#observer would just force Noah to say this

[bitterbanter]

I had to do this

[magnificentstrawberryomen]

warm and alive (noah sebastian x reader one shot)

18+, mdni, sexual talk, smut, f oral receiving, p and v unprotected (wrap it before u tap it ;))

it was late in the evening, and the dark had already taken over the sky. the puffs of air escaping from my lips raised up in the air, disappearing like smoke around me. it was cold outside, making me bury my hands deeper in the pockets of my black coat, that was despite the furry layer on the inside failing to keep me warm tonight.

music was blasting through my ears, distracting me and keeping me company on my walk home. despite my mind always wandering off because of the melodies and lyrics creating images inside my mind because i loved to daydream, i was focused enough to also be in enough touch of my surroundings and get into my street safely.

as i looked around me, the apartment building across from my own had several lights on in different windows. most were just the classic warm yellow one, and some had different colors, like red, pink or blue. my eyes dart around, and pause at a certain window. a tall figure, belonging to a young man, leans on his open window with both his elbows, as long drags of his cigarette escapes from his mouth. he was fully covered in all kinds of colored, mostly faded tattoos. i had never seen him before, he must have just moved in here, since the apartment was empty for a week or two.

his dark eyes landed back down on me, making contact, looking intrigued and interested as they were slightly narrowed, taking in my physique quickly. his dark chocolate, mid long hair was slightly pushed back, just a strand hanging in front of his eyes, and a tight black tee shows how well trained his arms and chest were. it made my heart jump for a moment, and my throat turned slightly tighter because of some nerves kicking in, a small flutter going through my stomach.

there was absolutely no denying that this man was extremely attractive, and by the way his lips that were going back around his cigarette turned into a slight smirk he clearly noticed my slightly more nervous behavior, and i quickly looked down again, eyes stuck on the concrete tiles underneath my feet, even though they rather stayed on the man instead, completely captivated by him already.

and we both didn't seem to be able to forget that short moment of observation. the following week, every time i'd come home back from work he'd be there again, hanging out the window, sometimes sitting on his windowsill with one leg hanging out whilst smoking, the other one stretched out in front of him. every single time, we would make eye contact. every day it would be longer, by looking at him earlier as i crossed my street. the more we did it, the less shy i became, not letting my eyes dart away that easily like i did before. he pulled me in like some magnet, with a strong electric force, and it did more and more with me each time.

blushing, a rapid heartbeat---and breathing even at some point, as i became more and more hypnotized by his longing stare---trembling legs, stomach in knots and heat in my chest, but most of all, a very frustrating feeling between my goddamn thighs as well. and the longer we would stare, the quicker and stronger it was there.

and he absolutely knew, because he would lick his lips, he would take a longer drag of his cigarette, rolling it around between his long wise and middle finger, and his eyes became darker and more intense. they would take in every step, every inhale, every movement of my curves, every outfit i'd wear, the way my hair was styled that day, the way i was batting my lashes at him.

we longed for each other, but still wouldn't say a word.

one evening, as i once again grew tired of the hooks of my bra pressing uncomfortably against my back, i decided to take it off, something i always do after a long day of work. as i walked towards the window of my bedroom to close the curtains, my heart made a big jump---he was there. right in my view, right across my own window, facing me as well.

a lump appeared in my throat, and he stared right back. his window was closed now, and he was not hanging out of it as usual with a cigarette in hand---instead it seemed like he was just about to close his own curtains as well. we were literally mirroring the same pose, having our curtain in hand, but pausing as soon as our eyes met. my heart was hammering, and he was just staring, as if he was waiting, waiting for my next move---almost daring me to make a move.

and then, as heat was spreading not only to my cheeks but also my whole entire body, i took off my shirt, letting it drop to the ground, revealing my bra i was about to take off next. the corners of his mouth slowly and slightly curled up, eyes narrowing as usual, taking in the sight of my chest in the black lace. one corner of my lips couldn't help but twitched up as well---sultry like, mischievous wise.

then, i slowly slid the straps off my shoulders, and it almost looked like that made his breath hitch in his throat for a moment. one of my hands slowly got behind my back, the daring glimmer of my own eyes never leaving his, unclasping it. the lace fell to the ground, revealing my chest to him, and that made one of his brows rise in amusement, his pupils seeming to get darker somehow, blending in with the color of his irises.

my smile slightly widened as i took in his little needy expression, his eyes ranking down as if he wished he could take the rest off me as well, and i then closed the curtains---letting a big shaky breath escape from my lips that i pulled between my teeth next.

fuck, that excited me a lot, and i saw his lustful eyes in front of me still, as i closed my own. my lips then slightly parted as more heavy breathing escaped, feeling worked up, feeling desperate. desperate for my mysterious and attractive neighbor to do something about it, instead of my trembling fingers that went down slowly.

but after a few minutes, i then heard some loud knocking on my door downstairs, making me open my eyes and jumping me awake out of my steamy trance. a frustrated sound escaped my mouth as my heart hammered in my chest, quickly putting on a robe as i made my way down stairs, wondering who needs me at this time after work.

when i opened the door, i needed to tightly hold the door handle for support of not stumbling backwards, as i met the two dark brown eyes of the neighbor from across the street now standing in front of me. and god, he was even taller like this, making me need to tilt my head up to him, my eyes taking him in quickly before doing so. he was wearing a loose tank top with sweats underneath despite the weather, and his muscular, tattooed arms were being exposed even more, and a part of his just as tattooed chest as well.

'good evening,' his deep, slightly hoarse voice greeted me from the cold, chilly air outside, both making me slightly shiver. his eyes slowly ranked to my robe, being slightly loose because of the quick knot i had to make to hold the thin, light blue fabric together. the corner of his mouth slightly tugged up because of that, his stare like fire burning right through me, before meeting my gaze again.

'i had to stop by after that little show you did for me,' he then continued, his hands in the pocket of his sweats as he slightly tilted his head to the side, which made it hard for me to function properly, to get out my first words to him as smoothly as he seemed to be able to talk to me.

i cleared my throat and took in a quiet, shaky breath before answering with a slow smug expression appearing on my flustered face, 'for you? that's interesting. i think you were just lucky to be there at that moment. always take my bra off after a long day of work.'

he hummed at that with an amused twinkle and smile on his face. 'is that so? well, guess you can call me really lucky then,' he smirked, not seeming to believe my words, and my own grin turned wider as i leaned my head against the door, still holding it.

'so you're saying that i came here for disappointment? can't expect you to continue it, hm?' he then added, and i softly chuckled. the chemistry between us was thick, strong and heated already, leaving me aching for more, aching how much more needy i could get him for me, how much more he could worship my body by just his lustful stare.

'oh, i didn't say that,' i then responded, stepping slightly more aside, a gesture that he could come in. as he was about to enter with a smug and amused glimmer in his eyes still, i then quickly stepped in front of him, gently placing my small hand on his chest, which caused him to raise both his eyebrows in question.

'at least tell me your name, neighbor.' my hand slowly removed itself from his chest by going up and down first, his eyes flickering down at it, before then meeting my own again with a intrigued smirk.

'noah,' he answered, and i clicked my tongue.

'y/n,' i introduced myself back, and that made his smirk only broaden, the twinkle in his eyes growing even more, as if he knew he would enjoy using my name for whatever dirty fantasies he was holding captured inside his mind.

'well, y/n, your little relief for your back after your long day of work wasn't the only time i've noticed you, but you know that, noah then spoke, his husky voice closer to me now that he slowly stepped inside, closing the door behind him. the more steps he took, the more i became pressed against the wall.

'your little adorable walk every time you came home from work, all lost in your music, coming out of those black matching headphones of yours, matching your outfits', he continued, his body being towered over my smaller frame, and i gulped in both nerves and excitement, already clenching now and then by the way he looked down on me and spoke every word so sultry and deeply alone. 'so concentrated whilst pulling those gorgeous lips of yours between your teeth now and then.'

noah slowly moved his large hand to my chin, tilting my face even more up to him as he brushed my lips with his thumbs, seemed to be mesmerized by it, craving it. my legs have already begun to tremble in need of him, just by that small touch alone, and he seemed to be very amused by the way i reacted to it, as his devious smile grew bigger.

'and those skirts? don't you think they are a little short, darling? i mean, i am not complaining, but they drove me crazy all week. made me think of how great the view would be in front of me, just like those pretty tight jeans you're wearing right now.'

he slowly turned me around, causing me to let out a shaky breath of both excitement and anticipation, pushing me against the wall. he let out a deep, satisfied hum, practically feeling his stare burn through the fucking fabric. but as soon as his hands found my behind, squeezing it eagerly, he made me close to snapping completely more and more.

'fuck. feels even more firm than i imagined.' noah's voice sounded even more huskier than before, and shit, it made me even more aroused than i already was.

his hands slowly moved upwards, over the smooth fabric of my bathrobe, squeezing my chest even tighter than my ass, making me yelp out of surprise and pleasure. his lips already found my ear quickly after that, his hot breath fanning over it and my neck, his breathing fast and ragged.

'not gonna lie, i enjoyed our little eye fucking this week, but damn, the little sounds you make are even better darling,' he breathed, making me slightly whimper, his hands still holding my breasts firmly, his thumbs lightly rubbing over it. his hips were grinding against my behind, making me able to feel his own excitement grow.

'wonder what else i can bring out of you, and how, my pretty girl. you in? you want that?'

'yes,' i eagerly breathed out, and that made him turn me around in a quick movement, his own body being pushed flush against mine, before he then grabbed me by my legs, lifting me up and wrapping my legs around him, and held me steady in his strong arms as a mischievous, dark smile grew on his attractive face.

'yeah?' he cooed, his smug fucking smile only growing by that, and it made me want to crash my own lips against him, to make him breathless and even more eager for me. 'glad to hear that, my pretty neighbor. cause since the first time we made eye contact, i wasn't able to stop fantasizing about you.'

my cheeks flushed by hearing that, my heart rate sped up, my hands shaking by anticipation. 'really hm?' i couldn't help but slightly smirk in filthy amusement, and he mirrored it right away as he nodded.

'mhm. how could my cock not get hard by seeing you all small and needy for me down there on the street? surely had to do something about it each time,' he shrugged, and it knocked the breath out of me for a moment, the filthy words rolling off his tongue just like that. 'but this, oh darling this, is the best way to do something about those cravings for you.'

noah pressed his hard bulge even harder against my damp core, slightly rubbing, making the both of us groan and whimper.

'fuck baby, i don't know how you do it, but i already feel you eagerness through your jeans. so wet already hmm? so ready to be taken by me?'

i heavily nodded at that, pulling my teeth between my lips, and his dark eyes flickered down to it, before then hungrily capturing his own with mine. my own tongue immediately pushed through it, dancing with his, tasting the deliciousness of his need for me.

noah groaned as i pulled his hair as my hands found it, flushing his body even more against mine, before then breaking the kiss to look at me with heavy breathing, every being of him filled with lust and desire for me. 'where do you want to continue this, love?'

'use those trained muscles of yours and carry me upstairs,' i teased him with a sly smile, causing him to deeply chuckle with amusement before then doing what was said, and his quick pace took me to my queen-sized bed in no time.

he placed me down on it in a sitting position, kneeling down between my legs already quickly that he then pushed apart, a wicked smile on his face, painted by the light of the small lamp on the nightstand besides us, and the left overs of the dark of the room around us contoured the rest of his pretty features.

'let me taste you, y/n,' noah whispered hoarsely as his gaze got down to my pants, then back to me again, and i nodded, causing him to instantly begin to unbutton my jeans, pulling it off my legs, his eyes slightly widening at the sight of my thin, see through panties that covered my aching core.

'jesus,' he breathed after a gulp, 'you always wear this underneath?'

'not always,' i smirked, his eyes going back up to mine. 'you are just in luck. again.'

'fuck, yes i am,' he rasped out, his lean fingers slowly and teasingly rubbing up and down the thin lace fabric, which made me shift eagerly against the mattress underneath me with a slight groan. he smiled amusingly at that, looking at me for a moment with a mischievous glint before then tucking my panties down.

'gonna taste you real good y/n, every single inch, every single drop coming out of you, yeah?' noah mumbled, spreading my legs even more, a determined and hungry look on his face. 'have thought about this so much. fuck, can't imagine how good you'd feel wrapped around me, tight and warm.'

his words, combined by the way he looks at my eagerness and rubs and teases it slowly, his warm hands going up and down my thighs as well, makes me moan impatiently, making his lips twitch again, before then finally moving his head down---making fucking eye contact as he flicks his tongue slowly and lightly against me, and my head already quickly dropped back into my shoulders as a low groan escaped my throat.

the feeling of his tongue was amazing, better than i had imagined myself too, and worked slowly against my bud once more before then going deeper inside my slit, sucking and tasting me more intensely, and i was not shy to let him know how much i enjoyed it, the sounds of pure bliss surrounding us both. it made him moan against my clit, vibrating with even more pleasure, humming in appreciation of tasting me, in enjoyment of exploring every inch of me like he promised me he would.

'god,' he then groaned as he pulled back, his lips glinting with my arousal in the dim light, and it made my breathing sped up even more. 'i would love to make you cum like this, but i need to---have to feel you around my cock baby, need to bury me inside of you real deep.'

'please do, please take me,' i eagerly stammered out in between ragged breaths, and he got up and then pulled his tank top over his head in a fast and smooth movement, dropping his sweatpants next, his white underwear showing his need for me very clearly, and it made me even more needy for him.

'that's right baby, you got me so fucking hard for you,' he groaned as he noticed my eyes wandering down, dropping his underwear next, making them widen slightly, and i blinked to hide it quickly.

noah hovered over me as i moved my body up my bed to let my head rest against my comfortable pillow, and he positioned himself between my legs, feeling his length already teasing my entrance, and it caused me to buck my hips up in high anticipation, and it let his wicked grin return.

'such a eager little thing you are. ready to be taken by me, darling?'

i nodded as i breathed out a greedy yes, and his pretty brown eyes darkened even more, hypnotizing me as it made my head spin with need as well. he then pushed himself in, and i let out a harsh gasp as his eyes rolled back.

'jesus y/n. so fucking ready for me---' he started to move, his hands placed around both sides of my head, his hands digging into the fabric of my pillow, 'and feeling like a fucking delight. taking me so well.'

'noah,' i moaned out as my eyes shut, jaw dropped by the overwhelming sensations. it made him slip his tongue in as he pulled me into a passionate kiss, our moans and groans muffed by our lips.

'you cry my name so beautifully y/n, need to hear that more than just once. need to hear it as much as possible,' noah panted, trusting faster and deeper, creating a heavenly rhythm between our sweaty bodies, the sounds of our skin adding more heat for us like fuel lighting the flame.

and i cried his name out loud over and over again, like a prayer, like the one thing i only needed that moment, and it was true, he gave me everything i craved. he brushed my messy hair out of my face now and then, making our eye contact intense and strong, adding even more connection between us.

from that moment on, i knew that noah would become more than just my neighbor that captured my body and soul---he would become everything i needed and more, the only fire that would bring me warm and alive in these cold winter days.

[daisygrayce]

It's not miscommunication that's the problem

TL;DR - Crowley and Aziraphale can't talk about heaven and good because those things don't mean the same things to them. Their experiences are fundamentally different, so they will always miscommunicate and misunderstand.

OK. I know I have 3 big things going against me: you don't know me, this is amazingly long and miscommunication is the problem. Please hear me out.

In a simple view, miscommunication is the problem but the cause of that miscommunication isn't the fundamental issue. Aziraphale and Crowley are two fundamentally different beings and I don't know how they can bridge that experience gap. Heaven, the Plan and especially God are different CONCEPTS for our boys. It starts with who they were as angels when they were both in heaven BEFORE the beginning.

From the moment Crowley calls Aziraphale to help, we are aware that Crowley is a powerful angel. It's also apparent that he's excited, engaged, joyous and creative; all things we will see less of when he is on earth. I don't it occurs to him to introduce himself to Aziraphale partly because he is so engrossed in unleashing his passion project and partly because he's used to being recognized. In their discussion, two major facts become clear about how we need to frame Crowley's relationship with God, the Plan and heaven. First, his relationship with God and the ineffable Plan is personal. More so than just how he believes in it, but that God is his Mother and Crowley's experience with heaven much more resembles a family or close network and less a disembodied corporation. His comment about Gabriel coming to look at his statue in the graveyard is that of a brother, not the distant observation of an archangel in authority.

Second, we see that his understanding of the Plan is that it is dynamic and evolves to always push forth the greater good for everyone. "Good" isn't an abstract to be applied but rather a mandate to be lived. It's beauty and peace and love and wellbeing. I believe from the moment he hears that things will end in 6,000 years, Crowley believes that there is a misunderstanding between what God wants and what her "staff" is executing. I think for him heaven and God are two distinct entities and that heaven fucks things up (means to an end) when his somewhat flighty, even a little vain, Mother isn't paying close attention. We see his disgust in the Noah, Job and Caligula minisodes, part of that disgust is disbelief that his Mother could be that cruel, another part disbelief that heaven could be that stupid and inefficient.

If I were doing a literary analysis, I would say that Crowley is representative of our personal relationship with God and spirituality. Crowley's trauma with the fall is more about being rejected as a child for disappointing his Mother, than not being part of heaven and the good guys. We see that when in crisis he talks directly to God (ex. when hell figures out he's lost the Antichrist or "Oh God." when Aziraphale rejects him). In the Job minisode, we see him wistful for the opportunity to ask God a question, to talk to her. For him "heaven" is toxic because of how the corporation is executing the Plan. God and goodness is not. He rejects being reinstated as an angel because he doesn't need to be a "good guy" or have the corporation's mistake fixed. He wants the "furniture of his Mother's love and family relationships" to be restored. That's beyond the power of heaven and it's something that Aziraphale fundamentally doesn't understand.

Aziraphale is a lower functioning angel in heaven who is constantly helping. He experiences heaven from a more distanced perspective. He is raised in the confines of heaven, the corporation, and has the structure of this organization repeatedly forced on and drummed into him. Heaven never treats him well and he does experience a tremendous amount of trauma. He struggles with the need for affirmation and approval and is so aware that his co-workers don't think highly of him. From a literary standpoint, I'd say that Aziraphale represents our relationship with organized religion and society as a whole. "The Almighty" isn't a personal concept for him. It never occurs to him to directly address God, even if he knows that she's ultimately running the show. He appeals to a higher authority, but never God. Sadly, I don't think that Aziraphale ever experiences a parental relationship or a family's bond, ever. I think that lack makes the ineffable plan an esoteric concept that he should aspire to even if he doesn't really get it, much like a corporate mission statement. It's not until he has to "act local" and is suddenly presented with the ugly consequences of the Plan that the plan becomes real. To his credit, in that moment of realization, Aziraphale works his ass off to fix it for the better (see the Job minisode) usually with Crowley's help. I love him desperately, but he's not a global, big picture guy as we see in the end of season two ending. He thinks he's offering Crowley salvation and a chance to be together and do that ineffable "good" he clings to, however, Crowley sees the global concrete implications for not only them, but the rest of everything.

Aziraphale would never intentionally hurt Crowley. For him, reinstatement to heaven is like checking a box, righting a gross wrong. He knows that Crowley is good, that's not at issue. He cannot fathom that overwhelming wealth of hurt that Crowley carries from the fall, that personal judgement from God that Crowley "disappointed her." He doesn't understand that heaven can't reinstate that. Because of that inability to understand how Crowley sees God and heaven, he can't understand why Crowley doesn't want to be a part of heaven.

When Aziraphale is confronted by the archangels for conspiring with his "boyfriend" in season one, he never denies the relationship or really even blinks. I think his exposure to the concepts of love in literature has formed his view of his relationship with Crowley to unrequited love. He has physically moved closer to Crowley over the series, but he believes it has to remain unrequited because of the whole "rules of heaven" and consorting with the "enemy" thing. Crowley, bless his heart, feels love and because of its power (and probably the slow burn) relates it to the only love he's ever known, family. When Maggie and Nina explain that it's not that kind of love, he's free of the family implications. He's seen romantic love in the movies and can move forward. He even knows from Gabriel and Beelzebub that they can move forward. Then when he expresses his love, gives voice to the longing in his heart, the global implications of heaven and their plan and what he believes is confirmation of Aziraphale's judgement of him crush him.

I don't believe that Aziraphale will ever be able to understand how Crowley views God and heaven until he goes to heaven and sees the disconnect for himself. Then he has the foundation to understand why.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

[castlebyersafterdark]

listen, i LOVE finn, and most people probs arent going to believe that, but i do, and yet what that woman said in that video about david's home? about male actors performing? ohhhh that is so finn to me. he said himself he's cracking jokes and no one laughs day to day (in that gq video) hahaha

like obviously they find him funny but if its constant, constantttttt

that indeed does sound exhausting. i wonder what it would be like to actually be around his awkward humour 24/7, like maybe him and noah think each other are hot af but to actually BE with someone, its a whole different ball game!

no comment on noah as of yet because i dont think he falls into quite the same ballpark as finn/david with the 'male actor' thing, he seems like a bit of an outlier but i think underneath his chirpy easygoing loveliness he takes himself very seriously (meaning has high expectations for himself and can possibly be strict on himself). he has also said he used to beat himself up for ruining takes even in s2, and he is very good an actor and i think would immerse himself and come to work highly prepared every day. perfectionist noah for sure. look how neat and clean and tidy he is despite being clumsy - its a certain kind of perfectionism. i think he is a very guarded person despite his outgoing nature - in fact lots of people who are easygoing and friendly to strangers/fans hide a guarded inner self, whereas finn just makes it known that people make him uncomfortable haha. for noah, i see his friendliness itself as the armour. maybe he was always less comfortable saying no or speaking his mind to people

(this could also be what the little note to caleb was about! 'speak when something is on my mind' ! maybe caleb taught him to be less of a people pleaser and prioritise himself? i'm sure he spoke to finn about doing therapy too, but maybe he and caleb had a boundaries chat! LOVE it if so)

I think that's very true of actors in general - but I also saw some of those videos and it seemed like the actresses followed a similar personality vibe. I think it's more indicative of a person whose livelihood and skillset forces them to perform all the time, do interviews, play other people - something pops out when the camera is on them, they jump into a different personality, almost can't help it. It's like a crafted persona they do. The performance. Maybe more common for men, unsure, would have to partake in an observational study of actors and actresses in similar situations - but I think it's a trade side-effect rather than anything gender oriented.

Knew people who did a lot of theater and there was a similar vibe with those who did a lot of acting. It's a personality type. And all are certainly capable of sincerity and who they "really are" and I think we as fans and observers and people who don't "know" them - there's going to always be this disconnect. Never going to actually see them truly with their guard down. Even people who are honestly, normal people, but we know of them through a tiktok account or a youtube channel mostly. That's a performance, too.

But, some of that bleeds into reality. Finn saying he's constantly cracking jokes. I imagine that must be different in real life, as well. The way humor comes across when it's people you know, with your friends. The tone is different than the one for the press. Some people are just naturally funny and there's a lightness to their average conversation style. I've met those who are insufferable by never taking anything seriously through humor and sarcasm and those who are genuinely funny people and being around them and their style of humor is like sunshine. It all depends!!

Not going to reiterate the Noah portion because I feel like that's all pretty spot on and a good read of how he's perceived based on what we can observe. It makes a lot of sense. He has a different personality type for a lot of actors.

[mystical-flute]

Checkered: Chapter 4

Also on AO3 || Buy me a ko-fi

It had been almost a year since he had taken control of KaibaCorp from Gozaburo, and finally, things seemed to have stabilized. The announcement with Pegasus had been a great start, but even after the announcement, the public had wanted more, to prove that KaibaCorp deserved to be at the top and run by Seto Kaiba.

So they had done it, of course. Noah’s medical technology was being produced at one of Gozaburo’s old weapons factories, and Duel Arenas were planned all over the world, on every continent, which had only served to make Duel Monsters more popular, and Seto kick-started his own career on the duel circuit. He was an ace at it, naturally, which had only elevated the popularity of the game, and KaibaCorp.

But that still wasn’t enough. Not for the loudest detractors of the KaibaCorp’s new era. No, they still screamed for Seto’s head, still cried for the company to turn back to gaming, even though they were projected to make more money this year than they’d done in the last three combined, and Seto had a feeling part of that was due to the Board of DIrectors - the Big Five - still shadows of Gozaburo, still with their claws deep in the company. It was a rot Seto knew he couldn’t completely cut out, not until they retired or were otherwise… removed from the company through some other force.

That didn’t mean he liked it, didn’t have a plan to help move that along. The Young Five could stay - it had been obvious to him from the beginning that none of them really enjoyed the war, and as they had settled upon their own paths as they’d moved into their final year of high school with college entrance exams looming over them, he’d known the best choice for them was to keep them on, if he could. Which meant he would have to switch some things around for the Big and Young Fives.

“Seto… what are we supposed to do about Alcatraz?” Noah questioned with a frown, setting the blueprints for the island down in front of him.

God he hated Alcatraz. Even if KaibaCorp had been a military arms company, why the hell had they needed a damn military base of their own?

Alcatraz had been left to rot, all personnel assigned to other areas of the company or given generous severance packages when they left, and what to do with the rest of it was a fair question. But the truth was, Seto had only been there once before he’d taken the company over, and while he had read through the plans and blueprints about it, he wasn’t sure he could do anything but agree on the final call of it.

“What do you suppose we do with it?” Seto asked his brother, ice blue eyes meeting the darker blue. “You were there more than I was.”

Seto could see the flicker of smugness in Noah’s gaze, which was quickly masked by him blinking and breaking eye contact to stare down at the blueprints instead. “I… suppose we could just… return it back to nature. Plant native flora there, work with conservation groups to introduce native insects and other fauna. It’s a large island - a safe haven for endangered species would be a good place to help them grow in numbers.”

Seto nodded slowly in agreement. “Yes… that is an interesting proposition, and would give KaibaCorp another edge on being on a better path than it was under Gozaburo. But… I think there’s one thing I want to do before we turn it over to an environmental group.”

“Huh? What’s that?”

Seto pointed at the tall observation tower that was at the center of the island. “One day, I will be crowned the best duelist in the world there, at the spot our father held so dear. After that, it can be demolished and handed to the researchers.”

“You sure seem to take dueling as seriously as you take running the company.”

“Of course I do. It is enjoyable and I know it is making Gozaburo’s afterlife a never ending hell. I find that thought amusing.”

Noah smirked a little. “I can’t say you’re wrong.”

Seto closed the file on Alcatraz and set it aside. “Now… there’s something else we need to discuss.”

“What is it?”

“What we’re going to do about the Big Five.”

Noah leaned back in his chair. “I see. Yes… let’s discuss that next then.”

“I am concerned that they aren’t… as enthusiastic as they say they are about this new era of KaibaCorp. How do you feel they’ve been behaving?”

“I don’t disagree. I do believe some of them miss Father and the way KaibaCorp was in the past. There has to be something we can do to keep them happy. We can’t have them running off telling our secrets, right?”

Nezbit, especially, would be very useful to companies that had once been competition for KaibaCorp, and Seto certainly didn’t want those secrets to be let out, lest there be new weapons built with the Demon Lord of the Factory at the head of it.

“Then perhaps the Young Five can be of assistance. Mentors and mentees working together on a common project. Since the Young Five are graduating this year…”

“It might serve to give them one last project before they go off on their own. Excellent idea, Seto, I know just the thing.”

-----

“You know you don’t have to sit with me, don’t you?” Reika asked, raising an eyebrow at her cousin when he took a seat next to her.

Yugi shrugged. “Yeah, I know, but I… really don’t want to eat alone, so…”

She sighed and set her water down on the table in front of her. “It’s not that you aren’t welcome here, Yugi,” she started, and her friends nodded in agreement. “But this is high school now, and I’m not going to be around next year to help you fight your battles.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you too! This has all just been an adjustment, that’s all.”

“High school’s a great time for creating a new you, y’know,” her friend AIko said. “I know  you hang around Anzu Mazaki… where is she, anyway?”

Yugi picked at a piece of zucchini. “She’s out sick today. She thinks she caught a virus at her ballet recital last week. I’ve been grabbing her homework for her and plan to drop it off at her place after shool.”

“Ain’t that sweet? You’re like a regular Romeo or somethin’, Yugi.”

Yugi smiled at the newcomer, but Reika had been in KaibaCorp long enough to sniff out sarcasm and bullshit, and felt herself on high alert in an instant.

She looked the blonde up and down - she didn’t recognize him from her class, nor did she recognize him from Yugi’s. Given the state of his uniform, she wondered how many violations he’d already racked up. “And you are…?”

Yugi jumped in with a smile. “Oh! This is Joey Wheeler. He’s a transfer student from America! Just transferred to my class the other day.”

Reika could see malice in Joey Wheeler’s eyes. He was much less polished at trying to hide it than Seto or Noah had ever been toward Gozaburo. Carefully, she rose to her feet and held out a hand for him to shake. He was from America, after all, that was how they greeted people there. “Well, it’s so nice to meet you, Joey. I’m Reika Mutou, Yugi’s cousin.”

Joey grinned, giving her a firm handshake. At least he knew how to do that correctly. “Oh yeah? It’s nice to meet ya, Reika.”

“Hey, since you're new, let me give you some advice, y’know, as an older student, especially since you’re in Yugi’s class.”

“Sure, that’d be nice. What is it?”

Reika smiled. “If I catch word of you bringing any sort of harm to Yugi or Anzu, I promise you, I will bring the wrath of KaibaCorp down upon you, and no one will ever be able to find your body. Do we have an understanding?”

Joey blinked several times, confusion on his face. “Wha - KaibaCorp? What do they have to do with anything?”

Aiko laughed. “Haven’t you learned anything since moving here? Reika’s a member of the Young Five - she’s practically a KC executive! You don’t want to get on their bad side…”

It was a bluff… mostly. Given Seto and Noah’s attempts to clean up the company’s reputation, she wouldn’t actually call for someone to be hurt, but that didn’t mean she would stand for anyone screwing with Yugi or Anzu. If she had to flex that muscle to protect Yugi, she would, without hesitation.

Joey didn’t look like he fully believed Aiko, but his body language seemed to suggest he was going to stand down, at least, for now. “Right, well, wouldn’t wanna force Seto Kaiba to tarnish his shiny new reputation. I’m gonna go finish lunch. Nice ta meet you, Reika.”

“You too Joey!” she returned with another bright smile.

When Joey disappeared around a corner, the table broke into laughter.

“Did you see his face? I thought he was going to shit his pants!” Aiko cackled. “Oh man, if that doesn’t stop him from messing with Yugi, you might actually have to get a shovel ready for him.”

Reika laughed, reaching to squeeze Yugi’s shoulder. “Yeah well, if he knows what’s good for him, he won’t be messing with Yugi or Anzu.”

“Don’t you guys think that was a little harsh?” Yugi asked, nervously fussing with his drink. “I mean, he might be my friend one day…”

“If he becomes your friend, great! If he doesn’t, hopefully we gave him enough of a warning to make sure he remains just another classmate you won’t talk to within four months of graduation,” she said with a shrug.

Yugi’s eyes widened in horror. “Wait, you don’t think that would actually happen, do you?”

She shrugged. “Who knows? All I’m saying is I doubt my parents could name twenty other people from their graduating classes.”

“You don’t know that.”

Reika popped a grape in her mouth. “Nah, I don’t. But what I do know is I did my best to protect you from a potential bully and that’s all I care about.”

Yugi frowned a little. “Well… if it worked, thanks, I guess.”

The sound of the bell prompted her to gather her trash together. “Any time, you know that. I’ll see you later Yugi. I’ll try to be on time for dinner at the shop but I can’t make any promises.”

“It’s okay Reika. I’ll let mom know. See ya.”

That afternoon after school, she found herself in the familiar board office with the rest of the Young Five.

“I heard Seto’s shutting down the research lab Nezbit ran,” Sora said with a frown. “He’s going to try and save it but…”

“It’s a relic of Gozaburo,” Katsuo sighed. “I don’t get why they can’t just switch it over to a lab that develops stuff for games or for Noah’s medical research. That would be a reasonable compromise, right?”

Mei leaned back in her chair. “You’d think, but let’s be honest, Seto isn’t known for being reasonable when it comes to Gozaburo. He would never want it said aloud, but he’s more like Gozaburo than he wants to admit. I think it’s a miracle that Noah ever agreed to work with him on the company changeover.”

The door opened, and five tired board members walked in, followed by the Kaiba brothers.

“Good afternoon, Young Five. Another stage of our plan is upon us,” Noah grinned as he took a seat. “Nezbit has agreed to be the lead on the virtual reality systems we plan to show at the next meeting with Pegasus. Sora, I assume you’ll be there to lend a hand?”

“Of course.”

“We are also designing our KaibaLand theme park. Hideo, you will help look over the books to make sure there aren’t any unneeded expenses, right?” Seto questioned, satisfied when Hideo nodded. “And Katsuo, I trust you and Gansley will be able to select employees best suited for the building and wiring of the park.”

“Naturally, Seto.”

“As for publicity… I trust Lector and Reika will be able to handle that task. We want word about the theme park to start going out. I believe you are the best person to handle such a monumental task, Lector.”

“And I have no intention of proving you wrong, Seto,” Lector said. “Miss Reika and I will make sure the whole universe knows about the progress the company has made post-Gozaburo.”

She wanted to laugh because while she in no way doubted that they would do the best they could, there was something funny about watching Lector grovel to people in a higher position of authority than him, and something extra funny about watching him do it to a seventeen-year-old.

But it was obvious what Seto was trying to do. Having the Young Five ‘work alongside’ the Big Five on these important matters meant putting them into a position of power. Training them, as it were, for the future. It explained the exhausted looks on the Big Five - it was an open secret that they were restless in their position, and given Seto’s focus on the future, it was a wonder the Big Five had stayed around at all. This KaibaLand thing was a distraction tactic, but this time, she wasn’t sure how well the Big Five would fall for it.

“Miss Reika,” Lector said. “Let’s spend some time making a game plan, alright? We can jump headfirst into it tomorrow.”

She nodded. “Of course, sir.”

A horrible feeling settled over her - one that told her there was a chance that she’d be eating leftovers tonight unless her mother intervened when the workday ended.

“There will also be a silent auction fundraiser in a few weeks. The proceeds will go to New Hope Orphan Home.” Seto looked like he’d swallowed a lemon at the mention of it.

“Do you want us to start thinking about that too, then?” Reika asked. “Two birds with one stone?”

Seto nodded. “Yes, that would be appreciated Reika, thank you.”

Reika smiled a little and gathered up her notebook as the meeting ended and the groups broke into their respective pairs.

“Miss Reika, how is preparing for your college exams going?” Lector asked as they settled back in his office, empty paper and pens set between them to make lists of companies to inform and things to do.

She frowned. “I’m studying as hard as I can but… I am dreading them, I admit. Sometimes I wish it could be like it is in America, where you just apply and the school looks at your grades and extracurricular activities and stuff. I just don’t want to disappoint my parents.”

“I assure you, that is not possible,” Lector said. “Your parents are incredibly proud of you, and always will be.”

Reika sighed. “I know… I’m just really hoping to get into Kyoto University, or the University of Tokyo. They’re the best music programs in the country.”

Lector chuckled. “Are you so eager to get away from Domino that you would go all the way to Tokyo for a fresh start?”

“Of course not. That’s why Kyoto is my first choice school. I want to be close enough to help out with KaibaCorp if need be.” KaibaCorp had done so much for her - it didn’t feel right to abandon it just because she was graduating from high school.

“And you will succeed,” he said firmly. “Now come on, let’s get our lists going.”

---

Silent auction fundraisers were some of Reika’s least favorite events that KaibaCorp put on. Wandering around a venue (in this case, Kaiba Manor’s ballroom and dining room) looking at things that she would never be able to afford to buy unless she actually married a Kaiba was not fun, and trying to maintain conversation with the wealthy elites was easier said than done. It didn’t help that she was staring down the university entrance exams and auditions. In a selfish, childish way, she just wanted to be a kid again, where the only thing she had to worry about was Gozaburo giving her a terrifying look. Now she was nearing adulthood, and not having nearly as much fun.

“My father is the CFO of ShroderCorp itself. He works hand in hand with Zigfried von Schroder himself,” the teenager next to her said in broken Japanese. “We have started producing gaming technology as well. So just know, KaibaCorp will always have a competitor knocking at their door.”

Reika tried not to roll her eyes. KaibaCorp had plenty of competitors, in the war industry, in the gaming industry, and in the medical technology industry. SchroderCorp was nothing new, nothing special. But tonight wasn’t the night to be arguing with rich brats, so instead, she smiled. “We welcome SchroderCorp to the field of gaming technology. The less companies working on military technology, the better, in my opinion.”

“And in mine! I am so glad we have something in common. My name is Margareta Liebehenschel. And you are…?”

She bowed politely. “Reika Mutou. I am a member of KaibaCorp’s Young Five program.”

“Ah! I have heard of that. So you must have some closely guarded secrets, right?”

Reika smiled a little. “I must say I don’t know what you could be talking about, Margareta.”

Margareta opened her mouth to speak, but a man calling her over in German distracted both of them. Instead, she sighed. “I apologize Reika but my father is asking whether or not we should bid on a necklace for my mother. I hope we will get the chance to speak later tonight.”

With a little bow of her head, she watched Margareta disappear into the crowd, then sighed when she was alone. How did Seto and Noah do this day in and day out? She would have been fired for telling people where to shove their wealth.

She needed some air.

The night air was chilly - and if she focused enough on it, she could sense the first inklings of winter. Winter meant final exams and after exams was January and January meant - gah, she was winding herself up again. She really needed to stop doing that.

There wasn’t anyone out here - most people were focused on the auction or the appetizers going around. It was nice to have a moment to her own thoughts, even if those thoughts were driving her crazy.

“So this is where you were.”

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been out here as she glanced over at Seto. “Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to disappear. Just needed some air. Did I miss anything important?”

“Some of the bidding has ended. They announced the winners. I won one of the prizes.”

Of course he had. Silent auctions were just another game to Seto Kaiba, and he had proven to be quite good at those.

“What did you win?” she asked.

Seto reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a long jewelry box. To her surprise, he handed it to her. “Open it.”

Quizzically, she did so, and found a sapphire necklace on a silver chain inside. She frowned and raised a brow at Seto. “I didn’t think necklaces were your thing, Seto.”

“I won it for you.”

Wait. What? “Why would you win me a necklace?”

“As a thank you. You have done an incredible amount of work for Mokuba and I. Not just as a member of the Young Five, but… in other ways. The way you helped Mokuba with his Capsule Monsters collection, teaching him the piano, getting me the in that I needed to start selling some of the early prototypes of our technology, and constantly talking Noah out of trying to win against me. It was better for his own sanity that way.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that… I’m happy to help, really,” she replied. “Especially if it means you all succeed.”

There was something in his eyes though, just like there had always been something in his texts that had gone on between them for a couple of years. Something hidden, that he couldn’t quite say.

Reika, however, had a feeling she knew what it was. She’d seen enough TV and movies and read enough magazines to know the signs, and so she inclined her head in his direction.

Seto Kaiba, one of the most powerful men in the world, leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

“I seem to have rendered you speechless,” he said with a smirk as he pulled away. 

Her face flushed despite the chilly night air, and she rolled her eyes at him. “It appears you have. So… what now?”

“For now… this stays between us.  I don’t want anyone getting any ideas about favoritism in the Young Five. It wouldn’t be good for either of us,” he said. “But… I would like to figure out a way to make this… work.”

She nodded. “We can talk about it.” Carefully, she managed to fit the necklace box into her clutch, but barely. “Oh, by the way, Seto… I spoke to the CFO of SchroderCorp’s daughter. They’re getting into the gaming industry too.”

Seto raised a brow. “Is that so? That’s very good to know. Thank you Reika.”

Little did either of them realize that the silent auction fundraiser would be one of the last normal days of their lives.

[edenityy]

( chapter twelve ! )

"Whoa, you brought two really cute fellows, huh."

A calm breeze swishes through the air of the Noah's Ark Circus grounds, creating a faint chill in the February air. Despite the cold season, the sun still shines down bright upon the people, working to make it harder to see for Leah's sensitive eyes.

Standing before a group of performers, Leah and Ciel are dressed inconspicuously to perform an entrance exam for the circus. Both teenagers wear clothes in muted shades of brown and white, far from the prestigious clothes they are used to that adorn their bodies on the average day.

Leah herself stands in a simple dress and shoes, shifting uncomfortably against the material but trying to brush it off to not blow her cover. Her hair is not styled this time, lying straight across her back. The only thing to see is the hardly noticeable waves that naturally work through the strands of brown.

Observing the two, Joker stands with his hands on his hips and looks closer at Ciel. "Are you a boy?" he asks.

"Yes, I was a pageboy at the manor," Ciel pauses for a brief moment. "My name is Finnian."

Joker shifts his gaze to Leah who stands tall beside her fiancé, engagement ring no longer sitting on her finger. "You're a girl?" he asks.

"Yes.. My name is—" Leah struggles. "Anna.."

"Are you sure? Your shoulders are a bit broad. And you're quite tall!" Joker comments, earning a look of hurt from the brunette.

Pursing her lips, Leah swallows hard. "I'm sure." she forces a toothy smile.

"Alright.. Well if you join, we'll give you stage names. But cuteness isn't enough to join the circus. If you can't perform, that is," Pulling away from their faces, Joker takes a step back. "What are your strong points?"

Ciel's face blanks, a small bead a sweat dripping down his face. "...Darts?"

"I am good with a sword. I'm flexible and good at mounted archery as well. Or music.. perhaps languages, I'm not sure.." Leah stammers, trying to recall anything she is capable of that could be of use for a circus.

Stopping to think, Joker presses a finger to his jaw, showing off the checked waistcoat he wears. There isn't any silence to accompany these thoughts though, as they are surrounded by small chatter of the people around them to observe.

"In that case, let's do knife-throwing for the boy and contortions for the girl. Dagger, lend him a knife," Joker smiles brightly.

Retrieving a set of pointy knives, Dagger drops them in Ciel's hands with a friendly grin. "Here ya go."

"Hit that target from over here," Joker says, pointing his prosthetic finger in the direction of a board at least ten feet away.

The air goes still when everyone hears this, observing the setup as crickets threaten to fill the tension. Ciel adjusts his stance to hold his knife in the manner he would when fencing, but that hardly helps his case.

"Ah, ah, Boss. you're mean," Dagger grins with a small sweat. "With those skinny arms, he can't reach that."

Joker smiles passively, allowing Dagger to lean on his left shoulder. "It's not mean. It can't be closer for the show," he explains, cockney accent shining through.

Pointing the knife before him, Ciel takes in the encouraging smile from Leah and flings the pointed object with all his might. But to no one's surprise, the knife begins to fall short of its target by a few feet.

"Aaaaaah, yep.." Dagger — and the others surrounding him — give a pitiful smile.

Just moments before the Phantomhive can accept defeat, the knife diverts from its path and slams into the target.

All of the people observing stare in shock. "No way!" Joker and Dagger yell.

Ciel smirks and eyes the smiling Sebastian, once again throwing another knife to which the butler flicks a pebble to change its course. They continue this until thirteen knives have cluttered the area of the target.

"Is this all right?" Ciel asks with a smirk, holding an arm out in gesture.

Walking over to stand before him, Joker crosses his arms with an impressed smile, Dagger behind him observes the target in a sweat. "Seems like you've got control over it. Now let's have the girl do some contortions." he claps his hands together.

Leah shifts uncomfortably in her spot, "But I'm wearing a dress.." she mumbles.

"What was that?" Joker cocks a brow and leans his face in closer.

"I'm wearing a dress!" Leah repeats, albeit a bit too loudly.

Blinking a few times, Joker begins to chuckle. "Oh, don't worry about that! No one's looking, just do your stuff!"

Pressing her lips together, Leah eyes Ciel who only gives her a look to go ahead and fights back a sigh. She starts by pulling her right leg up and positioning it straight next to her torso, Sebastian steps in to move her dress around to ensure that it is covering what it needs to be.

Bringing her leg around behind her, she lifts it to put herself in the needle position. Leah finishes her warmup and moves to the ground, trying not to grimace when she touches the grass and dirt and does a back bend with pointed legs, head nearly touching her behind.

Situating her body in a couple more strange positions, Leah is met with applause and a smiling ginger. Ciel on the other hand, stares in mild surprise that someone of her status is capable of such an act.

"Good job! You can really move your body," Joker nods. "All right, next!"

"Tightrope walking!"

Atop a tall platform sit Ciel, Leah, and Doll. Ciel is standing with his shoes no longer on, clenched hands as he stares down at the ground many meters beneath him. Behind the Phantomhive, Doll tightly secures a rope around his torso while Leah sits beside her, tightly holding onto the bar in fear of falling as she awaits her turn.

"Doll~ Tie the lifeline tightly!" Joker yells up with a closed-eye smile. "It's dangerous if a beginner falls!"

Taking another glance down below, Ciel tries not to sweat out of nervousness. "Can't I do some sort of music test instead?" he asks, raising his voice so he can be heard.

"Hmm? D'you wanna retire already boy~?" smiles Joker teasingly.

"N—No! But if there's something else.." Ciel trails off.

"If you're serious, don't deandre and do it fast!" Joker calls out, singing his final words.

Releasing a noise in aggravation, Ciel hesitantly moves forward on the rope, leaving Leah and Doll behind him. For a split second, he holds himself upright before nearly losing balance, shaking with barred teeth until he's hit in the side with a pebble by Sebastian in an attempt to keep him up in the air.

"He recovered, he recovered."

Watching as her fiancé drifts further from her, the young Barrett turns to face Doll with an awkward smile in reluctant anticipation for her turn. Doll — dressed in her flowery costume — gives a kind smile in return that reaches her eyes, feeling a faint sense of recognition when she sees Leah's pools of dull blue.

Leah is so caught up in her thoughts that she hardly notices that Ciel has gotten down from the tightrope. It's not until she feels a tightening sensation around her waist that she looks down and sees the rope being fastened, Doll uses most of her strength to make sure it's tight enough.

Clearing her throat, Doll looks at the back of Leah's head. "Sorry.. Needs to be tight," she whispers.

"It's alright," Leah uncomfortably smiles, showing off a nice set of teeth. "Just uncomfortable is all.."

Standing on her feet, she stares down at the ground beneath her and eyes her fiancé who stares back up at her, grumbling as he rubs his behind. Leah takes a deep breath and settles her gaze directly in front of her before moving her bare feet to take her first steps, wobbling on the rope.

Pushing forward, the brunette does surprisingly well with her first couple of steps and only seems to wobble. But on her fifth step, Leah begins to tilt and fights back a scream until she feels something pelt her side and shift her back into place. 'What was that?!'

Leah shakes her head and decides to not dwell on it, going across the rope faster to get the activity over with. Some more wobbles and near-deathly falls later, she finally reaches the other end of the tightrope's platform and releases a victory sigh. Peering down beneath her, she can see Ciel with relief painted over his face as everyone else around him claps and smiles.

"That's great! I didn't really think you'd be able to do it!" Joker claps happily, watching as Leah climbs down from the platform with the rope no longer around her.

Striding over from the ginger's side, Dagger leans on Ciel and aggressively pats his head. "So don't demote these cute lil' kids, Boss!" he smiles, not seeming to notice the look of pure aggravation on the Phantomhive's face as he stares forward.

"Not yet. The boy hasn't done something real important," Ciel perks up in surprise when a bony prosthetic finger is pointed his way. "A big ol' smile!" Joker smiles brightly along with his words.

Ciel's eyes widen, "Wha..."

"C'mon, smile!"

Off to the side, Sebastian is shaking in an attempt to control his laughter that threatens to spill. Leah also giggles but in response to seeing Ciel clench his cheeks and fist, shaking in anger. A pregnant pause fills the room before Ciel lifts his head and flashes his best closed-eye smile, sweating as he tries to not think about his gushing fiancé or laughing butler.

— ౨ৎ —

Only half an hour later, Leah shifts uncomfortably outside of the main tent as she glances down at her new attire.

Her outfit consists of a clean white base. The main piece is a corset that has golden stripes going from the top to the bottom. It displays a heavy amount of skin including her larger-than-average bust and her behind, hardly covered by fabric, stockings that cut off at the top of her thighs come up and sit secured with red ribbon.

The detached sleeves are in a similar style to the corset and are flared near the wrist, with little red hearts sitting at the top near her upper arm. On Leah's lower back is a large red bow with black stripes, and a short top hat having a similar accessory wrapped around its middle. The brunette has tied-up hair that sits low enough to cover the back of her neck while simultaneously showing off a white choker with gold stripes at the top and bottom, accompanied by a simple white beaded necklace. Finally, on her feet are heeled boots in a shade of gold, similar accents dancing across the plane, and a small red gem sitting center of where her foot sits inside the shoe.

As good as Leah looks in the outfit, she's naturally an aristocrat. To be seen in an outfit this revealing is much too scandalous, the style of a prostitute. 'If someone were to me like this—’

"What's taking ya so long?"

Silencing her train of thought is none other than Joker, walking towards her in slow strides under the moonlight. His face is one of confusion as he looks down at the teen, tilting his head as he observes how Leah can't seem to sit still.

"I— I can't go out there like this!" Leah stammers, flushed face taking over her once porcelain skin.

Furrowing his brows, Joker pouts his lips. "Why? Ya look great!" he smiles in an attempt to reassure.

Leah furiously shakes her head, "No! Not at all!"

"Don't be silly, c'mon!" Joker grabs ahold of Leah's wrist and walks her around the tent, dragging her inside with her horrible attempts at protest.

Kicking her feet and trying to remove her arm from Joker's grasp is hopeless for the Barrett, as she is not naturally strong without a weapon the majority of the time. Her fighting only amplifies when others — especially a certain blue-haired boy — come into view.

"Look, your friends are doin' fine! Nothin' you need to worry about!" Reassures Joker, pushing Leah into place beside Ciel.

Cautiously eyeing her fiancé, Leah notices how Ciel's face is just as red as hers. The Phantomhive tries hard to not let his eyes wander and keeps his gaze trained on Leah's own blue eyes, clearing his throat at the awkward exchange and nature of her clothes.

"Everyone! From today on, we have some new friends," Joker announces, looking out towards the other circus members. Dagger observes with a snicker while Doll keeps a more straight face, gaze trained on Leah and Ciel, and Beast looks away in annoyance with crossed arms at Sebastian's presence.

People's eyes settle on Sebastian who kindly smiles in a suit, holding a hat in front of him. "New-comers Black."

"I'm Black. It's a pleasure," Sebastian introduces himself.

Pointing a finger at the brunette dressed rather promiscuously, everyone's eyes follow. "This one is Diamond."

"Hello.." An embarrassed wave leaves Leah with minimal eye contact.

Finally getting to Ciel, Joker smiles brightly. "And this one is Smile!"

Ciel's face contorts into one of aggravated shock, "Sm..."

"Let's get along well, everyone!" Joker wraps his arms around the three, facing them off towards the crowd of mixed reactions.

Smiling in feigned kindness, Sebastian gazes at Ciel who sticks close to Leah's side. "Come on, Smile, greet your elders."

"Eh?" Ciel's eye twitches as he looks out at the people and back and Leah who gives him a faint encouraging smile, still trying to hide her embarrassment. "It's— It's nice to meet you.."

"C'mon, Smile, smile!" Joker nods and raises his voice, a bright smile flashing to show his teeth.

Not long after their introductions, the crowd disperses to go about their typical daily activities. Some stretch and some immediately get to work on their routines but Joker stays behind.

"Now I'll take you on a quick tour of the backstage area," he says, holding out a cane-like item to point at the exit. "Follow me."

Heading out of the main tent, the group of four trudges through the circus grounds under the starry sky. There's a still silence that falls upon them, only being broken by Joker's welcoming voice to point out different locations.

"First, these're the rents you guys'll sleep in. It's where the backstage workers an' newcomers — the 'second tier' members — live," Opening up a tent flap, Joker invites the trio to take a peek inside. The two nobles stare incredulously at the sight. "'About two or three people share a room."

They all take a step back from the tent and continue, Leah sticking close to Ciel's side. However, unlike all the times before, she doesn't firmly attach herself to his arm, instead choosing to let hers occasionally brush against his.

"An' that's the mess hall and the storeroom. S'an important job of the new recruits to provide the grub, so good luck!" Joker points his thumb over before switching to his can, pointing it at a new tent. "The center one is this area's first aid tent. An' the most central ones the main cast's private tent."

Sebastian's gaze darkens when he takes a look over at the tent in the distance behind Joker, casting an askew look at his master. Leah, unsurprisingly, is hardly paying attention and keeps her gaze towards the ground.

"Private?" Ciel asks.

"S'a private room you get if you're real good. Ah, an' that's snake's tent, so stay away from it for your own good. A buncha poisonous snakes're roaming free, so if you get bit even once, you're off to the Underworld," Joker doesn't notice the brief look Ciel and Sebastian share, the younger nudging Leah to make sure she's paying attention and pushing her away from the tents general direction. "Snake an' his friends're still shy, y'know? Careful of their poison, you three. Now, let's move on~"

Continuing about their tour, the four leave the other tents behind them as they turn around. Thin light poles illuminate the area as they pass them by, adding a soft atmosphere to the dark grounds. Their single-file formation is broken by Leah who walks to Ciel's left, judgingly glancing at the tents they pass.

"...By the way. What happened to your right eye, Smile?" Joker questions, not bothering to look back as he asks.

"Eh?" Ciel reaches a hand up to his eyepatch, painted nails on display. "Ah.. This is.. There was an accident.." he murmurs.

"Is that so," Lifting his prosthetic hand, Joker brings it to Ciel's left cheek and looks at him solemnly. "So young, but you've been through a lot."

Ciel watches as the ginger's expression changes to a small smile, patting him on the head.

Sneaking around, Joker places an arm around Ciel and gives a wide grin, showing off a singular sharp tooth. "Well everyone here's been through something, so you'll get along well with 'em."

"Y—Yes," Ciel sweats and removes himself from Joker's grip, opting to take ahold of Leah's wrist and drag her along. "I can't with these people.." he mutters, leaving Joker and Sebastian behind him.

Giggling, Leah falls into step beside her fiancé. "Well.. They're quite nice, I'll give them that."

Approaching a much larger tent, Leah stares up at the top, almost intimated by its size.

"Right, this's the practice tent." Joker opens the tent flap to allow them inside.

Throughout the tent, many individuals fill the inside to practice their acts. Some are on the trapeze while some are on the tightrope, with quite a few practice juggling, and some balance on balls. Even off to the side, there is a caged tiger that only serves to intimidate the young Barrett even more.

"New people practice over an' over here. Aiming at making their debut in a real public performance," Explains Joker, shows off some people climbing poles, jumping on the trampoline, and going through hoops. "Work on the basics first. Warm up carefully and—"

As Joker attempts to get the trio accustomed to their surroundings, noting how they all stare around in wonder or bemusement, he is promptly interrupted by Beast entering the tent.

"Joker! It's almost your turn!" she calls out.

Surprised by the sudden entry, Joker makes no complaints and starts on his way out. "Go ahead an' go all out, you three!"

Ciel and Sebastian both stand as straight as a stick, unlike Leah who is off behind them and staring at an extremely low-hanging chandelier. Reluctantly, the pair begin to stretch. Following in their footsteps, Leah does the same and practices her contortions while hearing bits and pieces of their conversation.

"—Enter the private tent— First-tier members..?"

"—Feel any sign of the children's presence—"

"She wishes for the children's safe return."

The young Barrett never seems to truly know what's going on, only understanding that they are meant to be searching for missing children. 'Perhaps I should stop visiting Ciel if this is the kind of thing I have to do..'

"Hey! Don't stretch so sluggishly, you guys!" Dagger peers down at Ciel who is currently lying against Sebastian's back.

A couple of feet away, a man glances over in surprise. "Boss Dagger, what about your performance?" he asks.

"Today I was the top batter! I'm already done and observing practice," The blonde smiles, tilting his body at the waist before turning to Ciel who is no longer on Sebastian's back. "First you gotta decide your program. What're you hoping for?"

"A program that doesn't involve using my body for something like tightrope walking would be good.." Ciel deadpans as he recalls himself earlier that day. "Seriously."

Stepping up beside her fiancé, Leah can't hide her flush when he looks at her, still holding a hatred for her outfit. "Contortionist," she mumbles.

"Then, I'll be earnestly teaching Smile knife-throwing," Dagger smiles eagerly. "What about you, Black?"

Sebastian's expression hardly moves, "I don't have any particular preferences."

"You've got good reflexes, don't you? If there's something you see and it looks like you can do it, give it a try." Dagger encourages, not expecting Sebastian to speed past him with a simple 'yes.'

Running across the tent, the demon butler is quick to get up on the trapeze and perform a flying blanco. Mere moments later, Sebastian is juggling, followed by pole climbing, passing through fire, high wire, and trampoline. Though, just as he attempts to perform sword-eating, Dagger is quick to cut in.

Waving his hands in a sweat, the blonde stares up at the butler clad in black. "Enough, enough!"

"Show off.." Leah mumbles. "Just like Thomas."

Ciel stifles a giggle, though that isn't hard when he's now aggravated with Sebastian. "Hey! You're getting too carried away! Act a little more like a new—"

"C'mon, honestly! Another super newcomer appeared? I won't lose, y'know!" Dagger smiles brightly with crossed arms.

"See, he already has his eye on y.. Hm?" Ciel turns his head around to look at Dagger with knitted brows. "..'Another'?"

"There's this amazing guy who just joined. Look, over there. He was some sorta government worker and he's totally serious, see." Dagger points up at a tall man on the tightrope. "Hey! Come down for a sec, Suit!"

William, under the name of Suit, glances down and releases a breath of air. "I thought I sensed an unpleasant aura. So it was you, was it? Honestly." Stabbing his death scythe into the floor, Ciel nearly throws Leah out of the way before she can be impaled. "What did you come to fish around for this time? You devilish fiend!" he points the scythe to Sebastian's neck, now gaining a crowd of scared individuals.

The demon remains unexpressive, keeping himself in front of the two nobles. While Ciel is staring in dread, Leah is quick to fix her clothes around to hide any piece that came out of place when she was moved, determined to show as little skin as possible.

"De..vil?" The crowd begins to talk amongst themselves with wide eyes.

"Even under the best of circumstances, in this time of Grim Reaper shortages.. With a demon appearing like this, I suppose it will throw off my schedule." William complains.

Leah pauses and tilts her head. ‘Demon?’

Stepping forward, Ciel begins to come undone at the idea of Sebastian's true nature being revealed. "H..Hey, what the hell are you talking abou.."

Dagger stares incredulously, "Grim.. Reaper.. you.."

"N—No, this is—" Ciel tries to explain.

"Give it up, forehead! You said it with such a straight face, I couldn't tell you were joking!" The tent erupts in applause as Dagger slaps a hand to the side of William's forehead. "Since the first day he came here, this guy's been telling jokes. Stuff like 'How about this soul.' He's a real hardcore occult fan!" he points a thumb to William, who is now smoothing down his hair with a comb.

Lifting a hand, William adjusts his glasses. "Though they're not actually jokes."

"I'll introduce you. These guys just joined today. The blue hair who won't leave the girl's side is Smile," Dagger points at Ciel. "The real pretty girl is Diamond and the serious one is Black."

Confused but keeping her manners intact, Leah gives a small smile accompanied by a wave. Letting yet another person see her in such a way hurts her but the teen has accepted her fate. 'Kill me now..'

"Well, bond over your hopes and get along well!" Smiling brightly, Dagger claps a hand on William and Sebastian's shoulders.

William swiftly turns around and begins to stride back towards the tightrope, "Sorry, but there's no way I'll get along with a savage beast."

Listening to Ciel and Sebastian whisper, as well as the other voices filling her ears, Leah sighs in exhaustion no longer has the will to keep up.

"So am I meant to be left in the dark on this one?" she asks, posture slipping.

Turning his head, Ciel gets a good look at his fatigued and sluggish fiancé before being interrupted just before his eyes can drift, and before Leah can hit him.

"Hey! What're you doing, Smile?! You can't just just stand with Diamond the whole time, you gotta practice so you don't lose to Black! Practice! Both of ya!" Dagger appears behind the two teenagers, wrapping an arm around them before dragging them off to another section of the tent.

'Men are so lucky it is impolite to slap them.. So lucky.' Allowing herself to be dragged, Leah looks to Ciel and drags a finger across her throat, mimicking her want to die in the moment.

— ౨ৎ —

Standing uncomfortably in the corner of the tent, Leah waits impatiently for Ciel and Sebastian to return. The butler had left to follow after William, her fiancé leaving as well to fetch them upon Dagger's request.

After only a few more long moments of waiting, the young Barrett has had enough and walks out of the tent. Shivering under the cold air of the night, she walks until she hears a voice that sounds awfully like Ciel.

"—Hear from some glasses who can't even sneak in properly."

"It's not Glasses. It's Suit."

Rounding a corner, Leah comes across William, Sebastian, and Ciel in a staredown. Under the average circumstance, she would care but the poor girl is beyond tired and not willing to take place in her fiancé's typical shenanigans.

"What is taking so long?" Leah puffs her cheeks. "Hurry back inside before we start seeming suspicious."

Surprised at Leah's sudden entry, Ciel whips his head around before his eyes soften. "Let's go, Sebastian."

With that, the four all go their respective ways and walk back inside the tent, thinking over their interaction.

— ౨ৎ —

"Thanks for waiting! It's time for the new arrivals' room assignments!" Joker sings a bit too cheerfully for the dark atmosphere of the night.

Seated on a crate, Ciel is doubled over in exhaustion while Leah leans against him, struggling to keep her eyes open. Beside them, Sebastian stares down at them with Dagger behind him, arms behind his head.

"Huh, Smile's not very cheerful~ Smile, Smile!" Joker pulls a smile of his own to try and brighten the younger boy's mood, only receiving a struggled 'yes' in response. "For fairness, these're the results of a lottery. Smile's in tent eight. Here's your roommate."

Putting a hand on Doll's shoulder, Joker brings her forward for Ciel to see. The girl is no longer dressed in her circus attire, letting her brown hair down and wearing comfortable daily clothes with two hands in her pockets. She could almost pass for a boy.

"Black's in tent nine," Joker announces.

Ciel nearly gasps. "Seba.. Black and I aren't rooming together?!" he shouts.

Dagger laughs, "Smile really sticks close to Black, huh? You'll be independent soon."

"T—That's not it—" Ciel protests, sweating. "Black and I should be together after all—"

"Black's roommate is Suit!"

The air goes still for a moment when Joker says this, both William and Sebastian giving each other a deep and unsettling glare.

"Wha?!" Ciel yells.

"Black and Smile already get along well, so this is your chance to make new friends!" Dagger smiles, standing close to Joker.

Preparing to walk off, Joker is promptly stopped by Leah approaching in slow, small steps.

"Wait.. I didn't get an assignment," she bites her lips, not looking the ginger in the eye.

Tilting his head, Joker double-checks his paper with surprised eyes. "Huh. How'd I forget about ya? Well, no worries, just go with Smile!" he nods.

This immediately causes Leah to perk up from her half-asleep state, "But Ci— Smile is a man?!" she fights back a yell.

"So?" Joker asks.

"So I'm a woman! I can't sleep in the same room as a man!" Leah nearly shakes in her spot. 'Sleep in the same room as a man?! That is even worse than the clothes. If anyone were to find out about this.. I'd surely be ruined! No one would ever want to be seen with me again. I'd have to demand Ciel to marry me and protect my name.. That��'

A laugh sounds from Joker as he pats her head with his prosthetic. "Nonsense. Now, let's split up!"

Leah barely has a moment to fight before both Joker and Dagger walk off, leaving her in a state of dread and reluctance to move. However, she ignores her reluctance and slowly approaches Ciel and Doll, keeping her gaze trained on the ground.

"It's nice to meet you, Smile! Diamond!" Doll smiles brightly, holding out a hand.

"..Yeah.." Ciel responds warily, shaking her hand. Leah on the other hand refuses, caught up in her thoughts and trying to not contemplate killing herself.

"I will be ruined by the end of this.."

[xblasphemia]

  𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟⧸𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑒 :  vanessa morgrave  ››  original vampire   ››  phoebe tonkin .  

❛❛   aesthetic .  ❜❜   ⸻   ◜   ❏  . ⸻ how like a goddess she smiles : beautifully sweet & ready to rip out your heart , bloodstained dress & manicured fingers , how lonely she must feel , she is truly a puzzle but god help anyone who mistook her for a game , a beauty with the taste of copper in her mouth . ⸻ ✎ penned by lily .

𝐈 . . . 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 !

full name : vanessa morgrave .

age : unknown .

date of birth : august 21st .

occupation : unemployed ( for now ) .

species : original vampire .

neighborhood residency : hidden hills.

hair color : brown .

eye color : hazel-green .

notable scars : none .

𝐈𝐈 . . . 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 !

positive : observant , playful , vehement .

negative : ruthless , unpredictable , vengeful .

moral alignment : neutral .

element : fire .

hogwarts house : slytherin .

emotional stability : unknown .

habits : unknown .

𝐈𝐈𝐈 . . . 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 !

sibling(s) : noah morgrave . elizabeth morgrave .

descendent : finney and vance blake .

TW : murder tw

𝐈𝐕 . . . 𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘 !

⸻ not much is known about vanessa. if you asked her, she wouldn’t remember much about the day she was born. Not of her family aside from her siblings, if she ever had one, and not of her mundane life, if she even ever was human .  her only connection to the fact that she was human once was her mundane son and her bloodline going on . 

⸻  In her early life, vanessa can be characterized as a caring and polite person. yet as beautiful and as kind as she can be , vanessa is capable of being ruthless. Having a sinister, cold, and very dangerous personality.  Anyone supernatural would know the name vanessa. as gentle as she may seem, those who anger her or witness it, knows her to be murderous by trade. many saing she holds a very sadistic nature, killing for pleasure rather than for duty.

⸻ rumors would say she tended to destroy things when she grew bored of them and showed very little reaction to the deaths of her own ‘children’ as well as seeming to enjoy tormenting others. in truth, she hated it and came to lose faith in people and humanity. she wasn't sadistic as rumors went, she was just cold and did not give second chances. many who knew her truly knew otherwise. vanessa was just as broken simply wants to give people the chance to do the right thing, however facing villains and enemies or behavior that she sees as greedy or wrong can sometimes flip a kind of ruthless switch in her head. which resulted in many horrible rumors.

⸻ As time went on, vanessa eventually became extremely apathetic. Beginning to feel her age. Beneath her juvenile exterior was an old woman who had seen and done many terrible things and felt a deep loneliness.  Which resulted in her disappearence . Up until 500+ years ago, many believed vanessa to be dead. aside from her siblings. she was never one to boast about being a morgrave .

⸻ Coming to ravens peak was not in her plans . Yet keeping tabs on her bloodline she had heard of them being attacked and leaving behind two sons with nowhere to go or family for the time being . they were the in a way her family still . her bloodline. So vanessa took it upon herself to watch over the child.

⸻ since her move a week ago ,  vanessa is practically an invisible force in town, only planning on making her presence known when she wants to be. Most not knowing what vanessa looks like ( aside from those who have lives / family and the others originals / because it’s been centuries since anyone seen her), are generally surprised to learn she’s a morgrave. 

⸻  As apathetic as she is now, vanessa does have a softer side which is rarely shown. Playful towards her lovers and people she eventually cares for. Despite this it’s best to be careful because when her patience reached its limit or her enemies were duplicitous, or people tended to be disrespectful, they received no mercy or second chances.

[sweetmusingss]

“Yeah but I will never be too busy for you, my little one,” I say, smiling warmly at him. I had taken a step back from the school and sometimes I almost felt ashamed that I did not work more. Truthfully though, I loved being a stay-at-home mom. I loved that I didn’t always have to use daycare for Noah and that I was privileged enough to be able to spend so much time with my son. I didn’t want to miss any moments with him. I wasn’t sure if I would ever have another child so I wanted to cherish having a little one. “We love you very much and you’re more than enough for us. Now, get some sleep, my little angel,” I say, kissing his forehead once more before standing up and holding my hand out to you after you said good-night to Noah.

Seb nods, “You’ll be busy too being a super cool uncle to two new little kids!” Seb smiles as Noah seemed to like the idea of having two more friends, ruffling his hair before kissing his forehead after you, turning on his nightlight and taking your hand as you both leave the room. He sighs as he walks into your bedroom, taking a deep breath. “Today was a lot of fun, babe. Thank you for the amazing birthday. That food was unbelievable and I still don’t fully believe that you made it all on your own... I sort of believe you got it delivered from Olive Garden or something.” He winks up at you, smirking a bit, knowing that you did make all that food since you were just that talented and amazing in the kitchen.

__

Emma swallows hard when hearing what you said to her, not having realized that you could hear her this whole time. She didn’t know whether to love that or be embarrassed about it. It meant that she didn’t have the pressure of waiting for you to say it back or react to her saying it the first time. She felt her heart racing as she stared back into your eyes. “I wish you would have said it back sooner,” she said, trying to lighten the mood, always feeling awkward in vulnerable situations but it meant a lot to her to hear you say that. You actually loved her too but of course, she should not be surprised. She was your true love after all. She got you a water bottle that she had with her, handing it to you. “Please drink and we can talk more later. You should save your energy,” she smiled softly at you before running towards your door, flagging a doctor down but her eyes barely leaving yours as she did so. She did not want to leave your side, almost terrified something could happen to you again. She was not going to lose you again.

I let out a small giggle as she says she wishes I said it sooner, loving that even after all of this, we were teasing one another. It was always just so easy with Emma. I take the water willingly, taking a few long gulps as she flags down a doctor. I let him look me over, not sure how I was so okay with this entire thing. I was just woken up from a sleeping curse like Sleeping Beauty and apparently Storybrooke wasn’t a normal town and I was finding it totally normal. I sit up slowly once the doctor left, him saying I had to stay for observation for another night. I was about to turn to speak to Emma who hadn’t left my side the entire time before Megan was busting into the room with Regina hot on her tail. I let out a huff of air as Megan all but throws herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck, not surprised she was here since I heard her talking to me while I was asleep but shocked that she wasn’t grabbing me and forcing me out of this ‘creepy’ town where weird things happened.

Regina’s brows were furrowed as she walked into the room, looking at Emma and then at me, then back at Emma. “What happened? Who woke her?” Regina still had no idea that it could’ve been Emma. In a million years, she never would’ve guessed that her best friend’s true love was some random waitress from Granny’s. She assumed Emma’s true love was off in the Enchanted Forest or something, assuming that she would have some fairytale story like the rest of her annoying, charming family.

[stxrslisten]

Julissa was making the best of their stay in the dusk court, she wanted to know it all, learn it all before they found their way back home. if she had to return to summer and never see dusk again, she would at least take pleasure in knowing she had enjoyed every day to the fullest there. she is currently observing the distance with a smile on her face, the waves afar seemed so peaceful when there was so much chaos around them. "good to see me here? although in good spirits seems odd to say it when we are all forced to be here, don't you think?" she says arching an eyebrow, but her smile slips through. "i am just giving you a hard time, is good to see you well noah."

closed starter for @stxrslisten ( julissa )

more   than   a   century   that   the   guard   had   been   working   for   the   high   family   had   only   helped   him   in   getting   closer   to   the   family.   in   particular   to   one   specific   member   that   he   had   eventually   married.   that   marriage   forming   out   of   nothing   but   his   pure   love   for   cassiopeia.   never   really   having   a   hard   time   with   the   majority   of   her   siblings   was   definitely   a   relief.   finding   the   other's   sibling   as   he   made   his   way   around   their   new   temporary   home,   the   dusk   court.   a   soft   smile   on   his   features   as   he   approached   the   other.   "lady   julissa."   he   greeted   her   politely.   "it's   good   to   see   you   here."

[castlebyersafterdark]

hi! i worked in film and theatre when i was out of college, and also took some acting classes. thats true about the cast definitely knowing scripts and arcs ahead of time. in most cases, for an actor to do the best work, they need to be aware of their arc and not going in blind. how can they truly understand their character otherwise? with sometime like ST, made over so long, the details may have changed and certain cases like robin's were edited during production. but maya suggested that major change for robin herself, so she wasnt in the dark. and david harbour has known the ending for a long time. he's an adult, they trust him. finn, i feel, would have guessed even if he wasnt told, as he seems like a wise old soul and is well-versed in cinema and therefore tropes, as well as the duffer's own style. he knew exactly how to play mike in s4 and perhaps even received private directorial instruction and secret scripts that detailed things only his character needs to know. keeping actors in the dark is usually only utilised where it benefits the character - for example, if they want a genuine awe response on screen - because it is also controversial and can put actors at risk (see historic cases of actors being forced/pressured to do things they hadnt agreed to prior).

the cast are instructed to say they know nothing for press reasons, and its so unbelievable to me that im surprised the press keep asking what they know. hoping they'll slip? cos it's an easy way to build hype? cos it's an expected question? who knows. but it's funny to watch all the different ways they choose to deny it. at the SAG awards once gaten said he knows nothing, then noah made a very obvious face that he was lying, and gaten then conceded he knew stuff hahah. noah then tried to cover it up and say he knew nothing too and was joking. noah wasn't lying well in that instance haha! probs too full of adrenaline. adorable.

https://youtu.be/pyy5Y4WyiRI?si=Wn5spFB8-QNE9jei&t=99

he has also admitted to keeping a daily countdown on his phone for the season's release, so he's an excitable boy. finn is also a hilariously bad liar. i love seeing them try to deny what they know and am always flummoxed when fans believe it.

thats true about the cast definitely knowing scripts and arcs ahead of time. in most cases, for an actor to do the best work, they need to be aware of their arc and not going in blind. how can they truly understand their character otherwise?

That's more what I thought! Doubt my instincts on the whole filming/acting process because I've never studied anything, it's all very online observation and osmosis.

And oooh the babies! That clip. They are so sweet. Noah is not a good liar oh my god. And he keeps a countdown on his phone?? Aw. I just love when the people making the shows are actual fans, too. It makes me sad and feel some sort of way when actors say they can't watch themselves in stuff they've made, but I kind of understand it. I do find it difficult to read back my own writing once I've published it, so. I get it to an extent.

[rotessaboggs]

How realistic should a work of fiction be? ~aka this is me rambling~

Warning: This is going to be more like me getting all of my messy thoughts out of my head than a coherent in-depth analysis. So read it at your own expense lol. Still, I would really love to read you guys’ thoughts and opinions on this topic. This is something I have been pondering upon for quite some time but I didn’t have the urge to write it down until I saw people on Twitter “arguing” over what a therapist said about Mike.

Also, English is not my native language so sorry in advance for any spelling/ grammatical mistakes or ambiguous/ confusing word choices. I won’t mind if you guys point it out for me.

First of all, let me start off with some chit-chats (you guys can skip it if you like). I have no intention of “forcing” my opinions on others so I want to make it clear how I am like which can affect my viewpoint intrinsically.

A few years ago, I generally didn’t care much about films or TV shows, to be honest. I did watch movie analysis for fun but I have always been a book lover and I tend to gravitate towards classic literature because they usually make heavier impacts on me (I may use some examples of classic lit later on). I usually opt for classic lit because I feel more certain that it has the thing I love - a character-driven narrative in which we get to dive deep into a character’s inner self, explore all their turmoils in exquisite detail, and observe a natural progression in their thoughts and feelings. 

It was in late 2017 or early 2018 that I watched a video explaining the first two seasons of Stranger Things that I got interested in the show. It was specifically Noah’s acting and Will’s possession arc in season 2 that made me become a fan, not gonna lie. I was super excited to watch season 3 right when it came out. And … It made me so disappointed that I felt weirdly left out when other people all seemed to enjoy it. I thought maybe it was just me and I didn’t think of the show at all during the three-year period between season 3 and 4. I clearly didn’t know that Will is gay or pay any attention to the underlying problem in mlvn’s relationship. That kinda qualifies me as one of the general audience, right? Volume 1 blew me away and made me hooked on this show again. And then I came across posts and analyses about Will and Mike (in season 4 and other seasons) and I was even more blown away by all the subtexts and parallels (you guys are AMAZING!). In one way or another, I support byler because if it is really the direction the show is heading towards, it proves that the piece of entertainment I am consuming at the moment has so much depth, breadth, and width. And that has always been the thing that gives me an amazing sensation of blissfulness and satisfaction when I enjoy art. It makes me feel like a diver making her way down the mysterious depth of the ocean, being fascinated by all the questions and wonders.

Thank you for getting through that. Let me get to the main question now. 

How realistic should a work of fiction be?

I have seen a lot of people say things like “Stranger Things is a show about a girl who throws off a car with her mind and alternate dimensions with monsters but gay characters in the 80s is where you draw the line, really?” Although I agree with the overall sentiment here, there is always something irking in the back of my mind about this argument, about when things should be realistic and when the writers can just do anything they want.

In this case, I won’t bring all the supernatural things into this discussion because I think the matter is not whether things are realistic or not, it’s more about whether all the supernatural elements really align with each other in the grand scheme of things, whether later discoveries explain or disrupt the set of established rules and norms (which can be absurdly unrealistic) we have from earlier seasons. Although there have been quite a few inconsistencies, especially in regard to the Upside Down as people pointed out, there is still the last season 5 in which more will be explained so yeah … let’s wait and see how it will pan out.

What I do care though is the characters, their personal developments, and the dynamics they have with each other.

Back to the therapist I mentioned earlier, I don’t know exactly what she said but as far as I hear from other people, she explained Mike’s behaviors in a way that is favorable to mvln so undoubtedly, mlvn shippers use it as their proof. Meanwhile, they are pretty much against an analysis of a person with film degrees and experience in media literacy. On the side of byler, there is an opposite response: more in favor of the latter, of course.

In my opinion, this is pretty much a gray area. On the one hand, I can see why people cling to the analysis of the therapist because characters are humans and their behaviors and thought process can be explained through the lens of psychology just as normal human beings. On the other hand, they are also fictional entities who play a part in a story, directly engage the audience into a narrative, and are the means through which the emotional impacts are created. Rather than seeing this in a black-and-white manner like “it’s not realistic to do this or that” or “oh come on it’s fiction,” I would say the boundary between the realistic and creative aspects is pretty blurry, especially when people are just talking generally about the show without specifically focusing on a character, relationship, or plotline.

A basic opinion that I first had about this is that: the journey that a character goes through should make sense and make the audience feel like it’s relatable  to a certain extent (or at least understandable). But to adhere strictly to reality for the sake of being realistic isn’t it. That personal journey, with its progression, climax, resolution, and aftermath, has to serve a purpose, or in another word, it has to be purposeful and consequential. 

People argue that Will being gay, in love with Mike and potentially having his feeling reciprocated + having a happy ending isn’t realistic because it’s the 1980s - a really homophobic period. They believe that it would be more realistic and accurate for Will to be rejected or something along the line. But if it is the path his arc is heading towards, then I wonder for what purpose then?

(This thought came after I finished this whole writing so I don’t know where to put it except here. Consider it an irrelevant note if you like) So … When I think of the word “realistic” when talking about fiction, I recall a quote that one of my professors mentioned in our class: “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” I question if it can be applied in this case. Although the 1980s was not a great period of time for gay people, was there anyone who actually got to have a happy ending? If those people exist, is it “unrealistic” for us to tell their stories instead of the conventional one - the one with no joy and happy ending at all? OK maybe that’s not what realistic actually means and maybe I’m way off base.

To be as close as the reality of the time is an obvious answer that some people may cling to but is it enough to be the drive of the arc of a main character?

I am currently reading “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall'' by Anne Bronte and I am pleasantly surprised by how progressive the book’s ideology is considering that at the time it was published, women were devoid of any independence of their own and viewed as the properties of their husbands. To see a woman of that time (not only the heroine of the book but also the very author) deliberately going against that mindset is empowering indeed. The things happening in the book aren't necessarily “realistic” but sometimes we have to defy reality to get a message across and to create an emotional impact. Particularly when it comes to a progressive ideology like feminism or LGBT+ rights, by defying the reality, the writers are able to create a work that continues to be impactful decades or centuries later on. Or on a much more personal scale, we may say it’s a way of self-fulfillment for the authors who didn’t get a chance to live a better life (like Jane Austen with all of her books). Either way, there is a purpose.

On the other hand, there are also authors who don’t defy the rules and norms of the time and try to make their stories realistic. I always think about “Tess of the d’Urbervilles'' by Thomas Hardy in regard to this because that book hurts me like hell with its pessimistic progression and devastating ending. Spoiler alert, the main protagonist of the book doesn’t get a chance to escape the bleak reality of her life and the love story in the book doesn’t have a happy ending at all. Upsetting as it is, it makes sense when we learn more about Thomas Hardy. He is a person who is known for “his stoical pessimism and his sense of the inevitable tragedy of life.” Although one of his most popular books “Far from the madding crowd” has a happy ending, there are still a whole lot of pessimistic things and tragedies that plague nearly all the portions of the book. Also, sticking to a realistic portrayal of the society and having the characters suffer immensely can be a way of social critique, having the general audience confronted with unfairness and cruelty of this world, to encourage them to actually think about justice and equality instead of being indifferent towards those matters.

Now, based on what we know of the Duffer brothers (there are other writers as well, but overall, they created the whole thing in the first place so let’s just narrow it down to them), which side would you think they gravitate towards? 

Depressing as the show can get sometimes, it still offers us a message of hope and optimism, as well as emphasizing the power of self-esteem, friendship, and love. As someone who has always felt like an outcast, a second thought, and someone who tried to seek validation from other people to feel worthy in high school, I find the show relatable and inspiring, and I believe that it’s the effect the show creators want to bring about.

If Will’s feeling for Mike is not reciprocated and he somehow ends up sacrificing not only his heart but also himself in season 5, what message and effect do you think that would bring? Not just in the LGBT+ community but also people who find themselves resonate with Will in any certain ways.

Counter arguments

One may argue that well, if you want Mike and El to break up, it would still suck because she has suffered a lot and deserves love and happiness. Now I would support this if it were not for the things happening in episode 9 and her overall character arc. To be honest, I didn’t really care about El in earlier seasons because I tend to just hyper-fixate on one character at a time. But there are aspects of her arc this season that I find particularly relatable and touching. It’s her need to feel accepted, validated, and loved. 

At the beginning of the season, the foundation upon which she depends her self-esteem comes from the outside, which as we have all seen, causes even a lot more trouble to her mental health. All the bullies and harassment and then the lack of love received from Mike - all contribute to pushing her closer to the edge. At first, her coping mechanism is shrugging it off, putting it aside and pretending that all is good. It really doesn’t help that she can’t be honest with Mike about her struggles although hypothetically, they should be able to be so if their relationship is healthy and advantageous to both sides. I think all the lies are pretty much rooted in insecurity as she is an original person now without any superpower. She has been trying to find herself for several seasons but this is the first time there is no “superpower” - the main thing that many people see when they see El: a thing that they may depend upon in dire circumstances, or at worst weaponize for their own benefit. Her being left without it makes the issue of finding herself even more pressing because it seems now to her that she is no longer as helpful as before.

Despite the facade of happiness, all the distress is still there, waiting to surge up, breaking the dam when the time comes. That time being at the Rink-O-Mania. After that, we finally get the chance to see her true thoughts and feelings. We see that under the facade of happiness, those demeaning labels and names have really caught up to her and affected the way she defines her self-worth. It doesn’t just stop at “I’m different. I don’t fit in.” She literally sees herself in the worst light possible - a monster - something that brings destruction and death.

So the main character arc of El for the rest of the season (and I believe it will continue in season 5) revolves a lot around her defining her very self-worth (she alone knows herself best, not anyone around her; not Hopper, not Mike, her), making her own decisions despite the biggest authority figure in her life - Papa - saying “NO,” and most importantly, accepting herself (and her abilities) for what things are. If need be, she is going to use them in a violent way, like fighting against Vecna or the military, or use it to save Max - her dearest friend. When I first watched episode 9, I was a bit annoyed by the fact that they have El revive Max in such a way because it feels like they want to avoid a main character’s death. But when I ponder upon it a bit more, I see it as a beautiful contradiction with how her power has been used continuously in every season - something that causes damage and death vs. something that can revive life. There is no clear-cut definition like the monster or the superhero because these words imply certain qualities that completely contradict each other and cannot co-exist in one entity, that entity being El. She is Eleven and she is more complex than what those labels can ever describe.

Now this is exactly where I have issues with Mike’s monologue. Because he keeps going on and on about her power (a lot of which isn’t even accurate) and calls her a superhero. Many people have talked about this but let me put it down here just to make things clear: Mike is holding El back from her personal development. She cannot open up to Mike about her life in California, suppressing her negative feelings and thoughts all the way, because he has always looked up to her for her abilities and she can’t bear his pity if he knows the truth. She feels unloved because Mike cannot write the word “love” to her but once again she tries to put that aside. Mike’s words after she hits Angela triggers her traumatic experience at the lab - the one which makes her feel like a monster. And then when she finally gets to see that there is no such thing as a monster or hero, she being way more complicated than what others dictate her to be, Mike once again brings back the word “superhero.”

OK I didn’t intend to write that much about El, which is a bit funny considering that my favorite character is Will. I am feeling like I am driving at night without any headlight so let me end this part with a question: If she continues her relationship with Mike in season 5 without both resolving all the underlying problems in their relationship, it being the fact that they cannot really be themselves around each other and therefore, hindering their own personal development due to each being the main source of validation for the other, what purpose would it serve? What emotional impact and message can that bring about at the end of the day? What is potentially the climax of resolution of all these underlying issues that have lain around for seasons?

The psychological (realistic) and narrative (fictional) aspect of a character’s personal arc is so intricately interwoven to each other that to me, to erase one side from the argument (to completely cling to the analysis of a therapist) portrays a black-and-white way of looking at the show. I still love listening to character analysis of people who have knowledge of psychology though, because I love psychology a lot but I’m not going to forget that I’m watching a show in which everything has a sense of purpose and has to fit into a narrative. At the moment, we still have a whole season left and none of the characters have completed their arc yet, not to mention we are kept in the dark about some of the character’s actual thoughts and feelings and the only thing we can do now is deducing from what we see or hear from the show and other related sources of hint.

As you may realize, I have not mentioned anything like subtexts, parallels, foreshadows, etc. - things that are a part of the craft of storytelling, which further distances a work of fiction from real-life events. But as many people have already written amazing analyses in this respect, there is no need for me to mention it here.

So after all this rambling of mine, how realistic should a work of fiction be?

In my humble opinion, it should be realistic enough to make all the emotional and cognitive processes of the characters make sense, but reality should not shackle creative freedom. It should depend on the writers to decide whether to strictly stick to reality for social critique or to divert from it to present a message of hope. There should still be room for creativity and liberty to create a narrative (with all its parts like exposition, rising/falling actions, external/internal conflicts, climax and resolution) that serves to deliver the message of the writers as well as creating emotional impacts. These two aspects intertwine with and complement each other, and therefore, should not to be considered separately without mentioning the other.

In the case of Stranger Things, we have yet to get the whole picture of the narrative. Therefore, there is no conclusive answer as to why Mike behaves the way he does when his personal arc is still ongoing. Psychological knowledge may provide some theories but who knows if it actually aligns with what the writers have in mind. Until season 5 drops, it remains to be something like Schrödinger's cat.

If you get through this mess of a writing, thank you a lot. This is the first time I have ever written something this long without it being class assignments. As I said, this is me dumping all my thoughts out of my head so it’s really all over the place. Thank you a lot for reading! I would love to hear you guys’s opinions.

“Good morning! And in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!”

[illbringthechaosmagic]

@tarnishedxknight

The doctor watched Noah's reaction change the moment that she mentioned how Wanda had mentioned that she loved him. While Wanda had told her that she had said those words to Noah, she had also indicated that Noah hadn't believed her, or that perhaps he thought that she meant it more as a friends or family way. Now though, it seemed as though he was realising she truly had meant it.

"You don't need to say her name Noah. And I know that you're not afraid of Wanda. I've observed the two of you together and you seem your most calm around her," she replied, nodding softly as he continued as to why he was afraid, why he was outside the room instead of being there by Wanda's side. "That is a completely understandable feeling. But I believe that you wouldn't lose control. That you would be there with her and keep focus on making sure that your brother's babies and Wanda were safe."

She paused, a quick shake of her head in response to his question. "I don't believe that it would. She cares for you Noah, she doesn't try to see you as something you are not. I'm sure she would understand why those things happened the way they did," she continued. "But I can't force you to tell her, nor can I force you to go in and be with her. All I can do is tell you that I'm sure she would wish for you to be by her side."

Wanda indeed was thankful that Noah had arrived. As he made his way over to her side and took her hand, she squeezed it tight, a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm scared," she whispered, "promise me you won't go. I just... I need you Noah." She knew he had told her that he couldn't be here when she gave birth but she was relieved that he had seemingly changed his mind. "I'm sorry... if I made you feel bad before.."

“Uh Noah… I think it’s happening…” (the au where Wandas pregnant with baschs twins)

It took Noah a moment to wake up fully. He'd been jostled out of a dead sleep by Wanda, having fallen asleep with her in her bed to comfort her. She'd felt restless, as she had many nights since Basch's death, and having him with her did wonders to help her sleep. It had taken so much for him to actually spend an entire night in bed with her, both because she was his brother's lover, and because being in any bed when he wasn't alone made him antsy. He was always reminded of Amoretta, whether he wanted to be or not. But gradually, he'd worked himself up to be able to do it. He blinked now, looking at her in confusion, his sleepy mind struggling to comprehend what she'd just said...

"Now?" he asked when it finally hit him. Panic hit him like a blow to the face, square in the nose, blinding and sharp. "Uh... Wanda, I..." They had gotten closer since Basch's death. A lot closer. And yet he still hadn't told her why he was afraid of beds. He hadn't told her anything about himself, really. Everything she knew, she'd known from Basch. He knew he was going to have to tell her sooner or later, but... he just hadn't. And now it was too late. On went the light, and he got out of the bed, backing away from it almost frantically.

"Wanda, I don't think I can be there when it happens. I am afraid of what I might do..." he said, knowing that probably sounded either crazy or threatening. But the last time he was with a woman near her birthing bed, he murdered her. He'd had some very vivid dreams about that experience over the years, as if his mind had been trying to recall or relive that span of a few minutes where he saw nothing but red and woke to the empress dead in a bed soaked with her own blood. "I'm sorry, I... I should've told you..."

But now was not the time. She was in pain, and this was happening now. So he set aside his own worries and went around to the other side of the bed to help her out of it. "I'll take you to the medbay, but then I..." I cannot stay, he started to say, but couldn't bear to disappoint her. "Come..." he said, taking her hand and letting her lean on him as they started to walk.

[tcm]

Something New Has Been Added: Inside Tex Avery’s Madcap Animated Universe By  Donald Liebenson

“The secret in animating is first to have an everlasting sense of humor, next to be able to see the commonplace in a funny way and most important of all, to be able to sketch your idea so that the other person will think it's funny."—Tex Avery, The Dallas Morning News, 1933

At the start of Fred “Tex” Avery’s RED HOT RIDING HOOD (‘43), the Wolf, Red Riding Hood and even Grandma rebel against a traditional rendering of the classic fairy tale and threaten to quit the cartoon right then and there. “Every cartoon studio in Hollywood has done it this way,” Red complains. “I’m pretty sick of it myself,” Grandma chimes in. And just like that, something new had been added, with a cat-calling, zoot-suit-bedecked Wolf cruising Hollywood Blvd.; Red Hot Riding Hood (aka that Sweetheart of Swing) knockin’ ‘em dead at a Hollywood night club; and a slang-slinging Grandma (“Hiya cousin, what’s buzzin?’”) waiting for a wolf of her own in her penthouse digs.

RED HOT RIDING HOOD kicks off TCM’s early morning tribute to Tex Avery, which will easily be the funniest thing you see all day. The cartoons will be preceded by John Needham’s British documentary TEX AVERY: KING OF CARTOONS (‘88). It is an ideal primer into the Avery-verse that charts his legendary career from high school cartoonist through his tenures with Walter Lantz Productions, Warner Bros. and MGM. Along with a generous sampling of clips from his Warner Bros. and MGM cartoons, there are priceless interviews with equally legendary colleagues such as Chuck Jones, Heck Allen and Mike Lah, along with June Foray, the Queen of Cartoons and Joe Adamson, who wrote the essential book, also titled Tex Avery: King of Cartoons. (Coincidence, isn’t it?)

Needham told TCM he was encouraged to make the documentary by Chuck Jones, whom Needham had profiled for the BBC arts series, Omnibus. “He simply said, ‘We should make a film about Tex,” he said. As an Avery fan himself, Needham was all in. “I think it’s his ability to take a gag to the extremes and then take it further and then take it even further,” he said. “Chuck said that he could never copy Tex because he didn’t have a clue what Tex was doing, he just knew that he was a genius. I’m sure I don’t know either, but what he did was incredibly funny.”

The seven cartoons included in the TCM tribute meet the “incredibly funny” standard. They were produced for MGM. These are not as well known or as widely seen as his cartoons for Warner Bros., where, most notably, Avery directed A WILD HARE (’40), the cartoon that established Bugs Bunny’s brash personality. Avery was an outlier at the tony studio that boasted “more stars than there are in the heavens.” MGM did make sparkling and sophisticated romantic comedies directed by the likes of George Cukor and Ernst Lubitsch, but MGM was where clowns went to die.

Buster Keaton wrote in his memoir that signing with MGM was “the worst mistake” of his career. THE CAMERMAN (’28) was an auspicious beginning, but gradually, Keaton lost the lion’s share of his creative control, suffered studio interference and was partnered with Jimmy Durante. The Marx Brothers’ association with the studio likewise began promisingly with A NIGHT AT THE OPERA (‘35), but soon the iconoclastic highs of the brothers’ Paramount films were but a dim memory and the brothers were relegated to playing second fiddle to insipid romantic leads like Kenny Baker and Florence Rice in AT THE CIRCUS (‘39).

But MGM could not tame Tex Avery. Or perhaps studio execs didn’t think animation was worth the time and trouble to meddle with, allowing him to work unimpeded. The best of the cartoons he made for the studio between 1942-55 put the “mad” in madcap, if that’s your idea of a good time. In his book, Adamson observes: “No artist, in any century, on any continent, in any medium, has ever succeeded in creating his own universe as thoroughly and overwhelmingly as Tex Avery.”

You might say that a Tex Avery cartoon is like that proverbial box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get. “Say, what kind of a cartoon is this gonna be, anyway?” asks the title character in SCREWBALL SQUIRREL (‘44), another of the Avery 7 to be featured in TCM’s mini-Avery-palooza. Well, it’s NOT going to be a charming Disney-esque romp with adorable forest creatures. Screwball Squirrel sees to that when he takes one of them behind a tree and violently disposes of him, assuring the audience, “The funny stuff will start as soon as the phone rings.”

BAD LUCK BLACKIE and KING-SIZE CANARY, two masterpieces that are highlights of TCM’s Avery cartoon block, break all rules of the physical world and nature. In the former, a black cat brings instant bad karma each time he crosses the path of a bullying bulldog. At one point, the unfortunate pooch must dodge a succession of falling objects that escalate from a sink to a battleship. In the latter, a chase between a cat, mouse and dog escalates to gigantic proportions thanks to a bottle of Jumbo Gro.

What critic James Agee wrote about the Marx Brothers also applies to Avery in that even lesser Tex is better worth seeing than most other things I can think of. SYMPHONY IN SLANG (’51) is a succession of silly sight gags inspired by a hipster’s arrival at the Pearly Gates. He tells his life story to a befuddled Noah Webster, who pictures literal translations to such phrases as, “I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” “It was raining cats and dogs” and “I died laughing.”

SCREWBALL SQUIRREL features some great self-referential gags, such as the title character peeking ahead to the next scene to figure out what to do next. But the character was so obnoxious that he was actually killed off at the end of his fifth, and final, cartoon.

Avery’s influence is vast. When in THE LITTLE MERMAID (‘89), Sebastian’s jaw drops like an anvil when he spies Ariel nursing an injured Prince Eric, that’s a classic Tex Avery take. THE MASK (‘94) pays direct homage to RED HOT RIDING HOOD when Jim Carrey’s Mask man is undone by nightclub chanteuse Cameron Diaz. And the Tex Avery force is strong in Animaniacs’ helter-skelter pacing and fourth-wall breaking.

But there is nothing like the real thing. No one made cartoons that were loonier. The secret? As Avery told Joe Adamson, he didn’t think in terms of the age of his audience: “I tried to do something I thought I would laugh at if I were to see it on the screen.”

[jellybeanbeing]

The Raven Boys Quotes

I actually forgot how much I love this series and I recently have been looking through them again so here are some quotes that are my favorite and/or resonate with me.

“His heart hurt with the wanting of it, the hurt no less painful for being difficult to explain.” (20)

“What he meant by this was that he was worried that one day someone would fall on Ronan and cut themselves.” (38)

“It was somehow intimate in its complete lack of privacy.” (42)

“His code of honor left no room for infidelity, for casual relationships. It wasn’t that he didn’t condone them; he couldn’t understand them.” (49)

“Gansey could’ve had any and all of the friends that he wanted. Instead he had chosen the three of them, three guys who should’ve, for three different reasons, been friendless.” (50)

“Because it was never Ronan by himself, it was Ronan as part of the inseparable threesome: Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey, and Adam Parrish.” (53)

“There was something hungry about all of the boys.” (58)

“They wore matching raw expressions. Different wounds inflicted by the same weapon.” (73)

“It was only Gansey who seemed afraid that Ronan would learn to live in the dirt.” (75)

“What she wanted was to see something no one else could see or would see, and maybe that was asking for more magic than was in the world.” (79)

“More than anything, the journal wanted.” (84)

“It had been a long time ago, but also, it was no time at all.” (91)

“Sometimes, Gansey felt like his life was made up of a dozen hours that he could never forget.” (91) 

“Everyone dreamed, only some forgot.” (97)

“There was something about his stare that took something from the other person.” (115)

“So many things survived here without really living.” (133)

“Gansey could see his irises moving underneath the thin skin of his eyelids, a dreamer awake.” (135)

“Gansey. This was Gansey.” (140)

“They filled the hallway to overflowing, somehow the three of them, loud and male and so comfortable with one another that they allowed no one else to be comfortable with them.” (140)

“It also made her feel strangely jealous; she wanted something like that, a bond strong enough to transcend words.” (144)

“’I don’t have a brother, ma’am,’ Adam replied. But Blue saw his eyes dart to Gansey.” (145)

“The approval of someone like him, who clearly cared for no one, seemed like it would be worth more.” (146)

“Something about Gansey made her feel so strongly other that it was as if she had to guard her emotions against him.” (148)

“In this room with Maura and Calla and Persephone, time felt circular.” (149)

“But more than that, he missed the Ronan that had existed when Niall Lynch had still been alive.” (159)

“‘Do you not want me to come?’   Something stuck in Gansey’s chest. ‘I would take all of you anywhere with me.’” (163)

“And now Gansey was king here, and he didn’t even know how to use it.” (174)

“Adam wouldn’t admit it to anyone, least of all Gansey, but he was tired.” (186)

“‘If magic exists, I just want to see it. Just once.’ ‘You’re as bad as Gansey,’ Adam said, but he didn’t sound as if he thought that was very bad at all.” (193)

“‘Is this thing safe?’ ‘Safe as life.’” (195)

“It was some private joy that she managed to be in on by virtue of being in the helicopter and, just like that, Blue was excited, too.” (197)

“The journal and Gansey were clearly long-acquainted, and he wanted her to know. This is me. The real me.” (205)

“You’re right, Ronan, it’s starting, something’s starting.” (207)

“It was suddenly difficult not to be excited by the idea of explaining it all to her.” (208)

“Gansey grinned at them both. He was hard to resist in this form: glowing with rows and rows of white teeth, a college brochure in the making.” (213)

“Everything was alive, alive. She breathed. ‘This is lovely.’ It was for Adam, not Gansey, but she saw Gansey glance over his shoulder at her.” (219)

“This was a wordless discussion, too, though she didn’t think either of the boys knew what they were trying to say.” (222)

“Gansey looked up to them, and she saw in his face that he loved this place. His bald expression held something new: not the raw delight of finding the ley line or the sly pleasure of teasing Blue. She recognized the strange happiness that came from loving something without knowing why you did, that strange happiness that was sometimes so big that it felt like sadness. It was the way she felt when she looked at the stars.” (223)

“She felt like she was part of a dream this place was having, or it was a part of a dream of hers.” (225)

“Gansey had a sense of incredible rightness, then, with everyone assembled by the Pig... She was right like Ronan had been right, like Adam had been right, like Noah had been right.” (232)

“...and they were loud and triumphant and kings of Henrietta, because they’d found the ley line and because it was starting, it was starting.” (234)

“As Adam stared at his lap, penitent, he mused that there was something musical about Ronan when he swore, a careful and loving precision to the way he fit the words together, a black-painted poetry. It was far less hateful sounding than when he didn’t swear.” (238)

“Now, it was real. Magic existed, and Adam didn’t know how much that changed the world.” (241)

“This, Blue had discovered, was how Gansey got places—striding. Walking was for ordinary people.” (264)

“Ronan says that memories are like dreams.” (269)

“This was Gansey who had written the journal. The truth of it, the magic of it, possessed her.” (271)

“’You’re looking for a god. Didn’t you suspect that there was also a devil?’” (284)

“He wasn’t lost for words; he was observing.” (302)

“‘I want you to know, I was... more... when I was alive.’” (305)

“‘Coincidence,’ Ronan said, because it wasn’t.” (307)

“But it was him. He was giving everything that he’d worked for away.” (316)

“‘If you’d just asked,’ Gansey said, ‘I would’ve told you everything in there. I would’ve been happy to. It wasn’t a secret.’” (316)

“And his journal. He felt raw: the chronicle of his fiercest desires stripped from him by force.” (318)

“It’s got a lot of energy, so it’s like having you in the room all the time. But it’s like your boys. It’s quite loud.’ My boys! Blue thought, first in a huff, then flattered, then in a huff again.” (327)

“Above him, the stars were brutal and clear.” (338)

“Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year.” (351)

“They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.” (351)

“He was full of so many wants, too many to prioritize, and so they all felt desperate.” (370)

“...to belong somewhere, to go home, to go home, to go home.” (370)

“Cabeswater was as literal as Ronan was.” (382)

“‘Onward and upward.’” (390)

[ash-mcj]

Stiles Stilinski—ch 1

I’m rewriting Stiles Stilinski (the first installment of Derek’s Person) and I just finished chapter 1, so I figured I’d throw it on Tumblr for you guys ♥

**derek is 9 and stiles is 3**

Derek Hale was definitely not a morning person, but he’d make exceptions for his favorite Spider-Man cartoons. Sleeping was nice—especially since it meant getting to avoid the noise and busyness that daytime brought about in Hale Manor—but Spider-Man was worth braving the daylight for.

He was midway through the most recent episode, reclined back on the large mound of pillows piled against his headboard, when the sound of small thumping feet raced up to his bedroom door and stopped directly outside of it.

It was understood by the pack that nobody, not even Talia Hale, was allowed to enter Derek’s den without his explicit permission—which happened so rarely that it practically didn’t happen at all. Since the consequence was almost always that Derek would lose control of his inner wolf and unintentionally lash out at the perceived threat, the rule was very strictly abided by.

Derek shot straight up into a seated position on his knees as his doorknob jiggled, the person on the other side seeming to fumble with properly turning it for a moment, before it was flung open. Stiles Stilinski stumbled in with his amber eyes open wide and his small mouth hanging agape as he looked back at the doorway—as if he hadn’t quite expected it to actually have a room behind it.

A low warning growl rumbled in Derek’s chest and he fisted his hands into the faux fur blanket around his thighs to hide the way his nails began to elongate into claws as his wolf prepared to defend itself, if necessary. Completely unperturbed, Stiles entered further into the room without paying Derek any heed whatsoever as he wandered around to look at the stocked bookshelf and the Marvel posters hung on the walls. He paused interestedly upon finding the Iron Man weighted bookends on the desk that were holding his comics up.

Considering that Stiles had practically grown up in the manor alongside the Hales, Derek was certain that he was well aware of the proper behaviors to have around werewolves. His father Noah had practically helped parent Derek alongside his uncles for as long as Derek could remember—so even if Stiles somehow hadn’t picked up on how unwelcome he was in Derek’s den, then Noah surely would’ve told him. Malia and Jackson even understood not to trespass into Derek’s territory—and they were two months younger than Stiles, who was just about to turn four the following week.

As if Stiles’ presence wasn’t stressful enough, Derek felt a strong sense of dread well up in his stomach as the toddler approached his bed.

“I’m comeen up, okay?” Stiles told him, while pushing the mess of blankets on the edge of the bed out of his way without hesitation, to make room for himself to climb up.

No, definitely not okay.

Derek didn’t have enough time to force the words through his clenched teeth before Stiles was clambering onto the mattress and crawling up towards Derek at the head of the bed. Derek’s wolf thrashed anxiously under his skin, his heart rate quickening as Stiles entered his personal space.

Danger. Intruder. Cornered.

Stiles was way too close to him and panic began clawing its way up Derek’s throat as he felt his handle on his control slipping away alarmingly fast. This was bad, so bad, because his wolf was not gentle. It was vicious and dangerous and was the reason that Derek couldn’t even roughhouse with the pups if he wanted to—because his wolf didn’t differentiate between how much of a threat people were. A pup would be met with the same ruthlessness as an adult—and Derek had no say in the matter at all.

“You’re all shaky,” Stiles observed.

Noah was going to hate Derek. Derek’s uncles were going to hate him. Nobody was supposed to come into his room!

“And you’re not breatheen,” Stiles said as he sat cross-legged less than a foot away from him. Derek’s claws could cross that space before Stiles would even be able to scream. “Are you okay?”

Derek felt a tingle on the nape of his neck as his wolf’s hackles rose, and the slightly sharper, focused distortion in his vision meant his eyes must’ve already shifted to their golden hue.

And Stiles wasn’t backing up.

“Derek?”

Alpha, beta, omega.

Alpha, beta, omega.

Alpha beta, omega.

“Derek?”

Alpha, beta, omega.

Alpha, beta—

“You need to breathe.”

Alpha, beta, omega.

Alpha—

“Breathe!”

Breathe.

Derek sucked in a deep breath through his nose, since his jaw was still clenched too tightly, and was immediately overwhelmed by the strong scent of cinnamon and warm sugar. This was exactly what Derek didn’t want happening—he didn’t want to smell the way Stiles’ scent had permeated the air in his room and the bedding underneath him. He didn’t want to think about the way he would be forced to smell another person’s presence in his den for the foreseeable future. His wolf wouldn’t be able to relax until the scent had faded out.

He was so distracted worrying about what he thought would be the tipping point of fully losing control, that he didn’t even notice the way the scent seemed to seep into his skin like a warm, comforting blanket. The cold, uncomfortable anxiety that had been pressing against his chest warmed to a congenial, almost homey feeling. The spicy cinnamon scent pushed his wolf back enough for his rationality to work its way back into the forefront of his thoughts and his sight returned to normal as his shift subsided.

Pup. Stiles. Safe.

Stiles moved over beside Derek and carelessly turned his back on him as he got situated—which was a bit alarming. Why would he be so relaxed around a werewolf, after breaking into his den and causing him to shift? The kid had absolutely no self-preservation skills. As Stiles settled, Derek shifted so that he faced him more and his side was not left vulnerable. Just as he thought they might be fine to sit there peacefully, a little freezing foot touched Derek’s calf. Derek scooted a bit further away, unsure why Stiles was touching him.

Derek had smelled Stiles’ scent countless times over the years—he practically lived at the manor, after all—but never in such close proximity. Stiles was always with the pups, and Derek was always in his room, and Derek definitely wasn’t the type of person to like spending his time with babies. They were too noisy, too smelly, too touchy.

Without thinking, Derek leaned in and sniffed the top of Stiles’ mess of brown hair—which smelled vaguely of Uncle Peter, who must’ve scented him recently by ruffling his hair or something. That would at least explain why it was so unkempt. Shouldn’t someone have been teaching the kid what a comb was?

Stiles tilted his head away from Derek, exposing the pale, mole-dotted skin of his fragile neck, and Derek reeled backwards. Why was he submitting? Derek wasn’t an Alpha. He wasn’t a Right or Left Hand. He held no authority. 

“Cora and Mal smell my neck,” Stiles explained when he noticed the confusion written across Derek’s face. “You can, too.”

Derek leaned in again to snuffle along the line of his throat, down to the base of where his neck and shoulder met. He could smell that his sister and cousins had heavily scent marked him there—probably in one of their suffocating puppy piles. Underneath the scent of pack, though, was that enticing cinnamon and sugar smell. Now that he was concentrating on it, he could even pick out the faintest hints of vanilla and maple syrup, as well.

Stiles smelled like Christmas morning at Hale Manor, when Uncle Chris would bake snickerdoodles every year.

“Spider-Man!” Stiles exclaimed, suddenly straightening up as he saw the superhero on the television. Derek flinched away, his eyes instinctively flashing at the startling outburst. Stiles seemed to catch the shine in his peripheral vision, because he turned to Derek and very casually asked, “Do it again?”

Derek raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

“Your eyes,” Stiles said, making an open and closing fist with his hands by his face.

He wanted him to see his wolf eyes? Derek thought it was odd, since Stiles had seen Peter and the pups’ shifts his whole life, but he let his eyes glow golden nonetheless.

Stiles marveled at him for a few seconds, before reaching towards his face—but Derek quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him. He could feel the tips of his fingers tingling with his claws preparing to extend, but his wolf miraculously didn’t force the shift. Derek rarely even allowed his packmates to touch him, so there was no way he was going to let this child do it—regardless of his pack-adjacent status. He used his grip on Stiles’ arm to push the appendage out of his space, then let go as his eyes dimmed back to their usual green.

“I love Spider-Man,” Stiles sighed as he leaned back against the pillows beside Derek, returning his attention to the show. 

The way Stiles treated every hostile interaction so nonchalantly made no sense to Derek. He could’ve gotten hurt—or worse—and he didn’t even seem concerned by the whole ordeal in the slightest. Even his mother and uncles reacted more alarmed than him—and they were in far less danger than Stiles was.

“You like Spider-Man?” Stiles asked him.

Derek nodded once and Stiles smiled brightly. Derek couldn’t help but give a small pull of his lips in return—not quite a full smile, but maybe it could be.

[imperial--orthodoxy]

"You speak of “the Orthodox” as if there is one, united Orthodox Church when, in reality, the Orthodox churches have been paralyzed by irreconocible differences going so far as to excommunicate each other. The current ‘model’ among the Orthodox churches has not preserved a Church but rather myriad, mutually exclusive, ethnically disparate churches with no unifying head. There is no example in Scripture of a government whose leadership is scattered among several, disunited persons with no clear, singular authority—leadership in the Bible is always singular: Adam over his wife, Noah over his family, Abraham over his tribe, Moses over the nation, David over the kingdom, Caiaphas over the Sanhedrin, and St. Peter over the Church. The only examples of shared authority in Scripture are the chief/minister model—Joseph as vizier to the Pharaoh, Eliakim as steward to Hezekiah, Aaron as prophet to Moses, and St. Peter as vicar to Christ the King. Nowhere in Scripture will you find a council or assembly of co-equals exercising executive authority without a singular, identifiable head rendering ultimate judgement. There may be arguments to be had over the extent of the pope’s temporal governing authority, but if the pope’s final judgements on matters of faith and morals are subject to continuing debate by his subordinates, then what is the point of his office? At what point does “first among equals” actually begin to mean something?"

There is one united Orthodox Church. The differences between the Greek Orthodox and the Antiochian or Russian Orthodox Churches (or what have you) have been largely "smaller t" traditions - we are still allowed to take communion at other Orthodox Churches There have been periods of time where some sects have been out of communion with each other, or broken away completely, but to use this as a criticism of the Orthodox Church is laughable when we consider the following: #1, The Catholic Church has had several so called "anti-popes" in its history, which is a fancy way to say that there were several men at the same time claiming to be the Vicar of Christ. We could, I suppose, claim that those incidents were resolved via the Holy Spirit, but more realistically, they were resolved with political and military dealings. This is not a condemnation, of course, just simple reality. To make matters worse, the Romans haven't been any more successful in stopping the bleeding started by the Great Schism, and it is her offshoots that have fractured even further away from Apostolic traditions - I don't think I need to remind you of the disaster of the Protestant reformation. #2, Roman unity is a farce, a sham, outside of the Latin Rite. I realize this sounds harsh, but while there are other Rites that are considered in communion with Rome, the problem I have with this form of "unity" is that is a political unity where actual theological teachings don't matter to Rome nearly as much as political submission to Rome, especially from Eastern Catholics. If you want to know what I mean, consider that Eastern Catholics don't have the Filioque in their creed, and still very much observe Eastern traditions even where they conflict with the theology pushed by Rome. Interestingly, the Vatican itself seems to realize this, as they've primarily only tried starving out Church Tradition in the Latin Rite and have largely ignored the even more different Eastern Catholics, since any serious push on them would inevitably lead to any real backlash. As a rather humorous aside, I have a seminarian that was my sponsor into the Orthodox Church who shared that he's on the email list from Eastern Catholic priests that complain constantly about what the Pope or some other bishop did, and we're both like...."but you chose this?" All this to say, which is better - to let other sects that call themselves Orthodox force their way out of communion with each other, or to force a tenuous at best unity to a single Bishop? I don't particularly like either of these, but I think a false unity propped up by Rome is ultimately the worse option. I've yet to see you actually postulate a reading of scripture that actually supports your version of what the early Church looked like - especially from St Peter as a singular, dictatorial or even monarchal figure within the Early Church. I strongly suspect it is because you can't think of any, beyond the usual "giving the Keys to St Peter" argument. It's a fine argument on its own, but it falls apart in greater context within scripture.

You speak of bad leadership as if it delegitimizes the authority of the office held by said bad leader, but are not the Scriptures replete with faulty leaders dying or being replaced while their offices remain intact? Was the office of king dissolved when Saul disobeyed God, David committed adultery, or Solomon fell into idolatry? Was the office of the high priest revoked when Abiathar conspired against Solomon? No, their offices remained even when its occupant was replaced. So too a ‘bad’ pope does not delegitimize the office of the papacy even if the individual occupant ultimately abdicates, dies, or is declared antipope. The enduring legitimacy of the office does not excuse bad behavior, but likewise bad behavior does not excuse rebellion against the office. As we saw with King Ish-bosheth, even though his assassination brought about the united reign of King David, who was anointed by God, his assassins were still executed rather than rewarded for their treason against the office of the king.

So, what's interesting about this entire paragraph is that you are saying that I said that the office itself was made illegitimate, but that is not the crux of my argument at all. The crux of my argument is that the very concept of a Pope being considered infallible for any amount of time for any reason over any issue is illegitimate. It would be quite hypocritical of me to believe in any sort of hierarchy of priests if the former idea were my argument, and you'd have a point. However, that is simply not my argument, nor is it the position of the Orthodox Church. Priests, Bishops, and Patriarchs all have varying positions of authority in the Eastern Church, but the power and direction of the Church is not consolidated into one office. More to the point, the assertion that Papal infallibility was the only historical foundation for the leadership of the Church is simply ignorant. The Catholic Church existed without it for 1,870 years. I won't say that I don't think there were any problems with Western theology until that point, because I think there were, but this was and still is the greatest mistake the Church had ever made, simply because it is theologically and traditionally unsound on such a fundemental level. Thanks to Vatican 1, the Papacy is seen as little more than a vehicle for change for the vipers that wish nothing more but to fundamentally change the Church from within. For quite some time I've seen Catholics of varying stripes hope for a more tradional or liberal Pope to change the Church to their liking, and that's not a good thing. That's not to say politics never played a role in either Church, but rather that the overall theology and traditions of the RCC was much better protected before the Pope had the ability to arbitrarily change it. If another Pope has to come in to fix the mess of another from a theological perspective that leads to the question of how one expects theological concepts to remain sound.

Just so we're clear, this is not to say that Pope Francis and his decisions with things like the Latin Mass or appointing pro abortion people to positions in the Vatican is the sole reason why I came to reject papal infallibility, but rather he's a great example of the symptoms of what I see as a larger problem.

From a rational perspective, it makes sense to have a harbinger, or a head person in charge. In many ways, that structure is a good thing. The problem, as I see it, is that reality doesn't quite match up to the theory.

In any event, I do not believe we are going to come to an agreement so I will stop here. Suffice to say no one has ever credibly claimed that the pope has the authority to change revealed truth—that is not what infallibility means. It is simply intended to give peace of mind to the faithful to know that they can rely upon the teachings of the Church without having to endlessly doubt whether their souls are in mortal peril because the magisterium is perhaps wrong or somehow subject to change. If you or anyone else has specific questions about the actual Catholic meaning of papal infallibility or other matters related to the Church, feel free to reach out.

Before I answer the rest, I want to point out that you cannot credibly claim that the conversation is over and then expect me to take you seriously whenever you offer to answer specific questions about the Catholic meaning of papal infallibility or other matters related to the Church. If the conversation is over, let it be over. If you feel like you can explain yourself better, do so. I agree that we will not agree, but to be quite frank, I feel as though you skim over my responses, assume I'm just a protestant with no education on what the RCC teaches, and thus you just spitball whatever you think will stick. As for the rest...well, I've sort of laid out my problem with this sort of thinking already, but I will lay it out again regardless. Whatever the intent of Papal infallibility might be, it has very clearly failed in that regard, because the very doctrine of papal infallibility was a massive change to the doctrine of the church itself, to say nothing of the other changes that have occurred since 1869.

While I do have other issues with Western theology at this point, it is my belief that the heart of my issues lie in an extremely legalistic take on the role of the Papacy and of the Church in general. It's generally well intentioned, but I think the actual effects of it don't match up to those intentions.

Can you elaborate on why and how the vatican councils are preventing the great schism from healing? I don't know that much about catholicim and those 2 councils

So when I say that the main reason that schism can't be healed because of the Vatican countils, I'm *mostly* talking about the first Vatican Council. This is not to say that the second vatican council hasn't caused problems, but it's not nearly as fundamentally altering as the first Vatican council. Vatican I is the council the established two major new doctrines - First, the immaculate conception of Mary, and more pertinently, Papal infallibility. The East and West had long debated over the exact role that the Pope should have - Orthodoxy believes that the Pope should be first amongst equals - a sort of mediator between the others, someone who, if needed, can help settle serious debates. The West, or more specifically, Rome, believed that the Pope was the supreme head of the Church. In fairness, I suppose you could argue that Papal infallibility (which, it should be noted, does not mean the Pope is ALWAYS infallible like many Protestants claim) is the natural result of the idea of Papal infallibility. Regardless, such a teaching runs extremely counter to what the Orthodox believe about the role of the Pope and the idea that one man alone could ever, even for a moment, be totally infallible in his teaching just because he's the Pope is...suspect to us at best and outright heretical at worst.