#number one. this could be angstier.

[bellaxgiornata]

All These Years [Part 2: "Of Drinking and Dishonesty"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You met Matthew Murdock unexpectedly at Columbia University and you couldn't deny that there was an instant attraction–for you. But for Matt, you became as close of a friend to him as Foggy did. As the years pass by, your feelings only grow for your best friend, but all you can do is watch as he dates and sleeps with every other woman on campus and eventually in New York City but you.

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 3.9k

a/n: Enjoy the next little angsty installment for this series! I've been having fun writing a bit more about the college period than expected and our next installment gets angstier. Because who does Matt date in college? Yup. She's here. You can find the entire list of installments for this series here. Feedback is always appreciated if you're enjoying the series as well!

Tag list: @theetherealbloom @rotscinema

“Okay, okay, so I took Punjabi and didn’t learn anything. Big deal!” Foggy said, waving a dismissive hand. “At least I got to talk to that really hot chick in class.”

“But that’s all you did,” Matt pointed out. “You never even managed to get her number.”

Foggy let out a sigh, a faraway look on his face as he gazed just past Matt’s shoulder. You giggled at the sight; you’d heard the story about the girl Fog had taken Punjabi just to talk to many times before, but it never failed to amuse you how little he’d actually learned because he’d been distracted by her instead.

“So what about you?” Matt asked. 

He turned in your direction, leaning his elbows along the table and drawing himself closer to you. Your fingers were fiddling nervously with the beer bottle on the table in front of you, absently peeling the label from it. The way Matt was focused on you with that little grin on his mouth in the dimly lit bar had sent your heart racing, the weight of his sightless gaze on you behind his dark glasses making you nervous. For a moment your eyes lingered on his lips, wondering just how great of a kisser he might be. How it might feel if he just leaned a bit closer towards you and connected his mouth to yours. Or what it would be like to curl up with him in your bed after this, feel his tongue in your mouth and his hands roaming your body instead of someone else’s…

You cleared your throat, shoving those thoughts quickly away. You flushed when you realized you’d been staring silently at Matt, his brows having started to rise curiously onto his forehead at you.

“What about me?” you asked awkwardly.

“I never hear you talk about going on dates or taking classes just to meet a guy,” Matt said, that grin still on his mouth. “I think it’s your turn to spill some embarrassing stories.”

You met Foggy’s eyes on your other side, his smile faltering at Matt’s question. Swallowing hard, your gaze quickly dropped down as you focused on your beer bottle in front of you again. You shrugged in response.

“Guess no one’s caught my eye,” you lied.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Matt shaking his head. Looking back up at him, you noticed his grin had widened on his perfect mouth. Immediately you frowned at the sight.

“Come on, be honest here,” Matt pressed, leaning even closer to you as one of his dark brows rose up onto his forehead. “You’ve never taken a class just to talk to someone? Or anything like that?”

You exhaled slowly, eyes falling away from Matt. It’s not like you could be entirely truthful here. Maybe you hadn’t taken a class to get to know someone you’d had a crush on like Foggy, or asked for assistance to intentionally get some one-on-one time with someone like Matt had often done. But you had become best friends with the guy you had a thing for. Rearranged your entire schedule to fit his so you could see him almost every day despite how utterly pathetic it often made you feel. 

But you certainly couldn’t admit that .

“Don’t tell me there’s no one you have a thing for,” Matt urged after a moment. “I won’t believe you.”

His arm slid across the table to nudge yours in a friendly, playful gesture. Your eyes instantly dropped down to where he’d touched you, your arm feeling like that single, brief touch had sent a burning fire through your entire body. But when your eyes darted back up to Matt’s face, your attention was drawn to just over his shoulder. There was a young woman in a group of a few others back at the bar, and it was obvious how her attention kept shifting back to Matt, checking him out.

Shoulders slumping, your head dropped low as you focused back on your beer bottle. That jealous, dejected feeling washed over you. It was one you’d become familiar with lately, feeling it whenever Matt was flirting, or being checked out, or out on a date, or clearly out having sex with someone. 

“Not anyone who’d ever notice me,” you muttered.

“Oh well now I’m sure that’s not true,” Matt said good-naturedly. “How could someone not notice you? You’re amazing. Right, Fog?”

Your head flew up, eyes going wide at Matt’s compliment. He’d called you amazing. Matt had never said anything like that before about you. Your mind suddenly was spiraling in a different direction for once, thoughts quickly running through your mind one after another.

Could Foggy have been right? Was it possible Matt maybe did have an interest in you? Maybe all this time all you’d needed to do was just tell him how you felt. Maybe he’d never asked you on a date before because you weren’t forward with your feelings like all of the other women who’d very openly flirted with him. 

Maybe it was just as simple as that.

“I tell her that all the time,” Foggy agreed easily. “And I’m sure whoever this guy is sees it, too.”

He shot you a pointed look before his eyes darted meaningfully across the table to Matt. Slowly your gaze followed where Foggy’s had, attention returning back to Matt. He had focused back on you as well, that beautiful charming smile of his on his mouth. Biting your lip, you contemplated thinking up some way to just tell Matt how you felt here and now and put everything out there in the open. Especially before the girl making eyes at him could come over and steal him away for the night. But before you could open your mouth, Matt was continuing on.

“You should really give yourself more credit,” he told you. “Any guy would be lucky to take you on a date.”

Hope was quickly rising in your chest, your body suddenly feeling weightless. “You–you think so?” you asked him cautiously.

“Absolutely,” he answered, one hand coming up to readjust his dark glasses on his nose. “You’re a sweet, intelligent girl. And you’re funny as hell. Honestly, I was not expecting you to be as hilarious as you are.”

“Yeah?” you asked.

Beside you, you noticed the way Foggy’s wide eyes were darting back and forth between you and Matt like he was just waiting for the moment one of you admitted feelings or something. It felt like your stomach was filling with hundreds of anxious butterflies all flapping about inside of you as that hope only bloomed further in you. 

“Oh, definitely,” Matt said with a nod. “You’re like a female Foggy. Which is high praise, because Foggy is the absolute best friend anyone could ask for.”

Instantly you deflated as if Matt had just punched you in the gut. 

You’re like a female Foggy.  

…the absolute best friend anyone could ask for.

Mouth dropping open, you sat there dumbfounded and hurt. Every ounce of hope that maybe you’d misread the situation–maybe he didn’t see you as just a friend–immediately dropped into your half finished bottle of beer and drowned. Your chest felt hollow as Matt’s smile briefly faltered before you. 

Attention returning back towards Foggy on your left, you saw him shooting you that all-too-familiar sad smile again. You wanted to crawl under the table and cry at the sight of it.

“You’re both suddenly really quiet,” Matt pointed out, his tone a bit nervous. “Did I–I say something wrong?”

You couldn’t look at him, your gaze dropping yet again to the table before you. Tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to fight them back, clearing your throat as you blinked hard a few times. 

“No,” you answered softly. “Thanks, Matt.”

“You–you sound upset,” he pointed out. “What’d I say wrong?”

“Dude,” Foggy began immediately, “you just told her she was best friend material when you were supposed to be giving her encouragement that she is more than that.”

“What? No,” Matt said quickly.

Your eyes caught sight of how fast his head turned in your direction out of your peripheral. That hollow feeling felt like it was only growing in your chest the longer you sat here. Maybe you should just call it a night and head back to your dorm before it swallowed you whole.

“That’s not what I meant,” Matt said earnestly. 

He said your name, his hand reaching out and feeling along the table before it eventually landed on your wrist. Your eyes snapped shut, your jaw clenching at the contact of his skin on yours when his fingers encircled your wrist. It wasn’t helping.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to say you were just friend material,” he continued. “That’s not what I meant. It came out wrong.”

“It’s fine, Matt, I get it,” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

“No, hey, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot,” he said in a rush, his hand holding tighter to your wrist. “Please don’t get upset. I just meant you’re a really great person, one of the best I’ve ever met. I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

“Yeah, alright,” you said with a nod, desperate for him to just stop.

“How about this,” Matt said, his tone picking up to something brighter, “you bring me with to meet this guy, and I’ll be the best wingman ever." 

You slipped your wrist out from Matt’s hold, no longer interested in sitting here and finishing your beer. Walking home in the cool evening and crying sounded vastly more appealing. Abruptly shoving your chair out, the legs of it making an irritating screech along the floor that was audible over the pop music playing, you slipped out of your seat.

“You heading back already?” Foggy asked, that knowing look on his face.

“Yeah, early class tomorrow,” you answered.

“Wait, hang on,” Matt said, pushing his own chair back as he turned in his seat towards you. “If you’re leaving because I upset you, I’m sorry.”

You sighed, pushing your chair back into the table so he wouldn’t end up tripping over it when he inevitably got up. “I’m leaving because I have an early class in the morning, Matt,” you deadpanned.

Your eyes caught the brief twitch of his eyebrows on his forehead as if he somehow knew you were lying. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off before he could try to apologize yet again. That, too, wasn’t helping. 

“I’ll see you guys later,” you said quickly, shooting Foggy a wave as you took a step back.

“Dining hall for lunch tomorrow?” Fog asked hopefully.

“Sure,” you answered, shooting him a tight smile. Turning, you muttered under your breath, “If I even have an appetite by then.”

Weaving your way through the fairly busy bar, you eventually made it to the exit. You pushed the door open, stepping out into the chilly late spring evening. You felt a bit of the tension easing from your body already, the street noise of the city vastly preferable to you than being in Matt’s proximity right now. You couldn’t sit there any longer listening to him apologize to you for viewing you as only a best friend. 

You were an idiot to have thought there was hope for something more between you both. Of course he was only saying nice things that a friend would say to another friend to make them feel better and build them up. It was the same thing he’d probably say to Foggy if he was interested in a girl. How stupid you were to think of it as anything else. 

Any guy would be lucky to take you on a date.

You laughed bitterly at his comment, your arms hugging tight to your chest as you made the short trek back to campus and towards your dorm. Any guy except for Matt would be lucky to take you on a date, that’s basically what you gathered this evening. Matt was probably going to be hit on by that girl at the bar in a matter of minutes. You were positive he’d end up in either her dorm or his shortly afterwards. But you were not someone Matt would take on a date.

A frown twisted your mouth downwards, tears stinging at your eyes. You didn’t want to think about yet another conquest for Matt. It felt shitty that Matt would sleep with almost any girl on campus except for you. Not that that’s all you wanted from him–because you wanted vastly more than to just fuck him–but it made you feel like there was something wrong with you. 

Why weren’t you good enough? What was so different about you that Matt didn’t want you like he did with those other girls?

A tear slipped down your cheek and you reached a hand up, wiping it away. Seconds later you heard your phone ringing in your pocket and your frown deepened. You reached down, pulling it out and looking at the caller ID. Matt’s name was on the screen. Your eyes closed as you came to a stop on the sidewalk. You didn’t want to talk to him, why the hell was he calling you?

For a minute you considered letting his call go to your voicemail and ignoring it. You could always just tell him later that you’d had it on silent and didn’t realize he’d called until the next morning. How would he know you were lying? 

But you felt guilty at the thought of ignoring him just because he’d unintentionally hurt you. It’s not like Matt could control who he was or wasn’t attracted to. That wasn’t his fault. With a sigh you flipped the phone open, bringing it to your ear.

“Hey, Matt,” you answered, trying to keep the waver out of your voice.

He greeted you with your name, his voice sounding a little out of breath. You frowned.

“What’s going on? Something happen at the bar?” you asked, brows furrowing.

“No, not exactly,” he answered quickly. “Fog saw this girl he likes there. I think her name is Marci? Figured I’d leave him to it and check on you, actually. Which is why I called. How far from the bar did you get? I was trying to catch up.”

Biting your lip, you turned on the spot, stepping out of the way of a small group of college kids walking past you. A little ways back you could make out Matt’s form heading down the sidewalk towards you, his cane tapping away in one hand, his other hand holding his phone to his ear. Shoulders dropping, you realized you were going to have to walk back with him. Which was the last thing you’d been wanting to do right now.

“You didn’t need to leave on my account, Matt,” you told him.

“You seemed upset, I didn’t want you to walk back alone like that,” he replied. “So how far away did you get?”

Sighing, you began walking back the way you’d come. “I can see you, I’ll just turn back around and meet you in a minute,” you said.

Both of you exchanged goodbyes before you hung up, slipping your phone into your pant’s pocket before you once again uncomfortably wrapped your arms around your chest. It took you about a minute to reach Matt and you greeted him once you did, watching as his head darted in your direction. That damn charming smile slipped onto his face instantly and you hated the way it made you feel.

“Was hoping I’d manage to find you,” he greeted you back.

“Congrats,” you muttered. “I can walk you back to your dorm, if you want.”

“Well now that defeats the purpose of me walking you back to your dorm,” Matt countered cheekily.

You rolled your eyes, unable to fight the small smile snaking its way onto your lips. Reaching out, you placed Matt’s outstretched hand in the crook of your arm. His warm fingers curled around you, that hollow pit in your chest suddenly growing larger as you began to guide him back towards campus. 

For a little bit neither of you spoke, your body tense as Matt held onto you while the pair of you walked back towards your dorms. His cane tapping along the pavement mixed with the noises of the city, the sound lingering heavily over the pair of you.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked, eventually breaking the silence.

His question caught you off guard, your lips pressing together as Columbia came into view. Once again, it’s not like you could be truthful with Matt. You couldn't tell him you had feelings for him–had them for months–and that him calling you a female Foggy had deeply hurt you. You’d only embarrass yourself and ruin your friendship with him.

“Yeah,” you answered.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his head turn swiftly in your direction. Your teeth ground together under the weight of his attention. 

“Can you be honest with me this evening?” he asked.

“Who says I’m not?” you countered.

“Because I know you,” he answered immediately. “You sounded close to tears earlier before you left the bar. You’re not telling your usual jokes or laughing. You’ve been pretty quiet most of this evening, especially during this walk. You’re just giving brief responses when I know you love to talk.”

Your eyes remained fixed on the sidewalk before you as you led the pair of you down a different path, one that would bring you towards the residence halls. Internally you cursed Matt and his astute observations. 

“Was it what I said at the bar?” he pried. “Because I didn’t mean it like that, I swear.”

“Can we please stop talking about that already?” you snapped.

Heat flooded your cheeks immediately after your outburst. You hadn’t meant to snap at him, but you were tired of hearing his apology. And you certainly didn’t need to hear him offer to be your wingman again.

“So it was what I said,” he replied. 

His head turned, his attention once again on you as you both continued to walk. Your gaze remained fixed ahead of you, though.

“Why did that bother you so much?” he asked gently.

“Because I–” you stopped instantly, unsure of how to navigate this conversation without giving everything away. You sighed, shaking your head. “Because I’m always the friend,” you admitted weakly, tears stinging at your eyes again. “And I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Matt said earnestly. “Why would you even think that?”

You shook your head, glad when you saw your building coming into view. You were desperate for an excuse to get out of this conversation. Especially because you felt the threat of tears growing stronger.

"It doesn't matter, forget I said that," you replied.

Matt pulled you to a stop on the sidewalk instantly. Surprised, you turned towards him, beginning to blink back the tears threatening to spill forth.

"It does matter if it's got you this upset," he pushed. "I meant what I said earlier. Any guy would be lucky to take you on a date. And if whoever this guy is has got you feeling this down on yourself, he's probably an asshole."

You couldn't help the humorless laugh that fell out of you. Little did he know he'd just called himself an asshole and you couldn't help but see the humor in it. The sound of your laugh only caused Matt’s brows to furrow though, his fingers tightening their hold on your arm. 

"What?" he asked. "Why is that funny?"

Because it's you, you idiot.

"It's not funny," you answered instead. "I just feel stupid."

He said your name softly, shaking his head. "Hey, you're not stupid" he assured you.

You couldn't stop the tears that fell, that ache in your chest only deepening with every nice word from his mouth that didn't mean what you desperately wanted it to. Matt's head tilted to the side at your silence, but the moment you couldn't fight back a choked sob, he was quickly pulling you in towards him.

One of his arms wrapped around your back, the other gently drawing your head towards his solid chest, cradling you carefully against him as his fingers lightly stroked their way through your hair. Your own hands easily wrapped around him, holding tight to him as you cried into his shirt. His hand along your back began rubbing a soothing pattern, managing it somehow even with the cane still held in his hand. His comforting presence only had you fisting his shirt tighter in your hands as you became overwhelmed with your emotions, crying harder when you felt him rest his chin along the top of your head. Somehow his hands held you even closer to himself. 

You'd often imagined what it would feel like to be in Matt's embrace so many times before; what it would feel like to be in his arms, breathing in that warm, familiar scent of him. But you’d never pictured it like this. Never because you were crying over not being able to be with him while he unknowingly comforted you for it.

"Maybe he's not the right guy," Matt whispered. "If he can't see how great you are, maybe he's not the one worth feeling like this about."

"He's not an asshole though," you choked out, voice muffled against his chest. "That's the thing."

"You'll find someone," he assured you. "Someone who will see every wonderful thing about you. Someone who won't make you feel like this about yourself."

"He usually doesn't," you muttered. 

"Usually doesn't what?" he asked softly.

"Make me feel like this," you said, turning to rest your cheek against his chest. "Usually he makes me feel good. Happy." Your fingers tightened their hold around his shirt as you sniffled. "Special. But–but he doesn't know how I feel and I am positive he doesn't feel that way in return. And that's what hurts."

"How do you know if you don't tell him?" Matt asked.

Matt’s words at the bar ran through your mind again and your eyes snapped shut. 

You’re like a female Foggy.  

…the absolute best friend anyone could ask for.

"Believe me, I know," you answered stiffly. 

Forcing yourself to release your hold on Matt, you stepped back as he untangled his hold on you in return. You wrapped your arms uncomfortably around yourself yet again, your attention on your feet. 

"Sorry, this was stupid," you mumbled. "I can finish walking to my dorm myself, Matt. But thanks for uh, trying to help."

He took a step towards you, concern clearly written on his face. "I can walk you the rest of the way. It's not–"

"I want to be alone," you told him firmly. 

He stared at you in silence for a moment before he finally nodded. "Okay," he replied. "I'll see you tomorrow though, right?"

You sighed heavily, eventually nodding. Because you knew you were too weak to give Matt up. You knew that despite how much it hurt to see him with other women all the time, the thought of him permanently missing from your life hurt worse.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, Matty," you whispered. 

Turning, you made your way down the path towards your hall, tears still silently streaming down your cheeks. You ignored the stares of passing students, wiping away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand as you walked. 

These feelings would eventually fade. They had to.

[petitemistletoe]

Union

Pairing: James Potter x Reader, Regulus x Reader, James x Regulus

Warnings: angst, homophobia, abuse, outing, pregnancy

Word Count: 5.4K+

A/N: Part 3 to Hate! This is a lot angstier and darker than the last two parts

Regulus had been avoiding you and James like the plague since the night of the concert. You had tried to talk to James about it but once again he had told you he wanted to forget it. You suspected this time around, though, he was more concerned with the idea of Sirius finding out. You were laying in your dark, cool dorm with the curtains drawn in the middle of the day. You had been sick for the past few days, feeling overly nauseous and sweaty. James had stopped by your dorm before Quidditch practice to check on you and ask if you wanted to come but you just shook your head, telling him you would see him at dinner. 

You finally pulled yourself out of bed to go to the hospital wing to see if Madame Pomfrey could help you. You stepped into the bathroom to wash your face and saw that one of the other girls had left a tampon sitting on the counter. An icy wave of realization washed over you as you realized your period was over two weeks late. Your period was never late, you had been regular since you had gotten it so this was cause for stress. You made your way down the hospital wing, this time with different intentions. Luckily for you, the hospital wing was empty, only Madame Pomfrey was around, working like a little cyclone. 

“Madame Pomfrey?” You cleared your throat. 

“Yes!” She turned and gave you a warm smile, “I’ve heard you’ve been a bit under the weather, dear. Why don’t you have a seat?” She pushed back the curtain to one of the beds and gestured for you to sit down. You felt tears start to well in your eyes as you took a deep breath.

“I, um, I think I need a pregnancy test.”

“Can you tell me about your symptoms, dear?” Madame Pomfrey had a neutral expression on her face but you saw the way her eyes widened when you asked for the test. 

“I’ve been pretty nauseous these past few days and my period is over two weeks late.” You said, digging your nails into your palms trying to stop tears from coming. 

“Alright dear, there could be a number of things causing this but why don’t we give you the test and we’ll go from there.” Madame Pomfrey gave you a comforting pat on the shoulder before disappearing into a cupboard and reappearing with a test. She gave you privacy to take the test and then set it on the counter and told you to wait a quarter of an hour. She gave you a cup of tea and began to sip her own when a group of students burst in to the hospital wing. 

“What’s going on?” Madame Pomfrey immediately had her hands on her hips. You quickly shut the curtain and pulled your knees to your chest. You could hear chatter and Madame Pomfrey ordering the students to leave, save for the injured student. It seemed that someone had been the victim of one of Sirius’ famous never ending exploding inkwells and the student could not stop vomiting ink. 

“Hold on a moment, dear, this will stop the ink from coming but you’ll need to rest for a few moments to make sure all the ink on your tongue is out.” She handed the student a bucket and made her way back over to you. She opened the curtain only slightly so she could enter and then immediately closed it behind her to preserve your privacy. 

“Alright then, let’s look at this.” Madame Pomfrey put her glasses on and then held the test to her eyes. She let out a small gasp before clearing her throat.

“Oh my god,” you said, your heart dropping into your stomach.

“The test is positive. However, you have many options for how you would like to proceed.” 

“I think I need to go,” you said, your blood was roaring in your ears, “I need to talk to James.”

“Of course, dear. You will need to meet with a more specialized mediwitch that I can put you and your parents in contact with whenever you need.” Madame Pomfrey smiled at you. You could only nod as you collected your things and pushed the curtain open. You were exiting the hospital wing when someone else threw open their curtain and called, 

“Madame Pomfrey I think I’m alright now.” The student stood from the bed and you felt the blood drain from your face. It was Regulus.

“Oh, hi.” He said, looking at you up and down. 

“Hi, what are you doing here?”  

“Sirius and his exploding ink well nonsense. What are you doing here?” The question was innocent enough but you felt your eyes welling with tears again. 

“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” Regulus looked incredibly uncomfortable watching you break down in front of him.

“Sorry,” you said, wiping your eyes and nose, “it’s nothing. I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Dear, would you like to keep this? Oh Mr. Black I’ll be with you in a moment,” Madame Pomfrey was handing you the positive test. Regulus looked down at the test and then back up at you and his already pale face became even more devoid of color. 

“Thanks.” You said, shoving the test in your pocket and running out of the hospital wing. 

You ran out to the Quidditch pitch and laid your hand on your stomach as you tried to catch your breath. You immediately realized what you were doing and your hand shot back like it was on fire. James was finishing with practice and he was on the ground, talking with the rest of the team. 

“Hey! Isn’t this a nice surprise.” James said after the team dispersed and headed towards the shower. He hugged you but the smell of his leather gloves and sweat soaked skin was too overwhelming and you immediately turned and vomited on the ground. 

“Oh whoa, still not feeling better? Have you gone to see Madame Pomfrey yet?” He asked, handing you his water bottle. You swished out the taste of vomit and spit again. 

“Uh yes. We have a problem.” You said, your hand resting on your stomach again.

“Alright,” James chuckled, “you’re freaking me out a little. What are you pregnant or something?” He said it as a joke but his smile dropped when he saw your face drained of color. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He said, staring at your stomach as if he expected to see the baby kick at that very moment.

“I went to Madame Pomfrey today when I realized that I was two weeks late and I took a test and she confirmed it.”

“Okay, okay,” James ran a hand through his messy hair, “Let’s go talk about this somewhere a little more private. Why don’t we go down to the lake?”

“James,” you put your hand on his chest, “before I go anywhere with you I need you to shower.” 

Twenty minutes later you were sipping a cool glass of water while sitting by the Black Lake. You used to love coming to the lake, you and James had many picnics down here, you would run around with your friends down here, you would take walks down here, but now you felt nauseous from the smell of the squid and the scent of James’ body wash.

“This obviously isn’t ideal but you know that I love you and I know my parents would love to have you and while they’ll be a little peeved that this is all happening before we graduate I know they’ll be thrilled to have a little granddaughter or grandson.” James was rambling a bit but he was looking at you with big eager eyes. 

“So that’s the other thing,” you said, looking at your lap, “I don’t think it’s your baby.”

“Excuse me?” James looked at you like you were trying to make some weird joke.

“You’ve never cum inside of me. Regulus did that night.” You said, looking down at your feet. 

“Oh my god,” James looked sick all over again. 

“What am I going to do?” You felt tears pushing at your eyes and you were fanning your face to cool it off before you really burst into sobs. 

“Hey,” James grabbed your hand, “it makes no difference to me. That’s my kid in there.” He smiled and put his hand on your stomach. You really started to cry then and you buried your face in his shoulder. He rubbed small circles on your back as you collected yourself.

“There’s another thing,” you said, sniffing hard.

“I don’t know how many more things I can take,” James said with a nervous laugh. 

“I think Regulus knows.”

“What do you mean you think he knows?”

“He saw me with the test at Madame Pomfrey’s.”

“Did he say anything about it?” 

“No. But if he knows I imagine we’ll hear about it soon.” 

“Alright, we should probably head to dinner. Don’t want to raise any suspicion.” James helped you up and together you walked to the Great Hall. 

Dinner was a bit of precarious affair. While you usually loved the great selection of foods that Hogwarts displayed for you, you found yourself feeling sick at all the intense aromas. You were able to find a tureen of chicken soup which you sipped with your icy goblet of water. 

“Baby, you should eat something more substantial.” James said, trying to offer you a piece of his chicken and mash. 

“I’m just so nauseous.” You shook your head, pushing away James’ fork. 

“You feeling okay, love?” Remus asked, taking stock of how pale and shaky you seemed. 

“Just a little stomach bug,” James responded quickly. 

“You’re still sick?” Sirius jokingly held his shirt up over his nose and mouth and scooted away from you.

“It’s just a stomach bug, Sirius.” You rolled your eyes and went back to sipping your soup. James was rubbing your back when you saw Regulus stalk past your table. 

“I need to talk to you.” Regulus said, his intense gaze boring into your soul.

“Why?” Sirius asked, looking between you and Regulus.

“We’re, uh, partners in potions,” you said quickly, “it’s about that, right?”

“Yes. Can we talk now, please?” Regulus grabbed you harshly by the forearm.

“Oi!” James immediately shot to his feet, “Don’t manhandle her like that.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just go.” You and James followed Regulus out of the Great Hall. You could hear Sirius saying to Remus, 

“They’re all being so weird.”

Regulus insisted on taking you to the room of requirement for ultimate privacy. You were going to protest but the lack of privacy was what caused Regulus to find out about this all in the first place so you figured you didn’t have legs to stand on.   

The room of requirement looked like an empty classroom and you didn’t have a clue what made it so special but Regulus was pretty convinced that you didn’t need to cast a silencing charm or anything before diving into your conversation.

“That’s my baby, isn’t it?” Regulus asked.

“In a manner of speaking.” James said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Regulus was on guard. 

“It means,” You cut James off, “that technically it is your baby. You came inside me the night of the concert. But it’s okay, Regulus, James and I are going to raise the baby like it’s our own child. You don’t need to be involved at all. No one ever has to know.”

Regulus had an odd expression on his face. 

“That’s my baby?”

“The baby will be fine as a Potter.” James said stoically. He put his body between yours and Regulus’ to signify the end of the conversation. Regulus nodded at James before lifting his head and marching out of the room. 

You didn’t hear from Regulus for two more weeks. You had asked James to avoid telling his parents until you were able to tell your own. How were you even supposed to start? Every time you started penning a letter, you would get to the part where you would tell your parents about the baby you found yourself crumpling the parchment and burning it. You were currently distracting yourself from such a task by laying on James’ bed in the boys dorm and watching Sirius agonize while James was at Quidditch practice. Sirius and Regulus were called home for a funeral of some distant family member and he was going to have dinner with his family for the first time in a very long time.

“I look ridiculous!” He complained, looking at himself in his dress robes. 

“You look fine,” you said with a head shake at the same time as Remus who said, 

“You do look ridiculous.”

“Oh my god! That’s it. I’m not going.” Sirius flopped down on the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. 

“Remus is joking!” You said, moving so you could punch Remus in the shoulder. “You look very handsome, Sirius.” You said with an earnest nod. 

“What do I care that some weird racist uncle finally kicked it? Why do I have to go to his funeral?” Sirius groaned. 

“Do something!” You begged Remus. Remus sighed and put his hand on Sirius’ arm. 

“Stop pouting you big baby.” Remus said, “When you come back I’ll blow you. How’s that?”

“Are you being serious?” Sirius said, sitting up and looking at Remus.

“Don’t make me change my mind.” 

Sirius shot up and ran out to meet Regulus in McGonagall’s office. 

“I am sorry for your loss, gentlemen,” Professor McGonagall said, holding her dish of floo powder out towards Sirius and Regulus. They both flooed back to the Black Manor for the bleak affair. That evening, Sirius and Regulus were seated at the ostentatious table for dinner with their parents. Luckily for Regulus, Sirius was being his usual ridiculous self, using anything and everything to piss their parents off so the attention was off Regulus. Regulus’ brain was racing. You were carrying his child. He was going to be a father. But did he want to be a father? Did he want James Potter raising his child? Did he want you raising his child? Did raising his child with James mean that he would be able to have sex with James again?

“Regulus,” his father had been calling him for quite some time. 

“Yes father?” Regulus looked up at his father. Sirius was staring at Regulus with a strange expression on his face. 

“How has Slytherin been doing in Quidditch?”

“Oh, oh. We’ve been doing well. We’re due to play Gryffindor in a few weeks and it promises to be an excellent match.” Regulus said, pushing around the food on his plate. 

“Don’t,” Walburga held her hand up to stop Sirius’ retort before he could say it. “Are you alright Regulus?” 

“I’m fine.” Regulus brushed off his mother’s comments. 

“Are you?” Walburga narrowed her eyes and before Regulus knew what was happening, Walburga had pushed her way into Regulus’ mind. Regulus forced himself to push the interaction with James out of his brain. To erase James from his mind. He couldn’t have his mother knowing about that. Instead his mother saw Regulus with you. And then you telling Regulus about the baby. 

“Did you know about this? That mudblood is your friend?” Walburga screamed at Sirius.

“What are you talking about?” Sirius asked, mouth open. He looked at Regulus in confusion. 

“Get out, Sirius.” Walburga commanded. 

“No! What are you talking about? What is she talking about, Reg?” Sirius looked between Regulus and his mother. 

“Just go.” Regulus whispered. Sirius looked like he was going to protest further but he was pulled away from the table by his father. It was just Regulus and his mother at the table. He felt impossibly small. 

“You impregnated a mudblood.” Her voice was steely calm. 

“Her father is a pureblood and her mother is a halfblood.” Regulus squeaked out.

“A mudblood no less.” His mother pinched the bridge of her nose, “However your brother has proven that he will not produce an heir with the disgusting lifestyle he’s chosen. Your child is the only hope to carry on the Black name. She will have tea with us. Tomorrow. I’ll have Kreacher send an owl to her parents.” Walburga dismissed Regulus and he returned to Hogwarts with a pit in his stomach. 

You were on your way to charms when Regulus grabbed you by the forearm and pulled you into a closet. 

“What do you want?” You asked, grabbing your stomach. It was an unconscious action but you found yourself doing it more and more often. 

“I messed up,” Regulus said, wringing his hands.

“What do you mean?”

“I just…I didn’t know what to do about the baby-”

“Regulus, that’s the whole point. You don’t have to do anything. James and I are going to take care of it. Your family would probably have a coronary about the whole thing and you can barely stand me. It’ll be a little rough at the beginning but we’ll get through it.” You rested your hand on Regulus’ arm.

“So that’s the thing. My parents know.”

“What?” You felt your blood run cold.

“I’m so sorry. But they’ve invited your parents to the Black estate for tea tonight. They want us there too.”

“Regulus,” you were trying to keep your voice level but there was icy sweat rolling down your neck, “I haven’t even told my parents yet. What the hell did you do?” 

“Listen, I don’t really know what they want but maybe they’ll have a good idea about what to do. Let’s just hear them out.”

“Okay,” you nodded, “um, until we know more about this situation with your parents, we’re not telling James.”

“I think that’s for the best.” Regulus nodded. 

It was difficult to get rid of James that evening. You told him you were going home for the evening to tell your parents about the baby and he had insisted he come with you. You convinced him that it would be better coming from just you and that you would let him come back the next time. You were dressed in your dress robes as you and Regulus used the floo network to enter the Black estate. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress as you entered the drawing room and took in the bizarre sight of your parents and Regulus’ parents all sitting and sipping tea. 

“Hi Mum, hi Dad.” You said, nervously twiddling your fingers. Your parents immediately ran out to embrace you. As you pulled away from them both your father immediately started, 

“What the hell is wrong with you? Getting pregnant? We sent you to Hogwarts to study! Not to mess around with boys,” he gestured wildly at Regulus. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Your mother asked, looking at you with a pained expression. 

“Obviously that is all moot,” Walburga said, gesturing for you all to sit, “the Black family is one of the oldest and most noble in Great Britain and we will not allow for shame to cloud our reputation. It’s already difficult enough with Sirius. Regulus Black is the Black heir. His child will be the next.”

“I’m sorry,” your father interrupted Walburga, “weren’t you dating James Potter? What happened to him? Kind family, bright future, could keep it in his pants?”

It was interesting the way that your parents contrasted Regulus’. The Blacks were stoic and serious and void of emotion. Your parents were the opposite, louder, more intense, absolutely brimming with emotion.

“Regardless, we have a proposition.” Orion said, looking at your parents warily. 

“At that is?” You asked. 

“You and Regulus will marry. The ceremony will be next month over the Christmas holiday. Then you will tell the world of your pregnancy two weeks after the wedding and we will announce that baby was born prematurely.” Walburga explained.

“What?” You spat.

“How could you allow such a marriage? She’s not a pureblood! Wouldn’t that hurt the bloodline?” Regulus asked, grasping at anything.

“All documents that would indicate such blood status have been removed. 

“We aren’t even graduated from Hogwarts yet! How can we marry?” Regulus asked, his fingers pulling at his hair. 

“Surely you think this is a ridiculous idea.” You said, looking at your parents. 

“I think given the current situation it would be beneficial for our family to have ties to a family as noble as the Black family.” Your mother said, looking at her lap. 

“Oh I’m going to be sick.” You said, your hand over your mouth as you ran from the room. You luckily found a bathroom and were able to stumble in and lean over the toilet just seconds before losing your lunch. You stayed slumped over, vomiting and sobbing, cursing your damn pregnancy. 

“Are you alright?” Regulus could be heard just outside the door to the bathroom. 

“Peachy,” you replied, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and forcing yourself up. You flushed the toilet and washed your hands and face before opening the door. Regulus’ eyes were rimmed red as if he had been crying too.

“I don’t know what to say.” He said, staring at his feet. 

“It’s all your fucking fault.” You spat, “Why did you have to tell them?”

“I didn’t!” Regulus blurted out.

“Excuse me?” You had an eyebrow raised. 

“My mother…she’s trained in occumenacy. She knew something was on my mind and she found it,” Regulus’ face was red and he was looking everywhere but at you.

“Oh Regulus,” you shook your head and sighed, “how the hell are we going to tell James?” 

“I have no idea.” Regulus’ face went an unnatural shade of white, which was disturbing considering Regulus’ resting tone was already an unnatural shade of white. You both returned to the parlor. There were four sets of eyes watching you and Regulus.  

“You understand no one can know about your child until after the wedding,” your father said. 

“Yes.” You nodded. 

“You will announce tomorrow that you and Regulus are engaged. We will meet again to discuss plans for the ceremony.” Walburga said. She narrowed her eyes at you and said something to you that you could somehow only hear in your own mind: You will produce the finest heir this family has ever seen.

You looked up at Walburga and nodded, icy fear washing through your body. Before she let you go, Walburga made you and Regulus pose for a photo. It was painfully awkward and you couldn’t help thinking about how uncomfortable it would be to spend the rest of your life with Regulus. You supposed, however, it would only be the rest of Walburga’s life. And then you would be able to go back to what you wanted. 

You were able to make it back to the girls dorm without running into James. You had no idea how you were going to tell him about this. You loved James more than anything in the world but you weren’t given much of a choice. 

You sat down at breakfast in the morning and James immediately was at your side.

“How was it? How did you parents take it?” He whispered. Sirius and Remus looked up at you, trying to make out what James was whispering. 

“Not here. Not now.” You whispered back before taking a piece of toast and spreading butter on it. 

“Reg had to go back to my parents house last night. Something weird is going on with him,” Sirius shook his head. You tried not to look panicked. 

“What do you think happened?” You kept your voice as even as possible.

“No idea. But I think it has something to do with someone I know. My mother said something about my friend.” Sirius shook his head. 

“Is he back yet?” Remus asked as the owls flew over dropping everyone’s mail. 

“Yeah, yeah. He’s at his table. Do you think he got a howler?” Sirius was sitting straight up and trying to see over at Regulus. You turned as well to look and then you heard, 

“Oh my god.” It was James. He was holding open a copy of the daily prophet. On the page was the picture of you and Regulus from last night with the announcement of your engagement. 

“What? WHAT!” Sirius ripped the paper out of James’ hand and flicked his eyes back and forth between you and the engagement announcement. The entire great hall broke out in chatter as everyone stared at you and then at Regulus. 

“You’re engaged to Regulus? Aren’t you dating James?” Remus asked.

“Yes, I’d quite like to know about this.” James asked. His knuckles were white as he gripped the edge of the table.

“Not here.” You said again, running from the great hall. The marauders followed you back to the Gryffindor boys dorm. You were pacing and wringing your hands as the boys stared back at you. You were about to start when you heard a light knock on the door. 

“Who the fuck is that?” Sirius demanded, whipping open the door. It was Regulus. “Oh perfect!” He grabbed Regulus by the forearm and pulled him into the dorm before locking the door and casting a silencing spell. “Talk. Now.”

“So you remember the night of the Queen concert?” You said, wringing your hands again. 

“I knew we shouldn’t’ve gone to that concert.” Remus shook his head. 

“Well…we all had a bit too much to drink and-”

“You foul little slut! You cheated on James with Regulus?” Sirius snapped. You shot back like you had been slapped. You knew Sirius was upset but he had been one of your closest friends since your first year at Hogwarts. How could he speak to you like that?

“No, not exactly.” James said from his place on his bed. 

“What does that mean?” Sirius’ head snapped towards James. 

“James, please don’t.” Regulus begged quietly. 

“We had a threesome with Regulus. Regulus has been in love with me for a long time. But he messed up and got her pregnant. We told Regulus that we would raise the baby like it was mine. I’m not sure what happened exactly.” James glared at Regulus. 

“What the fuck? You had sex with my two best friends?” Sirius turned to Regulus. 

“You just called one of your so-called ‘best friends’ a slut.” Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“Oh I’m going to kill you.” Sirius lunged at Regulus and Remus and James had to separate the two men. 

“Can someone please explain the engagement business?” James demanded. He was holding Sirius back and glowering at Regulus. 

“My mother found out and this is what our parents demanded. They thought this is the best way to avoid scandal. They want the child to be the next Black heir.” Regulus said, staring at his hands. 

“You told her? You disgusting little slug.” James spat. 

“No. He didn’t tell her. Our mother poked through his mind.” Sirius’ rage seemed to have dissipated as he looked at his younger brother in pity. 

“So what then? You’re my girlfriend!” James grabbed your hands. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I know,” you said, tears running down your cheeks, “but I don’t have a choice.”

“When is the wedding?” Remus asked. 

“During the Christmas holiday.” You said, resting your hands on your stomach. James sniffed harshly and stormed out of the room. You moved to follow but Remus rested his hand on your shoulder. 

“Let him go. He needs time to process this all.”

“Well, welcome to the Black family.” Sirius said with a sad smile. 

The semester ended and you were off to the Black estate with Regulus, your fiancé. Your nausea came and went and the wedding gown Walburga had given you felt very tight. Kreacher had already let it out twice and you were afraid to ask for it to be let out again. Sirius was to be in attendance as Regulus’ best man. James and Remus had also been invited but you weren’t sure if James would be in attendance. You couldn’t blame him. You wouldn’t’ve wanted to watch James marry someone else either. Lily, Marlene, and Mary were not allowed to attend so your bridesmaids were women you really didn’t know. They were all Black sisters, Narcissa and Bellatrix. They were both a little frightening and you tried not to speak to them more than you had to. 

At your engagement party, you felt yourself getting overwhelmed and you sat on the balcony with your feet dangling over the edge so you could breathe in the cool air outside. James sat down next to you and handed you a glass of water. 

“How are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m alright. Surprised to see you.” You said, accepting the water and drinking it gratefully. 

“So,” James sighed heavily, “you’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I am.” You looked out at the gardens that stretched out behind Grimmauld place. 

“I don’t think I ever apologized to you.” James said. 

“Apologized for what?” You asked. You couldn’t believe how kind and sweet James was. It was the reason you had fallen for him in the first place. 

“I never should have had that threesome with Reg. I put you in this position and I ruined all three of our lives forever.” James hung his head. 

“Hey,” you put your hand on James’, “If I didn’t want it, I wouldn’t’ve done it. It’s a shit situation but things could be worse. And it’s not like we won’t see each other all the time,” your eyes were brimming with tears, “you’re my best friend, James. I love you.”

“I love you too,” James’ eyes were full of tears as well, “I, just, I don’t think I can be there tomorrow. I want to. But I don’t know if I can.”

“I know,” you whispered, “it’s okay.”

“Is everything alright out here?” It was Orion, he was staring at both of you. 

“Fine,” you said, sniffing hard and wiping your eyes. You took Orion’s outstretched hand and stood up. “I guess I should go enjoy my party.” 

You woke up the next day with a pit in your stomach. You took another pregnancy test, just in case you weren’t pregnant and you could tell everyone to call the wedding off. The test was positive, as you expected, and you were helped into the dress by Narcissa, Bellatrix, and your mother.

“Have you thought about children yet?” Bellatrix asked. 

“Don’t be silly, Bella. Her and Reg haven’t even graduated yet. Surely they’ll wait a few years before having kids.”

“Well, who knows. Regulus feels strongly about producing an heir.” You tried to say casually. Your mother shot you a look.

“I’m going to check on your father. I’ll see you in a bit, darling.” Your mother pressed a kiss to your forehead before leaving you alone with the Black sisters. 

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Narcissa asked, staring down at your stomach. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, no. It makes sense. The rapid wedding to a Gryffindor? But you and Regulus look excellent together. And you’ll produce a beautiful heir.” Bellatrix was tracing her finger over your hairline and you had to resist the urge to shiver. 

“It’s time,” Narcissa said, the organ playing the beginning notes of your wedding march. Narcissa left first, her arm tucked into Sirius’ elbow. Then it was Bellatrix, who looked a bit odd as she walked Barty Crouch Jr. Then it was you. Your stomach was flip flopping as you walked with your father and mother until you saw James and Remus sitting the back row. A smile spread across your face and you held your head high and regal as you made your way to the alter. 

Regulus looked nice in his dress robes with that brought out the deep colors in his eyes. You took his hand as Orion, who was conducting the ceremony, spoke loud and clear. 

“Please be seated.” He ran through the standard vows and then what it meant to join the Black dynasty. He talked about blood purity that made your mother shift angrily in her chair and then he stated, “If anyone objects this holy union, speak now or forever hold your peace.” He waited for a few beats before looking between you and Regulus and smiling. 

“Now-”

“I have something I’d like to say.” A voice from the back of the room rang out. Everyone turned and you saw the defiant face of James Potter staring back at you.

Taglist:

@skyesayshi, @urdad6900

[peachhcs]

YES YES YES another side plot!! i love the angst and tension of the wonder years

one person has spoken so this is becoming a side plot!!! so excited bc i love writing about the wonder years & expanding it further. this got way longer than i expected and way angstier than i thought LOL enjoy!!!

au masterlist | previous part

the state championships were the weekend before thanksgiving break up in alpena, so the boys packed into their cars to make the trip in support of samy and the team. it was the girls’ third year in a row making it to the state finals, so almost everyone from the school was in attendance on the cool november night.

will and the boys found seats with ellen, jim, and luke. even quinn and jack managed to catch a flight to watch their little sister play in what will be her final high school game.

marcie rallied everyone the night before to make signs for the whole team. they probably spent a good 4 hours altogether, but it was worth it in the end and getting to see each girl smile with excitement that they had a sign. the boys also excitedly took turns holding one of them up so everyone go some recognition.

“god, i hope they win. if they do, they’ll set a new record for the school,” marcie smiled despite the harsh cold that made everyone bundle up in layers of long sleeves and jackets.

“with samy they will. she’s gotten them to win for the past three years,” drew said like it wasn’t a big deal. the others chuckled.

“she’ll do fine. she knows what she’s doing,” will hummed, eyes finding samy’s number 6 down on the field. she was doing warm-ups with her teammates.

it was her lucky number ever since they were little. something about sixes was always catching her attention and the thought made the blonde smile. although, his happiness didn’t last long when a familiar voice snapped him from his thoughts:

“oh, hey. funny seeing you guys here,” it was kevin.

he’d been passing through the stands with some of his friends when he saw the boys a few rows down.

“what’s up, kevin?” marcie wondered, clearly not interested in his presence.

“not much. good to see you, mar. didn’t know you guys were coming,” kevin looked over at will and the guys where they exchanged wary glances.

“wouldn’t wanna miss supporting samy,” will decided he needed to stop letting kevin push him around, so he stood up for himself.

“agreed. she’s got some big stakes on her shoulders tonight,” kevin said and for some reason, that didn’t sit right in will’s stomach. shouldn’t boyfriends be more supporting of their girlfriends instead of just adding pressure to them?

“she’s gonna do great. we’ll be cheering either way,” ryan cut in.

“right. of course. well, good seeing you guys,” they all exchanged a tense wave, the jealousy being so obvious.

“could you look any less angry?” gabe nudged will’s shoulder who’s eyes were still on kevin’s retreating figure.

“he’s such a fucking idiot. ‘didn’t know you guys were coming’ why the fuck wouldn’t we?” the blonde voiced his frustrations to which no one had an answer to other than letting it go because picking a fight was not worth it right now.

will brushed the boy’s behavior off and focused on samy instead. the commentators began announcing the starting line-up, so the girls lined themselves up the field side by side with the opposing team. they played against grand rapids last year at the state finals, so would this be another win or redemption? everyone in their section was definitely hoping for another win.

“number 6, center offense: samy hughes!” everyone jumped up in cheers as the young brunette stepped forward to wave at the crowd. will held the sign up and he saw samy giggling at their energy before stepping back into line.

once they finished announcing everyone else, samy and her other co-captains went to the officials to decide who was playing on what side and discuss other minor details.

will could see kevin and his friends diagonal and three rows down from where they were. the boy caught his gaze and the two stared at one another with what felt like hot rivalry in both of their eyes.

the blonde quickly looked away. this wasn’t about him or kevin. this was about samy and her game tonight.

once the sides were decided for the first half, the girls got into position. samy was in the middle right in front of the ball. her and the center offense from grand rapids exchanged a few words, shook hands, and got into position.

the whistle blew marking the beginning of the first half.

it was a tense game right from the start. the grand rapids girls were always close and on the backs of ann arbor, a lot of pushing and shoving already underway. samy had good ball control, but she just couldn’t shake the other team to make a pass or get open.

“come on, sam! get around them!” jack began his rowdiness and will’s probably never seen the hughes brothers so focused on something besides hockey.

the teams continued battling it out, calling nonsense to one another that was hard to understand from the stands. samy would wave her hand to indicate she was open but then a girl from the other team got in front of her and blocked her pass. she was quick on her feet, nearly sending the brunette to the ground when she failed to get the ball back.

everyone’s eyes followed their movements across the field. the ball moved fast between feet, but then lauren eventually got ahold of it and went up the turf towards the goal.

“let’s go lauren! go! go!” marcie screamed so loud it hurt will’s ears.

lauren shoved her way past grand rapids, passing her to samy so she could get open again. samy took the ball to the corner before passing back to her teammate when she saw lauren back open. the girl took her shot and the entire stand erupted in cheers when it flew into the net.

“hell yeah! let’s go! wooo!!!” marcie jumped up in down in excitement.

now the girls just needed to keep that lead for the rest of the game and they’d be state champions for the 3rd year in a row.

—

by the time the first half ended, it was 4-3 and ann arbor had the lead, but it wasn’t easy getting those points. grand rapids were definitely out for redemption after last year’s loss. the teams went inside for halftime discussion and everyone began heading to the bathroom or getting food.

will and gabe offered to get things for everyone and surprise, surprise, kevin and his friends landed in line right behind them. the hockey players tried their best ignoring him knowing he technically was still the guy samy liked and was talking to.

“you know i never really understood why hockey goes to 3 periods. like why 3? why not 2? or go up to 4?” it was obvious kevin was trying to pull a reaction from them, mainly will.

him and gabe exchanged a glance. the darker haired boy gave a look saying to just ignore it and be chill, and that’s what will did.

or he tried to.

he kept his chill for probably a good 3 minutes. after 3 minutes, kevin’s friend was saying something about the girls on the team and then it turned to samy.

“she’s the hottest one on the team, no doubt about it,” one of them laughed and the others followed in agreement.

“dude, you’re so fucking lucky man. if you didn’t have dibs i’d totally hit that. have you seen her?” and that’s when will lost his cool. he spun around faster than gabe could stop him.

“what the fuck is your problem?” he snapped at the boys behind him. kevin and his friends exchanged a glance.

“excuse me?” kevin raised his eyebrow.

“if she’s your so called girlfriend, why the hell are you letting your friends talk about her in that way? fucking disgusting,” the blonde continued angrily.

“well am i wrong? don’t lie, you’ve totally thought that too,” will was pretty sure the other kid’s name was tyler and he wanted to smack that smirk right off his face.

“yeah, will, tell us. have you thought about it before?” kevin taunted and gabe pulled at his friend’s arm, trying to get him to just leave it before anything escalated.

“and if i did?” the blonde raised his eyebrow.

for a second, nothing happened and the boys were staring one another down. the next second everything happened so fast—kevin raised his arm, his hand balled into a fist that landed right into will’s cheek with a loud smack.

everyone around them gasped. gabe freaked, grabbing will before he fell over. kevin’s friends quickly pulled him back.

“what the fuck!” gabe yelled angrily at the brunette.

“so you admit! you’d have her in a second if you had the chance! i fucking knew it!” kevin yelled at will who pulled out of gabe’s grasp and launched himself at him.

will took his own punch at kevin and then they were both on the ground. everyone around them began yelling and screaming while gabe and kevin’s friends desperately tried pulling the boys apart.

ryan, aram, and drew appeared a moment later and used their combined strength to pull will away. ryan stepped between them, holding his friend back while kevin wiped the blood from his nose.

“alright, alright. everyone just calm down,” ryan said, trying to get the crowd to go away before someone came over and kicked everyone out.

“he fucking started it!” will exclaimed while the boys pulled him away. kevin’s friends pulled him away too and they dispersed before a teacher or something caught wind of what happened.

“dude, what the fuck?” ryan said as they sat will down at one of the benches to check him over.

“he punched me!” will exclaimed.

“that doesn’t mean you punch back, idiot,” gabe shook his head. luckily, the blonde wasn’t bleeding and nothing looked broken besides the bruise already forming on his cheek.

“what did you want me to do? stand there and listen to him and his friends talk about samy in that way? he’s just mad i’d be way better than him,” the blonde scoffed while the others just sighed.

“dude, if coach catches wind that you got into a fight with some kid, you’re not gonna be playing,” ryan shook his head too.

“i’m just standing up for samy which was something kevin was not doing when his friends started talking about her like that. some boyfriend he is.”

the boys exchanged a glance, unsure of what to do, but the they saw kevin coming back over. their glances hardened as they basically shielded will.

“if you’re here to start another fight, you better just turn around now,” ryan said.

“i’m not. i’m here to apologize or whatever,” kevin rolled his eyes.

“i don’t want your fucking apology, man,” will stood up, pushing ryan and gabe out of the way.

“look, me neither but i’m apologizing in hopes that you won’t tell samy what happened,” kevin crossed his arms.

“in hopes that i won’t tell her? you want me to shut my mouth about what your friend was saying about her and how you punched me because i was defending her?” will raised his eyebrow.

“look, dude, i got it all on video and i can send it to your coach and ruin everything for you if you don’t,” the blonde’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“you’re fucking threatening me now?” he looked back at the four boys who were also at a loss for words.

“one click,” kevin held his phone up.

will cursed to himself, running a hand through his hair.

“whatever. i’m sorry,” the blonde huffed.

“good. i’m sorry too,” the brunette held his hand out and pulled will into one of those bro hugs. “and if i hear anything about what actually happened and people talking, i won’t be afraid to post this everywhere,” kevin whispered before will pulled back.

the two exchanged a glance before fully letting go and kevin walking away.

“jesus christ,” gabe mumbled.

“i fucking hate him,” will scoffed before heading back to the stands and hoped no one would see the bruise and ask about it.

marcie did notice it though and so did luke. “dude, what happened to your face?” the girl shrieked.

“nothing,” will kept his eyes down and pulled his hood further over his head.

“nothing? that’s a big fucking bruise, man,” luke said.

“did someone punch you?” marcie kept asking questions.

“i don’t wanna talk about it,” will shook his head.

marcie and luke exchanged a glance, but they decided to let it go for now so they wouldn’t draw anymore attention to it. will’s gaze saw kevin glancing up at him and the blonde really wished he could punch him again. the first time felt really good.

—

ann arbor won the finals in an overwhelming 7-4. the whole section cheered their names as they were awarded their medals and the banner to hold up for a photo. samy’s smile couldn’t be bigger as her teammates lifted her up into the air with the trophy and chanted her name.

everyone lined the railing so samy could go down the line and high five everyone. will kept to the back when she got to them. he didn’t want her to see his bruise and make her worry. she didn’t need that after winning the state championship. the brunette was too caught up in everything that she didn’t even notice will hanging in the back more.

the teams waved one last goodbye before heading back inside to debrief, so the stands started heading out to the parking lot where the players would meet their families for more proper hugs.

will kept his head down the entire time, pretending her was interested in his phone as him and everyone else waited in the parking lot.

“alright, be honest with me. what happened?” marcie was back at it now that they weren’t around everyone anymore.

“i said it’s nothing,” will shook his head.

“bullshit, smith,” marcie looked at the other boys like they would tell her instead.

“it’s fine, i promise, mar,” the blonde said.

“will, you have a bruise the size of a tomato on your cheek. what happened?” the girl wasn’t gonna give it up this time.

“he threatened me, mar. i can’t talk about it,” will snapped a bit.

“who?!”

“who do you think?” ryan cut in.

marcie quickly realized who they were talking about. her entire face fell, “kevin punched you?”

“if i say what happened, he threatened me with the video of it and will send it everywhere, especially my coach. i can’t have that on the internet, especially with this being the last year and my commitment to boston,” will said quietly, making sure kevin or his friends weren’t nearby.

“holy shit, will. why is he threatening you if he punched you?”

“it’s more about what he said and who he doesn’t want to find out,” will hoped marcie would get it without him having to explicitly say it.

she did because her expression turned angrier.

they didn’t have anymore time to talk about it though because the doors opened and the girls poured out, cheers and shouts leaving their lips as the reunited with their parents.

samy came out close to the back, the trophy high in her hands. ellen and jim were hugging her first along with her brothers who were congratulating her. marcie just squeezed will’s arm, telling him they’d talk about this later before jumping over to congratulate her best friend on her third win.

will trailed behind everyone else. he enjoyed the way samy never stopped smiling and the excitement in her expression as she hugged everyone who came up to her.

“so glad you guys came. i loved the signs,” the girl chuckled as she finally got to hugging the boys.

“of course, obviously we’d never miss this,” ryan smiled.

when she got to will the boy ducked his head into her shoulder before she saw the bruise. she squeezed him tightly and he did the same back.

“congrats,” will cheered.

“thanks so much for coming. i think you’re my good luck charm,” the girl chuckled making the blonde flush.

when they pulled away, samy didn’t miss the new bruise on his face this time. she grabbed his face, eyes wide.

“what the hell happened?” she exclaimed which caught the attention of everyone else around them.

will grew nervous, eyes darting to gabe, ryan, aram, drew, or marcie for help.

“i accidentally smacked him when i was cheering. it got crazy in the stands,” marcie spoke up first.

“that hard?” samy didn’t quite believe it.

“my hands flew up when you guys scored and it collided with will’s cheeks. totally my bad. you know how i get,” the girl laughed.

samy glanced between the two before seemingly believing it. “jeez, mar. didn’t know your cheers got so aggressive,” the brunette chuckled and a wave of relief washed through will that she believed them.

no one else asked after that. not even when kevin came over to congratulate her and eyed will when samy wasn’t looking. no one even batted an eye when kevin had a similar, but smaller bruise on his face.

[simplysedusa]

Do you have any silly head-canons for the rrb. And I mean downright ridiculous.

I'm so sorry this took a while to answer. The original one that I was gonna talk about turned out to be a bit..angstier than I realized and I figured it'd be best to save it for a ficlet idea I came up with. 😉😈

So, here's some other silly headcanons:

I stated in another post talking about the Rowdyruffs that Brick's guilty pleasures are boy groups. This also applies to K-Pop groups. He's into K-Pop (but he listens to other genres of music as well) and only Boomer and Butch know because they hear his tone-deaf ass mispronouncing every other Korean word in the shower. Both Boomer and Butch decide to keep this info to themselves because 1.) they want to live and 2.) who'd believe them? Brick's got private, secondary stan accounts with VPNs locating him in the Bermuda Triangle, pretending to be some 15 year old girl named "Becca". He's mostly a boy group stan (NCT, Ateez, Stray Kids) but a few girl groups managed to catch his interest (Dreamcatcher, G-Idle, Twice). And no, he's not above arguing with twelve year olds about record sales or popularity.

I'd imagine Bubbles stops by the Ruff household and catches Brick humming a very familiar tune to himself, and she's the one who casually tells others whenever the situation calls for it. Much to Boomer and Butch's chagrin, no one bats an eye.

After the events of "Bubble Boy", Boomer suggested getting revenge by having them dress up as the Powerpuffs and causing chaos across town. Originally, Brick and Butch were against it, but then considered the "evil acts" they could get away with and were suddenly on board. Unfortunately, they couldn't find the right dresses (plus Boomer and Butch's hair would NOT cooperate) and they gave up.

Halloween is their favorite holiday. Scaring people and free candy were great, but the boys really loved wearing costumes that they stole from the Halloween Party stores downtown. Their favorite group costume was of the Ministry of Pain (and the looks of Townsville citizens' faces as they arrived at their doors made it all the better for them).

Boomer's a dog person, Butch is a cat person, and Brick's neutral. The three had discussed wanting a pet to play with while under Mojo and HIM's care. They both reluctantly agreed so long as the vote was unanimous. Boomer and Butch damn near fought to the death to try to convince the other or Brick to change their minds. Boomer decides to let the matter slide. He finds a Beebo and keeps it a secret until after they move in with Ms. Keane.

Since receiving their new hairstyles in "The Boys Are Back In Town", the boys are very particular about their hair. They started to wear color-coded silk bonnets to bed after getting the idea from Sedusa when they broke into her place by sheer coincidence one night and spotted her wearing one.

RANDOM BITS OF KNOWLEDGE IN REGARDS TO SCIENCE AND ROBOTICS. The boys may struggle with finding the atomic weight of a certain element, but they know chemical reactivity (what elements will react to one another without exploding) like the back of their hands. Blueprints for death rays are like memorizing phone numbers for them. They were kicked out of the robotics club on their first day (and almost expelled entirely) after demonstrating how to build an actual laser and for rebuilding functioning, miniature Mojo robots from scratch. Blossom nearly considers going back to homeschool when she learns that she shares all of her A.P science classes with all three of the Ruffs.

It takes everything in Butch to not make another Rowdyruff once he learns of Bunny and Bullet. Brick likes the idea but thinks it's too much work, while Boomer is completely repulsed at the idea of having another brother. (He might just help make a Rowdyruff pet however, but his Beebo and Valentino are enough of a handful. 😉)

That's all I got at the moment, but if I have more, I'll be sure to share lmao.

[lookupthewordjokeinthedictionary]

I took a break from petting my cat to deliver you this post, so I might as well deliver it as nicely as possible.

Sanders Sides are yet again drawing each other, this time, Virgil drawing everyone else!!

Yes, guys, gals and enby pals, we've reached "dark sides" territory!! It will be even angstier, you guessed correctly.

Firstly, Patton!! I'm reintroducing the bullet points!

Yes, Virgil did draw him playing with puppets

Yes, Virgil did draw Patton manipulating his puppet

Yes, if you look closer, the look in Patton's face isn't that of a happy father but that of an OG manipulator.

(I need to prefix this by saying that I love Patton and his complexity and by no means am I attacking him)

But yes, Virgil has had enough, our poor little anxious baby needs his freedom (and his thunder) back!

Rare Logan moment caught on camera!

Virgil drew him in his onesie because Logan is only comfortable enough to wear it around him and around no one else

He is indeed reading a puzzle book that Virgil (and Roman) came up with

You might wonder, why does Logan have a look of disdain in his eyes while reading this book?

Oh, he doesn't. For once, I'm bad at sketching

For twice, anxiety is anxiety. He was actually quite pleased to receive such gift, but with Logan having unreadable facial expressions and Virgil being Virgil, he took his expression as that of disdain.

I love them, your honour.

Ah, hello there princey.

Don't ever make me draw side profiles, this took 30 mins and it's not even good.

Okay, real talk, Virgil did draw Roman in the middle of the latter saving someone (him)

And Virgil did draw Roman with flowers and his updated princely costume and all that.

However, it's fascinating to point out that our Prince is covered in vines. (no, not because Thomas used to be a viner, no)

But because something, someone, is holding Roman back.

And Virgil chose to portray it with green vines.

Hmmmmmm, nothing to see here folks.

Remus in the house!!

Virgil is absolutely terrified by Remus.

So ofc he drew him with his mace!!

The schrodingers details are really popping off here.

And by that, I mean that it is both a pretty detailed sketch, and a very rushed through one.

Firstly, it's the first full body sketch we see from Virgil since Patton

Which emphasises the fact that he really knows Remus (the past doesn't go away that easily)

Secondly, it's the little ruffles on his sleeves, and high boots, and dirty knees that pull all of this together.

But I can't ignore that it's still rushed through. That Virgil hasn't grown to the point that he can accept Remus, or see him as something more than a scary illness.

Janus and his oddly numbered strings.

Another detail that I'd like to bring to your attention right about now is, how both the dark sides are looking straight (gay) to the viewer (Virgil).

In antithesis to the "light" sides, that are looking at something or someone else.

But Janus' sketch is pretty self explanatory.

Virgil views him as a one of the worst sides who could dictate Thomas' life.

And not only is he part of the conversation now, but Virgil knows from personal experience, that he's keeping all the others at bay.

Lastly, our Virgil!

I will pretend like I'll improve in drawing in the future if you pretend those are wings.

When I told you not to ever let me draw a side profile again i meant it.

Regardless, Virgil is doing his damn best to hold it together as of this moment

So, he's doing what the next side would do in his position: comfort himself with his safe space.

He's sitting down (on something that is somewhat a chair, good for him)

He is listening to music

He is grounding himself (by having his hands on the stool

But even so, his wings remain closed. Virgil can pretend all he wants that those momentary solutions will fix the problem, but it won't go away. He must learn to accept all of Thomas' sides.

[fe-fictions]

I may have sent this one in pre new year, but could you maybe write some Frederick angst with hypothermia (in honor of the freezing weather; the angstier the better). No pressure, of course, and happy new year!!! 🥳

(It's starting to warm up, so here's one last freezing story before we welcome a stupid hot spring U V U / )

The village in the high north of Ferox was besieged by Risen. It wasn’t a terribly difficult job to dispatch them, on their own.

It was the weather, the sheer number of civilians, and the swiftly sinking sun that was creating a whole host of dangers and threatened your plans.

Frederick tried his damndest to keep things in line, barking out echoes of your orders to those who couldn’t hear your voice over the howling winds.

The civilians who could pay attention to him and focus outside of screaming in fear at the sight of the undead, were able to get somewhat organized into a barreling crowd, rushing towards the back of the village. Getting them as far from the fight as possible was key.

“Sumia!! Get me a number on what’s left-- we’re losing daylight and I need a body count!” Your orders cracked across the field like a whip, demanding the attention of those wh ocould hear you. Frederick was fighting up ahead, ready for the battle to shift towards its end.

It was never that Risen were particularly powerful or challenging; it was always the numbers.

Whoever summoned them, they did everything in their power to tire out the Shepherds so they might pick off a few from their ranks.

It was particularly distressing between the civilians, the snow, and the never-ending hoarde of monsters.

“I’ve got two dozen left to the southeast, and another 14 to the direct south!”

Well, almost never-ending.

“That’s not bad…we can rout them quickly if we keep pushing them away from the village!!” You realized, “Frederick, I need you in the backline, protecting the gates with Stahl and Sully. I’ll take the mages, and we’ll clear the Risen in the field. If any stragglers get near-”

“They will be dispatched.” Frederick confirmed, giving you a curt nod before pulling Hebert around and galloping back into the town.

With the push to clear the remaining enemies, but made it easier to work around the rest. He charged back to the gates, rallying the civilians that were struggling to escape the hoard and shepherding them to the chief’s home, the furthest back in the village territory.

It was the safest place they could be, while the army handled the rest of the battle.

------------------------

It wouldn’t be until two more hours before the battle finally ended. The cavaliers had successfully kept the bastards from the villagers, and had hurried as many civilians as possible into the safety of the chief’s home. It was quite cramped, but it was indeed protective of the innocent people.

“Lieutenant!!” Chrom’s voice cut across the billowing wind, frost and ice piercing any exposed skin with no mercy. The snow seemed to be getting worse, making it harder for Frederick to spot the prince…especially with the white cape and blue clothes that seemed to blend into the landscape.

“Milord! Is it done?”

“They’ve been cleared- I think we’re all right. The only problem is the villagers- we found multiple out in the field trying to escape from Risen. I don’t know how many more there are. Robin and the others went into the forest to try and recover people spotted running away, but they’ll need help.”

“They went deeper into the forest?” Frederick repeated when the Exalt crunched his way over, the snow halfway to their knees. A knot of worry lowered his brow, feeling a stirring in his chest. 

He had been militant in educating you on the dangers of winter weather; especially given your Plegian constitution; the desert environment couldn’t have been more different from Ferox. You weren’t exactly built for the snow, but with education and plenty of precautions taken, you would be fine.

He wasn’t sure how well that would hold up if you were navigating the frozen tundra alone.

“How long ago did they start the search?” He demanded, looking back into the crowd milling about inside the bursting house.

“It was little over a half hour, I believe.” He thought hard, eyes narrowed against the snow. “We need to organize a search party to make sure everyone comes back safe. Are the horses handling the cold well enough to work through it a bit longer?”

“Hebert is still strong enough to carry on; I’ll inform the pegasus riders and the rest of the cavalier squadron what we need to do.”

The Shepherds quickly rallied around the Exalt when he informed them of the situation. The chieftain managed to pull together focus among his citizens, asking if anyone was missing.

A few families were missing siblings or cousins, some friends and some more prone to panic than others.

But it was fewer than a dozen. How far could they have wandered that Robin and the others weren’t back yet?

“Frederick, take my flare spell; it’s the last one I’ve got, but I assume you’ll want to wait to return until everyone’s accounted for.”

“I will make certain we have saved everyone.” Frederick promised, taking the small tome into hand and tucking it into his cloak. 

The search party left the warmth they craved to return to the bitter cold. Even in those few minutes of planning their search, the wind grew much faster and biting.

It did not settle the pit in his stomach any less.

“The wind is too strong for voices to be heard over it; save your strength and don’t send up any signals unless you or the civilians you find are in immediate danger! Am I understood?!”

“Sir, yes sir!!”

And with that, they burst into the unforgiving snow once more. The knight could only hope that you were safe and healthy, returning with as many villagers as you could manage.

The alternative would be unthinkable.

------------------------

If you were struggling with snow blindness before the storm got worse, it was completely impossible to see, now.

Between the wind whipping your hair about your face, and the ice crystals forming on your lashes, it was a miserable challenge just to put a coherent thought together.

A sliver of panic was setting in, but you were determined not to let it show. Not when you had a child in your arms, shivering violently against your chest. You held them tightly, having them underneath your coat and buttoned in to protect against the cold, but even with the woolen interior that Frederick had sewn in, you were finding it difficult to maintain either of your temperatures.

If the child had been a little older, perhaps you could’ve gone farther and gotten closer to the village before you lost sight of everything, altogether.

But there was little time to regret it. Your limbs were growing more numb by the second, and all you knew was to keep moving forward. 

One of the many navigational skills Frederick had taught you was to focus on the moss on the southern side of trees; it always grew on the southern side.

…Right?

That didn’t seem right.

The fog in your brain was getting thicker. Heavier, much like your limbs. With a shaking gasp, you tried to take in more air; each breath filled your lungs with ice.

“Aaah!!”

The child’s squeal vibrated against your chest, startling you; it seemed like you’d lost your balance. With a staggering few steps, you fought to stay upright, the wind beating into your body making it far more difficult than it should ever be.

“S-sorry…sorry…” You mumbled, tightening your grip on the little one. At least, you thought you did. You told your fingers to press into their small body, but…you weren’t sure if that mental command had traveled to your hands.

You couldn’t feel them anymore.

The pain of your struggle onward was getting harder to focus on. The numbness was worse. You kept apologizing. The word “sorry” left your mouth again…and again…

Where was the village? No…where were the trees? It was all so white…so blinding…

“Robin!!”

You felt the child jolt in your arms; someone had called your name. It must be loud, because the child started squirming, shouting back.

It was hard to hear even that much, though you could vaguely feel the vibrations of their voice against your chest.

“Gods, Robin!! What the hells happened?!”

You kept hearing a voice, but you didn’t recognize it. There was a flash of brown hair that came into view, and a big, blob that appeared to be walking on four sticks.

The young one squirmed from your arms, just as a pair of large hands came to your shoulders. You couldn’t feel them squeeze, but you felt the world suddenly stop.

They must have caught you. There was a frantic, muffled noise in front of you…was that their voice? Gods, you were so tired.

That was just about the last thing that crossed your mind, before the blinding white tilted into darkness.

-------------------------

Hebert was whinnying with great displeasure, having to go back into the punishing cold. Frederick understood the feeling well, but he was far more worried about locating his missing wife.

It hadn’t been long after he’d prepared the Shepherds for the search before he heard the panicked wails of a young mother; her little boy hadn’t come back.

He’d been separated in the panic, trying to get all the civilians away from the battle. He was too young to be out there alone; no way he could find his way back in all the madness.

That, and the storm was so bad now, that little one would surely be dead if he wasn’t found.

Frederick prayed to every god he could think of that you had found the boy, and the pair of you were quickly on your way back to the village.

“Onward, Hebert!! Faster!!” He snapped the reins, pushing as fast as he could go. It was a grueling process; the hopes of spotting the black coat in this sea of ice were becoming dashed with every passing moment.

After ten minutes, there was still no luck. Frederick’s heartbeat quickened, the dread creeping in with every slam of Hebert’s hooves into the ground.

It wasn’t fast enough.

Every second you were out there, the chances of survival were slipping away. They were going to run out of time to get you and return to the village.

If things got any worse, they’d have to go back empty hande.

He searched the ky for a flare, flistened for someone shouting they’d found you. But of coufres, no signs came to suggest you were found.

That would be far too easy.

Frederick dug his heels in, prssing further into the white and prayed for your safety.

He bore the brunt of the ice for twelve more minutes…when he finally had a breakthrough.

A single, dark blot against the horizon.

It was moving slowly, moving away from him…but it was no doubt a person. He He pressed forward despite Hebert’s whinnied protests, the wind picking up speed and blowing at the poor beasts’ side.

“A little farther Hebert. We’re almost- you!! You, there!!”

He shouted out at the sight of the distant figure. They did not seem to acknowledge his voice. 

“Robin?! Is that you??” He shouted louder. The distance was quickly closing, and the blot turned into what was without a doubt your coat. The patterns on the sleeves were purple; there was only one person it could possibly be.

“H-help!! Help, please!!” 

A small body was running towards him, forcing Hebert to a stop. Frederick quickly closed the distance with his dismount, finding a small child trudging towards him with a complete lack of balance and coordination. The poor thing must have had his limbs half frozen.

“You must be the child that went missing.” Frederick found it hard to speak over the weather’s howls, but the boy acknowledged him, welcoming the knight’s hands as he lifted him up, placing him on Hebert’s saddle. Quickly, he unclasped his cloak, draping it around the boy. He seemed lucid and sound, and looked warmer than he would’ve thought.

“I-I don’t need much help-- it’s her. She needs it.” The boy pointed back to the figure who he’d looked away from.

The figure that had turned slowly, clearly confused. 

The fear struck him like a lightning bolt.

“Gods, Robin!!” He sprinted to you, grasping your shoulders. You didn’t acknowledge him at all. "What the hells happened??"

Your eyes were glassy; skin pale, lips blue. Well past blue.

You were on You looked on the verge of death.

“It’s all right, I’ve got you.” He bit back the panic, fumbling the flare from his pocket and launching it into the sky. The magic made the bright red sigil impossible to miss.

It was the one saving grace they had.

“Don’t worry, I’m here. I’ve got the boy. You did brilliantly.” He said, tearing his scarf from his neck and wrapping it around your neck.

It bothered him more when you didn’t react to his actions.

“Robin?” 

You blinked, a slurred “Sorry” falling from your lips. Then your knees buckled. A strangled noise escaped him when you suddenly fell, the whole of your body weight coming against his hands. He nearly dropped you into the snow. 

“Dammit…!” He growled, finding the strength to lift you to his chest, carrying you back to his restless horse. The others would arive soon- surely they’d seen the flare by now, hovering bright and shining in the sky.

He had found you. He was bringing you to safety…but this was only the beginning of teh battle.

With a twist of his heart, he turned Hebert around and started the race back to teh village.

This was a battle you could still lose.

-------------------------

It was a merc that some Shepherds had met them halfway back to the village; Frederick had you wrapped up in the cloak with the boy, trying desperately to retain some of your body heat. When Sully and Maribelle caught up to him, they had her pulled from Hebert and placed into a village cart, its wheels carefully grafted to handle the snow far better than poor Hebert’s hooves could.

It mdae the return much easier; Maribelle was quick in administering first aide, focusing on yourr injuries and the frostbite nipping into your skin even as the ice turned her perfect curls into a frantic mop.

“She’s got hypothermia,” Maribelle deduced as they rushed through the front gates. “She’s losing her body emperature fast- she needs more than what I can do, and she needs emergency medics, now!!”

There was little more that needed to be said.

Frederick handed the boy off to his weeping parents, but had little tim eto accept their thanks; you were already being pulled frmo the cart and rushed to the cleric’s housewith the SHepherds’ best healers in tow.

He followed after them, Chrom and Ricken rushing with armfuls of blankets and enchanted stones to warm you quickly.

“Put her there, Frederick!” Lissa’s hand pointed to the pallet of blankets all but thrown together on the floor. The few beds were already filled with a mix of injured soldier and civilian alike.

You could only make do with what you had.

Frederick grit his teeth, following the command and lowering you carefully onto the blankets. His gloves were soaked through when he withdrew; your clothes were sopping wet.

“We need privacy-- Chrom, get those sheets up on the lines, here; fasten them so no one can look in.”

The prince did not dawdle, handing off the thicker blankets he and Ricken brought and started to fasten up the sheets around the clothes line hastily tacked up during the rush to protect the tactician’s privacy.

Frederick well understood what was happening, and had already begun to remove your clothes; the coat, sweater, scarf and tunic were difficult to peel away, but mercifully, your underclothes were not beyond rescue.

As soon as you were out from under your layers, he had you bundled tightly beneath the blankets, pressing the warming stones to your palms and your feet, and another to your chest. 

He fought to suppress the anguish in his heart when he saw the tips of your fingers and toes had grown discolored. Had hypothermia already set in?

Was it already too...

“Frederick, armor off, now!!”

“Yes, milady!”

The buckles were being undone just as Lissa darted to the floor beside you, strategically speaking healing spells over the more dire areas in need of repair.

Your breathing had yet to steady, and your pulse was still weak. Maribelle looked utterly frantic, working opposite the princess to try and stabilize your temperature.

Frederick’s armor was fully off, clattering off of him in lieu of his carefully setting it on its stand. There would be little time for procedure. Not when you needed him.

“Your clothes, are they-?”

“They are dry, milady. If it is not enough body heat quickly enough, I will take them off. Give me the order when you must.” His words were clipped, the knight wasting not a second longer before lifting the blankets and joining you beneath them.

Gingerly, cautiously, you were pulled into him, making sure not to hold you in a way that would inhibit the healers from getting to you.

He cradled your head to his neck, your nose like ice against his skin. You were still so cold…this was surely a nightmare, wasn’t it?

“Stay with her, just like that. Any loss of body heat could be deadly for her, at this point.” Maribelle instructed in a grave tone.

Frederick squeezed you closer. The thundering of his heart was deafening in his ears…surely, you could hear it.

-------------------------

The first thought you had when your thoughts finally came out of the darkness was that you were very, very warm.

That wouldn’t make any sense, considering the last place you were was in the middle of a raging blizzard.

Then your second thought was that you couldn’t really move. It felt like you were being held by someone. Was it the little boy? The child that-

Oh, gods, where was he?

“Ungh…” 

You couldn’t quite form words, yet. Your mind was filled with fog. And your head hurt. Well, really, a lot of you hurt. As your consciousness started to come through the grogginess, you felt a shift around you.

“Robin?”

Your vision was still blurred, despite rapid blinks attempting to clarify what you were looking at. Or rather, what you were looking for. All you could really see was the knitting of a thick, dark blue tunic…it smelled quite familiar. 

“Robin, can you hear me? Are you- Milady, I think she’s coming to.”

That sounded like Frederick’s voice. The hands that were on you retreated from your back, one gingerly cupping your cheek, tilting your face up.

Your vision went from the dark blue haziness into a much brighter, warmer shift of light. You found yourself looking up, into the blurry vision of your husband’s face.

You’d recognize that cowlick anywhere.

“Robin…you’re finally awake…can you hear me? A-are you…?” He sounded so fragile. What could’ve happened that would have him so worried? 

It did bother you, but there was a much more important matter at hand.

“Boy…t-the…the boy…”

“Thank the gods.” He breathed a heavy sigh of relief, holding you tighter. He pressed you to his chest, his other hand threading into your hair. He buried his face in your neck, and you could feel the grimace on his lips. “You’re all right…!”

“Fred…the child, he’s-”

“He’s all right. You saved him.” He spoke softly, his voice vibrating pleasantly along your skin. “I found you both, just in time. He’s with his parents, and you’re in the cleric’s home.”

The cleric’s home. 

“Lissa’s nearby. She’ll come to check on you in a moment. You were…it was touch and go for a while.”

Oh. That explained the tremor in his fingertips.

“What happened?”

“When I found you…you were unresponsive. The boy had actually run from you to come and get me. It was right when I’d gotten to you, that you collapsed. Your hands…you were frostbitten, and you’d been walking the wrong way, and…and you were delirious.”

You raised your hands to his chest, fingers curled into his tunic. They did not seem to be frostbitten any longer, at least. They were stiff and sore, but they weren’t discolored.

“I don’t remember much, I’m afraid.” Your voice was hoarse, despite the best attempts to clear your throat. Frederick stroked your hair, an attempt at comfort for the both of you. “But I’m…so glad you found me.”

“I would not have lost you to the winter.” He murmured, “I refused to. I know how much you hate the cold.”

“Ha.” You pressed your face into his chest, snuggling as close as you could. His hand tightened on your waist, and you were acutely aware that his calloused fingers were pressed to your skin. “Um…am I…?”

“Your clothes were utterly soaked through. We had to undress you, but rest assured, it is just the two of us. Lissa was kind enough to prepare some privacy for you while treating you.”

“I see.” You were too tired to be embarrassed. Given the circumstances, you weren’t surprised that was the course of action taken. “Well…thank you. For coming to my aid.”

“Good wife, I will not hesitate to do so. Just as you do the same for me.” He hummed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You curled your arms around his back, hugging him as tightly as you could.

You pushed your leg between his, all but wrapping yourself around your husband with the energy you could spare.

He had been so worried. You could feel the remnants of the stress in his form, how he had yet to fully relax despite cradling you so closely.

It was his favorite place to be, in the best of circumstances. Having you close in his embrace was a luxury that you had not been afforded since the Plegians first struck.

Perhaps being put in mortal danger wasn’t so bad, if this is what awaited you on the other side. Though you were careful not to speak of such a thing while your husband doted on you, remarking here and there about how utterly frightened he’d been at the thought you’d been lost in the snow.

Instead you simply lavished in his warmth, rising from your delightfully cozy nest to be examined by a tearful Lissa, and later to enjoy a bowl of hot stew lovingly prepared by your relieved comrades.

It would be a few days before you were back on your feet, but Frederick was with you every step of the way to make sure you recovered fully (and you were sure to give him as much physical comfort as possible in that time…there couldn’t have been enough hugs and kisses in the world until he was confident you were all right).

[kyurilin]

Fic Writer Interview

I have been tagged to do this by @plusultraetc and obviously I love talking about my fanfics so here will be more than you ever wanted to know!

How many works do you have on AO3?

At the moment 16! 11 MHA, 4 Cars, and 1 FNAF but y'know. We know which ones matter

What's your total AO3 word count?

218,641. That's a really big fucking number right there Jesus Christ. And with some of the chunky fics I have on there that number is only gonna get even stupider.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life

2. Crumbled Rooftops

3. How To (Hopefully Not Fail) At Telling Your Bestie You Love Him

4. Stray

5. Our Little Horror Story

Actually quite a surprise to me that my erasercloud fic takes 3rd, and 5th is my single FNAF fic. Not at all surprised by 1st and 2nd though lmaooo

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

ALL THE TIME!!! I love responding to comments even if it's just with emojis, but I also like to ramble in responses to stuff. I wouldn't be able to live without responding to them I love talking to people about my fics and I get some really good in depth ones anytime someone braves 54k erasermic one shot and crumbled rooftops especially.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly I feel it has to go to After, my post-Oboro death story featuring Nemuri and Shouta. The whole thing is sad and at the ending the closest thing to happiness the characters get is that at least they have each other, but Oboro's still gone.

Technically the super short This Isn't How The Story Goes where I killed Shouta in place of Oboro could take this too but we all know I'm not actually doing anything else with that (and trust me it would have gotten angstier but other people have done the concept better than I made an attempt at in 2021)

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life, for fucking sure! Look, it's pre-canon erasermic figuring their shit out and getting together for 54k and it ends on them getting married. We know in canon that things are absolutely going to shit down the road but in the context of that story which starts with Hizashi thinking of himself as Mic and being a little too used to faking smiles ENDING ON him being genuinely happy at his own wedding is a fucking phenomenally happy ending. I'm incredibly proud of that ending. It's such a great ending on that story.

Do you write crossovers?

I USED TO, not so much anymore but back in the day I used to write Cars and Transformers crossovers lmaoooo

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Someone got real pissy on one of my old Kirby fanfics at one point, whining about how it was illogical that the Kirby villains would help Kirby fight a bigger bad guy. Hope that reviewer in particular felt stupid when Kirby Star Allies released and all the DLC was previous Kirby helpers and villains coming to help fight the big bad.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written some but it is lurking on my Google drive because I'm not ready to have smut out there on the internet that people can look at. That's about what I can say on that front 😭

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

GOD I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! People out here just want the Kyuri experience in English it seems which is fine, but if someone did want to translate my fics I think I'd ascend

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly if it's a ship that involves Nemuri, Oboro, Hizashi, and Shouta in any combination, it's my favorite. Erasermic is the go to just because it's so damn easy to find but I'm also a sucker for Cloudnight, or Erasercloud, or Cloudmic and so on for the rest of them. Hell, Poly Rooftop Gang is something I really want to write at some point cause I have so many thoughts about their dynamic as a whole. There's really none within that group that I like less than others and if you name me a ship from it I have Thoughts And Feelings locked and loaded

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Technically going back to it, the extended This Isn't How The Story Goes idea where Shouta died instead of Oboro. I have PLANS. They exist!!! They're out there in my brain and pieces are on Google docs but it's been so long since I put anything together that it's just kind of dead in the water. The only reason I don't orphan that one on AO3 is that I like the way I wrote it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think characters. I've had a lot of compliments about the way I write characters in my fics and I really do feel like that's my strong point.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Whenever I have to get more than two characters to talk I feel like it comes across more stilted. I like having dialogue flow without having to use dialogue tags for stuff, but sometimes I have to use them for bigger conversations and I'm just dying on the inside thinking it sucks the whole time.

Also Big Info Dumps. I never know how this kind of thing comes across (example- the talk with Kurogiri from Crumbled Rooftops chapter 7 or the last segment of Stray chapter 2). I don't WANT to know how it comes across. I feel like sometimes I should reiterate that I'm autistic/ADHD and my mind is like 'you must infodump here'.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If I could speak another language i'd love to occasionally use that as a skill just for fun but the only time I've ever done this was using Google translate for an original novel based on an idea for a Kirby story I wrote and then the whole notebook got lost. So now the cringe lives in my head

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was either Star Wars or Monsters Inc, and I truly don't remember which it was because I posted two separate things the same day on ff.net and don't remember which went up first.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I never think ahead fandomwise, but again. I WANT to write Poly Rooftop Gang SO BAD. I want to write for that dynamic so my thoughts can be out of my brain! This is a topic that has come up between me and @shabby-blog OFTEN! One day I will write the four of them together and the world will be made whole again 😌

What's your favorite fic you've written?

this is always such a hard question because I have three very large stories that are all beloved in their own right but today's answer is Stray

We're coming up on four years since I started writing it and I'm SLOWLY working on the last chapter, and it's got a very small but very dedicated group of readers and I just love that story so much. I went a crazy direction with it in terms of how I wrote it and the fact that people love it means a lot. I'm bound and determined to finish it even if it takes me a lot longer to finish it than I was hoping 😅

WELP that's all the questions I am free now and all the people I would have tagged have been tagged so HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS

[wolfsbanesparks]

Bouncing in here like a madman again

Do you think Captain Marvel (seperate from Billy) considers the Wizard SHAZAM as their father as a sort of creator and creation relationship? Giving room for Billy and grandpa wizard relationship kinda?

I've had a lot of sugar today, so I'm not sure how that sounds, but I kept thinking about your fic, "Split", and how if things took a different turn and Captain Marvel revealed he existed because of the Wizard, would the JL come to the assumption that the wizard was his father/Billy's grandfather?

Or if things took an angstier turn, if Captain Marvel let slip accidentally that he didn't believe that the death of Billy's mother (and actual father) was a genuine accident/had suspicions about it, how would they react? Would they suspect the wizard bc of all the suspicions they're having? Also, I'm not sure if I remember, but did the JL get to have a conversation with the wizard?

Kinda factors into that one ask I sent before, where the gods killed the parents of the champions of magic to challenge and prepare them without them knowing, which might include the wizard, too. (Sorry, I re watched the Guardians of the Galaxy 2 recently and it's been doing numbers on my little mind)

In all seriousness you could write an AU for your fics and we'd eat it all up and ask for seconds because your writing creates a universe of wonder for us.

That was a lot, wow :0

Okay first of all you are so sweet! It's driving me crazy (in a good way) that I can discuss AUs of my fics!

I think that the Wizard already plays a sort of wise grandfather figure to Billy (in my preferred version of him) regardless of Captain Marvel's feelings towards the Wizard.

But I think it's totally logical for Captain Marvel to think of the Wizard as a creator figure, especially in his current incarnation since it was just Shazam who made him instead of a full Wizard's Council. There's respect between them, but Marvel also wants to make Shazam proud, wants to prove he's a good Champion. And I think that can translate to a father-son type dynamic even if it's a lot more complicated than that.

If we're talking Split in particular, the JL "met" the Wizard but Shazam didn't bother talking to any of them so their many confusions and suspicions didn't get brought up to him directly.

But if they had reason to believe Shazam was Marvel’s father, Flash in particular would have been having a freak out because the Wizard would have gone from possibly sketchy mentor to controlling and possibly abusive father/grandfather. He might have even had more people on his side if that was the case (especially if we add in the idea that the Batsons were killed as some kind of test of Billy’s pure heart).

There would still be those who insist that they shouldn't get in the middle of their complicated and potentially messy family situation. But there would also be those who wonder if Marvel had a choice in becoming a hero if his father was the one who imbued him with his powers because it was his "destiny". I can definitely picture Marvel bluescreening if someone asked him if he'd had a choice in being a hero (he didn't, and Billy didn't either) or if he'd ever wanted something else for himself (it had never occurred to him that he could be anything else because he was created to fight evil). His answer would definitely send up some red flags to whoever he's talking to.

There are so many cool ways having people think Shazam is Marvel’s father could play out and it would be so fun to explore that.

And since you mentioned it, while I don’t currently have plans to write an AU of my fics, I AM completely open to other people writing AUs of my fics if they are inspired enough to do it! So long as you credit me as the original author/check the Inspired By box when you post, I encourage you to go for it!

[theemporium]

Ok but lestappen birthday month is wild (this got way longer and angstier than I anticipated)

I believe that Charles is one to spoil Max rotten on his birthday, have a chat with you about letting Max have total no veto unless he’s hurting you control for the night and the mascara and the lip gloss absolutely make a reappearance and Max is in complete bliss

so Max knows he has a little over two weeks to top that and he’s planning all kinds of stuff with the idea of letting Charles be the dom for the night, from making a reservation at the most delicious restaurant in Monaco down to ordering a pair of red leather assless chaps for himself that he once saw Charles looking at for a moment too long

the one thing he forgets to factor into his plan is you, so focused as he is on making himself appealing to Charles, to the point that when you ask him if he’s already made birthday dinner reservations he says yes without even thinking about the fact that he’s got a table for two

so when you come home on Charles’s birthday after work with a big bouquet of flowers and a bottle of expensive champagne and those new Air Max 1s that were impossible to get AND the sweater from Loro Piana that was sold out everywhere, ready to bake a cake and then step into the lingerie you bought for today, and the apartment is deadly quiet, you know something’s up

meanwhile, the boys have had a lovely afternoon - Max convinced Charles to put both phones on airplane mode because he had already talked to his mom and brothers and had plans with his friends on a different day - and, though Charles thinks it odd that you’re not here for the walk on the beach and the romantic dinner, he figures that surely you two have a plan

and, yeah, it’s weird that you also don’t show up when Max takes him out dancing after dinner, but by that point he’s drunk already and everything is blue eyes and big hands and plush lips anyway

so when they get home, Max resumes his ministrations immediately, pushing Charles up against the door and telling him that from here on out he’s in charge and his green eyes go dark like the ocean as they wind through the apartment to the bedroom, right past the champagne and the presents and the cake with the melted down 26 numeral candles that are still sitting on the kitchen table, and he goes to push Max down onto the bed when he hears a little whimper on impact

his heart cracks when he sees you waking up from where you had curled up on the bed in the little red lace number that he could see your nipples right through and looking at him bleary-eyed to say “Charlie? I wanted to say happy birthday before it’s over, baby, did I miss it? Why weren’t you picking up the phone? Did you guys at least have some of the cake? I made your favorite”

Max is immediately scrambling to hold you, bracing himself for the impact of having fucked up catastrophically, turning his face back up to Charles to see the expression melding sadness and anger and guilt as you slip out of his arms and mumble something about sleeping in the guest room and how they were in Singapore for your birthday anyway and couldn’t get the times right so they didn’t even call on the day

and as he follows you out of the room, Charles mumbles “happy birthday to me, fuckin thanks, Maxie”

I—

oh my god??? ouch??? babe, why are being angsty today?????🤠

no but max would feel so fucking guilty and just😭😭😭😭😭😭NO THIS IS SO SAD!!! POOR READER!!!!

[noforkingclue]

Me again JC Lover! Since you said you had no problems I'll send some! I'm really curious what will come out of this. Number 4 from First Line Prompt with John Constantine. "Before you opened your eyes, you knew you weren't in your own bed."

Note: requests are currently closed

So this went a slightly angstier way then I was initially intending...

Oh well. Hope you still like it :)

Prompt list line- list

Title: Kiss or Kill

DC tag list: @mxacegrey

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

Before you opened your eyes, you knew you weren't in your own bed.

You wrinkled your nose as you pulled the covers up and around you. You could smell the cigarette smoke on them and you rolled over and let out a muffled groan. You heard the door open and close and someone sit on the mattress beside you. The familiar click of a lighter only confirmed your suspicions.

“Oi, time to get up.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Tough,” John poked you, “Get the fuck out of my bed.”

You opened an eye and glared at him. John matched your glared and you sat up, pulling the covers close to your chest, as you plucked the cigarette from him.

“So,” you said as you leant back against the pillows, “what the fuck am I doing in your bed?”

“You were pissed.”

“Ok,” you frowned, “I do remember drinking. Doesn’t explain why I’m in your bed.”

“No,” John shook his head, “You were really pissed. Drinking to forget.”

“Don’t-“

“It doesn’t work,” he said, “Losing yourself at the bottom of a bottle.”

“John,” you said warningly, “Drop it.”

“Believe me, I’ve tried. You need to-“

You stubbed the cigarette out on the headboard, not caring about ruining John property, and grabbed John’s collar. The two of you wrestled for a bit before you pinned him against the mattress.

“Don’t talk to me about grief,” you hissed, “I was asked to save that child. Look at where that got me. Covered in his blood.”

John propped himself up on his elbows, his expression icy.

“Don’t act like I haven’t been through the same thing.” he hissed

For a moment you were stunned. You had seen that expression on John before but never directed at you. You pushed at John’s chest and said,

“Let me guess, Chas was the one to put me to bed?”

“What makes you think that?”

“He was always the gentleman out of the two of you.”

Yu swung your leg under John’s, catching him by surprise. The two of you rolled over you were on top. You winced slightly as your stomach churned and a pang of pain coursed through you head. John looked worried for a second and said,

“You’re not going to puke are you?”

“Well if I did I can’t imagine a better place than all over you.”

“You might be into that but I’m not.”

“Fuck you Constantine.”

“Only in your dreams.”

“That would be more like a nightmare.”

You and Constantine continued to glare at each other. Slowly your grip loosened around him and you smirked down at him.

“Y’know,” you said, “I think you secretly care about me.”

“Booze must’ve screwed with your mind, love.”

“Nah,” you leant down, brushing your nose against his, “If you really hated me you never would’ve allowed Chas to put me in your bed. What’s the matter Jonny boy? Wanted to see what I looked like wrapped in your sheets.”

John propped himself up, brushing his lips briefly against yours.

“Gotta make up your mind,” he said, his gaze briefly dropping to your lips before once again locking with your eyes, ���do you want to kiss me or kill me?”

[hannibals-grahamcracker]

A collection of poems I found at the bookstore by Robert M. Drake that reminded me of Hannigram.

❗Disclaimer: some of these I have edited to add my own words to because I felt like it and wanted to make it angstier.

All of them are under the cut, because this post would be incredibly long and take up space on the dash if I didn't add the cut.

Enjoy!

1: This one made me think of Will writing a letter to Hannibal that he would never send (for obvious reasons once you read it) after Mizumono. Or maybe an AU in which Hannibal didn't turn himself in and simply left.

I know I should have.

But I have not changed my number since you left.

And I haven't just in case you find the courage within you to call—to text me one day out of the blue.

I know a lot has changed but I'd still like to hear from you.

I'd still like to be your friend.

I don't know where you are or how to reach you but maybe one day we'll laugh over the tragedy we caused each other.

Maybe one day we'll make sense of the aching pain we left behind.

Maybe one day, right?

Until then we're only a phone call away.

A text message from sharing what we really feel.

2: This one made me think of Hannibal sending letters to Will from the BSHCI.

You go home thinking about what hurts.

Thinking about what you could have done.

About why it happened the way it happened.

I never ends.

And you will overthink it, over and over again.

But it won't change anything.

The only thing that will change is your perception.

Everything else stays within you.

Every scar will always hold a special place in your heart.

A special moment. A special memory.

Regardless if it hurts or not.

3: This one could be from either of the boys to the other, either after Mizumono or while Hannibal is in the BSHCI.

I know you think you took everything about you away from me.

But the truth is, something remained.

And I can't recall what it is.

I can't even touch it or see it but I know it is there.

And it's hard for me to fathom because I asked myself how could I want your love back?

How could I feel as if I need it to survive?

How could I miss something that never existed?

Dream of a place I never visited?

Or fall in love with a person I never knew?

It's hard to believe.

For you, maybe it was just a fling, but to me it was God creating the universe.

A flash of light that barely killed me.

A kiss that has haunted me ever since.

One I have yet to recover from. One I have yet to forget.

4: Also could be from either one to the other while Hannibal is incarcerated. The last line I added myself.

Yes it is true, I can admit I fell in love with you faster than I should have, but I can also admit, that it took a lifetime to get over you...

Or at least, that is what it feels like. And I am still not over you.

5: Could be from either, but it's giving Hannibal with the "telling yourself we weren't meant to be" line.

Would you still love me after all these years of being apart? After all these years of telling yourself we weren't meant to be? And after all of these years we tried to convince our hearts to move on but failed to let go of the things we felt from the start?

6: A letter from Hannibal to Will that he knows will end up being confiscated (or will it?). The last two lines I added myself.

There's still time for you, and there always will be.

Just take what you have and make the best of it. Take what you have and make it work.

You're beautiful and you should work on what matters most. You should take what you feel and go with it. There's still so much time left for you.

You can still be who you want to become. Put the effort in and make everything you ever wanted yours.

I know this will never reach you, so I feel safe in saying that I love you. I think perhaps I always have.

7: This is the last one. A letter from Will to Hannibal that he isn't even sure will make it to him. Or maybe he never sends it. The only thing I added was the last line.

I know we spent a lot of time together. Years even. But I can't seem to remember any of it. I can't seem to remember what happened in between.

All I can remember is how my life was before you and how my life is after you. The beginning and the end. How we met and how we let go.

I know. It's been a long time. I know what it is I must do. Hell, everyone around me tells me. But it's easier said than done. Easier to envision than to do.

I know I must move on. And I know when I'm around others I put shade on your name. But the truth is, I'm hurting without you. I'm dying from the inside.

And I don't know how to stop it. I don't know what to do. Things fall apart, things break, and sometimes things never find their way back home.

And I'm still healing. Still learning to be on my own. I've tried, baby... I really have. But I'm too tough to show it. Too hard for soft hands. And I'm sure you feel the same way too.

We are strangers looking for something we've lost. Two humans looking for a piece of themselves. The flower we always dream about but never have the opportunity to hold.

I miss you, Hannibal.

[danpuff-ao3]

Top 5. Fanfic authors :) Or if you feel like it: Top 10

Ooh hello hello! Thanks for the ask! Also for the "more" allowance, as I'm notoriously bad at staying within the allowable number of anything 😂 More is more!! I'll make a solid effort to stay within 5 if I can, so let's see!

perverse_idyll (@perverse-idyll): Longtime fave. As in...when was The White Road first posted? '08, '09? Since then, essentially. I read TWR and was sold and I've been sold ever since. PI is such a thoughtful, sharp, crafty, passionate writer. More than that, we are very closely aligned in how we see the characters and dynamics and she writes in a way that feels so honest and true to who they are. All of her work is so gorgeous and real and forever strikes a chord in my soul. All the better now that I can call her friend and know that she's just as fabulous a human as she is a writer! :)

Writcraft (@writcraft): Another writing crush turned friend! They have written so many incredible stories across multiple pairings, though in the beginning I only read Snarry of course! They have such a great variety, not only with fandoms and ships, but genres, from darker and angstier works (Tangled Web, Dirge Without Music) to more wholesome and romantic stories (Friends of Dorothy, Luck of the Draw.) I love their focus on different types of relationships, and especially appreciate the dedication to queer themes that feels both celebratory and validating, for all of the joy and hurt of the queer experience. (How We Were Warriors for queer themes & history, A Life Worth Remembering for polyamory.) And the boldness in some works that feel more experimental and different (Breathless for a poetic second person POV, Birdsong for the creepy horror.)...If I remember correctly, Hector's Arms was my first Writ fic and I clicked on their profile and happily gorged myself on their other works. And found not only fics I didn't know I needed, and have reread time and again (Broken Promises, Shattered Dreams; A Lion's Heart; Loved You a Long Time), but also one of my favorite fics in general, The Beating of This Fragile Heart!

Arrisha (@arrisha-ao3): Brilliant, brilliant writer! Also a ruthless sadist I'm pretty sure. I am deeply in awe of the emotional devastation she leaves in her wake. The brutal angst of it all is truly, truly admirable, my hat is off to her for that. And while Ab Intra, Ab Extra and The Syntax of Things are brilliant...I am extra in love with her shorter works, Loose Ends and Molly's Advice. I like to think I'm an angst lover, but woo-boy does Arrisha make me wanna grab a white flag sometimes. She knows just where to pull on those heartstrings and strangle you with them. (I feel like this is coming across as both rude and terrifying, but I could not be gushing more, I swear.)

drawlight | ripeteeth (@foxconfessorandthewolf): Though their works aren't currently online right now, still a favorite. The Forest King!! I loved that fic. The Lighthouse Keeper...Strange Pilgrims...Suspiria...so many goodies. Their writing is truly phenomenal (even their original writings I had a peek at!) The stunning and vivid and gritty prose, that manages to be both poetic and sharp as a knife. GOD. Killer writing. 10/10. I have their works saved to my Kindle 🙏 And I'm always excited when I see their works on AO3 again! Have to mention them since they are truly one of the best and I have all the love for them AND their work!!

eldritcher: Their work is so strange, and in the most unique and lovely of ways. "Strange" can seem so rude but I know they know what I mean by it! They craft their works with such purpose and thoughtfulness and with such great love for words and imagery and mythology. All of their works are ripe with meaning, and strung together with such artistic precision! There is nothing out there like eldritcher's works, I swear, and I am in LOVE with what they do. I discovered their work through @consistentsquash's rec for The Tumtum Tree and had to devour what more I could find! Dithyramb, Pasiphaë, Ariel, and other great snarries! I am eagerly awaiting the final chapter of The Lamb of Tartary! Then other interesting tales and ships in The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife, Plenitude, Exaltation, Once of Eden. I am so amazed of their mind and their craft and am forever excited to see what else they're working on!!

I could probably carry on with more, but I think that makes for a nice solid Top 5 list...😅 Though if it bothers me too much I'll come back later to reblog with more 👀 Goodness knows I've read a lot and there are many creators I admire so so much!! 😌

[crows-murder]

20 questions for writers

thanks for the tag @they-reap-what-we-sow!! <33 💜💜

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

92! my goal for the end of the year is to get to 100!

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

545,947 which is an insane number ajskdsl

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i've written for a lot of fandoms, but my current active ones are MacGyver (2016), ROTTMNT, and the batfam

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

buried hope - tim spends another birthday alone and makes bad decisions, lots of angst and some jason being (reluctantly) protective, my favorite thing. krow made me a cover for this fic and i absolutely ADORE IT.

Familial Bonds - crack-ish fic where the fam finds out tim has been minus a spleen for months and didn't tell anyone. i have an angstier version of this fic lmfao.

Late Night Encounters - a classic! it is so very dear to me. jason meets tim late one night after patrol and doesn't realize he's looking at tim drake, the robin he's sort of trying to murk, and ends up really caring for this tiny little kid.

My House of Stone, Your Ivy Grows - jason rescues tim as a civilian and his attempt at getting revenge is thwarted by big brother protective instincts. a CLASSIC TROPE.

Fever Dream - tim has a nightmare the night jason as red hood shows up at titan tower and thinks he's straight up hallucinating jason lmao.

5. do you respond to comments?

i try my best but i am a very anxious person and i tend to bluescreen anytime i receive praise and all i think i could manage to say in reply is just keyboard smash. sometimes if i'm asked a question or if it's a close friend, i'll reply.

usually it takes me a long time to do so, but i'm trying to be better at replying to comments 💪

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh i've got a few hurt/no comfort fics but i think i'd have to say my one and only MCD fic. it's part of my urban fantasy series that is very dear to me <3 i DID cry writing it, yes.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i have a handful of fluff fics with no or minimal angst, but i think my favorite one is this extremely silly one i wrote for my urban fantasy AU, Summer Memories, with dick and jason

8. do you get hate on fics?

rarely, which i'm so thankful for. i don't even bother wasting my time with those, i just immediately delete them.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i don't lol.

10. do you write crossovers?

not really. i have exactly one (1) crossover fic and it's actually the very first fic i posted on ao3!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i'm aware, nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! there's a round robin fic i wrote with my friends in our batfam server!! it was genuinely so much fun i'd absolutely love to do another round robin fic.

i also have a 911 series with @dottie-wan-kenobi and @they-reap-what-we-sow that originated as a discord thread where we gave buck a daughter pre him joining the 118 (that i have yet to post something for. one day, i promise). it's one of my favorite AUs we came up with, and boy did we come up with a lot of those lmao.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

honestly? probably several, but i'm currently rewatching narnia with my sisters and susan pevensie and prince caspian had SUCH an impact on 7 year old me.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

oh boy. i don't talk about this fic for several reasons (one of them being that it was written when i was very new to the batfam fandom and the way i wrote most characters was influenced by fanon, which i've definitely grown past now) but Born to Run is a fic i'm... unfortunately not sure i'll ever finish. maybe one day i'll rewrite it because i still really like the concept, but i'm focused on other projects and it's not actually very high up on my list of WIPs.

(i think you can tell i was really new to the fandom with that fic, and to fic writing in general (prior to this fic i'd only written like, 3 others?) my writing has improved a LOT since then and i cringe just thinking about my old writing)

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh boy lmao. i suck at answering questions like that because i tend to fixate much more on my weaknesses lol.

but i think i'm good at describing settings and feelings. i've been told in comments before that i'm very good at immersing my readers in the story i'm telling, which is the compliment EVER actually.

i also like to think i write good, human dialogue because i act it out a LOT with myself and probably look insane to anyone looking at me asjdskdfld

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

unless i can have a native speaker to check the grammar of the sentence for me, i don't usually write dialogue in another language. i don't trust google translate. anyway i do prefer writing the dialogue in english and in the dialogue tags add "she said in [x language]"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh boy. fucking voltron back in 2018.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

oh. i'm very critical of my own writing but i DO have several favorite fics!! it's hard to pick just one but. shamelessly putting the steph-centric fic i posted back in february bc i love it very much <3

no pressure tags @witchofthemoss @goldenraeofsun @cuephrase @a-canceled-stamp @silverandsunflowers @fleur-de-violette and anyone else who wants to do this! <3

[jerzwriter]

Countdown to 2023 - Day 1

First, am I the only one that is in total denial that we are just days away from 2023? Excuse me, but I'm still trying to figure out how it's not 2010... and here we are in 2023. One thing is true, my friends, time is swift, and while days may seem long, years go by in the blink of an eye. Please keep that in mind, always.

Day 1 - 3 writers or stories that made this year bright

Well, I'm so grateful to Dani for providing this directive: The number is just for fun; you are welcome to include more or less than the daily "guide" number. Because 3 just will not cut it.

I'm often hesitant to do these things because I absolutely hate leaving anyone feeling left out, but then I also lose the opportunity to celebrate some who have really been special to me. So, in that spirit, please understand that there is no way today's post, or those that follow, could ever completely capture everyone who has been an important part of my fandom experience this year. If we have interacted in any way, big or small, I see you, and you matter.

So, without further ado... here are my definitely more than 3 mentions for 2023.

@a-crepusculo My sweet, sweet friend. Your poetic writing, which often leaves me with the greatest case of imposter syndrome, is made more special for me because I know the beautiful soul that lies behind it. It's a reflection of you and who you are, and that reflection is beautiful. How happy I am whenever I see a notification that you've posted, and I know it's not something you can focus on now, but just know it's missed - and I hope you'll grace us with your work again. You're amazing.

@alwaysmychoices

Writing that is always absolutely captivating. I still am enthralled with watching Ethan and Charlie's relationship grow, unfurl, and grow again. You've made me dissolve into tears more times than I can count, and for this angst-lover, that is SUCH a GOOD thing! I'm so glad you're still sharing with us!

@genevievemd

How fortunate are we all to still have the love that is Gen and Ethan to look forward to? I'm serious. The fandom has dwindled for sure, but we are so lucky to still have cornerstones that remain - and you, my friend - are among them. I know it's been a bumpy ass year, but I'm so glad you're still here!

@jamespotterthefirst

I mean - the fics are incredible - but they're almost secondary at this point. I don't think I'd still be here if not for you this year. Thank you. Sincerely. But that doesn't mean your fics get to be ignored. The Allende family forever has my heart, and I find it hard to determine what I love more: Your heartwarming fics about them that leave me a puddle on the floor or your Ethan/Lilac smuts that leave puddles in other ways. 😂 I'm sitting here trying to pick one or two fics to highlight, to say this is what I remember most this year, and I can't because there are too many to name. I am so, so grateful for you, for your talent, and for still being willing to share it with us. Adjust that crown, baby, if you must - but never take it off!

@julia-highstorms

This year I fell in love with a new Choices story for the first time in a very, very long time. I'm now an official Wake the Dead stan. But, how sad that factors have led to the fandom being almost non-existent for new Choices stories. So, you can only imagine my excitement when I discovered Julia's incredible stories about Kiera and Eli. My only regret, I've already read them all! But I anxiously look forward to more.

@liaromancewriter

While I am a lover of all things angst, I am always so grateful for a soft spot to land after my heart is ripped to shreds. When I need that respite, I always know where to go, and that's to Mal. Though I have to admit, this year, she got me with a few angstier pieces too. You Weren't Meant for Me, and Reflections and Renewals come to mind. Our fandom may be growing ever smaller, but I'm so happy you're still here creating! 💕

@lilyoffandoms

I have to thank you for the lovely surprise fic where you brought your Merida and Ethan, Dani's Bryce and Olivia, and my crazy little Tobias & Casey together. I was just giddy, and I love that these three couples now have a shared moment in fandom history. I just wanted you to know how special that was to me! 💕

@lucy-268

Girl, what would I do without my favorite fellow Tobias stan and her incredible creation of Tobias and Samantha? You know how much I simply adore these two, and I love getting the backstories behind them. The original Tobias queen, I will always bow to you! 💕

@missameliep

Continuing on my reasons to be grateful for Wake the Dead, it also led to me being introduced to Dani's work and Dani as a person. Both of those things were highlights of my fandom experience in 2023. I simply adore her writing, her strong, beautiful MC Malia, and the special relationship she has with Troy. Safe is an absolute masterpiece, and the only reason I have not finished reading it yet is that I truly don't want it to end! I love your work, I've loved our conversations, and I'm so glad we've gotten to know each other better.

@storyofmychoices

This year, I had the pleasure of being introduced to Bryce and Olivia, and my heart will always be grateful! The only bad thing is time has yet to allow me to go back and follow this absolutely lovely duo right from the start. But I will, I assure you I will. This heartwarming duo is delightful on their own or when they're engaging with the little firecracker that is Keiki. I simply adore them all!

@trappedinfanfiction

My lovely "Tif". 😊 When I think of fandom joy this year, you immediately come to mind. I'm always so excited to see a notification from you and since I can't get enough of Ethan and Celia, I'm now happy to be going back to the past to find more. You're such an important part of the fandom, and you made 2023 infinitely better.

@potionsprefect

Another lovely cornerstone of our community. We can always count on you to bring Ethan love to us and, more importantly, bring the beautiful, spunky Victoria along with him (you know I'd pick her over him. lol) I know we say we'll be doing this together until we're in the old-folks home (though I'll be there LONG before you lol) and I hope we keep to that! The fandom wouldn't be the same without you!

A special shout-out to the newcomers who have joined the fandom this year. Some are new to Tumblr, and some are just new to creating, but they helped breathe new life and creativity, and I know I'm not alone in being so grateful for their presence here. @cariantha @mydemonsdrivealimo @mysticalgalaxysstuff @ofmischiefandmedicine @openheartforeverinmyheart Thank you for being part of this craziness and bringing joy to my year - and I'm sure others.

I know they're not really here anymore, but that does not mean that they weren't appreciated this year, and if they check-in, I want them to know that they're thought of: @choiceskatie @lem-20 @bex-la-get

Honorable mentions to @alj4890 @ambraambrose @choicesfanaf @coffeeheartaddict2 @gutsfics @heauxplesslydevoted @headoverheelsforramsey @hopelessromantic1352 @inlocusmads @lsvdw-blog @parisa-kh @peonierose @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @takeharryandgo @takemyopenheart @the-pale-goddess @utterlyinevitable Each of you has helped keep our little crazy thing going despite the odds, and I hope you know you're appreciated!

I am confident I've forgotten people, and I'm even more confident I'll feel like shit about it, but trust me, as I said, if we've interacted in any way, you've made 2023 better!

@choicesfandomappreciation

[pocketramblr]

AU where Hatsume gets called out for humiliating Iida and making him out to be pathetic on live television during an event that would have a major effect on the rest of his life.

So... I don't love Hatsume, as a character. Don't even really like her, there's other support characters I like way more and the boob jokes or making uraraka jealous is really annoying. But I also don't love character bashing, which this ask smacks of, so let's consider a few other things.

"au where Todoroki gets called out for humiliating Sero and making him out to be useless on a live television even and majorly impacting how many internship offers he got afterwards, which would have a huge impact on his career if the world didn't end their second year, and the not even forfeiting afterwards to give Sero his own chance to show off (Todoroki would have gotten plenty of offers if he has just quit there, but he wasn't doing this for that, just anger and spite)."

"au where Midnight gets called out for saying that she's turned on by her sixteen year old student on live tv in front of said kid, god, and everyone because you can have a sexy persona without crossing that line."

"au where UA gets called out for the Bakugo chained up situation at the end of the SF"

Because... I don't think Hatsume was morally wrong there. Because she didn't have a chance to show off her work to her future investors, which was equally important to her career as showing off to potential agencies would be to a hero course student. And afterwards, Hatsume stopped. She left and let the hero kids have an option to show off like she did too, even if she probably would have made an even more impressive show if she had shown off her inventions on her own over the course of multiple fights. Instead, she threw everything out there at once as she as she logistically could, and then let Iida go to become a semi finalist who earned a spot on the podium.

I don't like her. I don't think she's really kind. But she's not malicious either, and there are plenty of other characters who I think need a comeuppance way more than her.

i dont think a 15 year old girl who is not being prioritized by her school needs a "call-out". i dont like bashing.

But, i do like exploring consequences, so here's a couple that i think would work, because even when not malicious, what we do affects people and how they set boundaries with us:

Tenya categorically refuses to use any of Hatsume's tech. It's extremely uncomfortable for him to even be in the same room as her, so he goes to any of the other 179 support tech students at UA for gear and upgrades instead, because... ngl its really weird of horikoshi to only have a single support tech student when he has no problems building out a massive cast in other areas. yay, an opportunity to develope more characters and show various support tech philosophies through them!

you could even get angstier- Iida was restrained a few ways by Hatsume's tech and couldn't move, a few hours before getting the Worse Phone Call Of His Life, which could link Hatsume/her tech/restraints to a trigger response of the traumatic Bloodcurdling Restraint where he couldn't move. This would not be Hatusme's fault, but Stains, but it still means Iida and likely his closer friends would stay away from her to avoid the trigger. (don't tell me this can't happen. this is very similar to how my ptsd manifested a couple years ago.)

Izuku doesn't refuse to use Hatsume's tech because he's a pragmatist, but he doesn't particularly befriend her closely after that either, so they end up working together less and less frequently as he ends up having other options, like Melissa's tech. Hatsume will have to make her own name in the industry without ties to Idaten or the future number one hero's agency. somehow, i think she'll do just fine.

[donteattheappleshook]

She Came From the Water, His, Lover of the Light, and you can probably guess my last one- Of Cars and Bars, please ma’am!

Drop one of my fic titles in an Ask and I'll tell you 'the scene' for it!

She Came From the Water

This one's hard because it was a movie AU watched the movie a million times and kept picturing them as CS in every scene. But if I had to pick one that kept me going until I got throught the worst of it, it would have to be the "Don't I get seven years?" scene where Killian finds Emma after she ran away.

His

This one hasn't happened yet, but there's this scene in the kitchen.... 😏

Lover of the Light

This fic, man.... each part/chapter was supposed to be the last and/or only one and then someone would get an idea in my brain (wish baby) that would lead to another addition so really each part has it's own scene!

Part 1

Emma realizing she accidentally played sexy stranger with Wish!Killian. "I thought it was a game" is the line that wouldn't leave me alone and kept making me giggle to myself.

Part 2

This one was angstier but probably the scene where Killian talks down terrified Emma and she has a bit of a realization that he might really be the Killian she knows - and also her throwing David and Regina into a wall...

Part 3

Killian climbing a trellis when he's very aware that he's too old to be doing that kind of thing 💀

Part 4

This one was the scene in the galley where Emma kisses Killian the first time and then they argue about whether or not it could work. I just really liked the idea of their first kiss not being some big dramatic moment and that their whole story would be soft and sweet - and I also liked stupid stuborn Killian trying to convince Emma to leave him because he can't do it.

Of Cars and Bars

So like Lover of the Light this was supposed to be a stand alone 2 shot but SOMEONE ended up convincing me to turn it into the beast it became. So this fic gets more than one scene too!

So for the stand-alone two-shot:

100% Killian slapping his phone number against the window of a moving car and nearly making Liam crash. 😂

The scene that made me cave and continue the story:

Killian brining drunk Emma back to her room while struggling to dodge all of her hands ("How does she have so many hands??") and playing her "something heartbreaking". This one was built on the emotional climax/catharsis if that's not obvious 😅

Thank you @kmomof4 for the ask! 😘