#nursery closet organization

[harryspet]

homestead [4] r.cameron

[warnings] dark!rafe cameron x pregnant!reader, farmer!rafe, pogue!reader, jj maybank x reader, kidnapping, DUBCON, little editing,READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: Pls reblog and let me know what you think!

word count: 3.6k

In which you can't escape from your inner turmoil, even in your dreams.

homestead masterlist

Tending to the entire house was hard work. You thought you’d be bored sooner than you actually ended up. It seemed there was always more to do with all the cooking you were doing and the laundry that Rafe went through. Sometimes, you imagined adding the demands of feeding a newborn every few hours or chasing a toddler around to your already packed routine. The thought was daunting, but you had signed up for it, knowing it would be difficult yet now you were relieved you wouldn’t be financially struggling through it.

Your growing belly had started to interfere with your daily chores. It was harder to breathe when you exerted yourself, and frequent trips to the bathroom were now the norm. Rafe never complained when the house wasn't perfect, but you knew it was because he was trying to regain your trust after losing control in the nursery. He wanted you to come to him willingly, but you weren’t mentally ready for that. When Rafe did touch you, he restrained his darker impulses, and while you never enthusiastically said “yes,” you found yourself denying him less and less.

When Rafe started leaving his bedroom unlocked, you knew it was safe to start cleaning it. You mostly used this time to snoop around. You weren’t sure what contact he kept with the outside world. He made sure you weren’t privy to the details of his business, and he never called his family when you were around. 

His room was like yours in many ways, yet distinctly different. You felt a more masculine presence than the rest of the farmhouse. The walls were a deep charcoal gray, and the bed had a thick, woolen blanket that looked inviting enough, but the large wooden bed frame was imposing. Heavy, dark curtains framed the windows on either side of the bed, and there was a seating area on one side of the room with a leather armchair next to a couple of shelves containing a few trinkets and books. Rafe’s closet contained your most considerable curiosity, a substantial black safe. 

The way Rafe opened the house to you was purposeful, he wanted you to feel welcome here, but he couldn’t deny he had secrets. You knew at least a few of those secrets were inside that safe. 

Every time you went inside the closet to put away Rafe’s laundry or organize his clothes, you thought about the years that had passed and everything you didn’t know about him. You were in one of those moments, standing in Rafe’s closet, when you heard the shower start in the connecting room. Rafe had appeared from an afternoon in the fields. You weren’t sure if he hadn’t realized you were there, but he’d already started undressing, his chiseled frame glistening with sweat and dirt. 

“Hey,” You whispered, not wanting to startle him, but he was already grinning at the sight of you.

“Hey, Honey,” He started to undo his belt, and you felt trapped, most of his figure blocking the view of the bathroom doorway, “How you doing?”

You shrugged like you usually did, “Fine, I was just …hanging up your dress shirts.”

“Nice,” He slid off his pants, and you weren’t sure why you didn’t avert your eyes; maybe because you felt yourself starved from any other human connection expect Rafe’s, “I’ll be gone for longer than usual tomorrow.”

“Cameron Development business?”

He didn’t confirm nor deny, “You mind picking out my clothes? You have a better eye for colors and stuff, you know?”

“Sure,” You took that as your opportunity to stop staring at the figure that seemed to be growing even more pristine as the manual labor toned his muscles. You resented it slightly, feeling less and less like yourself as your child grew inside of you. 

The closet was a strange mix of outdoor clothing and high-end suits, a signal of the true duality of Rafe’s life. Thanks to you, it was more organized now, and you spent time scanning the rows of clothes. You chose a tailored navy suit, thinking of his muscular build and the deep blue of his eyes. You paired it with a crisp, white dress shirt and a tie with a subtle, sophisticated pattern of navy and silver. Completing the look, you picked out his polished, black leather dress shoes and matching belt. 

You hadn’t realized just how much time you spent mulling it over. As soon as you laid it out on top of the closet’s chaise lounge chair, Rafe stood beside you with a towel wrapped around his waist. 

“I’m impressed,” He said, leaning over to peck your cheek. 

“Thanks.”

“Stay with me in my room tonight,” Rafe said, his fingers trailing down from your shoulder to your arm. He moved in closer, leaning down to kiss below your ear, “Missed you all day.”

“Rafe,” You sighed as he placed a kiss lower on your neck. In saying his name, you said a million different things. It was a warning that you might resist, that you loved his touch but hated how much you did. 

“I gave you your own space because of your …condition. But after the baby comes, this is going to become our room. I want you to get comfortable here.”

Again, it felt like he was asking the world of you. You imagined laying next to him night after night and him rolling over, taking what he wanted from you anytime he liked. When you thought about it for a moment longer, it wasn’t much different than how things were now. 

“I…I wanted to ask you something,” You placed a hand on his chest and he placed his larger one over yours.

“Yeah?”

“Now that I’m in my third trimester, I’ve been thinking more about, you know, giving birth,” You found it hard to meet his eyes, but you did your best, especially as they started to narrow at you, “With me being here, I guess I don’t know what my plan is anymore.”

“Don’t worry, Honey,” Rafe said, “You think I don’t have a plan?”

“I didn’t know how far we were from the hospital-”

You felt his heart quicken underneath your touch, “A hospital is like, not even Plan C, it’s Plan E. You’ll do it here. People do home births all the time.”

Your face fell quickly, and you pulled your hand from him, “You’re not serious.”

“I’ve been doing my research. As long as we have the proper people involved and the right equipment, it can work!”

“It’s my first pregnancy, Rafe! I want a real hospital with lots of nurses and a real doctor. I want an epidural, and I want my baby to have immediate medical care if he needs it. You’re crazy!”

“It’s not happening.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You cursed, your temper flaring. He grabbed your wrist, keeping you from stepping away, “Get away from me!”

“Calm down,” Rafe grabbed both of your arms, pinning you in front of him, “This is why I didn’t fucking bring it up.”

“Let go of me,” You gritted your teeth, “Please.”

“You have to trust me. I can handle this.”

“I don’t want you … I don’t want just you to handle everything,” you replied, trying to find your calm, knowing you might set him off pretty soon. “Please, just—we have to be able to discuss this more. If you need reassurance that I won’t run or tell anyone what happened, then I will do whatever. I care about the baby more than myself.”

“I wouldn’t put you or the baby in harm's way.”

“I know,” you lied.

“Then don’t imply that I would.”

 “Can you just be open-minded about this?”

His eyes held a lot of emotions, but he nodded. As if each of you were frightened of escalating each other further, you pulled away from each other. 

“I want to sleep in my bed; I toss and turn so much, and my pillow-”

“Go ahead, I don’t give a shit,” Rafe crossed his arms, giving in so quickly that your eyes widened in shock. You didn’t waste the opportunity, scurrying off as quickly as your legs would take you. 

You didn’t see Rafe for the rest of that night and were grateful he wasn’t around the next day, either. 

“I like the name Kai,” you said, looking up, your head resting on top of someone’s warm lap, feeling the sun for the first time in a long time. “It means sea in Hawaiian. If they grow up here, they have to like the ocean.”

“I was thinking something edgier,” you heard JJ say, his gaze also moving toward the beautiful sky above. Lush, rolling fields surrounding you, “Maybe like Talon or Blaze? Something cool so, you know, the other kids don’t pick on ‘em.”

“No way,” She shook your head, giggling, “That is exactly the type of kid someone would pick on.”

“Fine …Kai. I don’t dislike it,” JJ seemed to ponder the name longer,.

You sat up from his lap, finally gazing at your handsome boyfriend. “I like it. We don’t have to pick one now, but … I’m just saying.” 

The two of you were sitting on top of a plaid blanket you didn’t recognize, and you didn’t recognize what part of The Cut you were in, either. JJ must’ve surprised you for a date. A cheap picnic was always up his aisle, and you never cared for fancy dates. 

“I still can’t believe there’s going to be a little Maybank,” you said, reaching out to touch his blonde, windswept hair. “I mean, I already love him. It makes me think my Dad must’ve never felt this way about me.”

He touched your bump, and you felt like you were filled with happiness. Everything was right. Things would be challenging, but at least you’d have each other. 

“My parents, too,” the words were solemn, but you felt the opposite, “It’s their loss.”

Neither of you had the families you deserved, but you could provide that happiness to Kai . . . or whatever name ended up suiting your angel. 

“Picking a name is hard. What if we look at him, and he just doesn’t match the one we chose?” You wondered. 

“Then we change it. He could have no name for all I care. As long as he’s healthy.”

You brought your lips to his and melted into him. Strong arms wrapped around your back as he deepened the kiss further. You were at home. 

When you opened your eyes again, breathless from the kiss, you knew you weren’t home at all. Tears filled JJ’s ocean eyes and the sky turned a darker blue. 

“Have you asked Rafe what he thinks about the baby’s name?”

“Wha-” Your lips parted, the air growing from warm to humid. A storm was brewing above that field of flowers. Now that you glanced around, those flowers were just weeds. 

“You should ask him.”

“Why would I ask Rafe, JJ?”

“Why not? He won. He gets you. He gets the baby.”

“He didn’t win. I just …” It came to you then. JJ never got to feel your pregnant belly. He never knew you were having a boy. How could you feel connected to him from behind the glass in the visiting room? “I-I’m going to figure this out.”

“You’re giving in.”

“I’m not!” You pushed at his chest, but he didn’t budge. 

“You should’ve never let him in.”

“I’m sorry,” You were crying now, “I-I was so lonely, and… you left me!”

He turned his head, and you felt the rain starting to fall, “You’ll forget about me soon enough. He’ll never know me.”

“Please, you have to find us.” The words left your lips just as lightning struck. 

You screamed yourself awake. 

You pushed around the baby potatoes on your plate, sitting across from Rafe at the dinner table. This entire week, you’d been struggling with eating. You felt the baby resting so high that you felt full quicker than expected. It didn’t help that you were facing the reality of giving birth inside this house and possibly never seeing the outside world again. 

You wanted nothing more than to meet your baby, but you felt yourself growing more complacent as your time here and the pregnancy went along. Realistically, how far could you get now that you were this pregnant? And how could you leave with a newborn?

“Is the baby moving a lot?” Rafe brought a piece of steak to his mouth, watching you intently as you played with your food. 

“Yeah … a little too much.”

“Hey, an active baby is a healthy one.”

You wanted to roll your eyes, “You read that in one of your parenting books?”

He winked at you, “Yes, I did.”

“I’m glad you know everything now.”

“You’d know more if you spent some of your free time reading. You haven’t touched a single one.”

“I’m exhausted lately, but thanks.”

Rafe nodded, “Well, makes sense; your body is changing so much. I should stay home more so I can take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself,” You said quickly. 

His fork and knife clanged against his plate as he placed them down. He leaned forward, eyes gazing sharply at you, “What’s gotten into you lately?”

“Rafe, don’t,” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes now. 

“I’m serious …did I do something? Things have been going good.”

You went silent, “Can I be excused?”

“You cannot,” his fist slammed down on the table, making you jump. “I had our whole night planned out, starting with dinner. So you’ll finish dinner with me, we will go on a walk, and then stay in my bed tonight.”

“I don’t feel-”

“I don’t care. I don’t ask too much of you,” Rafe interrupted, “If you can act a little bit more pleasant, I’ll still give you the surprise I was planning.”

“A surprise?”

“You’re going to regret acting like a brat when you see it.” 

Your mouth parted in shock, but his deadly look had you crossing your arms and sitting back silently in your chair. 

Rafe’s hands were intertwined with yours as you walked down an unfamiliar winding path. Cicadas had begun chirping, and the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the property. This was only the third time you’d physically left the house, Rafe allowing you earlier in your pregnancy to follow him around to meet all of the animals. 

Now, due to your swollen feet, you didn’t fit into the work overalls Rafe purchased for you or the boots. You walked in silence for the most part, imagining that Rafe was stewing with anger after your behavior at dinner. You cared little that you’d upset him; your mind was focused on repressing the nightmares you’d be having about JJ. 

After a few minutes, you arrived at a small, fenced-in area near one of the barns. Your curiosity was piqued when you saw a little pen set up in the middle of the grassy area. Inside was a bundle of fur that wiggled and barked excitedly as you approached. 

“C’mere, Honey,” He pulled you closer to the pin. The small dog was a golden brown color with long, shaggy ears, and you noticed a red gift bow tied around its neck. 

“A puppy?” You asked, leaning forward. The puppy stood up on its hind legs, and bounded over the pen's edge, tail wagging furiously. 

“She’s cute, right?” Rafe scooped the puppy quickly into its arms. 

“You bought a puppy,” you couldn’t help yourself, starting to pet its soft fur as Rafe held her close. “This is the surprise?”

“Part of it,” Rafe smiled, “You could use more company.” 

You couldn’t help but notice that your lips started to pull into a smile as the puppy tilted its head closer to you, licking at your cheek, “Oh … look at her,” You said, your heart swelling. Rafe had successfully subverted your expectations. Who were you to deny the cutest animal you’d ever seen? You should welcome any happiness your new world wanted to bring you, no matter how much regret JJ made you feel in your dreams, “You didn’t have to…”

“I want you to have her. She’s a cocker spaniel. Guy who sold her to me said they’re good with kids.” 

“I love her,” You spoke honestly, scratching behind her ears. 

“Look at her collar,” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Why?”

“Just look,” You hesitated but couldn’t imagine him playing a trick on you right now. 

After spinning the tiny collar around her neck, you found the second part of your surprise. Hanging on its collar was a ring with a gold band an a huge, oval-shaped diamond. You inspected it closer, not meeting Rafe’s eyes. Your heart was beating way too fast to look at him. You knew little about engagement rings, but you knew what you were looking at would be considered top-tier. 

“Here,” he said, placing the puppy back down in the pin and maneuvering its collar to free the ring. He held it out to you, and as you stood there, frozen, he took your hand. You didn’t pull away as he eased it onto your left ring finger, “I know we can’t have a traditional ceremony, but I just thought you might think this was special.”

Your lips parted, but Rafe shushed you, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Rafe’s eyes searched yours, waiting for any sign of acceptance. You looked down, the diamond catching the light of the setting sun.

“Let’s bring her inside,” Rafe suggested after a long moment. You nodded, and he leaned over to kiss your forehead before lifting the puppy again. 

Rafe led you back to the house, and his words echoed in your head. What had he done to deserve your attitude? Things were going well. In exchange for caring for the house, you relax in a comfortable environment where your baby can grow peacefully. He’d bought you a gorgeous ring and a puppy to discourage your loneliness. Maybe you were just wholly ungrateful. 

You helped Rafe set up an area for her in the living room.

“She’s gonna need a name.”

“What do you think?” You asked him quietly. 

You resisted the idea of naming your baby without JJ, but maybe you could share this intimate, normal thing with Rafe. 

He propped his fist underneath his chin, thinking, and stared down at the dog, “Are you opposed to a human name?”

“I’m not opposed to anything.”

He seemed a bit surprised by your reaction, but he continued his thinking pose. 

“She’s gonna be really sweet, I can already tell. To me, she looks like a Lucy or like a Molly.”

“Molly is cute. Classic sounding,” You nodded, leaning down to pet her, “You’re so adorable. You need wittle pink hairbows, don’t you, Molly?” 

You heard him chuckle at your high-pitched tone, “It’s settled then. Welcome to the family, Molly.”

As the evening progressed and after you got plenty of puppy cuddles, Rafe escorted you upstairs. The atmosphere was different than the last time you were together there. It was softer and more intimate. He helped you out of your clothes, gentle and considerate of your bump. You didn’t let yourself overthink any longer for the night. 

Your body was so much different from when he first brought you here, yet Rafe’s eyes were hungrier than ever. You couldn’t feel vulnerable for too long because soon he was naked too and pressed against you. The touching, soothing words in your ear and the gentle hands on your belly were almost too much. 

When the time came, Rafe guided you on top of him. He kept you steady, supporting your body with his strong hands as you straddled his lap. That night, you controlled the pace, and the position allowed you to ease the discomfort your belly caused. He watched you like a fine painting hanging in a museum, and his hands never left your hips. 

“Take your time,” He grunted huskily, “You’re doing so good, Honey.”

You loved the praise. You basked in his words and his gaze. You wanted to feel like you were doing the right thing, that you would be a good Mom, and Rafe was always there to confirm that. Your head rolled back, lips parting, as your movements became more frantic and rapid. 

You lost your rhythm, the intensity bringing tears to your eyes.

“Good girl, Honey,” As you grew tired, Rafe moved your hips for you. Hands pressing into his thick chest, you whined, feeling him in the deepest parts of you, “Give Daddy all of it.” 

“Fuck, Rafe!” You cursed, shaking, and he groaned in response, “I’m coming.”

He moved your hips faster, the grinding motion sending you over the cliff towards your orgasm. You felt yourself tightening around him, and like a chain reaction, Rafe’s eyes closed tightly as his orgasm came, “Jesus, baby,” Hands still tight on your hips, he finished deep inside of you, but you’d reached the point of overstimulation now. 

You climbed off of him, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. He caught you in his arms, pressing his body into yours, “Thank you,” You heard him say in your ear, his voice raw with emotion, “Fuck, I love you so much.”

You nestled into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against yours and the soft sheets beneath you. When you drifted off to sleep, you saw no raging storms, felt no overwhelming guilt, and JJ never appeared. For the first time in a long while, you slept peacefully, cocooned in the safety of Rafe’s love.

A/N: Pls reblog and let me know what you think!

[yandere-writer-momo]

Yandere Short Stories:

Always Watching, Done Waiting

Yandere Stalker x Terrified Fem Reader

TW: paranoia, psychological horror, STALKING, horror, yandere themes, unhealthy behavior that should never be romanticized, Your STALKER is not attractive

“Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.” (Your name) wept into her knees when that haunting melody began to echo throughout her home. No doubt from the same radio it had played from countless times before late in the night…

The young woman trembled in the confines of her closet while heavy foot steps echoed down her hall. If she kept herself as small a possible, would (your name) be able to avoid being caught by this psycho?

For months she had been harassed by a mysterious man… a man who would not take no as an answer.

At first it was innocent! It was small bouquets of cheap flowers, the kinds that one could buy at a grocery store for under ten dollars. Then it was boxes of her favorite candies. Simple gifts that once brought her joy since she’s never really received such flattering attention… but then it quickly began to snowball into a darker matter. This was no simple puppy love, this was an obsession.

Notes made from magazine clippings for each letters so he couldn’t be recognized through his handwriting, dozens of intimate pictures of her placed in envelopes, and body parts of the local cats she fed all had littered her doorstep over the last two months. Each ‘present’ inspired dread within (your name).

Then began the break ins, the holes in her walls and ceilings that could fit an eye in there to peep, the notes delivered to her job, the isolation from all of her friends and family, and the paranoia. There was not a single place that felt safe to her any longer… and the police wouldn’t help since her stalker had never done anything to harm her.

What on earth could he possibly want from her? Her first born? Maybe he wanted to harvest her organs and sell them on the black market? No… even someone as dense as a rock knew this stalker was utterly obsessed.

“And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.”

The nursery rhyme continued to echo down her hall as her pursuer continued to explore her home with agonizing slow steps. (Your name) had gotten rid of her spare key so how was he able to get in? Had he been staying here prior? God, she didn’t want to think about what this sicko was capable of.

Creak!

(Your name) silently scooted herself into the corner of her closet when she heard her bedroom door creak open. The young woman placed her hands over her mouth to prevent any noise from escaping despite the desire to scream. Hot tears fell down her cheeks, her body trembled like she was in below freezing temperatures. Oh god… she was about to die.

And that’s when the door was swung open to reveal a greasy man around her age. His dark hair greasy and his face covered in stubble and acne scars. (Your name) had seen this man before… he was the guy she gave a few sandwiches to last year! He was so drunk and lost, she felt bad for him… oh god. Was that small act of kindness her catalyst to her fate?

“My darling girlfriend!” The man bent down in front of her and set the radio beside him. His hands snatched hers up in a tight grip. He brought her knuckles up to his chapped lips to press kisses on them. “You’re so skittish… it’s just me!”

“W-who are you?” The man threw back his head and laughed before he gave her a small smile.

“It’s me, silly. Malachi? Your boyfriend of a year?” (Your name) remained as still as stone. A million thoughts ran through her head while this mad man continued to ramble. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to fetch you sooner but money has been tight.”

(Your name) was suddenly pulled into a hug, the young woman tried her best not to gag from the heavy scent of musk and cigarettes that permeated from Malachi. “It was hard to stop drinking, but you were worth it! You were always so kind to me with your pretty smile and your sandwiches… I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you!”

“W-what-“ (your name) nearly fainted when her eyes met his crazed blue ones. How could someone hold so much emotion in their eyes?

“I got my life together and I found a nice place for us… it’s perfect!” Malachi pressed his nose against hers. “It’s away from all of the weird men that harass you in the convenience store and away from all those nasty animals. It’ll be our little safe haven!”

(Your name) snapped out of her stupor when he said that. She had to get away… she needed to run!

The young woman tried to pull away from Malachi but his grip on her was stronger than an anacondas.

“I know it’s a really big step, but it’s been a year now! And I’m tired of waiting for us to take bigger steps! I know you liked my gifts! You never threw any of them away!” Because she needed evidence to give to the police! The same people who wouldn’t protect her…

(Your name) gulped when she felt Malachi press his hips into hers. Something large pressed against her that made her stomach drop. “I’ve been watching you for so long… and I’m done waiting.”

[6rookie-writer0110]

Part 2; It's over, we are your new rulers

Overgirl x Male Reader

Request: over girl x make reader where Kara is pregnant and male reader can't help but soften when he sees her walking around with a swollen belly and he will just walk behind her and hold her belly so some cute soon to be daddy vibes right there and the hero's find out about the pregnancy and try to get Kara to switch sides for her babies but it doesn't work and it ends with fluff

Kara is staring down at her stomach, and she gently touches her stomach. You walked behind her and you put your arms around her stomach.

“Our baby will be here soon,” You said.

“Everything will change, Y/N,” Kara said.

You stand in front of her and she seems nervous, but she tries to hide it. You hold her hand

“Change can be a good thing for us,” You said.

“What do you mean?” Kara asked.

“We are more powerful and our baby will be strong like us,” You said.

“I like how you are thinking” Kara smiled.

She leaned in and kissed you on the lips. You start to smile and you start to kiss her back.

You and Kara are happy about having a baby soon. You and Kara are the strongest villains on earth. Many heroes are still trying to take down you and Kara but they have all failed.

———

You are in the nursery room, building the crib. Kara walks in and you are reading the instruction book.

“You have been in here all morning,” Kara said.

“I was organizing the closet for clothes and supplies. Now, I’m reading the book” You said.

“You could use your speed to build it faster,” Kara said.

“And miss the fun, of overthinking it? Never” You joked.

“Let me help,” Kara said.

“Kara, you should be resting. Sit down and I will finish this” You said.

“Fine,” Kara sighed.

Kara tells you what to do because she starts to read the instructions. The crib came out perfect and you can't stop smiling about it. You and Kara have decorated the nursery room and the colors are dark. She starts to put a few teddy bears on the shelves that resemble villains.

✫ ✫ ✬ ✯

The heroes found out that gave birth to twins. They Think they have a chance to convince Kara to become good. You and Kara just destroyed a building and she starts to smile.

“Why, do you always ruin my moment?” Kara asked.

“We came to talk,” Barry said.

“Why?” You asked.

“We know that you have birth, Kara. You still can become good and change for the better. You still can change” Alex said.

“Why does everyone think, they can win me over with a dumb speech” Kara said.

“They are idiots and they underestimate you,” You said.

“We don't underestimate her,” Alex said.

You used your laser vision to attack Alex, but Barry used this speed to save her. Then You start to fight Barry and Kara starts to fight Oliver and Sara. Alex tries to make her sister stop but it's not working.

“Kara, you don't have to do this. We can be like before” Alex said.

“That will never happen, Alex. I will never change back” Kara said.

Kara grabbed Alex’s neck and started to choke her. Kara picks her up and she glares at Alex. Then John Diggle went to attack Kara then Alex fell to the ground. You are fighting Barry and Oliver, you punched Barry in the stomach then you picked up Oliver and threw him towards a random building. Ray Palmer and Sara started to fight you, but Ray tried to punch you. But you grabbed his wrist and then slammed on the cement ground hard, he passed out. Then you destroyed his suit and you took off his helmet and broke it into pieces. Sara tried to kick you but Kara attacked her Sara towards the ground.

———-

You and Kara won the fight.

“You haven't stopped smiling since we got home,” You said.

“It felt great that we got to fight them. And seeing them begging for mercy was great. But, I’m happy right now to have some family time with you and our babies” Kara said.

You already holding your son and you gently pat his back. Then Kara picks up her son and smiles at him, she gently touches his cheek. Then he grabs her finger and you watch them bond.

“Being bad is good. You break all the rules you want and take anything you want” You said.

Your son smiled at you.

“Your father is right, being bad feels great,” Kara said.

“They will be strong like us,” You said.

“Yes, they will” Kara smiled.

She gives you a peck on the lips.

You and Kara went to the nursery room to keep spending time together. You and Kara use baby toys to play with the twins. You and Kara are smiling and keep bonding with the boys. Then you show them the Flash and Superman toys

“Why did you get that?” Kara asked.

“I’m teaching them a lesson, babe,” You said.

“Boys, they are the Flash and Superman and we don't trust them. They are called heroes and they are weak and hypocrites” You said.

“They don't know the meaning of the word hypocrite,” Kara said.

“They will know soon enough. Okay, boys, this is what we do to heroes… we break them” You said.

You snapped the toys in half and the boys giggled. You and Kara continued to play with them and you made funny faces to make them laugh.

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.

Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings.

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men | @nerdisthenewcool | @lilypadmomentum | @1dkneo | @kitsunechan707

Chapter 29

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The last thing you and Law were able to fully enjoy together to prepare for the arrival of your babies was setting up the nursery in the second bedroom, after having your friends assist with clearing it out and cleaning up the carpet, that was.  Once completed, Law was now hunkered down to a strict schedule of meetings with almost hundreds of people in preparation for the biggest, longest, and most daunting surgery of his life.

But prior to that, he was able to spend an entire day with you, putting together cribs, assembling toys, installing two small dresser sets and changing tables, and organizing all of the baby clothing and supplies you received from your generous friends.  You had never seen Law more delighted, except maybe on your wedding day.  The way he carefully assembled one of the mobiles and hung it delicately over the top of one of the cribs brought a warm smile to your face.  As the days grew closer and closer, the thought of Law holding your babies made your heart flutter more and more.

The room was much smaller than your master bedroom, but it still had ample room as a nursery for two babies.  You had taken the opportunity (thanks in part to your lenient lease) to paint both of the walls a simple, muted mint-green color, calming to the eyes and yet still allowing the room to glow with light when the blinds were open.  Law had even bought a paper trim decorated with animal prints to place on the highest points of the wall, surrounding the corner where it touched the ceiling.  Both cribs were situated in opposite corners of the room, separated by a small window.  At the ends of both cribs sat their small dressers where their respective clothing, bedding, and supplies were stored, and above the dressers sat their changing tables and changing mats.  The rest of the room was dedicated to storing their plethora of toys until they were old enough to begin playing and exploring their world.  In your kitchen, two high chairs were placed against the wall, ready to be used at your table.  Two car seats with sturdy handles and foldable sun covers were ready and waiting in your extra closet, along with the folded up double stroller.  In your bathroom, Law had installed a small additional storage container for you to keep your unused breastfeeding supplies in, which he insisted on sterilizing three times a week despite not being touched yet.  Everything was ready to go, now the only thing left to do was wait.

But now, Law was spending more and more time at the hospital, which you completely understood, but that he lamented over.  Before he left every single day, and the second he returned home from however long his shift was, he kissed you on the lips before traveling down and planting two tender kisses against your bump.  The bump of which had become quite the hindrance as you approached the 36 week mark.  You were at 34 now, and according to Robin, your twins’ organs were fully developed and they’d be able to breathe on their own once born… whenever that was.

And while you were happy to have made it to 34, overjoyed even, the Braxton Hicks contractions were incredibly annoying.

“They are not indicative of labor,” your doctor had said.  “Trust me, you’ll know when your contractions go from false alarms to actual labor.”

You took her word for it.  But that didn’t make the 30 second increments of sudden cramping rippling across your belly at all hours of the day any better.  Sometimes, the pain would subside for an hour or two before coming back in full.  And they weren’t agonizingly painful, but they were prevalent enough that it was near impossible to ignore them.

While Law was at work more and more frequently in preparation for the surgery, Shachi and Penguin basically moved in with you.  They were walking Bepo, feeding Bepo, playing with Bepo, kissing Bepo, all while you were laying on your couch like a log.  A log with a huge belly and spontaneous Braxton Hicks contractions.

“What does Mama want?” Penguin asked from your kitchen, rifling through your pantry.

“Please don’t call me ‘Mama,’” you groaned.  It was endearing when Law did it, and very awkward when anyone else did.

“Got it.  What does the fat woman on the couch want?” he called back.

“Don’t make me come over there and stab you,” you yelled.  “I’m cranky enough as it is.”

Shachi emerged from the bathroom down the hall.  “Penguin quit bugging her.  That’s my job.”

“You guys are going to make me deliver early,” you snipped.

“Give the poor woman some food,” Shachi demanded, driving a harsh spank against Penguin’s ass through the man’s cargo shorts, resulting in a high-pitched yelp.  That finally forced a smile to break out on your face.

“I’m glad to see you two finally came to your senses,” you chided, trying to push yourself up against the armrest of your couch where a pillow was situated against your back to support you.  “What’s it like having graduated from roommates to sex?”

“It’s the exact same, but way hotter,” Shachi replied with a mischievous, toothy smile.

“Okay, I’m sorry for calling you fat, please stop talking about my sex with this lunatic,” Penguin groaned, emerging from your pantry with a few unopened boxes of pasta while you and Shachi giggled over his modesty.  “How does a simple baked ziti sound?”

You moaned from the couch.  “That sounds heavenly.”

Shachi left the kitchen to enter the main living space with you, sitting on the floor with his legs spread and allowing Bepo to crawl onto his lap.  “Nervous?” he asked, looking up at you.

Your hands soothed over your belly as another false contraction rippled through you in waves.  “More than nervous.  But I’ve been trying not to think about it.  I’m worried that too much stress will induce labor.”  After a brief pause, you added, “I’m worried that everything out of the ordinary will induce labor.”

The redhead hummed beside you, idly stroking the soft fur of Bepo’s head as the dog began to fall asleep on his lap.  “Do you have a hospital bag packed?”

You nodded.  “Law packed one for me a week ago.  It has all of our stuff in it… it’s pretty heavy.  He said, ‘If anything happens while I’m away and you have to go into L&D, have either Shachi or Penguin take this to the hospital.’”

“What’s ‘L&D’?” asked Penguin from the kitchen as he dumped two boxes of pasta into a large pot of boiling water.

“Labor and Delivery,” you clarified.  “We’re all assuming a lot of this is going to be spontaneous, so there’s no real indication of when I’ll have to go in because… well, we don’t know when I’ll give birth,” you explained.  “Most moms with one baby give birth at around 40 weeks, give or take.  But with twins, the average is apparently 36.  And I’m at 34.”

Shachi whistled through his lips.  “So it really could be at any moment.”

“Great time for Law to have to replace a man’s organs, huh?” Penguin piped up from the kitchen.

You laughed.  “The timing couldn’t have been better!”

The smell of baked ziti very slowly began to permeate your apartment as Penguin cooked, Shachi doted on Bepo, and you lounged on the couch, standing intermittently to continue to stretch your legs.  The contractions didn’t stop, if anything they increased in frequency as time slowly ticked away.  And every once in a while, one of your babies would kick against your muscle.

—

Law was fighting with every fiber in his body to stay awake.  He was leading his surgical team, for crying out loud.  He needed to be front and center for this meeting.  He drove the tip of his pencil through his pant leg into the flesh of his thigh to snap him out of his dozed state.  God, he needed coffee.

At the front of the conference room, directly in front of where Law sat, was the head of the hospital’s Transplant Transport team, which Law’s team joked was a very humorous name.  He was quite a stocky older man with a distended belly that barely fit into the gray dress shirt he had tucked into his slacks.  He was going through an itinerary on a pulled-down projector screen.  

“The patient, to remind those of you who just arrived, is a 51 year old man with a history of cardiopulmonary failure.  He has had two open heart surgeries in the past, and suffered a collapsed lung in his youth.  Both he and his family have been willing to try every treatment possible, and that is why we are meeting here today.  As far as I am aware, this hospital has never performed a double heart-lung transplant before, am I correct?”  He turned his attention to Law, who crossed on leg over his knee, asking silently for the lead surgeon’s approval.

“Correct,” Law affirmed, nodding his head.

“Dr. Trafalgar, would you mind walking your team through the procedure step-by-step?” the man asked, stepping aside to allow Law room to stand up in front of the packed conference room.

With a silenced grunt, Law stood up and smoothed his white doctor’s coat over his chest.  He took a deep breath and turned to face the room.  In front of him, every seat at the table and scattered chairs against the wall were filled by his surgery team, ICU nurses and doctors, hospital technicians involved with the case, and members of the Transplant Transport team.  “The surgery is scheduled to begin at 8:00 AM on May 12th.  That morning, a helicopter will be arriving with the heart and lungs from the donor patient, where they will then be transported by the transplant team to our operating room and hooked up to an artificial body where they’ll be kept living while we remove the damaged tissue from our recipient.  A coronary bypass machine will be used to keep the patient alive while his organs are removed and replaced.  This is the simple explanation, whenever everyone’s ready, I will begin discussing the more heavy aspects of the procedure.”

A few nods and curt words of consent were shared amongst the room.  Law took a deep breath and began speaking once more.

—

You were sitting naked on your bed, having just gotten out of the shower, when your phone started buzzing on your bedside table.  Your husband’s name popped up, immediately making you smile.

“Hey, baby!” you called into the receiver.  “How’d the presentation meeting go?”

A long, pent up sigh was heard through the speaker, making your heart pang with sympathy.  [About as good as it could’ve.  It’s hard explaining a 15 hour surgery to a group of 50-some-odd people.]

“Do you think your team is ready for it?” you asked, using one hand to slather moisturizing lotion onto your knees and calves.

[I think so.  I mean, I damn hope so.  I’ve had a lot of my nurses and team members review the same materials I’ve been studying to make sure everyone is on the same page.  As the day gets closer, I’m having my assistants complete simulated operations on their down time.]

“You can do that?”

[It’s a teaching hospital, we’ve got plenty of equipment.]

You grinned, dropping your legs and falling backward onto your bed, rubbing your belly with one hand while your other held your phone to your ear.  “Well, that’s good.”

Law’s voice hummed in agreement.  You heard him take another deep breath.  [I miss you.]

A part of you wanted to joke that he was only about five minutes away, but you knew what he meant.  He was missing the last few weeks of your pregnancy, something he had wanted to avoid since the two of you started trying for a baby.  It was vital to him that he was there to support you, to protect you, but once again, he wasn’t.  He was kept away from you by his taxing job, a job that he loved with a deep passion, but one that fought with his unwavering commitment to you.

Instead of commenting something witty in response, you replied with, “I know… I do too.”  A thought came into your mind, something you had read earlier in the day while your friends were out with your dog.  “Hey… Law?”

[Yeah, baby?]

“I know it’s hard to ask this over the phone but… I read online that parents with twins are more likely to suffer relationship breakdown.”

Law seemed to know what you were alluding to immediately, even without you having to explicitly state your worry.  [Remember everything I’ve been telling you?  About how much I love you and how that’s not going to change at any point?]

A smile tugged to your lips.  “Yeah…”

[Relationships break down because of stress.  But we’re good at working things out together.  We jump through hurdles at the same time because we communicate and we love each other.  That’s not going to change with babies.  Even with two new mouths to feed instead of one.]

“Your words always help me feel better,” you sighed into the receiver.  “I love you.”

[Get some rest, sleeping beauty.  I love you, too, always.]

—

34 weeks turned into 35.

The waiting was starting to take years off of your life, you thought.

Shachi and Penguin had bunked up in your living room.  You only saw your husband about three times while he prepared religiously for the operation.

Somewhere at another hospital, a comatose man was being prepped and signed off to be removed from life support and have his organs harvested.  And ten minutes from your apartment, a middle-aged man with his own family was getting ready to receive them.

And you were carrying two babies in your womb.  Two babies who, according to your very last ultrasound, were both facing head-first toward your cervix.  It was looking like a completely natural birth would be possible, as long as no complications arose in the moment.

Hopefully, according to your latest health workup, everything would be fine.  Your blood pressure had remained steady throughout your pregnancy, all of your blood panel conditions had been very healthy.  Your body felt ready, if the constant Braxton Hicks contractions were anything to go off of.

It was just.  The.  Waiting.

Your journal was almost completed.  You only had two more pages before your prompts switched to journaling the post-birthing experience.

You uncapped your pen and began writing.

[mushroomates]

the fellowship at a hardware store, from someone who works at a hardware store:

sam: is in the nursery!! goes straight to the discount/dying plants and piles his cart full of wilted and sad plants. likes to rescue the houseplants first, has a soft spot for perennials and citrus trees. is a nightmare to check out but is very sweet about it. dirt and leaves everywhere. like, everywhere. they have to sweep after he’s gone. surprisingly strong and hauls big bags of dirt.

frodo: enjoys home improvement!! likes to wander carpeting and organization, hunts for good deals and keeps tabs on the sales weekends. he likes to peruse the shower curtains and closet accessories. likes to refurbish old furniture he finds off the side of the road- currently fixing up an antique dresser to put in the master bedroom.

merry: doorknobs, handles, dresser nobs. he likes to pick out the interesting and antique ones and customize his home with them. he really likes the oddly shaped ones, he has one starfish and one pickle on his nightstand table. likes to joke about touching all the knobs and fiddling with the knockers.

pippin: is lost in the lighting department. he’s staring up at all the pretty lights and hypnotizing fans. likes the remote controlled lights, enjoys messing with the demos. also likes collecting paint chips. (pippins also the kind of person to get really high and shit in the display toilets.) does not buy anything, maybe some beef jerky and skittles at the check outs.

boromir: this man has like 80 projects going on and is remarkably proficient in every conceivable area featured in the store. he’s here so much people think he works here. he kinda does. he’s happy to advise you, lead you to products, and lifts heavy things for little old ladies and swooning maidens. he’s happy to grab the things on the highest shelf as well as carry those bigs bags of dirt out to your care. he is just a naturally pure and helpful soul. <3

aragorn: has lost himself in scrap wood. straight to the lumber yard, straight to the pile of damaged and recycled wood. once a month, he comes and loads up as much as it will fit in a pickup truck. no one knows what he does with it but he keeps coming back. there are several theories around the store. either he’s building a bunker, has a side hustle by reselling it, makes massive fires or he does wood work. alternatively, he’s a homeless man building his own cabin in the woods so he can live away from society. that’s one’s probably the closest.

gandalf: mixes his own paint. he doesn’t work there but somehow he keeps getting back there and making his own custom colors. was known to pull a miracle and turn gray paint back into white. no one knows how he did this. likes to camp out in the seasonal section. enjoys lounging on couches and swings for long periods of time.

gimli: is so excited to walk into the tools section. wants all the toys. likes power tools in a way that’s both funny and scary. really likes chainsaws and leaf blowers, possibly because they pose the biggest threat to legolas. often gets flagged out the door because no one person needs that many tools and he must be up to something. he always beeps out the door because inevitably someone forgot to take off one of the sensors of his many, many tools. he used to be nicer about this but lately has lost patience with always being stopped out the door, and often will make a show of waving his receipt before leaving.

legolas: spends a good amount of time in the garden. i imagine he gets enamored with the fountains and ponds rather quickly, also likes the statues and fun pots. also, wanders through the garden and samples the plants. by samples i mean eat small bites of it, and if he finds the quality satisfactory he will purchase it. this is rarely the case and he often just goes around eating small bites of houseplants.

[cakerybakery]

I don’t think I’ve really seen an Adam going through a nesting phase while pregnant, unless giving him bird traits. But it’s a thing humans do to.

So I figured it would be funny to give him one

-

Lucifer pushed the crib over to the east wall, then the dresser to the west wall next to the changing table and the rocking chair to by the window. Like he’d been told.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Would the bookshelf look better on the south wall by the window?” Adam was hovering again.

“If that’s what you desire, I can move it.” ‘Again.’ He tacked on internally.

Adam tested out the changing table and dresser. Taking a tiny outfit from the drawer without leaving the table to avoid the baby rolling off and falling if he looked away for even a moment.

Satisfied, Adam started pulling the clothing out of the drawers and reorganizing them.

Lucifer paused pushing the bookshelf over to watch as Adam took all the sleepers out of the top drawer and put all the onesies in instead. “Didn’t you just organize that yesterday?”

“Yeah, but I thought today that the onesies really should be in the top drawer because that’s the first thing that we’ll put on them. Although, maybe I should put all the small miscellaneous stuff in the top drawer?” Adam started pulling it all out again before sighing and pulling himself back up, “hang on, I gotta go to the bathroom. I moved wrong and pressed the baby against my bladder.”

Lucifer went back to pushing the bookshelf over. Setting it up next to the window by the rocking chair. With nothing else to do he figured he’d help by re-reorganizing the baby clothing. He put the tiny hats, socks, and mitten to keep the baby from scratching their face and hurting themselves by accident in neat piles in the drawer. Then onesies, then sleepers, then pants. Satisfied he’d helped, Lucifer started to wonder where Adam went.

He wandered down the hall to the bathroom off their room and found Adam on the floor with a bucket of soapy water and the shelving taken out of the linen closet. Everything that had been on the shelves in some state of disarray or freshly washed. All the towels were in the laundry hamper.

“Uhh Adam? What are you doing?”

“Cleaning. I went to change the toilet paper roll and realized the underside of the shelving was dirty so I pulled everything out to clean it.”

Lucifer just nodded, “ah, okay. You need anything?”

“No. I need from fresh water but I’ll go get that. I need to stretch my legs. My back is fucking killing me.”

“Okay. I’ll… wash the towels I guess.”

Adam kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks. You’re a life saver.”

Lucifer carried the basket to the laundry room and started the load. It wouldn’t do any good to argue that they were perfectly clean towels. Adam felt they were dirty so they needed to be washed. Lucifer was getting use to this. He hoped it didn’t last.

He went back to the master bathroom and it was exactly as he left it.

Once more he wandered the house until he found Adam in the kitchen, scrubbing a wall. “Oh thank god. Can you get behind the stove? I can’t reach and it’s filthy.”

Lucifer just agreed, picked up an extra cloth and started trying to get off the accumulated years of grease and stains off the wall. ‘At least this is actually dirty.’

He was finishing up when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.”

“K,” Adam barely paid him any mind and went back to cleaning.

Lucifer pulled over the door and was surprised to find Eve there, “hey. I was in the neighbourhood and thought I’d pop by to see how Adam is doing.”

“He’s nesting.”

Eve put a hand on Lucifer shoulder and with a grimace, “I’m so fucking sorry for the loss of your husband’s sanity.”

“I’m going to go for a walk before he makes me reorganize the nursery, again. Can you make sure he doesn’t try to do anything dangerous by himself?” He grabbed the jacket and his hat off the hook on the wall and Eve agreed.

He was almost to the sidewalk when even from that distance he heard Adam yelling, “LUCIFER! DID YOU TOUCH THE BABY CLOTHING? ITS ALL WRONG!”

He was going for a very long walk. He’d bring back ice cream.

[starcrossedxwriter]

Unbreakable Part 4 (Erik Killmonger x OC)

A/N: So... we're getting into the thick of the plot here! So a lot happens in this chapter - maybe too much LOL but two parts were holdovers from chapter 3 that weren't quite ready lol so this chapter ended up jam-packed. Enjoy!

***

“You know we have staff to do that?” Nakia asked while she nursed Wakanda’s new princess and Naja moved at lightning speed folding all her clothes and straightening up her nursery.

Naja merely smiled and waved off her sister’s statement. “Yes I know. But the staff could use a break every once in a while. Besides laundry and organizing are the few domestic tasks mama taught us that I actually enjoy. How does such a tiny human make so many dirty clothes? She already has more clothes in this closet than I do.”

Nakia merely shook her head and laughed. “We have to change her outfit no less than 5 times each day. And she’ll outgrow 90% of that closet by the time you leave in a month.” 

Naja’s shoulders sagged a bit as she realized she only had about four weeks left in Wakanda. She had been so disgruntled about coming and now she did not want to leave. She knew she had to, there was much work waiting for her in Niganda and she missed her life there. But for the first time in a long time, she wondered whether she would miss what she was leaving in Wakanda more. Particularly her sister, her niece and her nephew. The Queen of Wakanda was incredibly busy with the new baby and her regular duties but she and Naja still made time for sister bonding, even if it was merely fawning over the baby together. 

“Who knows how big she’ll be when I am able to return again. Those five years with TJ went by so fast.” 

“Yes, this time will be very different though. Thank Bast,” Nakia whispered. Naja abandoned her task and squeezed her sister’s hand. 

“Yes, it will.” Naja pressed a soft kiss to the baby’s head before returning to her task. 

“You ever think about having one of these one day?” 

Naja was thankful her back was turned to Nakia as that question hit her ears. Her eyes clenched shut for a moment as if she could block out the avalanche of emotions that started barreling down at her at the question. She had to force her fingers to loosen around the baby onesie she was holding, her tight grip wrinking the pristine fabric. However, she did not let it show beyond that as she quickly schooled her expression into one of pained laughter. 

“Nope,” she asserted with a tone that made it seem like the suggestion was laughable to her. “Don’t think years of murdering people make you the mothering type. Hardly a nurturer.” 

“I disagree. You were amazing with TJ during his first 5 years. You were always the more nurturing of the two of us.” 

“Even if that were true, it would require me to be attached to a man for more than a night.” She winked at Nakia who merely rolled her eyes with a chuckle, always amused by her sister’s flippant attitude about sex. “And there is not a single man on this continent or Earth I am interested in saddling myself with for a lifetime.” She ignored the vision of a certain prince that popped into her head. 

“There’s not a single man whose company you enjoy in Niganda?” 

She scoffed. “There’s barely a man who can give me an orgasm to enjoy on a regular basis. I certainly don’t enjoy their company. They are merely a necessary means to an end.” She chose to leave out the part where many of her late night callers were men she wanted information out of for the rebellion… her sister hardly needed to know that part. 

“You can’t run from love forever, sister.” 

Naja rolled her eyes. Here we fucking go… A lecture. 

“I’m not running from it. I’ve actively decided I don’t want it. I love this life for you, Nakia. But I… I want something different.” 

Naja knew Nakia was not foolish enough to actually believe that lie. Naja had always been the one who wanted what Nakia now had, not being Queen, but to settle down and build a family once she had the adventures she and Erik discussed. While Nakia had yearned for the life Naja now had but had fallen in love with the King, which came with responsibilities she could not ignore. 

Sometimes those plans haunted her as vivid nightmares of the future she and Erik planned together when they retired from their posts as War Dogs and returned to Wakanda to serve T’Challa and Nakia as advisors and raise a family together. Fifteen years later and she could still see that future clear as day, only now it mocked her for ever believing it could be a reality, for putting so much stock into childhood fairytales and fantasies that could never happen. 

“Love can fit into your lifestyle, Naja. You can have the life you want and make room for love.” 

“The only people I love are in this palace right now. You, your children, T’Challa, Shuri. And our parents… most the time,” she muttered under her breath. “That’s all I need.” 

“I understand. I just don’t want what happened with N’Jadaka to close you off from love forever.” 

“It has nothing to do with him!” Another lie. “Not every decision I make in this life has to do with what he did.” Another lie. She despised just how much of the person she fashioned herself into was because of Erik. But there were some hurts… some wounds she simply could not let go. And no one on this planet, even Nakia, knew how deeply Erik had cut her. Everyone knew he abandoned her and broke off their engagement but their last conversation? That nail in the coffin of their love and friendship? Naja had never breathed those words aloud to another soul. Every time she tried, it felt like the poorly constructed stitches holding it together ripped open and pain flowed as if he had just hurled those words at her. 

“I am not saying it does. I had just hoped… since you have clearly forgiven him and you are becoming friends again, perhaps it had softened some of this. I know a future with him is not possible but that doesn’t mean getting to a better place with him will not open doors for others.” 

Naja paused but this time for some introspection as she tried to find the words to describe her increasingly complex relationship with a certain prince. She had two hearts where Erik was concerned and she had no idea which one would win out each day. One was held together by duck tape, still shattered and reeling from his actions. While the other, the heart that she tried her best to ignore, yearned for him as she did air to breathe and sustenance to survive. For that heart, he was as critical to her survival as the blood it pumped through her veins. And the control over her actions and her brain ebbed and flowed between the two, toggling back and forth in ways that made her increasingly frustrated.

She wanted to hate him, her hate for him was fuel and she was not ready to let it go. Today or ever. Once those feelings were the most clear and easy aspects of her life. And now? They were murky and she found herself wanting to forgive him so she could experience the once-in-a-lifetime love he offered her again. Since he held her the other night, she could not shake the feeling it left her with, the reality of how much she had gone without in the last 15 years. But she could not pretend that the mere idea of giving into that made her feel ashamed of herself. How could she forgive him so easily? He had not even really worked for it yet. She had to make him work for it, she could not let go that easy. She would hold to the tether of her rage and pain until it broke. Because he did not deserve easy this time. 

“I haven’t forgiven him… not yet anyway and I wouldn’t use the words friends. And whatever we are was not intended, believe me. I planned to go to my grave hating Prince N’Jadaka. I still might. But he’s… I don’t know. Every bit the same as I remember and completely different too. And he sees me? In a way no one else really does. So I am willing to give him a chance to earn my forgiveness, prove he’s changed. We are going out together on Friday.”  She glanced over her shoulder expecting to see an excited look on her sister’s face. Instead, she saw an expression she could not read fully. Partially shock but under the surface, Naja could not help but wonder if she saw a hint of anger. Of course, Nakia was able to school her face to throw on a fake smile but Naja noticed it too fast. “What’s that look?? You think I’m completely stupid, don’t you??” 

Nakia cleared her throat and shook her head. “No, no. You’re far from stupid. I just… Just be careful, Naja.” 

Naja scoffed. “I’m surprised you aren’t jumping for joy. Am I to believe the ulterior motive of this whole visit was not to get us back together? Was your husband alone in those intentions? It’s not gonna happen, I don’t want that,” Not really, she added silently in her head. “I just… there’s a part of me that has to know if he really has changed? And I lost a bet,” she admitted. 

“T’Challa and I merely want you and N’Jadaka both to be happy. And be able to coexist for the sake of this family. And perhaps that is best done apart. I just don’t want to see you hurt again. There are things you don’t know about him a-” 

“I’ll never be hurt like that again,” Naja answered sharply, cutting her sister off. She became immediately frustrated by the insinuation that she was anything like the 17 year old girl Nakia and T’Challa had to nurse back to health like a broken bird. As if Erik or anyone could break her again. She was stronger, she was different. “I know everything I need to know about who Erik is now. We’ll never be more than friends.” 

Nakia fell silent and merely nodded, though Naja could tell there was more she wanted to say. “You’re right, you’re right. Sometimes I just get overprotective.” 

Naja immediately felt bad for biting her head off. This was Nakia’s job as her older sister. But Naja already felt rubbed raw by N’Jadaka’s clear advances and effort. Old woulds were open and now her own sister was questioning whether she was strong enough to withstand the inferno that was Erik once again. If Nakia could not see how much she had changed, had she really at all?

“I know and I appreciate it. But I don’t need you or anyone else to protect me anymore. I’ll be ok. I promise.” 

***

Naja barely laid her head down to attempt to sleep when she got a call on her kimoyo beads. She glanced down, surprised to find a voice message from N’Jadaka. 

“Meet me outside. Bring your notes and journals. Got somethin’ to show you.” 

Naja could not help but stare at her beads in confusion. She had seen Erik several times throughout the day and he had not mentioned wanting to see her tonight or that he had anything to show her. 

Despite all of her questions and annoyances about having to leave the palace so late, she still forced herself out of bed and back into the first set of acceptable clothes she could find. Since she worked late nights at the bar and often did her recon and other illegal activities in the dead of night, all of her clothes were designed for stealth and to hide weapons. It was all the clothes she had so even tonight, when there was no stealthing or defending to do, her light black jacket was still home to four well hidden knives and her soft black leggings held spots for two guns, which she chose to leave at home. She stuffed all of her notes and journal into a small backpack.

She slid on her soundless shoes and out of her room with a mere nod to the Dora assigned to her room. She walked through the palace and out to the landing pad, Erik arrogantly leaning against the Royal Talon. 

“That was quick. When I didn’t get some smart ass response, I assumed you didn’t get it.” 

“It’s not too late if you need a dose of smart ass. I always have a few in my back pocket for you.” 

Erik surveyed her body, taking in her perfect curves and toned ass in her leggings. He licked his lips and winked at her. “What else you got back there for me?” 

Naja stopped in front of him and smiled sweetly. “A gun… though I’d prefer a knife. But trust me, you wouldn’t.” 

“How you know knife play ain’t a kink of mine, baby girl?” 

Naja almost choked before she recovered with a shake of her head as Erik burst into laughter. “You’re my least favorite person on this continent, you know that right?” 

“Don’t believe that for a second. Come on,” he gestured toward the Talon as the ramp opened for them to climb on. 

“Does our King know we are stealing his plane?”

Erik merely shrugged as he slid into the driver's seat. “More or less. Not my first time takin’ it out for a little ride. But don’t worry, we’re just going to Shuri’s lab. So we won’t be far.” 

“What’s at Shuri’s lab?” Not that she did not mind going to Shuri’s lab, she enjoyed learning from the Princess and getting to try out new gadgets before anyone else. However, she did not understand why he wanted to go there with her or what he would have to show her. 

“You’ll see.” 

Naja rolled her eyes before sliding into one of the seats. The short plane ride was virtually silent though the tension between them, in such a small space, was palpable. Things had somehow both become more difficult and more effortless between theme since he spent the night two days prior. The vulnerability they shared broke down a few barriers in a way Naja had not expected but she did not know what to do now. She was not accustomed to gray space when it came to Erik. They were not friends, they were not lovers but they weren’t enemies anymore either. They were just something else that she was not prepared to decipher or understand. 

“So are you going to reveal the big secret?” Naja asked as they entered Shuri’s private workspace. She was surprised to not find the Princess in her usual spot. Everyone knew she did her best work in the middle of the night when she should have been resting like everyone else in Wakanda. The Wakandan Palace was filled with night owls.

“Shuri told me we could use the space at night for a while cause she’s working on a different project downstairs. Wanted to show you this,” he took her over to the giant work table which was usually covered in completed or half-finished gadgets. However, tonight, it was filled with notes and papers, treaties, aerial photos, and a giant 3-D map of Niganda. 

“Whoa.” Naja’s hands started grabbing random pieces of paper. There was enough material here to keep her busy for weeks. “What’s all this?” 

“Notes from the other three War Dogs in Niganda from the last year, I didn’t tell them why,” he added at the freaked out look on her face. “I just asked all War Dogs to send an update to make it seem routine. After our talk the other night, I pulled some recon photos we had from before the peace treaty talks started. Figured we could use all this and your notes to piece together some more information. And T doesn’t really come down here unless Shuri invites him so it’s a good spot to do shit we ain’t supposed to be doin’.” 

Naja glanced at him with wide eyes. “You did all this to help me?” 

“There’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do to help you. I know you don’t believe that but it’s true. And you ain’t in this alone, this ain’t just on you to figure out.” 

Erik did not have the heart to tell her that his actions were not totally altruistic. He had his own motivations for finding a reason to end these peace talks with Niganda. His future, or rather the future he wanted, was as tightly wound in discovering what Niganda was doing as Naja’s was, if not more so. 

She sighed, grabbing more papers. “I do now. Thank you, N’Jadaka. Seriously. Also a bit old school don’t you think?” She gestured to the printed papers. 

“Less likely for T’Challa or anyone to notice on our tablets and shit. And stop thankin’ me and let’s get to it, aight?” she nodded with a smile before putting on her game face. “So you said the King is definitely behind the kidnappings? Any theories as to why?” 

“Definitely. Witnesses report soldiers taking the kids. It’s possible it is a rogue faction of the guard doing something nefarious and they are getting away with it because most of the people will think it is the King’s orders. But King Bisi runs the guard with an iron fist, hell, most do not breathe without his command. There are claims that his mental health is waning so perhaps someone in the palace is taking advantage of that? But there are few in his court with the skill to pull something like this off besides him.” She sighed. “And I have several theories but none of them are particularly good and haven’t panned out.”  

“Ok well let’s hear 'em anyway.”  

She started pacing up and down the length of the table. “First I thought intimidation? You know taking the children to keep their parents in line. But that doesn’t explain the first four kids who were all orphans. And the entire country, save the rebels, are already terrified of him. And those with parents… none of them are part of the Front or involved in illegal activity. They are just regular people so that would not make sense. It could be trafficking or labor for the fields? It’s the poorest village of the Capitol and in the country so outside of those of us who live there, no one would know or care that these kids are going missing. The wealthier villages are just happy to remain in the King’s favor. The first few were from the local orphanage, the man who runs it is who sounded the alarm to Dayo initially. But Dayo ruled out trafficking. The kids aren’t showing up in those channels either. Whatever he is doing with them, they are still in Niganda.”

“Yea, and there are a lot easier ways to get bodies… prisoners, rebels. What else?” 

Naja glanced up at him with a helpless expression. “That’s it. If we were finding bodies, we’d have more to go on but these kids are vanishing without a trace.”

“Anything else suspicious happened since this started?” 

“Not really. Two doctors were kidnapped about a week before the kids started. But we found one of their bodies the same week so we assumed they were both dead and fell into something they shouldn’t have. We never found the body of the second one so maybe that’s something?” 

“Yea but most people kidnap adults or kids… kidnapping both is uncommon. What’s the deal with this rebellion anyway?” At her skeptical look, he smiled. “Don’t worry, ain’t gon’ rat you out to T.” 

“How else do revolutions and rebellions start in this world? The people have nothing and King Bisi brutalizes them while leaving them destitute. Dayo… he and a couple rebel leaders were once in the King’s court but he escaped after the King murdered an entire village who was ‘harboring’ a father who had stolen from the palace. He realized that the freedom we deserved was only possible if the king was not in power. He created the Nigandan Liberation Front to overthrow the Royal Family and install a true democracy.” 

Eek could not help but hear how she used the word “we” to describe Nigandan citizens as if she was not a spy masquerading as one of them. Nor could he stop the smallest kernel of hope from blossoming in his heart. If the rebels succeeded, that nagging reminder of the promise he made that he desperately tried to forget, the reminder that his future did not belong to him at all, would be null and void. 

“How likely you think that is?” 

She scratched her forehead. “Honestly, I don’t know. We’re inching forward but it could be years. The King loves his grip on power. Many refuse to join the rebellion because they hold hope that his heir will be different but…” 

“You disagree? You know her?” 

She laughed humorlessly. “No, never met her. Gotten a glimpse of her a few times. She’s been to the village more than once. She’s known for her charity work, feeding and clothing those in need.” 

Erik could hear the disdain in her voice. “That’s a good thing, ain’t it?” 

“Not when she has the power to ensure there are no poor in the country to begin with. Niganda has the money for everyone to live in prosperity. Her father has chosen policies that hoard resources for him, his council, and the wealthy while the rest of the country starves. Many of the country may love her for it but I won’t celebrate someone saving lives when they are the reason the people are dying to begin with. All Princess Imani is doing is keeping the people on life support so they can continue to serve her family and eventually her interests. As far as I’m concerned, she is as soulless as her father.” 

Erik’s eyes grew wide. “Damn, tell me how you really feel. Who knows, maybe she’ll be different.” 

Naja did not look up from the written accounts of one of the war dogs she was reading. “Why do you care so much? It’s not as if you have to live under her rule. You met her?” 

Erik fixed his face to seem as disinterested as he should be. “Only once at an event. She was a bit vain but hella independent. I’d hardly describe her as soulless. Her father? That nigga definitely. But she seemed like she wanted to do some good.” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it. But that’s a ways away, unfortunately. According to the palace, King Bisi is in perfect physical health by all accounts. And despite his age and ailing mental health, the ancestors will have to drag him to whatever heaven or preferably hell is waiting for him before he willingly gives up that throne.” Silence fell for a few minutes before she paused. “Wait… this could be something. Did you read this one from… M’Badu?” 

“Haven’t had a chance to read any of them. What’s it say?” 

Naja stood and walked over to where he sat to hand him the papers, sliding to sit on the table in front of him. “His cover is a doctor at the biggest hospital in the Western Province, smart cover… that’s were all the wealthy go. A life of comfort as you put it. He reported that half of their supply of medications and drugs was stolen the day after the first child was stolen. Things like anesthesia, blood supply… opioids.” 

“So? Could be for a black market or somethin’.” 

“No, I know every major player in Nigandan’s underground… none of them have the manpower, capitol, or balls to pull this off. And they are all egotistical men so they would’ve bragged about a score this big. I never even heard this happened, which is saying something. They still small amounts with the help of doctors and nurses in their pockets to avoid attention. Whoever did this has all those things and sophistication.” 

“Why you say that?” 

“Because… I didn’t think it was relevant but this same hospital houses the country’s largest scientific research center and they had a break in not long ago… about a month before the first child was taken. I don’t even live in that Province and I heard about it. It was the biggest breach of security they’ve ever had. They redid the security for the entire facility and hospital afterward. So this person had to get around all of that and M’Badu said Princess Imani had been there earlier that day visiting sick children. So they had to avoid additional palace guards too.”

“Ballsy to hit the same hospital twice.” 

“Not really when you know the health care infrastructure is crumbling. Biggest hospital in the country and the only significant research facility. If you want as many chemicals and drugs as you can get your hands on, this is your only option.” 

“What chemicals were taken?” 

“They took a bit of everything the facility had. All raw chemicals and drugs that could be used to make a million different things. Dayo and I check the black markets every night to see what will turn up but nothing of note has.” 

Erik raised an eyebrow. “Does T know you frequent black markets this much?” 

“He knows I check to see if there’s vibranium floating around. But does he know I go almost every night and sell what I can get my hands on? Nope.”

“What do you even have to sell?” 

“Whatever I can buy with my War Dog riches without raising attention… and whatever I can steal from the King and the wealthy and give back to the people where it belongs.” 

Erik was shocked, and admittedly aroused, at how nonchalantly she talked about theft. A ruthless spy indeed. 

“How’d you get into that? Also you must not do much bartending on your shifts with all this extra shit?” 

She let out a barking laugh and waved her hand dismissively. “No. Truth be told, I’m a terrible bartender, which Dayo figured out fairly early on. But Dayo is not a fool and recognized I had skills that were far more important to him so he keeps me around to bookkeep for him, manage the bar… flirt with men to get information. And some talents that he appreciates but won’t dare ask how I got. My speciality in the Hatut Zeraze … besides torture and murder, of course, was infiltration. When he realized, Dayo helped me start to steal from the trucks that supply the palace and wealthier restaurants with food and other delicacies. Sometimes from the houses of the wealthy. I take whatever I can and sell it.”

Erik let out a low whistle. “Infiltration… that shit’s hard. I was good at gettin’ niggas to talk but the gettin’ in and out was always my weak spot.” 

She shrugged as she looked down at him from her spot. “I’m surprised. All it takes is being a good liar. And you’re the best one I know,” she mumbled under her breath before she could stop herself. She clenched her eyes closed as she saw the hurt flash across his face. “Sorry, habit.” She stood up from her perch she had taken on the edge of the table by him and moved to the giant screen they had in the room. She started writing the information they had on it. 

Erik let the papers he was holding fall back onto the metal table. “My feelings for you weren’t a lie, Naja. The things we talked about, the life we wanted to have together… none of it was lies… I just… shit happened and I handled it all wrong a-”

Her hand stilled as she heard his words, painfully clashing against the narrative she had created for over a decade. Her heart wanted her to leap and fall but her brain forced her feet to remain planted where they were until he proved he could be trusted again. All of this was a good first step but that was all it was: a first step. 

“Don’t.” 

“Don’t what? We need to talk about what happened. Let me explain.” 

“Look… I want to trust you… get to a place where we can, at least, be friends again, Erik. Because as hard as I try to hate you with my entire soul… part of me will always care for you more than I should. You caught me at a weak moment the other night and I appreciate you being there for me. But nothing that’s happened should make you think the door is open for that conversation. I don’t want to hear you excuses and reasoning… whether or not what you felt was true doesn’t matter anymore. Why you left… why you said those things, none of it matters because it doesn’t change the fact that you left. All that matters is that you did it and you said it. And because of that, we can’t go back. But we can create something new… a new friendship. So all I want to see and hear from you now is something different. That’s all I have space for.” 

Erik’s head fell in disappointment at her words. He knew he should not have gotten his hopes up, that he should have listened to T’Challa and not gotten his heart back invested in Naja because she would never feel the same. He knew that was not the only reason T’Challa had cautioned him to stay away but he had not listened. He never listened. And though he knew he should take her words as fact and accept the friendship she offered, he knew it would not be enough. Whatever time he had left of freedom, he wanted to spend what time he had left with her, choosing her. He also knew her better than any other soul on this Earth, there was more than just care for her too even if she did not want to admit it. 

Luckily for him, Erik was as patient as he was committed. He would not stop trying and he would play the long game to continue softening that barrier between them for as long as he was able.  

“Ok so…” she turned back to him, a determined look on her face as she quickly changed the course of their conversation. “We have missing kids, a doctor, drugs, chemicals, and medication. But no obvious links between any of them. So we have nothing.” 

“The links are always there. We just gotta find them.” 

***

Nakia stalked through the palace, an aura of anger radiating off of her so strong that the few servants walking about immediately moved out of her way as she raced to her husband’s office. She did not give Okoye a chance to knock or announce her presence as she walked inside. She had tried to not let her overprotective nature get the best of her since her conversation with Naja that morning. However, when Ayo alerted her to Erik and Naja taking the Talon for a late night joyride, she could hold her tongue no longer. 

T’Challa glanced up from his tablet as the door opened and she swept in. However, his fatal error was not noticing the look of rage contorting her features. 

“I will come up to bed soon, my love. I need to finish thi- what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” T’Challa immediately jumped up as he realized his wife was not there to drag him from his office to get rest. 

“What part of ‘Tell Erik to stay away from Naja,’ did you not understand, T’Challa??” she exploded. No one except Nakia could yell at the King of Wakanda and the Black Panther. “Because what is happening right now is NOT staying away!” 

T’Challa grimaced. “I told him to stay away.” 

“What did you say exactly??” 

“That she despised him and that she would never forgive him, which is true. Naja won’t forgive him so there is nothing to be concerned about.” 

She shook her head as she paced up and down by his desk. “No it is not true! They are currently Bast knows where in the Royal Talon. He spent the night in her room a few days ago and they are going out on Friday.” 

“Nakia…” his voice took on a chastising tone. “You can’t spy on your sister.” 

“Do not take that tone with me as if you do not spy on N’Jadaka too. You knew this was going on and you’ve said nothing. You’ve DONE nothing to stop it. I will spy on her all I want when she is in harm’s way. Someone has to protect her, no one else in this country seems to.” 

The jab hit exactly where she wanted it to, T’Challa’s face twisting up in indignation. “That is not fair, Nakia. I protect Naja just as I do my own sister. She is my sister in every way that matters. But I cannot stop N’Jadaka from trying to mend fences with her if that is what he wants to do.” 

Nakia shook her head. “This is more than mending fences and you know it. He is in love with her and making her fall in love with him again. And you and I and he all know that cannot happen. The only person who is going to get hurt is Naja.” 

T’Challa shook his head. “What we are talking about is a hypothetical situation that is 10… maybe 15 to 20 years down the road, Nakia. The King will have to die and she would have to choose N’Jadaka among a list of eligible princes. We have years before it is even a conversation and even then, it is only a possibility. The Princess does not even want to get married.” 

“You and I both know that King Bisi did not raise a fool. There may be a list… but every nation on it knows that Wakanda, thus Prince N’Jadaka, is the list. If she is forced to marry someone, which she will have to according to Nigandan law to be queen, there is no one else who would give the Nigandans the power and resources they want and need other than him. Just because N’Jadaka chooses to play the fool and pretend that is not the case does not mean we have to. I am not ok with my sister’s heart being broken in 10 or 20 years either when I can stop it now. Since N’Jadaka and you have clearly forgotten, remind him of the promise he made to this country or I swear to Bast, I will tell her myself.” 

“Nakia… Erik offered his life and future for this country and for us. The life he has led… what he has endured because of what Wakanda took from him… he deserves happiness. He deserves hope even if it is only for a short while. Do not ask me to take it from him. I have faith that N’Jadaka will tell her when the time is right. Before it progresses to anything serious.” 

“No one deserves happiness at the expense of someone else’s. My sister deserves happiness too… with someone who can actually dedicate their entire life to her, not years with an expiration date stamped to them. I love N’Jadaka like he is my own brother and I wish for his happiness as I wish for Shuri’s and everyone else I love. But I will not allow your guilt for what your father did to hurt my sister. He broke her once and I lost her for years because of it but if he does it again, I don’t think she will be able to get back up. Tell him to stay away from her, T’Challa. I mean it. Before this ill-fated date on Friday. And do it properly this time.” 

She did not even wait for him to agree or respond before she swept out of the office, Okoye peering in as if waiting for an invitation. 

“I suppose you heard all of that?”

Okoye nodded. “Our queen’s voice does certainly carry when she is impassioned and angry at you. Did you really believe what you told the Prince that first night would stick?” 

T’Challa’s head thudded back against the soft material of his chair, his hand rubbing his eyes. “I had hope… foolishly perhaps.”

“Seems as if there is a lot of foolish hope floating around this palace since Naja returned.” 

“Do you believe it is my guilt?” T’Challa asked as Okoye handed him a glass of rum from his stash. He sought counsel from precious few people but Okoye was most certainly on that list. 

Okoye sighed. “What did you tell me your father said when you saw him in the Planes? You’re a good man, T’Challa… and it is hard for a good man to be king. You want to do right by him to make amends for what your father did and I understand that. But you, who seems determined to carry the weight of his triumphs and mistakes, aren’t accountable for what King T’Chaka did, the fate he allowed to befall his own family. That was his choice and is it a shame that he did not live to take accountability for that, yes. But that how Bast saw for his life to play out. What Prince N’Jadaka lost? That is not a debt you will be able to repay, my King. Even saving his life won’t do it. And you would be a fool to try… and you are not a fool. Prince N’Jadaka must make peace with what he lost and you, my king, must make peace with your father’s role in it. But denying Prince N’Jadaka hard truths because it makes you feel better about what happened to him will do nothing but hurt him when those hard truths come to call. And they always do.” 

And with those words, Okoye returned to her post outside his office and left her King alone with his thoughts. 

***

“Fuck!” Naja’s frustrations got the better of her as she and N’Jadaka spent another night pouring over all their notes and information. She threw a knife at the wall, the very tip of it lodging into the vibranium. “This is hopeless.”

“We have a good startin’ point. Seems like experimentation of a new drug or chemical or somethin’ is the most likely bet.” 

“Yes but what good is that if we have absolutely no way of determining what they are testing and why?” 

Erik stared at her for a moment and sighed. It did not matter how many nights they spent working on this, it would never satisfy Naja until they… she found each one of these kids and returned them to their parents. 

Naja was fascinating puzzle to him. Depending on the setting and context, he saw a different picture every time he looked at her. When they trained, he saw Naja, the ruthless assassin. She was everything T’Challa said: a lethal beauty… Killmonger’s equal in every way… just as cunning, pragmatic and unemotional as he - maybe more. That night in her room he saw the Naja he used to know, the soft second daughter of the River Tribe who could not wound a fly, much less murder a person. And when they stood among the low blue lights of Shuri’s lab, he saw the Naja he imagined she did not want anyone else to see: a ruthless assassin who was still felt everything far deeper than she should. 

He knew the real Naja was the latter version. Just as Killmonger was not the real him nor was the 18 year old he was before he fled Wakanda. It had taken a brush with death and a year to finally come to terms with the fact that it was not an either/or calculation. The real him was the best and worst parts of all of the hats he wore. He prayed to Bast it would not take the same thing for Naja. 

“Let’s get out of here.” 

Naja looked at him like he had grown several heads. “You’re joking right?”

“We’ve been staring at this shit for hours every night and recycling’ the same theories. Let’s take a break. You know one night ain’t gon’ make a difference.”

“And go where?” 

“For me to know and you to find out. Come on.” And with that, he walked out of the lab. 

Naja stared at his back for a few moments before letting out a soft chuckle and following after him. She followed his footsteps to the elevator, which took them up to the panther opening of the Great Mound. 

“When’s the last time you saw a Wakandan sunrise?” He asked as he walked to the edge of the cliff and sat down, his legs dangling off the side. A small sliver of the sun was visible over the horizon. 

“You remembered?” Her entire body stilled as she looked at him. 

“If I remember correctly, it was the sunrise over the falls specifically but I figured this would do too.” 

While sunsets were always Erik’s favorite thing about Wakanda, Naja’s was the sunrise. Different sides of the most beautiful coin Wakanda had to offer. Naja often snuck out as a child, when she needed to calm her spirit, to the falls to watch Bast bring a new day across all of Wakanda. 

“I forgot how beautiful it was,” she muttered as she sat down next to him. “Niganda has a different sort of beauty to it. But it’s not this.” 

In the distance, she could see a herd of antelope racing by, the sun only barely peeking out. They sat in silence as they both stared out into the distance. Erik could tell that the picturesque landscape was not doing much as her shoulders still hunched forward with the weight of everything she felt. 

“What are you thinkin’?” 

“That I can’t find them…. That all these kids are going to die because I’m too much of a failure to connect the dots. ‘A wallflower who will never be quite good enough’ indeed.” The words of her father rang loudly in her head. Aside from her rage for Erik, he was the other man whose words fueled this version of her, fueled her desperate need to be the best. 

Erik sighed. “You were always too hard on yourself, Naja. Never saw your potential.” 

She wrinkled her nose. “Nobody here saw my potential… my father made sure of that. Nakia’s shadow and nothing more. You know he tried to stop me from becoming a War Dog? Tried to get T’Challa’s father to decline my application.” 

Erik bowed his head. “Yea T told me.” 

“Of course he did,” she chuckled. She brought one knee to her chest and hugged it. “I passed the trainings and tests and he still tried to go behind my back to stop me from doing it. You know that’s why I became Hatut Zeraze? Wasn’t the route I intended when I applied, even Nakia didn’t go that route. But I just wanted to spite him, prove I could do it. That I was built for it. That’s all my entire life has been. Proving I’m worthy… that I’m something to the people who claim to love me. But maybe all of you were right. I should’ve just stayed in Nakia’s shadow.”  

Erik pressed his palms into the warm surface of the mountain’s cliff and scooted himself closer to her so that their shoulders were touching. He placed a tentative hand on her thigh, right above her knee, gently rubbing it. 

Her breath nearly stopped at his touch, tender and loving just as she remembered. She felt everything in that simple touch. It had been too long since she let someone touch her for comfort and in the last week, she had let him do it twice. And this time, she had no desire or inkling to pull away from him. 

“Nah we were all wrong. I ain’t just sayin’ this, Naja but you can figure this out. Your father’s words… my words… they don’t gotta be what you believe about yourself. You can choose to believe that you’re the woman who took all her pain and fashioned herself into a weapon, someone who people quake in fear when they see comin’. You think I ain’t heard stories about you since I got back?” He nudged her with his shoulder causing her to laugh. “You might’ve started down the road cause of me and your dad and whatever else but where you are now? That’s all you. So own that ’n use it to figure this out. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Always were.” 

She sighed and glanced at him. “How is that you always know what to say? It’s extremely annoying, in case you were wondering,” she added with a teasing smile. 

“I always know what to say with you. But only because I’ve always seen all of you.”

“Oof… all of me? Quite the dark picture I imagine,” though she tried to keep her tone light, Erik could see it. The shame in her deep brown eyes that she tried to hide by dipping her head, avoiding his stare. 

“Nah, parts of it are dark… but those parts were always eclipsed by light and vibrancy. There were just too many people contributed to dimming that light. Me included. But from where I’m sittin’, the only person dimmin’ your light ‘n doubtin’ you right now… is you. Can’t hide in the darkness forever, baby girl. Gotta let that sun rise at some point.” 

She rested her cheek on her kneecap, his words settling into her mind. She did not have the words to respond to that. Or rather, she had so many words, so many feelings bubbling to the surface that she did not know where to start. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, forcing them away from him as she pushed them back down where they belong. 

He did not say anything, thank Bast, he merely just took her hand, lending her as much nonverbal support as he could. She squeezed his hand gently, praying that the small gestured conveyed what her words could not. Her thanks for always seeing her even when she desperately tried to hide. 

***

Only T’Challa was at breakfast when Erik arrived, an additional pep in his step despite the somber tone this day usually had for him each year. Today was finally his date with Naja and he would be lying if he said he had not strategically picked today in hopes she would distract him from the painful memories and rage he usually felt. Naja had always been his peace and solace, his place to retreat to. She still was. 

Though she would never call it a date, it was close enough to one for him. To an outsider, it might not have seemed like much. But to him, it was everything. Spending the night with her, working with her every night, solidified one fact he had always known: he was madly and insanely in love with her. And her friendship was not enough… he’d do anything in his power to get her back. 

“Morning,” he offered as he settled into the seat across from T’Challa. 

“How are you today? I know what today is.” The words were simple, T’Challa did not even look up from his tablet as he offered them. 

Erik shrugged. “Just another day like any other day.” As much as he loved T’Challa, in his own way, his father was not a subject he would discuss with his cousin. Ever. “What did you want to talk about?” 

T’Challa glanced at Okoye who merely offered him a dead pan expression that demanded he get on with it. He closed the cover of his tablet and lifted his eyes to his cousin. Erik could immediately since the tension… a power imbalance that was not usually present when he spoke to T’Challa. He straightened up slightly, he was not speaking to his cousin today. Today, he was speaking to his king. 

“You and Naja have been spending quite a lot of time together. Daily sparring sessions. Late night rides on the Talon. You spent the night in her room?” 

Erik raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Is that a question cause seems like you know already?” He and Naja’s sparring sessions were no secret around the palace, they were often a spectacle for training Dora and War Dogs alike. Everything else was not common knowledge, though Erik knew he always had eyes on him. But Erik did not understand what that had to do with him being called to the proverbial principal’s office. 

T’Challa sighed. “Do not do this, N’Jadaka. You will only end up hurting her.” 

“Do what? Stop beatin’ around the damn bush ‘n just say what you need to say.” Erik’s patience was running thin, as it often did when T’Challa clearly had something on his mind but did not want to confront him. Save Naja perhaps, Erik was the only person in the entire palace T’Challa handheld like a child. Like he would pick up and run the moment T’Challa did his job as King and ordered him or told him something he did not like. But Erik was no stranger to hard truths, his life had been shaped by them. There was nothing T’Challa could say that would make him run, not anymore. 

“Stop working her! Naja is not a mark or a challenge to conquer. You are falling in love with her and trying to convince her to do the same because you believe you have time. Time to undo the mistakes of the past, time to try again even if it is fleeting. You made a promise and I expect you to keep it. So stop pursuing something that can never happen.” 

Erik stilled. He had made that promise to T’Challa and the Nigandans in service to Wakanda, a promise that he was assured may not even happen. Had he foolishly held onto that too tightly? Maybe. 

“You told me she didn’t even want to marry. That it was unlikely given Niganda and Wakanda’s relationship.” 

“Plenty of monarchs don’t want to get married, N’Jadaka. But she will because it is her duty. And marriage alliances are one way to cement peace, which puts your name at the top of the list. Frankly,” T’Challa sighed. “You might as well be the only name on the list. I’m sorry… I should’ve been more clear when Naja returned about this. That is my fault.” 

“Wait, wait. Nah, nah, nah. T, I’m just… I’m just gettin’ her back. This is a once in a lifetime shot. Don’t ask me to give her up. Retract my name from consideration. Please.” 

Erik Stevens had never begged another human being in his life, his pride would never allow him to do such a thing. However, for Naja? Pleas were all he had to over, pleas that T’Challa would give him this reprieve as his cousin and not his King. He could not give Naja up, would not give her up. 

“The peace between our countries is fragile as it is, N’Jadaka. Any perceived or real slight could tip the scales. I know it is not fair, I know it is not right. And I am sorry. But you made a promise when we offered up your name that you would serve Wakanda’s interests if chosen. And as your king, I expect you to uphold that. Whether it is 5 years or 20 before she is queen, you are as good as engaged to her. You need to start acting like it.” 

“So what do you want me to do?” 

T’Challa sighed and clenched his eyes closed before saying, “Stay away from Naja. Temper your feelings for her so you can fulfill your duty when the time comes. You can do whatever you want with your life and your heart until then but Naja is off limits.” 

“That an order?” 

T’Challa stood up and walked over to Erik, placing one hand on his shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off in frustration. “I tried to warn you once as your brother and hers. I hoped the knowledge that she still harbored such anger toward you would be enough to keep you away. But I was wrong. I give you a long leash, N’Jadaka and I do it because you have proven yourself worthy of it. But yes. On this subject? This is me ordering you as King. Do not continue to foster feelings you know you cannot act on. Stay away from her.”

Erik’s hands curled into fists. Those were two things he could not do. “Why’d you even offer up my name when you knew she lived there? If she had not come home, were you ever gonna tell her that the man she despises would be her King consort one day? That I would be leading the country she calls home. Were you ever gonna tell me that the woman I loved more than anyone on this planet was living in the country you offered me up to like a prized horse? I didn’t know where Naja was when I agreed to this but you did… and you said nothing.” 

“At the time, I did not owe either of you that information. And I did not say anything because your dedication to this country should outweigh whatever childish feelings you still harbor toward her. Beyond that, Nakia wants Naja here… home with us. I will not pretend as though I do not see this eventuality as a way to push her toward returning here for good.” 

“You’re talkin’ about me workin’ her like a mark? As if you aren’t usin’ this shit to manipulate her into comin’ home. Just like you did to get her back here in the first place. She deserves the truth. She can handle the truth ‘n make her own damn decisions.”

T’Challa scoffed. “Bold of you to say as if you did not abandon her and throw a grenade behind you as you went.” 

“That was different,” N’Jadaka rose from his chair, his rage getting the better of him. “And you fuckin’ know it.” 

“Hardly. You found out the truth of what happened to your parents and instead of trusting Naja with it and what you wanted to go do, you destroyed her to ensure she would not follow. You did not see what Nakia and I saw after you left. It took months to piece her back together. Nakia refuses to see that happen again. Better you hurt her now before she grows too attached to you again.” It will hurt her but it will not break her.” 

Erik shook his head, finding his cousin colder than he had ever known him to be. He was not talking to his cousin who was basically his brother. He was talking to King T’Challa, son of King T’Chaka indeed. “That’s cold, T.” 

“I know… and I take no pleasure in it. I would love for you and Naja to be what you once were. I will even admit that I may have considered it a blessed side effect of her return when I invited her back. But I am King and that means I must often act contrary to my whims of my heart and do what is best for Wakanda. And whether T’Challa, your cousin and brother, likes it or not, what best for Wakanda is that you are free to secure this alliance between Wakanda and Niganda when the time comes. You and Naja’s feelings and complicated relationship do not supersede what Wakanda needs to survive or what this continent requires to avoid another needless war.” 

Erik could not stomach to hear another word. He stood up with such force, his chair screeched loudly against the marble floors. “Yes, my king,” he sneered before marching toward the door, his breakfast forgotten. However, when he got to the door, he stopped. “Your father chose Wakanda and politics over family ’n we all know how that turned out. Thought you would’ve learned from that nigga’s mistakes but I guess you’re more like him than I thought.” 

And with that, Erik stormed out. 

***

Erik fiddled with his kimoyo beads, dreading what he had to do. Words could not describe how much he hated T’Challa in this moment. He was well within his rights as king and things had only gotten this far because Erik allowed himself to have hope - a fool’s errand really. But here he was and now he was going to have to break his own heart and Naja’s again. He hated himself for it. But he had forced himself to hurt her once to fulfill a selfish need for vengeance. He could do it again for his country. He had no choice. 

This was not how he wanted today to go. On today of all days, to have to lose another person he loved, it was too much. 

He pressed the button of his kimoyo beads, calling Naja. He hated how quickly she picked up, a soft smile on her face. 

“Hey,” he offered. 

“Hey… you ok?” She asked. “You sound weird? You better not be calling me to cancel. I let Shuri drag me to get a manicure and pedicure for this…. Painstaking shit if you ask me. I adore her but that girl basically wants to dress me up like a damn doll. I drew the line at her taking me to get my make up professionally done.” At his silence and the grimace on his face, she frowned. “Oh you are canceling.” 

“Yea, I’m sorry.” She clearly tried to hide her disappointment, the deep frown that overtook her features. He did not understand how he did this all those years ago. It felt like the worst form of torture to make himself do this again. And as he struggled to find the words, he realized he couldn’t. So like the coward he was, instead of telling her the real reason he needed to cancel, he said, “T’Challa just dumped a bunch of shit on my plate for the peace talks and it’s pretty time sensitive. Will keep me busy ’n workin’ late for a while. A-and honestly… just havin’ a really shitty day. Wouldn’t be much fun anyway.  Figured it’s only right to free you from your debt.” 

She chewed on her lip for a few minutes before saying, “No worries. Your work and Wakanda comes first and I’m sure you’ve been falling behind since spending every night helping me. All good.” 

“I am… really sorry, Naja. I hope you believe that.” 

“I do. Still have time for our sparring session tomorrow?” 

He could hear the hopefulness in her voice. And that hopefulness felt like a beacon of light in a hopeless situation for him, proof that she felt everything he felt. He lowered the beads so he could not see his face and clenched his eyes closed. He knew he should say no but he heard himself say, “Yea, we’re still on for tomorrow.”  

He could see the small sigh of relief she let out. “Good. See you tomorrow, Erik.” 

He offered her the same refrain before ending the call and tossing the beads across the room in frustration. 

***

Naja paced back and forth outside N’Jadaka’s wing. She knew the Dora stationed there was eyeing her as if she were a madwoman as she muttered to herself while holding a picnic basket and a backpack. 

“What are you even doing here?” She whispered to herself. It took all of two minutes after hanging up with N’Jadaka to realize why he had cancelled, to remember that today was his dad’s birthday. She did not even know how she remembered it, a memory so buried deep in her brain that she was shocked she was able to retrieve it. Every year on this day, Erik distanced himself from everyone and everything without a word. 

One year, when they were 15, she found him at the Great Mound watching the sunset. He had disappeared and T’Challa, Nakia and Naja were sent to find him and bring him back to the palace. Naja, who knew him best, was the only one who knew where he’d be. She did not approach him at first as he sat there quietly, she just watched him. Like a creep, admittedly. But she watched him, took in every bit of his lean teenage form as her heart ached for him more than it should at that age. 

Her heart broke as she heard his deep youthful voice, cracking with the strength of his sobs, offer a prayer to Bast on behalf of his parents, prayed they would come back to Wakanda soon, that they would return to him. She remembered bowing her head as she prayed for the same thing on his behalf. She had never met Prince N’Jobu a day in her life, just knew him as a traitor that most of the country hated, who was likely on the run to avoid facing the consequences of his treason. But even back then, Naja could not believe that was the full story, could not believe that N’Jobu stole what he did for selfish reasons, that he was just a traitor.

And that’s why she was now standing outside his door with a picnic basket feeling rather foolish. But resolved to do what Erik had done for her a few nights ago, show up for him. Because everyone deserved someone to show up for them in their darkest moments. 

She bowed her head to the Dora who shifted to the side to allow her to knock. It only took a few moments before he swung his door open. 

Naja lost the ability to speak as she took in his perfectly tone chest, the deep V that led down to his most formidable and tantalizing weapon. Her brain and the reason for her visit disappeared as a cloud of lust hazed everything. 

“H-Hi.” 

“Hey, everythin’ ok?” He wanted to scream at her that she should not be there. She could not be there. This was the opposite of distance. But try as he might, those words refused to surface. 

“Y-Yea, yea. Everything’s ok. I just… well, I know you didn’t cancel tonight because of work. I know what… I remember what today is. Your dad’s birthday. And if you want to bury yourself in work, I understand. But I figured you could use a friend while you do it. So I brought snacks and liquor and work of my own. And I have Boyz in the Hood queued up on my tablet, which I doubt is still your favorite movie. But I do remember you mentioning your dad liked it so… I thought we could watch while we work.” 

She lifted the backpack and basket in her hands as if to ask him if she was allowed inside. 

This woman, he thought to himself. Something inside him wanted to break down in tears at her thoughtfulness. And before this moment, he was not even sure his body still produced those. 

“Guess it’s my turn to be shocked you remembered all this?” 

“Well… tell anyone and I’ll have to kill you,” she joked. “I remember everything about you too. Much to my chagrin, I suppose. So can I come in?” She asked as she balance back and forth on her heels. 

Right then and there, Erik knew he had an impossible choice to make. He could do what T’Challa demanded and be the Erik that destroyed her or he could be the man he wanted to be. And the man he was and wanted to be loved this woman beyond comprehension, adored her beyond comprehension. 

It was a gamble, a gamble that could cost him her and everything he wanted. But a relationship with her was worth risking everything for… war, damaging his relationship with T’Challa… he did not care. She was worth every risk in this world. 

So then and there, he decided to hell with T’Challa. Fuck his orders, fuck marrying some woman he did not know because of a promise he made years ago. Even if it took every day of the next 20 years until King Bisi was with the ancestors, he would dedicate his life to finding a way out of that promise so he could be with the only woman that mattered in this world. The only person that mattered in this world. 

“Only if there’s some lime cake in that basket?” 

Her entire body, which was weighed down by her nervousness, seemed to lightened as she walked in past him. “As if I’d bring anything else??” 

“You didn’t have to do this. I’m sorry… for canceling on you.” 

Naja waved her hand. “I know I didn’t have to. Probably shouldn’t have. But I lost a bet. Besides, this is way better. What would the Wakandans say if they saw their most feared assassin at dinner with their beloved prince? We’d never live the rumors down. Can’t have anything destroying my… how do you Americans say it? ‘Street cred?’” 

“I thought I was Wakanda’s most feared assassin?” 

Naja tilted her head as if she had to think about it as she sat down on the giant couch in his living room. “Second… did you forget how I was beating your ass on the mat everyday?” 

“You forgot what bet you lost to earn this date, baby girl?”

“Beating me twice hardly means anything when I’ve beat you no less than 30 times.” 

“Touche.” 

He settled on the couch next to her as she pulled out all of their supplies and poured him a drink and hit play on the movie. “Remember when we used to sneak bottles of rum from my dad’s collection?” 

He let out a barking laugh. “Yea I remember you bein’ scared as fuck too. Goody two shoe ass.” 

“One of my endearing qualities back then. Afraid to steal,” she threw back her head and laughed. “Oh if the 15 year old me could see me now.” She straightened up and raised her glass. “To our 15 year old selves? Maybe they be forever shocked and dismayed by our crimes and debauchary.” 

“Cheers.” He chuckled, the first genuine laugh he had all day before clinking his glass against hers.  

They did not talk much as the movie played and they both did their “work,” which really was stealing glances at each other and Naja commenting on the movie, which she had not seen since she last watched it with Erik. 

“Can I ask you something?” She asked him as the movie credits rolled. “It’s ok if you don’t want to answer.” 

“Shoot.” Erik brought the glass to his lips. 

“Did you ever find them? Or at least what happened to them?” 

His hand stilled. He did not know how to answer that without opening a conversation that she explicitly told him was off limits. He never talked about the truth about his parents, let everyone save T’Challa, Queen Ramonda, and Nakia believe what the rest of the country believed: that his parents had dumped him at the border and disappeared with their fortune from stealing vibranium and selling it to the highest bidder. When he thought about the real story, he found it difficult not to fall back into that vengeful 18 year old he was when he left. 

“Yea,” he cleared his throat and sat up. “Didn’t have to look far, they died not long after they dropped me here.” 

She did not seem deterred by the sharpness in his tone as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry. I know you doubted it back then but I… I believe that they would’ve come back for you if they could have. Would have faced up to what they did for another opportunity to be with you.” She paused. “Everyone’s fighting to get back to something. And you were worth fighting to get back to.”

Naja did not let go of his hand or break the stare between them as they gazed at each other, their work long forgotten. Erik tugged on her arm, Naja offered him no resistance as his superhuman strength pulled her gently into his lap. His hand cupped her face as he stared into her eyes and saw his future. As breathtakingly beautiful as a Wakandan sunset and sunrise, he saw everything he wanted in this world, his first real shot at happiness. 

“You’re what I’m fighting to get back to. No matter what gets in my way or how long it takes. Rhoqo ukutshona kwelanga nokuphuma kwelanga ubomi bam bonke.” 

Tears glistened in Naja’s eyes as she heard his words. 

Every sunset and sunrise for the rest of my life. As long as she lived, she never forget those words. The words he had said when he proposed, an eternal reminder that they were two sides of the same perfect coin. 

“N’Jadaka…” she breathed. 

The sound of his Wakandan name on her lips drove him insane. Whether a plea to stop or continue, he could not hope to care.

Every fiber of her being, down to her very cells begged her to fall. The sea was right there, the water felt warm and safe and like everything she had ever wanted. And yet, her feet were still planted. Something still made her hesitate. 

And Erik could feel it, every ounce of her that warred with the other. Every cell in her body that pushed her lips to meet his and every other one that begged her to retreat. She was not ready yet, he could feel that… see that. And that was ok. They would have time, he would make sure of it. 

He forced himself to muster superhuman self control and stop himself. He pressed his forehead against hers for a moment, Naja letting out a deep exhale. 

“I want…” she whispered, her voice breaking with the weight of everything she felt for him and wanted to feel for him. She wanted him so badly but she did not want to regret it tomorrow. “I want you so badly. I’m…” she lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “F-fuck if you ever tell anyone I uttered this, I’ll kill you. But I’m scared. Fucking t-terrified. A-nd I’m j-just not…” 

“I understand.” he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “For as long as it takes. I meant that shit.” 

“I’m sorry… I should go.” She started to move when he halted her. 

“Stay.” At her weary expression, he amended. “I don’t need that. But I do need you… stay.” 

Naja nodded, there was no resistance left. Erik shifted so he could lie down and Naja laid between his legs on his chest. He pulled a blanket around them and pulled her in tightly as he cued up another movie on her tablet for background noise. 

“And I know… no one can know ‘n this don’t change shit between us,” Erik’s deep baritone filled her ears. 

“No, this time… it changes everything,” she whispered back before closing her eyes to go to sleep. 

Erik watched her sleep for almost an hour, her soft snores reaching his ears. He did not need much sleep so he merely let movies continue playing while he watched her, committing every feature on her face to memory. Once she was deep enough in sleep, Erik slid out from under her. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bed. He was surprised she stayed asleep through all of the movement, most spies he knew could wake up at mere shift of a body next to them. 

However, before he joined her, he quietly snuck to his front door, easing it open. He leaned out, getting the attention of the Dora assigned to him. 

“Teela, remember that favor you owe me?” Erik asked lowly, referencing a mission he and the Dora went on to recover vibranium not long after he returned, a mission in which he saved the young Dora’s life. She said she would be indebted to him, a debt he never thought he’d need to call in until now.

“Yes, my prince.” 

“As far as Okoye ‘n that nigga T are concerned, you ain’t seen Naja here tonight or any other night. You got me?” 

The Dora sized him up for a few minutes, Erik could tell she was weighing the pros and cons of keeping a secret from her superior and King for the prince. However, thankfully, she merely nodded and saluted him, her nonverbal agreeance to his words. 

“Preciate you.” 

And with that, he closed his door and returned to his bed. Tonight, he would not think of how he would hide what he was doing, tonight he would not think of how he was going to help overthrow the very monarchy he was promised to, tonight he did not think of how he was going to hide a potential engagement from the slumbering woman next to him. Tonight, he merely reveled in the feeling of Naja in his arms and the peace she brought, a night where his heart was calm and at ease.  

Tag list: @miyuhpapayuh @pipsqueak-98 @injerafiend @themakingsofdion @lishabaybee @certifiedlesbianbaddie @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @dangerous-history @roguekiki @mysteryuz @shyblackgurl

***

A/N: le sigh... everybody's lying to our girl smhhhh lol so hopefully you caught the couple hints in chapter 3 that Erik was keeping some secrets. But hopefully you also caught the hints that his impending nuptials are not the only secrets he is holding back. So what do you think? How do you think this is going to blow back on him? Cause you know it will lol Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!

[mermaidsirennikita]

So the Susan Elizabeth Phillips book I'm listening to is It Had to Be You (because the only Chicago Stars book I've read is Nobody's Baby But Mine and it's football season so TIME 2 GO)

And though there are for sure some choices made that VERY much signal this is a 1994 novel (one wording in like, the first chapter, made my eyebrows shoot STRAIGHT UP) (though I'll also say that this book is super about Gay Rights, like our heroine Phoebe surrounds herself with gay men and donated a fuckton of money to AIDs-related charities, and to be clear her 1990s football coach hero is also v down with the gays~, I am blindly going with it)

I will also say that whenever I read an SEP book, I'm struck by several things I find so difficult to find in current contemporary romcoms...

A) legit humor

B) ... thoughtful writing ....

C) the couple just. FUCKING AROUND.

Like, Phoebe has a lot of trauma and hangups (she's also 33, which I love! And I suspect that her hero, Dan, is probably in his late thirties/early forties) but a big part of this book is her learning to be comfortable with sex, which happens with Dan, even though Dan is in fact completely unaware that this is what is going on and just thought that her being like "Can you pretend I'm a virgin" the first time they boned was roleplaying

(Dan: WHEN WILL SOMEONE FUCK ME IN A NON-ROLEPLAYING CONTEXT???)

But like... they have sex... and he doesn't realize what a big deal it was for her so he just sorta skedaddles... and she's pissed about it so they sort of simmer in mutual "it'll never happen again" resentment... until they sorta buddy-buddy because he realizes he was being a dick (don't worry, this is SEP, he WILL be a dick again) and then she pisses him off so much by being like YOOHOO BOYS I THINK PICTURING THE OTHER TEAM NAKED WILL HELP YOU WIN THE FOOZEBALL GAME and then it WORKS, so naturally he then confronts her in the airplane bathroom directly after and she calls him on his shit and dresses him down, only to realize during turbulence-related body-slamming that her berating him made him FULLY aroused, which leads to a partial airplane BJ (her first BJ) (Dan, who does not know this is her first BJ, mentally: she is "sweetly awkward" about this) and an airplane fingerbang (complete) (this poor football team is just asleep a few feet away)

And now! They're just sorta sitting in snarky, not-dating, sometimes fucking around limbo... all while this man is fully like "I WILL BE ASKING THAT SWEET NURSERY SCHOOL TEACHER OUT BECAUSE I THINK SHE'LL BE A GREAT MOM TO MY NONEXISTENT KIDS.... TOMORROW........................... AFTER I FUCK PHOEBE AGAIN.................."

(Because mind you, when she was all "but you didn't come in this airplane bathroom" he was like "ohmigod her sweetly awkward unfinished BJ made me feel A Feeling, I've gotta put some distance between us by telling her that one day I'm going to just say 'Now' and regardless of where we are or what she's doing she needs to follow me to the closest broom closet and SPREAD'")

(to which Phoebe goes "oh actually that sounds amazing", so it did backfire)

There is no discussion of dating or their feelings! There is no rational discussion! They're just impetuously hooking up when they get horny! And sitting there snarking at the workplace (because MIND YOU, she OWNS THE FOOTBALL TEAM HE'S COACHING) while everyone on this football team probably considers whether or not this is becoming a hostile work environment! They're sort of semi-raising her teenage sister together at this point and there has been NO! DEFINING! THE RELATIONSHIP! NO! SENSE! ALL! FEELINGS! AND! FUCKING! AND! MESS!

Honestly??? It also just feels more like how a lot of relationships develop organically??? From situationships to "Oh wait, we're like... dating..." without a full-length discussion until it's already kinda happening?

Like, this is the vibe I want from a contemporary romance. Less rational robotic shit and more "local idiots stumble into love"

[justmochi]

nursery

pairing :: eden x evelyn

word count :: 2.1k

synopsis :: eden decides to surprise evelyn by renovating evangeline's nursery.

time :: december 24, 2023

warnings :: just some feel good fluff!

a/n :: eden goes full HDTV!!!

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @ateezjuliet @fromfreesia @succulentmom @kimhyejin3108 @enhacolor @multiplums @alixnsuperstxr @meginthebuilding2727 @kang-ulzzang @hybesunstone @allthings-fandoms @itzy-eve @choihaneul @strmiu @angie-x3 @Kaitieskidmore1 @evaalopezzzz

Evelyn was four days out from having Evangeline. It was two days before they were released from the hospital. Now, everyone was working to fit into their new routine with a newborn in the house.

She doesn’t know how her husband did it, but he managed to convince Eden to move into the guest bedroom. The girl never wanted to intrude or be a bother to them, so Evelyn didn’t press any further. There was still a little bit of insecurity lingering in the back of Eden’s mind when it came to her brother in law. He was too desperate, knowing how good of a support system she was for both him and her. They would need all the help they could get.

Another night with very little sleep, Eden woke up with an agenda for the day. As soon as the sunlight started to peek in through the windows, she showered and dressed comfortably. Both Noah and Evelyn had been occupied with the baby ever since they came home and she wanted to do something nice for the both of them.

The nursery had never been properly complete, not having known their baby’s gender. They may have gone a bit overboard when picking things out for the room. Eden knew they probably wouldn’t use it too often but she still felt like making everything look cute.

Heading to the closet, she started with the clothes. She picked out the baby blue clothes and set them aside. She decided that blue items would be in the bottom drawer in case they ever needed it. She came across socks, her heart aching from how tiny and adorable they were. She rolled up the clothes, making them fit into the two bottom drawers of the dresser. Eden didn’t realize just how many clothes this child had.

Eden had assisted her sister in making a board of baby decor and organization, so she had an idea of what she wanted to do.

“Hey kiddo, whatcha doing?” Eden snapped her head to see Noah in the doorway, leaning against the door with his mug of coffee.. She exhaled, getting off her bottom and standing up.

“I was feeling restless and wanted to help finish the nursery, since we know she’s a she now.” She swiped her forehead of the hairs in her face.

“Really? You didn’t have to do that. We were gonna get around to it eventually.”

“No, it’s okay. I wanted to surprise you both but…”

“I can pretend I never saw anything.” He rubbed his eyes, soon squinting them.

“Actually, I could use your help. Do you know where all the baby supplies are? I wanna organize the rolling cart.”

Even though he was visibly worn out, he was still smiling and wanted to offer all he could. “We have it all in the garage. I can bring you everything you need.”

“Of course. Just don’t let Ev see you.”

“They’re both out, but it won’t be too long before we have to feed her again.”

He managed to quietly grab all the supplies to the nursery, watching Eden sort everything out with each trip he made.

“Thank you. Try not to let her come in here, tell her I’m sleeping in or something.” They both spoke softly to each other.

“Gotcha. Just message me if you need anything else.”

Eden nodded, watching him shut the door behind him before getting to work. She put in one ear phone, playing some of her relaxing music as she unwrapped everything. She was surprised to see storage dividers in the bags. Noah actually brought in everything.

The top drawer was divided into sections, starting with diapers, then creams, wipes, pacifiers, and a whole bunch of other stuff that she didn’t know the purpose for. She stored extra diapers, wipes, swaddles, and blankets into the rolling cart. The dresser and cart was done and she was excited to move on to actually implementing the color pink into the room.

She opened the closet, surprised to see even more stuff that was bought for the baby. She reached for a random bag, noticing the separate pink and blue flowers designed for the mobile. She started by hanging up the pink roses, giving it a good spin and smiling to herself. She was relieved to find most of what she needed was already in the closet, folded on a shelf. She removed the tiny mattress from the crib, fitting on a baby pink sheet and placing it back where it belonged. She placed the Krunk plush in the corner, folding the soft blankets with him as well. She hung the pale blush curtains on a rod, feeling the sun beam into the room.

It was almost noon and she had been at work for three hours. She moved closest to the door, getting a good view of the entire room. It looked very cozy, but something was still missing.

Eden snuck downstairs, making it to the foyer before her sister caught her.

“Where are you going?” She looked saddened.

“I just have a few things to pick up at the dorms. Want me to bring back some food?” It wasn’t entirely a lie.

“Oh yes please!”

Eden never imagined she would find herself in the crafts store, but here she was, venturing each aisle to find anything that would seem fit to decorate a nursery with. She didn’t find much, at least not what her sister would like. She did find pink 3D butterflies to scatter across the wall.

She texted Noah before she left the parking lot, telling him to distract her with the takeout while she took her items upstairs to finish later.

Eden first brought in the takeout rice cakes, watching Evelyn practically drool over them. She headed back out to the car, sneaking upstairs and hiding the bag in the closet. She rushed back down as if she didn’t do anything, joining the two to eat as her sister rocked Evangeline in her arm. She was amazed by how well she multitasked.

Shortly after Evelyn finished feeding Evangeline again, her and her baby started dozing off. Eden gestured Noah into the kitchen so they wouldn’t wake the two girls.

“I’m almost done. Wanna help me add the finishing touches?” She whispered, folding her hands together at her chest.

He didn’t waste a breath, following Eden upstairs. She pushed the nursery door open and watched as his face lit up.

“You…you did all of this?” His eyes were wide as he toured the room, pulling the dresser drawers out and back in. “This is amazing.”

“Do you think she will like it?” She asked, unsure of herself. She may have gotten too into it, forgetting whose child she was actually decorating for.

“She’s gonna love it. I love it. Thank you, Eden.” He rubbed the exhaustion from his face with his hands, opening up his arms to her.

“Don’t mention it.” She hugged him, patting his back before letting go. “I got these butterflies. And some blossom petals. I thought they would be cute on that wall.” She pointed with a smile.

The two scattered the butterflies and petals across one wall. It really brought everything together, and even Eden was proud of her work. If being an idol didn’t work out for her, she would want to be a renovator.

“Eva will be waking up soon. After she gets fed, do you want to show her?” He looked towards her.

“Yep.” Eden put her hands on her hips, noting his nickname for his daughter. “We make a great team, don’t you think?”

He nodded, raising his hand. She gave him a high five before he started gathering up everything that needed to be thrown away.

“I’ll be down. I want to take a few pictures.”

He nodded, giving the room one last nod of approval before shutting the door behind him.

Eden studied the room, making sure everything was perfect and adjusting anything that threw her off. She took her phone out of her pocket, snapping pictures that she’d eventually send to the girls and Seokmin when she finally laid down. She felt pretty accomplished, needing to see her sister’s reaction right away.

She came down the stairs, seeing Evelyn fitting a small baby hat on Evangeline's head. Noah looked like he had just sat down, not getting comfortable too soon.

Eden plopped down across from them, tucking her legs under her and smiling. “How’s she doing?”

Evelyn held her, tucking her hairs under the hat before kissing her forehead. “She’s just the best baby ever. She’s just so perfect.”

Eden and Noah shared looks, her sister taking obvious note. “What? Why are you looking at each other like that?”

“Oh nothing. We just have a surprise for you.” Eden smiled.

“More like Eden has a surprise.” He rolled his eyes.

“What did you do?” She stared her sister down like she was scheming something evil.

“Just a little something.”

“I swear to god if you spent money–”

“Don’t you want to see it?” Eden pushed herself off the sofa, crossing her arms.

“Of course I want to see it. What is it?” She looked back and forth between the two.

Noah stood up, holding his hand out. She was alert, taking his hand as he helped her up. She winced a bit, currently feeling the after effects of childbirth as the medicine wore off. She cradled Evangeline to her chest as he kept a steady hand on her elbow and back.

Eden led the way upstairs, taking each step slow as Evelyn waddled her way behind her.She reached the top, holding her hand out just in case she needed it.

“What is it? You two are scaring me.”

Noah led her to the door of the nursery, noticing the letter E that had not been there before.

“Shut up.” Evelyn snapped her neck towards her sister, making sure not to disturb Evangeline.

“Surprise!” Eden reached for the doorknob, twisting it and pushing it open.

Evelyn covered her mouth with her free hand, taking slow steps inside the room. She gasped as her eyes went wide, studying each and every detail that Eden had put into rearranging the nursery that morning.

“Oh my god.”

“Do you like it?” Eden leaned against the doorframe, watching them go over everything.

She was quiet for a second, worrying Eden until she turned around to face her. Tears were actively falling down her cheeks, trying not to cry.

“Do I like it? I love it…” She sniffed, bringing the sleeve of her sweater to her eyes. Noah rubbed circles on her back as he smiled. “You did all of this?”

“Well, most of it. I figured if I was going to be staying here that I should make myself useful.”

Evelyn pouted, running her fingers across the wood of the crib, in awe of the butterflies scattered across the wall. “Eden…”

She couldn’t keep her own tears at bay when she said her name. She watched her slowly circle, eyeing as many things as she could. She reached for the dresser drawers, pulling each of them out and finally letting the sobs escape. “Eden.”

“Don’t cry! At least not while saying my name.”

“I don’t know what to say… I love it! Thank you so much.” Evelyn waddled like a penguin to her sister, giving her a half hug with Evangeline in her other arm. “Eden…It’s perfect.”

“You’re welcome.” Eden wiped her sister's tears before looking down at Evangeline. She looked perfectly content with her pacifier.

Evelyn stretched down to press a kiss to her daughter's forehead. “Don’t you just have the best aunt ever? You are so loved.”

To everyone’s surprise, Evangeline began to murmur, as if in agreement to what Evelyn said.

“Isn’t she precious?” Evelyn cried, looking up with tears coating her lashes.

Eden nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear as she leaned down to get a closer look at the baby. “And you’re the best niece ever.”

Her eyes squinted as she began to smile, squirming in her moms arms.

“You two are gonna be best friends.” Noah spoke from behind, smirking to himself.

Evelyn kissed her forehead once more, offering her to Noah. “Why don’t you go to daddy?” Eden did not miss the wink she threw in her direction.

She locked arms with her sister, squeezing as they both watched the scene unfold. Noah made goofy faces to Evangeline as he supported the back of her head. He nuzzled his nose against her cheek before he ever realized what was going on. Evelyn snorted, trying her best to hold back her laugh when the foul odor finally hit him.

“Sweetie…” He whined to Evelyn.

“Honey…It’s your turn to change her now.”

Eden quickly plugged her nose with her fingers, hiding her face in her sisters shoulder as they both laughed at him.

[chrisevansispapi]

Would’ve,

Could’ve,

Should’ve

Summary: Reader died along with Lloyd’s unborn child, and this soon became Lloyd’s Villain Story; He made it his relief/getaway to kill

Warning: Guns,Swearing,Angst and Death

Lloyd’s POV

She smiled at me as we saw our little bean in the monitor, her face happy and all glowing.

———

“baby?” I spoke,kissing her head,she hummed in response, “Please get better,for me,for the baby” her eyes soft and weak,her lips trembling and her skin paling.

“I will” She smiled weakly, “I love you” I pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

———

“I hate to make this all about me,ma, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do?” I could only weep a tear.

———

My wife laid in her bed,peaceful like she had found rest,she laid in her Sunday’s best.

“I miss you guys already” I laid my head next to her cold hands, “I was so hopeful…I hoped for a girl,now I’ll never know” “I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore,I really fucking hate that you left before me,I’ll miss you everyday and every night, but please don’t make me miss you in every dream” I could only sob next to her body and I was expecting a comforting rub on the back but all I felt was the cold air.

Two years later…

“And you’re full of shit” Lloyd shot a bullet in the assistant’s arm, “where is my wife’s necklace? Do you think I hired you to pry on my wife’s things? No, I hired you to fucking clean those things and organize them!” The assistant’s arm reached in her pockets and gave him the jewelry she stole from the closet.

“Take care of her” Lloyd handed the gun to his men, Lloyd got to your closet and put your jewelry back where they belong, “I’ll see you later in my dreams,honey” he whispered into thin air, his men thought he was a psycho,he wasn’t—a sociopath,maybe? But it was true,you came and visited him every night,carrying a baby that looked exactly like you.

“Lloyd” A mellow voice called for him in the nursery, the bassinet was all tidy and in it was a child and you seated in the rocking chair, “close the door,please” Lloyd went and closed it.

“She misses you,Lloyd” The baby smiled at him, he picked the baby up and loved every moment, “c’mere,baby” You stood up and stood next him, rubbing his shoulder.

“You gotta let go,Lloyd– it was never your fault” You whispered in his ears, “No,It was. I should’ve not let you get pregnant for my own wellbeing knowing this would’ve happened, I could’ve still be with you right now,If I didn’t make that rash decision for you” Lloyd brushed the baby’s hair with his hand.

“I wanted the baby too,Lloyd” You looked him in the eyes, “I would’ve been laying down on the bed with you, I should’ve not let my own greediness get in the way with us, I could’ve been happy with you” Lloyd wept.

“You can go on and have another family,Lloyd— just gotta let us go” You wiped his tears.

—

Lloyd arises from that dream,his sweat dripping cold and his eyes teary.

He sobbed for hours and this was his routine…

[bitchinbarzal]

Stop just imagine sway and mama happily making Kenny’s nursery there 🥺🥺

stop they’re so excited 🥺🥺

mama sways got a whole mood board made for the nursery so she’s got jeremy building furniture, they’re painting all the walls, she’s got all of kenny’s outfits hung up in the closet and folded in the dresser, books organized on the bookshelf

oh imagine his parents coming over to help and they’re so happy for their son and daughter in law

-linkedin anon

It’s giving these vibes

[broken-clover]

Glass Castles

I am distraught that I could not find the original prompt, but nonetheless I wanted to post this one. So, uh, to the person that asked for Ky-and-Sin bonding backfiring thanks to their messed up family history, I thank you for your patience, and I’m sorry I couldn’t find the proper post to respond to in order to post this

For the sake of covering the bases, I will include a warning for child abuse. Nothing graphic, but I thought it would be good to mention. Also, while not a content warning, this does get a little character-bashy in terms of Sol’s parenting skills

-

Father-son bonding time between Ky and Sin was still painfully awkward, and it didn’t take a genius to notice it. Even if Sin didn’t resent his father anymore, the two could still be very different people. Their one-on-one conversations tended to be short and awkward, even when they tried their best. There was no animosity, but something still made it impossible to fully bridge that gap.

Still, Ky did his best to try. He owed his son that much. Even just hearing his traveling stories was a delight, and those tended to be the best conversations they had. Sin would recount some bounty or another between himself and Sol, and he would listen, only interrupting every so often to laugh or offer a thought. Sin didn’t have to adore him as much as he did his mother, it only mattered that he knew his father loved him.

For what it was worth, Sin was a very impressive storyteller.

“-And- and then as soon as the old man and me started walking away, the Gear reared right back up and started shooting these big tentacle things everywhere from the spot where I knocked off its leg!”

Despite the odd phrasing at times, Sin spoke with such enthusiasm that it was hard to not get swept into his excitement. His paternal instincts took some worry in hearing about the harrowing situations his son often ended up in, but Sin regarded them all with a strange fondness after the fact, no matter how rough some of his incidents ended up becoming.

“Luckily the old man still had his sword in his hand, but I got stuck like ten feet in the air hanging by my ankles until he stabbed it a bunch! He was so cool! Hurt a lot when I hit the ground, though. So, uh, what’s up with you?”

And that was where their conversations tended to lag. It was a well-meaning question, it just wasn’t one that tended to lead anywhere.

“Nothing interesting, I’m afraid, just a lot of politics I doubt you’ll find especially interesting.”

“Bleh. Yeah, no thanks.” Sin laughed, sticking out his tongue to exaggerate his distaste.

Ky thought for a moment. “Although, I suppose it is a minor thing, in my free time I’ve been trying to sort the boxes of your things that I have in storage. I wasn’t sure if or when you’d have interest in taking any of it with you, but either way, I wanted to make sure it was kept in a safe spot.”

He hadn’t expected that to be much different than his first response, but to his surprise, Sin was unusually attentive. “Huh, really? I didn’t know there was anything, you find anything neat?”

“Well, I didn’t dig too deeply into them, I was just trying to put them in the closet,” he replied. “I don’t imagine there’ll be much in there aside from some old baby clothes, but I don’t mind digging it out if you’re interested.”

His son looked down at him with bright, curious eyes, and nodded. “Oh. Uh, alright, I suppose if you’re interested…?”

Ky led him to the bedroom that he and Dizzy shared, ignoring the paper-covered desk and mussed bedsheets in favor of the closet. Past the hanging clothes and spare boots, everything was exactly where he’d left it from organizing. He pulled out several stacked bins, plastered with labels like ’Sin’s nursery’ and ’Outgrown clothing’ he’d written out himself. As soon as one was within arm’s reach, Sin eagerly pulled the lid back and started skimming through old baby pajamas.

“Damn, it’s weird to think I was so tiny.” He hung a tiny cloth bootie from one finger, nearly filled just from that. “Babies have feet this small? Seriously? How’d this ever fit me?”

“You did grow up a lot faster than most children. If you didn’t, I think you’d be about half the size you are right now!”

“Man…” Sin felt some instinctive embarrassment at all the little frilly dresses and jumpers that his parents no doubt took full delight in making him wear, but something about it was so intriguing that it didn’t phase him.

His hand bumped against something solid buried deeper in the box. When he fished it out, he found some odd star-shaped thing made of wood. The purpose of it eluded him until he noticed a string coming off the top that led back into the mess of felt and lace. It connected to something similarly firm, then another, then more, all in different directions, until he was left holding a tangle of wood and cord.

It took him several moments to even recognize it was supposed to be a mobile. Several of the strings were tied shorter than the others, making the whole thing appear lopsided, no matter what angle he looked at it. The stars and clouds were oddly shaped and lacquered sloppily, making the colors run together.

Ky chuckled to himself. “My goodness, somehow I’d forgotten all about that one.”

“It’s funky! Where’s you get it?”

“I made it. Well, uh, most of it. I bought the music player from a friend at work, but I carved all the hanging pieces myself. I didn’t have much experience with woodworking…though I suppose that’s clear enough just from looking at it.”

“Nah, I think it’s cool!” Sin poked at one of the dangling trinkets.

“I’m glad. The first time I tried hanging it over your crib, you started crying. Your mother said it was a coincidence, but I didn’t try again. I wonder if it still works….?”

Ky felt along the main body where all the strings hung from. He twisted a metal key on the side, and a quiet melody started to play.

“Woah. Didn’t know you like, made stuff.”

“When I was working for the police, I did have a bit more time to try and foster hobbies, at least at first. Woodworking and painting were the only things I seem to recall pursuing to the point where I actually had things to show for it.”

Sin was grinning, but it faded as he turned the words over in his head. ‘At first.’ There had been a reason he’d lost any spare time, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what. He tried to his his expression, but Ky quickly picked up on his discomfort.

“No, no. It’s not like that. I took on a lot more responsibilities at work even before we had you, that isn’t something you have any reason to feel guilt over. Please.”

He wasn’t sure how much he believed it, but when his father reached out to hug him, he let it happen.

“It’s not my fault? Even when you got all sick?”

“No. None of it. And it wasn’t your fault when we had to send you to live with Sol. I only became sick because someone didn’t like that I loved your mother. Or you. And if it would ensure your safety, I would have gladly sacrificed more. I…I didn’t want to send you away, but this was no place for a child. I wouldn’t have been able to keep you safe. As much as it hurt…In some regard, I suppose I’m happy you weren’t able to see me at such a low point.”

“Heh, come on…” Sin half-chuckled, clearly trying to hide his uneasiness. “Everyone learns their dad isn’t some invincible god at some point, right?

“I suppose that’s fair.” Ky nodded. “Still, in many ways, that should not be the burden of someone so young. I had wanted to give you a happy childhood, filled with as few worries as I could manage. But raising a kingdom was a labor I could have never imagined. It came with a psychological toll that, despite all my training, I was too weak to manage. I fell into some…bad habits in my attempts to keep sane, things I would never want a young child to have to deal with.”

Sin wanted to say something, but none of the words coming to mind were meaningful. He tried thinking deeper, but found himself too distracted by fuzzy memories of half-empty bottles in his father’s study, and the man’s longstanding habit of long sleeves and covering robes.

“But…but you’re better now, right?”

Another nod, this one with a warm smile. “I’d like to think so. I wake up in the morning with happiness and a sense of purpose. It gives me peace of mind knowing you and your mother are both happy and healthy. I truly am a blessed man.”

“Augh, don’t do that, you’ve got the voice you always do whenever you’re about to start one of your speeches!” Sin gave his father a mostly-playful smack to the arm. “Don’t wanna waste too much time anyway, didn’t you say you have a ship to catch?”

“Not until tomorrow afternoon, don’t worry. I have plenty of time.” Ky picked the mobile up from the floor and put it back in the bin. “Zepp can wait. I’m spending time with you.”

“Do you take the funky shuttle thing to get up there?”

His father paused in confusion. “The shuttle? You’ve been to Zepp before? Did Sol take you?”

Sin burst into an even bigger grin, nodding so hard the eyepatch nearly slipped off. He was glad to be back on the anecdotes, instead of mulling over his familial issues. “A few times! It was a lot of fun! Was a while ago, think it was the time with the tree…?”

“‘The time with the tree?’ Now that sounds interesting, have you told me that story already?” Ky found a more comfortable spot on the floor to sit and listen.

Sin was just happy to have the conversation somewhere else. “I dunno! I don’t think so, but it’s a funny one! Promise you’ll like it!”

“I’m sure I will.” Said Ky. “So what was so important about the tree?”

“Spoilers! Uh, um, actually, I guess it doesn’t matter. So the thing is, we were just coming back from turning in a bounty. Or maybe getting the list? I dunno, that part doesn’t matter. So, the old man goes inside, and he leaves me outside by this tree to wait so he can go get whatever it is. And this whole group of kids starts showing up and looking at me funny, kept trying to mess with my eyepatch. I ended up getting really pissed and then we were all just yelling at each other and going at it! Whole mess, whole thing was just a big mess.

Then, outta nowhere comes the old man! Guess he heard the noise, I don’t think he had anything with him when he came out. But he saw that I was getting into some stuff and- haha- he wound right up, grabbed me, and threw me right into the trunk!”

“He…he threw you into a tree?”

“I know, right?” Sin laughed. “I flew right into it!”

But Ky wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t smiling. He was looking at him with horror in his eyes.

Immediately, Sin backpedaled. “It- it didn’t hurt, not really!”

“Why did he do that to you?”

“He was just trying to keep me in line!”

“‘In line’...?” Ky didn’t look any more assured by that. “Did he even try to talk to you first?”

Sin paused. “No, was he supposed to?”

He didn’t get a reply. The silence was enough of an answer. This was the opposite of what Sin had wanted.

“Dad…” He watched Ky move to stand up. “Dad!”

“I just need to have a talk with your grandfather, Sin.” Ky replied. “I won’t pretend I know everything about parenting, but beating up a child just isn’t something you do, Gear or not.”

“H-he was just fixing the problem! And it’s not like it was any worse than playing around.”

“Was he acting like it was a game? Was he acting like it was supposed to be fun?”

Sin wilted further. “Uh, no, not really…”

“Then it wasn’t playing around, I- I…” Ky took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I sound like I’m upset with you. But none of this is your fault. I just wish I had known sooner…”

It wasn’t much of a relief. Sin wished he hadn’t said anything. He hoped his father would drop the issue, but he knew better than to think that was a realistic outcome.

“Does he do things like that to you frequently? Does he hit you when you won’t do what he wants?”

“Not anymo- no, no he doesn’t!” He immediately corrected himself as soon as Ky’s expression shifted. “Y’know, it was pretty normal stuff! I got too loud when he told me to sit down and be quiet, or I get rowdy around other kids, y’know, normal stuff!”

“But never after asking you politely to stop? Never explaining why it was wrong? Sin, this is a serious thing, this isn’t normal!”

“I-it’s- he-” Sin stumbled over his words, trying to find a way to de-escalate. “It’s okay! It’s okay! He should have done it!”

His father froze, the doorknob to the hallway half turned.

“What on earth do you think could justify that, Sin?”

“Because I’m a Gear!” He shouted. “I need to be reined in. I’m dangerous, right?”

++++++

Sol was half-reclined into the plush sofa of Ky’s office. The expensive bottle of whiskey that had been stashed under the king’s desk was lazily discarded to the next seat over, drained of every drop. Several cans accompanied it, clinking against one another in the moments where he shifted to sprawl out and find a comfier position.

He could hear Ky’s storming footsteps from several halls away, but he made no motion to get up. He was familiar with Ky’s anger, whatever this was, Sol was certain he could defuse it. Or, at least, make it go away.

The office door was flung open and slammed into the far wall. Just as expected, the man’s expression was utterly livid.

“Gonna break something if you keep doing that.”

“Sol. Outside. Now.”

“Sure, sure, whatever. Just lemme finish this drink.”

An errant lightning spark knocked the can right out of his hand. “No. Now.”

“What the-” he looked between the can on the floor and Ky. “Kid, I’m not gonna-”

The other man didn’t even wait for him to speak. Ky grabbed him by the base of his ponytail and started yanking. All he could think to do was let himself be dragged. Ky’s temper had caused him all sorts of problems over the years, and he debated whether or not this was one instance where he could brush it off with slung insults, or if the man had earned himself something worse for the rough handling.

He was dragged all the way out to the courtyard, and by then, he had decided that Ky absolutely deserved whatever barbecuing he had coming. The only reason he didn’t immediately start as soon as he was let go was the sight of Sin, unexpectedly perched on the grass with an uncharacteristic timidness.

”’Dangerous.’ That’s what Sin thinks he is. What you taught him that he is.”

Sol looked between the father and his son. What was this all about? “What, you want your kid growing up thinking the fact that he can shake off getting struck by lightning is normal? Sounds like a great way to end up with someone’s arm getting ripped off on accident, boy-scout.”

“Put away the smart remarks and listen to me.” Neither Ky’s face nor his voice held any sense of levity. “I’m not a foolish child anymore. I know there are just some situations that can’t be dealt with through polite discussion. But there’s a difference between using force as a last resort and beating up a child that doesn’t know better.”

“What- ‘beating up?’ I never beat the kid up. Sure, I had to discipline him a couple times, but-”

“I can’t believe I have to say this to you, but hitting children isn’t okay! It’s not! Even if they’re misbehaving, you don’t hit them! You teach them what they’re doing is wrong, and they learn from it!”

Sol watched Sin wince in discomfort. He suddenly looked far smaller than his appearance typically suggested.

“It was just the best option at the time-”

“‘Best,’ or easiest?” Ky snapped.

Sol offered no response. None of the thoughts coming into his head seemed like they would be satisfactory. Ky was storming back and forth across the grass, almost more preoccupied with himself than with the person he was chewing out.

“Part of me is just…disappointed. So unbelievably disappointed. I trusted you, Sol. Did that not mean anything? Was this some displaced spite you held towards me? I genuinely hope so- the only other thought being that you held such a level of contempt for Sin, someone who had never done anything to earn it. You can’t tell me in full honesty that you thought this was right!”

“D-dad, it’s okay…”

“Look, I get it, okay? I half-assed it, and I fucked up your kid. But I don’t hate him, okay?? I might not have tried hard enough-”

“No.” Ky waved him down. “That’s not good enough. That’s not an excuse. You can blame laziness for the first few times, but you went far beyond that. Over the long-term, apathy and malice are indistinguishable. ‘Hard enough??’ You weren’t trying at all! You never saw how you were influencing Sin?!”

For once, Sin looked like the five-year-old that he was. His face was scrunched and reddening with repressed tears, and any way he could fold in on himself, he did.

“Don’t look at him, look at me. This isn’t something that’s going to go away, Sol. I can tolerate how you’ve treated me in the past. In some ways, I knew better. But this is inexcusable. I trusted you more than anyone to raise my son. And you hurt him. I’m not going to forgive you.” The king turned his back and started to walk away. “You are not welcome in Illyria Castle anymore. I’m going to give you five minutes to take your things and leave, or I will have you escorted out by force.”

Sol balked, completely thrown off by the statement. “Ky, this is ridiculous. You’re being stupid. You’re the diplomat, you’re not gonna talk through this?”

“This is not a negotiation, this is an order.”

“I’m not a citizen here, you’re not in charge of me. I don’t have to do what you say.”

Though he couldn’t see Ky’s face, he could hear the way that he scoffed. “I’m not giving you an order as a king, I’m giving you an order as a disappointed friend who’s going to kill you where you stand if you push your luck any further. LEAVE.”

Sin was a crying mess, and all Sol could do was stand around in bewilderment.

“Part of me is happy to know that you never spent a day raising your own daughter.” Ky hissed, his voice pure poison. “At least Sin didn’t know you two were related. How much would you have taught Dizzy to hate herself?”

Sol glowered at the man’s retreating form. He threw himself into motion and started stomping toward him.

“Kid, you can’t just-”

“I SAID LEAVE!” A bolt of lightning slammed into the ground, missing him by a mere few inches. It wouldn’t have killed him, but Sol could tell that Ky was making no attempt to restrain himself.

Though he was panting from the exertion, Ky’s voice and gaze were ruthlessly cold. “Sol. Get out of my house. Now. And you had best not try to come back anytime soon. Unless you have a very good reason for me to change my mind.”

[caesarsaladinn]

post-semester goals, a live masterpost:

immediate: May 13-18:

General:

pick up prescription

clean fridge

get 30% hydrogen peroxide for my brother (and take half of it, to use for my hypothetical skeleton project)

Bedroom:

vacuum

thoroughly scrub birdcages (parrot/parakeet)

rearrange parrot cage (different foraging toys/move perches)

rearrange parakeet cage (create foraging toys/find a feeding strategy that doesn't scatter half the food on the ground)

~75% water change in all aquariums

figure out lowest-effort way to wash sleeping bags, and do it

make a trap for the gnats that have started growing in my indoor tomato starts

get rid of the half-dead plants beside said tomato starts

Household:

vacuum

swiffer

organize/clean downstairs closet

Clean upstairs bathroom

Clean downstairs bathroom

Unclog drain sink/toilet

Clean gross area between stove and fridge

Garden:

plant tomatoes

plant ground cherries

buy ~30 gallons of nursery pots to cover the patio. maybe more. we'll see.

buy ~40 gallons of soil to fill said pots

replant strawberries (x4) into pots

plant tomatoes (x4) in ground

make watering schedule

bag and save (and make plans for?) the melon and squash seeds I recently found for free

Homebrewing:

make beer from those old stout grains I have sitting around (assuming they're still good)

scrub all old bottles and buckets

take precise inventory of supplies

Academic:

~10 blue-sky candidates for research projects this summer

feed worms

make more concentrated worm seawater

clean worm tanks

Pets:

attempt to tame and handle Chicken

aquarium census killifish/endlers/guppies/cichlids/catfish

throw away superfluous aquarium plants

buy parakeet food

get food for the roommate's foster cat

Automotive:

change car oil

research what specifically causes/how to fix "AT oil temp" warning light

Miscellaneous but important:

cook and refreeze all chicken in freezer

cook and refreeze all pork in freezer

make chicken stock

celebrate the Festival of Free Home Necessities (college students moving out and leaving useful shit by the dumpsters) (get some shelves) (there were some free ones by the antique store--make use of those???)

Just for fun:

finish MGSV

haircut

put a decent edge on that AKM bayonet hanging on my wall

and also my other two shitty old knives

fix the wobbly legs on my grill so it isn’t quite as much of a hazard as it is now

[tododeku-or-bust]

In B&R AU, is Patroclus that sort of a soon-to-be father with "Our baby is on her way I'm so so so happy I can't wait" already written all over his face? Or is he a more reserved kind of a happy soon-to-be father? Any thoughts on this? Lmao I'm not asking this about Achilles bcs I think I already know what he'd be like

The former lol. In a way he's kind of both, but you can see it in his eyes and giddy smile that he's very very VERY excited. Like all the ultrasounds are saved (at first they didn't want to know the sex, they just wanted a healthy baby, but Achilles finally slipped and told him it's a girl and Pat's off the wall he's so happy) and he will tell you all about how he's painting a nursery and building all the furniture by hand. He's organizing her closet by color, style, and expense (he'd really appreciate it if Thetis stopped sending shit and telling him what to do!) Like literally if you even bring up "baby" around him, he'll do the Anime Glasses Glow and prepare to throw down pictures and brag like it's spades lmao he is SO EXCITED.

He thinks Achilles is gorgeous with his pregnancy glow, and his new plush body. He's also very protective lol. Like if you even look at Achilles wrong he might start a fight; it's the most aggressive he's been about his partner since college (where ironically enough, he's feeling what Hector was feeling back then). So Daddy and Baby are very well cared for. When Phi kicked for the first time he started crying. He talks to her; sometimes Achilles jokes that he talks to his belly before he talks to Achilles.

[uyu-boba]

pregnant Kim would be an absolute nuisance. He would go to work every single day even if he had to waddle around. He won’t go on cases when he can no longer run (not from his lack of trying) but he WILL find something to do at the office even if it’s just making sandwiches for the whole team or cleaning the washrooms or god forbid trying to tidy up some old closet that has never been organized ever.

Harry’s baby would sit huge in his stomach and with his small frame it would make him look so pathetic. He would try to be so independent though, trying to pick up paperwork he dropped and shooing Jean away from helping. But then he finally admits he needs help getting off the floor and Jean scoops him up, promising he’ll never tell anybody.

He’d also be super anal about the nursery and he would come up with fun yet practical decor for him and Harry to build. It’s just as fun as working on the kineema together, except Kim is a perfectionist and now that he’s hormonal he will cry if things aren’t perfect. Harry accidentally makes a minor mistake and Kim is like “It’s fine, it’s not noticeable, it’s okay, you tried your best, I’m not upset, no really it’s not bothering me at all 🥲”

[nancypullen]

Nine Days Later...

Good grief, I posted about the powder room makeover and then disappeared.  We’ve been busy around here.  I’ve been doing lots of yard work and that makes me happy.  I have high hopes.  I’ve been cleaning up the tree line, raking fertilizer and soil into flowers beds, scattering zinnia seeds and sunflower seeds (cross your fingers) and generally getting ready for the blooming season.  It’s weird not having a plant nursery nearby.  There are a couple of small greenhouses, but right now they have mostly veggies, hanging baskets, and ferns.  I’m on the hunt for a flat of red vinca and maybe some speedwell.   Last week we drove into Dover to visit Home Depot.  It’s nearly an hour trip and it looks mostly like this.

Loads of farms and everything is looking green. Hello, spring! There’s a Lowe’s closer to us, but there’s no sales tax in Delaware.  Does it make sense to use extra gas to avoid sales tax?  I guess it depends on how large of a purchase you’re making.  For us, it’s fencing.  I just want a strip of pretty fence in the back yard between us and the woodsy area. If we can get it done soon I can create a pretty flower bed in front of it. I’ve done my part.  The mister bought me this little beauty and I spent two days taking out small trees and all manner of scrubby, weedy, bushes.

I have a fabulous chainsaw (it’s PINK!) but this was perfect for the job at hand.  It came with two batteries, so no gas or power cords are involved.  It’s lightweight but packs a punch.  It zipped through everything I needed to zip through and in no time at all I had piles of trunks and branches for the town to pick up.  It was a hot mess back there, and now it looks much tidier. I look like I fought off a mountain lion, but it’s done!  I’ll share pics when the fence is up.  Well, maybe sooner - as soon as the piles of tree remains get picked up.    One individual who is enjoying that tree line is Stanley.  He lounges under the birdfeeder and plays in the birdbath. He also drinks from the bird bath, but he spends a lot of time making ripples and chasing leaves around in the water.

That was pre-cleanup.  I snapped it through the kitchen window.  I don’t know Stanley’s real name, I just know that I worried about him all winter and then a couple of weeks ago he showed up wearing a collar bearing a last name and an address just two houses down.  I may be responsible for his pot belly.  I was just trying to get him through the cold months.  Oops. But back to the yard - my little Jane Magnolia bloomed like crazy, even though she’s barely a yard high.  I planted a lilac bush and a beauty berry bush (for the birdies). I put some Morning Glory seeds in the ground near the corner of the porch, hoping that it twines along the porch railings and offers pretty blue blooms.  Mickey hung a birdhouse in the Crape Myrtle tree for me, that’s also at the corner of the porch.  The front porch is in an L shape and I’ve claimed that short side as my own.  That’s where the tree is, that’s where I’ll hang a hummingbird feeder, that’s where the lilac is planted and where I hope the Morning Glory vines will bloom.  Mickey put a little wicker loveseat there for me and I can sit in the shade and listen to bird song and smell the gardens.  I’m finding my way home again.  It takes a lot of hard work to carve out a patch of paradise, but we’re getting there.  It’ll be years before most of what I’m planting matures, but by then I’ll be grateful.  Heck, I’m grateful now. I’m also very grateful for my sister.  She drove over last week and brought a car load of dolls and doll paraphernalia.  Her daughter was into all of the American Girl stuff and she no longer wanted any of it.  Two lovely dolls, beds, clothes, all manner of sports equipment (even a pup tent) , a salon chair for getting their hair done.  There are even books! I took some time to empty the closet in the grandgirl’s room to make way for all of this wonderful treasure.  While I was organizing the bounty a certain kitty claimed the bunk beds. 

She fell into a deep sleep, so I saved the beds for last. I should have poked her, gotten in her face, sat on her chest, and cried.  That’s what she does to me in the morning.  Anyway, I’m grateful for my very generous sister.  Our little miss will have a ball with all of this.

Did I mention how much fun the grandgirl had with the Egg-mazing?

You just pop a hard boiled egg into that egg-shaped spot and turn on the motor.  It spins the egg while you apply color.  These eggs were created by a 5 year old!

Prettiest eggs in town!  Easter already feels like a month ago. We’ve got a lot to look forward to - blooming season, grilling season, beach season, and more!  MY two sweet sons have planned a trip for July and will be flying off to Berlin and then to Prague.  I know they’ll have a blast.  They’ll probably visit plenty of spy museums and WWII sites.  I want them to go to the Lennon Wall in Prague and write, “My mom said to be nice.” Sorry for the boring post but I’ve been spending my days cutting down trees and digging in the dirt.  If it kills me I’m going to make every corner of this place beautiful.  Then I’ll sit on my little loveseat  on the porch, under the shade of a tree full of singing birds, and enjoy the heck out of it. Come sit with me! I’ll make lemonade and finger sandwiches and we’ll talk about nothing and everything. Doesn’t that sound nice? Alright, I’m calling it a night. I’ve got some crafty stuff in the works and I’ll share that with you tomorrow.  For now I’m off to a bubble bath and then I’m getting under the covers with a cat and a book. Livin’ on the edge. I hope that spring is filling your world with delight right now, wherever you are.  I know some areas are getting winter’s last blast, but I’ll bet that daffodils are right behind it.  Keep the faith! Stay safe, stay well, take good care.

XOXO, Nancy