#obvs this is a dumb thing to be annoyed with and people can do whatever they want forever but i can be a hater about it

[pomodoriyum]

oughhh its a perfectly fine interpretation (except for the massive misreading of the text) but i hate itttttttttt

[avo-kat]

sometimes i see a Bad Take, then hover over the ops name and see their bio and almost always it says that the op is 19 or 20. so instead of getting annoyed i just scroll past.

im not saying young people are stupid, but this gives me an explanation how somebody would come to this conclusion. they simply havent yet learned enough about topic x and its understandable why they have come to this opinion actually, because i have had bad takes when i was younger, too. (and still do obv.)

its just always a bit... i see a post with a lot of notes, see its a bad take, feel myself getting angry or annoyed, but then i check out the bio and go, ah, i see how it is.

theres no point to this, but this happened a few times now and it makes me think just what a strange creation tumblr is.

when i make my lil text posts it feels like im posting into the void. i dont really think about how all these people that are following me are going to read this and may have their own thoughts about it. and may even answer. and i almost definitely do not imagine one post of mine suddenly getting thousands of notes and a lot of people from completely different "bubbles" seeing what i wrote and having a multitude of different reactions to it. its very strange.

there was one poll made by somebody on tumblr that a friend of mine shared on discord because it was kinda funny, because the poll was so obviously ignoring large demographics on tumblr - but then i realized, well, duh? if i make a silly poll for my circle of mutuals/followers, im def not thinking how some other fandom circles will react to my poll. if i mainly interact with ppl with my interests, especially newer fandoms that have mainly younger fans, i would prob not think to include things i dont even *know about*. me asking what anime was the first anime my circle watched and listing anime that i *know of* and that have been *the first* i was aware due to my age does not mean im a stupid, naive, exclusionist dumb kid or whatever.

idk. i guess what im saying is just another repeat of: not every post is adressing u.

tumblr is a strange creation of private blogs connected to thousands of other private blogs and u can simply "copy" somebody else's post on your own blog and everybody sees that. its weird.

[mbat]

"natural world order" 🤢 shut upppp

btw i forgot to elaborate earlier on like. why the 'you have to choose one or the other' thing is really annoying. like thats such an easy metaphor for being something like mixed, and like... real life people dont have to 'choose' like its life or death... and one half of them especially doesnt 'take over' if they dont choose or something. people can choose which side to lean into more, or both at the same time, but no matter what itll always be a part of them. its not something that can be taken away or whatever. obviously these shows dont consider this when they do this dumb trope but whatever

its just such a nothing conflict. like its undeniably manufactured, which is silly when its ALL manufactured because its fiction, but it feels manufactured, and thats the last thing you want when writing something.

like, ive said before how for example in steven universe hes literally mixed species and, well first off he doesnt ever have to choose like characters in this show and another do, but he has the opportunity to explore these sides and even neglect the other if thats how things go, and they do. but even when he goes all in on one side of himself, hes still that other side. him dedicating himself entirely to gem stuff for several years never stopped him from still being half human. and even when he decides he wants to finally explore his human side, it wont stop him from still being half gem

i dont know how to explain it in a way that sounds right lol. its just such a shit conflict. also i forgot to say but they added yet another element to it where they made it so when the 'blendeds' as they call them choose which side to be, they forget they were ever the other thing ?? which makes it even more dumb??

i guess what im forgetting to say is WHY IS THAT HOW IT WORKS.!!!!!

is it just the biology they evolved(were created?) with? did something make it that way? is their biology fighting itself in some sort of incompatability way? is the monster dna stronger ??? is there some dumbass council that made it like this ??? like. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE BY 16 THAT IS SUCH AN ARBITRARY AGE that is such classic kids show stuff

theyre not gonna answer that though, i just know it. i mean, in wowp, the other show that does this, they never explained it either. they just said 'oh only one sibling from every family can be a wizard!' and left it at that, and when a character rebeled because she was rightfully like 'this rule is super stupid literally why does it exist' THEY KILLED HER ON SCREEN !!!!

at least in that show we know it was a rule made by a council, a really shitty one at that

dont @ me about me taking kids shows too seriously, im not actually mad or anything ajfjshf im just SUPER bored and i like fantasy a lot and this show has tropes that are soooo fucking dumb and boring

also these kids dont have discord i just know it, thats so weird. like this show is from last year, and there was a line where they were like '[the lead in the play] texted all of us this thing' and the main girl is like 'i didnt get the text' and its like... do yall not have a server for this? at the very least a group chat on SOMETHING? i mean i was never a theater kid but youre all in a group doing something coordinated, at least have some sort of group communication for it?

by the way one of the characters unironically texted someone else the word 'kewl'. in 2023. who has used that word in the last decade. who. and they keep saying stuff like 'obvs/obvi' and 'jelly' out loud along with other words that.... why

i hate how modern fantasy ALWAYS. hides nonhumans from humans. like it makes for an interesting conflict the first few times you see it but its... just so overdone holy shit. i would kill to see a modern fantasy show where that isnt a thing lmao

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

[majimasleftasscheek]

Got any Kazumaji headcanons?

OH BOY DO I

but that's such a broad topic hrmmm I'll just give a few under the cut for the time being

if you want me to go into more specific hcs, feel free to ask ;)

I like the idea that they're gushy mushy in love and hold hands and pork each other behind dumpsters but they're still frenemies or rivals or whatever the fuck cuz I like making them harass each other. There's fluff but also a mutual sense of animosity (loving) because their personalities are just so polar opposite. Prolly ooc but my content and preferences are a lil more on the funny lighthearted stuff than angst - which I like don't get me wrong but I leave that to other people

I think Majima is very protective (and clingy) over Kiryu, not because the guy can't handle himself obvs but he just can't lose more people he cares about. He'll do anything for Kiryu, even at the cost of his own personal safety and Kiryu takes advantage of that, whether or not he's actually aware of doing so. Kiryu however is a lil quicker to deny Majima depending on what he wants but is equally just as loyal

Kiryu is protective tho knows Majima's fine on his own so he often leaves him to his own devices. He's comforted that Majima's someone who he doesn't have to save or worry about constantly - in the damsel in distress sense. I'm sure he'd worry about Majima getting off'd all the time of course. He'd prolly be more concerned about Majima's domestic life such as if he slept or took care of an injury properly. Maybe hits up Saejima to see how Majima is doing since Saejima's very upfront

both of them are touched/emotionally starved people so in private they're very intimate but they like to keep it aloof in public, especially Kiryu who gets easily embarrassed. Majima doesn't give a rat's ass but will tone it down if he gets his ass beat so either way he wins. Majima knows when to get serious tho and it can sometimes surprise Kiryu how focused he can get

when it comes to heavy shit, Kiryu's more open to talking about it than Majima who sorta just clams up. It takes a lot to get anything substantial outta Majima and Kiryu respects when he doesn't wanna talk. He figures something's wrong when Majima's more jokey than usual and they bond over unresolved trauma lol. When something’s bugging Kiryu, he’s usually off doing his whole lone wolf bullshit and Majima has none of it or at least, works from the sidelines since he knows how stubborn Kiryu is

nsfw stuff:

I like to write them as switches for my awful fics lol but I have a strong fondness for bratty power bottom Kiryu who likes to please and be pleased. He can get a lil aggressive when he allows himself to be a bit selfish and Majima loves using that to instigate fights with sexy conclusions. I like to think Majima both enjoys having control and getting his ass destroyed. He gets a kick outta convincing Kiryu to let loose every now and then

Majima's obvs the weird one but Kiryu's also adventurous and just needs a lil encouragement to try new things. He feels good about trying out freaky stuff since Majima would more than likely be 100% on board for anything. Kiryu doesn't instigate often but Majima's very open and supportive when he does so Kiryu doesn't get scared off but will definitely make fun of him if he's being naïve or dorky

they (me lmao) got a thing for humiliation or at the least, breaking down whatever façade each other puts up. Majima's a big fan of edging and cucking Kiryu until he's angry begging. Kiryu likes to play with Majima's impatience and will sit around playing dumb just to hear this grown ass man piss 'n moan about it. They both think each other have very annoying qualities but poking fun is the best part

[vinnival]

Hey! Hope its ok if i ask for a madcom matchup :)!!! I didnt see anything about them being closed but if they are feel free to ignore this lol..

Anywhosies! I'm a 5'4 guy but I have a mean slouch so it probably makes me a bit shorter, I have messy dark brown hair that reaches my mid back. I just look tired always lol. I also hve like. Pretty small hands.. I think tht shit is so embarrassing but all of my friends love it, they call me baby hands nd shiz its so humiliating😭.

I think I'm an overall friendly person, I love makin friends nd talking to people although I may end up talking your ear off and end up getting annoying, I love telling jokes nd tryin to make people laugh. My humour is pretty dumb tho, nd I get kind of loud when messing around. I can be very temperamental, I can get angry/annoyed very easily 😭 I just tend to be very emotional all together💔💔 m emotionally energetic and physically lazy x_x . I'm a very touchy person I like being able to playfully jab someone or wrap my arms around them etc etc. I'm a big night owl and I don't get as much sleep as I should. I'm very protective of my friends 😎 I'd get in a fight for them LMFAOO. I'm pretty hardheaded I think, I'm also just.. Not the smartest lol.

One of my main hobbies is drawing :) I love making art nd I usually end up drawing up gifts for my friends. I also enjoy playing video games but I'm usually not good at them at all... I used to take karate classes so I think im pretty good at fighting :). I love listening to music but I feel as if my music taste is drastically different to the point where its kind of embarrassing (frm death grips to planet booty like what is this..😕)

Alright i hope that is good enough XO.. I hope u have a good day or night! Take care❤!

Aw hell yeah dude thats a good amount of info! Lets me match you easier :) enjoy!

You got a match! You're matched with...

Sanford!

<3

Living that #hitchiker life

You were trying to catch a ride to anywhere that wasn't home when a car stops for you

"Do you know how to fight?"

One of the two guys asked you this

"Uh... what the fuck? I mean, yeah, but-"

"Great, get in."

You got in obviously

"I'm Sanford, and that's Deimos."

Deimos waved at you nonchalantly, his cig nearly flying away into the wind

This was just before their official designs were given to them btw

You told them about yourself and they did the same, and Deimos really liked your humor!

Sanford made you laugh a couple of times, and you appreciated that

You two managed to beat the shit out of many grunts

When Sanford donned the Official Clothes, goddamn you fell hard and fast

This man just decided to be shirtless and vulnerable all the damn time

How could you not ???

You lived in the base alongside Sanford, Hank, and Deimos

You all had your own routines and habits that seemed to just slide right in place with each other

Most of the time you ended up crossing paths with/being around Sanford (you thanked whatever higher power there was for the blessing)

His personality fits nice with yours, he knows how to keep calm in most situations and would be there with you to help you through emotional swings

He loves watching you draw, he thinks your art is so cool

You two also love playfully arguing while you draw, sometimes turning into friendly karate matches

You'd usually beat him obvs

Sometimes you would crack jokes while fighting and he'd start laughing, leaving you with an opening

He doesn't mind the exploit,, the jokes are funny

You draw things for everyone, but mostly San because you're around him the most

You four were super close and relied on each other to live, all good in your own ways

You in particular taught everyone some obscure defensive moves from karate

When Sanford asked for you to help him privately one day, of course you agreed to help

He had his balance totally off on his stances

Which means you had to get up close and personal to help him correct his posture.

his skin was so w a r m . . .

For a man that was shirtless 25/8 you'd think he'd be bone cold

Mf was a toaster oven

"How the fuck are you a literal heating pad you never wear a shirt"

"Guess I'm just hot like that"

"Hell yeah you are"

You both laughed off the retort but man did something change

You noticed his cheeks were just a little tinted

Ngl so were yours

You both locked eyes while you tilted his arms into the correct position he needed to be in

He stared at you, and you smiled

Then, you quickly leaned forward and pecked him on the nose, then congratulated him on the correct pose and promptly left the room

Man.,nfndfbdm -sanford, on the floor

You two started dating the next day ofc 😩

Sorry this was a couple days late! I got a job recently and I've been training, plus I've been meaning to hang out w my bf!! Its been hectic but I hope you liked it op <33

[agendratum]

OK so, i wanted to put my two cents in on these two topics:

1. the statement i once saw, made by someone, who, i’m not sure, was reading the same novel as i am. it went somewhere along these lines: “the novel implies that in his first life wei wuxian wasn’t interested in lan wangji or even in men at all”

2. the general idea that wei wuxian (specifically novel!wwx, i mean, obv all of this is just about novel!wwx or novel!lwj) is oblivious dummy, who can’t see what’s happening in front of his own nose, doesn’t understand not only lwj’s feelings towards him, but also not even self-aware enough to understand his own 

(idk if it was obvious from my previous posts on this website, but i’m a wei wuxian apologist so you should probably know that before i proceed)

i’m gonna quote the paragraph that prompted me to think about all this, it’s worded a bit differently in russian, but the point still stands:

Although in the past few days, he felt that Lan WangJi probably regarded him highly and differently from other people, he’d never dared to guess just how ‘highly’ it was or if ‘differently’ was the kind that he thought. Wei WuXian never thought of being confident as bad, and in fact prided himself on such a thought. Legends often gossiped about the YiLing Patriarch’s allegedly amorous life, but in reality, he’d never experienced such hectic feelings before. He used to think that Lan WangJi was too easy of a person to understand, but things were different now. He feared that he was the only one who thought of them that way, that it was all his own wishful thinking, that he was too confident for his own good.

lets start with the first statement and go waay back in time. first of all, the idea that wei wuxian wasn’t interested in lan wangji is kinda ridiculous to me, as this boy spent the entire time he was in gusu summer camp trying to get lan wangji’s attention, annoy him into friendship with him, he gifted him rabbits goddamnit. he had a whole fanclub of boys going on in gusu summer camp, he had girls in the nearby town swoon by him, and yet he focused his attention on lan wangji, but clearly he wasn’t interested, right. 

and then during sunshot they kept arguing and having bad experiences with each other, and yet wei wuxian couldn’t stop himself from being drawn to lan wangji, initiating conversation, that situation with the headband, that time he invited him to the inn. considering that every one of their encounters would end pretty badly, there was no reason for him to try again and again to build that friendship that he told himself wasn’t even possible. and yet he kept trying, and then in yiling he invited lan wangji to have a dinner with him, but of course he wasn’t interested. 

second of all, and it kinda bothers me a lot, actually, he wasn’t interested in men in his first life? yeah no shit. for starters, how old was he? 15? 17? you know, not all of us came to terms with our sexuality when we were digging up shit in a sandbox. it can happen later. it can happen much later. but what caught my attention in that paragraph i quoted above “but in reality, he’d never experienced such hectic feelings before.” was wei wuxian not interested in men in his first life? sure! according to the novel, he also wasn’t much interested in women! was it ever a consideration, that perhaps, for a teenager going through war and also shitload of other terrible events, romantic endeavors might have not been a priority? sure, he had an image, he had a reputation of a shameless dumbass to protect, but do we not know it was a pretence? it’s almost like characters like nie huaisang don’t exist. 

but also specifically for a teenager who was already experiencing his first crush, that he didn’t acknowledge much, because, once again, he had a lot of other shit to worry about

this brings me not very smoothly to the second statement. and i wanna start by giving some more credit to wei wuxian (who isn’t as dumb as he sometimes seems) and take some credit from lan wangji (who is a bit dumber than i thought he is), which brings them to the same level of idiots in love. 

wei wuxian doesn’t understand what lan wangji is feeling towards him. yeah. to be fair, adult lan wangji did a lot of things, some of which were more obvious than the others. but lan wangji wasn’t always like that. if i recall correctly, he spent almost the entirety of gusu summer camp rejecting wwx’s attempts in friendship, being an asshole and just plain rude (yes, wwx also was rude, but still) (yes, on the inside lan wangji was panicking in gay, but on the outside he was Just Rude, and WE know that, wei wuxian doesn’t). in the cave? lan wangji is overwhelmed and once again kinda rude to wwx, and he bites him, and again, WE know that lwj is probably going through a lot, wei wuxian knows less. moreover, later in the novel there is some more context given to why wei wuxian reacted like that to being bitten by lan wangji, our guy is straight up scared of being bitten, because he associates biting with dogs. they both were having kinda a shit time in that cave and i can’t blame them. during sunshot lan wangji was constantly arguing with wei wuxian and pretty openly dissaproving of his ways that he didn’t understand for obvious reasons. none of this says “i’m your friend and also i’m in love with you and i’m not actually trying to control you or reject you, i just don’t know what else to do”

and every time lan wangji would master his bravery to do something that would make his feelings more obvious, he would do it while wei wuxian couldn’t possible know that lan wangji was doing it. (e.g. singing wangixan to him in the cave while wei wuxian is out of it because of the fever, kissing him while he’s blindfolded). and the last chance in wwx’s first life that lwj got to confess his feelings, wei wuxian was simply not in the state to remember it or even process what was happening at all. 

coming back to his second life, wei wuxian actually becomes aware of his own feelings. not immediately, but dude was just dead like a few days ago, give him some time. and it’s not that he doesn’t notice that adult lan wangji now treats him differently, and certainly not how he treats anyone else, wei wuxian is straight up just afraid, without a direct conformation, that he’s still misunderstanding something. and taking in consideration all that i said previously, i can’t blame him. if any of these two could actually use their words, and ask questions they wanted to ask, this whole mess could have been avoided. but lan wangji can’t be direct (he doesn’t want to impose), and wei wuxian can’t trust indirect hints (he puts lan wangji way above himself and doesn’t believe hanguang-jun could get down to “his level”). 

and so they operate on this perfectly dysfunctional system of “i’ll just carry on with my own agenda, hoping for nothing in return” and also:

wwx: i’ll get him drunk (if he wants to get drunk) to just ask a few questions that i can’t ask while he’s sober

lwj: i’ll get drunk to be a little bit more free around wei ying, as i can’t be like that while i’m sober and i won’t remember it anyway

and, surprise, it doesn’t help their understanding of each other’s feelings. it doesn’t mean that wei wuxian is that oblivious, it just mean that things can’t work out like that, you need to TALK sometimes. (i didn’t get there yet, but thank god for lan xichen). in fact, that terrible system of communication makes things worse and i’m pretty sure the novel is being very clear that it wants you too to understand that it makes things worse.

their terrible inability to communicate properly results into that chapter that i just read. they operate in the previously learned patterns: wei wuxian buys alcohol, cause he wants to ask lan wangji this important question, lan wangji gets drunk, cause he doesn’t want to be present in this reality (relatable) (drinking to forget is bad, kids), and shit goes down. 

wei wuxian doesn’t want to take advantage of drunk lan wangji, but then he gets carried way, and drunk lan wangji gets carried away and things happen. and by the end of it, both sober, they BOTH think that they forced the other one to do something he didn’t want to do and they both feel terrible about that. (once again, i’m pretty sure that the novel is very clear about how it’s actually bad to have sex with someone blackout drunk) so wei wuxian ends up thinking that he took advantage oh lan wangji who wasn’t in control of himself, lan wangji thinks that he lost control of himself and took advantage of wei wuxian who didn’t protest out of gratitude to lan wangji (his worst fear, btw). 

i got slightly carried away from my original topic, but it just pisses me off that someone looks at this and really thinks that the novel is glorifying this behaviour or whatever. it’s terrible, they both feel terrible, the novel is yelling at them to talk instead of getting drunk and fucking. 

so yeah, wei wuxian isn’t that oblivious. but that situation doesn’t clear anything out, actually, because by the end of the day lan wangji sobers up, and wei wuxian sees his reaction to what happened, which was not a good reaction, and how is he supposed to understand lan wangji’s thought process correctly if he never says anything?  so wei wuxian ends up thinking that yeah, he gave in to his own wishful thinking, and terribly terribly fucked up (i mean, he did fuck up, but not as much as he thinks). 

idk how to end this so i just hope my point came across as i intended it and i’m just glad it’s all out

[willowistic22]

ok im gonna say it, what taylor swift song is romeo besides love story

Haha was waiting for this one actually. Can’t believe I can’t use love story grr. but yeah i get it. though plsss gimmie the chance to add a little bit of love story? I just love that song yknow. And jfc when I say ‘love’ it doesn’t always mean the romantic kind, aight? N e wayyys lesgo !

Love story. Pretty self explanatory actually. ‘We were both young when I first saw you’ I feel that him being a hopeless romantic started pretty young. He was young dumb but in love and that’s basically how he is when he’s in love. He loves the feeling when he first falls in love, when a love is still young. You don’t really know what you’re doing but you still act like you are because you can’t help it. Romeo mostly embrace the the whole being young and in love just because he loves the feeling and believes that PDA isn’t as bad as ppl might think. Well, not entirely but just enough yknow.

Invisible String. The song is basically the soulmate trope in a song form. And he does believes in soulmates. Let me crack into the... angsty stuff heheh >:). He has a long history of loving himself and sometimes doubt that there are ppl out there that would actually like him yknow. So he pretends there’s like this invisible string that connects him to others. Like destined to meet these few certain ppl. That’s what has kept him afloat all this time. Not many ppl would know it but it’s the truth.

Wonderland. ‘Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?’ and also ‘We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it’ Now this one is more towards his mentality in stuff. Sometimes when he’s clouded with love (romance or otherwise, take your pick) he gets too easily excited like ‘woah!!! someone likes me!!!’ and goes a bit too quickly. Many ppl were scared off by how clingy this kid can get. Romeo has learned to calm himself yknow, but sometimes he gets too lost and forgets all about it. The second one is mostly because, in plain simple words, he thinks the world is full of shit. His mental health has been hit hard and some days just seem so plain and boring and he’s tired and he didn’t even know why he got up that morning. Sometimes he closes his eyes to pretend he’s somewhere he wants to be. Where he’s wanted and it’s acceptable to cling on ppl. Where he’s not tired and the world around him is in fact wonderful to be in.

Blank Space. Some ppl will describe him of having an endless list of ppl he was once associated with. Call it lovers, friends, whatever. Mostly they get scared bcs the more time they spent with Romeo, more of his true colors are being shown. Some impressions Romeo left them was ‘annoying’ ‘clingy’ and ‘too serious in stuff’. It’s only because Romeo just wants to find a connection. He likes stuff with meaning behind it. Not those meaningless relationships or small talk. He wants to find someone to give his all. Obv these ppl has shown him that when Romeo is proper and polite, just like the way he usually presents himself towards strangers, they like him but not when he’s being his passionate self and so they don’t deserve his heart. ‘Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane’ Lots of ppl misunderstands his passionate self as ‘crazy’. But that’s just how he feels his feelings. Whether he’s sad, happy, or angry. It’s all because he has all this passionate energy to use up. Now here’s the kicker: he doesn’t give up to find that connection. He knows he’ll most likely get his heart broken again but he’s resilient. 

Lover. Yes, yes, we’ve made it perfectly clear that he’s a hopeless romantic. But this song specifically resonates with him. ‘Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?’ Romeo never half asses anything when it comes to getting to know others. He will go out of his way to listen to your laughter and sorrows because he loves the human personality. He thinks it’s so complex and amazing. Sometimes in one conversation he can really get a lot of information from someone. ‘With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover’ After all that disappointment he is still determined to love. Like I said before he’s resilient when it comes to these things. ‘Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever?’ Once you got his love he will stick with you forever. This might be in a way calling him clingy and maybe he is. But that’s just how he shows his loyalty towards someone. And the rest of the song is basically what it’s like for Romeo to be in love and to be loved by Romeo. Beautiful and at peace, like you’re floating on clouds and everything in the world doesn’t matter anymore.

...Ready For It. Haha yes this sounds like a stretch but bare with me. ‘But if he’s a ghost, then I can be a phantom. Holding him for ransom, some’ I feel that despite the ‘bad impression’ he’s given ppl that left him, he did left some form a good mark on them too. Some have tried to insert themselves back in his life, realizing that maybe Romeo isn’t as bad as they thought he was. Of course, there are others that don't, which is always fine for Romeo’s end because he does understand that he’s ‘not for everyone’. ‘In the middle of the night, in my dreams. You should see the things we do, baby’ Despite his openness to love anyone, he does have his own standards. A vivid version of the kind of ppl he would like to share his heart with but he doesn’t over stretch himself to get them to like him other than maybe the usual meeting a person for the first time.

Don’t Blame Me. ‘Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right’ Let me tell you that when it comes to forming a connection/relationship, it really brings out Romeo’s true colors. And I’ve said before that that’s when ppl start leaving him bcs he doesn’t like his passion being executed in a lot of aspects of his other personality. He’s considered ‘crazy’ for that. ‘Lord, save me, my drug is my baby, I'd be using for the rest of my life’ But when it comes to connecting to the right ppl, he will shine and thrive. Maybe he’ll use this opportunity to finally be himself without fearing that these ppl will leave his as well. ‘For you, I would cross the line’ and then there’s the priceless loyalty towards those ppl that I've mentioned. Yeah, Romeo will do anything for the ppl he loves.

This Is Me Trying. It’s how I think Romeo in his low would look. I’ve mentioned before that his mental health sometimes hits very low that he can barely do anything. It looks more like everything that he does is so tiring and all he can do is just stay in bed. He wants someone to know that he’s trying his best to get up just to brush his teeth or get some food. He wants someone to know that he’s trying his best. As much as he wants to, he can’t get through a day like that all alone. He needs someone else to be the one telling him to do things because days like these are usually when Romeo can’t bare to listen to himself. A simple ‘I’m proud of you’ from someone else can be enough to get him to other things that seems difficult. But hey, he’s trying.

To quickly sum it up: Love story is how he views love to be (young, beautiful, yet stupid in the same way) and he proudly embraces it. Invisible String is how he believes in soulmates to cope with the disappointment he faces from ppl that don’t like his true colors. Wonderland is how he tends to get over excited when it comes to ppl that show any form of attention towards him that can be viewed as affection plus how he likes to pretend to be in a world where it’s okay for him to be clingy. Blank Space is how his passionate soul somehow turns him into a crazy person that can’t make a connection with others last. Lover is for how he feels/looks when Romeo does love. ...Ready For It is for how he leaves different kinds of marks on the people he had once connected in the past. Don’t Blame Me is for how the people he wants to connect to brings out his true colors and how he will thrive when the person he connects with is the right one. This Is Me Trying is how Romeo looks like when he’s in his lowest moment and needs someone to support him.

If this doesn’t make any sense then I’m sorry just ignore this pls:)

[welllpthisishappening]

Heyooo could you do 6 and/or 9 for kiss prompts please? If you’re still doing them that is. :)

Alright, well, this got long. Let’s all act super surprised. And because you are an absolute delight of a human being, this is Will and Belle. Set in the Blue Verse, obvs. And also because I keep reading these hockey rom coms, so I am in a mood™. They were real fun to write. Particularly on their first date. This is their first date! At the Museum of Natural History! Prompts were: hand kisses and kisses in the snow.

————

This was a bad idea. 

Exceptionally bad. Stupid, really. Impetuous and instinctual and no, no, that second one wasn’t right at all. Agreeing to Ariel’s set-up wasn’t instinctual, was just—

Idiotic, maybe. 

Throwing her head back, Belle tried to find cracks in the ceiling. To match the obvious ones in her sanity. Only the Museum of Natural History did not boast any cracks. Couldn’t, she figured. Something about the structural integrity of the building and, she imagined, the ghost of Theodore Roosevelt. Who would very likely emerge from his statue out front if he realized there was any sort of looming threat to the dinosaur bones stored inside this museum. 

He’d get, like—those horse riders, probably. God, now she couldn’t remember the name for those horse riders, just a mess of facts about San Juan Hill and the Spanish-American War and she’d nearly paced her way onto several people’s shoes already. 

He was late. 

This hockey guy. Will, his name was Will. Scarlet, Will Scarlet. Played defense for the New York Rangers and every article she’d read in the last two days since agreeing to Ariel’s wholly ridiculous suggestion also suggested that Will Scarlet, professional hockey player, was very good at his job. Not quite championship-worthy yet, but it had been close that one season and he was—

Cute. 

Real cute. Had that slight curl to his lips in his headshot and if Belle spent a few minutes that afternoon meticulously examining his headshot then that was between her and her desk and her internet history. Which she should probably delete at some point. Tomorrow, she’d do it tomorrow. First thing, even. 

Would walk into the library and make sure to take care of any lingering evidence detailing all the proof that she was fairly certain there was a hint of something unnameable at the edge of Will Scarlet’s eyes and that was insane. 

She was on a roll, really.

He just—

Well, she thought he was cute. Didn’t have any looming warrants for his arrest. Hit people on the ice with a fair amount of frequency, per several other articles, but that was to be expected. She thought so, at least. Hockey was still a potential project for her. If this worked. 

She didn’t think it was going to work. 

Dating professional athletes was not her. Didn’t fit with her personality, or her possibly subconscious and entirely unfair prejudices, but this guy got paid to play a game and he likely had expectations and fans and a variety of people who fell under the umbrella of antiquated categories with vaguely offensive naming conventions, and there was also Belle’s consistent tendency to self-sabotage because romance had never really panned out all that great, but Ariel had promised. Was so sure. Belle didn’t have a choice. 

Agreeing to this was—

Instinct.

“God damn,” she mumbled, halfway through another lap around the lobby. Twisting between tourists, most of whom were trying to figure out how to store the bags they weren’t allowed to bring into the museum because it appeared most of them had been required to visit Bloomingdales at some point that day, she very nearly stepped on a few more toes and definitely on the back of one boot hell. 

Who immediately cursed. 

Not under his breath. Right out loud, drawing a few stares and one gasp from someone Belle figured had to be from Iowa, or something. 

That was an awful thing to think. 

Only she couldn’t bring herself to feel too badly when her stomach appeared intent on taking up residence in her throat, so as to avoid the acid and the wholly imaginary butterfly wings and he turned around. To stare at her. With that specific glint in his eyes. 

“Hey, can you—oh,” Will sighed, shoulders sagging and that was not great. Bad, even. Real bad. Blind date disaster sort of bad. Belle’s smile made her cheeks ache. “Are you planning on killing me? You look a little crazed. This is a very public place.” “Agreed to so you couldn’t kill me.” “Would hurt my minutes.” “I don’t know what that means,” Bell admitted. “Is your foot alright?”

His lips twisted. She was staring. Appraising, really. Tracing her eyes across a head that was at a slight angle now, and she was having an admittedly difficult time coping with his shoulders. Sloped and clearly muscled, even under the fabric of a well-fitted leather jacket that couldn’t be providing much warmth. 

“It’s cold out.”

Will’s smile stretched. “It is, in fact.” He stuck his hand out, fluttering fingers that weren’t showing any sign of frostbite when Belle didn’t do anything except keep staring. Like a complete psychopath. “If Ariel set me up with a murderer, I’m going to be really annoyed, fair warning.”

“That would be fair, yeah.” “And strangely not an objection.” “I’m really worried about your Achilles tendon.”

He laughed. Guffawed. Threw his head back and wrapped an arm around his waist, seemingly unaware of the glances and the few prolonged stares because he was a professional athlete and other people were probably more aware of that than Belle was. Another finger flutter. “Will Scarlet,” he said, “not a murderer, only a little concerned that you might be—”

“—You were late.” “And I apologize for that, but you can blame Cap. Who missed a wide-open breakaway three minutes before we were about to get off the ice and Arthur lost his mind.” “Sounds dramatic.” “You’ve got no idea. Are you going to shake my hand because my arm is getting kind of tired.” Belle lifted her eyebrows. Kept smiling. More like a normal person, she hoped. A semi-charmed person. Who almost forgot where they were standing and how long the line to pay whatever you want at the Museum of Natural History always was. His hand wasn’t nearly as cold as she expected it to be. 

That probably wasn’t important.

“Belle French,” she said, “shouldn’t you have better upper-body strength?”

His smile was a bit softer, that time. Not quite resigned, but she was struggling to come up with appropriate syntax and neither one of them had tried to pull their hand away. “I’ve got incredible upper-body strength,” Will promised, leaning forward and he smelled a bit like soap, “you should what I can do on skates, though.” Flushing was ridiculous. Blushing, too. Any synonym. 

Still holding hands. 

“Do you think this is working for you?” “I’m trying very hard.” “Yeah, I can tell.” “Oh wow,” he chuckled, finally disentangling their fingers, and that was fine. Totally fine. Belle didn’t notice the absence of warmth, at all. Not instantly, or anything. “That’s kind of a knock to my self-confidence, honestly. Ariel didn’t mention you were mean.” “I’m not mean. What else did Ariel mention?” To suggest that his eyes actually had the gall to sparkle would be crazy. They didn’t sparkle. Were biologically incapable of doing that. 

But Belle swore something else happened, and it might have just been in the general region of her heart. Stuttering and restarting, at double time. As if it were intent on impersonating a hummingbird. 

“You’re very smart.” “That’s true,” Belle agreed. 

“Modest, too.” “Obviously, yeah, yeah.”

She wanted to keep making him laugh. Wanted him to keep smiling at her and leaning forward, even if his hair wasn’t quite long enough to artfully fall across his forehead. She wondered if his shoulders looked as good when he wasn’t wearing the leather jacket. 

So, insanity was fun to experience, then. 

“This is the part where you tell me what Ariel said about me, babe.”

Belle’s eyebrows jumped. Soared. Flew off her forehead. “You really do thinking this working, huh?” “My self-confidence is a sham, Ariel thinks I’m lonely, my teammates are dumb, and I’m willing to pay full price for this museum so we can also see the 3D movie about the giant monster shark.” “Megalodon is a real thing that was part of a mass marine extinction, potentially caused by a supernova that really messed up the rest of Earth.” “Telling me that is not going to stop me from calling it monster shark,” Will promised. Belle thought it was a promise. Sounded like one. 

She was admittedly a little hung up on the lonely thing. 

“I can work with monster shark.”

Will beamed. Did something passably ridiculous with his eyebrows and the slight shake of his head, and neither one of them mentioned the hand thing. How they reached for the other on what already felt like habit, twisting between bags and tourists and it took less time to get in when they paid full price. Plus twenty-nine ninety-nine for the monster shark movie. Per ticket. 

And they walked. Wandered. Took their time through exhibits, conversation that wasn’t exactly ground-breaking, but was just as easy, tilting their heads back in tandem to stare at massive fossils and partially-finished dinosaur structures. 

“So,” Will drawled, not taking his eyes off the Tyrannosaurs Rex, “tell me something.”

“About?” “You’re a librarian, right?” Belle nodded. “Not like—well, there’s not a lot of story-times. More research and entitled doctoral students who think the world revolves around them.”

“Bet you think athletes are super great then, huh?” “Ariel didn’t force me here against my will,” Belle pointed out, getting another laugh for her pitiful comedic efforts. Pulling his gaze away from the exhibit, Will didn’t quite smile, but he wasn’t glaring and her stomach hadn’t returned to its correct spot yet. “Why’d you pick Museum of Natural History?” “I’m more than just a pretty face.”

She rolled her eyes. Continued to be very charmed. “I did work in a small town once, but it didn’t end great, lots of drama, lots of dead mom, overprotective dad, bad relationships.” “How bad is bad?” “Thinking of dropping gloves with my ex-boyfriend?” Twinkling eyes were impossible too, she was sure. Will’s appeared determined to prove her wrong. “You looked up terminology.” “Sounds suspiciously like an accusation.” “Nah,” he shook his head, “a cautiously optimistic assumption.” “For the life of me, I cannot figure out what icing is.”

He ran his hand over the back of his head. That wasn’t the first time, either. Belle might have been doing research. Keeping track, more like. “Not many people can at the start,” Will said, “have you gotten to offsides yet? My national championship?” “You won a national championship?” Narrowing his eyes wasn’t an explicit challenge. Felt like one, all the same. One Belle wasn’t just willing to reach for. Wanted to reach. And that was—strange, actually. She hadn’t felt like that in a very long time, had been sitting at the same desk for the better part of the last ten months, waiting for something worthy of researching and figuring out and she wasn’t lying about icing. Sometimes it didn’t happen? And that frustrated people? 

On the ice, and in the stands. Based on the videos she’d watched. 

That sounded psychopathic too. 

“What happened with the ex?” “He wanted to get married,” Belle said, forced casualness that didn’t do anything to the thin-type nature of Will’s eyes. “Dad wanted us to get married.” “And you didn’t?” She shook her head. “I’ve got things to do.” “Like read up on my national championship?” “Google black holes are real things.” “Oh, you’ll get no argument from me,” Will grinned, another chuckle and she was starting to pick up on the variety in his laughter. Genuine, now. “But searching your name only led to your Columbia faculty page, most of which I knew already from grilling Ariel because I was worried about getting stabbed in public, I’m real famous you know.” “Hockey is not as popular as you think it is.” His hand was too big, Belle thought. Could wrap all the way around her fingers, warm and somehow almost comforting, tugging her away from this massive dinosaur toward a slightly smaller dinosaur that didn’t eat other dinosaurs several million years ago. 

She didn’t pull away. “Anyway,” Will added pointedly, “your faculty page left a lot to be desired, but a slightly older article from the York County Coast Star informed me that you did Kennebunk High School proud once by winning Best Delegate at a Model United Nation’s Conference.” She’d have to stop blushing eventually. As it was, Belle’s face was blistering and her mouth had fallen open at some point. Likely right around the time that the ends of Will’s lips also started to quirk up. 

“Stalking is a serious crime.” “Curiosity, however, is not. Plus, A didn’t know about Model UN. What was your position?” “A lacks a bit of creativity on the nickname front, don’t you think?” Belle asked, not totally desperate to change the subject.

Will lifted a shoulder. “Usually we like to add an r to last names, or a y. Depends on the last syllable, more than anything.” “Who is this we exactly?” “Hockey players as a whole.” “Right, right, so that would make me—” “—Frenchy, yeah,” Will nodded. “Doesn’t seem to fit, though. Also possibly offensive?” Belle laughed. Giggled, a little. Kept blushing and ignoring the unstable state of her heart and she hadn’t been expecting him to be so—

Charming. Legitimately and entirely charming. Full of simple banter, like it didn’t require any extra effort on his part. She was glad for that. He kept rubbing the side of his hip, too. Probably took a check during practice. She’d really spent a long time researching terminology. 

“I served as a judge on the United Nation’s International Court of Justice.”

Letting out a low whistle, Will actually widened his eyes. With legitimate awe. She was going to combust before this was over. This date. This going very well date. “I’m sorry about the ex.” “You don’t have to punch him in the face.” “Good to know.”

She hummed. Looked back at the dinosaur in front of them so she wouldn’t be so tempted to ask about lonely and what that meant, and that lasted for all of twenty-six minutes. Give or take. 

Belle hadn’t taken her phone out of her pocket once.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He didn’t totally stiffen. They’d moved off the dinosaur floor, standing in an offshoot of the lobby and another long line with more kids than Belle expected. She should have. No one appreciated long-extinct monster sharks more than kids. 

So, Will didn’t totally stiffen. His lips all but disappeared, though. Became a thin line on a head that was back at an angle, with a tongue that poked noticeably against one of his cheeks. 

“College girlfriend,” he said, voice turning gruff, “dated the entire time I was there, wore my jersey to the title game. All that cliche bullshit. Graduated, New York had my rights, and suddenly the world was our oyster, right?” “Rhetoric?” He lifted the other shoulder. Than the one from before. Keeping track of that was crazy, crazy, easy. “A little,” Will admitted, “because New York had my rights, but not an immediate need for a defenseman, and the AHL is a grind. Shitty barns of arenas and not much glamor on multi-state bus trips. Game after game, trying to prove you deserve the call that’s gonna change everything, only it took too long for mine to come. Least for Ana. She wanted—well, fuck if I know what she wanted, really. But it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t waiting and there were plenty of other guys in the league who started at the top. Who also thought she had the prettiest smile of anyone in the room.”

Jealousy was not a normal reaction. And wasn’t really what was happening. Not entirely, at least. 

Belle would tell herself that at least forty-seven times in the next twenty-four minutes. Because her stomach was flipping, making it difficult to take a deep breath when she noticed the resigned look in Will’s suddenly dull eyes and he was supposed to be an idiot. Was supposed to be a stereotype, unable to find anything interesting about the Hall of North American Forests, but he made jokes about stuffed birds and was serious about seeing the monster shark and Ariel was going to be absolutely insufferable about all of this. 

“What’s the deal with your shirt?” Will’s head tilted even more. “Because it’s team-branded?” “Technical term?” “Now we’re going in circles, babe.” “Get more creative nicknames.”

The spark returned. Fluttered in the very center of eyes that met Belle’s without a hint of trepidation of concern regarding her potential murder tendencies. Not that she had any. He’d looked her up, too. “I’ll see what I can do,” Will muttered, “and it’s a real problem for me. Get free shirt, have to wear free shirt, see no reason to buy other shirts.” “Or proper sentence structure, it seems.” “This is working.” “Is it?” He nodded, following the line as it started to move into the theater. “I think so, yeah. You ready to learn about this giant fish?” “Sharks are fish, that’s true.” “See,” Will grinned, lacing his fingers through his, “totally working.”

Neither one pulled their hands away. Even as the theater lights dimmed, and she couldn’t remember the last time she wore 3D glasses, but the effects were at least fairly good because she jumped no less than three times, Will’s soft chuckle echoing between her ears each time. 

His thumb tapped. Found a rhythm against the side of her wrist that stayed even after the movie was over, and his excitement rivaled the loudest and most sugar-filled kids, an unspoken agreement to spend at least thirty-four minutes in the gift shop. 

He bought her a stuffed shark. 

“For intimidation purposes,” Will explained, thrusting an arm toward the sidewalk. Belle didn’t smile. She tried. Sort of. And the cab stopped almost immediately. “You’re impressed.” “Keep telling me how I’m feeling, please.” “This is New York, danger lurking on every corner and whatnot. Requirements of a gentleman mean I have to deposit the fair lady back at her door.” “Or you lose your membership card?”

“Matching jackets, God, keep up.”

She slid into the backseat next to him. And it wasn’t like she was expecting a kiss, honestly. Wouldn’t have said no, probably. But this was—

New and a little exciting, and Ariel was going to be so annoying. 

So, they sat. Kept talking, which was still somehow effortless. Even with the cloud of potential kissing and lives that weren’t remotely similar, and Belle still had a lot of hockey-based questions. About teammates and their opinions because Will had mentioned that too, but she wasn’t a total snoop or willing to be that level of stubborn quite yet. Maybe, like, second date stubborn. 

They were at her building, anyway. 

Stumbling out of the cab was not the picture of cool Belle had been hoping for. Snow landed on her shoulders and clung to the ends of her hair, a storm that started somewhere between Central Park West and East 29th Street, and she knew Will did not leave anywhere near here. He got out, anyway. 

Stood on the sidewalk before trailing her toward the door, her stuffed shark safe from the elements in the bag hanging from her shoulder. “So, that was—”

“I had a really good time with—”

Her shoulders sagged. Dropped in tandem with Belle’s sigh and the stretch of her smile, refusing to let her teeth dig into her lower lip. Will dragged his hand over the back of his head. “A’s going to be so annoying about this.” Tension disappeared. Melted faster than the snow was capable of, Belle’s teeth only appearing when she smiled that wide. “Because you think it worked, huh?”

“Working on that self-confidence, you see,” Will said, hovering on the bottom step and her lips were tingling. With anticipation and hope and the knowledge of how much a cab back uptown was going to cost him. 

He surprised her, of course. 

Flipping his wrist, Will’s fingers fluttered once. Silent invitation hung between them, and Belle didn’t think. Didn’t consider options or potential blow-ups, no sign of a pro and con list. It’d be weird to find one on her front step, anyway. 

She dropped her hand into his. 

Still warm, still capable of holding all of hers, the soft pull at the end of her arm didn’t stop until Will’s lips grazed her bent knuckles and stayed there. For the next eight seconds. She counted. Timed it up with the solid thud of her heart against her chest and the propensity of her knees to bend beneath her. In order to accommodate everything she was feeling. 

Too much. 

Not enough. 

“I had fun, ma moitié,” Will said, leaving her brain whirring for a translation. 

“This might be working.” He scrunched his nose when he nodded. “Smarter than I look, that’s why. Keep the shark guy nearby, he’ll make sure danger stays outside where it belongs.”

Belle wanted to say something. Wanted it to be cute and passably witty, enough that there would be a second date so she could be more stubborn, only her tongue wasn’t functioning and she was so close to falling over it was honestly embarrassing. 

Will’s eyebrows jumped again. 

Before he did. Off the steps and back to the waiting cab, taillights not much more than a reflection of snowflakes before Belle was scrambling for her phone. Her fingers shook a little. 

“Ma moitié, ma moitié, ma moitié,” she chanted. It turned into a gasp. As soon as Google returned with its translation. 

My half. 

Whatever sound tumbled out of her was neither cute nor entirely human, heart turning unstable again and the shark looked especially good sitting between the pillows of Belle’s bed. The same one she dropped onto with a laptop propped against her knees so she could figure out how the hell icing worked. 

[nightmaresorpromises]

🍄✨💐

OKAY THIS GOT REALLY LONG BC I FEEL THE NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF SO LIKE IM SORRY LMFAO. Also pls no one yell at me I’m just saying how I feel and what I think, I recognize that everyone will have different views/opinions/experiences and that I can only speak based on my own. I am not a doctor

🍄: do you support self diagnosis?

This is kind of a difficult question, I know most people hate the self diagnosis stuff, but personally I think their are certain mental health issues that you can become aware of without a medical diagnosis.

That being said, many mental health issues and disorders are incredibly complex and I think those DO need a medical diagnosis, especially since from what I understand a lot of disorders can mimic and or cause symptoms of other ones.

So for me personally, my eating disorder, anxiety, and depression (which I honestly don’t call that I just say I’m depressed bc I’m not medically diagnosed?) are all self diagnosed, but I’ve seen myself develop my eating disorder and was willing to die for it, I frequently have anxiety attacks to the point I feel like I’m going to faint and I can’t breathe, I’m terrified to order my own food sometimes because of the social interaction, and I’m borderline suicidal and struggle with self harm as a result. So like? I feel, I don’t want to say justified because that sounds kind of wrong, but I feel okay in going “I have these issues, and this is what I struggle with”

but I don’t think I’d ever self diagnose with something complex like bi polar disorder, borderline personality disorder etc, because those are much harder in my eyes to determine, or understand without a medical diagnosis. (Obviously that’s just my opinion and example as someone who A.) doesn’t have the option to get medically diagnosed regarding my mental health issues and B.) who has never struggled with any of those disorders or known anyone who does.)

So like? I’m definitely not pro “identify with whatever mental health issue you have a symptom of!” But I also think to an extent individuals who struggle with their mental health can have enough sense to go okay, this is my life, this isn’t healthy or normal, I’m struggle with these things so maybe I’m dealing with anxiety, or whatever else.

But I understand the frustration around self diagnosis because you obviously have ignorant people going “omg lol I can’t focus on this thing I totally have adhd or add” or “lol I got so angry out of nowhere! Clearly I’m bi-polar” and like... I won’t even get into that. *facepalms*

💐: do you believe in recovery?

This is hard for me. I guess yes and no.

Yes because sure there are things you can overcome, and recover from like addiction, and eating disorders, and there are things you can treat like depression and other mental illnesses,

But no because (pessimistic bitch over here sorry) at the end of the day you’ll still struggle with those things. So you can get better at coping, you can get treatment, but even for me personally now that I’m no longer restricting my food unhealthy, and I’m not terrified of food, I still get ED thoughts, I still get triggered. Like the mental health issue is always going to be in the background of your mind and you’re still going to have to deal with it, even if the strain isn’t as harsh because you’ve gotten better and developed a healthier way to handle it.

So I guess that depends on your definition of recovery. Of course I believe in getting better, and not having your issues hit you as harshly even if they still lurk in your mind.

But, part of me despises the fact that a lot of those issues are still gonna lurk. (I guess I don’t believe in being “totally cured!” Or whatever ? Idk)

But that’s just my take on it, everyone’s different and everyone’s issues are different. And obviously getting better through treatment and developing better coping mechanisms and whatever else can greatly help you and ease your struggles. So it gets easier, and I guess that’s what recovery is supposed to be about. Getting better even if you aren’t “cured”

✨: do you have any advice to others (especially young people) about how to recover?

Oh god. Okay so like, as someone who hit rock bottom at like 15 emotionally I think one of the biggest things is you have to want to recover.

And to a lot of people that sounds obvious but it got to a point where I, and a lot of my friends who struggled with their mental health stopped wanting to get better.

If you’re going to recover, you need to want it. Not necessarily be ready, because you might never feel “ready” it’s a huge jump, but you have to WANT it. Or else no help or advice will ever reach you, and you won’t give an honest try to do whatever it is you need personally to recover.

2.) you have to be willing to change in whatever ways are possible and necessary, because obviously there are things such as living situations that you might not be able to change giving your situation. But the things you can change like how you respond to situations, who and what you surround yourself with (social media, toxic friends, toxic online communities etc) you have to be willing to cut those out.

And obviously, that’s easier said then done, especially when you may already feel alone and like cutting them off will only add to that lonliness, but guys, you have to do it. And I know it’ll be hard at first but getting rid of those toxic relationships will lift a weight off of your shoulders and I promise you will make new friends. Shit like that happens when you least expect it and it’s annoying and weird and dumb. But cut out that toxic shit in your life.

Overall change though, if you don’t like the way you treat people take a step back and go “okay why do I react this way? Why do I treat people this way?” And don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t attack yourself seek to understand it, and that will enable you to then go, “okay how I respond isn’t fair, how can I change that?” And that goes for how you treat yourself too. If you can change those negative thoughts, behaviors and treatment to both yourself and others it will help your mental state a lot.

3.) patience and understanding I guess? I’m sure there’s a lot of feeling like you might be a horrible person out there, a lot of anger and pent up frustration with yourself and the world because of all the shit you’ve had to deal with and like, those feelings are justified, but you should also be patient with yourself and understand that people do stupid, cruel, fucked up shit. We make mistakes, we treat people kinda poorly, but don’t destroy yourself over it.

Understand or seek to understand why x y z is happening and use that to do what you can to change the situation, even if it’s scary or hard. You can regret actions, but regretting them forever won’t help you grow or get better it’ll only make you sink ya know? So like, accept how you’re feeling, but don’t succumb to it, and work to change the negative behaviors or energies that surround you.

Oh my god okay 4, and like SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE. Stop IT. NO ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Where you are is based on your own path, and you’re on your clock not anyone else’s. Everyone has so many different experiences it’s impossible and not fair to sit and judge yourself based on someone else’s capabilities.

Because we all have different experiences while you may be struggling to learn how to respond or handle social situations, which might be something others know how to do, those same people might be struggle to process grief and loss, which maybe you experienced already and learned how to handle.

(Idk if that makes sense,) but basically like, you’re where you need to be in life and you’re learning what you need to learn when you need to learn it. We aren’t all on the same track. Some of us are learning things our friends learned at sixteen, some of us are working towards things 35 year olds haven’t gotten to yet. Everyone is different and because of that we are going to have different experiences. Different bodies, different personalities, different struggles

And that’s OKAY that’s how we’re supposed to be

(Thanks for coming to my I just woke up and chugged coffee ted talk. Obviously take everything I say with some salt, those are just my opinions and views and I understand that they won’t be helpful or apply to everyone and their situation. I’m just trying to explain how I see or feel about things given my life. Obv I’m not a doctor or anything I’m just a college student no one come for me thank you I’m sorry have a nice day)

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Can you believe this girl? Amelia: No, you're right, she's unbelievable! Jac: I can't believe she thinks so much of herself Jac: who told her she was so great and was it April fools when they lied to her face? Amelia: it'll be sir from now on and she'll be loving it Jac: As if she didn't get it just because she's so loud and he couldn't bother with the tantrum Amelia: he had no idea what to do when Ciara started crying, we all saw that Jac: Exactly, she just made him feel uncomfortable Jac: not cool Amelia: it's really not Jac: Not to mention not cool in the literal sense Jac: so lame Amelia: yeah Amelia: did you see how Connor and his friends looked at her? Amelia: I'm 😳 for her Jac: She has no shame Jac: It's no wonder Keeley doesn't want to be her friend any more Jac: I heard she like, ruined her last birthday party Jac: not surprised Amelia: showing off at the ice rink does sound like something she'd do Jac: Probably 😭 she wasn't the next Michelle Kwan Jac: she thinks she's good at EVERYTHING, which is cringe when you can't back that up Amelia: and when you put that much effort in, to impress sir of all people Amelia: he's not someone she should have a crush on Jac: Talk about daddy issues Amelia: my parents know everyone, they probably know hers Jac: OMG, I wonder what they're like Jac: she has a sister too, right? Jac: but she doesn't seem as nightmareish Amelia: I think she's in the year below but I've never heard anything about her Amelia: she must not be so Savannah-ish Jac: Poor thing is probably suffocated Jac: have to be so extra to get any attention with a sister like that Amelia: thank god I've never been to any family dinners at her house Amelia: who is she friends with now? Jac: You'll have to corner your mum, find out what their deal is Jac: I think she goes 'round with that Molly girl and her friends Jac: but I don't think they're like HER friends, you knoq Amelia: come over tonight, I've already sent her a text and it's totally fine Jac: Cool, I can sleep? Jac: anything to get away from my own annoying sister for the night Amelia: absolutely! Amelia: hopefully she'll have less boring gossip than when I asked her about that new girl last year Jac: Yay 😚 Jac: I'm sure she can be relied upon for the tea Jac: if not we'll look up their tragic old people socials Amelia: being on the board of school governors is such a middle aged in Amelia: that'll be where she knows Savannah's parents from if they are anything like her Jac: Why else would you do it? Jac: There's no funding to allocate 😂 Amelia: 😂 Jac: Though, your mum has to tell us in advanced for the next fundraiser, so we can actually get in there before Savannah just takes it all over Amelia: if people would pay her to 🤫🤐 that'd be a charitable act to us Jac: That's SUCH a good idea though actually Jac: watch her flop a sponsored silence 😂 Amelia: her sister would be 💔 Amelia: thinking it's her moment Jac: Awh 😬🤭 Amelia: oh god, I'm too stupid, I did not click her last name Amelia: her dad is a self proclaimed big deal, it all makes sense now Jac: Gross 😫 Jac: links? Amelia: they're like 🤑 Amelia: [links] Jac: She does have such wannabe richgirl vibes Jac: and she looks like him Amelia: she does 😬🤭 Jac: awkward Jac: also that there's barely any sign of her mum on these socials... Amelia: I wonder if he's flirted with my mum Amelia: she won't tell us Jac: but we'll know from what she DOESN'T say 😏 Amelia: this afternoon is going to drag so hard Jac: What even is social skills Jac: such a non-class, so dull 🙄 Jac: we should go to the shops before going to yours though, get snacks Jac: AND if we get dinner your mum will be thrilled with us 😇 Amelia: 💐! Amelia: you're onto something Amelia: do you think I should tint my lashes? Jac: I know 😋 Jac: Are you serious? but your hair is SO dark Amelia: exactly, they should be naturally thicker than this Jac: Okay but make sure you get a good kit Jac: Poppy Masters in the year above us got a cheap one and they all fell out Jac: her eyebrows too 😱 Amelia: oh no Jac: She's too ginger anyway, it would have looked ridiculous if it went right Amelia: is she the one who usually looks orange? Jac: Yeah...it's unfortunate 😬 Jac: she's not allowed to dye her hair because her mam reckons she'll regret spoiling her 'natural beauty' Amelia: her mum gets botox though Jac: Seriously? Jac: I thought she was a young mum too, like you know, had her TOO young young Jac: what a state Amelia: she thought my mum got it too and was asking her where and everything Amelia: because wherever she went cut her off for wanting to keep going like all the time Jac: The cheek of some people Jac: that's like Savannah levels of no shame Jac: your mum must've been SO embarrassed for her Amelia: I was standing right there and then she gave me a talk about our natural beauty, since I owe it to her, sorry dad Jac: Well you are super beautiful 🤷 Amelia: but yours was a model and you look just like her, neither of you are in people's faces about it Amelia: 😳 stop it please mother Amelia: I don't wanna turn into Savannah Jac: You could NEVER Amelia: have you seen her socials? She really loves herself Jac: I'll go look now Jac: I bet it's all selfies though Amelia: EVERYTHING she wears is designer Amelia: we get it 🤑💸 Jac: 🙄 like way to show you have no friends or real hobbies Amelia: does she do anything but shop and study? Amelia: 🥱 Jac: Clearly not Jac: She can't be that rich or she wouldn't go to our school Jac: or live in the catchment area even Amelia: maybe her invisible mum is trying to make her more humble Amelia: she goes on holiday constantly if this feed is anything to go by Jac: we might have to help her with that goal, honestly Amelia: what are you 🤔? Jac: Well, she needs teaching when to be quiet and when to just stop Jac: so we need to find something that she wouldn't wanna overshare Amelia: but now she's sir's favourite, aren't you worried we'd end up in trouble? Jac: it can't come from us, of course Jac: it won't be hard to just get out there Jac: anyway, how long is he actually going to be able to deal with how much she is Amelia: if you tell Is anything she'll spread it around Jac: and she never remembers where she heard it Jac: maybe we can think of something that will stop her being favourite Jac: hmm Amelia: like she's 😍🥰😘 for him Amelia: if he can't handle tears Jac: I mean, it isn't even a stretch Jac: we all saw her so Amelia: and the daddy issues are real Jac: Exactly Jac: like, it's not Sir's fault your dad is the worst Jac: do you wanna facetime her later? Amelia: should we? Jac: Is, I mean, obvs 😅 Jac: she might be a bit jealous she wasn't invited but she'll still be happy we called her Amelia: what if she wants to come over though? Jac: we'll have to pretend we've got somewhere to be after Jac: so she doesn't go on and on Jac: some club, a reservation with your parents 🤷 Jac: it'll be better to tell her, I'm not messaging it, I only trust you like that Jac: she could turn on us and say we were gossiping or whatever, some pettiness Amelia: I do wanna take you somewhere cool since my dad's working late Jac: That sounds fun Jac: do you have somewhere in mind already? is it a surprise? 😋 Amelia: it doesn't have to be a surprise but yeah, my cousin gave me the idea, so I know you'll like it Amelia: the one you met at my parents anniversary party Jac: I like surprises Jac: it sounds intriguing Jac: Isabelle is definitely not coming Amelia: follow my lead with my mum, okay? Amelia: she'd only say no if she knew where we were actually going Jac: Of course Jac: I know how to play it Amelia: I trust you Jac: ❤❤❤ Amelia: if Is feels left out she can come with us when we go to Savannah's 🏠 Amelia: I've worked out where it is Amelia: she seriously does overshare on socials Jac: As if Jac: you're as smart as she is dumb, seriously Jac: probably wants people to show up, so she can show off some more Amelia: yeah Amelia: Is wouldn't spy as subtly as us, maybe I'll uninvite her Amelia: before she like falls into their recycling bins Jac: 😂😂 Jac: Bless her Jac: she had a bit of salad stuck in her teeth ALL afternoon yesterday lunch Jac: it's like she never looks in a mirror sometimes Amelia: I can't believe Declan asked her out! Amelia: nobody's ever asked me Jac: I just hope for her sake she hasn't got a reputation with the boys already or he'll be expecting something Jac: loads of them fancy you though Jac: like Luke H Amelia: he cares more about French verbs than French kissing and he knows I'll let him copy a few of my answers Amelia: which is fine because unlike Isabelle I don't know how to 💋 Jac: It isn't hard Jac: can't be if she can master it, no offence Jac: and boys LOVE a teaching moment don't they 🙄🙄 Jac: don't want a girl who's clearly done it too many times already Amelia: that isn't a rep I want Amelia: so for now, maybe it's a good thing I freeze up around boys Jac: You're so cute Jac: the boys our age are so immature anyway, there is NO point Amelia: yeah, it's no wonder I can't think of any of them that I'd let 💋 me Jac: What about Leo? Jac: everyone fancies him Amelia: and he knows it Amelia: just like Savannah Jac: Yeah Jac: do you think she's even that pretty? Amelia: she is, but I think you're so much prettier Jac: you're just saying that 'cos you're my best friend Jac: but I appreciate it anyway 😚 Amelia: I could be her best friend instead but I'm not Jac: Imagine Jac: glorified bag holder sounds more legit Amelia: she'd hate where I'm taking you tonight Amelia: not enough mirrors and selfie lighting Jac: 😏 Jac: dark corners and 🚫📸 is way more fun Jac: that's why we're friends Amelia: best friends Jac: forever Amelia: and ever Amelia: do you wanna skip social skills? Jac: didn't you like, JUST get out of detention with Hilary? 🤔😆 Amelia: yeah Amelia: the timing's right Jac: to book yourself back in? Jac: I do HATE that lesson Amelia: we can say you're ill if you're worried about joining me in detention Amelia: Savannah's display was sickening Amelia: and you're 😇 enough to get away with it Jac: I hate that I can't escape her Jac: you know she's in EVERY one of my classes, literally Amelia: whenever you want to, we'll just go Jac: I will need to get an outfit Jac: as you're taking me somewhere Jac: I was going to ask to borrow your new top but this way, we can go shopping somewhere more exciting than just tescos for the dinner Amelia: my new top would look better on you but there'll be other dark corners for you to wear it in Jac: Not even, you looked so good in it on Friday Amelia: 😳 Amelia: I did feel good on Friday, we should do that again Jac: Definitely Jac: Where do you think Declan is gonna take Is out? Amelia: his sister works at the bowling alley, doesn't she? He'll use her discount Jac: the shoes are SUCH a look 🤭 Jac: guess she can't get burger and chips stuck in between her teeth though so that's a plus Jac: romantic ❤ Amelia: annoyingly, because I'm quite good at 🎳 Jac: Who's he friends with, you could make it a double date Jac: if you beat her though she'd be so mad 😠 she's the sporty one !!! Amelia: I'm not going unless you do too, who would you want? Amelia: Ross maybe Jac: He's not too annoying Amelia: did he get with that foreign exchange girl? Jac: He SAYS he did Jac: but I don't know if that's actually confirmed Amelia: still, I don't love that for you Jac: Hayden is part of that group too but he takes Classics and he's like, the male equivalent of Savannah Jac: he does not shut up, even though he's usually wrong 😒 Amelia: 🎤 drop Amelia: even if it makes me a bad friend, I'm not invested in Is' love life Amelia: there's a million things more fun than 🎳 we could be doing Jac: Yeah, it's not remotely worth it just to spy on her Jac: she'll tell us EVERY detail anyway 💁 Amelia: 😬 Amelia: I hate hearing about her boy drama Jac: maybe we'd care if there was more to it Jac: or she didn't always make herself look like a total idiot for some boring boy with nothing going for him Amelia: maybe Jac: or maybe not 😉 Amelia: I love her but I can't help feeling I loved her more when she wasn't so boy obsessed Amelia: but don't tell her I said that Jac: Of course I won't Jac: I know exactly what you mean Jac: it's like nothing else matters to her anymore Jac: she'll get over it though 🤞 Amelia: if she doesn't, I'm not going to have anything to ever talk to her about because it's the only thing she wants to Amelia: but that's probably true of most girls in our class anyway Jac: It's so tragic Jac: do you not have any ambitions of your own Jac: like it isn't the 50s Jac: not to mention boys think that's like, deeply unattractive anyway Amelia: at least you don't think I'm weird Amelia: or the tragic one Amelia: do you think the boys are obsessed with what we're doing? Jac: You're the coolest girl I know Jac: I'd be your friend no matter what Jac: like sometimes, I think I'm only friends with Is because I always have been Jac: like, I love her but Jac: what do we have in common now Jac: and no, boys fascination with girls starts and ends in the one place Amelia: I will be your friend no matter what Amelia: and if Savannah Moore or anyone else gets in your face like that again, I will be back in detention Amelia: would I risk it all for Is in the same way, not right now, no Jac: I'm glad I've got you on my side, Meels Jac: even if she's got Sir Jac: not for long, right Amelia: if she keeps this up she won't have anything Jac: 💪😍 Amelia: ❤❤❤ Jac: Okay, where do you wanna meet? Jac: I'm fake en-route to the sickbay now Amelia: [a location that makes sense] Jac: IOU a coffee Amelia: I should be treating you after everything that's happened today Amelia: you put in loads more work than she did Amelia: sir only recognises her big mouth Jac: But you've been so helpful and lovely, a per Jac: he's always been like that Jac: it's not my fault I don't like to shout out all the answers all the time Amelia: he didn't know you when you were younger and so shy Amelia: but I remember Jac: Clearly it'd be better if I was a loudmouth and said everything that came into my head though Amelia: for that lesson, but you don't have to go any more Amelia: we're only going to the ones we can be bothered to Jac: Sounds like a good idea but my grades would disagree Amelia: when Nessa was being bullied she didn't have to go to like any lessons Jac: Well I'm not being bullied though Jac: and I don't want her thinking I'm like, threatened by her Amelia: sir is close to the line, you don't have to mention her Jac: no, let's deal with it how we said first Jac: just her not being as smug will be enough Amelia: okay Jac: Trust me Jac: and you can still ditch as much as you want Jac: not gonna get in trouble with me Amelia: I'll ditch the lessons you're not in Amelia: I don't trust her and I'm not going to just leave you with her Jac: You're like half-girl half-pitbull Jac: not art though, you love art Amelia: maybe your mum and dad will adopt me and we can share a room instead of you having to deal with Jude Amelia: well then can I 🎨🖌 you? I've pushed this deadline extension as far as it'll go Jac: Ugh, don't even, that'd be the best Jac: she actually drives me insane sometimes Jac: you wanna 🎨🖌 me? Amelia: I'm thrilled my parents didn't make any 🧫🧪 siblings for me Amelia: and IVF is 💸💸 Amelia: yeah? if you'll let me Jac: You're so lucky tbh Jac: alright, but if I have to pose you can't make me laugh Amelia: 😏 Jac: You'll be the one that ends up with a dodgy painting if you do 😅 Amelia: if I asked Is to let me paint her with 🥑🥦🥬🥒 in her teeth then maybe Amelia: you're too good of a subject to mess up Jac: be so avant-garde Jac: the teacher would probably like that more Amelia: I don't care what she likes Amelia: not a teacher's pet like Savannah is Jac: you're only 🐶 part time Jac: and for a worthy cause, got it Amelia: for you, exactly yeah Amelia: 🦺🐶 Jac: what would I do without you? Amelia: you'd have less paint in your hair Amelia: 😂 Jac: Not very natural of me Jac: but I think I suit it Amelia: I think you do too Jac: I'm [different location] that nosy secretary was doing the rounds and I had to change direction Amelia: I'll be right there 🏃 Amelia: but let Is think she's the sporty one Jac: 🤐 Jac: be bit rude of you to take artistic and sporty Amelia: no way, you're good at everything Jac: but you don't think I'm unbearable like Savannah? Amelia: NEVER Jac: Good Amelia: she's pretending to know what she's doing anyway Amelia: all mouth and no talent Jac: You reckon? Jac: Probably Jac: if you're that showy, you're making up for something, anyway Amelia: even if I'm being unfair I guarantee she's not on your level Amelia: nobody is Jac: You're too nice to me Amelia: too nice like 🤫😳 or you don't think it's true? Jac: A bit of both, I suppose Jac: I do work hard but I don't need to shove that in everyone's face Amelia: you're the anti-Savannah Jac: getting into the uni I want is reward enough Jac: besides, not as if it's endearing to be a total know-it-all-show-off Jac: you don't have to dumb yourself down to be chill about it, you know Amelia: yeah, I'm chill about it, but still smart enough to follow everything she was saying Jac: Exactly Jac: all mouth no talent is not the lasting impression I wanna leave Amelia: me either Jac: not that I care what anyone here thinks Amelia: I know you don't think that about me so same Jac: I only think the best things about you, of course Amelia: you love me even though I don't have a uni picked out and I love you even though you do Jac: That's a pretty good summary, yeah Amelia: 🤓❤😎 Jac: I don't think I'd go that far 😏 Amelia: 😂 Jac: if I was such a 🤓 I wouldn't be waiting for you right now Amelia: maybe I'm that 😎 and persuasive Jac: really Jac: 👌 Amelia: you don't look like that in your glasses though, if we're being real Jac: Good to know Jac: don't need to have a makeover Amelia: I look like this 👧🏻 Amelia: I can't come for you or at you with a makeover Jac: Listen to your mother Amelia: NEVER Jac: okay, okay 😎 Amelia: [probably should actually show up gal so we can leave this here]

[thephantomporg84]

[REDACTED] be complaining reg. the reactions of having "placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida" while having the gall of "It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter" & "Who cares? It’s fictional geography, you idiots." Feels a bit like failing World-Building 101. I mean, Red Grave based on London would also be a callback to Dante's early concept of being a Brit.

Someone already sent me the whole post of hers that I’m pretty sure you’re referring to lmao. I’m in a particularly cunty but pleasant mood rn, and analysis is kind of my thing, so lets’s break it down, shall we?

Maybe someone can send this her way and… learn that tiny little brain of hers a thing. 😉

It’s fictional geography called world building, you idiots Karen after the cut:

‘I love how a number of shitheels have screeched amongst themselves on this hellsite about how I had placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida or somewhere around the Gulf US states (re: the fanfic & project link in my header), whining that it should’ve been in Europe, namely Italy.’

An admission to stalking profiles is not exactly the best way to start a self-righteous rant or advertise your… magnum opus, but go off, I guess.

‘Not only that, but they whined about “plotholes and inconsistencies” without elaborating on what the latter are. The asshole who made the rant was annoyed when I used a poem as a spell in the story (“if I heard that, I’d turn off my PS4.”), but I’m sure she didn’t bitch about the cutscene before the last Agnus boss fight in DMC4.’

Like the movie The Room (2003), it’s just easier to say “all of it” is bad because “all of it” contains plotholes and is inconsistent in tone, has terrible half-baked ideas and plot threads that remain unresolved and/or do nothing to further the plot, is rife with poor + inconsistent characterization, has a lack of any knowledge how the medium it exists in is made, and in general makes me wonder how much pottery enamel you’ve been huffing to think any of this was a good idea. Howeverrrr, in contrast to you, Tommy Wiseau is kind of odd and weirdly charming both in general and about his terrible movie — he’s found glory and success in its terribleness. You, in contrast, remain a miserable cunt with delusions of grandeur.

Dante and Agnus’ Shakespeare bit is actually a pretty well known trope called Ham-to-Ham Combat. Dante and Agnus are both ridiculous Large Hams in DMC4, and when two Large Hams meet, in general, they are likely gonna try to ‘out-over dramatic’ each other. This can lead to a scene becoming either really funny or really corny (or both) really fast. If things go too far — and they do, in this case — the scene can become a Hormel Event Horizon.

‘…but they LOVE the plotholes & inconsistencies if Capcom makes the latter, and writes a terrible story! And Crapcom’s canon for DMC is as straight as a paperclip or a dog’s hind leg. Hypocritical pricks.’

Subjective opinion is not, and never will be, objective fact. People are, as of when I checked again in the last ~5 minutes or so, absolutely able to enjoy whatever media they want regardless of what the general consensus on the quality of that media is.

As an example, I enjoy The Room (2003) despite its terribleness and it never fails to make me laugh, while your magnum opus makes me want to huff pottery enamel so the pain will stop despite you thinking it is the work of an idiot savant.

‘They were also mad that I wrote Dante as a wiseguy who is a little more low-key about it due to the circumstances— instead of being a pathetic manchild airhead that tries too hard.’

You didn’t write Dante.

You wrote Reboot!Donte — a fucking terribly out of character version of him, at that.

‘I was primarily concerned about moving the story along. I didn’t care about where a fictional island is supposed to go.’

You literally had one (1) job, Karen.

‘…Meanwhile, not a single character in DMC4 had an Italian accent, so uh, why should I give a flying fuck where I put it?’

Haven’t you been like… shitting on the DMC staff… for terrible writing… this enti— You know what? You’re obvs way too dumb to notice that contradiction, so I’ll let it slide.

Just… a word of advice, if I may? Don’t ever watch dub TV shows. That last brain cell would fuckin’ just burst all over your carpet.

(Actually, don’t watch subtitled shows either. An extremely popular anime that was set in Italy just wrapped and all the characters — le gasp! — spoke fucking Japanese. You would shit.)

‘I wasn’t paid to write any of what I wrote, but be my guest & send a PM if you want to throw money at me. By all means, do that.’

Oh, thank fuck, because they would have been ripped off, big time.

[ btw, you sound p. jealous of people that write/do creative work/commissions for ko-fi/payment tho. Not a good look tbbh. If it’s any consolation, though, I don’t get paid for making fun of you and/or analyzing your dumb bullshit, either. :( ]

‘The pricks at Capcom didn’t even bother giving us a proper DMC4 and it was a half-assed game, with the latter half being hasty filler material. The “special edition” they coughed up in 2015 was just glorified overpriced DLC.’

Ya know, you gotta be pretty far up your own ass to think this much of your opinion. And I’m saying this as a person that’s pretty far up her own ass like 85% of the time.

‘And another thing, Redgrave City in DMC5 seems to be in England, yet no survivors speak with English accents or slang/dialects.’

Pretty sure no survivors had speaking roles.

If you played the game you’d know this.

‘Meanwhile, Dante and Vergil had lived there when they were kids (until age 8), but they both have ordinary American or Canadian accents. Furthermore, how did the twins make it to the USA or Canada? According to the little booklet in the DMC1 game case, Dante’s office is in modern America.’

You know that invoking the imagery of a specific place without naming your location is normal and standard practice, right? Overwatch even does this (For Ex: Byōdō-in (平等院), Uji, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan is the inspiration for Hanamura, Château de Duingt, Duingt, France for Château Guillard, etc.)

Furthermore, you know the original DMC was a rejected first draft of Resident Evil 4, right? This is what retcon is for. You at least know what retcon is, right?

‘…That information isn’t very important, but I’m bringing it up to illustrate a point that being a fucking pedant about geography in a fantasy game is idiotic, even if the setting is akin to modern Earth.’

So is freaking the fuck out and sending death threats over a fantasy game but you didn’t let that stop you either lmfao.

It’s actually super important to establish your scenery and the way your world operates, especially in a written work in which readers are dependent on your vision and your descriptions, and if you were a decent writer, you’d know this.

‘It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter.’

YOU HAD ONE (1) JOB, KAREN.

‘What US states are the Arklay Mountains located in?’

General description puts them in the U.S. Midwest. Raccoon City itself is stated to have a population of ~100,000 at the time of outbreak, and the only city in the Midwest that matches that population in 1998 is Springfield, Missouri, with a pop. of ~110,000.

Springfield is on the Springfield Plateau of the Ozarks region of SW Missouri. So they’re part of the Ozark Mountains.

This all took less than ~3 minutes to google, btw.

‘Where is “Zanzibar Land?”’

I actually just wrote a comprehensive answer to an ask a few weeks ago about this. It’s actually stated to be in Tselinoyarsk (Целиноярск), the (fictional) area of the former USSR in which Big Boss carried out the Virtuous Mission/Operation Snake Eater in 1964. Tselinoyarsk itself is heavily implied to consist of parts of Kyrgyzstan and/or Tajikistan. If you played MGS3 you’d know how important the setting and the varied environments/climates are to the game mechan-

oh yeah wait you believe in segregation of story and gameplay mechanics. I forget you’re completely tone deaf sometimes lmao.

How far is ‘Salem’s Lot or Derry from Bangor? Who cares?’

Stephen King does, quite a bit. He even has a map on his website of ‘his’ fictional version of Maine:

My disappointment is immeasurable, Karen.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

one last thing..... on the topic of the fetishisation of youth, one thing that’s slowly starting to annoy me (although I’m guilty of doing it sometimes as well).... is saying that *insert random famous person in their early 30s here* is totally a vampire!!!! they just don’t age!!”

like y’all know that 30 is still pretty young in today’s standard of living/aging or whatever, right????? like yes there’s jokes about your 30s like: “oh, i carry paracetamol everywhere bc my back hurts all the time!” “by your 30s you should have: a neverending headache and feeling like you’re an ancient dinosaur” or whatever dumb shit that memes say.

like yes, I know that your metabolism slows down by your 30s, you start getting fine lines/laugh lines or whatever stupid shit that cosmo used to go on about for women in their mid20s and early 30s to get rid of/reduce the appearance of..... but still.

30 isn’t that bloody old??? I’m only saying this bc yeah.... I turn 30 in a few (5 really) years lmao.... but also because it is starting to annoy me that people are saying this about people who are still kinda young in a sense (like yes they’re adults duh)..... but in today’s world where people can live into their 100s... 30 really is NOT that old.... so, that famous dude.... like, say, brendon urie.... like i saw just 20mins ago on fb.... that you’re saying that “never ages!!! wtf!!! he’s totally a vampire!!!” really isn’t that old lmao, despite what the media and society says about hitting your 30s.

obvs im mostly only saying this, bc i realise that im gonna hit my 30s soon, and also bc my dating limit in my mid20s now, is someone in their early 30s lol, but still. SOMEONE! IN! THEIR! EARLY! 30s! IS! NOT! THAT! OLD! just in general life and aging; all despite what the media spins it as..... and what memes say it is lol.

[charmingpplincardigans]

Writer Tag Game

Tagged by @sullymygoodname! 

Author Name: momebie

Fandoms you write for: Many. My most current fandoms are The Umbrella Academy and Good Omens, but I wrote a metric ton of The Raven Cycle fic and that will probably happen again come November. 

Where You Post: momebie @ AO3

Most Popular Oneshot: Hello, I haven’t checked the numbers on any of my The Raven Cycle fic in a couple years, but apparently This Isn’t A Heist (aka, the one where Ronan and Adam are fake dating to annoy Declan and then real dating obvs) has 1,900 more kudos than the next runner up. So I am astounded to say it’s that one. 

Most popular multi chapter story: Without Having to Say, a The Raven Cycle Ronan/Adam college AU where Adam is a sculptor and Ronan agrees to model for a sculpture of Satan. I’m actually really fond of this one because I love both Adam’s sculptural style (I modeled his work after Claire Morgan’s) and some of my descriptions. As is typical for my TRC fic Adam is trying very hard to be understood and going about it in a difficult way. I love him.

Favourite story you wrote: I think it’s the weird TRC/BoysGirls fusion I wrote called Not a Dreamer, The Dream. Ronan/Adam, Blue/Gansey. They’re all myths and archetypes living in a strange and (I hope) beautiful world where love comes with magic and from it. I was trying to work in Katie Farris’s style, because I think it’s startling and achy and lovely and I’d love to write that way on my own. I wrote it for a friend who still hasn’t read it. I live in hope that one day she actually might. 

Story you were nervous to post: I was really nervous to post Oddities Observed, Vietnam 1968 (The Umbrella Academy, Klaus/Dave) for several reasons. The first was that the Vietnam War was a very real tragedy that still affects lots of people, most importantly the people who live there. And I know it’s a common trope in American cinema and pop culture now that always signals back to things that have very little to do with the people whose homes and land were being ravaged. I didn’t want to make light of that or hurt anyone by writing this dumb fic, which is why I shied away from showing actual combat and let it live in the stolen moments. The second was that it was my first TUA fic and posting in a new fandom is always nerve wracking. The third was that we don’t know anything about Dave! I had to make it all up and what if people hated the way I wrote him!? Luckily, if anyone did they didn’t tell me. 

How do you pick your titles: Usually it’s a lyric from a song I glom on to while I’m writing it. (What’s Done in the Dark was almost called With the Stars Pressing Down From Above OR It Matters But Little Babe before I settled on the Johnny Cash lyric, so you know, it’s mercurial until I post it.) Sometimes it’s a call back to a line I particularly enjoyed writing or another piece of art. 

Do you outline: I have started outlining in the last year or so, especially with the longer ones, but that’s because I’ve started outlining my original work more as well so that’s just becoming the Way I Work. Anything less than 6k or so is probably still just a brain dump, though. 

How many of your stories are complete? Everything posted is complete. Well, I still meant to add a fourth story to the collection of The Raven Cycle mermaid AU stories, but the stories posted are complete in and of themselves. 

In progress: I want to finish writing this follow up to What’s Done in the Dark that’s about that week Crowley and Aziraphale spend in bed together that I glossed over in that one. (Er, no actual human sex though, it’s mainly about Aziraphale and control and what happens when he can see the effect he has on things immediately. He’s used to the long game, you know? Manipulating the love in the world is all well and good until your adversary/best friend/most beloved becomes a glow worm.) I also want to finish this pre-series Klaus & Ben Best Brothers fic I started ages ago. I should do that before season 2 drops, huh?

Coming soon: The only thing getting to anyone soon is this poem I’m late on for the anthology. (So not soon enough, clearly.) Then I have artwork, and chapbooks to compile, and editorial work that I owe others. Then maybe I can think about just dicking around with fic again.

Do you accept prompts: Yes! Feel free to leave me a prompt about whatever whenever. Just know that the odds of it being written are literally 50/50 depending on my mood and what’s happening in my life at the time and that there’s a long list of prompts just chilling in my inbox going back LITERAL YEARS that haven’t been answered. But hey, maybe like Lisa you just know how to make me do what you want? Won’t know until you try! 

Upcoming story you’re excited about: I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO BE QUIET SO I CAN BE LEFT ALONE TO WRITE THIS, MY SECOND STORY ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL CROWLEY IS WHEN AZIRAPHALE’S LOVE TOUCHES HIM. JUST LET ME PINE AND ACHE WITH THESE CELESTIAL DUMMIES WHOM I LOVE. THANKS. 

Oh, and also this prompt @z-bot gave me requesting Crowley and Aziraphale in my original cyberpunk universe (AMLD). I am thinking gleefully about that every moment I can. 

I tag: @fourteenacross, @melayneseahawk, @farahandthemachine, @interropunct, and @anachronistique, and also anyone else who wants to talk about your fic! Tag me! I want to know! 

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

my top 10 series of 2019~

aka i gush about shiz i watched this year for waaaaaay too long lol... 

i watched a lot of stuff this yr (well... it felt like a lot? there’s a lot more i wanted to watch but i’m terrible at time management lol...) so let’ssss explore that in a ~numbered list~ lol

(spoilers - there’s a lot of gay shit here lol... what can i say, twentybiteen really pulled thru lol)

10 - Stranger Things (series 3) 

i know some people didn’t like this series, but i legit thought it was really good lol... i felt it had gone back to the style of the 1st series a lil more? (whereas series 2 had felt a lil disappointing in a way??) & i loved all the new characters introduced (robin is a personal fav, obv), & the whole splitting off into the lil groups was really effective in not just feel like it’s always the same group together, and it also allowed for some interesting character moments!

visually, stranger things always looks amazing! but i thought the whole summer/july 4th vibes really made it especially stunning tbh... as most things on this list, i’ve only seen it once, so i would like to rewatch it at some point (actually wanna do a full stranger things marathon tbh i was trying to explain what had happened in the show to my friend who stopped watching it early in series 1 & it was so difficult to remember exactly what had happened in it lool... ) 

there were obv things about it that i wasn’t as big on, like the whole evil russian-invincible guy was v cliche and kinda silly, & some of the actions scenes were a bit awkward(?) feeling... but i’m a sucker for any 80′s style media so those things just reminded me of the goonies or some shit lol

9 - Ghosts 

actually the funniest & cutest series ever tbh!!! as someone who grew up with horrible histories with the original cast, this just made me immensely happy to see the whole team together again! the humour style is v similar to horrible histories too btw, though i feel they let themselves have a lil more ‘dark humour’ than in that (since this is more a general audience, whereas hh was definitely more aimed at kids tbh... tho they still won a comedy award for it lol! actual legends lol anyway...)

only downside is that it’s only 1 series atm & it’s pretty short... but i know there’s gonna be a new series at some point so i’m v excited for that!! i feel there’s sooooo many places they can go with the concept (i.e. exploring how/when the other characters died (like kitty!!! i need to know her story lol i love her!), maybe introducing another character who can see ghosts?? like a medium/psychic or something/etc ...) but legit, please watch this if u haven’t!!! 

8 - Good Omens

this pretty much took over the internet this year lbr lol & tbh i’d def say it was worthy of the praise!! ineffable husbands aside, the main story is super engaging and enjoyable, with some really awesome side characters (& some of my fav character designs in anything ever tbh!!) but definitely the biggest draw was the ‘6000 years mutual pining’ romance which they did so well lol & it was something that was genuinely so lovely to watch tbh!! i also really loved the ending message of the show! i really hope to rewatch this next year when i think it’s gonna be aired on british tv at last????

downsides would be that the plot can be a bit confusing at times? but maybe that’s just me being dumb lol... but i imagine it’s a lot easier to understand if u’ve read the book lol?? i don’t have a problem w/ aziraphale & crowley not being “explicitly” gay or whatnot (i know i’ve seen some people annoyed with this?), since the whole idea of their relationship is so much larger than just them bonking or whatevs lol? (in general i think more media should have less focus on kissing/intimacy as an indication of love/romance... which is something i’ve already talked about lol)

oh, and the title sequence is INCREDIBLE lol i seriously loved it so much!!

7 - Killing Eve (series 2)

finally finished this the other day & it was so good!!! i really love the dark comedic tone of the show tbh & i def feel there was more of it in the 2nd series then the first! i also liked the further development of villanelle & eve’s relationship, which is obv the highlight of the show tbh! there was also a nice lot of twists tbh, though i’d say it was a lil less intense than the 1st series? (overall i’d say i prefer the 1st series, but the 2nd was a fab continuation... btw i also watched the 1st series this yr lol)

negative points are that the plot wasn’t quite as interesting as the 1st series... i think cos the focus of the murders was taken off of villanelle that we lost some of that drama from the 1st? i thought the ghost was gonna be a more integral part but she was kinda weirdly pushed aside once we learnt her identity? & the creepy son dude just annoyed me lol (but i suppose that was the point lol...)... so like yh there were lil things that didn’t engage me as much as the first, but overall i still really enjoyed it lol

this is def fulfilling the hannibal-shaped hole in my heart tbh... (another series i finished this yr...)

6 - Dark Blue Kiss the series

look, it’s no surprise this is on my list lol... i was hella hyped for this series when it was announced last yr, even though my expectations were VERY LOW after kiss me again the series (which, lbr, is a massive mess lol... like it’s My Mess tho)... but for real, this series really exceeded all my expectations... & then some! like i’m legit shook at how good it was ngl! especially morksun’s storyline, which was by far my fav in the show (as much as i’m petekao trash lol...) also, i was surprised by how genuinely pretty this show is! esp in comparison to kma (like i know i keep going on about the goddamn bruise makeup but it is so ugly in kma, but they really did a great job in dbk tbh!)

ok so there’s a lot of flaws lol... like... a lot (i’m already complained a lot so i won’t bore u with that rn lol...) but for real, the thing that i love the most about this is the discussions of coming out/homophobia/general young people struggles/etc etc which is so refreshing to see in these series! like i love that despite the cheesy tropes, it still knows when to be serious & genuine...

5 - He Is Coming To Me

another thai series, i believe this has the same director as dbk? (don’t hold me to that tho...)... legit one of the best, if not the best, thai series i’ve ever seen tbh! so adorable, so well acted, so funny & heartwarming like... legit it’s so good!! i was already excited about it from the trailer, but the way it really delivered on the emotionality, whilst keeping it lighthearted, was truly wonderful tbh! the main actors did a brill job i gotta say, and all the side characters were amazing too (there really wasn’t a character i didn’t like i’d say tbh? i need to rewatch tbh... there’s a lot i’ve forgotten since this came out p early in the year lol)... also, visually it’s so pretty!! i swear the cinematography in these thai series just keeps getting better & better & it def improves the watching experience tbh!

a down point would be that the first ep is a bit slow/awkward to get in to... & i think it def could put someone off? but i’d say to stick w/ it since it just keeps getting better & better! i’d actually say there isn’t really anything else i didn’t like about it ngl? it’s just so good guys... u really need to watch it!

4 - Russian Doll 

probs the only series on this list that i actually actively went to rewatch straight away lol (didn’t do a full rewatch btw)... it was SO good for real! i already loved the premise lol (it’s basically groundhog day, which is already such a great film, but they explored those ideas even more in this which i loveeeed) the leads are fantastic, and the story is generally so interesting!  plus the editing & song choices are really brill tbh... 

my one complaint would probs be that the series loses a lil momentum at certain points (esp later in the series), but it still keeps ur interest, and the ending is really well done too! i know there’s gonna be a 2nd series, so i’m really hoping it’ll be able to live up to this one, and also explore more of the characters/concepts/etc! i’m def hyped for it tbh!  

i feel like this series is simultaneously underrated and also v well known lol?? like i know everyone sees that ‘thursday! what a concept’ meme but i feel like i didn’t see as many people talk about it as much as other series this yr??? 

(for my top 3, i’d say i love them all equally/for different reasons... so the order they’re in is changeable lol)

3 - Gentleman Jack

one of the greatest bbc series of the year, maybe even the decade lol! actually a masterpiece of cinematography, incredible acting, gorgeous costumes, beautiful depictions of love and intimacy, hilarious characterisation & just generally a wonderful series!! like i can’t praise it enough! it’s literally everything i could ever want from a series, and more!!!!!!! like everytime i think about it i just feel like ‘!!!!!’ constantly lol... like... what did we do to deserve such a series for real?? something that i esp loved was that i vividly remember not that long ago w/ people complaining about the bbc for having minor lgbtq characters in things, so to have a actual main lesbian couple series be on prime time bbc telly is kinda mind blowing lol... like.. i know we’ve got a long way to go, but it does make me immensely proud!! 

i have no complaints lol... other than - needed to be longer (i think we’re getting a 2nd series right???? i hope so tbh!!)

2 - The Untamed 

look, i don’t make 15 piece series’ for nothing lol... this show really got to me ngl... like i knew it was gonna be amazing from seeing tonnes of mutuals start watching it & praising it.. .but ohhhhhhhh boy i wasn’t reading for the angst and heartbreak and just generally how invested i’d be in all the characters lol... like genuinely there’s so much to praise about this show! it may not be as super ‘polished’ as some of the other shows on this list, but it really has so much heart and hard work and dedication put into it which really shows in the final  product!

there’s obv issues with it, but i feel like it’s kinda unnecessary to go over them lol? there’s so much more of this series that has brought me genuine joy, the biggest being the fact they were still able to depict a really beautiful, loving and /romantic/ relationship despite the strict censor is truly incredible lol!! like w/ good omens, it just shows what you can do to depict love/romance without having to over-sexualise something...

i feel like i’m saying less for these top 3, but it’s just cos i’ve already gush to high heavens about how much i love them lol... 

1 - HIStory 3 - Trapped

you - *pretends to be shocked that this is my number 1*

yeh... no surprises that this is in my top 3 lol... what can i say that i haven’t already screamed about for months??? this series truly surpassed any expectations i could have had for a HIStory series... the story line is complex & pretty well done (it’s not perfect... but nothing is so....), the characters are wonderful & also brilliantly acted! i think the thing that i love the most is that the director wanted to create a series that wasn’t just a cheesy gay series (don’t get me wrong, i loVE cheesy gay series’ lol... ) but also would have a more interesting, well developed & more ‘mature’ story line (i think esp in comparison to other HIStory series’ which are usually school/uni based)... it’s also one of the few lgbtq series i’ve seen that isn’t just about ‘first loves’, and doesn’t place a big emphasis on a sexuality/identity crisis... it’s just so unabashedly a mystery-romance drama, which is just so refreshing to see! & i genuinely hope we can see more series like this, where gay characters don’t need to ‘prove’ themselves in order to be in a series or to be in relationships (which it often feels like, where writers need to explain /why/ characters are gay...)...  

phew... that’s a lot of text lol, just like w/ the untamed, i feel like i’ve already talked about the negative points of the series (plot holes, awkward moments, weird editing/sound choices, bad tropey plots), but the positives of this series seriously make it worthwhile, and i’m just so so SO happy this show exists lol...

all 3 of these series have a special place in my heart of inspiring lots of my own exploration of art, as well as writing, which has been really crucial in me understanding what i wanna do with my life (i know that sounds kinda weird, but at the start of the year i really didn’t know what i wanted... and i wasn’t even sure what i was good at lol... so thru these shows i was able to discover a lot more about my own style of working & thru all of them i was able to meet some wonderful new people on here which has made 2019 actually one of my most enjoyable years on tumblr! 

this has been an...... interesting year lol... but definitely these shows made it just a lil bit better!!! 

Happy new year to anyone who actually read thru this & let’s hope 2020 brings us even more brill shows ~~~

[archivistsrock]

I finally got to see Papi Chulo this weekend! I never thought the day would come! lol. I swear, it's been like a million years since it first was at TIFF.

Here’s the trailer for the movie:

General impressions: I really liked it! It was playing at a theater that was over an hour away from me, so I didn't want to ask any of my friends to go (they aren't Matt fans. I mean, that makes it sound like they don't like him, which isn't true...they're just not FANS). So I dragged my mom with me LOL. She's a trooper. Anyway, because I dragged my mom there, I was a little preoccupied the whole time wondering/worrying if she was bored. I really need to just go to Matt movies alone so I'm not focused on the enjoyment of the person I'm with. I worry too much.

But anyway, it was good! It was sweet and sad and funny. It was a little slow-paced, I would say. But not necessarily in a bad way. There are a few things that are revealed during the movie that makes things more impactful. I knew about them beforehand, bc I'm a slut for spoilers ha, but probs would have been more impactful if I hadn't known.

Matt is really good in it. I adore his character (Sean). He's just a really nice guy. Well-intentioned. Obvs has some flaws, but who doesn't? It's nice to have a movie where almost every scene features Matt. <3  Alejandro Pitino was also great in it. And Janet from The Good Place is also in it! lol.

To be honest, I don't really see it as a "buddy movie," which they seem to kind of be marketing it as. Mainly because the friendship is really one-sided. Ernesto maybe "gets along" with Sean, but I think it's a big stretch to say they're friends. The movie is much more about dealing with loss and loneliness than about friendship, and of the importance of real human interaction. By nature of Ernesto being an immigrant, the movies touches on some issues related to that, as well...but I don't see them as nearly the main focus.

I had kind of stopped reading reviews about the movie bc, tbh, I was just super annoyed that I couldn't see it. After viewing it, I went and read the more critical review on The Wrap [x]. And honestly? She's not wrong. I think some of her critiques are a wee bit harsh, but overall I can't really argue against most of her points. That said, I definitely don't think the movie is OFFENSIVE. But I do get the criticisms and why some people may not enjoy it. But I really did.

Okay, now I'm going to get really detailed and spoilery by request, so stop reading if you haven't seen it and don't like being spoiled! I warned you!

Okay, here's a run-down of the movie -- as detailed as I can get, considering I saw it 4 days ago and tbh my memory kind of sucks. It starts out with the clip we've all seen of Matt doing the weather forecast and having a breakdown on air.

Go to 6:35 to see that clip below:

He tries to claim it was "gastro" related, but obvs no one buys that. They force him to go home and take a leave of absence to figure things out and get better (istg they later refer to this as "gardening leave" and is that a thing in some places??? Like, you get leave to work on your garden?? OKAY I just looked it up and LOL it's just a term for someone still getting paid after they're suspended or on leave or terminated. It seems to be a British term. Must have come from the director, who's Irish. Or have other US-folks heard this term?). Anyway, back to the movie.

So he's at home. Nice house. Good view of LA. Lots of coyotes howling at night.  He's arranged to have a couple people come by to pick up this rare tree that's on his deck, that belonged to his ex-boyfriend, Carlos. He keeps calling Carlos and leaving voice messages. "Hey, just letting you know I'm getting rid of your tree." Etc. So they drag the tree away and we notice that when Carlos painted the deck, he didn't bother moving the tree, so there's a big unpainted circle in the middle of the deck. "Typical Carlos..." So Sean drives to the small hardware store to get supplies to fix this.

Outside the hardware store, there are a bunch of Latino immigrants/laborers hoping to get hired by people to do...home improvement/handy man stuff. Sean sees Ernesto and seems preoccupied/interested in him. Ernesto, as you know, is an older more burly Latino guy. Sean goes into the hardware store are talks to an employee about paint for his deck. "I just need a small amount to cover a little spot on the deck." "Aren't you going to paint the whole deck so it blends in?" "Haha, I see what you're trying to do there. No, just the tiny-ass sample can please."

So he gets home and starts painting in the circle, and it's painfully obvious he'll need to redo the whole deck, since all the rest of the paint has faded. So he drives back to the hardware store and is like, "Yeah, so I know I ignored your advice before. Sorry, I'm dumb." He buys more paint and a bigger brush. So he drives home with all his stuff, again passing the laborers and looking at Ernesto.

Once home, he checks his email and there's messages from his friends about how he's doing -- presumably since his break-up with Carlos. He's been avoiding his friends, and they're telling him he needs real human interaction and should talk to someone. He has kind of a light bulb moment and drives back to the hardware store and pulls up alongside the Latino laborers. He's like, "Hey, I need someone who can paint." A bunch of them are kind of in his face about it, wanting to be hired. Ernesto is just hanging back, quiet. Sean points to Ernesto and asks if he can paint. He's like "Yes. $20/hour." "Great!" (although Ernesto speaks little English and Sean speaks little Spanish, so it wasn't that easy). So Ernesto gets back in the car and they drive to Sean's house.

He kind of reminds me of me during this part, because he hired Ernesto to work for him, but when they're getting out of the car and Ernesto gets the bag of paint, Sean is like, "No, no! Let me get that!" They go back and forth a bit, but Ernesto ends up carrying it. Anyway, I always feel weird having people do things for me, even if I'm paying them. So he shows Ernesto the deck and we get the other scene we've seen before. The "more than one day" scene. "Mas que un dia."

Sean is all like, "Do you want water? Food? Are you okay?" etc. Ernesto is kind of amused but also just like...leave me alone and let me work. This is weird. I don't understand anything you're saying.

Sean goes and gets lunch and  brings it back and yells out to Ernesto, "Lunch!" Ernesto is like...okay. Time to eat, I guess. And sits down on the deck and takes something wrapped in tinfoil out of his bag. Sean is like, "No! Inside! I brought lunch for us!" And it's like this whole big spread. Some type of Asian cuisine. I can't remember which, but Ernesto picks up an eggroll and is like, "Taquito!" lol. You can tell Ernesto is a little uncomfortable with everything, but he's also just like...rolling with it. Okay, you're paying me. I guess we're eating lunch.

Then Sean convinces him to leave with him and they go to a park and Sean wants to go out in a rowboat. Sean wants to row, but Ernesto is like, "Yeah, I'm not going in there with you unless I row." So he ends up rowing. Please note, that all this "conversation" is not as smooth as I'm writing it! Ernesto really doesn't get much of anything Sean says. Anyway, Sean treats the rowboat ride like he's in therapy. He just starts spilling his feelings and issues out to Ernesto. Ernesto just nods like, "Yeah, okay." At one point, I think he does say something like, "I don't understand anything you're saying." Sean is like, "I feel so much better just saying this stuff out loud!" He falls asleep in the boat, and Ernesto calls his wife and is like, "GUESS WHERE I AM?? IN A FUCKING ROWBOAT WITH THIS GUY." His wife is like, "Ha! He's gay and he totally digs you." Ernesto is like,"Yeah, he's gay. But he doesn't like me. I'm old. I'm fat. Why would he like me?" His wife is all cute and is like, "I'm a woman. I know these things. He's into you." Then Sean wakes up so Ernesto hangs up the phone.

They get back to the pier and the rowboat operator guy says, "I like this whole "Driving Miss Daisy" situation you guys have going on!" Sean gets pissed and is like, "What do you mean?? We're friends. Why would you say it's like "Driving Miss Daisy"??" The operator guys gets all uncomfortable and is like..."Umm...because he's rowing you around....?" So Sean is pissed that the guy assumes he paid Ernesto to row him around. But also like...it's true. As much as Sean is annoyed that the man is making that assumption, they really aren't friends. The only reason they're there together is because Sean is paying Ernesto. So he then drops Ernesto back off at the hardware store at the end of the day and is like. "Tomorrow? Here at the hardware store?" "Okay." Then he pays him the money he owes him and they part ways.

I don't recall exactly the timeline here, but at various points throughout the movie, Sean is scrolling through Grindr, or whatever hook-up app it is he's using. He's also shown lying in bed at night and is tortured by the sound of coyotes howling.

He picks up Ernesto the next morning and is like, "We're hiking. Not painting." So he takes him to Runyon Canyon to hike. On the hike, Sean keeps talking talking talking and Ernesto is still like, "Okay, I have no idea what you're saying." At a scenic viewpoint, they're looking out at the city. Sean casually asks where Ernesto lives, and this kind of freaks Ernesto out. Like "Why do you want to know??" Sean's like, "Oh, I'm just curious!" Anyway, he points and says the general area (I can't remember which town/neighborhood it was). While they're standing there, one of Sean's friends sees them and comes over. He volunteers to take a pic of the two of them, and when he does, he says, "Cute couple!" Sean starts to correct him but then doesn't. Ernesto doesn't say anything, obviously. The friend then invites Sean to a party he's having the next evening. Sean does learn a little about Ernesto throughout the few days together. He learns he's married and has kids. He sees a pic of them. Honestly, that's about it.

Ernesto calls his wife from here and again is like, "Guess where the fuck I am now?? HIKING. Yeah, it's pretty." But he actually feels guilty for getting paid to go on hikes. His wife is like, "Whatever. He's paying you. Cool beans." Sean then takes Ernesto to a health market and wants him to try a shot of some gross health drink. He takes a sip and is like, "No. This is disgusting." Sean's like, "Yeah, you're right. It's horrid. But it's healthy and I'm drinking it bc it cost a shit ton." Oh, while Sean was buying the drink, one of the store employees went up to Carlos and handed him a bunch of boxes because he thought he worked there. He got him mixed up with another Latino guy working there. Awkward. White people are dumb.

Sean drives Ernesto back the hardware store and is like, "Okay, tomorrow. Meet you here. Also, we're going to a party later that night."

I don't remember the next day very well. I assume maybe Ernesto did some work? Not sure. Anyway, they then go to Sean's friend's party together. It a big party of all gay men. Ernesto gets kissed on the mouth (not in a sexual way) by one of Sean's friends. He obvs feels a little uncomfortable. Mostly bc he doesn't know any of them and I assume can't communicate with them. He doesn't seem to have a big issue with gay guys. Whenever Sean's friends see Ernesto, they're all like, "Oh, I get it." We later see Sean's phone contacts and a pic of his ex Carlos, and he is also an older, burlier Latino man. So clearly, Ernesto reminds Sean of Carlos. Now we understand his...obsession? Fixation? Attachment?

Ernesto calls his wife from the party is is kind of freaking out about it. "A MAN KISSED ME ON THE MOUTH." But his wife is like, "Dude, have fun." So he seems to have a decent time. Then they leave the party in a Lyft and there's a pretty great scene where Madonna's "Borderline" comes on the radio and Ernesto is like, "Hey, I know this song!" So they drunkenly sing it together in the back of the Lyft. The Lyft stops at the hardware store, and they're both sitting in the back of the car looking at each other. Sean looks a little confused as to why Ernesto is sitting there looking at him. He then leans in to kiss Ernesto, but Ernesto is like. "No! I'm waiting for my money." The Sean's like, "OMG yeah. Sorry." And he pays him and Ernesto gets out. Then the Lyft takes Sean home.

We then see Ernesto make his way home. He has to take a couple buses. He finally get home and we see his house and his wife. It's a pretty nice house. Normal, I mean. Not Sean-level nice. His wife is awesome. Ernesto is like, "Honey, you were right. I am irresistible." "I told you I knew!" Then they go to the bedroom to presumably have sex.

The next day, Sean drives to the hardware store but none of the Latino guys are out there. He's confused and asks someone driving by where all the men are, and the guy's like, "It's Labor Day, you fucking idiot." So Sean drives home. He gets drunk and ends up inviting a guy over from Grindr. He quickly gets in the shower (shower scene!), and ends up falling in the shower while holding a glass and cuts himself a bit. Then the doorbell rings so he gets out. He answers the door clothed, but wet. The hot guy is like, "You're wet." "I just showered." Sean invites the guy in and asks if he wants a drink. "Not at this hour." (early) "No, no...just like...water?" Sean turns to pour a glass of water and hot guy strips naked in the kitchen. Sean turns and sees him and is like, "HOLY SHIT!" and drops his glass. He goes down to pick up the glass, and pops back up all bloody. His head is cut, his hands are cut up. The naked guy is just like.."Are you okay?? Are you drunk?" And is kind of legit concerned for him. Sean is like, "No! I'm fine!" Naked guy is like, "Um, I got naked because I assumed we were going to...?" Sean is like, "Listen, can we just talk?" Naked guy puts his clothes on and is like, "You need to get your shit figured out. Only you can make yourself happy." Then he leaves.

At some point...today? Tomorrow? Yesterday? I don't know, but at some point he goes back to the news station to be like, "Hey! I'm ready to go back to work!" His boss shows him the video of his breakdown that's on youtube. AWKWARD. And they're like, "It's been 4 days. Leave." So he does.

He calls his ex Carlos to say...something. But instead of getting his voicemail, he gets a message saying that the number has been disconnected. He freaks out and calls someone and asks the lady on the phone why the number was disconnected. "Why wouldn't we disconnect it? Carlos has been dead for 6 months." :O So now we learn that Carlos isn't an ex...he actually died 6 months prior. So this is why Sean is having such a hard time. There's then these flashback scenes from previous moments in the movie. We see Sean in the rowboat talking, but he's alone. We see him hiking and talking to no one. At first I was like, "Did Sean make Ernesto up??" But no, that's not it. I think this was just supposed to represent that Sean was using Ernesto as a stand-in for Carlos. He felt so much better those two days talking to "Carlos," but Carlos wasn't really there. He was still alone. Ernesto isn't his lover, isn't his friend. Just a guy he hired. [I think? Anyone else have other interpretations of this?]

The next day he goes to pick up Ernesto and he's not there. He tries asking the other men where Ernesto is, and they're basically making fun of Sean. "Hey, I'll go on a boat with you!" Word has got out that Sean is having Ernesto do all this weird shit. I think Ernesto's wife was talking. Sean seems to frantically need Ernesto. He drives to the town where Ernesto said he lived (population of like 60,000) and just starts asking people if they know Ernesto. Some kid steals his phone and whacks him over the head with his skateboard. Sean goes into a bar and gets wasted. He then sees a guy go into the bar that he recognized as Ernesto's brother-in-law from a pic Ernesto showed him. So he follows him to a house, and there's a Quinceanera going on. I guess Ernesto's daughter?? But I didn't remember him having daughter that age, so I could be wrong. idk. Anyway, Sean drunkenly crashes the party. They dump him in one of the kids' bedrooms where he passes out. He wakes up later and slinks out.

Time has passed during the next scene, and Sean is back at work, but makes an announcement that this is his last weather report. He's leaving. We don't know where or for what. But we had learned earlier while he was talking away with Ernesto that he doesn't even like being a weatherman and he actually hates the weather in California. So it seems he's moving on. He seems much healthier. He write Ernesto a letter apologizing for crashing the party, saying how ashamed he is and that he was going through a tough time.

Sean's at home and the doorbell rings. He goes to the door and it's Ernesto's son (like 8 years old??). Ernesto comes out of the truck with painting supplies. The kid acts as an interpreter. They go up to the deck and Ernesto starts working. Sean is like, "You don't need to do this! Why are you finishing the deck?" Ernesto is like, "Because you sent me $200 with the letter." Sean is like, "No, not to finish the deck! For room and board!" He sent him the money as an apology for crashing the party and for them letting him sleep it off in their house and for some food they left out for him. Anyway, they start sanding the deck together (Sean is a terrible sander). Ernesto is like, "You're not paying me!" They laugh. Movies fades to black.