#obvi its just chapter one but holy

[kindheartedgummybears]

sorry for disappearing yall life has been a bitch and a lot of personal issues are going on at once, but there is some good news! New 5 chapter fic dropping soon, hope yall like Vinya and monsters.

[cantdanceflynn]

is there any sort of master post or main post for your PNF Deity AU? Because I’m a sucker for some good old fashioned AU, and I really want to check it out, but it’s kind of hard to find any sort of introduction/explanation to it

Mostly because we do this very often lol, i keep planing to make one but itll be part of when i redo my pinned and rn the world is throwing literally all it has at me like holy shit lol

Basically, it's an au with the concept of "hey itd be funny if most of the main cast + some rly obscure side characters were actually gods huh?" and it spiraled rapidly from there lol

this is the main fic, if you want to read through it! we also have an ask blog, @askthedanvillepantheon, and a discord if you want to join(obvi kinda nothing happens lol but like, ya know, just in case).

i am gonna point out that like, pay attention to the tws for the fic pls. we arent joking about those, we swear its all in character and makes sense, but it gets rly intense and dark lol. in addition, a fair bit of it relies on obscure characters, with the main antagonist. literally being a bg character. so while these characters get introduced as they do in canon, if ur looking for an adventure that doesnt go in depth on the emotional state of the sentient escape tower from escape from phineas tower, this aint the fic for u, sry

[aquaquadrant]

HOLY SHIT… the amount of time and effort u must’ve put into this is INSANE. literally so freaking cool to read thru all ur thoughts on the series from start to finish. this is prob the longest/most in-depth feedback i’ve ever gotten, it really means a lot 😭😭😭

obvi i can’t address everything you’ve written here but since u took the time to share your thoughts, i can at least answer some of the questions u had 💃

oneshots: yeah, when i posted the first part, i thought i would just do a few ‘one shots’ (unconnected short stories) to tell the story. very quickly, i realized that it’d be better to do more structured chapters- although the structure admittedly could’ve benefitted from more in-depth planning. the story def got away from me a little bit 😂

how timmy knew about other worlds vs hels: at the time of writing, i had more intended for him to have just picked it up over the years. patho’s theory is fairly wide-spread, though not EVERY player/community in hels is aware of or accepts it. but i could definitely see watchers having a hand in that, as well.

how hels tek functions: atlas is unique in how much control he exerts over his employees. he maintains strict rules and high standards of ‘civil behavior’ that aren’t typical for other redstone labs, not even iraid. while instinct himself usually resolves conflicts non-violently, he isn’t afraid to lay down the law if needed. and he tolerates a greater amount of fighting and crude behavior than atlas, so long as his employees are still getting their work done.

the respawn anchor glitch: my intention was for it to be an act of the universe, to give tango the opportunity to free himself and participate in its experiment. but to the players, it was nothing more than random chance. you’re the first person i’ve seen to theorize about that being an act of sabotage, so kudos to you!

bravo’s overworld experiences: he actually didn’t get to spend a lot of time exploring the universe at large before he got stranded in hels, maybe a couple years? his experiences were very limited to a few moderately-sized public multiplayer worlds, mainly for redstone, where his talents were much appreciated. so while he’s heard of competitive multiplayer like UHC, he never participated in that (or knows of anarchy servers) so he got a falsely positive view of what ‘overworlds’ are like and let that sour his view of hels even further.

how alsiker knew bravo wasn’t from hels: it’s the eyes, babey!! 👁️👄👁️

was bravo going to go back thru the hels portal after atlas? i truly think he might have! he was in a full rage at that point and not thinking clearly. same reason he couldn’t calm down and explain himself better to the double lifers (would’ve spared him from being hotguyed ��)

bravo’s interest in timmy: it’s a very complex jumble of emotions that guided bravo to that choice. he’s feeling angry and cheated, robbed of all the good things he feels entitled to (and thinks that tango ‘stole’ from him). jimmy sort of became a representation of that, all the ‘good things’ bravo missed out on, so he developed an unhealthy fixation that got transferred on to timmy. it didn’t help that jimmy is actually very attractive in bravo’s eyes and to his taste in men, AND that jimmy demonstrated himself as so devoted and loving to tango. in a way, it’s like bravo looked at jimmy fighting to defend tango and thought “damn i need me a man like that. be great if someone cared for me that way :’)” then looked at the raggedy mess that is timmy and thought “i can fix him” (wrong!!!)

tango’s ‘deceit’: the amount of actual lying that tango did is very minimal, and amplified by his own insecurities and the blame directed onto him by bravo and atlas. he thinks that having those ‘sadistic’ tendencies at all makes him a monster, even tho he found a good way of coping and enjoys making games for people. in his mind, at this point in the story, he shouldn’t enjoy people dying at all, even in the context of a voluntary fun minigame.

mumbo’s redstone world: it is a single player world, however. when grian escaped the watchers, he sort of fell out of the aether and into the first safe world he thought of, which was mumbo’s. normally grian can’t physically enter a single player world whenever he wants, that was a special one-time case. it gave mumbo quite the shock.

respawns: i’m sure bravo and timmy set their spawns in double life before the mission back to hels, just didn’t include it. but players can still set their spawns after traveling thru a hacked nether portal. it just means that if the spawn point is disrupted (ie. a bed is broken or a respawn anchor runs out) they’d default back to their last world spawn. for hels players, that’ll always be hels. the way to change that is by getting a new communicator or joining another world via comm portal- then that becomes their default spawn (btw, post-HTP, timmy’s default spawn is the double life world)

atlas’s defeat: the reason he was so blindsided by tango and bravo tricking him was partly cuz 1) he views himself as smarter than them and 2) he views himself as the manipulator, not the one to be manipulated. those are their roles, in his mind. so while he’s playing all these mental games, he doesn’t see them as active opponents, more like game pieces that he has to correctly move and manipulate to get what he wants. he didn’t think they’d be capable of playing him, back. that hubris of his was always gonna be the end of him!

patho: what IS he up to… hmm…. 👀

falsesymmetry: false is… doing the best she can with the knowledge she has available. she and sym have issues that i can’t wait to explore in future fics. it’s def not gonna go over well with tango though.

scáil: his condition is related to grian’s botched watcher transformation, and that’s not what’s supposed to happen. counterparts can normally be made watchers independently of each other. but something went very wrong. grian really oughta check in 😉

doc’s hive mind: i haven’t fully fleshed out this concept but since doc is not a normal player, and has significant cybernetic enhancements, i imagine hive mind to be a way for him to sort of tap into the communication between watchers? like his own private line into the aether. so he doesn’t hear them in the traditional way of a listener, but all their expansive knowledge is available to him.

portal technology: it’s all a bit wonky, i’ll admit. hacked nether portals can only be opened between hels and a different world- so two counterparts within hels couldn’t travel to each other. players from overworlds can bring items to hels with them, or even mobs, and it works like a normal nether portal, but i imagine that doesn’t track for creative worlds. just cuz like, i imagine creative worlds being almost on a separate plane of reality where the items and mobs they generate aren’t really ‘real’? if that makes any sense. that possibility would just be way too chaotic and game-breaking.

current state of hels: i touched on this in another ask but basically, the firewall being down just means players can make hacked nether portals much more easily. their comms are still hardwired to not be able to open portals, and that’ll always be true. but if they go to another world and get a new comm from there, then those comms will work normally (like what tango did with xisuma’s help).

PHEWWWW i think that’s most of it, i know u were prob just thinking out loud/rhetorical thinking for some of these but it was neat to elaborate a little more on some things!! i hope to elaborate even more in future HTP stories (once i’ve taken my board exam OTL)

and truly, truly, thank you for sharing 💜

I loved reading the "From Eden" story, written by @aquaquadrant and the accompanying art by @lunarcrown. I keep thinking about the story/world, so I decided to be kind to myself and write it out, so at least my thoughts will be organized.

Or so I thought. It turned out to be more of a ramble than a coherent piece of text. I'm not gonna do it to myself to check and clear up everything, it's supposed to be a fun write, not a chore. I've made a lot of (obvious) observations and asked a lot of questions, but that's me just 'thinking out loud'. And I knew it would be long, but I hadn't expected it to be this long. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested in reading all of it, but here it is anyway.

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I love it, and everything about it.

I love the whole "Hells to Pay" universe. I love how alive the universe feels while at the same time it still feels very much like Minecraft. I love how it has very much game logic while at the same time having very real stakes and dangers.

I love the characters, both the ones based on youtubers and the original ones. The first category are clearly recognizable with their way of speaking and mannerisms and the latter seem just as well developed. I love how everyone has depth. Everyone has strengths and weakness, even if it's not always obvious. No one is fully good and even the worst characters have some good qualities. And everyone has the ability to change and learn, for better or for worse, but only if they choose so.

I love the writing. The way it's structured makes it fun and easy to read. The wording very much supports the world and it's characters. I love how it lingers on some moments and quickly goes over others, it feels very natural. And though I am the kind of person that wants to know anything about a universe/story they love, I do think that the amounts of exposition and explanation are great. More would probably hinder the telling of the story itself. And I love all the extra bits of the world told through answering other peoples asks.

I love the art. Everyone is unique and easy recognizable. The bodylanguage and faces are really expressive. It's great to see. Beside that, it's also an artstyle that I just really enjoy.

So onto more details of the story. A LOT more details, I basically did another deep read to make sure I didn't miss anything. Spoilers I guess for anyone who hasn't read the story but somehow did find this post.

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Lunarcrown's into comic looks amazing. It also wonderfully shows what kind of world Hels can be and the nightmare that is Tango's life. When I found the story, this intro was enough to get me hooked.

I think it's funny that the first part of an eleven chapter story (of which two are two-parters) is called a one-shot in the authors notes. I mean, I'm not a native English speaker and all that, but I don't think that's correct. Was it intended to be a stand-alone story? Had it been the plan for the AU to be told through short stories?

It's a small thing but I like how every new chapter/place is introduced by "Somewhere in [insert world], a player [is introduced, doing something]", with very minimal variations. It's a nice returning bit, through the whole story.

The way Tango's imprisonment is described is chillingly beautiful. It's horrific, but at the same time almost casual. But that's what is has become for Tango: just another day. In the same way, the manner of escaping is grueling, showing clearly his desperation. Well done.

It's so clearly noticeable, even through the immediate relief of escaping Hells Tek, that he's been through so much and that it impacted him so much. And then he decides to hide it and pretend it didn't happen for another decade. Even if he didn't fool people nearly as much as he thinks he did, it's so sad he though he needed to do that. Not to say that I can't understand it. Sadly, it probably stopped him from openly enjoying what he had: his freedom, all the wonderful experiences of the overworld and his friends. It's an amazing first chapter.

Also I love the way you write Xisuma.

And hello Bravo. I don't really like him as a character, too arrogant and snobbish. But at the same time, I love his journey and it's fun to follow him. He didn't deserve to be stranded here. But then again, that was kinda the point of the Universe's little experiment. I wonder, if he would one day learn about that, would it make him feel better or worse?

It's interesting to see his outside view of Hermitcraft. And them being considered a private bunch in this universe, while we see them pretty much place every block of their megabases, through streams and timelapses. Then again, in-story Hermitcraft is only in it's second world/season. I haven't been following Hermitcraft for THAT long, but it probably isn't a fair comparison. I wonder which of the Hermits Bravo was familiar with. Some of the redstoners, probably.

Timmy leaving his save spot to talk to Bravo wasn't something I noticed om my first read, and it's sweet of him. I love Timmy, and at the same time I want to yell at him for taking such poor care of himself. It's nice to see that through all he experienced he hasn't lost his kindness.

I've been definitely overthinking this, but while rereading Timmy explaining what Hels is to Bravo I was wondering how he knew the difference between Hells and a normal world. The logical explanation would be that some other player told him. But I remembered a post were there was mentioned Timmy was a Listener and I am a sucker for any Watcher Lore (and your version is great), so my mind came to the conclusion that a Watcher told Timmy. After all, he seems so lonely and so attention starved, that he would probably love it when the Watchers are around him. Maybe he tries to talk to them, make them stay a little longer. Most Watchers wouldn't be interested in him, since they can't make him leave. They would only be at spawn if someone more interesting has died without a respawn point. But maybe... Maybe some of the nicer Watchers decide to humor him, and talk for a moment. Maybe after a few times, they discover it's nice to sometimes just have a conversation with a player and just... start telling him things. Random bits of trivia, events that they've Watched somewhere else, things about their old lives. They would still be mostly doing other Watcher stuff, but when they are bored, or were about to visit Hels' spawn anyway, they stop by a certain avian.

Like I said, I've been overthinking this. It probably doesn't fit your story, but it has been fun to imagine. I like the idea that Timmy is one of the few players that is completely comfortable with being a Listener. And I like the idea of someone that people don't spend a second thought on casually having conversations with literal deities.

Back to Bravo for a moment. The stretchend out death-loop that is his way out of spawn is interesting to see. He starts out relatively optimistic but get's a hard and painful lesson on what life in Hels is like. By the time he meets the Arena recruiters he seems to understand why Timmy doesn't leave spawn. Bravo is glad with the resources he has, even though in any other world a second-day player would probably put him to shame. His first instinct on seeing players approach him is now to hide. He's already changed a lot, probably without even realizing it. And that is before he snaps.

The symmetry between the ending of one chapter and the start of the other is well done. One duo dies and Bravo finally gets a break in his struggle to survive. Another duo dies and Tango has a big setback in the game he's participating in.

The tone of chapter 3 is very different from the previous chapters. For a big part, it is an adaptation of Jimmy's and Tango's first episodes of the Double Life series. It's impressive how that part is both true to the source and a good adaptation. And then it smoothly transforms in your own work. Well done.

"They have only one bed." Look, I am very new to fanfiction, but even I know that this is a classic. I don't mind. Classics are classics for a reason, and you've written it good. I love the awkwardness here between the two of them.

Somehow the thing that's hardest to believe is that Grian would be the one to propose an end to the death-game, and it's funny that other characters seem to find that hard to believe as well. But it's a fun set-up to change mid-way in a death game to a survival world.

The addition that the soulbound can make you aware of your partners feelings and that it amplifies whatever is already between them. And thank you Impulse, for sharing your wisdom and for talking some sense into Tango. All the things Tango worries Jimmy will hate about him, seem to be the things he hates himself for. No wonder he feels unlovable. And thank you Pearl, for giving Tango some perspective.

So much of this chapter is just lovely and wholesome. After the Ranches have one good conversation, things just organically develop. Their relations grows closer and stronger. Tango learns to love and how it feels to be loved, he learns to be vulnerable, he slowly starts lowering his walls. There are still mountains of old pain, but there are new pieces that are healing as well. Thank you Jimmy, for being the healer that Tango needs. If only it would last.

Back to Hels. It's a nice detail that beds are a high end item. I guess that means making wool from string isn't possible (4 string into wool never felt right anyway). Though an anchor would prevent a long death loop by running out.

The inner workings of Hels Tek are a nice bit of information, though the place itself definitely is not. How does it compare to other redstone labs, like iRaid? Many workers probably only tolerate the restricting of their freedom because it's still better inside than being alone on the outside.

Clear is a fun character, especially when interacting with Atlas. He can get away with almost anything because he is just to valuable to loose in Atlas' eyes. He is a tragic mess but highly intelligent and takes pride in his work.

It's very telling that young Atlas, with just two minutes of life experience, already assumed the worst of others. That is not something he learned. Why would someone bother to plug a hole at spawn? Ease of traveling? And it's wood, valuable and burnable, it could have been part of a make-shift bridge, or something. Atlas really is the worst. Oh, and rule number one of Minecraft: don't dig straight down, smart guy.

It felt strange to me that Timmy lied to Atlas about Bravo, while pointing them in the direction that Tango want, the guy Atlas is actually looking for. But now I realize that Tango could "still see spawn in the distance", just before the portal spawned. Did Timmy in turn actually see Tango leaving and Bravo joining, from his higher vantage point? That would mean he probably did protect Tango, by not telling the full truth. Also, he's seen both of them. Has he noticed their likeness?

I hadn't caught on to Timmy casually lying Bravo in the first few times I read this chapter. It's sweet. And that he is able to do so while sounding casual surprises me. It feels like a stark contrast with his counterpart, who seems to be a bad liar and with an very emotive voice. And Timmy managed to do so in the face of a powerful man who has already subtilty threatened him and his with minions around. A quiet display of (inner) strength.

Timmy has delayed Atlas and Bravo meeting for five years, half the time Bravo spend in Hels. Five years without answers, five years without any hope of returning. If Atlas had found him the next time Bravo respawned (shot by a skeleton, if matched up chapter II and V correctly) Atlas would have put things together. Bravo would probably have jumped at the chance to get to Hels Tek, to civilisation, and he hadn't learned the "healthy Hels skepticism" yet. Atlas would be his savior! And would have been able to fully shape Bravo's image of Hels. Now, Bravo had to build his own image. Would he think it would have been worth those five years? Maybe, after he finally escaped Hels. I hope so, for Timmy's sake.

Tango had five more years on the overworld because of Timmy's lie. Five years of healing, but also five years of hiding and festering. He would have been in the fifth or sixth world of Hermitcraft, which would have had more resources than Double life. But the Hermit are more thinly spread and not focused on pvp. And on Hermitcraft, Tango probably would have been alone, when Hels Tek came for him. Others would have probably too far away to reach him in time, if they even knew were to go. Or maybe Tango would have been lucky and Hels Tek would have entered minutes before the final battle of the season 6 Prank War. Probably not but that would have been funny. There is a chance that the five extra years were unnecessary and only stopt him from fully healing but I think its way more likely that it saved him. On Double Life and with Jimmy at his side it seems that everything was exactly right for Tango being saved and to make sure his past won't come back to hound him anymore.

I truly hope that Timmy's little lie made things better in the end. I didn't realize that I had so much to say about one sentence in the story. I hope you didn't mind the sidetrack.

Atlas looking for Tango in the Arena seems to be the reason that the recruiters that made Bravo snap ran into him in the first place. Credits were it's due, thank you Atlas, for giving Bravo the means to gain things like good food, end-game armor and weapons. I still don't like you.

Considering Alisker has a spy in Hels Tek, and doesn't actually want hybrid farming to succeed, could the failing of respawn anchor be due to sabotage? Or maybe it was just the will of the Universe. Also, Alisker humiliating Atlas is very satisfying.

The downward spiral of Hels Tek is also very satisfying. It seems that Atlas never bothered to make any protocol for things taking a turn for the worst. I guess that just would be unimaginable for him. And then dr. Clear manages to halt that spiral in one lucid peptalk. That makes me sad that his lucid moments seem to be so rare and frustrated that he uses his skills and talents for Hels Tek. Clear Cut's mental health issues could be some form of heavy depression. That would be treatable. Earlier in the chapter it was mention he has to use potions of swiftness to be functional, but that sounds like management to me, not treatment.

The difference between Atlas meeting Bravo, and Atlas meeting a young Tango is interesting. Tango's base is hidden, while Bravo's is not. Bravo asks questions before deciding whether to attack, while Tango does not. Both of them are wary, but Tango seems eager to work in a redstone lab, while Bravo only sees it as a way home. All of these differences seem to be learned, though. And young Tango is cute.

Bravo at the start of chapter VI has plenty of Hels experience, but without Atlas having manipulated his worldview yet. Still, it's not a pretty picture. He thinks Atlas is probably dangerous because "he’s from Hels, after all". As if overworlders can't be dangerous. Does he know how players on anarchy servers can be? Does he know how an UHC works?

Overworld players gain the ability to travel between world as teenagers, and Bravo mentions next chapter that he probably stopped aging while still looking young. Tango was recruited as a teen, and spent only a few years in Hels Tek. He is the same age as Bravo. In other words, Bravo probably didn't have that much of a window between gaining access to multiverse travel and getting trapped in Hels. Maybe Bravo is just naive when it comes to overworld players.

You know, I really thought Atlas was the one to bring out the worst in Bravo, but perhaps all he did was stop Bravo from examining his own biases. I know Hels is a though place but I can't believe Bravo is that special for having a grand total of three pieces of furniture. He also already considers hybrid players part monster. One of his first thoughts on hearing Hels is an actual prisonworld is that the players that have spawned here must deserve it. And when Atlas guesses that Tango managed "to utilize [Bravo's] connection to leave Hels", Bravo interprets that as Tango willingly trapping him.

Bravo's early days in Hels Tek probably mirror those of Tango. A rundown of practices and procedures of the place, other scientist gathering information about him, leaving the communicator with other scientist to let them figure out the data. Probably to work with the same iron farm scientist Bravo talked to. But Bravo is aware what it's actually for, Tango was fed lies. And Tango was a teenager that had probably grown up feral and just entered a community for the first time.

Hels!Keralis is another fun character. I love that one of the extreme traits that he got from his counterpart is more eyes. How does he know that Bravo isn't from Hels? With the number of eyes he has it somehow wouldn't surprise me if he has some sort of special sight. Or it could be corporate spionage.

I haven't mentioned it before but the way you write the passage of time, with short snippits to show significant moments or changes, is very good. It really gets across how not everything happens in short order, how events can have far reaching effects and how change can happen slowly. It also helps you feel that time has passed and the world isn't static.

Once Bravo had his first impression of Patho, he really didn't bother updating his opinion unless other players made him. Bravo wonders what it could take to loose an eye, and there is something that can do that. In some of the worldbuilding posts it's mentioned that Martyn lost one eye, and Grian both of them, to Watchers. It would make sense that an experienced player would be recruited, but it could also just be an coincident. Bravo disapproves of the fangirling towards Patho, but I wouldn't be surprised if he once was a big fan of Etho. Legendary overworld redstoner and all that. (IRL during April Fools 2013, Etho was famous enough to get his own Minecraft block) The manner Patho let's Bravo know that he doesn't like to be touched is way over the top. Patho is another interesting character, but one of those that I'm very glad of that he's fictional. At the same time it's sweet of Patho that he is very much willing to educate others and share his knowledge.

I like the touch that the first two times the portal is lit, it has everchanging colours. Like the Hermitcraft portal Tango went trough. And it's later explained that inter-world portals have unique color-paterns, depending on their destination. So Tango is still on Hermitcraft in the early attempts. After that it switches to the red-yellow-green of the Traffic SMP/Life Series.

Bravo almost shows some critical thinking and empathy when he finds the Tango Tek farm, but it's immediately ruined when Atlas shows up. I hope Bravo gets nightmares about this when he finally learns how to self-reflect. Bravo's sarcastic reply on whether he has said his goodbyes is telling. He could have made friends if he had wanted to, I'm sure. The scientist had been welcoming and curious about him, and as a redstoner himself it's not as if they had nothing in common. That's a good base to build upon.

His first moments in ten years in the overworld are beautiful. Though Bravo has very many flaws, I do have sympathy for him gotten trapped in Hels. But not for anything else at the moment.

Jimmy reflecting on getting to know the Hermits is fun and wholesome. The little things he has learned about Tango, the thing he seems to love most about him, seem to be mainly related to being a blaze hybrid. All the things that are just Tango. That makes Bravo's claim that he should have been Jimmy's soulmate just plain wrong.

The whole conversation between Jimmy, Tango and Bravo is amazing. Jimmy is trying to figure out what is going on and all is knows for certain is that the person he loves is scared and hurting. And once again Bravo almost seem to realize the universe isn't as black and white as he though it was.

And then the fight! Tango's terror and fight response. Jimmy's terror. Tango's shutdown when he realized that he hurt Jimmy. Just wow. And Jimmy's reaction to seeing Tango freezing up is pretty much forgetting he is on fire because Tango needs him! Poor, poor Tango. Bravo clearly sees himself as a good guy by taking back his rightful place and trying to help Jimmy, not realizing that for Jimmy he is the villain and the leader of the group that invaded the Ranch and is kidnapping his boyfriend. And Jimmy placing himself between the invaders and the portal, knowing he can't win is a beautiful show of his care, courage and determination. These guys have very shallow definitions of strength and weakness.

The Cavalry arrives! And the announcing their presence with the horns is very much Double Life. I know that battles are hard to write, but you did an amazing job with it. It's definitely chaotic with much going on, but it's clear to read and good to follow. Every Lifer does their part in the battle and everyone has their own fighting style.

Was Bravo so angry of Atlas that he tried to follow him back to Hels? The place that he tried to leave for ten years? The moment the portal breaks he is surrounded by overworlders. He can blame the battle going wrong and the mistrust of the players on Atlas, but they give Bravo a chance to explain himself and he messed that up all on his own. And Bravo has seen they are pretty much what he thinks overworlders should be. It's a server where they don't grief bases, where they work/fight together, where they defend each other, where they ask questions and don't immediately attack. (Outside the battle, but that doesn't count, they saw their servermates in trouble.) But they don't welcome Bravo as one of their own. They restrain him and mistrust him. They don't see him as different from the other players that came trough the portal. ("What did you guys do to him", emphasis mine) They hear his explanation but don't believe him. They dislike it so much they kill him, meaning this time he is send to Hels and it's not a fluke or mistake. It's overworld players wanting him gone.

I don't think he realizes this, not at first at least, he has his mind on other things. But once he has time to process what happened? It has got to hurt, even if he doesn't admit to himself he was wrong. I think it all does help later with Tango's words finally reaching him.

Jimmy's fear of not knowing were Tango is when the portal is broken is so real. So is the relief on knowing he's still (physically) with them. Scar being the one to shoot Bravo feels right. Scar has a goofy and easygoing demeanor, but he is very capably and not someone who you should cross, and Bravo did that by saying nasty things about his friend.

It's a relief that Bravo has finally up enough to stop working with Atlas. Progress? His fight against the hired muscle parallels the fight Tango had in brutality, as much as he might deny it. and slicing his own neck is brutal as well.

I'm still not sure how to feel about the Bravo/Timmy reunion. I'm happy that Timmy isn't alone anymore, that he is with someone who has been, not quite nice, but at least polite towards him. At the same time Bravo isn't doing this for the right reasons, he later admits as much himself. He is using Timmy as a substitute for Jimmy. Thing is, he doesn't know Jimmy. Is he really so hung op over the whole 'should-be-soulmates' thing over a stranger? I don't get it, and that could very wel just be a me problem. But he does want Timmy around, even if he's not Bravo's first choice. Since Bravo stepped through the portal that was supposingly taking him to Hermitcraft, Timmy might have been the only one that has been there for him. Timmy was the one who explained Hells to him, without trying to manipulate him. He has been welcoming to him. He has been the one who showed sympathy when Bravo died. The only thing Timmy wanted was not to be alone, but he didn't force that. I hope Bravo's biases don't blind him towards all that.

And that final sentence. If he can’t have the sun, he’ll learn to love its shadow. I know I haven't been the only one going crazy over that. That one sentence it saying so much. I've also have been (over)thinking what that makes Timmy, symbolism wise. The sun doesn't actually have a shadow, being a light source. But there is one thing, it isn't a real shadow, but there is something that is a lack of sunlight. If Jimmy is the sun, Timmy is the night sky. Both are beautiful on their own.

Back to Double life and their aftermath of the battle. I like that you fully wrote the aftermath. Things like this often get skipped or summarized. Now things have calmed down a little, the players have room to feel their exhaustion, their fear, their pain, to become more aware of their wider surroundings and to start figuring out what actually happend. It seems that no matter the universe, the Ranch is destined to burn down. It's sad to see, especially with how warm and cosy you had written the place. And ofcourse Etho and Joel have water buckets, with that clutching trick they love doing.

The state Tango is in, is heartbreaking. No one seems to be sure how to handle that situation, except Impulse, but that might just be appearances. Impulse and Jimmy have a very similar comforting warmth around them, I'm not sure how to call it. So, while Jimmy might feel useless (and the 'intrusive thoughts' aren't helping), I don't think he would have done a bad job with helping Tango. But Impulse has known Tango for years, and has some experience. And he didn't just went through the things that Tango or Jimmy just did. Jimmy's comment about the lights show that he does know Tango, no matter what he thinks. It's interesting that the comments from the Watchers right after are ambiguous in whether they are directed at Jimmy or Impulse.

You cannot sleep, there are monsters nearby. That sentence fills me with dread ever time I read it. It's a dread probably every survival minecrafter knows. And for that sentence to be directed towards Tango is devastating. Luckily Jimmy knows just wat to say to pull Tango out of it. The whole conversation after feels beautifully sad and vulnerable and raw. And it's once again devastating that Tango still feels that he has to be strong in front of Jimmy and only let's himself cry when he thinks there's no one to see it. But Jimmy is not doing nothing, he is being Tango's shoulder to cry on, an that is worth a lot.

The game-chat log of the battle is a fun read. It's very bare-bones, due to it's nature but it gives a good overview and a good indication of how the other Lifers reacted. You have a very good grasp of how you can use the chat in the story. Also, good job Bravo, you did the impossible and make Jimmy hate someone.

Tango's desperate attempt to avoid talking about what happend is painful, and it doesn't exactly work when other players were actually there to witness it. He's still afraid of being rejected because of the truth. And when de finally talks about his past he uses the word 'evil' to describe the players of Hells multiple times, he really believes it. Of course, his friends know better. I like how mad the Lifers are about Tango's past, how offended they are for his sake. And Tango's fear of they kicking him out never crossed their minds.

Whether or not it makes sense for this AU to have a concept of years, I'm glad they exists because it makes it much easier as a reader to keep track of time and of a player maturity. Gradual growth isn't really a thing in Minecraft, so it could even work as kind of sub-growth-stages between player children, teens and adults.

Another vulnerable conversation between Tango and Jimmy, with Tango admitting things he probably never said out loud before. But how bad is it really if he found a healthy way indulge in his questionable desires? And it's not like death is permanent. I can't argue with Tango saying he's messed up, but that's the trauma, not an inherent part of him.

I don't think he has deceived and lied as much as he thinks he has. His friends seemed to realize that Tango had a traumatic past and that some things set him of. They knew Tango didn't want to talk about it so they didn't ask. And he may have hidden his past and a part of his personality, but that was mostly lying by omission. Were the parts of his personality he did show false? Did he not want people to have fun with his games? I highly doubt that.

And it's not as if he's the only one with questionable personality traits on this server. In chapter IV Pearl gave him a bucket of powdered snow so she wouldn't succumb to the temptation of torturing her own soulmate, for example. Nobody is perfect, don't try to live up to an impossible standard.

The good thing about Tango saying all his insecurities aloud is that others can point out he's wrong, and Jimmy let's him know very clearly. Tango seems to be so surprised about it. He never considered his fears being wrong.

All things considered the Ranchers seem to handle the burned out ranch well. They're sad about it and Tango feels guilty, and that makes sense, but no anger or panic or deeply repressed feelings. Progress? Jimmy's comment about liking to wear the gloves is cute. Him not giving them back to Tango is also saying that Tango doesn't need to hide his claws, or himself. I thinks Tango is starting to understand that, even if he has trouble believing it. Same with all the players showing up, Tango sees that the truth about him hasn't scared them off.

I guess that there have been times that all the hiding was too overwhelming at times. Those probably moments Tango looked for Hels. If he was there wouldn't have to keep lying to his friends. He would have felt so much guilt, especially after learning that he had a counterpart that was probably trapped there. So it's a good thing it doesn't show up.

The similarities and differences between Patho and Etho explaining the portals stuff are fun. They have different experience with portals and different tools to work with, but they figured it out. And Patho isn't willing to give up one redstone ore block, while Etho is willing to get up and look for one with a friend.

Every time Tango mentions something about his past in Hels, Impulse seems to be in conflict to be a comforting presence or to be in righteous furry. It's hard to blame him. It's nice to see Impulse and Jimmy kind of team up to try to help Tango work trough everything.

I'm not sure how firewalls and whitelists work (or don't work) in combination with hacked portals. I'm also not sure how those exactly work. Then again, I know it's more important that they work than how they work. My brain just wants to understand it.

Tango, I get that you want to protect your friends but going into Hels alone isn't the solution. That way they at least get hurt by your actions and you actually encourage them to make unprepared, desperate attempts to get you back. If Tango had succeeded in breaking the portal, the Double Lifers would still try to follow. Since they know Bravo met Etho's counterpart, they would probably open a portal with his data. That would definitely have been interesting, but that would not have been good.

Thankfully, Jimmy is there to prevent all that. It's good to see that he stands his ground when Tango wants to cut others out, even though Jimmy has his own insecurities to deal with. And he already followed him to Hels, so of course Jimmy wouldn't think twice about following Tango into a trap.

Bravo has so many villainous vibes. It's a miracle he hasn't noticed it yet. He has figured out why they are here, but at the same time doesn't seem to realize they are here to help. And the hypocrite is calling Tango a monster for his temper, while he started the fight because of his anger. Bravo is a very good fighter, we've already seen, he's been in much tougher fights against much more experienced fighters. So it's not that surprising that the Ranchers lose.

Even after they lose Bravo keeps on hurting Tango with actions and words. It's no wonder that Tango realizes that the personality trait he hates so much about himself -a thing that makes him believe that he deserves all the bad stuff- is something he inherited from Bravo. It's something he only has because it comes from his 'better' counterpart. And that realisation gives him wat he needs to get through to Bravo.

Bravo's breakdown is beautiful to watch. You can see his whole beliefsystem falling apart and him having nothing to keep up his mental strength. It's so well written. For all the wrongs he's done, I never saw him as an evil person. Arrogant, biased and misguided, yes. Even so, he came to Hels with a strong sense of justice but he had to spend so much energy on just surviving that somewhere along the way he had to give it up. One can only have a survival mentality for so long before things have to give.

Tango understanding what Bravo must have been trough heartwarming. And I'm very much with him on this. Him embracing and accepting Bravo and Bravo finally accepting him is great. And now it's time for Bravo to begin his redemption arc. I absolutely love redemption arcs and -though I don't think Bravo's finished at the end of the story- this is a good one.

Timmy and Jimmy meeting each other is pretty much the opposite of Bravo and Tango meeting. No mistrust or hostility at all but mostly awe. It's nice how Tango describes it in his point of view. Timmy admitting he understand why he isn't good enough is just so sad. He knew Bravo couldn't fully accept him as he was, and he sees that his doppelgänger looks much better than him (rather objectively, being healthy beats being unkept and skin-over-bones). Jimmy basically goes all 'protective big brother' over Timmy, it's great. It's a relief that Bravo learned to (or at least started to) see Timmy as his own person.

The last scene of chapter X. It was so frustrating to wait to see wat happened next. Bravo seemed to be on Tango's side, so it would probably be a ruse. At the same time, it wouldn't have been the first time if Bravo had lost his temper and stopped being smart. I'm rather new in the fandom side of Minecraft Youtubers, so this was the first chapter I came across and the first time I had to wait for an update. I found it after someone reblogged some of Lunarcorwn's art (along with a tiny excerpt) about this chapter. I was immediately fascinated, and after the intro comic, I was sold.

The start of the next chapter doesn't give immediate resolution to a first time reader. Bravo is definitely convincing. He has to be, Atlas is not easily fooled. But knowing what's going on there seem to be small tells in how Bravo acts. Or maybe I'm just imagining things. Bravo's aggression looks like anger but is probably his newfound guilt and insecurity. He only talks to answer Atlas' questions, his speech seems more to the point while at the same time he uses more filler words.

It's interesting to see Bravo trying to trust Tango and Jimmy, while at the same time having learned to be distrustful of everything. He's really going back and forth between the two. Thankfully, Tango is understanding and shows him grace. Why does Bravo tense up when Tango mentions his friends won't attack on sight? Had he forgotten that overworld players don't tend to do that? It would probably be painful for him to realize there are things he has unlearned or forgotten.

Poor Timmy probably hasn't interacted with more that one person in ages. The Double Lifers must be very much overwhelming, especially since many of them aren't exactly low-energy players.

It's Tango's job to make sure his friends don't go with a bad -but easier- plan? Talk about role reversal.

The conversation between Bravo and Timmy by the portal is nice. I like whatever kind of relation they have, messy as it is. I'm not saying it's good, but it's interesting to read about. They each have many issues. Bravo is now aware of that, but I'm not sure if Timmy is. I'm not even sure Timmy knows what a healthy relationship looks like. They both care about each other and I think they could help each other out. But at the same time, Bravo has anger issues and biases against Hels players and hybrids and Timmy is both and probably wouldn't set any boundaries. At this moment them being together could either be healing or toxic. So I get Bravo's hesitance.

Jimmy's hostility towards Bravo is so odd to see. It's so unlike him, though it's fully earned. Tango and Bravo sharing their braincells while coming up with a plan is fun, especially since Tango has to tell his friends that every time that, yes, he is on board with what Bravo says.

I admire Tango's courtage to enact the plan. Then again it's in a way a variant on Tango's earlier plan to sacrifice himself, now it's only temporary. It's no wonder he looses his nerves and fully panics at the last moment when he is actually faced with the machine that caused most of his suffering. Once again: poor guy.

Bdubs has a point about Bravo calling others bad, but Patho literally disemboweled him so I think Bravo is being fair in his case. As for instinctSV, he barely appears in the story, so that's hard to say. But I don't think you get to lead a company in Hels by being trusting and charitable.

Grian and his Watcher abilities! This is a great moment to use his powers, especially since he so hesitant to use them. And he and Jimmy are right, this is not the moment to explain it all. This is the second time that Grian uses his silent 'Watcher voice' in a group meeting and this time there is an extra Listener around. Grian's secret is all but out.

Grian getting Mumbo to come with him with some crazy but true explanation somehow sounds like a very Grian thing to do. I love your portrayal of Mumbo. It's been a lot so it's no surprise that he needs a moment to wrap his head around it. Mumbo is a good friend, keeping how he helped/helps with Grian's eyes a secret. And Grian turned up on his redstone world? Wouldn't that be single-player? How did Grian manage that? And it's good to know that Grian told Mumbo what happend over time.

Something that stood out was that Mumbo stopped himself from tugging his mustache. The way it was worded was like a habit he tries to unlearn. It was also something Clear did but didn't seem to mind.

Tango finally understands he doesn't have to do this on his own and that he can rely on his friends. The warmth he has for the people around him here is so sweet. And he finally doesn't just want to confront his past, but actually wants to put it behind him. He still thinks that the "entire mess is solely his fault" (as if he asked for it) but he knows they will do whatever it takes to help him. "Is it really any wonder he learned how to be a good person just by knowing them?" Just beautiful! Though, is he seriously gonna give Jimmy a lecture about self-blame? That's just funny.

It's promising that Bravo corrects himself about the burned Ranch. Especially since nothing about it is even spoken out loud. He might have had a change of view, fully ingrained change requires more than that. But Bravo is willing to work on it. He does note himself that he wouldn't have been able to see Tango's influence on the interior.

It's entertaining to see how Bravo describes the Lifers, and Mumbo. The sentiment of wanting to kill Atlas is very understandable. Though Bravo is the Plan Guy, Jimmy is the leader here. He listens to Bravo because Bravo has the most expertise. But Jimmy is the one who the rest listens to, the one who keeps the conversation on track and the one who validates the plan.

Tango and Bravo realizing how much they both have changed due to were they have been living feels like something they needed. I like how they are now that they're not hostile towards each other. Bravo and Timmy's realisation neither of them is a builder is a fun parallel of Tango and Jimmy, and I'm glad Tango is there to watch it. It feels promising somehow.

Once again, Jimmy is being a leader here. Checking in, helping, dispelling fears. I highly doubt that Jimmy sees himself as a leader, though. The talk between Jimmy and Bravo is amazing. It just radiates growth and caring.

Tango in the farm. Oof. It's amazing how he is so close to drowning in despair, but still manages to find something to hold on to. And then he realizes he was strong enough to survive it all before, and that he is stronger now. It's wonderful how he let his good memories strengthen him, and that while he is currently living through his worst nightmare.

Clear not realizing Hels Tek is being invaded and said invaders being fine with Clear just continuing to do his own thing is really amusing. Clear 'recognizing' Grian is so sad. But Grian doesn't seem to have the instinctive recognition of his counterparts name, and later when said counterpart realizes Grians name, it's not his player name. That's interesting. I appreciate that Grian stays with Clear and I wonder what is said between them off screen. I hope Clear eventually realizes Grian is not Scáil.

The invasion of Hels Tak is a fun read. Overpowering the first guard went so smooth! Then the ravager just had to shake things up. It's nice that during everything, Pearl and Scott seem to have patched things up and are flawlessly working together now. Jimmy seems to notice a 'intrusive thought' cutting another off, noticing how odd that is, even if he doesn't understand wat it means. Bravo and Jimmy fighting in sync is awesome! What's also a difference between this fight and the previous is that Jimmy uses his wings while fighting. Something that wouldn't be fair in a friendly fight. Tango notices later that he fights way better when he does use his non-human-side, for Jimmy it might be the same.

It's so nice that Jimmy notices that Tango lost the fear he always carried with him. He handled the last hours in the farm well. The first time I read this part I was so worried that there wasn't any mention of breaking the respawn anchor. I couldn't imagine that they would forget while standing right in front of it. Luckily there was no need for a respawn. I had also been a little nervous about Timmy and Bravo, had they made sure they would respawn at Double Life if their spawn point got reset? (Is that even possible for Timmy with his Hells-comm?)

Sweet Jimmy does not tolerate his boyfriend being name-called. And sweet Tango won't stand for his boyfriend being hurt. They're cute like that. It's good to see that Tango being called a monster has lost its power to hurt him, no matter how hard Atlas tries. He's finally able to fully accept his mob-side. It feels good that the three of them manage to piss of Atlas so much that he finally cracks, giving Tango the closure he needs. And then what's probably the most satisfying punch in Hels' history, even inflecting permanent damage.

This is the first time Tango consciously reached out for his own fire, isn't it? His own firestorm is a beautiful thing. And powerful. I'm so happy for Tango! Atlas having to helplessly watch how Tango casually strolls to the portal is extra satisfying.

Atlas just sitting outside and letting his laboratory burn really shows how defeated he is. If he was any other person I would probably feel sorry for him. And why is he so surprised that Tango and Bravo are the ones that beat him? They're both smart people that know how he works and with plenty of reasons to hate him. Are they really that unlikely to bring him down? Or did he underestimate them because they don't have the authority to boss others around? Good thing Tango had his friends on his side and that Bravo understood the power of friendship.

And then bX has the pleasure of kicking Atlas while he's down. Must have been a great relief too, to let the hybrid-farmer know his life's work was done for.

Even for the Hermits that had known something was 'off' about Tango, finally hearing what happened must have been a shock, for the ones that didn't know yet. And for Tango it must be nice to be able to tell it on his own terms, this time. He probably knew by now that the Hermits wouldn't abandon him after telling the truth, but having conformation must still feel great. It's also great that talking about it is becoming easier.

Alisker and xB are very sweet together. Very different from how they interact with other people. I admire Alisker's long term plan and how successfully it played out. He really made sure Atlas' damage stayed limited. I just wish his plans hadn't required for Tango to be locked in the farm in the first place.

I think it's a wise choice for Bravo to take some time for himself. Processing and healing from everything that happened can be nasty, and at those times it's nice not needing to mindful of others. At the same time, part of me is worried he's gonna overcorrect himself or close himself off. I'm not sure how excluded different worlds are, and how much contact players can have through the multi-net, but I hope that Bravo stays in contact with at least Timmy. It's sweet that Bravo clearly cares about Timmy's progress as well and that he regrets they both have to take different roads to heal.

The progress Timmy has already made is wonderful to see. Not only physically, he questions Bravo's decision to go and voices his discontent. Gently, but still. It feels like he's learning how to stand up for himself. Timmy himself really wanting to grow as a person is very promising, especially as someone who represents his counterparts (*checks external authors posts*) passiveness and victimhood.

Dbubs first appearance in the main story! His and Patho's relationship is both so warm and unhealty. I love complex people and I love complex people being even more complex together, and this story is full of them! I also love it every time when players are having that instinctual recognition at the proof of existence of their counterpart on page, whether is just the name or meeting face to face.

I wonder why exactly Patho wants to leave. It's not he didn't know about them having counterparts. Why does it suddenly matter? Is it because they visited Hells? Because they visited Hells together? Because of the recognition Patho felt? Or is it something else?

False, seriously? I don't think having someone chained up like an animal is keeping you in Tango's good graces. And you basically told him it could wait until he got back, while you're holding your twin prisoner! There might be something wrong with Sym, but what's wrong with you? It sounds like an interesting story, and I definitely have questions.

Poor Scáil. His suffering might actually surpass that of Tango in the farm. And if he's been like this since he left Hels Tek, it's been more than a decade, considering they never met. How did he become like this? I know it's related to Grian almost becoming a (full) Watcher, but this can't be how this is supposed to go. And even Grian has control of his abilities. Scáil using Grian's Watcher name makes me wonder how how much player vs Watches they actually are. Grian, please check in on your counterpart.

Stress' way of talking is always fun. Her and Doc's origin is cool. And I'm curious what your interpretation of the Hivemind is. Doc not having a Hels is a big relief, considering Doc himself already loves creating game-breaking machines. That trait would be terrifying on someone with a Hels mentality, let alone an amplified version of that trait. I understand why they are conflicted about it, though.

I'm glad we finally see Instinct in person. I like him and the vibe he gives off. Atlas working for him is amazing, how far he has fallen! I hope Instinct enjoys bossing him around.

Tango making the video about Hels and how to get there surprised me when I first read it, even though it makes sense. A lot of Hels players will probably change for the better because of it. It might also wreck the Hels economy. Overworld players could give their counterparts a way out, or provide them with resources that are easy to get in a normal world.

I have so many questions about it all. Can mobs travel through portals? How would it work when someone creates a portal in a creative world? Could they just spawn in rare items (elytra's or even things like spawn eggs) and bring them to Hels? Can counterparts create hacked portals when both of them are at different places in Hels? If so, that would create fast-travel. That would be especially valuable in such a giant world.

It would probably kind of sting for Bravo to see the video. Everything he needed to know and took him a decade to figure out, quickly explained in one video, uploaded not long after he finally escaped. Not that I think he woud disagree with uploading it, it's just, where was that when he needed it?

The idea of Bravo seeing Tango's video is interesting. Bravo could see all the videos Tango made while he was trapped in Hels. All the inventions and games (first Decked Out) that Tango created, all the projects he worked on with other Hermits. Tango could see the ones that Bravo made before they switched places. He could see how Bravo acted before Hels crushed him, the friends he had back in the day and how young he was when he got trapped. I wonder if they do that, and how it influences how they see each other.

It's very nice how you worked Steve, Herobrine and Alex in this universe. Does the Hels firewall being down also mean that overworld comms now work there properly? Herobrine being Hels former admin makes sense, as the first counterpart, though I hadn't expected it. It's nice that there won't be new player condemned to spawning in Hels.

The scene with Jimmy and Tango is just lovely. The cuffs and everything they stood for were so loaded for Tango. I'm glad he's finally able to take them off, and that Jimmy understood how much it meant for his soulmate.

I love how the last paragraph is inspired by the end credits poem. And I love how it both does and does not breaks the forth wall, and the things it explains. It's a nice touch that it's in-story explained by Aqua and Lunar.

-----

And that was it. For the main story anyway. I've also read the short stories from the Hels To Pay universe, but I leave that for another time. Maybe. I liked writing this but I've had enough for now. If you actually read all of this, you have my uttermost respect.

[sleeppfordays]

The Wilds S2 bad commentary Ep3

Why does it feel like the boys island seem much more dangerous than the girls (obvi not including that fucking shark) it seems like Gretchens experiment is biase af something that we already know

Also ngl I would have thrown that fucking water at Gretchen’s face

“Does she know that is was out there?” 100% she wanted those kids to be shish kebabs

IM STILL CONFUSED ON THE WHOLE SHONI SITUATION, THEY CUDDLING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?? DID WE NOT GET A FUCKING REVEALED? DID SHE JUST MOVED ON FROM THE YEARS OF TRAUMA SHE EXPERIENCE FROM HER OWN FATHER?? WTF IS GOING ON IM MISSING CHAPTERS NAH SCRATCH THAT A WHOLE FUCKING BOOK

DOMESTIC TONI

The tree we saw in those leaks?

ALSO THE FUCKING TRIVIA: FYI Nora always made her bed (they trying to make me fucking sob)

Gretchen writing like Amber Fucking Heard

The Progressive Lady? Bo wtf AHAHAHAHHA

SHELBY’S LITTLE WHERE YOU GOING? AKSJAKDJSJ MY HEART

A signed out sheet, totes mom energy

RACHEL AND LEAH a pairing I never knew a needed, fucking love them

And she’s writing in Nora’s books BEACH IM SOBBING

“Gorgeous eye catching hair” the fucking sass I love him

When I saw someone drawing I almost screamed cause I thought it was Nora

Okay ngl Henry is kinda getting on my nerves but good dam he did not need to almost drown him

Seth making something on the spot to validate why he almost killed Henry, fucking psychotic, but also kinda funny??

”You’ll be such a hot carpenter” BEACH IM SCREAMING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH the hype man energy they keep to support each other 🤌

Fatin and Martha? Another unexpected pairing and I love it, love that they’re giving us all these pairings that are not the usual ones

I love the transition from masturbation to the boys standing on a fucking ledge

He just called him “Karen”

Henry’s personality doing a full 180 is a bit of a whiplash

Shelby worrying so much about Toni makes me feel so lonely but holy shit it is so wholesome

THE LIP BITE AND PULL AKDJAKDJSKXJ

Seth literally change the morals of the group is such a Shelby thing

Not him actually peeing on the ledge

I love Bo and Scotty’s relationship, family doesnt define blood just like Martha and Toni

RACHELS FACE WHEN LEAHS VOICE CHANGED FOR THE PERFORMANCE

They practiced for 2 hours AHAHAHHA

Ngl I thought they were going to bust Raise a Glass

THE SINGING IS BACK

OMFG I THOUGHT LEAH WAS GOING TO KISS FATIN

MARTHA IS DANCING THIS ISNT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE CALM DOWN, CALM THE FUCK DOWN

THE SHONI SLOWMO

The boat, I see the angst coming

“Its just you and me” making me cry out here

And that concludes Ep3 of S2! Let me know which format y’all like best! I hope you guys are enjoying it as much as I am!

Episode 4 here we come!

[storiesofsvu]

5,9,32!

5. What fanfic of yours should everyone have read?

CENSURED! (Casey x reader). It’s like my lil baby. I don’t know why i love it so much, it’s got such a good balance of smut, fluff, a bff/work partner of Carisi who’s obvi the most supporting friend ever, a CHAOTIC relationship with Aunt/(low key step mom) Rita, a teeny bit of angst and surprisingly a lot of my personal life?? Like, some of it was planned and some of it snuck its way in there without me even realizing it.

Otherwise I’d say Hidden Desires, cause it covers questioning sexuality, suuuuuper smutty scenes, absolute fucking heartbreak, trying to get over it, getting over it and then the conclusion when Alex “comes back from the dead”.

And Her Everything series, again, it covers a lot, I mean, it literally spans 10 years, but it has some smut, some adorable fluff, a lot of episode related shit, and then the angst of Barba leaving and him returning 4 years later to find out he has a kid. Barba’s such a complex character already that I do love writing more series style stuff for him and this gave me that opportunity.

9. What are your favourite fanfics?

Aw man. There’s SO MANY that I’ve read that are absolutely amazing that I don’t have bookmarked/couldn’t even tell you the usernames. @ghostwritingcabenson has some INCREDIBLE stuff that I absolutely adore, @aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide series Evocations is BEAUTIFULLY written and delves into Cabenson so amazingly well. @littlelemonkey has a Calex fic that I am OBSESSED with, like the slow burn??? The power they hold to be able to do it so well, like, holy hell i can make it like, 3 chapters before the slow burn is over lol. There’s another ao3 author who I can’t remember the name of who writes a lot of Rita/Amanda and it’s a ship i wasn’t into at first, but like, damn. And of course there’s a million other one shots/fics out there that I just can’t fucking remember, or remember exactly who wrote them cause it was a time when I’d first gotten back into tumblr and into the fandom and wasn’t mutuals with people yet. I legit have so many Masterlists bookmarked to re-read stuff now lolol

32. Past or present tense?

Present? (How bad is it that i had to google that to double check lolololol. To think i was once in IB English....) 😂

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Holy Obedience | Feeding Habits Update #4

Hey People of Earth! Today we’ll be chatting chapter five of Feeding Habits, aka Holy Obedience. TW: animal cruelty, blood, suicide, toxic relationships.

This chapter is the last in Lonan’s POV and a direct continuation of chapter four. I was getting a little burned out as this was toward the end of my 10k word week a few weeks ago, but overall, it definitely achieves what I was hoping for!

Scene A:

Eliza and Lonan chat about secrets which gets intense when Eliza prompts Lonan to burn Harrison’s guardian angel necklace & a few polaroids that were taken as a small easter egg from one of the mini stories!

Lonan grabs everything out in time with minimal damage

Scene B:

Lonan finally burns down his father’s darkroom.

Scene C:

Lonan emerges from the woods and approaches the cabin. Eliza sits on the veranda tending to a dead rabbit she claims she “found”. What happened in the previous memory in ch. 4 of Lonan and his father utilizing the ikijime technique to kill the fish mirrors with the rabbit, despite it actually being dead.

Lonan and Eliza take a drive and talk about the very different lessons they each learned from Lonan’s father

Eliza hits the accelerator and drives the car into the lake. Her fate is left unspecified, whereas he gets out relatively unscathed.

Excerpts:

Here’s this very tender romantical description because I indulge myself obvi:

The last time he saw Harrison, he knew they would not see each other for a very long time after. Sun haloed him. Pinged of his eyes so they shone like gemstones. The earring he’d gifted him from his mother’s collection twirled, mindless, like the surface of a mirror ball. He didn’t forget that image—his lover a painting of the sun, an offering he was lucky to have, if only temporary. As he gurgles at the face of the fire, he doesn’t forget that feeling—the warmth not against his face, but in the pith of his throat, jittering like the wings of a hummingbird. As he shifts forward, closer to the fire, a hand secures around his shirt collar. At first, he’s convinced what he’s seeing will be the last he ever sees—the magnificence of heat. But it’s when he feels its heaviness with a clank against the stone as the clasp comes undone that he understands.

When he turns around, Eliza holds Harrison’s guardian angel in her palm. The chain noosed carelessly around the angel’s throat.

This kind of epic sequence of Lonan yeeting away the darkroom ft a subtle Houses With Teeth reference??:

Lonan will burn down the darkroom one-handed. He hustles through the rain and forest brush with the gas can, the flashlight pricked between his teeth. The woodland seems so irrelevant at night; moonlight pares through clumps of deciduous trees; rain blisters from the opaque clouds; a ground animal, perhaps a raccoon, or squirrel, scampers up a redwood and into its hollow. It’s lost its energy, replaced with irrelevant, forgettable details. But still he moves with conviction, weaving between tree trunks like he’s the one who put them there.

His second reunion with the darkroom is not something of the fantastic. He’s done his time staring at it like it’s got teeth, strong incisors that will nick him if he looks at it the wrong way. When he arrives at its pathway, rain prowling down his cheeks, his left hand wrapped hastily in the eucalyptus towel, he has not come for reconciliation.

Gasoline could substitute the Pacific, he thinks as he unscrews the bottle’s cap and lugs liquid onto nearing brush, smothering the wildflowers needling through the shed’s concrete platform. It moves the same, sounds the same, does the same thing—spreads. He leaves no square foot untouched with fuel. He douses the doorway, its shattered windows, even the individual holes in its hardwood floor. He dresses the darkroom in gasoline and doesn’t blink when he pulls his lighter from his pocket and sets it on fire.

Here’s when Lonan approaches the cabin and first sees the dead rabbit:

Lonan arrives back at the cabin a half hour later, smelling like soot and wet earth. He expects to see Eliza inside, turning over the last bits of scorched wood with the fire iron. Drinking a bottle of red wine turned to vinegar by herself, the cork neatly pushed in the centre of the hearth. But when he approaches the cabin, tracking up rain and dirt, Eliza is not inside.

She sits on the veranda, stooped over the glass worktable, her hands fumbling against the head of a rabbit. There is no question the animal is dead. It’s small, just bigger than the length of her palm, its grey fur gone cobalt with rain. Its head lolls against the frost of the glass. There is no bringing it back to life.

“Where did you find that?” Lonan asks. He wrings his hair of rainwater knowing it will get soaked again before another minute passes.

“It washed up.” She strokes its ear, examines its fur with her thumb and middle finger, as if tending to cashmere.

Lonan impales the rabbit in the same way he impaled the previous chapter’s fish and this is what happens after that. We also get a hint at why the chapter is called Holy Obedience:

“Do you do everything in the name of your father?”

“Obedience is an act of love.”

“Burning down his darkroom is not what he would’ve wanted.” Eliza pulls her arms close to her chest, gnaws on a bloody hangnail.

“That’s what I wanted.”

“Then you have two conflicting agendas.”

“Isn’t killing the rabbit what you wanted? Aren’t you vegetarian, Eliza? Aren’t those two conflicting agendas?”

Eliza taps the hilt of the knife, fully upright in the rabbit’s skull. Her lips purse. Her posture straightens. She wipes her mouth with the clean plane of her forearm. When she deescalates the veranda’s steps and walks past him, he doesn’t follow her at first. He watches her back, the way her hair flutters before sinking with the rain. How blood drips off her fingertips and onto the dirt driveway, pinkish, like the colour a child might want their wall.

And the fateful drive begins, ft. a scene I repurposed from the old ch.2:

Loam gives under the car’s wheels, sputters up onto the windows as she backs the car onto a dirt path. He does not ask where she’s going. Even as they drive deeper into the thicket of trees, branches combing the windshield, paths he’s never been, he does not ask.

“What other things did your father teach you?” she asks after some time dozing through the woods.

Eliza’s hung a lucky rabbit’s foot from the rear-view mirror, tannish fur that whitens when Lonan reaches and turns it over.

“This isn’t vegetarian,” he says, scales the foot with his fingernail, bloodying it just as the rabbit on the veranda. Its ball chain clatters with every brush of his finger, the sharp jut of its cap, neatly carved into the head of a rabbit, prickling against his finger. Rain clatters against the window, each drop’s shadow inking his jeans, arms. “Genesis. How to kill a fish. The easiest places to be caught when you run.”

Me leaving the city haha:

They parse through trees, bushes, and Lonan knows each species even without looking, and the longer she doesn’t answer, the more insistent he becomes at stating them aloud. “Red alder. Pacific dogwood. Cascara. Ponderosa pine,” he says.

Here are the final two paragraphs. Fun fact, I stole “holy vengeance” from myself which appears in one of the later chapters in Rewired.

The next time Eliza presses the accelerator, it’s with a holy vengeance. As if something guides her, her heel gorging into the pedal. They move so quickly, Lonan doesn’t know when the forest ends and where the beach starts—it all melds, a mosaic of vague landscapes. He doesn’t know when he reaches for the rabbit’s foot hanging from the mirror and holds it to his chest, like he knows what she’ll do. Even before she says, “I always wanted to be buried by cattails,” even before the car’s wheels whir over sand, driftwood, strings of kelp, even before they dive head-first into the lake, he knows.

Crashing into water sounds like rising to heaven. He doesn’t know why this is the first connection he makes, or why all he visualizes as the car sinks is the wisp of white clouds, the balmy lift of air that hikes him through the sky. Even though the water is dark, all he sees is light, crisp and glittering from above. As he ascends, he turns to look for Eliza, and there she is, slumped over the wheel, a stroke of blood dripping into her mouth. He is weightless when he stabs the cap of the rabbit’s foot into the corner of the window so it splinters. Weightless when he inhales and pushes through the broken glass like it’s Peter’s gate and he’s a step away from salvation. Weightless when he paddles through the water like a sunfish, his body ready for this, good at this, as he holds his breath. Weightless when the car sinks, and his head breaches the water like an orca, weightless when he opens his mouth to the storm and exclaims his hallelujah, his new beginning, his ultimate baptism.

That’s it for this update! I will be back sooner rather than later as I recently completed chapter six, but that’s a wrap on Lonan’s POV y’all!

--Rachel

[underwaterdogballs]

The Birth House - Ami McKay

[ im only a new reader, so im still working on the reading daily thing ]

time it took me - 2-3 days (i was really into it lol)

published - 2006

pages - 368

TW for book: physical abuse, sexual abuse, sex scenes, sexism, violence, teen pregnancy + birth

chapters - 47 + epilogue, and there are notes from the Willow Book at the end (i actually typed the whole thing up lmao ( x ) )

genre - historical / realistic fiction

5/5 stars (but my standards are really fucking low, so don’t trust me)

honest opinion - I loved it. It was a great book for me. I loved the MC (stands for Main Character), and it was just a great book all around. I can't put my opinion into words, but I'd highly recommend it, but if you've faced sexual abuse and/or teen pregnancy I might pass it up, as it may be triggering.

basic summary (no major spoilers) (im writing this 3-4 months after reading the book, so sorry if a bit inaccurate) - 

Takes place in 1910s-1920s (WWI), Nova Scotia. Basically Dora Rare (first daughter in 5 generations of Rares), is drawn to Miss Babineau, a midwife and eventually after a few years becomes a midwife herself. But soon Dr. Gilbert Thomas, comes by and brings promises of quick, painless birth, and now many people start to question Babineau’s methods. Miss B disappears, and now Dora has to fight for her traditions. 

in depth ‘summary’ (spoilers. and a whole lot of them) !!CW!! physical abuse, sexual abuse(?), few sex scenes - 

Alrightie, buckle up.

“On the evening of a full moon in June, Silent went out in his canoe to catch the shad that were spawning around the tip of Cape Split. As the night wore on, Annie began to worry that some ill had befallen her love. . . . She walked to the cove where they had first met and began to call to him, promising her heart, her fidelity and a thousand loves to his name. The moon, seeing Annie’s sadness, began to sing, forcing the waves inland, strong and fast, bringing Silent safely back to his lover. Since that time, every child born from the Rare name has been male, and even now, when the moon is full, you can hear her voice, the voice of the moon, singing sailors home.” < why all Rare children have been men (for past 5 gen) >

Dora Rare is the only daughter in 5 generations of Rares. When Dora is first mentioned, she is 17 years old, and has 6 older brothers. Marie Babineau drags Dora to Mrs. Experience Ketch’s 13th kid, which would be a very prominent memory. Anyway if she didn’t give birth to this child today, she’d die. So she did, but she did not want her child. She pushed him away. So he died. Mr. Ketch is not deserving to be called a father, but here we are. Being the 1910s, he was a sexist wanker. “’I don’t trust nothin’ that can’t piss standin’ up.”’ like bitch who the fuck do you think you are?? 

Mrs. Ketch is a victim of serious domestic abuse, if the amount of children didn’t tell you otherwise (women can choose to have this many children, but... holy fuck.)

Archer, someone who Dora is sorta fond of (its been a while, dont remember her feelings), didn’t wish to fight in the war, but Grace and Precious really didn’t fucking like that. “’If I could, I’d march through Europe myself, killing Huns right and left, gutting them with a bayonet and crushing their skulls with the heel of my boot. But I can’t, and neither can any other woman who might wish for victory over evil... and neither can these boys who are too young to serve their king.’ She glared at Archer. ’But you can’” Mate. Take notes from Mulan. Masquerade as a man and beat them all. Fucking coward.

After Archer drags Dora to an empty room, Dora starts to become a horny fuck, and he begins undressing her, she mentions that that was her first kiss, and this Archer hoe backs off, and leaves.

Dr. Thomas comes bearing promises of quick and painless births. He makes Miss B and Dora seem like they’re using wooden tools and sawing a woman in half to get her baby out and taping her back together. Like stfu.

Well, a chapter or 2 later, Dora learns that she is marrying Archer, and she can’t refuse it. 

A couple pages later, on the start of chapter 18, B orders Dora to get her 2 long-handled spoons and to grease them up with tallow, to get a teacup cover out from Grace Hutner’s sweet spot, cause she’s a horndog.

On the day before their wedding night, Archer wants Dora to give him a bj. A motherfucking blowjob. As a thanks for the permission to marry him. 

“Come on, Dorrie. Just get on your knees. It won’t take long, no one needs to know. Now open up that mouth and take me in.” im not even going to say anything.

Anyway, the day before Dora has to marry Archer Bigelow, Miss B dies. :(

Archer wants Dora to give up the midwifery stuff (i think its sorta cool tbh, but k mate). This horny fuck wants sex every damn night. The book mentions the ‘supposed to hurt the first time’ and ‘breaking a woman in’ and just to let you know, the book talks like this bc it’s set in the 1910s-1920s, but irl, it doesn’t have to hurt the first time, i don’t think (but i havent fucked yet, and i dont plan to so idk), and breaking a woman in makes it sound like an object of some sort. 

On page 174, Archer attempts to punch her, but he misses and makes a hole in the wall. 

Dora gives in to sex when she doesn’t want to, and bc of her ‘obligations as a wife’  he treats her more like a sex toy than a human being. (not every guy is a piece of shit in this book, just most of them)

She heads to Dr. Thomas through a friend or her familys advice, and is diagnosed with hysteria, which is probably just ignored horniness, or a high libido or smth, the Doc basically uses a vibrator thing on her and the book states it’s better than what she’s felt in the arms of her husband.

(im wrapping this up cause my fingers are cold)

Influenza starts to pop up, and after Dora is outcasted for her practices, she goes to one of her older brothers.

Brady Ketch, husband of Experience Ketch, dumps his beat up and bruised pregnant 13-year old daughter on Dora’s doorstep, she dies, but delivers a perfectly healthy baby that Dora adopts as her own, and names Winnie/Wennie or whatever the fuck her name was.

After she comes back, she turns back to midwifery, and bars Dr. Thomas with a pitchfork after he attempts to interrupt a delivery (not Ketch’s daughter, as she died in childbirth) (obvi)

Archer dies out in sea, after Dora didn’t give him a thing known for protecting sailors from drowning and to bring them home safe and sound. But Archer has a brother, Hart, and claimed that he always had feelings for her, and he was disgusted at how he treated her. Dora doesn’t marry him, but stays as his lover. Also, the epilogue is about electricity coming to Scots Bay.

[chelsfic]

Part Seven - Wish You Weren’t Here - Diego Jiménez x Reader - Starz Power fanfic

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

A/N: I totally promised some Diego-Piglet interaction and did *not* deliver. But don’t worry there will be some soon. 

Warnings: This chapter is just SMUT, Unprotected sex, Gun kink!, Angst (obvi)

------ Diego is in your apartment. 

He’s wearing a silk button down and tight pants and shoes that probably cost more than your sofa and he’s standing in your little shabby apartment looking out of place and like he has no idea why he came. 

“You actually came,” you laugh nervously, fiddling with the hem of the short dress you threw on when he texted. It’s flouncy and thin and short and still extremely conservative compared to the get ups that Diego’s usual...companions...wear. When you ransacked your closet, you kept hearing the echo of Diego’s words from earlier today, Would it kill you to wear something with a little more...access?

You watch Diego’s eyes drift down to the short hemline of the dress, trailing down your bare legs. You feel a thrill go through you thinking that he likes what he sees. He steps forward and drags his hands up your sides, letting the fabric of the dress gather and ride up until your ass is nearly exposed. 

“I had some unfinished business…”

***

The Chinese food sits cooling on your kitchen counter as Diego pulls you onto his lap. Your legs straddle him, the thin material of your dress riding up to reveal your shapely thighs hugging his pelvis. Diego skims his hands up your bare thighs, ghosting over the fabric of your silk panties and diving around to palm your ass. You let out a strangled moan and buck against the obvious bulge of his erection. The friction of his jeans rubbing you through your thin panties sends spikes of quivering pleasure through your bloodstream. You’ve never felt this lost to your desire before. You need him. You crave him. Like an addiction. You know he’s bad for you. You know he’ll only hurt you. But you don’t care.

“Baby,��� you whisper, dropping forward to press your hungry lips to his. He obliges, returning the kiss with a bruising force, twisting his fingers into the hair at the back of your neck and angling your head to his liking. 

When he pulls away you’re gasping for breath. His voice is rough as he replies, “I’m not your baby, niñita. I’m your papi.”

Holy fucking shit. The sound you make in response to his words is only discernible to bats and dolphins. How does he do this to you? You’re like putty in his hands. One minute you’re a rational, logical being. The next you’re only capable of thinking with your vagina. You wonder if this is how men feel all the time…

“Diego...papi…” you feel shy using the erotic pet name, but Diego’s feral growl in response gives you confidence. “I need you…”

You grind against him, your hips hugging his, desperate for more contact, desperate to have him inside you. Like, now. Diego squirms a little and reaches behind him.

“Hold on,” he grunts and pulls the golden gun out of the back of his pants, placing it innocently beside you on the couch. He takes your face in his hands and tries to guide you back to his lips but your eyes are caught on the gleaming, gold menace sitting like a memento mori on your couch cushion.

“Uhh…” Diego trails his fingers along the collar of your dress, tugging and testing the material before dragging it down your arms and baring your chest. He’s about to unclasp your bra when you brush him away, “Wait! Diego, can you just--maybe move the gun to the coffee table. Or the kitchen. Or some place far away from me?”

Diego looks up at you and something in your face stills him, throwing cold water over his fevered skin. 

He stares at you as he reaches out for the gun and doesn’t miss when you tense as his hand wraps around the grip.

“You’re scared of me?” his voice is husky, his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows some unwelcome, foreign emotion.

“Not…” you clear your throat, squirming in his lap, still very much aroused-- “not exactly. I just don’t like...the gun.”

Your mind flashes back to the day you walked in on Diego about to kill a man. He meant to kill you that day. You can’t forget the press of the still-warm gun against your cheek. You swallow back your own emotions. You really don’t want this to be a thing.

You lean forward and rest your forehead against Diego’s, capturing his gaze, “Just put it away so we can keep…”

You roll your hips against him and Diego drags in a ragged breath through parted lips, but he stills you with a hand to your hip. 

“Watch this,” he orders and releases the magazine from the handgun, leaning forward to set it on the coffee table. He brandishes the unloaded gun between you. “It can’t hurt you, querida. And I...I won’t hurt you.”

Liar. You know Diego won’t physically harm you. But emotionally? He’s a bomb waiting to go off. Still...he makes you feel like you’re the sexiest version of yourself...

“Take it,” he says, handing the gun to you, wrapping your fingers around the handle with his own. Even unloaded, you can’t help but think about its capacity for violence. You weigh it your hands, turning it this way and that. As you inspect it, Diego’s fingers creep along your inner thighs and delve beneath the fabric of your panties. They slide into your slick wetness and he chuckles softly, “So wet for me. You think you’re ready for me? Hmm?”

Diego’s eyes gleam with cheeky arrogance. In a moment of inspiration you press the muzzle of the gun to the sensitive skin beneath his jaw and lean into his lips, “Why don’t you get me ready for you, Diego?”

The moan that Diego lets out is broken. The image of you holding him at gunpoint while he pleasures you is too much. He never would have imagined when he first hired a nervous, drab housekeeper that he was really hiring a secret nymph capable of taking him apart. He slides his fingers through your folds, slicking them in your wetness before thrusting two inside of you with a jerk of his wrist. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, pressing the gun harder to Diego’s neck.

“So tight,” Diego grumbles, pistoning his hand against your core. “It’s been a while, huh?”

You nod your head absentmindedly. Your grip on the gun loosens and you let it fall to his shoulder as you ride his fingers. 

“So eager,” he whispers, his eyes are locked on your face, watching you moan and cry as you fuck yourself on his hand. “You can’t wait to have my cock inside you, huh?”

You groan loader, rubbing and thrusting and desperate for more. The gun slips from your fingers entirely and Diego picks it up with his free hand. He brings the muzzle up to your face and lets the cool metal trace down the column of your neck and circle around your breasts. You gasp and your eyes open wide as he presses the muzzle under the fabric of your bra and brings it up against your straining, taught nipple.

Shock and pleasure rip through you. Diego smirks smugly and continues his path, dragging the gun along your round belly and trailing south. He slips his fingers out of you and you mewl in protest, but he shushes you, replacing his fingers with the lethal muzzle of the gun, sliding it carefully and gently against your clit and all the while watching your face.

At first you’re tense, staring down at him with uncertainty. But Diego’s gun is like an extension of his body. He uses it expertly, pulsing the warming metal against your core gently but firmly until your body starts responding again. Slow, shy at first, you start to roll your hips, grinding your wet pussy against the weapon that’s killed countless people. Clutching the shoulders of the man responsible for those kills.

“I knew you’d like this, little girl,” Diego growls, his voice dark and filthy. “I knew you secretly wanted me to use this gun on you. Didn’t you?”

Your mind is mush and you’ll say anything if he’ll keep rubbing you, “Yes, Diego!”

Diego reaches up with his free hand and slaps your breast playfully before rubbing his calloused fingers over your nipple. The extra sensation sends a shivering spike of pleasure through you and you feel your peak coming.

Your eyes have drifted shut but Diego slaps you again on the cheek to get you to open them, “Look, bonita. Watch me fuck you with my gun. If you don’t come--right now--what should I do with you, hmm? I’ll load this fucking gun and make you suck it.”

What the fuck? Why are you so turned on by this? God, Diego is an animal. And you--apparently--love it. It doesn’t matter and you don’t have to worry about Diego loading the gun because a second later you’re crying out and crumpling against him as your orgasm shocks through your system. 

Diego doesn’t allow you a second to recover before he’s flipping you onto your back on the couch and frantically unbuckling his belt. You gaze up at him through lust-blurred vision and notice that his hands are shaking as he shoves down his pants. Then you’re a little distracted because he’s lining up his massive erection and pressing into you slowly, burying his face in the crook of your neck and groaning against your skin.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear. He raises up and captures your lips in a searing kiss as he thrusts fully inside of you. The stretch of him is a delicious pain and you moan into the kiss. Diego’s hands cup your face and his touch is impossibly gentle given he was threatening to make you suck off his loaded gun only a moment ago. You hug his hips with your thighs, locking your legs around his waist as he rolls against you.

It’s your turn to watch Diego’s face. He’s so vulnerable in this moment, completely unguarded. His eyes slip closed and his lips part as his breath stutters with the effort of controlling his vicious lust. And all the while he’s whispering, “You’re so good, Y/N. How can you be so--nngh! I’m gonna ruin you. I’ll ruin you, Y/N and you’ll let me, won’t you?”

His hips pick up pace and he cradles your body against him as he pounds into you with bruising force. You’re reeling mentally even as your body ramps up for a second orgasm. On the surface his words sound like typical Diego dirty talk. But something in his voice and the way he’s touching you with such reverence makes you think he really means what he’s saying. He’ll ruin you. He doesn’t want to, but he knows he will.

You rub your hands down his muscled back and answer him, firmly, “You won’t ruin me, Diego.”

He looks at you and in his eyes there is longing mixed with terror. His lips tremble and his eyes flood with unshed tears. He hides his face in your neck as he answers, “Yes...I will. I ruin...everything...I--I…”

His orgasm tears through him like an explosion and yours follows soon after. Lights dance in your eyes and you clench your thighs around Diego, tightening your arms around his shoulders and holding him in place so he can’t escape. You’re feeling...warm, fuzzy feelings that you absolutely must not put into words. It’s just your body chemistry tricking you. The fact that Diego is clutching you just as tightly and there are little shivers shaking his shoulders is not helping your resolve. 

“You’re good, Diego,” you whisper into his ear, stroking your fingers through his hair. But the lie tastes like copper on your tongue. Is he a good man? Really? Do you care?

“No…” he answers, nuzzling his stubbled cheek against you, “I’m not…”

Tags:

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[scatterpatter]

Some expanded thoughts on FF7R under the cut [SPOILERS]

So! Overall I freaking LOVED the remake and I can’t wait to see the rest! Midgar feels so alive and expanded, you really feel attached to everyone, it’s... muah! Honestly a lot of the points I’m gonna make are more nitpicks than anything. I won’t make any commentary on the gameplay because I watched a let’s play instead of playing by myself(im broke and cant afford a PS4 and $60 game >_>)

So the designs are GORGEOUS... no, the entire GAME is gorgeous. Midgar looks so good and detailed, there’s so much great implementation of color theory! Cloud is sooooo good looking!!! Barret and Aerith and Sephiroth are all GORGEOUS! Reno Rude Tseng and Rufus.. AAAA!!! The only slight complain I have is that- okay so Tifa looks AWESOME, but I honestly wish she wasn’t so skinny. Like she’s a melee fighter, but her waist and arms are so thin! I wish they gave her a bit more tone and muscle, but, oh well. I honestly can’t stop staring at the character models they look SO good

Plot-wise, I really like most of the changes/additions they made! Especially with Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. They’re wonderful and I love them and did I mention that I love them because they’re just so dorky!!! And good!!!

Honestly, I like that Aerith is actually written to be likeable. I know that doesn’t seem like much but a lot of games fall into the trap of telling you that you’re supposed to like the female protag(looking at you, Breath of the Wild) or tell you that she’s a strong character, but they fail to show that, so the player feels like they’re just being told to get attached. Aerith, though, is actually really likeable in this game!!! She’s cute and down-to-earth, really dorky and even snarky, easily seeing past Cloud’s tough-guy act, and she can fight! It’s just so nice to see a game that shows a strong female protag instead of just telling you.

Legit everyone is horny for Cloud and I’m so here for it

Okay so like. I love Roche. I didn’t at first but he quickly grew on me. He’s so awfully chaotic and I just- I love him. I’m mad that he was just kinda forgotten, though. Like! He could’ve shown up at the ending chase!!!

THEY REALLY WROTE HOJO TO BE AS CREEPY AS POSSIBLE HUH. Like I’m not complaining because like he’s basically the reason why everything happened, but! Ahhhh he makes me squirm he’s a creep with a gross science fetish and I wanna stab himmmmm

Okay so. President Shinra is a little bit TOO stereotypically evil? Like having a gold statue of himself and not even caring about sabotaging one of his own reactors when one little console gets destroyed??? Like it’s almost comical how evil he’s written to be. Though, I do like the scene where he calls Barret out on his ideals, that was neat!

Nowww, Heidegger Scarlet Palmer and Reeve? MUAH. Heidegger and Scarlet are written so sadistically but like in such a likeable way, especially Heidegger. God I hate them both but you just love to hate them!!! Palmer is HILARIOUS- I love how he’s written to be the spoiled kid whose parents forced the other kids to include him so he’s just there even though he doesn’t do anything. And Reeve? Well...

SO REEVE IS MY FAVORITE ATM SINCE WE DON’T HAVE VINCENT YET, AND REEVE IS JUST... <3 <3 <3 Okay so first off, his design is perfect. He doesn’t really stand out in the same way that Heidegger Scarlet and Palmer do. He just has a normal build, normal suit, normal hair slicked back- he just looks like a normal employee, totally inconspicuous... which is very fitting considering how he ends up being undercover and needs to look inconspicuous ;)

Though Reeve shows clear signs of overworking himself and being emotionally abused by his coworkers which... sucks. I mean it’s good writing but I feel so awful for him- Like you know it’s bad when someone just has to hold up a hand to get you to shut up and sit down. I like that he tries to do good things but steps down when he’s told to, that he’s empathetic but cowardly. It does a great job at setting up his character arc in future chapters <3

Okay so one thing- I thought the build-up for the plate dropping was amazing, but honestly... the plate itself falling was slightly underwhelming, to be completely honest. Like- I just didn’t feel the impact that a plate falling would have! Mainly because, you don’t see a single death which is interesting. Like you see people running from falling debris, but legit not a single death is implied. Honestly? I thought the scene would have been far more impactful if they showed:

Seventh Heaven actually being destroyed

The people topside reacting to the ground beneath them collapsing and them falling to their deaths(They only tried to evacuate Sector 7 slums! Not the topside!!!)

More people actually being implied to have been crushed(No, Im not counting Wedge). Like in the original FF7 there’s a scene where someone’s watching tv and you see the plate falling from outside the window- and there’s a reporter just doing his normal shit before he suddenly looks up and things go to static- like- thats an intense scene and I wish the remake did more stuff like that!

They do great showing people REACTING to the plate falling which is why its so appalling to me that they dont show much of the actual devastation DURING plate fall

I LOVE that Cait Sith shows up at the plate falling! It shows that Reeve actually tried to warn people(something he asked to do and was denied earlier), even if he was too late. The only problem I have is that new players who dont know who Cait Sith is will be horribly confused as to who and why he’s there???

Also, when the crew goes back to Sector 7, you don’t really... feel the impact right away. Keep in mind, an entire section of city just fell onto another section of city WITH the supports holding it up, there should have been way more rubble. Yet, the area where Seventh Heaven is just... looks like it was hit with a major earthquake. There should be way more rubble, like mountains of it. It’s weird since the opening cinematic really captures the scope of how huge Midgar is, but the plate falling just doesn’t really show the scope of how much devastation there was to losing an entire plate.

The scope of it is done a bit better when climbing up Sector 7, but I still feel like the weight and scope of destruction isn’t lived up to its full potential.

Okay so- Wedge and Biggs. ... Yeah, it takes away from the impact of their deaths to have them not die. I mean, I can’t make a total opinion on this just yet, because the other parts haven’t come out yet, but... if FF7R is gonna keep them alive, they better have a good reason for it tbh.

They might have done a little bit too much foreshadowing with Cloud and Aerith? Like I like Cloud having memory issues, it’s kept pretty vague... but him going “Mother?” with Jenova is a little bit too spoiler-y. Like yeah you gotta tease his whole thing but like- don’t give it away this soon!!!

I also don’t mind Seph showing up as much as he does. Like, in the original, you don’t even hear about him until close to the end of the Midgar arc. Obvi since the remake ONLY covers the Midgar arc so far, I totally understand bringing him in sooner. Again, having the clones existing might be a little too spoilery for the big twists later on, but I can let it slide since it’s still treated as very “wtf” and I’m sure anyone new to the story hasn’t put it together yet.

Did I mention how much I love Seph he’s so creepy and his eyes are gorgeous and he’s so intimidating by just being there

And the Whispers... I honestly didn’t like them. I kept forgetting that they existed honestly. They just feel so... detached from the plot. I don’t mind adding new content/story, but the Whispers just... didn’t feel well-implemented. They also felt really campy towards the end. Like, the fact that they could un-stab Barret and shield Avalanche from car accidents while they were escaping? They were legit like “no you can’t die even if you tried because fate” and takes away any tension of the scene because... well, they know they cant die.

That being said, the ending was interesting. I uh. It was interesting! So they actually defeat fate itself in order to change... who knows what. The future, maybe even the past??? I’ve got many thoughts on this

If the future is changed, that can be exciting since people who know the original’s plot won’t know what’s gonna happen next so like- okay!

If the past was changed... y’all know I’m talking about Zack. Was fate changed so that he could live? Keep in mind, we see Whispers surrounding Midgar before they dissipate and Zack’s like “ohey did I get all of em?”, implying that fate would have forbade Zack from ever getting to Midgar. Having the team defeat fate means... Zack may have now reached Midgar. 

Is alternate reality/timeline stuff going to happen now???

Cloud’s character revolves around Zack dying. What’ll happen to Cloud now???

I feel so bad for people new to the plot who don’t know who Zack is.

Nomura... you madman.

So with the ending... Nomura and Squenix is setting something up. They’re going for something huge. I uh. I fear, honestly! Because this could very likely get WAY too ambitious and WAY too confusing(Think Dream Drop Distance’s bullshit plot), and could totally fall on its face and end up being Squenix’s biggest flop of all time. But... if this succeeds and they actually pull off whatever they’re trying to pull... holy shit. I would be floored.

I honestly am a bit afraid that the plot will be too confusing for new players. Like- no one would know whats going on with Zack unless they knew the original plot, so like while this would be a great game for FF7 fans, I’m really worried that it won’t be a good game for people new to the series.

Cloud in a dress is the greatest thing and I’m so happy they kept that scene I love him so much the entire scene is so queer <3

But overall, despite some nitpicks, it was a SUPER SOLID game and I’m soooo hype to see where they go with it! I wanna see Cait and Yuffie and Cid and Vincent!!!!!!!!!

[developmenthole]

The Price of Aetherium: Outline

The Price of Aetherium was a retconed story arc for Pythia, until I overhauled her. I’m too proud of it to delete it, so i’m posting it here. This is the outline of the story, which gets wordy at points. 

Part 1 Nightmares

Done

Part 2 Reunions

Done

Part 3 Ozymandias

team leaves early in the morning 5am ish all on horseback. pyth, saulian and andoryan have cyrodiilic horses, do’kikhtar and motabe ended up buying  draft horses once reaching skyrim bc she knew it would be easier going back that way. brief description of traveling, mostly uneventful and nonstop.

once outside the ruins, the horses start getting nervous bc of the tremors. they dismount and tie the horses to a tree nearby or to some of the dwemer hitches. theyre all achy and hella sore, and andoryan bitches the most obvi, pyth and saul deal with it and do kinda agrees that shes stiff as fuck. a tremor shakes the ground and they all get a bit nervous, wondering if its safe or not. they got all the way here theres no way they're turning back now after coming all this way,

they head inside explore a bit and find katrias body but her ghost dosent show up bc saul radiates holy but they dont know that. they make their way along blah blah its fuckin boring pyth explains kinetic resonators, notes how they're not usually found in skyrims dwarven clans. basically she kinda takes the role of katria in explaining shit. do gets cut by a falmer in the area between shoulder and neck but saul heals her some so they keep going, pyth gets hurt by chaurus hunter.

they reach the summit (where the resonators are n you gotta shoot them) and pyth studies katrias journal before getting it in one go however comma andoryan knocks on one of the centurions and wakes it up. the team gets fucked up by it bad, but everyone is alive so far. they go and get the crest and its tired celebration and they start to leave. and because god hates pyth especially, a swarm of falmer shows. team is weak from the centurion fight so they get murdered. saul gets pulled over the edge by one jumping on him, Motabe runs out of magic and gets fucked and do flies into a rage, kills 5-7 and then gets overwhelmed and succumbs to poison. at the last second andoryan fucking tanks the shit and wipes the rest out right as pyth is about to get offed. she is hurt super bad and he pins her down reveals he is a Cunt. takes the aetherium for himself, decides to take all of it, including the aetherium in her eye. takes one of the falmer axes and uses it to cut out her eye. he then drags her to the edge and throws her over.

Part 4 Myth

pyth wakes up. saul is there looking fucked. she tries to move but saul stills her. she's missing an eye and her arm is broken. saul got a concussion and pyth asks if he healed her, he did not. she is confused. saulian nods towards a towering figure with its back to them. theyre cooking something on a fire within the ruin. pyth looks at saul and he shrugs. the figure finally stands and kneels by them, its ncz. checks on pyth, checks on saul, reminds saul not to sleep bc concussion. pyth falls back asleep

At this point add ncz (Nczek was Nchand’s early name) to the expedition roster.

Part 5 Pyre

ncz and continues to take care of pyth and saul until theyre well enough to leave. ncz helps bury what remains of her friends and katriah. pyth is very quiet and ncz and saul do most of the talking. ncz leads them to the entrance and sees them off. they make for falkreath

Launch ncz’s (Nchand) blog

it kinda switches to sauls pov because pyth is like. shell. he notes that hes moved her to his horse because she keeps falling asleep and hes worried she'll fall off the horse literally. he states that aside from the 4 days spent with ncz, they stayed in falkreath for 3. he notes that they really should have stayed with ncz longer because concussion and broken arm and missing eye but he wanted to get her to a town just incase they needed something food/potion ect. he states that he keeps an eye on her at night because of his own insomnia and that every night since first waking up at nczs shes had night terrors and he knows shes not taking this well. think oitnb piper post branding! eventually pyth picks up enough to ride on her own horse and talk some but shes still very distant. they go to her house only to find it in shambles like someone trashed the place. pyth steps into the back room/workshop and saul yanks her back just as a fire rune explodes. as a result the house catches fire bc wood.

saul tries to put it out but between trying to keep pyth from rushing in and trying to save stuff, he cant do much. he drags her out and holds her still as they watch her fuckin house burn down. as the moons rise they start on the road to whiterun.

Part 6 Untitled

Arrive in whiterun to somekind of bruhaha but saulian avoids it and goes straight to the temple of kynareth so pyth can get properly looked at. Scene ends with saulian leaving the priestess to do her work while he goes to figure out what was going on.

Scene picks up when pyth wakes up and she asks saulian what happened. She passed out on the horse on the way there and saulian brought her to the temple and a pristess set her arm in a splint and it wasn’t actually that bad and that regarding the situation, she should be okay but she cant use it. “Oh. thank you.” saulian asks if her brother works in whiterun she says yes, in the drunken huntsman. He asks if he also left valenwood under the same circumstances as she did she says yes. Saulian sighs and takes her hands. He’s dead. Pythia stares at him, clearly not believing him. He elaborates. Apparently he was seen walking with a hooded stranger last night and they found him along the wall. Murdered right in the city. Pythia breaks down sobbing and the scene ends.

A few days pass (2-3) and pythia has lost everything, essentially. Her eye, the use of her right arm, her friends, her brother, her home and now her life’s work. All she has left is the gold she had on her (roughly 200 septims) and saulian. At this point in time the vigilants are still around and saulian hasn’t found or refurbished the temple. Saulian says that he needs to go back to the hall of the vigilants, he’s been gone way longer than he should have and hes sorry. He says that if she needs him or needs help to go there. Pythia nods and says okay. Saulian leaves and now shes alone.

Jump cut to pythia burying aralas under the ashes of her home. Cue more crying.

Jump cut again to pyth making camp in the hills of the reach outside of rorikstead. 

Part 7 Atlas

This is the chapter about regret! I.e. pythia bearing the weight of the situation. Its mostly inner monologue

Actually it’s more of a sped up version of the stages of grief. She gets angry at herself for bringing them, at saulian for leaving her alone, and finally at fuckin andoryan. That cunt. She sits in silence by the fire brooding before realizing that the Dark Brotherhood is a thing that exists. Sure, she’s got a little less than 200 septims to her name and andoryan could be literally anywhere by this point but she’s going to have to try. That is, after her arm heals and she sees about getting a faux eye. Can’t wear gauze forever. She gets up to set some traps and heads to bed.

Here would be where the plotline would be opened up to interactions within the current timeframe. Would be open to muses that travel/hunt, or live in rorikstead/the reach.

Part 8 Two Graves

After 2-4 in timeline interaction have a call for someone in the brotherhood and plot with them

Points to remember, pythia is poor like. less than 200 gold. Pythia’s arm has healed and she no longer has a splint (recovery time is lower bc healing potions and magic) this dude could be ANYWHERE and is affiliated with the thalmor.

Fuck this im tired