#now what if pussy: horrid exists

[gladiatorcunt]

- ICEBREAKER / III.

i am the sun, you know you need me

cw: kinktober prompt (boot worship-ish), yandere behavior, confinement, mob boss!sunday, pet play without actually acting like a pet, canon typical controlling sunday, reader has a pussy, slight dehumanization, mean mean mean husband sunday but he loves you really, stockholm syndrome, pretend all the flowers & stuffed mentioned actually exist in hsr, sunday wins!au, one mention of halovian!reader

please do not repost, translate, or feed this work to ai

kinktober 2024

The invisible thread connecting you to Sunday has been spun into gold when you were not aware. You think you might’ve snuck in his cobblestone heart and done it in your sleep. It is an unspoken thing that festers within and eats you up from the inside until baby blue and white flower petals float down from your mouth, pleasantly aromatic bile becoming a fervent garden in your lungs. Overgrown but visually decadent and overwrought with confectionery and symbolism. Soul Glad spiked with an Aeon’s ichor.

Violets, baby’s breath, hydrangeas, forget-me-nots, sweet williams.

Not a single speck of dust is ever on him, and that includes his shoes. Dark brown leather and custom made, a gift he bought for himself that he was happy to say really came from you. A leader of a wealthy criminal organization could buy himself anything he wants, but it warms his icy heart to attach your name to it in his mind.

“You know I would never have you lick them if they were dirty, dove.” Sunday purrs, chin propped on his palm. “This isn’t to degrade you, you’d know what my vitriol would feel like. You’ve seen it directed towards less worthy patrons.”

He strokes a thumb down one of the wings on your head, fluffing the feathers and preening you as you “clean” his spotless shoe.

“Mmfh!” You slip your tongue in the grooves of his shoe, embracing the abrasions and coarse texture. “Yes, sir, I have.”

Interrogations, horrid screams, pleas for the gift of life and promises to pay back the money they owe, loud gunshots and his men dragging their bodies away. To be tossed over the edge of the dreamscape into the lilac depths. They’re always missing from the dream pools, a second death on the second day.

You’re slobbering now, your palms flat on your bare thighs as you work your mouth along the bottom of his left shoe.

Sunday chuckles and reaches out to wipe some of your drool away from the corner of your mouth, “Messy angel, you’re better than that.”

You’re not, the dampness seeping through your panties has you dead to rights. The wings on Sunday’s head flutter in amusement, nothing escapes his sight, he knows you down to the sparks of energy that make up your entire being. You’re the center of his eternal dream, his shining monument to what one would do for love.

“Teething on my shoes, you’re darling.” His even tone is basked in all the pleasure a man with the world at his feet (quite literally) could feel.

He nudges your jaw with the end of his right wing tip shoe, raising your head to make eye contact with you. You’re teary, but you still lap your tongue over the top of his left shoe, sucking it off like it’s a cock as you stay perfectly still. There’s always an unspoken test to see if you’ll give in to your baser urges and hump your slutty cunt against nothing.

But he does adore watching you squirm, his beloved pet rat in a golden maze of his own design.

You keep eye contact and lick a strip up the side of his shoe, tenderly kissing the tip before whining and moving your head after the one under your jaw.

“P-please, sir, let me finish my task before your next meeting. I don’t want you to be stressed.”

Sunday casts his gaze towards the oak doors, his wings tensing at the oncoming headache of his men surrounding him and awaiting his orders on how to further micromanage their territory. No matter, that’s the future, and he would much rather drift in the more pleasant present moment.

“The fish swim in the river however I tell them to. Take your time, my love.”

He can offer anything to you, whatever you want appearing before you in a flash, kept under lock and key at his extravagant manor. You never ask questions about what exactly he does or where he goes, but you don’t have to, he whispers it all to you freely. The truth holds no power over him when Sunday lives every day with the absence of lies.

You dot kisses on the leather toe of his right shoe, one your hands comes up to run your fingers in circles over his ankle. What makes this even better is that you ask for these sessions more than he orders them, an anxious little thing, being subservient helps quiet your racing thoughts and cabin fever.

Sunday feels generous, he taps his shoe against your cheek and takes it away, setting his foot firmly on the floor.

He beckons you with a come hither motion, “What would truly calm my nerves is to see my pet fall to pieces on my shoe. I’ll even let you get this pair messy with your spend, your scent would only make them my favorite.”

You hold in a happy squeal and eagerly straddle his foot, humping your panties down on the cool leather. The motion is slightly awkward, the friction brings you only a fraction of what you’re after. But the look in Sunday’s eyes as he watches you debase yourself for your husband, the thrill of doing such an act in a room that causes so much harm to everyone but you.

“That’s it, dove, dancing so beautifully for me.” He coos and keeps his foot still, content to be an audience member to the debauched show you’re putting on.

You whine, speeding up your movements and slicking up his shoe and the marbled floor beneath you. It’s not enough without him actively touching you, Sunday knows, so he shushes you and keeps patting your head rhythmically. Accompanying you on a fruitless journey towards an unsatisfying climax.

Sunday would never edge you, not when he could drown you and ply you with orgasm after orgasm. He would also never let you properly feel good without his touch. His lips quirk up as you whimper and come on the strip of skin where his ankle and foot disappears into his shoe. You keep pumping your hips, slipping and sliding with your come splattered on the leather and easing the glide.

If he takes them off after he sends you off to bed with a pat to your ass, and sniffs the soles, then that’s no one’s business but his. Another scene in the dream.

[velvetvexations]

Remembering when the OG r/traaa was a thing and how it was such a transradfem breeding ground. I just have to get this off my chest because I'm remembering a lot of crap from it because I used to be active on it as it was the only popular "trans meme" subreddit... There was a point that there was constant posts and rule changes telling people to stop contacting transmasc users with "god I wish I could have your boobs/pussy" DMs.

I remember when there was constant "you are now a catgirl and nothing you can do will stop it" posts that didn't have the "mtf" flair on them and therefore a lot of the time, transmascs would come across it and feel fucking horrid dysphoria from it. There was also a lot of general "good girl" and "here are pretty clothes for you" posts and shit that were labeled with the custom "gender non-specific" flair as well.

I remember when there was a disturbing fucking amount of "haha did anyone ELSE have a 4chan nazi phase?" from white transfems and POC trans people got VERY uncomfortable to the point new rules had to be added and mod posts were made to remind people "hey what the flying fuck makes you think this is even remotely okay".

Reddit is a cesspit in general but god... I just hate that for years, that was the only trans meme subreddit and I spent so much time on it because I had nothing else since r/FTM isn't really for memes or silly posts. The r/traaa2 isn't as bad but it's still got some issues like mainly being filled with MTF geared posts and again people tagging stuff that could trigger transmascs dysphoria as "gender non-specific", but, yeah. I just had to get this off my chest because I remind of it.

I didn't even mention egg_IRL because I fucking hate egg memes and shit, because they are 99% directed at transfems and also I just hate calling people eggs in general because it acts like intersex, nonbinary, and GNC people don't exist...

<3

Love you anon.

[animanytotsllyinsany]

gospel with lyrics

this song:

lyrics under the cut

My dear savior, I am sorry for what you’re witnessing now but I promise that tonight this hellish man will take his final bow so hide the angels, hide your son, avert your eyes as i put out his vile soul’s fire all because the he wouldn’t join our holy choir … His twisted tainted heart has been misguided and destroyed as well so I’ll send him back up to you and send his girlfriend back to hell! I promise you, it’s for the best, what I’m going to do to them their life was short and sad but I hope he will find a better end … How dare you interrupt my prayer! … God you’re so disrespectful, I can’t believe that I ever thought that you could join, you pushed me too hard tonight! … Broken, horrid, wretched, sad, disgusting, vile, feeble, and mad, each word you say reminds me of things that describe ya! … Insult me all you want but if you bring our lord into this battle, I’ll tear you apart and use your bones as prizes for a raffle! … I swear to you, this ain’t a joke- … If you won’t budge then I’ll have to move you myself! … If you keep rejecting us I’ll have to send you down to hell! … Why won’t you listen to me? You’d be better off- … Then if you stayed with this girl doing who-knows-what! … Lord in heaven, Jesus Christ, the father, son, and holy spirit, won’t let you into paradise because of all your corny bullshit! Damn, I haven’t been this riled up since He kicked me out of heaven- You horrid little beast! You just add and add to rising tension- … Harmonizing, singing, angels, demons, all to banish you to darkest pits of my domain, I hope the world’s prepared you for eternal torment, never-ending, fire, spikes, and deadly weapons, you won’t leave, no, I won’t let you, not at least without a fight and- … Stop interrupting me! I swear to god this is why you’ll never get to see His face- Just die! Give up already, take the highway out of my sight, no pearly gates for you, I really can’t believe that you would throw away eternal paradise just to get some pussy! Filth like you disgusts me, your existence is vile, I can’t believe I thought you were God’s child! … You continue to power on through all the things that we’ve thrown at you, are you really that desperate that you would rap and keep rejecting God’s will? I honestly can’t believe you, lust and greed have overtook you, I know I won’t forgive you but you better hope God will. … I’ll sing here and try my best to keep the work up on our choir, help god spread his holy message, pray that our words will inspire, you can leave now, go away please, the sight of you makes me uneasy, knowing that you’re alive is a reminder of my failed duties

Now I know that you couldn’t be saved, you’re too broken, too depraved, you’ve desecrated our safe place with your unholy words today, so now just leave, exit my sight, you’ve beaten me, so now take flight I suppose that I’ll just have to cry myself to sleep again tonight… (…)

[littlesniggy]

Princess Part Two

Part Two of the Kid x princess reader and well...I might’ve gotten carried away a little but oh well. Thanks to @pure-kirarin​ for requesting this!  Btw, this plays either pre time skip or during the time skip since Kid still has both arms lol.

Part One is here!

Warning: 18+, smut, dirty talk, virgin reader

Word count: 4.4k

She was laying in her bed, her face still wet from crying the whole way back. Her clothes were dirty; she had slipped multiple times on and some scratches were visible on her arms and legs. She needed to cover them so no one would see them. Otherwise, they’d ask uncomfortable questions and she simply had no answer as to why she looked like this.

The sheets of her bed felt comforting and soothing but she couldn’t quite fall asleep; too many thoughts were running through her head and every single one revolved around Eustass Kid. To say her image of him and pirates in general had been shuttered was an understatement. Was he right? Had she been too influenced by all the stories she’s read? In them, pirates were criminals but in a charming way; they’d drink and have fun and play around with women but they never gave off that aura of danger. And still: some part in her wanted to know more about pirates, know more about their life, their ambitions, and motivation.

Kid said something about becoming the king of pirates; wasn’t this just a myth? Finding the One Piece? Gol D. Roger’s call to find it? She wasn’t sure but he seemed serious. And this part of him was the one that intrigued her the most. She closed her eyes and slowly but surely drifted off into a restless sleep, haunted by a certain bloodthirsty pirate captain.

It had been two nights since she encountered the Kid pirates and ever since she felt down and less ambitious. The prince, his father, and their entourage left yesterday. Finally, she had time for herself but it did her no good; her thoughts were still running wild, always returning to Eustass Kid. She even had a somewhat wet dream about him where she woke up breathing heavily and completely unsatisfied. She’s never been intimate before and her urge to be was rather non-existent – until now. Only the thought of him doing anything remotely sexual to her had little butterflies flying in her belly, making it incredibly difficult to focus.

Suddenly, she heard the sound of weapons clashing on weapons, loud yells calling to gather in front of the entrance and protect the king and the princess. She hurried to the big window and saw with horror how one guard after another got killed, their screams echoing through the night sky. She clasped her hands over her mouth but couldn’t move her eyes away from the horrid scene. The ones killing her people were none other than the Kid pirates. She saw weapons flying through the air and gathering around one person – Eustass Kid. All the weapons manifested into one huge weapon-arm he used to kill more of the guards.

She heard footsteps in front of her door and turned around, expecting pirates to storm in at any moment. But instead, two guards were rushing in, weapons ready to protect or fight. “Princess-sama! You need to get out of here! It’s too dangerous!” one yelled while the other one grabbed her arm and pulled her with him. “W-wait! What’s going on?” she demanded to know but followed the two guards down the stairs. “Pirates. They invaded the palace. Probably looking for treasure but we’re not sure. As long as they’re here you’re not safe, princess-sama.”

The stairs led down until they reached the dungeons where a safe-room was located. But they didn’t make it until there because in a flash the guard’s weapons were taken from them by what seemed like magic but when she turned around Captain Kid was standing there, a huge and sadistic grin in his face.

The guards positioned themselves in front of the princess but without any weapons they were defenseless. “Princess-sama! Please, keep going until you reach the safe-room! We will handle him!” the guard told him. The princess didn’t think twice before she turned around and ran through the long corridor. She didn’t make it far though because suddenly, she felt a hand grab her hair and yanking her back painfully.

“Just the princess I was looking for.” She heard a voice right next to her ear. “Let go” she screamed and tried to get free but his grip was like iron. “Stop struggling and be quiet. I only want your treasure, that’s all. If you’re a good little princess I’ll let you live.” He purred. “Y-you killed the guards! Why should I trust you?” tears were running down her face. This was definitely not how she had imagined their next meeting!

“Indeed, I have. But maybe I’ll make an exception for you? Can’t kill a princess now, can I?” it sounded sarcastic and she new he had no qualms killing her as well. “Now, tell me. Where do you hide your treasure? The sooner you tell me the sooner we’re on our marry way.” “How do I know you’re not lying?” “You just have to believe me.” He sounded amused at her question. “And by the way. Didn’t you say you wanted to join us? As a pirate you should be okay with robbing and killing people. That’s just part of a pirate’s life.” She pressed her lips together and felt stupid once again. Deep down, she had known this but she just didn’t want to accept it.

“So, tell me. Where is the treasure?” he repeated the question. “I-in the south tower, top floor, behind a huge door. Can’t miss it.” She pressed out and expected him to let her go. But Kid had other plans. “That wasn’t too difficult, was it? Let’s go.” And with a push she stumbled forward. He let go of her hair so technically she could run away but she knew he’d catch her. “Lead the way, princess.” He said while he followed her, his eyes running down her body while they were walking, appreciating the silky nightgown she was wearing which was running down her body like water.

The princess noticed but kept quiet about it. “W-where is my father?” she instead wanted to know. Kid shrugged, the grin still on his face. “Who knows.” He simply answered and she knew he wouldn’t tell her. Maybe he was already dead?

When they got to the entrance hall she heard yelling coming from all over the place but she couldn’t see her father. Kid pushed her forward with his hand, making her almost fall to the floor. “Keep moving, princess.” It sounded like an insult when he called her that but she wouldn’t complain. She heard him call some of his men who followed them up the stairs until they all reached the huge door guarding the treasure. The two guards were quickly disposed of and the princess couldn’t hold back a squeal.

Kid laughed at her reaction while the others opened the huge door, revealing lots and lots of gold, silver, jewels and precious gems. “That’s what I call a jackpot. Pack it up!” Kid ordered and shoved the princess with him to the side to not be in the way of his crew. Silently, they stood next to each other, Kid had his arms crossed in front of his chest, she looked down, fidgeting with her fingers. “Did we wake you?” Kid suddenly asked, his eyes still appreciating the treasure in the room. She stayed silent, not wanting to answer.

He turned his head towards her, his eyes wandering up and down once again. “You got a lot of those nightgowns, don’t you? You were wearing one two nights ago as well, weren’t you?” a blush creeped on her cheeks and she pulled her arms over her body to hide it from his few. “Don’t be shy! It looks good on you!” The red intensified even more and he could swear her head was about to pop like a tomato. “Show me your room.” He demanded. Shocked, she looked at him, eyes wide and mouth open. There it was again – the excited feeling in her stomach. Even though he had just killed more than a dozen if her men she still felt intrigued by him; his whole aura had her body drawn to him.

“C’mon. A little princess like you must have a huge room, right? Let me see it.” He insisted. There was no rational reason why she did it but she obliged. As if her body was out of rubber, she walked along corridors with doors to every side, legs daring to give in with every step. Kid walked behind her, she could feel his eyes on her body.

She stopped in front of the door, hesitant to turn the nob to open it. But Kid took over this part. His big hands grabbed the nob, turned it and opened the door. He pushed her inside and followed her right after. She heard him whistle but didn’t turn to look at him. Two clicks indicated he had closed and locked the door behind him. Now it was only the two of them, alone in her room, her only in her nightgown and underneath it only her panties.

“That’s a nice ass room. Being a princess has its perks, hasn’t it?” he passed her and took a look around her room. His eyes wandered over pictures showing her with her father, some friends and one with her mother when she was young. She expected him to ask about her but he didn’t. He simply didn’t care.

When he was done he walked towards her bed, sitting down in the mattress. His legs spread and his arms crossed in front of his chest. His grin was ever so present on his face and had her look away. “Why did you want to join us?” he asked out of nowhere. “I…I don’t know.” She answered truthfully, still not looking at him. “Bullshit! Did you think I didn’t notice your reaction? When I had my thumb buried in your mouth?” His grin grew even wider. “Did you hope for something more…filling?” he laughed at her shocked expression when she turned to look at him.

“Now is your chance, princess. I can almost smell your pussy from here and believe me she wants me.” He said cockily, way too full of himself. But he was right. Ever since he asked her to see her room she had thought about all the things they could do in there – and none of her thoughts were G-rated. “C’mere.” He demanded.

Slowly, she put one foot in front of the other and made her way over to where he was sitting. She stopped in front of him, her sight set on the floor. Even though she was standing was he almost as tall as her when he was sitting. “Have you ever knelt down in front of anyone else?” he asked. She shook her head no and received a dark chuckle. “Then it’s time you learn how to do it. Get on your knees, princess.” His tone was demanding and left no room for arguing.

With trembling limps, she got down, took her place between his legs. Pleased, he hummed. “That’s a nice sight, princess. You look good on your knees. As if you were made to kneel down.” “Stop saying that.” She whispered, completely embarrassed by his words. Kid laughed out loud at her wish. “But it’s the truth, princess. Now, get down to business.” He demanded but she didn’t follow his order. Kid raised an eyebrow.

“Didn’t you hear me? Go, suck my dick, princess.” He clarified but again she didn’t move. The princess bit her lower lip, seeming like she wanted to say something but too embarrassed to say it out loud. Kid grabbed her chin and made her look up at him. “What is it, princess? Spit it out or get going!” She averted her gaze but after receiving a slight slap to her cheek she answered.

“I….I have never been….intimate….with a man before.” She whispered, barely audible. The captain made a surprised sound but didn’t let go of her chin. “A virgin, huh? That’s rare. But I like it.” With his other hand he opened his pants, freeing his semi-erect member from its restraints. “Don’t worry. I’ll guide you through everything.” His thumb circling his huge mushroom head. The princess took a quick glance at his dick before looking away, cheeks blushed once more.

“You can look. It gets him excited, y’know.” Kid purred. She hesitated for a moment but then looked back at his dick which twitched in response, slowly becoming harder and harder. “Good girl.” He praised. He let go of her chin and instead took one of her wrists between his fingers and guided her hand towards his member. Before she could touch it, she tried pulling back instinctively but his grip was too strong. “Don’t be shy. Touch him.” He encouraged her and simultaneously pulled her hand closer until he wrapped her hand around his dick, his hand covering hers.

She gasped at the touch. It felt warm and…weird, as if it was some kind of animal. But it made her pussy wet at the same time, making her rub her thighs together. “You like how it feels?” he started to move his hand around hers so she was stroking him. He pressed his hand down, showing her how he liked it. Her legs kept rubbing against each other and she didn’t know what to do about her growing wetness.

“Touch yourself, princess.” His demand came out of nowhere. “What?” she asked bus his grin told her she had heard him right. “I said: touch yourself. I can see you want to.” Her cheeks were burning and she couldn’t move. “Have you ever touched yourself?” he asked, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you haven’t!”

“W-well….n-not really.” God! This must be his lucky day! Fist the treasure and now this!

“Then let me teach you how to do it….Follow my orders, princess.” Her eyes were uncertain but he knew she would obey his orders. She was way too curious.

“Are you wearing panties?” she nodded hesitantly. “Good.” His hand kept holding hers in place, still stroking him.

“Move your hand between your legs and rub your index and middle finger over your panties where your pussy is.” Her hand slowly moved down between her legs and she gasped when she touched herself. “Tell me, are you wet?” his grin was now predatory. He leaned down to be closer to her face. The princess nodded shyly. “Good. Now move your hands in your panties and feel your cunt. Tell me how it feels.” She followed this order as well and a small moan escaped her lips when she touched herself. “How does it feel?” he demanded to know.

“W-wet….hot.” he grunted at her words, closing his eyes for a moment. “Good girl. Do you feel the little nub?” her fingers glid over said nub and she jerked away a little. “Circle it with your finger.” A whimper escaped her lips and she had to close her eyes at the sensation. She felt how her juice coated her pussy even more, making small sounds while she moved her finger over her clit. Kid squeezed her hand slightly and gasped at the feeling. “Do you feel how you’re getting wetter? Does it feel good, princess?”

“Y-yes.” She moaned. Kid picked up the pace at his dick and her hand between her legs followed his pace.

“Do you think you’re wet enough now? Are you dripping?” his voice filled her head and she could only nod. “Push your finger inside.” The princess opened her eyes and looked at him, stopping for a moment. “B-but what if-“ but he cut her off. “Just do it, princess.” His harsh tone made her whimper and her pussy clenched around nothing. Slowly, she moved over her slit and inserted one finger, making a slightly uncomfortable sound. “Try rubbing your clit.” It was difficult and she had her hand at a slightly awkward angle but managed to circle her clit with her thumb. Her legs opened wider when she started moving her finger in and out, the feeling of herself around her finger was weird and exciting at the same time.

His hand picked up the pace around his shaft once more and her hand followed suit. “When you’re ready put another finger in. Spread them.” “Ah!” another small moan when she entered a second finger, scissoring them and also curling them inside of her, moving them in and out of her pussy. The moans came out more frequently now and she hand to rest her cheek against his thigh, watching their hands pump his dick with hooded eyes. It was so hot, she didn’t know where to put her lust. Kid grunted, his eyes never leaving her frame.

“Such a good, slutty princess. Following a pirate’s orders to please herself.” He praised, making her moan again. She started moving her hips up and down on her finger, her moans getting louder and louder. Kid laughed at her action, licking his lips at the sight. “That’s right, princess. Fuck yourself on your fingers. Ride them like it’s my dick.” Another moan. Her movements became frantic and he knew she was close. It was now or never. He let go of her hand and put his hand on the back of her head. “Open up!”

She had no time to think before he pushed his huge dick inside her mouth, almost choking her. Her eyes were wide open and she tried to get away but he wouldn’t let her. “Breath through your nose, princess. And don’t forget fucking yourself.” The problem was not her breathing – at least not her primary. Her gag-reflex had kicked in and it took all her will power not to puke. Kid started moving her head between his legs, low grunts rumbling thorough his body. “Fuck.” He grunted.

The princess listened to his grunts and it somehow got her distracted from the uncomfortable feeling on her tongue. She also started moving her fingers inside of her again, soon getting back the feeling inside or her that indicated her coming orgasm. She moaned around his dick, entering a third finger. His dick moved in and out of her mouth at the same pace, his mushroom head bumping against the backside of her throat; spit was dripping down her chin, his pre-cum salty on her tongue. With two more pushes of her fingers did she clench around herself, cumming hard and coating her fingers.

Kid stopped his movements a little bit unwillingly when she came but he watched her come down from her (probably) first orgasm. He removed his dick from her mouth and grabbed her chin once more, making her look up at him. “Show me your hand.” He whispered. With a small whimper she pulled out her fingers and slowly raised her hand with shaky limbs. Her fingers were coated in her juice and kid licked his lips, then grabbed her hand and closed his lips around her fingers, sucking on them. His tongue swirled around them, licking up every little bit of her cum.

She could only watch in amazement, brains till a little foggy from her high. When he was down, he let her fingers go with an audible plop. “Slutty princess, making such a mess while masturbating. Dirty, dirty little bitch.” His grin took in almost all of his face, that’s how satisfied he was with her job. But he wasn’t done yet…

“Get naked, princess. The main part is about to start.” He purred. “W-what? But I just…I just-“ “I’m gonna make you come again. You’ll like it since you’re such a little whore.” His words made her clench around nothing once more and she knew he would be true to his word. She got up, legs still shaky but she managed to stand in front of him. Her hands moved over her body, down to the hem of her nightgown and pulled it up over her head, exposing her breasts, the nipples hard from her arousal. Kid hummed in appreciation and couldn’t help himself but grab her tits in his hands and fondle them quite roughly.

“K-Kid…” she moaned and leaned into his touch. He leaned closer and took one of her nipples between his lips, sucking and biting at it. She threw her head back and had her eyes closed. “P-please….be gentle.” He looked up at her, licking her nipple before grinning again. “Can’t promise that.” He said and dedicated himself to her other nipple while his hand massaged her breast. His rough hands felt incredibly on her skin and the excited feeling between her legs came back.

The pirate noticed and looked down at her still clothed sex. “Take it off. I wanna see all of you, princess.” His voice was coarse from arousal and had her shiver in excitement. Her hands moved to her panties and pulled the, down, exposing her wet sex. Kid licked his lips at the sight and just had to take a lick by leaning forward. She moaned because of the sensitivity but jerked her hips forward, pressing herself closer to his mouth.  

“So eager.” He murmured against her clit before teasing it with his tongue a little. The princess was afraid she might lose her balance and fall but Kid Kid wrapped one arm around her waist to keep her up, the other one grabbed the back of her knee and pulled it up to have better access. His mouth now savored her pussy, licking and sucking at the sensitive flesh and having her moan above him.

“K-Kid! I-it’s too much!” she whined and moaned at the same time, not knowing if she liked it or hated it. Just in this moment a knock on the door could be heard. Kid grumbled in discontent. “What?” he barked. “When are you done, captain?” he heard Killer’s voice from the other side. “Fuck off. I’m in the middle of eating dessert!” her cheeks turned pink again but she couldn’t think straight when he sucked at her clit once more, making her moan.

They heard a Killer clear his throat on the other side and then his leaving footsteps.

“Naughty princess. Letting him hear you moan.” He teased. Kid pulled away from her sex and threw her on the mattress instead. She looked up at him, body heaving, legs slightly spread, exposing her wet pussy. “Such a nice view.” He complimented. The princess sucked on her lips, knowing what was about to happen. Should she really let a pirate take her virginity? She was promised to the prince, was engaged and about to get married. Should she throw this away? But Kid was already above her, his body like a blanket covering her own. He had lined himself up with her pussy, ready to push in.

“Take a deep breath, princess. This’s gonna hurt.” And with these words he pushed forward, sinking into her wet and hot pussy. A painful scream escaped her mouth and she clawed at his muscular arms, trying to find some support for her pain. But Kid showed no pity and pushed himself in completely. Her whole body was tense and she tried to push the foreign body away but the pirate was too strong. “Relax.” He huffed before he started to move inside of her.

“It hurts!” she pressed out, eyes shut tightly. “Stop whining. It’s gonna feel better soon!” Maybe. He thought to himself and grinned. Now was his turn.” His movements were sharp and hard, his dick moving in and out of her. It was a great feeling, especially since he knew he was the very first to thrust into her. Her face looked tense and he knew she was in pain. She was probably bleeding as well but why should he care? She had her orgasm and he wanted his. Well, maybe he could help her a little.

One of his hands moved down between their legs and started rubbing at her clit, making her jerk against his touch. “Good girl. Keep moving against me.” She whimpered, the pain slowly moved to the back of her mind thanks to his finger in her clit. She bucked her hips against his thrusts, making him grunt and curse with each thrust. He picked up the pace, his hips snapping back and forth at high speed, making it hard for her to keep up with his pace. She moaned, eyes closed and her arms were next to her head after she had let go of his arms. Her body was shuffled over the sheets, her body sweaty from all the feelings inside of her.

With each thrusts she got closer and closer to her next orgasm, her voice hoarse from moaning and screaming. Her legs wrapped around his hips, pushing him closer to her and pressing him deeper inside of her. With a last, loud scream she came around his dick, clenching around his thick meat and making him groan in pleasure.

Breathlessly, she laid underneath him, slowly getting her breath back under control. Kid had stopped moving; he looked down at her, had watched her face twitch in pleasure while she rode his dick through her orgasm. It was really hot; he wouldn’t lie but he wasn’t done yet.

“Little princess cumming around my dick like a whore. What an exciting sight. I like it. But I’m not finished yet. Let’s see if I can make you cum a third time. After all, three’s the lucky charm.”

_____________________________

Her whole body felt sore; her body was covered in dark bruises left by his mouth, her breasts and lower body was covered in his semen, dripping down onto the sheets. She felt used and dirty but at the same time completely satisfied.

Kid had left a while ago, the castle was silent. Before he left he had praised her for being such an obedient little princess who took in his dick so well. Alone remembering those words made her smile. She knew she would most likely never see him again but that was fine; after all, he taught her how to pleasure herself and that was enough. At least for now. Maybe she would teach her soon to be husband how to pleasure her.

[masterthespianduchovny]

No please share your theory if only you want to though. Well I mean David did kinda almost slip up when he said years age Nate's the single guy lol & him unintentionally always bringing her up and Gillian is getting flustered and shit and whatnot all the time when he's brought up. In your OWN opinion do you think that DD is also captivated/charmed with GA's charisma and her being her in general?

Wait, what does ��Nate’s the single guy” refer to again?

Full disclosure: the only thing I claim to be true is that David and Gillian are friends, which I’ve stated before last Sunday.

This is all speculation on my end and I don’t claim it’s the truth by any means.

Personally, the only way I can make sense of David and Gillian’s is if they were/are having a torrid affair.

Antis will claim this is a fantasy of mine, but I don’t fantasize about people having affairs. However, I am realistic that these things happen.

As I mentioned in another post, how is Gillian still flustered about a question she literally answers several times a year for almost 30 years? Why can’t she give a straight answer? Why does she lie and sometimes contradict herself?

Because she was and currently is involved with David in an on again/off again affair. Depending on her answer, they’re either involved at that moment and/or she’s upset at him.

Where as David can answer the question, but he slips up in other ways.

And it explains why they’d lie about it.

Let’s get something clear: they’ve always admitted that they’ve had a complicated relationship, which they are open about, but they’ve never said they’ve hated each other.

Part of the reason is that they both have dominant personalities, the other reason is that they couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to each other for whatever reason. Then when they got married to their respective spouses and had kids, but still fucked around, they couldn’t expose their indiscretions.

They’re both trying to protect their kids, David more so than Gillian. David’s father cheating, and then leaving his mom for his mistress, deeply shaped David and his brother. People may think this is ironjc and hypocritical, but sometimes kids mimic their parents behavior. Even the toxic shit. As a result, he doesn’t want his kids finding out what he did because he knows what it could do to them. It’s also to spare their former spouses embarrassment (to be honest, I’m not sure David and Gillian would ever receive public blowback for it, esp now. People already think they’re fucking, so what difference would it make). Acknowledging that they ever hooked up leads to questions about when, and then people doing the math.

Gillian’s marriage was from ‘94-‘97 and David’s from ‘97-‘14. Okay, so maybe Gillian was single for a few months and David was single during his separations from tea. I’m not sure there’s a lot of overlap where they were both technically single at the same time. David dated Perry and the woman who dated det white. There has almost always been a relationship going on.

So if they’ve been fucking on and off for almost 30 years, it wasn’t always when both were single. One or both of them were definitely in relationships.

Something we know happened: Gillian admitted that they were talking (as in trying to see if it could lead somewhere) when David lost interest because she wasn’t from New York.

So there is evidence straight out of Gillian’s mouth that when they first met they kinda hit it off in that way before David walked away.

During the dark ages, you know the time they famously ‘hated’ each other, David elopes and doesn’t tell Gillian. Months later, her and David are doing an interview for print or video where they interview each other. Gillian brings up tea and is like, “you must’ve really liked tea to marry her so quick” and “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting married?” This isn’t verbatim, but the gist of it. David says, “you’re still mad about that?”

Let’s take a moment to note how weird that is. They hate each other, right? Why would Gillian fucking care that David didn’t tell her he was getting married and that it happened so quick? It doesn’t matter, but she was hurt by that. She really was. It wasn’t friend hurt, it was jealousy and betrayal.

David hates Gillian, but makes snarky remarks about her boyfriend Roland aka “six pack” (or is it eight pack). “Well, he hates her right, so it makes sense he’d make cracks about her boyfriend?” Well, years later, it’s an inside joke between them.

Their failed relationships are inside jokes to them. Does anyone else find it unusual how often they joke about their failed marriages and relationships? How is this something apart of their narrative or necessary when talking about how long they’ve known each other?

The only way their behavior and responses makes sense to me is if their relationship is messy as hell.

Why would you lie about how close you are to someone unless you had something to hide?

When you comb through their history and read/see what they were doing and what they said, it doesn’t match this narrative that they hated each other. They were at a difficult point in their relationship, personally and professionally, and that bled over into work and interviews. But they’ve always maintained that it wasn’t hate, it was just complicated.

I think in “ghost in the machine” Gillian pretends to blow David. They insisted on doing the “cut” FTF loss and I write cut in parenthesis because, although it was cut, it shouldn’t have existed. They made out twice for fun. Why? Why would you make out for fun with someone you hate? And didn’t this occur during the dark ages? In the unnatural, after tea leaves the set, David starts humping Gillian and she giggles. Yes, two people who hate each other right there.

Their relationship was so tense and complicated because they were stubborn, proud, and strong willed. Those type of people are bound to clash. Throw in their work environment and their relationships, it was a pressure cooker. An explosion waiting to happen.

When people say they hated each other, the question is why and how did they get over that?

There’s never an answer for it. Or when they do claim something, it’s disproven.

And that’s because they didn’t.

If they hated each other, they wouldn’t have done IWTB, various cons together, or even seasons 10 and 11.

Could I be 100% wrong about this, ABSOLUTELY.

Look, it’s no skin off my back if I’m wrong.

I just can never shake the sensation of how Gillian looks like she’s about to be caught or is scared when she’s on a late night show and someone says “picture” and “David” in the same sentence. She looks shaken.

What was up with their kimmel interview?

Why we they basically flirting while talking about hooking up with women?

I expect anon hate accusing me of saying “you said that they had a horrid affair doe 30 years.” 🙄 ���but Gillian was so in love with Peter and David loves young pussy.” But my whole point is, I don’t know what to make of their relationship and this is the only thing that makes sense to me. Both of those things could be true in these hypothetical anon hates, it still doesn’t change what I said.

Hell, even Téa while freshly married to David described his relationship with Gillian as sibling like and like a married couple. What does that even mean?

People who talk about “Téa had to force David to invite Gillian to his housewarming party.” Was that because he hated Gillian or because they used to fuck/were fucking. Inviting your former/current lover to your new home with your new wife. A bit awkward and disrespectful, wouldn’t you say?

Keep in mind, months before (or a year before), he was her date to the Emmys, as a friend, to support her because her divorce was being announced that day. How do you go from that to hating each other and not wanting this person to come to your housewarming party?

What was the catalyst?

Why did the fall out?

Didn’t their tension start around the time he married Téa? 🌚

I don’t know if it’s in the same year or within the same 12 months of his marriage, but she’s mad at David at one award show and kissing him on the cheek at another. Dark ages, right?

Remember when Gillian gave a spot on, unfavorable assessment of David and he responded to it all hurt and moody? 😂

And, how could I forget, let’s think of the other suspect behaviors.

1. David: we only email like five times a year.

Gillian: that’s what you like to tell people.

2. Gillian’s gum falls out of her mouth, David puts it in his mouth.

3. Gillian spitting food in his hand and David not being grossed out by it.

3. David pulling on the hem of Gillian’s shirt to pull her closer so he can sign it. Neither thinks twice about it, despite the level of intimacy being unusual.

4. David biting on her shirt.

5. David going quiet and making shit awkward after joking about her saying she kept saying she’d point at random men and say, “I’m going to marry that man.” Same occasion two minutes before, Gillian asking how David knew who mitch’s wife was (it was her stunt double). It felt accusatory.

6. The chili’s story where she has to explain she means Mulder and Scully had sex at Chili’s and not them.

7. Then holding hands under the table at comic con in 2013.

And there’s a lot of stories either I forgot or don’t know, I’m still finding out new things.

I know this theory destroys their perspective of DDGA and it ruins them for some fans, but it’s just a theory. Like I said, I’m not saying it’s the truth. I’m saying it would explain a shit ton about the ebbs and flows of their relationship and why they’re so inconsistent and reactive to being asked about each other for just about three decades. Why aren’t they bored of the question by now and answer it without this big to do?

I don’t know if David stans believe he is/was a cheater, but Gillian stans swear he is until you mention he could’ve cheated with Gillian. All of the sudden, he’s faithful and committed. 😒

I can admit that I might be wrong because I don’t know them. Only they know what goes on in their relationship. But if you had friends acting like they do, you’d think they were fucking or wanted to even when they insist otherwise.

To tour last question: OF COURSE David is captivated by Gillian. Gillian is attractive, funny, and flirty. They seem to have similar senses of humors at times as well. She’s silly too. I can totally see David being taken in by her because we see that now.

He’s more of the straight man to her zaniness, but he finds her zaniness endearing.

EDIT: please feel free to add any normal colleague behavior between David and Gillian over the years. 👀

[fruitz]

johnten: a phrase that seems like it has existed since before the sands of time. it’s provocative, it’s excting, it’s.... fake?! yes readers, everyone’s favorite little jock x twink interactions were the brainchild of something even worse than a classic SM-planted gaybait, and I, user SorryJohnny am here to singlehandedly put a stop to the abomination that we currently call johnten. I have information that I intend will cause you little freaks known as johnten shippers to go into extinction. i know what you’re thinking: but user Sorry Johnny, ten had an intense sexual attraction to johnny! no you fucking donkey! this was all an illusion put into your tiny little pea brains that are so quickly satisfied with even an ounce of male on male flirting and angst that you’ve been blinded this whole time. let’s pull up the evidence. my suspicions of johnten began with the infamous vlive titled  "💚쟈니 텐 출사 준비중 시즈 니 도와주세요💚" braodcasted on july 12, 2018, which is otherwise titled as “johnny and tennie’s photo club” by YouTube creator brickbackstrony. it makes me sick to my stomach. yaoi-consuming freaks with no free time flocked to create edits & AUs based off of ten referring to johnny as a “top model” & saying he “lit his fire”. in fact, YouTube creator bringbackstrony claims ten *shivers in gay*. YouTube editors make me incredibly nauseous. straight kboos who have never spoken to a gay person in their entire live were too busy leaking their panties to pay attention to the cold hard proof at hand. when ten accidentally cut the crap. at timestamp 42:27, the slander begins, with ten bringing up johnny’s “thin lips” resulting in johnny looking visually offended. it only gets worse from there. at 43:13 ten releases an utter truth that he has been holding since SM rookies: “I think you look very weird.” no, user SorryJohnny, he quickly corrected himself and meant the drawing! no, reader, he went on to say “like sometimes, sorry.” he couldn’t cover up what he had done, so all he could do was apologize. that powerful statement, ringing through my ears as i lie to rest at night, “i think you look very weird” is the most genuine string of words that have ever come out of that pot-stirrer’s mouth. and i mean that sincerely, as someone who would, sadly, get gunned down in the street over that little shit starting fairy. he goes on to reveal a horrendous drawing of “johnny” that i can only describe as This Man, you know, the one with the unibrow that we see in our dreams? ten the man who designed his own tattoos. ten, the man who wants to create his own jewelry line. ten, the man who forced us all to witness his drawings of softcore porn peacock feather pussies 2 months ago... wait, you’re a johfam and you don’t know that ten did that? i’m sorry, it’s best you don’t try to find it. you’re telling me ten, the multilingual main dancer main vocalist sometimes rapper illustrator put out that visceral steaming pile of dog shit into the world and called it JOHNNY? do with that information what you will. so where does this leave us, reader? ten thinks johnny is very ugly. what now? what caused this entitled little f- to act like that exactly? that’s where things get interseting, and honestly, quite brutal. i firlmy believe that ten does want to have sex with one  bitter, pretentious, ancient old hack known as wayv’s qian kun, which is something i find very abysmal in and of itself, and should be considered beastiality, but that’s obviously for another time. so this brings us to the question at hand, how does ten flirt sincerely? openly and fruity, or by pining and angst? given his pisces placement, the latter is the correct answer.  given this information, we find that ten in fact did not find john suh sexually or romantically attractive. we’re back to the square one; what caused that little fruit to publicly say he wanted to have sex with him and utter abhorrent visual statements such as that of the nightmare-inducing “john’s banana?” why, you ask? it’s simple: ten is a bully.  why would ten make a bunch of 16 year old straight girls with blue hair and fujoshi kinks think that he found johnny suh to be the sexiest man alive? and why did he make an entire population of women age 18+ with daddy issues and stockholm syndrome believe the same thing? he answer is self explanatory. why does the republican jock pretend he has a crush on the ugly pimple-ridden sjw in a nyan cat shirt? harassment, bullying, and an unhealthily high sense of self. ten is a narcissist. he walked into SM one day to meet one 6’0 tall chicagoan accented john jun suh with as much sex appeal as mr. rogers and thought to himself “this is the ugliest man i’ve ever seen in my god-given life. i think i will pretend i want to have sex with him.” and thus, the terrorism that some like to call “johnten” and others like to call “a visual abomination to the gay population and mankind as a whole” was birthed, by none other than the manipulative, gas-lighting little bundle of nerves with a name that fits the entire alphabet; chittaphon leechaiyapornkul. the bastard.  it’s hard to say if the little fruit started this act out of malice or pity. either way, the inflation of that plastic surgery monster’s ego was a strategically targeted hate crime on us all. why would he do that? why would he make an entire population of innocent nctzens trying to thirst over sexy little lee taeyong in silence endure the inflated ego of a 25 year old straight man that dresses like a geriatric patient? this, i cannot say. but one thing i do know for sure, is that ten deserves extended jail time for this horrid act of what, pity? ego? malice? on 10velys and johfam alike. all that’s left to say is,  i’m sorry johnny suh.

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

Here’s the third installment of my little fic. I’ll write more if there is enough interest, there will be SMUT.

Chance Meeting - Chapter Three

The Turtles and Reader

You could have heard a pin drop as you stood in the middle of their home staring at the giant rat. He made no sudden movements towards you, just sat quietly with his tail swishing softly behind him. His furry fingers lightly gripping the walking cane he bore some of his weight on.

So far no one down here had hurt you so you gave the rat the benefit of the doubt and remembered in your classes to bow to a master of ninjutsu. And you did just that bending at the waist lowering your eyes to the ground.

A soft chuckle of laughter came from deep within the rat before you. “My dear there is no need for that, but I see you’ve been trained by your own master or sensei. My name is Splinter and these are my sons. Please, would you care for anything to drink? I’m afraid we don’t get many visitors down here, so my son’s manors may be a bit rusty Ms…. um…. I’m sorry they have not told me your name yet.”

“Actually father, we don’t know it yet either. We needed to give Rebecca her number for questions about the attack, but we thought searching through her purse would be a little too presumptuous.” Donnie smiled awkwardly at you and the rat.

“Oh, oh ok thank you, I do appreciate that, my name is Y/N”. Then it sunk in. “Father? Sons?” your eyes went from the four mutant turtles back to the mutant rat. There was no freakin way they were related.

Leo stood from the couch and approached you his eyes locking with yours, “He raised us in the sewers after we were freed. He’s kept us alive and trained us to protect ourselves from the outside world. So he is our Sensei and father.”

He was so close to you, you could feel his warm breath on your face.  Was Leo this close to intimidate you because it was working. You couldn’t do anything but stare up into his mesmerizing eyes; you found the faint aroma of mint tea and a light oil of some kind. What seemed like hours he kept you locked with his gaze, not moving or saying anything just his rhythmic breathing and your thundering heart beat. Dear god you wanted to reach out and touch him, you could see the taught muscles roll beneath his green skin. “Pull it together.” You scolded yourself finally pulling your eyes from his. God your mouth was so dry, you did need a drink.

Leo let out a quiet huff of amusement seeing you getting so flustered by his closeness. He wondered if his brothers could smell the delicious scent you were giving off? April didn’t smell like this, or any other human female they had come in contact with in fact. You were different, and it was driving him crazy. They should have left you up on the street for Sargent Rebecca Vincent to deal with but the moment he touched you and took in your intoxicating smell he didn’t want to leave you alone with those thugs. He didn’t want to leave you ever again. What was wrong with him? You were just a normal human; no doubt scared to death of them and would tell everyone about them once they released you back above ground. Leo hoped he was wrong, he wanted to know more about you. Maybe he could get you alone, to find out where that smell was coming from? Maybe you’d let him taste it? “Calm down, you just met the woman.” He snapped at himself internally.

Brushing a long strand of hair behind your ear you turned to look back at the old rat and smiled, “Actually I am a little thirsty. Could I trouble someone for a glass of water?”

You could hear a ruckus behind you and spun around to see three of the four brothers running to the kitchen fighting for a glass. Ok, this was an intriguing development, you thought watching them fight to get you a glass of water. Except Leonardo, he stayed by you, still watching your every move, like you were going to do something to them? This massive hulk of a turtle was wary of a small human female that they had just helped?

Mikey had managed to win the tussle with the glass of water hopping over the metal banister from their kitchen down to you. Handing you the cup you took a long sip quenching the irritating dryness in the back of your throat. Man this had been a weird night…..was it night? What time was it?

You thanked the orange turtle for the water and handed him back the nearly glass and bent down near the couch to grab your phone. Pressing the side button, the numbers indicated it was well into the morning, 3am to be exact.

“Fuck! I uh…. Please thank you for your help tonight. I can never repay you for saving my life. But it’s early in the morning and I need to get home and try to get a little sleep before I have to get up for work in three and a half hours.” You moaned rubbing the bridge of your nose.

You could see the disappointment flash in all their eyes, you wanted to stay longer too. This was wild, and they were beyond exciting. You wanted to know more, how they came to be. Who else knew about their existence? But you had a life and needed to keep your job if you wanted to keep a roof over your head.

All four of them wanted to take you back to your car but Master Splinter only allowed Leonardo and Raphael take you, there was no need for four. Mikey and Donnie grumbled in frustration saying it wasn’t fair. Donnie got you first and stood awkwardly not sure how to say goodbye. He was so adorable with his brown eyes and gadgets that he strapped to himself. His broken glasses taped together made a smile tug at your lips. You reached out for his hand pulling him down for a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.” You chuckled seeing a red blush form across his cheeks.

Mikey nearly pushed the tall turtle out of the way and leaned down for his kiss which you gladly pressed to his green skin. “Thank you too Mikey.”

Raphael appeared before you holding a red pillow case with a poorly draw turtle face on the front.

“Gotta keep our home a secret so you gotta wear this on our way out, you understand right?” The large red brute gave you a sly smile pulling the musty fabric over your head before you could answer.

“I understa….” You mumbled under the makeshift hood but yelped when you felt a pair of large hands latch around your waist and hoist you up and over a large shell. “What the hell?!” you growled smacking the hard surface your face was now pressed against.

“Sorry Y/N, but you can’t see, therefore you need a seeing eye turtle.” You heard Leo chuckle beneath you patting the back of your thigh and then grabbing a hold of it to keep you steady. Then surprisingly you were moving without much jostling, they really were ninjas true to form. You couldn’t even hear the sound of their feet connect with the concrete.

If you weren’t already hyper aware of Leo’s every shift of muscle under your fingers as you steadied yourself you probably wouldn’t have noticed the subtle shift of his fingers on your thigh. It seemed with every foot fall his fingers inched to your inner thigh making the blood rush to your core. Why did he have this effect on you? You were a human and he was a towering mass of turtle and muscle but you couldn’t deny the blatant attraction to the blue turtle. Actually all four of them sent your blood racing.

As their pace slowed you found yourself disappointed at the loss of his warm hand on your thigh. Gently her lowered you from atop his shoulder and slid you down the front of his plastron. Your hands lingered on the hard surface for a moment before the hood was lifted. Blinking away the haze you fixed the wave of your hair over your face and stepped back. You were back in the alleyway they had saved you in but thankfully those horrid men were gone. You fiddled with your hair nervously wondering if you should ask if you’d see them again, see him again?

Raphael handed you your purse and leaned down to same level as your face. His olive eyes twinkled with mischief, his eye ridges waging. You let out an unintended giggle and took his face in your hands pressing your lips to his pebbled skin. “Thank you Raphael.”

“Anytime.” He growled playfully tapping your bicep with his knuckles.

“So will I see you guys again?” you finally spat out looking up at the two mutant turtles.

“Perhaps?” Leo grinned leaning down to press his lips to your cheek before they both jumped to the fire escape and disappeared onto the rooftops. You swear you could hear Raphael laughing as they made their way back home.

If your face wasn’t already beet red, it was now. The breath in our throat caught refusing to exit leaving you in perpetual breathless shock. You could still feel the moister from lips with the slight breeze form the night air. Well that just happened. If anyone else did that you would have knocked them into next Tuesday but this wasn’t the usual perv looking for some pussy. This was…….this was different. They could have had taken you every which way to Sunday and you wouldn’t have been able to anything about it. But they saved you, took you to their home to make sure you were alright, introduced you to their father and brought you back to your car safely. What a night!

Letting out a long sigh your lungs finally allowed to release you started towards your car and headed home. The usual 30 minute drive only took you 15 with it being so late. But even with it being so early in the morning the roads of New York still had cars and pedestrians littering the roadways.  

After a quick shower you pulled back your covers and crawled inside but found sleep was the farthest thing from your mind. Blue eyes were all you could focus on when you closed yours and you could swear you still heard his voice. It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Four

[artistkoo]

Not so badass boyfriend jk and the cockroach fiasco drabble ♡

wc: 1,700smthin (i added some sht rn so the wc got messed up)

warnings: cockroach death, mentions of the word cock & pussy, sexual themes, this is somewhat a crack drabble

this was inspired ofc by my favorite beings in the world: roaches. jk. i h8 them so much & theres so many in our house and i just wan di3 but i decided to write this shtsterpiece instead. anyway here it goes enjoy or wutevs! jk.

You were cuddling with your boyfriend Jungkook on the sofa in his dorm, while watching a movie with all of your friends, (all of the other bts members + you're all uni students btw) when an unwanted visitor decides to fly and land on top of jk's TV.

It was your most hated winged creature to ever exist on this entire fracking planet, and it doesn't help the fact that your mortal enemy could withstand a nuclear explosion. Although they aren't that invincible, and could easily be killed by being squashed, hit with a slipper, or by being sprayed with an insect spray. You still hate that a few of them can survive high levels of radioactivity. Anyway, going back to the bothersome cockroach that's stressing you a lot, maybe more than your weabooass-mayhaps-secretly-or-not-so-secretly-a-furry-gamer boyfriend, the horrid thing just flew again, now towards your direction. Making you flinch and scream a little, also making your boyfriend surprised by your sudden movement and screaming. "Baby are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone. "Guk...there's a jungcockroach. Kill it please, you know I hate it so much." you told him in a pleading voice.

"Where? and did you really have to call it jungcockroach?" he asked, and you looked around trying to find where the fck it is now, "Idk, it flew in our direction and oh- there it is! just right next to you on the wall! omg kill it! get it away from me!" you screamed, startling jungkook. Which also made him scream in his high pitched voice, because he was shocked. Your friends also wondered why you were screaming and shouting, and when they finally saw the reason why, they were alarmed too. Hoseok screamed and said, "OMG I'm going out of this room until you kill it. ohmygod I hate bugs!" Jin also screamed loud and decided to follow him out of the room. Joon, yoongi, jimin, and tae didn't seem too bothered. They just looked concerned for you.

The cockroach flew again, but it went to the floor, and crawled somewhere in the room. You weren't that scared of it now, that it wasn't flying anymore. But it still wasn't dead, and you were still a little afraid if it reappears, and flies again. Though, you could blame your boyfriend's scaredy ass for not killing it and just screaming at it. Like you did.

"Guk, why didn't you kill it? you just screamed like those undercover agent guys from that white chicks movie." you asked him, mocking the way he sounded a bit, cos he screamed like a girl. "In my defense, I was shookt because you screamed, which made me scream too." he said rather defensively. "Really? or is it because you're afraid of cockroaches like me too? oh my god. and I merely agreed to date you, because I thought someone would finally protect me and kill these pests for me. You were such a badass when i met you though, it turns out you're just as scared of them as I am. How saddening," you asked him, and joked about only dating him because you thought he'd kill these annoying pests for you. But he didn't quite get it and took it a bit seriously to which he replied,

"I just don't like them or bugs in general okay? It doesn't mean I'm scared of them. And what do you mean you merely agreed to date me because you thought I'd kill em for you? I clearly remember you saying, you'll date me because my big cock's a keeper." he said smugly, to which your friends faces wrinkled in disgust. "Um, guys we're still here, pls don't forget." Jimin had said.

"Sorry guys. But sure, whatever you say baby guk, don't worry I won't break up with you. Even though you're scared of bugs," you teased jungkook. "I really am not scared of damn cockroaches though, that pest should show up now. And I'll prove to you that I'm not scared of them." He said too proudly, and not long after, it did show up flying towards his shirt. He tried to fight it, but he shook it off his body instead. Staring at it wide-eyed after doing so til it fell to the ground, and jimin stomped it with his foot, and all his might, ending the nasty thing's pathetic life. "Well, you really proved you're not scared of them gukie. Thanks to jimin though," you said sarcastically. "Jimin ssi, you should become my new boyfriend. I'm breaking up with gukie, cos I need a brave man with real balls to protect me." you told jimin coming up to him, but you really just wanted to get jungkook worked up. Jungkook just glared at you looking annoyed. You actually succeeded in getting under his nerves.

While you were busy teasing jungkook, you didn't notice another cockroach appearing. But this time jungkook had an evil plan, "Um hyungs, why don't y'all go out for a bit. I'm just gonna talk to y/n about our relationship, or whatever that's left of it." he said, feigning to look angry, being like the great actor he is. Sensing that you and jk might have a couple fight, the hyungs obeyed and went out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

"Y/N, how unfortunate, it's just the two of us left, jimin can't protect you now." Jungkook said with an evil smirk. "What do you mean guk? he killed the cockroach already, I won't have to worry about one for awhile." you replied. Jk found it amusing you didn't even see another cockroach crawling towards you.

"Oh. But what if there's another one? idk baby, but I think that nasty thing crawling towards you looks like a fracking cockroach to me." He said triumphantly, and when you looked down, it was indeed another annoying roach. You moved away from it, but it looked like it was crawling towards the wall instead. "JK kill it please, I can't deal with another one again ughhh. Why won't they stop attacking me?" you were so annoyed and distressed, you just wanted to disappear forevs. "What's that baby? you want me to kill it? oh i dunno if I can though cos I'm so scared of bugs, maybe you could do it yourself since you're so brave. Or you could call jimin, but I think they went home already. Anyway, maybe I'm gonna go out for a bit. Goodluck with your friend..." his cocky ass said, heading for the door.

But he isn't really gonna leave you alone with that nasty pest right? you won't let him. "Ughhh baby I take it all back. You're not a coward, you're the strongest and bravest person in the world! so get rid of the nasty creature now pleaseee." you said loud enough so he can hear and reconsider leaving you to die by the hands of a dirty cockroach, "Really? just awhile ago, you were saying you were gonna leave me for jimin though. But since I'm a merciful being, I'll help you and do it, if you beg again nicely and do something for me in exchange." he wants you to beg again and do something for him, of course. "Fine. My brave and ever so handsome boyfriend, can you pretty please kill that cockroach for me? I was just kidding when I said I'll leave you for jimin sir, I would never choose another person who'll never have the same big dick energy as you. I'll certainly do anything you ask me to do in exchange."

"Well since you asked nicely, I'll get rid of it now for you, baby." he then approached the oblivious insect which was now at the wall, it didn't fly yet but before it could do so, jk had hit it with a book making the roach fall to the floor. He then proceeded to stomp on it, to make sure it wouldn't live anymore. "Done, that was gross. Oof. I didn't realize I used Jin hyung's book that I borrowed to kill it. Maybe I'll just tell him to wipe the cockroach's juices off of it." he said uncaringly.

"Ew. Shouldn't you wipe it yourself before you give it back, like a good person? Anyway, thanks for doing it for me baby, I knew you were still a bit scared but you still did it anyway. And I really was just joking when I said I only agreed to date you, so you could protect me. Ok, maybe that wasn't entirely false, but i love you, you brave bun perfect or not. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world." You were being soft, but he just had to remind you of the thing he asked for, in exchange of getting rid of the pest.

"I love you too baby, and I really wasn't scared anymore, because It was fun seeing you scared and wanting me to be your hero. I'm still not gonna wipe that roach's juices off jin hyung's book though, cos I don't feel like being a good person today. And about that thing I want you to do...I just want you to wash my dishes for a month, and don't bother me when I'm playing my video games. It's not too much isn't it?" he said smirking.

"Of course it isn't baby, though I guess you won't be getting a blowie or any type of action for a month then. We're not frickfracking for a month, how tragic. But my glowing fidget spinner anal plug and me will still enjoy, idk about your hand though," you retorted. "What? baby nooo. I changed my mind, you can annoy me anytime even when I'm playing, just don't take away my smashing privileges. I wouldn't last a day, without your pussy in my cock." he exclaimed.

"That's what I thought so. I'm gonna shower now my brave cockslayer, cos all that roach fiasco got me feeling nasty. you're more than welcome to join me if you like." you said, as you went to the bathroom to shower. "I'm coming, I wouldn't pass up a great opportunity to use my privileges, as always."

♡

A/N: sorry for the grammatical errors/typos as always. yk i can't write for sht but I still do bec it's fun to share my crack ideas w/fellow crackheads shsh. I tried to edit this but u cant rlly notice it cos i suck at writing 😂 anyway it's just a drabble bec i h8 flying cockroaches sm!

[haven-raven012591]

On a Sour Note

Elias X Genevieve

Word count: 2,980

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Cursing.

Summary: What will happen when Genevieve’s ex decides cause trouble between her and her new love? Will Elias and Genevieve grow stronger or will it all fall apart?

Art work by @wrestling-edits-af.

Gen was standing there watching as the love of her life played for people and insulted them. She giggled knowing that as soon as his match was over they'd go out to dinner and then back to the hotel. Or at least that's what she thought would happen. She was so engrossed in Elias that she didn't hear the heavy boot falls that marked the coming storm. Like distant thunder as the storm grew closer to her.

She felt the arm go around her shoulder and froze as she looked up to see two beautiful but angry blue eyes looking at her. “I get injured and you find some other guy to fall into bed with!” Dean snarled. Genevieve rolled his arm off her shoulders and locked eyes with Dean. “I wasn't the one that was cheating on me the whole time we were dating, with someone I considered a friend.” Genevieve snapped. Dean smirked and brushed her long red hair from her shoulders.  

“There's enough of me to go around baby, I can still handle two women.” Dean said. “You made a fool out of me Dean, you of all people should know how much that hurt me!” Genevieve fumed. He only laughed and leaned down to her ear. “If I can't have you no one will Gen, you're mine!” Dean whispered. She gasped as she saw Elias stop and take in the scene that was in front of him.

Genevieve shoved Dean away and slapped him. She ran to Elias and he shook his head. “What was that?” Elias growled. She licked her lips and closed her eyes. “Eli that was nothing I swear to you.” Genevieve said. He looked at her then at Dean smirking. “She's still as feisty as ever.” Dean said. Gen turned and looked at him. “You're an asshole Dean!” Genevieve shrieked. Elias took her hand and she turned to face him.

“Come on Gen, let's go il mio amore.” Elias said. She laced her fingers with his and they walked away. She looked into Elias's green eyes and smiled as he shut the door to his dressing room. “Eli I swear there's nothing going on.” Genevieve said. He put his guitar in the case and pulled her against his chest. “If I ever see you with him again I'll end him and then us.” Elias growled. She put her arms around his neck and played with his hair.

He rubbed up her back and kissed her deeply. She tangled her fingers into his hair and kissed him back with just as much passion. He picked her up and pinned her to the door as his lips trailed kisses from her lips to her collar bone. She sighed and moaned softly. “You're mine Genevieve.” Elias said. She melted a little more for him as he kissed her jawline and down the other side of her neck. “I've been yours for a while Eli.” Genevieve said softly. He looked up at her and she laid her forehead to his. “Nine months.” Elias whispered. She kissed him softly. “You picked me up and dusted me off when he told me the night he got injured, you sat with me and sang to me when I was sad.” Genevieve said. He put her down and she wrapped her arms around him as he kissed the top of her head. They went out and had dinner then they walked in the park. Now she laid tucked protectively against his chest wide awake.

He'd left what happened at the arena alone and she was happy about that. But now the old memories surfaced in her mind every time she tried to sleep. “Are you ok baby?” Elias asked as he rubbed her arm. She jumped a little hearing his voice out of the blue. “Just thinking go back to sleep.” Genevieve whispered kissing him softly. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kept her next to him. “Eli what are you doing?” Genevieve asked. He rolled them over and kissed her heatedly. “Stay in bed with me.” Elias whispered to her lips. She rubbed his arms and down his back. “I couldn't leave now if I wanted to you're squishing me.” Genevieve giggled. He kissed her again and she tangled her fingers in his hair and kept his lips to hers. He settled between her legs and she moaned into his lips as he thrust inside her. She pulled back and sighed as he kissed her neck. “Glad you slept naked baby.” Elias groaned softly.

“We'll how was I supposed to put clothes on when you had your big arms wrapped around me?” Genevieve teased. He laughed and pulled her hips closer as he thrust in her again. “Fuck.” Elias groaned. She moaned as he kissed and licked her breasts swirling his tongue around her nipples making them harder. “Eli!” Genevieve moaned louder. He kissed her as he picked up his pace. Her hand grabbed his biceps and moaned into his lips again. He pulled back and laid his head in her neck inhaling her scent. “You smell amazing.” Elias groaned as she dug her nails into his arms. “You feel so damn good Eli please don't stop.” Genevieve moaned. He grinned and cupped her breasts sucking her nipples one after the other as she arched off the bed. He was slow and methodical with her making her come undone. She grabbed his shoulders and moaned louder. “Elias!” Genevieve screamed as she came. “Genevieve!” Elias groaned a few minutes later as he came. She welcomed his weight on her as he laid there panting.

The next few days where happy for them as they were home and away from the drama. That was until Gen got a late night phone call. “Hello?” Genevieve said groggily into the phone. “I knew you'd pick up my call.” Dean said. “What are you doing calling me in the middle of the night?” Genevieve whispered. She got up and went to the bathroom. “I knew when I saw you two that you didn't love him.” Dean said. “Excuse you?” Genevieve said.

“You don't love him Gen you still love me.” Dean said. “Fuck off Dean.” Genevieve said and hung up. She went back to bed and Elias brought her close and she snuggled into his strong and reassuring embrace. She loved him and she knew she'd always loved him no matter what. Eli was her person, her soulmate. It was funny because up until him she didn't believe those things existed at least not for her.

But now with him everything seemed so easy and so free. She was free, that was one thing she'd never expected from a relationship. When she was with Dean it seemed so forced and they'd fight a lot. It's not that her and Elias didn't fight,they did all couples do but not like her and Dean. Her and Eli had disagreements is what she called them. Her and Dean had, had nothing but long horrid fights.

Elias rubbed her back as if sensing her discomfort. She sighed and kissed his bare chest and he grunted. “Shh baby.” Genevieve said. He pulled her tighter against himself and she closed her eyes now sure nothing could get her not even her past. They were packing to head out on the road for the weekend when Elias pulled her close.

“Who's been calling you so late this week?” Elias asked. She kissed him long and slow. “No one Eli.” Genevieve purred. “Oh no Gen, I'm not doing that now tell me who's calling you.” Elias said taking her hands. “Dean.” Genevieve said. “And you we're what gonna lie to me, get me in bed and hope I'd forget that you've been taking your ex's late night phone calls?” Elias snapped. “Eli I've just been answering them because it's late and they wake me up I've told him to fuck off every time, plus Dean is no one to me now.” Genevieve said. Elias stood there looking at her. Her deep forest green eyes and vibrant red hair gave her this other worldly quality about her. Like she was some wood nymph or elf.

He brought her close and she looked into his green eyes and smiled as her hands player with his long brown hair. She jumped into his arms and he growled as they stripped each other. Her off-white skin was in another ball park when it came to his own tanned flesh. He laid her on the bed and kissed her passionately as he thrust inside her. There was no time for foreplay and it was a pity he loved to make her cum a few times just with his fingers and his tongue before he made her cum all over his cock. She arched into him and gripped his shoulders and he gripped her thighs running his hands down them and back up to her hips. This made her back arch more and she gasped into the kiss. “Eli that feels so good baby.” Genevieve said softly. “I love how soft you are Gen, how warm and wet you always seem to be for me at any time of the day.” Elias whispered as he kissed her breasts repeatedly.

She licked her lips and moaned as he rolled her already hard nipples between his calloused fingers. It always managed to send shivers down her spine when he touched her like this, hell when he touched her at all. She ran her hands into his hair as he lowered his mouth to one nipple and swirled his tongue around it sucking softly as he flicked it now. She moaned again as he kissed between her breasts as he moved to the other nipple. Her body was like his guitar he could play any melody or rift on it and it would sing for him. Although she was moaning and closing to screaming for him other than singing for him but he really didn’t care he loved anything she did. His hands gripped her hips and she cried out his name as she came for the first time that night.

He groaned at the way the walls of her pussy tightened around him and squeezed his cock tighter. He palmed her ass and lifted her hips up as he pushed deeper into her making her cum again. “Elias.” Genevieve screamed as she held onto his forearms her back arched sharply off the back her head buried deep into the pillow. He laid her back down and caressed her hips and up to her cheek kissing them repeatedly. “Think you can do that once more my love and I’ll paint your walls with my own release.” Elias whispered and kissed behind her ear. “Yes.” Genevieve panted and whimpered as she rolled her hips. He laughed and kissed her passionately as he felt her shaking under him. His thrusts now became sloppy and hard as he was getting closer to his own release and she need him to do that she needed him to cum for her like she had for him.

He thrust his tongue inside her mouth and she moaned against his lips as she gripped his hair keeping his lips to hers. She rolled her hips and met every thrust of his with thrusts of her own. He growled and threw his head back yelling as he came hard. “Genevieve!” Elias roared and she followed him as soon as she felt him fill her. “Elias!” Genevieve moaned as she came for the third time. They both panted as he laid on top of her and she always welcomed his weight on her she loved it, it made her fells special and safe. Once they were able to talk he spoke first. “I love you Gen so much more than I thought I could ever love someone.” Elias said. She froze and looked at him. “Eli you know I love you the same I always have it seems like, I never loved him like this.” Genevieve said. He kissed her forehead and she held him tighter. “I don’t want you to leave me.” Genevieve said softly. Elias looked at her and kissed her passionately. “I’m never leaving you Genevieve.” Elias vowed looking into her eyes.

The way the lights picked up his eyes that night was eerie as hell it felt like something was about to happen and she knew that it wasn’t going to be good. Dean was behind him the next time she looked at the monitor. “No.” Genevieve whispered. She had to watch she knew she couldn’t go out there she wasn’t supposed to be on TV. Dean grabbed him and yanked him up slamming him into the turnbuckle and she gasped. Roman and Seth were out there as well watching his back. She didn’t know what to do so she stood there and watched as Dean beat him to a pulp on TV and to add insult to injury he smashed Elias’s guitar over his head. Genevieve had, had enough she ran out and slid into the ring slapping dean knocking him off balance. She got on her knees and moved Elias’s hair from his face and kissed him softly. “Gen.” Elias whispered. She nodded and took his hand. “Who else would be kissing you handsome?” Genevieve asked teasingly.

“I need your help.” Elias said. She helped him up and got him to the trainer’s room. They didn’t need to send him to the hospital and that was a good thing. When thy got to the hotel he took a long hot shower and she waited for him to come out knowing that he would be pissed off at her when he got out. He got out and laid down on the bed with her. “I have him next week and I for one cannot wait to repay him for this.” Elias growled. “I guess you want me to find another hotel room and to move out when we get home?” Genevieve asked tentatively. “I want you to be with me next week I’ve cleared it with Stephanie and Triple H.” Elias said. “Eli.” Genevieve whispered and sniffed. He sat up and pulled her into his arms. “Shh my love I don’t blame you for this he choose to do this and he will pay for it.” Elias said. She looked up and he kissed her tenderly. “I am in love with you silly woman and he is not breaking us up that is all he is trying to do and I will not let him win.” Elias said.

Genevieve’s cell rang and she answered it without looking. “Ready to leave him now since I broke his face?” Dean laughed. “I love Elias more than I ever loved you Dean and you are not going to come between me and him.” Genevieve said. She hung up and Elias smiled kissing her softly. “That’s MY Girl.” Elias said. She laughed and they laid back and watched a movie. He rubbed her back and kissed her forehead as she slept in his arms that night he just couldn’t sleep he had too much on his mind. They hadn’t been together long but he loved her more than anything or anyone else outside his family. That was another thing his family loved her. When they spent Christmas with his parents and sisters they had raved about her to him after the Holiday was over.

The week and weekend went by so quick Genevieve wasn’t sure that it had happened at all. There she stood in an Elias shirt and jeans as she walked down the ramp with him for his match. Once the spotlight was on him she was moved back up the ramp to sit with the commentary team. They talked some during his performance but she never said a word. It wasn’t until Deans music started did she start to feel nervous and like she was going to throw up. She hated what he had become but she wasn’t about to leave Elias out there alone either. The match started and they went at it.

Elias had him on his ass in the middle of the ring with his neck at an odd angle putting pressure on it. When Dean got out of that they traded blows in the center of the ring until Elias gave him an upper cut that put him on his knees. Dean got up and shoved Elias into the corner delivering shoulder after shoulder into Elias’s midsection. Genevieve was on the edge of her seat the whole match until Dean was about to give Elias Dirty deeds and Elias turned it into Drift away and pinned him for the win. Genevieve ran down to the ring and jumped into his arms kissing him passionately. Elias held her tightly and stroked her hair as he put her on her feet. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere Gen, I love you baby.” Elias said. “I love you too.” Genevieve said.

They went to the back and he kissed her again. She ran her hands over him and he smiled as he pulled back. “I want to ask you something Gen.” Elias said. “I’m all ears Eli.” Genevieve said softly. He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. “Will you marry me Genevieve?” Elias asked softly. He held her hands in his and she teared up as he pulled the ring box from his guitar case. “Yes.” Genevieve said. He stood up and slid the ring on her hand and brushed away her tears. “I guess this means I always get to walk with Elias.” Genevieve said giggling. “Yes.” Elias said. She kissed him long and slow and he held her tightly as he stroked her long red hair. “I love you Elias.” Genevieve said. “I love you too Genevieve.” Elias said.

@team-elias @thegloriousdisaster @scuzmunkie @kittysilver86 @alexnine @2sweetqueen @loveroflive78 @iwritewwe @soulofaravenheartofawolf @crayzeebizkit @livelifebeautifully81 @wrestlingxbalorxrollins @balordominion @adriennegabriella @briqueenofthenorth @hardyfangirl3 @lauri3strode @calwitch @meremaidqueen @dolphinpink310

[learnprogress]

WATCH: Top Trump Official Laughs At Women Who Will Lose Birth Control

Thanks to President Trump, many women could lose access to their birth control. But White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders doesn’t care, and even laughed at the prospect.

Trump made a shocking move against women this week. He rolled back an Obamacare provision that forces employers to cover birth control for women.

Trump’s still embarrassed by his inability to repeal Obamacare. So he decided to make his base happy by repealing part of Obamacare.

Trump’s supporters say the move is all about religious freedom. But it’s really about denying women the health benefits they need.

The ACLU and other civil rights organizations immediately criticized the move. And they’re threatening to sue Trump to reinstate the rule.

But Sanders took a stand against women’s rights with her comments about Trump’s move. She proved that she has her boss’s back, even if she has to betray American women.

Fox Business Network correspondent Blake Burman asked Huckabee Sanders about the millions of women who could lose their access to birth control. But Huckabee Sanders’ response was horrid.

She actually laughed at the question. Then she suggested that anyone who disagrees with Trump’s decision is against the Constitution.

http://ift.tt/2giZbS0

Sanders replied, “This is a president who supports the First Amendment, supports [laughs] the freedom of religion — I don’t understand why that should be an issue. The Supreme Court has validated this decision, certainly, many times over, and the president is somebody who believes in the Constitution.”

Then she said, “If people don’t like what the Constitution says, they should talk to Congress about changing it.”

Sanders is lying though. Trump’s move has nothing to do with the Constitution.

Nor does it have anything to do with the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court hasn’t even heard a case about this issue yet.

It has everything to do with Trump firing up his Christian base by denying health services to women. That’s because the religious right feels their rights are oppressed when they have to cover birth control services.

POLL: Does the Trump administration hate women?

President Trump just rolled back an Obamacare Rule that protects women’s accesss to contraception.

Trump and the GOP have also fought to remove protections for women’s health benefits in their Trumpcare bill.

Dos the Trump administration hate women? Share your opinion in the poll below.

This is just the latest move by Trump against women, though. He’s built his presidency on demeaning women and rolling back their rights.

For instance, we saw Trump talking with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush about sexually assaulting women. He even declared that he likes to “grab them by the pussy.”

Trump and the Republicans also tried to eliminate women’s services from Trumpcare. That even included maternity care among other things.

And Trump and the GOP wanted to make rape a ‘pre-existing condition.” Then, to add insult to injury, they tried to allow insurers to charge more for pre-existing conditions.

Trump is a complete misogynist who has no respect for women. And now his staff, even his female staff, are backing up his chauvinism.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders should apologize to women everywhere for her insensitive remarks. Share this story on Facebook if you agree!

The post WATCH: Top Trump Official Laughs At Women Who Will Lose Birth Control appeared first on Learn Progress.

from WATCH: Top Trump Official Laughs At Women Who Will Lose Birth Control

[lordsbladeladyciaran42o]

The reporter.

So you just ignore that and act like it never happened? Than why did you tell her she was special? Why didn’t you listen to her the first time? She loved you. She warned you…

She’s trapped you know, so deeply disturbed it hurts her knowing who she is and what she has done.you knew that and you didn’t care, how do you know she isn’t okay? How do you know you won’t be one of her so called 13 reasons why? She is sick.. She is broken.

You came in like a bad dream. A consistent game.. Of “I understand you”.. “Talk to life coaches”..“ Sponsors changed my life” bullshit.

Not one moment of my life do I feel free. Or true but only now in the freedom of what I write I dont give a fuck if you ever read this or see it but you are the reason I’m back in the horrid emotional place. Back to a part I swore I wouldn’t be afraid of and thanks to you and my experience with you I have officially shut my love to only ones who deserve it. Who know me so thanks for the memories that will haunt me for the rest of my existence. You are nothing but the problem with why women don’t fuck with men like you.. Ladies a wolf in sheeps clothing.. A judgemental reporter Spartan jock who’s completely out of your league.

The truth is you used her weekness to your advantage.. Control freak, talks down to me thinking I a female couldn’t know anything about gaming or sports. Proved you wrong there wasn’t a feature you liked I guess I would just ruin it for you.

Anyway you wanted and said all of that in the hopes of fucking my cunt and guess what, you never did. Because I’m all these other things it was too much your move was cumming up so you wanted pussy before your big move ha.. To think she was special.. Got a. Question how man my girls have you said that too?

I hope you can rest your head without thinking of her..because me? Well I’ll be here but ill. Never forget. You.

Xoxo Mrs.go fuck yourself🙅🖕🗑🐍

[worldsandcenturiesfunposting]

Trump’s Bad Day : ( A Political Fanfiction for Intellectuals

It was another day in the White House and President Trump was not happy. As per usual, he woke up before the sun even rose to take his routine shit and Twitter time. Unlike those loser Presidents from the past, Trump knew the best method of proclaiming his word to the masses was at 140 characters at a time. If that’s how much he’s able to read, certainly it must be how much the rest of the country is capable of as well.

He looked around the historic building, clenching his butt cheeks in hopes of making it to the restroom on time. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find his phone! He looked under his high chair but couldn’t find it nor did he find it on his desk underneath the multitude of crayon’d in pages of the 2016 election results. It wasn’t even in that special spot in Ivanka’s room that coincidentally gave whatever’s placed there a perfect view of where she changes. 

The excruciating exercise he went through searching for it was draining his limited life force. His hands sweated greatly, unable to even grasp the big boy little spoons he uses to eat his delicious two scoops. The dye in his hair was starting to run down his face, making him look like an orange/lemon blend. 

At last, he couldn’t take it anymore. He slumped over on the floor and had to finally release himself. It was the same feeling he got when he passed legislations.

When the sun rose and the rest of the staff attended to their duties, Mike Pence found both Trump and Bannon sleeping on top of one another. At some point while it was still dark, the head of Brietbart drunkenly stumbled in, tripped on his boss, and fell asleep as well. When trying to remove the ungodly mix of alcohol and adipose tissue of of the President, Pence once again smelled a horrid odor that was all too familiar with him after these 100-something days of Trump’s presidency. 

“Donald, again?” He sighed. 

Even in sleep, Trump giggled.

It wasn’t until an hour later that Trump was dragged back to his room, cleaned, changed, and given a set of new clothes. Pence insisted he wear a normal tie that day but Trump refused to abide.

“I want the long one!”

“You can’t wear the long one, Donald. It’s too long. You’ll trip over it!”

“I WANT THE BIG BOY TIE!”

A familiar site to the electroshock therapy enthusiast, Trump started jumping up and down in a fit of rage. At times, he’d run over to the wall and start pounding on it, making such little noise, it was as if a fly had slammed into it. 

“BIG TIE BIG TIE BIG TIE BIG TIE BIG TIE-”

He droned on and on, and tears started to stream down his face. finally Pence threw his hands in the air and said “Alright! Fuck it! You can have the big boy tie!”

Like a flick of a switch, Trump stopped his tantrum and beamed a huge grin in Pence’s direction. “I’m a bigly good deal maker, Pence. You should know this.” He pointed at his VP and snatched the tie from his hands. 

“If only you could negotiate a law to kill the faggots, Trump.”

“I’ll make that deal when the dems stop obst-obstric-ob-ob...blocking me!”

“The dems are the minority in everything, Trump. They have no real control over congress or the senate or anything!”

“Killery’s emails say that the deep state is actually controlling them. Don’t you read Bread-bart?”

--

When they walked out, they found Bannon in the same spot on the floor. Somehow in his sleep, the man managed to gather dozens of bottles of gin seemingly out of thin air. Groggily, he started to get up.

“Uh bu ughuhu...are the fuckin’ kikes dead yet?”

“No, Bannon.” Pence replied dryly. 

“Thosuh fugg fuking guh hook noses th-I ughu I wish the Holocaust was real fo then uthu would be gon!”

“That’s nice, Bannon. We need you to help Trump sign a bill for our corporate masters.”

“It’s going to be a biiiiiiigly bill, Uncle Bannon!”

Bannon complied. He pissed himself first, but ultimately he stumbled behind the two which made Donald giggle over how silly his uncle was being. All the while Bannon was trying to tell Donald about how the white race was being bred out of existence and how to use secret code words like ‘N1gger’ or ‘k1ke’ to trick normies into spreading nazi propaganda. his words weren’t at all clear and Donald simply giggled most of the time, but somewhere in Trump’s mind, he was absorbing that information.

Before Bannon could call for a race war, he slumped over again and threw up on the back of Pence’s shoes before falling sleep entirely.

“Uh oh, Uncle Bannon had an accident!”

Pence remained silent, seething to himself that one day congress will stop worrying about what a bunch of frog posters thought of them and impeach Trump. How much longer must I endure this? Dead God! Dear mother! Someone help!

They continued on. Trump skipped the whole say singing ‘Bigly bill’ over and over and occasionally telling Pence he had to sing along. 

When they arrived in the oval office, Trump ran over to his seat, lost breath half way, sharted, and then walked the rest of the way. With a wet plop, he sat down and banged his fist on the desk.

“No more fun and games. It’s time to put my big boy pants on and do some work!”

Pence walked up behind Trump and reached into a drawer, brushing aside many drawings of Trump punching Hillary and pulled out the bill his boss was supposed to sign. 

“What’s the bill, Mike?”

“Fuck the poor, take away their health care and let them fucking die by Paul Ryan.”

“Paul Ronald? I love that guy!”

Pence’s eye twitched. In his mind, he was at a cross roads between screaming about homosexuality and letting Trump’s little outburst slip. He knew his pussy grabbing boss was a good Christian who didn’t approve of gays, but what he said disturbed him on a spiritual level.

“I mean, he’s not me or anything, but Paul Renalds, I know him. He’s a great guy, believe me. I remember when I met him, I met him way back ago, he said I was supposed to be President because he knows a good deal maker when he sees one. I make the best deals, believe me, they’re the best. My deals with Paul Rogers, he looks at my deals and he agrees to them because they’re the best. Believe me, Paul Roomba, he knows my deals. This deal here, it’s the best. The best deal. And his eyes are cute!”

Pence finally had to excuse himself, leaving the President alone to sign the bill. It occurred to Trump how strange the situation was. Normally when he signs bills into law, he has everyone stand in the room with him so they can congratulate him on what a big boy thing he was doing. Where was everyone?

“This was supposed to be a bigly moment. I want my praise!” He whined and screamed and pounded, but no one came in. Not even his famous tantrumps would sway the universe this time.

Slowly the gears in his head started turning His buddies in the GOP really tried to push this bill through fast. Kushner said they were doing it before Hillary emails about it on her private server. What was so special about the bill?

He reached over on his desk and grasped it in his hands. Squinting his eyes, for the first time in years he tried to read. “F-f-fuuuuuck t-tha pooor, tac...tic? Take! Take away thi-thir? Heat-ha...”

Sweat dripped from his brow as he slowly stumbled through the title. “bie..Pool Reean...Oh Pool Ransom! I love that guy! I made a deal with him earlier, and he agreed to it saying I make the best deals. The best. I remember making a deal in Saudeyrabba with those darkies, I gave them bigly amounts of weapons for money. Such a good deal. The best deal, believe me. The un were mad for some crap about human rights or whatever, but they’re just liblosers who don’t know good deals. Not like me, I make the best deals. Like I made a deal with Bannon the other day, it was such a good deal! The best and...oh shoot! I lost my place!” He sighed heavily and moved his eyes to the top of the page. 

Hours later, Pence came in, having obtained written permission by his wife to be able to hear any vaguely homosexual things from Trump even if she isn’t there. “Have you signed the bill yet, sir?”

“By pool Reea-Mikey! You made me lose my place! I don’t wanna lose like Shillery!”

--

Ultimately the bill wasn’t signed that day. Trump got bored of reading and instead drew a picture of his magnificent wall on the back. Completely irate but trying to keep his cool, Pence congratulated Trump on the wonderful drawing and said they could try again tomorrow while he stuck the picture to the fridge with all the other bills Donald didn’t sign. 

Their moment was interrupted by Kusher whose voice I have no idea what it sounds like so I’m assuming it sounds something like Kermit the Frog. He came in and stomped his foot. “Daaaaaaaaaady! The feds are being mean to me!” 

In Trump’s mind, he was so flattered. Kusher reminded Trump of himself when he was younger and asking his own father for a tiny loan of a million dollars. Ivanka, that hot piece of ass, really knows how to pick a man. But wait! If Ivanka picked Kushner, then she didn’t pick him! He was getting cucked! Uncle Bannon was right! Kusher was a dirty penny pinching jew boy who should be shoved in the oven and turned into a cake!

“Now Kusher, you know what I told you about handling the deep state.”

“Daaaaad, sending my body guard over to fire their leader didn’t work for meeeeeeee!”

“Kushner, if it worked for me, it’s bigly good. The best idea, believe me. I remember when Comey was giving me trouble, trying to investigate me and Russia. My relations with Putin, I don’t have them. I may have talked to him and agreed to win the election for him so he can systematically destroy the US from the inside out by telling me to appoint the most egregiously incompetent and malicious cabinet in presidential history who have a vested interest in destroying the very organizations they were chosen to run thus ensuring the US has very little power or influence over the world and weakening the pressure put on Russia which in turn would allow Putin to gain more influence over others...buuuuuuut I never met him, believe me! Bigly no no on meeting him!”

“Well if you don’t help me with this then I’ll I’ll I’ll I’ll I’ll tell Ivanka!”

Trump leaped in the air. “Not Ivanka!”

“T-That’s right! I’ll tell her about this, daddy!”

“Okay okay! I’ll help!”

He ran out of the kitchen and out of the White House doors. For the first time, he had enough energy to do so. The prospect of losing his daughter’s affection would drive a man to do anything. At least that’s what Trump thought. When he was on the White House lawn, he finally stopped and wondered.

“Where does the feds work again? Gosh, who knew government could be so complicated?”

--

Dinner in the White House was supposed to be a special time. Everyone was gathered around ready to congratulate Trump on signing the bill and ensuring thousands of people would die, but were sorely disappointed when the learned that Trump tried to actually read the bill, failed to get past the title, and gave up. Still, they had to congratulate him lest the man throw another tantrump and ruin the dinner.

“An amazing job, your highness!” Rence Preibus said, raising his glass. 

“Your leadership is the best! Way better than that fucking nigger was. One day, I’m going to go to his house and put a bullet in his nigglet kids, but your kids, you have the best genes. We’re the master race, Trump!” A keebler elf said. Most people call him Jess Sessions. 

“I...have to use the restroo-” General Mattis was about to say before getting cut off. 

“Those fucking niggers, can you believe they were in here? Once I roll back the war on drugs, all of those shit skins are going away. Every fuckin’ one of them!” 

“Anyways, I’m going to leave n-”

“And the mexicans? They’re nigger lite! They’ll get it too. I’ll fuckin’ arrest them all! I swear on me lucky charms, I’ll fuckin’ arrest them all like the rabid squirrels who attacked my magical woodland kingdom. Those squirrels were fuckin’ niggers!”

Kelly Conway was ready to speak up. She was assured that there were no microwaves in the room at the moment. However, Mike Pence stopped her. “Women are to be seen, not heard, Kelly.”

“I for one am very happy for you, Trump. Not even Hitler was able to pass legislation!” Spicer beamed.

Bannon slammed both fists on the table. “Are you sayin’ tha h- *hic* Hitler, MY FUHRER, isn’t good enough?” He was ready to crawl up and strangle Spicer. “M-I-ighguhu va da b-both of us u-ughnggh”

Not even able to present a coherent thought, he passed out on his mashed potatoes. Kusher rose from his seat and pulled out a sharpie from his pocket, drawing several Stars of David on the drunk’s face. 

A turtle spoke up. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to pass our health care bill, but you’ll get it next time! We’ll get rid of those poor people together, and it’ll be your victory!” McConnell tried his best to hide his burning anger. Those poors will get to live another day because of his. Paul Ryan looked him in the eyes and nodded knowingly. Both of their dreams were squashed. 

“I dreamed about taking away health care from poor people since my college days,” Ryan said, “with you in charge, we’ll surely do that!”

Everyone else sang their praises, and then began to feast. Only Pence and Trump didn’t eat. The former because his wife hadn’t given him permission yet and the latter because when he looked down, he noticed that his food wasn’t a well done steak with extra ketchup but instead a massive log of shit. 

“COMEY!” He shouted, flipping his plate onto Pence. “He did this! He’s always doing this! Why does he keep bullying me! I want him to stop now now now now now!”

Pence tried to comfort him. “How do you know it was Comey, sir?”

“Because he’s a fuckin’ meanie!”

“You fired him weeks ago. he doesn’t have access to our kitchen.”

“He used the deep state to do it! I know it! The whole thing’s rigged! Bigly bad!”

Trump started to straight up cry and rolled out of his high chair. Not even three scoops of ice cream would satisfy him now. 

“I want him to stop now! I want the feds to stop attacking me! I want my documents to stop being leaked! I want them to ignore Russia now! Putin said this would be easy but it’s not! It’s difficult! It’s not easy peasy lemon squeasy like he said!”

Most of them had fled the room save for Kusher and Pence who spent the next several hours trying to consolidate him.

--

It was the first time in a long while since he heard his father’s voice. Barron Trump was in the middle of building a massive wall in Minecraft in hopes that his father will notice him, and while every previous attempt failed, he was sure it would work this time. He’d bet his fidget spinner on it!

As if a miracle from God, Trump entered his room and called his name. 

“Barron, I need help with the cyber!”

“D-dad?”

“I need you to hack into the FBI and remove everything they have on me and Russia!”

“Okay, dad! I’ll do my best!”

Trump slammed the door shut and Barron got straight to work. The moment went so fast but it felt like forever. Finally, he was communicated to! He was acknowledged! Using every bit of skill he had, he remotely accessed the FBI’s database and scanned through the files, trying to find any that looked relevant to the investigation between Trump and Russia. 

“Let’s see... aliens, JFK, Atlantas, big foot, little foot, 9/11, the moon landing...”

So many files; it was enough to overwhelm a kid. But Barron was an expert with a mission in mind. He wouldn’t let anything stand in his way. 

“Wait, this stuff looks good.”

When he opened the data base labeled ‘Putin and orange retard’, he was treated to a page with thousands of different files connecting Trump, his administration, and the Russians. There were pictures, scans of documents, text files, and even videos.

“Wow, I wonder what dad was doing with them.”

He clicked on video titles ‘pee tapes’ and minutes later from the halls, the staff could hear his screams.

--

Trump was scouting through the different rooms in the White House. Inside one was his wife being triple penetrated by secret service members. “Melina or whatever, have you seen Ivanka?”

“No!”

“Ok.”

He left unaware that he was being cucked. In another room was Sessions pulling on a rope that was attached to the ceiling fan while some voice, distinctly black, was gasping for air just out of view.

“I barely recognized you in your white hood. Have you seen Ivanka?”

“No.”

“Ok.”

A third room had Spicer and Bannon wresting for alcohol. Spicer was ranting about wanting to make the pain go away while Bannon just made several drunken antisemetic slurs. 

“Hey have you seen Ivanka anywhere?”

They both shook their heads before Bannon finally snatched the bottle away, flipped it to its narrow side, and smashed it over Spicer’s head. The man was knocked out and the alcohol was spilled, forcing Bannon to crawl on top of Spicer and lick it off his unconscious body. 

“Boy, Pence would be mad at that!”

Finally, Trump entered a room and found Ivanka. She was dressed in the sluttiest attire she had and laying in her bed, leads spread apart. Trump was already trying to pull his pants down, having difficulty moving his gut so he can unbuckle his belt, but wasn’t even able to do that when he saw Kusher walk up and climb on top of his daughter. 

“Kushner, stop cucking meeeeee!” He whined.

Ivanka didn’t react. Her mind was incapable of processing anything beyond fashion design and money. She sat there with wide open glassy eyes and a mouth slightly agape while Kusher himself turned around and looked Trump in the eyes. 

“Stop it now, Kushner!” 

“No!”

“I said now! Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!”

Kusher walked over and slammed the door shut. Donald pounded on it with his tiny hands but couldn’t break through. He cried and yelled and rolled on the floor, calling for ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis to launch a nuclear strike against the room and kill Kusher but to no success. 

“I’m telling Putin on you!” He screamed again before finally leaving. Once again he crawled back into his bed all alone and could do nothing but watch the news. Fox, the only real news channel, was reporting on how Trump single handedly cured cancer while the fake news channels were talking about how Muller continues to hire the absolute best lawyers and prosecutors the country has to offer. Trump yelled at the TV to stop Muller from continuing, often mistaking Muller for Comey, but it was no use. No matter how much he cried, the TV didn’t show the investigation stopping. 

He knew that morning, he would have such a rant to post on Twitter. It was a bad day. : (