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theseerasures · 4 years ago

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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

#conspicuous media consumption

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millie1536 · 5 years ago

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Different, Not Weird

Well it let me post the ghost thing so hopefully this works this time. 500th times the charm after all

TW: mentions of panic attacks, mentions of meltdowns, mentions of destructive stimming, mentions of child abuse, the documentary ‘Blackfish’ is referenced a number of times (It’s one of Izzy’s hyperfixations) so if that’s triggering for anyone please consider if you are in a place where you can think about that stuff at the moment.

The first time Jane heard Izzy imitating a cat she assumed it was a joke between her and Kitty. The occasional meow that would break the comfortable silence between the two was cute. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that some of Izzy’s behaviour was, well, odd. At times she seemed so much younger than she was and at other times she was far too mature for her age. The queens had chalked it up to her past. The fact that she had never been able to be a kid, that she had been used and abused by men four times her age for the past nine years.

And yet there were still things that bothered Jane. The way Izzy would curl up beside Anne or Kathrine as if trying to merge with them but pull away from even the slightest physical contact with anyone else. How she would wear the same pair of jeans every day no matter how hot or cold it was. It wasn’t that she was jealous, I mean sure, she would have loved to curl up on the couch with Izzy and watch a movie or read a book occasionally but, what worried her was the reason, or rather the lack of.

Izzy had warmed up to everyone a lot quicker than expected. She and Anna would go for bike rides together, anything to get out of the house. Jane was teaching her to cook and bake, something she seemed to be enjoying very much. She had asked Catherine, very anxiously, to teach her Spanish, which the queen was more than happy to do. Cathy had taken on the role of Izzy’s teacher when it became apparent that the girl had an insatiable curiosity. Parr had jumped at the chance to help Izzy catch up on the education she had missed out on and Izzy was proving to be a fast learner.

“Did you know that Cassowaries are the world’s deadliest bird?” She asked over dinner one night.

“Did you know that only one third of the rivets used to build the hull of the Titanic were up to standard? And they were all in the centre third, if they had been used for the bow the iceberg might not have done so much damage.” Was another nights conversation starter.

“Did you know that the flat cap was invented by a golfer?” Izzy’s ability to retain knowledge never ceased to amaze Jane. She often wondered if maybe she was overreacting. Maybe all kids were like this and she just never got the chance to see it before now.

But it wasn’t just her memory or her relationship with Anne and Kathrine that was strange.

Panic attacks weren’t a new thing for the queens and they all knew from the beginning that Izzy would likely succumb to them. However, they seemed off. Some of them weren’t too different from Anne or Kitty’s but some of them seemed to be something else entirely. Izzy’s panic attacks varied from silently shutting down to screaming and fighting.

Jane also failed to see a pattern. Like the others, Izzy had triggers, and yet they had been unsuccessful at identifying all of them.

Loud noises, large groups of people, yelling and shouting, unexpected physical contact.

These were the ones they had picked up on. But they didn’t explain why Izzy would seem to shut down at random times, why her eyes would become distant and she seemed to lose all awareness of where she was.

Jane wanted answers and she was sure the others did too.

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with her?” Jane sighed, exhausted. Kathrine was upstairs with Izzy and so Jane had taken the chance to talk to the others.

“It’s probably just part of the process, you remember what Kitty was like in the first few months.” Catherine wrapped an arm around Jane’s shoulder, pulling her into a side hug.

“She does remind me a fair bit of Kat, especially the constant movement.” Anna commented.

“Should we get her checked for ADHD?” Jane asked suddenly.

“I mean, if you want, but that’s not really where I was going with that.” Anna shrugged.

“Sorry, I just…” Jane trailed off, resting her head on Aragon’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, I get it. You just want to make sure she’s alright.” Anna smiled kindly.

“I know that ADHD isn’t a disease but I still… I get so worried about Izzy, about not knowing.” Jane was, for the most part, the most level-headed of the group, but when it came to anything medical she began to worry.

“I’ll book an appointment tomorrow.” Aragon gave Jane’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“But I wanted to read more about Tilikum.” Izzy protested when Anne told her they were heading out.

“I know, but you can do that when we get back, alright?”

“Fine.” Izzy huffed as she grabbed her book from beside her.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Anne asked, holding out Izzy’s coat.

“No.” Izzy said simply before heading towards the front door. Anne shook her head before picking up her own coat and making her way out to the car.

“Aren’t you cold?” Anna asked when the girl got into the car, “It’s freezing.”

“No it isn’t, it’s like 19 degrees.”

“Exactly,” Anna responded, “It’s cold.” Izzy just shrugged.

“Seat belt on.” Jane said from the front passenger seat. She didn’t have to look to know that Izzy wasn’t wearing her seat belt.

“But it’s annoying.” Izzy argued.

“You know what else is annoying? Dying in a car accident.” Catherine raised her eyebrows at the girl, watching in the rear view mirror as she relented and buckled her seat belt.

“Miaow.” Kathrine looked down at the girl resting against her shoulder.

“I thought I was the cat.” Kitty said feigning confusion. Izzy shrugged, a cheeky grin spreading across her face.

“Cathy?”

“Yes?” Parr turned around to give Izzy her full attention.

“Why are they called quadratic equations when there are only two answers?” Izzy asked, the question had been bothering her for weeks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Izzy sighed, not understanding why the woman didn’t get it, “Quad means four but there are only two answers so why are they called quadratic equations if there are two and not four answers?” Cathy thought for a moment.

“I don’t know, kid. I’ve never thought of that before.”

“Why not?”

“I just haven’t.” Izzy wasn’t sure how anyone could live so long without asking such a question.

The queens had gotten used to Izzy’s questions. The way she would ask the most obscure things at the strangest of times.

When they arrived at the paediatrician’s office Izzy stayed in her seat. She knew where they were going but being there made it real.

“What’s going on inside your head?” Anne asked gently.

“I don’t like doctors.” Izzy almost whispered.

“It’s alright, they just want to talk to you. No needles or anything like that, I promise.” Anne waited for Izzy to nod before leading her into the building. Izzy felt her nose scrunch up at the smell, a mixture of cleaning chemicals and coffee. The lights, too, put her on edge. They were bright and made a buzzing sound that seemed to drill through Izzy’s skull. The third light from the left in the waiting room flickered occasionally. Izzy tried to spot a pattern but there was none. Kitty, it seemed, had also noticed the light and had positioned herself so that it was behind her. Izzy considered her options for a moment before getting out of her seat and climbing onto Kitty’s lap. It wasn’t uncommon for her to use affection as a mask to hide what was actually happening.

Kathrine smiled when the girl began nuzzling into her shoulder, an occasional whimper sounding from her throat. The whimper wasn’t one of fear, instead it was a ‘I want to snuggle’ kind of whimper. Kathrine wrapped her arms around Izzy who immediately fell still, melting into the embrace.

“Isabella?” A woman’s voice called from the doorway. Kathrine felt the girl tense in her arms.

“It’s alright, we’ll be right there with you the whole time.” Kathrine felt Izzy nod against her shoulder before she uncurled herself from her spot and stood up. She held tight onto Anne and Kitty as they followed the doctor into her office.

“I’m sorry it’s a bit crowded,” The woman said as she sat behind her desk, “We don’t usually have so many people in here at once.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Anna waved the woman’s apology away.

“This is quite the family you’ve got.” The woman, who had introduced herself as Doctor Morgan, smiled at Izzy who did her best to hide under Anne’s arm.

“She’s a bit shy.” Jane said, not wanting the doctor to think she had done something wrong.

“Izzy, sweetie, can you sit up please?” Anne asked gently, full prepared for Izzy to tighten her hold. She was a little surprised when Izzy sat up slowly, leaning into Anne and holding her arms to make sure she didn’t let go.

“Izzy?” Doctor Morgan asked, having noticed the nickname, “Is it alright if I have a chat with your- uh, with the grown-ups?” Izzy shrugged.

“Can I watch tv?” Izzy asked Jane, who pulled out a pair of wireless headphones and her phone. Izzy grinned as she put on the headphones and snuggled closer against Anne.

“Noise cancelling headphones?” The doctor asked after a moment.

“Yeah, she struggles with loud noises.” Catherine informed her.

“What about light? Does she struggle with that too?”

“Yes, actually. Bright lights hurt her eyes and flickering lights give her head aches.” Anna said.

“And sometimes they trigger panic attacks,” Kitty added, “Too much light or noise scares her.”

“And temperature?”

“Doesn’t seem to feel the cold, but she’s really sensitive to heat. If she’s too hot she starts to feel sick.”

“What kind of sick?”

“Nauseas, I think.” Cathy answered.

“And how is she socially?” Doctor Morgan asked, “Does she make eye contact?”

“Rarely, but we’re working on it.” Anne pressed a kiss to the top of Izzy’s head, “She’s come a long way with it since she came to live with us.”

“You didn’t raise her?” Doctor Morgan looked surprised.

“Unfortunately.” Kitty muttered, a mixture of hate and anger filling her eyes.

“No, she’s been with us for almost 4 months now.” Anna added. The doctor nodded, typing some notes on her computer.

“What about her parents?”

“Her mother died when she as about 5 and there’s no record of who her father is.”

“Who was she living with prior to you?” Kathrine gave a dry, spiteful laugh.

“Her uncle.” Jane said before Kathrine had a chance to say anything. Doctor Morgan nodded, again writing down some notes before moving on.

“What about her peers? Does she have many friends at school?”

“Actually, I’m home schooling her for the moment.” Cathy said, seemingly a little nervous.

“We’re hoping to get her into the local public school once she’s caught up.” Catherine gave Parr’s knee a gentle squeeze.

“Caught up? Does she struggle academically?”

“No, not at all.” Anna couldn’t help the slight laugh the accompanied her words.

“No, she’s a very quick learner, but she never got the chance to go to school. She was… uh, her uncle he…” Cathy didn’t want to tell the woman, a complete stranger, about Izzy’s history but she didn’t know if she needed to.

“I see.” The doctor gave a sad smile. Cathy doubted that she did in fact ‘see’ but was grateful that they didn’t have to go into it.

“Does she respond to you? Does she notice when you’re trying to talk to her?”

“For the most part, but if she’s reading then it can take a few tries to get her attention.” Jane said.

“Usually we just have to say her name before whatever it is we want to say and she listens, I think she often assumes we’re talking to someone else if we don’t say her name.” Anna added.

“Any issues with sleep?”

“Night terrors.” Kathrine sighed, she hated watching Izzy toss and turn each night with no way of putting an end to it.

“But that would be connected to her uncle?” She asked cautiously. All six women nodded. “What about her temper? Does she tend to get angry?”

“More at herself than any of us, and she usually locks herself in her room when she’s like that.” Anne said, remembering the last time Izzy had gotten like that, “She can get a bit uh… Aggressive? I don’t know if that’s the right word, Violent? I really don’t know how to explain it. She’s never hurt anyone but often when she comes back out of her room after getting really angry it’ll look like a hurricane has gone through it.”

“Or covered in scratches and bite marks.” Catherine said quietly. The doctor made a few more notes.

“And she does it to herself? The biting and scratching?”

“Yes, we’re trying to get her to stop but…” Cathy sighed, not knowing how to explain.

“How is she with touch? Is she alright with physical contact? And what about textures, are there any that bother her?”

“Well, she can be quite the snuggle bug with those two,” Jane nodded at Anne and Kathrine, “But she’s still a bit more wary of the rest of us.”

“She’s starting to get comfortable with me.” Cathy said.

“And she has no problem with me carrying her, but she’s still a bit unsure when it comes to hugs.” Anna added, it was a common sight to see Anna running around the backyard with Izzy clinging to her back.

“And textures?

“She likes soft things. She tends to rotate between the same three or four outfits, I think the more she wears them the softer the materials get.” Catherine said.

“Some foods too. She doesn’t like things like pasta bake because there are too many textures in it.” Jane told her. Doctor Morgan wrote down a few more notes before looking up.

“Do you think Izzy would be willing to answer some questions?”

“You can try, but she really doesn’t like stopping something before she’s finished it.” Kitty said.

“Izzy? Can you pause that for a minute, please? Doctor Morgan wants to ask you some questions.” Anne said, gently removing Izzy’s headphones.

“But they just got to the bit about Kasatka.” Izzy whined.

“Who’s Kasatka?” Doctor Morgan asked, hoping to engage Izzy in a conversation. Cathy, who could see what the doctor was trying to do jumped in with,

“She’s a whale.” She knew how Izzy would react to hearing that and she felt a little bad for setting her up like that but it paid off.

“No she isn’t. Kasatka is a dolphin. Orca aren’t whales but everyone thinks they are because their common name is ‘killer whale’ which is ridiculous because all recorded encounters with wild orca report that they are very gentle and very playful. The only time they’ve ever shown aggressive behaviour is in captivity and that’s because, unlike land mammals, it’s almost impossible to mimic aquatic habitats and they just end up sitting in concrete tanks their whole lives and they end up with depression and are bored out of their minds and lash out.” Izzy crossed her arms and leant back against Anne before adding quietly, “It’s not their fault.”

“You know a lot about orca.” Doctor Morgan commented.

“They’re interesting,” Izzy shrugged, “Plus, animals make more sense than people.” The offhand comment was just what the doctor was waiting for.

“How so?”

“Well, they’re easier to understand. They don’t say one thing but mean another. It’s simple. They do what they have to in order to survive and they only attack when threatened or distressed and not for the sake of hurt someone else, for the most part anyway.”

“What kind of things do people do that don’t make sense?” Izzy thought for a moment before answering.

“Well, sometimes Annie makes jokes when she’s sad, or Kitty will say she’s okay when she’s not.” This took the queens by surprise; they hadn’t realised just how observant the young girl was. “And Anna and Jane always tell everyone not to bottle up their feelings but they do it too. Catherine pretends to be angry with Bessie but she isn’t because she’s always making sure she’s alright and Cathy says it’s not good to isolate yourself from your family but she spends as much time alone as she can get.” The queens exchanged subtle glances at this. They hadn’t been expecting Izzy to call them out like that, but hey what were kids for if not brutal honesty.

The rest of the appointment passed in a similar manner, with Doctor Morgan would ask Izzy a question and Izzy would answer with a bit too much honesty.

That night Izzy was far more talkative than usual, which to be honest was an achievement.

“And they got some marine biologists in to study the sound Kasatka was making and they were long distance calls.” Izzy finished sadly.

“But they brought her baby back, right?” Jane asked, her heart breaking at the thought of being forcefully separated from a child. Izzy shook her head.

“The higher ups didn’t care. All they cared about was money. They didn’t even bother to learn about the animals. If they had they would have known that calves stay with their mothers their entire life, even when they’re adults. The females stay beside their mothers the whole time but the males end up pushed to the outside of the pod because it’s a matriarchal society but they’re still in the same pod and still near their mothers. Also orca have multiple languages, well scientists are hesitant to admit that any species other than humans have languages but they do. Different pods speak different languages and yet Sea World told everyone that the orcas were with their families when they weren’t. They were with a bunch of other orca that they couldn’t understand and in a confined space so of course they fought with each other. They were frustrated and didn’t have any other way of communicating.” Izzy slumped back against the couch; her arms folded across her chest.

“And on that note,” Anne put an arm around Izzy’s shoulders, “It’s time for bed.” Izzy considered protesting but the thought of curling up under the blankets with Anne and Kitty was rather appealing and so she said goodnight to the others and made her way to bed.

“How does she remember all of that?” Catherine asked once they heard the door shut upstairs.

“I don’t know.” Anna shook her head in disbelief.

“If only she could remember her times tables.” Cathy joked.

“So she remembers all of that but not her times tables?” Jane asked.

“It’s probably because it’s something she’s interested in; trust me she hates maths.”

Three days later and the queens were sitting in the living room, minus Kathrine who was upstairs with Izzy.

“ASD, ADHD combined and Anxiety.” Cathy read aloud from the email she had up on her laptop.

“I know what half of that means.” Cleves said bluntly.

“Anxiety, I doubt I have to read the explanation of that one.” Cathy sighed, “ADHD combined, both Attention deficit and Hyperactivity present.”

“So just ADHD then?” Cleves asked, still unsure of what the email was saying.

“I think it’s possible to have one and not the other,” Cathy said, “Like Kitty and Maggie both have ADHD but Kitty’s is more hyperactive and Maggie’s is more the attention deficit, I think.” Cleves nodded slowly, trying to make sense of it all.

“And ASD?” Anne asked.

“Autism Spectrum Disorder.”

“Autism?” Catherine asked, her god daughter nodded.

“Jane?” Cathy had noticed how Jane seemed to pale at the news, “What’s the matter?” Jane shook her head, biting the inside of her lip to stop herself talking.

“Hey, come on,” Anna said gently, “You remember what Izzy said, right? We both need to take our own advice.” Jane was silent for a minute before she spoke.

“I don’t want to lose her.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, “I can’t lose her.”

“We aren’t going to lose her, Jane.” Anne gave Jane’s hand a squeeze.

“But what if… What if they come and take her away? What if they lock her up somewhere?” Cathy set her laptop aside and knelt in front of Jane.

“No one’s going to take her, I promise.”

“But-“

“Jane, listen to me.” Cathy cut her off, “We understand so much more than we did back then, Izzy won’t be locked up because she’s different.”

“Yeah,” Anne brushed some hair from Jane’s face, “She’s the same Izzy as before, but now we have a better understanding of how to help her.”

“I can’t lose her.” Jane repeated, her voice stronger this time.

“You won’t. Izzy is going to stay with us and we are going to look after her and she is going to grow up knowing that she is loved no matter what.” Anne pulled Jane into a tight hug, if she was being honest Anne would have to admit that the same thoughts had been spiralling through her own mind but as they sat there holding tight to one another she knew that what she had said was true.

Izzy was a part of their unconventional family now and nothing would ever change that.

#six #six the musical #six fanfiction #anne boleyn #anna of cleves #catherine of aragon #Catherine Parr #jane seymour #kathrine howard #autism #adhd #anxiety

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years ago

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About me

So, you wish to know about the face behind the muse, do you? Well, I’m not as edgy or ferocious, but I do all right!

Thank you for the tag @noire-pandora! <3

1: Why did you choose your url?

The url that you see now was actually not my first url. I’m first one was lotus-dreamcatcher something something. (I forget what the numbers were lol). It was just a random thought since one: I love, love, looooove dreamcatchers, and two: I think lotus flowers are such pretty flowers! So, I combined best of both worlds and slapped two or three numbers on the end! XD

The reason I switched it was because I wanted to have a more personal connection with my blog. When I started writing my fic, I was like, ��Let’s just go the whole nine yards! No one else has it!’ and voila! Will I change it if my hyperfixation vanishes? No. I’m stuck in hell, remember? *smiles*

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have no side blogs because I would be terrible trying to micromanage them. My obsessions tend to ebb and flow, and this blog is the first time I’ve latched onto something for so long. I’ve had fixations with Dragon Age before (I’ve had the game for years, of course), but it always fizzled out and I latched onto something else (Fire Emblem, Skyrim, etc.). So, whatever fandom takes me by the horns, ya’ll have to witness it here! *cackles*

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

Hmm..I think for about...2 years? I made this blog a while back, posted a fic I had written for the first time, and then disappeared. I didn’t come back until just under a year ago when I wrote my first version of Emerald Eyes Amidst Golden Vows. But truthfully, I’m not sure. I know I haven’t been here long, though! XD

4: Do you have a queue tag?

Nope! I just scan the tags I like, home page, and those I follow’s dashboard and reblog/like what I find interesting, funny, or what pertains to what I’m currently fixated on. I might go ham and post a lot, or I just slap one or two things on while I’m on break at work. It’s casual for me. :D

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I was curious, to put it simply. I’ve always been into art/writing, and all the art I used to see elsewhere always looped back to here. I actually spent a lot of my time, once upon a time, on DeviantArt (The days when I had a tablet and had the time to draw~). Once I got into writing, however, I decided this might be a better place to share that. Not to mention, I saw the community for Dragon Age and I was like, ‘I want to be a part of this! I don’t have many people I can talk about Dragon Age with or simp mutually about characters! And they all seem so nice! Let’s try!’ And here I am. It’s paid off. All the waiting, slight dejectedness, and quiet posts have PAID OFF.

So, if you’re a starting blog and you feel kind of put off, just keep at it. It’ll gain traction. Trust me. :3

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Why not? It’s my BOY in his original, first play through form! (the play through I accidentally deleted, but you know *is still made about that*)

I chose it mainly because it was my best screenshot of Fane, and I was like, “I am true Dragon Age blog now. :3″, but really, it’s just because it was pretty. I’m a simplistic creature with simplistic tastes.

7: Why did you choose your header?

Again, it’s my BOY, and well, it was also pretty with the colors and his eyes and everything. I love my dragon son. What else can I say? *shrugs*

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

The post that issued by entrance in Solavellan Hell.

THIS ONE

It continuously spiraled for WEEKS until it finally went dormant, and I was like, ‘Well, damn. That was a wild ride.’ We all fall prey to the wolf at some point. Even I, who was so sure I adored Cullen. ‘Twas not to be. I like elves. Sorry, Commander. XD

9: How many mutuals do you have?

26! Which is about a quarter of who follows me, actually. Huh!

10: How many followers do you have?

You know, I just checked it the other day and my eyes went wide because I broke a 100 and I was like, ‘Am I really that relatable or likable!? Awwww! *cries*’ I’m currently at 107, but in all honesty, I don’t pay attention to the numbers. Some may be inactive, too, but it’s nice to see people enjoy and relate!

11: How many people do you follow?

85! I don’t like to clog up my dash too much because it’s easy to miss things I’m actually looking forward to seeing (art, fic updates, etc.) I could filter, obviously, but I is lazy. However, if I see a blog I really think is cool and enjoyable and is right up my alley, then of course I’ll follow! :3 I also try to follow back if someone follows me, but I forget to sometimes. I’m a bit scatterbrained if you haven’t noticed from my writing. XD

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

I think I made like...two? They got a good bit of notes, but mainly because they were relatable more than funny, I think. If you want to know one thing about me it’s that if I adore a specific character, I either RAG on them until the cows come home, or I cry about them hysterically. With Solas, I am both, so I throw swings at him while in the next minute running over and saying I’m sorry. And I vocalize that with random memes. XD

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

I get on in the morning after I wake up a bit to check around, stay on until I have to go to work at like 2, and I’ll pop on a few times throughout the day during my breaks or lunch, and once more before I call it quits for the day. I have a bad habit of keeping a tab up while I write and hopping back and forth. No wonder my writing flow gets lost in transit. XD

I also tend to fall asleep with my computer on, soooo yeah. X’D

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Nope. I’m twenty-five. I left the drama bullshit back in high school when I graduated. I’m here to enjoy things that mean something to me, interact with people who share those interests, and just witness how creative everyone is and learn from them. Will I debate with someone civilly? Of course, I love debating concepts and interpretations of characters as much as I love analyzing those ideas. However, the moment those debates turn into ‘I’m right. You’re wrong.’ arguments, I walk away and ignore. I’ve been a part of internet discourse before when I ran a RP chat, I don’t need that again. Feel free to chat with me, but the minute it becomes a belligerent free for all, either expect a quick block or utter silence.

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I try to reblog things from content creators because that’s how they get the exposure they need, and I wholeheartedly support those people because I want people to be able to pursue and live a life where they can do what they enjoy and make ends meet rather than be stuck at a 9-5 job where they’re talents are wasted and miserable because of berating circumstances.

However, if someone explicitly says, ‘you need to reblog this because of some obscure reason’, I won’t do that. Be humble. That’s all. I understand the need for validation, painfully so, but there’s a line that needs to be drawn on some posts like that.

16: Do you like tag games?

You bet your ass I do! I love how interesting they are and that people are eager to involve me in them! Like this one! :D

17: Do you like ask games?

*looks at all the asks I’ve done for Fane* I adore them. Let me talk about my son until the end of time, even if I repeat things because he’s still GROWING.

18.Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Not romantically, but do I think everyone is worthy of love and hugs and yelling, complimenting words that make your insides all fuzzy and warm? YES. LET ME YELL AT YOU AND HUG YOU. <3

Tagging (if you want to of course!): @little-lightning-lavellan @oxygenforthewicked @aymayzing @dreadfutures @whataboutbugs and anyone else who’d like to!

#about me #i'm just a little lurker bug XD #i try to be profound but i'm really just here for a good time with great people :3 #tagged

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