#now to go pass the eff out
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Holy CRAP the UN Cybercrime Treaty is a nightmare
Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!
If there's one thing I learned from all my years as an NGO delegate to UN specialized agencies, it's that UN treaties are dangerous, liable to capture by unholy alliances of authoritarian states and rapacious global capitalists.
Most of my UN work was on copyright and "paracopyright," and my track record was 2:0; I helped kill a terrible treaty (the WIPO Broadcast Treaty) and helped pass a great one (the Marrakesh Treaty on the rights of people with disabilities to access copyrighted works):
https://www.wipo.int/treaties/en/ip/marrakesh/
It's been many years since I had to shave and stuff myself into a suit and tie and go to Geneva, and I don't miss it – and thankfully, I have colleagues who do that work, better than I ever did. Yesterday, I heard from one such EFF colleague, Katitza Rodriguez, about the Cybercrime Treaty, which is about to pass, and which is, to put it mildly, terrifying:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/07/un-cybercrime-draft-convention-dangerously-expands-state-surveillance-powers
Look, cybercrime is a real thing, from pig butchering to ransomware, and there's real, global harms that can be attributed to it. Cybercrime is transnational, making it hard for cops in any one jurisdiction to handle it. So there's a reason to think about formal international standards for fighting cybercrime.
But that's not what's in the Cybercrime Treaty.
Here's a quick sketch of the significant defects in the Cybercrime Treaty.
The treaty has an extremely loose definition of cybercrime, and that looseness is deliberate. In authoritarian states like China and Russia (whose delegations are the driving force behind this treaty), "cybercrime" has come to mean "anything the government disfavors, if you do it with a computer." "Cybercrime" can mean online criticism of the government, or professions of religious belief, or material supporting LGBTQ rights.
Nations that sign up to the Cybercrime Treaty will be obliged to help other nations fight "cybercrime" – however those nations define it. They'll be required to provide surveillance data – for example, by forcing online services within their borders to cough up their users' private data, or even to pressure employees to install back-doors in their systems for ongoing monitoring.
These obligations to aid in surveillance are mandatory, but much of the Cybercrime Treaty is optional. What's optional? The human rights safeguards. Member states "should" or "may" create standards for legality, necessity, proportionality, non-discrimination, and legitimate purpose. But even if they do, the treaty can oblige them to assist in surveillance orders that originate with other states that decided not to create these standards.
When that happens, the citizens of the affected states may never find out about it. There are eight articles in the treaty that establish obligations for indefinite secrecy regarding surveillance undertaken on behalf of other signatories. That means that your government may be asked to spy on you and the people you love, they may order employees of tech companies to backdoor your account and devices, and that fact will remain secret forever. Forget challenging these sneak-and-peek orders in court – you won't even know about them:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/06/un-cybercrime-draft-convention-blank-check-unchecked-surveillance-abuses
Now here's the kicker: while this treaty creates broad powers to fight things governments dislike, simply by branding them "cybercrime," it actually undermines the fight against cybercrime itself. Most cybercrime involves exploiting security defects in devices and services – think of ransomware attacks – and the Cybercrime Treaty endangers the security researchers who point out these defects, creating grave criminal liability for the people we rely on to warn us when the tech vendors we rely upon have put us at risk.
This is the granddaddy of tech free speech fights. Since the paper tape days, researchers who discovered defects in critical systems have been intimidated, threatened, sued and even imprisoned for blowing the whistle. Tech giants insist that they should have a veto over who can publish true facts about the defects in their products, and dress up this demand as concern over security. "If you tell bad guys about the mistakes we made, they will exploit those bugs and harm our users. You should tell us about those bugs, sure, but only we can decide when it's the right time for our users and customers to find out about them."
When it comes to warnings about the defects in their own products, corporations have an irreconcilable conflict of interest. Time and again, we've seen corporations rationalize their way into suppressing or ignoring bug reports. Sometimes, they simply delay the warning until they've concluded a merger or secured a board vote on executive compensation.
Sometimes, they decide that a bug is really a feature – like when Facebook decided not to do anything about the fact that anyone could enumerate the full membership of any Facebook group (including, for example, members of a support group for people with cancer). This group enumeration bug was actually a part of the company's advertising targeting system, so they decided to let it stand, rather than re-engineer their surveillance advertising business.
The idea that users are safer when bugs are kept secret is called "security through obscurity" and no one believes in it – except corporate executives. As Bruce Schneier says, "Anyone can design a system that is so secure that they themselves can't break it. That doesn't mean it's secure – it just means that it's secure against people stupider than the system's designer":
The history of massive, brutal cybersecurity breaches is an unbroken string of heartbreakingly naive confidence in security through obscurity:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/05/battery-vampire/#drained
But despite this, the idea that some bugs should be kept secret and allowed to fester has powerful champions: a public-private partnership of corporate execs, government spy agencies and cyber-arms dealers. Agencies like the NSA and CIA have huge teams toiling away to discover defects in widely used products. These defects put the populations of their home countries in grave danger, but rather than reporting them, the spy agencies hoard these defects.
The spy agencies have an official doctrine defending this reckless practice: they call it "NOBUS," which stands for "No One But Us." As in: "No one but us is smart enough to find these bugs, so we can keep them secret and use them attack our adversaries, without worrying about those adversaries using them to attack the people we are sworn to protect."
NOBUS is empirically wrong. In the 2010s, we saw a string of leaked NSA and CIA cyberweapons. One of these, "Eternalblue" was incorporated into off-the-shelf ransomware, leading to the ransomware epidemic that rages even today. You can thank the NSA's decision to hoard – rather than disclose and patch – the Eternalblue exploit for the ransoming of cities like Baltimore, hospitals up and down the country, and an oil pipeline:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EternalBlue
The leak of these cyberweapons didn't just provide raw material for the world's cybercriminals, it also provided data for researchers. A study of CIA and NSA NOBUS defects found that there was a one-in-five chance of a bug that had been hoarded by a spy agency being independently discovered by a criminal, weaponized, and released into the wild.
Not every government has the wherewithal to staff its own defect-mining operation, but that's where the private sector steps in. Cyber-arms dealers like the NSO Group find or buy security defects in widely used products and services and turn them into products – military-grade cyberweapons that are used to attack human rights groups, opposition figures, and journalists:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/24/breaking-the-news/#kingdom
A good Cybercrime Treaty would recognize the perverse incentives that create the coalition to keep us from knowing which products we can trust and which ones we should avoid. It would shut down companies like the NSO Group, ban spy agencies from hoarding defects, and establish an absolute defense for security researchers who reveal true facts about defects.
Instead, the Cybercrime Treaty creates new obligations on signatories to help other countries' cops and courts silence and punish security researchers who make these true disclosures, ensuring that spies and criminals will know which products aren't safe to use, but we won't (until it's too late):
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/06/if-not-amended-states-must-reject-flawed-draft-un-cybercrime-convention
A Cybercrime Treaty is a good idea, and even this Cybercrime Treaty could be salvaged. The member-states have it in their power to accept proposed revisions that would protect human rights and security researchers, narrow the definition of "cybercrime," and mandate transparency. They could establish member states' powers to refuse illegitimate requests from other countries:
https://www.eff.org/press/releases/media-briefing-eff-partners-warn-un-member-states-are-poised-approve-dangerou
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/23/expanded-spying-powers/#in-russia-crime-cybers-you
Image: EFF https://www.eff.org/files/banner_library/cybercrime-2024-2b.jpg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us/
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The Heart Killers' Colors? - Ep. 6
I got my bizcochitos and boozy and spicy cinnamon dark hot chocolate (not champurrado, never champurrado), so I'm tipsy, jolly, and ready to watch episode six of The Heart Killers for Joong.
I mean for Fadel.
WAIT! I mean for colors!
Eff the colors! I'm here for water-based lube and condoms! Thank goodness for parents who advocate for safe sex, so I can get myself together after seeing Fadel do the walk of NO shame since Fadel should not feel ashamed for enjoying sex! Thanks, dad, for reminding me of my priorities!
Hold up! Are we switching to Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of Venice now?! Because that story dealt with lies and manipulation leading to multiple murders, and we all believe Mother has lied and manipulated these boys into killing others for her own agenda. *sips boozy hot chocolate*
Black Brooder Fadel is lightening up but is wearing red and Red Rascal Bison is wearing blue, so does this mean Style is a Red Rascal and Kant is a Blue Boy? I think the behind-the-scenes people are lying to me.
Style is wearing red again! And Kant is still on his bullshit, but they are sitting at a blue covered table. Does that mean anything?
It would be easier if Kant was a Green Guy (or even a Yellow Yal). It just makes more sense!
Because, regardless of what Bison thinks about blue, he is a Red Rascal.
See! Look at the blue disappear when he becomes passionate!
And a Green Guy would complement him and his aggressive and passionate personality. He would balance him out, and he would be the chill to Bison's no-chill self. They'd be chiles! They'd be Christmas!
And Style would make far more sense as a Red Rascal because of the way he brings out Fadel's desires!
Are you really a Blue Boy, Style?! I don't know because Dunk's arms are distracting me!
But I do know that I would go anywhere and do anything for this man just like Style does. If Fadel wanted to go to Top Golf, I'd go to that stupid frat bro place for my man. If Fadel wanted to go hunting in the woods for a week, I, a vegetarian, would go sit with him in silence for eight to twelve hours a day and make just enough noise to warn the animals, so he couldn't shoot any of them. And if he wanted me to eat Colorado green chile, I would NEVER DO IT because that's fake green chile and a stew, but I'd watch him eat it (while I eat Hatch like a proper person). That's the power of Joong Fadel.
Alexa, play Letters from Cleo's version of "I Want You to Want Me" from 10 Things I Hate About You!
Didn't I see you cryin' Feelin' all alone without a friend You know you feel like dyin' Oh didn't I see you cryin' I want you to want me I need you to need me I'd love you to love me I'm beggin' you to beg me
This is literally the only color I trust in this show right now, Cinematographer Rath.
BECAUSE PINK = 💕LOVE💕
Oh, thank goodness, the brothers are back to their true colors, and by that I mean chloroforming people until they pass out.
WHAT ARE YOUR COLORS?! JUST TELL ME ALREADY!
Now is not the time to serve cunt. Put those tits back in, you two!
Interesting that Mother is not in full red, but like a dulled orange-ish red.
Even more interesting that Keen matches her. I'd be wary of this kid if I was Bison and Fadel.
Kant is now giving me Beetlejuice and Foot Locker realness, but, thankfully, Style is offering me up some of that Blue Boy-ness I keep hearing about. Yes, Style, be loyal to your man! You are in love with a criminal and this type isn't rational; it's physical.
WHY ARE YOU WEARING RED AGAIN THOUGH?! Is it for love?! Fadel is, once again, light. He loves you too, Style. HE LOVES YOU TOO!
Bison is fully back in red now, and I do not think it's because of 💕love💕. 😬😬😬
Kant thought he was going to put Bison behind bars.
But it's about to get very gay and murderous up in here. In the words of one of my favorite Kesha songs, "This place about to blow" and not how Bison usually does it for Kant.
Kant, this twink is going to end you.
That's what you get for not showing your true color.
#the heart killers#the colors mean things#color coded boys in love#I love this for Bison#he deserves to hurt a man#especially one who won't show his real color#episode six
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𝕲𝖔𝖑𝖉
Zhongli x reincarnated gn!reader Angst » comfort(?) An: Hi. Wow, my recent stories suck :3 Finals are tomorrow but I love procastination! Warnings: Reader death, graphic descriptions of blood and violence. Summary: Gold is a precious jewel that glimmers even in the darkness. It is able to withstand even the most powerful forces with mere dents that can be flawlessly fixed. It's only weakness is that when it's old and brittle, it shatters, if not thrown away first.
--
To Rex Lapis, you were an interesting soul. An Adepti with a profound curiousity in humans. Most of your kind hardly bothered with such things, deeming them trivial. Every week, without fail, you made it a point to drag the geo archon to Liyue, giggling at how he managed to seem surprised with your timing at every instance of this happening. "Aren't humans amazing?" You whisper in awe, glancing down from where you were sitting. This excursion had led you both to the quiet peak of a mountain overlooking Liyue. It was breathtaking, to say the least. "They have such short lifespans yet they manage to have so many industrious inventions!" You were pointing at the 'windmill' of the humans. A simple, yet valuable contraption, he supposed. Yet Rex Lapis's eyes were not focused on that human made object-no. His eyes slowly trailed to your gleaming features beside him, leaning close to the cliffs end. You were smiling... "You look beautiful when your excited." He hardly knew why he said that, it was a mere passing thought he should have kept to himself. Yet...the look on your face was well worth it. You gave him a teasing smirk, "Aww, but you can't switch the roles here! You'll be pretty, I'll be hot." He let out chuckle, his eyes twinkling with amusement, "You can be both." He mused affectionately, his hands settling beside him. His chest felt extremely warm, which was odd. He didn't recall any tea having this side effe- ...his cheeks were warm too now. His hand was about to cover his face in embarassment, already starting to turn away before your hands reached out to hold him. "Who knew you got flustered this easily?" You observed, pleased. It was undeniably cute, after all.
"Every journey has its final day. Don't rush." -- To Morax, you were a dearest companion. A trustworthy ally in battle, and a comforting presence over tea. He had witnessed great a many betrayals, both intentional and not. Yet you stayed steadfast by his side, his ever-loyal subordinate. Battles had already caught Liyue in fire within the span of a year. Friends, partners, even enemies met desolate ends at the hands of countless monsters emerging from the abyss. It was a horrific event, new wounds scorning the land so deep many wondered whether they would ever heal. Morax was not spared his fate either, forced to watch with a steady hand as his nation's people were slaughtered by the thousands infront of him. Blood painted almost sickeningly welcoming landscapes every battle, marking a grave for the deceased and scaring the survivors. As every battle closed, the remaining would slowly trudge away from the garish sights, making their way for 'home'. Morax was no different, dismissing his warriors before plodding to the home you shared, every step closer to you seeming lighter. Until he noticed the specks of blood on an open door. "Y/n?" His voice tensed as he quickly made his way to the front, hesitating to come inside. His mind started to conjure up the worst possibility, his thoughts still in the battlefied. No. That wasn't going to happen. He closed his eyes and braced himself, steeling his breaths. Taking out his spear, already in position to fight anything that may be threatening you, he burst open the door, breath heaving with almost petrifying fear. Morax was about to get into a offensive stance before- "...!" There was nothing to fight. The job was over, and he couldn't even attempt to stop it. "Y/n..!" Crimson pooled the area around you, painting the floor a gruesome work of art. Your face was pale, the usual welcoming smile brutally wiped clean. You...didn't seem to be breathing. "My dear...?" Morax whispered, his voice shaking as he knelt next to you, putting a hand on your pulse point.
He closed his eyes, desperately waiting, hoping for any sign you were alive. After all, you were the one who told him and promised him that eternity would be your bond. A few seconds passed like bricks, each one adding weight to his shoulders. Reality started to crash into his face. As if they the world needed one more person from him. No. No. If they did need another person from him then take them. Anyone. Please. Anyone but you. More time passed, the only sound in the area being the faint rustle of leaves and Morax's heavy breaths. "No...w-what? T-thats. No." Morax looked down, tears starting to fall from his eyes. The great geo archon started to cry, grabbing your shoulder, "No...no...Y-Y/n. I order you to stay a-alive. I'll reward you...I'll reward you greatly." He managed, burrying his face into your cold neck, his tears cleansing some of the blood littering your cheeks. His heart froze up in pure terror and denial. No, no. His wordless cries soon turned into a chant of your name being repeated like a mantra, over and over again. As if doing that would bring you back. Would stop this war. Idiotic of him. "My dear-my love, look at me. Please, please look at me. Live. Please." See? He was begging you. The proud god had never knelt so fervently to anyone before. So you'd definitely heed his request. You needed to. But no. You were a traitor too. You disobeyed him "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember... But where are those who share the memory?"
-- To Zhongli you were distant memory filled with love. One he'd remenisce about every day. He would smile as he passed by the cities of Liyue, knowing how pleased you would be with the human's growth. You would definitely light up and recite what you knew about them from books. All the other adepti had joked that you talked more than the geo archon himself. "..." Wouldn't it be funny to admit his knowledge he was prided for mostly came from you? You would have giggled. Thats all that mattered. "I love you my dear..." Zhongli whispered to the wind, a stray tear falling down his cheek. He had never mourned you enough, and will never, hm? Though in the moment,he could almost hear the breeze whisper back the affirmation. He chuckled, "Ahh...Perhaps I am going senile." " Should the day ever come that we are not together, you will continue to shine like gold in my memories."
"My dear."
#Zhongli#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin characters#genshin#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#zhongli angst#zhongli x gn reader#zhongli genshin#genshin impact zhongli#angst#genshin angst#genshin x you#silly#fanfic#angst fanfic#genshin fanfic#Zhongli my beloved#Not proofread or reread#angst with comfort#ish#It's 11 pm rn lol
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can you write a fluff where like gavi and the reader go out with friends but they argue before they leave and the reader is just anxious the entire time and gavi notices so they go home and gavi just comforts the reader and they cuddle and go to sleep. please <3
Always There
"Are you ready?" Pablo said walking into your bedroom seeing you finishing your makeup quietly. You had a mini argument a few hours back and since you rarely fought, it was really affecting you.
Pablo said he needed to cancel your next date because of the training session that Xavi added last minute and since you were so excited about it you got mad that it's not happening after all.
You of course understood that his career is important, and are always his biggest supporter but haven't really spent much time with him lately made the frustration build in both of you.
"You won't be cold?" he said after you finished putting on your shoes and you just shook your head without a word. No amor..or princesa..or preciosa :(
When you left, Pablo followed behind you locking the apartment door before opening your car door and driving to meet his friends.
When you arrived to the outside bar, you already felt goosebumps appear on your skin but you but you would rather freeze to death than tell Pablo you were cold right now.
"Hola amigos!" Ansu was excited to see you both as were other players and you all joined them ordering some drinks. When Frankie and Mikky came, you sat besides her instead of Pablo and he just groaned quietly to himself. He hated not feeling you besides him but was too stubborn to pull you back!
“ why don’t you just ask him for his jacket amiga? You’re shaking!” Mikky said and I shook my head no although I already thought about the same thing. Luckily a few moment later, Pablo noticed my ghost bumps and walked up to me to put his jacket over my shoulders without a word.
He went back to his friends afterwards and I blushed hard feeling his strong perfume surround me as his jacket began warming me up. Mikky giggled at my blushing cheeks.
“ you guys are too cute!!” She said and that made me blush more stealing a glance at Pablo while sipping my tea feeling much better now. When he looked back, I quickly looked away feeling so silly and the same I felt the first time we saw each other.
Another half an hour passed and Pablo kept stealing glances with you until he couldn’t take it anymore walking up to where you sat and leaning in to whisper in your ear.
“Um..amor? Do you want to go home??” He says and you blush hard feeling extra anxious the whole time and now that he was this close to you it made your heart skip around. Not to mention he was calling you amor again!!
“Yes please” you look up giving him the most adorable look and he smiled nodding his head and kissing your forehead before the two of you got to you me feet and said bye to everyone.
While driving, you were anxiously looking through the window afraid of meeting eyes with Pablo but then you felt his hand taking yours and placing it on his lap while holding it. You looked at your connected hands before finally meeting his eyes and you both smiled.
“Fights are so stupid..and I just want to forget about it” Pablo spoke first and you were so glad you both thought the same thing.
“I’m sorry I got angry when you told me..I know it’s something you can’t control” you said knowing when to accept your fault and he smiled bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it gently before parking the car into the garage.
“I shouldn’t have called you needy because you’re not. You’re such a supportive girlfriend and the best one en todo el mundo!” He said after opening your door and you blushed snaking you hands around his neck and he pulled you in closer for a tight hug. You’ve been craving this for so long..
“Amor..you’re shaking. What’s wrong preciosa?? Tell you Pablito” he said kissing your head while you walked into your shared apartment. You suffered from anxiety disorder and sometimes the effects are felt hours later.
“ I got so scared you’re gonna leave me..and it made me anxious..I’m sorry” you say and he sighed nodding his head and pulling you to sit together on the couch. Pablo knew about your anxiety and always made sure to pay special attention to what you need in those moments.
“We said you should never apologize about this amor..it’s okay..I’m right here” he said playing with your hair knowing you enjoy just being close in moments like these. He never minded reassuring you when you needed.
“Tell me what you need guapa” he said after a few minutes of being quiet and letting you hold onto him and take your time breathing.
“Hmm can I have some ice cream?? And cuddles please!” You say pouting and Pablo chuckled while nodding his head and running to the kitchen to bring your tub of ice cream.
“Nothing ice cream can’t fix,huh guapa?” He teased while you ate it and you nodded smiling not noticing the vanilla cream on your chin. He moved closer cleaning it up with his finger then putting it into his mouth and you blushed.
“I like how shy you get around me..you couldn’t look at me while we were out” he teased some more making your cheeks bright red and you hid your face into his neck in response.
“You made me nervous!! I wanted to hug you but I couldn’t because we were angry” you whine putting ice cream away and sitting in his lap to give him a big hug.
“Awe preciosa! You can always hug me..always” he said and you giggled nodding your head and hugging him tightly while he held you against himself tightly starting to play with your hair.
“You’re making me sleepy Pablitoo..” you say looking up at him with a pout on your face and he pours as well which was always so adorable to see.
“That’s good preciosa..you can fall asleep here on my chest and I’ll carry you to bed” he said kissing the top of your head continuing to stroke your curls as slowly closed your eyes cuddling up to him loving the way his strong arms held you tightly.
It brought you peace that no matter the arguments, Pablo will always be right by your side at the end❤️
#pablo gavi#pablo gavi icons#pablo gavi x reader#pablo gavi x y/n#pablo gavi x you#fc barca#fc barcelona#fc barça#gavi#gavigif#pablo gavira#pablo martín páez gavira#gavira#gavi x yn#gavi x reader#gavi x vini#gavi x you#gavi paez
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Before, After, and Forever - Chapter 3
Aaron Hotchner x fem!OC (Anya Decker)
Summary: Agent Decker is a phenomenal agent. She has been through hell and back and is unwilling to open her heart. But what happens when Agent Decker’s case lands in the BAU’s hands? What happens when it is decided that she is an asset to the team? And, most importantly, what happens when she meet the unit chief?
Series cw: canon topics, killers, hostages, rape mention, torture, scars, nightmares, flashbacks, slow burn, mentions of eating and body insecurity, yelling
Chapter cw: canon topics: killing, crime scenes
--
"He spent time here. Look at the ground, no prints… more time means more mistakes. There must be something he left behind." She walked around the house, weaving through all the rooms when she finally spots something.
--
The body was left in the bedroom and right against the door frame was a little bit of blood. Small enough that most would not notice, but Decker had a keen eye.
"Look." Decker got Hotch's attention. Rossi followed right behind him.
"Partial print. Good eye Decker." Rossi said.
"Let's get this sent to a lab and see if it's a match to any we have in the system." Hotch commented heading out.
"That's a start, but it won't be enough. We need to work to narrow down our scope of search. He isn't just picking these women randomly off the street. There has to be something connecting them. He's motivated. There is a reason he kills." Decker's comment stopped him
"He's becoming more unhinged. The previous killings maybe, but this could just be pure rage or a break from his pattern."
"No it's not. It's all planned. This can't be random. It was planned in London and it's planned here." Decker was slowly but surely getting on Hotch's nerves.
“Yes, but he can deviate from the pattern-“
“But he won’t. He won’t. Look at how specific this fantasy is. He won’t change, he doesn’t want to change. It’s just going to keep getting worse. We need to find him as soon as possible.”
“And how do you suggest we do that Agent Decker?”
"Keep looking." Decker sends him a glare.
After the evening and next morning of sorting through evidence, they finally had a break. Garcia had found a link between the victims. They had all called electricians prior to their murder. It seemed like he left London because they were getting too close there. What he hadn't expected was that they would connect the dots.
The takedown was simple once they found him. Dennis Hoffshire. His wife passed away and was looking to recreate the fantasy with the women. When they didn't cooperate, he has to kill them. They were able to take him down right as he was checking in for work. After at least 10 known murders internationally, he was done.
He was found with his newest victim, the team thankfully able to get her to safety.
The team got back to the hotel late that night and it made sense to stay the night and fly in the morning, getting straight into work once they reached the office.
That morning, the team had piled back onto the jet, eager to get back home. But they were all still curious, about Anya. No one knew much about her, but they were determined.
"So Decker, which team are you going to next?" JJ asked, hoping to strike up a conversation.
"I don't really know yet. As of right now I work support on many undercovers so I'll be heading to the main building once we get off." Anya had settled herself in the back of the jet hoping to get her paperwork done prior to landing.
"You work undercovers?" Emily asked.
"It's determined on a case by case basis, on need basically. They need me tonight so I have to go."
"What case is is?" Morgan asked. But in response he only got a bored stare from Decker. She obviously couldn't say.
"What's been your most interesting case?" Spencer asked. He knew she had been working at the FBI for years.
Anya was a little bit of a legend at the FBI. You could hear whispers about the women with the highest case solved rate and her incredible efficiency. You would hear talks about how good she was with a gun and how she had taken down crowds of people double her size. No one had brought it up, but everyone knew.
"There was one where we had someone go undercover in a cult. That was certainly... interesting. Group mentality, that sort of thing." Anya looked up to answer his question and looks straight back down to do her work.
The conversation stopped after that. She obviously didn't want to talk and had a lot of work to finish. Everyone retreated to their seats to get some rest before landing. Once landed everyone dropped their things off at their desks and headed home to freshen up. Anya, however, followed Hotch into his office.
"Thank you all for your help, I really appreciate it." She started.
"Not a problem. I was great getting to work with you."
"I know you run a tight ship around here, Agent Hotchner. So I apologized if I stepped on any toes. I meant no disrespect." Anya never really felt the need to explain herself, but this time she thought that if would do her some good. She had a feeling she would be seeing the team again.
"It's not a problem Agent Decker, I understand. It was a honor, we know the prestige your name has around here."
"It's nothing of the sort really."
"So they're rumors?" Hotchner asked. He knew the answer. And he knew she was just trying to be humble.
"Things aren't always what they seem. Anyways, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to give me a call." Anya passed him her business card, a card that could come in handy later down the line when the BAU found themselves in some trouble. With that she also placed her completed files on his desk.
"Thank you again. You have an incredible team."
"Of course."
With that Anya was off and Hotch gathered his things to head home as well before coming in later in the day.
To the teams surprise, they walked in to coffee on their desks. A different one for each of them, the coffee they liked accompanied with a sweet treat.
"My brave crime fighters, which one of you lovely people brought everyone coffee?" Garcia asked walking in with her coffee and muffin. She was even more confused with the lack of response from everyone.
"I thought it was you?" JJ asked Garcia
"No..."
Rossi stepped out of his office and walked down into the bullpen. Seeing everyone's confused faces he commented, "Decker".
Everyone looked at each other in surprise. She had gotten all their coffee orders right. Her way of saying thank you.
"Aww... and I didn't even get to say thank you." Garcia said sadly.
#aaron#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#criminal minds
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<PERSEPHONE> IT IS DONE. THE ORDEAL IS PASSED. THE BOMBS AS FALLEN, THE GUNS HAVE FIRED THEIR LAST. OUT OF THE RUINS THEY CRAWL AND LIMP AND STAGGER. THEY WILL SURVIVE. MOST OF THEM AT LEAST. THE LAMB HAS CERTAINLY DODGED DEATH TODAY. IT HAS FELT THE BUTCHERS LOVING TOUCH. HIS SCARRED, ACHING HANDS RAN THROUGH ITS BLOODIED FUR. HE DID NOT REACH FOR HIS CLEAVER, HE BROUGHT NO DIVINE DEATH. NOT TODAY. TODAY THE LAMB LIVES.
BUT TOMORROW?
TOMORROW IT WALKS.
[attached file :: The_Lamb_and_the_Butcher_1.omif]
The file is odd. It is not clean or clear. There are no security cameras within 341-Z-A's room, at least one would assume as much. But there is a video, with audio even. Yet at first glance it would appear corrupted, there is grain to the video, and it seems to jump and skip repeatedly. The audio is also distorted, echoing a thousand times, like a choir crying out. While appearing immediately low quality, it is in fact hundreds, if not thousands, of individual, extremely high quality videos woven together as a digital quilt. Someone with the right tech and skills could pan to see the entire room encompassed, in excruciating detail. Someone with the right skills could also clean this footage, perhaps choose a singular view, cut the choirs throat.. But the file is not clean, the video is terrible, the audio should be a crime. It is beautiful and awful and honestly hurts to watch. This, thing, is cl-<LEGION SPACE INTRUSION DETECTED :: AND WHAT DO YOUR EYES SEE LITTLE SHEPARD? WHAT GLORY DO YOU GLIMPSE THROUGH THE HOLES IN YOUR CREAKING COFFIN?>-early recorded through Persephone's eyes.
The room is not large, but not cramped either. 341's bed, and the accompanying medical equipment, take up half the room. Machines whir and buzz, adding to the white noise backdrop of an active ship. Medical personnel scurry about, checking the readouts, adjusting the machines. An NHP casket, one could assu-<A CAGE, A PRISON, A CRUEL SHACKLE WROUGHT FROM HATE AND PARANOIA. YOU COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT YOUR LAMB>-me APMS, lies in the corner. Wires run from its cas-<COFFIN>-ket, around the edges of the room, to the myriad of machines. One screen shows levels of different drugs present in 341's body, it changes constantly, slightly, according to APMS's control.
On his bed, 341's eyes are open, wild, and terrified. He struggles against chemical chains, effe-<THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE? ALL YOU DO FOR YOUR LOST LAMB? A TRAP? A SNARE? A MUZZLE?>-ctively and divisively paralyzed. There are tears in his eyes, fearful, awful, acrid tears. He seems, at least for moment, oblivious to Brigand's approach. Brigand looks tired, hea-<MY BUTCHER. EXHAUSTED SO. PERHAPS WE ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT. FOR ALL MY POWER I CANNOT MAKE HIM REST. HE IS DEDICATED. HE IS RIDDEN WITH GUILT.>-vy, dark bags hang from his eyes. His posture is slumped somewhat. He leans heavy on Persephone to hide his limp. His prosthesis are uncared for, spotted with rust and grime. His eyes immediately soften as they land on 341. Brigand gives Persephone a reassuring look and a pat on the arm, before letting her go to take his place at the bed. The video clearly shifts as Persephone takes a place in a corner of the room. Next to APMS. The doc-<KNOW THIS AND KNOW IT WELL SHEPARD. IF YOUR LAMB SEEKS TO HARM MY BUTCHER. YOU WILL WATCH IT DIE. WATCH IT DIE TERRIFIED. WATCH IT DIE TERRIBLE. AND THEN YOU WILL LIVE WITH GUILT.>-tors glance at her, at the camera, nervously, a mix of fear and adoration on their faces.
Brigand, the moment he lets Persephone go, is in clear pain. A grimace on his face as he limps to the bed. He stands down the doctors, who offer him aid to cross the short gap from the door to the bed. He lowers himself slowly down onto the bedside, taking care not to crush or jostle 341. As he settles, he is panting, sweat beading on his forehead. He ju-<ITS IN THEIR HANDS NOW SHEPARD. WE MAY ONLY WATCH. PERHAPS PRAY? DO YOU BELIEVE RA COULD SAVE THEM? SAVE THE LAMB AND THE BUTCHER FROM THEMSELVES?>-st sits there for a long moment, silent, brow furrowed, clearly deep in thought. Then, slowly, surely, Brigand turns to face 341. He stares into it's eyes, leaking and fearful, with his own, full of pain and guilt.
Its as if the world holds it breath for a but a moment. Before Brigand, slow as moving mountains, reaches out his hand to wipe away the tears. Leaving dirty smudges on 341's ghostly skin. H-<DONT YOU WISH YOU COULD TOUCH THE LAMB? RUN FINGERS THROUGH ITS HAIR? COMFORT IT YOURSELF? PROTECT IT YOURSELF?>-e takes his time to dry its eyes, using the cuff of his jacket once he realizes the marks he's left. 341's tears slow, as does their breathing, gradually. Brigand lays a hand on its shoulder, squeezing gently before speaking.
"You're alright lad, you've made it out..." He trails off, thinking on the precise wording. "Better than most, honestly, lotta folks didn't make it out as whole as you, hell you've made it out better than I have in the past eh?" He tries to laugh as he flexes his left hand, servos whirring, joints squeaking ever so slightly. The laugh does not reach his eyes, it dies as he glances back at 341's terrified face, As he watches 341 struggle to speak. 341 clearly fighting the diminishing paralytics administered by APMS. When it does finally find its voice, it is rough, probably the first time its talked since the 30 hour war.
"We failed, we… I failed, I– I will be terminated–”
"Ah no you won't lad. You. Are. Safe. Ye didn't fail. I am here. APMS is here. We survived, y'hear?"
341 seems to be gaining more and more control by the minute, it's face still contorted by fear, eyes wild. It stammers as it speaks, quickly, like some dam inside has broken down.
"No, no, no, no, no. I f- I-I failed. M-M-Mission incomplete. Termination pend-" It's stammering is cut off, as Brigand draws it into a deep hug, burying it's face in his shoulder. The monitors around the room show immediate changes all pointing towards a significant calming effect upon 341. From what little of it is seen from beneath Brigand's bulk, it is clearly calmed by the gesture. Brigand holds it in the hug for a long while. Small sobs can be heard just above the whirring of the machines. After a while, the sobs slow, becoming quiet, when Brigand speaks his voice is soft, he does not release 341.
"I am your handler now 341. I will not terminate you. APMS will not terminate you. Not even Persephone will terminate you. You did not fail. If you must blame anyone, Signal failed, Corsair failed, your handlers failed. You understand lad?"
Brigand holds 341, even after he has finished. 341 is motionless, the sobbing has stopped. Brigand pulls away, holding 341 at arms length, looking it in the eyes. Brigands eyes are hard now, 341's are red and puffy, but the tears are gone.
"Say it with me 341: You. Are. Safe."
"I. . . A-Am. . . S-S-Safe. . ." 341's voice is shaky still, but coming back to it's nor-<WHY MUST THE BUTCHER CONSOLE THE LAMB? DOES THE LAMB NOT LISTEN TO ITS SHEPARD? WHAT HAS THE SHEPARD DONE FOR THIS TO HAPPEN?>-mal monotone.
"There we go lad, that's the spirit. Now mean it." His voices turns deadly serious as he finishes. His grip tightens on 341's shoulders. His eyes are cold. But it does not answer, instead 341 goes silent, eyes downcast. The silence is broken by a mechanical scream. An alarm blares as 341's heart rate spikes. Brigand do-<THIS LAMB IS SUCH A BROKEN THING. YOU CALL THIS YOUR PILOT? THIS LIMP SACK OF ROTTING MEAT? PERHAPS NEITHER OF YOU ARE WORTHY OF MY BUTCHER.>-es not let go, he does look away. He speaks again, a dangerous edge to his voice now.
"Z-341-A. You are safe here. On my ship, amongst my crew, under my protection. I will give you time to learn this fact, and you will learn it well, eventually, that's an order aye?"
341 is still for a moment, it's heart rate slowly descends to an acceptable level. Then it me-<WILL BUTCHER BREAK OR MAKE THE LAMB?>-ets Brigand's eye and speaks.
"Yes, Sir."
341's voice ha-<SO THE LAMB IS MADE SOMETHING NEW. SOMETHING GREATER? OR SOMETHING FAR WORSE?>-s returned near to normal, only a slight quiver remains. Brigand's face softens, his grip on 341's shoulders loosens. He pulls back his left hand, and offers 341 a metallic handshake, wearing a wide grin.
"Welcome to the crew, 341."
341 does not hesitate, it takes Brigand's hand, shakes it firm as it can, and meets his eye.
"Thank you, Sir."
"Good lad, good lad, I'll let you rest then, 'least for the moment. Let you and APMS talk. If you need anything at all, APMS can contact me. Tomorrow we start to turn your swords to plowshares!"
Brigand laughs, sl-<REMEMBER I AM WATCHING SHEPARD. REMEMBER NOW YOU WORK FOR THE BUTCHER.>-aps 341 on the shoulder (probably too hard) and slowly makes his way to his feet. He motions Persephone over, taking her arm as the two of them head for the door. In the doorway he pauses, and shouts over his shoulder:
"One last thing, 341. You did good kid."
With that, the loving captains are gone, 341 is left alone with APMS and its thoughts. Perhaps curiously, the "camera" did not follow Persephone and Brigand out the door...
<TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR PILOT, APMS. YOU WILL ONLY HAVE THE ONE.>
[File Playback Finished]
#gannascus moment#persephone watches#Demeter's Bounty#Z-341-A#APMS-341-A#oc rp blog#lancer ttrpg#oc rp#pilot oc#lancer pilot#lancer rp#lancer rpg#lancerrpg#lancer
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HGUC 1/144 E.F.S.F Prototype Long-Range Support Mobile Suit RX-75 "Guntank"
Guntank is here!! I was initially hesitant on picking up this kit, as it's one of the older HGs from 2000. I'd seen online that it has pretty limited articulation. However I saw it in store for only $17 and couldn't pass it up.
The kit is pretty small, with only four main runners, a polycap runner, and a set of rubber treads (which admittedly smelt as though they'd been in the box since 2000). Unlike modern model kit rubber treads as you'd find in a Tamiya tank kit, they're a solid part more similar to the HGUC Gouf's heat rod, and simply clip into a hole on the bottom of the tank's road wheels. The biggest disappointment being that the wheels and tracks don't move at all.
Being a kit without any hands, the Guntank lacks any accessories, but to be honest it doesn't really need them. The guns on the hands and shoulders look really nice with a bit of weathering, although the shoulder cannons come in two halves so you'll need to deal with a seam down the middle. I used some plastic cement but you can still kinda see it if you look closely.
It's a pretty plain kit with limited surface detail for panel lining, and no sticker sheet, so I spruced it up with some decals and heavy weathering. This is a combination of the official Bandai multi-use Mobile Suit Gundam EFF decals for the Guntank, the Xingfeng knockoff decal spares for the GM Spartan, and some spare tank decals from my Tamiya kits. I think the overall effect makes it fit in super well with the busy Origin gunpla. As usual, the Bandai decals were a pain and tore pretty easily, but look pretty great on the kit.
I weathered this using a heavy sponging of black, as well as mixing some browns and my orange rust to mimic the rusty appearance on the box art (as well as cover up torn decals). I also drybrushed silver over the high points and used my Tamiya weathering sets (D and C) to add heat blueing to the guns and rust and soot everywhere else, as well as some oil stains on the rear vents.
There's a little Hayato modeled in the cockpit. Usually I'm not for painting 1/144 scale people but he's pretty prominent behind the windscreen so I gave it a go.
He's a little smudgy but I think it turned out well. Here's the image I referenced.
Now I've finally completed my UC 0079 White Base crew!
Pictured here left to right are my HGUC Ball, HGUC Cucuruz Doan's Island Guncannon, HGUC Origin RX-78-02, this Guntank, and HGUC Origin GM Missile Pod.
Overall the Guntank is a very simple and fun little build. Like any tank kit the wheels area little tedious to cut out and sand, but it's otherwise quick and enjoyable. It's a cheap kit so great to try out painting techniques on as well.
Get one today!
#gunpla#my gunpla#hg gunpla#plamo#model building#gundam#mobile suit gundam#mobile suit gundam '79#guntank#rx-75#hayato#hayato kobayashi
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IWTV S2 - Three spicy/spoilery reviews
The reviewers are just saying whatever they want, I guess! O_O
Here's my favorite bits from TheWrap, ComicBook, and IGN.
I've decided to mix and match them, comparing what they each say about similar themes/topics/reveals.
ELEVATING THE SOURCE MATERIAL
TELL IT! It's about adding DEPTH, y'all, not just a 1:1 page-to-screen.
Intellectual horror, instead of psychological horror--fascinating.
An "even more authentic adaptation" -- WE BEEN KNEW!!! I roll my eyes at book stans who hate on the show, acting like the movie was more accurate just cuz it was set during slavery times with white actors. 🙄 Like PLEASE, there's so much missing from the movie, or glossed over, or straight up changed, that the show-antis just demonstrate how shallow they are when their every attack hinges on the timeline/race/age changes. Cry harder.
MORE elevated than Season 1--you love to see it.
Yaaas, bring on the petty melodramatic mess, and fierce performances! 👏
CLAUDIA & MADELEINE
Because Bailey used profanity to convey her agony being a woman trapped in an adolescent's body in S1 too, I'm assuming Delainey will just cuss more? But cussing is all over the show, so I don't get it.
Everyone keeps raving about Roxane as Madeleine, but they've been SO CLOSE-LIPPED about her scenes, and it's KILLING me. 😭
"Deeply willful around Louis"--yeah, we saw a glimpse of that in the trailer; it's what he deserves. Give 'em hell, Claudia!
And yeah, she's PISSED that they cast her as Baby LouLou--imagine, being infantalized, and given the name of the father you've already gone through so much to emancipate yourself from as a "Brother" instead of "Daddy Lou." 😒 Eff Louis--where's Claudia's scythe at!?
LOUIS / LOUMAND
"Nonsense--" TheWrap isn't holding back a single punch huh?
"dating show contestants feigning authenticity to clumsily present themselves in the best light--" oof. 💀
Holy god; "begging the question...if Louis has just traded one abuser for another" GO AWF! 🚩🚩🚩
DANIEL / DEVIL'S MINION
Wow, so this must refer to Episode 5 from the episode titles list released recently. "Genuine horror".... 😈
RIP. 💀 Youngmaniel might see some action, but Oldmaniel's "utterly allergic and adversarial;" OOF. 💀💀
ARMAND
They keep saying petty. 😅 These messy queens are a trip!
"Far more powerful" -- I am SEATED~! I wanna see THE coven master!
Yaaas, come through Children of Satan/Darkness acolyte! 😈
"Scarred and transformed by the same man" -- they sound like war veterans. U_U
LESTAT / LOUSTAT
"the show's primary villain--" say it louder. Book stans need to stop projecting post-IWTV Lestat the hero/protagonist/MC into the narrative that LOUIS is telling, as a guy struggling to get over his ex.
"There to berate him for his poor choices--" this tracks with the trailer released today, too, where the producers said Dream-Stat would "pass judgement" on Louis' pisspoor actions.
PRODUCTION (Sets, Costumes, etc)
Yes, IWTV S1 was absolutely gorgeous; their attention to detail was immaculate. And so far it looks like S2 is gonna be just as nice. I REALLY like what I've seen of the Threatre's aesthetic.
THEATRE DES VAMPIRES & SANTIAGO
I freaking love this. XD
Agreeing with him about WHAT though? 🤨 That Louis & Claudia are hiding things? Or that they deserve to die because of it? (Especially since Lestat is OBVIOUSLY not actually dead, so what "crime/rules" are they actually breaking, Lord Kangaroo Court?)
TALAMASCA & CRITIQUES
Thank you lord god kamisama flying spaghetti monster he's a Talamascan, not another secret vampire.
But now I'm nervous, thanks to the ComicBook review:
Uh oh. The Talamasca feels forced & out of place. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
The AVENGERS INITIATIVE. 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
But they say it feels like "Daniel's being recruited--" YES PLEASE. 🙏 If Daniel's not gonna be a vampire, at least let him be a Talamascan. Ain't no way he can return to the mundane world after all this.
My BIGGEST complaint about IWTV as a franchise is its tenuous connection to the Immortals Universe. AMC is dropping the ball hard on creating an ARCU--Anne Rice's Cinematic Universe. There are SO MANY immortals & supernaturals we should've BEEN seen in S1, walking the streets of NOLA. I will say this every time: Oncle Vervain Mayfair should've been brought in from the OG pilot script. We should've seen Louis go to him for gris-gris before the poker game, and introduce Lestat to Vervain as a practitioner of what Louis thought was "European voodoo." Also: we should've seen Lasher. There should've been a scene where the Mayfairs told the vampires to GTFO their territory, and keep their hunting grounds on the other side of town. Like, the Mayfair Witches show sucks like you wouldn't believe, it's so stupid (looks gorgeous though), but the WORLDBUILDING is ripe for the taking! And AMC did squat with it!
Like, tbh, I don't see the point of a whole Talamasca show, and if it's handled by Esta & the gang from MW, then I don't wanna see it--I WILL, ofc, but I won't WANT to. Especially since we haven't seen any ghosts. ISTG, PLEASE have Merrick Mayfair in Ep7 or Ep8--not only will that bridge IWTV with MW, but it can perfectly lead to Blackwood Farm., while keeping the threads between vampires, ghosts, AND the Taltos (if they're determined to do a Lestat/Rowan crossover from Blood Canticle 🤢🤮).
I was wondering why so many reviews were giving it 4/5 or 9/10, like wtf are y'all being so stingy for!? But if this is the problem, then I'm not surprised, I've been complaining about it the whole time.
#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2 spoilers#iwtv tvc metas#justice for claudia#loumand#loustat#the hype is real#must see tv#meritocracy of hypocrisy
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okay i caved like immediately, based off of @spinetacks recent art
matthew and darby are matching. matthew’s not happy about it.
[drabble]
Matthew hisses as his fingers go over the swelling bumps on his arm. “Screw you, Darbs,” he mutters, looking at the damage in the mirror. “God, this is gonna scar so bad.”
“Aww,” Jack says suddenly, almost mockingly. (He’s been in a god-awful mood ever since Matthew saved him. Quite frankly, Matthew thinks it’s incredibly rude of him, and he’s got better things to deal with than a 26 year old with the attitude of a 15 year old.)
Matthew looks over, confused, and Jack’s looking between his phone and Matthew. “What’s so cute?”
“You and Darby gave each other matching scars. That’s adorable.”
Matthew frowns. “That’s not funny, Jack. He really, really hurt me. Look at this!” He shows his arm.
Jack squints from the couch, raises his phone, and takes a picture before typing something.
“What was that for?”
“I’m gonna send it to Darby.”
Matthew pauses. “Why on Earth do you have Darby’s number?”
“Oh, I got it during the four pillars thing, when we had to team up. I’ve never used it before, so we��re gonna see if I’m blocked or not.” A few seconds pass by, and Jack hums pleasantly. “Oh, look at that! Still not blocked. Very helpful, he is. Unlike you.”
Matthew thinks he’s going to need to send Jack to therapy. Or maybe suicide watch. No one should be that eager to want to die a horrible death at the hands of Darby freaking Allin. “Okay, well I’m going to check up on our other teammates and see if they’re okay while you sit here and mope for the rest of the afternoon like an ungrateful brat.”
Jack mocks his words, then flips Matthew off. Matthew stomps off, and the door shuts right as Jack yells “He just a aw it, by the way!”
Matthew takes a minute or so to try some of his calming techniques. He’s going to need to be professional when talking to Nicholas and Okada. (He decides Hangman is a lost cause and will not be going to see him, despite most of his being telling him otherwise. He will not be dealing with two ungrateful people today, no sir.)
He continues his walk, and is just about to get to Nicholas and Okada’s room when an arm wraps around his waist and he’s pulled into the bathroom.
Matthew’s so surprised he doesn’t even think to fight back, just trying to stay on his feet until he’s face to face with the bathroom mirror, where he finally sees the perpetrator.
Darby grins, making eye contact in the mirror. “Hi, Matt.”
Matthew immediately pushes him off. “What the eff, Darby!”
“Got Jack’s message,” Darby says right as Matthew reaches for the door to not give Darby a lick of satisfaction in beating him up while alone.
Matthew stops at the words though, and turns around, because Darby said it like it meant something to him. “It couldn’t have been that important.”
“It couldn’t have?” Darby sounds hurt, pushing his bottom lip out in a pout. If Matthew didn’t already hate him, he’d find it cute.
Darby reaches for him, and for some reason Matthew lets him pull him back in front of the mirror. He pokes some of the thumbtack marks on Matthew’s arm, earning a hiss each time.
Matthew swats at him. “Stop it, that hurts.”
“Awh, does it?” Darby uses the same tone Jack did before, and Matthew wants to strangle him for it. If they’re working together to go against Matthew, he’s going to kill them before the year ends. “I don’t know if it hurts as much as this did.” Darby lifts his shirt, and Matthew can see the scar the glass left over on his side.
Matthew stares at the lightning bolt shape, then back at his arm, then back again. Both on their right side. If he does scar…
Oh no.
Matthew’s face flushes, realizing that him and Darby are terribly close, with Darby practically against his back, left hand on his waist while his right holds up his shirt just enough. “What do you want, Darby?” Matthew asks, painfully weak.
Darby leans up, lips behind Matthew’s ear. “I want you to realize we’re tied together, now. No matter what you do, who you fight against, who you make allies with, I’ll always be there in one way or another.” He bites Matthew’s ear lightly, just enough to get a whimper out of him, before letting go and pulling away entirely. He slips out of the bathroom without another word.
Matthew shivers, closing his eyes with a shaky sigh. His worst fear is coming true with the worst person imaginable, and he doesn’t even mind.
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CG haymitch n little effie.. Peas and thank you... I beg...........
fair warning im still in the beginning of catching fire so this is still in book one and also so sorry if this is out of character
ao3 link
Effie wouldn't show it while big but she was worried for her tributes. She had a pit growing in her stomach the moment Katniss broke out of the crowd to reach her sister. Or maybe the unease started when Haymitch took a tumble off the stage back in district 12. She sighed and crawled out of bed. Carefully, she made her way down the hall in search for Haymitch's room, but here she stands at his door, hesitating. He's probably passed out drunk and she knows he sleeps with a knife but she really wants to crawl into his arms and fall asleep. She turns around to go back to her room when the door behind her swings open. She freezes. She could have made it back to her room and pretended that everything was fine (and probably cried herself to sleep) but now she was caught. "Eff... wha 're you doing..." he slurred. Effie closed her eyes and stayed still. Maybe he'll go back in his room? She felt a hand on her shoulder and opened her eyes that met Haymitch's. She sniffled and started crying. "Whoa whoa whoa," he reached forward and pulled her into a tight hug,"what's wrong baby?" She grabs at his shirt and shakes her head. "Scawed for them..." Haymitch rubbed her back soothingly,"Who? Katniss and Peeta?" She nodded, turning her head and slipping her fingers into her mouth to chew on. He sighed lightly. "There's no need to worry about them dear, I have a plan. They seem sharp enough. And I've got a good feeling about them," he spoke softly. He pulled Effie away from his chest and carefully pried her fingers out of her mouth. "Why don't we hit the hay? You must be tired baby." She nodded and held her arms up. Haymitch playfully rolled his eyes but picked her up and carried her into the room without complaining. Now tucked under Haymitch's arm, Effie finally feels the worry from earlier slip away with her consciousness.
#age regression#sfw agere#agere#sfw age regression#fandom agere#thg agere#thg series#thg#thg fanfiction#hunger games agere#the hunger games agere#hunger games#the hunger games#haymitch abernathy#effie trinket#i didnt write this with any kind of relationship in mind bc im not as familiar with their characters but take it however you want#and ty anon 😁#got struck by autism in a Verizon store#🫐#✧s3cr3t scribbles
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RANDOM SCENARIOS I SCRIPTED IN MY DR. ♤
( disclaimer ; this is my alt history / alien dr. )
♠︎ this one elitist at a concert tried to get smart with me and i shut him down asap !!!
♠︎ getting to see my godfather fenriz for my 18th birthday for the second time since forever…
♠︎ getting stalked by the EFF BEE EYE. (LMAOOO)
♠︎ going back to my stupid ass ex because the character development. >>>>
♠︎ i went to WACKEN and went to many concerts/venues throughout the years. i even went to see some of my favorite bands.
♠︎ i would go dumpster diving back in hs and find cool stuff like vinyl records, earphones, money etc.
♠︎ quorthon ( YES THAT QUORTHON ) gifted my sister and i plushies and scandinavian artifacts before his passing. 🥹
♠︎ fenriz sent me a care package when i first entered college, full of norwegian snacks and even a picture of him and his wife.
♠︎ this guy dm’d me a song he made for me and then sent me a video lighting himself on fire… ( true story. )
♠︎ my mom would always rant about swedes. ( i love swedes. 💖 )
♠︎ i used to own a horse named layne and won multiple awards showing her. currently (as of now), she has passed.
♠︎ CRAWFISH SEASON… all day! everyday!
♠︎ for my 17th birthday, i went to the museum and played in the rain. so comforting. <333 for my 18th, i went to norway and serlerthas. my cart didn’t make it through sadly… #rippennifer
♠︎ the politician’s son gave me the american flag with MY face on it saying ‘AURA 2024’…. 😭😭
♠︎ i graduated high school early with a 4.7 gpa. ( yes this is possible… weighted gpa is a thing . )
♠︎ my first night at college, i accidentally caused the fire alarm to go off smoking too much. i didn’t get out and didn’t even get caught… 😭
♠︎ the way i almost got into many fights… this boy deadass thought i was a reptile. i was like “reptile WHO?” and he was acting so weird like a q-idiot. i told him off tho.
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ATTENTION MINORS
I know you guys have been seeing the posts going around about Earn-It and KOSA and things of the like, and talking about how bad those things are. And you're right, they're really, really bad. But, you're not old enough to help participate in helping out, right, since you're a minor?
WRONG.
Minors out there who are concerned about these issues: YOU CAN HELP US. KOSA and CSAM specifically are acts to create widespread censorship and invasion of privacy to "protect kids," so if anything, your younger voices are stronger than ours!
I've compiled some resources for you guys to help out. Note that if you sound old enough, you do not have to disclose your age if you don't want to. The point is that there is a public outcry, not that you're under 18.
If you don't know what the bills are or what they do, here's a Doc that explains all that with links to different reading material where you can learn all about it there (note: as of posting this, the Restrict Act is not currently updated. Check back in the future for updates to the doc).
The two we really need to worry about right now are KOSA and CSAM.
KOSA is a bill being passed that would effectively let the government censor anything they want online, which can and will include minority voices, LGBTQ content, and anything they deem "unsafe" for kids (such as the suicide hotline).
CSAM is another law that preaches about protecting kids, but would actually be used to spy on everyone. It's a trojan horse.
There are a couple more, which are all covered more in-depth here on this site (scroll down):
Here's a few more resources for you guys, and then I'll get into how you guys can help!
KOSA
CSAM
EARN-It
(Light flash warning for this one, just in case)
youtube
RESTRICT Act
Alright, with all the reading out of the way, let's get into what to do.
How YOU can help!
Minors: you are not helpless. You are not powerless. The point is that there is a public outcry, and the fact that you are so young could be an advantage to stopping bills like KOSA and CSAM.
If your voice can pass as an adult's, YOU CAN CALL. If you don't think your voice can pass, YOU CAN EMAIL, TEXT, SIGN PETITIONS, and honestly, you MAY STILL be able to call.
Here's how calling works. It's gonna be scary the first time around, I know, but you've got this.
First: find out who your representatives are. This website right here makes that very easy. Go to the dropdown for your state and find it, and your two reps should automatically pop up.
Next, see if they're a Republican or a Democrat. This should be in parenthesis next to their names. Here's Michigan's and Mississippi's reps as examples of what that looks like:
How you phrase your words will differ depending on the party they're in, this is important.
Next, you'll see under their names an address, phone number, and some bibliography. (I kept using the Michigan ones cuz I was already on their page, so if you're from Michigan, here's the numbers right here.)
Let's get ready to call now.
Now, when I say "call," I don't mean exclusively by phone. You can also fax them or email them.
Here's a website you can use to fax them.
To find their email address, google it. [Name] email, and if they've got one, it should pop up there.
Now, the hard part: actually calling.
Before we go any further, reminder that these people are just that: people. They're not idols, they're not gods, they're not worth any more than you are. Dehumanize them as much as you need to in your head. They're not scary, they're human.
Now, for each bill, you can either make it all separate or keep all your words in one email, as it were. How you want to do this is up to you. But, if you're feeling lost for words, there are also scripts you can use as a base.
Here's an email to a Democrat about KOSA, for example:
And this one has emails for both sides:
The long and short of it goes like this:
Your name and something about you (I'm a retail worker) (I'm a minor) (I go to [name] school)
Explain why you're calling (I urge you to stop [bill])
Explain why the issue matters to YOU. (I am a minor, and pushing this law would do irreparable damage, not help us. Here's a bit of why.)
Ask the representative you're calling to help
Thank them for listening.
Keep it courteous- they'll be more likely to listen to you if you're calm and collected. I know emotions are high right now, and it's okay to let desperation in, but don't yell or scream at them, you'll only drive them away from trying to stop anything.
More than likely, you won't be speaking to that rep directly, but the message should still be clear and reach them.
If you're faxing or emailing, there's more room to go off about issues in more depth, since there isn't someone on the other end of the line. You can say as much as you'd like, but still try to keep it polite.
You guys are powerful, and your young voices can add to this fight. You do not have to be an adult to call something unjust. Stand with us. Together, your voices will make us stronger.
#Youtube#stop earn it#stop kosa#stop csam#stop restrict act#fuck online censors#fuck online censorship#important#psa#important psa
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Well well well well!
I have seen you being asked about your fav TW BL dramas. but I’m here to ask about…… your top 10 (or however many you want tbh) BL thai dramas!
Teeheeheeee!!
Ps: can someone else pop up and then ask you too Korean BL dramas? *wink*
Anon, I think YOU will have to come back and ask about my top Korean dramas because after people see this list, they will realize how trashy I truly am and never seek a response from me again. I've already written about my Top GMMTV Actors, my Top GMMTV Pairs, and my Top Five Taiwanese BLs, but this requested list will really show people that I am a dumpster fire, so let me present my
Top Ten Thai BLs
Before I start, I need to list my personal preferences since I have watched over 150 Thai BLs (if not 200), with a third coming from within the past year and a half alone. A show must meet at least two:
Don't bury the gay (MANDATORY!)
Be gay. Do crime! aka "Eff the police" (literally or figuratively)
I'm a messy bi, and I'll cry if I want to
Adulting is hard like my sexual attraction for you
Vice Vers(a) - Flipping the norms and changing dynamics
Next, I need to establish some ground rules:
The series must have completed prior to June 1, so Step by Step, Be My Favorite, La Pluie and other running shows cannot be considered.
It had to be marketed as a BL, so 3 Will Be Free, The Warp Effect, and Great Men Academy cannot be considered.
I could only pick a pair once, so most of GMMTV shows couldn't be considered if I picked another show the pair was featured in.
It couldn't have hurt my queer feelings, so My Only 12%, Until We Meet Again, I Told Sunset about You, and 180 Degree Longitude Passes through Us were cut for rubbing salt in real-world wounds.
A third of the final list had to be BL shows that aired prior to 2022.
Narrowing it down with those two filters, here are a dozen shows that didn't make the cut with a brief reasoning:
The Eclipse - pair already picked
Triage - the gay died each time the clock reset
Ghost Host, Ghost House - not within my personal preferences
Never Let Me Go - aired in 2022. Sorry Jojo!
My School President - pair already picked
Secret Crush on You - aired in 2022
Bad Buddy - it knows what it did to me
Together with Me - pair already picked
Lovely Writer - not within my personal preferences
A Tale of Thousand Stars - pair already picked
Between Us - it knows what it did to me
My Ride - not within my personal preferences
One more thing before I give you the list -
Honorable Mentions
To Sir, With Love
I was raised on soap operas and telenovelas, so this lakorn was seventeen episodes of blissful drama, yet served one of the best pairings and family members of 2022. It was also a historical drama, so the ending being happy was unexpected, but much appreciated.
Destiny Seeker
All the shows on my list have color coding, but this show wins every color-coding award I can give. As a self-proclaimed color demon, this show fed my soul and my heart with its color exchange between two great characters who were just trying to unify the Pretty Boys and the Jocks in a tale as old as time, yet more colorful than ever.
Now, the actual list
Top Ten Thai BLs
#10 - Dark Blue Kiss
Pete and Kao went from a bit toxic in This Kiss series, to a solid couple trying to navigate the difficult situation of having one person in a relationship still in the closet. The reason was realistic as well - career. Kao coming out could have not only hurt his future, but his mother's job as well, and the socioeconomic difference between Pete and Kao was front and center during these discussions. Mix all of that with the addition of Sun and Mork and their dynamic of light enemies to lovers, and this ended up being a surprise favorite. It also had beautiful cinematography at a period when the production value of BLs was being elevated which is greatly due to director/screenwriter Aof and cinematographer Rath.
#9 - Big Dragon
If someone would have told me during the first episode that I would like love this show as much as I did by the end, I would not have believed it, but here I am, in love with this show. It started off with two idiots being at their peak toxic level, yet ended with the softest men in love. The cinematography was beautiful, Mangkorn and Yai had a natural chemistry when teasing each other, and the music was good, so good that I actually listened to the lead sing his love confession…twice! Mos and ISBANKY made me excited to see what else Star Hunter has in store, and that was a door I had closed long ago. Big Dragon 2 when?
#8 - Bed Friend
Much like Big Dragon, I showed up for a raunchy series about fuck buddies, but ended up witnessing two men work through trauma and showed that with support, healing is possible. King was the biggest green flag that has ever graced my screen, and the way Net's big brown eyes portray lust, love, and devotion is a skill that only matches James' embodiment of a sex kitten. I watched them in Catch Me Baby, but Bed Friend brought an entire new level of chemistry from them that balanced the heavier aspects of the show in a way that any other pair would have squandered. Because of NetJames, this show will remain in my tops for years to come, and makes me even more excited for Love Upon a Time.
#7 - You're My Sky
We, collectively, did this show dirty. As BL fans, we did not appreciate it enough, and still don't. Because it came out in 2022, a year stacked with excellent BLs, it was pushed to the sidelines when it should have been at everyone's top for any number of reasons like the pairings were solid (childhood friends, senior/freshman, pseudo-enemies to lovers), the plot was consistent, and the cinematography was beautiful. We have a few sports-related BLs which do a great job of discussing the connection between toxic masculinity and male-dominated sports, and although this series didn't lean all the way in, it gave us a glimpse of what men must sacrifice in order to be considered the best in such an environment, especially when it comes to love.
#6 - Not Me
Every character is shippable with every other character. That is the power of this series. Yet, because I’m petty, I’m still holding a grudge not about GramBlack (Eugene/Gene, really?!) BUT that ToddBlack did not happen! In a show that was queer in several aspects (marriage equality, society’s disapproval, found family, etc.), it was strange that it didn’t deliver on the Black front examining how power dynamics, socioeconomic inequality in regards to privilege, and performance of masculinity affect queer experiences (all possessed by the ToddBlack pairing), but what it did deliver was a great premise about fighting back against oppression (labor discrimination, educational gaps, monopolies), which is why even though the ending was shaky, it still deserves a top spot for existing.
#5 - KinnPorsche
As much as I wrote about this show, I’m shocked it isn’t #1, but sitting through the final episode’s credits believing what I believed about Vegas left me feeling a certain type of way that I’m still not over. It had all the elements I love: Be gay, do crime, messy tears, vice vers(a), and the cinematography was perfection. Symbolism and foreshadowing were intertwined into every scene, so watching each episode was an experience and the aftermath was devouring hours of meta analysis. This was the first series I was excited to watch live unmuted and at normal speed, and I liked each pairing, plus rooted for others who were never going to happen (Big & Chan, Khun & everyone), which made this a fun journey even after the final credits finished (World Tour, anyone?!).
#4 - Love Mechanics
I LOVE MESS, and this show gave me ten glorious messy episodes of the messiest mess. Much like the chokeholds VeeMark excelled out, this show had me by the throat (implication intended). I was shocked when it was announced En of Love: Love Mechanics would be remade and extended from four episodes into ten. I liked the original, but the basic plot (drunkenly having sex right at the beginning – how very Together with Me of them) did not sit well with me the first time around, yet once I saw the remake’s trailer, I WAS SOLD! Look at the angst! Look at the pining! Look at the chemistry! Look at the same steps and dorm from Together with Me! I could write forever about this show because it is better than the original, it was so similar to Together with Me that I had to squint to make sure it wasn’t, and the happy ending with Mark’s tears, although never doubted, feels like a personal win, which is why it was my number one of 2022.
#3 - Manner of Death
MaxTul own me. Every couple I watch gets compared to MaxTul and the chemistry they bring. Together With Me is a favorite, but when Manner of Death aired, it spotlighted the evolution of MaxTul in the most beautiful way imaginable. The dark plot of drug and sex trafficking was difficult for most, but both of these characters' commitment to finding the truth in their own way while taking on the ACAB attitude even towards the one police officer they did like was a buffet that just kept serving me. I was truly worried because of the nature of the show that a happy ending wouldn't be possible, but not only did the show end with vows being exchanged, but the promise of another season as well. TRANSPLANT WHEN?!
#2 - Moonlight Chicken
This was an adult show and toes the line of being truly queer media rather than a standard BL. I felt seen every time Jim sat silently examining his life and his choices. His hesitation to open his heart again to another person after being hurt in such a realistically queer way in a country that doesn't have marriage equality almost made me cut this show due to hurting my queer feelings. However, if I was willing to give up three pairs (FirstKhao -The Eclipse, GeminiFourth - My School President, and EarthMix - A Tale of Thousand Stars) for this one show, I knew it had to included. Aof working around the grief of losing a parent while examining gentrification and generational trauma all through a queer lens is a feat most would fail at, but this show shines, literally and figuratively thanks once again to cinematographer Rath.
#1 - He's Coming to Me
I must end where I began - Aof, the director and screenwriter, changed the Thai BL game with this one, and hasn't slowed down since, which is why two of his other pieces are in my top ten, and several others are featured in my short list. Cinematographer Rath has also made his mark on this list, and it all started with this one for me. No other BL series has stuck with me the way He's Coming to Me has. Not one element of this show doesn't work. It's cohesive. It's emotional. It's everything to me. I cannot give this show enough praise. It created a unique magic in eight episodes that hasn't left my heart for four years.
And probably never will.
Now, who wants to ask about Korea?
#top thai bls#he's coming to me#moonlight chicken#manner of death#love mechanics#kinnporsche#not me#you're my sky#bed friend#big dragon#dark blue kiss#to sir with love#destiny seeker#thai bls
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Ya' like Hendrix? Well, this ain't Hendrix.
So, idk if I should even be posting this, but whatever, it's kinda nifty. Of the music I make (The Reverend, GRR, Luuding/de Lillo), I occasionally like to relax by making these stupid psychedelic country folk rock tunes (Oh, Whip-poor-will, Daddy Had a Cult Following, Deep in the Desert, As a Stranger Passing Through).
And I was trying out these new lyrics, trying to do a new tune, but having no success. I always generate the music around my lyrics first, never the music first, and it just wasn't working out. One track stood out because of its specific sound, but I left it alone. I went on to generate more versions of this song around my lyrics, but it was a no-go and I said, "eff it, let's mess with this..." and a few hours later, voila. Generated a quick album cover and there you have it.
YouTube Link
edit to add lyrics:
He's a... Gunslinger (Giddy-up) A dead ringer (Woo!) That Cowboy Singer The one and only Lethal Stinger (Yeah!) That hurt bringer (Oh!) That Johnson Swinger (Ah!) He's a walkin' talkin' slip-slidin' high-flyin' middle finger
Yeah, doggy! Woo, boy! Play that thing! Gimme some joy!
Yeah, yeah
She's a... Quickdraw from Wichita Outruns the law Stuck in their craw But she ain't goin' down without fightin' those clowns word got 'round all over town Now she's The Outlaw Queen paradin' 'round in a bright and shiny badge-covered crown oh,
yeah oh, you know it, yeah
and when the two crossed paths, ya' see there was nothin' but chaos an' anarchy guns they drew those bullets flew a hail of lead over all their heads but then come The Law for the Gunslinger and the Quickdraw
and it sounded a little something like this...
by miracle an' fortune the two got away much to the law's chagrin they'll see another day they'll see another day
oh yeah
#jimi hendrix#hendrix#music#new music#tunes#song#song of the day#audio#mp3#experimental#art#ai art#psychedelic rock#classic rock#rock#hard rock#rock n roll#rock music#pop#pop rock#my music#not jimi hendrix
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Hello kelly! 🫶
When i ask my mind "can I let go of this fear of XYZ happening to the body-mind" it often feels scared of doing so. The body starts reacting with anxiety about the thought of me letting go of the my fear of XYZ. There is this false sense of control telling me: "If you let go of the fear of XYZ, if you dont keep it in mind, you will not avoid the actions that may lead to XYZ and you'll end up experiencing what you fear, let me do this to prevent it from happening, let me affirm it wont happen, let me manifest somethimg that prevents it from happening etc".
I know it's a false sense of control, fear arises when I ask myself to let go of this anxiety about the future and this specific incident (XYZ) happening to this body-mind. Its been a few months of fighting this fear but it only grows. I think I tried everything that came my way.
Often I will try to observe and let the thoughts pass, is everything the mind thinks of so true anyways? I will experience a few minutes of peace before I'm caught up in the tangles of my mind again, before I'm again saying this and that and avoiding this and that to avoid a specific incident from happening to this mind-body.
I wanna calm my mind down and let my ego know that it's okay if I let go, sometimes I will feel like I need some conformation that it's safe to let go. That if I act however I want, let go of the fear and ignore all these "rules" I forced myself to follow that I will still be okay and that this body-mind will not experience what it fears in the future. I feel like the missing piece would be to actually understand the point of letting go of a problem, does this problem actually disappear when I stop giving attention to it? Will the body-mind actually not experience the fear when I as self let go or this fear and break all the rules that "keep me safe"? I know self would be okay in some sense but what about the body?
Or does it anyways happen to the body-mind and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening to this body-mind and I'm just letting go for my own peace?
I'm kinda new to this (been 1.5 months of me reading and trying to apply, succeeding sometimes and failing sometimes), I'm still learning but I'm not sure if I really get the concept of "not giving so much attention to a problem"..does it then cease to exist? Or is it just so that it doesn't impact me mentally as much (I'm not belittling this outcome, I'd love to have this outcome anyways) I know its very foolish to only let go of fear out of hope that this is the way to prevent any incident from happening but a part of me asks for an obvious answer telling me that this body-mind will not encounter what I'm fearing if I let go of the fear.
I see this type of question often getting answered with "You're not the body-mind, whatever happens to it isn't happening to you" but what if i would prefer if the body-mind didn't experience XYZ, do I have any type of control over that? Will letting go offer safety for the body and will it help this body-mind not experience its fear with the senses/ "in the 3D" ?
If I let go of this worry and decide I don't even have to replace it with peace, if I choose to completely cut ties with how the body-mind is suffering with this and how it's very fearful and decide that I will treat this fear the way I treat the fear of a friend or a character in a movie I'm watching, with empathy but without dwelling on it, while being so grateful it isnt really my problem to deal with. Will I in some way prevent it from happening to the body-mind? I experienced freedom from this feeling for almost 3 times now, all lasted for only a few minutes..but they were a cool breeze I wanted to make my default state. I'm not sure how to however. And I'm also not sure if it could prevent anything from happening to this body-mind but I sure know I hope it does.
And generally do you have any advice for me other than to observe the thoughts and let them pass since this has a very temporary effect on me? Is there any other path I can experiment with to let go of my fearful thoughts?
Thanks in advance, I'd definitely appreciate it if you answered this since what you say often seems to be aligning with me/understandable the most but it's up to you if you didn't feel like you want to. Hope you're always well, Kelly :)
When i ask my mind "can I let go of this fear of XYZ happening to the body-mind" it often feels scared of doing so. The body starts reacting with anxiety about the thought of me letting go of the my fear of XYZ.
Two of my recent posts should help as other anons have similar concerns: here and here. Whatever I don't respond to in your ask has been covered by these.
Its been a few months of fighting this fear but it only grows. I think I tried everything that came my way.
So don't fight it. Let it be. Read the two posts I linked above and apply.
Often I will try to observe and let the thoughts pass, is everything the mind thinks of so true anyways?
No, none of it is true until you assign it truth. This is why sadhana is necessary, so you learn to separate yourself from your mind.
Your thoughts, beliefs and sense of identity are intangible, arbitrarily constructed and constantly changing. Yet they seem so very real and you invest them with a tremendous sense of ownership and 'my-ness'. In our minds we create a whole subjective world, which we then superimpose on the objective world and mistake for reality. Most people are unable to separate the objective world from their subjective interpretation of it. That's why identification with mind and thought can be even harder to break than identification with body. Mithya, which is simply a configuration of name and form, always relies upon satya for its existence. The ability to differentiate between satya and mithya is crucial to liberating the mind. Confusing satya and mithya is the root of all our sorrows. By a process of mutual superimposition, we superimpose the quality of satya (existence) onto an object, believing that the object itself possesses an inherent existence of its own rather than a temporary, borrowed existence. At the same time, we superimpose the qualities of mithya (name/form) onto satya (existence). That's why we take the body and mind's attributes to belong to the Self. Like the clear water which, due to its proximity to the red glass bottle, appears to be red, the Self then appears to possess the properties of the body and mind. That's why we say, "I am happy," "I am sad," "I am fat," "I am thin." This is an error of perception caused by ignorance. As Krishna said, the Self is free of all attributes, and without limit or objectification. If the Self is limitless and without attribute, how could it - how could you possibly be happy, sad, fat, or thin? As long as you identify with the body or mind, you are subject to its miseries. But the moment you shift your identity from mithya to satya, from the body and mind to awareness, you are freed of all limitation.
Does this problem actually disappear when I stop giving attention to it? Will the body-mind actually not experience the fear when I as self let go or this fear and break all the rules that "keep me safe"? I know self would be okay in some sense but what about the body?
Suppressing attention and ignoring something that you believe to be a problem will not make it disappear; you've just pushed it to the back of your mind. Actually letting go and no longer seeing it as a problem or fearing it will dissipate it - you cannot lie to yourself so be honest with yourself. The how-to is in the posts I linked above.
Will I in some way prevent it from happening to the body-mind? I experienced freedom from this feeling for almost 3 times now, all lasted for only a few minutes
You just answered your own question. Some people can do what you're describing and genuinely stop seeing it as a problem but you have already tried and it didn't last because you weren't able to truly let go and stop giving it truth and reality. So try letting go another way (linked posts above).
And generally do you have any advice for me other than to observe the thoughts and let them pass since this has a very temporary effect on me? Is there any other path I can experiment with to let go of my fearful thoughts?
Yes, read the two linked posts and apply. That's the advice I offer you and anyone else with similar concerns. Release the fears and see them gone. Free yourself.
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Ao3 is in Danger of being Banned
US senators from both sides of the aisle are aiming to limit information online. The KOSA act (Kids Online Safety Act) is aiming to censor content, this includes limiting or banning sites like wattpad, Tumblr, Tiktok and more. Now why is this bad? Protecting children online doesn't sound like a bad thing? And you'd be right, online activity can be dangerous for kids, exposing them to things that they didn't ask for can be terrible. But this act will not fix it. There is no meaningful way (currently) to regulate the internet to extreme extents, these policies often limit LGBTQ sites and support. The Heritage Foundation is in support of KOSA for just this reason.
Transphobia resulting from these policies is likely. Extremely likely. Not to mention KOSA will not only limit these for children but also adults, a violation of the First Amendment. The EFF has sent letters of concern for this act. And reasonably so, there is no meaningful way to discern 'good' speech from 'bad' as online filters have shown us again and again. We know bans don't work, we learnt from here! When tumblr tried to ban pro-anorexic content, it backfired in people changing their lettering to get through filters and thus making it easier to find by creating tags like 'thynspiration'. US states are currently banning books 'inapropriate for children' by limiting information about race, sexuality and gender discrimination, I'm afraid this act is seeking to do the same thing. Sites like ao3 that are archives for LGBTQ youth are likely to be threatened. Both Democrats and Republicans are in support of this Act, as well as big brands such as Dove who put Lizzo as the face of it. When the US bans sites, they are often unavailable everywhere else as well as a result.
What can you do?
Spread the word!!! Tell friends and family about it!
Contact your lawmakers now to tell them to reject KOSA.
Sign a petition!
I have set up a mini archive on google drive for ao3 fics you want to preserve if this bill gets passed! Fill out this form to submit fics to be saved on an organized spreadsheet and on hard drives. You can access all the other fics people have saved and submitted from this spreadsheet! The spreadsheet should be up to date soon!
🚨🚨Please reblog to say no to censorship!🚨🚨
KOSA articles and links under the cut
Information about KOSA and similar Bills:
The Kids Online Safety Act is Still A Huge Danger to Our Rights Online
Lawmakers update Kids Online Safety Act to address potential harms, but fail to appease some activists, industry groups
Congress is flooded with bills for childproofing the internet / But civil liberties groups are spooked many of the bills could cause more harm than good.
Kids Online Safety Act Remains a Threat to Minors and Free Speech
How far should the government go to control what your kids see online?
Congress proposes anti-child abuse rules to punish web platforms — and raises fears about encryption
The Kids Online Safety Act Is a Heavy-Handed Plan to Force Platforms to Spy on Young People
LGBTQ Activists Call On Lizzo To Drop Her Support For Kids Online Safety Act
#KOSA#KOSA act#censorship#kids online safety act#politics#lgbtq community#ao3#wattpad#tumblr#tiktok#tw anorexia#tw transphobia#tw transphobes#lgbtq#bisexual#lesbian#gay#trans
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