#obviously the concept is a bit weird and probably saying some sort of nasty things about transgenderism BUT HEAR ME OUT!!

[fancy-marshmallow]

ok so. As You Like It takes place in france right. and you know what else takes place in France. beauty and the beast at least the disney version. do you see where I'm going with this

[harmoni-me]

Hello! I’m not sure if your requests are still open but, if they are here you go! I wanted to ask if you could write me a request of Nagito Komaeda x a reader who is the ultimate Chess Master? I kinda wanted to imagine him falling in love or already dating his S/O who plays chess as a professional and is more on the kinder side when it comes to him. Good luck! 💖

Ooo! This is such a unique concept, and I absolutely love it! Writing it was an absolute joy! Thank you so much for the amazing request <3

Nagito Komaeda x Ultimate Chess Master Reader!

The ultimate nurse, the ultimate swords-woman, the ultimate photographer…everyone in this class seemed to posses such interesting talents. It made you feel quite jealous, in some sort of way.

Now, of course you never thought of your talent as boring, useless, or unnecessary in the slightest! After all, you were the Ultimate Chess Master. You believed that everyone should try chess at least once before inflicting their nasty opinions on the strategic game. Unfortunately, that was already too late when it came to…basically your entire school life.

In Elementary, you would ask the kids on the playground to play a quick game of speed chess, because you thought it was a fun way to spend time with friends! But all you got in return were child-built insults, saying that chess was stupid and boring. It’s quite ridiculous to admit, but those comments still float around your mind sometimes. Kids were harsh, still are…

In Middle School, you had a few close friends, and when you asked one of them to try playing a game of chess with you, all they did was look at you weirdly, a look that only seemed to scream “uh, are you serious?”. This was when you started to question your liking for chess. Was it that weird? Am I the only one my age that thinks that chess is actually a fun game?

Now, you were sitting in class at Hope’s Peak Academy, a school full of the elite, yet…

This was the first time you felt truly, whole-heartily ashamed about your love for the game of chess.

“Are you kidding me? Chess? You got into this school for an old-people game like CHESS!? Pfft-!” A girl in twin blonde pony tails and an orange kimono let out a shrill of laughter.

“An…old people game….?” You muttered to yourself, steadily becoming a little closed off from the rest of the class.

You’re love for chess was parallel to how you played, which was almost unbeatable on a professional level, yet…

Why were these comments crushing your heart? Why did it make your love for the game waver?

Class continued like normal, just a little lecture to start off the rest of our high school lives. You honestly weren’t paying attention, your focus more attentive to your little chess notebook, filing it with strategies you wanted to try against high-level computer AI.

Though, it would be nice to have even a complete beginner to play with every once and awhile, though, you might be asking for too much.

Thump

Great, more harassment.

You turned around slightly in your seat, and looked down at the ground it see a crumpled piece of notebook paper that had hit you in the back. You picked it up, and looked around to try and figure out a potential culprit, but it seemed as if everyone was acting normal. No dice, then.

Unfolding the messy ball of paper as quietly as possible, you read what seemed to be words written on the inside.

Meet me in the library today after school, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to be seen with trash like me

The wording on the letter was…strange, but that didn’t stop you from feeling a tiny firework of joy in your heart. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel more nervous than joyous due to how the letter was written. It was surely vague, but it really seemed like the writer as quite the low self esteem.

You were suspicious, but honestly, what could go wrong? It had to be someone from the class that you were just introduced to, so at least it’s not like a blind date sort of thing…

The more you thought about it, the more it actually seemed like a blind date. Nice.

Time seemed to move incredibly slow for the whole rest of the school day, but eventually, the bell had rung, and you were out the door in a heartbeat.

After a little while of asking for directions to the school library, you finally reached your desired location: An absolutely humongous cavern of probably any book one could think of.

Only a couple of students were residing in this literal book mansion, and none of which you recognized.

“I guess they’re not here yet…” You mumbled, sitting yourself by a large, lit fireplace. As the warmth from the flames licked your skin, steadily causing you to naturally relax all of the tensed muscles that were stuck to your bones.

You pulled out your phone, and automatically started a game of online chess with a random opponent. The game was done in a mere ten minutes. The other player was no doubt new to the game, but that’s ok, you were there once too.

You suddenly heard a subtle clunk next to you, making your gaze wander to that direction. It was that boy from your class, the lucky boy. You remember him clearly because you thought his hair resembled a fluffy cloud. The two of you made eye contact, his foggy green eyes squinting a bit when he smiled at you, warming your heart a smidge.

“Y/N L/N, correct? I hope you don’t mind my presence, though it’s ok if you do, I would never blame you on something that’s not your fault.” The thin male crouched down to take a seat on the floor with you, sitting cross-legged.

“Yep, that’s me…and I actually kind of appreciate the meeting, honestly. Even if you just came for simple company, I think that’s very nice of you, especially since everyone in the class already thinks my talent is boring and all…Nagito Komaeda, right? I’m happy to meet you.” You shot a warm smile to the boy, causing him to reciprocate.

“You’re too kind to such untalented scum like myself, all I have is the Devil’s luck, after all! I can’t even control any of it! So I’m glad someone like me can be used as a stepping stone for you to be a beacon of hope!” Nagito chuckled, humored by his own self loathing.

You flipped your whole body to face the living incarnate of a four-leaf clover, “Well, um, on a personal note, I don’t think you’re scum. At all. I think your talent is anything but boring…I also think you’re…quite kind, for hanging out with someone like myself.” Fiddling with your uniform sleeves in nervousness. You just want him to feel better about himself.

The boy went quiet, his smile dwindling from your comment. Was he not used to compliments?

After a few moments in silence, Nagito gazed into your eyes, a new type of smile prettily stitched onto his features. It was almost like this expression was more…vulnerable, uncovering itself under layers upon layers of facades. His face almost made you breath out a sigh of relief at how comforting and relieving his genuine expression was.

“I would like to play with you. I-If you would let me, of course.” Nagito gestured his hands downwards to the chess set he had placed onto the ground since the very beginning. And how did you not notice that? It may or may not be the fact that the boy in front of you seemed to be way more intriguing.

You’re eyes widened as sudden happiness started to flow through every vein within your body. The excitement washed over your soul, rejuvenating it’s prior state of melancholy dreariness. Was…he was serious, right?

“Really…?” Was all that you managed to squeak, causing the lucky student to tilt his head in wonder.

“Hm? Well, of course…I don’t really know who else I would be aski-“

“C-Can we please play speed chess!?” You sputtered, the passion and the fireplace flames reflecting off of your eyes to reveal in an enticing glow.

“Speed Chess?” Questioned the frizzy-haired boy, though he did seem quite interested at your sudden burst of energy.

“Yeah! It’s also commonly referred to as Blitz Chess, and it’s like chess, but you have a very short amount of time to make your moves! It’s super duper fun, and if you want even more fun, then we could also play Bullet Chess! It’s even faster, and a game only takes roughly three minutes if you…keep up…the…pace…” Your words started to get quieter and more mumbled. God, you totally forgot the two of you were in a library, how embarrassing….

A hearty laugh spilled out of Nagito’s mouth, the corners of his lips turning upward to the ceiling. You looked down in pathetic nature. That was totally something to laugh at…

“Though I would consider myself a newbie when it come to chess, speed chess sounds lovely.” Nagito smiled, his pointer finger playing and twirling around the queen piece’s crown.

“Ah, a-alright, well, lets get started, shall we?” You stuttered, with joy obviously evident within your voice.

                                       .   .   .

Unsurprising to you, you had won all three games of speed chess against Nagito, though, it was surprising how close each game was. the more you thought about it, the more you realized his luck most likely aids him whenever he plays. Definitely one of the most interesting opponents you’ve been up against, whether it would be for casual online play, or in-person tournaments.

“Ah, bummer, I guess someone as useless as me shouldn’t even try to come close to beating you!” The boy ruffled his cloud-like locks, laughing at his loss.

“Hey! You had me worried for a few turns there, you were no pushover at all, Nagito!” You proclaimed, frustrated on why he would still think that, even thought the game results were all obviously pretty close.

“Also, please don’t say that your useless…it makes me really sad, because it’s not true at all.” You looked up at him with eyes that reflected something that had never burned so brightly before, and Nagito noticed.

Those eyes, previously clouded from the despair given from others, were now shining with a glimmering hope…and he drew that out from you…by simply playing a mere few games of chess.

For a moment, and only for a moment, he believed your words. Maybe he wasn’t so useless, he helped you find your smile and joy, right? Maybe…maybe…

“Oh yeah!” You shot up, causing Nagito to snap out of his thoughtful daze. You stuck your hand out to him, waiting for reciprocation.

“A handshake, to wish a good game among equals.” You encouraged the boy, wanting for him to fully indulge into what it was like to play the game in a professional, yet somewhat casual setting.

The boy looked at your hand, observing everything. Your nails, your fingertips, your knuckles, all the way down to your wrist. Equals, huh…

Nagito then slowly reached out to your hand, grasping onto it gently, yet it felt like it was the most comfortable fit he could’ve imagined. He wanted the warmth from your soft skin to seep into his cold hands, wanting that heat to slowly fill the rest of his frozen body, all the way up to his thawing heart. Though he didn’t linger any more on the handshake than he needed to, not wanting to make it uncomfortable for you.

But god, did he want to hold on forever.

[seyaryminamoto]

What would you have thought if the Kumurikage from the Avatar comics were real, and not a hoax? And that it really was the spirits that kidnapped the kids. And that the kidnappings were the spirits way of “restoring balance to the world” by making the fire nation pay for their crimes. And that Aang(and possibly Azula) must figure out a way to stop the kidnappings and figure out how to applease the spirits.

Well, damn, Anon... you see, I generally just don’t like the overuse of spiritual beings that a lot of post-canon ATLA content has relied on. Spirits, as LOK Book 2 proved, have to be handled in a very thoughtful way and canon doesn’t often do that, at least not in the comics and in LOK. ATLA Books 1 and 2 did it really well because spirits felt utterly unpredictable, from the most inoffensive ones to the most dangerous ones. You absolutely could feel that there was something otherworldly to how they behaved, to how they saw the world... whereas I never had that same feeling when I read Yang’s comics (nor with LOK Book 2). Whether because the spirits had some remarkably simple, even human-like motivations, or because they were easily roped into service of a human just because the plot demanded it (Unalaq... just, Unalaq...), it just felt off, and the Kemurikage might feel off similarly if they’re not handled properly.

I guess the thing is... even just the concept of spirits stealing kids to make the Fire Nation pay for their crimes sounds like they’d be too concerned with human reality? And I’m not sure that’d really suit spirits, at least, not the way I like to see them...

To break down what I mean: Hei Bai gets angry that the forest was burned down, and goes on a rampage that affects humans all around. Hei Bai saw no difference, fundamentally, between the humans who destroyed and the humans who didn’t... until Aang showed him the forest could be regrown. Hei Bai wasn’t attacking the village because he blamed the villagers... he was attacking in retaliation for the forest burning, an emotional, volatile reaction that only stopped when his problem was, more or less, resolved. It was irrational entirely, and highly dangerous because there was no telling just what the spirit was doing or if his actions would do a lot of harm to innocent people.

Secondly, Koh: what does Koh obtain from stealing faces? I mean, sure, he has a collection of faces, but they serve no particular purpose, do they? If he just wants to kill for the thrill of it, he doesn’t need to steal anyone’s face for it. Yet... stealing faces is what he does. That’s his power. It’s cruel, it’s creepy, it’s the subject of horror films, really xD and part of what makes it terrifying is that in the case of Koh, there’s NO REASON, no stated logic to it, he just does it because he has that power and finds amusement in destroying lives the way he does. Koh steals from animals, from humans, from spirits, from whatever he wants... just because he can. It’s not all that different from the reasoning of the Fire Nation, attacking and destroying just because they can: in fact, the Fire Nation has more ideological basis for what they do, more reasons behind which to make excuses for the destruction they’ve waged, than Koh does. Neither, of course, is justified, but Koh is notoriously unnatural because... this is just what Koh IS. A face-stealer. He gives zero shits about hurting anyone, probably even finds amusement in it... this guy is one nasty piece of work, and he’s a spirit. Which tells you... spirits aren’t simply pure and good beings. There’s some like Koh who are DEADLY. That he has no sob story (in the show) only makes him extra daunting and effective.

Thirdly... Wan Shi Tong. This guy is probably the most straightforward of all, and precisely because of that, he’s really interesting and I despise how he was written in LOK :’D but in ATLA, Wan Shi Tong outright says one of the most poignant lines of the show when he tells Team Avatar that they’re not the only ones who think their war is justified. It’s not an excuse of the Fire Nation, obviously not: but it’s criticism of war as a whole, of human violence perpetrated for whatever their reasons may be. Wan Shi Tong doesn’t give a flying fuck about their reasons, Fire Nation or not: he only cares about his library and knowledge. If these people put his library and its contents at risk over a war he must consider pathetic...? He’s not going to take it lying down. Like Hei Bai, who prioritizes his forest, Wan Shi Tong prioritizes his library and acquiring knowledge: anything that threatens his potential acquisition and preservation of knowledge is the ultimate offense against this creature. If humans are going to bring their violence into his library, he’ll be violent right back to protect his knowledge. And he’ll also isolate himself by sinking his library as deep as he wishes because... why wouldn’t he? xD if he wants to keep humans away, there’s no better way to do so than to keep his library to himself.

These three examples show there’s an inhumane simplicity to these spirits: they’re absolutely bound to be violent for their own reasons, when what they prize most is in danger, for instance. There’s also those who are dangerous just because they can, like Koh: then there’s others who are good and helpful to humans, like Tui and La (then you even have La as an example: when Tui is killed, La goes on a rampage against the killer, taking advantage of Aang’s spiritual power to do so, but La absolutely targets the enemy, La doesn’t murder the Water Tribe people willy-nilly), or even the lion-turtles. Basically? You never know what you get with spirits, and that’s the part that was really interesting about them in ATLA. The lion-turtles do feel a little more convenient and helpful because the whole role of the creature was to bestow power upon Aang just because... but there’s a shroud of mystery around it that still works, you know? No one knows where the lion-turtle took Aang, how it entranced him, why it showed up right then and there... it’s still mysterious enough that it works, as far as I can tell.

Meanwhile, LOK simplified matters so much... even featuring Wan Shi Tong somehow striking an alliance with Unalaq and being supportive of Vaatu? Why would he give a flying fuck about Unalaq and Vaatu? Why would he help them kidnap Jinora? What does that have to do with Wan Shi Tong’s long-established priority: knowledge? Instead, they featured him saying that Unalaq “was a good friend to the spirits”. Like... like the spirits are nationalistic or something? Why would it matter one bit to Wan Shi Tong if Unalaq wants Vaatu’s kite? :’D and that’s exactly what I’m referring to when I say that I dislike spirits serving human purposes: it steals from the otherworldly, starkly non-human behavior of these entities, and renders them as simple plot devices rather than actual characters.

As for Yang... I hate the Mother of Faces. Her design is interesting, but not only is she profoundly inconsistent, she destroyed part of what made Koh so intriguing by establishing a completely confusing concept of spirit motherhood and by playing it as though Koh steals faces “to feel closer to his mommy”. Why... why would you do this. Why would anyone feel the need to do this. Why would they need any connection in the first place. Why would that connection have anything to do with the Mother of Faces turning into a lamp genie and handing out wishes left and right, when she had already established she only granted ONE WISH per human encounter... *siiiiiiiiiigh* it feels so wrong to me, and it again makes spirits so unnecessarily human. Why. Just... why.

Thus, I wouldn’t want the Kemurikage to be real if they would only turn out... like that. Stealing Fire Nation children in some sort of vindictive spree to punish the Fire Nation when the war is FINALLY over...? It sounds a little weird. With the storyline established by the comic itself (though I’d honestly never hold that too close to heart, I really disliked that so-called origin of the Fire Nation...), these spirits came to be because a warlord stole all their children and they were taking revenge for that. That, at least, still sounds in-line with the logic that spirits have a specific purpose in mind, right? So... if no one’s stealing children, they probably shouldn’t show up to steal them themselves spontaneously. If they were concerned with the war and the Fire Nation’s lack of balance, they could’ve punished the Fire Nation back when Sozin was in power since that’s when it all began. Why punish it when Zuko shows up and ends the war?

In the end... I’d say if there’s no clear means to keep the spirits in question as otherworldly and non-human as possible, I don’t want stories with spirits. I think, for a story where spirits force Aang to work with Azula somehow to protect the Fire Nation, we’d need a wholly different concept, and not the Kemurikage. Just to use a quick and REALLY SOLID example from Inuyasha... there’s a spirit there from a one-time episode that plays a flute to guide the souls of dead children whether to heaven or hell. Its eyes are closed when everything’s going well, but if a child resists, the eyes start to open and if they open fully... it means the kid’s going to hell. Dark, ey? It’s a single episode and yet it nearly made me cry xD but the point of the comparison is... this spirit has a duty, of a sort. It’s not “stealing” children, it’s herding them off to the next life. What happens in the episode is that one particular soul of a very bitter and frustrated little girl refuses to heed the soul piper’s call because she’s taking “revenge” on her brother, whom she blames for her death (along with her mother): the girl’s defiance results in the spirit nearly dragging her to hell, and the protagonist has to do everything she can to rescue the girl’s spirit and in the end, the girl’s realization that she’d misunderstood her mother and brother, who of course never wanted her dead, makes her change her mind about them and the spirit gives her a second chance when it senses she’s changed indeed. There’s no morality to the duty of the piper, not really: if the child’s a rotten apple, it goes to hell. Unless the child proves NOT to be a rotten apple, as the girl did last minute, there’s no changing the spirit’s mind. If the child’s a good kid, the spirit will just herd the child off and nothing bad happens.

How to apply a story like this to ATLA? Well, it’s obviously hard to say xD but my point is... if any other spirits would show up in future stories, if there’s going to be any more of them doing... anything? It should be along the likes of Books 1 and 2, or like this soul piper. A spirit with its own concerns, with its own duties, who either coexists with humans peacefully or exists completely apart from them until whatever they care about is threatened... but not a spirit that goes on a furious rampage against humans because the crush who friendzoned him died and he assumes humans killed her. Not a spirit who has an established behavior that she then sets aside immediatley just because. Not a spirit that has some sort of random stake on the state of the human world when that’s not their dwelling and they probably see little to no difference between warring nations. Hence... the Kemurikage as a concept probably would be best off left, in my opinion, as a matter of lore rather than anything that should be making a comeback in Zuko’s era. If some other spiritual entity causes trouble in the future, I’d rather it were written with a different set of beliefs and understanding of the world rather than making them excessively human... the way all of Yang’s spirits were. Just... defeats the purpose of making them spirits if they’re essentialy humans with fancy weird powers beyond bending.

... At any rate, I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with taking this storytelling route... just that I, personally, don’t find the Kemurikage all that interesting as a concept, not as the spirits they’re supposed to be, not as villainous entities. If you, personally, want to write this, you’re 100% free to do so and to explore these sorts of storylines. Just... it’s not my cup of tea, and I doubt it ever will be.

[glare0322]

h.i.v.e. head canons

just some character and relationship/friendship head canons :)

laura

- plays the piano and quite well. she doesn’t want to play much at h.i.v.e. because it reminds her of scotland and her family. after book eight, she plays a lot more frequently cause she really sees h.i.v.e. and the people there as her home.

- is not organized in anything but school and files on her computer. her brain runs a million miles an hour which leads to things getting messy fast.

- becomes a lot closer with raven after the greenhouse since they now have a bit of shared trauma especially in the fact anastasia favored to torture both of them.

- still sucks at driving even after h.i.v.e.

- after h.i.v.e. laura goes and lives with her family for a month back in scotland. they talk about h.i.v.e., shelby and her other friends, whats been happening here, and other general catching up topics. mary (mrs. brand) takes a special interest in meeting otto and laura reminds her mom every day not to make a big deal about it. yet she still counts down the days until she gets to meet her daughter’s boyfriend.

otto

- gets very frustrated when he can’t grasp certain concepts or master specific skills. he is known as the boy genius after all.

- went through an edgy phase while at h.i.v.e. not emo, but he would throw in more hurtful quips towards shelby during their usually playful spits and his jokes were just a little too dark. otto got a lot more detentions during this time and even the thought of trying to escape again reoccurred in his mind. he eventually noticed how wing was not a fan of it and slammed the breaks. of course everyone still makes fun of him for it.

- if you don’t think otto wouldn’t cry at the sight of his newborn child/ren then um...you’re wrong

- he looks back on his little prime minister scheme with pride and cringes terribly at it. on one hand, it was his beginnings and the device he made not only worked but was something like no other. and then he remembers how he made the prime minister moon everyone. when he was younger it was hilarious, now that he’s a tad older otto hates the fact he did that. there is just something immature and lacking taste about the whole thing.

- lives in sweaters/jumpers. i know this one is random, but something about them just suits otto.

wing

- has a gentle singing voice. he only sings lullabies to his kids and if one of his friends needs it. besides that wing does not sing often. it’s always a treat when he does.

- wing is really scared to be a dad. the thought of being like his father is incredibly scary to him.

- i really can not see wing becoming a villain but an antihero, now that i can definitely see. his methods are immoral in the sense he is still technically a murder, but he only goes after truly evil corporations. like human trafficking kind of evil.

- he teaches his kid/s self-defense and martial arts.

- trilingual and speaks english, japanese, and mandarin. the first two are canon to the story but i feel like his parents probably would have taught him at least some mandarin.

shelby

- shelby hated how laura would stay up for hours in the night tapping away on her computer. however when she moved out, it seemed weird not to fall asleep to the sound of a typing keyboard.

- if there is a h.i.v.e. gymnastics team/program (since there is a water polo team) shelby would totally do it. she waves to her friends before her round and even sometimes blows a kiss to her supportive boyfriend who is always there to see her.

- after h.i.v.e. she pursues gymnastics professionally. it provides the same wealth she was used to back with her parents, she likes to do it, but most importantly it’s an amazing cover up for why she’s traveling so many places around the world. (to steal of course) it also funds these trips and gives her, and wing for that matter, a great public image. plus she likes the spotlight a bit.

- i’ve said this before but shelby eventually gets lessons from raven. i just love this idea with my whole heart especially because how different these two are.

- had a bit of affluenza before h.i.v.e. which played into her desire for stealing diamonds along with her crappy parents. (my theory on shelb’s parents is right here)

laura and otto

- otto adores laura’s piano playing. there is something peaceful about it to him which he finds really comforting.

- they go to university together in scotland and help each other get through it. the two live in an apartment together go to school then see each other after classes at home.

- laura has some zero ptsd and it occasionally effects her relationship with otto in the sense she gets flashbacks and is genuinely scared. otto completely understands this though and is super patient with her. obviously it bothers him since he’s not zero, but he understands why she’s experiencing this and loves her enough to put his annoyance aside for her.

- these two wanted their kids’ names to be after someone. so if they would ever have a daughter her name would be lucy and the middle name of their son would be wing. laura wanted to include shelby but it just didn’t fit anywhere.

- if otto can’t find a shirt, then laura is wearing it. she wears his clothes super frequently and he won’t complain. she looks cute :,)

laura and shelby

- shelby likes things to look pretty, so she ends up being the one that keeps their room tidy, makes the beds, and other cleanly stuff like that. especially when they live together outside of h.i.v.e. she does the dishes pretty often, keeps their room looking nice, and stocks their fridge. laura is messy, but it doesn’t effect her much cause shelbs takes care of it. she doesn’t mind and only teases laura when people are over to embarrass her (all in good fun).

- laura doesn’t like girly things (we been knew). shelby tried for a while to get her into these things and a few stick on: nail polish, very light make up, and shopping. but never and i mean never would shelby make laura do something she didn’t want to. of course laura introduces shelby to her more geeky/nerdy stuff. they watch superhero shows together, shelbs has a black widow t-shirt in her closet now, and even some basic hacking codes.

- laura didn’t like shelby at first not only because of her nasty personality, but because she was a lot like the girls who would talk about laura behind her back.

- basically canon, but shelby was the number one ottra shipper. she had been rooting for them since day one of h.i.v.e. laura comes to her for advice with otto and shelby consoles her when lucy and otto get together. they both were disappointed the two didn’t get together.

- laura is really good at baking and shelby asks her once to help her bake something for wing. (she was really trying y’all) long story short, even laura couldn’t help shelby’s terrible baking skills and they set off the fire alarms in their apartment along with the sprinklers.

wing and otto

- otto wanted to do one of wing’s workouts despite his best friends many warnings it would be rough. it was safe to say otto underestimated the intensity of the workout.

- oh god the scene where these two will eventually leave each other to go move on past h.i.v.e. is just absolutely gut wrenching. they both acknowledge how the other had such an influence on their lives and hope to see them prosper in life. honestly this is like a rare moment where i can see wing legitimately crying.

- so we all know how wing has half the overlord protocol necklace (he has yang) if shelby doesn’t get the yin half then otto should because he kinda fits the yin meaning and is best bros with wing.

- for wing’s “bachelor party” they honestly just get all the guys from h.i.v.e. together and hang out for a couple hours. after, however, he and otto go out and go have some fun doing morally gray criminal activity.

- they still sometimes speak in japanese to each other on missions and stuff or if they need to plan something without anyone else knowing.

shelby and wing

- they move permanently to america, but visit china and japan quite frequently.

- one of the first things shelby does after she and wing get out of h.i.v.e. is watch a bunch of disney movies and american movie classics so he can understand the pop culture references she has been making for the past five years.

- i totally think shelby gets the other half over otto, or at least a replica. there’s kinda set up for this as well, the other half (yin) is known as the feminine half.

- if they would ever have a daughter her name would be mei or raven.

- she always knows exactly what to get him as a gift or even just in general. she’s observant and can pick up on what he needs before he does. wing has mentioned before shelby is a little...less predictable but he tries his hardest and oh my goodness does shelby appreciate his efforts. of course it irritates her, but she knows her slightly emotionally-unavailable boyfriend is trying an insane amount to sort through her emotions right.

shelby and otto

- they totally bond over how wing is great, but have an urge to smother him in his sleep because of the obnoxiously loud snoring

- menaces to the public when these two are together. i couldn’t even begin to tell you all the crafty things that would conspire between these two. pranking teachers, seeing who can steal the answers first, racing in stealth or in fitness classes. (wing beats both of them in combat/fitness so their efforts are often pointless)

- when they first came to h.i.v.e. shelby was taller than otto, by quite a margin too. she teased him into another galaxy about it. so when the day came that otto was officially taller than her, she mourned the countless jokes that could no longer be made.

- asks a lot of those “wait who logically thought to make butter?” questions. they also argue whether these people were geniuses or a new level of stupid. (seriously who thought to mix together milk until it gets to a solid consistency and then eat it?)

- they have to live together for one month after h.i.v.e. in the beginning, they like wanted to choke each other, but by the end of the month they were upset to not live with each other any more. (fic is dropping soon 🙈)

wing and laura

- after the greenhouse incident, laura went to wing asking him to teach her some martial arts since she felt really weak physically while in there. he doesn’t initially think it’s the best idea, but laura convinces him it will be okay.

- they’re a lot better friends then people would initially think. she hugged him like twice in the first book alone and is grateful for him saving her life. laura and wing seem like the two that just relax with each other. no shenanigans, no combat, honestly just vibing. they drink tea and watch murder mystery shows while catching up on the latest things and theorizing about the show.

- the entire gang goes to tokyo all together at one point in their life. laura and wing go to all the historical places in the city and chat about them for hours.

- they go on hikes together. that’s it. i’m right and you know it.

- i always imagined at least once wing decided to try and take the high road instead of cheating by asking laura to tutor him. it worked pretty well for him and now whenever he needs help with work, he just goes to laura and they work through it together.

[terrebus-fc]

how do all y'all recommend getting into football for a newcomer? just pick a team and start watching them? or like watch previous tournaments or something?

first of all, welcome to football :3

there’s some similarities to the terror so i think you might find it quite familiar:

get ready for some rambling below the cut!

i think it’s easiest to start by watching a bigger international tournament while it’s happening. the world cup, obviously, is the biggest event in football, but other tournaments like the european championships or the copa américa (or whatever is going on where you’re from) also work well and are happening sooner (in 2020). follow the country you’re from if they qualified or pick any other country you like, really, and… just watch.

the advantage of those tournaments are that you’ll usually get to see a good mix of teams that are actually playing to win, that it all happens within the span of a month and that there will be extensive media coverage of the matches, part of it tailored to new viewers. don’t worry too much about the details of all the rules, you’ll get into the important ones quite quickly after watching some matches. part of being a football fan also is angrily disagreeing with the rules so not much knowledge is required. the emotions are the important thing. when the tournament is over you can follow the players you got to know during it back to their clubs and slip nicely into watching club football and selling your soul to the beautiful game.

of course you can also start with club football and randomly see what sticks. football is all about irrational attachments so… whatever works. (if you’re looking for club matches, this is a good site to find a stream!)

we agreed on our discord to each recommend a past match and an upcoming one to watch. i’ve thought about it for a bit and always kept coming back to the same match that’s a classic one and though it’s cliché i’m biased enough not to care. so. world cup 2014 semifinal between germany and brazil. i promise you the pay-off is very good (unless you support brazil).

for an upcoming match there’s a women’s football match between england and germany happening on 9th november. i know we’re all here for guys being lads but if you feel like it, check out the women playing, too.

- frauke

past match: my past match recommendation is Germany vs England, World Cup 2010, Round of 16. I think it’s a beautiful example of football at its best (Germany’s incredibly fluid style of play, feat. one of my favorite goals of all time) and worst (a referee completely failing to call a goal: a farcically monstrous error on the world stage). I love this game because despite everyone’s tactics, despite everyone’s efforts, the entire game arguably hinges on one incredibly stupid, incredibly human mistake, and what comes after. In a way it is a little bit like the Franklin expedition! And even nine years later the thought of what could have been evokes hilarity in some (three fifths of this mod team) and despair in others (one fifth of this mod team). That’s football babey! [WATCH IT HERE]

upcoming match: I’m gonna recommend a club match for this one! I’m a fan of German football and the Berlin derby (Union Berlin vs Hertha Berlin) is coming up this Saturday (Nov 2) at 5:30PM GMT! This is the first time these teams will be playing each other in the top league of German football, and it’s likely to be a good example of what rivalries in club football can be like. Union Berlin has a great underdog story–this is their first year ever in the Bundesliga–and it should be a lot of fun all around! Also, one week later, on Nov 9 at 4:30PM GMT, Borussia Dortmund take on perennial juggernauts Bayern Munich. Over the last decade or so Dortmund’s fast-paced, attacking football has been the only real challenge to Bayern’s throne, and with Bayern (my team, for better or worse) not playing nearly as well as they should this season, this could shape up to be an exciting match!

-ireny

past match: so i heard you like this very english show about these very english boys? you also like to suffer? FANTASTIC! croatia vs. england, the world cup 2018 semifinals, is the only match that matters on the planet and you should watch it immediately. underdog narratives on both sides! nobody expected either team to make it as far as they did – england because they’ve got a long history of disappointing in national tournaments, croatia because they’re considered a small country in football terms and because they hadn’t gotten past the group stages since 1998. england scored early, croatia equalized in the second half to drag them to extra time – their third game in a row that went to 120+ minutes – and despite how ragged and exhausted the team was, my #1 player of all time ever mario mandžukić scored the winning goal that got croatia through to their first ever world cup final. it was a truly transcendent moment. no matter whose side you’re on (i mean, there is only one right side, but who am i to judge) it’s a thrilling, scrappy game to watch. i want you to watch it so badly, i have a link for you.

upcoming match: outside of frothing at the mouth about my national team, i watch the italian league religiously. if you’d like to try out club football, this weekend has a couple high profile games in italy. on saturday (nov. 2) at 7:00 AM PT, you can watch roma vs. napoli, which are two teams that are considered hipster to like despite the fact that they’re actually massive. napoli are, regrettably, usually very good, but have had a poor start to their season, so they’ll be looking to dominate on-fire roma. it should be a shitshow, i can’t wait! meanwhile, at 12:45 PM PT you can watch the derby della mole, torino vs. juventus. juve is the most successful team in serie a, and torino are their cross-town rivals who are EXTREMELY lovable but also Not Very Good At Football. watch it and root for torino and have your heart broken (and then come talk to me about either team/any players you like because i can prime you equally on both!) (not ronaldo.)

- caitlin

past match: W O W do the attacks against england just keep coming and coming huh just like Tuunbaq huh!!!! Aside from that, the perennial sense of crisis, setback after setback, English people suffering, madness and disappointment, and betrayal of everything you hold dear are also some of the ways in which England resembles The Terror and therefore why you should also watch us. 

In the spirit of England, I’m going to recommend a match in which we lose: England 1-1 West Germany, 4-3 on penalties, at the 1990 World Cup. We lose to Germany a lot. (Pls hold: 1966, babey.) But 1990 was the first time that we reached the semi-finals since ‘66, and it was crazily emotionally charged; our coach Bobby Robson was leaving amidst a scandal, there’d been fights between the police and fans, and of course there was a palpable sense of christ, we could actually do it. (I say ‘we’ as in the way football fans say ‘we’, since in 1990 I was -5 years old.) The game is rip-roaring, furious, dramatic - look for Gazza’s Tears - and also introduces you to the concept of extra time, aka sitting in your seats for a full half-hour more than you expected, and penalties, aka something we are so famously bad at that when we finally won a penalty shootout last year we celebrated as if we had won the cup itself.

upcoming match: The Engl attacks made me defend myself and I couldn’t recommend a club game, which I would otherwise have (United 2-1 Arsenal ‘99, for those interested) because my club’s current football is SO DIRE I would not recommend it to anyone unless I wanted to turn them off of football forever. You might want to tune in next week for Liverpool Vs Man City (4:30 PM GMT, 10 Nov), a giant clash with probably entertaining football for everyone except United fans, who will desperately be cheering on Team Sinkhole.

- rach

I have something to add, which is that football has a weird and wild history, and I recommend looking up something like ‘the 10 most inexplicable moments in football’, or ‘five of the most unhinged things the most unhinged managers have ever said’ to get a taste. The sport is about enjoying the actual movement of the ball across the grass, but it’s also about basking in the massive array of bizarre personalities.

past match: a lot of good bases have already been covered re: Germany so I won’t pile on by recommending our 4-0 battering of Argentina in 2010 :3c I present to you instead the FA Cup final from 2014, Arsenal-Hull City. (Have a link!) Arsenal hadn’t won a trophy in nine years. The fan discontent with iconic manager Arsene Wenger was getting nasty. Hull City was the decided underdog. An underdog who promptly scored twice in the first ten minutes. Through a mix of lovely skill and scrappy luck the match ended happily for Arsenal, and even knowing that the Wenger story wasn’t entirely on the up and up after breaking that long drought, seeing the sheer joy and relief on everyone’ faces still makes me feel a whole lot of things.

upcoming match: that aside, Arsenal are currently playing as though they’ve got lost in a damp paper bag and have yet to soggily wander their way out. Despite that I’m going to recommend Leicester-Arsenal next weekend (9 Nov, 18.30 CET). Leicester have been absolutely swanning about (they annihilated Southampton last week 0-9 in the joint-largest prem league scoreline ever) and Arsenal at the moment, with their negative confidence and cotton wool defence are precisely in position to be smashed. But we’ve also done historically quite well against Leicester, and it could be the sort of match where Arsenal get their heads up and deliver the kind of easy-passing, smooth-running performance they’re supposed to be known for. It has great potential to be either a misery or a cheer-up charm for me, and regardless it’ll be a good time for you.

- Sabina

[necropsittacus]

ok this could have been a fun essay if i had actually ever finished it or gone in depth with any of it or really Made it an essay rather than an opinion piece. 

but it’s so old that that’s unlikely to happen at this point, and i did mean to post it eventually, so here it is, under a cut. it’s just sith triumvirate feelings.

i really enjoy the sort of ?not villain decay, i think that’s a different thing, but something in the same like, order of concepts? we get with sion after nihilus is introduced

like, sion is introduced with essentially a survival horror scenario where no one knows what the fuck is going on, as “a perversion of the dark side” more than e.g. malak ever was, “if that’s the new dark lord we should all be scared” kind of deal?

he’s got his own brand of horror, and remains genuinely very threatening in his own right even to the very end, but there’s pretty much always an option to try to talk him down or argue, in a way that there really isn’t with nihilus--he’s fucked up and threatening, yeah, very much not a Nice Person or probably remotely sympathetic to normal people, and also can be argued to fall into the “lovecraftian abomination sith lord” category himself (there’s a good post about that i don’t have the energy to go looking for right now). but relative to darth nihilus, and the amount of cosmic horror shit going on THERE, he’s still fundamentally just a guy with yeah some fucked up supernatural shit going on, but still fairly comprehensible human motivations. say what you will about the morality of things like “revenge” and “trying to prove yourself via murder” or his issues about traya, none of those are wildly outside what most people could plausibly come up with, it’s more about the methods and the supernatural shit being thrown in (i would say that how i interpreted his ideas about the force and his own existence is weird and, yeah, probably outside the realm of what most people would come up with, but it makes sense to me from a mental illness perspective, so, again, not inhuman by any means) 

but nihilus? even visas’s take on nihilus (and i think there’s probably some argument to be had about whether that description is actually reflective of any kind of ideology on his part or if she’s reading what he showed her like that in an attempt to make some kind of sense of it and his Actual motivations are really no more than hunger), that sort of “the world is so ugly and chaotic it should be destroyed, and i am doing a good thing by wiping everything out completely” what i call omnicidal depression occasionally, is NOT within the purview of normal human motivation. in my experience even most of the people irl who talk about wanting the end of the world, if they really mean that, just mean because of humanity or have some misguided ideas equating capitalism to human nature. visas’s description of what was up with nihilus didn’t sound like that, it sounded like the issue was life itself. that’s already getting into “lovecraftian abomination” rather than “nasty human villain” territory, and the fact that he actually has the power to go through with it...

like, of course the sith are scary already, even with only the Standard Set of Force Powers, they’re supposed to be a real threat, and sion’s got his own weird creepy shit, but adding that kind of eldritch abomination factor just raises the stakes so much that by comparison the guy who’s literally too angry to die, whose main motivation is the destruction of the entire jedi order at all costs, who doesn’t care about power or glory or not getting hurt, only about Death and Carnage and Revenge, seems perfectly reasonable to like, argue with, even try to talk to your side 

and the deleted scene where they fight, if it can be called that, reinforces that difference in power level/stakes even more--that even sion who wants to fight Everyone most of the time, and generally believes himself capable of it, doesn’t really want to start shit with nihilus unnecessarily, that even with all the drama and “jesus christ what the fuck how are you not dead” around him nihilus is a lot stronger, enough to not even bother with a lightsaber

and then also the fact that sion has multiple lines that are either obviously referential to vader or just identical to vader lines? i don’t think that’s a coincidence (would be difficult) or purely to point out that this is Star Wars Media™. star wars does have a Tendency to reuse lines, but i think there generally is some actual significance to which ones get copied where

like, that’s got to be deliberate, making him into some sort of parallel to vader--the terrifying Openly Sith face of the empire, but who eventually was redeemed, who chose his son in the end--and of course sion doesn’t get a redemption arc per se, and i’m honestly glad for it, but weren’t there a couple throwaway dialogue options where you could have the exile Want to go in that direction or something? i need to replay this

and even without that--i think even the comparison sets him up as more i guess human? i can’t words this right sorry, in contrast to nihilus, who is utterly beyond comprehension, beyond being reasoned with, for whom even the faintest suggestion of redemption would be impossible, even absurd--the tragic side of what the dark side can do to people, as much as the fear

where nihilus has no OT parallel imagery, he’s just his own thing 

there really isn’t any point to this, no thesis or argument or anything, it’s just a feeling i had more than a year ago cleaned up a little bit

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 09/28 NXT 09/30 NXT UK 10/01 Smackdown 10/02 Takeover 31 10/04

Raw:

*bell rings*, *Asuka runs straight at her opponent*, *gets punched once by some weak ass looking shot*, *collapses uselessly* PPPFFFFTTTTTTTT

I hate that elbow kick off thing Zelina does. Becky used to have a hold like that in nxt. Hated it then, too. Awful.

That hurricanrana where Zelina fell on her ass, though. Wow. Okay.

Is it just me that thought the modified grounded octopus took awhile to cinch in? That was in for so long lol.

Why are women barely jumping for these german suplexes lately?

Omg that one-armed suplex by Asuka was great.

That kickout by Asuka was incredibly well done. What a perfect stretch with perfect timing. Zelina even tucked the left arm. Points.

Oh nice didn’t know Zelina could do a moonsault. And right onto the knees so the Asuka lock can be set in. Nice. Good ending.

That was better than their Clash match, and Zelina showcased different things, even if I wasn’t a fan of some of it.

Ah the debut of Mandy and Dana as a tag team.

I really like Lana and Nattie together.

Oh wow decisions that make sense and are building toward something. What alternate universe have I stepped into? Please bring back GMs and stop being so lazy, please.

I really don’t understand why they moved these women like weeks before the draft.

Alright let’s swap momentum... it’s time Dana gets some comeback before tagging Mandy.

That full 180 flip Mandy did to Lana was really cool. Not sure if Lana was meant to land on her left knee or flat, but I think it was supposed to injure her left knee. Beautiful.

Points to Lana for the kickout, negative points to Nattie for jumping in after the three.

I wish Dana had hit a bigger move against Natalya at the end.

The pump knee strike by Mandy was a little messy, I would’ve ended it with her other finisher instead. Good match though. Glad to see Dana and Mandy pick up some sort of momentum, especially on their Raw debut.

Also good for Lana not having to go through the table for a week *applause*

Mandy is fine on the mic. It’s not awful, it’s not super compelling; totally serviceable. Dana though... always comes off like she’s acting rehearsed lines or reading off a script.

Nice transition into the next segment. Quarter point.

Whether I like the Bianca video packages or not, it’s always a pleasure to hear her song.

LOVED the incorporation of the hurdles. That’s what I want to see, that shows me an actual challenge. I have no doubt in her strength or speed; I in fact do believe she’s the strongest and the fastest. They just aren’t showcasing that right lol. Give me something more convincing. Girl was jumping over fucking hurdles, that’s convincing.

Highlight: Dana & Mandy vs Lana & Nattie

---

NXT:

Shotzi has too long of an entrance imo.

Dakota Kai is such a spoiled little shit lmao. She’s so annoying. Big fan.

Really didn’t like Shotzi trying to do her ballpit line so early. I really wish she didn’t take so long to set it up as well.

Wow I hate that submission move Shotzi, I’m sorry. Dakota sells it like death though, so she gets a point.

Dakota’s style is way too fast for her to play a slow, methodical heel in the ring. 

A one count lmao ballsy. Love Dakota’s reaction too.

Such a fan of Dakota’s selling.

Chicken wing german suplex into a pin? That was beautiful Shotzi, I agree. Great near fall. 

A common complaint I have with women - even on the main roster - is how they go to do like a spear halfway through the ropes just to set up some counter to their move (kick, a pump kick, the rope hangup Bayley does, Charlotte shooting through the middle to roll you up) and that’s fine, but it’s always easily telegraphed. Step up please @ everyone.

oof that landing by Dakota; hit her face right on Shotzi’s knee.

What does Dakota call that kick, Scorpion or something? On the apron? Awesome stuff.

Holy shit that... flipping backdrop - (?) I don’t even know what to call that - on the apron was amazing, but holy shit Shotzi that landing was terrible. The concept is there but man you might wanna practice/modify that one a bit more.

Cool Rhea came down to fuck with Raquel, distracting Dakota, but the rollup was weak. Also weak that Rhea merely pushed Raquel into the steps once before walking back. Good match though.

Stalemate after a bunch of pin attempts with zero offense. Could live without these spots tbh.

Very close range kick, could’ve been set up far better.

Li rolls out of the ring, heel 101.

Kacy you can’t just yell at Kayden to get up lmao plz.

This is the first time I’ve seen any personality from Xia Li.

Ballsy one counts, what’s with the one counts tonight lmao.

Kacy is a bad cheerleader, just getting that out there.

I love that roll through + side kick combo Kayden does.

Whoa idk how Kayden pulled that win out of her ass, but good for her. I can see this is pushing Xia deeper into frustration every loss. Won’t complain about it, love to see Kayden win. Good, short match. A rollup works here.

Highlight: Dakota vs Shotzi

---

NXT UK:

I love Xia Brookside’s music, but not with her or her entrance.

Now Jinny’s entrance/wardrobe/demeanor matches her music.

Sure Xia Brookside’s rolls were quick, but I’m not understanding why she rolled sideways lmao it’s like Link in Zelda.

If you’re not going to add an actual crowd or monitors, get rid of the hairdryer fans. If I can’t see them, and more importantly they don’t exist, then I don’t want to hear them.

Too many wrist locks. Also refs getting involved for no logical reason, just so the heel can take advantage, is annoying. 

That back drop onto Jinny’s knee was ugly, hated the collapse. Took the impact out of it for me.

Nasty Irish Whip, points to both.

Nice flip off the hurricanrana.

Botched monkey flip. Perhaps Jinny didn’t think there was enough room for her to comfortably land; had she went for it and tucked her legs she definitely would’ve been fine. Feel like that was an amateur mistake, plenty of women would’ve just sold it with their legs getting caught up.

That was weird. Xia Brookside goes through all that trouble just to make sure she hit the monkey flip, just to lift Jinny’s head so Jinny could punch her. Weak.

Kick out was sloppy.

Xia Brookside is gassed and isn’t even doing any offense. Or selling. This match is odd. This would get booed on the MR.

Jinny stops to talk too much while wrestling. Obviously stalling. The dialogue isn’t even good for all of that noise.

Whatever. A match I could’ve lived without.

Lmao bow down? Queen of NXT UK?? Girl.... uh uh. Nah nah nah Go sit down.

Highlight: There was an Irish Whip into the corner that looked impactful

---

Smackdown:

Alexa’s pyro was better timed than last week, but it could use improvement. This is important to me damn it.

You know Alexa, my spine feels cold and my body goes numb every time I smoke my weed. Has anyone asked this girl if she’s on drugs? Could just be drugs.

Kevin/wwe, I don’t need you to tell me she’s brainwashed. WE CAN SEE that she’s brainwashed. This has been escalating for like... 2 months lmao.

The hairdryer crowd being piped in kinda ruins this. This is set up like a scene from a horror movie and the noise is taking away from it. A live crowd probably would’ve stayed silent for her, you could’ve lessened the mass effect.

Love how she just sits there watching Kevin pace around. That’s good. She’s good. Love how Kevin knew she was calling to the Fiend with that line. That’s good. This is good.

She sits there poised and unafraid, yet intrigued with him. Like his queen.

The power of this angle and the fate of it succeeding lies solely on Alexa and her selling of it. If she doesn’t sell this or believe in it, or fucks up once, it shatters the entire mystique. Man I’m a huge fan of this story rn.

Glad I didn’t bother guessing who this mysterious woman was. The glitz and glamour has got nothing compared to the moonwalking, trashtalking, Princess of Staten Island.

Love the rainbow on the polaroid camera though.

Decent enough promo but that music was awkward.

Why did y’all make Sasha just stand out there shifting her feet staring at the hard cam lol.

This is all solid Sasha but like Bayley already admitted all of this lmao.

Yes, we know you saved her title like 15 times, we ALL agree with you.

I actually like the emotion written all over Sasha’s face that comes across as ALMOST awkward.

What I don’t like about this feud: Sasha’s still an asshole, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to buy her as a babyface in like 3 weeks. She has the sympathy vote in a meta sense, sure, and I’ve been saying I want her to run SD on her own since November 2019, but that doesn’t mean she’s automatically a babyface within kf. Also annoying that they haven’t had a brawl that ends on equal footing, via interruption by officials or something. Also not sure how much I buy the character of Bayley being “too scared” to come to SD. If I could’ve gotten a quick interview by her, even if it’s her leaving the arena just as she finds out Sasha has arrived, that would’ve tied this together better.

Why she still staring at the hard cam lmao. Walk away. Leave. Make your exit. Alright whatever.

Highlight: Alexa becoming the Fiend’s queen

---

Takeover 31:

Man true, I forget Io has beat both Charlotte and Sasha this year. What a big year for her.

Love how this entire “arena” is set up, but my covid-paranoia does not approve.

Lol that one single guy trying to start a chant, goodbye.

BEAUTIFUL corrected monkey flip by Io

The attempt at the springboard by Candice was there. Could’ve been cleaner.

Good transition having Candice counter Io into a backstabber in the corner, cuz that offense was taking way too long to set up.

Commentator attributed Candice being slow in the beginning because she’s sad Johnny lost. Tired of the Garganos being tied to each other.

Why is every female heel on every brand dragging people’s eyes/face across the ropes all of the sudden?

It was not a nice move, she needs to stop doing her poor woman’s version of Natural Selection. Done.

Y’all are losing me, give Io some momentum plz.

Every single heel wants to go slow and methodical. Ridiculous. Where’s Sasha.

This was not paced well, ESPECIALLY compared to their first match. Their first didn’t breathe enough and was a sprint with not enough selling, but it was still really good. This is paced on the complete opposite spectrum. And not good.

Io has the best dropkick in the division, especially when you consider how safe her landing is for her own body’s longevity.

Totally no sold that powerbomb, Io. That’s a yikes.

Lmao Io kicked out of Candice’s springboard moonsault. Haha.

Got a meteora, 2 backstabbers, and a crossface... again, where’s Sasha???

Lmfao 2 ref bumps and a fake referee. GOD I HATE HOW WOMEN’S MATCHES ARE BOOKED THIS YEAR. The first bump didn’t even look legit.

Io took a title shot to the face yet kicked out, and y’all out here calling Becky “Cena” for kicking out of a chair shot to the midsection? Annoying.

I’m now convinced Charlotte has the best Spanish fly in the entire women’s division.

Rich having Toni do a promo directly aimed at Io, considering Toni beat her to win the MYC. Also rich how unbothered Io seemed lmao.

Ahhh the nxt women’s champion that should’ve won her title by defeating Asuka. We remember her well. Injured herself chasing the 24/7 title back when they were running the Becky/Charlotte vs Sasha/Bayley feud. Good times.

Highlight: Io’s theme song

---

*NXT shined the brightest out of all the other shows, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give major props to specifically Alexa Bliss.

[chocolatemillkk]

Kid Brother II

Part Two of Part One

I'm trying to build a 4 or 5 part fic so bear with me! I'm totally open to requests in the mean time and would love any constructive criticism. Thanks for everyone's responses! 💙

--------------------------------------

The bold oranges bleed into yellows and the sky becomes a muted blue as the sun's vibrance shines down on us. I wrap my blanket tighter around my shoulders, trying to ward off the morning chill. All of my girls were here and we were finally free enough to do something as simple as watching the sun rise over the sleepy town and my heart felt full. But-as there was always a but with me-a little part of me wished I had someone to share it with...romantically. I wish I had somebody else wrapped in this blanket so we could experience the magnificance together.

"I definitely need to bring Alfie up here soon," Zoe says as if reading my mind.

"It would be so romantic," Poppy scrunchles her nose. "Though Sean would probably talk through the whole thing."

We laugh when Anna says, "But you would love it."

I let out a sigh as Zoe leans her head on my shoulder. Every single one of my friends had been in long term relationships. They all knew what love was and I felt left behind. 27 and I didn't know what it meant to be in love. I blamed myself for it, obviously, I was so in love with my job that I always told myself work first and boys second. I didn't regret that but moments like these made me ache a little.

"You'll find someone soon," Zoe hears my sigh. "When you least expect it and you'll fall for each other and it will be better than what you imagine."

I smile at her optimism. And then the other girls find it funny to add on "and he'll have the biggest muscles you've ever seen," or "and he won't mind driving you around London traffic," while dissolving in fits of laughter.

"You guys are all so clever," I smile at my friends. "But almost half of those things are not even my type."

Zoe sits up and raises her eyebrows, "So what is your type Y/N?"

I think for a second, "Definitely not ripped, huge muscles are a turn-off!" Niomi sighs. "He's got to be handsome, strong-and that's mentally too! I love a good head of hair, he's got to be funny! And knows how to let loose..."I trail off as a certain someone pops into my head and I see Zoe's mind at work. "Got to be at least a couple years older," I add in. "Oh and taller than me. Nothing that starts with 5!"

We decide to grab breakfast and head back to Zoe's where most of us have to head back to our everyday busy lives.

"It was so relaxing being here, thanks Zoe."

"Stop working yourself so hard!" She complains as she pulls me in a tight hug.

"Hey! You should not be talking ms-throwing-christmas-launches-in-october!" Zoe laughs into my shoulder before releasing me.

"We need to remember to just hang out more."

"Deal!"

"It was nice of you to come by, sorry I wasn't home." Alfie comes up behind Zoe, peeling an orange.

"Oh at least I got to see your face in real life," I give Alfie a quick hug.

"Oi!" A voice echoes from upstairs. Shit I didn't know Joe was still around.

"I'm heading to London right after my video uploads. Ride with me."

I meet Zoe's eye and she raises her eyebrow. "May as well, I'm sure he'd like the company."

I shout an "okay" and excuse myself to go upstairs.

"How long is the uploading gonna take?" I ask Joe from his doorway. He's got his laptop in the middle of the bed while he stuffs pieces of clothing into a duffle bag.

"Should be 10 max. Then we can head out."

I step into the room and sit on the bed, "Sounds good."

Joe's eyes scan the room and then he sits next to me with his laptop. "I've been meaning to ask you if you could star in one of my videos?"

"Me?" I ask, confused since I'd never been on an official video before-just in the occasional vlog.

"Yeah, I sort of wanted to do a childhood type video next time I'm in Brighton. Mikey is making the trip to London in a few weeks so I was gonna take him with. And since you grew up with us, I dunno, thought it would add something more for the viewers. Plus they're always asking about you when you pop up on mine or Zoe's."

I consider it, "I'm not the best for something so formal."

What?! You don't have to be we'll all just be talking so no pressure."

I agree to it after he gives me some more details. Sitting this close, I can't help put drink in his features as he lays it out. When he was serious, Joe looked older but in a handsome way. I tried not to think more on it but my stomach started fluttering and I got up abruptly.

"Sounds lovely Joseph, I'm just gonna use the toilet before we go."

"Uh yeah," Joe looks at me funny as I fly out of the room.

I take extra long so by the time I'm done I hear Joe's voice downstairs. We were ready to go.

"No more portals, you're ruining the-the feng shui of the house." Zoe tells Joe as I step down. "The Feng shui?" Joe asks laughing.

Alfie lines up in front of the vlogging camera, "we've had a few ghosts show up through that portal. It's almost Halloween we don't want any more coming through."

"Joe's portal's creating tears in the fabric of the Zalfie house?" I joke and suddenly the camera's on me. Joe walks towards me as Zoe and Alfie chime in their agreement. "This is the lead archaeologist here at the Zalfie residence. Now what is it about these tears?"

"Archaeologist?" I ask Joe.

"Shh-scientist, now what were you saying?" Joe pretends to hold up a microphone as he angles the camera at us.

"These tears," I put on a serious voice and look into the camera, "are the result of the space portal Joesph Sugg has created and time and space is always a tricky concept wouldn't you agree?" I look at Joe who's been staring at me with a smile on his face. He nods while taking off his glasses and perching them on my nose. I almost laugh but bite my lip. "Nasty things slip through as Alfie Deyes has already told us so we need to let the portals remain stagnant for...2 months and...."

"16 days," Joe finishes.

"Precisely," I giggle as Joe takes the camera off of me and realise Zoe is doubled over giggling silently. Alfie is shakind his head at us but his smile reveals his humour.

"...so I guess we'll be taking the Mercedez." Joe explains. I walk away from him as he finishes up and give Zoe and Alfie another hug. Joe catches up to me and grabs my bag as well as his.

"What the bloody hell is in here?" Joe asks. "Just clothes, some toiletries." I respond. He shakes his head as he loads up the back. He sets up the camera on the dashboard after he turns on the car but he accidentally knocks it near my feet. There's an audible crack and we look at each other in horror as we reach for it at the same time.

"Shit," I say as Joe yelps. We pull back our heads and I rub the side before laughing. "Sorry you alright?"

"I'll be bloody fine what about the camera?"

I reach down for it, alone, and hand it to Joe. "I guess it's hard for anything to hurt that thick skull."

His mouth drops, "You're the worst at being nice!" I laugh evilly as he checks out his camera.

"That's weird nothing's wrong," Joe says and then points it towards him. "And it's been on which means everyone heard the real Y/N Y/L/N. She is as icy as they get ladies and gents."

I shrug my shoulders, "I'm a scientist just reporting the facts."

Joe raises his eyebrows and turns to the camera. "I am getting roasted so I'll just," he sticks his hand in front of the camera and turns it off. "That's really odd I swear I heard a crack."

I look down and suddenly spot the culprit. A small glass bottle of hot sauce is wedged under the seat. I pick it up and show Joe. We have a good laugh and soon we're on our way.

"How was the sunrise?" Joe asks after we listen to the radio for a bit.

"It was lush," I gush. "It was so many shades of the most beautiful colours, and it slowly lit up every single thing. It was so bloody romantic."

Joe laughs, "Romantic? You didn't even have your boyfriends up there."

"Well all the girls wished they were. Obviously I don't have one but if I did, that would be amazing."

"Aren't you dating that guy...Jackson?"

"Jacob? God Joe I went on a few dates with him three months ago. He was too clingy. That was so long ago!"

"Well I never bloody see you! You're always up at the crack of dawn rushing to work then rushing home where you work some more."

Joe is referencing to one morning when I bumped into him while getting coffee after I hadn't seen him in months but left after a two minute chat. He texted me afterwards saying how offended he was he wasn't worth more of my time-joking of course.

"It's just my job!" I defend myself.

"Yeah but you should take a break, hang out with friends. We live in the same part of London but I never even see you!"

"Well we lead different lives."

"No, next time I go out I am going to make sure you're there. And then I can watch you get drunk because I have not experienced that since your college days, and before that...senior dance." Joe laughs. I blush with embarassment.

"Fine, as long as it's not on a weekday and I don't have a date."

I go back to texting on my phone but Joe interrupts after a while.

"So...Justin?"

"Jacob." I correct him.

"Yeah, that bloke. He was clingy? What does that mean?"

"Well I told him from the beginning work's a huge priority for me and he said it was fine by him but after the third date he would get so annoyed if I didn't text him right away or if it took me over an hour to respond. He was too much."

"It takes you an hour to respond?"

"Ugh not you too." I roll my eyes.

"No-seriously Y/N are you that invested in work? I'm not so sure that's healthy."

"Listen Joeseph I get enough shite from all my other friends I don't need yours added in. That's like my kid brother lecturing me on working so much."

"I'm not your kid brother," Joe says.

"Obviously not!" I say-that would be creepy. "My kid brother is 21. I said like."

"I'm like your kid brother?" Joe asks and I could tell he was offended and maybe that was a little condescending but I was trying to ignore my newfound crush by saying what I should be believing.

"Ugh don't take it so literally Joe!" I pull out my phone again and browse through it as Joe stays silent the rest of the ride. When he pulls up in front of mine, I finally put the phone down.

"Thank you," I punch his shoulder lightly after he merely nods his head. "Why are you so moody?"

"Just tired," he comments.

I let it go, not in the mood to have any sort of discussion with him. Especially when he looked so hot that moody. "I expect to hear from you soon about that invite," I tease. "I'll see you around."

That finally gets him to look at me and his face melts into a smile, "You better be ready to go out with me."

My heart skips a beat but I play it off with a laugh. "You'd be surprised with how well I hold my liquor."

I walk up the steps to the apartment and as soon as I get inside I flop onto my bed. That was the most tense and emotionally confusing car ride I have ever had

[pokemaniacal]

Litten, Torracat and Incineroar

I have a little personal conjecture about how Incineroar was designed.

Game Freak deeply, sincerely, earnestly didn’t mean to make a fourth Fire/Fighting starter Pokémon.  They were just going to sit down and come up with some unique, entertaining and vaguely Hawaiian-inspired Fire-type.  But then Incineroar just rose up, unbidden, out of the primal mists of Game Freak’s collective id, embedded himself in their tortured psyches, and refused to leave.  Aware that they were making another Fire/Fighting starter Pokémon, but horrified by their inability to stop, they desperately called on Yveltal for help, and the vicious and cunning death god answered their prayers by corrupting Incineroar into a brutal Dark-type.

I mean, obviously some of that is speculative, but I think the general outline is close.

Litten, Torracat and Incineroar are our Alolan Fire-type starter Pokémon line.  As Fire-type cat Pokémon they are a little in danger of being a sequel to generation VI’s Litleo and Pyroar, but fortunately their final stage, Incineroar, takes a very different direction.  Litten is a kitten whose oily fur is highly flammable, causing him to hawk up flaming hairballs.  That’s… a bit of a weird fighting style, but at least an elegant way of bringing the Fire element to a cat Pokémon, so we’ll call it a win.  Likewise, instead of shedding hair all over the place, Litten just sets all his fur on fire and burns it up in seconds (something I occasionally wish my cat could do).  Litten’s notoriously withdrawn and standoffish nature is appropriately cattish as well, and possibly meant to anticipate his eventual evolution into a Dark-type.  That progresses to a highly aggressive, but simultaneously petulant, attitude in Torracat (again, not unlike a bad-tempered housecat…).  Torracat’s most distinctive physical feature is the little fiery bell at his throat, actually his fire-producing organ, which makes a ringing sound when Torracat uses his powers.  Presumably this mimics the bells that cat owners sometimes give their pets to warn off prey, which I suppose constitutes another interesting way of manifesting Torracat’s Fire type.  It’s unfortunate that it doesn’t go anywhere, though; Incineroar loses the bell for a flaming navel and fiery belt.  I would have liked it if Torracat’s bell somehow manifested in Incineroar’s wrestler design as the bell that rings between rounds of a wrestling match; it seems like a really good opportunity to unify the design that was missed.  There are a lot of cat Pokémon now (Meowth in two regional forms, Skitty, Shinx, Glameow, Purrloin, Litleo, Espurr…) and to be honest Litten and Torracat don’t do enough on their own to convince me that we needed another, but it’s Incineroar who was tasked with taking this design in a new direction.  So let’s talk about that.

Incineroar has the species designation “the Heel Pokémon,” which makes pretty clear that we’re dealing with the evil counterpart to Hawlucha – a Pokémon based on a villainous persona from the world of professional wrestling.  Incineroar comes from a similar masked wrestler tradition to Hawlucha, where a mask is supposed to give you a whole new identity to fight under, and you fight for the honour of that identity (often a totemic animal).  Incineroar, as a villainous version of this idea, is not only a jerk, but ostentatiously a jerk, specifically going out of his way to be destructive and chaotic, just as a heel is supposed to.  I’ve seen people specifically locate Incineroar’s inspiration with one Japanese wrestler in particular – or rather, one masked persona, used by five wrestlers over the years: Tiger Mask.  And at first I was sceptical, but the deeper I go down this particular rabbit hole the more I think he probably is iconic enough in Japanese pop culture to actually be referenced by a Pokémon design (besides, according to the WWE website “it would be difficult to overstate [his] influence,” and I try not to question heavily-muscled men in capes and speedos).  The only problem is that Tiger Mask is emphatically not a heel.  The wrestling persona was originally inspired by a 1968 manga, where the character was a Japanese wrestler who had played heel in the United States and turned “face” when he returned home, but the real-world Tiger Mask has always been a heroic character, as have his anime adaptations (because of course there is a Tiger Mask anime; there was even a reboot last year).  There is a corresponding heel character called the Black Tiger, who has a red-and-black colour scheme in the anime, but he doesn’t seem to be as well known, and also the wrestler was arrested for drug smuggling back in 2012 (this is the kind of trivia I just know now; SEND HELP).  Anyway, if you were going to create a Pokémon that paid homage to the Tiger Mask mythos, why go for the derivative villain rather than the iconic hero?  Something about it doesn’t quite ring true – and kinda brings me back to my (only partly tongue-in-cheek) introduction.

I had a whole debate with Jim the Editor over what Incineroar’s type should be, because his feeling is that it doesn’t make sense for this Pokémon not to be a Fighting-type, that Incineroar’s Dark-type traits are secondary to – dependent on – his Fighting-type traits; as a heel wrestler, he can’t be a villain without first being a martial artist.  He’s typed wrong, and this is a blemish on the design.  My counterargument was that the concept of a heel involves an element of theatricality that you could say makes them primarily villains and only secondarily fighters (i.e. pro wrestling is fake; fite me irl).  I’m also inherently disposed to liking this line of reasoning because I have a pre-existing idea that one of the characteristic traits of Fighting Pokémon is that they are supposed to be honourable, so it actually makes a great deal of sense for an ostentatiously villainous Pokémon like Incineroar to be specifically excluded from the type.  Having said that, “Fighting = Honour” isn’t exactly an obvious inference from any official source, and doesn’t fit all Fighting Pokémon (i.e. f#&%ing Primeape), so if you don’t particularly buy into my personal brand of nonsense, Fire/Fighting is arguably a better fit than Fire/Dark for Incineroar – probably because they started from “wrestler” and then looked for ways to justify a type other than Fire/Fighting, rather than actually starting from an idea that was demonstrably Fire/Dark.  Jim the Editor’s suggestion for such an idea, to be submitted here to the court of public opinion, was to have Incineroar be a sort of arsonist/con artist, starting fires outside to draw attention and lure people out of their homes while gangs of Litten and Torracat plunder all their stuff (Incineroar could easily pull off a sort of circus strongman or ringmaster look that would be appropriate to this concept with only minor physical changes).  Litten in this scheme could then be street performers and pickpockets, which gives them a more interesting identity too.  Feel free to heap scorn on this idea in the comments, lest Jim get a swelled head.  That’s enough on the design and flavour side, though; I should get on with how Incineroar works.

Incineroar is a physical tank in the tradition of Ursaring or Machamp: you’re slow and can’t avoid hits, but in theory you can survive them long enough to hit back.  This is an odd thing for a Fire Pokémon to be, and arguably the only pre-generation VII Pokémon who can even do it are Emboar and Arcanine (no, Magcargo and Torkoal, you do not count), so we’re in a field with little competition.  His hidden ability is Intimidate, which would be a wonderful thing for a Pokémon like this to have (or, well, almost any Pokémon to have; a free attack debuff every time you switch in is just really good), but alas, for the moment this is not to be, so we’ll have to make do with the generic Fire-type starter ability, Blaze.  Incineroar has a really solid selection of attacks; in addition to his Dark-type signature moves, he gets Flare Blitz, Earthquake and Cross Chop, all powerful attacks that threaten an excellent variety of types.  Outrage is interesting, but probably not recommended; Dragon attacks have great neutral type coverage, but that’s not one of Incineroar’s flaws anyway, and they hit almost nothing super-effectively (not to mention that being locked into Outrage can stop being fun abruptly).  For some reason, Incineroar can learn Leech Life, which Sun and Moon buffed into a surprisingly solid attack, and honestly, health drain is probably quite a good thing for a Pokémon with Incineroar’s stat profile to have.  Alternatively, U-Turn is also on offer as a source of Bug-type damage and tactical flexibility; it does less damage, but Incineroar isn’t short of power moves anyway, and being able to tank an attack for the Pokémon you’re switching in is a decent use of Incineroar’s bulk.  Swords Dance is there too, to send his attack stat into the stratosphere, but bear in mind that Incineroar is just not fast enough to sweep anything.  It really hurts in general that he’s so slow, and that Fire/Dark is not a great defensive combination: Fire attacks are great; being weak to Rock, Water and Ground is decidedly not, and Dark adds a nasty Fighting weakness to boot.

If you are inclined to buck Fire Pokémon stereotypes and push the defensive, tanky side of Incineroar, there are some support options that he can take for that, although it is maybe a bit of a waste of his excellent physical attack stat.  Will’o’Wisp is nice because burns cripple physical attackers, and doubly nice if we can eventually get Intimidate on him.  Taunt can stop support Pokémon from messing with you, but again, his poor speed hurts; you ideally want Taunt on a fast Pokémon that can actually anticipate and counter a support move, not just shut them down after the fact.  Bulk Up might be interesting, especially in combination with Will’o’Wisp or Leech Life; Incineroar is already far from a pushover defensively, so if your opponent seems to be missing special attackers that can easily take him out, there might be some merit to going all in on buffs.  Body Slam is nicely thematic, and being able to paralyse opponents is good for Incineroar and probably for the rest of your team too; it’s just unfortunate that Normal attacks are terrible.  In an entirely different vein, you could try to turn him into a sort of bastardised surprise physical sweeper by speeding him up with Flame Charge.  It’s no Agility, and the move itself is so weak that you do pretty much have to pack a second Fire attack (there’s no room for, say, Swords Dance), but if you play your hand close to your chest you might be able to confuse someone to death in the late game.  Finally, Incineroar does get Nasty Plot, with a passable selection of special attacks (Flamethrower/Fire Blast/Overheat with Dark Pulse and Focus Blast), but unlike Decidueye his base special attack score is average at best, so the very most I would suggest is putting Overheat on a physical attacker set to maybe surprise a physical wall (bonus points if you make a Z-move out of it).

Because Incineroar is a pro wrestler, and pro wrestlers have a love for signature moves that goes beyond all logic and common sense, he has not one, but two: Darkest Lariat and Throat Chop.  Of these, Darkest Lariat is the one you generally want.  It’s actually one of the strongest Dark-type attacks in the game, though I should stress that this isn’t saying much, since Dark has no really high-powered attacks.  Darkest Lariat helpfully ignores defence and evasion bonuses, and until recently I might have written that off as mostly useful for screwing with the AI, since defence and evasion buffs aren’t common in competitive games.  Specifically in doubles, though, Darkest Lariat does have the peculiar advantage of beating the living $#!t out of the infamous Infinite Defence Palossand (of course, Palossand also has Ground attacks to blow up Incineroar, but it’s something).  The other signature move is Throat Chop, and this is much more niche.  It’s slightly less powerful than Darkest Lariat, and has the unusual effect of disabling the target’s sonic attacks by striking them in the windpipe.  There aren’t a lot of powerful or common sound moves, so Throat Chop is mostly useful against a few Normal-type special attackers, like Exploud and Pyroar, who use Hyper Voice as a major source of damage.  However, I do find it really amusing that Throat Chop can quite badly screw over Incineroar’s Water-type counterpart, Primarina, by disabling her Sparkling Aria.  In practice you still wouldn’t choose to take that fight as Incineroar, because Primarina might just have a different Water attack, but it’s interesting that the designers built in this little reversal of the standard Grass-Fire-Water starter dynamic.  As far as I can tell, Decidueye doesn’t have any similar thematic advantage over Incineroar, nor Primarina over Decidueye.

I’m not as convinced by Litten, Torracat and Incineroar overall as I am by Rowlet, Dartrix and Decidueye.  They have the same sudden, fairly radical shift to a different sort of design at the third stage that I noticed in Dartrix, but it doesn’t quite fit as well – there isn’t really anything tiger-like about Incineroar (tigers being famously ambush hunters), probably because he’s tiger-via-masked-wrestler, but then again, Hawlucha’s the same thing, and her human and animal inspirations do slot together a bit better because of the focus of lucha libre on “aerial” moves.  And… well, to be honest, the whole “slow physical bruiser” thing just hasn’t been a great game plan for most Pokémon who’ve tried it in the past; Emboar has never been especially prominent, and Incineroar is trying to do something fairly similar.  I mean, there’s nothing I think is especially poorly done here, but not a lot that excites me.  I’m calling this one a solid meh-out-of-ten.

[chenoehi]

I don't really discuss what goes on over at stan Twitter that bothers me because stan Tumblr is a whole other issue for me right now frankly, but since you brought it up.

Can this guy be a little bit cringy? Sure, the video of him singing Promise was a little cringy to me but I'm not gonna judge a fan's singing skills who obviously has no training and who seems to not understand the accurate Korean pronunciation at times; I just wouldn't put something like that up, personally. It opens you up to ridicule.

However, what he's doing per se, entering kpop dance competitions with a team of fans, entering look-a-like competitions, running a fan account as the 'Filipino Jimin' because apparently he's won a look-a-contest of some sort and he does these kinds of dance competitions and things because, clearly, he loves Jimin, and he's even met up with look-a-likes of the other members and taken photos for the account?

To be disgusting towards him just for that ^^^, when people do these things all the time everywhere, is itself disgusting. Again, being perfectly frank, I think if it was another member he might not get as much hate and I say that not because I think people are hating on him because they don't like Jimin but because their so sick in their own 'stanning' of Jimin that they have to bully anyone who they think is trying to 'copy' him or become him.

This guy is not the first who has been bullied and he will not be the last. The Rose Bowl guy who dyed his hair pink and people thought he really looked like Jimin? Bullied. The kid from Under 19 who did a cover of Lie? Supported mostly but bullied by a few Jimin stans for 'copying Jimin'. It'll continue.

The people attacking him for every little thing he does are just bitches being bitches who have always been bitches. They never learned the concept of 'live and let live'. And I won't discuss my feelings on the obsessive stanning issue because I have many and I'm tired.

How can we as a fandom get so self righteous about how 'kpop stans' treat us when we treat ourselves so badly.

I just got into a pointless argument that shouldn't even have been an argument but literally dragged on and on because a popular account posted a photo of a group of girls who cosplayed as the boys from Fire era with some of the clothing and some colored wigs, and that's all. They went outside and took a photo and probably took several. It was obvious they were a group of friends who were having fun cosplaying and every person, every person on that post was being so unnecessarily bitchy and nasty it just made me sick. I pointed out that they were just cosplaying and it wasn't that deep and the poster's response was 'cosplaying real people is weird' and I responded with 'so I guess that means we can't dress up as real people for Halloween anymore'. Her response, oh it's cute for Halloween but you're a dumbass if you go out in public like this, and I had to point out to her that the photo she showed us was clearly not these girls walking around 'in public'. She turns around and shows me a photo of a completely different girl cosplaying as Chimmy who went to the BT21 store and took a photo with Chimmy and said 'some people do' to say look, some people walk around like this, and again I had to say, OK but that has nothing to do with these girls and what they're doing. It's literally not the same thing at all. Period.

And of course the majority of the people interacting with her post were like minded with her and were calling the girls 'crusty' and reacting with BTS disgust memes and I'm just flabbergasted guys.

I'm flabbergasted that we all claim to stan the same group that wants us to love ourselves and accept each other and some of you are really out there showing the world what you really are, and that's an ugly, dare I say it, unlovable person.

It's one of the many reasons I don't really call myself ARMY. I don't like the fandom at large. Period. End of story. Frankly, I don't really like any major artist fandoms. Too much arrogance.

I’m really disappointed of Army’s bullying and making fun of the Philippine kid who cosplays as Jimin. I’m sure he just admires Jimin a lot. He’s not doing anything wrong? It’s not like he’s making fun of Jimin or bashing him. :/ He’s just enjoying BTS and his Idol. 

It really pisses me off when I see his videos go around on Twitter and Facebook and Armys are either tearing into him because “hEs NoT jImIn” or they’re just making fun of him. He CAN’T be Jimin. There’s only one and I’m sure he knows it so fucking chill? He’s just having fun. 

[ealdwic]

At the Top of the Fall | Part I

Pairing - Eventual Dean/Cas (Destiel)

Genre/Warnings - Angst, fluff, songfic-like. Potential smut, but this is so UST that it’s gonna be at the end.

A/N: WIP. Started off as a one-shot, and just got away from me. Featuring drunk TFW, graced-up Cas, and singer-songwriting Cas. Totally canon divergent, but relatively canon-verse. Post-season 11, alternate season 12 shenanigans. Part I It's half past ten at night, and Dean slams the thick volume shut with a sense of finality, dust that’s still long-trapped in the pages flying about before it settles. He yawns so wide that his jaw clicks, and downs his fifth glass of some decent foreign beer that Sam had grabbed them, earlier on in the day. He stands and stretches, catching Sam's eye from across the war-room table in the middle of the room. His back is aching from stiffness, and he needs to give up on reading through their research before his eyes start crossing and stay that way. He doesn’t know how Sam sits for so long. He feels like his joints are made of metal. "Anything good? ‘Cuz I'm about done." Sam gives a hum of disappointment at his lack of progress and shrugs, but he closes his laptop with finality. They're not really getting anywhere fast, so they’ll probably decide to call it a night. They haven't been able to find particularly anything to advance the case towards a resolution, but they'll be traveling to the scene tomorrow, with or without a plan. It’s not a tough job, but there are little facts to go from without seeing the crime scene to fit the reports, so it’s only as much as they can surmise beforehand. It’s oddly unsettling after being on a somewhat extended hiatus from hunting – destroying The Darkness can do that to a person – but they’ve cracked tougher jobs. They all needed the break, but nothing stops the world from spinning; there will always be a job to do, and people to save, and Dean has never been one to sit on the sidelines for long.

 Dean and Sam have both respectively had more than a handful of beers between the two of them, and Dean would much rather just let himself enjoy the short, slow interlude, and the chaos that’s still settling from the last few weeks. Dean is considering grabbing another six pack from the kitchen and suggesting they move to the library. At least there’s couches and comfier spots there if they should continue spilling over annoying research. Cas was indulging alongside them, and it’s been a pleasant surprise considering he’s back to his restored state. With the return of his grace, strengthening slowly over the last month they've had him here and living full-time in the bunker, he’s got an unwavering sobriety that remains, no matter how many beers he has, and it’s a notable contrast to where the two of them are soon to reach half-cut status if they keep going. Dean finds he sort of misses the times when Cas was more human than angel, when he could get nice and sloppy alongside them if they had a drinking night. Dean doesn't know why he keeps eyeing the old, dusty piano that’s nestled just off to the right, tucked away a few feet from the bottom of the bunker’s stairway. Even though it’s a bit of an eyesore and it offends him by throwing off the macho vibe of the whole place, he hadn’t had a say in the decision to make off with the old beast of an instrument. After clearing a particularly nasty curse from the object, the family it had been with for years really didn’t want to touch it with a ten-foot pole, and surprisingly, it was Castiel who stole the damn thing, flapping off with it when they were gathering up the last of their weapons and gear, and giving it a new place to rest. It was dusty and decrepit but Cas ended up putting some serious restoration into it over the last few weeks.

 Dean knows Cas has been toying with playing the old thing. He's even heard the trilling notes, here and there, mostly well into the late hours of the last few nights he's taken this sudden, undivided interest in learning it. It’s a foreign concept to hear any type of live music fill somewhere they actively call home, but like all weird quirks that accompany having an angel of the Lord as a piece of your family, it’s just another addition to Cas’ time on the planet. "Can you play that thing yet?" he directs at Cas, and leans back to stretch his back out using the curved chair. "I've heard him plunking away on it. Think you even tuned it, right?" Sam adds. It’s a half-assed way to goad him into action, but it’s also friendly conversation between the three men. It's almost like before, when the three of them could joke and poke fun, Castiel's understanding - or even lack thereof - bringing the moment into a sense of familiarity. It’s a good distraction. Really, they've come full circle, after everything. Either way, Cas is more than used to their sometimes-drunken, probably annoying ways by now, and even if he’s not, Dean’s less than worried over what the guy thinks of him. Considering how many years Cas has been around, it doesn’t seem too easy to shake him off or deter his presence. Dean watches Castiel from across the room as his friend rolls his eyes (a sassy move he’s no doubt picked up from being around them for too long) and wanders over to the quaint white upright instrument, his slender fingers dragging almost hesitantly, carefully across the swell of the keys. It's already uncovered, not that the piano seems to have come with a strip of fabric for protection. It's more of a decoration, at least in Dean's mind, but the piano obviously works, and that’s confirmed as Castiel presses a finger down, compressing the closest key, the soft note trilling out. It's a low sound that resonates through the body of the piano, and Dean can at least attest that the acoustics in the bunker are decent. It carries on a while before fading. "I've learned a little," Cas responds, his voice somewhat contemplative, but he doesn't continue to hover beside it. There’s a moment when something like an idea flickers across his features, but instead, he’s shrugging off the obvious attempt to get him to do something with it. "Not really enough to play." Dean snorts, feeling like there’s more to it, but drops the topic and turns to watch Sam fiddle with his laptop as he opens some movie and hits play. It's a comedy, but Dean's pretty much out of it at this point, riding the high from the alcohol, right on the edge of seriously getting drunk. It's been a long time since they all unwound, even longer since it was together, in the same room, nobody secretly possessed or dying or hiding something, and Dean’s got to wonder what that says about them all. Even Cas has a decent scattering of amber bottles, empty and lined up across the table from where Dean’s still sitting. "I’m burnt. Seriously. Can we get out of here?" Yeah, Dean can see that being fun. He feels like they're entitled to a little downtime, these days. Now that the world isn't ending, for the umpteenth time, what's the harm? Why rush the case? They're going to solve it once the sun comes up anyhow. Dean’s confident about that. "As in, go out?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t really look too keen on the idea, but really, neither of them have been outside since they returned to home base after the whole mess with the almost-end-of-the-world stuff that they always seem to be preventing last minute. It’s like they never really want to leave again, all things considered – but Dean is getting a little cabin feverish, and they’ve all been less than admirable company the last two days. "Yeah, you shut-in. Stretch our legs." "Dean, you're drunk. You can't really drive, and I’m not that sober either." Dean just rolls his eyes, as though the answer should be obvious.
"Cas can just mojo us somewhere, dumb-ass. Really, you think I'd drink and drive?" Sam mutters ‘idiot’ under his breath, but it's half hearted, a total force of habit by now. He lifts his gaze, looking at Cas and watching him come to stand beside Dean. He’s quiet, seeming to give it some thought, and Sam can feel a little swell of concern inside as Cas hesitates, even through the hazy screen of beer that has settled over him. Sam pictures Cas wrapped in a ratty, too-thin blanket, his shoulders hunched and his cheeks and eyes hollow, and thinks of Lucifer… thinks of the obvious trauma that oozed from every footstep and every flighty, closed-in look on Cas’ face. It wasn’t so long ago that he had been Lucifer’s puppet, and for Sam, the whole thing is still a messy scab. He can imagine exactly what it’s like for Castiel - what he’s thinking, and he effectively slams the door on that train of thought. "We don't have to. Dean's just pretty much spewing ideas out." Before Dean can smack Sam upside the head or complain about Sam adding in his two cents, Cas is nodding, a slow gesture of approval, and he answers with a hint of defiance in his voice. Sam knows that Cas is fully angel again, and he’s healed up fine – but mentally, well… nobody currently inhabiting this room, including him, has really expressed much desire to go anywhere unless there’s a case that drags them away from the bunker. He notices these things, even if Dean’s too emotionally constipated to talk about any of it at all, Cas easily following suit so he doesn’t set Dean on edge. 
"I’m fine. And it’s doable."

 Dean can't tell whether Cas really wants to do it or not, but he agrees easily enough after mulling it over. It’s something, at least, and he grabs at the opportunity to get outside with a sudden fervor that hasn’t taken him over since before the Amara and Chuck thing came to a head. "Well then, let's go," he says, surprised he’s really feeling up to it. Dean slaps his hands together, sloppy and loud in the war room, and he stumbles a bit as he rises, his boot colliding when he shifts around the table's end. He pops a couple joints in his knuckles, cracking them as he gets the blood flow finally moving, and turns to Cas. "Gimme five minutes." Dean heads to the bathroom to presumably freshen up, at least to change into cleaner clothes and brush his teeth, because they feel fuzzy from the liquor. Sam wanders off to do the same. Waiting for them, Cas replaces Dean in the chair, all the while quietly aware of the warmth Dean has left behind. It's not really something Cas normally notices, but it's been increasingly obvious that, although he's an angel again, there are some aspects of being human he won’t be without ever again. His body is always on the borderline between physical and mental over-stimulation and a buzzing, hyper alertness. He can still catalogue every physical sensation and feeling in an alarmingly acute sense, no longer like before when he was just a soldier (a hammer, he recalls Dean saying once), back before he knew what it was to fall – what it means to feel things on a human level. Some things don't return to the normalcy of that time prior to losing his grace, even the very first time, and he accepts this, feels certain he has made a sort of peace with it. He has spent days and months as a human, even though his many millennia as an angel overtakes the whole time he's been alive, earth time or heavenly time counted. He has noticed that the humanity in him stays at the forefront of his grace, a swirling, ebbing feeling that has become a piece of his soul, much like breathing or sleeping has felt like. Dean and Sam return, and Cas stands up as they approach him. They both look a little less buzzed, and Sam looks awake enough to seem like he truly does want to venture off with them. In contrast to how Castiel used to fly them by placing his fingers to the both of their foreheads, he folds a palm over each of their shoulders as they come to stand on either side. It’s a firm, friendly grip that truly speaks about the history there. They’ve become a personal, maybe even essential component to him, and it’s no longer just a means to transport them out of danger or somewhere necessary. Before they take off, he catches a soft, nervous smile spreading across Dean's face, perhaps amped up by Dean’s excitement at the idea of leaving the bunker and the research behind for a while. Castiel finds he easily returns it.

 He already has a set destination for them in mind, and he focuses on the location, feeling it speed by his senses as he carries them through the vastness of the skies, and down into a controlled trajectory toward the Earth. -- -- -- -- -- --

[ganymedesclock]

Got a question for you on the Lotor end given your view of his possible personality. So we know that in the first series, third dimension and force that he had this obsession with Allura. Do you think this will continue in this series, or do you think it will be down played significantly, and what sort of view point will he have on girl Pidge once he finds out, because that will inevitably come out at some point to him? Thanks for answering.

Honestly this is… partially “I think this is probable” and much more “I hope the case” but my speculative read on Lotor at this point is… I think he is going to be focused on Allura, and Allura specifically, but for reasons entirely unrelated to “heyy pretty girl” and I don’t think Pidge being a girl wouldn’t significantly change his perception of her.

I feel like if Lotor is going to be a flirt, it’s going to be… kind of how Lance is, where you get the feeling that he mostly just wants to feel validated and prop up his own insecurity and doesn’t really actively pursue or try to snare the attention of other people around him. Mostly because, considering Lotor’s position in the incredibly dominant Galra empire, I feel like any particular attitude of entitlement from Lotor would be an extremely uncomfortable attitude to see in a long-term antagonist. Even if Allura is not remotely beholden to his garbage, it would leave all kinds of nasty implications on various people who haven’t been able to refuse him, or, bit their tongue and offered themselves to him in the hope that it would protect them/people they cared about.

It’s just. really, really uncomfortable. And not in a way that sets up a meaningful antagonist. Especially because in DotU my understanding of Lotor’s attraction to Allura is a sort of “90s cartoon villain wants to date/kidnap/marry the Hero’s Girlfriend because of course”. He was set up as a nefarious rival to the heroic, straight-laced Keith and so of course he -nefariously- wanted Keith’s love interest.

It’s not what I would call an interesting or compelling thing. And basically it would be, I think, a flagrant reduction of Allura’s character how VLD has set her up if she goes from being opposed by villains who see her as both a potent figure for the enemy to rally around, as the leader of Team Voltron and pilot of the castle ship, and a dangerous threat in and of herself- to someone who simply lusts after her because she’s beautiful.

Allura is beautiful, but there’s ways to emphasize that narratively without throwing in a creepy villain.

Not to mention, I think that you would have to play a pretty arbitrary narrative dance to try and explain, if Lotor’s only focused on trying to woo Allura while attempting to fight her team, how he does not immediately just get decked by Allura- who, again, is every bit the dangerous and powerful fighter that the rest of her team is. The times we’ve seen Allura laid low by an opponent is when she’s facing odds that would’ve taken out any other member of the team as well.

Making Lotor powerful enough to not take Allura seriously isn’t just patronizing, it sends a really bad message considering Lotor’s going to have to lose against the characters somehow. It’s especially bad because at least from what I’ve seen, a lot of the DotU fandom kind of makes a joke that Lotor is a dork and we have scenes in the show that are tailored to support that read. 

I mean… a lot of people say and do a lot of things in DotU that make it very hard to take them seriously, like that time the entire voltron force stopped their precarious escape to argue about whether or not they should appreciate vultures more (I am completely serious) and a lot of it is just. that show has not aged well, but that’s pretty clearly, Lotor is supposed to come across as kind of endearing in a Team Rocket kind of way. His ostensible ally just stopping and taking some time to call him out as someone who wears shoulder pads to pretend he is buff.

Getting back on topic here: There’s basically no way to try to romance Allura and fight the rest of her team because Allura is an integral part of that team and if Lotor tried to amicably close with her without a pretty good excuse as to why she should hear him out, they would not be having an amiable chat. “Kidnap the Princess” isn’t just a trope that’s aged badly in general, but it just plain doesn’t work here.

I also would find it suspicious for Lotor to underestimate female opponents. I could be wrong about my assumption that Haggar is likely Lotor’s mother, but it remains to be stated that one of the strongest people in the Galra empire and someone who rather effortlessly has Zarkon’s ear in most situations, not to mention a sorcerer of truly terrifying power- someone who Lotor is clearly connected to somehow as she can simply order someone to send for him with the certainty that Lotor will come- is a woman herself.

That said- I do think Lotor has an angle to be fascinated by Allura and trying, ineffectively, to get a chance to talk to her. But I think this could well be divorced entirely from the one-sided romance concept.

VLD pulls a surprising number of things from GoLion, including the name of Takeshi Shirogane, the Galra, and Altea. In GoLion, Lotor’s counterpart, Sincline- is half-Altean, half Galra, and his fixation on Allura is partially because Allura resembles his mother. Now, GoLion takes that in an incredibly creepy direction, but, pulling back from that a bit-

As I’ve mentioned, I think Haggar is the most likely candidate we’ve seen so far to be Lotor’s mother. Which would, considering Haggar’s species, make Lotor half-Altean, just like Sincline.

Allura is a beautiful woman, yes- but also in VLD, she’s one of the only living Alteans, and the only known female Altean besides Haggar. And both Haggar and Allura in this continuity have long white hair- a trait traditionally that Lotor has.

My tentative read/hope, honestly for Lotor is that he is focused on Allura, but not because he wants The Hero’s Girlfriend. Some of that might come across, but I think largely because Lotor is going to be a deeply insecure person- in DotU he’s considered strange looking or even repulsive by Zarkon and it makes sense he is going to look unusual by Galra standards if he’s only half-Galra; and he’s also a basically redundant heir to someone who has lived for ten thousand years and has no intention of dying or abdicating the throne.

So Lotor probably wants validation. I wouldn’t put it past him to be interested in trying to get the attention of people he sees as pretty or desirable- a lot like how Lance flirts in VLD.

I think for the most part, Lotor’s interest in Allura is going to be, sort of like an antagonistic shadow of Keith trying to puzzle out his history and the muddled past that led to him being on Earth, with the Marmora sword- Lotor might be trying to work the opposite way.

We don’t know where in Zarkon’s thousands of years of life he’s come into existence- but it’s pretty likely he didn’t know Altea. In which case, it could well be that the other half of Lotor’s heritage shows, obviously- but he’s also able to do enough to blend in that it’s not something that majorly affects his relationship with others as much as the conscious effort to look “proper” and the knowledge that it isn’t really how he looks would be a private, but major conflict with his self-image.

Neither Zarkon nor Haggar are going to want to be resources for their hypothetical wayward son in this case. Neither of them like Altea or talking about it at all- in fact, I think it’s notable that while it’s Zarkon in s1e1 that talks about wiping out the last of the Alteans, while Haggar simply doesn’t comment- it’s Haggar in s2e5 that tries to make good on it by suggesting they focus on the castle while Allura is trapped, rather than free the castle to chase the Black Lion. That Haggar seemingly obstinately spends all time she possibly can in galran form does not suggest she has a great relationship with her homeland- something has deeply embittered her to the concept of Altea.

So if Lotor has never been given any means to understand himself beyond he’s a really weird-looking Galra with a strange ability that just further brands him as weird- and then he suddenly sees someone who might have those same under-eye markings or other traits he recognizes immediately in himself- he’s going to want to chase that- without revealing why. If he is the Weblum Galra, this would also tell us why, in-universe, he’d go for that stoic, helmeted persona- because Lotor is used to, and practiced at, trying not to be recognized under any circumstances. 

And, like any good antagonist, this could be used to pry loose more development from Keith because if I’m right that the Weblum Galra is Lotor- he now has a lot of ammunition and a good angle to start projecting that image problem on Keith something awful, because thanks to things Hunk and Keith discussed within the Weblum Galra’s earshot, it’s pretty clear Keith has both some amount of Galra lineage and a very testy relationship with the whole idea. And there’s clearly some layer to Keith’s appearance that we haven’t seen yet outside of s1e10- there was a reason they specifically had Keith get that burn, and realize it was there, but for it to disappear before anyone else sees it.

So Lotor could very well be the catalyst to that, because he’s hardly going to be focused on the Black Lion and Shiro the way Zarkon was- he doesn’t really have a personal relationship with Voltron, which means as an antagonist, he’s going to be trying to flex a completely different agenda, and focusing on different characters as a result.

[makesyovcry-blog]

                  Let me rant about the differences between 1975 and 2016                          Eddie + where my portrayal falls between them

          Ok for some godforsaken reason I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while because I love overanalyzing this tiny tiny character && it doesn’t take much work because he literally appears in less than 10 minutes of the movie , in either adaptation. But I wanted to write this because I know I use Adam Lambert as a fc but whether anyone knows it or not, I base a ton of his characterization on Meat Loaf’s Eddie.

          Essentially all I can look at with Eddie is his performance of Hot Patootie & the single line he has in Eddie(’s Teddy), that line being the “I’m out of my hed, etc.” One big characterization issue I’ve had in writing Eddie is I’ve never exactly been able to find his voice. Not his voice as in how he talks or his mannerisms or anything like that , I mean his literal speaking voice. Meatloaf was born in Texas and had a super distinct Southern accent for the few seconds you actually hear him talk. Frankly, I don’t think Eddie was Southern. I’m not blaming Meatloaf or anything, because honestly in the original, all the actors seemed to do whatever they liked as far as accents went. Little Nell didn’t do a very good job at being Un Australian, so I just don’t think that was a priority. However, Adam Lambert’s voice is clearer and sweeter and almost comes off as sounding too young and boyish. He even sings the last line an octave up from where Meatloaf did. Basically I love both their voices, but as far as Eddie’s speaking voice goes, I sort of imagine something deeper and a bit rougher. Adam Lambert’s voice is definitely closer, though. Also, as far as the note itself goes, I’m not sure whose version I prefer???? When Meat reads it he sounds like he’s actually reading a note, struggling through it a little bit. (But the ‘or I may be dead’ doesn’t sound like a guy who’s afraid his ex boyfriend might kill him. Sorry Meatloaf.) His scream sounds more like an actual scream than Adam Lambert’s punk yell does, though. Adam’s reading of the note sounds more like he understands what he’s saying, and he’s scared, which is really accurate & true to character. So that’s all I have to say on The Note™. 

          Now about Hot Patootie !!! My favorite part obviously, because this is Eddie’s real 3 minutes of stardom. First off, the remake totally took out the whole freezer concept. I have no idea why Eddie would motorcycle through a window, especially since when the song ends he falls out a window, showing they were a few stories up. Obviously with Meatloaf he has his whole riding through a wall of ice thing, which is unrealistic as well, but at least interesting - as it gives me the whole cryogenic element to think about with Eddie. Frankly, I don’t know where Eddie would’ve gone if he hadn’t been in the freezer, or when he would’ve left post-lobotomy either, so I definitely accept the freezer aspect as canon. Furthermore, Adam Lambert doesn’t seem phased at all when he literally motorcycles through a window, Meatloaf takes a second to look around and get his bearings, which probably partially goes along with the freezer thing. I’ve honestly never been a fan of how they staged Hot Patootie in the remake, just because despite the Transylvanian convention being there, it still wasn’t exactly a concert. Not to mention Eddie treats Columbia more like his groupie than his girlfriend, which is like 1000x against how I write him. Also somehow she gets excited when Eddie arrives but stays away from him while he does his thing onstage until he goes to sing to her. With Meatloaf it just seemed much more natural and real, like Columbia was excited to see her boyfriend and can’t keep herself off of him for most of the song. ‘75 Hot Patootie also just seems more like he’s interrupted something than 2016, appropriate considering they were all in the middle of something and he just breaks in. I know this is all sounding like I’m leaning more towards the original, but bear with me because I swear I 1. have arguments towards both and 2. am not arguing in favor of the original because I think it should be the one true accepted Rocky Horror, I just use it more for my own characterization. To address the differences in Eddie’s style, I just have to say I love the look of Adam Lambert’s Eddie. I love his greaser hair and his spikes even more than Meatloaf’s cowboy boots and ripped jeans. I definitely feel like just because of the way they costumed each actor’s Eddie, there’s a bit of character insight there. Meatloaf wasn’t as gross. He wasn’t as punk or as out there, he was just kind of a rock and roll country boy. I almost feel like Meatloaf’s Eddie would have been in over his head in the castle, a little more innocent and less roughed up by the world. Ok lastly, above all, my favorite part of the ‘75 version is how he treats Columbia. I’m going to precede this with the knowledge that Adam Lambert knowingly characterized Eddie as a bit trashier than Meat Loaf did. Not that there are many interviews with Meat Loaf, but in the ones with Adam he describes Eddie as nasty and gross and even a sex addict. Therefore it makes sense that his Eddie would  be a little grosser and more charismatic, smooth his hair back & wink & everything, he grabs her boob, they have a weird moment of motorcycle sex and are altogether rougher than Eddie is in ‘75. I would say that’s a difference in era, but the original had no problems with being rough and gross in other aspects (especially with Frank). In the original, as horribly sappy and romanticized as it sounds, they have a real connection - more so than the remake. Columbia’s screechy ‘EDDIEE!’ sounds more like she really missed him than like seeing him is just a surprise. There’s the first moment they’re together where she just clings to him and they both look each other up and down & she looks back at his eyes. I could list practically a thousand things they do. The way they dance together is sweet and practiced and they look like they’re having fun, the way they look at each other is with complete infatuation, he lifts her up & carries her like that’s a regular thing for them, and they totally do have a weird little sex moment like in the remake (the floor thing) but it’s more like they just can’t keep their hands off each other. It’s a huge stretch to say Eddie Von Scott is a gentleman, because I don’t think he is in any sense of the word, but when he’s with Columbia he’s definitely a little sweeter than how he is with Brad and Janet, Rocky, and especially Frank. Plus, they’re clearly not too similar. Columbia’s all gold tailcoats and glitter and a sweet little squeaky voice, she’s not gross and punk like he is but they’re still together. Plus, neither of them are as conventionally attractive as in the remake. I mean honestly, Little Nell shaved her eyebrows. They’re weird. They’re weird and Eddie is in love anyways, in love enough to let the tough guy thing down a little bit and be sweet.

          Despite all this , I still use Adam as a faceclaim because I really did love his performance. Of course there were flaws, and since I write Eddie, of course I’m going to be super nit picky and detailed about it. Not to mention I write him a bit younger and Adam can play that age while Meatloaf can’t. I like the playful, boyish element that Adam Lambert naturally has (even though he’s super super tough & punk looking), Meat Loaf just seems more like an adult. Bur overall, while I love them both, I think the original was a bit more thought out in plot details and Eddie was a little more human. That’s all.

[agreementtale]

Chapter 16: turn around and shake my hand.

“human” now that they got here, whole body paralyzed by an invisible force in the narrow path, they were just a bit nervous.

Flowey coiled his vines around their torso, without moving the outside of the sweater, they had convinced him to let them lead this interaction, and stay still. He reluctantly accepted, but only when they assured him he was not going to be electrocuted again.

“turn ‘round ‘nd shake my hand” That was the cue, they were rehearsing the lines in their head during the whole path.

With the friendliest smile they could muster they turned to the offered left hand, raised their right hand and shook it from the back, successfully avoiding the hidden device on his palm.

The handshake was awkward, but before he had a chance to say anything or they had the chance to break character by not being able to contain their giggliness, they retreated their arm.

“Sorry, it’s that not how you shake hands down here?” Said with an innocent face “That must be a real culture shock” they tried to make the pun smooth, but couldn’t maintain a pokerface any longer and ended up having to hold in a chuckle while he just glared at them, still weary.

“ya must have a pretty good eye to see thru da old joy buzzer trick” his toothy grin was on place, but didn’t seem to be kind nor amused, the crack on his maxilla and that one weird colored teeth made it harder to concentrate on a proper retort.

“Eye get that a lot” dismayed for the lack of reaction they improvised, still with no reaction, maybe this pun only worked when written? But… they knew he could see the difference… somehow? Or was that just wishful thinking?

“lots of humans try ta electrocute ya on the surface?” Maybe? Do not explain the pun, it is never fun if you have to explain it, just… go with the flow…

“Shockingly yes” They improvised, again, gladly he seemed less wary this time. They swore to themselves they would improve their pun game, it appeared to be awfully rusty.

“heh, so the human enjoy puns? ain’t I a lucky guy?” He took the device out putting his hand on the pocket of his leather coat “name is Sans, Sans the skeleton” it seemed warm, with all the fur, plus the red sweater inside. The cold wind was stronger than they remembered, even with three shirts and lots of socks, their legs were still cold, not unbearable, though, they’ve been worse.

The skeleton was taller than them, but not by much, if they got on their tippy toes they would be the same size. But by his posture and his clothes, it seemed he was trying to appear bigger, so there was a slight chance of them offending him with that… And the red eyelights? It wasn’t the most forgiving colour.

“I’m actually supposed to turn the humans to the guard. but ya seem like a nice fella, so let me give ya some little advice, ‘right kid?”

He loomed over them, exhibiting his incredibly sharp teeth in a big wide grin, for the first time they realized that despite being almost the same height, he was much larger than them, maybe the clothes helped, but still, his posture… wasn’t the friendliest sight.

“nice gets ya killed” Empty eye sockets stared right through them, while his teeth moved slowly with each word, they felt cold running down their spine, acutely aware that, by the range his mouth stretched and appearance of his teeth, he could probably rip their face off with a single bite. For the sake of their composure, they buried this thought under several layers of denial.

“Oh, thank you for the advice” they wouldn’t let him intimidate them “But I believe being nice is the least I can do” they started to motion their hands, like explaining a hard concept “I mean, I do intend not to be killed on the process” Ok, maybe they were a bit intimidated “but when being nice costs me nothing, why not?” they shrugged, forgetting where to put their hands and hoping that he could understand the concept, Flowey certainly couldn’t.

He chuckled, kind of amused, if by their idea, or their inability on putting it into words, they didn’t know “won’t get far thinking like that, kid” relief washed over them, he had his eyelights back and looked a bit more approachable, and despite not agreeing with them, he didn’t outright try to make them change their mind, not like Flowey.

“That’s what I am trying to tell them!” Speaking of which, yellow petals bloomed from the collar of their sweater, obstructing their vision.

“I’m not killing anyone Flowey” they chastised him, trying to brush his head out of their way, that talk was getting old and they didn’t need him talking for them.

“You will end up getting killed!” But his outrage in their behalf was always endearing. So what if they got killed?

By the gaps between his petals they saw his shoulders shaking, attracting their full attention again.

“never thought I would have the Weed insisting on someone to kill, can’t picture that” what did he mean by that? Flowey didn’t shut up about that since day one…

“Good to see you too bag of bones” he greeted him like an old friend “I thought someone would have dusted you by now” well… maybe not so much like a friend after all.

“they can try” he looked at them, red eyelights back into place, rounder and much less aggressive “so ya taking care of the lady’s pet human?” their palms itched, that word didn’t sit right.

“I’m not a pet” he… this… fell monster seemed amused by their reaction, but at the same time happy to ignore them.

“They were the ones choosing to come here” and he was not the only one, they were going to protest, but he put a leaf on their mouth “Adults talking” Really Flowey? Closing their fists, they took a deep breath, since he was right on their face, the air ended up smelling like flowers, which was oddly calming.

“too bad, too bad, would have lived a long happy life being the old gal’s pet” ok, kiss that ‘calm’ goodbye.

“I’m not a pet!” They reiterated, but both Flowey and Fell ignored their indignation.

“see I may be too lazy to report ya” he said to no one in particular, despite obviously talking to them “but, if it were anyone else... like Boss...” his smile grew menacingly, and now he decided to address them “well, let’s just say if I were a human I wouldn’t be dying to meet him”

Understanding he wanted a reaction out of them, they just smiled “Thank you for the advice” and turned around to inspect the gate.

“ya gonna turn yer back to me like that?” his voice was more surprised than angry.

“I’m sure there is some sort of way to pass through this” they spoke softly to themselves, the gate was narrow, with barbed wire intertwined with wood “It’s firm!” and incredibly well built, they put a foot in the wire and it hardly gave in.

“They have no common sense” Flowey said facing the skeleton at their back, they were too preoccupied with the challenge ahead to pay attention to the monsters “Don’t know how they even survived before we met” they climbed on the wire, being careful not to cut themselves. Seeing their struggle Flowey used his vines to help, they murmured a thanks and kept going “But considering they just fell into a giant hole in a mountain, it shouldn’t be that impressive” step after step, they successfully climbed the wire crossing the bridge, jumping safely to the other–/

They landed head first on something hard “brave kid, huh?” nursing their forehead, they looked to the skeleton in front of them, their brother looked to where he had been a moment ago and where he stood now, in a silent question, but didn’t say anything “but ya know, brave means shit if ya have nothing to back that up”

“I have mildly functional athletic skills, a high tolerance to bullshit and a wide range vocabulary, would that work?” That was a lie, they didn’t have a ‘wide range vocabulary’, just a big mouth, that didn’t know when to shut up.

He just sighed and shook his head, they could almost hear him thinking ‘this kid is going to get killed so many times’, not that he had time to voice that, as Flowey already was shouting on their ears “No, it makes it worse!”

Something else caught his attention “fuck” he muttered alarmed “Boss is here” before they knew they were being pushed out of the path to the tree line “hide”

Flowey got inside their sweater, vines tightly on their stomach, they crouched behind a tree, beside them there was a broken lamp, they thought of changing places, but mentally slapped themselves, a broken thing like that, it would obviously offer no cover.

On the distance they saw a glimpse of red and took a deep breath. They had cover, they had Flowey, they knew what was happening.

Papyrus, they remembered him, Sans’ brother. He was going to start complaining about something.

“sup, Boss” something sounded wrong, they didn’t know what it was, just knew it was wrong.

“SANS, YOU INSUFFERABLE WASTE OF SPACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE YOUR–/”

His shouting ceased, the noise being replaced by the soft sound of the cold wind blowing on the branches. The air got caught in their lungs when their body was surrounded by a blue light. Not a second later they were yanked from the trees.

“WHO DARE SNEAK ON THE ROYAL” Red eyelights stared at them “GUARD?” they tried to reach the ground, but it was too far away.

“they just a free-EXP, Boss” standing near his brother Sans was sweating, “probably tried to hide seeing how terrible ya are”

Floating above the ground, incapable of moving their body, they did the only thing they could think of, and waved slowly at the new skeleton “Hi”

“EXPLAIN” His face morphed quickly from surprise to suspicion to rage “RIGHT” on his left eye there was a nasty scar, it pained them just to look at it “NOW” his magic was wild around them, a promise of pain and death “WHY IS YOUR SOUL UPSIDE DOWN!?”

The so obvious question shocked them to silence “are ya sure Boss?” maybe it was the right response because Sans took a step forward, positioning himself between them and Papyrus “seems normal enough to me”

“KEEP YOUR DISTANCE SANS!” the taller pulled his brother away from them “HOW CAN YOU NOT NOTICE THAT THIS IS ONE OF OUR MOST DANGEROUS ENEMIES?” they saw silently how the loud skeleton stuffed his chest in pride “I THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS HAVE CAPTURED A HUMAN!”

“maybe ya just holding them upside down?” Sans tried, but he already looked defeated “those are the legs, see?” he poked at their arms, the scene would be comical if they weren’t aware of the killing intent on the air.

“NONSENSE! YOU MORONIC SLOB! I’M TAKING THIS HUMAN TO UNDYNE” This name was enough to shake them back to reality, this was not a show to be watched, it was happening with them, right now, and if they didn’t do something, they knew very well what would happen next.

“I’m definitely not an enemy” said a little breathless, putting their hands if front of them in an attempt to placate him.

“HA! YOU THINK YOU CAN FOOL ME WITH SUCH A PATHETIC LIE?” they could feel Flowey moving under their sweater, he had been hidden since Papyrus showed up, as they asked him to.

“But it’s true! I never hurt any monster” they said confident in their lack of LV to back them up. They tried to think in a better plan, but Flowey moved again, it was getting too distracting.

“AND YOU THINK THAT THIS DETAIL WOULD MAKE ME PITY YOUR EXISTENCE ENOUGH TO LET YOU GO?” he eyed them with disdain, that… that emotion didn’t sit well on his face at all! “YOU ARE A FOOLISH HUMAN”

“But–/” but he didn’t let them finish, with the wave of a finger, they had the wind knocked out of them again and were moving on the air, fast enough to match his steps, behind them Sans had to jog to keep up.

“ENOUGH TALKING! TO UNDYNE YOU GO” Flowey was starting to be an inconvenience moving so much, they were trying to think and his vines were a tad too scratchy.

“I thought we could” they winced as the vines compressed their stomach “maybe” blinking the memories away they continue “do some puzzles instead?”

“PUZZLES?” he stopped walking, a thorn pressed on their stomach, dammit Flowey, be quiet! Papyrus turned to them, and they forced the pain away, eyes a bit too watery for their taste “PUZZLES ARE FOR CAPTURING HUMANS WHY SHOULD I WASTE MY TIME WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY CAPTURED? IT WOULD MAKE NO–/” Papyrus stared at them for a moment, as if he was staring at a point in the air beyond them, another light shuffle interrupted their observation, if Flowey didn’t went quiet right now he would be discovered.

“Because it is your last chance to use them” they blurted to avert his attention of their moving sweater. He shot them an wrathful glare “I’m the last human to ever fall here, the puzzles will go to waste”

He didn’t say anything, just scowled.

“c’mon Boss, how many years went on calibrating those traps?” Sans caught up with them “ya never waste time like that”

That comment earned him the same hateful glare, they could see him burying himself on his coat “I was told puzzles are part of monster culture” he looked at them, the same red angry eyelights, they could feel under their skin the urge to run and hide, but they pressed on “I am sure you put great effort in yours” the look of a predator, that was what that was. The intent alone was intimidation, but he definitely had the power to fulfill the threat if he had to “And I would be honored if I could see them”

They thought the admittance was going to soften his features.

It didn’t.

Then gravity changed.

They fell feet first, but no balance, so ended up hitting their ass on the ground with a undignifying ‘ouch’, more out of surprise than anything else, thanks for the snow it hadn’t actually hurt.

“IT IS SETTLED” Papyrus waved a dismissive hand, while they got up to their feet “ALL THE TRAPS ON THIS AREA HAVE BEEN EXPERTLY COOKED TO PERFECTION, LETS SEE IN WHICH ONE YOU WILL FINALLY PERISH” crossing his arms he glanced at the path ahead, but they could feel his attention lingering on their movements.

“If I survive, is there a prize?” they patted the snow out of their clothes, careful not to jostle Flowey again.

He shot them a sour look, and they were starting to believe that this was his default expression “THE PRIZE IS NOT DYING” it might be, the scowl seemed to be imprinted on his face “SURVIVE THEM AND YOU WILL HAVE THE HONOR OF DYING BY MY HANDS”

“Like in a fair honourable fight?” they couldn’t not ask, it was bothering them, the gravity magic had been used outside of an encounter, the electroshock had gone as far as killing them without triggering one. It was a foreign and dangerous concept, if he just threw bones out of nowhere they would hardly have a chance.

“OF COURSE IT WILL BE A FAIR FIGHT!” Anger was still there, but little by little they could distinguish more emotions on his face, pride being a strong one “DO YOU THING I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS WOULD HAVE TO RESORT USING VILE TECHNIQUES TO DEFEAT A PITIFUL THING LIKE YOU?” he scoffed, Sans grinned, his posture more relaxed than before, it made them feel calmer in return.

“Then is settled” They could deal with that, it was simple and familiar “I will do my best to survive the puzzles and be rewarded with a fight with the great Papyrus!” They would befriend him in no time.

Tapping his sharp gloved fingers he grunted something undistinguishable while glaring at them “CONTINUE ONLY IF YOU DARE” then turned around and just started walking.

Sans stood where he was, smile in place, but something was off “if yer smart, yer gonna go back to where ya came from” he said the words slow and careful, like trying to spell out a threat to a particularly dumb human.

“It may be too late for that” they said pleadingly, all this uncalled aggression was making their head spin.

“STOP WASTING MY TIME, YOU USELESS RASCAL” Sans winced at the voice and followed quickly, leaving a troubled human behind.

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