#oc gonnakick ur-ass

[nine-blessed-hero]

Just had an immensely funny thought RE Kicks trying to pawn off the amulet - he dismantles it. The chain, goldwork, and little emeralds, sapphires &ct all get pawned off incrementally. By the time he finally gets to talk to Jauffre it's nothing but the Red Diamond which Won't Leave.

Jauffre: Alright, leave the amulet with me so it's safe. Kicks: The what? Jauffre: The Emperor's necklace...? Kicks: ... Kicks: Okay but you've gotta be cool. Jauffre: ??? What did you do? *Kicks gives over the diamond* Jauffre *consternated*: What the fuck did you do to it?!

[nine-blessed-hero]

K'Rin is very firmly in 1950s style suits. Crisp leg creases, trilby, starched button-down, wingtips and pencil necktie. Think Peggy Carter from the MCU.

Rowan is sloppy late 90s/early 00s. Slogan t-shirts, varsity jackets, bootcut blue jeans with turn-ups. Xe thinks sleeveless turtlenecks and black jeans with heavy necklaces and blingy belts is the height of fashion.

Aderyn, being in a Modern AU from 2015, doesn't count for this question. She's either wearing tac gear or whatever she found in a charity shop bargain bin.

Talis the Baker is probably Victorian-esque. We're talking fancy chefs' whites, starched to perfection.

Kicks would fit a smart-casual suit that were all the rage in 2010. Plain t-shirts, slacks and blazers with blisteringly white training or canvas shoes. We're talking dotcom silicon valley types before the bust.

everyone. tell me what vintage fashion era your TES OCs belong in. i need to know this for science

[nine-blessed-hero]

Fate Hath Bound this Jewel to Me

CW: Brief mention of vomiting An explanation of why Kicks still has the Amulet of Kings long after Emperor Uriel's assassination. Also available on AO3

Drip. Condensation splashes down on the mossy green head. Slitted eyes flicker. Drip. Another drop of condensation collects on the white marble ceiling, sailing down to crash into silvered hair. Wide nostrils flare. Lips twitch around chipped and stained tusks. Drip. Water drops onto the scarred cheek, sliding into the eye. The orc paws at it, groaning. He sits up, blinking. Reaching up, he gingerly rubs at the side of his head where the hair is matted with blood, and winces.

The orc scrubs at his face, and blinking looks around. He sits on cold steps made of marble. Pale light from clusters of crystals show him only walls of more marble, no windows. A subterranean Ayleid ruin, then. Swinging gently in the breeze from above is a blooded spiked mace, as big as his torso. No need to guess who's blood that is… Or maybe there is, because on the steps below sprawl the bodies of a khajiit and a dunmer. They still ooze. He must have finished what the trap started, but whatever weapon he used is lost down the well of spiraling stairs. He hopes to every Prince they were bandits, not bounty hunters or fellow Guild members. Because the last thing he remembers is doing press-ups in his cell under the Imperial City to block out the incoherent ramblings of the prat in the cell opposite. What's happened between then and now is a mystery, and given his attire is still the rags the guards swapped for his good armour, the orc strongly suspects he wasn't given any pardons.

He checks about himself. There's a sack tied across his chest which contains a few coins, a paper of his particulars, stating his name as 'GonnaKick ur-Ass', and a chain with a red gem set on a gold mount which is nearly as large as his hand. There's a flicker of memory as he looks at the necklace, but it's gone as fast as the fluttering of a moth's wing. The necklace is tucked away again. He assumes he was here to get something a little more sturdy than these prison rags, so best be about it. Kicks – as fine a name as any – descends to sort over the bodies below.

–

Evening is falling, turning the waters of Lake Rumare dark as ebony as the sun vanishes behind the Imperial City walls. Kicks sits outside Vilverin in the bandit's camp, attired in adequate iron armour and eating a bowl of thin mutton stew he found bubbling over the embers of the fire. He thinks hard as he chews, thinks about what's happened to him and what he should do next. All that does is make his poor, bandaged head ache, so he lies down on one of the bandit's bedrolls.

Curiosity has Kicks pulling the necklace out of the sack to watch the flightlight dance over the jewel's facets. Strangely, the flickering flames remind him of Chorrol's mighty oak. He thinks maybe that's where he should go next. That is the location of the Fighters Guild headquarters, and he'll need to explain his absence to the Guildmaster and her second. Hopefully they don't boot him out of the guild for this indiscretion.

But first, he thinks, he should try and pawn this thing. It looks expensive. If he can get a few bob for it, he can nip into Fire and Steel before the Guildhouse and maybe Rasheda can kit him out with something better. Briefly, Kicks thinks about breaking the necklace apart – selling the small gems and the gold frame separate to the big ruby would make things easier – but then something tells him it's probably worth more as one piece.

Tomorrow, he'll see if he can find that shifty bloke they talk about in the Bloated Float, maybe he can help...

–

"Nah, mate. Don't think I can help ya here," says Shady Sam. The bloke is the epitome of 'criminal', seemingly without a shred of irony to the fact. Kicks found him loitering in the lee of a wall buttress not far from the city stables and showed him the pendant. "Sure, it's a beaut, but even at a glance I can tell you I won't be able to fence the whole thing. Couldn't even pony up enough for your, eh, deposit. Could try prying one of them emeralds off and I can fence that for a start. Or the chain. I could give you payment upfront for that." "Alright. What can you give me for the chain?" "Attaboy." Coins change hands. It's not as much as Kicks would like, but it's enough to get him a good weapon instead of the mace that's little more than nails in a stick. "You want me to have a go at getting one of 'em liddle gems off?" "No." Kicks' conviction is strong, even if he isn't sure why. "The pendant's worth more sold as one." Sam shrugs. "'S your choice, innit, mate. But I can't help yer then." He sniffs and thumbs his nose. "Maybe try the chick at Divine Elegance. She's definitely got the septims for something like this." "Thanks."

The pendant goes back into the sack, and Kicks wanders around City Isle, back towards the Ayleid ruin. Something's telling him he ought to cut his losses and leave for Chorrol before it gets much later. Something is telling him he shouldn't go back into the City – especially not the way he's planning. But there are less guards at the North East gate than the main West entrance, and if he goes via the Bastion walkway he won't have to troop across half the city, as he would from the South East gate. In balance it's safer, but still there's that nagging feeling in his gut…

–

Much as the name suggests, Divine Elegance is a genteel store – neatly-kept, with intricate tapestries on the walls and plush rugs on the floor. Mannequins stand around in luxurious furs and velvets, while glittering adornments are securely tucked away in display cases. Kicks feels like a minotaur in a crockery shop. The proprietor, an altmer decked out in a fine red dress, looks him coolly up and down as he approaches the desk. "How can I assist you?" she asks. "I'm told you buy jewellery?" "If it's the right jewellery, yes." She lifts her chin. "What do you have?" The altmer's eyebrows shoot up as Kicks places the pendant on the counter. "How intriguing," she murmurs, picking it up to study. "An exquisite replica… Yes, very high quality." "What can you give me for it?" She lowballs him hard enough even he can tell what she's offering is a joke. Kicks picks it back up, twisting as if to leave. "If I'd wanted to be insulted, I would have gone to the Waterfront." "Alright." The proprietor raises her hands in surrender, and gives him a far more substantial offer. Enough that he could walk into A Fighting Chance and buy a full set of good Orcish armour, a new warhammer, and have change left over for a horse and barding. His head spins. It would be more money than he'd ever have in his lifetime. He starts to put the pendant down on the counter. He starts to say that the deal is done. Something stops him. The words die on his lips. His hand freezes in mid-air. The proprietor raises a manicured eyebrow. All he has to do is uncurl his fingers and everything he ever wanted is his for the taking. Drop it and walk out with a jingling sack. At the edge of hearing comes a litany of overlapping voices: No. No. Stop. Don't. You can't. You mustn't. The last is a voice he thinks he recognises… His feet take a step back of their own accord, sinking into the thick rug. "I-" His voice cracks. "I changed my mind."

Then he's outside, around back, emptying his guts into the shrubbery. His head pounds, like he's had five too many on a night out. Like someone's trying to ram a pickaxe through his skull. "Citizen, what seems to be the problem?" Kicks closes his eyes, trying to compose himself. "No problem, Officer. Musta ate something rotten." It could well be true. Breakfast was a slice of dubious salted ham on a chunk of stale bread and an overly squishy pear. He stands, fingertips against the wall. The guard's eyes rake him over. "Do you require assistance back to your lodgings?" His tone is neither friendly nor helpful. "No. Thank you. I'm just around the corner." The guard assesses him again then steps to the side. Kicks staggers past, day-dreaming of a cool pillow and a bed in the Chorrol Fighters Guild barracks.

[nine-blessed-hero]

I picked my battlemage orc, Gonna-Kick ur Ass's game back up on Saturday (the Gent had a prior commitment and the weather was too nasty to do anything outside).

Having him be amnesiac is great because I cannot remember wtf I was doing the last time I launched his game. He was sat at the Chorral Fighter's Guild table for breakfast (I've been roleplaying a bit more in this game, so actually eating food items for three main meals, sleeping at night etc), and speaking to Oreyn revealed Kicks had to pick between going to Cheydinhal or Anvil for further contracts.

As an orc, Kicks would feel more comfortable in Cheydinhal (and also I fancied doing the Corruption and Conscience quest) so I headed towards the main gate. On the way out Kicks was distracted by a man seeming distressed running into the Grey Mare, so went to investigate.

Within, he meets Valus Odiil worrying about his boys trying to defend their farm but also runs back into Guilbert Jemane. The Jermane brothers revealed that the exact location of their family farm had been lost, and could Kicks help them find it? He likes the brothers... well, he likes Guilbert at least, so off we went, back to the fighter's guild, to talk to Sabine Laul who knows where the farm is. She obliges, so it's off to Weatherleah and some orc killing.

Once the brothers were safely ensconced on the farm and Kicks had a good night's rest, off we went, bound for Cheydinhall.

Kicks is not good at wayfinding. Kicks has trouble remembering the cardinal directions. Kicks got lost a lot trying to ride from Weatherleah through the Great Forest to the Red Ringroad (I was feeling tired and a bit stupid). No worries, we eventually made it to the road, and killed a couple of opportunistic bandits on the way up to Sercen, the Ayleid ruin at the point where the Silver rd meets the Red rd.

Kicks was ready for the bandits. Kicks was not ready for the minotaur. As the first of the arrows struck his horse, he dismounted and ran towards the ruin. Then there was a whinny behind him, and he whirled to see his horse being attacked by the minotaur. The horse ran off. The minotaur ran off. The bandits ran off. Kicks stood stupidly in the middle of the road for a moment, before lumbering off after them. But he was in heavy plate, carrying the spoils of previous battles and a heavy mace. There was no chance he was ever going to catch up in time.

By the time he arrived, his horse was dead, one of the bandits had been killed by the minotaur, the minotaur was on its last legs and easily dispatched and the bandit archer was hiding in fear until Kicks turned up and then took her out too. So there he is, not even noon, and his day is screwed. He has to walk the rest of the way to Cheydinhall (part of the RP is trying not to reload saves and no quick travel).

Stoicly, off he trundles and makes the Roxey in by noon, so he stops in for lunch. There, he learns about some mage terrorising the area. But alas, there's no time to help; he needs to make it to Cheydinhal. However, while eating, he does run into Pranal, the Heavy Armour trainer. After pestering Pranal with ale and dinner, the retired soldier gives in and says that he'd train Kicks on the condition he finds a nice set of silver glasses and a carafe for the woman Pranal is interested in. It's a fair trade, so Kicks takes it.

With that settled, Kicks makes his way to Cheydinhal. Halfway up the Blue rd, with night closing in, it starts to rain. The rain soon turns into a rolling thunderstorm, so it's a cold, wet, tired and thus very grumpy orc who meets another pair of bandits almost outside the city gates. Needless to say, they do not last long.

The porter greets Kicks with a towel and a smile as he trails mud and rainwater into the Fighter's Guildhouse. Upstairs, he sheds his armour and changes into nearly dry clothes. A hot dinner and some good conversation go someway to chasing away the woes of the day, and Keld tells Kicks that the horsemaster outside the city has beasts for sale.

Come morning, it's still drizzling and damp, but Kicks makes a good sale to Borba gra-Uzgash of the crap he's been toating around and forgets all about bitching Keld was making about the fines once Burz gro-Khash gives him his next assignment; he's to go back to Leyawin county, to a village called Water's Edge. On his way out of town, he stops to enquire about the cost of a horse but discovers that, even with the sales he made, 5000 gold is still too rich for his blood. He'll be making his way to Leyawiin on foot...

[nine-blessed-hero]

Thinking about writing a fic about Kicks, his amnesia and why he doesn't just pawn the Amulet of Kings, since it's a very expensive looking item, he doesn't remember why he has it, and he needs armour, damnit.

I'm thinking it should have a bit of One Ring energy, subtly influencing him. He comes right up to selling it, but when the time comes to hand it over... he just can't. The souls of a hundred dead Septims won't let him.

[nine-blessed-hero]

GonnaKick ur-Ass, also known as Kicks, is an orc who facetiously told his arresting guard he'd kick their asses when they asked for his name, so they (also facetiously) wrote that down on his papers. Only they forgot to change the papers, so now that's his "name" XD

When I played morrowind the first time, I had a save called Dru the Light Thief. It was dedicated to where I'd lifted every single torch, lantern, and candle I could find, and packed them all in Drarayne Thelas' house. I had so many at one point that trying to enter her house crashed the game XD

what is the funniest character name you ever used in an elder scrolls game?

mine is either not-on-the-list or aims-at-knees

[nine-blessed-hero]

Hail and well met, Traveler

– THE BASICS –

Name: Dru Age: >40 Gender: Female-ish Origin: UK Timezone: UTC/ BST (UTC+1)

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TESIV: Oblivion Fanfiction - Genderless HoK

TESIV: Oblivion Fanfiction - Haven’s Ember

TESIV: Oblivion Fanfiction - Talis the Baker (Slice of life)

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TESIV: Oblivion Fanfiction - Other

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➼ Here is a list of my Main Original Characters (links through to their About posts):

Kellandra Rhiannon Lorinda Rue (tag: #oc k'rin l'rue)

Rowan (tag: #oc rowan)

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➼ Last updated: 26 Jan 2025

[nine-blessed-hero]

Oh, my. What a damned good question.

K'Rin - Loath. Despise. She wouldn't even touch Instagram or Twitter with a 10-ft barge pole if you gave her the option. That said, she would do it if you told her it was her duty to Martin/ the Empire/ the Divines (delete as appropriate), but she would hate it the whole time (she wouldn't even complain, just silently stew and suffer).

Rowan - Xe might have a bit of fun with it at first, but it would quickly lose the novelty and xe would eventually just ghost the account. Satellite accounts would spring up, reporting on xir whereabouts with increasing weirdness of location and activity, until it's obvious that xe's fucking with everyone for xir own amusement.

Talis - Talis is like Amaury Guichon, aka The Chocolate Guy. As long as he doesn't need to talk and someone else deals with ~everything else~, it might be fun. He just wants to share his passion for patisserie. Rindir would make so much money, and eventually, there'd be a whole thing about how Rindir is taking advantage of the sweet little baker boi. Rindir would be cancelled/ doxxed etc, Talis and Ysbth would need new jobs... It would be a mess.

Aderyn - It's really hard to be a sneaky little sneaker if everyone knows your face, but the free stuff does have its appeal... Ultimately though, no.

Arianrhod - Yes. She would be all over that. She'd be quite happy with the MLM schemes, she's got the whole suburban housewife vibe. Not only would she enjoy it and be good at it, I think she'd be reasonably popular too.

Kicks - As the walking embodiment of "he a little confused, but he got the spirit", he would enjoy it. But only because he's getting free stuff and he doesn't actually know what's going on (someone else would be managing him).

some thoughts on TES OC development. i'm a big believer that people who crave fame are generally assholes. take it as a given that there are degrees to this and that "asshole" is a liquid term and not some inherent moral cateogry.

the elder scrolls protagonists become famous over the course of their quests: the eternal champion, nerevar reincarnate, the hero of kvatch, the dragonborn. legendary titles that become part of the lore even if the names and faces are lost. they begin as prisoners, the fame is not really a choice. one two skip a few, we all get the symbolism here, but if you're trying to understand the core of your character, ask yourself:

would they, in any way, enjoy being an instagram influencer?

[nine-blessed-hero]

You’re probably fine now, but I thought I’d contribute just in case you still wanted to hear about random characters.

GonnaKick ur-Ass is my newest TES OC. Kicks is an orc who got thrown into the Imperial jail for being “drunk and disorderly” on the Bloated Float; and being drunk, made a joke of his name which the jailers decided to take seriously leading to his papers now carrying the joke name. Technically he’s the Hero of Kvatch, but not for the normal reasons. The moment he left the prison after being entrusted with the Amulet of Kings, he got a conk on the head and has completely forgotten why he’s got this random piece of jewelry. He was headed to Leyawiin for the Fighter’s guild and happen to pass Kvatch. Being the kind soul he is, he offered to help. Then, once Kvatch was saved, continued his merry way to Leyawiin.

Rowan, my original Oblivion OC, has a soft-spot for Bravil. As it’s the town with the cheapest multi-room house, it was the first place xe bought. Xe intended it just to be a stop-gap, but started acquiring planters and other flower decorations for the place, and then decided that actually, it wasn’t too bad. Xe’s grown rather fond of this much-reviled town since then.

. would yall mind infodumping abt ur ocs to me or just stuff ur into i need to stay distracted for a bit