#o h god help me
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my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my house is rottin my hous
#first it was the dust#the the silverfish#then the rusty rotten rods in the walls#then the mold in the other living room#then the rotten apples#and the rotting tomatos and onions and lemons and#o h god help me#kittzuxp
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HEY GUYS... i made a realization....
#i forgot that 'polymatsu' was something ppl do...#now listen#im whisperin this because this is extreme guilt pooling inside me....#THIRD s/i thats just me aero .... but parka figthing over me. ...#o h god im gonna trhwo up#why did i say that...#HELP oh GOD OH NO#spice.txt#spice.ososan
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gotta get up early for class tomorrow im so sleepy but i suddenly felt the urge to calculate how much money's been spent on my post secondary education till now and i literally feel nauseous
#LIKE.... what the fuck .#and the way my contribution has been minimal how am i ever gonna like . repay my dad for this#also how does he just .....spend so much . he'll always pay for anything school related w/o saying anything weird#like why is this genuinely making me crysjrjfjskwkfj#i KNEWWWW it was a lot but i was just thinking id love to pay him back for it somehow#so i was like lemme pull up all my undergrad invoices and the current stuff too and i did the math and .....#LIKE I FEEL SICK obv i have Issues w my dad but sometimes i feel so bad for him his dad passed away when he was 15#so i feel like he jas that Thing for like being super present in his kids' lives#and education is like a Biiiiig thing for him bc he had to work and earn and pay for his own (ig his mom helped as much as she could)#THIS IS MAKING ME SOB IM SO SAD#and the way i cant even fucking find a job to at least earn SOMETHINGGGG i can help with its so stupid#anyway idk Whats going on in my brain rn i should sleep god#like im so grateful but theres so much guilt too ??#desi culture is insane bc imagine you work your whole entire life and then you have to pay for every one of ur kids' education weddings etc#OK GOOD NIGHT will i delete this is it too . personal . idk#h talks
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what is the point of having a house if not to let all your friends move in with you for a bit while they get back on their feet
#my coworker was talking about how her sister keeps telling her to move down to nc and live with her for a while but coworker doesn’t want to#bc her sister is ‘too generous’ - she has a guy they were distant friends with as children sleeping on the couch for the past month ish bc h#e was discharged from the military due to too many TBIs and needs a place to stay since he has no family + the spare room is being used for#a few months by another distant past friend who had to drop out of grad school (but she’s moving out next month which is why the sister want#s coworker to move in next)#and i’m like GOD that’s the dream. i want a big big house with a million rooms so everyone knows if they need a place to stay they can come#stay with me. i want all of my friend’s first thought to be ‘ddr can help me out’ when housing is complicated#i wish kayla and nina would live with me i would take naps with kayla and make sure nina eats every few hours and i wouldn’t mind the mess o#r coming/going at strange hours bc bitch me too and also i love you i want you to sleep well i want to be there for you
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Screaming crying throwing up (came up with an absolutely gutwrenching plotpoint and dialogue exchange but has not hope of explaining WHY it's so fucked up to anyone)
#the cat(te) cries#the amount of infodumping. the amount of autism (affectionate)#do you understand the video essay i'd have to write just to convey why like 4 lines of dialogue from me own brains have been destroying me#for t w o w h o l e h o u r s#doesn't help that it comes like 3/4 of the way through something i DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I PLAN ON WRITING good god#i don't wanna write 17 chapters of plot i wanna beam agony into an unwitting onlooker's head
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once again i don't think im strong enough to reblog the next one.
#rennikorambles#laaaake. LAAAAAAKE.#AHUAHUUHGA A A A H H H H#PLE A S E#ME R C Y#they just. HAD to be a set. so it was .. . inevitable buT GOD#AUG H HGH GOD-#deep breaths astro dEEeeEP BREATHS.#you can be normal you can be normal god pLEASE MAKE ME NORMAL#hoo o oo hh h hh h h.. . . . hOH#the first one definitely helped prepare me bUT ITS NOT. MUCH#god GOD#okay. okay. i can do this. i can do this#this is mostly to cheer myself on but also a seveR E warning to everyone. hi im about to lose my marbles again.
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@thirteenmyspacegirl
I have no idea hahahahahahaha help
#physically yes im fine I didn't swallow water or anything#and I didn't *almost die* or anything#it wasn't that dramatic#i said under danger of death because it was a danger of death area 💀 that I didn't check the flag before entering 💀#so when it clocked some MINUTES in which I was trying to swim back with all my force and I didn't get closer to the sand-#well I was like that sucks hard everyone in the beach will think im pathetic if I drown rn#and then I was like oh god this is so embarrassing#and then I tried to shout to the shore for someone to call help but my voice didn't move a meter in front of me#and I couldn't see anyone coming or hear anything because of the waves#so I was like that sucks even harder my muscles are getting sore now and I'll just float into oblivion and nobody will notice#and then when they notice they'll be like oh god that kid's so stupid they fuckin died#and it'd be sooooo embarrassing#i mean can you imagine if they had to use the lifeguard boat to get me out of the big puddle?#the h e l i c o p t e r ??? it'd be pathetic!!#i wouldn't die drowning I'd die of embarrassment!!#13 is sooooo real for that quote about dying being embarrassing#THAT'S what you think about when you're in danger of death#of course you also think wow if nobody comes here to help me I will die because I can't swim back and im helpless#and I am so young and they're all seeing me dying right now but they can't get here to help me#we'll die simultaneously and I'll be the one with the lungs full of water in the end#so that sucks#and then after the THREE (3) lifeguards managed to get me out of the wet place EVERYONE kept repeating the same thing to me#''OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU SCARED US YOU SHOULDN'T GO THERE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THERE AGAIN#BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH'' like I KNOW!!!!! don't you think I've thought about all the ways to scold me while I was about to die??#so I just tried to play it off as okay and fine and haha I won't do that again don't worry don't worry haha but man#I am just a little bit shaken with this ???? like#i didn't almost die#i didn't!!#i was physically safe the entire time even though I was floating into the ocean#so this shit should TRAUMATIZE me
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so do u think anti-israel protesters would take kindly to being reminded how many people, iranian and cuban specifically, the us has and continues to murder via sanctions hitting health services and power, or murder its general fighting against islamic extremism in the region, or about literal armband-wearing neo-nazi ukranians' genocide of russian-ukrainians, who after being oppressed by the government, forbidden from speaking or communicating in Russian, and suffering through a us-led coup that emboldened their oppressors, enacted their right to self-determination in the donbas; and that russia did the right thing by stepping to stop, in addition to refusing to accept the us'--and nato acting as the us' puppet--aggressive posturing and interference in the region? you know, like lebanon and yemen stepping in for palestine, as much as they are able, not being massive nuclear powers? no? performative and myopic, right.
do you think anything less than a brutal ground war the likes of russian in ukraine would stop israel? who is powerful enough aside from a world power to get away with it? these conflicts are actually quite comparable. israel and ukraine/nato aka the us both soundly rejected and/or violated every single peace offering. shit, israel even intentionally murdered officials because they were willing to negotiate a ceasefire/peace.
#lmfao me#the arab states minus lebanon yemen and iran are all cowards and pawns of the west/the us#russia however is not a coward god bless them for ending a genocide helping syria and standing up to the us#america clearly does not give one single fuck if an american is slaughtered here there or anywhere unless it can benefit from pretending to#no healthcare? die. toxic chemical spill? die. poisoned water? die. murdered by genocidal ally? i saw n o t h i n g.#the us is responsible for any cubans who died due to having no power due to sanctions and were thus unprepared for a hurricane btw
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was in my kitchen VIOLENTLY reciting Christopher Plummer's Cyrano de Bergerac balcony scene earlier....why wasn't i born fifty years ago....
#TO HOLD IN MY HAND#SUCH EXQUISITE JOY#I DAREN'T LET GO OF THIS PREVIOUS CHANCE TO SPEAK TO YOU UNSEEN#A DISEMBODIED SPIRIT#YOU TO ME ARE A WHITE GOWN OF SUMMER#IF EVER---OH....#IF EVER I WAS ELOQUENT!#BUT YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD TILL NOW MY TRUE HEART#TRULY SPEAKING#TONIGHT I ADDRESS YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME#MY HEARTS TRUE ESSENCE IS EMBOLDENED BY THIS DARKNESS TO SPEAK OUT!#FREE#FROM THE CHOKING FEAR THAT YOU MIGHT LAUGH AT ME#BECAUSE OF THE UNWORTHINESS OF A FOOL WHO SOUGHT TO CLOTHE HIMSELF IN PURPLE WORDS#OH SHATTER THEM ALL THOSE TOKENS!!#STALE WORDS. STALE H O N E Y#WHAT ARE THEY WORTH#COMPARED TO THE DEEP URGE#THAT SHOUTS! THAT BECKONS OUR BODIES#TO PLUNGE#AND DROWN IN THE WILD RIVER#POETRY IS WORDS A GAME OF WORDS#A MOMENT COMES#AND GOD HELP THOSE FOR WHOM IT NEVER COMES#WHEN LOVE OF SUCH NOBILITY POSSESSES THE SHAKING FRAME#THAT EVEN THE TENDEREST WORDS STINGS LIKE VINEGAR#PUNCTURES LIKE THORN#IN THAT MOST PRECIIOUS INSTANCE I SHALL TAKE ALL WORDS THAT WERE OR WEREN'T OR COULD OR COULDN'T BE#AND IN MAD ARMFULS#I'LL SMOTHER YOU IN THEM
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Imagine riding choso so good that he feels like he's the one who's going to get pregnant
☆ cw. fem! reader, reverse cowgirl, overstim, premature ejac, spanking, milkin’ him, breedīng, mdni.
“h- holy shit..” choso’s eyes widen, leaning back against his fluffed-out pillows. you’re straddling him in reverse, being in the prettiest fuckin’ arch he’d ever seen as you’re playfully wriggling your ass against him. just a few more centimeters and your dripping cunt would’ve been stuffed full of his aching cock. it’s veiny, and multiple veins throb from the lanky sides with pre-cum decorating his ruby tip. “you look so pretty in t.. this view,” he nearly choked on his breath, openly staring at the way your ass continued to still itself to hover over his length.
“tell me when to start, baby,” you softly hum, both hands of yours planting deep in the velveteen sheets. they create a print as your palms sink into the mattress, and your sopping cunt’s so teasing. with a tiny shimmy of your hips, you start to smear your entrance over his tip and you could hear him loudly sucking his teeth.
with a deep, protracted sigh, choso’s hand traces over the outline of your rear - so pretty. he stares at its shape from all angles before feeling his dick twitch the second you arch your back further. “you can start,” he shakily murmurs, and once you gradually start to plop yourself down on his cock he loses it. as his hooded eyelids start to droop, he lets off a soft whine once his cock’s slowly delving inside, pushin’ past the tight ring of your hollow entrance. “o- oh my god, your pussy’s gonna kill me.”
“hng-” you let off a quivering moan, biting the inside of your cheek once it takes him a few seconds to successfully bottom out. choso’s thick, and with the slight add of a prodding curve to his dick, you felt him expand everywhere. in you and through you.
he’s lean ‘n tall, easily fitting inside of your cunt like a puzzle piece.
choso’s got his bare hands glued to your hips the entire time, watching as your ass teasingly presents his pelvis with one big wet flop! choso groans, already feeling his knees starting to get weak at the stability of your greedy hips once you’re starting up a frenetic pace. “mhm, that’s it, baby. jus’ hold my hips.”
“god- you’re so hot,” he lets off a gruff huff, the tips of his ears burning over hundreds of degrees the moment you start to accelerate. your exposed backside was so pretty, especially in this position. choso stared at your jerking body - studying your tensing, flexing muscles and all of their glory. he can’t help but start to feel the inside of his mouth swelling up with salty saliva, and oh- he’s drooling already. “look back at me, princess. w- wanna see you while you ride me good.”
with a playful smile, you twist your torso just a bit to get a short glimpse of choso through your peripherals.
he’s so cute, slouched all the way back against the bed with the neediest pout plastered across his lips. he’s already sweating too - tears of sweat poured down the sides of his forehead and his usual ponytails were more unkempt than usual. “hi baby.” you mirthfully purr, and he grunts once he feels your rhythm starting to quicken. fuck, your hips were a menace.
“h…. hiii.” he hiccups, trying to smile but he only ends up moaning once his tip thrashes its way against your g-spot. right there, right-fuckin’-there, and you let off a small yelp. it’s so tender and choso starts to spasm underneath you. it was something about you riding him in reverse that made him lose his mind. the way you look back at him as you ride him to lewd oblivion, sexily tossing your hips in a circle with that cheeky grin on your sheeny lips—christ..
choso’s rock-hard abs through his white tee tenses against the fleecy fabric of his shirt and he moans. “f- fuck, don’t stop. don’t…fuckin’ stop—yeahhh, yeah like that,” and as your hips relentlessly smack back against him, nearly giving him whiplash, he whimpers. “ah. s- so warm inside, think ‘m hah- gonna make a…mess again, princess. y- your hips, ohmygoddd.”
and he’s just continuing to babble and ramble out all sorts of words with his hands still attached to your waist. he was holding on for dear life, never wanting to let go. choso’s cock dragged through your gummy walls through ‘n through, searching its way through every sloppy orifice and cavity..
you can see how his naturally drowsy eyes were already starting to roll back and his pretty pink tongue’s starting to loll out his mouth. oh- he was definitely drooling, all because of your sweet, sweet pussy. the grip you had was maddening, and each slam of your ass onto his pelvis had him whining out for more. dark thin brows of his crease into a crimped furrow as he’s trying to weakly guide your hips back into him. “mhm, touch me more baby. don’t be.. shy.”
you could feel how hesitant his fingers were, but he couldn’t resist allowing his hands to gently trace and explore down the outlines of your curves. “ughhh, i’m g- gonna,” and he pauses, letting off a husky groan the moment your ass rudely smacks back into him. it’s so impactful that for a second—the half curse was speechless. choso gasps, his eyes widening before he sobs out a crooning whimper. “faster, p…pleaseee. fuck me, r- ride it like it’s your princess. ‘m all yours, a-all yours.”
“s- shit,” you moan, snagging the edges of your teeth with your bottom lip. his dick’s steadily caressing your walls with his fat curve, locating and reaching every spot just to make you whine right with him. each pivotal thrust was killer, and you’re starting to puff out heaving breaths yourself.
choso’s fully laid back now as he watches your ass bounce itself up and down on his length before he starts whimpering again. he sounds so pretty the entire time too—
just babbling out sweet nothings, chanting your name over ‘n over as his swinish hands greedily try to reel your hips back into him. he’s addicted, and your hypnotic rhythm had him hungry for more. choso could almost taste his incoming release—syrupy pollen that’s slowly but surely salivating on his parched flat tongue.
“m..mngh,” he grunts, giving your ass a soft spank. he hears you playfully ‘oooh!’ at the swat of his hand and choso’s cock twitches inside of you. “wanna marry your hips. ‘m gonna…marry y-your hips, baby,” he starts rambling again, moaning at the speed of your rotating ass.
each wet thrust sends him shivers an abrupt rabble of butterflies, and choso’s damn near fully fucked dumb before he starts to whimper aloud yet again. he’s soso sensitive. the wide tip of his reddened shiny tip continues to swirl its way around the bulb of your clit before within seconds later—he finally cums… hard.
“oh, fuuuck—fuck,” he lets out a gargled whine and the carnal squelches of your cunt slamming against his lap get louder. choso erupts like a violent volcano - active ribbons of his handmade lava slowly pumping inside of your deprived cunt. choso’s sharp breaths become raspy as he feels your hips coming to a devastating halt, and he licks his lips. “t- thank you, thank you, thaaank you baby.” and you didn’t even know what he was thanking you for.
choso’s eyes close as he’s still filling slimy thin clods of cum inside of your puffed pussy.
it’s hot - and you then bring a hand toward your left ass cheek, squeezing it while still gradually fucking back against him. you’re reaaaal slow, working your hips on his active cock that’s spilling so much from the tip and the twitching sides. choso grabs onto the back of the wooden creaking headboard, and his abs clench as he watches the mess start to dribble further down between your thighs. a white puddling mess of his seed that’s drooling straight out of your flooded cunt makes him moan. “b- baaaby..” he swallows thickly, his ravened eyes fixated on your pretty plump ass that’s perfectly arched over his lap. “hah- think you just…impregnated me.”
“cho, that’s not possible,” you tease, and he moans once the warmth of your cunt starts to fade the second you get up. right away, a sloppy string of his cum glosses onto your slick entrance as you ‘pop’ his dick from between your sprawled numb legs. you turn around, straddling him from the front now, before kissing the side of his twitching mouth. “i can’t impregnate you, silly.”
“o- oh! right… um,” he breathes, sticky black bangs running down his eyes.
choso grabs your waist, a thumb shamefully swiping down the center of your runny pussy. so . . much. he locks eyes with you for a long four seconds as you’re now grinding your drenched folds against his flaccid cock that rests on his tummy. choso cutely scratches his head, and he lets off a soft whine once you sneak a wet kiss on his rosy lips. “i mean- i can try to impregnate you then.”
with a hum, you nibble on his chin. “mhm, wanna test that theory then, baby?”
choso’s so cunt-drunk that’s he’s just entirely dumbfounded. intently, he’s staring right into your eyes—barely registering a thing you just said before he cups your chin, panting at the shocks of rapture. choso’s still faintly whining under his breath before he smears a thumb over your wet-slick lips, lovingly.
“l- let’s get married,” and you gasp once he gingerly spanks your ass, an inaudible sign for you to ride him again—this time from the front so he could visibly watch your pretty face. “make me a daddy, princess, w.. wanna be all yours. please..”
#★vegasbaby.#FUUUUCK ME#choso x reader#choso smut#choso x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#female reader#aggnm
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One word: F O R E H E A D
Hey! This is my take on the beautiful hair EA ruined by being unaware of basic human anatomy! Because a receding hairline goes BACK on the head, and not UP! That would be Ki-Adi-Mundi!!!!!!!!
There's an overlay version too!
BGC
All Lods
Hat Chops
24 EA Colors
40 Puppy Crow Colors (You will need the mesh with the EA colors)
Acc Streaks (88 colors, including the extra EA ones, located on PIERCINGS)
TOU
💜 • DOWNLOAD • 💗
PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING ON KO-FI OR BECOMING A PATRON. I’m struggling to pay my college tuition and buying my ADHD meds, I can't work or study without them and, right now, I'm not making enough money to cover both issues. Please, consider sharing too, if you can’t help. Thank you for the support :)
Adding to my usual begging moment, and again I'm really sorry about this because I hate this more than you do, but I am really struggling. My parents aren't making enough money, me neither. I feel like I'll only be free of this situation when i graduate, but for now, please consider donating. If each one of you donated $1 dollar, it would clear my entire debt AT ONCE. I'm not joking. Just please consider helping <3 Love you, may God bless us all.
#the sims 4#ts4#sims 4#ts4cc#s4cc#the sims 4 custom content#ts4mm#the sims community#the sims cc#simblr
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i hate hate hate siblings so much. Some days i don't see you at all and I don't even notice because i haven't left my room. Some other days the fact that you're gone makes the house quiet, and i hate it. I hate you (i don't)
#god#help#siblings are. s o m e t h i n g#it's like#i would rather wish you were never born because to wish you were dead would be to hope my heart stops beating#if you were never born then i wouldn't know you; if you died i would miss you#you annoy me to death. i love you so much#siblings
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O H HOLY FUCKING SHIT--
Big bad wolf Mal with 'em chompers 🤭 /silly
how did you guess?
Anyways
Woof
@animatronic-assistant , you inspired this unintentionally so you get tagged
Also @stormbreaker-290 cuz I know you're into this kind of stuff <3
#COAST D ONT LOOK IM SORRUY-#JE SUS FUCK ING CHRIST OH MY GOD FUCK OH STARS ABOVE#FU K FUCK FUCK FUXK DUCK UFKC FUKC FU KFUCKFU K UFK FU KFUCKFU KFU KFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKHFJCHDNCHSJDHSJSHSJXHSJDHSKDHJDHSBDHSJDHSCNSJCJDHEHSAJNX#OH M Y GOD#OHMYGOD????????'+++(??'+!?!'+'????:+(:??(:?????:((?:??:#HOLY FUCKING FUCK HSHSNXHSJDHSJYDUEHSSJDHSJDHSKJXSKBXNXUSHDYWISHUSHDJSHXHDHCNDJXBSHDHDUSHJSNXNCCJXHDUSYSJDBDJCHSJHDBSJDHSUDHSJXHSJCBDJXHSJXJ#O H HEAVENS ABOVE ILL MEET YOU THERE SOON CUZ I AM ABOUT TO ASCEND J E S U S FUCKING FUCK OH MY S H IT-#AGGRESSIVELY SHAKING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE BITING AND GNAWING OH MYGODOH MY GOD O H MYGO D#HE L P ME I CANT FUCK ING HANG OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD#IM GOING FUCKING INSANE JESUS CRISPY SOMEONE SNAP ME OUT OF IT OH MY FUCK#HAHSHSBDBSHXNSHSSHJCNDJDHSNDSNXJSSHSJKFBSNXHSJDHSJXHSKHCJSHDJSHXSNDJSBDHDJDHDNFHSNCHSJDJAHSHEHDNEHSGAGHSNAHDKDHWJDHSCHSHS#OKAY YEAH MAYBE I AM A FURRY I DONT CARE TAKE ONE GOOD LOOK AT THIS SEXY FUCKING BASTARD AND TELL ME YOU BLAME ME GOOD LORD#HDSJUEAJHDJEHSHDBSKSUEJSNXJSDHEEUWIDHWJDHSKDJSNDBSKHEIWHDNSBDJSHCNJDEIHSDJ FU K CING HELL#SIR HELP I THINK I NEED MOUTH TO MOUTH CUZ YOU JUST TOOK MY BREATH AWAY HOT DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HEGEHEHSJSBBEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEGGSHEGEGHEHEBSHEHEHEBEHWBEHEJEHEHEHEHEBEDBHEHEEHHEHEHEHEGEBDHDHCJFNSUSMFMMDMVJDKVJVKVJCJFJJDFKFJFKFKFKCNFJVKDKCJ#O H MY FUCKING STARS HES SO GODDAMN FINE I AM RUNNING AROUND ON ALL FOURS BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS HOLY FUCK ING FU C K#HEHEJEUHWHWJEHWHYUEEHEHHAYEURJDHCNCJDJHSKFIDJEKCHSKCHSHXKCKVMDUDUEUSKCHSSJDICJSHCKSHDKHCKSHCJDUDOFJCJSHCKHSIFHDJXHCJXJDKSHCIDHSJDKSJX#MALWARE MY BELOVED
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luckily for you i get all weak when im smiley so. you have a natural bite attack debuff. SAD. how am i supposed to get any blood that way. tch 🦟
no dont be a mosquito mosquitos hate me <///3
#both in the context of I ALWAYS GET BIT BY THEM EVERY SUMMER IF I GO OUT#and in the context of they dont bite me#like its a 50/50#whenever i go outside in the summer or early fall and its mosquito season OH B O Y#will i come back home ITCY as FUCK in places I DIDNT KNOW EXSISTED? ( i got so many bites on my knuckes at one point a u g hh h hh )#doesnt help that my state ( and this slightly publicly doxxes me but i could delete it later )#my state is literally known for BIG A S S mosquitos#and like H U G E i#ive seen these fuckers#as big as my hand#my head#once jsdghsd#but the further you are from city the bigger they are and thank god im not out often#so#woo#either way#dont be a mosquito#pls#anon#emoji anon#<3
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rosy
더 깊이 빠져들겠지 더 조금씩 더 조금씩 넌...
you don't know how to give a hickey.. what are friends for if not to help each other with these things?
pairing: bff!felix × gn!reader
wc: 4.3k
content: nonidol au, fluff, not rly smut but suggestive (mdni pls), shy/inexperienced reader, hickeys (duh), reader is like slightly germophobic idk, a lot of teasing, no use of y/n
a/n: i am so delusional i need to bite this mans neck badly. and yes this is my username. yes it's the loona song. lol
[also read on ao3]
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
—
God, you should have just kept your mouth shut.
“You don't know how to give a hickey?”
You shake your head and cover your face, hiding from Felix, who's sitting next to you on his bed.
“Wait, really? Like you've never even tried it on yourself?” he asks.
“No?! What, people actually do that?” Your hands lower slightly to reveal your eyes widening.
He breathes out a laugh and you hit his arm. “It's not funny!”
“It's kind of funny.”
“Shut up. I just— like— I never… whatever.” He poorly conceals a teasing smile. “Shut up or you're literally not getting any cinnamon rolls tomorrow. In fact, lemme ask Hannie if he wants your extras.” You pull out your phone.
Before you can do anything, Felix swiftly moves closer to you, his hand pushing yours down. “Whoa, whoa, hey.. that's a little drastic, yeah? Have I ever told you how much I love and appreciate you? ..And your cinnamon rolls?” He smiles sweetly, batting his eyelashes at you.
You grumble but drop the phone and shake his hand away, pursing your lips to fight a smile. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence.
…And then Felix ruins it.
“But you've kissed people before, right?”
You look at him incredulously. “Did I not say to shut up??” you shriek.
“Is that a no?” He giggles. He fucking giggles. You want to punch his pretty face.
“Lee Felix Yongbok I will smite you down right here where you stand if you don't—”
He puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay wait, sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I just mean, it's kind of like the same thing, you know?”
“The same as what? Giving a h-hickey?” You can't help but stutter a little.
“Yeah like it's… I'll show you.”
Felix suddenly moves so he's in front of you and gently grabs your arm. He'll show you?! Literally what. What the hell. You let out a small squeak and instinctively lean away from him.
“Relax, I just meant here,” he touches your arm. “Is that okay?”
You stare at him.
“...Or I could show it on myself but I thought it might be better to feel it? Or I don't have to do it at all of course,” he says quickly.
Oh. It takes a second but the gears in your head start slowly turning enough to respond.
“Oh.” Well, okay, that wasn't as much of a response as you meant to give.
Felix laughs softly and pulls his hand away from your arm. “Sorry, it's too weird, right? No worries.”
But wait, you're actually curious. And isn't it better to figure it out before you inevitably make a fool out of yourself in front of someone else? It makes you a bit nervous but… you're comfortable with Felix. “No, wait, you can uh... show me…?”
His eyebrows raise for a second but then he smiles. “You sure?”
You nod. You still feel a little dazed and you're not really cognizant enough to actually do anything but watch him as he moves closer again. Your arm must feel like a dead weight but he lifts it up and lowers his head, placing a chaste kiss on your inner wrist. “This okay? Usually you um... start with kissing.”
“O-Oh, okay, yeah..” you murmur. What is this sudden weird atmosphere? Maybe you're the only one feeling it. Felix doesn't seem too phased, but you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. Shit, can he feel your pulse right now? You really hope not.
He flashes a shy smile and places another kiss there, and another a little higher, and another, and it feels way too intimate and sends shivers up your spine. Slowly, he moves up your forearm, stopping right before your elbow.
“So… then.. you just wanna like... suck,” he says before doing just that, right below the crook of your elbow.
Oh. It feels weird. You must have made a noise or something because he looks up at you through dark lashes, a smile playing on the corners of his lips. You swallow. What the actual hell is happening right now?
After holding excruciating eye contact for what feels like an eternity, he lets his eyes close. Thank god, because it was making your chest feel tight and weird. You continue to stare as he continues kissing and sucking at your arm, face absolutely burning at the strange sensation.
You've literally lost the freaking plot. You just sit there, no semblance of time passing. After about twenty seconds? Twenty minutes? It literally could have been either — he finally pulls away, with a final kiss and light drag of his teeth against your skin.
You hold your breath as he sits up and gently maneuvers your arm so you could see the fruits of his labor. He clears his throat. “Um, so… it's starting to show up. See?” he says a little breathlessly.
You nod, unsure what to say when your best friend literally just sucked a hickey onto your arm. A very platonic hickey. Okay. This is fine. This is totally normal right? It must be or he wouldn't have offered. ..Right? You stare down at the bruise starting to blossom on your arm and finally chance a glance at Felix, but he also has his head down, staring at your arm.
Suddenly as if on cue, his head jerks up. When he sees you looking at him he grins. “Cool, right? How does it feel?”
“Weird…” you mumble. How can he be so nonchalant about this? You want to strangle him.
He nods. “It might be a little sensitive for a bit.” He runs his fingers lightly over the reddening area and you immediately see what he means. It feels tender and tingly under his touch. You shiver. “So.. you think you get how to do it now?” he asks.
“Um… yeah, I mean, maybe?”
“Do you wanna try?”
“Try? What, on… on your arm?!”
A slight blush creeps up his face and he shrugs. “Sure, or wherever… my arm, or my neck since that's where it's usually…”
You feel your face heat up as well. “I…”
“I just thought, if you wanna like, practice? But of course you don't have to.” He looks away and shrugs again, seeming a little embarrassed for suggesting it.
You open and close your mouth over and over again like a fish. Like a stupid dumb fish who somehow got itself reeled into this crazy situation. But honestly, the more you think about it, the offer to practice is tempting. When would you get another opportunity like this? Probably never. And… you trust Felix more than anyone else.
“...Is it really okay?” you ask hesitantly.
Felix looks up, blinking a few times before smiling. “Of course. I mean, it's only fair since I did it on you,” he laughs softly. He seems happy but also a little surprised that you actually appeared to be agreeing to his offer. Honestly, you're surprised too.
“Right, um…” you mumble. You shuffle a little closer to him. His hand slides down from your elbow to your hand, rubbing gentle circles on the back of it with his thumb. To reassure you, you think. It's a sweet gesture.
You lean in slightly towards his neck, deciding that if you do it here, you can hide your face from him and avoid any eye contact. “Um, can I...? Where should I…?”
You're so close to him. You can hear his breath catch a little before he points to the side of his neck with his free hand. “Around here,” he says, his voice somehow getting impossibly lower.
You swallow, the reality of the situation suddenly sinking in. As you lean in further you bite your lip, anxious. You need to break this tension somehow. You just can't do this right now. “Um.. um… do you wash your neck?” you blurt out.
Felix leans back a little. “Do I... do I wash my neck? That's what you're worried about?” he laughs.
“Some people probably don't!” you exclaim. Then you sigh. “Ugh, s-sorry, that's stupid, right? You literally licked my arm,” you let out a nervous laugh. “I just— I don't know. It feels icky. Germs.”
He hums. “You're not stupid.” A pause. “But, I can proudly say I do wash my neck.” He presses his lips together, clearly suppressing another laugh and you just know he's about to tease you. “Wow, how do you even kiss people if you're this worried about germs?”
“Shut up,” you grumble, leaning back into his neck a little to hide your face, your breath hot on his neck. He inhales sharply and seems surprised and, you think, a little panicked?
You instantly pull away. “Felix, are you sure?” You chew on your lip. Is this a bad idea after all?
“Yeah, I-I... yeah, of course,” he says, a little breathless, but you're not entirely convinced. You start to move away fully but he quickly grabs your arm again. “No.. no, wait. Please,” he whispers. You see him visibly try to relax, taking a deep breath in and out. “It's okay. I promise. I was just caught off guard.”
“Sorry,” you whisper.
“No, no, you're good, you're fine. It was me.” Felix clears his throat and rubs your arm reassuringly.
You take a deep breath. “Okay… so.. here?” You lean back in to where you were previously, breath hitting his neck.
He swallows, and you see it because his Adam's apple bobs up and down right in front of your face. What the fuck. “Yeah. Just go slow and… you can start with kissing if you want. Don't overthink it,” he mumbles, sounding more like he's reminding himself of something.
You nod and slowly, so slowly, you lean in the rest of the way and press your lips to his neck.
You expected him to remain still but a small breathy noise escapes him and he leans his head further back, exposing more of his neck in the process. You swear you can feel his pulse thrumming under your lips. “Good... um.. yeah, just... kiss a little bit and then suck. You can use your tongue, too,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, but you can feel the vibrations against your lips when he speaks. What the fuck.
Your head feels fuzzy. You hesitantly place a kiss on his neck, and then another a little higher, and another, until you reach an area you're satisfied with. You almost want to pull away but remember Felix's words. Right. Just try not to overthink it…
He pulls a breath in through his teeth when you press an open-mouthed kiss and start sucking gently. At the same time, your tongue darts out almost automatically and touches his skin.
You feel him swallow thickly. “Y-You gotta… harder…” he murmurs. “Or it won't mark.”
You hesitate. “Won't it hurt?”
He blinks hard and shakes his head slightly. “Don't worry… I-I'll tell you if it hurts, okay? Just try. Do it like I did.”
You nod and take a deep breath before trying again, this time in earnest, sucking harder and pulling his skin between your lips and even past your teeth.
“Yeah,” he breathes out, his grip on your arm tightening, “Like... like that. And you can.. use your teeth a little too.” His voice is getting thick, low, and raspy and, god, you feel a little dizzy.
But you want to please him, so you bite down softly and let your teeth run over the area. A quiet, high-pitched whine escapes his lips, and his hand shoots up to cover his mouth, body jerking back slightly. He suddenly seems to realize the noise he made and looks at you, wide-eyed.
You pull back again, a little breathless. “D-Did it hurt?” You really didn't think you bit that hard, but you can't hide the worry in your voice.
His hand drops from his mouth, face flushed and breathing labored. His eyes look a little dialed out. “No... no, it didn't.. hurt.” It seems like it takes all his strength just to say that. “Sorry, I just...” he takes a few more seconds to gather himself, “Um, kinda sensitive…”
…Sensitive? Oh. Oh. It was good. He liked it. You almost sigh in relief. But then… wait. He's sensitive there. He… Your brain isn't working. You find yourself leaning back in to his neck without thinking.
Felix doesn’t protest, just sits back, exposing more of his neck to you. You feel his body shudder when you lightly drag your teeth over the area before attaching your mouth more firmly and sucking at his skin.
He can’t stop the whimper from leaving his throat. “That feels really good.. you’re doing good,” he pants.
Your heart swells from the praise and you double down on your efforts. You hear him try to suppress another whimper but it’s more strained this time. It happens again and again, little noises and whines that you're not sure if he's even aware he's making. Every noise pulls and tugs at something in your stomach.
It feels intimate, so insanely intimate and you think you might combust on the spot if you go any longer. It's a bit nerve-wracking to pull away and face Felix but you force yourself to, licking your lips as you retreat.
Your eyes immediately widen at the sight in front of you. A pretty, deep pink bruise begins to blossom on his neck and your heart skips a beat at the realization that you did that to him.
Felix hasn't said anything. Is he upset? You chance a glance at his face and—
Oh. His eyes are closed and a faint sheen of sweat coats his flushed face, which is pulled taught in a mixture of bliss and something like pain. His chest is heaving, breath coming out in quick gasps. You stare at him, the only thought in your mind being: God, he's gorgeous like this.
He blinks rapidly and seems to finally come to. When he finally refocuses his gaze on you, he lets out a shaky exhale that turns into a weak laugh.
“...Good?” he asks.
Good? Good? Your head is spinning. It's not good. Nothing is good. Life is meaningless and everything you know exists on a floating rock spinning in the void and you think you're gonna pass out and never wake up. It's not good. It's fucking crazy. But you just mumble, “It's… showing up, I think…”
He raises an eyebrow. “That right? Let me see then.”
Felix grabs his phone and pulls up the camera, angling it so he has a clear view of his neck. He lets out a soft whistle, bringing his hand up to feel where the hickey is. You watch dumbly as he presses his fingers on it and lets out a shaky sigh. Then he looks at you and grins before throwing you a thumbs-up. “You did great. It's already pretty dark.”
You actually want to kill him. Your brain is melting and he's acting like this is the most normal afternoon of his life. Maybe it is. Does Felix do this type of thing often? The thought makes you shiver.
You throw your hands over your face. “I-I didn't mean for it to be that—like—ugh…”
His smile softens. “Hey, hey, you don't have to be embarrassed. It's…” he searches your face for a second and suddenly reaches over to gently pull your hands away. “It's not that bad. You did really good. Besides, it’s my neck, yeah?” His tone shifts to more of a teasing one, like he’s amused you’re overreacting a little. It just serves to frustrate you more.
You sigh. “Um… I really��it's really okay..?”
He nods. “Yeah, of course it is. It’s just a little mark, nothing serious.” He looks at you thoughtfully for a bit and you feel yourself getting flushed under his gaze. “You know.. you can try it again. If you want. Just to practice. Or for science, or whatever.” He laughs.
What. You’re stunned into silence. Science? You stare at him incredulously and he just grins back before leaning even further forward. This can't be your Felix. This is actually crazy.
Felix smiles at your dumbfounded expression. “…Come on.” He brings a hand up to your face and pokes at your cheek softly. “Do it again. Try a different spot. Make it darker.”
He's obviously teasing you. So you're flabbergasted when what comes out of your mouth is, “W-Where..?” Where? Literally what are you saying. Like, where is the nearest exit? Where has your own sanity gone? That's what you should be asking.
He shrugs. “Anywhere. The other side?” He points to the unmarked side of his neck. Then he pushes his shirt down slightly, revealing a sliver of his shoulder and collarbone before looking back at you, eyes expectant with a bit of an impish gleam. “Maybe.. here?” he mumbles.
Your head spins. Oh yeah, you're definitely gonna pass out. It's so over. Life and death and the universe… fucking craziness. You're falling. You're dying. Everything is melting. Nothing's real.
Oh wait, you're actually falling, your head plopping down on his shoulder as you let out an embarrassed groan.
You hear him laughing softly. “Someone's eager—”
You’re a bit confused but then your eyes focus on the place your head is now laying and—Oh god, you’re right where his shoulder and neck meet. Right where he just told you to suck a hickey. Great.
You instantly lift your head up, face burning. “No, I didn't—I wasn't trying to—”
He brushes the hair out of your face. “Hey, it's okay, I'm not forcing you or anything. Are you overwhelmed?”
“Um, yeah, but— y-yeah. Sorry.” God. How pathetic do you look right now?
“Don't apologize. I was just teasing. It makes sense to be overwhelmed. It's a new experience.” He sits back and laughs but there’s a bit of a nervous waver to it. “You're fine, seriously. Maybe we got a little carried away, huh?”
“Uhh— yeah….”
He gives you an apologetic look. “I'm sorry for being pushy. Let's just... just forget about the whole thing, yeah? Let's play some video games or something.” He clears his throat.
He's moving on but your head is still spinning. This really is the most normal afternoon for him, you think. Because how is he so chill? Your body is still buzzing with nervous energy and you can't just switch off and forget about it, can you?
You can't. “Uh— Uh, wait—...”
“...Yeah?”
You drop your head back down onto his shoulder. “Um… is it bad if I… kinda…”
You trail off and he doesn’t respond for a few seconds. You don’t dare move, waiting for something, anything. When he finally does say something his voice sounds strained. “Kinda what?” he asks quietly.
“Um.” Fuck. “Nevermind.” You go to draw back but Felix quickly places a hand at the back of your head, preventing any movement.
You hear him exhale quietly. “I don't mind, you know,” he whispers. “You can do it. If you... if you want to.” He slowly starts running his fingers through your hair. “If you wanna practice. The more you practice, the more comfortable you'll be with it, right?”
You hum against his shoulder, the justification mulling around in your head. Of course. Of course that's why you want to. For practice. For science.
He continues. “Yeah, do it. Uh, j-just, I mean— if you want. A-As practice. Try to… see how dark you can make it… or… ” For all the talk he was making before, he stutters now, and you can't help but find it a little endearing. Maybe he's actually a little nervous as well.
Fuck it. Who cares. You've lost the plot. You press your mouth against his skin, giving a few open-mouthed kisses before gently sucking at it.
You hear his breathing stutter and he shifts slightly. “Yeah, j-just…” he lets out a shaky sigh and presses his hand a bit more firmly on the back of your head, bringing you closer to him. The angle is still a bit awkward to reach, so without much thinking, you crawl slightly onto his lap.
“Oh,” he mumbles, his body goes tense for a second before relaxing again. He's completely still, like if he moves you’ll pull away, but eventually his fingers start running through your hair again. It isn't a particularly suggestive position, you're sitting back more towards his knees, but suddenly everything feels charged with tension.
You hear a low, almost imperceptible groan as you continue sucking lightly from the new angle. “You're doing really well,” he mutters encouragingly. “Just a little more… harder. And like, bite a little, remember?”
Right. You comply and bite down a little. Felix lets out a small whine, hand tightening in your hair. “Good… uh, just like that..” he mumbles. “You can try moving a little more, if you want—”
You don't need to hear more, instantly moving your mouth higher up his neck without much thought. His fingers slide down until his hands are completely resting between your shoulder blades, pressing you closer. Shivers run down your spine where he touches and you attach your lips to the side of his Adam's apple.
“A-Ah…” a shaky moan escapes him, taking both of you by surprise. His hands suddenly jump down to grip your waist tightly. Oh. He seems much more sensitive here. You swear you're dizzy. Maybe you're dying. You think you’re fine with that honestly.
You want to bite him. You let your teeth sink into the skin a little. He lets out a shaky half-laugh, half-groan, tilting his head back and pulling you towards him. “Y-You learn quickly.” A deep pink flush runs high on his cheeks, and his breaths are unsteady. You’ve never seen him like this, so undone, and it's making you feel powerful. You want more.
You decide to give in to that and bite down harder, feeling his body jerk. He moans, breathy, and whispers, “Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that feels so good.” One of his hands moves to the back of your neck, fingers gently grasping the base of your hair. His thumb brushes up against your earlobe and for some reason it sets tingles off all down your spine.
…Does it really feel that good? You can't help but wonder. It mostly just felt weird on your arm but you suppose that's different. Different from your. Neck. Oh fuck, now you're thinking about it. His mouth on your neck. His mouth on your neck. You're floating. You're crashing. Everything is cool. Everything is burning.
Your brain is practically short-circuiting and you start sucking on the same spot before pulling back just enough to bite down and suck at it again, this time a little harder.
His breath stutters and you feel his head tilt to give you more access. There's another small gasp that comes out as a strained “Fuuuck…” when you continue. You think you're actually delirious at this point.
Then, “W-wait..” he says urgently, his chest heaving. His hand that was on your neck slides down to grab your shoulder now.
“That's… good. We should.. stop. I…” he pants heavily.
You pull away instantly. “O-Okay. Yeah. Sorry.” You feel restless, fidgety, more than just from nerves.
“No, you're fine, god. It's me. I'm getting too…” he shakes his head. “You did really good, I…” He presses his hands against his eyes and takes a few deep, slow breaths.
When he drops his hands he seems mostly back to normal. “Um.” He laughs a little. “We, uh… how's it look?”
You stare at his neck and shoulder. Oh, fuck. In truth, it looks fucking insane. Like he got mauled or something. Oh my god. That was you. What came over you?
He raises an eyebrow at your silence. “Guess I gotta see for myself,” he says and places his hands on your waist to lift you up and off of his lap. As if you weigh literally nothing. What the fuck.
With your head still reeling at how he lifted you like you're nothing, you don't really notice him reaching for his phone to see himself until you hear him suck in a breath.
“Wow… I'm gonna get so many comments tomorrow.”
“What?!” you shriek. Oh god. Of course it'll take a few days to fade. You hadn't even thought about that. The light mark on your arm is easy to brush off as nothing but the rosy hues on his neck are unmistakable.
He laughs. “I'm just kidding. I'll have to.. cover it with makeup I guess. Don't worry.”
“You better…” you mumble, embarrassed.
He hums. “Hmm… Well it isn't really fair... What should I do…” He leans in, studying your flushed face. “Wanna match?” he says with a cheeky grin.
“What?? Felix!”
“I'm joking! Jeez…” He pokes your cheek. “Unless all this blushing isn't just from embarrassment and you're actually into this?”
Your face is positively burning. “Shut up. You're annoying as hell,” you grumble.
He gasps dramatically. “After I gave up my sanctity for you to practice on me? This is how you treat me?”
You can't help but giggle at his dramatics but you quickly steel your expression and glare at him equally as dramatically.
You're really grateful everything seems to be normal on his end. You're trying your best to act the same, but in truth, you feel like a fucking mess. His joking comment about you being into this… No, definitely not. There's no way. It's probably just because it's your first time doing this with anyone, so of course it's going to feel crazy and weird and confusing. Right? Yeah. But still. Even long after the two of you move on, playing video games and hanging out like normal, you can't shake the feeling that something's weird. Something shifted. You don't know what the fuck it is though. You just try not to think about it.
How are you actually supposed to go back to normal after this?
—
a/n: so on a scale of 1 to 10 how painfully obvious is it that i've never given a hickey in my life.
no but um haha any feedback good or bad would be super appreciated!! pls leave a like or reblog if u enjoyed it makes me so happy. tysm for reading <3
part 2
#i've never written reader fics before i hope this is ok#i was supposed to edit it more but i didnt#i hope its readable#hope reader isnt too unbearable lmfao#anyway i might do a pt 2 cus im crazy#felix fic#felix fanfic#lee felix fluff#felix fluff#felix smut#skz felix#felix x reader#stray kids x reader#felix imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids hard thoughts#skz fic#skz imagines#skz fanfiction#lee felix#lee felix smut#lee felix fic#lee felix x reader
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Is there any way to platonically call some “ethereal”? Asking for a friend
#help#like genuinely#I do not know#my best friend who I am totally not in love with just told me I look ethereal and like#what???? am I meant to be normal after that one???????#like o h my god this yearning thing is not as fun as media makes it look#mine#posts to delete if she joins tumblr
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