#obikin crack

[paracosm-draw]

Obi-Wan *slouched on the table with dark circles and a beer* : you don't realize how hard it is to live with Skywalker.

Rex : oh yes we know General, I'm the one who's making sure he doesn't die 172 times a day.

Obi-Wan *different kind of memories flashing back in his mind* : trust me, you'll never know, Captain.

[obiwan]

#Anakin Skywalker; bottom. (insp)

[catgriller]

An AU where Anakin leaves the Jedi before Ahsoka

[tennessoui]

exploiting the body politic au -

“Oh,” Aayla says, and Anakin looks up from his phone. Aayla’s looking at her own phone, collapsed on her back on the couch. “Why’d you try glasses when you could have just passed these around to the bored suburban moms?”

“What?” Anakin says and leans over. He gets a deft kick to the ribs for his troubles, but then Aayla passes over her phone and—and all she’s been doing is scrolling through some male model’s recent press or something because all the pictures are of the same guy in various outfits, looking various levels of handsome while doing normal people things like picking up groceries or getting out of his car or leaving a coffee shop. “Probably cause these have nothing to do with Obi-Wan Kenobi,” he says, handing the phone back to her. “Are you trying to say you think I should grow a beard? Cause I’ve been thinking mayb—”

“Stop,” Aayla interrupts, holding up a hand. “First of all, I would never tell you to grow a beard. No one is ever going to tell you that. Second of all, that is Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“No it’s not,” Anakin says automatically. “Kenobi is like, old.”

Well, he’s thirty-five, Anakin knows that. And thirty-five isn’t old, but it’s also certainly not devastatingly attractive. 

“Give me that back,” he demands, extending his hand and grabbing at Aayla’s phone. He clicks on one of the photos on the screen at random, a shot of the bearded man carrying a paperbag full of groceries. It’s at least a few months old, because there’s a bouquet of spring flowers in the picture, balanced on top of the bag. The man’s hair looks reddish brown in the sun; his beard’s all neat and orderly and he’s wearing a light jacket over a loose shirt and slacks. Anakin was right the first time around—he’s very attractive in a way that screams look at me. 

He supposes that’s something politicians could probably have in common with models, but the man in the photo is looking far too windswept and…and casual to be a politician.

But then he looks past the photo, down at its title and it says City Councilman Kenobi on Cars, Community, and Cooking in Coruscant.

It must have been a slow news day.

“Huh,” Anakin says, swiping across the phone’s screen to pull up the next picture. It’s part of the same article from the Coruscant Star, except this time, Kenobi is looking at the camera with one eyebrow raised, expression carefully crafted to look both infinitely patient and two seconds away from snapping. It must have been taken on a different day altogether because the man is dressed in a reasonably nice looking outfit, though his tie is all loose around his neck. He’s standing in his office, maybe, or a prop office more likely, leaning a bit over a very heavy and fancy looking desk, balanced on one of his forearms which is all freckly and exposed because he’s rolled up his sleeves.

“Is this what the city council is using our tax dollars for?” Anakin asks, scandalized. “Soft-core porn shoots?”

“What?” Aayla says, demonstrating a freakish level of flexibility by leaning over to look at her phone screen without removing her feet from his lap. “It’s just a photo.”

Anakin splutters. “I may have pledged my undying loyalty to my hot TA, but even I cannot admit that that is not just a photo.”

“Whatever,” Aayla says, flopping back onto her back. “Don’t screenshot it and send it to yourself to beat off to later, that’s gross.”

“You’re gross,” Anakin replies, but he tosses her phone back at her. He wasn’t going to screenshot anything. “That’s our city councilman.”

“He’s your city councilman,” Aayla corrects lazily. “I’ve decided I was going to vote for his opponent.”

All politics is, Anakin decides, is one betrayal after another. 

[aberrantcreature]

Obikin Prompt .8

Notice: slightly crack-y.

Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi embarks on a solo mission where he discovers a Sith Lord. A handsome one, even if his face below the eyes was covered in some garish, Sith-y mask. He has copper hair with a few streaks of gray and complimentary golden eyes, and the poor padawan was smitten.

Knowing he is no match against this far more powerful ‘Darth Vader’ in combat, Obi-Wan comes up with a different plan to defeat this Sith and bring peace to the republic.

By flirting, seducing, and caring his way into Vaders heart.

After all, didn’t all of those popular fantasy holonovels he read rave about the healing, transformative power of love?

Or, Obi-Wan tries to turn a Sith back from the dark side by using every corny, tropey and sappy method in the book of romance.

[kingdomvel]

An obikinnie trick or treat to you!

hey, how dare you be an anon so I can't stalk who you are to know what au would you like the trick or treat of more of.

Anyway thank you for the trick or treat, have a silly short thing of the musician Anakin and Actor Obi-Wan au (that probably needs a name and a tag at this point, any ideas anyone??)

When Cal comes back to the dressing room everyone is sitting around on the sofas, which is odd, because he is sure they should all be packing to go back to the hotel.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Anakin says. “Wait, where is Obi-Wan,” he adds when he takes a proper look.

“My father,” Cal answers, putting emphasis on the term, “hasn’t left yet, if that’s what you are wondering.”

“Okay,” Anakin sounds relieved, and Cal would say he sounds a bit embarrassed too if only he hadn’t told him what he was doing to his father 30 minutes ago. “That’s good, actually. Sit down.”

Cal moves to sit down in front of Anakin, feeling like he is going to be interrogated and a at the same time that he is going to receive a lecture.

“You betrayed me,” Anakin just says. “How did you not tell me-“

“Us,” Aayla interrupts.

“-us who your father is!”

“Probably because of what you just did,” Rex provides in a tone that suggests this is not the first time he has said it. Cal is glad someone is, at least somewhat, on his side. He gestures to Rex to convey that that is the exact reason.

“He is my father Anakin, and you-“

“Well I am not the only one at fault here-“ Anakin starts, but he gets interrupted by Aayla hitting him.

“He looked so sad when he learned that we didn’t know he was your father,” Aayla says. It makes Cal’s heart pang with hurt. That was the biggest worry he had had about hiding who his father was.

They’ve had a few words about it already, his father understands that he wanted to earn something by himself, but doesn’t quite understand why Cal continued to hide it after he got the job. Cal is sure he will understand soon enough.

“That’s between us.”

“As your new father I don’t like you making your father sad.”

“You are NOT my new father!”

“Not YET.”

“Didn’t you already get what you wanted?”

“No! I am going to be with your father for the rest of my life.”

There is an awkward silence after that, no one really says anything. Cal should have expected, really. Anakin is intense, but he has always showed more obsession about his father’s… body, than anything else. Though now that he thinks about it, it might have been a rounded interest, it’s just that the parts about Anakin talking about his father’s cock stuck more to Cal.

“So!” Aayla exclaims to try to dissipate the tension. “We were trying to come up with ways to make Obi-Wan Kenobi stick around for a bit, and you are a big factor on that.”

Cal sends a quick look to Anakin before he looks at Aayla. He hesitates a bit before he says, “that won’t be necessary.” He can feel Anakin’s eyes boring into him. “He said that he is very interested on seeing how this whole thing works and asked if he can follow us on the tour for a while. See how it all is behind the scenes, the rehearsing and all of that.”

“YES! You told him he can come to anything he wants, right?” Anakin exclaims.

“He also asked for your number,” Cal tells Anakin.

“And you gave it to him, RIGHT?”

Cal didn’t, but he doesn’t tell that to Anakin. He is saved by his phone pinging, which only happens when it’s his father texting him. He unblocks his phone and starts replying.

“Cal, leave your phone, did you give it to him?”

“Sorry, my father is asking what hotel we are staying at so he can try to book a room there. Says he misses staying at the same place as me. He is such a sap, so overbearing, I only moved out like 3 months ago.”

“Don’t talk about your father like that.” Anakin says. Cal tries to give him the stink eye. He can talk about his father however he wants and the man obsessed with his cock can’t say anything about it.

“I’m telling him he can stay with me.”

“Tell him he can stay with me.” Anakin offers. Even though Cal would have preferred he didn’t. “You are in the same room as Rex, and you don’t want to sleep in the same bed as your father at your age, do you?”

“Oh but you can sleep in the same bed as my father.”

“I didn’t say we were going to sleep. Tell him he can stay with me the whole tour.”

Cal takes a deep breath, but no words really come out of his mouth. His phone pings again. His father asking about Anakin’s number again.

He can’t with them.

“I am giving him your fucking number, I am not going to tell him anything that comes out of your mouth.”

Some time later, people on the internet catch onto the fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi has been going to a lot of the 501st’s concerts and he is in the background in a few bts videos. There is a lot of speculation until it comes out that he is the father of one of the touring musicians. Everyone is like aww that is so sweet that he is so supportive/ he is the best father, as if he wasn’t already perfect / his son is also so handsome / it’s so cute that the band have such a close relationship with the others… And then it somehow comes out that he is boning the frontman (bc Anakin doesn’t know what subtle is) and everyone is like wait WHAT. WTF.

[tideswept]

for the reverse writing prompts: too many beds? i’m just dying laughing thinking about obikin going on a couple’s get away only to be given a double twin bed room

Snort. I love this. Like they book a romantic getaway but people recognize their names (thinking GFFA, so it's not exactly difficult to recognize the Team) and the clerk goes, "oh, that must be a mistake, let me fix it! :D" super helpful, happy to do so for the heroes of the Republic. Sparing them from an awkward night before they even get there!

Then Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive and it's like. Kark. Can't even push the beds together, either, because they're bolted down. (for reasons. I dunno. special levitating scifi beds.) And Obi-Wan wants to die, because he painstakingly researched this resort, it was going to be perfect, but all he can do is suck in a small breath and then go, "Well, this is unexpected," in the most pleasant tone of voice while Anakin is just staring, bug-eyed, speechless.

"I'm going down to complain," he says immediately in reply to Obi-Wan, but then, oops, if he makes a big deal out of it now, and obviously the hotel staff knows who they are, their little secret romantic getaway isn't going to be much of a secret anymore, is it?

Obi-Wan is more philosophically accepting. The bathtub is still.... large... after all. Which seemingly mollifies Anakin, and the first night (after thoroughly exploring just how large the bathtub is) is spent in separate beds.

Next day, Obi-Wan wants to go visit a butterfly exhibit, and Anakin wants to go surfing (WATER. SO MUCH WATER. Fuck the sand, WATER) so they split up for a bit and agree to meet up in their room before lunch.

Only, when Obi-Wan returns to the room, it's clear Anakin didn't go to the beach at all. He went around every shop in town, buying every kind of pillow and cushion they had available, and draping them on top of yards of cozy, colorful, fabrics, all of it set on top of thin floor mats. So it's all quite plushy (this is the sort of set-up that Anakin would have caught glimpses of in harems in Tatooine) and inviting.

So really, in the end, it doesn't matter how many beds there are. 😏 They make do.

[magnusbae]

no but consider anakin post the mustafar fight expect with a fix-it outcome, asking obi-wan out and when obi-wan says 'absolutely not' anakin goes 'only a sith dea--' anyways this is the story of how obi-wan started dating anakin if only to not hear his own words used against him

[kenobisanakin]

star wars characters if they were in the omegaverse~

[hannibalzero]

Obi-Wan smiled as he knelt in his garden, his violets were doing so well right now. The extra rain was doing wonders for the vegetables. He hummed as he started to pull the weeds enjoying the song playing on his phone.

Not hearing the sound of a car pull up.

The voice made Obi-Wan shudder…

“Babygirl, guess who just got out of prison!” Vader cooed approaching his wife in the garden.

[paracosm-draw]

[sandumilfshou]

established secret obianidala au where palpatine is trying to do the whole "do you know the story of darth plagueis the wise?" thing in the theatre to turn anakin, but anakin is barely paying attention and is using all of his braincells to appear as unflustered as possible because padmé put a remote controlled vibrator in him that she keeps changing the settings on and obi-wan is directly beaming sexual fantasies into his head and if he manages to not get caught and also not cum he gets special treats after 💛

[palfriendpatine66]

WIP Wednesday (bonus edition) Queer Eye au

@sky-kenobye wanted to know more about my obikin Queer Eye wip 💕. I started this just for fun (as Queer Eye was on in the background- no surprise there) in an attempt to get any words out and back to writing once more. (And it worked!)

In this au the Republic wins the war, Anakin doesn’t fall, no order 66, and planet earth exists and people there have the ability to travel to the GFFA because I said so. Read below for a snippet

This week on Queer Eye our heroes are actual heroes, none other than saviors of the Galaxy, now roommates, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Jonathan: OMG THEY’RE ROOMMATES!!!

They were nominated by their friends and fellow veterans Cody and Rex.

Cody: General Kenobi is a good man. He gave all of himself all of the time during the war, and now it’s time for us to give back a little to him.

Rex: I mean they’re both great guys. Excellent Jedi. The best generals in the GAR. But as functional beings, well..

Cody: The army gave them structure.

Rex: (nodding emphatically) yeah

Cody: structure is good

Quinlan: Alright, look. I’ve known both of these guys basically forever. I trained with Obes long before he was The Order's poster boy and I met Anakin when we were still shaking sand out of his hair. Neither one has ever been exactly what you’d call organized. But without the Jedi or the army to guide them, well, they’re kind of a mess. And by kind of, I mean really. Hut in a antiques shop level of mess.

(Cut to footage of Obi-Wan and Anakin arguing in different location across Coruscant)

Karamo: Our mission for this week is to give these heroes their new marching orders and help them rediscover who they are off the battlefield.

Jonathan: Make love not war honey!

[sendpseuds]

The Resolute Theater Presents

After continually getting in their own way, Obi-Wan and Anakin finally go on a date.

Read it here

9/14

[tennessoui]

Any obikin fic you've been reading that is giving you that damn I can't wait until this story updates kinda feels?

these two fics immediately come to mind - they’re both older wips that I read when I first got into the fandom and I think of them very fondly and I always will, even if they never update again (so these are giving less of “can’t wait for them to update” and more “these are very good stories as they are and I’m still subscribed to them even though it’s been 2-3 years since they updated”):

how to stay by answersinahauntedclub

&

open circle by calyss

[that-gay-jedi]

Fics I'd want to write but already have too many WIPs to even contemplate adding more to the fucking folder (posting concepts in the hopes they stop haunting me from underneath the floorboards), mostly crossovers:

Fix-it that's just Jedi reading children's books to smol Anakin. It starts when some kind and wise soul lends Obi-Wan The Snow Cat to help him and Anakin talk about grief in the wake of Qui-Gon's death. They help him explore his relationship to prophecy/destiny via The Paper Bag Princess. Room on the Broom to challenge win-lose thinking. Etc. As an adult, he asks Obi-Wan to reread The Velveteen Rabbit with him if he ever gets self-conscious after losing his arm and then we all cry.

Anakin gets therapy but it's inspired by Poe's The Premature Burial, like, they carefully and repeatedly and with plenty of emotional support etc expose him to a simulated reality in which he experiences losing everyone he loves but structured in such a way as to reduce the fear of it rather than make it more frightening, and Anakin thinks his prophecy nightmares of Obi-Wan dying are just (a very ineffective and unpleasant) part of the therapy until he complains and somebody on his care team goes "Wait, what?" which leads to Sidious getting discovered.

The Happy Man's Shirt but make it Vaderwan. Emperor Vader just wants to keep Luke from dying of melancholy, but now he's reluctantly learned a life lesson from a shirtless Obi-Wan and it's making him rethink this whole Sith Empire thing. I'm insane and there's something wrong with me.

Crossover with Were The World Mine (movie). Same age AU with Anakin as Timothy and Obi-Wan in a similar ish role to Jonathan (yes I know Obi-Wan isn't a jock but hear me out), Ahsoka as Frankie and Rex as Max, utter fucking chaos, what Timothy does with the flower is already such an Anakin move tbh

Shakespeare's Tempest but make it Vaderwan, with Vader turning away from the dark side being like Prospero breaking his staff. All about Letting Go(tm). Darth Vader redemption but with so much Force philosophy you'll want to stuff a sock in my mouth.

Crossover w/ The Last Unicorn. Sidious or Dooku as King Haggard, Anakin and Obi-Wan as Molly Grue and Schmendrick or alternatively as Amalthea & Prince Lir, Maul as the Red Bull, honestly *slaps roof* this baby can fit so many reinterpretations/explorations of all our favourite themes in it

Crossover with Celia S. Friedman's Coldfire Trilogy (When True Night Falls, Black Sun Rising, and Crown of Shadows). Listen, are you someone who ever thought it's hypocritical of Christians not to pray for/forgive/empathize with the Devil? Would you go nuts if a fantasy-brand priest homoerotically did exactly that? Okay now what if Anakin was the fantasy-brand Devil (eldritch af) and Obi-Wan risked his own beliefs/moral purity/etc for him, and they were magically connected and intextricably linked, all while the rough equivalent of the Force on their planet was trying to kill them and/or trying to communicate with them (it's complicated)?

Sailor Moon but make it obikin, because we all want to see the horror of Artoo doing Luna's job lmfao.

Crossover with Steph Swainston's Fourlands series (The Year of Our War, No Present Like Time, The Modern World etc). This one would have everything. Obikin with anidala parallels, Anakin making morally objectionable choices, horrifying combat scenes, Star Wars galactic politics meets the weirdest worldbuilding you've ever seen, blasphemy and sacrilege, needless theatrics in the midst of apocalyptic threats, wingfic tropes, idek how else to describe it but we are so missing out.

I'm sure more of these are gonna come smack me upside the head at some point but luckily for all of us I'm only haunted by things I read/watched 5+ years ago and eventually we'll run out of those.