#obviously this is probably not the case lmao

[resizura]

i have a crack theory that capcom purposefully didnt make re1, not just because it already had a remake but because they wanted more opportunity to reboot the series without making it obvious

[laugtherhyena]

Oh right uhh, Kokoro lives in -2+2 (And Emma, and also Hibiki)

[morningmask27]

Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

[moontrinemars]

just checked for the first time, somehow, and discovered that the asteroid for my first name and the asteroid for my last name aligned exactly with a difference under one degree in not just longitude, but also speed, latitude, and declination

and smack dab in the middle of my 8th house stellium. like. that's so weird it's borderline dumb. girl (universe) what are you playing at

[moonlight-at-dawn]

I hate when companies use "We're family!" as an excuse to ask too much of their employees, or the nepotism towards family members. I have strong feelings because when I was a kid, my family owned a small printing company that my grandfather had started.

It was going through hard times (another gripe there, as it relates to the destruction of many small businesses), and this was how it was dealt with:

The non-family workers got priority for getting paid. When it got REALLY tough, they were encouraged to find work elsewhere. Not fired, just a "We don't know what's going to happen, so you should make sure you're taken care of" deal.

Then the in-laws, like my mom, and children, like my eldest cousin on that side.

Then the non-management immediate family (it was owned by my dad and uncle, while my two aunts - their sisters - worked in different positions).

When one of my aunts thought being family was enough to secure a steady paycheck and didn't actually work, they did the tough thing and caused some family drama by firing her. It was tough, the relationship has never been the same even though that was decades ago, but it needed to happen.

My uncle and father went months, even as much as a year, without paychecks, to ensure that everyone else got paid and the business could keep running.

THAT'S what "We're family" SHOULD mean. It means everyone gets taken care of. It means sacrifice by the HIGHEST, not the lowest.

Fuck companies that use it to demand sacrifice from the ones already with the least.

[lady-harrowhark]

debating between two lyrics from the same song to use for a fic title where one of them is more applicable content-wise and adds a sprinkle of levity without tipping the balance too much and the other is just a straight up gorgeous heartbreaker and still applicable but at a more abstract level. no one suffers as much as me.

[cowboyskeletons]

residents of concretta!

[fridayyy-13th]

oh so tonight's one of those Yearning nights, huh

[girltomboy]

Wow, I just had the least productive conversation with my bf in the longest time lol. He called me to "apologize" I guess? And I tried to have a more in-depth conversation about what happened, and why he thinks his reactions/habits are normal, and he once again saw this as an attack, a 'versus' type of situation rather than an opportunity to communicate, so he kept giving me these abrupt and half-sarcastic responses, and it was pretty much going nowhere. And then he started telling me he "said what he had to say" AKA the same concise & repetitive apology, and I was like why did you even call me if you had this little intention to actually talk to me?? To which he replied idk and I had to hang up otherwise I'd have exploded or something lmao like idk what his brain is going through but I'm so over this and not knowing where the hell this relationship is even going?

[florbelles]

sigh so i can’t decide if i should merge nessa’s canon with síle’s because unlike. say. celemina there’s nothing INCOMPATIBLE there and they theoretically could have known each other before/nessa in many respects works better as a tagalong than an infected party member/tav but hmm i don’t want to like. bloat the verse too much

[tenrose]

I'm reading Rebecca for the first time, and ignoring the obvious gothic inspiration, psychological thriller (which I'm way too early in the book to comment on), from the very first chapter, the style of narration vividly reminds me of The Haunting series.

[deadsetobsessions]

Snart Jr.

Lovely prompt by @stealingyourbones in her long prompts list, in which Danny Phantom meets the Rogues of Central City! This will have multiple parts, I just haven't written them yet.

Disclaimer: I know very little about Captain Cold and Mirror Master despite having watched some of the Flash. The general vibe I get from Flash is that Flash just really cares about his rogues as evidenced by how he talks to them and doesn't immediately one-shot them like I'm pretty sure he could do. And that Captain Cold is a snarky asshole that just wants to steal things and follow his plans as planned? Tbh, the whole mini-arc/episode with him just felt like Snart was trying to coordinate the world's riskiest group project. He was so done by the end lmao

"Huh. That's new."

Danny hovered an inch off of the ground, having just been spat out by swirling green portal. He was going to have to get back to the Zone later to hot potato Skulker through a couple of portals in revenge. He had a math exam he had to study for, dammit.

Danny sighed. Might as well see what's happening. The portals rarely lead somewhere boring, and Danny was bored. He floated further in, form going intangible and invisible as he passed through thick but insulated marble walls. See, Jazz? He could totally plan ahead. He's also learning that he could probably rob a bank easily, but Danny would never.

"Never been spat out in a bank before," he hummed, eyes flickering on the numerous forms of cowering people in the lobby. The goons scattered about don't see him, but it would take another ghost to even detect his presence so it was to be expected. He moved further in with little hindrance and soon touched down onto polished floor behind two incredibly suspicious individuals.

"What-cha do-ing?"

The two figures, currently and obviously robbing a bank, whirled around in surprise. Their respective weapons whirred to a start before they stopped, baffled by the meta teen standing there with his white hair waving about and innocent look pasted all over his face.

Leonard Snart knew instinctively that the kid was so full of shit. He'd bet his entire plan on the fact that the kid knew exactly what kind of shit he was stirring. Still, Snart was guilty of a lot of things but direct child-endangerment wasn't ever one of them.

"How'd you get in here, kid?" Mirror Master raised his laser pistol, ready to distract and divert the kid with threats of violence- which Snart glared at him for- or with his hall of mirrors that he'd run to.

Danny shrugged. "I walked. If you guys didn't want me here, you should have guarded the place better."

"They were supposed to," Snart drawled. He cased the kid. Teen. The kid had a weird halo effect, that seemed to draw the eyes to the stylized letter on his hazmat suit. The kid was young. Meta. Non-hostile. "You trying to stop us?"

Danny shook his head. "Nah. Came from the Ghost Zone so 's really non'a my business. I was just being nosy."

Snart gave a curt nod and nudged Mirror Master back into cracking the security measures.

Mirror Master scoffed. "What the hell is a ghost zone?"

"I mean, it's pretty self explanatory, right? It's a zone where ghosts live. Hence, you know, Ghost Zone." Danny did a little jazz hands (oh, yeah, he was definitely gonna get Jazz to make that joke sooner or later) for emphasis.

Snart paused for the slightest bit before continuing with his task. Did ghosts exist?

"...Did the Flash send you here, kid?"

"I'm not a kid," Danny scowled, walking right up to them. He got enough of that from his own Rogues, thank you. "And what's a Flash?"

"The Flash, kid." Mirror Master corrected, shoving monitors and PC's and expensive looking office chairs into... a mirror dimension? Danny shrugged and rolled with it.

"Who's that? Your boss?"

"Local superhero, not our boss. You're not from here," Snart quickly deduced as a small smile wormed onto his face from successfully cracking the security without setting off an alarm. They'd have ten minutes before the system cycles the access codes again and flags the fraudulent ones. That should be enough time.

"Superhero? Are they fast? Actually, where is here?" Danny glanced around at the now bare security office like the Flash would show up.

The guy in green and yellow took everything not nailed down to the ground. Danny respected that, even if he kind of wanted to stop the robbery. But he's not really supposed to interfere. That would be uber rude, since it looked like the guy in the fur jacket seemed like he had planned everything precisely.

"You're in Central City, kid. Did you take a wrong turn trying to get to Keystone or something?" Green-yellow guy snorted.

"Gonna be real honest with you, I've got no idea where that is. What state are we in?" Danny followed as the pair rushed to the safe doors. He could offer to phase them through but no matter how flexible Danny's morals have become over the years, he was going to draw a line at actively helping a person commit crime.

"Kansas. Do you teleport? Are you a teleporting meta?" Snart asked, eyes intense as he both glared at Danny and pressed an ear to the safe door.

"Nah, I wish I could teleport. Getting to school would be so much faster. Kansas? Huh, I've never been."

"How lost are you, kid?" Mirror Master incredulously paused from robbing the packages that were delivered to the bank.

Danny shrugged. "Oh, I'm Danny. Who are you guys?"

"Captain Cold. That's Mirror Master."

Danny shifted as the safe clicks open. "So, uh, are you guys the villains here?"

Captain Cold shot him a weird look. "We're actively robbing a bank, kid. That should be obvious."

"Also, you're acting real calm for a kid speaking to two of Fawcett's best super-villains." Mirror Master chimed in, laser-ing off locks on deposit boxes and shoving cash and stuff into his mirror dimension.

Danny padded in after them. "Eh, you haven't shot at me- not even on sight- yet, which is more than I can say for law enforcement, so you're pretty chill in my book."

Captain Cold snorted, pointedly taking his freeze gun and breaking off a large manual lock. "I believe it's my job to be the chill one. Plus, we don't kill. The Flash would be up our... business if we did. It's not worth the trouble."

"You can say ass. I've heard worse."

"Not from me, kid."

Danny hadn't had that kind of consideration from anyone in a long time. Even if it's a bit... mother-hennish, the halfa couldn't find it in him to be annoyed. "Ah, okay. Well, you also haven't kidnapped me or tried to stop me from following you, so..."

Mirror Master shoved a giant painting into his dimension. "You haven't tried to stop us; it'd be weird trying to stop you."

"Makes sense."

"Heh. You're alright, kid. Though... who's kidnapping you?"

"My fruit loop of a godfather. It's a thing," Danny avoided the searching gaze like a pro.

"Hold this." Captain Cold said suddenly, giving Danny a massive dufflebag.

"Wait, what?"

Captain Cold began stuffing the bag with cash and once the money in the vicinity (not that much) went in, he said "Go look around. Having another person in here is a risk so you might as well make up for it."

Danny's calling it. Captain Cold was full of shit. The guy's a big softie. Danny smiled sheepishly and agreed. Danny circled the place, pointing out expensive looking stuff- "for fun" and not because they were nice to him- when he felt the tell-tale zaps of an anomaly in Clockwork's domain.

"Move!" He shouted at the two villains, both of whom dove out of the way. Instinctively, Danny threw out his gloved hands and iced the floors, instincts bristling at the incoming danger. His jaw dropped as a blur encountered the ice and went ass over tea kettle onto the floor, unable to stop its own momentum.

"Oh shit!" Danny uttered, eyes wide as the blur slammed into the opposite- reinforced- wall with a pained shout. The stopped person was wearing red, with a lighting bolt motif all over their uniforms. That implied speed. Speed implied "The Flash." Danny knew a hero when he saw one and he just iced him. Shit.

"What-" The Flash groaned. Mirror Master and Captain Cold gaped.

"OhmyancientsI'msosorrygottagobye!" Danny shouted.

"Hey, wait, kid-!" Captain Cold shouted. Danny ignored him, going invisible in a panic and sank into the ground, mortified. After thirty seconds of self-hatred, he zoomed out and away. Danny held his head in his hands as he flew back to where Amity was...

Only to stare down at the empty plots of land where his city was supposed to be. Danny shoved a hand into his chest and pulled out his phone.

[No results for Amity Park. Did you mean "Amity Arkham"?]

"What."

Any research he did after that only turned up a Jasmine Fellona, a budding neurobiologist in her field, and other people that were adjacent to the people Danny knew. But nothing, nothing from Amity Park.

"Oh, yeah, we're definitely not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy."

---

As the Flash stood around to keep an eye on the hand-cuffed villains, he couldn't help but ask.

"So, uh, Snart. Did you... get a kid?"

"What." Snart asked, incredibly done with this shit.

"You know. Snart junior? With the ice and everything?" Flash gestured at the un-melting ice that covered the floor leading into the safe. "I mean, I'm not thrilled you're pulling your kid into a life of crime..."

"No."

"Wait, you had a kid and didn't tell me?" Mirror Master asked, mildly offended. "That was your kid? No wonder no one shot at him!"

"He's not my kid." Snart gave Flash the stink-eye. "And don't you have a couple of baby sidekicks running around?"

"C'mon dude, you're so obviously fond of him. It's okay, you don't have to hide it." Flash avoided the topic... in a flash.

"Can someone arrest me right now so these idiots can be removed from my vicinity?" Snart snarked to the approaching officer, jerking his head to point at the beaming Flash.

"You and me both, buddy," Officer West sighed.

---

One trip to the zone and a stressful conversation with Clockwork later, Danny was found in his keep, smacking his ghost head into the ghost wall of his ghost keep. Danny would unleash a Wail if it didn't have the nasty habit of bringing everything around him.

Apparently, he got "Amity'd," a process which meant Amity spat him out like an over chewed dog bone and refused to take him back.

"That doesn't even make sense! I left there a bunch of times! And came back!"

"The city has decided that it was your time to leave, Danny." Clockwork spared a wane smile for the curled up boy-king.

"I have people to protect there! My entire life! My haunt!" Danny yelled, breaths that he didn't technically need coming shorter and shorter. The neon green of the Zone whirled in and out of his vision in a dizzying shudder of anxiety and incoming panic.

"It wasn't your haunt, I'm afraid. The city nurtured you as a young spirit- thus shared her haunt- and has decided that it was time for you to... leave the nest, so to speak."

That stopped Danny's panic in its tracks. "Are you telling me she NightVale-d me? Some kind of involuntary coming-of-age bs?"

If he weren't on the edge of hysterical laughter, Danny would take a moment and proudly say to Mr. Lancer that he had paid attention in class.

"...Yes."

"Fuck." Danny dropped his head down in despair. His head made a loud thunk. The bag of cash he'd accidently made away with sat innocently at his feet. Further proof that it wasn't some nightmare he'd wake up from anytime soon.

---

Danny slumped over the desk, exhausted. Technus had lent him a ghostly hand and hacked into government data bases to re-establish his social security number and all the other dumb bits and bobs that he needed to establish his identity because Amity was an actual ghost town. Ghost to reality, ghost to real life. Ancients, Amity even had their own data network, which he couldn't access outside of Amity itself. This meant that Danny couldn't even call anyone. Ugh.

"I gotta find a place to live," he mumbled to himself. Danny, despite knowing that he needed to do things, did not move for another ten minutes.

Then, as his phone alarm went off, buzzing on the table. Like... Clockwork... Danny sat up straight and wiped all traces of wallowing self pity off his face. The people in the library- students- gave him solemn nods of solidarity. Danny nodded back and left the library.

He wandered around Fawcett City, somewhere Clockwork had recommended he stayed. With Clockwork, recommendations tended to be life-important (plot-important?) orders. Danny liked the place, really. It gave off the weird and settled "what-the-fuck,-Box-Ghost-did-you-have-to-destroy-the-mall?" vibes Amity constantly gave off after the ghosts started coming through. He thought he even saw a talking tiger! Awesome.

"Hey, are you new here?"

Danny looked down. His reflection stared back at him.

Did he have another kid? Did someone clone him again? Ancients curse you, Vlad!

"Uh- yeah."

"Oh. Do you need help getting around? I was born and raised here all my life, so I can totally do that!"

Oh thank the Ancients, this wasn't another Dani. Just a weirdly similar looking kid.

"You know I'm a stranger, right?"

"I don't think anyone helping Nanny Mae pick up her oranges would hurt kids," the kid said archly, but with a grin so like Dani, it made Danny miss his younger sister.

"Okay, you got me there. But still."

The kid sighed. "I know how to be safe, thanks. I'm Billy!"

"Danny. Nice to meet you."

"Okay, Danny, where you off to?"

"I'm actually trying to find a place that'll be cheap to rent." He's sixteen, but Danny could totally pass as eighteen. "I'm thinking about moving to Fawcett. It's nice here, with all the ambient magic and stuff."

This got him a wide-eyed look. "Do you use magic?"

"Something like that."

"Cool."

Danny took in the considering glint in Billy's eyes and decided that it was future!Danny's problem. Present!Danny was currently occupied with trying to stay off the streets. That giant bag of cash he'd accidently absconded with would be helpful and Danny felt kind of bad... but his growling stomach had chased that away quickly.

"This way!"

Danny shrugged his wavering morality off and followed the kid, shouldering his new and stolen duffle bag. If anything happened, he could just go ghost. It wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened in this city, Danny made sure to check.

"Have you been by the zoo?" Billy began to rattle off his favorite details about the Fawcett city zoo as he wove around the city.

Danny didn't think he'd actually have to go ghost.

"Not yet, actually. Is it true that there's a talking tiger there?"

"Yeah! Tawky Tawny! He's my friend!"

"Awesome."

[bertoyana]

i'm so sorry i don't want to be the "the party ended 5 years ago and he's still here" person but dark phoenix's final scene is still SO funny to me. especially to see how erik plays charles like a fiddle

like: he shows up with NO helmet AND a chess set. (he did this last time in days of the future past, and it worked, right? so it should work again, right? right???)

so, he sits, completely uninvited mind you, and he tries (and fails terribly bless his heart) at starting a normal conversation, he asks charles about his retirement, probably trying to get charles to like, talk about it or whatever

(rip erik's hairline)

charles is not having any of it, which... valid. the last time he and erik had a full conversation, erik told him to shut the fuck up 

anyways, erik realizes his failed attempt at being casual did NOT work like he wanted, so he pulls out plan b - he calls charles his old friend (which, if you pay attention, in the prequels they use 'old friend' as a term to de-escalate the situation)

which WORKS, for some reason, and charles immediately deflates and gives erik the tiniest smile in existence, because erik showing he cares always seems to do it for charles lmao

(he's so embarrassing . god bless. @ x men: is this your leader)

anyhow, erik pulls out the second part of his plan b - he asks charles if he wants to play a game. still playing casual. just two buddies. just two guys. some guys. just some friends having a toootal normal n casual conversation.

and you can immediately see charles close himself up, he crosses his arms and avoids looking erik in the eye. erik managed to soften him up with the 'old friend' and having his helmet off, but it's not enough YET so erik pulls out his plan c. luckily his last one, christ, charles really does like to keep them waiting doesn't he

keep an eye on erik's entire demeanor in this scene, his position is not closed off like charles', he's open, he leans on the table, and maintains eye contact with charles. his head is tilted to one side and everything, completely harmless

i'm so obsessed with charles' microexpressions here james mcavoy you are so insane

anwyays, charles uncrosses his arms and his position does come off a little more open, but if you watch the scene you can see him shake his head. this obviously touches him - but he's probably intending to say still no. probably because he has the biggest martyr complex i've ever seen in a fictional character 

so, erik pulls up his fucking plan d (lol) and hopefully this time IT WILL be the last. he pulls the pawn out of his jacket pocket.

(why the fuck is this played like a fucking romantic scene i'm so serious, why is he smiling to himself like that)

mind you, erik had the pawn in his pocket the entire time, which could mean either of two things:

charles looks surprised/confused the entire scene, but in THIS part he doesn't look confused, he just looks like he's still trying to figure out what erik is trying to do. so it either means erik makes charles play this 'guess where it's hiding' game all the time (????) which doesn't really sound likely for him to do, but erik is always begging charles to get into his head so it wouldn't surprise me if he actually did this every time. god knows he's desperate enough or

erik was expecting charles to reject his offer right away, and had multiple other plans shoved up his ass if this was the case. this also seems likely, he's obsessive enough to have thought multiple ways through. 

anyways, he puts his two fists up and pulls up the most mortal sentence in existence. one he knows charles won't be able to deny him

"just ONE game 🥺 for old time's sake???? 🥺🥺🥺" man stfu you are 62 years old GET UPPPP 

anyways - pay attention to his wording. 

"just one game" because erik came ALLLL this way for charles, so charles might as well play ONE game with him, and then erik could be gone - if charles wanted it that way. 

"for old's time sake" when things were easier and when they were more at peace - when they were on each other's side. when they were together and the mansion, just after charles had saved him and gave him a hom- oh wait 

(also, there's 100% a hidden meaning here. and there’s also a 100% chance i’m reaching but idc. the pawn could be in his left hand or his right. the possibility is 50/50. the only way charles could know with 100% certainty was if he entered erik's mind - if he took up erik's offer. but he could also not get into erik's mind and just... guess and fail - by thus, not taking erik's offer. erik is giving him an out, a choice to make the first move)

(and the chess piece he offers charles a WHITE pawn. the white pieces are the first ones to move. 

also also if you have paid attention to the previous movies, erik is always the one to use the white pieces, this is the first movie where we see charles play with white)

anyways, charles does struggle a bit with the choice, but ultimately he decides to accept erik's proposal and """guesses""" right.  

and going from erik's... entire face and smirk lmao i'm guessing charles went into his head to get it right. mind you, this is like sex for them

charles accepts - erik is very relieved to know he's not the only one who's down horrendously. and after the worst guessing game in history (seriously, the pawn was in erik's right pocket and then he had it hidden in his right hand... man i guessed that shit and i'm not even a telepath) they start rearranging the board

so anyway, erik gives charles this look like he wants to climb him like a tree, which means that playing edward 'down embarrassingly bad' rochester in jane eyre (2011) finally fucking paid off

erik doesn't even blink mind you, and charles doesn't take his eyes off erik either way, which means they are just STARING at each other without blinking for god knows how long LMAOOO 😭😭😭

once everything is said and done, erik makes a silly little joke and charles rebuts. then erik gives him the biggest smile i've ever seen him give to someone since magda, and then he follows it up with a smaller, softer smile with no teeth

seeing this for the first time in the theater was like getting shot in the chest, no joke

mind you erik stopped trying like three minutes ago but for some reason, the first time we finally see charles soften up in the ENTIRE movie is after he sees erik smiling at him. which could mean nothing.

and the thing is: charles does have a big heart, and he means well, most of the time, but he also doesn’t necessarily has… the best way of showing it with his actions lol. erik knows this, and he knows charles has a thing for lost causes, for people the society has given up on. charles threw himself into the freezing water to save erik - even when he didn't KNOW him. 

AND he also knows charles has the biggest soft spot for him, he KNOWS - because all those years ago, charles' biggest accussation wasn't "you paralyzed me" it was "you left me". because after erik lost his wife and daughter, charles rushed to find him, to make sure he was okay. because nine years ago, charles looked at apocalypse and said "fuck you you are twisting erik's grief, and you are hurting him" to A GOD BTW. TO HIS FUCKING FACE NO FUCKS GIVEN AT ALL

tldr: call erik the fucking violinist because boy he sure knows how to play charles like a fucking instrument and how to press all the right keys to get him to say yes to him. he gave charles an out if he didn't want to come with him, but he also came PREPARED for it, mind you, he came PREPARED to take charles with him to genosha. he didn't get to take charles with him 30 years ago, and he was going to be dammed if he didn't take charles with him NOW (this time with no bullet wound and no helmet lol)

and the most insane thing to me is, that he knows charles has a soft spot for him, he's known this for 30 years, and yet, the only time he uses it in his favor is to get charles to say yes to him on this. the only time he uses it is when he thinks he can do something to help charles - to give him back all the kindness charles gave to him 30 years ago. 

anways i'm insane. i'll be back here eating glass if you need me. i'm so normal about them. simon kinberg broke something in me 5 years ago

[night0rchidd]

Grading Hazbin Characters Based on How Well They Lace Your Corset

cw: Slightly Suggestive content!!

//

Charlie: B-. She can kinda do it, but gets so excited thinking about how pretty you look that her hands keep fumbling, leaving you with a corset that’s comfortable, but not evenly laced if you look closely.

Vaggie: B+. More coordinated than Charlie, but she’s confused as to why you’re wearing this. “Babe, you look fine without this. Won’t it inhibit your movements? Are you uncomfortable?” She doesn’t understand why you want to wear something so fancy for a casual day at the hotel.

Angel Dust: A+++. He can do this in his /sleep/, and the fact that he has four arms is clearly helpful. He laces corsets for himself often, and he obviously can’t see the back when doing it, so when he’s lacing yours where he can see? It’s done in less than a minute, and perfectly. Man is an absolute legend. He’ll also give you tips on how to lace it yourself in ways that won’t be as restrictive, in case you’re planning on…/certain activities./

Husk: Solid C. He /can/ do it, but he doesn’t exactly /want/ to, and he doesn’t have a lot of experience. Besides, he’s really cautious about hurting you, so he probably doesn’t tighten it as much as he should, which leaves the top half slightly loose. (He is looking *respectfully*)

Nifty: F. She simply can’t reach it, and if she manages to jump on your shoulders she’ll just start dusting you like you’re an antique couch. (She’s doing her best lmao)

Sir Pentious: D- (but A for Effort, he’s so precious I can’t fail him) He’s trying so hard ok!! But he can’t keep track of where the ribbons go, and he probably just offered to lace /everyone’s/ corset after yours, so he’s now worried that he will have to do this impossible task not only once, but for everyone in the damn hotel.

Lucifer: C-. Much like his daughter, he’s too focused on how pretty you look, coupled with the fact that…well, he’s Lucifer, he makes rubber ducks for a living, I just can’t picture him being good at this. But by GOD, he will compliment you to no end while he gives you his best attempt.

Alastor: A+. THIS MAN IS FROM 1920’S NEW ORLEANS. HE IS CLASSY AS HELL. HE PROBABLY DID THIS FOR MIMZY EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. He’s not as stylistic about it as Angel, but that’s because he likes things more…traditional. And you can bet your ass that he’s going to make you the best Jambalaya on this side of Hell tonight.

[cxffecoupx]

when you get drunk

seventeen × gn reader crack mostly, kinda fluff (somewhere) warnings: mentions of alcohol, being drunk, reader is absolutely wasted, calling reader 'stupid' once wc: 1.1k author's notes: requested; thank you anon!! this was something i made space in the drafts for but never completed lmao. i'm not very proud of this, but i hope you enjoy :)

➼ choi seungcheol

in the unlikely event that he is not drunk (the chances are quite less though), he's just happy that he gets to take care of you. something he hasn't noticed before (because, like previously stated, he's just as drunk), is that you babble a lot more when you're drunk, and you babble utter nonsense. so, he's more than happy to come and pick your drunk self up and take you home, coerce you to drink two or more glasses of water, change your clothes and get you to bed, all the while you're just chattering away about how the random dog you saw on the way is now the ceo of the company that sells hats made of blueberries. seungcheol smiles. obviously you make no sense, but he would willingly stay up to listen to your nonsense.

➼ yoon jeonghan

sneaky lil shit. already has a shit-eating grin when he realises you're home drunk. how you reached there is no concern to him now that you're home and you're absolutely wasted, stumbling over air and hugging the coat hanging nearby thinking it was him. he doubles over in laughter, but not before he runs to get his phone because this is blackmail material. he comes back just in time to see you attempt to kiss the jacket. after he's got all the footage he needs, he gently pulls you to him and drags you upstairs, changes your clothes and makes you drink a glass of water before climbing into bed with you. what hurts more than the headache next morning is having to watch the video he took, and you mentally decide to buy a shovel to dig your grave.

➼ hong jisoo

absolute gentleman. already worried when he gets a call saying you're wasted af. rushes over to where you are, softly talks you into getting into the car and takes you back home. giggles when you become extra touchy with him, but he manages to get you hydrated, changed and ready for bed. hell, he even removes all the makeup thoroughly before getting you into bed. how he does that, you don't know. but you're forever grateful for him.

➼ moon junhui

he'd be so surprised when you stumble into the house with no coherent thoughts. he'd run to you and hold you before you crash into the wall or faceplant yourself onto the floor. he's laughing at your mindless antics and jokes but sits you down with a bottle of water and listens to everything you say, even though it makes zero sense. soon, you fall asleep and he takes you to bed, changes your clothes if it's possible, and gets in bed with you. wakes up early next day to make you his special hangover soup.

➼ kwon soonyoung

you're the one who's drunk, but he's the one who seems like it lmao. he'd be jumping around with you, excitedly talking with you and listening to you talk. you're both literally blabbering over each other. in case there's anyone around you, they'd definitely be eyeing you both. probably end up staying awake till late, talking about all the things under the sun. you both wake up next morning on the couch, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other.

➼ jeon wonwoo

super concerned and super clueless. does not know what to do when you show up tipsy. you just get more energetic when he tries to take care of you, so he has to beg you to cooperate with him right now. does it help though? of course not. gives you some medicine to prevent hangover, makes you drink water, and waits for you to slowly fall asleep on the couch before picking you up and putting you to bed.

➼ lee jihoon

he refrains from drinking, but he sure knows how to take care of your drunk self. silently watches your antics from the corner of the room and smiles thinking how'd he get so attached to the dork that's in front of him right now. when he's sure that you've tired yourself out, he pushes you towards the washroom to wash up, but eventually sighs and helps you when he hears the chaos in there. side-hugs you while you lean onto him as he's taking you to the bed and although he's got a bit more work to wrap up before sleep, he finds it hard to resist your puppy eyes that insists on cuddling.

➼ lee seokmin

becomes so excited seeing you like this. kinda like hoshi; you're the one who's drunk but he's the one who seems like it. asks you all about your evening and what you did and what you drank. takes mental note of trying the brand and type you mentioned as being really good. might even suggest opening a bottle right then and there. needless to say, you fall asleep holding the bottle, and he falls asleep holding you.

➼ kim mingyu

endeared by you. literally melts into a puddle seeing how much of a stupid you become while drunk because to him, you look like the most adorable thing on the earth. cups your cheek and presses a loud smooch on your cheeks because that's how much of a simp he is right now. happily listens to your rants while he's washing you up, dressing you in your pajamas and making you drink water. even after you're both in bed, he's turned to your side, watching your eyes glisten. it's the alcohol, he knows that. but something about you being so out of your mind right now just makes him giggle in love.

➼ xu minghao

lowkey judges you. he knows that you know your alcohol tolerance. he doesnt understand why you would go beyond that. is also done with all the bullshit you pull at him, but he eases a while later and next thing he knows, he's laughing along with you. keeps repeatedly telling you to wash up because you dont listen the first few times. when he returns with hangover medicines and water, he smiles seeing you curled up in the middle of the bed.

➼ boo seungkwan

highkey judges you. literally seats you on the couch and starts nagging about how you cant tolerate alcohol. and then sidles up to you to hear all the gossip you have to spill about the girl gang meeting that you came from. wakes up in the morning after he falls from somewhere; thats when he realises that you both fell asleep on the couch.

➼ chwe hansol

man was sleeping when you returned home. you'll be lucky if he woke up. has got no clue what to do, so just ends up standing there and listening to your yapping.

➼ lee chan

"jeonghan hyung? can you come over? i need help."