#obv i dont want people to make a big deal out of it bc that makes me uncomfortable

[enemy-to-the-state]

[Who Do You Comfort?]

<OPTION A>

Or: <OPTION B>

waiting for your response...

waiting for your response...

waiting for you- Looks like you chose <OPTION A>: Your Girlfriend!

Congratulations! [Your Girlfriend] will once again be rewarded with copious amounts of attention while [Your Son] wonders why he was even born!

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

not the male ro anon (obv), but it feels always kind of strange to me when people ask for more or like even gender distribution in ro? like ik its bcs im a funky aroace, but first of all, the romance is a feauture not the main selling point. if there's no ro that appeals to you, the story (should) and their friendships can. like yeah, i also scroll down to the ro list and check everyone out, but if no ones my personal taste, im still playing the game if the premise and plot sound cool. like your writing is more than just the romance points. (maybe im a bit bitter on this topic bcs i deal/t with romance being the main and only point in every media ever, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.)

and you also dont have to stick to your taste. am i into women? no but i can make a character who is and i can still enjoy the romance of it. ik customization is a really massive part of if games, but it also offers the means to explore outside of your own identity. i think thats a big part of flavor texts too, seeing the small differences and how it changes the experience between different types of people.

and speaking from a coders perspective, maybe im just lazy (laziness is a lie and doesnt exist), but having to code the different pronouns and maybe even gender specific flavour text for gender selectable RO can be kinda annoying at times ngl. and i can absolutely understand why writers dont want to add gender selectable ro options because theres a lot of important differences in how people are brought up as, and the amount it could change someones character can be massive, we're talking like straight up two (or more) different people, just for one selection in an RO. and sometimes offering gender selection just doesnt make sense for the romance or the plot. not only does teddys sexuality but also gender play into his romance and character. it would not have the same meaning if we were allowed to change his gender.

and thats just like 3 points i personally can think of. and personally, genuinely, obviously no hate to the anon, i understand if its just a frustration of an perceived "imbalance" in ro, but authors have many reasons why they chose to offer the ro that they do, to make them gender selectable or not. and speaking from a readers perspective, sometimes we do feel entitled to ro, options and flavor, that the author knows wont happen. that doesnt make us bad readers, or authors bad writers and coders, its just something we have to remind ourselves of. "theres probably a reason for it".

I spent a bit of time considering which ROs could even have been switchable and I ultimately came up with Wil, Alistair, and CG. And with CG that would mean changing some of her background and tbh I kind of like Alistair being a guy and a more 'nurturing' type of character.

So yeah. idk. With Wil I felt like the opportunity was there to make them switchable and I decided to give it a shot since it'd be something I hadn't tried before (and let me include a character who potentially has neopronouns. but M!Wil was always gonna be a thing.

and agree that pronoun code is a pain in the butt.

[asexualzoro]

it's december 9th, meaning today is my 23rd birthday (which is my favorite number!), which means it's time for...

Lew Writes Wrapped 2023!!!

im including anything that happened after my last bday, so we have some works from december as well. this one's a bit of a weird one for the total word count, you'll see why

it's all treebark from my sideblog / alt ao3. i cannot change. i will not change. for these im just gonna specify the relationship that's the main focus bc thats easier than fandom bc all but like one are third life

dandelion wishing

(Dec, 2.4k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

op movie 6 au for dogwarts in which Martyn is the baron and Ren doesn't know he's dead

id actually plotted out a whole third life au for this movie like months prior and really wanted to write it, so i took it for treebark week and focused it just on these two. it's my fave movie of all time and i obvs had to give it to my fave completely dead team <3

i will admit tho. it did make me back search martyns twitter to see if hes ever posted abt watching this movie. bc i know he likes One Piece and i realized this would bring me into the danger zone (he hasnt ever posted abt it if hes seen it)

A Romance Route for the Doomed Villain?!?

(Dec, 5k, treebark, oneshot) (link)

treebark dating sim isekai parody that spiraled out of my control made in a day-long possession

im still baffled by this one. why was the response to this one so insane?? there was smth in the water the day i posted this bro. a 1:2 kudos to hits ratio for the entire first day is literally fucking unbelievable. 70 comments?? what hold did this fic have on you people. i got fic written about this one?? my friends goncharov'd me in front of my face

really fucking fun to write and the insane response was smth im always gonna remember. i appreciate you guys so much

treesekai also turns a year old in a few days!

Until the Angels Realize You're Not One of Them

(Feb, 7.2k, emerald duo, oneshot) (link)

a traitor phil au which was mostly just me talking about all the reasons i love technoblade

this one... wasnt actually written this year for the most part? i didnt want to not acknowledge it, since it's on my ao3 in this year, but i wont be able to count it toward the total

still. traitor phil au my beloved. hearing him say on his stream he and techno wanted to do a betrayal arc made me feel insane bc i already had this written at the time

missing or obstructed

(2022-present, 12.9k, Grian & Ren, ongoing) (link)

post 3L fic about Ren and Grian seeking out closure with a lot of funny little sleep metaphors

same deal as the last fic, i, uh dont think i actually wrote anything new for missing or obstructed this year either? just uploaded chapters i wrote last year,,, i didnt wanna now acknowledge it, but i wont count this in my total later

i miss her. one day ill actually sit down and write more missing or obstructed. in my doc im JUST at introducing Martyn and i havent written it yet

to reach my mangled debut

(Sept, 4.2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

it wouldnt be me if i didnt have an execution somewhere in here. another op au!

THIS. I LOVE HER. when rev and i were plotting out the whole storyline for smop renchanting i was begging please give me this scene i need it and i had so much fun writing it. i rlly need to finish soon but i haven’t had time but please. please check out smop. she’s top of my priority list to update

Three-Dog Night

(Sept, 6.7k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

BIG DOG. beauty and the beast au!

god im so fond of this au. there’s some rlly good scenes written for this and unposted bc i just need to link them together. honestly i think if i took a month and focused it on this fic alone i could fucking finish it but i don’t have the time ;-;

that said i’m so enamored w this au genuinely. o dunno what else to say i just think. puppy

Cover Me In Roses

(Sept, 3.3k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

lamplight roleswap! put Martyn in a flower pot

i don’t feel as motivated to work on this one when i have lamplight unfinished so it’s lower on my priorities but know i have like an entire arc of this written and unposted. we just have a few paths for this one and i have to decide which one to use

it’s so wild to me lamplight has like. aus. like this isn’t even the only one? a roleswap. that’s insane? it’s wild that you all like lamplight enough i can even get away with this

First Sign of a House Fire

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i love superhero stories for two reasons: plots about secrets and adapting the characters to give them powers. this had smth fun for both of them

yellow rose isn’t super high on my list of priorities to update (i think the oneshot is interesting on its own) but one day,,,, it’s part of the many aus cherri and i have but it’s the longest for sure. the doc for just this au is like 100k words long on its own. at the time i draft this cherri and i are actively writing smth else for it in another tab. theres like 4 offshoots and im obsessed w all of them. we had to make ocs about this one. i’m excited to eventually add more to this series

actually that’s one of the scenes i’m most excited for and most dreading adding. we made a backstory oc and im SO attached to him and im excited to post a thing out there w him but. ough. whatever cringe is dead i’ll get there eventually and brute force my way into attaching you to our funky little robot guy

also love that this fic forced me to be decided on a docv characterization that i have to stick to. he may be a canon guy to martyn’s vtuber lore but he’s my oc now too

Blindsided

(Sept, 2k, treebark week, ongoing) (link)

pirate au and royal au based on a big secret and also stuffing a guy in a box and it's all stupid dramatic literally what else do you want or need in life

this is my wife. my favorite. my most beloved. blindsided gives me new illnesses and diseases. i have just one scene to write before i can update it and then i can continue unleashing her. god i love this fic the drama of it is SO fun.

the funny thing abt blindsided is i know all the plot chronologically but now how to Present it which is part of why i haven’t continued too much. eventually i will but until then know that one of the scenes im sitting on which has been fully written is one i think about constantly. hopefully when i post it cherri’ll let free the comic she did for it

i actually have the ending of this fic written i just need to get there lmfao. second on my priority list after smop i think

Cradle of the Leviathan

(Sept, 1.5k, treebark week, oneshot) (link)

i just love mer aus man. whats the point of it all if you cant have mer aus. just get a big ol fish

i have the ending of this au written as well and literally so little of the lead up. but this is pretty low on my priorities. i think this one stands just fine on its own. mer aus are nice like that

we actually have a few mer aus but for now i’ll be focusing on this one. i do have a few sweet post story things written for this one. maybe one day i’ll write enough to post em lmao

Lamplight AU

(2022-present, 47k, treebark, ongoing) (link)

renchanting dnd/fantasy au, martyn's a paladin and ren's a lamp

so i started this au last year. my wrapped last year said my total was 20k, so that means this year's total is.... 27k!

and… it was just lamplight’s birthday and i did all my appreciation for the fic and its readers then, but god. i love this fic so much and i love you all who have read it and been so kind about it. the amount of popularity it has makes it a bit nerve wracking to work on, but i still really want to see it finished. i hope to see the bulk of it done by this time next year!

Six Sentence Sunday

six sentence sunday is a challenge where i try to post six sentences i wrote that week every sunday, to keep me writing every week of the year! i do it over on my writing blog, @driflew

i did not keep up on my six sentences,,, i had a lot of sunday fencing tournaments. i did for ~33 weeks this year! thats a pretty good amount! i’ll have to be more on top of it next year tho

unpublished work

the last few years i havent included unpublished work, but with the extreme bulk of it, i wanted to note it down. cherri @/cherrifire and i have been writing a lot back and forth at each other in discord dms this year, and i wanted to include those in my count! bc holy fucking shit is there a lot of them

i didn’t include collab pieces, just pieces i wrote alone. i also only included the renchanting aus i share w cherri and scarian aus i share w flowey, nothing else—no unfinished lamplight or other independent pieces or oneshots, no original fiction for class, nothing. i also missed a few u haven’t moved to docs yet. so i’m lowballing by a few. thousands. of words

the total for those is...... 135k words! there is,,, something wrong with me

total and end notes

our total this year is...

187512 words!

that might be my highest word count yet! because i caught treebark disease. wild.

something really fun about this year to me is i really loved everything i wrote.

if you want to get me a gift or support me on my birthday… maybe try reading my work and reblogging it or leaving a comment! you can find my writing at driflew or skelew on ao3, follow my writing blog at @driflew, or even consider tipping my kofi!

thank you for sticking with me and supporting me this year! i really appreciate it! hopefully i can break 100k next year too!

[transboysokka]

This is a big ask so don't feel like you have to, but would you be interested in pitching some summaries of the fics you have up on Ao3? I know there are summaries up there, but I like the casual way you have with words and you say fuck a lot and I dunno yeah

omg this is so funny bc i know the exact way with words you're talking about and of course im not gonna pass up a chance to promote my own work hehe YOU GOT IT!

i have 20 atla fics so I'm going to recommend them in order of... least to most kudos??? to try to trick people into reading more of my stuff? lol idk

I'm 99% sure all of these are Zukka fics...

The Last Five Years - ok actually this is a bad place to start bc i don't think im gonna finish it. it just really didn't take off but um its a The Last Five Years AU with really fucking sad Divorced Zukka

Do Not Stand At My Grave and Cry - this is i think my newest one, it has trans zukka and it's a bit angsty with a fake death but i also think it's kind of fun. it's the idea trans people have of ''who's going to care if my family puts the wrong name on my gravestone?" but there IS a happy ending

A Problem Halved is a Problem Shared - im gonna be honest i dont fucking remember writing this one lol but it says dialogue-only and it WILL be angsty bc it is about zuko and sokka dealing with different issues they have

One Last Time (and its sequel The End of All Things) - Actually OLT is definitely one of my faves I ever wrote. It's my canon-compliant take on um... *cough* Sokka's death, referenced in Korra. It's SO angsty but it has one of the most visceral scenes I've ever written and I DID cry writing this. TEoAT is the happy ending Divorced Zukka deserved with bonus Iroh but you WILL cry reading that too. BUT i cant fucking recommend these ones enough!!!!

If I fade away (the awful things we do to make the head go quiet) - VERY dead dove. trans zuko needs to pay a MASSIVE price to get home to the Fire Nation after Ba Sing Se, and it's not his choice at all. I love this but READ WITH CAUTION

In Which Sokka is Supportive Ally Boyfriend Goals - I am dead serious i like dont remember this one at all but i know it has trans zuko!

Nourishing the Flame Within - not the best written tbhtbh BUT it does have two very important Zukos in it that I hold to be universally true: trans zuko and eating disorder zuko

bad idea right? - okay this is DEF one of my faves lol its about divorced zukka but they just cant stop messing things up and sleeping with each other even though theyre not together anymore lolol

Keeping it in the Family - lmao OKAY SO this is the ONE version of zukka that im like 'ok all u z*tara folks, maybe zuko WAS with her and it obvs didnt work' and then he hooks up with sokka instead and its GREAT but oops now we have Family Drama

Scars of Trust - bro im not gonna like i barely remember writing this one but i remember I LOVE IT and it's about sokka who has been dating zuko a while but he finally learns that zuko is trans? its great

Playing the Long Game - eh, i don't love it, but I'd say it's worth a read. it was my first longer fic in the fandom. it DOES have a great Zukki evolution though if you're into that, and a nice mystery!! Also some whump and angst bc of course

Keeping Score - I liked this one! It's just little snippets of times Sokka has survived assassination attempts, because we always hear about it happening to Zuko, but Sokka gets them too. Angst obviously

It Was Cruel and It Was Wrong - wow, a dead dove fic, yes. It's basically like "If I'm Joo Lee and you're Joo Lee, then who's flying the bison?" Yeah so Sokka and Zuko are both brainwashed by the Dai Lee and Suffering but be careful because this gets DARK

Mother - Izumi has two dads but she feels bad she doesn't have a mom. But guess what, her dads don't have moms either!! She's very happy to find that out! Wow Izumi, way to have some sympathy.

Impact - It's about Zuko taking a longer time to recover from an assassination attempt than he'd want, and Sokka being loving and patient with him! I wrote this when I had a bad concussion for like three weeks and so it's pretty like. Medically accurate lol

Scratchy - Short and sweet. I don't remember this one much but I know that it is fluffy and involves turtle ducks!

Hidden Pain, Shared Love - Another short and fluffy one. It's about the first time Zuko sees that Sokka has problems with his leg sometimes?

Zuko and Sokka Get Engaged in the Most Zukka Way Possible - okay i actually really love this one because it's on brand and cute and also i made it fucking angsty because oF COURSE

Zuko Amongst the Dragons - yes so what if zuko was raised by dragons and met the gaang but he was super feral? and what if shenanigans ensued? AND what if sokka and zuko fell in love anyway????

[single-malt-scotch]

i have watched bdubs and scar and so im gonna talk abt SL again like i did before. obvs spoilers!

i keep my posts pretty meta/only about the game, its mechanics, balance etc so i have no bias on players own actions. but i do want to talk about players and the final moments for a minute here!

obvs i like bdubs a lot and hes been very good at getting to almost the finals in all the series. hope ppl realize that more. if he had more hearts like scar did im sure he could of have gotten further too. etho's ep isnt out but i saw him die in scar's and scar's ep was wild for sure. i mean damn, there was hardly a way etho could have escaped scar when he landed right on top of him, insane. obvs i dont have a view on the others i havent watched but it was interesting to see how they ganged up in this series for the end. scar winning made me happy too, hes a really good player!!

bbut onto the gameplay. i dont wanna repeat myself so im kinda using this as an overall conclusion + specific thoughts about the finale.

its been established clearly that mods assign specific tasks to people at times. and the warden/wither + bogey were not something i enjoyed. this season felt way too "directed" as it went on... and i also think the tasks ability to grant you so much good stuff (a LOT of hearts) is what kept everyone out of being red so easily! which is probably why they did the bogey zombies. which is really just poor balance that no one clearly tested (i recall grian implying before that they dont really test anything but dont quote me on that). maybe a way to have improved that would have been reds were the only ones to gain hearts, and yellow/greens could not. i knew from the start that the heart giving mechanics this season were kind of pointless or overpowered. gifting one heart? really...? that doesnt add up to much of anything in the long run imo unless you manage to get hearts from multiple people. and then on top of that you get hearts back from the secret keeper too. i would have loved if this season was simply "no regen and thats it!" like a sorta UHC deal where you only can heal with specific items (and not 30 hearts prob? bc i understand the tasks were kind of a way to possibly make them die).

on big forced tasks it only made sense with this episode, since everyone is red, so i dont mind that. but again.... they had to force this to happen which is annoying to me. also in terms of balance i really wished they bring back strict rules on enchantments because that also gets frustrating to watch. but perhaps i just like fairness in combat due to watching so much UHC, which also is a death game.

the other issues i had were with reds and red tasks. as pointed out they forced reds in the previous sessions but no one had any time to do red tasks?? and admittedly it was kind of boring bc people couldnt interact about it without failing. but they could not team up properly and i think that is what red life is all about. all the reds coming together because they *need* to face yellows and greens, and hunt people down. but instead the few reds there had to be alone to do their traps, another social issue with this series where tasks often pulled people away from others and left them with videos where they were very alone. there being no space for greens and yellows to exist and get hunted is something i think is great in previous seasons too and it just didnt happen. all that getting forced in that one session just didnt flow well to me.

really even trying to look back at episodes, i cant recall any notable interactions between people i enjoyed minus some brief pauses when they were traveling to do their tasks. there just wasnt a lot of typical socializing! and thats what i didnt like with this series. this plus the balance issues of lives just made this series feel messy, and the length of the episodes due to tasks could be kind of boring if the task was boring or even felt too stressful to force them into places where they could just die (these kinds of dangerous tasks given to greens or yellows felt unfair, as if it was trying to force them to die, and as a viewer i wouldnt want the game make my fave die!).

and as i mentioned in a different post, the lack of fixing some issues in multiple seasons is wild to me. this season faced the same issue as limlife where deaths were not in chat. the episode after, they fixed it (still with some bugs). and then it happened again last session.... and they didnt fix it! this is also annoying bc people dont react to the deaths at all which you kind of wanna see you know? actually im not even sure why they still did it this way. i imagined the clock running out made it more complicated for the system of fying to work. but why this season....? seemed like pretty forward deaths. idk the tech side, but they had 3 solid lives like all the other season, and there were never issues with the death messages happening at all.

but anyways. theres multiple parts of this i mentioned above that just made this gimmick feel so messy and unbalanced, and sometimes not super interesting to watch. it was way too complicated some times. i know theyll likely never do a repeat of the old versions but man idk if i cant find myself liking future seasons if they start stacking so much on top of what is a simple concept. it has started to feel like the three lives havent mattered at all/arent really the focus-- the anxiety of having three times. and the stakes become less and less due to some of these new gimmicks (the ability to gain lives in so many easy ways- limlife and secret life- is why imo) makes death feel less of a problem especially when we know how buddy buddy everyone is now. people need to be limited like before, and be more anxious. 3L, LL, and DL had people quickly establishing their friends bc they knew right from the get go that the series really depended on them being alive and nothing else. the only focus was to stay alive and not die. DL was where ppl kinda chilled a bit on alliances bc they knew each other more but, death was still right around the door with health being tied, it still brought a similar kind of anxiety for players.

i do hope people like grian can recognize these issues behind the scenes bc genuine critique for this series/season is important. like i hope they dont brush off the fact "hall monitors" were an issue-- they can ignore them openly in their videos.... but there is a reason why its a problem that started at all. the concept was way too subjective and hard to judge! so id hate for them to decide "eh, lets not listen to them, im gonna keep doing this and not consider the issue for a new season" right? and hour long episodes? thats crazy, and i dont think it was good for a lot of cc imo, because it made me way less likely to watch or even finish others' episodes. i hope that makes sense... stakes need to be raised, and i think limlife still achieved that to some degree because time was still very sensitive and risky to take. but then SL comes in bringing way too many things that keep them alive far too easily, leaving very little concern as long as they got their task in.

and last thing is from the outside pov i get concerned about this season happening only 6 months after the last one. because that would very very easily cause a burn out/inability to make more gimmicks real quick. i find this particularly odd bc this season too place through multiple holidays...! not sure if they thought this one through very well. considering how much limlife changed things in a way that was a bit more complicated, and then have SL with even more going on.... id just be worried about how much new stuff would even be made after this.

before this season started i was thinking to myself that i would be fine if this was the last one (it was speculation off some posting 3L compilations that was being me think itd be 'over' bc that was the first season). and truly i would be fine if they stopped forever for for a long time. i dont want to start disliking this series if they keep going in this direction... i will ALWAYS enjoy seeing these people play together and it will no doubt keep me watching but, i would hope that i will enjoy what they do for the next seasons and not fall down this path of convoluted, unbalanced and complicated concepts.

[skadream]

Rudy's Book Reviews: You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

yeah thats right im gonna be a phannie on main for a second. this is the start of my book review series which i hope to actually folow through with lol. this one ive been listening to as an audiobook but i do have the physical copy as well cuz im like that! next review will hopefully be gideon the ninth so tune in for that, but for now, read this review under the cut:

this book is a practical mental health guide, honestly a lot of it is stuff that you can learn in therapy so like if you have a therapist that you like then maybe its not worth it BUT theres like slim pickins for mental health books that arent just anecdotal evidence without actually talking about what people did to help them get better, just "yea i was sad but then i got therapy ✌️" or books that are so couched in psychiatric jargon its hard for a layperson to get into OR just vaguely inspiring bullshit.

its all written with the help of an actual licensed psychologist person, so no bullshit, no just do yoga and drink water shit (although obviously exercise and hydration and physical health are talked about) and yes he mentions medication and LICENSED therapy if those end up being necessary steps to take with your mental health!!! which again, in the world of self help type books, tends to be rare advice which is DEPRESSING IN A DIFFERENT WAY LMAO.

ofc it should go without saying that a book can never be a replacement for therapy but Considering How The World Is, this book is good for like maybe stepping into learning some coping skills as well as figuring out a plan before, during, and after crisis mode. i would say the tone is more serious than humorous but dan puts a lot of his own natural snarky sarcasm stink all over this book which obv that can be a taste thing if youre not into brit sarcasm mode but as a One Of Those i like it lol

in terms of Dan And Phil™️-isms, theres a sprinkling of cute winks and nods and inside jokes that people who drew sharpie cat whiskers on their faces as teens would understand but Normies will not find to be out of place or anything, there's also some storytimes of like his previous tours or living as a dropout youtuber being stress-inducing and things like that but not a ton which i kinda prefer cuz it makes it easier for me to recommend this book to people who dont give a shit about Phandom Memes

theres an introduction which is kind of a short summary of who dan is, basically just summarizing his youtube videos talking about depression and when he came out as queer and all that fun stuff, if youre a psycho hardcore fan person like me you might find it to be a long and unnecessary read, but if youre someone who didnt know about this guy and are curious as to why he would even write a book like this its a pretty good synopsis.

the american cover has dan's stupid face on it, and as someone who is a big fan of dan's stupid beautiful face, i wish we had the EU version with like tasteful yellow stripes on it bc it looks so nice, but i mean i just keep it on my bookshelf with the spine showing which is just a nice yellow spine with the title and looks unassuming so its not THAT big a deal lmaoo.

in terms of the audiobook, dan's voice is quite soothing and there's all these like audio cues and fitting music which i really like. the only downside is, for example, he reads out this timed breathing exercise that is meant to be like a five minute exercise, but it's not actually timed? so like i want to do the breathing exercises along with him reading it out but he reads it so fast its kinda like bro slow down you said breathe in for five seconds why you going ahead two seconds later homie. thats my only criticism i think obv if you are reading it and not listening you can just do the exercises by timing yourself lol.

ummmm idk if im gonna give a number at the end of these reviews!!! i give this book a big thumbs up!! 👍 woohoo yeah baby i am very proud of dan's current life journey thing that he's going on and i think this is a great book for people who need help which is everyone alive today right now :)

[creacherkeeper]

multiples of 7 for the character asks for bo!! <3

7. what quality do they like the least about themselves?

OOF. WHAT A WAY TO START. i think theres a Lot about himself bo doesn't like and he's still coming to terms with what a lot of that means like. In Context. of like. Everything. but i think Right Now the thing he doesn't like the most is that he makes people sad. because he can Tell but he also cant Help It and he's trying to find the balance between. opening up. and making people Worry about him. because he!!! does not want to affect the people he cares about in a negative way!!! its fine if they do that to him but not the other way around. he's not supposed to take up space <3

14. do you have a favourite conversation that they’ve had with another character? briefly describe it!

i definitely have favorite conversations with the pcs, but i think my favorite conversation with an npc was when they were in the book and bo got. a little mad. at bubba. for not just working things out with ezzy. and yelled at him a wittle bit. just bc i think that was like a Turning Point for bo of like. maybe the first time he ever acted selfishly towards someone? and knew he was acting selfish and said it anyway? and just being like. actually me and rosie deserve a full family so why cant you get your shit together. which like. in hindsight with everything we know about them now, Harrowing for bubba, but it was also bo like. showing he felt safe enough with bubba to get upset at him? bc that's pretty rare for bo

21. without revealing any secrets, how much of your character’s backstory does the rest of your party know about? 20%? 75%? 0%?

i mean. broad strokes, 100%. there's always going to be little details to flesh out, but bo backstory was pretty simple and didn't get changed at all from original version to now. all the nuance that's come with it has come from hollis. i didnt know jack shit about bubba or him and eabha's relationship or the rangers or anything. i found out In Game with everyone else (madly affectionate)

28. what is something that helps to comfort them?

talking to kai <3 kai is really good at both grounding him but also making him like. actually deal with stuff so he gets it out of his system. he's used to being like. oh i'm upset. gonna bury this forever. but kai is like. okay bud we're gonna talk through it and then chill out and bo is like wait huh this actually helps?? wild

35. pick a character that they know. what is something that they do that your character finds annoying/frustrating?

flip side of that,,, less annoying and more frustrating / concerning but. kai not eating well <3 bo is such a big food guy and like. is so used to people showing care through food. and so kai will stress bo needs to take care of himself because he deserves to feel good and then will have like. an iced coffee for breakfast and not eat again for 8 hours and it drives bo insane. he doesn't understand how they can be so in tune with things emotionally and also expect so much from their body and fighting abilities and then not take care of it right

42. how similar is your character to you?

MEAN QUESTION. i think more similar than i would like to admit but not as similar as i would fear. i think we have some good traits in common and some bad traits in common and some hangups in common but overall we have fairly different like. cores. and life experiences, obv. it is sometimes hard for me to play bo cause im like noooooo i dont want to say this but its what bo would say!!! it what bo would think!!!! im very much a Character Actor as a player and me and bo differ. A Lot in how we go about the world

[mell0bee]

CR asks: 1 & 17 if you're feeling spicy; if you're not, 9, 14, 25, 39 (feel free to pick & choose)

i took so long to do this because i had all the questions answered and then tumblr crashed and deleted it all :( but here we go (also thank u for the ask!!!)

9- Location in Exandria you'd like to see in a possibly canonical one-shot/EXU but with non-main campaign characters (as in Song of the Lorelei/The Darrington Brigade)

vasselheim!!! i doubt it will be a major location again for a full campaign because it was featured so heavily in c1 but an exu type deal could be so cool!!! i thought that vasselheim was SO underutilized in c1. when i was first watching it i was Big Sad that the no arcane magic thing was played for laughs, you could easily center a whole campaign around that idea. i wanted to see more of it during c1 and obvs after exu calamity i want to see more of it Even More. theres just so much to learn about it after the context of exu calamity. like i want inside information about the political system. i want to explore how decisions get made there. and like bro do u want a story about Hubris??? oh yeah??? you like critical role so are you perhaps a Hubris Enjoyer??? perhaps of the Magic User Variety?? imagine a wizard or a warlock trying to hide their magic in vasselheim. it basically writes itself. imagine a high-ranking cleric as a pc. or a noble. based on what's happening in c3 do you think they have like. an Old Secrets Protection Board? and perhaps some Scholar Spies trying to break in? idk man there's so much you can do there and i would like to See It Please Thank You

14-Describe the art you would most like to create or commission if talent/money were no object.

i have like 7 animatics in my head that i am not talented enough to make but honestly. this whole jester-focused animatic set to folding chair by regina spektor. it’s really good in my head i swear. also a post c1 animatic set to dodie's cover of blackbird which has been in my head since i finished c1 god i have actual brainworms

25-What class do you most want to see Matt play if he is in a future EXU campaign as a new (not Dariax) PC?

artificer. primarily bc as much as i love him, matt’s pcs tend not to be my kind of character. at least in cr oneshots he’s got a thing for the Generic Edgy Protagonist Boy type which i’m sorry buddy but like. no thanks. and based on artificer/engineer type npcs he’s played i doubt he will go for that archetype as a pc. matt loves some Insane Scientists and so do i, easy S tier character trope, so whether he plays it straight or goes for the more unhinged type like most of his npcs im down 100%. also i had a whole rant here abt how much i love dariax and i hope that matt continues to step out of his comfort zone for pcs because for me personally i think it works really well!!

39- favorite parental figure NPC?

I HAD A WHOLE RANT HERE ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE MARION LIKE I THINK I WROTE LIKE 300 WORDS. the gist of it was how i love that she is very much an imperfect parent which we can see in jester now, but she’s still a good parent!! she’s still trying!!! she’s got her own trauma but she’s trying!!! idk that is v important to me. also i love how she is a sex worker and is not shamed for it at all. and that she has agoraphobia (sp?) and its treated as like!!! fine and not irrational at all!!! idk man idk how matt and laura did such a good job with such a respectful and grounded portrayal of a character like marion but they DID also parent trap ftw

spicy answers under cut, just keep scrolling if u dont want to see my mildly lukewarm takes. thank u.

1- Character you don't particularly like, but will defend vehemently when people dislike them for the wrong reasons.

(also this is the only answer that saved lmao)

sadly i cannot think of any other characters so i have to talk about Mr. Warcrimes McTreason. i like canon essek okay though i do think he is Overhyped, but fanon essek is so annoying lmao which makes me not particularly like him. on the other hand i think people not liking him bc they don’t think he deserved redemption are Wrong. as a redemption arc it was like. Fine. not everyone can pull a zuko and like. whatever. and idk i think that redeemed heroes should be a little morally dubious. as a treat. i guess in a way i am glad that aeor arc essek doesn't get to actually be morally gray bc the fandom would be insufferable but Hot Take i am a Gray Morality Enjoyer i think that More protags should be war criminals actually.

17- You know that post that's like "I wish you could filter in ao3 on 'attitude towards a canon event'?" In the world of imagination, you can! What's the event or attitude?

*gestures vaugely at kingsley* to be completely honest i was pretty sad for a few moments there that they succeeded in rezzing molly, was tentative when whatever the end of 140 was, and i’m so happy kingsley is a thing. i think that people who wanted molly back have Missed The Point Entirely. molly needed to stay dead and talesin knew that (thank you talesin) (also not to mention fanon molly, who is infinitely worse than fanon essek. god can you imagine that. again thank you talesin.)

[temikoangie]

can you talk more about danganronpa 3 chapter 3… i’m very curious about your analysis on it and like, a slightly more detailed explanation of it bc i am deeply fascinated. only if it doesn’t bother you, of course

ohh anon u have No Idea what uve awakened in me .  Quick Side Note , i truthfully didnt know where 2 begin explaining ch3 So If it looks scattered i Apologize i am Trying. i have ay dee aych dee . also obv drv3 spoilers Ahead.

when it comes 2 ch3 thje Big Big Reason why i like it so much bc Come On im the tenmikoangie guy !!! thats their Focus Chapter !!!  but its also bc its just. different? from the other ch3 in other games ? while the past ch3s dont really have that much of a bond with eachother (as in the focus characters), in drv3 the focus characters are /deeply/ intertwined with eachother, including the killer to a degree. so much so, to the point that the ONE character who lived through losing Two of their Closest Friends, Grieved loudly on trial grounds, was able to start changing themselves so their deaths would not be in vain. Obviously it took more effort and trial and error on himiko’s part but hey, she’s trying!

also i feel like this is the chapter most people gloss over the most…? especially when talking about tenko’s and angie’s characters? this is where their personalities hit their peak!! most people tend to ignore the fact that tenko is a deeply caring and Very Emotionally tuned person  in favor of the more creepy narrative, and angie being someome who ALSO cares but because her decisions are more logic based, shows it in Extremely Weird ways. to the point where the people outside assumes she is manipulating people into her bidding ( while there IS the whole.. God thing, i say this because through her logical deductions, she realized that attempts of escape, accepting monokuma’s motives, flashback lights and nighttime stuff are probably factors in what will make somebody go for murders. she’s insanely smart and makes a very good foil to tenko, who may be Dumb sometimes but he is a good empath!!) 

their interactions r also pretty funny thru the whole chapter. why are they talking after one another is beyond me but i remember just whimpering and crying everytime they all talk . something is wrong with me !! 

ok aside from that tho bc of this chapter i genuinely do think that tenko, angie and himiko all do care for eachother  . tenko would not have gone out of his way to at least try to convince angie not to use the necronomicon !! angie couldve used the mole reveal to banish tenko from the council but she didnt !! and honestly we already know himiko's deal ( got closer to tenko during ch2 + was already closer to angie since liek . the beginning of ch2 ) . the point im trying to make is that they all had their reasons to just completely abandon ship and let the others to their own devices but they did NOT because to them their company or wellbeing is much more important! (actually angie not banishing tenko is probably bc her group is Moreso based on peace rathe thn fear BUT STILL !! she very much cares she just shows it weird . also she's lonely and tenko (aside from shuichi's fte) is like. the only other person who actively goes against her standing as a ''prophet''... Something She Herself  liked so. make that as you will) 

as for korekiyos . . . actually someone explained it much better thn i ever could but theyre liek . parallels to himiko . more specifically just as angie's and tenko's core traits really start to shine in her .. only albeit it turned into their downfall as they flounder harder and harder into the trial . everyone is a parallel of eachotherrr in their own waaayy . ............................. Sighs ? i wish more ppl went into depth into drv3 ch3 more i feel like there's a lot of missing stuff in there tht even I feel like i dont have much info on . ( this culd be bc i hadnt replayed drv3 in a while but . Not Right Now )

IDK i think thts most of what i wanted to talk about theres Definitely some bits and stuff i wanted to talk about but to add them here would 1) make it longer and 2) make it even Less comphrensible bc the way i write is so scattered and made even worse with me having to pause every now and then to try to recall details. sooo if there's anything specific u want me to talk about Please do Ask LOOL

[cosmicallyavg]

okay okay i didnt want to fully hijack someone else’s post but i saw this ask 

and these tags in a reblog of the ask from @inlovewithanathemadevice 

and imagined up something really heartbreaking so im gonna write it for you all to see 🥲

so all i can think is how it can be like a direct parallel to when ten carried donna to her doorstep and just the sad "help me" when wilf opened the door?? okay hear me out  

like the doctor gets hurt somehow and knows shes dying so she tells yaz to get away so she can find somewhere safe since theyre away from the tardis.

(maybe dan is there as well? but i kinda imagine this whole scenario to be with no dan?? idk he can be there too if he wants its not that big of a deal i just dont want to have to juggle more characters if i dont have to) (like idk if he’d really do much other than support yaz through the aftermath but i digress)

yaz absolutely will not leave the doctor and will not have any of her nonsense and drags her back to her family's flat because they're close by despite the doctor’s protests - she hopes no one is home because how would she explain what's going on, she hardly even knows what's going on

she's fumbling with the key trying to get the door open but najia hears the commotion and opens the door to yaz sobbing and the doctor looking in a bad way. theres a beat where she just stands in silence, unsure what to do.

yaz is confused, upset, panicking. she’s maybe a bit more harsh with her mum than she normally would be

“either help me or get out of the way, mum”

obviously najia lets them in but she hasn't seen yaz in a year or so and wants to demand explanation but also her daughter’s weird friend probably needs medical attention. yaz insists she not call an ambulance and that everything will be okay but clearly not because the woman looks like she's dying

they guide the doctor to the sofa, neither of them know what to do. but the doctor is trying to explain everything, how she is actively dying and is going to change. how it’s very dangerous and destructive and she shouldnt be in their flat, but more importantly that neither of them should be this close when the regeneration actually happens.

yaz’s mum doesn’t even know the doctor is an alien, all of this information just sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but yaz insists she will explain when everything is over, but right now isn’t a good time obviously

the doctor gives her best attempt at a speech, thanking yaz for everything she's done and how she's helped her grow etc etc. she tells najia she raised a wonderful woman who is smart and brave etc etc. in which she still doesn't get any explanation on who the doctor is/what she is/how yaz knows her/what their relationship is like. 

the doctor knows its coming, she tells everyone to back away and yaz of course refuses, but i think a callback to arachnids where yaz tells her mum that she "owes the doctor her life a few times over" would be super heartbreaking so im going to include it

"yaz you don't owe me your life, you don't owe me anything but please don't make me push you away again. please just get away."

people want their first and only kiss to be during the doctors regeneration so that would fit here!!! obv i would love for them to kiss before this but either way you could fit a kiss in here okay.... like the doctor has admitted her admiration for yaz and its a heat of the moment thing where yaz is going to lose her so she just goes in for it??? its short and desperate and everything is bathed in a golden light (it could have similar visuals to nine’s regen 👀) and its beautiful and sad and painful. yaz has to force herself to back away just in time for the regeneration to happen

also if they kiss like right in front of najia it would be fun bc she clocked them back in series 11 and yaz denied it so hard. jfhsjfh esp if dan is there because he would literally cheer them on fsjdfjjkj

okay okay so the regeneration has happened... 

yaz didnt know what to expect but there’s literally a different person sitting in the spot the doctor was just in. she can put two and two together but that doesnt make her any less confused. new doctor says funny introduction line like always. yaz and her mum share a confused look. end of episode.

next episode we start back on the sofa, maybe some of the flat is a little destroyed but its fine, everythings fine. new doctor is high on regeneration energy, yaz and mum still super confused. new doctor starts walking around, being clumsy, etc. we get the usual hijinks where the doctor doesnt know who they are, doesnt know who their companion is, and just needs to sleep. 

yaz of course i think would react similarly to rose where she kinda doesnt believe its the doctor, but more than anything is like.. hurt and confused that this doctor is not the same as her doctor. her mum has SO MANY questions, naturally. her first of course being “did you just kiss the doctor? so i was right you ARE seeing each other.”

while the doctor sleeps somewhere, yaz and najia sit down and have a long conversation about the doctor and who she was/who they are now, why they changed, where yaz has been this whole time, etc., if we imagine dan in this scenario she would DEFINITELY ask about him.. like last time you brought your friends around there was a different old man what is this about.

like her mum deserves an explanation after so long without yaz around and why she ruined her prospects with the police for some alien who just died on their couch????? 

i really dont know how to end this but thats really only as far as im planning this in my head bc otherwise ill write a whole episode

idk just..... i am so vividly imagining this and i needed everyone to hear my thoughts. i just know the regeneration is going to be super painful regardless so i might as well make my own sad rendition. 

okay thank you for listening bye

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

[transboysokka]

mako headcanons?

HELLO are you ready for me to just dump everything inside my brain at you?? I've made like his entire backstory at this point...

this one

this one

gay. obvs. (and with wu. obvs)

trans!!!!

the gloves are very much a page from elsa's book. conceal don't feel. he kind of hates being a firebender because he can't separate his identity from like the evil that killed his parent etc etc

click here for angst

and here

he didn't learn how to read until super late but now he loves reading and is a little bookworm. i wonder if he has lil bookclubs with jinora. he's so booksmart now???

he has a triad tattoo somewhere under his shirt and like it was NOT his choice to get it so he sees it more as a brand anyway thats the REAL reason he doesn't take his shirt off to swim or go in the sauna not that it's period appropriate or whatever. also yeah he's wearing a binder always.

daddy issues w zolt

no concept of self care bc hes always given everything he's ever earned to bolin. yikes. big parentification stuff to deconstruct here

ok are you ready for MAXIMUM ANGST bc these ones are HOT off the presses aka my brain!!!!

mako will always have issues with eating because he went so long surviving on SO little. it's super hard for him to recognize when he's hungry because there was a point when he just stopped feeling it

mako would give his coat to bolin to wear in the winter. this is how he got real good at his bending real quick. if he didn't find a way to heat himself up he wasn't gonna make it out on the streets

one time when they were younger bolin found mako beat to shit in an alley. bolin freaked out and nursed mako back to health. mako didn't say anything at all to bolin for a long time and after he got better he became way more protective of bolin. this was the time mako tried to get out of the triad on his own. bolin never finds out.

one of the big reasons mako becomes a cop is because he's killed people under zolt and he can't get their faces out of his head. he needs to repent

when he started probending he was WAY to violent about it because that was all he knew how to be anymore. it took a long time for him to get used to NOT hurting people.....

he never feels Earth Kingdom enough because he looks so different from his relatives

so actually mako is REALLY bad at some things, like grocery shopping and finding good prices, budgeting, cooking actual meals that are also healthy, these kinds of things he never got the chance to do.......

ok so i have this half-formed idea that mako has seen and confronted his parents' killer before!!!! but bolin doesn't know!!!! and i can't decide why like did mako kill them or just freak out and not want to deal with it i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[snekdood]

im sorry that i had to block you because this topic is pretty triggering for me and I was worried you were going to be like “all content is fine” and didn’t want to be around that energy. I usually try not to knee jerk react like that but in this case it was hard due to my trauma. I can tell this is going to be a hard conversation for me for that reason. and before i even talk about it i wanna say- idk anything about antis or proshippers or whatever tf bc i dont care about fandom stuff and I agree with your other post that reducing it to fandom nonsense is stupid bc I think it ignores actual meaningful conversations around this.

im also sorry if my comment made it sound like I was downplaying your experience with (still assuming: a community within?) tetris, I read your comment as if the game itself was the issue and not the (supposed? im sorry i just dk about your history in this regard (or if there was a community or what)) community, and I get your point but I’d argue colorful blocks =/= cp in its ability to harm people and its a rocky comparison imo. i do genuinely believe drawn images can harm people, even the person drawing it. but regardless, i’m sorry if I made your experience sound trivial, as that wasn’t my intention.

back into the subject though: i do think having stuff like that online is harmful. i agree a lot of the issue is adult spaces mixing with kids spaces, but I really do struggle to believe that seeing something like rape being glorified doesnt effect people, even if they’re adults. no people aren’t gonna go “whelp, time to rape people” as soon as they read something like that, but exposure over time to explicitly non con (not consentual non con) stuff i think does alter your perception of whats “okay”. its in fact the reason id argue my abusive ex ended up thinking its fine to cross peoples boundaries, because of how many times they repeatedly encountered that stuff either online or in their own art after discovering it online.

i just dont buy this idea that fiction never effects reality. fiction that glorifies certain actions without making it clear its bad in some way will embolden people. and while i dont think someone just. plays grand theft auto and starts shooting everyone and stealing their cars, i do believe it can make someone (subconsciously, obv no one directly thinks like this) questioning if they wanna be violent become violent because of how much “fun” it seems in the games or that it becomes “less of a big deal”.

I dont have a solution for moderating this stuff. and I’m also very against censoring things, I literally have a comic thats about a self insert whos a rape victim and going into that story, but bc I worry people will completely miss the point and end up fetishizing the rape, i’ve decided not to actually add anything in the comic that is directly read as rape, rather just hint at it, because honestly it also effects me on a very real level, it’s very triggering for me to see that kind of imagery (and its already hard for me to write the comic bc of the villain being a rapist and how triggering he is to me) but also because I think it could fundamentally alter someones perception of whats fine, especially if they already hate me.

it’s not like *all* depictions of certain things are bad but it depends on whether or not its glorifying that thing and not making it at all clear that its bad. the stuff i was exposed to as a kid explicitly suggested that it was fine and normal, and id argue a lot of fucked up porn online is that- there’s so much fucked up porn made by (likely) cishet dudes that glorifies raping/torturing/killing anime girls or whatever and I just struggle to believe its just an outlet for what they want to do, like i dont think theyre just “getting it all out” in the image, if anything, i think those drawings they make embolden them more. they draw them because they want to see that stuff happen, not because they want to avoid actually hurting people. i really doubt these dudes, if they had access to a girl they could easily over power, wouldn’t try some of that sort of shit on her, at the very least rape her.

I don’t know what the solution is, but i really do not think we need to make space for dudes like that. and i also think its just factually incorrect to say that fiction never effects reality. of course, fiction is born from reality, but its the fact that that subject material is now being spread to a wider audience that makes it effect reality.

I’m worried when this topic comes up that people think the internet should just be a “free for all” and that “anything should go”, that bc we experience censorship in queer spaces that suddenly means everything should be on the table “because conservatives hate us anyways so why not just let it all loose?”. that people will do a 180 from whatever a conservative does, as if that’s helpful in this instance. I do think theres stuff that shouldn’t be tolerated or accepted in our spaces. not saying you dont agree necessarily but thats my general worry about all of this. I really dont think its as revolutionary as people think to go “conservatives think im a horrible person anyways for being queer so that means fuck it all and all kinks are created equal now”, I really do think theres stuff we need to keep out of our community or at least try to, no matter what conservatives say. I think people really need to figure out how to divorce whatever conservatives think and feel from what they think is the best course of action. just because a conservatives does A doesnt mean we should do B, etc. I think thats an attitude that can actually be easily exploited by the right and used against us.

Idk. I have a lot of thoughts on this. All i know is i never want to encounter cp or the weird rape/torture/killing fetish’s some dudes online have. i also dont think there should be any spaces for that. if people NEED to draw it for whatever reason (gonna be hard to convince me they NEED to, but) then they need to keep it to themselves. i dont think there needs to be communities built around this because those communities specifically with the dudes is gonna breed people who are even more misogynistic and who feel even more entitled to womens bodies since they have so many other guys around them agreeing with them. and no, not letting them build public communities isnt going to change or fix the problem, but it sure as hell will prevent people from having to encounter that shit and have their trauma be retriggered.

I want to be clear that I dont think this is necessarily what you’re advocating for, im not entirely sure what you think is the best course of action, but it feels like thats what some ppl on here thinks is the best solution, and that attitude worries me so much.

i will say though that i dont think the government, at least the current USA christofash one we live under, should be moderating this stuff, because they’re obviously just gonna ban content they disagree with (but thats a whole other topic). I at the very least distrust any of our current governments moves to censor things.

and i have once comment in regards to this comment:

obviously ideally we would live in a world where kids aren’t able to access that stuff, but even so, I really do think theres shit that people just shouldnt be posting, because it does effect other adults negatively too, speaking from experience. its not something i know if we can fully moderate but its something i dont think we should just let slide. i also just dont understand why anyone would feel the need to post their rape porn or whatever, anyways.

I think a lot of the issues around this “censorship” thing really falls back into who’s doing the censoring and why. bc while ppl like me might want to be more nuanced about it, the current people who have more power lean more into puritanism and decide all sexual content is bad. It really does feel like an issue of preventing puritanical christian bs from infiltrating our politics, yet again (its always the puritanical christian bs 🙄) and the ppl holding those values having more power and control over the content. idk. i hope this makes sense, ik its kinda all over the place. and im sorry for kneejerk reacting the way I did initially.

Hey, I'm a big time fan of your blog and the circle of blogs similar to it. I love the pro-kink stuff, I love the support of transfun and the general concept that you can vibe with whatever gender and identity you want, I love the positivity, I love bringing attention to trans masc issues.

But I've been seeing some alarming dogwhistles lately. And I've been ignoring them because I really really want to just believe that they were unintentional. But with a recent post you reblogged, I have to ask you something - not out of discourse reasons or to paint you a specific way but because I want to decide what type of people I interact with on tumblr. If you decide to answer my question, please be incredibly clear. I'm not going to hide it behind vague terms like "certain kinks" or "problematic media", I am going to also be incredibly clear.

Do you genuinely believe that if we were in a society where fictional child porn and incest was the norm, that it would have no negative effects on our society as a whole? That media does not represent or change our cultural norms, that fiction can not be used as either propaganda nor as a way to help someone see things in a new light (for better or worse)?

Please be straightforward in your response. Even if it's just a yes or no.

that's a tough question. a quick but unnuanced answer is that I know the meanings behind these when I reblog them, and I do so because I agree with their general messages

the longer answer is... if these things were the norm then people would definitely be interacting with it differently than they do now I think. in some ways they already are somewhat normal, schoolgirl costumes and step-family roleplay come to mind.

ideally, in a world where these fantasies are completely normalized so is education on consent and safety. I don't think there's any real uncomplicated answer to it. but in the world we live in now, as long as things are labeled and not put into spaces where they're inappropriate, there's not really as much harm as some people just feeling uncomfortable

even if these things magically disappeared entirely (which they won't, and as someone with OCD I'd rather have them labeled than out in the wild), they still aren't the source of harm

I said it earlier, but I was groomed with the game tetris. under this framework of media causing harm, where do you go from there? it's a game about blocks, should we ban it and legos too for good measure?

sorry for talking so much when you wanted a short answer, but there's so much nuance here and I like explaining context instead of putting just a little bit of my thoughts out

[vyladromeave]

U talked ab the whole werewolf wedding scene and all the stuff kind of. Eh about it and like the in-between moments being....weird. How would you go ab like.....fixing how it went? Or would it be better to get rid of completely in the plot ? What aspects would u want to change? :0

ooook so first of all i would take out abby completely. i like abby a lot and the potential she holds but introducing her there just felt forced, esp to not do anything with her afterwards. I think including her in S2 is a good move as long as you do something with her. Katelyn only really starts to get more development later in the season and I feel like that would be the time to drop Abby on the party, since of everyone she would have closest ties to probably Katelyn and Aphmau.

fenrir wanting vengeance was bullshit. dont do that. yes its his dad and he can be sad over his dad being dead obviously but like. he doesn't need to seek vengeance for that. for something that was ultimately kinda their people's fault. its just.... not fun. like did you not learn your lesson. did you not remember why this started in the first place.

I almost want to remove that it was a werewolf thing entirely just because I don't like how the werewolf tribe in s2 was handled compared to boldolfs in s1... like "society developing" does not just mean turning into big castle number 273862. (although it was definitely still better compared to the second tribe we encountered in s1.)

I almost want to make it a tu'la/meifwa thing entirely since that would be a more natural introduction to tu'la for the season. like having it be a meifwa thing instead of werewolf thing. i feel like something closer to Ghibli The Cat Returns would work better honestly. Obvs not as silly as the movie but u get what i mean yknow yk.

I definitely wouldn't want to get rid of it completely bcs it is a big moment for laurance and what triggers his arc of Being A Shadowknight which was something that was sorely needed after it having not a lot of consequences in s1.

I'm a little bit torn on the consequences of the arc itself bcs in MCD we dont really... get any...... even though they're threatened? (not until s3 and they suck LMAO) like on one hand i want there to be something more lasting because that was a big fucking murder you just did there. but also on the other hand i feel like each party vehemently avoiding eachother does things to me on a thematic level. like them just leaving quietly and the queen just lowering her head and letting it happen, knowing that this violence could have been avoided and now its too late, choosing not to perpetuate the cycle.... i think leaving that specific tribe alone for the rest of the story would be nice just to give them a break honestly. but also because its a tu'la thing it maybe sets them up with a reputation with them when they start dealing with tu'la more. i feel like that works.

OH and to fix the inbetween moments themselves, 1: make it a liiiittle shorter. no offense but we dont need a lot of time developing fenrir & ylva, especially if they’re not coming back. 2: Aphmau should make a more substantial effort to escape on her own, even if it doesn’t work. 3: Katelyn being stuck in prison also doesn’t sit right with me shes literally The Fire Fist i think she could punch through those bars if you gave her enough time. So she needs to be in some different kind of peril or those bars need to be upped big time. 4: No Irene lore it did Not fit in at that moment read the room. 

and 5: I think Aphmau should also vehemently reject the wedding during the ceremony she has nothing to lose at that point. And seeing her in distress is what makes Laurance transform, not seeing her about to marry. Bcs ultimately he cares about her and her safety and I think that gets the point across better.

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

[doktorneek]

Moss creature here to say, let's focus on some positives. What are your fav things of bioshock 1 & 2? :)

just a few things off the top of my head cause if i sit down and think about it i will be writing a full on analysis lol

the worldbuilding in general is the main reason i like the first 2 games, i got obsessed with them super young before i was analysing games as games so just the setting and art direction and all these weird scary but believable concepts were something i loved a lot, i remember seeing the trailer for the first game on tv before we had the internet at my house so i had no way to look it up to watch it again so the memory of it was just mutating in my head as this scary underwater thing with a robot i was obsessed with wanting to see for ages, then when i saw the bio2 tv trailer i freaked the fuck out and spent like 3 days rewatching it on the internet channel on the wii bc i didnt have my own laptop lmao

how creative they got with making the science behind everything grounded, like the ghosts being hallucinations of memories stored in adam and the way plasmids arent just unexplainable superpowers

i love morbid scifi and transhumanism and body horror so the big daddies n little sisters were always one of my fav things just from anything, especially appreciate the big daddy process never being explicitly shown and we just get passive details like people being grafted into the suit/the voice modifier jack uses being this scary blender claw and all the stuff in point prometheus scattered about so ur imagination fills in the blanks

eleanor n delta as characters bc i love chars forced into rly tragic bittersweet situations… them especially in good playthroughs bc they both clearly love each other despite them initially being brought together through such horrible circumstances... charles and mark too

also tenenbaum my love my muse my everything i love that they let her be weird and gross and creepy and mean, eleanor too actually i was a weird annoying little girl eating crayons playing it and i was like wow she is literally me................

honestly… i kno people criticise the way they slotted lamb into things in bio2 but i think there was no better way to add anything as big as sofia. its the kindest and most respectful to the lore bio1 lays out as it could be and even tho it cut off a lot directions they could have gone with bio2 i love that they did as much with the concept of ryan trying to erase someone from raptures history as they could and played off that idea to give other characters interesting stories

the level design usually being a nice halfway point between a realistic layout for the locations that you can picture being lived/worked/walked around in as normal and a decent layout for gameplay in general

some of my fav ui design aesthetically, appreciate a game taking the effort to keep ui consistent with theme and art direction and i love the little instructional videos lol, same with some fallout stuff i love really obviously dangerous stuff being presented as a product with little mascots and logos and i love robb waters' artstyle for them and the achievements

theres a lot of instances of it through both games but stuff where mechanics and unavoidable gameplay necessities are woven into the plot, biggest example being the fact that bio1 essentially built its plot around the trope (? probably a better word for it but i cant think of it rn) of having a guide tell you to do things and you have to do them or you cant progress and that turning out to be a manchurian candidate deal where you were doing it because you were conditioned to follow orders, and that in itself being a huge plot point and it being written so tightly into the lore where it doesnt feel out of place because of the whole theme of genetic experimentation

theres obvs way more i could say but i dont wanna clog things with like 18 pages of stuff lol, ty for this ask though i do love writing about games i luv 💚