#obviously I could find other ways of going about it but idk how those methods are holding up these days lol

[heartbeetz]

I bought the crash original trilogy remakes on steam a while back specifically bc of Anton. I should play at least one of the wario lands at some point too. Learning my roots...

[writingquestionsanswered]

Not sure if you've answered something like this before, but how do I write "prettier" sentences? I know one thing that will help would be expanding my vocabulary, but a thesaurus only seems to get me so far. I feel like when I write, especially when I'm describing things, my sentences are so basic. Idk if this makes sense, if it doesn't I can try and find examples from other writers to help describe what I'm talking about!

How to Write "Prettier" Sentences

Pretty prose is something many writers aspire to, however, it's not as easy to achieve as looking up words in a thesaurus. It's something you have to train yourself to do through both learning and practice.

Learn By Reading/Listening

First and foremost, making sure you're reading/listening to a variety of books and stories is essential if you want to learn how to craft prettier prose. Reading and listening to stories helps train your brain to: recognize the cadence of pretty prose, understand the structuring of pretty prose, understand how to craft meaningful imagery, and fills your head with vocabulary.

Expanding Your Vocabulary

Vocabulary is also an important component of crafting pretty prose. Following web sites, pages, and apps that have a "word of the day" (like the Merriam-Webster website) is a great way to learn new words. You can also purchase a word-of-the-day desk calendar for 2024. Some writers like to flip open the thesaurus every day on a random page and read a few random words. You can also read creative articles in newspapers, magazines, websites, etc. to learn new words. You can also look up the specific vocabulary for something you're describing, like if you're describing a house, you can look up the architectural style and general architectural terms to learn how to describe specific things like the style of home, the trim, the windows, etc. Finally, in addition to the thesaurus as a source of new words, you can add other word references to your collection, such as The Describer's Dictionary, the Random House Word Menu, The Writer's Lexicon, etc.

Learning Poetic Cadence and Imagery

Listening to music/reading song lyrics, and reading/listening to poetry are great ways to teach your brain how to craft descriptive imagery. Poetry has to say a lot with few words, so it helps you understand the power of using just the right words in just the right way.

Effective Description is Important

Effective description is of course another piece of the puzzle. Not all writing is description, but a lot of pretty prose is descriptive. So, when you're describing things in your story, make sure to consider the senses--what can be seen, heard, tasted, smelled, felt/touched? You don't want to incorporate all of that into the description of one thing, obviously, but if your character is walking into a forest, considering all of those things can help you come up with a vivid, beautiful description. Sometimes, looking for photos or videos of the thing you want to describe can be helpful, too.

Practice Makes Perfect

And last but not least: practice. Once you've started to train your brain using the methods above, when you go through a draft to revise it and come to a sentence that needs sprucing up, try out different things that you've learned. Don't go overboard with the thesaurus, but perhaps your sentence describes twinkling stars... is there another word you could use instead of twinkling that's more surprising and vivid? The thesaurus suggests: glimmering, shimmering, sparkling, blinking... cross-checking each of these in the dictionary shows they're all appropriate choices for describing the twinkle of a star. You can also read the sentence out loud to listen to the cadence... are there longer or shorter (yet appropriate) words you can use instead to make the sentence more lyrical? Improving your sentences in editing helps you learn to craft pretty sentences as you're writing them the first time.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

SEE MY ask policies

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa

[notnights]

your gangle cosplay is really cool, do you have any tips for someone trying to make their own?

Thank you! I appreciate it. And it depends on what you're going for with it! I've seen a lot of different Gangle cosplayers with different interpretations which are creative and fun to make I imagine! So I can't really advise any specifics on crafting etc since I don't know what you're going for.

For me when I cosplay I want to get as "accurate" as I can with the character design. I unfortunately am not very good at sewing and shaping and stuff but you can see that didn't stop me, I made it as well as I could. And Gangle is obviously one of the more difficult characters I've ever decided to cosplay so wasn't ever going to be accurate with her unless I did like... a puppet method or something. (From my understanding this falls under the "creature" cosplay category?)

Idk if these will help at all, but it's good to start with visualizing ideas you want to try for before hand:

Ideas for a Navi, Bill Cipher and Gir from Invader ZIM cosplays that went no where.

Thinking outside the box also helps in the sense of, other forms of crafting, skills or items, you wouldn't think to use might help with what you're making!

Examples:

I used fursuit methods to help build my NiGHTS cosplay, I also used quilting methods to help make Gangle's ribbon limbs.

When making Circus Baby I wanted an exhaust fan that actually spun, turns out there are plenty of tutorials on how to make your own fidget spinners so used that method to make a light weight one out of cardboard and pennies for that piece! When making Gangle 2.0 to keep the shape I wanted to infuse wire into the edges of the ribbon limbs. The best method for this would have been to hand sew floral wire to an extra piece of fabric with fishing wire, then sew that one in with the edges of the the limbs. I however was only 1 and a half week away from a con and still had a ton of pieces to finish so I got a bunch of cheap wired ribbon, and infused those inside the limbs. (Kept the shape well enough but I'm at the point where I want to remake them again lol.)

Instead of using traditional adhesives like hot glue, maybe something like silicon adhesive can be used and other more hardware based unities can be used. Hardware stuff in general helps. Similar stuff they sell at craft stores can often be found cheaper at hardware stores. I've had the benefit that my father is a handyman so I grew up with a lot of that tool usage, and loved going to hardware stores with him because sometimes I'd find something that would make me be like "WAIT I CAN USE THIS For that art project I've been trying to do."

This admittedly also comes from my doll customization hobby, which believe it or not, has a lot of power tool usage to make those pretty little dolls! Some of these things I used for my Gangle. Making cute ribbon outfits or bows for dolls, you have to burn the edges of the ribbon you've cut, least it fray (in Gangle 1.0. each ribbon you see has been lovely burnt by candle LOL) when Gangle 2.0's ribbon fabric it would run after getting snagged on stuff, I made a "sealer" I'd use for making doll wigs. Watered down glue (this case Modge podge because its already watery) and painted it over any places that would receive a lot of friction as the solution admitted made the satin a tiny bit duller so didn't want to paint the whole thing with it.

Sometimes you can use the methods/shapes from existing clothing to help you make what you want. When I made my NiGHTS cosplay I found a little decorative halloween jester hat which I used as a reference to make a pattern for NiGHTS' hat/horns.

Speaking of, and also in relation to that hardware thing. Thrift shops are a great way to find random pieces of stuff you think can help with your project especially if they're going to be items you cut up/modify anyways. I wanted the illusion of floating when making my NiGHTS and musing about a Tatsumaki cosplay so wanted to use tacky clear platform heels to make it happen lol. And thrift shops have a ton of used shoes. I only needed the platform part and remove the straps so didn't need anything brand new. While I didn't find clear ones at the time I did find other platforms that helped with my NiGHTS, the feet were so big on the costume it shadowed the heels anyways and kept the illusion. (bonus concept of that Tatsumaki idea)

When I needed a squeaker for a cosplay piece I just bought a 99 cent dog toy and disemboweled it for one. In the same kind of "cheat" I just got a wielding mask, removed the mask part, and attached my Gangle mask to it to make a way method to take it on and off.

Anyways that was a lot of examples, but they're times when my dumb dumb brain was like "wait!!! I don't have to do this the hard way and get what I'm looking for!!" and it saved me from said hard way of getting what I wanted.

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

Also we could have made it SO MUCH GAYER?!?

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[morningstarbee]

one of the things i think about a lot is Hannibal's reasoning for letting Will's encephalitis progress in season 1.

obviously in the show, we get a few reasons that are either outright stated, or pretty heavily implied:

it made it much easier for hannibal to frame him, since he just has stretches of time he doesn't remember. also because all of his violent dreams and hallucinations made it easy for will to believe he could have done what he was being framed for.

it removed the barriers and mental blocks will had up against indulging the part of him that enjoyed violence and killing. it made him more suggestible to acting on those desires.

it further obscured hannibal's identity as the ripper from will, since will was too busy losing his mind and seizing to pick up the clues in front of his face

he was kinda curious what would happen.

What I think about a lot is, did it really do Hannibal any favors? Like did making Will go through that really benefit either of them in any significant way?

Before the encephalitis really sets in, Will is already admitting to enjoying it. He tells Hannibal he enjoyed killing Hobbs at the end of episode 2. And we see later in season 2, and even in season 3, that after he has fully recovered from the encephalitis, he doesn't hesitate that much when attempting a murder.

My thing has always been wondering...wouldn't the encephalitis hinder his self-acceptance? He could attribute any of his violent thoughts to his impaired state of mind while being sick. Hell, even with the way season 1 ends, he could easily dismiss any of his own feelings on the matter as a product of Hannibal's manipulation and the encephalitis clouding his judgment. From my point of view, the encephalitis and Hannibal's involvement with it gives him a free pass to separate himself from all of it.

There were certainly other ways to obscure Will's discovery of his identity. Really, if he hadn't been so exciting to encourage will to "cultivate his instincts as the inspirations they are" he probably could have gotten away with it a bit longer. Will could have easily been blinded a bit longer by Hannibal's usual method of just being so polite and such a good friend and general upstanding citizen that no one ever thinks to look at him. Especially if he inserted himself into Will's recovery as much as possible, similar to how he did after Will collapsed after the whole Gideon incident. Really, if Hannibal succeeded at anything in Season 1, it was getting Will to trust and rely on him above anyone else.

Idk I've always imagined a world where Hannibal spent more time ingratiating and endearing himself to Will while simultaneously being a safe space for Will to admit to and indulge his darker desires. I think Will finding out Hannibal was the Copycat/Ripper in that instance would go a lot smoother. No matter how you slice it, Will's anger in the second season is definitely more about the betrayal and lies than Hannibal being a serial killer.

But, Hannibal wouldn't be Hannibal without the self-sabotage and need to sow chaos would he? What did Chiyoh say? "There are other means of influence but violence is what he understands."

[noyasaur]

hii! :D i have a thing i need to share with you about a method!!

Idk if this would work or if it makes sense, but let me try and explain it!

So, ever since i was a little kid i used to do roleplays kinda like with imaginary friends and acted out scenes from shows, or just from imagination! I still do that sometimes

I was wondering if that would work but as a shifting method? Like “roleplaying” (or however you want to say it) about my DR? Would that be something i could shift with? If so, could you please tell me how i can shift using that?

Have a good day! (i think i saw 1 of your posts saying u were going on a trip or vacation, if so have fun!!)

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hihi! :D yes, i do think you could use this technique to your advantage for shifting to your dr! or more specifically, using it to persist in your assumptions with the law of assumption.

in my opinion, i think you could use this method combined with the law of assumption! for example, if you decide you want to shift to a specific dr of yours, then create an assumption that you're already either there or you've already shifted, you could use this in two ways!

the first being whenever you're acting out situations from your dr, do it while holding that assumption in your mind that you already are in your dr. that everything you do in that moment is what you are experiencing in your dr. persisting in your assumption.

then afterwards, you can kinda think back and be like "oh, this happened in my dr," to further persist in your assumptions!

or, the second way i thought of (its more for daydreaming but oh well), but if you ever find yourself daydreaming about your dr, you can see it as something you've already experienced. like looking back on a memory or something you've already experienced.

or evennn if you ever catch yourself "roleplaying" situations from your dr, afterwards you could always write it/journal it down as a way for you to recount 'memories' as something you've already experienced in your dr (again, using the law of assumption!)

it could even be good to incorporate your emotions/feelings and other senses in these little "roleplay" techniques too!

then of course, when you go to shift or fall asleep and expect to wake up in your dr, you've been holding that assumption in your mind and persisting in the fact that you're either already in your dr or you've shifted, and since the law never fails, you can easily shift to your dr with the law of assumption.

you could also use this to your advantage as an awake method. you can sit down in a chair or lay down, and start talking and engaging your other senses in a certain situation in your dr. while doing this, obviously believe and assume that you're already in your dr. if you keep on persisting, you can become so immersed in your situation that you genuinely believe you're in your dr. then before you know it, you've shifted!

those are just some ways you can use it to your advantage to help you shift! although, always be careful with methods like these and definitely don't let it distract you from your life here and all!

although, i totally get you because i do the same!! i literally always talk to myself and use my imagine and act out scenes as if i'm already in my dr LOL

anyways, i hope this helped (and made some sense) and sparked some creativity! and thank you by the way, i'm back from vacation and i had so much fun :D

good luck on your shifting journey and have a wonderful day! <3

- saturn ♡

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

y'all, I'm so high rn, but I think I wanna write something in omegaverse. It would be my own twist on it, of course.

Imma put the thingy cause I got a little ramblelly

Bc I think like the trope itself could be so fun to examine through a world building aspect. Having a secondary sex, (or gender, that's something else I'll get into) is such an amazing thing in and of itself. There would be whole new ways to be transgender and/or queer.

So, would transgender people really be treated differently? When they have to be pretty common, like say statistically 30% of the population, at bare minimum.

But back to the sex thing. Like, assumably, you could still reproduce with your primary sex? So, theoretically, you could be the biological mother or father of your child. That means in a society like this, gender roles about parenthood could be virtually none existent.

And your secondary sex (I'm calling it a sex bc it aids in reproduction) is also sort of an assigned gender. Like, in fic, that I have read (bc sometimes when you got a rare pair, you gotta step outta your comfort zone) omegas are sort of looked down on, and alphas are looked up to. But what if you're born physically an alpha, but you feel like an omega? And is being alpha/omega rare? And aren't they sort of expected to go together? So what would people think of alpha/alpha pairings, or omega/omega? I imagine being beta is like, the equivalent of being cis het here, in terms of commonality.

And then there’s that scent thing. Apparently, it makes you very attractive to your...idk how to explain this gender split stuff rn, bc I'm like, so baked. Like how irl some people still think men/women are opposites, in omegaverse people think alpha/omega are. Attractive to your opposite sex/gender.

But like, if alphas are supposed to be this charismatic idol, then naturally, they make it to the top. But what if that scent thing also works on all people attracted to alphas?

And the omega scent thing is also supposed to be all sex and shit. But also like, protective? Like it gives you this urge to keep them safe or some bullshit? Bc they might be pregers. And it works on all people attracted to omegas.

And like there could be people omegas attracted to other omegas. But they might be able to get away with it if they're male/female bc that's always been the expected thing. (Bc obviously, if betas are in charge, they aren't going to think about the needs of alphas/omegas.)

(Though it could be entirely the other way around, with alpha/omegas being the norm, and betas being looked down on bc they only had one method to breed.)

See? There's so much you can do with it. But usually, all you see is the sex stuff. Which is cool if that's what you're looking for.

But I want a political intrigue type drama where the different genders play against conventional roles. And also there's a lot of smut.

But like the being in heat leaves you coherent enough to say yes or no. Or that their scent starts to smell bad as a self-defense mechanism. Oh, I like that, actually. But anyway, I don’t like dub-con like this. For like, personal reasons.

So there is a lot of smut. That is at least a little queer every once in awhile. But tbh that's just bc this gummy got me horny af. Except I'm also asexual af and the thought of myself in any sort sexual scenario makes me want to have a panic attack irl.

Anyway, you could write it as this gender equality utopia.

Or you could right it as the way it probably would be--humans always find a way to build culture, to make a society. Societies have rules to keep the status que. There will always be those who are by nature against that status que and will be seen as different or other.

Ok, I think I have accidentally done like, some of my world building here. That makes this a sacred post.

Wait shit. Am I actually going to do this? I don't really think I can. Unless I write it on my phone, bc the shitty ass laptop is too far away.

[secretly-sapphic-confessions]

Hello Aunt Sappho! I have 3 questions that I'm hoping you can answer... 1:How do I hint out to someone Im a lesbian/love women/want to be stepped on by a women? 2:How do I ask, but then at the same time not ask is someone is a lesbian (or is also attracted to women)? (Like I dont want to directly ask someone if they like women, I want to hint out that im tryna ask if they like women) 3: Are there some sort of...idk like some sort of signs that someones tryna hint out that they like women??? I go to a religious school (they dont except people of the lgbtqia+) and I want to try and figure out if there are girls who are also like me, a person who is very closeted yet very gay and in love. Thank you!

Hello there my esteemed Anon!

OOoOooh questions, I love questions, I’ll do my best!

Thankfully, I’m very lucky and live in an area that isn’t particularly religious where my peers are very accepting, so I’m not very experienced with being discreetly gay, but I’ll try my best to put myself in your shoes and hopefully I can help!

1: This is always a hard one as some people are more oblivious than others (me) and some are just begging for that hint (also me). If you want to hint and not make it directly obvious, wearing subtle pride colours or rainbow accessories is always a confidence boost and a great push for those that are looking! For example, back when I was a baby gay, I would wear a rainbow loom band bracelet ✌︎('ω')✌︎. That allows people that are looking for hints to catch on, and if anyone you don’t want to know about your sexuality asks questions, you can say it’s just because you like rainbows or colourful things! If you’d like to try something else, talking about LGBT+ celebrities or media can hint things to the right people too! I don’t know if you know about or watch The Owl House but if you’ve seen that I’m sorry but there’s no way in hell you’re straight. Sorry I don’t make the rules. The LGBT+ always flock to the same media and interests usually! You could even say that *insert gay celeb crush here* is hot, but whether that’s because you’re gay or because you want to be them is up for your interpretation (^_-) ! It’s all about getting creative!

2: For matters like this, it’s paramount to remember to remain respectful and mindful that other people may not wish to comment on their sexuality if you suspect they’re a little fruity too, especially if you’re in an unaccepting place. I would be careful as you don’t want to accidentally force coming out onto someone, even if you have good intentions with this information. However, I can think of a few easy none intrusive methods! Similar to the answer to your first question, If you’re comfortable with it, you could strike up conversation on the topic of characters or people etc you find attractive (of the same gender obviously haha) and ask their opinion! This gives them the opportunity to agree or disagree if they so wish to comment. Also, asking what they think about lesbians or just the LGBT+ in general can give a few hints. I would say on the whole though, if you want to know if someone is gay or not, in my opinion the best way is for it to come from you first! Create a safe friendship and space for them, it’ll be easier if they know that you bend that way first, but don’t endanger yourself! If you give hints first, they’re likely to follow suit if they’re ready.

3: I wouldn’t say that there are any set signs or explicit ways of hinting that you’re gay other than the obvious, so all I can say is stay intuitive and trust your gut! Please be safe though, I’m always so worried about my wlw friends In not so accepting places _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Man, being gay is hard sometimes. I hope you can locate the rest of the pack!! <3

In my hilarious experience though, everyone LGBT+ seem to have a weird magnetism to each other, so the other wlws are most likely close by!

My best wishes for you going forward! I hope you have a great day/night 🌈

~ Sappho

[bad4amficideas]

Bat! Reader Fight related HCs

Note: English is not my language, so I hope you will be understanding of any flaws you find.

🦇In any one-on-one Batfam fight, technically both 0Y! 1T8! could beat you (but they will leave regretting it). If you always beat those of 1T8 it is because you know them very well. And you plays dirty. All's fair in love and war. By the same rule of thumb you can actually catch the originals Dick, Jason and Damian off guard (I bet Tim wouldn't show up until you'd faced any of the above, so, he figured out the cake but maybe you could take him by surprise too idk)

🦇In training with 0Y!, your specialty is to extend training for sheer endurance until someone decides it's time for the next match.

🦇You've been trained by Alfred, private tutors, and the LoA (which includes Cain and Lady Shiva, because I say so and so was Bruce). Under one precept: literally anything goes in the war for survival. The people who face you in a life to death battle fear and respect you, not like a bear, but like a Weaponized Raged Trained Zombie Wolverine (all of that). If the mutant or the animal, you can choose it yourself.

🦇Fortunately, you're never really going (with the intention, that is) to kill. Or do you need "to deploy the creature that lurks in the night of your soul" (Jason's words). But yes, unlike Batman, more like Cassandra and especially Jason, you are a weapon, and you embrace it because weapon ≠ lethal (you cook with knives, a bo is primary not lethal)

🦇But if there is something in which you Reader surpasses everyone -although you are the one who always wears a mask with a filter (you have to keep up appearances)-: resistance to poisons and toxins. You've been swallowing crap of the most dubious origins ever since the Waynes died. This includes and is not limited to: metered amounts of Joker blood, Scarecrow drugs, and Ivy spores. Whenever you finish a mission, you sample, filter or dilute, and administer it yourself (with due supervision from Alfred and unbeknownst to the rest of the family). Not to mention everything that must be floating in the air, earth and water of Gotham and what you have sampled and also administered to seasons.

🦇It doesn't matter how much or how little Reader is a fan of superheroes and DC.  There is popular culture and two known facts of them say that breathing in Gotham is dangerous and that apparently people can become Jokers or some shit like that (creepy smile at least), who btw is the most dangerous enemy from Batman. Bats ain't having that shit dead. Like, personal nightmare along with being captured by him.

🦇The only reason Alfred went along with you when you suggested poison yourseld as a child is because you put on a very passionate -hysterical- scene for him about how his other option was to put you in a mental hospital (where you would obviously steal drugs) because a PTDS that you didn't have (and he knew you would do said scene again in public without hesitation and no way he would lose your custody even temporary)... or having to count the seeds of all the fruits and pills in the house from that time on forth, which btw was a creepy knowledge for a child to know (also, you may have threatened to lick random bars on the property too)

🦇Bats also has their moments behind everyone's back, thinking of quick suicide methods, since the substances are ruled out. And cursing the juggling Alfred has to do to get them pain relief. You have seriously considered talking to the various aliens stationed on Earth. [Not that you're that desperate, but our Bats consider all possibilities (including apparently whoever should be in their place from an alternate reality showing up in their world asking for help)].

🦇If in the end you're good at being Bats it's because you run for your life to save yourself from all of the above (the motivation that Bruce doesn't seem to care about) but your luck modifier helps you do the job, and because you're "slightly" more violent than Batman.

🦇 And because live today to fight tomorrow because it will always be needed someone to fight tomorrow. And common sense is really uncommon in heroes. Sadly, someone has to provide. Seriously, most of your protégés don't seem to understand that wearing bulletproof armor—which wasn't even magic, it was tactical damn it—doesn't mean you should go straight at people with guns at you. Even the versions of Wonder Woman that ARE bulletproof uses the fucking armbands, damnit. No wonder "The Art of War" was such a best-selling book. People are idiots *concerned parent noises*

🦇 It's very ironic, so much respect and fear that the Joker's madness inspired you (you could reason with everyone else) and the mother of the beatings you gave him. A before and after for Gotham City. So on the Villains decided that maybe your little birds weren't the biggest danger after all, just the most obvious. And you were reasonable and understood them on some level. The robins didn't pass them one.

🦇 Most of Gotham's villains are careful who they make alliances with outside of their city (most of Flash's villains are accepted for example, quite the opposite with Superman's). Who knows who stains their reputation with Bats. Btw others, Professor Pyg for example, didn't even got a career in this Gotham as a villain because Bats didn't allow so.

🦇Gotham was in your eyes a bioma in precarious balance, the Batfam maintained order in general, the costumed villains maintained a certain order the middle villains together with the police. You took one, and you always feared that the tower of Jenga went to hell.

🦇The most gloomy thing about you is that you always maintain a cold, monotonous, a bit severe tone of voice. You didn't use the raspy Batman voice even though yours was slightly technologically distorted for safety, but you always sounded like nothing, absolutely nothing really mattered. Such apathy. The world is ending and you don't care.

🦇Not that you weren't afraid. You were legitimately terrified specially at first of your career (You could feed a yellow ring just with your fear rhwn was more like "I'm the ruler od the world, fight me!!") But it was like a well-trained defensive reaction, you store everything for later, everything and you live and analyze everything super sharp in the moment, thanks to the adrenaline you may or may not be addicted to. Then after that sometimes you have anxiety attacks, or you cry or you laugh hysterically, or you faint, depending on how you are. Other times you would have a drink of your choice, look at nothing in a wall, and like, meh, another calendar day.

🦇At first was scary but now hanging from walls/building to building is great, you have once thought about what a shame not do be able of use Spiderman's web (because an investigation revealed that something that adhered to the Gotham walls in particular and then go away like spiderman fluids could be difficult to create, maybe in Metropolis or Star City though). It's also more difficult than it seems, you have to calculate wind, height and more things. But its great. You did a lot of pull and girl bars to practice sustaining your own weight in the air.

🦇For the record, Alfred was very strict in your training. As you would be with your robins. Starting extreme physical training as a youngster takes its toll on the body (let's just say it would make more sense for all robins to look like a drawf but even more bulky than Jason and never like Jason or Dick or Bruce). So you had an intense but balanced training, dedicated to developing more energy and stamina that you would need in the future and, at first, important details (and by default your favourites) such as costumes, weapons, investigation, escapism, languages ​​(me:uggg) and occultism (you don't understand why Batman hates magic, really, even though your body tells you it's not your affinity, you apending a lot of energy on simple things, so yes is difficult for you... Not that as you're not a paranoid shit and actually use the spell to see supernatural things at random times just for the sake of it, so you're creating your magic reserve)

🦇Generally you were saying "the robin" to refer to the whole family, but you had this thing, that according to your tone of voice communication, you said "Bat" and they immediately know if you meant Cass, Steph, Barbs, Kate or Conner (every one of them loved when they were the so-called Bat and insisted that they should be your bats, batlings? not your robins, for numerical majority, although Steph was both). Billy was the referee.

🦇Throwing things, throwing, throwing, throwing things, over and over and over, and picking things up and over and over and over again until you've automated both gestures.

🦇Your collection of things gained from the Rogues gallery is much more eclectic and not just from your rogues. It's your otherworldly fan side showing, but ssssssh. You have many important things on paper or physical, today people believe that everything important is in the computer and it is not.

🦇You did NOT have Jason's suit on display, like, thats sick! although yes, you had it stored in a place where you could touch it and cry (among some of his other things). Because (the most voted theory currently) is that masochistic tendencies run through the partially haunted house and only Alfred is immune (but, you know, if that were true he doesn't let his child run to fight crazy people dressed like a furry but instead would give them Jason's AK-47 so...)

🦇You has told the robins to be very careful with other people's property or to take note of the damages to pay for them, that people live on those things and sentimental value cannot be paid

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[dodo-begone]

Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

Pairing: Yan!Xisuma x Reader (idk if it's rlly yan tbh)

Request: If you’re up to it can I get yandere nHo hcs? Bc I’m desperate for nHo content, But if you don’t know enough about the nHo boys can you do a continuation of your yandere xisuma fic? bc it was really good👀

Word count: 5k words

Warning: Falling, Depression, Death, Yandere (?)(just a bit posessive/protective at the end), Bit of confusion/memory loss, Mention of Running Away

This is a Part 2 to Ugly Fuckling

If this EVER looks funky or glitched, here's a link to it on Ao3.

_______________________________________________________

A methodical ticking echoes around the room, the only indicator that time was passing. The room was nearly a blinding black, yet a ray of moonlight made its way into the room. From that, you were able to see Xisuma. Without his helmet covering his face, he looked much more welcoming and soft. It wasn’t like he wasn’t soft and welcoming anyways, he just looked so much softer and approachable. A real person - man what were you even thinking?

Mentally shaking off that train of thought, you let your mind wander onto a different topic. Since Xisuma stopped you from following through with your impulsive decision to leave, he hadn’t exactly let you out of his sight. A few of your activities were free from his supervision, but otherwise you were with him.

At first you felt like an absolute bother to him, but his insistence that it was all fine made things better. Minimally better, if you were to speak honestly. It didn’t alleviate your feelings at all. He was being so nice and attentive to you and your needs. And what were you doing with that? You were being the little debbie downer that you are and not getting better. Come on, this was all for you. That meant you had to get better for him since he was putting so much effort into making you get better.

He made you all of your favorite foods, cuddled you any time even a tear fell from your eyes, asked about what was worrying or saddening you and trying to talk you through it to feel better, and so much more. All around it was everything you needed, really it was. Everything was getting better, yet you weren’t.

This had been going on for days, and you were still thinking of leaving. Though technically you did. Maybe the entire server moved with you. Maybe that fact could be ignored. Maybe. Everyone gathered up and went to a new server not too long after your most recent “escape” attempt. You weren’t sure if it was the unsaid yearly move to a new season or what, but it seemed a little too convenient if you thought about it. But thinking was a laborious and bothersome task. So no thoughts - only depression. Yea, that’s how things rolled for you.

The thought of leaving was far from leaving your mind. It was always on the backburner, but became a prominent thought whenever you weren’t with anybody. Especially Xisuma. Voices whispered to feed your insecurities, giving a source for your depression to grow off of. And boy was it growing. Adding in this new move made you question a bit more.

You knew you wanted to leave the server because of how icky, disgusting and disappointing you were, but now you were truly realizing where the issue lay. Wel, you knew before, but it just became more evident. It wasn’t the server itself. The issue lay between you and the hermits. So that feeling of not belonging? Still rather prominent. Even with their fresh new start where everyone had the same resources, said “resources” were nonexistent since everyone started with nothing, it was rather evident you still didn’t belong.

Grian was the only one who didn’t build a “starter house” immediately. That made two hermits you knew who didn’t make a starter house. The two hermits being you and Grian, so that made you feel better. Until you found out the reason he didn’t make a house was because he went to defeat the Ender Dragon and get loot from end cities. Yea that really didn’t make you feel better. And these “starter” builds the others made were no joke. They weren’t even starters, in your opinion. These were whole builds in and of themselves. Like things you’d be building late game, if you even got around to making anything that could compare.

Once again, your mind cemented that you were very alien to this group. Alongside the “new fodder” that you had, which was really recycled thoughts, memories, or insecurities, you started to cry. Stifling your sobs without being able to cover your mouth with your hands is a very hard task. All remaining strength you had went into calming your breath and being as silent as possible. You still allowed the tears to continue their route down your cheeks with no intent to stop them. If you only allow tears to flow with no noise, you can get your emotions out while not bothering Xisuma. A win-win.

Time was illusive, slipping through your hands like sand. One moment you were crying next to Xisuma in bed then a blink later you were waking up in an empty bed. The ever annoying sun was flaunting its energy and jovial beams into the room and blinding you with it. Man, how you envied the sun. It was able to get up every day and do its duty. And not even the duty it was exactly made for. One that it conveniently worked with. A necessity to life.

Still, you layed in bed. Too lethargic to move on your own; there was no will or energy to move. Well, there was one reason; you wanted to search for Xisuma. Where could he have gone off to? He wasn’t in the bed. Somewhere else in the house? Out on a project? Who knows. The likelihood of him being gone was high and that, along with the thoughts, kept you in the bed.

The day passed. Maybe you slept. You were still very tired and very sad, so it really made no difference in the end if you did actually sleep sometime that day since nothing changed. Snuggling into the blankets for warmth and comfort, you awaited for Xisuma’s return. Though you don’t remember him saying that he was going anywhere in particular yesterday. Did he? Memories blurred together and multiple days became one mushed memory. Many memories of him mentioning future projects to you or other things came to mind. How recent were those? Mulling over your memories, you tried to pinpoint when they happened based on some other memories. You referred to them as your “time reference memories”... They had a different name, but the name eludes you. But that was their purpose, so that name shall stay.

Soon a plethora of other memories came to mind as you quickly sorted through them. So they obviously didn’t take place in the same time area-frame thingy as when you joined the Hermitcraft server. That was months ago- clearly off the table. Then did they happen around the time you were building the trash on the server? Also a big no- that’s way too early. Oh dear- all the memories that were popping up were far too early. Crap- think. Think, think, think. Come on, more recent. What about when you tried to leave? Well it happened after that, but much closer.

A flash of memories pass behind your eyes yet you can’t decipher all of them. It was obviously some memories and you could faintly see some things, but it was all a blur of colors. You didn’t have the time for this right now. After you figure this out, you could reminisce on them. Now you had to figure out which memory out of the blob you had was most recent-

Staring at the ceiling did nothing to help. No new spark of memories came up, even with your mind scrambling for any scrap it could get its little grubby hands on. Great- now you were stuck going off of his appearance and what the house looked like during those times. Now the dilemma was “which came first”. Almost every memory took place in the house.

Wait! He didn’t have the diamond armor in all of them! Only two of them had diamond armor involved. Specifically on Xisuma. You didn’t have anything on this new server. Well, compared to him or any other hermit, anyways. To say you were behind or “lagging” was an understatement. Having iron armour isn’t really a flex. Especially when it goes missing. Like who just up and loses armor like that? You do, apparently.

That isn’t the point. Stay focused! So he had armor, what did the house look like? Or anything outside the window?

Finally a lightbulb went off in your mind. Of course! He talked about a fire last time. Yes, you were sure of you. Not sure why but you were very sure of that fact. He mentioned that some gravel on a mountain was on fire and he wasn’t sure why. Then he talked about a building in the next memory… Everything was starting to add up! Oh you felt so smart right now. So good.

So what mountain did he say he was going to? It was a villager hall, right? Or was it the future place for a build… No, villager hall because he mentioned villagers and trading. Obviously not another build. But what if it was? Now you were conflicted because you were so sure but at the same time doubt pranced around your mind obnoxiously. Your anxiety was getting ticked off more.

First the disappearance of Xisuma and now your worries are getting to you? Really, it was the opposite order. More of an Oreo, but that wasn’t important.

Taking a deep breath, you try to get your thoughts under control again. Regain you cool. Alright. If you find Xisuma then you can calm everything else down. That was your biggest worry right now. The longer you didn’t know Xisuma’s location and condition, the worse your mental state became. From there, it was obvious how everything would decline.

All you had to do was go to Xisuma. Right. Go to Xisuma. Who is outside. Out of the bed. Debating on whether or not to leave the comforting confines of the blankets or search for Xisuama was definitely something. It was hard but also wasn’t all at the same time. Because yes, staying in bed and being warm would be amazing. The preferred option. But you were worried about the lack of Xisuma’s presence. That took precedence over comfort.

Grumbling, you slowly start to drag yourself out of bed. More accurately rolling out and only turning to properly get out of bed and onto your feet. Same end result really. Slowly, as to not cause a dizzy spell, you get up and walk toward the door. Said dizzy spell still hits you like a baseball gets hit by a bat, but there was an attempt. Black overtakes your vision for a second before everything goes back to normal. Boy you didn’t miss those pounding headaches with dizzy spells. Damn vertigo.

Shaking your head, you steady yourself for the journey to the outside. It was going to be perilous. Well not really, but your mind tried to come up with the worse case scenarios. Like some Dream SMP members coming for you to drag you back. Or pillagers near or at the front door. Or some other nasty mob. Oh the possibilities were nearly endless. But you had to do this.

Hyping yourself up, you mentally prepare for what you could think of. Aka prepare for something bad like pain. To be fair, pain would be better than a Dream SMP member but pain still hurts.

A noise of annoyance leaves your lips as you once again try to get yourself back on track. You hated how easily distracted you got sometimes. Though it did help in some situations. Admitting to that wouldn’t be too helpful in any regard so back to ignoring it you go.

Soon you’re back on track and continuing your journey. The only thing standing between you and the outside world stared at you. The front door. It wouldn’t be for long. All you had to do was open it and then start the other leg of your journey and- wait.

The door greeted your face with a nice hearty slam as you walked right into it. Confusion was just written all over your face. You grabbed the knob, did you not? Taking a step back, you peer down. Low and behold, you were holding the door knob. Your brows furrowed as you twisted the knob. Nothing happened. Trying with more strength and vigor or whatever might do something? Maybe it’s just stuck. Unlikely but hey! Delusions are much sweeter and easier to swallow. Plus being more violent with an inanimate object makes it work! Usually, anyways. Beat a banana and you get mush so not always. That’s besides the point because the darn door still refused to open. Huffing, you try being a little harder with the door. Though that leads to nothing but you fearing it breaking. One creak escapes the poor door and you’re off of it like a puppy squealed rather than a door.

Anxiety started to bloom in your chest for the uptenth time or whatever. It’s happened a lot and that’s all that matters. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. It’s just a door. If it breaks it can be replaced. Also it’s a door. It’s probably fine. Though you didn’t exactly want to test that. Who knows when the door is going to just say “nope! I’m done” and just break?

Leaning against the door, you slide to the floor as you think of another plan to leave. The door was locked, right? This is a brand new door we’re talking about. Rust couldn’t have shut it already, right? You were by the sea though so who knew what the salt and water was doing to it. That ruins doors, wood, and mentals, right? If only you were a builder or someone more fluent with stuff like this. Someone who knew how stuff like that worked. Because wow, you were beyond dumb on that subject.

You curl up in defeat. Bringing your knees to your face, you wrap your arms around them to secure them. To feel safer and smaller. Block out the world. All you wanted to do was stay there, just like that. Not that exact position, but you want to feel comforted and safe. A craving for belonging and love. Although something you craved, whenever it was just handed to you or offered, you turned it down. Nobody actually likes you. They just want to use you.

Everyone has used you in the past for something.

Tears started to form in your eyes. As you lift your head from the curl, you take a deep breath. This is annoying, tiring. Crying is useless right now. Nothing is going to be fixed this way.

As you subdued the tears, you looked around the house again. There had to be another exit, right? Maybe. Half of the houses you’ve lived in only had one entrance or exit. The other half either had a secret exit or another doorway. This wasn’t one of the latter, though. It was one of the former; you were only informed of one way to exit or enter the house. Xisuma didn’t mention any emergency escape. Well there weren’t any holes in the house besides that- OH WAIT!

Smacking your forehead, you scramble to your feet and look directly at the closest window. If it had the ability to, it’d probably be sweating out of fear or anxiety. Either or, that window wasn’t going to have a good time. Fortunately for you, though, the window couldn’t judge you. And the window is very easy to climb out of.

Walking closer for inspection, it didn’t seem like it’d be too hard to open. Just flick a latch or two and just lift the bottom. You’re home free after that. The latches weren’t an issue. Grabbing the bottom of the glass, you silently pray that it won’t be as stubborn as the door.

Some deity was feeling nice today because the window opened without much trouble. A little elbow grease but that was a small price to pay. Now started the awkward maneuvering to get outside. This was one thing you didn’t miss from your past.

First a leg, then the other, and slide later, you land ungraceful into the outside world. Either you were going to land on your face or bum and you didn’t want any of that. So instead you did a nice little dance.

Okay so dance would be the fun way of stating it. What happened was you stumbled around for a bit, waving your arms around in a desperate attempt to regain balance. But you get to stay on your feet, so the trade off of your dignity was well worth it. Plus nobody was around to see it.

Once balanced, you were in awe of the builds that were just a wall away. How much has changed since you last came out? How long were you inside? You only remember the comically tall portal and the partial build of the portal tower being around when you came. Besides the starting house and a few other small things, of course. But now there were two completed towers. The dark one was obviously the portal tower because of the color scheme. What was the other than? It was colored like a lighthouse with the red and white bands encompassing it, but you didn’t want to say anything definitely. After all, it was somewhat hard to tell.

The coloration indicated a lighthouse, along with the silhouette, but it looked a bit too artistically done. And when something is artistically done, it could be anything. So you’ll call it tower two! Tower two was rather pretty!

Xisuma wasn’t around though. Right. The mountain wasn't around here, was it? Where was it, anyways? It must’ve been pretty far away.

With the prospects of a long walk ahead of you, your shoulders slump. Dear lord, this was more work than you wanted to go through. Who knows how far it is! But it wasn’t just some walking for fun, it had a purpose.

Gathering your remaining energy and grit, you start the laborious, long, and treacherous journey through the continent for Xisuma. Hiking wasn’t your strong suit and keeping an eye out for Xisuma too? This makes everything so much harder.

You were only able to get off the island and back onto the mainland, where you started to scale the mountain before you heard a ruckus. Progressively, it got louder and more discernible. Yelling. Sounded like words. Gibberish, but it slowly grew clearer.

“Oh my gosh,” danced with the wind by your ears. “Oh no.” A cry of your name, or something really similar. Were those words? Those couldn’t be words, right? Whipping your head around, you see Xisuma running your way frantically. Okay, so those were most definitely words if the scene before you proved anything.

Excited, you start your descent back to the ground. Step by step. Is it step by step when you’re climbing? Your focus is on Xisuma. Pretty much entirely. It really shouldn’t have as you misjudge the next step. In the blink of an eye you went from viewing rock to viewing sky and a scary feeling building in your chest. The feeling grew exponentially and it didn’t take a genius to know what was going on.

A scream ripped its way from your chest as it tightened more. Said scream doesn’t last long for it ended as quickly as it came. No air could move, no noise could come out any more. Air was stuck in your throat, unable to reach your lungs. Fear paralyzed your muscles, eyes shut for there was no difference in the view. Everything was blurred and the black was more welcoming and comforting.

Too fast. Time wasn’t even a consideration. A social construct thrown out the window as soon as your fingers lose contact with the rocks.

The ground had to be near by now. It felt like hours passed now, but at the same time everything seemed to be zipping by.

Contact is made, and you expect it to be the end. You grunt as all remaining air is forced from your body. Another noise came from beneath you. Gasping for air, panic made you feel so cold. Is this what death felt like? No air was coming in and you definitely hit the ground. Were you going to die because you slipped up?

Black was encompassing your vision once again. Frantic attempts to regain air were barely rewarded for your lungs remained mostly empty. Everything still felt paralized, but now your chest felt worse. It hurt so much.

Something was moving beneath you. Pink entered your failing vision. It shifted you around, moving your head and body. More accurately, it moved. Your head was placed on a soft surface while your body was on something else.

Slowly your vision ebbed back to reality. Or you did. Everything still felt wonky. But an axolotl helmet came to greet you. That was a nice thing about your vision clearing, you guessed. Pretty pink axolotl.

“Are you okay,” the axolotl shakily asks. It’s hands were shaking and it sounded masculine.

“Yea,” your voice felt and sounded weird. Very airy, frail, and kinda delirious. You know, the “I don't feel right” type of delirious. Is that delirious? Oh wait you were talking! “Yea i’m good.”

“Are you sure,” the axolotl keeps persisting. It seemed to be looking over you for any injuries. How nice of it! “Double sure? Triple sure? No scrapes? Nothing hurts?”

“I’m absolutely sure,” you assure. Man this was a comfy place and you wanted to stay here longer, but you need to get standing. With shaky arms and legs, you unsteadily get up, stumbling or leaning a bit too much at times. The axolotl panics and helps you to your feet, never letting go afterwards. You thank it for its help and try to walk away, back to Xisuma’s house. Though it assists you, staying by your side as if it were attached with cement.

“You need to stop doing stuff like this,” it begs, leading you by the elbow. “It’s like everytime i’m gone, you purposely go get yourself into trouble, get hurt, or try to leave. I don’t get it. Why do you keep doing it?”

To say you were confused would be an understatement. What’s it even talking about?

Suddenly a thought hits you like lighting and everything starts to line up. This is literally Xisuma. How did you forget that? He changes skins with every new season. Wow you either hit your head, panicked and forgot every important detail ever, or you really needed the oxygen for those brain cells because they finally got what they needed to function.

“Sorry,” you really are sorry. For half of those things, if not almost all of them. If you were simply allowed to go back to the Dream smp in peace, you would be completely fine. Not a bother to the hermits, not a walking hazard to society, and you wouldn’t feel inadequate anymore… Actually that wouldn’t go away no matter where you went or what you did. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

Xisuma doesn’t reply to your words and you start to panic again. “You weren’t in the house and I got really anxious, okay? I didn’t remember where you said you were going and I just… I needed a hug. I know that sounds stupid or childish, but i wasn’t feeling good. And you said that if I needed something, I'd just have to go to you. Oh who am i kidding, this was the dumbest thing ever. I’m so so sorry for bothering you-” Tears started to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision entirely. You were thankful that you weren’t walking alone while like this. Who knew what else you’d get yourself hurt on.

Not only were your words stopped, but your whole body was too. Jerked back by Xisuma, your teary eyes look directly at his visor which only reflects back your pitiful face. Though you don’t see it for long as you’re pulled into a hug by Xisuma. This only causes you to cry harder.

“Hey hey hey,” Xisuma’s voice is a low murmur, a comforting rumble from his chest. “It’s okay. It’s alright. Did I not tell you where I was going before I left?”

Shaking your head, a tiny “no” escapes you between sobs. Xisuma just hugs you tighter and you snuggle closer. That’s if you can, but you still try.

“Oh i’m so sorry,” he starts to pat and rub your back in a comforting manner, repeatedly apologizing for forgetting to tell you. And other things. Though you can’t exactly tell what they are through your sobbing.

It takes ages for you to calm down. You don’t really have much to go off of, besides the sun. What was once a noon sun glaring down on you was a peaceful sunset over the ocean. When you finish crying, only shaky breaths and tear stains remain to show off the previous crying fit. That and the red eyes.

The sunset is pretty, so you focus on that. Positioning your face to not have it smooshed into Xisuma’s chestplate was a struggle since he was holding you so tightly. But you managed. Soon your face wasn’t full on smooshed into his chest plate, only the side. Your cheek was definitely doing that pancake thing which smooshes out like a flat tire.

Everything’s so peaceful and quiet. Only the waves and sea life disturb it, but it made a great background noise. Xisuma soon adds to everything with some light humming. Rumbling from the chest is so comforting. Why was it such a forgettable yet amazing thing? It felt so nice.

With the humming came some rocking. Going side to side, humming a nonsensical tune. Not long after, you join in as well. Yours was definitely less consistently though, for it was broken up but little giggles. The longer you two went on, the more you giggled.

His arms unwrap themselves and you feel disappointed and saddened by the loss. You needn’t wait for long though, as on both sides of your body, you suddenly feel a tingly sensation. Bursting out into laughter, you try to struggle away from the tickle attack Xisuma has launched on you. But he’s relentless, keeping up with your retreat. It’s only when you’re out of breath, on the ground, and playfully yelling your surrender at him, that he stops.

You two start to calm down again. Laughter slowly ebbed away to chuckles or silence. Not an uncomfortable or awkward silence by any means. A safe and comforting one.

“Come on,” Xisuma prompts, getting up from the crouched position he had to be in for his attack, giving out his hand when he was properly on his feet. “Let’s get home before mobs start to spawn.” You’re more than happy to take his hands. With a pull, you’re brought back to your feet. But you two don’t let go of each other’s hands.

Together you two finish the trek home, and rather quickly too. With the sun setting, it was just a matter of minutes before danger would appear. Luckily you two made it to safety without any issues. The beginning area Xisuma had set up was well lit, safe from the dark and the dangers it harbors.

Being back in the base area made you feel more at peace, calmer, less endangered. Whatever you wanted to say, but you felt safer. And everything looked so pretty at night! You really need to come out more with Xisuma. Staring in awe at the builds in a different light, you and Xisuma dawdle on home.

Everything was perfect again. Just like before. You were happy, Xisuma was happy, what else could you need.

Xisuma walks ahead of you to unlock the front door, to which you say a little “thank you” out of habit and slip on by him and into the house. You do mean it, but still, it’s a habit drilled into you.

After getting back into the house, with some idle chit-chat, you start to get things fixed up in the house. Some dinner was in order for the two of you. After all, you just tried to climb a mountain to find Xisuma and who knows if Xisuma actually ate today. Plus you haven't had anything to eat yet. Whoops.

Leaving Xisuma to his own devices, you continue your conversation as you prepare a meal.

You don’t notice him locking the door and windows, or the dark look he has when he sees the window open, or him putting the keys in his pocket after locking all of the other windows. When he doesn’t reply immediately, though, you turn toward the last direction you heard him from, only to reveal an empty house. Perplexed, you look around a bit, but are stopped by a tap on your shoulder.

Jumping, you whirl around to see Xisuma without his helmet on, chuckling at your reaction. Laughing along with him, you give him a nudge with your hip. He returns it, laughing harder when you’re bumped away from him. This goes on for a while as you cook dinner, with Xisuma helping you.

The night goes on like this. Full of gentle, playful antics and a loving atmosphere. The love you felt was immense. You hadn’t felt happier in months.

Xisuma hasn’t been so scared in months either.

He should’ve secured the house better. Made sure you were fine before he left. Locked the windows before he left.

Now he knows to lock windows. You’d try to use them in the future. Better a situation where you went looking for him than you leaving him. But now he knew.

And all was good again.

[pinkbunnygirlwattpad]

I’ve been writing a fanfiction based off this image for DBD Ghostface and I think it’s going pretty well. I still have to write the rest of it, reread it and edit it but it’s going pretty well. I think I might be half way through it but idk depends. Underneath is about a third of what I have so far.

Warning: Stalking, Danny being a pervert, murder(?), mentions of sex, other things

Summary: Reader is a closeted age-regressor but Danny is nosy so he’ll know

Daddy’s Little Girl

Danny had been stalking you for a while, much longer than any of his other victim but that was because you were special. He had seen you whilst he was at some house party with cheap liquor and horny idiots practically fucking on the walls and floor, he bitterly thought that it was more like an orgy than the drinking fest the host wanted it to be. Your friend had dragged you to the piss poor excuse for a party and one look into those round, doe eyes had given him the feeling he had when he saw someone he knew had to be one of his victims. He examined you closer while you were there and saw how your whole being exuded purity, from the way your hair looked so soft and the way your skin looked like a blanket made of silk. It was your face that really made him want you, though. Your lips were parted slightly, and you had slightly chubby cheeks, giving them a squishy, bouncy texture that made you look more like a child. But what made him really hooked was the innocent gleam in your eyes when you looked around the room.

 He followed you throughout the night and it made him much more excited about what he was going to do to you when he saw the oblivious state you were in with every guy who flirted with you. It would be so easy to trick you, unlike his previous victims who would have never been interested in some reported with a heart of gold, you would immediately fall for that shtick. He wanted to have sex for the pure gratification of corrupting you. Clinging to your friend all night had made it hard to get close to you but no matter, not when he could stalk you, find out your interests and then sweep you off your feet.

 It had not been hard to find out about you, it is what he does best. You were too busy worrying over your friend to notice a mysterious figure behind you. Danny even had fun of being obvious about it, but you didn’t notice a thing, a kind of obviousness that was hard to find in Roseville where all the people were cut-throat due to the high population of rich people in the area and harsh jobs that were specialised in that area. Your friend wouldn’t help either due to their pathetic drunken state. Thinking in this direction was getting Danny worked up and would leave him with a boner if he were not careful.

 After some time and a quick walk down a path in the nearby woods, you were home in your cottage with a white-picketed fence, beautiful flowers of all colours blooming in the front and some along the stone path leading to the back. The fences seemed to be more for décor reasons than serving an actual purpose since Danny knew that this particular land was quite spacious. You lead your friend inside and, from the window in the front, Danny observed you catering to your very drunk friend. He noted that the inside of the house were pastels and had lots of fantasy, fairy, cottagecore and light academia vibes. He did have to admit, even though he didn’t care for interior design aside from to keep up appearances, he appreciated something so beautiful like that.

 Now knowing where you live and marking it down in his black, pleather (he may kill people, but he wasn’t so heartless!) journal, he left for the night to get some rest. This was the first time in awhile he felt this excited for killing! Don’t get him wrong, killing was fun but it got monotonous to kill the same types of people over and over again. It was exciting to spicy his routine up a bit.

 Danny had been stalking you for 3 weeks and 4 days. He had taken pictures of you throughout that time, at your job, with your friends, when your alone and even in the shower! He did feel guilty about it for a few seconds before he decided that he was entitled to see your body if you had bad security in the first place that allowed people like him to get in. During the duration of this time, he had begun to psychoanalyse you and what your behaviour means, how your body language was an indication of your emotions and built a profile for you within his mind palace (it was easy with his photographic memory). You were so wholesome most of the time, whereas you did occasionally participate in conversations of kins, for the majority, you didn’t want to talk about sex or anything that came anywhere close. Something he also observed was that you had a tendency to not talk in ‘big words’ a lot of the time and he could list so much more that you did but that would be ranting. You bought many plushies, colouring books and ready-made snacks like chicken/tofu nuggets and yoghurt pots, stuff traditionally children liked. Although it made sense seeing how you were the go-to babysitter for the majority of your co-workers and friends, as well as distant neighbours and relatives. Plus, who didn’t enjoy hugging or collecting plushies? And Danny himself was a big fan of ready-made meals due to the time consumed by his work and ‘hobby’.

 Packages were often delivered to your house, at least from what he had seen but maybe it was a wave of them at once, like a spree shopper may do. The thing that intrigued him most to the contents of those deliveries was the way you were very protective over them, not letting anyone see even though you thought you had nothing to worry about. It made him want to know what you might be doing with them or what was in them. For all he knew, it could be something from the dark web, something disgusting and vile that would make you a devil in angel form. Entertaining this idea made him more desperate to find out what it was. And he would.

 He had snuck into your house after you had gone to work so he knew he had a long time before you came home. Once he was inside after going through your unlocked window, (what a forgetful, little thing) he saw a pile of discarded clothes. Approaching the crumpled garments, he picked up a shirt and smelled it. Yep, it was dirty laundry. It sent a shiver of excitement up Danny’s spine from excitement. Oh, what a naughty bunny you were, leaving him such a tantalizing gift. If he didn’t know better, it would seem like you were hoping to rile him up. During this stalking periods as he called it, you became dissimilar to his previous victims who pull a dark desire straight from the depths of his heart where his sick fantasies were locked from the world, you made him want something different than what he already experienced with them. He thought that it could be a new way to kill you, one only for you and designed to be the perfect art form in which to send you off to the afterlife. Of course, he was beginning to realise it was different to this. But back to why he was there.

 Looking around, he spotted one of the boxes that had been opened on your bed with objects seemingly thrown haphazardly into it. He nearly ran up to it he was so exhilarated from the rush of finding out what you were hiding from him. Not that he couldn’t make as much noise as he wanted, your cottage was 40 minutes from the outskirts of the city, which wasn’t the safest environment anyways, and 3 hours away in all other directions from anywhere containing sane, human life.

 Once within reaching distance, he picked it up without peaking in and sat on your soft bed. His hands were trembling from a strong surge of adrenaline and, without wanting to torture himself further, began to look through it. He prayed to find anything that made you deceitful and like him but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.

 Adult pacifiers, shortalls, sippy cups and more items similar to them were inside it. His initial thought was that you were into age play, but he doubted it, even if you were, you wouldn’t use anything this expensive in your casual hook-ups. Now that he knew what was in the box, he had even more questions which wasn’t what he had expected. With a new determination, he had arranged everything back into its original position and left your cottage to collect his thoughts and write down his questions at his base of operation. As he was driving back to the house he bought, he went down to his basement where he kept all his hunting equipment locked in. Looking at the corkboard he used to pin information about his current target, he methodically updated your information. As he did, he realised that he couldn’t stop smiling. This was new, having reached this level of excitement from his victim, it only made his obsession grow bigger for you. Oh, how you would regret going to that party that night.

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Yup ok so my secret .. I'm masculine not necessarily a dude but def not a girl

That means I don't like chest blobs and so I've been playing every sport available bc i read that that makes them smaller. Like I play a little soccer I'm on the school's basketball team I'm on the school's track team and I do cross country I love baseball and all because I don't want chest blobs. I also stopped eating bread bc apparentlythat helps too...

hey anon! i'm sorry you're going through this and i hope that one day you can find a way to be more comfortable in your body or to one day not even have to worry about chest blobs bc you will no longer have them. obviously idk what you want and what your plans for the future are and that's really none of my business, all i hope is one day you are in a place where you are comfortable with how you look.

before i get into anything else i just want to make sure you are healthy! is doing all of these sports fun for you or is it exhausting to the point where it affects other things in your life? obviously if you enjoy all the sports you do than there's just the added bonus of them maybe having an affect on making your chest blobs smaller but if you're just doing that for that reason i would encourage you to quit at least one of them. also i've never heard of the bread thing before but imo it's bullshit. i don't think cutting out any one food will have a big enough affect to counteract any damage you might accidentally be doing to yourself mentally and physically by not eating bread. i don't mean to sound harsh with any of this, i just am worried and want you to be healthy.

now onto other ways that you can maybe make them smaller. idk any ways besides medical ones to actually make them smaller but i definitely know ways to make them appear smaller.

the most common and one i'm sure you know is a binder. i know it can be hard to get one but i'm pretty sure if you do a little bit of research you can find somewhere that gives them out for free. also if you are still living with your parents and don't want them to know a good way to get one is to have a supportive friend to help you by getting it delivered to their address instead of yours (my friend did this)

another way is trans tape (i'm pretty sure that's what it's called). tbh i don't know much about it but i've seen some trans people on tiktok using it and promoting it. one thing to note is that some people with bigger chest blobs have a bit more trouble with it but i've seen people with all chest sizes using it (it just takes getting used to) and i'm sure you could find tutorials online. another plus is that i'm pretty sure it's more easily adjustable so if you want to make them smaller in a way that is more subtle so nobody will question you, this might work.

another method, and the only one i've used myself, is a tight sports bra (without padding). it's important to note by tight i mean it's only slightly small, not painfully so. as someone with smaller chest blobs, if i wear one with a very baggy flannel or sweater you can barely even tell i have them anymore so trying a combination of this with a baggy shirt might help. (my trans friend also does this sometimes and finds it works for him better than a normal bra or no bra)

and obviously there are medical ways but those are things that you can research on your own bc i don't want to overstep.

maybe you already know everything i've said, but i hope this helps you or at least helps someone. it's totally valid that you feel uncomfortable with your chest blobs but i just want to remind you that having them doesn't mean you can't also be masculine as the two or not mutually exclusive. and if any of my followers have had similar experiences, feel free to add on advice or just stories and i will reblog so this anon can see

send secrets on anon

[911lonestarscreentime]

Owen Strand Screen Time Meta Post

Welcome to the first in a series of posts analyzing the screen time of characters post season 2 of 911 Lone Star. I thought this idea would be more interesting, and efficient, than trying to put all of my thoughts for every character, and the entire season into one post. 

First up is Owen because he’s the highest billed character and because when I put out a poll, he was the only character no one wanted to see first. So let’s dive in! 

Read my analysis below the cut:

Season 1

I’ll be honest, when I started calculating the screen time I had no idea how much of an impact Owen’s time would have on the fandom. I really don’t recall there being that much discourse over it until I posted the results... and it didn’t really bother me before I saw the numbers? But after I did that first episode I was like oh..... yeah that’s a problem. 

At least that pilot episode was the most screen time he’s gotten, though I’m willing to bet that will change with season 3′s “Owen Begins.” I mean in a way, the pilot episode was his begins episode (or could even be considered “Begins Again” like what they did with Bobby on 911) since it was about him packing up and starting a new life as captain of the 126. Essentially, the pilot episode served to set up that this would be Owen’s show. 

The other episode where he took up a larger chunk of the screen time was 1x06 (”Friends Like These”) which makes sense because it was exploring his friendship with Billy... little did we know how important that would be later.

Most of his screen time in season 1 was concentrated around 8-10 minutes. Obviously that is the most screen time given to a character on the show, which makes sense since the show and the character was written for him and he hold the executive producer title. 

The least amount of screen time he got was around 7.5 minutes in 1x03 (”Texas Proud”) and 1x08 (”Monster Inside”). I do find that especially interesting since those are still episodes where he played an important role in the plot, compared to other characters whose least amount of screen time meant they were lucky if they spoke one line. It’s also worth noting in 1x03, Owen still had the most screen time (though Michelle was a close second) and in 1x08, Michelle did beat him by a few minutes.

Season 2

We really went into season 2 with higher hopes, though it wasn’t much better (I would argue there was some improvement... but I’ll talk about that more later). 

It says a lot that Owen’s top 3 episodes are 2x10, 2x11, and 2x12. Though he didn’t beat his previous record of over 20 minutes, he got nearly 15 minutes in 2x11 (”Slow Burn”)... which if you didn’t already know, is also the episode that was written by his son, John Owen Lowe, and directed by his brother, Chad Lowe. He also got around 12 minutes in the two episodes that buffer that one, 2x10 (“A Little Help From My Friends”) and 2x12 (”The Big Heat”). This three episode arc accounts for about 32% of his screen time this season.

Before that major arc in 2B, in the first half of season 2 his big episodes fell around 10 minutes each; 10:45 in 2x07 (”Displaced”), 10:00 in 2x03 (”Hold the Line”, the crossover), and 9:45 in 2x01 (”Back in the Saddle”)*

A big difference for this season compared to season 1 was that there were episodes where he did not get as much screen time. Whereas his least screen time was 7:30 last season, this season there were four episodes that were lower than that; 7:15 in 2x06 (“Everyone and Their Brother”), 6:00 in 2x13 (”One Day”), 5:30 in 2x02 (”2100°”), and of course, a mere 1:00 in 2x09 (“Saving Grace”). That is really the only episode where Owen has completely stepped aside, playing a very minor role in the overall plot. In 2x02, 2x06, and 2x13, Owen came in second behind Tommy (in x02 and x13) and Paul (in x06). And in 2x09, he came in fourth (the only time thus far he was not in the top 3) behind Judd, Grace, and Tommy.

(*I’ve mentioned the new method I’ve been using to calculate screen time on a few occasions now and I’ve only revisited 2x01 so far (almost done 2x02 tho) anyway, I’m using the data I collected using the old method for these posts but in an effort to be totally upfront about how the new method is going, Owen’s screen time for 2x01 is actually about 30 seconds higher than I originally calculated, coming it at 10:15 instead of 9:45. Not much of a difference, and idk how much the rest of the new method results will impact this meta post, but I wanted to be clear about it).

Total Screen Time

As the infographic above states, his total screen time for the two seasons comes in at nearly 3 hours and 45 minutes. Divided in half, thats around 112 minutes per season, which does fall in line with the totals for each season (103.25 minutes for season 1, 120.5 minutes for season 2). However, there was only 10 episodes in season 1, compared to the 14 we saw in season 2. With that in mind, you can begin to see how season 2 was actually a smidge better than season 1 when it came to how much screen time was given to Owen. But the real indicator is the averages, which is discussed next.

Average Screen Time

As you can see in the infographic, Owen’s average screen time in season 1 was around 10:15 and dropped to 8:30 in season 2. The series screen time (which is the total divided by 24, not those two totals divided by 2) comes in at about 9:15. 

Obviously, even 8.5 minutes is still a huge amount of screen time. But compared to over 10 minutes in season 1, his average screen time is seeing a clear downward trend. I would take this as a win. It’s a small change, but it’s an indication that we are heading towards a day where Owen doesn’t eat up the majority of the screen time each episode.

Outliers

The idea of outlier episodes wasn’t even something I considered until a few weeks ago. This would be an episode where the screen time total was either much higher, or much lower than what is normally seen for that character.

According to my calculations, in season 1 the pilot episode at 20:45 is an outlier for Owen. In season 2, 2x09 (”Saving Grace”) is also an outlier at 1:00. And looking at the data set for all the episodes in series, both numbers (20:45 and 1:00) are outliers. (Outliers change based on the data set, so we need to look at each data set (season 1, season 2, and series) individually and not assume that an outlier for one season would also be an outlier for the series). 

What happens when you remove the outliers?

That brings us to the above question. Is Owen’s 20+ minutes in the first episode the reason why his time is so high in season 1? Is his 1 minute in 2x09 bringing down his time in season 2? And what about the series?

I’m not sure if it’s worth examining how the totals are affected since that’s pretty self-explanatory. Obviously all the totals will go down if you take out the outlier episodes. But where it makes a difference as far as we’re concerned is the averages. 

Obviously the average number is how much you should expect to see that character during an episode. But if 20 minutes is much higher than normal, and 1 minute is much lower than normal, then what happens when you take out those numbers? Well, something actually fairly interesting happens, that almost contradicts what I said before about the progress...

When you remove the pilot episode from the data set for season 1, the average comes to around 9:15. When you remove 2x09 from the data set for season 2, the average comes to around 9:15. When you remove both episodes from the series data set the average comes to (you guessed it) 9:15. 

9:15 is more indicative of what to expect for Owen’s screen time in an average episode, and since it hasn’t changed that says a lot about the progress we’ve seen for screen time distribution.

Now as for what to do with this? Honestly, I have no idea. I mean the fact is that while these episodes are outliers, they did still happen. There is an episode where Owen only had about a minute of screen time; just like there’s an episode where he got over 20 minutes. Outliers are weird because I don’t want to not acknowledge them, and I think it’s important to look at when studying the screen time as a whole. But as for the reported numbers, we can stick with what is laid out in the infographic.

Closing Thoughts

It’s hard to say whether this season saw less Owen, or about the same. Of course when taking all episodes into account, it is less. But when you remove the outlier one minute episode, it’s really not that much better. But then again, the fact that we did get an episode where he was only on screen for a minute is a very good sign, so taking it out of the data set doesn’t exactly make sense.

I guess the biggest takeaway still is that Owen still has a lot. He always will. Even if he did have less this season, it’s still much more than the characters who come in second and third had. I like to think it will get better, and maybe it will, but personally I’ve accepted that Owen will always have the most, and he will have much more than other characters, but it shouldn’t be as much as it is. Hopefully his screen time will continue to trend down and allow for more time to explore the other characters on the show.

[anne-with-an-evangelion]

When it comes to talking about DBH characters who get character growth/a redemption arc, Hank is the obvious person to bring up, and there’s the obvious fandom fixation on Gavin, but what about Adam Chapman? He has an arc in the game that sort of disappears in the fray when compared to other characters but he has the literal journey that everyone wants Gavin to have. But even in comparison to others I feel like Adam completely stands on his own as a good character with so much potential as far as his past, future and motivations.

When Kara, Luther and Alice first show up at Rose’s house, Adam is outside chopping wood and literally turns them away, saying his mom isn’t just too busy to talk to them - she doesn’t WANT to. Of course this isn’t the case and Rose invites everyone inside. And Adam is PISSED.

Also he’s wearing a shirt that says Average Casual Guy which is so funny

Adam is young, probably around twenty, he doesn’t seem to be away at college or anything, rather Rose says they just farm their own food to sell at the market and that’s how they scrape by. Sounds stressful, especially with a bunch of Androids living in their house. It’s obvious Adam doesn’t want them around and definitely doesn’t want any new deviants showing up, after the call for revolution that occurred with Markus’s Stratford Tower speech.

As the scene goes on, you get more information about the Chapman’s and the things they’ve been through. Rose is obviously an incredibly strong and compassionate person to be helping the Androids to this extent, but there’s no denying it’s putting her and Adam in danger. When Kara walks in on their right in the kitchen, Adam is telling Rose they need to stop getting involved, that it’s not safe, and he’s not going to back down about this issue anymore.

His outburst over this is pretty understandable, in the context of the game - even when Kara first shows up asking for Rose, Adam’s first question is, “What do you want with her?” Which I feel like isn’t just about whether Kara is an Android or not, but whether she’s someone there to bust them for having Androids in the house. And of course he’s right, because the cops come by like five minutes later to search the house. They are putting themselves in danger, and even though they’re doing the right thing, it must still be a strain on their family... and it’s clear they’ve fought about this many, many times.

So, yeah, his rejection of his mother’s desire to help the Androids comes from a place of fear for their safety, which is understandable to an extent. But he isn’t just afraid of deviants and doesn’t want to help them - he really seems to hate them, which shouldn’t be an understandable view to hold within the context of the game and the allegory of the Civil Rights Movement, and then the language he uses is like, yikes...

It’s not, I understand they’re in trouble but I’m upset you’re putting us in danger, it’s something else - and of course Adam is really mad, and maybe saying something he doesn’t necessarily mean, but this does seem to reflect his view of the Androids as a whole. At this time, Adam honestly doesn’t see them as being people, which probably makes it even harder for him to understand why Rose goes so far out of her way to help them.

I mean, she sets up trips across the river which have been obviously successful, she drives them to Jericho, she has some kind of contact with or understanding of the revolution leaders because she’s able to direct Kara on where to go, and though not much is explained, her brother (and Adam’s uncle) is obviously totally cool with Androids because he’s willing to help them too. She’s clearly been doing this for a while, or at least is proactive enough to take action and do whatever she has to. She’s even willing to take care of Alice once they get across the border. Literally the hero of DBH but I digress. Adam doesn’t think Androids are worthy of the rights they’re asking for, especially when compared to humans.

What follows this is one of the most intriguing lines in the scene (to me)

What does this mean?? We know his father passed away, and Rose says that ever since then, Adam just boils over sometimes. Maybe it happened suddenly, an accident possibly - or did he get sick? Were Androids involved somehow, like what happened with Cole? What was Rose’s husband’s opinion on Androids? Things have changed since he passed, for sure, but still. Did he hold that same “Androids aren’t alive” opinion that Adam is now expressing? Or is it just that Adam thinks if his dad were still here, he’d be able to solve this issue somehow? Maybe his dad was a politician who ran on pro-Android laws and after he died Adam has become disillusioned with his parents’ worldview ??? Maybe his father died helping Androids too and that’s why Adam rejects them so much. Or maybe his dad hated Androids so much he would have never allowed Rose to help them, and so they wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place, in Adam’s mind. (Edited to say that apparently it’s canon that Adam’s father died of cancer though I can’t recall it specifically being said in the game, so that is definitely a sad addition to things☹️)

I’m literally just making shit up lol but I really do personally hesitate to give Adam some kind of super traumatic backstory or make him bigoted against Androids because the Black characters are already treated poorly enough in the game when it comes to those things. I’m inclined to think this is just a general outburst of missing his dad and wanting him to be there to ‘fix’ things or at least, maybe, mediate the conversation between Adam and Rose. Idk, it’s cool to speculate on, especially when other characters are given super deep dives into their literally nonexistent canon backstory, it definitely feels like there’s so much that’s unsaid here.

Obviously there’s a couple of different ways the gameplay can go after this - but one other thing I wanted to bring up was what happens if you end up with Kara at the border crossing and run into Rose and Adam there. After talking to Rose in the bathroom and making a plan to all go to her brother’s house, Kara talks to Adam outside-

He says he doesn’t agree with Markus’s methods (which is like.. ok.. a whole other conversation in itself)(EDIT: so apparently the answer is different if you choose the ‘pacifist’ route for Markus- Adam says that ‘seeing what Markus is doing made me realize you’re alive’ !!! Which is cool that it changes and def reflects something different about his character than if his response is always the same!) So anyway he now believes in Androids’ right to freedom and happiness. What made this come about?? Was it after interacting with Alice and Kara and Luther?? I have a theory that Rose knew Alice was an Android as soon as they showed up but just played along - maybe when Adam realized there were Android children mixed up in this too, he began to change his view on things, maybe see himself in them, or see things through his father’s eyes, wanting to protect his family and child. Maybe that’s the lens through which Adam begins to see it. It could be the peaceful pacifist revolution Markus is leading, if he is- but even if not, Adam still changes his mind.

Or, maybe after everything that’s happened, he just realizes he was being kind of an asshole about the whole thing and when it came down to it, a government that was literally going door to door searching for Androids and the people who might help them? That’s probably not the type of place Adam wants to live in. It’s definitely interesting to think about his motivations and what brought him to this point.

And even though it’s sad for Kara and Luther, I find the ending where Alice ends up with the Chapman’s really.. bittersweet-ly satisfying in a narrative way. Found family .... though of course it sounds like they were all planning on meeting at Rose’s brother’s house so they would have all been together anyway☹️

🥲I feel like I had so much more to say but yeah!! I think he’s such a cool interesting character and I love that he ends up on the side of the Androids in the end. And what happens after they escape safely??? Does he start helping deviants too like Rose does? Are they going to settle down and form a commune of sorts with the other Androids who escaped? I love the idea of that loss in Adam’s life being filled up with the addition of new people who care about him, and a little sister in Alice, since he seems to be an only child. The possibilities of it all...

Adam has a sad sort of story to his past, he dislikes Androids and then comes around, he has so much potential for what happens after the revolution - and he’s not the only one!!! There are so many characters in the game that deserve a closer look but I just love Adam..

[hms-no-fun]

which character in godfeels (if any) do you see yourself in the most?

i mean. it's obviously june, right? i can't joke about or entertain anything else, much as the contrarian in me might like to. "actually you'll be surprised to learn that i am most reflected in my work by dave strider" seriously? no way. it's june.

june in godfeels 1 was me at the end of a long stretch of depressed years before i figured out i was trans. in gf2 she was me after my own coming out went poorly (albeit far less violently or explicitly transphobic than june’s). there are so many ways in which this story is autobiographical, it would honestly be embarrassing to list them all.

actually i don't think i quite understood just how much the overarching plot of godfeels has pulled from my life until writing this particular exchange:

that the writing process for the multi-stage boss battle ending in june's ego death happened to coincide with a catastrophic series of events in my own life is just one of those funny cosmic mysteries you gotta run with. it's impossible for me to deny the autobiographic element of this scene as i was literally saying this to myself, to my girlfriend, to my friends: this is not where our lives end. we're going to stay together.

the barrier between me and the narrative at that point was so narrow i couldn't help but look through it and see that june has always been way more of me than i realized. she is, maybe, someone i wish i could be in a strange way, or an imagined projection of who i am, with all the wounds i wish other people could see made literal. maybe she's an allegory for me, idk. i promise you i don't actually see her that way, none of this is anything i'm doing on purpose, it's just something that has proven true over and over again. june's story is about being punished by and for queerness, so naturally i'm gonna be drawing from my own experiences there.

i have a weird relationship to june, though. sometimes i feel like i don't understand her, which is probably for the best. that's what i like about her actually. writing her scenes in the [S], it felt SO good to finally be able to write in her blue again, in her quirk again, in her VOICE again. everything about that is so precious to me and writing it feels like i'm having a pleasant conversation with myself (even when the topic of the conversation is crippling ptsd flashbacks).

i often feel bad for making june suffer so much, especially at the end of 3.1. but as time has gone on, as much as i love her, i’ve found it increasingly difficult to relate to june’s methods of dealing with trauma (or rather, her lack of methods). the last year has knocked a lot of tears out of me, and as a result i’ve become even more calloused than i already was. june needed to be put through a real ringer, the aforementioned ego death, in part because i want to be done with all this fucking psychodrama for a while, but mostly because i want to move on from pained self-reflection towards a story about building a life back up from the rubble. stepping outside your own head, finding a community, building one, and really truly moving in a singular direction for reasons that are your own for maybe the first time in your life. that’s the story i’m living, after all. maybe it’s the story we’re all living these days.

so i guess that in itself is the ultimate statement of what june means to me, that i needed her life to mirror my own so that i could continue relating to her and telling her story. i see bits of myself in a lot of other characters (writing as dave is a lot of fun, we have a very similar sense of humor), but they’re separate from me in a way that june isn’t. when i write her, it’s like coming back home. i want her to grow and live and love and find something good that lasts, because i want that for myself. i have to believe it’s possible. i know it is.