#now. my dad had a choice to make. ''PM‚'' he says

[itsnesss]

𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐧 | minho (xo,kitty) × fem!reader

summary | during a weekend getaway, unspoken tension between you and minho comes to a head despite his relationship. a stolen kiss leaves you conflicted, torn between your feelings and doing what’s right

warnings | fluff, infidelity, tension, kisses, emotional conflict

word count | 1.6 k

author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩

The invitation arrived unexpectedly at night. You were about to finish your tasks when your phone buzzed with a message in the group chat you shared with your friends.

Min Ho: "Hey, losers. This weekend, I’m inviting you to my dad’s cabin. Before you start making pathetic plans, confirm who’s coming. It’s going to be epic."

You stared at the message, surprised. Min Ho didn’t usually organize things like this… or at least, he didn’t invite everyone. Yuri was the first to reply.

Yuri: "Of course, we’re coming! Although I can’t believe you’re being generous. Is this a joke?"

Juliana: "I’m in! I wouldn’t miss it!"

Q: "Count me in."

Then, a message from Stella, his girlfriend, appeared.

Stella: "It’ll be fun. 💕"

For a moment, you hesitated. There was something about the idea of spending a weekend with Min Ho that made you feel… nervous. For months, there had been this strange tension between you two: glances that lasted longer than they should, little jokes only you understood, and an electricity you tried to ignore. But he had a girlfriend. And you weren’t that kind of person.

Still, you finally typed: "I’m in."

Min Ho: "Good choice. See you Friday at 5 PM. Don’t be late.

The weekend came quickly. Everyone gathered in the KISS parking lot, where Min Ho waited with his cars. Stella took the passenger seat, and you ended up in the back, squeezed between Yuri and Juliana. During the ride, Min Ho drove with a confidence that was as infuriating as it was attractive, throwing sarcastic comments that seemed aimed directly at you.

"Ready for the best weekend of your life?" he asked, briefly glancing back at you with a smug grin.

"I don’t know, Min Ho. You’ll have to try really hard to impress me," you replied, crossing your arms.

The "cabin" turned out to be a luxury villa in the middle of the forest, with huge windows, modern furniture, and a lake view straight out of a postcard. "Welcome to paradise," Min Ho said, spreading his arms wide.

The afternoon passed with board games, walks by the lake, and laughter. Stella was more interested in her phone than the group, leaving Min Ho free to talk to you more than he should have. His comments seemed harmless, but there was something in his tone and the way he looked at you that made your heart beat faster than usual.

When night fell, Yuri suggested using the outdoor jacuzzi. "It’s the perfect way to end the day!"

"I hope you all brought decent swimsuits," Min Ho said, throwing you a teasing look.

"I hope you talk less," you shot back, meeting his gaze.

The jacuzzi was surrounded by warm lights that gave the garden a tranquil atmosphere. Everyone got in, laughing, and for a while, you managed to relax. Min Ho, as always, dominated the conversation with exaggerated stories, but his eyes kept finding yours. That invisible connection you’d both been ignoring was there, growing stronger by the minute.

One by one, your friends began to leave the jacuzzi. Yuri and Juliana were the first, saying they were cold. Then Q, who yawned dramatically before saying goodnight. Finally, Stella said, "I’m going to bed, love. Don’t stay too long," planting a kiss on Min Ho’s cheek before disappearing into the villa.

Now, you were alone with him. You tried to focus on the starry sky, but the silence between you was too heavy. Finally, Min Ho broke the ice.

"Why do you always do that?"

You turned to him, confused. "Do what?"

"Pretend like nothing matters to you," he said, leaning against the edge of the jacuzzi as he stared at you.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Min Ho," you replied, crossing your arms.

"Yes, you do," he insisted, with that infuriating smile that made your heart race and drove you crazy at the same time.

"If you’re looking for a fight, find someone else," you retorted, turning your gaze back to the water.

But he didn’t back down. "I’m not looking for a fight. I just want to understand why you act like you don’t feel the same way I do."

Your heart skipped a beat. "Min Ho, you have a girlfriend."

"That doesn’t answer my question," he said, leaning a little closer to you.

You looked him straight in the eye, trying to stay calm. "Because it doesn’t make sense, Min Ho. We’re different. You’re… you. And I don’t want complications."

"Complications?" he repeated, as if he couldn’t believe it. "Is that what you think I am?"

"No," you admitted softly. "But all of this would be. I don’t want to be the reason someone gets hurt."

For a moment, Min Ho didn’t say anything. He just looked at you, a mix of frustration and something else in his eyes. Finally, he spoke. "Do you know what your problem is? You always try to do the right thing, even when it’s not what you want."

"And that’s a bad thing, according to you?" you replied, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but…" he began, then stopped. He sighed, as if he was about to confess something important. "I’ve been trying to ignore this for months. But every time I’m near you, it’s like nothing else exists."

His words left you breathless. You wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come. And then, before you could think about what you were doing, his lips were on yours.

The kiss was slow, intense, and full of everything you both had been holding back. His hands gently cupped your face, while the world around you seemed to disappear. But just as you were starting to lose yourself in the moment, reality hit you like a bucket of cold water.

You pulled away abruptly, your heart pounding. "This shouldn’t have happened," you said, moving away from him.

Min Ho looked at you, confused. "Why not?"

"Because you have a girlfriend, Min Ho. Stella trusts you. I can’t be that person."

"And what about what I feel? Or what you feel?" he asked, his voice softer this time.

"That doesn’t matter. It can’t matter," you whispered, your eyes filled with a sadness you couldn’t hide.

You quickly got up, wrapping the towel around your body. "I’m sorry, but this isn’t right."

Without waiting for a response, you walked back to the villa, leaving Min Ho alone. His words, and the warmth of his kiss, echoed in your mind as you walked away. This shouldn’t have happened. It couldn’t happen. And yet, a part of you wished things were different.

[an-autistic-with-personhood]

*writes a novel in the tags of a reblog and hits post*

For my mutuals ✨💕💫

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 17

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 5k

TW: Alcohol , mention of drugs

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, November 14; 1:25 PM - Home

I helped Sam and Sofia clear the plates. They were so surprised by my initiative that they didn’t dare say anything. I guess my punishments in the cafeteria paid off. I’ve handled hundreds of plates, so four won’t kill me. I sent Joan upstairs to get ready for three o’clock. It was a bit of a struggle because he didn’t want to let go of me, but I eventually managed. After all, we don’t need to rush. I wanted to enjoy my stay by spending some time alone in the garden. I put on my shoes and my military jacket before heading out. I walked to the back, away from prying eyes, and sat on the perfectly trimmed grass, even though it was wet from the humidity. I smiled as I let my fingers trail over the plaque in front of me.

“Hey, Dad. It’s been a while, huh?”

It had been a long time since I’d been here. The last time was a month and a half ago, the day before I left. Nothing has changed. They didn’t even remove the flowers I’d left. Proof that no one has been here since. I pulled my knees close and wrapped my arms around them. I stared at the photo on the plaque. I remembered it like it was yesterday, the fuss I made to my mom to set up a memorial place. He’s not really here. His grave is in Portugal. I needed an accessible place, and for once, she understood.

“Sorry I didn’t come sooner,” I murmured. “Let’s just say Mom outdid herself this time,” I chuckled nervously. “I regret that you’re not here to throw a wrench in her plans.”

It might seem strange to some, but I’ve gotten used to coming here to confide. My dad was always my confidant, and I didn’t want to lose that habit, even if he’s no longer here in flesh and blood. This place allows me to clear my mind when I need to. I think it’s the right time to do that today.

“I’m in Manchester now, at a private school, kind of like a military school. Can you believe it? Me, in there?” I giggled. “Hard to believe, right? Yet, I’m still alive after a month and a half. It’s not that bad, actually. It’s just the idea that’s scary.”

I paused to gather my thoughts. If he were still here, he would never have let Mom put me in a place like that. He would have supported me and defended me to the end, knowing I didn’t want to go.

“It was really tough at first. You would’ve had a good laugh. I thought I could get myself expelled, but I met someone stronger than me. I have a personal instructor, and believe me, she makes my life impossible. She reminds me a lot of you,” I murmured.

I let my head fall on my knees and closed my eyes. The cool breeze hit my face. I took a deep breath. I needed to tell him. I needed to talk to someone about what I really think, and I knew this was the perfect place to do it.

“She’s fair in her choices and punishments. I had a hard time adjusting, but I adapted. It’s been a long time since I had someone authoritative like her on my back. She takes care of me and does everything to show me that I can succeed. She gives me confidence, like you did when you were still here. You always had the right words to lift my spirits.”

I sighed deeply. I missed him way too much. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

“I’ve also made a lot of friends. New friends. They’re very nice to me. One even accepted me for who I am. Her name is Alexia. She knows I’m gay. She encouraged me to tell the others, and I did. They all took it very well. I feel at home and I trust them… But the one I trust the most is Lucy, my instructor. I really wish you could meet her, you would have loved her.”

I stopped talking and lifted my head when I heard someone call me. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I sighed, dreading the next few minutes. I got up, not forgetting to place a kiss on my hand before putting it back on the plaque.

“I have to go, but I’ll try to come back tomorrow before I leave. I love you, Dad.”

I sensed my mother’s impatience as she called me in a less pleasant manner. I sighed and walked back to the house. As soon as I stepped through the patio door into the living room, I ran into her. She was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed and a stern look on her face. It seemed the three weeks without seeing me hadn’t calmed her down. She invited me to sit on the couch across from her. I sat down and waited for it to happen. I was about to get an earful… I looked up to see her analyzing me in detail. She stared into my eyes before finally speaking.

“I don’t understand you,” she began. “I really don’t understand how a girl like you, with so much potential, manages to ruin everything. I sent you to that school to give you a chance to start over! Why do you always feel the need to mess everything up!?”

“Stop,” I murmured.

“No, I won’t stop this time! Stop acting like a child, Ona! You never wanted my help, so I thought this school would be beneficial, but even being there, I realize you’ll never change! Will there never be a way to get my little girl back? You went to Manchester having used drugs, for heaven’s sake! Do you realize your immaturity?! Did you think about your loved ones for a single second? About how worried they are about you?!”

I clenched my fists. It’s the pot calling the kettle black! She didn’t give me time to respond and kept accusing me of worrying everyone. Mapi would have come here to check on me. I wasn’t really in a state to give her any news. Maybe I should have asked Bronze to do it for me, but I had other things on my mind. I let her get angry, taking in the hurtful words she hurled at me. Eventually, she stopped, and I took advantage of the moment to spill my own thoughts.

“It’s your fault I’m like this!” I raised my voice. “Stop blaming everything on me when you have your share of responsibility!”

“I don’t see why it should be my fault!” she snapped.

And there it was. The tone already escalated. We’d never manage to have a normal conversation together. We couldn’t stand each other. Our views were different, and there was clearly a lack of communication.

“You’re the one who decided to start your little life with your new family without caring about me once!”

“Stop always blaming me for the same things, Ona! You’re not the center of the world!”“

- I always blame you for the same things because you don’t understand! You don’t even realize that you’re pushing me aside!

- And you? You’ve never given me a place in your life! No matter how much I try to help you, you never accept me! I’ve tried to understand you, but you’re completely closed off! The girl I knew was full of life! She laughed and smiled all the time. She’s certainly not this teenager who constantly throws tantrums and makes mistakes!

- Here we go again. Do you even hear yourself? Have you ever once tried to find out the reasons behind my behavior?!

She looked at me, bewildered. She didn’t even know how to respond. Her silence spoke volumes. She never tried to understand. For once, she let me speak, so I took the opportunity to get everything off my chest.

- No, of course not! You never look beyond your own nose. You accuse me every time without thinking further. You don’t even ask if I’m really guilty!

- Oh Ona! Stop always exaggerating!

- Do you remember the time you were called in because I hit a girl at school? Well, that girl spent her time humiliating me in the playground. One day I’d had enough and I snapped. For you, there was no doubt who was at fault that day! You believed that poor little girl over your own child! And it’s still the same now! You never listen to me! I’m always the one at fault no matter what!

Just recounting it brought back memories from years ago. My mother was unable to respond. I didn’t plan to stop there. She deserved to know what I really thought.

- You talk as if you’re a victim, but you don’t know what it’s like to have no trust from your own mother! Do you want to know what happened that weekend? Well, I drank! I drank a lot because I needed it after being locked up for three weeks because of you! I even ran into Feli at the party, but you wouldn’t know that because you never take an interest in my life!

I calmed down when I saw Joan watching us from the stairs with a terrified look. I realized at that moment that I had stood up in anger. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes to calm down and take a deep breath after shouting. My mother still didn’t dare respond. When I looked at her again, I saw that she was stunned.

- Do you know what saddens me the most? It’s that at least in this camp, I made new friends who completely trust me. For the first time in my life, I was allowed to justify my actions. She not only gave me the benefit of the doubt, but she even convinced me it wasn’t my fault when I started to have doubts.

She didn’t seem to understand my words, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to explain the whole story to her; she wasn’t worth it. She should have asked me when the time was right.

- So now, before you try to change me, you should reassess your principles and be a good mother. Meanwhile, I’m going to do my big sister duty and take Joan to the ice rink.

I didn’t give her time to recover from her emotions as I walked toward Joan, who hadn’t taken his eyes off me. His terrified look had turned to sadness. I knew he didn’t like it when I argued with our mother. He had already heard so much from our exchanges that I understood. I held out my arms to him, and he didn’t hesitate to come to me.

- I promised we’d go this afternoon, didn’t I?

- I don’t like it when you fight with Mom.

- I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry you have to see this, but I intend to make it up to you. Are you ready?

He nodded, and I smiled at him. I carried him to the coat rack in the entryway to get her jacket and shoes. I left the house without looking back at the living room where my mother hadn’t moved. Hector was taking us. I felt bad for bothering him for such a small thing every time, but I didn’t have a car. My mother never wanted to get me one, even though I’ve had my license for a long time. I could understand her. There were few times I was in a state to drive. I could have caused countless serious accidents. The ride was silent. I enjoyed the landscape, which was completely different from Manchester. It was much more familiar, having lived here for several years. When we arrived at the ice rink, I asked Hector to pick us up in two hours. Joan held my hand as we walked into the building. I had managed to calm down. I promised myself to enjoy it. Joan helped by spreading his good mood around. He was so excited that she pulled me toward the entrance. I was happy to see that he wasn’t angry with me anymore. He managed to bring out my first smile since the argument with my mother. There weren’t too many people at the counter, so I quickly got our tickets and then moved to the next counter to get our skates. I listened to him tell me little stories about his life. I found him so adorable. He had such a perfect life compared to mine. He had fun and didn’t worry about anything. I wished I could regain that carefree attitude. I just hoped he would turn out better than me.

- Hey, Ona?

- Hmm?

- Why do you always fight with Mom?

- Let’s just say Mom and I don’t see eye to eye, you understand? She doesn’t understand, and neither do I. Have you ever argued with a friend?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, it’s the same between Mom and me.

- Except I always forgive after a fight.

- I’d like that too, Jo, but it’s more complicated than that.

- Why? You just have to talk to solve the problem.

- Exactly, except Mom never lets me defend myself.

- That’s not fair!

It’s easier to give examples to a child so he can understand. I knew he was right, but I could never forgive my mother for everything she had done. Or rather, not done. She never tried to understand me.”

- I don’t love Mom anymore.

- What? No, no, no! You need to stay out of this.

- But she hurts you and even sent you far away from me.

I sighed, running my hand over my face. His words reminded me that I hadn’t been able to discuss his little misdeeds with him. I began to understand why he was acting out. He wanted to get back at our mother. Seeing that we wouldn’t find a free bench soon, I decided to crouch down.

- Joan, you shouldn’t get involved in this. It’s grown-up stuff.

- I am grown-up! he pouted.

- That’s not what I meant, I rolled my eyes. It’s just that it concerns Mom and me. Just because I’m having issues with her doesn’t mean you should too. You don’t need to give her a hard time just because she sent me to a school far away from you.

- But you do it when something displeases you!

I frowned. He really had an answer for everything. Why was he so clever? I was just like him at that age. I reacted quickly and asked all the questions that came to mind.

- It’s not the same. Mom takes care of you and you’ve always loved her. You don’t need to take my role at home. Understand?

- I guess, he mumbled.

- It’s not right to bother everyone and cause trouble, I continued. Mom and your dad can’t be proud of you acting this way. They love you a lot, you know, and it hurts them to see what you’re doing. So, I’m asking you to stop. Can you do that for me?

He frowned, then nodded. I think he understood now. I stood up when I finally saw a free spot. I managed to take it before someone else could.

- Will I be able to come see you once in Manchester? Because you know, waiting all the time is long!

- It will be complicated, I chuckled. If I stay there, I’m not allowed to leave the school. But if you want to come when I can go out, you’ll have to talk to Mom so she can bring you for a weekend.

- I’m big enough to go alone!

I laughed at the thought. I would pay to see Mom’s face when Joan told him that. I put our things in the locker, then helped Joan who was struggling to put on his skates. When we were ready, I didn’t need to hold Joan to move forward. He managed perfectly on his own. He had grown a lot since the last time I brought him here. He must have come without me because he seemed much more skilled than I remembered. I followed him as best as I could, he was moving everywhere. It made me happy to finally take care of him. She deserved it after all I put him through. I had two hours to make it up to him and enjoy it. We laughed a lot together. He managed to make me fall many times, which amused him greatly. Then we met a girl from his class. It seems flirting starts early these days! She was with her brother. I ended up talking with him since the two kids didn’t want to part. We spent the rest of the afternoon with them, much to my little brother’s delight. I couldn’t refuse him request even though I would have preferred to stay just the two of us.

Saturday, November 14; 6:20 PM - Ona’s Room.

I played with my phone in my hands. I had been hesitating for fifteen minutes to send a message to Bronze. I needed to talk and she was the only person who came to mind for the subject I wanted to discuss. I sighed, falling back onto my pillow. I had invited Mapi over for dinner tonight. She should be arriving soon, considering how long I had been thinking for nothing. I replayed my entire day in my mind, now that Joan was giving me a break. It was only because he was in the shower, otherwise, he would certainly be by my side. I opened my eyes when I heard noise downstairs. The sounds continued up the stairs. I sat up cross-legged just as my bedroom door flew open. She quickly spotted me, giving me a wide smile. She looked me up and down.

- Oh my God Ona! It’s so good to see you… looking normal.

- Happy to see you too, Leon, I giggled as I stood up.

She continued to examine me with a worried look. She sighed and finally hugged me. I eagerly accepted her embrace. I had missed her. Missed her so much.

- I’m fine, Maps… I’ve been through a lot, but I’m okay. I’m sorry I didn’t give you any news. I wasn’t able to, but I should have asked someone to do it for me.

- Don’t worry, it’s enough to see you in good shape.

- They took good care of me.

- You avoided rehab?

- Yeah, thanks to Bronze. She supported me against all odds.

We exchanged a smile. I could see she was holding back a comment. I knew her too well. I rolled my eyes in amusement and encouraged her to speak.

- I was wondering if… well um… you see… if that school is helping you? Sorry, she hurried. I know you don’t like talking about it, but I feel like it’s changing you a lot, you know and-

- Stop, I laughed, cutting her off. No one can stop you when you’re nervous. I don’t mind talking about it. I think you’re right, I sighed. The school is helping… at least the people there are…

- That’s good, she smiled. I was starting to lose hope of seeing the Ona I knew again.”

I smiled at her sincerely. I was losing hope too, if only she knew. I’ve been questioning a lot of things since that moment I cried in Bronze’s arms. That behavior triggered something deep inside me. It was the first time I managed to open up to someone. Not by talking about my past, but by talking about myself, about my fears. Since then, I’ve felt like I might be able to climb out of this, but the road is still very long.

- Anyway, I hope you’re ready because we’re going out tonight! she announced.

Oh no... For some reason, I haven’t liked hearing that phrase since last time. I’m really afraid of crossing my limits. She seems to see that I’m hesitant.

- Please! I promise I’ll watch over you. Ana is hosting the party. She suggested I bring you so you could meet her...

- I don’t know if it’s a good idea.

- Oh come on, it would be good for you to go out a bit. It’ll help you forget about school for a while. I won’t let you fall again.

- You’d better not. If Bronze has to get me sober again, she promised to keep me in school until I graduate.

- All the more reason for me to take care of you. No way she’s separating us!

- You’ll ditch me for your girlfriend at the first chance you get.

- I won’t take my eyes off you... Please! I’ve already told her you’re coming!

Saturday, November 14; 9:45 PM - Party at Ana’s House

Watch over me, my ass! It’s already been fifteen minutes since I started looking for Mapi, with no luck. I’m stuck in a house, far from home, where I don’t know anyone. The music is loud, and there’s alcohol and any kind of illegal substance. If Bronze knew I was in a place like this, she’d kill me. I had to say yes. I promised Mapi I’d meet her girlfriend, and here I am in her house, all alone. I already regret it. I drank a few glasses to please my best friend, but that’s all. She introduced me to Ana. She’s super nice, just like Mapi said. I felt like she didn’t like me much at first, but it seemed to improve as we talked. I know she’s not aware of our relationship with Mapi, and luckily, because she seems quite jealous already. I made my way to the kitchen. I finally saw some familiar faces. They were Ana’s friends that she introduced earlier. I was about to go to them when someone grabbed my arm. Please... Not again...

- Hey! Ona, right?

- Alex? What are you doing here?

If we had planned this, we couldn’t have managed it. He’s the brother of the little girl we met at the ice rink this afternoon. He already looks pretty wasted.

- I could ask you the same. I’ve never seen you here before! I’m here with my best friend.

- Same. The owner of the house is my best friend’s girlfriend.

- Oh, I didn’t know! Want some?

He offered me a joint. Great... Just what I needed. I had made an effort to avoid this kind of thing all evening, and now it’s right in front of me. I understood why he was in such a state.

- Sorry, I don’t do that anymore, I declined.

- Oh come on, it’s nothing serious.

- I said no, I’d rather get a drink.

- As you wish, he smiled. I’ll come with you, and we can go outside.

- If you want, sure.

It’s probably better than being alone, even though I’m not sure he’s great company. I made myself a drink and followed him outside. He introduced me to his friends. The good news is I found Mapi and Ana. The bad news is that the table we’re at is covered in drugs. There’s as much weed as there is cocaine on the table. It’s insane. Mapi noticed my concern and placed her arm around my shoulders to reassure me.

- Relax... I said I’d watch over you.

- Why aren’t you taking anything? Alex asked from my other side.

- I quit, and I don’t want to fall back into it.

- Here, drink a bit since you’re already here, it’ll do you good, Mapi said. There’s a room upstairs if you want to stay.

- No way. I promised Joan I’d come home to sleep with him.

- Just one drink then.

I accepted the drink, albeit reluctantly. I already knew I wouldn’t stop at just one. Especially since they were all eager for us to play drinking games. Again. I intended to leave the table, but my pride got the better of me when someone called me a chicken. Three in the morning came quickly. I was no longer in control of my movements. Somehow, I managed to get up from the table after refusing to kiss Alex in a game of spin the bottle. No more alcohol for tonight. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened last weekend here. I moved toward the garden. I needed to isolate myself to regain my composure. I went just far enough to hear only the laughter. I laughed as I remembered a guy’s joke. At the same time, I dialed a number on my phone.

- Ona? I heard on the other end.

- Heeey, Lucia ! How are you?

- Where are you?

I couldn’t help but laugh, thinking about what would happen when I got back. Her voice was stern, and she sounded angry. I was definitely not in control of my body or my mind.

- Everything’s fine! I’m not walking straight, but I’m okay!

- Don’t make me repeat myself. Where are you?

- At a party with Mapi! Oh dear, my head is spinning!

I burst out laughing as I leaned against a tree. I heard her sigh on the other end.

- Damn it, Ona, you’re so immature! Have you done anything other than drink?

- No, I said proudly. I listened to you for once.

- Go home. Now, she ordered.

- Or what?

- Ona... Don’t take advantage of the distance. I could make you run the miles you owe me for tonight to sober up first thing Monday morning, she threatened.

- Oh dear, I’m so scared!

- Don’t-

I hung up on her. I giggled, realizing the mess I had gotten myself into. What was I thinking calling her? I smiled when Mapi joined me. She had also had quite a few drinks, but she seemed more clear-headed than me. She laughed seeing my state.

- You okay, Onita ?

- Hummmm.

- Did you get a call from Commander? Who’s that?

- Bronze, I snickered. She’s going to kill me. I just hung up on her.

- You have her number?! she exclaimed, surprised.

- She gave it to me before she left. In case I had a problem, I explained. She knows I’m drunk, I’m screwed, I giggled.

Mapi teased me. I leaned my head against the tree behind me and closed my eyes for a moment. Not too long, because my head was really spinning.

- You should pick up, it’s her third call.

I realized she was right when I looked at my phone. I giggled again and finally answered on her fourth call. I didn’t even have time to put the phone to my ear before I had to pull it back.

- Damn it, Ona, don’t ever do that again, she yelled. Go home, now.

- Relax, baby, I laughed. It’s just a party.

- Baby? Mapi choked, spitting out her drink.

I laughed even harder, realizing the nickname I had just given her.

- Oops, shit! That’s not what you think, Maps, I giggled. Oh man, I’m really messed up.

- Are you with someone? I heard through my phone.

I let my phone slip accidentally. I laughed when I bumped into the tree. Before I could react, Mapi had picked up my phone and put it on speaker.

- Hey, this is Bronze, right?

- And who are you?

- Mapi, the best friend.

- Hmm. I know who you are. Has Ona taken any drugs?

- Thanks for the trust, I giggled. I said no!

- Shut up, Ona. I wasn't talking to you, and I don't want to hear from you anymore.

- No, she hasn’t taken anything, Mapi replied, laughing. She was adamant about it, and I stayed sober just to watch over her.

- See! You can trust me!

- I told you to be quiet, Ona! We’ll deal with this when you get back.

I groaned at her words. What did I say? I’m in trouble. I’m going to have a rough time. I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn’t see me anyway.

- I can’t drive her back with all the alcohol I’ve had, my best friend said. But I can call her driver to pick her up.

- You can't be serious, Maps! You said I could stay here!

- And you said you wanted to sleep with Joan! she retorted.

- You made me drink like crazy, saying I needed to have fun!

- I never forced you to drink!

I was about to argue back, but Bronze’s voice interrupted our debate that could have gone on for hours. I laughed as she scolded me, calling me reckless. When I finally calmed down, I heard her sigh.

- Call her driver and tell him I want a message when she's in bed.

- You can't make me go home from a party across the country!

- Watch me!

- You've never forbidden me from going to parties!

- Have you seen your state? Do you want me to remind you how it ended last time? You’re going home, period! And believe me, we’ll have a serious talk when you get back, she repeated.

I groaned in frustration at her words. She talked a bit more with Mapi before the latter hung up. She continued to tap on my phone, probably calling Hector as planned. She stood up and helped me do the same. She held me up as we walked to the exit and through the outer gate.

- Come on, beautiful, it's time to go home.

- I don’t want to go home, I mumbled.

- But your girlfriend wants you to.

- She’s not my girlfriend, I grumbled more.

- You can tell me, you know? she laughed. You called her baby!

- It slipped out.

- Sure it did, she teased.

- It's true! She's going to kill me on Monday, damn it.

We waited five minutes in front of the house before Hector's service car appeared. He helped Mapi get me into the car. I was really in bad shape. Maybe Bronze wasn’t wrong. He closed the door after settling me in. I could still hear them talking, but I was too drunk to understand what they were saying. Hector joined the driver's side after their conversation. Mapi opened the door one last time to give me a kiss on the forehead.

- See you tomorrow. Sleep well, Ona.

I groaned slightly in response. She closed the door, and Hector drove off. It didn’t even take two minutes for me to fall asleep, my head resting against the car window.

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ monday 17th of december

⋆˙⟡

i forgot to weigh myself this day as well, but it really wasn’t that relevant… anyways. i woke up late again around 12:00-13:00 and i started my morning with my dad texting me… ill drop the texts below

i provided some translations.. well i went downstairs feeling very nervous… i decided i probably shouldn’t obsessively weigh my food or log it extensively so when i give the cal estimate it is a overestimation tbh…

when i was plating up my food he really made me nervous by being like “put more put more ! atleast 5-6” and “how much do you weigh ?” and when i said i didn’t know, he insisted i go to weigh myself. he then kept saying stuff like “you should’ve put more toppings” and “you used to be able to eat 5-6 of them” which makes sense cause i used to be in the bmi30’s and now im in the bmi17’s … it was just all very triggering. i still chose to eat downstairs to not arouse too much suspicion, although this did lead to me HAVING to finish my food… sigh

to preface, i fasted for 37 hours and 30 mins ! was pretty proud of this… usually i fast around 20-25 hours per meal nowadays but ofc since i skipped daytime eating the day before i got a pretty long fast in ^^

lunch omad :

3 pancakes, 2 with chocolate spread topping, one of those having a lotus cookie crumbled in, and 1 with strawberry jam —— some rice, idk how much, and 2 sausages. also a glass of water cause i did not want to drink any liquid cals . oh and cucumbers with greek yogurt

cals : 881

the cals were pretty terrible, but my dad is extremely pushy and he has a past of being emotionally abusive to a degree… he body shamed me DAILY when i was fat and now he’s seeing the consequences of his actions… my “eating disorder” was born from him and his words… i’ll be honest, if it was my choice, i would not have more than 2 pancakes, maybe even one, i would’ve kept fasting for longer, but i felt kind of backed into a corner

i was actually really afraid he’d make me eat more, but after i finished up i actually felt so full i could puke and my mom said i don’t need to force myself to eat if im genuinely not hungry which made me feel relief.

my dad said “he should eat atleast 2 more pancakes with dinner” something like this and i shook my head in silence, my mom said “nooo he can have them tommorow” and my dad said “tommorow is too late” almost as if to trigger my old binge eating habits

(i used to binge a lot because MY food in the fridge would always dissapear and just not be available for later consumption and i’d just get really scared and honestly greedy too…)

anyways i went back up feeling sick, i just didn’t do much of anything untill maybe 6-7 pm when i asked my mom to go to the store with me.. so we walk to the nearby store together cause i planned to get energy drinks for the next day (thank you past me)

i got 4 energy drinks for the next day, and my mom also got me more shampoo since i ran out of my one and had been using her in the times i would be showering.. she also got me 2 face cleansers since i use a specific one that doesn’t irritate my very sensitive thin ass eyelids i always slap lots of makeup and eyeliner and LASHGLUE ON (recently less guys im healing)… i also got a milkis drink and let her try it. sigh on the walk back home i felt dizzy and all but i honestly think its cause i smoke so much lol. i smoke on these walks with my mom

afterwards i got home and i called eli feeling tired. we talked a bit, then i drew for a little bit, not that long, then i started getting really hungry so i took sleeping pills at 9 pm.. i drew some more and by 10-11 pm i felt so tired i just put on my headphones and went to sleep… my scarred arm started swelling a bit today also and leaking ewwwwww but its fine its just healing. im so glad i’ve kept up my omad streak for quite a bit now im so so proud of myself tbh….

total cals : 881

total steps : n.v.t (35 min walk with mom !)

this song is very cool hehehe it reminds me of just… drawing and story writing and cool stories… just cool vibes.

⋆˙⟡

[flammingnachos]

𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏(topper thornton x fem!reader)

𝘚𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴; opposite attract they say, well that’s the case for you and topper your the embodiment of a person that makes choices without the fear of judgment or criticism and then there’s topper

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨; Pogue!reader, abusive topper, controlling and manipulative,cursing, slight forced marriage, SMUT, (1/2)

Reckless.

Something that I’ve always been called as a child

I’ve never really paid attention to what anyone had ever about me since I’ve never really cared too much about people's opinions why worry about something that doesn’t make a difference in your life rather than just stress about it

My Perspective on people's opinions however changed during my teen years after my parents went bankrupt and were forced to slave themselves for the cooks on the other side of the town, my father worked for Judge Thornton as his personal construction worker.

My father became great friends with judge Thornton through out the years occasionally bringing me over during my teens years to meet Mr Thornton only son Topper.

During this time Topper didn’t even spare a few glances or a few words other than “hi” and “bye” from the times I’ve been over at his home as “play dates” as my parents liked to call it. He was busy hanging out with this best friend rafe and started talking to Sarah cameron

It was when I turned 16 my life had really changed, mom was home for a few days of the week while dad was barely ever there after my 15th birthday. It was then that same day a few knocks where heard on my front door

I looked over at the broken chronograph that was slanted on the wall seeing that it read 8:00 PM

“Who could be coming this late” I wondered

I hesitatingly walked over to the door slightly peeking through the door seeing that it was Sheriff Shoupe and another male officer with him, he looked up at me

“may I have a word with you Cassidy” He asked taking off his hat and resting it upon his chest

“Uhm my mother isn’t here at the moment you’ll have to come back another time,” I said looking around the house a bit

“Well, there’s no need what I need to talk to you about is about them” he sighed out

My eyebrows furrowed

I opened the door fully and gestured for them both to come in

“I didn’t want to deliver this kind of message to a young person as yourself but your parents have been arrested” He said calmly

It went silent after he said that, my whole world felt like it was gonna go crashing down after that, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I just kept feeling daggers go straight through my heart and my vision blurring a bit

I wiped my eyes slightly

“W-what do you mean sheriff” I asked

“They’ve been arrested for theft, your father has been stealing money from judge Thornton bank and hiding it with your mother”

I stayed silent waiting for him to continue holding in my breath silently

“Judge Thornton was going to press charges but he made a deal with your father for his repayment, it involved you” he finished out waiting for my reaction

“W-what about me?” I whispered out

“He made a deal that you’ll be living with them from now on and you’ll be married off to there son Topper to repay the dept your father owed them” He said

That’s it right there.. when my whole word fell apart and crashed down right on me, the air seemed like it was suffocating me and the feet felt more heavier than they usual are and my body felt so hard to be still

I felt like passing out

The sheriff noticed this and held me slightly seeing my body about to stumble over and fall right onto the floor

“I understand how you feel Cassidy but right now your parents requested me take you back over the station to see them before they are put in jail” he said walking out the door slowly and guiding me over to the police car as he opened the door and I hesitantly got in frozen in place as he slammed the door and got in the drivers seat taking off

I was frozen in place unable to think or move a bone

This had to be a dream

The car moved up and down slightly as the sheriff drove through the bridge that separated the cooks from the pogues. The flashing lights from the street lamp post illuminating slightly over my face as he drove in the darkness

Without noticing more tears started slowly crept up into my eyes and right down on my face continuously as I wiped them trying the hardest for it to stop raining on my face but it didn’t.

The sheriff heard my sniffles and whales of cries and glanced at the rear view mirror.

I didn’t notice we reached at the station until I felt my door being opened and the cool summer air gushing on to me.

“C’mon Cassidy” he whispered out putting his hand out for me to grab onto it

I slowly looked up from the floor and looked over at his with glassy eyes slowly inching my arms to his and getting out the car

He closed the door guiding me into the station and down in the interrogation area, my head being dipped down and focused onto the floor the whole way there

He opened the door and there I was faced with my father and mother sitting side by side staring right at me with guilt in there eyes. I couldn’t bare to even look at them for what they had done and the situation they had now put me through

The sheriff pulled out the chair infront of my mother as I sat down chewing the bottom of lip

“Well I’ll leave you guys to it, you have a few more minutes left with your parents before there transit comes” he announced and then looked back over at them before taking his leave

The room stayed quiet

“Look sweetie what your father and I did was all for you, we didn’t mean for this to happen w-we just wanted you to have a better future” my mother spoke putting her hands over the table and rubbing the dried tears off my cheeks slightly

“Y-you’ve set me up to get married to some guy I barely even know a Cook at that” I sniffed

“It was the only way doll, it was either that or have you work for Mr Thornton off the debt that I made, I couldn’t have you slave behind me for something you didn’t even do” My father spoke back

I looked up at him with nothing to fury

“THEN WHY!? why do this shit if you knew you would have been caught and your poor old daughter would have to take all your consequence” I half yelled at him in frustration

This shocked both of my parents as there eyes both went up at my tone not to mention my cursing my mother removed her hands from my face

“Sweetie what we did was for you, for your future for your college for you fucking life-!” My mother started to yell but my father interrupted her trying to call her down

“louis!” he yelled

“Cassidy what your mother is trying to say is that this may seem like what we did was reckless of us because we didn’t think of the consequences but we did and we knew we would pay the price but we didn’t think that they would use you as the price we would be paying” My father explains in one breath

I stayed silent again

Right on cue the door opened we all turned to look over at who it was seeing it was another police office

“Times up, your transit is here Mr and Mrs Ryder” the man announced opening the door more wider as two other officers came in handcuffing both of my parents

“Wait wait, I didn’t get to-”I flinged up in a rush to stop them from handcuffing both of my parents

“I’m sorry ma’am but there transit is here to take them to the county prison” he tried to reasoned out

“It’s okay Cassidy, we deserve this” my father softly spoke out

“We’ll be fine, take care of yourself baby” my mother croaked out, water falling down on her face as she shut her eyes to stop herself fork crying even more than she already was

At the sight made me cry to seeing my other cry

“Noo mom please” I cried out blinded by the water spilling out my eyes

I grabbed my hands out for my mother as officer backed me up off her as I continued crying

“Well always love you Cassidy” my father said before he disappeared out the door and so did my mother, her cries still heard bouncing off the walls

The officer used his walkie talkie calling in for sherif shoupe

I sat back down crying into my arms

“I’ll take it from here officer”shoupe I recognized his voice nearing over towards me

“everything gonna be okay Cassidy, you can always vist them” he tried to cheer me up

I only cried out more

“C’mom cassidy we can’t be in here much longer, it’s getting late and you’ll catch a cold from the way you’ve been crying” he whispered out slightly picking up my arms

I sniffed whipping my eyes to stop the tears as I got up following shoupe to his police car passing by the rest of the officers as my continued wiping my eyes to stop the water from running back down my face some more

Sheriff shoupe opened his police car door as I slowly got inside the car buckling my seatbelt, the car taking off once I did so

I turned my head to the right looking thru the window watching as the trees passed by and by all the street lights that were now on

“It’s not my place but try to give Mr and Mrs Thornton a chance before you can judge” I heard Sherif shoupe spoke out making me turn my attention towards him driving the car

“Yeah”I whispered turning my attention back outside until we reached to my destination

We arrived in the next 10 minutes as the car came to a halt infront of there lawn, he got out walking springing to my side to open the door for me

I awkwardly smiled and got out as be slamed the door shut and started walking to the front door as I followed along

I examined my surroundings seeing their lawn perfectly mowed per usual and their front porch always looking effortlessly perfect, I stopped walking behind Sheriff Shoupe as he knocked on the door waiting for an answer

It took a minute for Mrs Thornton to answer the door, she smiled seeing Sheriff Shoupe but that smile faltered a bit seeing me there

Just great

“Sheriff it's nice to see you here with Cassidy” She cheered on with that plastic smile of hers

The sheriff smiled at this

“The pleasure is all mine, Cassidy didn't get to pack anything at all since her parents wanted to see her before they were transported to county prison” he explained as to why I just showed up empty handed with nothing but my phone

She nodded her head

“It's alright there's nothing like a little shopping won't fix for her” she chuckled out

He smiled while I stood there awkwardly

“Well, I should leave you guys to it then..Cassidy..enjoy your time with them and please don't stress over your parents there in great hands” He informed me, Turning to me as I nodded at his response

The sheriff nodded walking past me and right into his car, at Mrs Thornton opened the door more widely and gestured for me to walk in

“Come in please do” She said

As I walked in she the slammed the door shut, locking it making her way into another room in which I followed right behind her

“Mr Thornton or Topper isn't here at the moment which is great so I can just have a talk with you before I show you to your room and then you'll be meeting Both of them after they come in”she explained while taking a seat in her living room I'm guessing

“Sure” I croaked out unsure of what to really say to her

she smiled straightening her posture on the seat

“Okay good, as I'm assuming you already know you'll be the future wife of my son..”she paused looking for my reaction

I nodded pressing my lips onto a thin line looking around for a bit

“Good, there aren't many rules here but for you to always be with Topper outside, there aren't any restrictions or anything in the house…and you can't be out too late now” she finished off

“Okay” I said

“Alright, nice and obedient.. You truly are perfect” She smiled at me as I thanked her for the compliment

“Now I'm gonna show you to the room you'll be using until you and Topper graduate and you can move out and live somewhere by yourselves,” she said getting up and walking up the stairs and then making a left then up a smaller stairs in the corner where I saw three doors lined up next to each other

“that's Topper's room, Your room is right next to his, and The bathroom at the last corner” She explained using her hands

I hummed as she walked to the middle door opening it while walking in, following after her I got inside the bedroom and was amazed at what was infornt of me

It was bigger than all the rooms in my old House combined, I actually had a closet and not just a basket where I fold all my clothes and put them in and a big window scenery. Where I could sit and watch outside

I continued staring around the room twisting and turning as I inspected everything with my mouth agape in shock

“I know right, took my maids a few hours to get room cleaned out and changed into a girl room which was a guest room at first” She explained smiling at my reaction

She took a seat at the edge of the bed patting right next to her for me to sit down beside her, I listened sitting right down next to her

“I’ve never really had this type of experience before, since I've only grown Topper since he was young and his father and I were too busy to even try again” she sighed looking a bit sad

“I get that” I sympathized

She gave me a little smile pulling me into her embrace a bit

“Well, the boys is gonna get here in a few more hours so you have enough time to be alone in your new room for a bit before you meet your future husband” she cheered getting up and was about to leave before I halted her

“Thank you again..i’m sorry for what my parents have caused your family” I apologized

She only smiled at this

“Your parents actions aren't you faults, whatever they did doesn't correlate to you” She said, and then taking her leave shutting the door half open half closed a bit

I rested for a bit laying down on the bed before hearing some voices downstairs after a couple of hours just staring at the ceiling

“I still don’t get why where doing this mom” It was topper

And his mother arguing once again but it seemed like there voices were getting nearer to my room door

I squealed getting up and making myself look at least presentable and straight inform of topper and his father

Right then the door swinged open revealing all here of them Mr and Mrs Thornton and Topper himself all looking at me

Gosh

My breathed was nearly taken away by the sight of Topper, he still looked perfect from when he was younger

I say frozen unable to say a word but watch mindlessly as Mr and Mrs Thornton continued to argue some more

“Your wasting your life mopping behind that Sarah girl when you could be finding yourself a wife to continue the family legacy” his mother grumbled out angryly

“But mom” topper tried to reason out but his mother huffed out walking away from him as his father followed along

He stood there lost in silence

My crush on Topper never subsided even when he used to be jerk with rafe to me and John b and jj I still liked him even after his situation with the cook princess

It seemed like he’s examining me head to toe

We stood there in silence once more

“Enjoy your stay” he said in monotone voice before taking his leave and slamming his door right next to mines

Well that was just great

[skkfujoshi]

You gotta die sometime

Chuuya had never prayed.

As far as he was concerned,having a god you could just talk to kind of defeated the purpose.Why be deferential,respectful when you could just badger the bastard?When you knew you’d always get answers?

Now that he couldn’t do either…He had no choice left but to pray.To pay reverence to the stubborn peace of shit…

He took a deep breath and shoved his hand in his pocket,pulling out a couple of coins.

He was standing in front of one of the very few Ahrahabaki shrines.It was in Surubachi,go figure.

With another deep breath,he tossed the money into the offering box.

Chuuya bowed once,making sure to do so slowly.He bowed again,shutting his eyes.

Right hand tad lower than the left,he clapped.

Once. Twice.

His words were drawn out as he mouthed the plea.

“Please let me fix this.Please let me fix this and not die…”Chuuya whispered

Not the most sophisticated prayer,but it got the point across,he supposed.

A beat.A few.A whole minute…His head still hurt just as bad as it had been hurting that whole week…

Chuuya’s bow this time was quick.He gritted his teeth as he ran down the stairs.He rushed over to his motorcycle,shoving the helmet onto his head and jamming the key into the ignition.

Fine,he’ll fix it himself.

-||||||-

It was two weeks after they got joint custody of Akutagawa when Dazai decided to say it.

“I don’t get it.” “What?”Chuuya asked,looking up from his laptop “Giving up the position you always wanted for some random kid.It’s dumb.That’s supposed to be PM not AM,by the way.” “…It’s 11AM now.You’re not making him train that late at night.” “You’ll ruin him.”Dazai sighed,tossing himself onto their bed

His partner scoffed,closing the file and turning off his laptop.

“Not any worse than you did.” “I just don’t see the angle.You know we’re like…the exception,right?”

Chuuya glared at him.

“He’s certainly not gonna outlive us.And when he kicks the bucket,you’ll have nothing to show for it.” “…So what?I should just not give a shit about anyone?Like you?”

Dazai nodded,smiling innocently.

“Naturally.If everyone were like me,we’d live in a utopia.”

Chuuya rolled his eyes,shutting the laptop and sliding it under the bed.

“Probably because everyone would kill themselves before they could fuck anything up.” “As I said,utopia.” “…Kill yourself.” “I’m trying.”Dazai sang

Chuuya threw himself onto the bed as well,right next to Dazai.

“Is that really how you view the world?People are only worth what they can give you?” “It’s how it is.Take your dear old dad for example.He needs my smarts and my ability,that’s why despite all the times I threaten him he hasn’t put a bullet in my head yet.”

Chuuya moved to lay on his elbows,mouth flat but lips twitching for a moment.Whether they were bound to go downwards or not,Dazai didn’t know,Chuuya quickly schooling his expression.

“Same with you.He gives you the affection and praise.In turn you give your life,power and loyalty.”Dazai said,matter of factly

He hadn’t meant for it to be cruel,hadn’t unnecessarily dragged out the words so they’d sink in further.Maybe he should’ve.

If he had,perhaps Chuuya would have been too taken aback to wrap his hand around Dazai’s throat.Not that Dazai was complaining,Chuuya’s weight on him and the pressure on his neck was the closest to death he’d been the whole week.Considering how slow work’s been going he’d gladly take this.

But on a practical level he had to admit it was a bit of a problem.

“Take that back.”Chuuya ordered “Why?I’m not wrong.Sure,if you die your father might miss you but that won’t really matter will it?At the end of the day,you’ll still have some equally powerful shmuck taking your place after a week.Maybe even less.”

Chuuya’s nails scraped as his hold on Dazai’s throat tightened,spots starting to dance at the edge of the brunette’s vision.

“Take.It.Back.” “This is an enterprise first and foremost,Chuuya.The faster you accept that,the better.”Dazai panted

Chuuya’s hand tightened further for just a moment,a breathy laugh coming out of Dazai at the feeling.But then,Chuuya got off with a scoff,hurriedly pulling his hair into a ponytail.

“You know,I pity you.” “Do you?Why’s that?” “Because when you finally kill yourself nobody will miss or mention you.And that’s really fucking sad.”Chuuya spat,turning back to him

His glare didn’t stay long,instead soon sinking into annoyance.His teeth weren’t bared for long either with his lips promptly tightening into a thin line.

His eyebrows fell quickly as well,mouth tugging downwards.For a moment Dazai thought he might’ve spotted a flicker of guilt or even worse sympathy.Before Chuuya could say a word more,he beat him to it.

“Maybe.But at least I have nothing and no one to lose.”

They both went to bed without another word.

|- - - - - -|

“Don’t know whether this is worse or better than the paperwork”Kunikida said shutting the door of Yosano’s office

Dazai put the last scalpel away as he straightened up.

“Definitely better.This way none of you have to look at my handwriting.” “Mhh…So you and Atsushi talked?” “Yup.And surprisingly he’s against it just as much as the rest of you.I know,shocker.”

Kunikida rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair as Dazai kicked the drawer closed. “Why?” “I already told you why I want to kill-“ “Not why you want to kill him.Why you haven’t done it yet.”

Dazai blinked at Kunikida,the two staring at one another for an awkwardly long moment.

“So?” “I can’t just break into-“ “You could and would.You grew up there,you know that building like the back of your hand.You had no problem getting out before,you should have no problem getting in.”

Dazai was surprised by the matter of fact quality of his partner’s tone.Notably,a much different tune than he was singing when Dazai first informed them of his intentions.The brunette quirked his brow and snorted.

“Think I won’t do it?” “I think you’re stalling.” “My plans take time.” “Only when you want them to.”

Dazai sat himself down on the table and crossed his legs,leaning forward.Kunikida seemed unbothered.

Which really just meant he wasn’t getting off his back any time soon.

“Can you tell me what this is really about?”

Kunikida,without a word ,pulled out a small photo.

“Two years.Still in your apartment.” “…I never said I’d be happy about it.” “There’s a big difference between “not happy about it” and “it will destroy me”,Dazai.” “Oh please,don’t be so dramatic.”

Kunikida scoffed.

“Dramatic?Dazai,the entire time we dated,you barely kept his name out of your mouth and you thought he was dead at the time.” “I didn’t think he was dead.I thought it was po-“ “Big difference.And don’t think for a second that I didn’t notice how you two were when he showed up here.”

Dazai got off and stretched his arms above his head.

“Look,I’m tired of repeating the same spiel about why you shouldn’t kill him.You already heard all the reasons,so I won’t bother.” “But?” “Don’t force us to pick up the pieces when you don’t make it through this ok.”Kunikida said getting up and reaching for the handle

He turned back to Dazai as he opened the door.

“Please.”

And with that,Dazai was back to being alone in Yosano’s office.He plopped himself onto the floor and groaned as he ran his hand through his hair.

Sometimes he really missed not giving a shit about anyone…Caring made people’s lack of understanding infinitely less entertaining.

Dazai swung his fist at the heavens.

“Damn you.”he said halfheartedly Who he was damning,he had no clue.

Could’ve been Kunikida,Chuuya,Mori(though for that he would’ve had to swing down)…Possibly Odasaku for putting him into this mess.

Heck,maybe even the universe itself.

Not that it really…

“Suddenly I get this urge to end this life of mine,hanging from the ceiling a rope I’m gonna tie”interrupted Dazai’s ring tone

Dazai smiled despite himself as he pocketed his phone.He was half tempted to just let the song play,purely because it always put him in such a good mood.He changed his mind when he saw the caller ID,cutting the refrain short as he picked up.

“Hey Ango,what’s-“ “Dazai,we have a problem!Fyodor faked his own death and now he’s on the loose!We’re searching for him right now.Tell the-“ “I’ll tell Ranpo,just tell us where you’re at and we’ll be there in a few.” “Immigration office.” ”Got it.Talk to you later.”Dazai said getting up and ending the call

-

Three hours…Three hours and no luck at all.It almost seemed like a joke.Most people would have to try to be as unfortunate as Chuuya was right now

Maybe this was divine punishment.If so…. “Way to be petty, ‘Baki.”he muttered under his breath,before taking another sip of the shitty gas station coffee

His phone rang and while he hoped it was Akutagawa,that possibility was almost immediately dashed.He sighed as he picked up.

“Hey,sis.” “Not going well?”Kōyo asked “Nope…Three hours of looking and not a sign of him.” “How long do you plan to keep going? “Until I get him.”

Kōyo gave a hearty sigh in response.

“For tonight,Chuuya.” “For tonight…Probably an hour more.” “Better than until midnight,I suppose.Good luck.” “Thank you. “Oh and one more thing.” “Hmm?” “Told you so.”she teased

Chuuya rolled his eyes.

“Very funny.Talk to you later.” “See ya.”she said,hanging up

Chuuya put his phone back in his pocket and leaned against the gas station wall,finishing off his coffee.He checked the cup and sure enough…

He groaned.Empty.And he still felt tired as shit.Maybe he should get a energy bar from the vending machine or something…

He peaked trough the glass door,ascertaining his options.Just as Chuuya figured that he didn’t like any of them,he saw a black haired man walk out of the bathroom.He was pale with purple eyes and was currently getting tea on the cofee machine.

He had Fyodor’s features basically memorized,the rat’s photo having been on his desk constantly for almost a month.This man was a dead ringer.

Of course,lookalikes happened.He couldn’t just assume.

After a quick toss of his plastic cofee cup into a trash bin,Chuuya pushed the door open and made his way over to the vending machine.His eyes flicked over to the Fyodor lookalike.He seemed confused,squinting at some piece of text on his own machine.

Inconspicuously,browsing the snack options,Chuuya asked:”Need some help?” “Yes actually…You see my Japanese isn’t the best,so it appears instead of the coffee I wanted,I ordered tea instead…”he mumbled in a thick Russian accent “Ah.Happens to the best of us.Allow me.”Chuuya said walking over

After a few moments,the cup was filled.

“Thank you…Sorry,I don’t think I caught your name.” “Dazai.”

Like hell was he giving his real one.

“And you are?” “Nikolai.” “Sounds Russian.New here?The accent sounds pretty fresh still.” “Yes.Arrived in the city yesterday,in fact.Starting a small buisness.”

Buisness,terrorism,same difference.

“I see.Well,good luck with that.” “Thank you kindly for your assistance.”he said with a smile that Chuuya found too smug

Chuuya smiled in turn,giving a small wave as he watched the man walk trough the door.He made his way over to a recently arrived Lada Niva.

Durable car,Chuuya noted to himself.A man with long white hair and an almost dreamy expression leaned out,the two exchanging words quickly.

Chuuya’s eyes widened.Ivan Goncharov,another member of the Rats.

He tried to read their lips but unfortunately he didn’t know Russian,so it was as if he hadn’t made the attempt at all.

Then Fyodor got in and they drove away.Chuuya waited a few moments,taking measured but larger than usual steps towards his bike.He glanced at the small wooded area off to the side of the actual road.

He threw his leg over and put the helmet back on.This way he’ll have a better chance of taking them by surprise. _

Dazai stared at the ocean,wanting to hurl.He hadn’t eaten anything bad,he was sure.There was no build up of vomit.

He just felt sick,but he didn’t know why.

“Dazai!Dazai are you even listening!?”Ranpo demanded

Dazai turned to him with an embarrassed smile.

“No,sorry.I was just thinking about how refreshing this water looks and -“ “Ugh,you’re so boring!It’s always suicide this and suicide that with you.Forget I asked.”he grumbled”When’s the cab coming?” “Twenty minutes or so.”

The detective lit up.

“Great,I’ll tell you how I cracked this Fyodor thing wide open,since you were talking with Four eyes the whole time.”

Dazai nodded and listened,stomach still uneasy when they got into the cab.

-

“Slumber of death to all ability users,for the resurrection of my beloved.” “You’re getting really fucking repetitive Hawthorne…”Chuuya panted

Damn bastard hooked the bike with his freaky blood tendrils…He really hated those things…At least with Rūyunosuke,Chuuya could afford a cut or two…These he couldn’t even touch…

He might as well have had Dazai glued to his back.

Nathaniel didn’t respond,sending another red string out,another strike landing harshly against the gravitational field around Chuuya’s body,actually working a grunt out of him.

Relentless bastard…How long could he keep this up?If his ability worked similarly to Akutagawa he should’ve been down for the count by now…But Chuuya didn’t even hear a single labored breath,Nathaniel’s ability still pushing against his own without stop.

Chuuya wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it.’Tainted’ was usually a breeze to use offensively,he’d just have to change the density of an object and let good aim do the rest but he was feeling every strike as if I it was landing against him…

He scoffed,a bit amused.He remembered Verlaine once told him not to rely on fields like this.He supposed he knew why now.It was fucking exhausting.

Chuuya looked at his bike,laying limply on the ground behind Nathaniel.The tires seemed good still.He just has to find a way to get to it…

Chuuya looked around them.They were in a small clearing yet were still surrounded by trees…

He took a deep breath and focused on the ground…This should be easy.Easier then breathing.And yet Chuuya wasn’t feeling it give him even an inch…Almost as the earth itself was resisting his ability.

“Come on…Come on….”

What was going wrong?

Chuuya’s eyes widened.

He’s not using his full strength.He has to dissolve the field…

Which was a terrible idea,dangerously stupid and should’ve never crossed his goddamn mind but…

He stretched his legs and sighed.

“One.Lift your foot.”he instructed to himself under his breath”Two.Hold it.”

He exhaled deeply.

“Three.Release.”

The field shattered as Chuuya brought his foot down with a loud crack.The ground fractured in a web of jagged lines,surrounding Nathaniel.Chuuya kicked into the air,sending the priest flying at what he was sure was a mocha speed.

Chuuya didn’t waste time waiting though.If this fucker could lift himself with his tendrils like Akutagawa could…He ran over to his bike panting still and turned the engine back on.The wind whipped past his face,Chuuya breathing a sigh of relief as he made it back out onto the main road.At 90 miles per hour he could probably-

Chuuya gasped as he felt a sharp pain in his side.He looked down,eyes wide in disbelief at the red stain beginning to form on his leather jacket.After eight years…A bullet had finally hit him…

First overall AU info post

Previous fic part <— Next fic part —>

[chloeangelic]

Pls write SUBJECT and description only sentences for a group orgy. You, me, & @toxicanonymity with my mm!joel.

Nice big group fuck. I feel like he needs this to boost his self esteem. And so help me god if you don’t fully direct every single thing that’s happening… 🫵🏼=👊🏼

I love you so fucking much

Hi Gracie, I hope this is sufficient.

Cheers, Chloe

Maintenance man!Joel group bang with special guests 

Pairing: @gracieispunk x @toxicanonymity x Chloe Angelic x maintenance man!Joel x Father Joel x Lincoln!Joel x f!reader 

Warnings: This is garbage just don't read it if you don’t wanna see a shitty blasphemous 6some, idk what to tell you anymore. I promise this is my second to last satire fic until I hit 2k.

Word count: 1k 18+ 

You’re hanging out with three of your friends; Toxic, Gracie, and Chloe. They are all giving you ideas for your fics. They all think you should write infidelity, you were thinking something more along the lines of fluffy flirting with your dad’s best friend. They think it might be a bit tame. Chloe thinks you should make him cry at some point in the fic, she's clearly in a bit of an angst phase. You think Toxic and Gracie are more fun.

Gracie downs the last of her wine and says “We’re all horny sluts and I have an idea”.  She goes over to her kitchen sink and yanks on it until it breaks. She picks up her phone and calls the maintenance man. That’s Joel Miller. She says “Joel, I know it’s ten PM but my sink broke because I am a little slut and I need you to come over and fix it or else I will report you to the building manager as being not very helpful to me, a damsel in distress”. She hangs up. 

Joel shows up wearing a tool belt and he is fully dressed in a flannel shirt, jeans and a wedding ring because he’s married. “Well, well, well” Gracie says and takes him by the hand to leads him into the living room where there is a massive California king bed. There’s also a stripper pole in the middle of the room, and now Chloe’s self indulgent fics about pole dancing make sense to you. 

Unfortunately, Gracie’s sink is indeed broken now so you all have to sit in silence and watch as maintenance man Joel huffs and puffs and fixes the sink. “I’m was planning on leavin' after this,” he says, “But now you’re all naked and annoying and my cock is hard again so I have no choice but to fuck all of you little sluts”. Everyone cheers and claps. You can’t believe it, you thought he only existed in Gracie’s fics and now you get to fuck him IRL. 

A shadow appears in the hallway. Toxic shouts, “Hey, get back to the brothel! You don’t belong in this crossover!”. The shadow is gone. You don’t know who it was, although Chloe says she hopes it was Lincoln Joel because he looks hot and she’s had a bit of a weird crush on him ever since she saw a fanart of him with slicked back hair and a white t-shirt, but he is ultimately very creepy so she doesn’t think that would be a great idea. However, maybe fucking him with supervision would be okay. You both mentally move on. 

Maintenance man Joel takes off his pants and his above average sized cock is on full display. All four of you take turns sucking and fucking him and the whole ordeal is pretty gross when you think about it since there is spit and cum everywhere. 

Maintenance man Joel is overwhelmed to say the least. He is watching Chloe stripping while fucking Gracie who is going down on Toxic while you ride her face. You didn’t think the logistics of this would work but here you are. 

There’s a knock on the door and a man comes in, announcing his presence. 

Oh no, it’s Father Joel. Chloe forgot she invited him over. 

“Damn it, Father Joel,” she says, “I forgot I invited you over and now we’re having a group fuck and we need an extra dick so maybe it’s convenient that you showed up cause you’re a corrupt freak with a massive cock”. 

Father Joel stands in the middle of the living room while Chloe takes a break to drink some water and he takes off his pants to reveal his absolutely enormous cock. Maintenance man Joel rolls his eyes; Toxic and Gracie are all very interested in Father Joel all of a sudden. Chloe thinks that this is her chance to finally eat her leftover gluten free lasagna and says “I hate Father Joel anyways so please take him” and he loves the attention. 

Gracie gets on her knees in front of Father Joel and says “Please, Father, give me that dick”. Then he slaps her on the face with his cock and gives her a communion cracker. It doesn’t taste like much. Then she sucks his dick. 

You get on maintenance man Joel’s lap and start bouncing on his cock and asking how to stop your closet doors from jumping out of their tracks. He starts explaining and it’s incredibly boring but useful information.

Chloe and Toxic are looking at each other like “What the fuck” and Toxic says “You know what? Fuck it, let’s get the party started” and takes her phone out of her pants on the floor and calls someone to come over. 

The door opens again. It’s Lincoln Joel. He’s wearing the white t-shirt. Chloe is nervous but horny. 

Toxic says “You’re welcome, he’s fucking creepy as hell and I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole but I understand that’s how you feel about Father Joel, it is what it is” then goes over to Gracie, who is now riding Father Joel’s face, and gets on his dick so that they are now having a threesome. Everyone is sucking and riding and moaning and sweating and they are definitely going to get a noise complaint. Maintenance man Joel says “What the hell have I gotten myself into here, I thought I was just messing around with one annoying tenant who keeps calling me and now I am watching a threesome with an ordained priest”. 

Chloe isn’t sure what to do, this doesn’t seem like Lincoln Joel’s scene. He says, “Chloe, there’s a priest here, I think it’s best if we get married before we do anything”. Chloe says ok. Father Joel recites the entire marriage speech that priests give and he says “You may now kiss the bride”. Lincoln kisses Chloe and they go to the bedroom. Then they fuck as well and she’s enjoying the thrill but is also a little bit concerned that she is now legally Catholically married to this old man. Whatever.

Maintenance man Joel blows his load inside you and says he has to go home. You both leave and listen to the wet slapping sounds of the Joels and writers who are still fucking and sucking and riding. He drives you home in his truck and says you never saw him in that sin filled establishment, do you understand?

[winmance]

In Your Defense - Chapter 8 (AO3)

Laurent is set to be released at four pm the next day and Damen is waiting outside at three, having no intention of being late. He barely slept last night, overwhelmed by the victory of the hearing, but also by the worries over Laurent’s reactions - or more precisely, his lack of it. It’s a bittersweet victory, which is not something he is used to.

The battle is still far from over, but he does find comfort in knowing that Laurent won’t have to spend all those months in jail, waiting for his trial. Auguste had spent one whole year in jail before the final verdict was pronounced. Laurent, who was still a minor back then, had been forbidden from seeing him or contacting him. That rule is still enforced, as it was extended until Laurent reached twenty. Damen had been the one proposing the deal, but he hadn’t been the one proposing the idea. It was Kastor, who claimed that Laurent, as a potential victim, needed time to heal away from his brother. It seemed like a good idea, back then, but now Damen wonders who’s idea this truly was.

He still hasn’t opened the box he found at Dad’s place. He had put it in the living room, at first, but it felt weird, illegal in some way. He kept thinking someone was going to come in and stole it from him. He put it in his bedroom, then, but he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing it, and he reluctantly hid it under his bed. Still, the box is here, and Damen, for some obscure reasons, is scared of it.

It’s snowing again today, but now the temperatures have truly dropped and despite his thick coat, Damen can’t help but shiver, his teeth clapping against each other with each step he takes. He isn’t made for those low temperatures.

When he goes inside, Laurent is already waiting for him, hands still handcuffed. When he recognizes Damen, the guard next to Laurent pulls on his handcuffs to motion him to move.

“Careful,” Damen warns.

The guard shoots him a weird look but doesn’t say anything. Damen follows them as they start to walk towards one of the rooms where Laurent will be giving some clothes before completing some admin tasks and finally, getting his electronic bracelet before freedom. It should take one hour, top, and after that Damen will drop him off to whatever address Laurent will give him. He wonders if Laurent is going back to his Uncle, or if he’s going to live off with a friend. Last week, he had asked to see the records of all the visits Laurent had while in jail, to see if maybe he could find someone that would be willing to make a testimony in his favor. The answer had come back not even ten minutes after: Laurent had 0 visitors, in the one month and a half he spent in jail. No. That wasn’t correct, actually. It was written that Laurent’s uncle had tried to come and see his nephew, but that Laurent had declined the offer.

“That’s not my clothes,” Laurent says.

“Your clothes are part of the investigation,” Damen explains.

“I have to wear this?”

The clothes Laurent is holding are way too big for him, Damen can already tell, and their colors are more than questionable. Granted, he had known that they wouldn’t give Laurent fresh, new clothes, but they could at least wash them.

“Or you can go back to jail. Your choice,” the guard says.

Laurent makes a face and takes the clothes from the guard’s hands.

“Where can I change?

“Here, pretty. There’s no privacy in jail, you should know that by now,” the guard winks in Damen’s direction. “Give us a little show, while you’re at it.”

The guard looks at Laurent up and down, and Damen feels his blood boiling under his skin. Laurent is about to start undressing, but he puts his hand on top of his to stop him.

“He’s not changing here. There’s a bathroom down the wall, he’ll use it.”

“That’s not the protocol.”

“Did I ask?” Damen says harshly. “Laurent, you can go to the bathroom. You have five minutes.”

Laurent waits an instant before moving and when he finally does, he has a smirk on his face. The guard, who Damen didn’t even bother to remember the name, looks infuriated. Good, Damen thinks.

“Do you know who my dad is?” Damen asks.

“No, and I don’t-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence. I’m going to make it clear: talk to him like that just one more time, and I’ll make you lose your job. Am I being clear?”

When Laurent comes back, he’s wearing clothes that are big enough to fit two of him in it, and that are way too thin for the season. Damen tries to rationalize that it’s only for a short amount of time, before Laurent is back to his place and can get some nice, fitting clothes.

The now quiet guard moves on to the rest of the procedure and gives Laurent a form to fill. On it, are basic information, such as his name, age, nationality, address, phone number, etc. On the second page, are lists all the conditions to Laurent’s temporary freedom, a bunch of rules that he will have to follow closely if he wants to stay outside. It includes no use of drugs or alcohol, no communication with the persons involved in the case, meeting with an officer, and on, and on. So many rules that seem pointless, but that Laurent will have to memorize.

“Why do they need my phone number?”

“They will send you a text every now and then to give you an update about your meeting with your parole officer.”

“But I don’t have a phone anymore.”

“Did they forget to give it back?”

Laurent’s pink tongue escapes his mouth to lick his lips and Damen follows the movement.

“I threw it away so they couldn’t track me when I was with Nicaise.”

“Put mine. I’ll give you all the info.”

He gives his number to Laurent, who carefully writes it down before proceeding to continue his reading. After a while without writing, Damen notices Laurent looks hesitant, as if he isn’t sure of what to put down. The information that is asked is pretty basic, and so he walks over and gets closer to him, until he’s so close that he can feel the body heat emanating from Laurent. When Damen speaks, his voice is barely a whisper and he gets even closer, just to make sure that Laurent can in fact hear him.

“Do you need my help?”

“I know how to write and read, thank you.”

Laurent moves away from him and quickly fills up the form. He handles it to the guard and moves to the next station. Electronic bracelet.

“Right leg,” the man orders.

“Would you rather have it on the other side?” Damen asks. He thinks back of the video of Laurent’s injury, the way his right ankle had cracked.

“No.”

Laurent lifts his leg so that the man can put the electronic device on it. His skin is pale here, too, and he barely has any hair or if he does, they’re so blonde that Damen can’t see them. The scar is still red, despite all the years that have passed, which tells Damen that the injury wasn’t treated properly.

“Are you popping a boner by looking at my ankle? What century is this?”

Laurent’s eyebrows are up and although he’s trying to be provocative, his cheeks are slightly pink, as well as the tip of his nose. He looks like a doll. Damen looks away.

The guard proceeds to explain all the details of Laurent's “freedom”, and this time Laurent listens carefully. If he misses any of his appointments, he’s facing going right back to jail and this time, Damen won’t be able to get him out. Once it’s finally all done, they’re being walked to the door and when Damen opens it for them, Laurent stops.

“We have time,” Damen says.

“Speak for yourself,” Laurent mumbles.

Then he starts walking without slowing down and once he’s out, he stops again and lifts his head, eyes closed. The cold snow is falling on his face, on his pale eyelid, and on his still visible injuries. His chest rises and falls slowly, each one of his breaths a new memory being created. Damen watches without a sound, the coldness from earlier a long time gone. He wonders, suddenly, if Laurent misses figure skating.

“We should go,” he says after a while. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay there without a coat on.”

“Yes,” Laurent says.

They walk to Damen’s car who, thankfully, isn’t parked too far from the entrance. As soon as they’re inside, Damen starts the car and puts the heat on maximum. Laurent, who’s wearing nothing but an old thin sweater, looks unbothered.

“Do we need a GPS?” Damen asks.

“No, I know how to get there. I’ll give you indications.”

He starts driving, following Laurent instructions closely. He makes a mental note to check the adresse once he will have dropped Laurent. They will send him the form he filled up earlier, but he doesn’t have a good feeling about this and suspects Laurent has put a false address. It’s not that he doesn’t trust him - it’s that Laurent doesn’t trust anyone. Not yet.

“Thank you, by the way,” Laurent says after half an hour of driving.

“Can you be more precise?”

“For putting the guard back to his place.”

Damen turns to look at Laurent, who’s rubbing his wrists tenderly, his eyes fixed on the road. He has red marks on his skin from wearing the handcuffs.

“Of course. He was such an asshole. We should make a report on his behavior. I was with you, but what if he does that again to someone else?”

“I suppose you could, yes.”

“Why couldn’t you?”

“Men like that are protected. You can’t go against them if you don’t have any back up.”

“I disagree. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Ask Auguste, next time you see him,” Laurent says, before quickly adding. “Slow down, we’re almost there.”

It’s a part of town Damen only knows by name, due to its bad reputation. There’s no restaurant, no companies, not even a school around here. Unfortunately, poverty is often linked to violence and in this town, it’s hard to say which of the two is more predominant.

“Are you getting scared for your car?” Laurent teases him.

“I don’t care much about my car.”

“Really? I thought you were a fan too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Daddy and big bro are fans of cars, are they’re not?”

Damen frowns and looks at Laurent. He can’t read the expression on his face.

“How do you know that?”

“Read it in an article.”

“Do you keep track of everything my family does?”

“It’s here,” Laurent says, pointing to one of the buildings.

The question is left hanging, but Damen quickly forgets about it once he sees the building Laurent is pointing at. It’s a miracle the place is still standing, with how old and dilapidated it is. Damen thinks it may have been an old factory. He can read “Safe Harbor”, in red, almost wash-out painting, on the front of the building. They are tents in the street, with a concentration around the building, and when the realization sticks down, Damen feels his heart dropping to his stomach.

“It’s a shelter.”

“I called before. They said I could come.”

“But it’s a shelter,” Damen says again, unable to understand it.

“Did you hit your head? You keep repeating the same stuff.”

“I thought you would be going to your uncle’s house.”

“I’d rather die.”

The look Laurent gives him is enough to make Damen avert his gaze. Laurent opens the door and steps outside. He doesn’t have a coat on and now Damen knows he won’t have one tomorrow either.

“I’ll stop by your office on Monday if that’s good for you.”

“Sure.”

It isn’t good, obviously. Erasmus can’t know that Damen is helping Laurent, or at least not now, when so many questions are left hanging, but Damen can’t make a full sentence, his mouth refusing to work properly. He will deal with it later, he decides. He knows where Laurent is, he can always drop by if needed, which is great because Laurent doesn’t have a phone. He can’t text him, can’t call him. If he’s in danger or hurt, Laurent will have to rely on his voice to get help. Damen won’t know it, unless a hospital or police trip is needed, in which case Laurent may be facing jail again, even if he’s the victim.

But Laurent is already inside the building, away from Damen’s peripheral vision. Monday. They will see each other on Monday. He starts the car again and drives to his apartment.

Damen isn’t ashamed to say that he was born and raised in a rich family. His parents owned several properties. His great, great grandfather started his own law firm more than one century ago now, and since then, the firm had done nothing but grow, becoming closer to an empire than a family business like it once was. Damen went into a private daycare, then a private school, then to the best university in the whole country. He studied abroad, too, and did his internship in some of the biggest companies in the world. He never experienced hunger. Never experienced limitations. If he wanted a new car, his dad would get it for him. If he wanted a private jet to take his girlfriend of the week to France, all he had to do was send a text.

Laurent’s family used to be like that, too, and he knows Laurent's childhood was rocked by money and fame. From the moment he was born, Laurent has been a star, idolized by millions. Damen has found articles with Laurent, barely three months old, in a trophy his mother won. She didn’t stop figure skating when she was pregnant with him. Damen himself was too young to be aware of it back then, but there are many articles about the scandal that emanated from it. She was refused participation in the competition, yet she continued to train, day after day. There’s no question about who Laurent gets his behavior from.

Now, Laurent sleeps in a shelter, in clothes that don’t belong to him, with nothing to call him, not even a coat to put on his shoulders. It doesn’t make sense. Laurent’s parents are dead and with Auguste in jail, the sole heir is Laurent. How come Damen never questioned it? Laurent had called him, of all people, to ask for help because he had no money to pay for another lawyer, and Damen had agreed without asking any questions. He had been so caught up with Auguste's potential innocence that he had forgotten to do his job properly. Dad would slap him behind the head, if he knew.

The cat is still hiding when Damen comes home, yet his bowl of food is a bit emptier. Not empty, because his cat apparently doesn’t like to eat, even though Damen paid $50 for one bag of dry food.

He gets on with his usual routine: he goes for a run for one hour, until his lungs are burning and his nose is so red he can’t feel it anymore, then he takes a too long shower, during which he tries to keep his mind occupied and away from Laurent. It doesn’t work. When he takes his clothes off, he wonders if Laurent has been given new, clean and warm clothes. His shower is big enough to fit three people at least and he lets the cold water run off before entering it. He doesn’t know if they have functioning showers at the shelter, and if they do, if they’re lucky enough to be able to use hot water. He imagines it to be like in jail: a community bathroom, where Laurent can trip over again and burst his face open. A part of him hopes he’s just too rich to know exactly how a shelter runs. Another part of him thinks that what he imagines may be better than the reality of it.

After his shower is over, he goes straight to the living room and sits on the couch, remote in hand. He scrolls through Netflix, trying to find something to watch, but he gets bored with each movie he starts playing. He doesn’t feel like watching a Christmas movie, and even less a horror one. Do they have TV, at the shelter? In jail, they have one, Damen knows that. It’s an old TV, with only a few movies and channels available. He has trouble imagining Laurent sitting down in a room full of people, inmates or not, to watch a movie. He seems more like the type to read a book, alone in a room, with a cat on his lap. Well, not Damen’s cat, obviously, since the little monster still refuses to even let Damen approach him.

“I should find you a name,” Damen says aloud. The cat doesn’t answer.

It’s already eleven when Damen decides to move to his bedroom. The TV is boring and his mind is too busy to focus, sleep is the last resort to try to find peace.

Sleep doesn’t come.

Damen closes his eyes but it physically hurts to do so. He opens them again. He’s surrounded by darkness and can’t even see his own hands. He can only feel his own touch and listen to his own heartbeat. Sometimes, he wishes there was someone next to him, a person he could reach to, a waist he could touch, a voice he could hear. Jokaste was there, not so long ago, yet she feels like a distant memory. She hated to be held during her sleep. If Damen couldn’t sleep, she would tell him to go into one of the guest rooms. But back then, Damen was working so many hours that sleep wasn’t an issue. He would come home and be so exhausted that it took him less than five minutes to fall asleep. His mind was never racing like that either. Sure, he had some complex and difficult cases over the years, including some involving his dad’s friends, or even his own a couple of times. None of them were sleeping in a shelter. None of them had to stay in jail for more than a couple of hours. None of them were Laurent.

It’s one in the morning when he gets out of bed. He tells himself he’s just going for a ride to clear his head, because that is the truth. He just needs to be out, to turn his brain off. To think of something that isn’t Laurent sleeping in a shelter. Is it safe, in those places? Can Laurent fall asleep without worrying about someone trying to rob him? It’s a stupid thought. Laurent doesn’t have anything worth stealing. Damen’s stomach clenches. Is a shelter better than jail?

He gets into his car and starts driving.

Dad used to do that, sometimes. He would wake up during the night and drive for hours, with no destination in mind. Night run , he used to call them. Mom had already been dead when he started doing this, and Damen always wondered if his dad had come up with this night routine after she died or if it was something he used to do before, but stopped because spending time with mom was more important to him than running away into the night. He never asked dad and instead, every time, he would watch his dad leave the house at random hours of the night, only to come back when the sun was already starting to rise.

He had asked dad, once, where he was doing during all those hours by himself. He had thought that maybe dad was visiting a woman at first, but back then Damen was already fifteen and the number of women that had come to their house proved that dad didn’t feel the need to hide.

I’m visiting memories, Dad had said.

Damen drives to his dad’s house, first. Through one of the windows, he can see that the light is still on in his dad’s bedroom. What would dad do, if Damen stopped his car and went knocking on his door? Would he let him in? Would he be worried, just for a second, that something had happened?

He continues to drive.

The graveyard is only twenty minutes away from their house. At mom’s funeral, her sister had cried and begged his dad to let her take her sister’s back to their homeland. Their parents were dead, too, and they were waiting to reunite with their daughter. Damen was barely five when his mom died, and the day of her funeral is nothing but a blurry souvenir, and yet he remembers this woman, an aunt that he had only seen twice in his life, begging through her tears to take her little sister’s home. She would have wanted to be with her family , she had said, and Dad had replied, She wanted to be with me, alive or dead. Damen had started crying, after this, and Dad had to ask one of the nannies to take him away. He thought mom would have wanted to be with him, more than with anyone else. She had carried him in her womb for nine months, and had gone through the extreme pain of childbirth for him. She had called for him, in her final moment. Not for dad. Not for her parents. Not for her sister. For him.

He may not be able to see her face in his mind, or to hear her voice in his ears, but Damen can still feel her love, even so many years after she’s been gone. Mom had loved him unconditionally.

His drive takes him in front of Kastor’s house, but he doesn’t slow down. He doesn’t want to know if his brother is here, and even less if Jokaste is here, too. He thinks of Laurent, who drove for hours to get to his brother’s jail, even though he couldn’t even get close enough to see the building. Laurent, who adores his brother so much that, despite everything that Auguste has done, is still willing to fight for him. He thinks of the two brothers, who haven’t seen or talked to each other in years.

Without meaning to, he ends up in the same street he was this afternoon.

The street is dark, the ground covered by thick, white snow. There is no light in the shelter, and for a moment, he imagines Laurent inside, sleeping in a warm bed with his belly full.

But Laurent is here. Sitting outside, with his head against the wall, his eyes closed. The snow is falling on his face but he doesn’t seem to notice or to care.

He stops his car and opens his window, but no words come out of his mouth. He doesn’t know what to say and so he stares at Laurent, eyes closed under the snow, his lips blue and his body shaking. He was someone's baby, one day. His parents must have been excited to meet him, they probably made so many wishes for him, for what his life would be. Surely, they wanted him to be loved and warmed, safe and happy. It feels suddenly so unfair for Laurent to have suffered this much - to still suffer like this. Laurent, his cat, him, it’s all the same stories. Because no one loves them anymore, they deserve less. Because they’re no one's baby anymore, they’re left to die in the cold, alone and unwanted.

“I’m not for sale,” Laurent says without opening his eyes.

“Well I am working free of charge, am I not?”

Laurent’s blue eyes opened up, just for a second, but he closed them back almost immediately and put his head back against the cold wall behind him.

“Is it comfortable?” Damen asks.

“Very. Do you stalk all your clients like that?”

“Only the ones that are in dangerous situations.”

“I am not.”

It’s three am. There’s still at least five hours before the sun gets up and even then, the weather won’t be nicer. People will start coming in the street, through, and Laurent will be here, half asleep, completely alone and vulnerable.

“You said you called,” Damen says after a while.

“I did.”

“Then what are you doing outside, in the middle of the night?”

“There’s no more room. They said I could still put the address on my record and sleep outside.”

“How is that allowed? You can’t just let someone sleep outside in this weather. That’s insane.”

Laurent doesn’t answer.

“Come,” Damen says.

Laurent opens his eyes again and this time, he stares at Damen for a long moment. He’s still not moving and Damen isn’t sure if it’s because he doesn’t want to, or if his body has been crushed by all the snow on top of it. But then, very slowly, Laurent gets up and makes his way forwards to the car. Damen unlocks the doors and once Laurent is set up, he starts driving.

It feels like an out of body experience. He’s driving the car on autopilot, pushing away all the thoughts that are rushing in his mind. He could lose his license for this and by cascade, he could lose his family’s firm. He wouldn’t be a lawyer anymore and somehow, the idea doesn’t scare him. There’s a feeling of relief, somewhere in his body, and then of immense guilt once he realizes it.

Next to him, Laurent is still shaking. His hands are a weird shade of white and red, yet he doesn’t seem able to do much about it. His head is against the window and he’s trying his hardest not to close his eyes.

The light is red. Damen puts the heat on maximum, takes his coat off and puts it on Laurent.

The light is green. They’re moving again, in silence. It’s not uncomfortable. It’s something, but Damen can’t put his finger on it.

Once they’ve reached his apartment, he parks his car and turns the engine off. Without the constant movement of the vehicle, reality comes crashing down and it takes several seconds for Damen to remember how to move. When he does, he opens his door without a word and waits for Laurent to follow him, which he does reluctantly.

One turn of the key, then two and they’re in his apartment. Damen doesn’t turn to look at Laurent. If he doesn’t look, he can convince himself that all of this is in his head.

“Sit wherever you want,” he tells Laurent, while walking into the kitchen.

Once he’s alone there, he goes straight to the sink and drinks directly from it. Maybe Ancel has been right all this time and Damen is truly losing his mind after all. There’s no other explanation.

He walks back in the living room and finds Laurent standing in front of the door, back against it. Damen frowns. They’ve barely arrived, he can’t possibly want to leave already?

“My clothes are soaked,” Laurent finally says. “Even my socks. I’m going to ruin your apartment if I move.”

“I don’t care,” Damen says too fast. “I’ll give you some clothes. You can take a shower, if you want. That will help you warm up.”

Laurent nods and quietly follows Damen to the bathroom. He’s aware he should be giving him some kind of tour of the apartment, but it’s well past three now, they still haven’t slept and the weight of the day is crushing him down. He wants to lay down and close his eyes, to forget just for a moment in what a fucking mess he just put himself into.

“I’ll leave the clothes right here,” he says, pointing to the buffet in the hallway. “You can use all the products you want. The towels are under the sink.”

Laurent nods again, not a sound leaving his throat, and it feels like looking at a scared child, who any moment from now will start crying. The contrast with the man Damen has been getting to know those past few weeks is undeniable.

Laurent goes into the bathroom and locks the door after himself.

Damen starts cleaning the floor, where Laurent has left a puddle of water with every step he takes, and once he’s done, he moves to the guest room. It’s been months since he had someone sleep at his place, but lucky for him, it had been Ancel, and his friend had decided to « redo » the room during his stay there. They weren’t particularly close by then, yet Ancel took everything that looked like a souvenir from Jokaste and put it in the bin. He hadn’t even asked Damen before doing so, but he didn't mind one bit, quite the opposite. He’s especially thankful today. He wouldn’t have wanted Laurent to see pictures of Jokaste displayed in the room.

He puts on new bed coverings, checks there isn’t any dust left on the furniture and puts the heater a bit higher. He goes back to his room and takes the first pair of clothes he can find without checking them first. He doesn’t want to choose what Laurent will be wearing. He doesn’t want to think of Laurent wearing his clothes.

When he walks past the bathroom again, he can still hear the shower running.

The cat is under the couch, as usual, but Damen still takes the time to greet him. The cat doesn’t do so much as spare him a second look, not that Damen had expected anything else from him.

He should be preparing to go to sleep, but he can’t do so until Laurent is out of the shower and he’s also aware that there’s a good possibility that Laurent didn’t eat tonight. Damen himself didn’t.

He doesn’t know what Laurent likes and at this hour of the night, only a few fast food restaurants are still open, all the restaurants having long been closed. Still, he orders enough food to feed the whole building, just to make sure that Laurent will find his happiness.

The door rings just five minutes before Laurent appears in the living room. He’s wearing Damen’s favorite hoodie and one of his sweatpants. Both are way too big for him and while it should be ridiculous, it is quite the opposite. For the first time, Laurent looks comfortable, refreshed. Damen wants to make him lay down before rolling him like a burrito inside the cover.

“How was the shower?”

“Adequate.”

“Cool. I ordered food.”

Laurent smiles, shy and a bit embarrassed.

“I can see that, yes. Do I… I don’t have money.”

“Really? I thought you were sleeping in the street willingly.”

“Funny.”

Laurent rolls his eyes, yet when Damen offers him to sit on the couch, he does so, bringing his knees as close as possible to his chest. The situation is weird, there’s no denying it, but it’s already early morning, and Damen thinks that it can wait until tomorrow. There’s a storm coming, he can feel it deep in his bones, the same way he can feel that he has taken a decision that will change the course of his life. Yet, Laurent is safe and warm, his belly will soon be full and for the moment, that’s all that matters.

[hippiemisfit]

Hush (J.K.) 3

*banner made by me

Chapter Three- Police

pairing: jungkook x oc reader

word count: 1,591

warnings: mentions of death, intimidation, fear, manipulaiton, scary jk

-----------------------------------------------

He pulled me all the way back to my house and threw me on the ground next to the box. "Now we are going to try this again and this time you are going to do as I say. Or next time I won't be as nice."

I nodded my head and tried to grab the box. "Why did you kill him?" I asked. 

I was met with no response but I know he heard me.

Ugh whatever.

After struggling for what seemed like 30 minutes, I was finally able to lift the box with all my might. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it for long so I sped walk over to Carter's house and sat the box on his doorsteps.

I already feeling for the poor soul who was going to open it, either his mom or dad or worse Carter. I bet their reaction would be no different than mine. 

I walked back to my house and of course the hoodie figure, I got to give him a name, was gone. I heard a car come around the corner and saw that it was Carter's. I ran inside and closed the door peeking outside the window.

I watched Carter get out the car, reach into the back to get his shoes, and head to the front door. He looked down at the box and tilted his head to the side.

He bent down to open it and I dreaded watching him open it. I wanted to look away but I couldn't find it in me to. He slowly lifted the tops of the box and when it dawned on him what was inside, he turned and puked all over their grass. Once he was done emptying the contents of his stomach, he dropped his shoes and ran inside.

I quickly shut the blinds and fell down on the floor, tears streaming down my face. I can't believe that I helped cause him so much pain. I should've just called the police but I was given no choice and now that I have helped moved the box, does that make me an accomplice?

My mind raced as my inner monologue screamed at me to get up off of the floor but I couldn't bring myself to.  

.............................................

I guess I fell asleep on the floor because when I woke up it was getting dark outside. I got up off the floor and looked outside to see a couple of police cars sitting outside Carter's house. I see they called them. I saw two police officers walk out of their house and head towards mine.

Shit what do they want?

They knocked on the door,"Hello. Ms. Mahj is it. Can you open the door and let us in? We just have a few questions."

Ugh, just breathe in and out. They don't know that you moved the box. Just open the door.

I opened the door and let them in, leading them to the dining table.

"Where are your parents Mahj?" one of them asked as they sat down.

"They are out of town right now, they'll be back on Monday. Um do you guys want anything to drink?" I asked shifting back and forth on my feet, my nerves not letting me take a seat just yet.

"No thanks," the other one said. I nodded and sat down across from them.

"My name is officer Briggs and this is my partner officer Flanningan, we just have a few questions and then we'll be on our way," I nodded in understanding.

"Ok," he said pulling out a notepad," first question where were you between the hours of 10 pm and 12 am last night?"

"I was here last night," I said.

"Do you have anyone who can confirm that?" I shook my head. I saw him jot something down.

"Ok. Do you know anyone who would have something against your neighbor?"

"Which neighbor?" Yeah, you ain't about to trick me.

"Conner, he was found dead this afternoon. He body was cut up and put into a box."

"Wow um no I can't think of anyone who had something against him. You know other than the silent killer, you know he just goes around killing people for no reason. I mean he probably doesn't even know him and just decided to kill him anyway. I mean I don't know," I rambled out, wringing my hands together.

The cops looked at each other and then back at me," Um, ooook. Miss, we're going to have to ask you to come down to the station for further questioning. It seems you know more than you let on," they got up from their seats," Let's go."

I got up and followed them to the door, but stopped. "Hold on, can I put some food in my dog's bowl. I don't know how long we're going to be."

They nodded their heads and I went to the pantry and opened it. I looked down to get his kibble when I saw a pair of black shoes right beside it.

I slowly rose my head up and came face to darkness with the man who was currently ruining my life. I went to scream when his gloved hand covered my mouth and pulled me in the closet, shutting the door.

"I see that you don't do well under pressure. That's something I see we are going to have to work on. Now you've got two options. The first one is that I go out there and deal with those two officers who probably suspect you of murder.

Option number two is that you go out there and leave with them. But let's just say I'd advise you to take option number one.

I don't really think you'll like what you see as a consequence of your actions, even though for me it'll be very enjoyable. Trust me. Now I'm going to remove my hand from your mouth. The only thing you need to say is the option you are choosing ok."

I nodded my head in understanding. He moved his hand from my mouth and I reached down to grab Poco's food.

I turned and opened the door and whispered back," I guess I'll take my chances with option number two."

I walked out and closed the door. I put food in Poco's bowl and went with the police officers outside.

They escorted me to their car and I got in the back. I looked back at my house and I could see hoodie face staring at me through the window. Damn and I just left Poco in there with him.

..................................................

When we got to the precinct they took me into one of the interrogation rooms and left me by myself. You know the one with the one way mirror. The two officers came in and sat down, and one of them placed a tape recorder down on the table.

"Now Mahj, we're just going to ask you a few more questions and if you answer them truthfully we are going to let you go. If we feel like you are lying then we're going to ask you more questions until you tell us the truth. OK?"

I nodded my head.

"Ok well let's get started. When we were back at your house you said something about the Silent Killer. Now were you trying to say that he was the one who killed Conner?"

I nodded my head," Yes that's what I was trying to say."

He nodded his head and turned to look at Flannigan," Ok and how do you know this?"

"He told me."

His eyes bugged out," He told you? That means that you've been in contact with a serial killer. How long has he been contacting you?"

"Since last night and then again this morning, oh and he was also there before we left. He was hiding in the closet."

"He was in the house?!" Officer Flannigan asked.

"Yep."

"And you didn't say anything to us because?"

"He told me not to and I knew that I would be safe if I came with you two. I don't know why but he's obsessed with me for some reason. I don'-" the lights started to flicker.

Next thing I know both of the officers are convulsing on the ground. I raced over to their sides and started to bang on the glass. "Hey! We need help in here! I don't know what is wrong with them!" I yelled.

Nothing happened. "Hey! Is anyone even in there?!" I heard the chairs scrape behind me so I turned around to see both of the officers sitting back in their chairs.

Officer Briggs turned his head to face me,"If you are done banging on the glass, can you retake your seat." I looked at him like he was crazy. "Wait weren't you just- I know you were- am I going crazy?" I asked rubbing my hand across my forehead and headed back to my seat.

There was something off about the two of them. Like they weren't themselves.

"Ok Mahj, next question. Do you enjoy pissing people off or is it something you just do because you can't help it?"

My eyes widened,"What?"

He leaned closer to me and said,"Do you enjoy pissing people off or is it something you just do because you can't help it?" but this time he said it like I was a little kid and he was trying to explain something to me.

"Why are you asking me this?" I asked leaning back in my chair.

"I gave you two options and I told you that you wouldn't like the consequences if you chose the wrong one," he put his head in his hands,"So here we are," I saw a glint of green in his eyes,"let's have some fun."

[jmagnabo92]

PM - April 28 - 59 - Guidance

@prongsfoot-microfic

When James’ parents catch them in a not-so-innocent situation, they decide that the boys need parental guidance - Particularly Sirius.

AO3

***

“I just think that he needs some guidance in his life,” Effie says, jarring Sirius’ attention from his crossword puzzle.  He and James had been put in ‘time out’ (from each other) for the rest of the day ever since Effie and Monty Potter had caught them in James’ room having not-so-innocent fun.  

He’d been worried that they would kick him out – and considering his runaway status, he didn’t exactly have many choices on where he could go.  Thus, sitting here, a distance away from James since they literally used a spell to keep them apart as punishment and worrying that he might never get to be with him, again.

“I know, Effie, all I’m saying is that I’m not sure how to guide him,” Monty says.  “I was never – we didn’t…”

“Explore?” Effie questions.  “Things were different in our time.  There’s nothing wrong with it – we just need to guide them – especially Sirius.  Do you think the Blacks bothered to talk him through things?”

Monty groans.  “I don’t think that I could get through such an awkward conversation – especially… with the fact that he and James are already…”

Effie gives him a look.  “It’s our responsibility to make sure they’re both aware of the repercussions and to guide them into making the right choices – which include being careful about fooling around.”

“It’s just awkward.”

“Yes, well, it’s not just the fooling around – he’s been getting into all sorts of trouble at the school, running away…”

“Which brings us back to guidance…”

“He needs a good male role model.  Take him out, talk to him – help him realize that he’s got to grow up.”

“Alright – alright, I will.”

***

Sirius could admit that he probably needed some guidance in his life, but the awkwardness of the day with Monty would not leave his mind, especially when all he could think about was the scene that Effie and Monty had walked in on.  

Unfortunately, he couldn’t talk about it with James because they put spells on their bedroom doors to prevent another incident.  Seriously, they were practically adults – it feels all sorts of unnecessary.  

Annoyed, he grabs his mirror, “James!”

“Sirius?” James asks, as he appears in the mirror.  “I thought we were sleeping?”

“I can’t sleep – there’s all sort of awkwardness today.”

“My parents love you – yeah, it’s weird, but I promise that they’ll get over it.”

“That’s not – your dad wants to be a good role model for me and that’s weird.”

“It’ll blow over – just like the whole spells on our doors thing will blow over.”  

“I don’t know about that – the talk he gave me today about … all that … was rather – in depth.”

James laughs.  “Yeah, I know – I’ve heard it.  Look, mum and dad are just trying to do right by you since you ran away – and you can’t deny that you don’t need some parental guidance.”

“Their parental guidance is only somewhat appreciated – I’d appreciate it more if I could be laying next to you right now.”

James grins.  “Don’t worry – in a month we’ll be back at Hogwarts, and no one will keep us apart for our own good.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“Which is what we should be doing,” James reminds him.  “Night, Si.”

“Night, Jay.”

With that the mirror goes blank and Sirius is left feeling somewhat better.  Maybe the Potters were right and if they weren’t – well, it was only another month until he’d have unfettered access to James whenever he wants.  With that lovely thought, he drifts off to sleep dreaming of all of the chaos he and James’ll get into together once they’re back at Hogwarts.

[tunabesimpin]

Hi Tuna! Congrats on getting 800 followers and kudos to you for taking on this big milestone project!

That said, mind if I submit my Yuusona for this?

She hasn't gone to the beach in years, but the last time she went, she and her dad collected sea shells, looked for sea critters on the rocks and in the water, and let the waves hit their legs as they stood still.

At the party, Yuu plans to collect seashells and look for sea critters, but may pause to try to play volley ball and is willing to join a water fight. The thing they won't do if they had a choice is go swimming--they just don't like swimming in the ocean.

Their favorite color is honey yellow. They're going to be bringing a canvas bag holding sunscreen, sandals, and a bottle of water and they'll be carrying a body towel.

Yuu will be bringing along their sentient teddy bear and Grim. The teddy is especially excited to look for sea shells and maybe cool rocks (and Yuu is going to have to make sure it doesn't pick up a crab or get swept away by the waves. . . oh nelly). Yuu managed to convince Grim to come along by saying it wouldn't be a great party without him and it wouldn't feel complete if it was just her and the teddy. . . and also he'd be missing out on the food (lol).

Bo y howdy. I don't want to make this longer than it already is (plus Tumblr doesn't allow links to be shared while anonymous)--would it be cool if I sent the references through PM?

(btw this is yuus-sentient-teddy, but I'm following you under a different blog--I can let you know through PM which one it is!)

---

When Yuu wanted to go shell collecting, they didn't expect Grim to take it to extremes like he did. To be fair though, when has Grim ever not been rambunctious? Yuu, Teddy and Grim were all collecting shells together and at some point Grim made it into a contest to see who could have the bigger pile of treasure.

Yuu could only sigh seeing the mighty Grim run amuck on the beach search for the best of the best shells. Turning back to the selection of shells Teddy had been collecting, Yuu carefully examined each one. The vibrant colors were stunning. Teddy had outdone himself in his search. Yuu smiled and pulled one her own shells out, a large clam shell adorned with a red and white marble appearance. She held it out to teddy and pointed to one of his shells for a trade. Teddy gave a pleasant look and handed Yuu the shell they picked out.

It was a tender display, but that only lasted a moment as Grim came bouncing back. "NYAHAHA FEAST YOUR EYES!" Grim plopped a conch shell atop his pile of treasure, popping shells below out from the pile. It was quite the sight to find a conch in such good condition. Yuu and Teddy awed over the mighty Grims find, that was until a certain uncanny eel began to make way over the horizon.

Jade was quickly catching up to Grim, his signature closed mouth smile plastered on his face "Oh Grim surely you were going to repay me for my hard work getting that conch shell weren't you?" Yuu eyed the now cowering cat monster behind her, 'Grim what have you gotten us into this time...'

---

Thank you thank you!!!! I was so excited to have a more Grim& Yuu centric story this time! Your Yuu and the teddy is so cute. I hope you can enjoy this!

[frogwithhatto]

Froggo!! Can you post some domestic Vessel headcannons? Like what he would be like if you two were living together or something like that 🥺 (or just whatever you feel like!!)

Domestic Vessel

Pairing: Vesselxgn!reader

Summary: What it would be like to live with Vessel. It’s just a bunch of fluffy headcanons tbh.

Tw: none ?

Notes: This was literally written yesterday night and I only proofread it once bc I got so excited so I hope there aren’t any mistakes! Thank you for the request anon I loved the idea!!

- He’s not that good at cooking but he will try to make fancier stuff for you every now and then. He definitely taught himself how to make your favourite and your comfort food. Most of the time you two would cook together probably listening to some music while doing so. Get ready for silly dances and hopping around the kitchen with him but also if there’s a romantic song playing he would definitely slow dance with you.

- We know Vessel is a little science nerd so get ready to watch documentaries with him for hours! He definitely loves the serious super interesting ones but oh boy he’s a sucker for the trashy alien and/or gold digger ones. You know those really bad ones that never get to the point? Because those can get hard to watch you two would play Uno while watching!

- I also feel like he loves reading so get ready for sitting next to each other on your couch/bed your legs crossed over his lap sharing a blanket while either both of you read or he reads and you play nintendo (or whatever you like)

- If you’re not that big of a reader (or if you’re tired) he would definitely read his book to you. Like imagine you having your head in his lap as he makes funny voices for the different characters? He would be so cute!

- You’re the first to hear new lyrics and song ideas! „babe? Quick tell me if this slaps.“ (proceeds to play the most random thing you’ve ever heard but it does in fact go hard) He would also play guitar/piano for you if you asked him to. He definitely has recorded you a cover of your favourite song or even written you a song for a special occasion before

- He’s bath guy because I said so. He will bathe at least once a week if not more and he will ask you to join him not in a sexual way but more in a „let me wash your hair for you“ kinda way. If he has a bad day you would draw him a bath making sure to use his favourite bath salt and pick one of your oversized hoodies out for him to wear after it.

- Vessel is a big my clothes are yours and your clothes are mine guy. Will steal your hoodies, shirts and even jewellery.

- On the other hand if you had a bad day get ready for some cuddles and a comfort movie/show of your choice. (If you want to be alone he’s also very understanding but he will check on you from time to time asking if you need anything.)

- Lazy Sundays with Vessel would include sleeping in and after waking up you would start off the day by cuddling for as long as you wanted to. At some point you two would get up to make breakfast together and after it you either go straight to bed again to catch up on a show you’re watching or you get ready to go out (if you’ve made plans to go somewhere)

- „You wanna go take a walk in the woods??“ „Vessel it’s 10 pm… it’s super dark, cold and isn’t it raining outside?“

- He will leave notes for you around the apartment if he knows you will be home before he is. A little „I love you“ with squiggly hearts around it sticking on the fridge or maybe a random dad joke with a doodle on your dresser to make you smile.

- He will definitely send you postcards when he’s touring! Sometimes letters as well he’s a hopeless romantic which include the most random stuff. „The logo on this tag reminded me of you.“ „I thought you would like this flower I picked and pressed for you.“ You definitely keep everything he sends you though. Sometimes the letters will also include Polaroids of him and the other Vessels! (Maybe even a picture II took of him when he was writing said letter)

[anthroparis]

ok so I made this list thinking about how I acted in high school (very edgy and a hater) and what my dynamic would've been like with each of these individual people at that time in my life. this has nothing to do with my opinion on the characters, simply whether I would've gotten along with them or not.

some of these stories are based on real things and some are made up based on vibes. not saying which ones tho

author's note: if I had to describe how I was in high school with one character, it would be john bender from the breakfast club. if you haven't seen the breakfast club, it's your responsibility to fix that because it's one of the best high school movies ever made.

additional note: I no longer identify with john bender. I was edgy and terrible in school because I had a tremendously bad home life with my mom and zero rules, so I just did whatever I wanted and I made a lot of bad choices and did a lot of bad things to other people that I do regret now. I am a morally gray female character.

individual explanations under the cut

Best Friend Tier

DUDcan: as much as I hate him as a character? we'd be real as fuck irl. he'd be the one to go to for alcohol and cigarettes and we'd do LSD for the first time in his dad's pickup truck in a church parking lot at 11 PM together. I'm not kidding either I can so crisply imagine being sixteen and talking about our bad relationship with our parents in his dingy cesspool bedroom while his family is out having a dinner he wasn't invited to. we would have a lot of "are we dating?" moments but truthfully we never really had feelings for each other beyond platonic. he was also an asshole to me and I was an asshole to him and that's just how the bond was. I had a lot of trouble with his girlfriends because I was the girl best friend who they saw as a "backup girlfriend" when that was never the case. I was never friends with his gfs, and the periods in which he dated them were times when I would hang out with other people.

Okay Friends Tier

DJ: he seems like the kind of person I SHOULD'VE hung out with more in school but didn't because I didn't want to be reminded that my behaviors weren't healthy. he still seems like someone who'd take a lot of pity on me and make an active effort to be kinder. the kind of person who'd let me stay the night at his house when I didn't want to be in mine. he'd have a bunch of pets which would be awesome and his mom(s) would let me stay in the very nice guest room that I would feel SO bad using (but they would insist, because the couch is too uncomfortable for sleeping) and they'd make me breakfast and tell me I was welcome back whenever I needed.

Leshawna: someone I wouldn't get along with at first but who, over the years, would become the only person I could talk to about certain things and not feel judged. similarly to DJ, I think she'd take a lot of pity on the things going on in my life. She would move to another school or city or something in junior year but we'd keep in contact and every few months one of us would reach out just to catch up and swap stories and advice on the things going on in our lives.

Cameron: I actually wouldn't remember how we met, we just kinda started hanging out one day and that was that. he figured out that I had the benefit of getting mean people to leave me alone (either by intimidating them or by being friends with them lol) and would stick to me. kind of like a younger sibling. he'd also figure out that I don't mind listening to people infodump about their interests and would take great liberties to talk to me about whatever he was thinking of. he comes off as someone who would have a lot of trouble making friends because of a lack of empathy and difficulty in casual social situations, which I understand. we probably wouldn't keep in touch after we graduated, but we'd remember each other.

Katie and Sadie: let's be real for a moment. they would both get SO bullied for being dumb and loud. but they would also be so nice and would likely be the only female friends I had who'd be nice to me and treat me like a girl. ykwim. they seem the type to like, I dunno try to bleach their hair at home and freak out when it turned orange instead of blonde and they'd call me super panicked cause they don't want to be ginger and their moms already told them they weren't allowed to bleach their hair until college and I'd have to come over and help them. and they'd teach me how to do makeup in a way I still do to this day.

Rock and Spud: probably some of duncan's friends who I'd befriend through association. not much to say other than they know a good dealer and are generally nice people. they'd give me music recs and I'd return the favor and then we'd talk about the songs the next day. one year they'd be the only people to remember my birthday and get me a bunch of CDs and tapes.

Ryan: sat with me in english class. really smart guy, super perceptive, and we'd talk a lot about themes and stuff and get really good grades together. wouldn't talk much outside of class.

Sam: I feel like he'd start off in the pity tier because I mean. he would get SUPER bullied. but also over time I think he'd generally just be a fun person to talk to. I'd hang out in his dad's garage and watch him and his friends play mario kart together.

Scott: AGAIN a character who I don't like a lot but who I'd definitely get along with. would be a "our parents knew each other before high school so we hang out when there's no one else" situation. he would let me drive his pickup even though I don't have a license because he doesn't believe in the DMV. and we'd drive out to his family farm and wander into the corn fields and find weird bugs and stuff and talk about life. he'd steal his dad's cigars and we'd smoke them under that One Tree. I don't know how many of you have actually been on a family farm but there's always that one tree with the rotting car skeleton under it. we'd sit in that car and smoke and talk about bullshit for hours.

Civil Out of Pity Tier

Beth: sat across from me in science class. SUPER sweet, even though I'm pretty sure I made her aa little uncomfortable. would constantly talk about her boy band crushes and going to the formal in a new dress her mom sewed just for her and I'd nod along cause I really wouldn't have anything to say back but I had no reason to be rude. she'd have a lot of friends who I think were even more scared of me but I didn't bother with them anyway.

Ella: remember that one girl from the breakfast club who's label was "the basket case" and who everyone regarded as being crazy? yeah that's her. people would be nice to her face and then make fun of her behind her back in a way that'd bother me so much I'd go out of my way to be nicer to her. fight back against the system rahhh

Leonard + Tammy: DND kids before DND was cool. relentlessly bullied. I think both of them would have wicked drawing skills for their characters, though, and we'd have a few good conversations about folklore because I love that shit and all of my other friends would pick on me for it.

Jay + Mickey: were clearly trying to fly under the radar. first day of freshman year the homeroom teacher would announce to everyone that they both have life threatening allergies and carry epi pens, so if they had a reaction everyone would know what to do. and this would be super humiliating for both of them and I'd take pity for that alone. they're literally just trying to be normal.

Mike: one of those kids who'd be INSANELY nice to compensate for his visible mental illness. would get relentlessly picked on by teachers for having issues with memory and acting out sometimes, both of which I also experience cause I too had an undiagnosed dissociative disorder. I'd so badly want to be like "hey, man, I get it" but I wouldn't get too close just cause I felt like it wasn't my place. I'd try to be nice at least.

Nothing Against Them Tier:

Owen: we would get partnered for an english project and actually have a pretty good time making it, and then on the day of the presentation he'd fake being sick so I'd have to present it alone. I wouldn't hold it against him tho.

Tyler: our only interactions would be him asking me to explain assignments cause he sat behind me in auto or something and didn't understand what the teacher said, ever.

Crimson + Ennui: surprising even me, I just can't imagine myself being buddy-buddy with these guys. I think they had their own loner thing going on in a much more passive way than I did, and we didn't mess with each other out of a shared understanding, but we never really talked, either.

Something Against Them Tier:

Amy: she would intimidate me and I would steer VERY clear of her to avoid conflict. looking back on high school, I would later find that she probably didn't even notice my existence.

Anne Maria: would make fun of me but I wouldn't want to start shit with her because everyone already disliked her anyway and I was pretty sure she could hand me my ass on a platter if she wanted to.

Brick: army guy. immediate grounds for conflict with me. but I think we'd have a discussion where I'd say that I think veterans need better accommodations because like every man in my family has been enlisted in the military and he'd respect me so much for that we wouldn't ever argue again. then four years after graduation Leshawna would be like "oh brick? yeah he turned out to be gay and he's a designer now" and I'd be like oh great so all of that was for nothing.

Bridgette + Geoff + Brody: it'd be 113 degrees outside and they STILL wouldn't wear deodorant

Kitty: too happy. I'd find that suspicious.

Lindsay: being dumb doesn't excuse all the passive-aggressive bullying she would do. I wouldn't be mean back because I don't think she even realized she was being a dick but I would eat up her downfall after Heather decided they couldn't be friends anymore.

Sammy: we would have one single conversation in which it would become apparent to me that what she needs is a person who can constantly reassure her, be there for her, and serve as an emotionally stable figure of authority. that person would NOT be me.

Sanders: rules enjoyer. "erm don't we have homework due today" right before the end of class type chick. would get me in trouble for skipping.

Staci: I didn't like talking to people. personal hell world nightmare.

Would Sit Behind Me in Math Class and Try to Smell My Hair Tier

self explanatory

Mutual Dislike

Noah: I was not good at academics in school and he seems like someone who would latch on to that and take every opportunity to talk down to me and treat me like a pet until dudcan and I beat him up one day after school. fuck you noah.

Alejandro: popular. he would've been secretly in love with me for several years of high school tho. like whatever Juno (2007) said about attractive popular guys being really into weird scary chicks.

Gwen: we would have had beef one way or the other. I have no other notes we just would've.

Carrie: one of those girls who made her first boyfriend her entire personality. we would've been paired up in math class or something and she would've spent the entire project talking about devin until she realized I was ignoring her and didn't care. and then she never would've talked to me again.

Dakota: popular. idc how nice she actually was, every time I saw a rich skinny blonde girl in high school my kill instinct was activated.

Dawn: I laughed in her face when she asked me what my spirit animal was.

Devin: I can't actually explain this one but he seems like someone who would traumadump on literally anyone who started a conversation with him. I'd be trying to talk about the discussion question in english class and he'd be like "it's just so hard to think about school since my grandma died and my girlfriend dumped me and my dog left me for a better owner 🥺" and teenage me couldn't do empathy so I'd be like "okay."

Ellody + Mary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIarrG9ZO4I

The Vegans (I can't remember their names): I actually shouldn't have to explain this one. I'm vegetarian and even I would've found them insufferable.

MacArthur: she would have a sense of humor that I didn't find funny so every time she would crack a joke and I'd stare blankly back she'd feel insecure and proceed to compensate for it by making fun of me for the next half an hour.

Tom + Jen: they would passive-aggressively make fun of me for dressing weird and I'd tell them I could go into Hobby Lobby and see eighty christian moms who were dressed just like them. then they would just talk behind my back

Topher: he was either extremely repressed or just plain metrosexual but either way he had something against lesbians and would call me a dyke* because I cut my hair short.

*tumblr weirdos please be advised that I can reclaim this

Mutual RESPECT Tier:

Eva: IRL I actually had a surprising amount of friends in high school who were gym rats. probably because I also was kind of a jock. but yes Eva would see me once at the dojo and all of a sudden we would start nodding at each other while passing each other in the halls.

Harold: sat next to me in French class. the teacher would hate him for his autistic swag because he would interrupt constantly to correct them when they said something wrong. I would find that hilarious because I fucking HATED like 90% of the teachers in hs (again. bad at academics) and would back him when the teacher tried to get him in trouble.

B: he's smart but not in an obnoxious way. he has the vibes of someone who I'd know before school because our parents are friends or something and we never quite got along but I know he'd have my back if it came down to that

Sierra: okay listen to me. we wouldn't be friends but I don't think she would be scared of me either so any time we were in close proximity she'd talk my ear off about dan and phil or whatever the fuck and I'd just take it because trying to get her to shut up would be literally impossible. I would be aware of the fact that she wrote rpf on wattpad but I strongly believed in minding my own business so I wouldn't say anything unless I was directly asked about it. and then she'd ignore me and keep talking.

Jo: same thing as Eva except I think she'd talk to me more.

Sky: same thing as Eva but she'd somehow talk to me even less.

Stephanie: you will notice that there's a lot of hated characters in the mutual respect tier. this is because people did not like me in high school and I found it easier to hang out with all the other kind of terrible people than to try to fit in.

Sugar: see above

Lightning: he would be okay with me by association through Jo

Physical Violence Tier:

heather and taylor both come off as people who talk a lot of shit to and about other girls because they don't expect them to really do anything about it. but I used to beat up the girls who were mean to me in high school. then they'd never bother me again!* lalalalala

*please let it show on the record that I do not condone violence unless it's absolutely necessary

Extreme Mutual Hatred Tier:

Courtney: class council president, founder and president of the environmental coalition, does 8 hours of volunteer work every weekend, class valedictorian, 4.00 GPA, overly pretentious and smug. kind of the same thing with noah but worse because she's not just being sarcastic, she's dead serious about thinking she's better than everyone else. we would get into a mutual physical fight at one point or another.

Emma: kind of the same thing as courtney except those two would have an academic rivalry and it would be hilarious to watch from the outside. would tire herself to death with AP classes and dual enrollment just to go to state, which I also got into. I would find that very satisfying.

Jacques + Josee: would call me fat and I'd call their "sport" an insult to actual skaters. one of the few battles I'd willingly pick with other athletes because I know for a fact that Eva and Jo would hate them too and would back me if things got messy.

Scarlett: same thing as emma and courtney but one time in computer science I saw her using the 3D modeler to construct her own original saw traps and I steered clear of her after that. I'm pretty sure she wanted to commit acts of violence against the other smart girls

Never Spoke To Tier:

Ezekiel: homeschooled

Izzy: for some reason I just cannot imagine talking to her. like I'd know who she was when someone brought her up but otherwise? I just cannot imagine one single conversation

Trent: duncan and I would make fun of him for playing his guitar in his car in the whole foods parking lot after school

Beardo: doesn't speak

Chet and the other one who's name I can't remember: I think the fact that I don't even really remember their names says enough

Justin: popular and probably wouldn't even notice my existence, and I'd like it that way

Max: I would NEVER remember who he is sorry. he also comes off as someone who'd be really hard to have a conversation with

Jasmine: foreign exchange student who I really wouldn't care enough about to try to talk to.

Shawn: EXTREMELY anti-social, wouldn't talk to anyone

I Don't Want to Talk About it Tier:

we both noticeably liked each other at the same time for several years and never did anything about it because I don't pursue people and he was too scared to approach me

Toxic Friendship Tier:

okay I like zoey as much as the next guy but you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me she wouldn't be the worst possible person to be friends with. she seems like someone who'd get mad at something I said and then instead of addressing it with me, start acting really passive-aggressive and expect me to just KNOW what I did. she'd literally make me beg to find out why she's mad and then refuse to tell me because I should "know". would get upset over the fact that I don't respond to her PMs fast enough and either be extremely clingy or give me the silent treatment as a punishment. would take everything I did that even mildly upset her as a personal attack. would get jealous over the other people I hung out with and then when we all spent time together, she'd just act really rude and uptight. once slapped me "as a joke" and then tried to laugh it off when I gave her that Look. begged me to take her to a frat party when we were underage and then left me there to take an ecstasy tablet in some college guy's car so I had to call duncan to pick me up and he made fun of me while driving home. didn't know how to handle her alcohol so I had to drive her home in her own car every. single. time. sent me songs to listen to and then I had to pretend I liked them or she'd get sad. would have occasional breakdowns where she admitted she knew that she was being terrible to me and then nothing would change. all while I sat there like :| okay zoey. YES I HAVE KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THIS IRL BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING. THEY SUCK. I LIKE ZOEY AS A CHARACTER. BUT THESE GIRLS WILL KILL YOU AND SELL YOUR INTESTINES TO AFFORD MORE SMITHS RECORDS.

[purplesurveys]

1639

When was the last time you went out of state? Outside of my city and of Metro Manila, this would’ve been last December.

And where did you go? We drove to Tagaytay to attend a Christmas family reunion on my dad’s side. And holy FUCK was it cold. It was perfect lol.

What does the 6th text in your inbox say? I’m not checking that on a Sunday night; my Messages app is like 99% for work purposes anyway these days. Do you even like the person who sent you that text? I wouldn’t be able to know who that is as I can’t be bothered to open my texts.

Do you have more than one best friend? I have two amazing best friends.

In public restrooms, do you flush the toilet with your foot? Yes. Unless it’s those button thingies on the tank cover, in which case I’d have no choice but to begrudgingly flush with my fingers.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? Wild Flower by RM and Cho Youjeen, but that’s also because it’s playing at the moment.

Name one thing you worry about running out of: Energy and will to work. I’ve been resilient the last three years despite the burnout that consistently makes its presence known, and I’m always just able to...achieve stuff? Get promoted? Perform beyond expectations? I’m very lucky to apparently keep doing the right things, but I also don’t want to push myself too much; that’s why I’ve been a lot more rigid about stopping work at 6 PM sharp, declining work I know wouldn’t fit on my plate, and not normalizing weekend work as much as I used to. Setting boundaries is super important if you want to make long-term things continue to work for you.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I don’t have either of these.

Spell your first name without T, E, R, A, or L. Hi, I’m Obyn!

How old were you when you had your first kiss? I was 16, I think. 16 going on 17 it was.

Do you ever save Aim conversations? I was never on AIM.

If you were a crayon what color would you be? Purple.

Do you wish your eyes were a different color? If so, what? No. An overrrrrrwhelming portion of Asians have brown eyes anyway, and it’d look super unnatural if I were to go for a different color.

What is the 4th digit in your phone number? I’m not sharing that.

Who was the last person to comment you on Myspace? I never did use Myspace a lot... Have you ever given someone a fake phone number? No.

Your phone’s ringing; who do you want it to be? I don’t want it to be anyone. Right now, I’m most likely to ignore the call lol.

Have you lied to get out of a date? Nah but I’ve run into a related scenario. I had this classmate in college who wanted to hang out with me outside of school, and it was giving me alarm bells all over the place regarding his motives. I remember asking if my girlfriend at the time could come along, and he never replied back to me. So I didn’t lie, but it was something I had to do to get out of that date he wanted lol.

Was your mom a cheerleader in high school? She wanted to be a cheerleader but there weren’t any varsities or squads for it at the time.

Do you still have pictures of your ex? No I got rid of them all within like a week of breaking up.

When was the last time you ate at McDonald’s? Last Thursday. Held an event for a new product.

Do you think more about the past, present or future? Present and future.

Are you more of a talker or a listener? Depends on the scenario, but I like being a listener more. What do you wear to bed? Something thin, airy, and short so I can be comfortable the whole evening.

Do you like ketchup or mustard better? I’ve never understood the appeal of mustard. I don’t like ketchup either (unless it’s banana ketchup) but between that and mustard, it’s definitely slightly better.

Did you ever have a Furby when you were little? No. As far as I know those things were never popular here.

Did you eat a cookie today? Nah, haven’t had anything sweet today. I had the sweetest cupcake known to man last Friday, so I’m good to go as far as dessert for like the next month or so lol.

What do you and your parents fight about the most? Miscommunication. My mom will say something, I interpret it in a different way than she intended, she takes offense, we get into a misunderstanding. With my dad, I tend to tell him off about politics the most just because he’s super apathetic while I think it’s such a sorry state to be in.

How old will you be in 15 years? Assuming I’ve already had my birthday this year and have turned 25, I’ll be 40.

Is summer your favorite season? I like the wet (rainy) season.

Chinese, Mexican, or Italian food? Mexican to me is the most flavorful. How many states have you lived in? We don’t have states.

When is the last time you saw your mom? 30 minutes ago.

Do you like the band Mayday Parade? I tried getting into them back when they were considered cool to like in like Grade 7 and high school, but couldn’t find a spark with their songs. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up today? How much I wanted to take a shower.

Do you think dance/techno music is annoying? Not annoying, but I find the vast majority of it repetitive and boring.

What year were you born? 1998.

Do you shop at Hollister? No. I don’t think we ever had Hollisters here anyway so this question is irrelevant to me.

Grab the nearest book and turn to page 17. What is the 4th word? ‘Suspended.’ What are you going to be for Halloween? I didn’t celebrate Halloween last year.

How many times have you seen your favorite movie? TOO MANY. I once watched it everyday for like a 6-month period and have been rewatching it multiple times every year since. Movie’s Two for the Road.

Do you own a Coach purse? Nope, not really a fan of the brand.

What’s your Myspace song right now? Don’t have a Myspace.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a pet name? Yes.

--

Name a product you buy mostly because it has a cool package. So the K-pop industry is one big capitalist motherfucker and will typically sell shit wherein Version 1 will give you the bare minimum, Version 2 will have some extra stuff in it but not include the whole package, and Version 3 will have everything, including the nice big flashy outbox. I always go for Version 3.

Are you purposely hiding something from someone? For the last two weeks I’ve hidden my annoyance towards Reena because of how she’s derailed a few things about our Thailand trip, but most of that has been resolved now so we’re good. But yeah, there are stuff I’ve had to bite my tongue from saying.

What’s the most intimate thing you’ve discussed with a stranger? Back when I was fixing my admissions requirements for college, I was tagged as possibly having depression so I was whisked to the campus guidance counselor so they could gauge what the issue was. Pretty self-explanatory from there, but basically I hated being interrogated especially about something as private as my mental health so I just carefully dodged everything they asked.

What flavor cake do you like for your birthday? I’m not a big fan of cake but if anybody insisted on getting me one, I’d appreciate cheesecake the most. 

Is your house usually too warm or too cold in the winter? We don’t have winter.

Have you ever been in love with someone much older or younger than you? Nope.

Are there any songs that make you feel angry inside when you hear them? Eh, not really. When was the last time you sat on the ground, outside w/nothing under you? Around two weeks ago when I was waiting for my Grab to arrive. I had been on my feet the entire day then and just wanted a place to sit.

Would you rather have someone ask to kiss you, or just kiss you? Just do it.

What the most recent thing to needed an Rx med for? My sprained ankle. Angela’s mom, bless her heart, wrote a prescription for me without charge. She does that for me whenever I get into a medical emergency which fortunately doesn’t happen a lot. She did it for me too when I got a UTI and my previous prescription with another doctor wasn’t doing fuck all.

Have you ever had a job you loved? It’s a love-hate relationship more than anything, so no.

What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? Sweet potato fries or onion rings.

Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Fortunately not.

Are you in an argument with anyone right now? Nope.

What do you wish they would change or bring back on FB? Keep the senior citizens out. They can have the most ridiculous takes on shit, and are also the most likely to fall for and propagate false information.

Would you change your partner’s hair color if you could? I don’t have a partner.

Do you like “are we alike” surveys? They’re fine, but to keep them from feeling boring (aka just bolding) what I like to do is to expound on things that are true for me, and to some extent things that don’t apply to me. Same way a typical Q&A survey works.

Have you ever written a poem for someone? I haven’t, but I’ve had poems written for me.

What is a place you’ve vacationed at and would like to go back to? Jeju, South Korea. I have a better handle of the culture and language now, so I’d like to return.

Do you eat samples at the grocery store? I rarely take up the offer, even if it’s food I would normally like. Something about taking food from a stranger just screams unsanitary to me lol.

Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes, Carley’s Caucasian. I’ve tried keeping up our friendship for a few years, but she kept going off the radar at the most random moments without any heads-up, that I grew frustrated at some point and have just stopped following her back.

Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? Probably my ex during one of our big fights. People don’t typically do this to me.

Have you friended your parents on FB? Yep, I’m friends with both of them there.

What do you absolutely have to have to make your birthday feel special? My friends.

What’s the last tourist area you visited? Hm. Does BGC count as a tourist area? If it does, then that lol.

Where do you go out to eat for a special occasion? I always try to make it different every time; I don’t really have a go-to place.

When was the last time you went to a post office? I’ve never been to a post office.

Is there an item you are saving up to buy right now? Tickets for Yoongi, if we happen to do get a chance to snag them.

Are you psychic in any way? Nope. No one is.

Do you prefer a laptop or desk top? Which are you on now? Laptop. Haven’t used a desktop since high school.

You find $20, spend it before midnight or it disappears, how do you spend it? Get the version of Jack In the Box that I’m still missing, ha.

Do you like wallpaper? No.

Mice or roaches? Mice I guess even though I can be freaked out by both. I definitely fucking hate cockroaches.

Did you give or get any Valentines this year? Neither.

Have you ever been in a submarine? I haven’t.

What is the last lie someone told you, or you suspect they told you? Probably my associate telling me ‘yes’ when I asked if she’s done this and that thing.

Have you ever received a gift and truly did not know what it was? Yeah. This Christmas I got these reusable Disney-themed ice blocks from a co-worker; I initially thought they were ice molds but I quickly realized the things themselves serve as ‘ice’ since they had water inside. Definitely found it kind of gross at first (who knows where that water came from???), but so far I haven’t been poisoned LMAO so I guess we’re still good.

What’s your homepage? I took out the Momentum extension forever ago so now it’s just the default Chrome page.

What was the last birthday gift you gave? I got Bea cookies for her birthday.

Do you have dessert after breakfast? I don’t even have breakfast.

Is there anyone whose grave you visit? My maternal grandfather.

Would you rather drive during the day or night? Love driving at night.

Is there a thing you enjoy doing, but quit because you are not good at it? Embroidery.

[nanavn]

[ID: a series of screenshots of a twitter thread by Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen.

Text: The year after my dad died was so bad I don't remember 90% of it. I moved to a new apt and was unable to unpack. For MONTHS. I was ashamed I couldn't unpack. How can you be UNABLE to unpack? Just open the g.d. boxes. That was the year I cried for 19 days. Straight. /1

My good friend David - whom I've known since high school - knew I was struggling and he felt helpless. He said "you are loved" "we need you". I was like, "Doesn't matter, but thanks." So he took a risk. It very well could have ended badly. I could have lashed out. /2

I could have been really REALLY offended. But he took the risk. He sent out an email to a group of local friends (w/out my knowledge) and said, "Sheila is struggling. She needs our help. Let's all go over there and unpack her apartment for her. Bring food. Let's make it fun." /3

David sent me an email saying "will you be home Thursday night? Can I stop by?" I said "Sure." Sitting surrounded by 200 unpacked boxes. /4

At 6 pm on Thursday night the doorbell rang and 10 of my friends barged in, bearing platters of food, cleaning products, and complete unconcern for my 'wait … you CAN'T COME IN HERE I HAVEN'T UNPACKED YET" protestations. They ignored me and got to work. /5

They unpacked my boxes. They put away my 1,500 books. They hung pictures for me. They organized my closet and put away all my clothes. Meanwhile, someone set up a taco-making station in the kitchen. People brought beer. By the end of the night, my apartment was all set up. /6

I literally was unable to do THE SIMPLEST THINGS. And nobody judged me. They were like superheroes sweeping in. One friend arrived late, stood in the hallway, looked at me and said, "PUT ME TO WORK." /7

One of my friends basically took over hanging all of my posters and pictures. "I'm really good at measuring stuff. Let me put all these up in your hallway." I hovered, not wanting to give up control: "wait … put that one there maybe?" She said, "Go away." I did. /8

And she was so much better at hanging stuff than I was! Here are my friends putting away my books. /9

Here's a break for dinner. Please note that my friend Sheila's dinner plate is resting on my DVD player. /10

I was overwhelmed at the sight of all of my crazy friends turning themselves into Santa's workshop. On my behalf. W/out asking me. They just showed up and barged in. I was embarrassed for like 10 minutes but they were all so practical and bossy I had no choice but to let that go.

At the end of the night, I looked at my friend's husband - a quiet tactiturn guy who drives a tugboat on the Hudson - practical, man of few words - and I just looked at him, speechless, not knowing how to say Thank You, especially to this tough resilient self-sufficient man.

He looked at me, saw the look on my face, understood the look, understood everything that was behind it - and said, “Listen, baby, what we did today was a barn-raising.”

That's the end. The "ask for help" advice is well-meaning but not really thought through. There's shame, there's enforced helplessness, there's the feeling you're not worth it, etc. My friends didn't wait for me to ask. They showed up. They took over. They didn't ask.

When they all swept out of there 4 hours later, my place was a home. Not only was everything put away - but now it had a memory attached to it, a group memory, friends, laughing, dirty jokes, hard work. These are the kinds of friends I have. Be that kind of friend to others.

To reiterate: this plan could have backfired. I very well could have been offended, insulted, hurt. David took that risk. Being a friend takes commitment. A willingness to take that risk.

End ID]

Text from https://x.com/sheilakathleen/status/1005116845240848385, unrolled with threadnavigator.com

This is literally the most heart warming story I have read on Twitter so far. I think this is exactly what friends should do, and I feel everyone deserves people like this.

[hangonimevolving]

The Horror Movie - Part 3

I am regretting the title I've made for this series of stories. It should be called The Horror Movie. Should I go back and change it?! I might!

It's 8:30 in the morning, and my mom is on the phone, breathless and speaking a mile a minute. During the brief period of about 5:30-8:30 in the morning while I've been at my own home to see my kids off to school, the cops had arrived at her home shortly after sunrise, and were stationed mostly outside the house in their squad cars. One deputy, Deputy J (an angel who I will remember forever for his kindness), the head of Missing Persons, was inside with her, sitting at the breakfast table with his laptop and a cup of coffee that my mom had made him - he is the tall, stacked officer that was with her/us the entire day before, too. He was there when she got the call - and on the other side was a stranger's voice saying "there's this guy here, he says he's your husband, can I put him on?!" She then hears my father's voice, a little weak and tired, but ALIVE - and mostly okay.

And also, COMPLETELY CLUELESS about the whirlwind of chaos we are all in, searching for him. He then calmly tells her a narrative of where he has been and what he's planning to do. He tells her (and I'm gonna paraphrase), "Yeah, I am in Orlando. I was mad yesterday so I decided to leave and move to Orlando, so I took the Greyhound bus from downtown Fort Lauderdale and got here around 10 pm, but now I'm tired and I want to come home. So I've bought a 10 am bus ticket to return, I'll be arriving to Fort Lauderdale around 2 pm, but I don't have much cash on me. I'm going to get a taxi to bring me back home, but can you make sure we have some cash at home so I can pay the cab driver once I arrive?" His tone is calm and nonchalant, like all of this is just the most normal situation one could ever be in. BUT IT AIN'T NORMAL. Alright, he's alive, he is healthy, he seems reasonably lucid and is making sense. But for real, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!

By this time, I have literally dashed out the door of my own house and sped like an insane person the normally-6 minute drive back to my mom's house. I pull up crazily into her driveway, completely ignoring the multiple squad cars and cops milling about, and I run in.

I find her on the phone once again with my dad, and I can tell they're kind of arguing - like she has proposed something to her, but he isn't listening and is defying her wishes. Deputy J quickly fills me in with as much as he can tell - "your father has called, he's at a bus station in Orlando, he's using some guy's phone to call home and he is all agitated, he doesn't want to listen to your mom, he's insisting on taking the bus back home." I forget myself and I say "FUCK THAT," which Deputy J is kind enough to ignore, and he urges me "maybe you can talk to him? Do you think he'd listen to you?" which makes me laugh sarcastically. But I tell him that I'm certainly going to try. I tell him that what I would like to have happen is for local police authorities to escort my dad to the nearest emergency room, and that we would drive up immediately and get there as fast as we could to get him completely checked out and any treatment he might need, then we would personally bring him home.

At some point, by some miracle, the phone comes to me, and I speak to my dad. It feels like I've been there hours and this whole thing happened in slow motion, but in reality I feel like it was all within like 90 seconds of me arriving. Right off the bat, I can tell by the cadence and tone of my dad's voice that he is in a VERY bad mood and he is going to be extremely defiant and argumentative. I ask him "where are you?" and his first answer to me is "I am wherever I am." But I press him, and I have to say it VERY clearly to him in slow words: "Dad. I am at your house. You don't know it, but we have been looking for you for almost 24 hours, and we had no choice but to file a report with the police. There are state troopers in your house right now, they have been here with us for 24 hours. We need you to cooperate with us. There is a police search for you and if you don't cooperate, it is going to look like you are resisting the authorities." My dad has always had a healthy fear and respect of police, and a VERY healthy fear/respect of state troopers, so I tell this white lie. To my incredible disappointment, my dad says that he isn't going to comply with the police if they try to take him into custody. And what's worse, I have Deputy J speak with the local police precinct at the bus station where my father is, and that precinct has a very different philosophy and operating protocol in these situations. They do a field mental status exam on my father and they deem him in possession of his faculties, and they say they have no authority to take him into custody for his own welfare. My mom and I both feel our hearts sink to the floor. The man is a brittle diabetic with a history of quadruple bypass heart surgery, a pacemaker, a continuous glucose monitory that has been offline for 24 hours, and he had a hospitalization just one mont prior due to dehydration. How was he deemed to be safe to go on by himself?!!!

(Wheeee, some more fucked up pictures for you guys. We had been desperately trying to call the manufacturer of his pacemaker since the previous day to see if by some chance, we could track my dad using the serial number of his implanted device. It hadn't worked. But the picture makes the horror movie reel).

Alright. I was seeing red and black at this point. I looked at my watch: about 8:40 am. I knew the clock was ticking. This guy had a ticket for a 10 am bus, and I knew if he boarded that bus, the likelihood of us being able to track him down, find him, and for him to be in good health or even alive, would all be way, way worse. What if he boarded a bus to some other city? What if he lost consciousness before that point? We needed to act fast.

Dr. Spouse to the Rescue. I got Dr. Spouse on the horn immediately to tell him the situation and figure out a plan. Dr. Spouse happens to do a LOT of work with the Fire and Rescue services (fire, EMT's, other agencies) in the tri-county area near us. He has also been part of a team that has authored state legislation on the first responder protocols and field treatments of stroke and other neurological emergencies. I was hoping that maybe we could tap into some of his contacts and see if we could find a way to intercept my dad and get an agency to deem him unstable enough for him to be taken to a hospital. Long story short - this is exactly what happened. Dr. Spouse had a local EMS chief with whom he is on very close professional terms, who was happy to help us out and do us the favor of calling his counterpart field chief in the Orlando area, who was willing to send out an EMS unit to the bus station and find my dad. We counseled the Orlando field chief that instead of trying to take my dad into custody, to "play the game" of getting on his good side, and relating to him as a "fellow medical professional" rather than as a patient who was clearly aboard the Crazy Train. Praise Allah, it all worked. Within a half hour or so, my dad had willingly boarded an ambulance and agreed to be taken to a local emergency room.

We were already in motion, even as all this was happening. I ran into the house and barked to my mom - you have about 15 minutes to pack a bag for yourself, bring stuff for yourself for overnight and for dad too. I'm going home to do the same, and I'll be back to pick you up. We are leaving for Orlando. Deputy J was 100% in our corner - he was jubilant that my dad had been found alive, and fully confessed to me at that point, I didn't think we'd be getting him back for you guys at this point, I'm so relieved for you guys. /DEAD. Anyway. I thanked him and his team profusely and told him I'd call him within 30 minutes as we learned more - at this point, Dr. Spouse's Orlando contact was being extremely helpful and updating us every few minutes - so I felt confident that we'd be able to keep tabs on the situation that way.

I ran home and Dr. Spouse and I threw things into a bag - he insisted on coming with us to Orlando seeing as my dad was in need of medical intervention of one type or another, and his partners were all aware of the situation and had generously offered to cover for him at work. Grateful for that. I grabbed a laundry basket and threw socks, underwear, pajamas, clothes, Kumon homework, iPads, headsets and whatever else I could think of that the kids would need, and tossed the entire thing into my car trunk - then I grabbed my backpack and stuffed in my own clean undies, PJ's, clothes, my iPad, phone chargers, headset, snacks, water, and everything else I would need for the night. Dr. Spouse did the same. Then we hit the road.

We were back at my mom's house within 20 minutes and she was waiting for us - Deputy J was with her till we returned, which was thoughtful of him, and he helped load her things into my trunk and bid us all goodbye. We hightailed it over to Aunt Lynchpin's house - like I said earlier, she offered help and I took it. She wasn't home, but Uncle Lynchpin was there, so I handed him the laundry basket of my kids' crap and said "I will never find a way to thank you for this enough," and he responded with "We love you. Go get your dad." I can't even. We don't deserve such awesome friends.

Before you know it, we were on the road. To Orlando.

(There was a pit stop at a rest area with a Wendy's for "lunch" - fries and cokes which, we took to-go and got back on the road. Why is this relevant? It isn't. But, this stupid picture runs through my mind as part of the horror movie highlight reel, so here it is.)

Back on the road after that.

I don't think I went under 80 mph the entire drive.... Dr. Spouse rode shotgun, and was on the phone for the first hour, getting connected by our new angel-friend, the Orlando chief of rescue, with the admitting physician at the local emergency room, the on-call Neuro-psychologist, and other folks. Dr. Spouse asked what their initial assessment was of my dad, asked what labs and other tests had been run, and requested a few others which they were willing to do. I kept my foot on that gas and we just kept moving. My mom sat in the backseat, looking completely spent and dazed by the events of the last day. It had not yet even been 24 hours at this point.

It was around 2 pm when we pulled into the hospital parking lot.

(Intrusive thoughts time. "Why does the Orlando hospital have to look like a demented Disney World? Par for the course in the horror movie reel)

(Also just sharing that I've returned somewhat to some of the text of my massive email that I sent to friends/family to try to help me with events at this point onward.)

We walk into the ER, unsure what we are going to see.  And - miraculously, there's dad, in a private ER bay. And he didn’t have a scratch on him.

He was physically ok - very tired, SUPER dirty 🤢 very dehydrated, and acting cantankerous and uncooperative - but fine. But he was definitely acting weird. He had apparently, at some point in his adventure, ripped his continuous glucose monitor entirely out of his arm, citing to us that it was “bugging him.” My mom had just applied it three days prior, and normally he wears each as CGM a for something like 14 days before replacement. He is an internist himself - this was extremely out of character for him. We could sense something was up by his wild, amped-up energy…. I got that feeling in his presence that at the moment, he was cool, but any little thing would set off his fury at a hair trigger. It was tense.

The minute he sees us walk in, he gets up from his gurney and starts tugging at the wires and lines attached to him, and says "Okay, let's go!" and starts saying goodbye and thank you to the nurses stationed outside his room, who abruptly rise up and object. We shut this down IMMEDIATELY and say "dad, you are going nowhere. You need to get checked out." He is surprised and seemingly offended by this, and begins to object - but then we sic the hammer on him. Dr. Spouse. The one person that he absolutely cannot pull this bullshit with.

Dr. Spouse shuts it DOWN. He calms dad down, but also gives him a humongous talking-to. It was epic.

You are going nowhere.

You have put us all through hell.

We are so glad you are alright.

You are going to get thoroughly checked-out.

You owe that to us.

More or less, it went like that.

Mom and I knew that if it were us delivering the message, it would have been a giant fail - so we sat in the cheap seats and just offered support.

Anyway. Dad then proceeded to royally FLUNK the neuro-psychiatric exam, right in front of us.  Two days earlier, he’d had dinner at our house with the kids, we’d been talking about politics, watching football, etc.  So this was hard to accept - but we watched it and couldn’t deny that something had changed.  They did full work up including CT, MRI, etc and Dr. Spouse was there to read it all…wondered if he’d had a stroke or something (he’s actually had two extremely minor strokes in the past) - but nope.  

The only brain changes were consistent with dementia. And, as we found out in subsequent testing and appointments - Alzheimer's.

I am pretty sure that at this point, all three of us (Dr. Spouse, my mom, me) were thinking the same things as we were watching my dad try to talk the ER staff out of testing him for stuff, trying to make small talk with people as if everything was just another normal day, etc.  We were asking ourselves, did we miss something big in the weeks leading up to this?   Of course we had all noticed little age-related things with him.  The normal stuff - “where’d I put my keys?”  Or, increased difficulty with remembering names of acquaintances (not good friends, but tangential people, etc. his friends’ grandkids’ names or something). Then there was the whole long walk/dehydration incident the month prior. He had said he just was taking a long walk to work off some frustration. But did he in fact get confused or lost?  Some of these memories of his lapses, we chalked up to age of course, but some of it honestly was baseline for his personality, bc he’s always been bad at social stuff like that.

Anyway.  This portion of the Nightmare Story ends with my dad getting admitted overnight for observation, me booking Dr. Spouse a one-way flight back that night so he could collect our poor, traumatized kids and just take care of them, and me and mom checking into a hotel down the street.  

Dad got discharged the next day around 2:30 pm, and then I drove my parents home. A long, mostly silent, and exhausted drive home, with only one pit stop which was just an anxiety-riddled experience, standing watch outside the men's restroom to make sure he didn't run away again.

We arrived home completely spent, and I returned to my house to find my children pacing the driveway, waiting for me. It was around 6:30 pm on Wednesday, October 30th, and I couldn't have been more relieved to be home with my family.

To be continued.