#obs: i have nothing against op

[outplacedwriter]

It's funny you arguing that the script or the writing is anti-Johnny and Miguel. The two most spoiled and made-to-look-carismatic despite doing A LOT of dumb shit. Maybe it's the fact that they face consequences that makes you think the writing dislikes them, or maybe is because some of the fandom is learning to see them more critically. But this statement just doesn't make sense.

Your definition of Protagonist Morality explains perfectly why Johnny and Miguel are still not that much judged as you think.

Because you brought up way too many points, I'll focus on only some of them, or this will get even longer.

Danny is a hyper-judgmental asshole due to unresolved trauma from his youth and it's a problem.

First, this very same description could be used for Johnny. A worthless father who is still suffering because he lost a tournament in his youth and never grew up despite being an old ass man.

But Daniel is a victim of bullying reacting emotionally to seeing a real threat. He is not an asshole. When he saw Johnny at the dealership, he didn't react badly, he gave his old BULLY a jab, which no one can blame him for, but despite this jab he immediately offered to PAY for Johnny's repair. Which he didn't do to antagonize Johnny, he did out of camaraderie. Johnny was the immature child who rejected it because he was butt-hurt about losing a Karate Championship.

Because we get shown Johnny's pity-party life before this happens, everyone takes his side without paying attention to what is happening.

Daniel only snaps when he sees Cobra Kai is back, the same Cobra Kai that EVERY TIME that was brought back did serious damage. Why would it be different this time?

Cobra Kai

It's naive to believe just because CK changed teachers it would get better. It doesn't matter who the teacher is, the fundamentals on which this style is based are already toxic, you can't make it work, you can't make it good. "Strike First. l Strike Hard. No mercy", how could that be good at all? Thankfully the show proves this to us in the very first season. Doesn't matter how well intended Johnny was, the way of the fist will always create monsters, no matter who teaches it.

The problem is in the fundamentals.

Daniel not being willing to give his old BULLY a chance to see if he can use this violent philosophy well with his new dojo is being SENSIBLE.

Stop demonizing Daniel for being right about a VIOLENT philosophy that almost killed him and severely hurt him as a child repeatedly!

Sam

Now that we stablished Cobra Kai will always create monsters, Daniel teaching this to his daughter is good-parenting. I would also make sure my kids stay away from the thing that created the bullies from my youth.

Sam didn't believe what Daniel said about CK until Miguel began acting like a possessive asshole BY HIMSELF. He created the drama by not trusting her, by not giving her time to come clean, by making assumptions and by getting aggressive. But because he's the boy hero everyone is willing to only see the "rich bitch" as the evil one because she didn't bend to his every concern.

When it comes to her first scene with Tory, honestly, Sam was being jealous. Which among all the bullshit we see, it's the smallest of sins. But she isn't shown as the right one for being jealous.

Her behavior towards Tory is actually too good for someone who tried to maim her and broke into her house with a violent gang. Sam acts with too much grace, she should have forbidden her to get back to the same school, that girl broke too many bridges and did nothing to repair that damage besides being poor.

And I hate how we use economic class as an excuse to defend mainly Johnny and Tory after so much shit they've done.

I know it's hard to feel sympathy for rich people, but defending their violent attackers because they had sadder lives is just ridiculous.

And you can't say that the so-called writing of the show doesn't constantly use this pity to make characters like Tory likable despite acting unhinged for dumb reasons (a drunk kiss).

Daniel's protectiveness with Miyagi-Do style

We tend to forget that just because Mr. Miyagi isn't around anymore, it doesn't mean his style of Karate changed. His style is objectively the better one. It brings peace, balance, and healthy ways to deal with fear, aggression, and bullying.

Once again, Daniel's unwillingness to let his kid learn the Karate Style of his bully is logical. Johnny's style is based on his macho-man mentality of "the young people are weak you need to learn to be a MAN". We have been discussing toxic masculinity for years now and I'm baffled how people don't realize the way Johnny keeps perpetuating it. The style is also based on a toxic philosophy. WHY would Daniel or Sam want that?

Besides, Daniel's pride is justifiable. He had a great master and he feels the need to protect his master's teachings. He's right on doing so. The fact that he's a bit smug about it is because... I mean... Miyagi's style is fucking the best, it's not problematic, it works... Daniel smugness comes from being right. And after all that happened this man deserves to be smug about it.

Mr Miyagi deserves to have many people being smug about his teachings as a treat for being awesome.

Last but not least:

This show is bad at writing forgiveness and characters making amends. I agree Aisha and Sam's friendship deserved better. But so does Robby and Miguel's rivalry, Hawk being Satan, Johnny and Daniel, Tory and Sam etc etc

MiyagiDo Karate and Protagonist Morality

So when I watched the first two seasons this bothered me and then last weekend I watched everything else (thus far)... and this still bothered me. So here we are.

Spoilers for all five released seasons of Cobra Kai (although I'll mainly be talking about Demetri, Sam, Danny, and Hawk).

Before I get started...

As much as I'm criticizing the writing of these characters, I don't think the characters are bad, or hate the show. I just think more could be done with them, or in the case of Sam they could have started the ball rolling sooner and she could be a better character than she is.

Except Demetri, they really screwed the pooch on his writing.

Protagonist Morality

So I guess I should explain this term. Protagonist morality is where a show doesn't question the behavior of it's protagonists, assuming that whatever action they've taken is morally correct (for the setting). In a video game, you know all those unguarded chests full of stuff for you. The ones all across the countryside and in towns and often people's houses? The ones you can loot freely and nobody cares or is concerned with all the robbery you're doing?

That's protagonist morality. If the game labels you a thief and you get run out of public spaces for your actions, then the game is labeling your actions as maybe less than a paragon of virtue, and giving you reason to think about it. (Then you do it anyway because it's really nice loot.)

So what about the ACTUAL protagonists?

Johnny, Miguel, and Robby are questioned and judged by the narrative constantly. They generally do things right for them, but not universally seen as correct. And generally the narrative is about them moving forward and making less questionable calls.

The whole point of the start of S2 is that Johnny realizes "No Mercy" is a bad motto, because it just gets people hurt, and changes his teachings to match this bit of character growth. Characters backslide, Johnny and Robby both crash spectacularly at the start of Season 3. Each needs to dig themselves out of the hole their in all through Season 3 (Johnny) and 5 (Robby).

So the show never treats them as not needing growth, as the show is all about their growth.

Daniel

Danny is a hyper-judgmental asshole due to unresolved trauma from his youth and it's a problem. But also the show would be a lot less interesting if he worked through all of this in a timely fashion. Primarily the issue is his reaction to "Cobra Kai" just being back at all, and how he never once gets pushed to question if Cobra Kai in Johnny's hands changed.

Some of this is miscommunication, which is the cornerstone of the Unresolved sexual Karate Tension with Johnny. But his absolute refusal to see good in Cobra Kai had a direct hand in breaking up Sam and Miguel in Season 1 and Danny... came out of it believing he was right.

And when he goes out of his way to try and destroy the S1-2 era of Cobra Kai, the narrative never once actively punishes him for his prejudice. He's also never forced to face why he's like this. It's kind of shit but very much a plot lodestone.

Sam

Like her father, Sam often rushes to a moral judgement on bad info and never goes back. Even if she's wrong. So much of her Season 1 behavior is swept under a rug so that other characters (Kyler, Yaz, Miguel) can be her personal villain. And the worst being Season 2 with Tory.

Sam rushed to 'all Cobras are evil' while in a plot trying to fix her friendship with her best friend, she instigated things with Tory, and blamed Tory for all of it without having to think about why she's following her father so readily. Of course, with the end of Season 2 it didn't matter what her behavior was prior, she had every justification to treat Tory as her own personal satan.

Fortunately for me, and everyone else who likes Sam, most of the later seasons focus real hard on having her grow as a person. Maybe not facing all of her personal failings, but she does grow past them in respectable ways. And while her behavior toward Tory is... still bad, Tory is her personal anxiety attack she's allowed it now. (Unlike someone else.)

She also unpacks some of the prejudice she learned from her dad. Sneaking off behind his back to learn Eagle Fang and figure out before Father Dearest that balance is better than pigheaded arrogance of your own greatness. Leading to the Season 4 finale and her mixed styles.

Demetri Hawk

Before I rant about Demetri, I need to explain why Hawk's narrative, regardless of his failures, is better. Eli starts the show with a clearly defined failing (confidence and courage), focuses hard on overcoming it (through Cobra Kai Karate), and turns him into someone new.

That new person is a loud abrasive asshole, but it's a growth arc.

When Hawk behaves badly, it's treated as a start of darkness. As he grows to love having the power his weaker nerdy self lacked. His acts of vengeance make sense as the flexing of power he's never had before. To the point he becomes the sort of bully he feared. His reactions are all overreactions and that's good writing. You understand why he beats Kyler's flunky to a bloody pulp, it's cathartic but also framed as an act of pure violence and destruction. He needs to live in his anger, his violence, listening to the whispers Kreese offers.

Season 3 is Hawk struggling to choose between good and evil, and in the end he chooses good. Leading him on the path toward balance and being better than either side of him before. Honestly of every character in the show his path is the best defined.

Now Demetri

Demetri is a anxious pessimistic leech. He feels he'll fail before he starts, and therefore doesn't try. He rides the coattails of his friends as they become cool and popular and Hawk was right to call him out. But rather than investigate that, he becomes the target of Hawk's new villain arc, and rushes to the arms of MiyagoDo.

Where he proceeds to never actually face who he was, and just... get to be a cool martial artist with a hot girlfriend as the show sweeps his negative traits under a rug and never touches them.

The narrative never confronts how 'it's fine for me to reap the benefits of your hard work' (start of season 2) or 'I can humiliate my best friend by spilling all his secrets then hide behind my badass martial artist friends' (late season 2) were bad calls, because at the end of the season he just... gets to beat up Hawk to establish the full defeat of Johnny's Cobra Kai.

Directly into Season 3 where he's just as aggressive and antagonistic as Sam is, while neither is treated as being 'over the line' by the narrative. Which is all before Hawk breaks Demetri's arm, meaning he doesn't have the extant trauma reason Sam has.

By Season 5 Demetri is a pretty cool person, but as there's no actual focus on how he got there, it feels cheap. Which really sucks.

What I'd Write-

I don't want to rewrite the whole show, and that makes Danny hard to fix. As so much of him is that paranoia of Cobra Kai. Like- best I could ask for is him going to therapy and trying to work past it (and just being bad at it).

Sam the easy answer is Aisha not forgiving her (at least during S1-2). Where Sam tries to get Aisha back, but every time she either says something about Cobra Kai, or Miguel, or Tory and Aisha points out Sam hasn't given any of them a fair shot, and that Sam has no room to talk after dating Kyler and being Yaz's friend.

Bonus points if Sam also gets taken to task for her going after Tory when Tory was working. Because Amanda already got Tory fired once, but she felt bad about it.

Demetri has a similar route of 'best friend does not forget.' A simple 'why should I ever trust you again' after Moon's party would go a long way to rub Demetri's face in what he did, how he was as bad as everyone who made fun of Hawk's lip at school. How Demetri, for one brief moment, was worse than Kyler.

I want all the characters to either get the kind of care in how they change direction that Miguel has, and failing that being absolutely perfect like Devon (the only person to join Silver's Cobra Kai and not turn evil).

[sevcasejay1chicago]

Surgery- Jay Halstead/ Matt Casey/ Kelly Severide

Summary: Your boys before and after you have a diagnostic procedure. You have anxiety, but you have the best support system.

Mentions: Maggie Lockwood, April Sexton, Wallace Boden, and Crocket

Warnings: nausea, talk of needles, basically an anxiety attack

—————————

In order for you to have someone with you at all times for the few days after your diagnostic laparoscopic procedure, Matt was working on shift today, but Kelly and Jay were by your side. Jay had managed to get two days off to be with you on the day of your surgery and the day after, and Kelly had managed to get this shift off.

Though you knew lots of the doctors and nurses at Med, you were extremely nervous. Maggie promised to be with you through pre-op, Dr. Marcel had convinced Nat to allow him to do the procedure rather than an OB, and April was going to be your post op nurse. Kelly and Jay were going to be with you when you woke up, knowing that you panic when coming out of anesthesia, so everything seemed to be planned out perfectly. Your nerves were just giving you a really hard time.

———pre-op———

“I don’t want to do this.” You said, practically pleading with Kelly and Jay. “Please. I’ll do more tests and even do blood work, but I don’t want to do this.” you had tears streaming down your face as Maggie walked around getting you all prepped while your boys tried to comfort you.

Jay was stood next to your head and Kelly was sat next to you on the bed. Both boys were on the same side so that Maggie had room to work. Jay had a hand massaging the back of your neck as Kelly held the hand that Maggie wasn’t preparing to put an Iv in.

“Baby. It’s gonna be okay.” Kelly said, locking eyes with you. “You’ll be asleep before you know it and then we will be right there with you again. Then we can go home and call Matt. He might even have some time to come see you for a few minutes.” Kelly tried to reason with you, but you shook your head and turned to Jay instead.

Jay’s eyes were showing slight amusement but mostly sympathy. All three of you had masks on, so you had to read his eyes. “Sweetheart.” Jay sighed, shaking his head. “You know I don’t like needles or hospitals any more than you do, but this is going to help you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.” Jay said, leaning down and pulling off his mask long enough to place a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m gonna numb your hand. Quick poke.” Maggie spoke up, already inserting the needle. The boys shushed you as Kelly cradled your face and wiped the tears that began to spill anew. “All done. Just let it get numb and then I’ll insert the Iv. You won’t even know it happened.” Maggie said, rubbing your arm.

The boys watched as your face grew pale and glanced at each other. You had your eyes closed as you focused on trying to take deep breaths. You didn’t say anything until the IV was in place. “Feel sick.” You muttered, just loud enough for the boys to hear you.

“Mags. She’s not doing so hot.” Kelly said, catching the charge nurse’s attention.

Maggie whipped her head in your direction and started giving out orders. “Deep breaths Y/n.” Maggie soothed, jogging to the Iv cart. “Jay, pull down her mask for me.” Maggie grabbed an alcohol cloth and tore the packet open as Jay pulled down your mask. “Sniff this. I know it’s weird but trust me.” Maggie said, holding the packet to your nose.

You looked at her strangely before sniffing the swab. It was odd and a first for you. Maggie coached you through a few more breaths before she pulled back. “Better?” Kelly asked, rubbing your hand. The color had began to return to your face at this point.

“Yeah.” You said with a slow nod. “Still a tiny bit nauseous but definitely better.” You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, nuzzling into Jay’s hand that had found its way to your forehead where his thumb was rubbing soothingly against your hairline.

“Let me call Dr. Marcel and let him know that happened. You also get very nauseous and anxious coming out of anesthesia, right?” Maggie asked as she walked to the door and began typing on her handheld.

“Yeah. That’s what my mom says anyways. I was super little when I had my only other surgery, so I honestly don’t remember.” You said, shrugging slightly.

“Well, let me go get you a patch that Crockett normally recommends his patients in your predicament, and I’ll be back to put it on just before you go into surgery, okay?” Maggie said, smiling at you and your lovers.

You nodded and smiled back before pulling your mask back up. Your boys said an audible thank you as you all settled in to wait your turn.

———skip procedure to recovery———

As I slowly started to regain consciousness, I felt a weight in both my hands. I grunted and tried to move only to be unable to do so. It sent me in a panic and my eyes flew open as I gasped in a huge breath. I could hear the heart monitor beeping loudly as chairs squeaked and both my boys started talking to me.

“Shhhh shh. It’s alright. Breathe.” Jay said, leaning over and pressing the call button next to me. The room was small, just cut off by a curtain for privacy.

“April!” Kelly said loudly, stepping back a bit away from me to not startle me more, but looking for our friend.

The curtain swung open as April shuffled in, coming to mute the monitor that was next to Kelly. “Do you want me to push some anxiety meds?” April asked Kelly as he was the closest to her at the moment.

Kelly shook his head and turned to you, rubbing a hand through your hair. “Give us a second. Let her get her bearings.” Kelly didn’t want to disorient you further, so he knew that he and Jay had to calm you down soon.

Jay wiped the tears that were falling down your face as Kelly spoke to April. Jay kept up his comforting words and soon had your full attention. “Hey sweetheart. It’s alright. We’ve got you. It went well. You with me?” Jay asked, locking eyes with you.

You nodded slowly, reaching for him. Jay allowed you to pull him closer and kissed you softly on the nose before connecting your foreheads. “Home?” You whispered, breathing in time with Jay as Kelly soothed your hair down and held your hand.

“Soon.” Jay whispered, kissing your lips softly. “Think you can drink something for me?” Jay asked, pulling back to examine your face.

“Sprite?” You muttered, turning to look at Kelly and April.

April smiled and nodded her head. “I’ll go grab that really quick. You guys good?” April asked, giving Kelly and Jay a quick look. Both boys nodded and April took off.

“Call Matty?” You whispered, looking between your two boys.

Kelly smiled softly as Jay smirked. “Of course baby girl.” Kelly whispered, kissing your forehead. He pulled his phone out and dialed Matt, talking to him for a very brief moment. “Someone wants to talk to you Case.” Kelly said, drowning in your puppy dog eyes.

You smiled and took the phone. “Matty?” You whispered, giving a water smile at the sound of his voice.

“Hey princess. How are you feeling?” Matt asked, pacing his office.

Tears slid down your face as you croaked out your answer. “‘M okay. Miss you.” You sniffed, looking down at the blanket in your lap and picking at a piece of fluff on it.

Matt sighed and scrubbed his face. “Baby. I know. I miss you. When you’re all settled and I get some time, I’ll swing by with the truck and come snuggle you for a few minutes. Sound good?” Matt asked, trying to bargain with you. He hated when you cried and he knew this was hard on you.

You nodded, even though you knew he couldn’t see you. “M‘Kay.” You muttered. “Be safe.” You said, needing to end the conversation before you full out sobbed.

“I always am Angel. Let me talk to Kelly, okay? I love you.” Matt said, stopping his pacing as he caught the picture of the four of you on his desk. It really pained him not to be there, but he knew you would need him in a couple days, so this was something he was willing to do in order for you to get the care you would need.

“Love you.” You whispered before handing the phone back to Kelly.

Kelly smiled and walked a few steps away as he spoke to Matt. Jay leaned down and kissed your head and wiped more tears from your face. April returned as Jay had finally got you settled against him. It took some slow adjusting, but you managed to convince Jay to sit in the bed with you and hold you. He was desperate to calm you down, so he complied once he made sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt you.

April smiled at the sight of the couple. It was rare to see any of the four alone with just a certain part of the couple. You all liked to stick together, all being better as one, but the sight in front of April was heartwarming. You were curled into Jay’s side as he quietly shushed you and fiddled with the blankets as he attempted to warm you back up and sooth you. Kelly was off in the corner, speaking quietly on the phone with his back to his lovers, missing the exchange but focusing on convincing Matt that you would be fine.

“Hey sweetie. Drink this and if you can keep it down, these knuckleheads can take you home.” April said, handing the small sprite to Jay for him to hold.

You carefully took the straw in between your lips and took a few cautious sips. Jay pulled back when you stopped for a second, worried about you immediately rejecting the beverage, but sighed in relief when you smiled and took the straw back, slowly drinking your favorite drink. April waited until you were done and took the can as Kelly walked back over.

“Getting cuddles already I see.” Kelly teased lightly, coming and kissing your head and then Jay’s forehead.

“Yep. Hate to see our girl cry. Had to do something.” Jay said, turning and kissing your cheek. “She just finished a sprite. If it stays down, we can go home.” Jay filled in Kelly as you snuggled deeper into his side.

Kelly nodded and looked to April. “Can we get her dressed?” He knew you felt extremely exposed under just a hospital gown and blanket. You had made that clear while you were in pre-op. He was desperate to get you comfortable.

April smiled and nodded. “Of course. There is a bandage on the incision site. She’s gonna be sore for a couple days. Just go slow, okay?” April coached, handing Kelly your bag.

“Of course.” Kelly confirmed with a nod.

“I’ll be back in a bit. Just holler if you need anything.” April said, smiling at you before she left, shutting the curtain behind her.

Jay held back a laugh as you immediately tugged at the gown, pulling it off yourself. You were in nothing but underwear, which Jay and Kelly had slipped on you when you came into post op. Kelly smirked and shook his head as he pulled out Jay’s Army hoodie and handed it to its owner to be put on you. Though, if everyone were honest, the sweatshirt now belonged to you. After Jay carefully pulled the hoodie onto your form, Kelly shimmied a pair of Matt’s CFD sweatpants onto your body before he covered your feet with your favorite fluffy socks.

Kelly stepped back and admired his work as you snuggled back into Jay’s side. You had the most content look on your face as Jay brushed the flyaways back. “Comfy?” Kelly asked, a hint of humor in his voice.

You smiled, kissing Jay’s chest. “Very.” You nodded, closing your eyes. “Home now?” You asked, not bothering to look at either of your boys.

Kelly and Jay both chuckled. “Let me go ask April.” Kelly said, leaning over to kiss your cheek before leaving.

“I love you. You are so brave.” Jay said, kissing your forehead and then your nose.

“Only cause you both make me feel safe.” You said, opening your eyes as Jay searched for yours. You fell in love with Jay’s eyes. They always told the truth and looked at you with such adoration. You were his sun. The boys were his stars, but you were the center of his universe.

“I told you we would never let anything bad happen to you sunshine.” Jay said, smiling brightly at you.

You began to answer when Kelly walked in. “Alright! April said we are good to go. Now, it’s hospital policy to be wheeled out in a wheelchair, but I figured you would rather be carried.” Kelly said, smiling as you nodded enthusiastically and threw yours arms up with little grabby hands.

Kelly and Jay laughed at your response. Jay helped you make quick work of getting in a position to where Kelly could grab you up. Though he was quick, both boys made sure to be extra careful with you. You waved to April over Kelly’s shoulder as Jay led the way out of the hospital and back out to the truck.

~~~~~ back home~~~~

Once Jay pulled into the driveway, Kelly gently unbuckled the two of you and pulled your sleeping body into his arms once again. Jay opened the door and led you both into the house. You remained mostly asleep until Kelly sat you down into a familiar set of arms.

You practically jumped up, tears immediately slipping down your face. “Matty?!” You screeched, shoving your face into his neck as you sobbed and held onto him as tightly as possible.

Matt chuckled as he cradled your head and rubbed your back. “Hey princess.” Matt whispered, kissing the side of your head. “Shhhh. It’s alright baby. I’m here now.” Matt shushed, rocking slightly to help sooth your sobbing form. The drugs were making you overly tired so you were overly emotional.

“Glad you could come home.” Kelly said, leaning down to kiss Matt before backing away and letting Jay do the same.

“I was a mess. I couldn’t stand her crying.” Matt said, looking between Kelly and Jay with a questioning look. “What’s got her so worked up?” Matt asked his best guys.

“It’s the meds. She’s been teary eyed since she woke up.” Jay said, walking into the kitchen to get you some food and some Gatorade.

“She needs to eat and then she can sleep.” Kelly said, grabbing a few tissues out of the box and sitting down next to you and Matt. “Baby. You gotta slow down.” Kelly said, rubbing your side.

Matt kissed your head again and pulled back slightly. “Baby girl. Let me see your beautiful face.” Matt whispered.

You pulled back slowly and looked to Matt and then Kelly. Kelly reached up to wipe your face before holding the tissues to your nose. “Blow.” Kelly instructed, and you did, but followed it with a whine. “What is it baby?” Kelly asked.

“Hurts.” You mumbled, putting your hand on your stomach.

“I know princess. I know.” Matt said, rubbing your back. “But Jay has some food here and something to drink. Think you can manage something and then we can see about taking something before we nap?” Matt asked, putting his hand on the side of your face as a stray tear escaped.

You nodded, sniffing as you allowed Matt and Kelly to adjust you to sit between them on the couch. You smiled as you saw Jay, who was balancing a tray with your favorite food, your favorite flavor of Gatorade, and a slew of medications.

“Dinner is served.” Jay said in his best fake French accent. Everyone burst out laughing as Jay laid the tray in your lap. “Need anything else while I’m up?” Jay asked you, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

You shook your head and dug into your meal, starving after not eating all day. You were more than content. You had all your men and your favorites in front of you. Even with the discomfort you were feeling, your soul was happy.

Jay smiled and nodded before settling on Matt’s other side. “Glad you’re here. Her crying for you broke my heart.” Jay said, snuggling into Matt’s side.

Matt smiled and kissed Jay on the top of the head. “Broke me too. Kelly tried to convince me that she would be fine, but I couldn’t focus so Chief sent me home.” Matt said, running a hand up and down your back.

You leaned into Matt’s touch with a sigh. You were exhausted and in pain, but you were so glad that you had your boys.

[softquietsteadylove]

How about soft Thenamesh and the language of flowers? I think there is a potential for a great little story with them and flowers and their own special meaning :)

You can choose the AU!

Rose colours all have different meanings in the world of flower symbolism. Many of them overlap, such as yellow roses, which can express both friendship, but also the beginnings of developing feelings. White roses express a purity of feelings and honest intentions. Pink roses express friendship, while red roses express the most classic form of romantic love.

The hospital is often full of them, for various people and purposes. But today especially, there are roses positively everywhere.

Gil has been giving them out all day.

It essentially all started with his first call of the day. He picked up a woman who had called her own ambulance, having gone into early labour while she was out alone.

The poor woman was rightfully distressed, for her child, herself, the fact that her partner wasn't anywhere near enough to be there if she suddenly gave birth. Gil was still the best one to comfort her, but he couldn't help but feel for the woman alone in OB waiting to be moved to a room.

So, he had gone out and gotten her flowers on his break. Lovely yellow roses with baby's breath in them, for the new beginning about to take place in her life. The woman was moved to tears (and her partner, who did in fact make it in time, was also touched).

He had just gotten the one bouquet, but then he heard another woman giving birth admiring them. Then another--a young lady not even out of her teens. And of course, who was Gil to leave a poor girl wanting?

Now, it seems he has bought out an entire florist's supply of roses and is giving them away by the handful. First was every woman in OB who could stand the pollen. Then there were a few patients in the NICU who had also heard of the handsome paramedic giving out roses to anyone who asked.

Then the nurses asked about it, and Gil believes very strongly in the unsung heroes of medicine--the nurses, the medical assistants, scrub techs, peri-op assistants, even paramedics like himself. So any time someone asked what the flowers were for, he would hand one over with a grin and say they were just to improve people's day.

It's very Gilgamesh--it's very sweet and amazingly thoughtful.

"How does he still have flowers to give out?"

Ajak looks up from her charts. She eyes the vase of a few pink and white roses left by one Mister Gilgamesh himself, and then at the attending head of ER. "I guess so."

"Hm," Thena murmurs to herself as she flips through her own charts. She's leaning against the counter with her back to Ajak.

Ajak puts down her work, leaning back in her chair. Thena might be facing away from her, but she can read all of her kids from a mile away. "It's sweet, isn't it?"

"Of course it is," Thena murmurs with her eyes on her work. "It's Gilgamesh."

"Well, not just that," Ajak probes further, but not without caution. She's pretty sure she's got an idea of how Thena is feeling, but that doesn't mean she's out to provoke the doctor. "You heard how it started out, right?"

"Yes, a woman in early labour, wasn't it?" Thena turns, leaning on her elbows on the counter and toying with her stethoscope. "I heard she and her partner were very thankful for the kind gesture."

"Hm," Ajak replies in Thena's usual way. "I haven't seen him since earlier today."

"He and Kingo got called on a few more runs." Thena sets down her tablet and runs her finger along the edge of the case. "I haven't seen him since this morning, though."

Ajak raises her brows. It's a plain enough statement, but she can hear the slight edge to that tone--the frustration in it. Obviously he's been in and around the hospital, with the amount of floral evidence there is. Ajak tilts her head, "no?"

Thena purses her lips and shakes her head, the way one would when they think nothing of something. Or maybe when they think quite a lot about something but don't want anyone to know.

Ajak gives Thena one more chance to simply come out and say what she's thinking. But unsurprisingly, she has to drag it out of her. "If you want one, I'm sure-"

"They're for patients, Ajak," Thena responds a little too quickly. "Patients and nurses like you, who keep things running. And I'm not sure it's even a good idea for him to be handing out flowers to everyone who asks."

Ajak just nods. Thena does not wear jealousy well.

"Man, that last run took forever!"

Thena and Ajak both look over as Kingo - very loudly - announces their arrival back in the hospital. He has their equipment bags over his shoulder for inventory check. "Not bad, though?"

"No, just long," he sighs. "It was mostly making sure everyone was good on the scene. Things cleaned up well, but someone drove at a snail's pace all day."

"Sorry, sorry!" Ajak leans out of her seat to see Gilgamesh walking up the hall behind his partner.

She smiles, "precious cargo?"

"Very!" he beams.

"What was-" Thena blinks, in the middle of standing from helping Kingo unpack the supplies. She finds herself presented with a bursting full bouquet of red roses. Her hands come up reflexively, her fingers flirting with his in the transfer.

Kingo rolls his eyes and whispers to Ajak, "he's been driving around with them in water until he could give them to her."

"It's sweet," Ajak coos.

"Th-Thank you," Thena mutters out, still stunned. They're even wrapped nicely in sparkly white paper. She looks up at Gil, who's still grinning from ear to ear. "What are these for?"

Gil is the one surprised now. He looks at Ajak, who's smirking at him.

"She was starting to think you forgot her," the nurse supplies, much to Thena's horror.

"Ajak!" Thena hisses at her, although focuses on Gil again when he leans closer to her. Her breath gets caught high up in her chest.

"Forget my Thena?" Gil actually laughs at the thought, leaning over the bulk of the bouquet between them so he can get closer to her. "Never."

Thena can only hear the rustling of the bouquet and the pounding of her heart. Gil leans in to give her a light kiss, right on the line between her lips and her cheek. "Hm."

"I'll get the bus cleaned out for the next guys and meet you in the break room with lunch?" he asks over his shoulder. She nods at him and he winks back at her.

Ajak keeps her smugness to herself, letting Thena bury her nose - and her pink cheeks - in the bountiful bouquet.

[jobrookekarev]

Unexpected Delivery

Chapter One of One

Words: 3740

Summary: All Jo wanted was to go home and spend the evening on the couch with Alex, but apparently, their daughter had other plans, and so she sends Jo into labor faster than either of her parents expected. 

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson. 

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Meredith Grey, Cormac Hayes, Atticus Lincoln, and Miranda Bailey.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences. 

Additional Tags: Fluff, Pregnancy, Birth, Baby, Birth Scene, Grumpy Pregnant Jo,

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: For Nina (@doc-pickles) and her granola bar LOL

……………………………………………………………………

Jo Karev waddled over to the Peds floor. At almost 40 weeks pregnant, her baby belly was barely contained by even the largest pink maternity scrubs. Their daughter also took away her ability to walk at anything faster than the speed of a waddling duck, as she liked to complain. The second she rounded the corner to the nurse’s station, the collection of nurses there took one look at her and instantly got out of her way. They busied themselves with anything that took them away, leaving the area empty and free for Jo to pick any chair she liked. She eased herself into the one rolly chairs with memory foam padding, finally getting some relief for her aching back and feet as she melted into the chair. 

“Hello Jo, how was your day?” 

She looked up to see Hayes was finishing his post-op notes on the tablet in front of him. Of all the people around her, he was the only one that seemed to be unfazed by her grumpy moods.

“My day would have been better if Alex had met me in the lounge on time to take me home like he promised,” Jo complained as she crossed her arms and glared at Hayes as if it was his fault Alex was running late. “Where is my dear husband?”

“He's just finishing up with his last case of the day. The parents need a little extra reassurance after their son's surgery, and Karev is just talking with them. I’ll go get him,” Hayes said, sending her a smile before he left. 

Jo closed her eyes and leaned her head back, enjoying a moment of peace and quiet. She had been on her feet all day in between her two C-sections and running around the maternity ward. She was exhausted. Although, Carina had her on light duty ever since she reached 35 weeks. She urged Jo to consider taking maternity leave or at least doing half days as she was just so overly exhausted and, as a result, grumpy. However, the only thing Jo hated more than feeling exhausted at work was sitting in the Loft all alone, feeling anxious for the baby’s arrival and missing Alex. At least here at work, she could pop over and see him whenever she wanted to. 

However, the peace and quiet didn't last for long as the baby inside her squirmed and wiggle around as she kicked Jo's ribs. On top of that, as soon as the kicks ended, she had another Braxton Hicks contraction. Jo got up from the chair and put both hands on the desk in front of her as she leaned forward. The pain was unbearable and unimaginable. It felt like someone was squeezing her entire abdomen. She couldn't think, she couldn't speak, all she could do was sway her hips from side to side as somehow that helped as she willed the contraction to go away.

Suddenly Alex's hands were on her waist. He came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her as he held her belly. Jo stood up and leaned against him, her eyes still closed as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Alex held her and whispered soft things into her ear to distract her from the pain as Jo moaned in relief. The feel of Alex's hands on her body, although it did nothing to relieve the pain, just having him there, having him support her and having him to lean against was enough. Alex held her as they gently swayed from side to side until her contraction finally passed but kept his hands on her belly.

“Hey,” Alex whispered in her ear, soft and gentle like you always was for her, as he pressed a kiss to her neck. “You ready to go home?”

Jo let out a sigh, and she leaned forward and put her hands on the counter again. “I don't think we're going home tonight.”

“What's wrong, oh,” Alex said as he let go of her and she felt him step back. Jo could almost imagine the way his eyes went wide as his lips parted into an o, and she smiled. “Was that, are you, are you in labor?”

“I may or may not have had a few contractions,” Jo admitted as she bit her lip to hid her smile before she turned around to look at Alex. His panicked expression changed into one of frustration as he greeted his teeth and put his hands on his hips. 

“Seriously, Jo,” Alex said, shaking his head and rubbing his forehead. “Okay, well, when did they start and how far apart if they've been.”

“Relax, it's only been a few hours, and my water hasn't broken, oh,” Jo gasped as if by divine intervention she felt a gush of fluids dampen her pant and run down her legs as her water broke.

“Josephine Karev, why didn't you tell me earlier,” Alex insisted as he glared at her. 

“You were in surg…” Jo trailed off as she felt the pressure in her pelvis increase and another contraction started.

If Jo thought she was in pain before, it was nothing compared to the pain she was in now. She knew that her amniotic fluid cushioned the baby's head in her uterus, and now that it was gone, she felt the full force of the baby's head bearing down on her pelvis as their baby made its way out of her.  

She could only moan and squeezed her eyes shut as she reached out for her husband. Alex took her hand and only let out a little squeak as she squeezed it as hard as she could. He instantly moved to put counter pressure on her hips from where she was still bent over. Jo leaned forward to put her head on her arms as she tried to remember to breathe in the midst of all her pain.

“They’re less than three minutes apart, for God's sake, Jo!” Alex said in exasperation once her contraction passed.

“Not helping!” Jo yelled back at him through gritted teeth as she cried out. 

She gripped the counter with both hands and let out a groan as she pushed again. She was both familiar with this pain and yet completely inexperienced with it. She had seen it hundreds of times as she helped other people deliver their babies, but she didn't truly understand it until she felt it herself. The feel of her baby's head pushing out of her and bearing down all of their weight on her pelvis while her uterus contracted to push them out was unlike any pain Jo had ever felt. And she was no stranger to pain. Her entire body was on fire, and the pain was nearly unbearable, but she still didn't cry out. She just gripped the edge of the counter until her knuckles turned white as the beads of sweat dripped down her forehead as she was consumed by pain. 

“Okay, okay, just breathe in and out,” Alex said, modeling for her as they both took a few deep breaths before her contraction passed. “Okay, I'm going to go get Carina now?”

“Alex, wait,” Jo said, gripping his hand and pulling him back before he could run off. “I'm having this baby now.” 

“Yeah, I know that's why I'm going to go get you a wheelchair so we can head over to the maternity ward.” 

“No, Alex,” Jo said as she paused, feeling the urge to push again, as she could feel the baby’s head move down the canal and she grabbed the hem of her scrub pants to pull them down. “I'm having this baby right here, right now.”

If Jo thought he had a worried expression before, the look on Alex's face was pure panic. He was white as a sheet and grabbed her scrub pants to pull them down to the floor as Jo spread her knees. 

“Holy shit,” Alex swore, and Jo didn’t need him to explain why as she felt their baby's head in between her legs as the baby was crowning. “Jo, Jo, you need to slow down, or you're going to tear.” 

“Tell that to your daughter! She's the one who's coming out of these faster than a lightning bolt,” Jo said as she squeezed her eyes shut as she moaned in pain again, they sure did call it the ring of fire for a reason. “I was supposed to have an epidural.” 

Jo kept pushing as the contraction continued as Alex kneeled in-between her legs and coached her through it as she counted the seconds and pushed. Her body seemed to be in charge as all she could do was push until the contraction passed.

“She's got a lot of brown hair.” 

“Seriously Alex, her head is coming out of me and that's all you can say!”

“I'm sorry, I'm just freaking out a little bit here!”

“You're freaking out!” Jo yelled, glaring at him, Alex freaking out the last thing she needed. 

He peeked up at her with wide eyes as his mouth was open in an oh, clearly seeing how he messed up.

“Nope, nope, not freaking out, and I'm doing great, you just relax I got it, her, I got her,” Alex said before disappeared in between her legs and she felt his hands on the baby.

“I'm so gonna kill you after this!” Jo said, before another contraction came on and she put her chin to her chest and pushed with all her might.

Jo knew that her experience as an OB resident would help when she delivered her baby, but she didn't think she would be her own OB. Despite the pain, she tried her best to remember how to breathe, how to push, and when to take breaks, not that her baby or her body gave her any. With Alex helping her through it, she delivered the head and then the shoulders. With one more push, their daughter came into the world, and she felt a sense of relief as it was all over. The pain of pushing and her contractions momentarily passed, but she held her breath as she waited for her daughter to cry. 

There was a moment, a half-second of silence, as both she and Alex anxiously waited before she heard the baby begin to cry. Jo let out a sigh, knowing that her daughter was alive and well. She opened her eyes and turned around, still gripping the counter and leaning on it for support. She looked down to see Alex holding their pink, crying baby girl in his arms as he crouched in between her legs. Both of her parents looked at her in shock at her sudden appearance. 

“I had our baby,” Jo said, absolutely stunned as her legs gave out from under her, and she sank down to sit on the cold laminate floor in the pool of her amniotic fluid and a bit of blood, and she rested back against a file cabinet. 

“You had our baby,” Alex said as he cradled their newborn to his chest, gently swaying before he looked up at her.

It was far from the most comfortable thing, but she was too exhausted to care so long as she wasn't standing anymore. Her entire body had those hard muscle aches that came after a long day or a hard workout. She was so exhausted she could have fallen asleep right then and there, but Jo was so stunned by the little girl Alex was holding, and she wanted to meet her daughter.

Jo looked down at the crying baby in Alex's arms before she reached out for her. He passed her over and Jo instantly cradled her as she held her daughter for the first time. She began to rock and shush the baby as she had done a dozen times with other babies, but this was her daughter in her arms, and Jo just stared down at her in amazement. Soon she quieted down and opened her perfect dark eyes to stare up at them. 

“Hi,” Jo whispered as she smiled and stared down at her before she brushed her finger down her perfect cheek.

“Hello,” Alex said, and Jo could hear the tears in his voice as he got choked up. “I'm your Daddy and I'm so happy to meet you.”

Alex leaned forward to look at her as well and they both had large matching smiles. Their daughter squirmed and gave another cry as she kicked in Jo’s arms instead of in her belly like she had only moments ago. She could hardly believe that her daughter was here in her arms and that this wasn't all a dream. Jo reached out to take Alex's hand and give it a gentle squeeze as they both stared back down at their daughter. 

“She needs a blanket,” Jo said, looking around the empty nurses' station. She couldn't believe she had just given birth in the middle of the hospital with no one but Alex to help her.

“You need a blanket too,” Alex said, taking off his lab coat and putting it over her bare waist where her pants were still around her ankles.

Jo looked down and Alex's scrub shirt that was absolutely soaked in blood and amniotic fluid. Besides, she was pretty sure she peed as well in the midst of pushing their daughter out. As Alex looked around for anything to cover their daughter, Jo moved to take off her own scrub shirt. She was already sitting there with her pants down, she didn't really care as Alex helped her pull her scrub shirt over her head before she cradled her daughter against her bare skin. She felt her baby against her chest as her little chest rose and fell before Alex placed the shirt over them. The cool air felt nice against her overheated skin, and for a moment, they just sat there in stunned silence staring at the little girl who had curled up on Jo’s chest and seemed content in her mother's arms.

“Oi, where is everybody?” Hayes yelled before he looked down and saw them on the floor. Jo and Alex looked up to see him staring down at them, slacked jaw and frozen in place. “Jo, you had your baby.”

“Yeah.” Both Jo and Alex said at the same time as they turned to look back at their daughter with large smiles.

“Well, congratulations, but I'm going to go grab the nurses, Dr. DeLuca, and some blankets,” Hayes said before he ran off. 

……………………………………………………………………

Less than an hour later, Jo was settled in a postpartum room. Carina helped her finish the delivery and had cleaned up her and the baby. Now the family of three were slowly settling in for the night as they bonded with their daughter. The shock of her delivery was slowly fading away, but Alex was still a little dumbfounded. However, they were both so happy that she was here regardless of how unexpected it was. 

“You just couldn't wait to get out, could you, Eden Helen Karev,” Jo said as she smiled down at her daughter as she ran her finger down her little nose. “You were a surprise from the very beginning and you just keep surprising us.”

Alex chuckled as he pressed a kiss to the top of Eden's head. He was sitting at her bedside, leaning forward to rest his elbows on her bed, so he was right next to Eden's head. Her head was indeed too big for the regular baby hats, so instead of a hospital hat, she was wearing a light purple knitted hat from Nana Helen. Jo was thrilled to have gotten some pain killer as her perfect daughter's big head had indeed torn its way out of her. She had to have nearly a dozen stitches, but it was all worth it, mostly.

“Well, I think we've had enough surprises for one lifetime, baby girl,” Alex said as he still stared at her completely in awe. “You hear that Speedy Edie, no more surprises.”

“For once, I agree with your Daddy, not on the nickname, though,” Jo said as she glared at Alex while he just smiled at their little girl. “No more surprises, at least not for a while.”

He chuckled as he looked up at her and Jo caught his eyes as they exchanged a little laugh. They were still in disbelief that she was finally here in front of them, and they just couldn't stop staring at her, despite how she was fast asleep in Jo's arms. They were just so absolutely in love and in awe of their little girl as they got to know her and memorize her face. Eden was absolutely perfect in every way, with ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. She had Alex's little lips that Jo knew would turn up into his crooked smile as soon as she started smiling. She had Jo’s little nose and her eyes that, although they were a dark grey now, they both could tell they would be a brilliant shade of gold. 

As they continued to stare down at her, their quiet little moment together was interrupted by the door swinging open as Meredith frantically came into the room. 

“You gave birth!” Meredith explained before she looked down at the newborn in Jo’s arms 

“Yep, Mer, meet Eden, she decided to come out and that was that,” Alex said with a laugh and a shrug.

“She gets that determination from her mama then,” Meredith said as she walked over to them and smiled down at the little girl in Jo’s arms. “Well, hello little one.”

Meredith wasn't the only one who seemed to have just received the news of Jo giving birth as Link was hot on her heels, nearly running into the door frame. 

“You're in labor! Wait, the baby’s here already!” Link said, looking at Eden in Jo's arms as his jaw dropped. 

“In Jo’s defense Eden came really fast,” Alex said shaking his head even now, neither of them could still believe it. 

“Eden?” Link said with a smile as he came over to them. “That's a great name. Hello Eden.”

“Thank you,” Jo said as she beamed up at their friends, but before she could introduce Eden to him, Webber came into the room as well. 

“Karev, I hear congratulations are in order,” Webber said, coming over and smiling down at the little girl. Before they had time to say hello, Amelia and Maggie came into the room with nearly a dozen balloons, teddy bears, and other little gifts for the baby.

“Congratulations,” Maggie and Amelia said as they came in, filling the room with the gifts. As if to complete the party, Levi and Helm came in and offered their congratulations with a teddy bear and a balloon. 

Jo just sighed and relaxed as her family came over to her bedside and cooed over Eden while congratulating her. Jo was excited for them to meet her, and Alex proudly told the story about how Jo had given birth. As he talked, he seemed completely amazed as he just gazed over at them getting a little distracted as he stared at his wife and child. 

“Karev, what's this I hear about you giving birth at the nurse’s station?” Bailey’s booming voice filled the room as she came in looking between Jo and Eden to the party around them. “And what is all this? What are you people doing harassing the Karev’s and their newborn? Out, all of you!” 

Bailey quickly began shooing them all out of the room as they all reluctantly left, but promised to visit the next day. Jo didn't mind the big party at first, but she was exhausted and was happy to be able to rest.

“Congratulations you two,” Bailey whispered to them before she dimmed the lights and closed the door behind her.

Jo smiled as she laid back in the bed ready to get some sleep. Alex took Eden and held her as he leaned a kiss on Eden’s head before leaning forward and placing a tender kiss on her lips.

“You are amazing, Jo. Thank you for giving me this beautiful baby girl,” Alex said, staring at her with so much love in his eyes.

Despite how they had been together for more than half a century, she was still surprised when Alex said things like that to her. No one had ever thanked her for anything she had ever done, but Alex did. He made her feel loved and appreciated. And no one looked at her like Alex did. He looked at her with so much love and sometimes it still took her breath away. All she could do was smile and squeeze his hand before she reached out to brush her finger down Eden's arms before her tiny little fingers wrapped around Jo's big finger with a tight grasp. Alex settled in the chair right next to her and held her, and their daughters joined hands, as his thumb rubbed circles in the back of her hand. Jo could barely keep her eyes open, but she just stared at him and their daughter just for a moment longer. 

“Go to sleep, Jo. She'll be here when you wake up, we both will.” Alex said, nodding as she looked over at them. 

She smiled, and she sighed, Alex always knew exactly what she needed to hear. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex said, giving her, her favorite crooked grin. “Now get some rest, you and our baby girl deserve it.” 

“Okay,” Jo finally relented and closed her eyes.

She still hung on to the feeling of Alex holding her hand and Eden’s fingers wrapped around hers. Her family was right next to her and she didn't want to ever let them go.

[nachosncheeze]

Music of Blindspot - 2x09/2x10 "I'm tired" Edition

I'm tired. Life is a bit much these past couple of weeks - I do still intend to do the normal music posts for myself at some point as well as catch up my reblogs, but I'm not sure when and I wanted to get these few observations written down for now. :D Cut for spoilers and as always... I'm not the composers, record label or anything else. I own nothing.

~~~~~

2x09 is mostly new music.

Most interesting obs: During the Afghanistan reveal sequence, what appears (sounds?) to be the same vocals that are used throughout the series are woven in here and there (different melodies, but I'm assuming based on overall similarity). I believe I read that those vocals were co-composer Sherri Chung (though I haven't verified it nor am I sure these vocals are the same person). Whoever it was that sang them, though, composer Blake Neely has said that the original echoey vocals were meant to be an auditory representation of the "real" Jane trying to break through. You can hear them extremely prominently when she first reaches out of the bag in 1x01.

BUT the vocals in the Afghanistan montage are *not* echoed or distorted, beginning with the moment a feverish Remi pleads with Chris and Nigel to let her leave, to protect them. They remain clear throughout the time she's with them... *until* the village is bombed. As she tells Nigel later that night that her government has lost its mind, the distorted musical "voice of the real Remi/Jane" returns.

The music that section is set against is a mix of "Torn Apart", which doesn't normally have the vocals in it, but is used frequently where Jane is conflicted between her family (especially Roman) and the law. There's a tiny tiny snatch of another piece from S1 at the end of that scene as she asks Nigel to stand up - I want to say "Learn to Trust" or maybe "Trying to Protect You", but off the top of my head I'm not sure.

I note all this because I found it really interesting that musically speaking, when she's away from her family's influence and showing the best of herself - trying to protect strangers even as she's nearly dying herself, and having just watched her own team blown up - the music would seem to suggest we're looking at "the real her". But after watching the village and all those innocents blown up the same way her "unsanctioned black-ops" team was, we hear the same distorted echo of "her voice" that first appeared - and stays - with post-ZIP Jane.

Of course add to this the usual caveat that I'm not an expert, not a music critic, not a composer or anything. These are just the observations of a soundtrack geek who also happens to be obsessed with this show. Whether or not it was narrative intent and not just my inference? Who knows.

2x10 (I'm halfway through it as I type this) surprisingly seems to be more heavily laden with season 1 music than any episode this season so far.

That's all I've got for right now. Hope everyone's December isn't too mental so far 💕💕

[jiminwreckedme]

Cottage of the Seven Dads.

DIONYSUS (1)

Other drabbles - Masterpost  Members - OT7 bangtan (reader insert also present.)  Word count - 3.8K Genre - pure bangtan as dads fluff. (Rated G)

“Yes, we are her fathers and no, we are not gay.”

A/n - The drabbles follow an order, it’s suggested you read the previous parts as listed in the masterpost to to understand the follow of events!

 “Hello?” 

You turn around at the tugging sensation of you shirt and look down to see a small girl, head barely reaching up to your hips, looking up at you, her eyes big, cheeks flushed red. She’s adorable with her straight, jet black waist length hair, the studded hair snap that was holding back her fringes matching the tiny demin overalls she was dressed in. She was nervous you could tell, clutching the straps of her backpack tightly and softly tapping her white sneakers on the tiled floor. 

You crouch down, meeting her at eye level as you smiled, trying to be as warm as possible. 

“Hi there! Are you the one who-” You act it out in the air. “-pulled my shirt?” 

She nods fast. “What’s your name?” 

“My name?”

“Dad says I shouldn’t talk to strangers,” She scratches the back of her head. “But I need help....So, let’s be friends? What’s your name?”

You laugh softly, “Y/n. And you are?”

“Ariel, though my parents call me grandma.” She rolls her eyes before quickly changing her demeanor and holding her hand out. “I’d like it if you call me Aria.” 

“Aria.” You take her hand, amused. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” She nods and you purse your lips stop yourself laughing. This child couldn’t be more than 5 years old but from whatever little you had seen, she undoubtedly had the soul of a 75 year old. No wonder they called her grandma. 

“So Aria, how may I help you?”

“I’m lost. Y/n. I can’t find my parents anywhere.”

In the middle of such a huge hospital? Uh oh, not good. 

“Do remember where you last saw them?”

“We were in the canteen.” She looks away, forehead scrunched in thought. “Daddy was buying me lunch when he got a call. And then he panicked and started to leave but I’m tiny so I couldn’t keep up and I lost him.” She shrugs like she’s indifferent but you see the disappointment in her eyes. 

“Aw, he left you behind? How sad.”

“You mean how irresponsible.” She softly smacks her head, exasperated, making you chuckle.  “You’ve no idea how many times I’ve gone through this..”

What an absolute grandma. 

“Okay, let’s find your parents and scold them for leaving you alone, okay?” She nods at your words determined, pursing her lips. “Do you remember where you were before you went to the canteen?”

“Not very well.” She squints, playing with her fingers, tongue sticking into her cheek in thought. “It was op, no, no, was it ob…?”

“Ophthalmology?”

She shakes her head, unwittingly pouting. “I didn’t see really well, we were just rushing around the whole day today.”

“Alright then,... do you know why you came to the hospital today?” 

“My parents said we were getting new family members today, a sibling for me.”

“Oh, Ob-gyn.” You deduce. Of course her father rushed over a phone call, understandable. “Aria, I think I know where your parents are.”

“Really?” Her eyes shine. 

“They’re a bit far from here.” You glance up at the boards hanging from the ceiling, understanding the directions. “But if you want I can take you to them.”

You hold out your hand but she hesitates. “You won’t kidnap me, right?”

You laugh. “Of course not, we’re friends. Friends help each other and I want to help you.” 

“Okay then.” She nods as you stand up, ignoring the slight pain in your knees, awkwardly still holding your hand out which she didn’t attempt to reach for. 

“Uh....Would you like me to carry you?”

“No” She finally holds your hand, her tiny fingers lacing between yours. “I can walk, I’m a big girl.” 

“Okay big girl, let’s go then.” 

Walking ahead you hold onto her small hand, mind wandering over the tiny details like what if your hand started sweating, what if your rings hurt her, what if the pressure you were exerting was too less? Some children liked to have their hands held tight, for moral support but she didn’t strike to you as the kind who appreciated that. 

You give a curious side eyed glance at her and sure enough, she seemed fine, unbothered by the way you were holding her. She simply searched through the crowd, constantly muttering words under her breath you couldn’t quite hear. You wondered what her 75 year old brain was thinking. Normally you wouldn’t be interested in knowing what she was saying. You were the kind who enjoyed the rare silence when kids kept quiet. Being someone who worked in a daycare meant you hear too many kids talking, screaming and wailing on a daily basis. In fact it was enough to make you not want to have children of your own. 

That and the fact that having a child required so many things - financial stability, having the time to actually raise a child and not to forget, a source of sperm. Being single for the last 4 years completely eliminated any and all opportunities for that. But seeing kids like her? It instantly appealed to the idea of rushing to a sperm bank and getting yourself one of these little buggers. You can’t help but think of how cute she’d look with a small beanie that went with this outfit and how many different ways you could do her long hair, and all the places you’d walk with her hand in hand. You’d definitely not leave her in the canteen, that’s for sure.

“Aria!” 

The both of you turn at the sound to see a man run up to you face flushed, as Aria finally smiles. He’s dressed in a long striped shirt, half tucked in and half out of his jeans, monster size shoes on his feet as he rushed in them towards you, holding his phone against his ear. As he got closer you see what a fine looking man he is, - sharp features, cute wrinkles forming at the corner of his eyes, his very obvious adams apple, soft hair falling into his eyes, long slender fingers pushing them back and-

“It’s Daddy.” 

Those two words are enough to metaphorically slap you out of your almost drooling face as the man barely stops before instantly crouching beside his daughter, pulling her in his arms into a hug, balancing the phone between his ear and his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah Jungkook I found her.” He pants, rubbing her arm in relief. “Yeah she’s fine…..What? Where? I don’t know-”

He looks around for a bit before finally turning to you, giving a courteous smile. “Excuse me, do you know where exactly we are right now?”

“Uh yeah the dialysis centre.” 

“Dionysus?” He scrunches his nose in the most adorable way. Stop it, Y/n. 

Aria takes her father’s face in her tiny hands, turning him towards her. “Di-al-y-sis.” She repeats for you, one syllable at a time. 

“Ah, dialysis, the dialysis centre JK….come fast.”

Cutting the call, he took a good look at his daughter, struggling to slip his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. “Oh god I was so scared, where did you go off wandering?” 

“You left me! I was-”

“Voice.” The sudden sternness in his otherwise seemingly cheerful personality takes you aback. “We don’t use a loud voice when we talk in public right?”

“I was looking for you everywhere!” Aria harshly whispers, correcting herself. “Why did you walk so fast, you know my legs hurt!” 

“Oh my angel.” He pouts sadly at his girl, making her forget her annoyance. “Daddy is really sorry, I forgot you got hurt yesterday. Do you want me to carry you?” 

“No, not you” She shakes her head. “I’m a big girl, remember?”

“Ok, alright, Bunny is on his way here, ask him to ok?” He drops a kiss on her forehead. “Now turn around.” before carefully spinning her clockwise, unzipping her bag and pulling out a small white beanie. Cute, that was exactly the kind of beanie you had in mind earlier. He slips it onto her head, muttering softly. “You’re going to get cold at this rate, I keep telling you to wear this-” 

“Bunny!”

“-Aria, wait I didn’t zip your bag!”  

But to no avail. 

His daughter had caught the sight of a certain someone across the corridor, bolting in a split second before her father even had the chance to put the beanie on her properly. 

“Don’t run!” The other man picked up his pace towards her the moment his ears caught her voice. “You fell down yesterday right?”

“Yeah, my leg hurts.” She threw her hands up, looking up at him as the man laughed, swiftly lifting her into his arms. 

“Aw, it’s fine, bunny is here to the rescue.” He fondly tucks her hair behind her ears, adjusting her beanie, walking ahead. 

“Thank you.”

You turn at the voice of the man next to who by now had stood up, dusting his pants, smiling at his daughter in the hands of the other man. You were so lost in just watching all 3 of them, you forgot why your presence here might even matter.

“We were so worried.”

“Oh that’s fine.” You brush it off. “She was a pleasure to meet.”

“Isn’t she?” He laughs, turning to you, extending his hand. “Jung Hoseok.” 

“Y/n.” You shake his hand, only just realizing something. He shared the same jet black hair as his daughter but that was about it. Other than that they looked significantly different, nothing like father and daughter. You looked over at the other man trying to piece everything together. Neither did he look anything like Aria. Again, except the black hair. He was tall, leaning more towards the buff side or maybe that was just his biker jacket? You didn’t know but he displayed a sort of rugged charm and not to mention, looked extremely young. Too young to be a father, too old to be a brother. Who was he?

“Jeon Jungkook.” He nods politely at you with a shy smile. “Thank you for helping Aria out Y/n.”

“How do you both know each other Aria?” Hoseok asks his daughter, readjusting her beanie.

“I just asked her name and asked her to help me.” She answers, earning wide eyes from both men.

“You don’t know each other from before?” Hoseok turns to you and you shake your head, confirming it. 

“What did we tell you about talking to strangers?” Jungkook tries to whisper but you hear it anyways. 

“But I became friends with her first!” She justifies.

Hoseok sighs, “Jin hyung will lose his shit if he finds out about this. Anyway,” He shakes if off. “Aria, did you thank Ms.Y.n?” 

“Thank you, Y/n.” She says sweetly, tilting her head at you, making you break out the widest smile. 

“You’re welcome, Aria.” You hold your hand up earning a high five from her. “Stay close to daddy next time ok? Or let him carry you like this when you’re in crowded places.”

“She won’t let me.” Hoseok laughs, finally getting around to zipping her bag. “She won’t let anyone but this guy carry her.”

“Bunny is the strongest.” She wraps her arms around Jungkook’s neck, pressing her head against his. “Everyone else turns red five minutes after carrying me. Especially him.” She gives Hoseok a side eye making his squint in annoyance as Jungkook laughs before his face morphs with a sudden realisation. 

“Speaking of everyone else, hyung,” Jungkook turns to the older man “I haven’t told them we found her, call them will you?”

“I dropped a text on the group a minute ago.” Hoseok waves the phone in his hand before turning to you, bowing. “We should head back now, Thank you for everything Y/n. I’m sure the rest of us would like to thank you too but we are required to wait where they asked us to, I hope you understand.” 

Rest of us?

“Yes, yes of course. I should go too.  ” You take a step back, eyes searching for the elevator. “and I understand, don’t worry about it, just hold her hand tight the next time.” 

“I shall make sure of that.”  Hoseok laughs, nodding. “Which way are you headed?” 

You point at the elevator a few feet away. “Second floor, the maternity ward.” 

“Oh that’s right past where we are, right Jungkook?” Hoseok turns to Jungkook who nods.  Oh god, this wasn’t a goodbye then, how awkward. “We are headed the same way then. I guess you can meet everyone after all.”

Everyone who?

“I guess so,” Normally you would have made an excuse to avoid further interaction but your curiosity gets the better of you. “I’d love to meet...everyone.” 

As Jungkook sets off first, Aria giggling in his arms as he plays around with her,  Hoseok walks with you right behind the younger man, affectionately watching them. 

“The maternity ward?” Hoseok looks at you curiously. 

“My friend gave birth yesterday.” You clarify, matching your step with his as all of you stepped into the elevator. “ I came to check up on both of them.”

“That’s sweet.” Jungkook quips before looking away, turning silent again. He was definitely the shy kind.

“Ah, I see. Boy or a girl?” 

“A baby girl.” You answer Hoseok, tapping away your foot. Small talk is so uncomfortable.

“How many parents does this baby girl have?” Aria who was silent all this while speaks again. “ Two? One boy and one girl?” 

You look at Aria bewildered. You understood ‘one boy and one girl?’ but how many parents? What kind of question was that?

“Uh yeah?” 

Why would she ask something like that?

And you found out why the very next moment, when the lift dings open revealing a man, skin as white as the wall behind him, clothes the complete opposite color, a pitch black, just like his hair. 

“Ya halmeoni,” He crosses his arms, looking at Aria half laughing. “You don’t just talk like one, you walk like one as well. How did you get lost?”

“Papa” She whines. Papa? “I wasn’t slow, Daddy walked too fast.”

“Yeah yeah catch me.” Hoseok scoffs, stepping out first followed by Jungkook. 

“Where was she?” 

“Is she okay?” 

“Where did you find her?” 

“Ya, we were so scared, Jimin ran a whole marathon around the hospital looking for her.” 

So many voices. Way too many voices. 

“She’s fine. At the dialysis center.”

“You mean the Dionysus center?” You hear Aria sneer and you can’t see what Hoseok does thanks to Jungkook’s huge back blocking your view but whatever it is, it makes her laugh.  

“And this is?” 

The pale man, looks at you and Jungkook finally realizes he is in your way and moves aside, half bowing apologetically and at last you see who ‘everyone’ was and oh my were they many. 

There’s one man before you, two men sprawled out on the couch, one calmly leaning against the wall next to them and another pacing about nervously, occasionally glancing at the door beside him. You do a quick head count. There’s seven of them. Seven men.

“Y/n,” Hoseok introduces sitting down on an empty chair, crossing his legs. “She was the one who helped Aria and guess how Jin hyung.” The man on the sofa opens his shut eyes at the mention of his name. “She went up to her, asked her  name, decided she wasn’t a stranger anymore and then asked her to help.”

Jin let out the largest sigh you’ve ever heard. “I did not think this was what my weeks of training would result in.”

“Dad, she’s my friend.” Aria struggles out of Jungkook’s arms, sliding down and walking up to center, crossing her arms. “Be nice everyone and say thank you”

“Thank you Y/n.” They all obey immediately, seven voices ring across the corridor. 

“It’s ok.” Meekly you give a small nod, clearly intimidated by their presence. Anyone would be. They had some sort of aura to them. The kind that made it hard to look at but also hard to look away. They were so different, it made you want to see more and more. Their dressing sense, the way they did their hair, the way they carried themselves, the expressions on their faces as they sat outside a delivery room, the expression on their faces as they looked at you - nothing about them was the same. 

Except the black hair. They all had black hair. Oh and they all looked at Aria like she was the light of their lives. What kind of relationship did she share with them? You heard her address 3 different people as her father already. What about the rest of them? The craziest thought went through your head but no way. They couldn’t all be…. 

“Let me clear the confusion, this is not new to us.” The man who was pacing around stops his tracks before you, chuckling. “Yes all of us are her fathers and no, we are not gay.” He looks around the room. “All of us just raise her together.” 

“Oh.” You blink, absolutely stumped. No wonder she asked how many parents? This young girl had seven. “That’s….uh wow, that’s really unexpected.” 

“We get that a lot.” He nods, holding out his hand, dimples denting his cheeks as he smiled. “Kim Namjoon.” 

“Y/n.” 

“Pleasure.” This is where Aria got her eloquence from. “Thank you for helping out our daughter. We’ve all been taking turns running around finding her for the last 15 minutes.”

“Thank god she’s here and fine.” Who spoke? The man leaning against the wall? “I don’t have the energy to run after her again.”

“You didn’t even run after her once.” Jin argues. 

“I’m still tired.” He sighs, sinking further into the wall. “How many days have we been here for? Does making babies always take this long?”

“The timing for making babies is subjective if you ask me.”

Hoseok smacks the knee of the man near him. “Shut up Park Jimin.”

“Four hours.” Jin shakes his head in response. “We’ve been here for four hours and don’t make it sound like that Taehyung-ah. It's a human coming out from another human, not instant rice you put in a microwave. Of course it’s going to take long.” 

“I know but this wait,” Taehyung groans, looking almost dead on the inside. “It's exhausting.”

“Imagine how it must be for her.” Hoseok interjects looking towards the room. “You can’t handle 4 hours, she’s been dealing with this for nine months.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” Sighing Taehyung shut his eyes. “I haven’t eaten anything since last night, I’ve been seeing stars all day.”

“Sit down hyung.” Jungkook walks over grabbing Taehyung by the arm, dragging him like he was nothing. Strongest amongst them all indeed. “Jimin hyung, scoot to the right please.” And then he plops the Taehyung right in between Jin and Jimin, was it?  

“Why don’t you just eat something hyung?” Jungkook looks over at him pitifully.

“Taetae is doing his detox week for his blog,” Aria eagerly answers. “He only drinks juice for seven days.”

“Right you are sweetie.” Taehyung shoots Aria a tired smile. “Your bunny asks me the same thing every month and I tell him the same thing every month as well.” 

“A two year old remembers things better than you JK.” Hoseok laughs. 

“For the last time.” Jimin shakes his head. “She’s five, she was two when we had her, she’s five now.” 

“Wow, she’s growing up so fast.” Hoseok realizes softly. “Has it really been three years?” 

“Feels like it's been 80 years.” You flinch ever so slightly finding the pale man walking past you to Aria, pulling her cheeks. “This tiny thing behaves like she’s 95 after all.”

“Don’t pull her cheeks Yoongi.” Jin warns him, peaking with one eye open, trying not to laugh. “Halmeoni’s teeth might drop.” 

Aria shakes her head glancing over at the door everyone was waiting before, talking to it. “I feel bad for you, whoever is in there, you are about to be part of one crazy, bullying family.” 

As six of her fathers erupt in fierce arguments, Yoongi updates you. “We are adopting again.” He softly pats the head of his daughter who was playfully squabbling with the other men. “We felt like she needs company growing up so in there,” He points with the jerk of his head. “That’s the new installment coming into this, as Aria said, crazy family.” 

You let out a small wow amazed. You didn’t know about crazy but from whatever little you had seen there was undoubtedly a lot of love. Not just for their daughter but between the seven men as well. The fact that they were willing to all raise not one child but two together? That baby in there was a lucky one. 

“But remember what I said?” Taehyung leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Your teeth will start falling cause you’re becoming a big girl, you’re six years old already-”

“Five.”

“-but that’s nothing to be scared of right? When teeth fall remember who I said comes to visit?”

“The tooth fairy.” Jimin answers instead. 

“The tooth fairy?” Aria crosses her arms. “Will she be the same skinny Santa who came last year?” She back at Yoongi who avoids her eyes very consciously. 

“He had one job.” Taehyung mutters. “I have no idea why he didn’t wear the fake belly, I should have just done it myself like always.”

“He was on a diet plan because of Mrs. Santa.” Yoongi sneers, clearly defending himself.

“More like he was malnourished.” She shoots back. 

Yoongi incredulously looked at Jimin . “Why the f-frick does she even know that word, she’s barely 2!”

“She’s 5! And don’t look at me ask him,” He points at Namjooon. “He’s the one who teaches her all these gigantic words. The other day she said I was too meticulous. I myself don’t know what that means.”

“Its your fault,” Namjoon defends himself, looking at Yoongi. “She gets this habit of talking back from you a d like you weren’t enough, now we have two savages in the house.”

“That’s true,” Hoseok shakes his head. “She’s been serving some serious burns these days.”

“She’s practically an arsonist.” Namjoon added. 

“Stop using such big words in front of her!” Yoongi explodes causing everyone to burst out laughing. 

Aria shakes her head, talking not so softly to herself. “The kind of thins I have to deal with in this house.” You snicker to yourself, hearing her. “I don’t know why they named me Ariel, this is clearly a Snow White and the seven dwarfs situation.” 

“Say what?” Jimin who also seems to have heard it, narrows his eyes at Aria from all the way across her. 

“I was just saying how much I love Snow White.” She shrugs simply.  

“But you hate Snow White.”

“Yeah I do,” She confesses, unable to keep the act. “She did practically nothing but clean some random people’s house and sleep in a glass coffin.”

“Better than Arora right?” Namjoon scoffs. “The woman spent the whole movie sleeping.”

Aria waves her hand dramatically. “Don’t even get me started about her.”

Hoseok sighs. “You’ve ruined fairy tales for her Namjoon-ah.” 

“And me.” Taehyung raises his hand. “I can’t go through one movie with her without having to hear about how we need stronger heroines who stand up for themselves-.” 

“Tae, I swear she comes up with all this stuff herself-” 

“-all she wants to watch is Frozen and Tangled and Brave and all that 21st century abomination, she has no respect for the classics.” 

“Abomination is not a word sweetie.” Yoongi explains to Aria, extremely serious. “Don’t go around using it, you’re just 2 years old.”

“FIVE.” Jimin rolls his eyes. 

“You can watch Beauty and the Beast with her Tae,” Jin plays the middle man. “Strong female lead and it’s a classic, there, problem solved.” He does a sweep with his hand before dropping it back onto his thighs. “Though I must say, I’m very disappointed that Belle owns nothing pink.” 

“She has one pink outfit.” Aria quips, lifting a finger. “That she wears in the snow and plays with the beast.” 

“And the birds.” Taehyung supports her turning to a surprised Jin. “We’ve seen this movie exactly 514 times till date, what do you expect?”

“514?” Yoongi sounds shocked. “ You let her watch the television for so long? What’s going to happen to her eyes?? 514 means watching that movie everyday for all the 2 years she’s been alive so far-”

“Oh my god.” Jimin shakes his head. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

“Alright, enough you guys.” Hoseok looks around at them. “Let’s respect the place, shall we? We can do all this at home where no one will stop-”

Taehyung’s stomach interrupts with the loudest rumble, making everyone turn to him slowly.  

“Okay that’s it, you really need food.” Yoongi steps up. “Anyone want anything else? I should make a trip to the canteen.”

“Don’t take me along please.” Aria steps back, shooting Hoseok a traumatized look. “I don’t want to get lost again.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Yoongi picks her up with one hand around her small waist earning an eruption of voices asking him to be careful, trying to stop him, Jungkook almost walking up to him, annoyed. And then there’s the creak of the door and everyone shuts up in an instant, pin drop silence filling the corridor. 

A lady in her scrubs steps out, pulling her face mask down to her chin with a smile. 

“Congratulations,” You can hear the men around you very audibly gulp. “You’ve just had healthy twins.” 

[makeroomforthejolyghost]

ok well i originally drafted this while thinking about this post, but it’s relevant to what i wanted to say about (my tags on) this one too so i’ll just post it now, how ‘bout that.

i mean, Getting Used to It (and thus expanding your definition of “i’m fine”) isn’t always as dramatic as your brain completely turning off its pain response to an event, so that you don’t realize you’ve injured yourself until some other clue tips you off. that’s certainly happened to me? (and w/ smaller injuries it happens to healthy people too, as when you cut yourself on paper without noticing, and it doesn’t start to hurt until you see it bleed.) but the more everyday/pedestrian forms of this phenomenon are, like. that the level of pain i rated as an 8 in 2016 now reads to me as, like, 5. and that when you’re depressed (or at least when i am), pain goes up but interest in that pain goes down, because of depression’s tendency to normalize negative stimuli.

i think these are two manifestations of the same thing: your brain removes fear from the equation, and since fear makes pain more intense, most pain experienced in fear’s absence seems like no big deal. and that goes double for painful stimuli you once associated with fear but no longer do? in a sorta feedback-loopy way. or at least it does for me. less fear-->less pain-->even less fear the next time something similar happens.

if i sit in nearly any given position too long, one or more of the joints in my legs will sometimes... well, i think subluxate is technically the right word?* but it’s not like a sudden pop: it’s like, as the muscles around them relax my joints slowly slide out of place. as you can imagine (given the low bar required to achieve it), this happens A Lot; i don’t keep track, but probably once a day on average? i know it’s not every day, but also that some days it happens many times, and that both these latter and the days when it doesn’t happen at all often strike me as a change from the norm. so, yeah, probably a mean of once per day. but until sometime in 2019, it used to freak me out—a lot—every time.

it’s often one of those above-mentioned doesn’t hurt until you notice for other reasons scenarios, too, like the paper cut. so i’d be like innocently sitting there, then look down or attempt to adjust position and suddenly OH GOD MY LEG(S). and every time it happened i’d think, “oh god, is this the time i really and truly get stuck and have to be scooped out of this position on a stretcher. fuck, please, no, that would be so humiliating, there’s no way the paramedics would believe me, strangers must not see me like this,” &c., and the more determined i got to prove to myself that i could move, that i wasn’t stuck, that i could get myself out of this, the more horrifically painful these attempts became—partly because fear of pain leads to greater pain, and partly because when you’re panicky you don’t tend to move with much patience or care.

but, of course, every time i would eventually get out of it. it’s hard to say how long it took, because, again, i never timed it, and also because time does weird shit when you’re freaking out. (plus i have adhd, so my estimates of how long things take aren’t the greatest to begin with.) i want to say though that the longest i ever took unpretzeling myself in this way was an hour and a half—and i usually took way less time than that. (it’s hard also to estimate because these days exceeding ten minutes marks an especially long battle of this kind.) iirc, the ~90-minute incident was like, my right hip already felt not quite right, and someone on the internet recommended W-sitting as a way to reduce a subluxed hip, and i tried it because i either didn’t know at that time or had forgotten that when i W-sit for more than a few seconds i often misplace several toes, up to two joints per knee, maybe an ankle, and/or at least one hip. some of these will reduce themselves automatically as soon as i move; others i can only move passively until after i’ve reduced them. so like, that endeavor was a fucking jigsaw puzzle, and good luck figuring those out when a. every wrong move doubles the pain and panic you’re in, but b. leaving the puzzle unfinished is also agonizing. most of the time it was not that bad.

…what was my point? oh yeah: this sat-wrong-now-my-leg’s-stuck business still happens a lot, and it’s n o t like sitting on a pen, where your brain eventually gives up on signaling your discomfort.** nor like when you’re running on adrenaline and your brain doesn’t bother to tell you you’re hungry. nor like what tumblr user bibliosphere described, where her brain evidently just… prioritized other tasks over the “hey please fix this leg” alarm that pain would have signified. but incidents like this do, literally, hurt less the tenth time they happen than they do the first time, and it’s not because your body Toughens Up or whatever either (that only works w/ exercise-related muscle pain); it’s because your brain learns that this event does not pose imminent danger. a subluxation you know how to reduce will hurt less than one you don’t.

that’s what the “i’m always subluxing” version of the hulk meme means. most chronically ill people describe this whole phenomenon as more like the argument from “shot in the knee theory.” as like, you stop screaming because you learn screaming doesn’t help. and i mean… yeah? but ime it’s more that you stop screaming*** when you learn what does help. the OP in that post asks rhetorically,

Are you going to scream and cry the entire time, or are you going to come to grips with reality and accept the fact that freaking out isn’t going to make the ambulance come any faster?

and jesus christ, OP, are you kidding? in real life? definitely the first one! if you literally got shot in the knee, you wouldn’t just scream because it hurt—you would scream also because holy shit, am i gonna die of blood loss? why did they shoot me? are they going to shoot me again??? and pain you’ve had for years, or an injury you’ve sustained many times before, is nothing like that. if it scares you at all, the content of your fear is more like, oh, crap. what’s this gonna feel like tomorrow. will i have to cancel my plans again?

*n.b. i’ve never had this confirmed by a doctor. i just assume that’s what’s happening because 1. the sensations’ non-pain components are very similar to what the subluxations i have had confirmed feel like; 2. if it’s a joint i can see from my position (e.g., the ankle pressed against the floor when criss-cross-applesauced), it usually looks a little fucked up; and 3. it behaves quite differently from regular stiffness, joints in this scenario feeling not so much too tight to move properly as like i keep aiming for and missing the lever that moves them. (and each failed attempt HURTS like my soft tissues are pumpkin guts and my bones are knives trying to scoop them out.)

**i’ve never actually tried this experiment, though, and i’ve heard it doesn’t work on some autistic people. hopefully this goes without saying lmao but my sensory perceptions are Weird in General, so, any hypotheses i build upon them should be salted liberally

***well, whimpering, anyway. for me at least, if i literally scream at an injury it’s not from the pain, it’s from the surprise. i’m more likely to scream when i stub my toe than when i try to bite and my jaw crunches sideways, because the latter is a possibility i sign up for every time i put food in my mouth, whereas like. ob…viously you wouldn’t have stubbed your toe if you’d already known the object you accidentally kicked was there. (except i guess in movies when people kick objects to express rage, forgetting that this will hurt them. in that case i suppose they scream partly from surprise and partly because negative stimuli encountered in “fight” mode reinforce preexisting anger. wow i digress lmao sorry.) but reactions like whimpering, clenching your teeth, &c. only partly come from surprise; they’re also stims, i think, tho clearly not ones unique to ND people. the woman who pierced my ears when i was a kid told me to focus on tapping first one foot and then the other, so i wouldn’t shrink away. i think it’s kinda like that: it releases nervous energy, gives you a competing stimulus to focus on.

[hanwanxia-blog]

the little match girl (texts)

Original text:

Den lille Pige med Svovlstikkerne (Hans Christian Andersen, 1845)

Det var saa grueligt koldt; det sneede og det begyndte at blive mørk Aften; det var ogsaa den sidste Aften i Aaret, Nytaarsaften. I denne Kulde og i dette Mørke gik paa Gaden en lille, fattig Pige med bart Hoved og nøgne Fødder; ja hun havde jo rigtignok havt Tøfler paa, da hun kom hjemme fra; men hvad kunde det hjælpe! det var meget store Tøfler, hendes Moder havde sidst brugt dem, saa store vare de, og dem tabte den Lille, da hun skyndte sig over Gaden, i det to Vogne foer saa grueligt stærkt forbi; den ene Tøffel var ikke at finde og den anden løb en Dreng med; han sagde, at den kunde han bruge til Vugge, naar han selv fik Børn. Der gik nu den lille Pige paa de nøgne smaa Fødder, der vare røde og blaa af Kulde; i et gammelt Forklæde holdt hun en Mængde Svovlstikker og eet Bundt gik hun med i Haanden; Ingen havde den hele Dag kjøbt af hende; Ingen havde givet hende en lille Skilling; sulten og forfrossen gik hun og saae saa forkuet ud, den lille Stakkel! Sneefnokkene faldt i hendes lange gule Haar, der krøllede saa smukt om Nakken, men den Stads tænkte hun rigtignok ikke paa.

Ud fra alle Vinduer skinnede Lysene og saa lugtede der i Gaden saa deiligt af Gaasesteg; det var jo Nytaarsaften, ja det tænkte hun paa. Henne i en Krog mellem to Huse, det ene gik lidt mere frem i Gaden end det andet, der satte hun sig og krøb sammen; de smaa Been havde hun trukket op under sig, men hun frøs endnu mere og hiem turde hun ikke gaae, hun havde jo ingen Svovlstikker solgt, ikke faaet en eneste Skilling, hendes Fader vilde slaae hende og koldt var der ogsaa hjemme, de havde kun Taget lige over dem og der peeb Vinden ind, skjøndt der var stoppet Straa og Klude i de største Sprækker. Hendes smaa Hænder vare næsten ganske døde af Kulde. Ak! en lille Svovlstikke kunde gjøre godt. Turde hun bare trække een ud af Bundtet, stryge den mod Væggen og varme Fingrene. Hun trak een ud, “ritsch!” hvor spruddede den, hvor brændte den! det var en varm, klar Lue, ligesom et lille Lys, da hun holdt Haanden om den; det var et underligt Lys! Den lille Pige syntes hun sad foran en stor Jernkakkelovn med blanke Messingkugler og Messingtromle; Ilden brændte saa velsignet, varmede saa godt! nei, hvad var det! — Den Lille strakte allerede Fødderne ud for ogsaa at varme disse, – – da slukkedes Flammen, Kakkelovnen forsvandt, — hun sad med en lille Stump af den udbrændte Svovlstikke i Haanden.

En ny blev strøget, den brændte, den lyste, og hvor Skinnet faldt paa Muren, blev denne gjennemsigtig, som et Flor; hun saae lige ind i Stuen, hvor Bordet stod dækket med en skinnende hvid Dug, med fiint Porcellain, og deiligt dampede den stegte Gaas, fyldt med Svedsker og Æbler! og hvad der endnu var prægtigere, Gaasen sprang fra Fadet, vraltede hen af Gulvet med Gaffel og Kniv i Ryggen; lige hen til den fattige Pige kom den; da slukkedes Svovlstikken og der var kun den tykke, kolde Muur at see.

Hun tændte en ny. Da sad hun under det deiligste Juletræ; det var endnu større og mere pyntet, end det hun gjennem Glasdøren havde seet hos den rige Kiøbmand, nu sidste Juul; tusinde Lys brændte paa de grønne Grene og brogede Billeder, som de der pynte Boutikvinduerne, saae ned til hende. Den Lille strakte begge Hænder i Veiret — da slukkedes Svovlstikken; de mange Julelys gik høiere og høiere, hun saae de vare nu de klare Stjerner, een af dem faldt og gjorde en lang Ildstribe paa Himlen.

“Nu døer der Een!” sagde den Lille, for gamle Mormoer, som var den eneste, der havde været god mod hende, men nu var død, havde sagt: naar en Stjerne falder, gaaer der en Sjæl op til Gud.

Hun strøg igjen mod Muren en Svovlstikke, den lyste rundt om, og i Glandsen stod den gamle Mormoer, saa klar, saa skinnende, saa mild og velsignet. “Mormoer!” raabte den Lille, “O tag mig med! jeg veed, Du er borte, naar Svovlstikken gaaer ud; borte ligesom den varme Kakkelovn, den deilige Gaasesteg og det store velsignede Juletræ!” — og hun strøg ihast den hele Rest Svovlstikker, der var i Bundtet, hun vilde ret holde paa Mormoer; og Svovlstikkerne lyste med en saadan Glands, at det var klarere end ved den lyse Dag. Mormoer havde aldrig før været saa smuk, saa stor; hun løftede den lille Pige op paa sin Arm, og de fløi i Glands og Glæde, saa høit, saa høit; og der var ingen Kulde, ingen Hunger, ingen Angst, — de vare hos Gud!

Men i Krogen ved Huset sad i den kolde Morgenstund den lille Pige med røde Kinder, med Smiil om Munden — død, frosset ihjel den sidste Aften i det gamle Aar. Nytaarsmorgen gik op over det lille Liig, der sad med Svovlstikkerne, hvoraf et Knippe var næsten brændt. Hun har villet varme sig! sagde man; Ingen vidste, hvad smukt hun havde seet, i hvilken Glands hun med gamle Mormoer var gaaet ind til Nytaars Glæde!

source: https://da.wikisource.org/wiki/Den_lille_Pige_med_Svovlstikkerne

English Translation:

Obs.: I still haven’t found the name of the translator of this version :(

The Little Match Girl

Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening-- the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast. One slipper was nowhere to be found; the other had been laid hold of by an urchin, and off he ran with it; he thought it would do capitally for a cradle when he some day or other should have children himself. So the little maiden walked on with her tiny naked feet, that were quite red and blue from cold. She carried a quantity of matches in an old apron, and she held a bundle of them in her hand. Nobody had bought anything of her the whole livelong day; no one had given her a single farthing. She crept along trembling with cold and hunger--a very picture of sorrow, the poor little thing! The flakes of snow covered her long fair hair, which fell in beautiful curls around her neck; but of that, of course, she never once now thought. From all the windows the candles were gleaming, and it smelt so deliciously of roast goose, for you know it was New Year's Eve; yes, of that she thought. In a corner formed by two houses, of which one advanced more than the other, she seated herself down and cowered together. Her little feet she had drawn close up to her, but she grew colder and colder, and to go home she did not venture, for she had not sold any matches and could not bring a farthing of money: from her father she would certainly get blows, and at home it was cold too, for above her she had only the roof, through which the wind whistled, even though the largest cracks were stopped up with straw and rags. Her little hands were almost numbed with cold. Oh! a match might afford her a world of comfort, if she only dared take a single one out of the bundle, draw it against the wall, and warm her fingers by it. She drew one out. "Rischt!" how it blazed, how it burnt! It was a warm, bright flame, like a candle, as she held her hands over it: it was a wonderful light. It seemed really to the little maiden as though she were sitting before a large iron stove, with burnished brass feet and a brass ornament at top. The fire burned with such blessed influence; it warmed so delightfully. The little girl had already stretched out her feet to warm them too; but--the small flame went out, the stove vanished: she had only the remains of the burnt-out match in her hand. She rubbed another against the wall: it burned brightly, and where the light fell on the wall, there the wall became transparent like a veil, so that she could see into the room. On the table was spread a snow-white tablecloth; upon it was a splendid porcelain service, and the roast goose was steaming famously with its stuffing of apple and dried plums. And what was still more capital to behold was, the goose hopped down from the dish, reeled about on the floor with knife and fork in its breast, till it came up to the poor little girl; when--the match went out and nothing but the thick, cold, damp wall was left behind. She lighted another match. Now there she was sitting under the most magnificent Christmas tree: it was still larger, and more decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door in the rich merchant's house. Thousands of lights were burning on the green branches, and gaily-colored pictures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down upon her. The little maiden stretched out her hands towards them when--the match went out. The lights of the Christmas tree rose higher and higher, she saw them now as stars in heaven; one fell down and formed a long trail of fire. "Someone is just dead!" said the little girl; for her old grandmother, the only person who had loved her, and who was now no more, had told her, that when a star falls, a soul ascends to God. She drew another match against the wall: it was again light, and in the lustre there stood the old grandmother, so bright and radiant, so mild, and with such an expression of love. "Grandmother!" cried the little one. "Oh, take me with you! You go away when the match burns out; you vanish like the warm stove, like the delicious roast goose, and like the magnificent Christmas tree!" And she rubbed the whole bundle of matches quickly against the wall, for she wanted to be quite sure of keeping her grandmother near her. And the matches gave such a brilliant light that it was brighter than at noon-day: never formerly had the grandmother been so beautiful and so tall. She took the little maiden, on her arm, and both flew in brightness and in joy so high, so very high, and then above was neither cold, nor hunger, nor anxiety--they were with God. But in the corner, at the cold hour of dawn, sat the poor girl, with rosy cheeks and with a smiling mouth, leaning against the wall--frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. Stiff and stark sat the child there with her matches, of which one bundle had been burnt. "She wanted to warm herself," people said. No one had the slightest suspicion of what beautiful things she had seen; no one even dreamed of the splendor in which, with her grandmother she had entered on the joys of a new year.

source: https://www.online-literature.com/hans_christian_andersen/981/

[pastelopossum]

OP has a lot to say about transwomen that isn’t so nice, so let’s try this again!

HOMOPHOBES INCLUDE:

Ben, who emphasizes when asking “How do you view lesbian and gay relationships” in That Tone TM. He calls things gay if they’re too colorful, and as a put down.

Breanna, who ships and fetishized her cute gay #itscalledyaoi ships but won’t be friends with lesbians because she’s afraid they’ll hit on her. She wants a Token #GayBestFriend like “cool” girls in tv shows.

Marissa, who will kiss girls when she feels lonely to make her boyfriend pay attention to her because “it’s sexy”.

Josh, who thinks lesbians are “hot” in porn but doesn’t actually think they’re real or should have rights or get married; actually no woman should have rights so he gets a misogynistic award too!

Bethany, who drinks in lesbian bars and makes advances on couples to film when she gets a threesome and sends it to her boyfriend. She also likes to send nude snapchats of herself to the other lesbians and bisexuals from work to prove she’s sexy. She doesn’t use labels like “single” or “taken” or “straight” or “gay” so no one else should when it’s convenient for her self esteem issues.

Christopher says lesbians are just girls who don’t think they’re worthy of a guy and just need to work on their issues because they’ll find a good man when they “stop acting so gay”. He likes to stalk his first dates for a few weeks before he decides they “aren’t worth the trouble” and hovers over the next girl.

Michelles step-daughter came out before she went off to college and insists she only stop by for short visits on the holidays so the rest of her conservative family doesn’t find out yet. Down the line when they do, she’ll say nothing when her family members are rude to her step-daughters girlfriend and calls it “a scene” when her husband defends his daughter. When her son comes out a year later, she’ll break into tears and do everything in her power to prevent him from seeing his boyfriend.

David thinks domestic partnership and “straight marriage” are the same. As an EMT he has refused boyfriends/girlfriends to ride in the ambulance because they’re not really family. Gay marriage is against god.

James calls his son a lady killer at the ripe age of two months. He says he’s not a homophobe because “I have family who’s gay”. He just “doesn’t understand it” and never wants to talk about it. “It’s kind of gross when you really think about it.” He says “no homo” a lot.

Lisa has tattoos of bible quotes against sins and sinners. They’re on her Facebook and Instagram. Being gay is against god. She’s on her third marriage - the first two fell apart because she cheated; but it’s okay because she wound up marrying the guy she cheated with. She tells her church to pray for her gay brother.

Selina had gay friends in high school. She was an “ally” in a LGBT group in high school that was 90% straight, cis, white boys and girls. She thinks she knows everything there is to be gay, bi, and trans because she’s had friends of each and has helped stood up for them in school. She also voted republican, and refuses to talk to her family because her brother is trans and her mother who has been single for 20 years has realized she’s gay. She won’t talk to any of her former high school “friends” because she “is tired of the drama, they said I was a bad friend” because she never actually went to any events or helped stand up for them. She admits later she knows it looks good on her college application and believes “everyone’s soooo obsessed with diversity”.

Karen found out one of her daughters friends is gay and anytime she came over, she would send her home early from parties and sleepovers and lie to her parents about her misbehavior and rudeness so she would supposedly get in trouble. She has bible quotes on her daughters wall and crosses everywhere.

Franks daughter has been struggling with money and has moved back in, but when she can’t hide her secret anymore because it makes her feel guilty and she comes out to him, she’s kicked out and isn’t able to talk to him about anything; their relationship down the line is never the same.

Justin says he doesn’t hate gays, but anytime one of his friends does anything not manly enough he’ll throw “fag” at them. Tranny isn’t a slur, nor is pussyboy; and only gay guys show any form of emotion.

Charlie refuses to call one of his childhood friends by their new name and pronouns because they haven’t “really transistioned”. You can’t really be trans* if you don’t change your voice, bind, and have an operation.

Dillan supposedly is a good alley. In one of his friend groups he and his best friend are the only two straight people. He also thinks pride is a bit ridiculous, gays being able to get married now is totally equal to the “straight marriage” despite what his friends say, and doesn’t fully recognize different sexualities of the couples because “does it matter if she’s bi if she’s dating a guy?” And “does it matter if you’re pan if you’re dating another girl”? He also believes lesbians will always be virgins because “real sex is a penis penetrating a vagina”.

Danny refuses to recognize any non-straight non-cis characters in tv shows or in rpg games with his friends. When he stopped being invited , he argued he was totally okay with “all that gay agenda stuff” but didn’t understand why it needed to be talked about all the time or why his friends wanted to play gay or trans characters.

Melissa wants to upset her parents, so when she finds out the person she’s been flirting back and forth with is “not just a lesbian, but a trans guy too!” they start to date so her parents can be disappointed in the fact the “boyfriend” she’s talked about is “really a girl” and panic when they find out. When they break up, she sends her friends to send equally hateful transphobic, biphobic, and homophobic slurs via voicemail and text message.

[traceyaudette]

Small Hearts, Big Heartaches

Requested by @homicidalteenagedream Can you do an Opie & Reader where they are friends with benefits. She ends up leaving Charming, after having a huge fight, but before she could even get out of charming she is in a bad car wreck. The doctors don't know if she will survive, it’s revealed that she’s been hiding that she’s 27 weeks pregnant. 

Trigger Warning: Language, premature birth, severe injury from car accident. ANGST! 

I ran my hands through my hair, my nerves a mess. “So, you don’t think we’ll be anything more then fuck buddies?”

Opie let out a frustrated growl. “I don’t see why you want to change things, we are fine just being friends with benefits.” He reached over trying to pull me on his lap.

“You know, I’m just a step up from a fucking croweater.” I could feel my emotions just at the edge of losing control. I had to hold on, I couldn’t let him see, how much he was affecting me.

“How can you say that, I treat you right....” He tried to pull me against him.

“The only difference is, I don’t have to sleep with your “brothers” too, and I get the luxury of getting fucked in my bed or yours.” I knew nothing would ever change, that I was nothing more then an another easy lay for him.  I was one that had been passed around among the club.

“What the hell is your problem? Why are you such a moody bitch suddenly? You agreed to this relationship, why do you want to change it now?”

“Because I thought after two years, you’d have some sort of feelings for me...I guess I was wrong.” I wiped the tears away from my eyes. “Bye Opie....it’s been real.”

XXX

I slammed out of his house, going to my packed jeep. Things didn’t go like I’d hoped, I rubbed my stomach gently. It was okay, I could take care of myself, and whoever else came along.  Pulling out of the drive, my plans were to leave  for Texas, I had family down there.

I had several last minute errands to run before I left town. Go to the bank, stop and tell Gemma bye, and get some road trip snacks. I finished at the bank, stopped at the store, filled my cooler with drinks and bought some snacks.

Now for the hard part, saying good-bye to Gemma, and convince her I was only leaving for a few weeks; instead of never coming back. That women was a human lie detector, maybe if I left my sunglasses on, I could hide it .

I slowed down to make my turn into the TM parking lot, for whatever reason, the car behind me didn’t see me stop. I was hit from behind, the back glass shattered.

I was shoved into oncoming traffic where I was hit head on, metal hitting metal echoed off the buildings. The sounds of horns blaring, and tires screeching could be heard, more glass shattering. 

I’m not even sure what sounds I heard first or last, they were all blurs. The sounds brought people out of their businesses, to investigate. Including everyone at TM. 

Gemma was the first to recognize the mangled jeep that belonged to (Y/N). She was on the phone calling 9-11, she was yelling for someone to call Opie, and to close the garage once they towed the mess off the street. 

XXX

Opie rushed into the doors of St. Thomas, to the ER, stopping at the nurses station. “I’m Opie Winston, I was called about (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)!”

“Are you family Mr. Winston?” The secretary looked at him  waiting for an answer. Opie felt like the whole world was crashing in on him, they’s just had a fight about this not more then a hour ago.

He paused looking at the women. “I’m her fiancee....please tell me...”

“She’s been taken up stairs to the OB ICU.” He rushed up stairs, not really realizing what the women had said. When he burst through the doors, he found the rest of his family there waiting for him.

“What happened?” He went to Gemma, he knew she would have all the answers.

“A drunk driver slammed into the back of her, she was pulling into the lot.” Gemma exhaled. “Did you know she was leaving?”

He ran his hands through his hair, remembering her parting words. “We had a fight this morning...”

The doors opened and two doctors walked through. “(Y/N)(Y/L/N)!”

Opie stood up. “I’m her fiancee.”

“Can you come with us.” The looks on their faces were serious.

“This is her family. Whatever it is, can be discussed in front if them.”

“I’m Dr. Kiem, I’m a Neonatiolgist, and this is Dr. Paul the Obstetrician. Dr. O’Donnell and Dr. Mitchell are the Neurologist and General Surgeon on the team, they’ll be out in a few seconds.”

The two other doctors joined the group, sitting down. Dr. Paul started the conversation. “There’s no easy way to say this, I’ve had Dr. O’Donnell and Dr. Mitchell running tests, and they both concur, that they don’t think (Y/N) is going to survive her injuries.”

Gemma gasped somewhere in the room. Opie stared at the doctor, in shock. “Why are you consulting on the case?”

“Your fiancee is twenty-seven weeks pregnant, we can deliver your daughter by c-section. Dr. Kiem will be taking her case, the second she’s out. There’s no reason your daughter can’t survive this.”

Opie was in utter shock, why didn’t (Y/N) tell him she was pregnant. “How soon do you need to know?”

“The sooner the better.” Dr. O’Donnell replied. “As soon as the baby is out, and (Y/N) has some recovery time; we can better asses her condition. We didn’t want to stress the baby.”

“Just give me a few minutes.” He watched the doctors leave. He got up and started to pace. This was all his fault, he could loose his daughter, and he was probably going to loose (Y/N); because he was a giant ass!

He walked over to the doors the doctor’s had walked through, he couldn’t loose them both.

XXX

Kayleigh Rae Winston was born at two pm, she weighed in at almost three pounds and was fifteenth inches long. She was the most precious and beautiful creature Opie had ever seen.

Once she was settled in the NICU, Opie sat his giant frame next the incubator that held his tiny daughter. He gazed at her, with loving eyes. “Hey pretty girl, I just learned about you today. I hope you like your name, I don’t know if you and mommy already had something else picked out.” He wiped his tears away. “I chose the name Kayleigh because it means warrior, and Rae because it means grace. You’re going to have to fight pretty girl, know that mommy and I love you. You’ve got an older sister Ellie and an older brother Kenny, that will look out for you and love you. Not to mention a whole room full of uncles. I need to go check on mommy now, you hold on sweet girl. I love you.” He kissed his hand, and placed it on top of the incubator.

He got up to head down to  recovery. He stared at her battered and bruised body. The doctors weren’t being very promising for her recovery. He say down next to her raking her hand.

“When I lost Donna, I swore to myself I was never going to put myself in that situation again. Then I met you, we became friends, and then we took that up a level. That terrified me because I could feel myself falling for you.” He had to stop and rein himself in. 

“I love you, I think I have for a while, I was just too stupid and scared to admit it. (Y/N), you have to fight to come back to us. Our daughter is a little fighter, I named her Kayleigh Rae, she’s so beautiful.”

He had to stop again, he couldn’t take the thought of loosing her. “You have to give some sign, that your still with us. Prove those docs wrong!” He leaned over kissing her forehead.

He raised up, the vital alarms started to sound, nurses and doctors come running in. He was shoved out of the room, and a code blue was called for the room, his six foot four body slide to the floor.

Then there was a code blue called in the NICU, he rolled to his feet and took off running, Looking through the window, he let out a scream as they watched a team of doctors and nurses working on Kayleigh.

He was loosing his whole world all at once.

XXX

Opie put the one candle in the birthday cake, he picked it up carrying out to the back patio. Placing the cake on the table, he watched as his brothers and families played in the back yard, he let out a sigh, thinking about the last year. 

His eyes scanned the yard, finding Ellie and Kenny, walking over to them, he smiled as he approached the swing set. “Dada!” He heard the little giggle, and saw Kayleigh in the swing.

He picked her up, cradling her close to him, kissing her face. “Hey baby girl! Daddy loves you! Happy birthday!”

Mamamamamama!” He saw Kayleigh pointing over his shoulder, and giggling and waving.

Opie smiled. “That is mamma, you want to go see her.” He walked  towards the patio. Walking up to his wife, he wrapped his arm around (Y/N)’s waist. “I love you. Someone wanted to say hi!”

She reached up taking the little girl. “I love you too Ope. Happy birthday sweet girl.”

THE END 

@lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1 @fortheloveofthesoa@khyharah@redwoodog @chaosmieu @thegoodthebadandtheempty@jade770@realpowertwix @supernaturalanarchy  @lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa@khyharah @redwoodog @chaosmieu @thegoodthebadandtheempty@jade770 @realpowertwix @supernaturalanarchy  @mrsirishboru @lolsthecat @soafanficluvr1@fortheloveofthesoa@khyharah@samcrolivesforever @redwoodog @ineedthesons @jade770@realpowertwix @supernaturalanarchy @hauntedduckdefendor @cherieann2001@mwesterfeld1985@clairese1980 @small-townwaywarddaughter  @winchester-negan-one-shots@mrsirishboru @undeadprincess2005 @come-join-themurder@ouijaboardmystery @chaosmieu @girl-with-no-faith-in-medicine @ineedthesons @id-rather-be-high-and-fucked@charmingsrisingson  @readerinsertimagines  @sweetchaosturtle @im-gay-for-chibbs-juiceyandtiggy @jasonmccannsgirl8699

[winchesterprincessbride]

Political Animals-Part 10

This is an A/B/O AU.  You are the Omega artist daughter of Naomi Novak, a world-class heart surgeon who is running for Mayor of New York City.  After a meeting where your mother’s advisers call you a “liability”, she tells you that if you don’t do as your told she will cut you off.  You storm out and wind up in a bar a few blocks away.

The hottest Alpha you have EVER laid eyes on with a scent so mouthwatering you’re practically drooling offers to buy you a drink.  It’s just a drink, right? What do you have to lose? Only everything.

Characters: Omega! Reader, Beta! Naomi Novak, Alpha! Castiel Novak, Omega! Meg Novak, Claire Novak, Jimmy Novak, Alpha! Sam Winchester, Alpha! Dean Winchester, Alpha! John Winchester, Omega! Jo Harvelle

Big thanks to @moansmisha  for letting me use some of her ideas from this post.

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

Parts in bold are text messages

I looked at Sam in surprise. “I’m sure it’s……I can’t be……..wait, what?”

He took my hand and kissed the top of my head.  “I said, I think you’re pregnant. I remember my Dad saying he always knew when my Mom was carrying his pup because she smelled different.“

I tilted my head, considering him. “Different how?”

Sam walked over until he was standing right in front of me. With our height difference, the top of my head reached below his shoulder. He leaned in, his lips ghosting over my cheek.

I instinctively bared my neck to him in submission. He scented the column of my neck from my ear to my shoulder.

“Normally you smell like flowers with a hint of warm vanilla thrown in. Now there’s something else. Something that wasn’t there before.” He whispered, his low voice sending shivers down my spine.

“What?” I asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Something spicy. I can’t explain it.“ Sam admitted. “But whatever it is, it’s making me want to throw you on the floor and fuck you senseless.”

“So why don’t you?” I couldn’t resist asking.

Sam closed his eyes and turned, grimacing and wrinkling his nose as if he was in pain.

“Because we’re going to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test.”

Two hours and three pregnancy tests later we had our answer. I opened the bathroom door and mutely handed the sticks to Sam. He looked down at the two pink lines, the plus and the bold black “pregnant” and a huge smile lit his face.

“So we’re really doing this?” He asked, eyes searching my face.

“We’re doing this,” I confirmed, my voice shaking slightly.

He reached down and placed his hand on my stomach, his large palm covering most of my abdomen. “I can’t wait until your belly is big with my pup.”

A tear slipped down my cheek and Sam wiped it with his thumb. “Are you sure you are okay with this?” He asked softly. He sounded worried.

I gave a watery chuckle. “I am equal parts ecstatic and terrified, Sam. I am thrilled to be your Omega, but if the baby takes after you size-wise they may need a crowbar to get it out.”

We decided not to tell anyone until after my doctor’s appointment which I had scheduled for the next week. It was so hard not to call Cas and Meg and tell them immediately. Sam was chomping at the bit to tell his Dad and Dean.

I continued to throw up pretty much every day. I spent the morning of my doctor’s appointment puking my guts out.  Sam handed me a glass of water when I was done.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” He asked for at least the fourth time.

I shook my head.  “You’re due in court this morning, and nothing exciting happens at the first appointment anyway.  You can come to the next one.  I’ll be fine.”

“Call me if you need anything.” He told me.

I basically had to push him out the door.  “GO Sam!”

I had told Meg my Ob-gyn was retiring and she had recommended hers. I sighed with annoyance when the perky receptionist handed me a huge stack of new patient paperwork. When they took me back the first thing they did was draw some blood to measure my hormone levels.

The nurse escorted me to an exam room to get changed into a gown.  “Open in the front, and the doctor will be in.”

There was a knock at the door and the doctor and the nurse entered. She was a kindly looking Asian woman with a long braid and a ready smile. “Ms. Novak? I’m Dr. Chung. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You come highly recommended, Doctor,” I said, liking her immediately.

“So how have you been feeling, Y/N?”

I shook my head. “I throw up every morning. Sometimes more than once.” I confessed.

That will stop after the first trimester.  When was your last period?“ The doctor asked me, tapping some computer keys.

I thought back. That can’t be right.  “Let me check my phone.” I pulled up my calendar. And I counted……and I counted again. “Three months ago???” I looked up at Dr, Chung, surprised.

Your hormone levels are high, and your measuring big, so I’d like to have our ultrasound tech Karen take a peek if that’s okay with you?“

I nodded. The doctor stepped out and a smiley redhead came in and squirted some warm gel on my abdomen and took some measurements and printed some stuff off for the doctor. Dr. Chung came back in, smiling broadly.

"Just as I suspected.  Let me show you something.”

She squirted the gel on my belly again and rolled the wand around. “Here is your baby, Y/N. And here is your other baby. It’s twins. You’re measuring about twelve weeks so I would put your date of conception around three months ago, give or take.”

We talked about what I could expect with a twin pregnancy, and I left the office in a complete daze.  I didn’t want to disturb Sam when he was in court, so I decided to spend the afternoon in my studio.  Nothing soothed me more than a blank canvas and getting up to my elbows in paint.

The outside world ceased to exist for me as I became engrossed in the creative process.  The next time I looked at the clock several hours had passed.  My canvas was only half finished, but I was suddenly exhausted.  When I checked my phone I’d gotten a text from Sam.

Sam: How did your appointment go?

Y/N: I’ll tell you all about it when you get home. I need to take a nap :)

Sam: Go rest, Mommy

Y/N: Love you, Daddy

I laid down on Sam’s side of the bed and breathed the scent of him that lingered on his pillow.  I immediately relaxed and fell into a deep, restful sleep.  I didn’t stir again until I felt Sam’s arms around me and his lips against my hair. I stretched languidly,

Sam must have just gotten home from work.  He was still wearing his suit, but he had removed his jacket and loosened his tie.  His briefcase was thrown on the chair next to the bed.  He looked delectable.

“Sam, your home! What time is it?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“It’s after 6:00 Babe.  Court ran long and I missed the train. So how did you like the doctor?” He asked, starting to change while we talked. 

“I liked her a lot.  I think you will too.” I patted the bed next to me.  “Come sit down for a minute.  I need to tell you something.”

He stopped changing and looked at me.  “Is everything okay, Y/N?”’

I reached up and took his hand.  “Everything is fine.  More than fine, actually.  There is no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna say it.  We’re having twins, Sam.  I’m almost three months along.”

Sam said nothing for so long I began to get nervous.  Finally, I said, “Sam?  Are you okay?”

He looked up at me and I could see his eyes shiny with tears.  “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just trying to figure something out in my head.”

“What?” 

“If you are already three months along, that means you had to have conceived the night we met.”

I snorted. “Oh great! I can see it now, one of them will ask, Where did I come from? And we get to say, well now, THAT’S a story….”When Mommies and Daddies have drunk sex in bar bathrooms with people whose names they don’t even know……”

Sam grabbed me around the waist and started tickling me.  “You’re such a brat!

I shrieked with laughter and tried to pull away.  “But I’m YOUR brat.”

His eyes softened.  “Yes, you are.  I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Sam,”  I said before my smile suddenly faded.

“Is something wrong?” Sam questioned.

“It just hit me that I am going to have TWO Sam-sized babies in me at once! Forget the crowbar, I think I may need a backhoe!”

When we told Cas he hugged me so tight I thought my eyeballs would pop out. “My baby sister, having babies of her own,” he said in a choked voice.

Meg jumped up and hugged Sam, then me.  “I knew it! When you asked me about the ob-gyn I just had a feeling!”

“Feel free to use the name Castiel, I would be honored.” He teased me.

 “Even if they are girls?” I joked back.

“We haven’t talked about names but if one of them is a boy I would like to name it Charles after Dad,” I whispered.

Cas grinned at me. “Dad would have loved that.  So, not to rain on your parade, but are you gonna tell Mom?”

I shrugged. “You can tell her if you want, Cas.  But I have nothing to say to her, Cas.  We are done.  She’s made it clear she no longer wants to be a part of my life so she won’t be part of my children’s lives.”

When we told Sam’s family, John actually cried. “I just wish your mother was here.  She couldn’t wait to have grandchildren.  I am so happy for the two of you.”

Dean hugged his brother, and then me.  He leaned over and whispered in my ear.  “You are good for him.  I can’t remember ever seeing him this happy.”

Jo squealed with excitement and hugged us! “I love babies! When can we go shopping? Baby clothes are so cute! Dean and I will totally babysit for you guys.  Seriously.  Anytime.”

Dean coughed nervously. “Jo……JO! Relax! Take a breath!”

Sam grinned at his brother’s discomfort.  “Maybe it’s time for you and Jo to have one, dude.”

Dean glared at him. “Fuck off, Sam.”

I heard the mail drop through the slot so I walked over to the front door and gathered it up.  Sam subscribed to a number a law journals, so he got a lot of mail.  I gathered up the mail and sat at the breakfast bar sorting it into piles. There was a large manilla envelope with my name on it, and no return address.

That's strange, I thought to myself. I ripped open the envelope and tipped it over. Photos poured out. Pictures of me with Sam. Pictures of me at the gallery. There were even pictures of me coming out of Dr. Chung's office. Finally, a folded slip of paper fell out. I AM ALWAYS WATCHING was printed in block letters. 

 I shuddered involuntarily.  I scooped up everything, shoved in back into the envelope and threw it on the counter.  I planned on telling Sam about it later.  After dinner, Sam and I decided to catch up on House of Cards on Netflix.

I still hadn’t told him about the weird pictures. He’d had a stressful day already.  I’d tell him tomorrow.  In the middle of the second episode, Sam suddenly turned off the TV.

“I want to talk to you about something.” He said determinedly.

“Sure, what?”

“I was wondering......that is.....how do you feel about getting married?”

I just stared at him for a moment, not exactly sure where he was going with this. Finally, I spoke.  “To you specifically, or just getting married in general?”

“Marrying me, Y/N.  I’m asking if you’ll marry me.” He chuckled at my confusion.

“You’re my Alpha and I’m pregnant with your pups.  Of course, I’ll marry you, silly.” I replied, flinging my arms around his neck and kissing him.

Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out velvet jeweler’s box. He opened it to reveal a diamond engagement ring.  He slipped it on my finger and I squealed with delight.

Our celebrating was interrupted by a knock at the front door.  “Are you expecting anyone?” I asked Sam.  He shook his head no.

We walked over to the front door and opened it.  We were immediately blinded by the bright lights that were shined on us by at least 5 different TV cameras.  All these people were snapping pictures and calling my name like they knew me. 

They were pushing and shoving each other to get a better spot. The reporters were all shouting questions at me, and I froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Y/N! Y/N! Over here! Is it true that John Winchester’s son Sam is your Alpha and you are pregnant with his child?”

“Is it true that your mother has disowned you?” 

Y/N, do you care to comment on the rumor that you were seeing Sam behind your mother’s back?”

“Sam is it true that you got into an altercation at the Met gala with another Alpha over Y/N?”

Sam’s face grew dark with rage.  He pushed me back into the house.  “I am calling the police.  if you don’t get off my property you will be arrested,” He said before slamming the door.

He sent out a quick group text to John, Dean, Jo, Cas and Meg.  Press at our front door.  They know EVERYTHING.

He held me in his arms for a long time while I shook like a leaf and the tears started.  Finally, he scooped me up and carried me to bed, holding me tight until I cried myself to sleep.  Then our phones started ringing.  And they didn’t stop.

Part 11

@skybinx-blog @percywinchester27 @a-sea-of-fandoms @dorky-and-i-know-it@fangirl1802 @pinknerdpanda  @atc74  @moonlitskinwalker @we-are-band-sexuals@jayankles   @notnaturalanahi  @ariannalikescake @growningupgeek  @itsummertime22  @roseblood11   @demondeansdomme@cantchoosejustonefandom @ferferelli @midnightjazzmine @dr-dean@clairese1980 @moonstonemystyk @obsessedtmifangirl @bailieinabottle@mesomisha54 @agoodold-fashionedvillain @brewsthespirit-blog  @fucking-grapefruit @typicalweirdbookworm @the-strandedgypsy@meganwinchester1999 @maddieburcham1 @diabetus-swag @bohowitch@mizzezm @winchestergirl-love @theoriginalvicki @ayeeitsemry @kittenofdoomage @oriona75@jotink78 @the-cucumber-who-lived @magickal-angel @gecko9596@winchester-writes @valynsia @ronnie248-blog @inuhimesblog @phoenixia67@afanofmanystuffs@sassy-losechester @mariairwin666@essie1876@shell-fire @becaamm @aalexandra2712 @stone-met@maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals

[blautitlewave]

@lifting-madjick

Oops, forgot to tell you that I have this awful habit of screencapping people who talk shit to me and then do not allow me to reblog those posts so I can submit my rebuttal. I am not a person who likes to be yelled at and not given a chance to reply.

Her Mom clearly thinks stealing is wrong. Her Mom likely taught her stealing was wrong, and yet she chose to do so anyway. Not only that, but she stole again, likely after her mother warned her not to. So that’s not only committing a crime via theft, that’s also lying and disobeying your mother who expected her child to respect her and her rules while they lived in her house.

Your argument that people who follow the laws aren’t necessarily good people is fallacious because you stealing is only benefiting yourself and maybe a few family members. It is not bettering the community or anything else, not like how people risked their lives to help black slaves make their way to the North (yes, I pulled something out of my ass just like you did in making egregious examples to make my point), which was, hm...illegal. 

Yeah, I understand that people work long hours and are given shit deals. You think I was born into money? My great-grandparents grew up in the Depression, poor as dirt. Managed to make a life for themselves. My grandparents? Poor as dirt, managed to make a life for themselves. My Mother? Poor as dirt, managed to make a life for herself. Now I am white, so obviously obviously ob-vi-ous-ly there’s a reason why we are likely more successful than others who had similar cards stacked against them since the beginning. 

I am studying the big W’s when it comes to the financial crises facing Americans in this day and age at my college (”oooh, she goes to college, big whoop” you’ll likely say. Well, personal experience means nothing to people in charge if you don’t have actual stats, accredited sources to back up your complaining, and formal training in how to make sound arguments based off of them). 

Coincidentally, I am also studying Social Psychology, among other things, and what you are doing right now is known as neutralization, a theory which essentially means you’re making some convenient little narrative to justify committing crimes. Your first one is citing history (segregation), your second is pointing to how capitalism has gone awry in the past few decades. While your second point is very much a valid one in its own way, that does not justify your behavior, it only explains why you and people like you think it’s okay. 

You seem to act like I’m some bourgeois uppercrust that believes that people are poor because they choose to be, that I think that corporations actually care about me and that I’m actually somehow mad that you’re breaking the law to “help yourselves” despite the odds being stacked against you.

Only an absolute F U C K thinks that unbridled capitalism is a good thing. I’m honestly offended that you would even suggest that I am not knowledgeable about:

This nation’s history and the treatment of its workers, up until the Progressive Era of the 1910s-1920s

The historical economic disparity between whites and blacks, for example, since the end of Reconstruction in the South

The major boost corporations received under the Reagan Era when he simultaneously cracked down on labor unions, which led to

Lowered wages almost across the board, as well as 

Lowered taxes for the wealthy under Reagan, then Bush Sr., then Clinton, then Bush Jr., maintained by Obama, and possibly going to be lowered even more under Trump

Political shifts of the parties throughout history

Globalization and its effects on domestic workers

etc. etc. etc. when, like I’ve said, my family has through several generations struggled to survive as members of the working class. I am extremely empathetic of those who can barely make ends meet. I will even extend my sympathies to people who steal food and perhaps medicine to help their families.

However, I do NOT condone stealing luxury products that are not NEEDS but WANTS. While every human on this Earth should be guaranteed basic good treatment, food, water, safety, and a little nook to sleep in, this charity does not necessarily extend to frivolous material goods such as makeup or non-essential fashion items, jewelry, etc.Many people have lived and died comfortably without such things, I do not see why you absolutely cannot go on through life without snatching them. Those are personal little spoils, they do nothing to benefit anyone but yourself, so you are compromising your freedom for some trinkets for selfish reasons.

Not only that, but no matter what you tell yourself, you have done nothing to deserve these things. Nothing at all. Your work hours at some job day in and day out do not translate to being able to sneak out the doors with four bottles of nail polish. It doesn’t work like that. A direct exchange is required, one that benefits both parties giving something up for something else. 

People like you are the reason why teenagers are discriminated against by business owners and treated like criminals without having done anything to deserve it. Hell, your ethnicity or race may likely be furthering preexisting stereotypes that harm innocent kids. 

I am against stealing on principle. It is something that I simply do not consider to be right. It could be because I would not like it if someone were to steal from me (empathy) or maybe it’s because, if everyone stole, we’d have anarchy, and I don’t trust people to do the right thing 100% of the time when there is no obligation other than supposed “common sense of decency” to deter people from doing horrible things.

And no, I ain’t mad that y’all are stealing. I’m mad that OP was actually asking for sympathy and items to make up for the fact that they got in trouble for committing a crime. When I showed a friend this little story, he said “Serves that bitch right” and I have to honestly agree with them.

I don’t empathize with people who manipulate, steal, lie, cheat, harass, coerce, or attempt to blackmail others and then start bawling when Life knocks them on their ass. 

Like I said in my original post, there are families out there that would murder OP for even thinking of doing such a thing as stealing. Pride and honor go very far in some cultures, they should feel blessed they weren’t born in a conservative, rural part of the Middle East or South East Asia.

Anyway, why can’t you borrow makeup from friends, or go to the food pantry if you’re hungry, or ask for donations from people (since that seems to be popular on here), or shop at Goodwill, or visit a church and see if donations are available? Is it because you’re actually well enough off that you could in theory actually buy these things, you just don’t want to under the veneer of “I’m so poor and I can’t afford anything I want :( :( :(  so I’ll just steal it :D :D :D” ?

You know who thinks like that? 1) Children. Tiny, tiny little children that are not yet cognizant of how to be considerate to others.  Either that or 2) Sociopaths, 

You’ll notice that people who are very poor rarely steal unless absolutely necessary. Maybe it’s because they still hold morality to be much more important than the new eyeshadow they want, or a new pair of leggings. 

In conclusion, the one thing that I hope you take away from this is that what you are doing is not justified nor righteous. Don’t use the economic hardships of millions of others as a green light. It’s likely the vast majority of them would think your methods are deplorable and would not even think of doing it themselves. Depending on your race, you’re likely furthering a racial stereotype. Depending on your age, you’re probably helping to perpetuate ageism and validating discrimination against your age group. And lastly, by shoplifting to “save money” you are proving to the big people up top that the poor are morally corrupt. 

Thanks for helping out the people in your demographic by sending the message to bystanders that people in a similar boat as you economically and socially are untrrustworthy, manipulative, subversive, and unworthy of help.

[clearsandwicheagle-blog]

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"Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

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My husband is a Marine, we recently bought a new car and we're looking for good car insurance, preferably with a military discount! Does anyone have any experience with this? Thanks!""

Car Insurance Premium?

I have a car which is insured with company B. I decided to buy a new car and the dealer offered me a 7 days free comprehensive insurance with company C. I put my old car for sale while still under insurance B and on the third day after buying the new car I got into an accident. All accident details and fixes were done with the free 7 days car insurance C. During the process my older car was sold and eventually when I got my new car back from the garage I transferred it to my Insurance B. Now that liability of the accident is dealt with and stayed at 50/50 guilt for both parties, I was advised that my insurance premiums can be affected. My question is will that affect my current insurance B or not? Only insurance C dealt with the accident my insurance B have not paid nothing towards it nor get involved with it. Can my insurance B still go up on renewal due to this accident even under a different insurer?""

How much will I need to pay a month for car insurance?

I'm an 18 year's old. I'm buyiing my own car soon. How much do you think i'll have to pay for car insurance a month? and what company should i get?

""Im 19 ,how much should i pay for car insurance?

im not british.but im getting a uk full licence.. any people know how much should i pay for a classic mini? and how about a 1995 subaru wrx?

Will my insurance go up if I file a claim but then not need it?

A guy ran into me. All he did was pull off a side mirror. I can't get his insurance to replace it directly. They said he has to file the claim. He has yet to do so and the contact number I have for him is bad. So I was told if I go through my insurance they can file the claim to his insurance for me to get it paid. But if somehow they can't file it through his insurance ill just pay out of pocket and have my husband do the work so it's cheap. But if I do that will my insurance still go up? The accidentwas entirely his fault.

Is car insurance in America cheaper?

I have a Honda civic 2007 (nothing special) sedan and pay $280/month cause I live in Canada, clean record too""

Adding child to car insurance policy?

I was looking up insurance for myself its 900+ for six month which I expected but if my mom adds me to hers will it be any cheaper?

Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

Do I need business use car insurance? For Domino's Pizza Delivery?

I have been offered a job working as a delivery driver for domino's. Currently my car insurance only covers domestic and personal use and not business. The domino's contract says drivers are responsible for ensuring they have the correct insurance but also says they have third party cover. Does this mean they cover the business side or do I still need to get business use insurance as well? If this is the case my insurance is likely to be bumped up by at least 800 a year! Not really worth accepting this job when its only for the summer then is it.

What kind of car insurance do I need?

All I want is liability, but what does the state of California require as their bare minimum? Do I need uninsured motorist bodily injury limits and property damage limit? I drive a 1993 Jeep Cherokee.""

Generally how much is car insurance for a teenager with a learners permit in california?

I will be driving my parents car and they currently have Esurance.

Car insurance: Hybrid or conventional?

For a vehicle that is available in hybrid HEV and conventional drive train, which one costs more in vehicle insurance? and what is the difference?""

Insurance for a 2nd hand two wheeler.?

Recently purchased a second hand 2wheeler. Changed RC to my name already. Regarding insurance, which one is good?? 1) renewing existing with my name or 2) purchase a new insurance. which one is best?? do we have any difference for the above options?? Approximately how much it costs for both options??? Please guide me.""

Will a renters insurance and automobile insurance claim effect homeowners insurance rates?

Im purchasing a home in 2 months. Meanwhile my apartment was broken into and my second vehicle was stolen via my spare key which was hidden in my apartment. My losses for the ...show more

What is the rating on Safeway Insurance?

http://www.safewayinsurance.com/SIC/Default.aspx http://www.insure.com/articles/interactivetools/sandp/new_s&p.jsp I didnt found it online. by rating, I mean what letter? STANDARD AND POOR'S RATINGS DEFINITIONS AAA : EXTREMELY STRONG AA : VERY STRONG A : STRONG BBB : GOOD BB : MARGINAL B : WEAK CCC : VERY WEAK CC : EXTREMELY WEAK R : UNDER REGULATORY SUPERVISION NR : NOT RATED Do small insuarance companies get rated?""

I got into a motorcycle accident. insurance question...?

When I wiped out on my bike I tried to make a claim after I got home from the hospital. Little did I know that my insurance coverage had ended two days before the accident. Now my question is, will my health insurance pay for my medical bills from the accident or will they deny me because of my lack of motorcycle insurance at the time of the accident? When I found out about my lack of coverage, I immediately paid and got up to date but they told me that those two days when my coverage ended will not be covered... am I gonna get hit with all the medical bills? Or will my health insurance step up and cover me?""

What is individual and family health insurance?

I am planning to have family health insurance in these days but I want to understand the basic difference between individual and family health insurance.

Which car would I be paying more insurance for? Audi A4 or Jeep Cherokee?

I'm getting my second car and I'm debating in between Audi A4 Quattro and Jeep Cherokee 4x4(not limited). I know they're totally apart from eachother but I like them for ...show more

Should I put a claim in with my auto insurance?

Today at a light a car rear ended me. My rear bumper has some small scratches and some paint marks from the other car. No dents or anything else. the car that hit me seemed to have worse damage to his front bumper. We called the police and they did a report. The other guy said he is not going to put in a claim with his insurance. He admitted fault and apologized over and over. I was wondering if it is worth me putting in a claim with my insurance? I don't want my rates to go up and even though I am not at fault, i wonder how aggressively my insurance will pursue a claim with the other guy's insurance since damage is so minor. I actually wonder if it was worth calling the police, when I really think about it. I was just shaken up at the time. I think re painting the bumper would actually be less than my deductible. I don't really have any pain and no noticeable injuries. I had a friend say I should put in a claim for minor back pain, but even if i was in minor pain, i have heard the 10,000 most companies give always go to lawyers and chiropractors I don't want to lie and don't want to spend time going to chiropractors too end up not getting anything and still having to pay to repaint bumper, have my rates go up and be aggravated. any advice?""

What do compulsory and voluntary excess mean in car insurance?

The one I am looking at is 0 compulsory excess and 150 voluntary. Is it better for both to be lower? I don't know what it means. Please explain before I buy. Thanls

Question about car insurance? (Progressive)?

So I am 19 and currently on my parents car insurance plan still. When I moved out the first time they put a hold on my car insurance because I didn't feel the need to have a car while living downtown. I moved back in with my parents for a few months to look for a new place and I got back on the insurance and now I am about to move out again permanently back to the city but this time I want to take my car with me. I will be changing my primary address and getting a new drivers license for that state (My family is in Indiana and I am moving back to Chicago). I will be going to school full time in that state as well as living there so my question is... does anyone know if I can stay on my parents car insurance if I am no longer living in their home/state?

""Hi, I Need to insure my car and I am have no idea which insurance company is best and cheap plz help!!!?

And I need to do it today. Anyone knows how to do it quickly and which company is really and cheap and meets the NYS dmv requirements?

Insurance for 1998 Corvette for 18 Year Old Male?

Okay, so this question is one of those, if you have to ask you can't afford it type of questions. Now I have loved Corvette's since I was old enough to identify cars. I have always dreamed of owning on, and the opportunity is upon me. After selling my car, and saved money, and saved funds, I can afford a 1998 Corvette Silver Automatic. Now it's a V8, and is pushing over 300HP easy. Insurance is ridiculously high, even with 2 and a half years of perfectly safe driving. (I hate the stereotype of just because I'm young, I'm an unsafe driver. Alas, all the idiots ruin it for us safe young adults.) Anyway the Vette clears out and is mint shape, no accidents, and is selling for $14,900 with 74K miles, a steal if you ask me. Anyway I have over $16,500 saved up, which leaves me with an issue. I can afford the car no problem, but I just know the insurance will be through the roof. However I was wondering if any of you have any idea on the cost. I have Metropolitan if you were wondering.""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 16 year old?

If I'm a 16 year old male in Texas, what would be an average price for insurance on a newer model sports bike 750cc""

How much would car insurance cost under these conditions?

-15 -Texas -1995 mustang gt conv. -both parents will have insurance -car is fully paid off I would like to know what insurance would cost when i turn 16 as well.

What is the cheapest insurance for an 18 year old driver to get?

i dont have alot of money and need the cheapest insurance possible, that covers things somewhat. thankyou!!!""

Do farmers get cheaper car insurance through (NFU?) Farmers union? (uk and NI)?

Just seen an NFU and was wondering...

Car insurance question?

I'm going to get a car that is 3000 bucks...I dont want full coverage....I want somehting like PLPD or something.. How much is it going to be for insurance? Cant I find anything cheaper than 203.00 thats the cheapest so far. I dont need to pay that much... HELP??

Does school require health insurance?

I live in California, USA and my brother and I don't have health insurance. We are in middle and high school(public school). What are the disadvantages of not having health insurance?""

Average PLPD insurance for car?

Im wanting to buy a 1989 Toyota Supra and im wondering how much PLPD would be on it.

How much does car insurance cost for a 16 year old?

Im a girl with good grades that would be added on to my parents insurance policy, can anyone give me a dollar estimate?""

Purchasing car insurance?

I need a step by step guide to adding another car and driver to my mom's policy. I have a 1995 Ford Contour. How long will it take for her to get coverage on my car? How do I get proff of insurance?

How much would it be for a 16 year old kid to buy a 2010 Chevy Camaro LT1 and get insurance?

How much would it be for a 16 year old kid to buy a 2010 Chevy Camaro LT1 and get insurance?

Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

What is the cheapest Mitsubishi lancer insurance wise?

I want a Mitsubishi that looks nice, a bit like an evo, without the crazy insurance price or high speed engine. Any suggestions. I'm 19 and have been driving just over a year.""

Do union workers at car companies really make too much? Is health insurance a factor?

What is the difference between america and Japan? How much do Japanese workers make and what type of health coverage (if any) do they get?

What used 4 door sedans are cheap on insurance?

Im 18 years old, turning 19 in december and need a car for college, what would be a good 4 door sedan, 4 cylinder, that is good on gas, cheap on insurance and cheap on repairs, reliable. What would be a good first car? Im not staying and living at the campus, im coming back home everyday.""

Insurance for a 3 series BMW Convertable?

Does anybody know a good/cheap insurance company for a BMW 3 Series Convertable. I don't have any no claims as i have always driven a company car! Please please help!!!!

Insurance Costs for a P Plate Hyundai Tiburon?

I live in Melbourne and want to get an idea on the insurance? (I already know its a lot) Thanks

How much is teenage car insurance?

I am 15 years old and going to have my permit. I want use my dad's car who already has insurance. But, based on certain websites they say i need to include licensed drivers on my dad's car insurance. I think we do not have me listed. Is it possible to include me as a licensed driver. I am currently under Nationwide. Will it cost me to be included? If, so how much or what is the average and how do I do it?""

Help! Car insurance question?

If you get pulled over and it's not a wreck just for speeding and u don't have car insurance do u get ur license taken away? Or what can u do to have theme not taken away if so

My mother wants to add me to her car insurance. How much will it cost?

im 24 and i have never driven before. lets just say i had a silver spoon in my mouth for 23 years. but now i need to start driving and my mom would like me to drive her 2000 bonnaville while she gets a small pickup truck. but to be fair i would need to pay her once she gets her insurance bill yearly, and i would have to pay once she has added me...see where im going with this?""

Best young drivers insurance for Fiat Stilo.?

Hi all, I was wondering how much to get insured on a 2002 1.2 petrol fiat stilo. Is there a really good cheap insurance company in ireland, Im 17 by the way.""

Why would insurance cost me 500 quid for a 50cc bike?

Im wanting to purchase a 50cc bike, derbi gpr 50 racing, 2009. it would be kept in a garage, and im only looking for third party cover. the bike costs 1650, and i have passed my cbt and have a provisional license. do i even need insurance?""

Could you tell me everything i need to know about insurance in a simplified version?

About bills and insurance and all that?

Car insurance help?

Ok so im about to turn 16. my parents said they would get me a car, but only if i paid my own insurance. can u please tell me how much it would be a month. and what company would be the lowest price. i dont know if u need this info but. im 16. white ( someone told me it matters?), i live in florida (palm beach county), and the car will probably be an audi a4. can u please give me an average amount a month so i know what my goal to save up is.""

Insurance with a permit?

so i have my permit, and i can now start driving on the road, so i was wondering if i need insurance for me. the car i'm gonna be driving is already insured, so do i need insurance for myself.""

Insurance for Spanish registered car?

I live and work in the uk, but I have a car in the canary islands spain, I only return to the ca66naries about 6 times a year for a week at a time, does anyone know of an insurance company that can cover my car insurance for only 1 week at a time when I need it. The car is locked in my underground garage when not in use. I do not see the point in paying for a yearly insurance for a car that is only used for max of 6 weeks in the year. Its a Spanish plated car reg number""

""Insurance Rates For '05-'09 Mustang GT, '02 WS6 Trans Am Ram Air And '02 Cadillac Eldorado?""

(thank you sooooo much for all answers to my previous question! It's a shame I couldn't shout thank you for pushing the vote button by mistake. I was a total noob here) As everyone recommended me to purchase a 4th gen Trans Am (hopefully the ram air of the final edition), with one person also picking the 05-09 Mustang GT out of my wishlist and my friend telling me to get a 92-02 Cadillac Eldorado, how much is the average of the insurance rates for each car? I'm 24, male, just graduated from college in Japan and have no driving history in America. I'm moving outta here in a year. My nationality is Japanese as well, which means I won't be trusted for a while. Sure my Japanese licence won't be valid in the US so I'll have to retake it over there hence no history... right? :/ Does anyone have a clue? Thanks a lot for reading :)""

What do you need to insure a car?

I bought a car from a friend. Do I only need a logbook when calling the DVLA, just wondering if I need anything else to get the car insured.""

Insurance deposit for an auto insurance?

I received a quote for an auto insurance and they require a deposit and then the first premium payment..Will the deposit be refundable? Why is there a deposit? Thank you!

Im 19 years and i need a car but im woried about the insurance?

Hi im 19 years old. I have a good job but no credit. i recently saw this 2000 dollars car. how much could i be paying for the insurance.

Where can I get affordable healthcare?

I am a Iraqi war veteran with a serviced connected disability of 50%. I would like to find good health care for my wife a full time student that is affordable. I have done searches in places like www.eHealthInsurance.com and the insurance is either really expensive or it doesn't cover much which could make things expensive. Any suggestions would be great.

Best car insurance today?

I just got my car licence.. and I'm looking for a place to inform me about car insurances. Thanks

Car Insurance?

My car insurance renews in january.. what if I pay it all off say by april, but then I get a new car in May does the insurance transfer over and I pay the difference for the new car? and what if I didn't pay off all the insurance but got a new car would I not have to pay off the rest of the balance? I never understood this.. thank youu""

Bike insurance for a cbr 600?

i live in halifax nova scotia in a rural area and was woundring how much it would cost just for plpd i allready have a bike witch is a 200cc and it cost me 300 and some odd dollors for the year woundring how much it would be for a cbr 600 year around 1998-2005 and i took a drivers course for bike and car and been with my insurance company for about a year now for my bike would they give me any speacials. also i have gotten no tickets or crashed got a clean slate.

Affordable health insurance!!?

For some reason, the insurance coverage I have seems to go up every year (and because I moved recently it jumped up another $60 a month). My wife and I get crappy coverage on top of it. To make things more hectic; we are pregnant (she's pregnant -not me, but you get the point). And beause Maternity coverage runs another $500 a month it isn't affordable on a student income (I am currently in Law School, while she works). So, if anyone has any information on how they managed the pregnancy, or even just real life, without insurance (or on what insurance?), I would be extremely appreciative if you could offer it up. I Might even give you the best answer....or whatever (who knows, that may motivate some people) So, I'm looking for affordable health insurance coverage. It doesn't need to cover maternity...I know thats expensive everywhere. What I am looking for is something under 300 a month that still covers some outpatient surgery, or even more than 2 doctor visits a year!!""

I am looking for Home owners Insurance. Which do you have or recommend?

Geico or State Farm And Why? Thank you

How can I get an Auto Insurance adjuster to address my claim ? He is completely unresponsive.?

I drove out a brand new car from the dealership and stopped at a signal light. I was rear ended hard by a coupe driven by teenagers. His car was towed and impounded. Now I called the other driver's insurance company after receiving the police report and was told that a claim has already been filed and an adjuster's name and number given. I have been ever since calling the adjuster and leaving voice-mails. Its about 3 days and I have left more than 8 voice mail but he does not call me back. Its getting frustrating and am unsure if thats their strategy ? How long should I continue this ? and How can I get him to attend and address my claim ? and what else are my options ? Should I go to small claims court ? Advice is much appreciated.

Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

Hagerman New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 88232

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cracked-windshield-should-i-make-insurance-claim-michael-keller/"

[twohopefulhearts-blog1]

2016 (1/18/17)

Here’s our story so far…

About a year and a half ago Chad and I had our first real “baby” conversation...Are we ready? How many should we have? When would be the “perfect” timing? Over 3 years of marriage had molded us, strengthened our friendship and faith and we felt it soon would be the “right” time. In mid-January  2016 we had our first positive pregnancy test. I was excited to share with Chad so I wrapped up the test in tissues (cliché I know) put it in a little gift bag with a “What to expect when your wife is expanding” book and gave it to him that night. It was a moment that I had thought a lot about and wanted it to be memorable. We spent the next days reveling in our new-found joy and excitement, thinking about how the next 9 months would go and dreaming about who this child would become. We told a few close people mostly because we couldn’t contain our excitement but tried to keep it quiet otherwise. I went in for blood testing to confirm the pregnancy and all appeared normal. We set up our first ultrasound, appointments and bought books on nutrition during pregnancy and what to expect. Everything seemed to be going as planned.

 Eight days after that positive pregnancy test, I began cramping and bleeding. It was a weekend so I frantically searched online for any sign that this could be normal or something benign, but quickly found bad news (I have strong feelings against Dr. Google, but quickly fell into that trap in that moment). I called the nurse line at my doctor’s office and they said it likely was a miscarriage but recommended I go to the ER to make sure. At the ER they tested my urine and blood HCG levels, confirming that I was losing the pregnancy. An ultrasound was done as well with nothing surprising found. The news hit us hard…we hadn’t seen this coming (as most don’t). It felt as though all the dreams we had thought up over the past few days were literally being stripped away. I realized in a new way just how fragile life is. 

 Almost immediately as we began to tell those closest to us and they showered us with prayers. I count it a huge blessing that some of the women that I had grown close to had openly shared their stories of infertility, miscarriages or inability to have children long before Chad and I experienced our loss. Their openness was vital in helping us feel that we were not alone in this pain. I could have spent the following days and weeks in isolation but thankfully our friends reached out their love and support in many ways with letters, gifts and just simply letting us know they were praying for us or that we could call anytime to talk.

A year later and I sometimes think back to this first pregnancy and how even though it was such an early loss it was just as painful as the following losses. This was our first attempt at being parents, conception had happened so “easily”, we had created a life and lost it so easily as well.  Chad was amazing through this, he mourned with me but continually let me know he was there for whatever I needed. I prayed through the pain most days even though we couldn’t understand why this happened. I have dealt with anxiety on and off throughout my life and unfortunately the aftermath of this miscarriage left me with what sometimes felt like overwhelming anxiety.  It’s an odd thing how losing this kind of “control” and realizing that I had no control over something as precious as building a baby left me in a state of panic. I researched miscarriages looking for signs to say that this is “normal”, that it won’t happen again. I found that miscarriages are extremely common and that I wasn’t alone which helped.

I found myself repeating the famous verses in Jeremiah 29- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” 

This verse does not mean there won’t be hard days,  in fact we are guaranteed some very rough days and periods in our life. But what this verse does tell me is that I can find hope in what God has ahead for us, that even the struggles ahead have a purpose and as long as I continually seek him this peace will guide me.

We had been planning to move and over the next six months, we took time to get settled into a new city, new jobs and new schedule. By June we were met with the second positive pregnancy test. We were elated again, timid his time, but still hopeful. I had more symptoms with this pregnancy- fatigue, even a few days of morning sickness and minor cravings which helped give me confidence that things were going well. We prayed every day for this child, praying that we would get to meet him or her in a few months, that God would prepare us for what was ahead. This time around I did not have any early blood work done to see how the pregnancy was progressing since I hadn’t yet found an OB in the area. We didn’t “dream” as much with this pregnancy. We honestly didn’t talk that much about it either. I think deep down we both knew that we had to see tangible signs of encouragement before we gave in to the excitement. 

Our first ultrasound appointment was in July and although we could see the embryonic sac and embryo, he/she was measuring significantly smaller than they should have been based on the dates (I was about 8 weeks from my last period, but baby was measuring at only 6 weeks) and no heartbeat could be found. Our doctor was cautiously optimistic but said we did need to come back in 1-2 weeks to repeat the ultrasound. I was nervous and had a bad feeling, but tried to stay calm until our next appointment. The follow-up ultrasound confirmed what I had feared, the embryo had grown a bit, but there was no heartbeat. We were crushed, again. I cried in the exam room with Chad holding me. This time we had seen the embryo, we had ultrasound pictures and we had had such hope that the first was just a fluke and that this time would be different, but we had been wrong. 

We were given three options. 1.) Allow natural miscarriage which could take days or weeks and would likely involve a lot of bleeding - at this point I was about “10 weeks” with growth stopping at about 6 weeks and no natural miscarriage yet  2.) Take Cytotec which would cause me to miscarry over a day to a few days or 3.) Have a surgical D&C, a scheduled time to miscarry. Chad and I talked over the next day about which option to pursue. I was initially a bit conflicted about the D&C or Cytotec because I felt as though we were forcing the process, something that should happen naturally. At the same time, there was no way of telling if it would be days or weeks for me to miscarry naturally, for my body to recognize that this pregnancy was non-viable and no way of knowing if it would begin in the middle of a work day. I had already begun mourning and I felt that prolonging the process would be harmful for us both. The cytotec seemed even less desirable since I felt like taking a pill to abort our child (even a non-viable embryo) would be even tougher emotionally, and could take days. And even still, it may not work completely and I could have had to repeat the process or maybe even have a surgical D&C afterwards. Chad and I both decided we were most comfortable with the surgical D&C.

One week later (early August) we went to the hospital and all I can say is that God met me at the hospital that morning, I am typically a nervous wreck anytime I have to be put under anesthesia, but this time was very different. Pre-op was calm and quiet, we repeated the ultrasound just to be sure and by this point there was only a small amount of embryonic tissue present in the sac. I had a great anesthetist who talked with us before and and did a thorough physical. The procedure went as expected with no complications. As I woke up from anesthesia I began to tear up. The nurse holding my hand calmly reminded me that I was in God’s perfect will. As tough as this is, I do believe this. I believe that our suffering through this is for a purpose, if nothing other than to help one person, to relate to one person better in the future. I cannot rationalize all of the pain and suffering that happens in this world (some of it seems so inconceivable and surreal) but I do believe that God is good and just and that we aren’t necessarily meant to understand all of the suffering here. 

The mourning of our second loss was a little longer, filled with more uncertainty about future pregnancies but with time we had healed to a point when we thought we could handle trying again. We found our third positive pregnancy test in October. I had some early blood testing done and my progesterone was found to be low, so I began supplemental progesterone around 6 weeks. A few close friends gathered and prayed over Chad, me and this baby. I was overwhelmingly grateful to have these people in my life and felt such support. Within a few days I miscarried again. I was bitter this time. The hope that had come so easily before left me. I just didn’t understand and I felt done with this repeated pain. Chad was in a similar place and went into a dark place. We found it harder to support each other through this time as we sat in our own despair. 

Over the next few weeks we began to come out of the “fog” of depression. By this time, we were determined to figure out if there was an underlying cause, something to say that this was going to continue happening.  So, last month I went through some fertility testing. I had a saline infusion ultrasound, hysterosalpinogram (HSG), hormone testing- thyroid, prolactin and progesterone along with chromosomal tests. Chad also had chromosomal testing and full genetic  testing (we chose to only screen him as we were specifically worried about him being a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis - he has a family member with this disease). Everything came back very normal. Good to know, but also leaving us in a state of confusion about how the other three happened so consecutively. The recurrent theme from our doctors has been that most likely all three were chromosomal abnormalities. That being said, we did not have testing done on any of the embryos so we cannot be sure.

So…that is where we are at right now. It has been a year since our very first pregnancy and we could not have predicted the struggle we’d face in trying to add to our family. At the same time, I wouldn’t trade it. I am thankful for the ability to conceive, I’m thankful for the three little lives that were growing inside of me even if only for a short time and I’m thankful for the growth that has happened in both of us. We still have great things to look forward to. And I believe we have great Hope ahead. 

I’ll try to share more as things come up. We are still trying to grow our family and for the time being we are content trying again. We are also open to the possibility of adoption down the road. We try to be open to whatever the will of God is in this journey.

Philippians 4:6-76 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.