#obsessed with Poseidon Athena Hera and Hermes designs

[0intothewoods0]

Epic: The Musical X Life Series AU (this is just a list of who would be who, because your girl can’t draw to save a life)

It started with a ‘ wow I can kinda see life series Lizzie and Joel singing a Penelope and Ody song in the life series’ and now I have a new AU that I can’t draw because I dropped art and resigned myself to make animatics in my head instead.

(Take a shot every time I use vibes as reasoning and every time you think I’m coping over the end of wild life and epic)

Odysseus = Joel

It just fits, also I thought of Joel and Lizzie when thinking about Penelope and Ody so here we are. Also I want Joel to have his beard from last life start to grow over the course of the musical.

after jimmy (polites) dies, instead of wearing his tie around his head, we wears one of Jimmy’s canary feathers.

Penelope = Lizzie 

I mean if Joel is Ody, it just makes sense. Also idk the characters feel similar (according to my brain, which usually can’t be trusted).

Zeus = BigB

vibes. Pure vibes. Also I liked the BigB watcher theory and it just works here so give him watcher wings and eyes for this. Oh and in the horse and the infant make him talk to Joel using a jack-o-lantern that appears and disappears and Joel moves around.

Eurylochus = Grian

bad boys. That’s it, that’s the reasoning. Could see him singing luck runs out cuz of watcher lore (TM)

Polites = Jimmy

bad boys and tell me you can’t imagine life series Jimmy singing open  arms.

Athena = Gem

It’s just perfect. Also gem and Joel duo in wild life. Also warrior gem.

Aeolus = Skizz

Skizz has the whole angel thing going on and angels are in the sky. My logic and reasoning is amazing guys.

Poseidon = Etho

They’re obsessed with each other in every universe. Also I had Etho as Zeus at some point but then I remembered Poseidon existed.

Circe = Pearl 

Specifically red life Pearl with her Cloke. She’s gotta have the Cloke guys think of the vibes, give Pearl magic.

Hermes = Bdubs

Life series Bdubs and hermes are the same person. The vibes are there and they are strong.

Tiresias = Scar

specifically last life scar. There is a mysterious wind that follows him around that makes the Cloke flow dramatically behind him.

Telemachus = Martyn

Idk what my reasoning here is I think it’s just vibes again. Also I want to see Martyn fight ren.

Antinous = Ren

I wanted to see Martyn fight ren. Also specifically 3rd life red life Ren for the design.

Calypso = Jimmy 

it’s just Jimmy again except like genderbent. It would be funny.

Apollo = Scott

purely vibes.

Hephaestus = Mumbo

red stone man do red stone.

Aphrodite = Impulse

again, purely vibes.

Ares = Tango

mostly just wanted to see tango and gem sword fight.

Hera = Cleo

both of them are queens.

[sciencestyled]

Pandora’s Bizarre Brainy Adventure: How Curiosity (Almost) Killed the Cat

It was a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece. I, Pandora, was lounging around Mount Olympus, trying to keep myself out of trouble. You know, after that whole box incident, I’ve been on a sort of divine probation. Zeus had given me strict instructions to stay away from anything resembling a container, and honestly, my reputation could use a bit of polishing. But as anyone who knows me will tell you, curiosity is my middle name.

One fateful afternoon, I found myself in Athena’s library. While leafing through scrolls on human anatomy, I stumbled upon a strange contraption labeled “Neuroimaging: The Ultimate Mind Reader.” Intrigued, I couldn’t resist tinkering with it. Little did I know, this machine was designed to peer into the very depths of the brain, revealing secrets and thoughts better left unexamined. In hindsight, maybe that label should’ve been a clue.

As I fiddled with the buttons, a hologram of a brain appeared, swirling with colors and lights. Before I could say “Hera’s handbag,” the machine started whirring and sparking. Suddenly, I was transported into the minds of various gods and mortals alike. And let me tell you, the stuff I saw—Hera plotting her next scheme against Zeus, Poseidon’s obsessive collection of seashells, and even Hermes practicing his stand-up comedy routines—was pure, unfiltered drama.

Then, a thought struck me: what if I could use this technology to uncover the most fascinating, scandalous, and downright hilarious secrets of the human brain? Surely, the mortals would be just as interested in this juicy gossip as I was! Plus, it would be a great way to redeem myself. So, I decided to write an article, spilling the beans on the latest and greatest in neuroimaging.

Of course, nothing ever goes smoothly. My first attempt to use the machine on a mortal brain resulted in chaos. The poor fellow ended up thinking he was a chicken for three days straight. But after a few more mishaps (and some stern words from Athena), I finally got the hang of it. I discovered that neuroimaging could expose everything from your deepest fears to your most embarrassing memories. It was like having the ultimate gossip box at my fingertips!

Excited by my findings, I began crafting my article. I decided to call it “Pandora’s Gossip Box: Exposing the Brain’s Juiciest Secrets with Neuroimaging.” Catchy, right? I delved into the wonders of MRI, fMRI, PET scans, and even EEG and MEG, each offering a different way to snoop on the brain’s activities. The possibilities were endless, and the drama was off the charts.

Take MRI, for instance. It’s like a front-row seat to the brain’s private affairs. Imagine catching those sneaky hydrogen atoms in the act, spinning and twirling like they’re at an Olympian gala. And fMRI? That’s like reality TV for the brain, capturing every scandalous neural activity in real-time. PET scans, with their radioactive sugar, are the undercover agents of the brain world, lighting up hotspots of activity like a divine soiree.

I also couldn’t resist adding a section on EEG and MEG, the brain’s wiretaps. These technologies eavesdrop on electrical and magnetic chatter, revealing the brain’s most fleeting thoughts and impulses. It’s like having a spy cam in your noggin, capturing every moment without disturbing a single hair on your head.

As I penned my article, I realized how neuroimaging raised important ethical questions about privacy and consent. It’s one thing to gossip about the gods, but quite another to pry into the minds of mortals. Still, the potential benefits for understanding the brain and diagnosing diseases were undeniable. I was hooked.

So, dear readers, that’s how a simple trip to Athena’s library led me down the rabbit hole of neuroimaging. From the quirky quirks of the gods to the complex mysteries of the human mind, this journey has been nothing short of exhilarating. And now, I invite you to join me in exploring the brain’s juiciest secrets. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of gossip, especially when it’s all in the name of science?

Now, buckle up and get ready for “Pandora’s Gossip Box: Exposing the Brain’s Juiciest Secrets with Neuroimaging.” Trust me, you won’t want to miss this scandalous peek inside that thick skull of yours!

[hamable]

All 2020 AND 2021 pins back in stock?!?!

[avicebro]

Artemis: Where Fate May Have Gone Wrong

Okay, this might be stupid and fruitless, but, okay, here’s a meta post defending some (not all) of Artemis and Orion in Fate/Grand Order. This is mainly “where might have fate gone wrong”,  really. 

First off, let’s get the obvious out of the way:

Artemis and Orion’s relationship is horrible, non-consensual, and is overall not funny. Orion is not interested in Artemis at all, insults her, and he routinely talks about or hits on other women. In turn, she appears to be obsessed with him, in almost-yandere territory. Most of the jokes involve Orion trying to escape her and her making jokes about awn, he loves her so much! The art usually includes Orion escaping Artemis, or Artemis doing something harmful to him.

I’m not going to talk about this a lot because people have already discussed it a lot, and I think it’s the main reason why people dislike her. Maybe if she spooked you, too. Her writing in her own event and the Okeanos chapter leaves much to be desired. Nevertheless, I think people have already spoken enough about why they dislike her.

Here’s why I think she’s not…as…bad….as I think people make her out to be.

Second point: let’s talk about Artemis and Orion in mythos.

Artemis is characterized in mythos as being a pretty fair goddess, associated with hunting, childbirth, her brother Apollo, and virginity. She asks her father Zeus to stand by her vow of chastity and kills a man, Acheron, for seeing her and her huntresses bathing.

I say she’s pretty fair because for the most part she isn’t a very vengeful goddess? Acheron did see her bathing. She sends down plagues and arrows against the Greeks because one, she supports Troy, and two, because they defiled Apollo’s priestesses. Similarly, she hurts Niobe because Niobe boasted that she was a better mother than Artemis and Apollo’s mother.

Depending on the version of the myths surrounding Agamemnon you read, she refused the Greeks leaving for Troy because Agamemnon boasted that he was a better hunter than her. She makes less sense if you use the Aeschylus reasoning, where she basically makes up an excuse. Something could be said for making Iphigenia be sacrificed, but then again, some variants of the myth have Artemis saving Iphigenia. The matter of whether or not gods are fair, or should be fair, is a whole matter of debate that I have no time to get into, but if we compare her to Athena, for example, then I would say that she’s fair.

If we discuss Orion, he’s characterized as a typical son of Poseidon (we’re going to ignore the version with Poseidon, Zeus, Hermes and a bull hide. If you’re curious, it’s on Wikipedia). He has a large, commanding presence, a giant who could walk on water. He is blinded after attacking a princess, and after being healed by Helios, he meets Artemis and Leto. He’s a very skilled hunter, and boasts that he will kill every beast on Earth. Gaia, mother Earth and more famously the mother of these beasts, sends a scorpion to kill him. After his death, Artemis asks Zeus to place him up in the stars, which he does.

In many ways his characterization echoes similar Greek heroes, primarily other sons of Poseidon, Theseus and Bellerophon, and of course, as this is Greek myth: Heracles.

Orion is the only man Artemis exhibits feelings for, having a strong bond from hunting together. Whether or not this is romantic is really up to you. If anything, they're close, enough that when he is killed by his own hubris, she asks for him to be put into the stars. I’ve seen this used as an example of why she’s demiromantic asexual, or sometimes her relationship with Orion is shoved under the rug. I don’t think this relationship is a la Athena, like her and Odysseus, for example, and it isn’t on the Aphrodite side. While it is fun to try and look at god’s sexualities, I would say that in the Greek Pantheon canon, her relationship with Orion should be viewed as romantic. Or, for any a-spec people, a QPP.

This is all to say that I think that Artemis being summoned with Orion, for me, makes sense. She was one of the first goddesses to appear in fate/grand order. I think that their subversion of expectation by making her actually be Artemis, and not just a cis-swapped Orion, was actually kind of smart for fate? It’s still…not good…because Orion is a teddy bear… but I mean… part of it was smart, I guess.

Artemis being summoned with Orion makes sense because Orion was the only hero Artemis cared for. She mourned for his death. If you wish to summon a goddess, having one that is perhaps with the hero that they cared most for, makes sense to me. If Hera comes with Jason, or Athena with Odysseus, or if Aeneas gets summoned with his mom Aphrodite.  

Unfortunately, this doesn’t explain a) why Orion hates Artemis or b) why Artemis acts like that.

Anyways, now we gotta talk more about Greek Mythology and why it’s complicated.                                                                                                             

Greek Mythology likes to push gods together. Dionysus is probably a whole bunch of gods squished together which is why his characterization makes no sense. Aphrodite is probably much older than Ancient Greece and probably comes from somewhere else, which is why her backstory is confusing. Poseidon and Zeus are likely the same Indo-European god, just split in two. Some gods are the literal beings of things: Gaia, the Earth, with her son/husband Uranus, the sky. The mountains, the sea, the ocean, the darkness, the night, the underworld and the eternal chaos, are all gods, too.

This makes a lot of gods are not…necessary? Okay that’s rude. But a lot of gods have similar roles. This sometimes results in gods being squished together, like with Dionysus. The most common variant of this is with Apollo and Helios, and Artemis and Selene.

Helios and Selene, and their sister Eos, the dawn, continue the days with their chariots by drawing the sun, the night, or the dawn, behind them. Sometimes they’re also the personification of the sun or the moon, which is why Helios can see all. Apollo taking over the role of drawing the chariot of the sun wasn’t hard, because Helios isn’t really known for too many myths and ultimately Apollo’s characterization is pretty simple, but Artemis and Selene were a little bit more difficult, because of one myth, about a man named Endymion.

Endymion is a beautiful man, and Selene falls head over heels in love with him. Unfortunately, because she is either the moon or can only come out at night, she only sees him when he’s sleeping. But that’s okay! Some variants of the myth have it so that she prefers when he’s sleeping! Anyways, she goes to Zeus, and asks for him to be immortal. Depending on the variant of the myth, he either needs to keep him asleep so he remains immortal, or she asks for him to remain asleep. Either way, she marries him, and has 50 children with him. While he’s asleep. Selene, please. That’s… that’s not consensual Selene.

So, when Selene’s myths were going to be combined with Selene’s, this one has never really fit. Diana, the Roman equivalent, does have the Endymion myth attached to her as well, but again, it doesn’t really work with the rest of Artemis’ (or Diana’s) myths. This one sticks out as basically Selene’s myth, which was awkwardly tacked onto Artemis.

Now I hope you can see where I’m trying to go with this in terms of fate/grand order.

I feel like FGO wanted to incorporate Orion, because he’s a famous Greek archer. And perhaps they didn’t know how they wanted to design him, or maybe originally, he was going to be a cis-swap, with more moon aesthetic because he is in the stars. It’s difficult to really say. Either way, when the twist that it’s actually Artemis with Orion as a tiny bear was decided upon, and the question of how to characterize Artemis, and Orion, came up. For some reason they were at the ‘we can’t have heterosexual couples in fgo’ part of FGO (thanks Cleopatra and Caesar), so instead of having them be either two good friends who help and have a strong bond with each other, or having them be romantic partners, they decided to have them be the stock ‘husband hates wife who loves him’ trope.

(side note but thank you lost belt for writing good heterosexual couples I love Sigurd/Brynhildr).

This may have come from Artemis’ “myth” with Endymion. Endymion, while probably well known in Japan because of Sailor Moon, probably isn’t strong enough as a hero. So, they took “Artemis’” characterization with Endymion and used it with Orion. Instead of telling the real story.

This is still really shitty on so many levels. The terrible writing. The fact that they took a bond formed on hunting talent and turned it into…that. Artemis’ ‘useless goddess’ personality, because for some reason goddesses can’t be talented and strong in their own rights, and have to be clumsy and ‘useless’. The continued problem with fate where a female character can’t be a little more complex. The fact that even if Artemis, in this interpretation, loves Orion, if you ask, male master, she will totally leave him and will love you. This continues to be a reoccurring problem, even with newer female characters.

Her design. Don’t worry, I didn’t forget the design.

When you picture Artemis, you imagine a muscled, sporty woman, probably around early twenties, with a bow, arrows, and a deer. Her hair is pulled back and her clothes don’t exhibit her from the hunt. She’s not commonly sexualized, partly because of the vow of chastity, but she isn’t in the sense that Athena wasn’t sexualized, for example, or Hestia, another virgin goddess.

The design for Artemis is more similar to Aphrodite with some moon aspects thrown in.

I’m not saying the design is…. bad…I’m just saying it’s bad for her. This is not what you imagine an Artemis, or a Diana, for example. It feels too sexual for someone who, based on the myths, doesn’t exhibit a desire for sex. I do enjoy the bow and the moon aspects, and I think if it was Selene, it would probably work pretty well. But it doesn’t work for an Artemis.

(Also, her skillset doesn’t really work with Artemis either. I digress. This is too long anyways.)

So, what we get is a tacked-on myth and characterization that fits Selene on top of Artemis, for a hero that Selene doesn’t even interact with, Orion. This culminates in Artemis being a ditsy, love-obsessed, useless goddess that keeps Orion in an abusive relationship. However, fgo has given itself, and is slowly working on, a way to fix this.

This is when we put our thinking caps on.

This is mainly from Beast’s Lair from what I gather, so props to them for this. Mainly the idea is that Artemis isn’t a goddess, but a robot. There are a couple of pieces to support this idea. Ishtar, when discussing Orion, says, “I hear that person is a deity of Greece? I guess she is a robot?”

During the most recent summer event, Artemis gets upset when Orion doesn’t want to buy doujins related to robots. Finally, there’s her final art, which includes her pulling a reactor-like device from her hip/thigh.

Whether or not this is true I don’t know and why fate is doing this but anyways.

The second thing is that Orion might be showing up in Lost Belt, and probably Lost Belt 5, which is going to be centered around Greek servants. Spoilers but it’s probably going to include Poseidon, who is Orion’s father, so there could be something to that that they could explore. Furthermore, Lost Belt has done a good job at creating healthy, heterosexual relationships. If this Artemis is a robot, then maybe Orion is the real Orion. Maybe Orion likes this version of Artemis, like how Sigurd likes Brynhildr, despite her strong personality. Maybe it will be revealed that Artemis is really Selene, and the teddy bear is Endymion, trapped. Maybe she acts like this because those who created her didn’t understand her myths.

Anyways. I try to end these by possible improvements but we just have to wait until Lost Belt 5 is released, I guess.

I guess what I’m saying is that FGO has a lot that they can do to make Artemis work. And they don’t want her to be shoved under the rug. So, they should do the good things with her. Continue the trend with healthy heterosexual relationships (and some non-fetishistic homosexual ones, please, too) in Lost Belt, please.

And finally, Artemis deserves better.

[unpublishedbooks]

Okay but the greek gods as high school stereotypes

Zeus is the homecoming king, date-rapey, wears crowns to school half the week, football star, wears a lot of red clothes, daddy issues, dating Hera but mad cause she won't put out, cheats, has fathered 3 kids but payed the moms off, unliked by fathers, doesn’t read, “No you’re stupid” “I know you are but what am I?”

Hera is the super protective, top of the class, teaches home ec to underclassman, willingly takes the robot babies for fun, vintage sundresses, homecoming queen, loves reading, abstinence advocator, 

Athena is tiptop of the class, v v smart but will fuck you up, wears blazers, vegan, will not hesitate to tell you she is vegan, started chess club, is president of chess club, is the only one in chess club, Quiz bowl, 

Apollo is designated gay guy, throws the best parties, always lit, super tan, spends summers in Tahiti, really likes hummus, shitty poetry slams at the local bars, “come to my poetry slam Tuesday night!” Drums on everything, takes more time on his hair than his homework

Artemis, super gay, wears a lot of jewelry, blogs all night, skips school for first day of hunting season, wears white camo, eats meninists for breakfast, loves the bell jar, dog person

Dionysus wears Hawaiian shirts 24/7, drinks before school, does everything but heroin because that is too far, water bottles filled with vodka, dabs ironically, puts Monster in his coffee and drinks it, spends all his money on booze, eats two bags of Doritos a day

Poseidon-- captain of the swim team, ironically doesn't like fish, has sea food allergy, has a shark stuffed animal, wears board shorts to school, talks about surfing but can't surf, talks with Californian accent but is from Ohio, “radical”, bucket hats, orange spray tan, cried watching finding nemo

Hades, oldest but his family hates him, wears nothing but black, still in the scene phase, secretly likes Justin Bieber, girlfriend goes to a different school, “you wouldn’t know her”, spikes hair every day but always brushes it out because “it doesn’t look good”. every day. “welcome to my twisted mind” blog title, guyliner, joined theatre as a joke, is really good at it, under appreciated, watches one tree hill in his free time

Persephone-- flower child gone goth, irrational fear of pomegranates, dog person, “It’s complicated” relationship status. only drinks long island ice teas, flower crown and punk edits, wears crop tops and ripped jeans, in love with my chemical romance, cosplay youtuber

Aphrodite-- settler in the relationship, cheating on her boyfriend, tells people she is in an open relationship, has had so many abortions her next one is free, wears pink ever Wednesday, spends all her money at Victoria’s secret, Instagram famous, personal relationship with Kylie Jenner, wants to be a model, wears crop tops and skater skirts, makeup youtuber, “I was the sidechick”

Hermes-- meme trash, works in school office, wears cardigans, on the track team, studied abroad, afraid of heights, wears nike sandals with socks, wants to be a doctor, tweets for a living, Dabs unironically, trolls everyone

Hephaestus-- Girlfriend is cheating on him, reacher in relationship, loves star trek, relates to Spock, makes model airplanes, mommy issues, kind heart, hard worker, pure cinnamon roll. wears a lot of flannels, and work boots 24/7, hates his brother Ares, only reason there is a handy cap entrance, 

Hestia--Possible arsonist, dad is an asshole, cozy fire aesthetic, slut-shamer, obsessed with disney movies, always has tea, wears cardigans, “too hot for you” mug, still sleeps with a stuffed animal at 18, best tipper

Demeter -- mom friendTM, seasonal wardrobes, texts you to make sure you ate, loves a good nude lip but is always down for a plum, goes by Demi,, hates when people rhyme her name with things, has a life style blog, minimalist.

Hypnose-- Deadass, sleeps all day, failing all classes because he doesn’t do his homework, anxiety, loves camomile tea, loves catcher in the rye, binge watches a new tv show every week

Ares-- only drinks fireball, head of the wrestling team, tried to fight teacher, will fight you, will fight his dog, will fight your dog, claims to have wrestled a bear, motorcycle, also wears guy liner, has a designated detention seat, calls the principle by first name, really good with little kids, makes a child army, WOW, rage quitter, texts Hephaestus that he stole his girl 24/7

@barackohanameansfamily @trainer-of-mischief @twelve-percent-pepper