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sunkissedscribbles · 2 months ago

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Prejudiced - Chapter Eleven

this is only a part of the series, the previous and next chapters can be found here

a/n: i'm literally in love with this one

word count: 1748

tw: not proofread, maybe swearing? mention of sex, cassie's mental health, usage of alcohol

summary: the yule ball. i don't do spoilers<3

dividers by @chachachannah

✰ "Can I have this dance?"

Ki and I get ready to the ball together, in her room. I'm messing with the makeup, having no talent for it while she's putting the snake-like belt on her dress. We've done both of our dresses – or at least we bought the dresses themselves, a dark green dress for Ki and a lapis-coloured one for me. But they were so plain like that, and we needed to get our attention off the current conflict with the Slytherin boys that we decided to do something extra. So, I made a slit on her shiny dress on the left and she got two snakes slithering down her arms made from a metal-like, stiff material, the same as it is around the waistline of the dress with some mesh attached to it. My dress is made from a heavier material, the skirt part has two layers so it doesn't hug my body as Kiara's does hers, and we made stars on the top area out of glue rhinestones, and I also made opera gloves out of mesh almost the same shade of blue as the dress.

I can still barely believe what they've done, especially Enzo. But for some reason, Mattheo's behaviour bothers me as well, almost just as much. I might be overreacting but try to look at it with the eyes of girls.

Not that they haven't tried apologizing – they have, but what do they expect after what happened? This is a really messy situation and it didn't necessarily have to get to this point. It was the other day when Ki and I were ready to practically burn everything that reminded us of the boys. She found me in my room, throwing shirt after poster on the floor, but she then joined almost immediately, throwing Theo's spare Quidditch hoodie on the pile on the floor. It was just when I took the necklace I got from Enzo for my birthday off the jewellery rack when the boys interrupted our seance to apologize. Theo started, talking mostly to Ki.

Then Enzo tried, but he didn't quite tell the real reason behind his game. But I haven't even looked at Mattheo, so he hasn't tried apologizing, probably feeling too guilty to.

I look at my reflection in the mirror; my skin looks weird with the foundation on. I don't like it. I can't help my gaze wandering to the sweetheart neckline, the fabric held up by two spaghetti straps on each side. My shoulders still look too broad, I state to myself as a mental note, trying to make it look better by moving my hair around but it doesn't do much. My gaze drops to my arms, my biceps and triceps looking too masculine in this light and I can't help but want to cover up. I should've bought a suit.

"God damn," my gaze shifts to Kiara, taking in her appearance in the mirror. "You're gorgeous," I compliment my best friend. This dress hugs her curves perfectly, and the corset top with the deep cleavage it has only compliments her advances. Not to talk about the belt and the layer of mesh that accentuates her waistline. I can't believe she doesn't see just how beautiful she is.

"I'm nowhere compared to you," she smiles at me, a bit disappointed and I stand up and shake my head.

"Don't compare us. No one's perfect," I sigh, instinctively reaching to fidget with the Cassiopeia necklace around my neck – which I have taken off, I realize. It's up in my dorm, in a box under my bed. As I remember how pissed I was at myself for not getting Enzo anything more, well... expensive I can't help but see the disappointed expression of the boy when he saw it on top of the pile the other week.

As Ki and I just stare at each other, I realize, I should be excited because of the ball, shouldn't I? Like, this entire year is just so intriguing with the Triwizard Tournament and all – but I'm not looking forward to the ball now that I'm practically half an hour away from it; I feel uncomfortable in my skin, want to change into some jeans and a big t-shirt and be left alone. Everyone's gonna be laughing at me. They're gonna talk behind my back.

"I was so excited when we bought the dresses," I mutter.

"Me too," Ki sighs and as she sits down on her bed I follow suit, staring at ourselves in the mirror. The sight's depressing; two girls sitting in their best dresses with displeased and uncomfortable expressions on their faces.

"You haven't thought we'd end up like this, have you?" I mutter and she shakes her head.

"No."

"Wished someone would ask you to the ball?"

Her eyes darken as she nods, "Yeah."

After a few seconds of silent fidgeting, she speaks up again. "Got wine."

"Give me some."

The opening dance is chaos because of the Potter-Patil duo but at least it's fun to giggle at with the alcohol coursing through my veins. I can't help my gaze wandering over to the boys during the night, but I see Enzo vanish at some point. How surprising...

Ki and I somehow end up in the company of Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass and Millicent Bulstrode, who are insisting on playing truth or dare, and when Pansy dares Kiara to ask Mr Harper for dance is when I lose sight of my best friend because I can't possibly look at her awkwardly and desperately trying her best to convince or bribe our teacher to dance with her when Pansy's neck looks so rippable.

He's just not the perfect match for her.

I stand outside the castle, trying to list off the things I sense as I feel disassociated again. Maybe the loud music, the uncomfortable feeling I have weighing down on me since putting the dress on and feeling like I have to suck my stomach in, or the effects of the wine leaving my body. Or maybe I'm just tired. Overwhelmed, or confused. The problem is, I have too much on my mind and on my heart to even make out what this all is.

I'm slightly panicked because nothing feels real, again. Then there's the thing that no one has asked me for a dance; I've been standing in a corner all evening, sometimes shifting my weight from one leg to the other, or trying to crack my back. Not even the brash Cormac McLaggen has tried to shoot his shot. Maybe I really am invisible – but haven't I been wanting that all this time? For people to forget about me for a bit, to not be the centre of the rumours all the time since I've been friends with Mattheo?

Now I really got it.

And yet again, pretty isn't pretty enough.

"You're gonna catch a cold," a familiar voice speaks up behind me, making me freeze for a second before turning around.

Mattheo looks into my eyes with guilt shining in his, and a hand offered to me. I look down at it with the cold eyes of a mistrustful cat and then back up at his face. For a moment I think he's going to pull his hand back but he proves me wrong, taking a cautious yet definite step towards me. "Can I have this dance?" he asks with a hopeful and gentle tone and it actually feels nice to have him ask me to dance.

I finally nod and he takes my hand with a slight yet victorious smile and leads me back inside the castle and into the Great Hall. I first stiffen up when he places a hand on my waist but then try to calm myself down when his other finds mine and starts to lead me in a slow dance. My heart nearly stops at the thought that I'm actually experiencing this, and I soon get comfortable enough to look Mattheo in the eyes, searching those gorgeous, gorgeous brown irises.

"You look beautiful," he says quietly in a calm yet sincere tone and I don't have to try to believe him. He spins me around and I smile lightly as my hand ends up in the same position in his again after the full 360 degrees of a turn, as if they were designed to be like that, perfectly fitting together. He pulls me closer and his other hand travels onto the small of my back as he speaks truthfully, apologetically, "I was an idiot for making that bet, I know. And I don't expect you to trust me again as much as you have before, but you must know that the thought of taking your Kiara to bed has never ever crossed my mind. I'm not that big of a prick. And I had no idea you were in Enzo's book either."

I listen to what he has to say intently. I know he's telling the truth, and I know I should've listened to him sooner. Let him say what he had.

"All I have to say is that I'm really, really sorry. If I could I'd take it all back and turn time back. Do it differently because our friendship means more than a stupid bet," he pulls me even closer and I rest my chin on his shoulder with a small yet contended smile.

Suddenly, 'Pictures Of You' by The Cure starts playing and I lift my head. I can see the smirk on his lips, even if I don't look at him directly. "This is Muggle music," I frown.

"Yeah, I listen to The Cure," he chuckles and I look back into his eyes.

I smile half-heartedly but my heart yet again seems to skip a beat, "It's your doing, isn't it?"

"Maybe," he grins, but it's not the obnoxious one. It's the one that says 'I admire you' as his eyes shine brighter than a starry night sky, purer than the freshly fallen snow. Now I'm the one pulling him closer as I rest my chin on his shoulder again and my arms slither around his rest around my waist.

We still haven't talked about the kisses we've shared before but maybe it's better left like that for tonight. Because this moment is to be remembered forever. Because it's perfect.

✰ There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more Than to feel you deep in my heart

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