it shattered into a million pieces. Dazai had known all along that this would happen.

Mori, that bastard, only let Oda stay because he saw something useful in him. And Dazai blamed himself for having dragged Oda into this mess of an organisation.

Now, here he was – staring at a view of the ocean Dazai knew Oda would’ve loved to see himself, and write while watching the colours of the sunset reflect and illuminate on the water’s surface.

Sometimes Dazai tuned out the loud noises of the city behind him.

Sometimes he would stare at the deep blue of the sea while he imagined the redhead would tell him about the book he wanted to write.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he heard Oda’s voice, telling him that he was proud of Dazai and the man he had become.

And each time the brunette did, he ended up smiling to himself while the depth underneath him swallowed him whole once more.

[quilan]

Hehe I wrote something for Odazai Yuri week… Day 2: Photobook!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55417285

[foulfettedone]

this looks so good. God I wish I didn’t have to color and ink this myself but such is my pain lol

[sandstimegender]

so. uh.

[duckduckgoose-exe]

can I be mad abt Odazai shippers rn.

They always use these images

Saying Dazai was Oda’s only friend (which makes me hurt inside btw)

and like. The angst potential of this. Why isn’t he mentioning Ango. Does he hate him. They were clearly friends.

but noooo Odazai shippers love to say ‘Oda and Dazai were friends! Oda wasn’t friends with Ango!’ And I just. Die inside. Are we ignoring the looks they gave each other.

(only friend BECAUSE ANGO ISNT YOUR FRIEND HES SMTH MORE- *gets killed*)

[yarrayora]

I think it's valid to like a ship however you wanna like it but i genuinely get the impression you don't really like farcille at all. And if that is the case would you please stop tagging posts as farcille just to be negative about it?

that's where youre wrong

i actually enjoy farcille! it was originally mehtp for me but after i figured out that i do enjoy making them struggle with their relationship before they actually figure out how to love each other as equals i like them as otp

if you don't believe me, you can check my blogs for my other ships outside of dunmeshi: dazatsu from bsd where atsushi's patience runs thin everytime dazai tries to push him away, odazai also from bsd where i depict dazai as someone who falls in love with the idealized version of odasaku, not the real him, which explains why i love the idea of marcille idealizing falin, right?

i understand my taste is niche, people generally dont want to see their otp going through relationship problems stemming from not being able to communicate well with each other, but i'm not being negative about my own otp just because i want them to experience angst that stems from canon worldbuilding, i'm exploring how their relationship can survive even with their differences

so as spoiler for the ending im planning for my comic: kabru tells falin it's no good to decide whether she should continue her relationship with marcille or not at this point where she's still confused about her feelings. so he suggests falin should go on her travel around the world to see how she would feel when she's away from marcille. "marcille can be overbearing because she experienced almost losing you. i'm not saying what she's doing is right, of course, but i am saying that you'll have an easier time deciding whether you truly love her or not if you know how it feels like to be without her."

and in the end, falin realizes she wants to be with marcille, but she wants to start over first as friends, to get to know each other as proper equals, instead of a senior who took her of her junior, instead of a distressed savior and her damsel. "i don't want to lose you, marcille"

there lol is that enough to convince you i actually care about the ship

[destructive-delight]

How would you rank the bsd light novels?

i haven’t read the most recent ones (in part because i’m fighting with amazon to actually ship them to me since i made the questionable choice to collect all bsd media in english while living in a country that does not have english as an official language and importing shit was already annoying before all of the bullshit and that’s yet another mistake i have to live with) it’s also been a while since i read them and unfortunately my opinion on at least one character has taken a nosedive since then, which might change things after a reread, but as of right now my raking goes as follows:

1.dark era

2.beast

3.55 minutes

4.dazai’s entrance exam

5.fifteen

6.untold origins

7.dead apple

8.stormbringer

4 and 5 are pretty much interchangeable (but i think entrance exam was done dirtier by the anime, so it gets the higher spot).

2 and 3 are very close too. i love the beast universe, i love the angst of it all, i love characters who destroy themselves to achieve their goals (usually it’s dig-two-graves type revenge stories, but destroying oneself for another person is a close second; that’s also why i love higurashi no naku koro ni gou), so beast just ticks all the boxes for me, but i do enjoy 55 minutes as a story more. it’s more exciting! dramatic! the oh shit moment before time travel enters the building!! trashcan dazai is there!! also lore! LORE!!!

in the end beast ekes it out because odazai was my first bsd otp and is still in my top 3 and this ranking is negative percent objective. i’m not ranking with my brain, in fact i’m not ranking at all, i’m just transcribing the whispers coming from deep within the abyss that resides where my heart was supposed to be. and the abyss loves to see. dazai. suffer.

[drlqra]

this HURTS me more than i expected

[curry-and-gunpowder]

Domestic Odazai brain go brrrr (to stave off the angst inherent to the ship).

[sunsetsushiii]

This ship is so canon guys. (Not Odazai, please.. I don't ship Odazai.)

Anyways, about Odazai, in Beast. The truth is, even how hard we try to deny this, Dazai's feelings towards Oda is real.

He didn't create a singularity to meet Oda at first, he just wanted to explore the other world.. which eventually led him to a person that he never met.

I understand, that most of us denied this ship due to the age gap. But in this world, Dazai himself has waited 4 years before he meet Oda. (He's 22 if I wasn't mistaken). That's quite a determination, no?

Even the actors of the Beast! Movie can't deny this vibe from dazai.

So yeah, all this big plans happened, probably because dazai starts to had a great teenage crush towards a redhead and decided to take it seriously.

He knows it was a stupid decision, he knows he'll flunk to a great depression, but it'll give him a greater reason to off himself, no?

Or probably he just wanted an excuse (or a reason) to stay alive... longer. (In case if he accepts him.. he didn't)

So yeah, it's fair.

[joeys-piano]

20 Questions About A Fic Writer

Tagged by @voxofthevoid who is pretty much a writing god as far as I'm concerned. The breadth of his works are wide, and he be doing things for the hell of it.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

230 since 2016.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

841,020. I mostly write oneshots and short stories.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Whatever scratches my writing itch. I used to settle in fandoms when I was younger, but now I wander around and write for whatever catches my interest during that season of my life. It keeps me fresh. I found my insecurities were a lot louder the longer I settle somewhere because it's easier to make comparisons. So I just stroll around. It's a lot simpler life. It keeps me from chasing AO3 stats and lets me write things I wouldn't have the courage to do in other fandoms. So that's nice.

Currently I'm writing for Link Click.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

From Yuri on Ice.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. Often, I leave long replies that are ficlet length at least.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My mind tells me those fics are from the Harry Potter fandom.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe you can tell me because I've written a lot and I don't remember.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Rarely. I've written for ships people have issue with and have not yet received hate for it. It unfortunately happens to my friends and writers I respect, so that sucks. The only hate I've really received was when someone argued with me in the Harry Potter fandom that English Breakfast tea does not exist. And I was so weirded out by the comment that I just deleted the fic for my own mental peace.

Other than that, I don't recall any other hate. I have recieved passive aggressive comments, but those were from years ago. Overall, it's either positive or neutral.

9. Do you write smut?

Maybe once or twice a year. It's not that fun, really.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I used to.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge. I had a request once, but I don't think anything came out of it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes. Two of them for one fandom. My writing style and process is better suited for solo writing. I've tried co-writing with what I do currently, but it doesn't mesh well.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Odazai. I don't write for it currently, but I still enjoy seeing it. Which is something I cannot say for other ships I've done in the past, so that means a lot to me. I might pick up writing for it again if I feel that's my season to do it.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but probably won’t?

Whatever is in my "Not Currently" folder. I'm of the mind that if a story or idea ends up there, it's a doomed attempt trying to resurrect it. So I let it die. Yeah I'm haunted on a constant basis if I think about it, but that's just life I think. Nowadays I write stories I do carve time for, not ones that I want to carve time for. There's a difference.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Introspection. Rhyme. Character voice. Vibes. My willingness to experiment with my writing and challenging myself to strengthen my weak areas. Nowadays, I write the stories that I write to challenge my technical skills as a writer. It keeps me from feeling stagnant and I often start writing things I don't normally write, but this gives me the mental library of how to do certain things because I've done it before.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Heavy plots. Physical affection in a romantic or sexual sense. Fluff because I get violently ill every time I write it (like covid, the flu, it aggraviates my flares up and that's not fun). Angst because it drains a lot of me and I get tired. So, I realize that limits what I can write, so I try to be really good at what I do write.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Personally, I don't do it. If I have a character speaking in another language, I summarize it through narration. If some words are borrowed, like a good example is names of food or certain phrases, I'm fine with putting that in dialogue. When I was younger, I used to italicize that stuff. I don't anymore unless emphasis is directly on those words.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Vocaloid.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

At the moment, nothing comes to mind. While writing them, I'm sure there was a lot of love because I willingly pulled the stories together. But other than that, I don't have a real favorite.

[st-rayy]

!! Info !!

hi hello, my mother-tongue is german so bear with grammar and spelling mistakes please!

I only write FanFiction, Drabbles, Ficlet and Head-Canons for ships (and character) I'm okay with and like, ship list will be named below <3

I write platonic (plat) and romantic (rom) FanFiction so be sure to mention this if you fill a request

I'm a sucker for hurt no comfort and generally angst :3

NSFW content like gore and smut/lemon is okay ; trigger warnings will always be named at the beginning!!

!! Fandoms & Ships !!

Genshin Impact :

VenLuc (rom/plat)

JeanLuc (rom/plat)

DainKae (rom/plat)

Ragbros (plat/fam only)

LynLumi (rom/plat)

DainsLumi (rom/plat)

CyNari (rom/plat)

HaiNo (rom/plat)

GuiLi (rom)

ZhongChi (plat)

KaveTham (rom/plat)

HaiNo (rom/plat)

Collber (plat)

Sumeru Family (plat/fam only)

ScaraHida (plat/fam only)

XiaoEther (plat)

JeanLisa (rom/plat)

DainBina (rom/plat)

Bungou Stray Dogs :

OdaZai (plat)

OdAngo (rom/plat)

Soukoku (rom/plat)

RanPoe (rom/plat)

RanpoSano (plat)

AtsuLucy (rom)

Obey Me! :

SoloDeus (rom/plat)

SoloSimeon (plat)

BarbaTeen (rom)

BarbaMon (rom/plat)

LuciVolo (rom/plat)

BarbaVolo (rom/plat)

SoloTeen (rom)

Twins (plat/fam only)

Other Fandoms :

CyberOwl (rom/plat) - VALORANT

OmenSage (plat) - VALORANT

YoKye (rom) - VALORANT

MiShirou (rom/plat) - Digimon Adventure

TaKari (rom/plat) - Digimon Adventure

AruAni (rom) - Attack on Titan

DanMarch (rom/plat) - Honkai: Star Rail

BokuAka (rom/plat) - Haikyu!!

HuskerDust (rom/plat) - Hazbin Hotel

DabiHawks (rom/plat) - Boku no Hero Academia (non toxic Dabi only)

MiruHawks (rom/plat)

EraserMic (rom/plat)

AkiHaru (rom)

! Note: For any other ship feel free to request though I kindly ask you not to request any pro-ships (i.e. DottoLei or DottoScara)

!! Edit: Thank you to the anonymous person who told me about the Ragbros and Sumeru Family ship name to avoid misunderstanding / conflict :3