#now some people may think that I was insane to do ten pages of a fully rendered/painted comic
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senblades · 5 months ago
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ShuAke Week - Day 7: Goro or Joker palace
this comic is a follow-up/expansion on the premise I threw at the wall in this piece. Something, something, Akiren makes bad descisions and they come to bite him in the ass. Cognitive Akechi is unamused.
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likeadog · 11 months ago
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making a copy of this bc op disabled reblogs and i just got reminded it existed and would like to not lose it
ok so . im outing myself to the world but thats fine this is too funny to not share
so. ive run a roleplay blog for a few years. i keep it separate from my main, yknow, its just a side hobby and ive been doing it since i was like, 12. its cringe but hey yknow at least im not 30 and writing ya novels
now its pretty common for rp blogs these days to have rules. right? you dont want to just bag any weirdo on this website, and as you can imagine bnha roleplayers are batshit crazy (see: conversion therapy todoroki) so mine are pretty strict and detailed. because ive been doing it long enough to be exposed to what counts as carbon monoxide poison from a screen. one of those rules is "if youre mutuals with people who write porn of the kids even aged up im blocking you we're keeping a ten foot pole on this". because as a 20 year old man i have a healthy disinterest in seeing paragraphs of teenagers fucking
so the dash is astir with talk of a guy writing age up bakugou porn and im like ok whatever. make a post bitching about it . mutual likes those posts but then the mutual is turning around and being buddy buddy with this guy so i dm the mutual like hey whats going on here . mutual is like "well why dont you talk it out with him hes not as mean as he seems i prommy" and im like sure whatever i can have civil conversation and if it ends with One Less Person writing weirdo porn then i might be able to get into heaven
so i dm him and he loses his fucking mind. it lasted all of 10 minutes because he was sending paragraphs like this and i was too tired to give a shit
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(take note of my icon thats a special tool thatll help us later)
(also he goes by the name rxgelord. WITH the x. thats also important just because its funny as fuck)
so the guys clearly bothered by the idea that people might possibly talk about him without his permission and im a little miffed after being misgendered (which hed do again later) so i just post our dms. swing first and hey batter batter lets play ball i dont give a shit this is bnha roleplay
once again: loses his damn mind. he makes a psa post about me talking about how im just some pussy infant and hes too HARD for me and shit and also they do bakudeku muffin roleplay in the comments of that post which is fucking insane
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anyway. at one point while joking about the whole thing i called him a "wannabe bakugou kinnie" as a joke and apparently he felt a very serious need to address this
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and im like holllllllllllllly fucking shit
you may have noticed that his posts are incredibly over-formatted. this goes for everything he does he is pouring a LOT of time and energy into typing his 9 paragraphs about how im an insane bitch or whatever. (if theres literally one thing i can give him credit on its that his graphic editing skills are kinda good. i will be honest) his rules document is also just as insane and features gems such as:
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(this dude thinks hes pulling bitches on a bnha roleplay blog)
so we're just full on ragging on him at this point and hes getting MADDDDDDD MAD. he misgenders me again and when i point it out he has the following excuse:
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(art by @/pcktknife. anyways)
after a certain point i get dmd an old copy of a 130+ page callout he had a year prior and im like WHAT and it included his yugioh rp blog career and various allegations like having been involved in gang violence, doxxing, etc. also a picture of the hickies he bragged about leaving on his uwu pink glitter gf which looked more like he was trying to go for the killing bite but hey. yknow. apparently im a toddler idk how that works
along in this we also find his twitch account, which was under the name rxgelord, and it featured edited graphics of his real life face with bakugou. he posts selfies a lot too i wont share them even if theyre public but he has knuckle tats and a goatee and uses the greyscale filter. if this gives you an idea. he also had 5 twitch followers and detailed his desire to be a rapper/dj and im like holllllly fucking shit this guy cant be a real person. holy fuck.
anyways. skipping a lot of unnecessary bullshit and paragraphs of text with gifs from 2013 attached hes constantly going on about how we wont just "say it to his face" which i think is hilarious bc i was, the entire time. but im like ok fine you want me so bad
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so i send him this. he posts about how "he won when he got all might" (for some reason hes calling my ex mutual by the character name. i dont know) and then hasnt posted in 4 days. he deleted his twitch. im a little worried bakugou. dont say that. may have actually chased this man off the internet . to go have real life sex with his real life girlfriend so he isnt so mad
anyway we ended up turning one of his posts into an eminem uberduck
im honestly probably forgetting something this was so much and it was so fucking funny and honestly im glad to have been there
update: he has not in fact posted since last summer. god bless.
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thenerdofthegroup · 4 months ago
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Halloooooo
Another theory brewing…
So I’m writing my document and have done analysis of a lot of what we’ve been given. The posters today, brilliant, trailers and teasers and clips, brilliant, Agatha pretending she doesn’t care when she actively needs these people, a mood.
But I came across a fun little easter egg that may help understand later parts of the show AKA what I am calling ‘The Wicked Scene’ AKA Lilia’s trial.
(I have spent an hour looking at pixels and it spells out the most basic plot but I'm sharing it because I'm proud of myself so be nice)
In this scene in the Coven Roundup teaser, we see a new second of her trial:
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So clearly this is a card reading. I will show my thoughts of what each card are and a short explanation (that I copied from the internet so I’m sorry if they are slightly wrong):
Top Right: Page of Swords. Upright: Caution and Weariness. Reversed: acting hastily, deep mistrust based on the past
Top Left: The World. Upright: Success, achievement. Reversed: close to completion but are stuck
Middle: Ten of Swords. Upright: Extreme situation, violence, destruction that comes with an ending. Reversed: denial, going down a painful and wrong road but leading to no definite ending
Bottom Right: The Hanged Man. Upright: rite of passage through mediation and sacrifice. Reversed: not letting go, getting stuck
Bottom left: Wheel of Fortune. Upright: Changes ahead, good luck, advancing. Reversed: luck turns for the worst
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So we know that this scene is already deadly. And I swear to fucking god if Lilia dies-
Now it’s important to note some are upside down. But this depends on who’s seeing them. If it’s the chair with the sword in or the opposite. And there is one out of frame and one below the Ten of Swords. But it is clearly describing that this is most likely the 6th or 7th episode. I’m under the belief that each episode is dedicated to a big trial that is dedicated to a person so surely the last three will go Rio, Billy then Agatha? But this does seem to be an end one. Maybe they are going more on story. Or maybe it isn’t one trial per episode. But this is spelling out:
This situation is one of the most dangerous, they will need luck and critical thinking to get out of it, good luck is either there or not, and in the end they will need a lot of caution and care to get what they want. And I think this is mainly directed at Lilia (since it’s her trial) but also Agatha because I think there will be a lot of twists in the end… don't know what haha but I feel there will be!
And I am such a nerd I ended it with ‘And that’s just a theory……. A FILM THEO-’ I need psychological help my god. Or a girlfriend to rant about this too. Both help
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Can you tell I’m writing this at 00:37 at night!
Anyway, like I said… pretty normal stuff for a show but I spent an hour doing this and looking up the meanings so I wanted to share! Have a good evening
Ps my document is at 74 pages... This is getting insane. I also may make a post adding onto trickofthelights tarot card deck because you helped me a lot in my analysis so thank you 🙏 and that took me 4 hours and I don't want it to go to waste. Took me 30 minutes to find what a Quatrefoil was called…
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hazeism · 1 year ago
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hi!! wanted to ask if you have any favorite books, either that you've read recently or of all time. Your prose is insane and I need to broaden my own vocabulary so if you have any book recs, fiction or nonfiction, I'd love to know :')
Hii :D ! ahaha, what a well-timed question; lately I've become the kind of guy who just really wants to talk about what people are reading, or are planning to read, and responding in kind, so thanks for giving me an opportunity to indulge that, haha. What a wicked invention the printing press was!!! (Also--thank you!! I'm glad my prose is to your taste. I'm happy !💕)
If you don't mind, I'll put a cut on this right away, because I know I'm very talkative, but let me put a TLDR above for all the novels/authors I mention here. Disclaimer also that I am kind of a dunce (I think you know this) so I like silly shit a lot of times . please be nice to me adfhbjkdg. :D
(No nonfiction also because I'm a frivolous and unworldly little sprite or something but if you want straight philosophy [which counts] come back and I'll do my Top Ten Epic Platonic Dialogues Compilation for you .)
TLDR: Read any UKLG you get your hands on, Cain by Jose Saramago, or any Saramago (though maybe not Skylight, which is not a good introduction to Saramago), very much enjoyed Sartre's The Age of Reason recently, Shadow & Claw or The Fifth Head of Cerberus by Gene Wolfe. If you feel like it, come off anon and tell me what you like, so I can give more tailored recommendations!!
Now if you're asking for favorites, like just the particular and arbitrary objects of my partiality, that stir my stupid little heart, the true answer is probably UKLG's The Farthest Shore, just because it is very special to me. I can't, of course, in good conscience, recommend the third novel of a six-novel fantasy series to someone (but of course read Le Guin, everyone should be reading Le Guin, it's dire for universal soteriology that we all read Le Guin; You'll probably get told to start with Left Hand of Darkness, and that's pretty solid. I liked The Lathe of Heaven as well. And if you read any Le Guin it doesn't hurt to pick up a copy of the Tao. I love the Tao man.)
Some friendlier recommendations, though:
José Saramago is someone I really consider peerless; There's no way to pick up a Saramago and not know who's written it. Cain is a bit drier, a bit more abrasive (almost accusatory, in that particular way you'll find in a Buddhist parable) and bleak than some other Saramagos, but it's one I like (perhaps for the trite reason that I like bucolic atmospheres and Classical antiquity as a setting) so it's the one I'll put forward.
Uhh, I've also been enjoying Sartre's Roads to Freedom lately, starting with The Age Of Reason. I'm partway through the second novel and umm... despite all the other things you could say about Sartre, lmfao, let it not be said that he is not a serious literary force. Serious is maybe the only word for it. Dire, too. I keep a commonplace book, so usually I take excerpts, but this was the first time in memory that I felt compelled to commit entire pages, ahah (I just took pictures though, fuck copying all that).
If you're itching for esoteric language, Shadow of the Torturer (as usually collected with Claw of the Conciliator in a single omnibus edition titled Shadow & Claw; the first of the give-or-take five volume Urth series) by Gene Wolfe will scratch you BLOODY. If you're particularly fussy, you might be irritated by your compulsion to Google, but I find it really makes the experience when you type in a word and the only results are "what the fuck did Gene Wolfe mean by this?" hahaha; Honestly, though, those kinds of complaints are borne from a lack of immersion, but you'll notice pretty quickly that the verbiage is a pretty crucial vehicle OF the immersion.
It may or may not become a commitment, though, if you like Urth enough to want to read through, so if you want Wolfe without the strings--though less of the exciting vocabulary, which is pretty necessarily constrained to Urth--I'd really highly recommend The Fifth Head of Cerberus (the novella OR the novel, I mean the former is volumized in the latter so just start it and if you feel like stopping then stop, haha). Mr. Terminal E is incredible but I scrape enough time out of my daily life to gush about his crazy literary density so I won't do it again here (you should ask my coworker, lmfao, who one time went "stop, hold on, hold on." because my face started getting really red while I was explaining to him some Wolfean gesture). If you read any Wolfe, and I mean ANY Wolfe, because his permatypes and his manipulations of them are endlessly interesting, feel free to come back and chat with me over it!!!
I guess I have to disclaim that my habit is mostly to pick through an author's corpus over a course of, usually, a couple years, and then sometimes I'll read things that will inform my understanding of the genre conventions or currents that the author is writing in (been enjoying Golden Age sci-fi recently)--it's not really as deliberate of a process as it sounds, but I think if you were to map my habits, that's the landscape of it. This means, though, that my reading is actually pretty narrow in scope, and I am not very well read or very knowledgeable in general (who is, in this economy) but it does mean that of the authors I do like, I can probably find the novel that'll work best for your taste.
If you want to come off anon, or I guess just leave another message, haha, (or if someone else wants to, idgaf, we're all friends here at tumblr user hazeism) describing the things you like or look for in a novel I can probably give you a more relevant recommendation. I've been dosing people up a lot lately tbh, it's like a parlor trick I've been doing; I have a conversation with someone and afterwards they'll have a PDF with a relevant Asimov story in their messages, hahaha. I can't help myself sometimes.
Come back anyway, though, if you read anything I talked about, okay? I want to hear about it 🥺
And alsooo (turning to face the audience) if anyone ever wants to put recs in my inbox (or my dms : ) slow replies though sorry I'm a hermit) I'd be happy to take 'em down. Can't guarantee I'll read them in a timely manner, or that you'll ever find out if/when I do, but it's good for me to leave my comfort zone.
#also not what you asked but a thing that i find always pertinent is the fact that synonyms are a scam#no two words ''mean'' and by mean I mean Convey Meaning Serve Function Perform Their Obligations In Continuity Or Discontinuity etc the sam#thing. if two words meant the same thing they would be the same word and even that's a bit of a trap (though i guess there is allure in the#potential scenario in which you are able to so precisely construct the surrounding matter of a sentence that you can get a word to repeat#its exact sensibility when being reused--usually when you are reusing a word you are manipulating it to throw light into an alternate facet#i think maybe it seems like i have an extensive vocabulary (i can't say if I do or not) because I trot out all manner of words in all manne#of contexts. under that pretense. or maybe I am a douchebag who wants to live in the world of forms who knows#sorry for all my me btw your first mistake though was looking at me and going Yeah I bet he has both a meaningful answer AND the ability to#convey it. like no sorry. you'll have to pick through the charnel field again. one million words curse#anonymous#ask#mine#bet you were waiting for me to tell you to read asimov well no. don't feel compelled to do that. i mean don't let me stop you (at the momen#I need them to live so I won't judge you but dhfkudh) i mean if you're currently in a place where reading is difficult (we'veall been there#then his mission of clarity makes his books sublimely digestible impossibly easy to read they're comfortable novels without being totally#unstimulating andthey can in fact be very stimulating if you give them the room to proliferate in your brain . but the thing about asimov i#the best things I find are Daneel (who is a scam and will ruin your life) and HIS PERMATYPEESS guys I love permatypes lately but it's hard#to get the texture of the Asimovian permatypes (muttering about the continuum from fisher through terens) and really luxuriate in them unle#ss you read one fucking million novels . so if you feel like doing that do it but if you don't. don't.#i've been getting so many asks lately (i mean. three. but before that another three!) and it's ruining my icy and aloof image . because i a#a motormouth. and now I'm going to stop typing!!!!!!!!!
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frogsandfries · 4 months ago
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Sitting in a vet emergency room
It occurred to me earlier today that eventually coming up soon here, I'm going to have to draw a character who hasn't been seen in about two or three hundred frames--frames that I drew well over a year ago.
Also, eight, almost nine hundred frames is a lot--if I put two strips of three on each side of the page, that's over a hundred pages.
I think it's time to make character sheets......
I have a ton of work that I need to print up already, so gee, I'm so looking forward to further fighting with my stupid printer which is pretty much bricked, thanks Canon. I want to get my bead patterns printed out, which I've mentioned previously. I'll probably do a character sheet for my main character as well as my secondary characters, and probably some emotions and head angles. Oh, I should find that resource of every angle of hands. That'll be great to have readily accessible.
The catch is, since this story moves through time, there aren't school uniforms or anything, and there are times when the main character is being changed into different outfits as part of the plot, I figured that it would be best to just naturally change characters' outfits. So......how do you integrate outfit changes into a character sheet or story bible? I don't have all of anyone's outfits planned for the whole story--that would be kind of insane.
So far today, I got invi-told on a car trip. My sister had her tattoo session today and she got upset when I didn't ooh and ahh over it. My thing is, I'm an artist. I see tons of art every day. I've made tons of art. I went to art school. My own art is not something that would make me stop and ooh and ahh (well, my graphic novel doesn't; my bead plushies, even incomplete, do).
My sister is not even necessarily creative. She doesn't draw or really color. She doesn't sing or dance or perform. She doesn't knit, crochet, cross-stitch, 3D model. Anything.
And that's absolutely okay. That's fine. She'd rather be outside, hiking, camping, running, all that stuff.
I told her, the only time I'll really have something to say is if I would rate it a 0, 1, 2, 3, 9 or 10 out of ten. When you work in phone customer service, if someone gives you a 5-7 or 8, depending on the company, this is usually fine. It's when someone gives you a 0-3 or 9 or 10 that the call may be addressed. Her tattoo is just fine, the skull looks like a skull, the bird looks like a bird. All of the elements look fine. Personally, and I already told her, I would have gotten the linework done a little darker to match the first tattoo, but I guess she got that done overseas?
I also told her, it's her body. If she's happy with the tattoo, then I'm happy for her. It's not something I would put on my own skin because it's not my vibe, it's not my taste, it's not my aesthetic. It's a perfectly fine aesthetic, it just isn't mine. I don't know what more to say about it. I don't think there's anything good or bad to say about it and furthermore, of all people's opinion, I don't know why mine is upsetting her so much.
She told me, my non-opinion means I hate it and the tattoo is bad and I'm insulting her by having a non-opinion. I told her, I think that's something she's going to need to work on. Taking my non-opinion, when I already told her, I will tell her if I have something to say, I will say it, as a negative is not my problem. Maybe this is the most clueless-autistic I've ever been, but I am absolutely lost. Why is she upset?
Anyway, while I was in the car, with the cat because we are now at the emergency vet, first, it was hot as hell. I miss living in NM. And of course, I worked on my graphic novel. Even though I just wanted a goddamn nap. I have some seven or eight hundred frames to color.
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bbyboybucket · 1 year ago
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So i see you reblog a lot of marvel stuff, and there's a lot of stuff i want to ask you, as a sort-of marvel fan myself.
for one, what's your favorite marvel movie? (for me, this is like asking me to choose a favorite child, and i can't pick just ONE, but some people manage to do that) and if you can't pick just one, top five?
second, do you read the comics? and if so, which ones?
third, are you aware of the upcoming thunderbolts movie, and if so, are you excited for it?
essentially, that's it. sorry if the wording for this is a little weird.
have a nice day! :)
Omg hey!!! I’m so happy you sent this you don’t even know
Okay you’re totally right that it’s hard to pick a favorite, especially because I feel like I switch up so much lmao. But I’ve gotta say, my number one is prolly GOTG 3 because literally everything about it was just perfect imo and I’m not even really an emotional person, and I cried like a baby both times. Like that’s the only movie I’ve ever went to see twice in theaters too, but it was just so damn good.
After it tho, I’d say TWS and Civil War are tied at second because I can never decide which I like better. Like as Bucky fan I wanna say TWS (and because it’s excellently written and has top tier action) but also Civil War is just so fun for me and the way it handled/introduced (especially introduced!!!) so other characters is just something I really really love. Then third is prolly endgame, most would disagree but it just holds a special place in my heart. And then 5th is prolly across the spiderverse, ik it’s not mcu but it’s another one from this year that was just so insanely good and that I’ve already watched more than once.
I do read comics sometimes, not as often as I’d like to bc I don’t wanna pay lol but I’ve read a few Bucky ones, I’ve read some spiderman and Wanda comics, just a little bit of everywhere I guess, mostly at random. Right now I really wanna start reading more fantastic 4 because I love them but I just need to get my hands on some lol. But I do try to at least keep up with what’s happened even if I haven’t read comics for it, bc I like to know that extra background info and know what’s accurate for what’s being adapted into live action. And I also like knowing characters that haven’t been/may not be adapted because there’s so much interesting stuff.
I am too aware of it. You probably don’t even want me to go into bc I violently hate what’s happening with that movie, every leak, scoop, and announcement on it fills me with rage bc not only are they doing Bucky dirty (I could write a ten page essay about that) but literally every other choice they’re making for it is also HORRID. Like the team lineup, the villain choice, the fact that the void is going become another dimension in the third act instead of just being personified (idec if it’s comics accurate it’s just not needed for this movie). Literally everything going on with thunderbolts is such a mess. And it’s kinda sad bc when I first realized they were setting it up, before any actual announcements were made, I was excited because I expected so much better than this. But basically I’m praying on its downfall and cancellation lmao. They’ve already had two actors quit and they cut the movie’s budget so I’m thinking there’s a chance. But yeah I’m sorry if this isn’t the answer you expected but if you do wanna see any of my rants on how much I hate they’re putting Bucky in this, just search my page 😂
Anyways, sorry my answer is so long, I didn’t mean to give you a whole book 😂 but thanks again for asking ♥️
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freedomfireflies · 1 year ago
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Loved the Final Part! I’m so glad Peach stood up for herself and told him off! Bc he’s insane for thinking it was only strictly business when we know damm well this man was whipped from the beginning! I really enjoyed his backstory! It explains a lot how he acts towards Peach. It seems like he has this pattern of falling for people quickly and as much as he tries to avoid it or suppress it, it’s who he is. he’s a softie at heart yet he thinks he does a good job of hiding it. Hopefully we can learn more about that in future blurbs! Now this MF was showing up AGAIN when Peach was meeting up with Max?! I swear he is insufferable because he was trying to act like there were no feeling involved! Honestly I’m glad Peach made him suffer a bit ngl and I wish to see more groveling from him bc he was a dick lol and omg Nadia our bestie slayed with that snippet! And now THEIR SHARED PAGE IS CALLED PEACHES AND CREAM!?!? Ngl I giggled so hard when I read that! You’re actually very funny when you add some comedic spin to your writting and I love that tbh! I’m really excited to see their extras and how they started as an official couple or how their dynamic changes and cute or angsty or couple stuff they may experience! I absolutely love this and you’re so so so talented! You genuinely are so talented I for one LOVE your plot’s because they are so well thought out and I would love if you created more stories with deep plot because you just do it so well! You’re truly amazing and thank you!💜
I—HELLO? This is so beautifully thought out and wonderful!!!!!! I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to send this to me 😭💞 Like I actually have tears in my eyes, this is the nicest thing EVER!!!
I'm so honored you liked it AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE I LAUGHED FOR TEN MINUTES STRAIGHT 😭
I am endlessly grateful to you for this and for being so wonderful 🥹♥️ Thank you for reading and following along!!!
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scuttling · 3 years ago
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Long Time Coming
Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,664 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, Reader has a few one night stands, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex, Blow jobs/Face fucking, Hairpulling, Fingering, Praise and degradation, Dirty talk, Accidental reveal of feelings, TW blood/cut Summary: You have been in lust (and love) with Aaron for a while, but his new look sends you off the deep end, and it's enough to make you do some pretty crazy things. *Inspired by @ssamorganhotchner and these three pics. Link to A03 or read below! You are fresh off yet another unsuccessful first date when Aaron wears the new suit. You, Emily, JJ, and Penelope are standing by the coffee maker, complaining about the pitfalls of online dating and how people are never they way they seem when you actually meet in person; you have the carafe in your hand, filling your mug, and when he walks in, face in a case file, his pants so tight you can make out his hips and thighs as clearly as if he were naked… You kind of lose your shit. And your grip.
The carafe shatters when it hits the tile floor, spraying shards of glass and hot coffee everywhere; Emily gasps, Penelope jumps back to avoid the splatter, JJ runs for a broom, and you just stand there, staring at Aaron—at his tight slacks, at his belt, at his shirt, tucked neatly inside, then at his dangling tie, and finally, his worried face.
“Are you alright?” he asks, because you have literally not moved a muscle since he arrived; your boots are covered in coffee—you are thankful you dressed casually today and aren’t wearing heels, or you’d be in a lot of pain—and your heart is racing, but otherwise you feel frozen, unable to move or look away.
You’ve wanted Aaron for a long time, and everyone knows it but him. It’s part of the reason you’re smothering yourself with online hookups and blind dates and one night stands: because he is off limits, and you’re desperately horny for him, and you need to have him fucked out of your mind one way or another.
The new suit further complicates things.
“Fine,” you say after a few more seconds, and JJ comes back with the broom and dustpan, so you bend down to help her clean up your mess. It wasn’t your brightest idea, because you are now at eye level with the tight crotch of his pants, and all you can think of is working the zipper open, pulling him carefully past the fly, sucking him off until those big hands slip into your hair and tug roughly when he comes.
God. You’re going to have to go on another bad date. Or ten.
“New suit?” Penelope asks conversationally, as if you aren’t having a sexual crisis about it three feet away. “Looks good, boss.” Aaron runs his hand down his body self-consciously, but all you see are thick fingers and stomach and hnnngg…
JJ pinches the back of your arm hard, makes a face that screams get it together!!, and you take a deep breath.
“I took some of my old ones in for alterations and the salesman convinced me they were severely outdated. Do you like this style better?”
For some reason, it feels like he’s looking right at you, and you nod, dreamy-eyed, sweep your tongue over your lips.
“Better,” you rasp, and Emily and Penelope agree, probably to take the emphasis off of your slack mouth and dopey one-word answers. You try to help JJ clean up, picking up the larger pieces of glass and dropping them into the dustpan despite her protests—because you are very unfocused, shouldn’t be messing with sharp objects—and when you cut your finger on a piece, she just sighs. Such a mom.
You wince, and Aaron frowns, comes toward you, putting you not only at dick height, but a manageable dick distance, if you were so inclined; really, it’s more if he were so inclined, because you are actually fully prepared to swallow his load right here in front of your friends—all he’d have to do would be snap his fingers and point to his crotch, and the FBI would be suing you for mental distress and using the money to pay for therapy for Emily, Penelope, and JJ.
“Let’s get this cleaned up,” he says, snapping you out of your very elaborate fantasy (typically your fantasies don’t involve court costs, but this is Aaron, so anything is possible.) He wraps his hand around your injured finger and pulls you up to standing with the other, and you just follow along as he leads you over to the sink, turns on the tap to let the water run over your cut. The way you’re looking up at him like he’s the best thing you’ve ever seen has to be painfully obvious, but he just reaches over for the first aid kit, takes out a bandage, and wraps it carefully around the tip of your finger. You sigh.
It may have started out as lust, but you’re pretty sure you’re also in love.
You have got to find a way to get him to notice you as more than just an agent, a teammate, a friend, and so: Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ begins. You fill the girls in on your master plan, and they fill in Derek and Spencer just so there are more people to laugh at you when you crash and burn, probably. But you’ve got a plan, will be pulling out all the stops, so you might not fail horribly after all. Hopefully.
God, you absolutely cannot fail. You can’t go out with another software engineer with the personality of a peanut or another investment banker who thinks buying you an appetizer means you owe him a blow job in the front seat of his Tesla. You will go fucking insane.
Today’s plan is T for tits, because yours are pretty awesome and almost no one who is attracted to women can resist them. You wear your usual white button down top, but you leave the top two buttons undone, and you add a red, lacy bra for a little additional temptation.
“Here are those consults you asked for,” you say after knocking lightly on the doorframe; Aaron waves you inside. You set them down on his desk, then glance over the open folder in front of him, make a curious noise. “What are you working on up here?”
You walk around his desk, so you’re standing next to him, and lean forward to look over the case file with one hand on the back of his chair and the other pressed against the desk. If he would look over, he would see right down your top, your breasts high and smushed together thanks to the lacy push up… but he looks straight down at the file, taps his pen against it.
“Murders in Detroit. I don’t think we’ll go—they look like mob hits to me, so I’m going to refer the case to Organized Crime.” You hum, turn the file toward you and lean in a little closer, letting your hair spill over your shoulder, the neck of your blouse fall open. Boobs and perfume are usually a one-two punch that is capable of bringing any man to his knees, and while he does turn to look at you, it feels entirely too respectful for your liking. You sigh softly, give up for today, and turn the file back.
“Well you know best, boss. Any time I don’t have to go to Detroit is alright by me.” You flash him a smile, and he reciprocates, and you head back downstairs for a cup of coffee and maybe a stale shame pastry.
The team looks up at you when you approach, and you shake your head.
“No luck,” you mutter, and Derek laughs, crosses his arms over his chest.
“Maybe you’re not very good at flirting. What did you do?” You roll your eyes—your flirting is not the problem, it’s Aaron’s morals and manners or whatever—and walk over to Spencer’s desk, demonstrate with him what you did to Aaron; you put your hand on the back of his chair, toss your hair over your shoulder, lean in, and Spencer swallows hard, licks his lips, and looks abruptly down at his hands. That reaction, you would have gladly taken.
Derek clears his throat, and so does Emily. Hmm.
“I’m good at flirting,” you say, straightening up; Spencer is blushing, and it’s super cute, so you pat him lightly on the head. “Maybe he’s an ass man. I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow and we’ll see if that gets the job done.”
“Good idea,” Derek says, and when you walk past him, he gives you a once over that makes you feel pretty damn good. “In the meantime, why don’t you come and demonstrate on me?”
There’s no denying he is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life, and earlier on in your career you might have taken him up on it—it would have to be better than Marty McTesla, that’s a given—but you know he’s mostly teasing, even if there is a thin layer of actual desire beneath it all. You just fluff your hair and take your seat and mentally flip through your closet to try to come up with an outfit Aaron can’t refuse. You decide on a pencil skirt, because that’s got to be every boss's fantasy, right? You have one you never wear to the office because it’s a little sexy, tight on your hips and ass, with a zipper up the back that you can open a little and use to your advantage. When you walk into the bullpen that morning, JJ whistles, and you grin, do a little twirl.
“Thank you, thank you. This has to work, right?” You turn to face Emily, then turn away from Emily, butt right in her face. “Emily? This will work, right?”
“That’s... definitely going to work,” she murmurs, tapping the cap of her pen against her teeth, and you have to admit you have a good feeling about this one. For as great as breasts are, your ass is your best asset, and if the open top and red bra didn’t work, this has to be your ticket to some sweet, dirty loving, it just has to.
You all head up for the morning meeting, filing into the briefing room, and you give Aaron a soft greeting and a smile just like every day, and then offer to help him pass out whatever stack of papers he’s holding in his hands—fire drills and emergency protocol, or something boring like that. He accepts the help, and you take the fliers, but instead of walking around and handing them to each member of the team like he would, you bend over the table, reach across, and drop the pages in front of everyone.
JJ is the furthest away, and you practically have to climb onto the table to reach her; you grin and wink when she takes the papers out of your hand, and she shakes her head like you’re too much, but when you stand back up to hand Aaron the extras, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested.
He thanks you for your help, and you take your seat and listen to him go on about emergency exits and fire extinguishers and seriously start to contemplate moving to Europe to start a new life, or something else equally dramatic.
Because you don’t give up easily, you orchestrate one more attempt to get him to show some interest in you. You know he usually goes downstairs to the cafeteria for lunch, and that the elevator is a jam-packed nightmare because the main stairwell is currently under construction (which is probably why you needed to go over safety protocol, now that you think about it; shutting down the stairwell seems very unsafe.) You usually pack your lunch, but you can go buy an overpriced salad for the sake of your sex drive, so you wait for the elevator when he does, making small talk about your mornings until it dings and arrives on your floor.
He tries to let you in first, gentleman that he is, but that won’t work with your plan, so you insist, earning eye rolls from the other passengers on the elevator. You give Amy from Forensic Accounting a dirty look and then step in after him, lean back against him because there’s really no fucking room to even take a breath.
He’s taller than you, but with heels on your ass still fits pretty nicely against his thighs; a little too nicely, you think, as you get wet just from standing near him in the elevator, the heat of his body through your skirt. You really are a mess.
There are two more floors to go before the cafeteria, and no one gets off, but more people manage to cram into the elevator, which means you press more tightly against him to make room. Someone bumps into you roughly, which makes you unsteady on your feet; Aaron puts his hands low on your hips to keep you from wobbling, and your eyes literally roll back in your head, but he just leans in to mutter, “sorry” into your ear. You say nothing, because you’d probably moan if you opened your mouth, but you shake your head so he knows it’s not a problem.
When everyone gets off downstairs, you hurry to the restroom and don’t look back, turn on the faucet and splash some cold water against your overheated neck and chest. So much for that plan. All you managed to do was work yourself up into a fury.
While you’re in line to pay for your overpriced salad, you open up your dating app and secure yourself drinks with a hot lawyer for tonight. Seduction is clearly not working with Aaron, he’s clearly not interested, and you have to find a way to move on before you have a spontaneous workplace orgasm and get fired from the job you love—all of his tight new suits have been dark so far, but if he shows up in gray, you’re not going to have the will to survive anymore. You have to plan for the worst.
The lawyer is nice enough, but he’s too short, too thin; it’s hard to imagine Aaron’s body weight on top of you when he’s fucking you, but you’re nothing if not resourceful, so you move your hands to his head of thick, dark hair and focus on that—that, and his hot breath against your throat when he comes a little too soon and mutters “sorry” into your ear.
“It’s okay,” you pant, reaching between you to rub your clit. You close your eyes, tip your head back, clench around him; you imagine it’s Aaron inside you instead, and bury your face in his shoulder when you come.
He’s willing to stay, but you explain why it’s better if he leaves, and then you fall back into bed, fumble for your vibrator, and get off again so you’re not too distracted by reality to really enjoy your fantasy.
It’s a little twisted, but it is what it is. You’re standing in the breakroom a few days later, swiping through the dating app and bullshitting with Derek and Penelope, when this guy pops up on your screen. He’s not your usual type, younger and blonder than you prefer these days, a pilot, but something about his profile makes you pause; when it hits you, you blow out a breath and look up at your friends.
“So you guys know Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ is officially dead in the water,” you begin, and they nod, “and now I’m focusing my energy on trying to get over him. I went on a date with a guy that kind of looked like him, and that didn’t really help, but what if…” You turn your screen to face them; Derek nods like it might be crazy enough to work, but Penelope grimaces.
“No, I don’t think that’s going to work. It might actually be crossing a line,” she says with a frown, and you look to Derek for his input.
“It’s more of a coincidence than anything, right? It’s not like he’s unattractive and this is the only reason you’re going out with him. He’s a good looking guy,” he admits, and you’re really grateful he’s willing to help you rationalize this probably terrible idea into a potentially decent idea.
You send the pilot a message, and he wants to meet up; he suggests a bar near the both of you, and you know it’s risky, but you tell him you happen to make a great gin and tonic and that you have everything you need at home, if he’d like to meet you there instead.
He does, and you don’t even make him that drink, just take off his clothes, get him into your bed.
“That’s right, babe—wanna hear you lose it for me. Say my name, gorgeous,” he groans, fingers digging into your hips as he fucks you from behind, and you close your eyes, fist your hands in the sheets, and give him what he wants.
“Oh, fuck, Aaron. Fuck me harder.” His thrusts are already rough and punishing, but this is the best you’ve felt in a really long time, so you’re eager, desperate for more. “Yeah, Aaron, just like that.”
“Tell me my big cock feels so good in your pussy.” He slaps your ass, and you moan involuntarily, press back against him, panting.
“Your big cock feels so good, Aaron, so good in my pussy. Fuck me, Aaron, destroy me.” He grunts, tenses, and moves his hands to your shoulders, slamming your body tight against his as he comes. “Yes, don’t stop, Aaron, don’t stop,” you plead, hips working together, and when he smacks your ass again you come gasping his name, collapsing against the bed with a breathless sigh.
You feel a lot dirtier than you expected you would, even though it was kind of awesome, and ultimately Penelope was right; it was fun while it lasted, but it didn’t do a damn thing to help you forget about the only Aaron you actually want in your bed. Monday morning, Aaron comes into the office wearing a tight navy suit with a striped white shirt and a navy tie, and you follow him with your eyes from the glass double doors all the way up to his office, mouth open a little. Your eyes get heavy and your breathing picks up, which is the dumbest biological reaction to a man’s ass you’ve ever had—but god, it’s a perfect ass—and JJ has to actually lightly slap your cheek to get you to snap the fuck out of it.
“Are you horny right now?” she asks, a little grossed out. “I can’t handle you.”
“I know you guys all call him a tightass, but I mean, if the pants fit… and god, do they fit.” You pick up a case file and fan yourself with it. “He’s so fucking hot. What am I supposed to do? Getting railed by fake Aaron didn’t do shit; I think I might actually have to transfer.”
“You’re not transferring. You just have to get over it.”
“Are you kidding? She’s like a cat in heat when he’s around,” Derek says with a smirk. “I think I’m getting horny just because she’s horny.”
“Okay, so why can’t I have that effect on him?” you ask with your arms open. “Do you think it’s the pheromones? Maybe they’re incompatible. Smell me—does it turn you on?” you ask Spencer, presenting your neck, and he looks like a deer in the headlights, then leans in to sniff you.
“Uh… you smell nice?” he says with a shrug and a half smile. “I think it’s just your perfume, though.”
“Put your face near her boobs,” Derek says, and Spencer starts to lean in again. “I think the pheromones are stronger there.” He pauses about halfway to your chest.
“Actually, they’re stronger near the genitals, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.”
“What’s going on down there?” You freeze and then turn to look up at Aaron’s office, where he leans against the doorframe; Spencer stands up comically fast, and you take a step back, clearing your throat. Aaron’s scowling—it’s really sexy and it’s making your heart beat in your stupid, traitor pussy—and then he sighs visibly. “We have a case, come on.”
The case is only a half hour away, so you drive, which is horrible, because you are with Aaron and Derek, and Derek lets you sit in the front just to watch you squirm.
It gets bad before you even pull out of the parking garage, because Aaron puts his hand on the back of your headrest to look behind him and reverse the SUV, and you look over at his body—his stomach, his lap, his thighs—and then quickly face forward when he puts the car into drive. You’re flushed, breathing heavily, and when he looks you over quizzically, asks if you’re alright, you just clear your throat and nod.
“Allergies,” Derek supplies from the back, and you mentally thank him for the save, but you kind of also want to smack him for putting you in this position in the first place.
You’re practically turned on the entire ride, even as you go over the details of the case, because his legs are spread and your eyes keep moving to his crotch; at one point, you think you notice his already unfairly tight pants getting a little tighter, but it’s just a trick of light.
By the time you arrive at the precinct, you are more than ready for fresh air, to put some distance between yourself and Aaron. You’re out of the car almost as soon as he turns off the engine, which probably looks weird as hell, but for your sanity you can’t give it too much thought.
The head detective and a junior detective give you a run down on the case while the other half of your team meets with officers at the crime scene. The head detective, a tall, handsome man in his forties, is looking at you like you’re a juicy steak and he hasn’t eaten in months; Derek notices, turns to you with a raised eyebrow and mouths ‘pheromones,’ Aaron is clearly unhappy about the detective’s lack of professionalism, and you couldn’t really care less about the attention. You just want to do your job and go home and touch yourself to thoughts of your boss… as one does.
The local police already have a board made up, so the three of you travel to speak with some witnesses, head back to the precinct, work the tip lines. Aaron seems to be looking at you more than usual, and when you get up to stretch your legs, he’s right behind you, following you out into the hall.
“Are you sure you're alright today?” he asks with a serious expression, hands on his hips. Your mouth waters. “You’ve been acting a little strange.”
“Stranger than normal?” You try to smile, to lighten the mood, but as oblivious as he’s been about everything else, he’s always been able to tell when you try to hide your emotions with humor.
“The last couple weeks? Yes.” He moves a little closer, and you try your best not to let it affect you—or at least not to let it show when it does. “You know by now that you can come to me anytime, for anything.” He doesn’t present it as a question, but it’s clear on his face that he’s looking for an answer.
“I know. I’m going through something… stupid,” you say with a shrug. “Something I should be able to handle, but it’s harder than I imagined.” He frowns, flicks his eyes over your face.
“Let me help you.”
“You can’t; trust me, you can’t,” you say, pleading with your voice, begging him to drop it. “I’ll get through it.” You shut your eyes briefly, exhale, and he reaches down to take one of your hands in his.
“Are you in trouble?” This is the most intimately he’s ever touched you, and it’s not just your body that sings; you know you’re in love with him, have been for a while, but focusing on the horny feelings is easier. It makes it feel like you have less to lose.
“No, it’s nothing like that. I just need some time. Thank you.” You squeeze his hand, and then Derek pokes his head into the hall behind him.
“We got a tip about the unsub barricading a house downtown; the detective is mobilizing SWAT,” he says; when he glances down at your hands, you pull yours softly out of Aaron’s grasp.
“What do you want us to do, boss?” you ask, effectively ending your conversation, and he tells you to get suited up with comms and Kevlar so the three of you can head to the new scene. Aaron is, unsurprisingly, a complete badass, storming the house along with SWAT, you at his side; it’s his way of reminding you that he trusts you, that it can and should go both ways—he is so perfectly predictable, reassuring with gestures over words even in a situation like this one. It does nothing to help you stop wanting him.
He’s a little rough with the unsub (and that doesn’t help either,) looks ruffled and kind of pissed when you climb in the SUV to head back to the precinct. Spencer, JJ, and Emily meet you there, and you take the opportunity to vent about how indescribably good Aaron has looked all day—Spencer bows out of the conversation early, but JJ and Emily are kind enough to listen to your insane, horny ramblings.
“He’s just so hot—he always has been, but the new suits? They’re so tight, and his shirts show off his tummy, and his pants show off his thighs… You guys will never understand the things I want to do to him.”
“Okay, he’s handsome enough, but you’re nasty about it—I can’t handle you,” JJ says, not for the first time. You groan in response.
“How can you say that? Have you fucking seen him? I’m not supposed to think nasty thoughts when he walks around looking like that?”
You feel yourself getting a little out of hand, and Emily and JJ look like they’re trying to shut you up, but you can’t stop yourself. It’s like the floodgates have opened.
“He’s never going to know what I want to do to him… what I want him to do to me. I tried so hard, and he didn’t even look at me. All I wanted to do was get on my knees for him and grab his ass so he could fuck my throat as hard as fucking possible—is that so much to ask for?” You pause, but neither of them say anything, just look scandalized. “I guess I’m going to have to name my vibrator Hotch now, since that’s clearly the closest I’ll ever get to him giving me an orgasm.”
“Do you really mean that?”
You jump a fucking foot, spin around, almost knocking Emily and JJ over in the process; Aaron is in front of you, his brow furrowed, arms crossed over his vest (he hasn’t taken that thing off yet? You threw yours on the table like the minute you got back), and your mouth opens and your eyes close at the same time.
Oh fucking fuck.
“We’re gonna… go,” Emily says awkwardly, and you open your eyes abruptly when Aaron speaks again.
“No, we’re going to go; come with me,” he tells you, and he turns and heads down the hall; you look back at Emily and JJ, swallow hard, and follow him, your heart beating fast.
He steps into a small room with a copy machine, table, shelves of paper and envelopes and other supplies, and closes the door behind you, engages the lock. You are torn between being very worried he’s going to fire you and super turned on, because this is definitely a fantasy you’ve had before.
“Aaron,” you begin, running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry. I think it was the adrenaline; it makes me run my mouth and I can’t stop it, you know that.” He’s facing away from you, his hands on his hips again, and you can see the way his body moves when he sighs.
“Did you mean it, though?” When he turns to look at you, he doesn’t look angry, he looks… nervous. “Do you want me?” His reaction is unexpected—not great, but not necessarily bad—and you bite your lip, nod.
“Yeah. So fucking bad. And I’m sorry—” That’s as far into your apology as you get before his mouth is on yours, his hands on your face, lips pressing against you for a rough, eager kiss. Your hands move to his waist, pulling him closer by the vest, and he lifts you up onto the table, tugs down the v-neck of your t-shirt, mouths at your throat.
“You think I didn’t look at you?” he says when he pulls away for a breath, tipping your chin down so you’ll look into his eyes. “You think I didn’t see that lacy red bra, your perfect ass bent over in the tight skirt? You think I didn’t feel it pressed against me in the elevator, that I didn’t want to push that skirt up and sink inside you and take you there in front of everyone?”
You moan, chest heaving, twist your fingers in his hair and pull him in for another kiss, dripping and trembling at his admission.
“I would have let you,” you murmur against his lips, and there’s no doubt in your mind that you would have, if that’s what he’d wanted. “I would let you do anything: not just let you, but I’d want it, beg for it. I meant what I said—I’d get on my knees for you, anytime, anywhere, do whatever you want me to do. I want to be yours.”
He catches your mouth in another rough kiss, then puts his hands on your waist, guides you off the table, and flips open his belt, the fly of his pants.
“Oh god. What are you doing?” you ask, and he slides down his zipper, pulls you with him until his back hits the door.
“I’m giving you what you asked for,” he rasps, staring into your eyes, his gaze smoldering. It’s so fucking hot your pussy clenches.
You lick your lips, drop to your knees on the tile floor so hard it hurts, tug his pants open and pull out his thick, hard, veiny cock.
Your dreams and fantasies did not do it justice.
“Fuck. Thank you,” you mumble, looking up at him, and he wraps his hands in your hair, pulls tightly. You moan just from that and the heft of him in your hand. “Thank you.”
“Shh.” He scrapes his fingers over your scalp, hums as you start stroking him, licking the head. “Don’t thank me—I should be thanking you, beautiful, perfect girl. In what world do I get this?” There are lots of things you want to say to that, but you’ve waited long enough, will have to say them later.
You lick your lips, collect lots of saliva, and take him into your mouth, get your hands on his ass and dig your nails in. Aaron groans, tightens his fingers in your hair, and when you look up at him it feels like a fever dream, like it’s not real but a delicious figment of your imagination.
For a minute or two, you stroke him with a tight, wet mouth, and it’s got you aching between your legs, but he’s supposed to be fucking your throat, technically, if he’s giving you what you asked for. You pull off, tell him that, and he tugs your head back roughly, guides you back onto his cock and starts thrusting into your mouth, earning vibrating moans around it.
“God, you’re so perfect. How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you touched yourself to the thought of me fucking your pretty face?” He picks up the pace, pushes deeper when he sees you can handle it, and you squeeze his ass, feel your eyelids flutter as he uses your mouth, pulls your hair. “Are you a whore for me?” he grinds out, and the moan that rips from your throat is inhuman, embarrassing, and absolutely accurate. “Yes you are, baby, yes you are. My pretty whore, on your knees, mouth stretched wide and filled with cock.”
You’ve never been so turned on from a blow job, but this is Aaron, hot and dirty and forceful, everything you imagined and more. You squeeze him tighter, encourage rougher treatment, and he presses his hands against the back for your head, slams his dick in so deep it aches; you don’t gag, but it’s a near thing, and when he pulls you off you gasp for breath and whimper at the loss at the same time.
“Enough of that, baby. You were perfect, so good for me, almost choking on my cock, but I bet your pussy is wet and aching. Do you want me inside it?”
“Holy—yes, fuck, please. Please,” you breathe, and he helps you to your feet and then pushes you against the door, gets your pants down. His rough treatment has you whining, gripping the hair on the back of his head, and you kick off your boots and socks so you can step out of your pants completely. “Keep all this on,” you tell him, pants and shirt and tie and Kevlar vest and all, and he nods, kisses you deeply, presses two fingers inside you.
“Fuck,” he groans when you receive him easily, soft and wet and open, and he uses his free hand to sweep down your top, slipping the buttons loose so he can get a better view of your tits and black lace bra that’s holding them. “So beautiful, and finally mine,” he mutters against your throat, and you whine, let your head fall back against the door, and give in to the pleasure of his thick fingers moving inside you.
“Finally mine,” you murmur, tugging his hair, slamming down against his hand, and when you come it’s like a miracle; you cry out, clamp down, and wrap your free hand around his bicep and squeeze until you’re lightheaded, dazed, desperate for another.
You kiss, deep and passionate and filthy, and Aaron slides his fingers into your mouth, pumps them a few times, then kisses you again.
“Good girl. Are you ready for my cock now?” You pant, gasp, and nod your head, and he pushes your shirt off your shoulders, lifts your legs so you’ll wrap them around his waist, and pushes inside you. You both moan, kiss, moan again, and then you wrap your arms around his broad back, hook your fingers in his vest, and hold on while he pounds your body roughly against the door.
“Oh, Aaron, fuck. Yeah. Want you to slam your body against mine; want to feel it, want to feel all of you.” He looks into your eyes, breathing hard, fucks up into you, hands on your ass, his hips and torso pinning you in place.
“Sweet, pretty, slutty girl,” he pants, spreading you open and shoving himself inside your pussy. “You tried tempting me, and oh, did it work. I might not have shown it…” He ducks in to kiss the base of your throat and you cling tighter, rock against his hips. “But it worked. You dressed like a whore just for me, just so I’d notice you; do you I know went home and stroked my cock and came with your name on my lips?”
“Holy shit. That’s so hot.” You move a hand to his hair again, can’t not thread your fingers there now that it’s allowed. “Could have fucked me like this then. Could have come in my pussy, not your hand.”
“We’ll make up for lost time,” he promises, and he thrusts up with his whole body, so you can feel it pressed against yours—shoulders, chest, stomach, all the very best parts of him. “I’m not too much for you? Can you take it?”
“Perfect for me,” you gasp, holding tightly to his vest at his shoulder and his shirt at his hip, bouncing into his thrusts. “So perfect, want you. I can take it. I can take it, Aaron.” Your mouths meet for a messy, hot kiss, lots of tongue, and you groan. “Give it to me, give it all to me.”
He bends his knees a little more, fucks you so rough and hard your mouth falls open and all you can do is whimper, clutch him, gracelessly kiss back when he presses his lips to yours.
He comes first, holds tightly to your hip and pumps inside you, fills you and then some, so it drips out while he’s still inside. It feels sinful, even after everything, and with a few rough drags of his palm over your lace covered nipple, you tighten and grip him and gasp out his name.
You both slow, and then he turns you, leans back against the door for a little relief after holding you up for so long. He nuzzles into your hair, and you bury your face in his neck, and you kiss soft and sweet until you’re feeling stable enough to hop out of his arms and put your clothes back on. He rights his as well, and when you’re both put together he wraps you up in a hug, kisses you, holds you with soft hands on your cheeks.
“I really have waited so long for this.” He brushes his lips over yours, and you sigh. “You never indicated… I was trying to be professional. Then out of nowhere you were leaning over my desk and bending over the table, and I was a little blown away.” You nod, can see that, pull him down for a kiss.
“It’s the goddamn suits,” you say with a half smile, and he gives you a curious look. “Your new, better fitting suits? They fit you so fucking well it’s almost illegal; I’m thinking of pursuing charges against your tailor for reckless endangerment on behalf of my libido, and the coffee carafe, and my poor, worn out vibrator.” He chuckles, hugs you closer, squeezes you so tightly against his body you almost pass out from all the good things you feel.
“Maybe we can strike a deal,” he murmurs, pushing your hair back behind your ear, and you bite your lip, nod.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll think of something you can do to make it worth my while.” After a little more hugging and kissing, the two of you figure it’s time to emerge from the supply closet; you don’t see your team anywhere, which surprises you, but when you get to your phone and pull up your texts, it all makes sense.
Derek: Congrats on the sex. The four of us headed home because no one wants to ride with the two of you and your pheromones.
Emily: Yay, you did it!! Drinks on me next time we go out!
JJ: You guys are loud; don’t make a habit of that.
Penelope: I hear congrats are in order! And by hear, I don’t mean hear. There’s NOT an audio clip or anything, so don’t worry about that!!
Spencer: Emily took an audio clip. Is it normal for girls to enjoy being called a whore? You don’t have to answer that.
You take a very deep breath, give him the gist of the messages—you’re on your own, they heard at least part of it, there is some potentially damning evidence that needs to be destroyed—and you leave the precinct to head home in a better mood than you’ve been in in a very long time.
Aaron takes you out for a late dinner, and he spends the night at your place, falls asleep warm and solid and very naked in the middle of your bed.
Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner
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makeste · 3 years ago
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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”
Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”
Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.
so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can
OMG FLASHBACK??
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yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions
oh dear
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Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE
EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES
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???
RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!
ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us
?? ??????? ?????????????????????
so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol
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OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!
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A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that
-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect
LMAO
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WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”
oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime
blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI
“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN
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“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh
“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”
“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier
LSDKFJLSDKJFLK
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“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI
(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)
so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”
and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”
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“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas
dsfaelkjldkjgl
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you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??
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this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed
“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim
anyway so back to the unruly mob
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not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap
oh wow the parents are out here too
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is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys
MONOMA
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so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this
anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/
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it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”
so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez
OH MY GOD
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MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED
OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT
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truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand
“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao
(ETA:
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WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)
“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason
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narrator: they did not listen to reason
oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE
hmm
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this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol
(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)
oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively
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“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako
lol uh
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gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off
SDLFKJSL
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“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”
so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH
OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY
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not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that
-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!
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sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech
never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him
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THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK
“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth
so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol
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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago
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Demigod MC Series: Athena
So. I have to deal with the virgin goddesses… By mythos, there really shouldn't ever be children of Artemis, Hestia, or Athena (yes, Athena was a virgin goddess). PJ got past that by making it canon that Annabeth and her siblings were born from cracking open Athena's skull (yes, that's also more or less the canon explanation). They gloss over it real quick but I remember, Rick. I've always remembered and that mental image has haunted me for years...
I can't, in good conscience, ignore the history around Athena's worship (call it an academic restraint) but I REFUSE to do the skull thing. So, since I make the rules here, I'm going with magic adoption. They still get magic powers, they're just more human than demigod. Cool? Cool.
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena
Lucifer
The human that popped out of the portal seemed to have enough sense not to attack everyone in the room for a change, but even Lucifer could tell that was more of a strategic choice than for lack of ability...
Their very existence was highly unusual… and quite worrisome. He wasn't even aware Athena could have "children" of her own, but apparently she had been taking in some particularly bright humans to raise and train like her own...
Unbeknownst to him, a surprising amount of human scholars, diplomats, and generals have her to thank for their trade… and that alone should speak to the level of intrigue at play here. 
Was this an accident or Athena's attempt to plant an Olympian spy in the Devildom too…? Either way, he didn't trust them from the get go…
Look, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Athena is a goddess of Wisdom and War and war happens on more than just the battlefield… 
Since they've shown up records have been going missing, official documents keep getting misplaced, and he swears that there's some kind of bug in the student council room...!
It's infuriating watching the MC suck up to Diavolo when he's almost certain that they're running their own agenda behind the scenes! And he can't prove any of it!! They cover their tracks too well!
Lucifer has one of those corkboards covered in newspapers and string in a secret wing of the Castle - 100% dedicated to just tracking the MC's activities…. The longer they're there, the more obsessed he becomes...
He swears between Simeon, Solomon, and MC he feels like a shepherd wondering why the sheep are growling… The Devildom has never been in more danger than it is right now... Send help.
Mammon
To be honest, he kind of thought that they were just going to be Satan 2.0 but that's not really true.
They're more than just a book sponge! Though they do read, like a lot. Let’s just say from one schemer to another… Game recognizes Game.
They come up with plans and ideas soooo fast, it’s insane! Honestly, there are times where he has a new money-making plot and he just brings it to the MC first to run it over. 
Nine times out of ten, not only do they sniff out any problems but they have a solution for him in a matter of minutes! His scheme game has been on point since they’ve shown up!!
They’re also even better tutoring than Satan is, so he’s even managed to get a couple A’s for the first time in his life! Lucifer actually told him he was proud (which he secretly recorded and now uses as a ringtone much to his brother’s regret...)
So yeah, he likes them... buuut that doesn’t keep him from thinking they act a little weird sometimes... 
Mammon: *points to a unused tower close to the RAD building* Over there is the Tower of Sorrow. We use it for storage.
MC: Ah. Interesting… *starts writing in a notebook, muttering* It may need a few minor tweaks but the location is defensible...
Mammon: *stops* Ya say somethin’?
MC: *looks back up* Nope! Say, you’ve been to the Castle a lot haven’t you? Do you know any good ways in?
Mammon: Uhm… Why do ya want to know that…? *starts looking around for Lucifer*
MC: In case of emergencies. I like being prepared. 🙂
Mammon: Look, I don’t know what Lucifer might’a told ya…
MC: I’ll pay you a thousand Grimm for it.
Mammon: Well shit, ya want those maps with or without color?
... Yeeeah, that’s pretty weird… But it’s probably fine. I mean, as long as they keep giving him money, who’s he to complain? 🤷‍♀️
Leviathan
Also thought that they’d be a lot more like Satan but was pleasantly surprised that they were into more than books.
What else did they like exactly? Military strategy!!
It’s been a looong time since he’s been able to talk to someone who’s actually interested in all the battles he’s fought, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, and their curiosity is kind of flattering...! Not a lot of people take his strategic prowess all that seriously anymore...
Plus, they are the BEST partner to have any turn-based strategy game. Hands down. He once got stuck on a level of D-COM for weeks until the MC walked in and mopped the floor with the AI!! They have a serious head for probability and tactics.
The House once made the mistake of letting these two be on the same team during a Hell Game and they absolutely demolished the competition. Mammon didn’t even get a single shot off before half his team was lost to a rigged paint grenade… It took a whole day to clean up… 
However, Levi’s also noticed some odd things about the human… He likes that they’re interested in his past but maybe they’re a little… too interested?
Levi: -and that’s how we defeated the Four Horsemen before they escaped from Purgatory. 
MC: Wow, Levi that’s seriously impressive!! *furiously scribbling on a notebook*
Levi: Well t-thanks… 😅 But, uhm... are you writing that down…?
MC: Hm? Oh no, just doodling. *they lift up the notebook to show a bunch of cute little sketches on the page… and not the magic-based invisible ink all over them…*
Levi: Oh you draw too? Can you do fanart???
MC: Eh, sometimes. But say Levi, can you tell me about your naval ranks again? I’m still really curious… *gets the pen ready again with a smile*
Satan
Oh, it's been a long game of cat-and-mouse between these two… and unfortunately, it’s been pretty addicting too.
He honestly had every intention of tricking the human into making a huge mess do he could bother Lucifer, but at every turn they proved just a hair too clever for him...
He once gave them a cursed book to “lend” to Lucifer, but they saw through it the moment they touched it and lifted the spell before handing it over.
He rigged a podium to spray glitter during one of Lucifer's speeches but the MC disconnected the trigger mic before he even got on stage. It was pretty dang frustrating...
At one point he got so desperate that, just as a test, he tried to trap them in the House's Music Room. Fortunately for them, it only took a few minutes to work out an escape. They even passed by him in the hallway with a wink!
It's confounding! It's infuriating!! 
...and it's so damn sexy... He should be furious but he’s just in awe!!
Add on that they know their art, literature, and multiple different crafts thanks to the tutelage of their adopted mother and that’s it. He’s finished. This boy is in love.
Truthfully though, a part of him is 90% sure that they’re also gathering state secrets… Like, they’re watching Barbs and Diavolo far too close for comfort - but he just can't bring himself to care. 🤷‍♀️
The MC could walk into his room one day and say, "Hey, do you want to help overthrow the monarchy with me?" and he dreads it because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t say no…
Take some notes, kids. Some bad influences get you to drink or do drugs. Others pull you into a centuries long conspiracy to destabilize and topple rival realms from within… But he has fallen for their brain hard. Devil help them all…
Asmodeus 
They’re pretty clever, he’ll give them that, but uh… Are they a little off to anybody else?
Asmo is a charmer by birthright so he has a bit of nose for when someone’s just a liiittttle too nice… Not much of a nose mind you, because he can be thrown off by compliments himself, but enough to think that the MC might be a little too… “kind” for their own good...
First off, who wants to spend that much time with Levi?? They don’t even seem that interested in anime! They just keeping asking him for old war stories…
Then all the sucking up they do to Diavolo and Barbatos? Look, he gets it. Diavolo is a delicious piece of man-hunk and his butler could give him a lesson or two in sweet-talk (and he has), but they seem to be just a little too… nosy.
Of course, Asmo’s suspicions disappear pretty quickly after they start to spoil him with spa nights and beauty secrets they picked up from “casual research” into the subject.
And you know, get a little Demonus in Asmo and start massaging his back? Oh, sweetie he’ll sing like a bird!! … with gossip. Singing with gossip.
Asmo: So I’ve heard that Lucifer has been spending more time at RAD than usual… His whole club is talking about it, they think he’s meeting with some witch!
MC: Hm, is that so? *works on a knot near his shoulder blades* What do you think?
Asmo: Ooh~! Right there, MC! *purrs and lays his head on his arms* Well come on, this is Lucifer we’re talking about! I’m sure he’s just working.
Asmo: Hmm... though come to think of it, I think I heard him asking Barbatos for the spare keys to the Tower of Sorrow…
MC: Oh really? Huh. *works out the knot and gets up* I just remembered that I left some papers with Satan... I’ll be right back.
Asmo: You’re going already??
MC: *waves him off quickly* I’ll be right back, Asmo. *hurries out the door to do totally on-the-up-and-up things… surely*
Beelzebub 
Honestly he doesn't like this one… But not for the reasons you'd expect.
He agrees with everyone else that they seem a little shady, but Solomon and Simeon are too so it's not like that's anything new... 🤷‍♀️
No, no. He dislikes them because they're the person who FINALLY figured out how to keep him from eating all the food in the kitchen!!
Turns out that the trick was to put a teleportation charm on the fridge door that would send all the food away if it’s opened after a certain time of night… 
And where does it go? The Purgatory Hall fridge. And where does the Purgatory Hall food go…? The HoL fridge…
It doesn’t sound so bad until you remember that it means half of their fridge is now Solomon’s leftovers…. 🤢
After they put the same kind of spell on the pantry, it was all over… He couldn't get midnight snacks from the House anymore… Everything was contaminated by Solomon…
The MC is a nice enough person, he doesn’t have a lot of complaints about them, but he wants them to leave. Now. This is inexcusable… He’s so hungry… and he doesn’t want to die by “goulash” or whatever Solomon calls his latest culinary catastrophe… He’s still too young for death… 😓
Belphegor 
In a way, he absolutely could not have asked for a better person to help him get out of that attic.
… In another way, he got one of the worst possible people to try and kill... Like. They saw through his scheme sooo fast…
How was he supposed to know that the human had training in body language and sniffing out lies???
Getting the door open was a piece of cake for them. They knew enough magic to undo the seals and just rummaged around Lucifer's stuff long enough to find the key to the door. He could not have found a more competent individual for a break out, really.
It’s just… well he didn’t expect to go from locked in a room like a prisoner to tied up in enchanted rope, still like a prisoner but now mobile. 😑 
They even used his own hug ruse against him! They caught his wrists when they got close and tied him up before he could shake them off...
Admittedly, it wasn't exactly the best look for them either - what with walking Belphegor downstairs to the others like a one-man-prison-caravan but they're as silver-tongued as they are sly so they talked their way out of it beautifully… 
And like hell was he going to trust them after that!! And not even Beel liked them so something had to be up...
Well, you want a detective? Look no farther than Belphie (no seriously, it’s in the canon). He can put things together pretty fast when he puts his mind to it and watching the MC for a while gave him enough proof to work off of...
He always knew that, humans were bad news and the MC just proved it to him all over again. They are bad news, bad bad news and they’re going to-!
Overthrow… Diavolo…? Is that what he is getting from them…? Huh…
Wait a second, MC. You might just have him interested… 😏
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prismartist · 4 years ago
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Ponk’s discoveries and what they mean
Y’all haven’t been paying attention to Ponk and it shows. /lh
He has made many discoveries in his recent streams that are just begging to be talked about, and I, as the resident maker of farfetched theories, will take up the job of compiling and connecting them to the current lore.
For those who don’t know, Ponk recently built up the lore of Not A Very Good Town Town, aka the village that went mad, through a book he found in the basement of Jack’s (the potato farmer, not Manifold) Ye Old Farmhouse, written by Jack himself. And it reveals some interesting information.
There’s going to be a few sections for this post: first, breaking down what is in the journal, then theories as to what exactly happened to the village, and how these discoveries can tie into the current storyline.
The journal
For one, Jack seems to have interacted an entity that’s eerily similar to Foolish. In the first page there’s an entry that reads:
“Day 790 The strange man is back, his body made of straw but eyes of emrald.”
On the second page as well, it mentions:
“Day 800 A NEW LAND! A land that uses sand as stone! Gold.... GOLD EVERYWHERE!”
Which, of course, probably pertains to Foolish’s desert home, which also has a significant amount of gold due to the Egyptian theme.
But why would we get Foolish lore from Ponk of all people, instead of the totem god himself? Well, Ponk was the first person Foolish interacted with on the server aside from Dream, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they talked more after that and collabed for lore.
But anyways, now we move on to the more interesting section:
“Day 840 The Strange man has returned his name still unknown... BUT! he has brought a caravan of good! he talks about ancient magic and gifts 21 statues transported in make shift boats.”
Jack then goes on to describe that the statues are “calming” for him, before the next entry, written ten days later, show a disturbing shift in attitude.
“Day 855 CATS I HEAR CATS, CATS IN THE WALLS IN THE WALLS”
And another one five days later:
“DAY 900 murder... the cats murder ,,, the people I showed Shrimpy my satues he seems too intrested BUT THEY ARE MY SATUES”
Now those who saw the episode know that Jack and Bob (Shrimpy) turned out to be the murderers of the “canon round”. Seeing as those two people were the only ones exposed to the statues as we know, it’s logical to assume that the statues were the reason they went mad.
And this is backed up by the next entry:
“Day 905 SUDDEN URGE TO MURDER, THAT HELGA WOMEN IS TEMPTING BUT DAMN HER HUSBAND NEEDS TO GO BY ANY MEANS NESS…..”
Then there are two blank pages before the journal concludes
“Day 1040 Just me and Shrimpy and the cool statues life is good go od goo d g ood go odgood g oodg ood go odg good goo dgood goo dgood g ood good good good goodgoo d go od g ood go od dgo od g oo go od go o d - JACK”
It’s creepy as shit. But moving on.
There’s a lot of questions to be asked here. Why did Foolish–if it is Foolish–visit the Town? Why exactly did he gift a bunch of statues that drove Jack and Shrimpy to madness and murder? Why are there cats in the walls?
(Well, cats are very significant to Egyptian culture, even to a cult-like status, but that’s for another post.)
There are a few possibilities.
What exactly were the effects that Foolish had on the Town?
(Here’s the farfetched theories part lmao)
The simplest (and let’s be honest, the most likely) theory is that the statues probably had way too much power that caused people to become overprotective over them. Foolish just didn’t realize and wanted to give some nice gifts, but the statues drove Jack and Bob to insanity after being exposed to them for way too long. So they killed everyone.
However, considering certain factors, there is another possibility, specifically surrounding:
The “non-canon” round.
Did Karl say that it was a practice round and thus not canon? Yes. Am I suggesting it’s canon anyway for the sake of this theory that probably won’t be true? Also yes.
Besides, Karl probably also didn’t plan for TVTWM to be influential to the storyline, but because of it his character’s now a time traveler and Ponk is pulling out more lore so.
I think Foolish came by and gifted the statues, the first round did happen, and he brought them back to life after the first game. But the resurrection affected Jack and Bob, driving them to madness à la gothic horror lit character that just saw something they weren’t supposed to. Perhaps their attitude became cult-like, praising Foolish, thus the overprotectiveness over the statues as they were connected to the god, or they were of the opinion that “Hey no, everyone’s supposed to be dead,” and then sought to make that true once again.
“But then what about the first round, where everyone also died?” You may scoff at the ridiculous theory, poking my chest accusingly. “Why were the killers different?”
Well, I have a simple answer for that.
Egg.
“What, the egg again-“ I know, I know, it may seem tiring tying everything back to the egg, but hear me out.
In another one of Ponk’s streams, “Dreams of potatos?”, at 58:15 (correct me if wrong) Ponk had a dream where Mayor Jimmy was saying disjointed sentences to Jack, scolding him, telling him to stay away from Helga, and also something about burning Miles Memeington being burned at the stake for being a witch (????). At the end of it, Jimmy turned to the camera.
And his eyes were red.
Which, of course, is a telltale sign of being infected by the egg.
The egg being the main plot right now, seeing as it can easily be connected to the “Red-Eyed Village Wars”, and the fact that it is known to control people to murder, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to point to it as being the cause.
It also helps that Jimmy was only a character from the first round; in the “canon” round, Bad had changed his character to some sort of constable or something.
So the egg may have controlled Jimmy and Cornelius, the murderers in the first round, to kill everyone, Foolish then came along, resurrected everyone murdered in the first round, gotten rid of the egg’s influence, and then left. Then whatever effects the statues had on Jack and Bob took affect.
Alternatively, the statues may have been the ones to resurrect the dead, or have been given as protection from any threats, but became haywire for one reason or another. They influenced Jack and Bob to protect the statues at any cost, and they took it too far. Which may seem a little hypocritical as the egg literally does the same thing, but fire fights fire and all that.
And, just like with Karl, if Foolish has had to deal with the egg before, it makes sense why he’s so averse to it now.
Current lore
Now, how does this tie into the current storyline?

Aside from the egg, if resurrection and items do affect one’s psyche, then maybe that’s the same reason why Schlatt and even Dream–the only other two who know how to resurrect–acted the way they did, becoming apathetic to the wellbeing of other people.
Also, it is worth noting that in the basement where Ponk found the journal, there were 21 villagers in boats, the same amount as the statues. Thus Ponk concluded that they are the statues. And Foolish does have an affinity for villagers, if King Toad is any indication. This implies that Foolish can not only bring dead people back to life, but can also grant life to objects that never lived in the first place. Or, they were once living, but had their life taken away from them before getting it back for one reason or another. If Foolish really has this much power, it could be foreshadowing for future events where those powers will be utilized.
About the bloodvines, if Foolish has defeated them before, there’s a chance he may do it again. Unless something goes wrong and he accidentally drives a few people to madness.
(or maybe they were predisposed to madness, who knows-)
TL;DR
Foolish may have interacted with Not A Very Good Town Town before to save them from the egg and resurrect the dead, driving Jack and Bob to insanity as a consequence. Thus he could have a lot of power and will be the one to potentially defeat the egg once again.
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letyukisayfuck · 2 years ago
Note
what’s snow mountain syndrome?
okay, thinking i maybe gave a bit of the wrong impression with my initial statement- snow mountain syndrome is a short story from the light novel the rampage of haruhi suzumiya, the fifth haruhi suzumiya light novel (the other stories, if you're curious, are endless eight and day of sagittarius)
it is by far the longest story in that book (a full 80 pages in the copy i have, i think?); and a sort-of sequel to remote island syndrome (which is incredibly different in the light novels compared to the anime, a change that fascinates me even knowing what sparked it)
it's actually also one of my favorites, despite a lot of what i'm about to talk about
(obvious warning for spoilers for snow mountain syndrome and possibly other haruhi stories in here)
so, before we get into this: it's not, like, canon erotica or whatever. this is not sword art online (i won't tell you to look it up, just believe me that it exists and was written by the og author- who later claimed it was made as a joke).
that said, please heed the content warning of this post, because it does still contain sexual themes. the series in general kinda does (realistic teenager behavior), but this is probably the peak of it. let's go over things from my memory, which means a few minor details might get mixed up, but this should be mostly accurate and i'll try and remember to revisit it after reading the story again anyway:
so, the gang are all trapped in a mysterious house where time doesn't work. this happens pretty early on, after they get stranded in a blizzard. they learn time doesn't work because haruhi and kyon break off to investigate, have a conversation that shouldn't take more than like half an hour (and haruhi expresses some degree of discomfort with kyon paying more attention to yuki, as this story takes place very shortly after disappearance. they then form the Yuki Protection Squad after kyon lies about what's going on in a way that gets Some of the idea across), but when they get back to the others it's been three hours
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(this is adorable. protect yuki at all costs)
so they get settled in the suspicious mystery mansion, as you do, while time continues to Not Work. they all pick out bedrooms next to each other. now, the Scene That Most People Remember from snow mountain takes place after everyone goes to bed:
kyon trying to think of some solution for their current situation is interrupted by mikuru coming into his room wearing different clothes than she had ten minutes ago (also less of them) and invading his personal space. she asks to sleep with him and starts taking her clothes off.
however, she's missing a specific mark (the same one that was mentioned in melancholy), cluing kyon in to the fact that she is either not real or simply Not Mikuru (on top of the way she's acting)
she's sad about it and runs out of the room, when kyon realizes the door has been locked the whole time. he runs after not-mikuru, opens the door, and finds haruhi (whose room is directly across from his) also sticking her head out of the door. and also everyone else.
the context is understandable but i find it endlessly hilarious that this is one of the only times haruhi is genuinely shaken by something
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this bit establishes something important- everyone had one of those weird horny nightmare scenarios. i put haruhi first because, as i said, i think her response is very funny since she's rarely this out of it
from koizumi and mikuru, we get these:
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which leaves yuki:
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yuki passes out immediately after this. honestly, mood.
"why are you still talking about this story after getting the point?", you may be asking
it's because snow mountain syndrome, on top of the Not-Mikuru Scene and its followup, is just kind of batshit insane
so yuki passes out, haruhi immediately goes into Protect Sick Yuki mode and sends kyon to go get some supplies to help out. he runs into koizumi on his way back, they talk about math, and kyon is about to beat the absolute shit out of koizumi when haruhi interrupts and tells them to knock it off
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(this isn't from the book, but it captures the sentiment nicely.)
i, personally, am of the opinion that they should be allowed to fight. i think it would be funny. we get haruhi and kyon wrestling on the floor twice, i think we deserve kyon and koizumi getting into a fistfight.
anyway they return to talking about math and, via yuki being the MVP even when completely out of commission, they use math to solve the equation that lets them out of the suspicious mystery mansion.
they get out alright (though not before koizumi joins the Yuki Protection Squad and affirms his loyalty to the SOS Brigade), and haruhi fusses over yuki as they return to the group. there's some good tsuruya content in this bit too
and then koizumi passes the whole thing off as a group hallucination. kyon isn't totally convinced that haruhi bought it, but she at least tentatively claims to.
and that's snow mountain syndrome, one of the weirdest stories in the haruhi catalogue!
sorry for how long this response took, but i hope you can understand why
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syubub · 4 years ago
Text
May 13th Reading
Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.
Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!
Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.
(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)
So so so so
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Let's start.
I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!
Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.
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The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?
I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.
The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"
And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.
I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were
Now this part:
"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"
Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.
This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.
Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.
Anyways
He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.
I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.
Now let's begin the monster read.
So. The first row of cards
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I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"
Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.
The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.
So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?
Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles
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This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.
I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.
Soulmate time
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Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.
As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)
Now for the bad boys in the middle
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The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.
Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.
FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.
For the row of bottom cards
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I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.
Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.
Now to the sides!
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Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.
So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)
We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.
The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.
"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"
Now for soulmates cards (same structure)
Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."
Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.
Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"
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The last stretch my friends.
So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"
Now we have heaven sent.
""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"
" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."
And free from judgment, free to love
" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."
" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."
" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.
And that's all for the cards but but but.
Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.
So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up
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You gotta be fucking with me.
Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.
YOONGGGIIII
Anyway,
I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.
As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"
And then
It hit me
"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"
I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.
The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.
I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat
But Mr smug butt had different plans.
My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????
My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"
Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.
(Asshole)
Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?
To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.
Thanks, buddy.
Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.
My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.
Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!
~~~~
That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.
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plus-size-reader · 4 years ago
Text
Hunters Wedding
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Dean Winchester x Plus size!reader
Word Count: 1550 words
Warnings:none
Summary: Dean had been wrestling with something for quite some time and finally confronts the reader about it. 
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You never thought you'd get married.
Ever.
You had grown up in a hunters family, fully aware that what your dad called a "blue collar" life wasn't for you. In that respect, while your parents were married, you knew that wasn't going to be the path you would follow personally.
It was just too dangerous.
Having someone you loved in the sort of life where you tracked down and killed some of the most heinous monsters you'd ever seen was too great a risk. Those sorts of things were a liability, and could only end badly.
Maybe being raised understanding that had changed the way you saw the world around you, at least in a romantic sense, but you didn't care. You didn't even give getting married a second thought, all your life.
Even getting into a relationship was questionable when you got to the point in your life.
You and Dean were in a relationship for all intensive purposes but it was never supposed to be more than that. You didn't even like calling it a relationship really. It was more of a partnership. You cared about each other and you kept each other alive, and that was enough for you.
That was all you needed.
You kept him at an arms length, whether you wanted to admit it or not, just so you didn't get too close. You both sort of lived in fear of what could happen if you got too close and something happened to the other.
Losing him would break your heart, and you were painfully aware of that. Still, there had been a shift in him recently and you could tell that something was going on with him. You had no idea what it was, but you were sure you'd find out before too long.
It was no secret that Dean had always craved the family that he'd never had a chance to be a part of. Maybe it was buried deep down, and maybe he liked to pretend that it wasn't there but you were going to figure it out at some point.
He wanted to have a family, but more than anything, he wanted to have a family with you.
...That was the exact moment he decided he was going to ask you to marry him.
However, it wasn't as simple as just asking. You had made it abundantly clear that you had no intention of ever getting married, and while Dean knew you loved him, he wanted to respect that.
Hell, he understood your reasons better than anyone else ever could but he just couldn't shake the feeling he had that he needed to make you his wife. Deep down in his gut, he just knew that he had to.
So he did the only thing he knew to do, he asked.
It took everything he had to build up the courage but after listening to the pump up jams of classic rock and shotgunning a beer or two, he just decided that he was gonna do it. There was no more thinking that needed to be done, and he couldn't put it off anymore.
You knew there was something wrong with him immediately.
More than normal, Dean was being squirrely. He entered the bunker's concrete kitchen with a strange jaunt in his step, doing his best to seem inconspicuous as he scanned the files Sam had left on the table.
It may have worked, if you were blind or dim but every time you thought maybe he'd just eaten a bad burger, he glanced back up at you. That made it pretty clear to you that the blonde had something on his mind that he wanted to share.
"Can I help you?" you wondered finally, having finally had enough when he glanced over his shoulder again to make sure you were still standing there, though you clearly hadn't moved.
You were just minding your own business, trying to make those gluten free pancakes Sam had been raving about all week for when he got back from the morgue. However, seeing as you knew Dean wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole, you knew it wasn't about the food.
"I made regular pancakes too, so don't get pouty on me" you warned, only half joking in an attempt to get him to spill his guts before you had to break out the interrogation chair. You could get it out of him, but frankly, you were too lazy for that.
It would be much simpler if Dean would just open up for once.
"I want to marry you"
Those five words fell from Dean's lips before he even meant for them to and as soon as they did, all thoughts of joking left your mind. Surely he was kidding, after all, you knew he shared your opinions of marriage in this life.
The two of you frequently made fun on those people who tried to balance both lifestyles, so you knew he wasn't actually suggesting that you try to do the same. That would be ridiculous...wouldn't it?
"Come again?" you asked finally, fully aware that you must have sounded insane. Still, you couldn't possibly wrap your brain around anything more than that. Could you have heard him wrong? Maybe you were having a stroke.
At this point, nothing was off the table.
Dean took a deep breathe, still not looking at you. He had no idea how to recover from that, though now that it was out in the open, he might as well just get it off his chest. After a second, much longer deep breathe, he spoke.
"I think that we should get married" he repeated, not really giving you the clarification you'd been searching for. There was very little you could read from the situation, now fully ignoring the sizzling, and likely burning, of that pancake batter in the pan.
Ok, so you hadn't heard him wrong, at least you knew that much. What you had to figure out now was if he was the one having a stroke. What he was suggesting didn't sound like the Dean you knew at all.
"You think that we should get married?" you clarified, you were pretty sure that was what he was suggesting but you were just having trouble wrapping your brain around it. You really just hadn't seen this coming and you were caught off guard.
Naturally, you needed a few moments to process this.
You were pretty sure that you and Dean were on the same page when it came to this but if he wanted to talk about changing it, you weren't going to shut him down immediately either. He had been really open to hearing you out and you owed him the same courtesy.
Dean nodded in response to your question but said nothing else while you turned off the burner on the stove, making your way over to him as quickly as you could. "Okay, let's talk about it. I assume this is why you've been so strange these last few days?"
Without missing a beat, you sat down at the table, waiting until he did the same across from you to say anything else. The two of you were adults, and you could handle this, even if it was a lot for you to take on at once.
See, for you and for Dean as well, you knew that a talk about marriage wasn't just talking about marriage. It was also a talk about taking your relationship to another, more intimate level, and in a lot of ways, it forced you to think about losing him too.
It was an emotional rollercoaster if nothing else, and you just had to give it time to settle before talking it through.
"It doesn't have to be a big thing, I'm just driving myself crazy here" he started, fully aware how strange he was reacting to all this. It wasn't the Dean you were used to at all, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
Now that you stopped to think about it, a hunters wedding wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
"You really want to do this don't you?" you hummed, reaching out to take his hand in your own, immediately feeling his other hand clasp down onto of yours. It created an airlock of sorts, from which you couldn't get your hand back, but you didn't care.
Right now, you were far too preoccupied with all the unanswered questions and feelings to even worry about that.
"I really do"
...That was that.
"Okay, If you really want to do this, we'll do it" you shrugged, it wasn't exactly how either of you thought today was going to go down of course, but maybe that wasn't the worst thing. A proposal was a hell of a lot better than an apocalypse.
Now you just had to figure out what that meant for the two of you, but first, you had to call Jody. You had no idea how she would react to something like this but she was the closest thing to family you had and you knew she'd want to know.
Speaking of, Sam was going to have a heyday when he got home. His pancakes were ruined, but something told you he wouldn't mind.
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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years ago
Text
HASO, “Living the Dream.”
I didn’t get a lot of time to write today, but I hope you all still like it :)
“No! Absolutely not!”
“This isn’t your decision to make.”
“President, this is completely insane. You have to see that.”
The two officers turned to look at the president of the UN who sat in his seat idly fiddling with a paperclip. It spun, once and then twice between the fingers of his right hand before he bothered to look up. 
The UN president was a sturdy man in his late sixties with greying hair, dark eyes and a slight paunch.  He wasn’t a man of unusual intelligence or anything like that. In fact his greatest ability and charismatic character in front of a crowd, but behind the scenes, the man was racked with indecision and uncertainty.
Admiral Kelly stepped forward and looked around the table at the other ranking officers falling lastly on the UN president who she stuck with a steady gaze, one she had been told when she was captain, had the ability to freeze even the bravest man’s blood in his veins.
“The GA has made their decision and I tend to agree with them.”
“It’s madness.” Another officer said leaning forward in his seat.
“That boy doesn’t have nearly enough experience. He was on your ship for less than a year, has only flown ten combat missions in his entire career, AND only a SINGLE ground Op.”
Another Admiral stood in agreement to back them up, “The boy is barely old enough to grow a beard much less command a ship. He has no experience.”
Admiral kelly kept her eyes narrowed. 
She knew the kind of effect she had on people. Even though she was no more than five foot five, her parents had always said her personality added another three feet.
“With all due respect, Admirals, how many of you have more than a year of experience dealing with aliens?”
The men’s jaws worked but they said nothing.
“How many of you have even fought in an alien war?”
More silence.
“How many of you have been on an alien ship?”
No one responded.
She stood from her seat, hands resting behind her back, “If you are expecting to find someone with more experience, you are kidding yourselves. And don’t come at me with some bullshit about how other officers have more combat experience. You may be right but that was against HUMANS, human conflicts and human wars. We need someone who doesn’t have their head so stuck in the past. If we send a vet in, MAYBE they will be able to deal with an alien conflict, and maybe they’d fowl it up by thinking humans are the same as aliens.” She looked around the table, “If we look at this, really look at this, he has the most experience out of ANYONE in the UNSC. He was the first one to discover aliens, he offered himself as a subject to be tested by aliens, he helped to establish communication between our species. He fought in an alien war and lived, and afterwards he came back for more.”
She turned to look around the room, her hands held wide, “The GA love him, the Chairwoman knows him by name, and they asked for him personally. Most of this isn’t even about alien conflict. We don’t have to worry about his prowess on the battlefield if there are never any battles. He doesn’t want to fight them, which means he will do everything possible to avoid war, and, most importantly, he is still loyal to the UNSC.”
She looked around at them with a very serious expression,
“I don’t need to tell you about what It took to survive operation steel eye. I know you've all read the reports. By rights that boy should be suing the UNSC for all it’s worth, but for some reason he is loyal enough to come limping back to lay at the feet of the UNSC. If I were him I would have gotten out at the first opportunity, but he’s proven a loyalty to the UNSC that we can’t just pass up. He has experience, he has guts, and he has loyalty to spare, and, lord forgive me for saying this, but if he does fail, no one will be surprised. But if he succeeds, he will be a success story the UNSC can front for the rest of this millenia.”
Looking around the table she could see that her words were making some impact on the waiting generals. She felt bad about some of the things she was saying. She hated making it out to seem like the boy was just a pawn to be used and discarded if it didn’t turn out, but that was the sort of thing these men understood. She could raise other points, the real points, but they wouldn’t be likely to listen.
She could blab at them all day about her experience with the young man. How she knew him to be ready to work, honest to a fault, funny, charismatic in an awkward sort of way, and probably the most trustworthy young man on the face of the damn planet. If there was anyone she would trust to hold the entire world in the palm of their hand, she would let him do it. Granted she would supervise him to make sure he didn’t accidentally drop it, but she KNEW that given time and some maturing the boy would make an excellent leader.
She could feel it in her bones.
Right into her marrow.
Andshe would always be there to watch him and provide her expertise if he ever needed it. 
She wasn’t worried.
Instead of saying any of this she took a deep breath, “We are going into a new age, and we need to have flexible minds. Old war dogs like us aren’t going to cut it, too setin our ways.” She turned to look around the room, “And if he fails, I will take full responsibility for his actions.”
She knew what she was doing was rash, setting her entire career on one man, and no more than a boy at that, but she had faith, and more than that, she knew who had trained him, and had to admit that he had a pretty damn good mentor.
***
Adam Vir had fallen asleep.
No one could really blame him, his flight back from Andromeda had come in late, and he hadn’t slept in over 24 hours, but still, slouched against the wall in a cheap plastic chair with his mouth open and a line of drool running down his face was hardly becoming. Despite this, no one gave him a second lance as they hurried up and down the hallway at fort harmony listening to the distant sounds of jet engines starting up on the runway crisp and cool in the early morning chill.
“Lieutenant.” Adam Vir jerked in his seat as a boot gently kicked his shoe, nearly toppling over.
“YES!”
He looked up to find Admiral Kelly standing over him, and made an undignified scrambled to his feet wiping drool from his cheek feeling red rise up from under his collar as he made a wobbly and very undignified salute.
She only smiled, “At ease, Lieutenant, and come with me.”
He let his hand dropped and he quickly followed her up the hall watching as eyes turned to look at them in mild curiosity as they passed.
Admirals didn’t often speak to lowly first lieutenants, “Where are we going, ma’am.”
She turned a corner and he nearly ran himself into the wall, dodging to the side only at the last minute and staggering a bit as he tried to keep pace with her. He was blushing madly now feeling like a clumsy idiot next to her graceful strides. 
What he wouldn’t give to be just a little bit more like her, so calm and cool and poised and…
She motioned him into the next door, and he stepped inside,holding it open for her as he did.
It was her office, which he guessed by the name plate on her desk and several shadow boxes on the wall behind her desk, each one of hem holding some medal or award or other she had received for distinguished service.
The glass on those boxes was old and mostly coated in dust not having been disturbed in a long time, as in comparison to the framed picture on her desk, which was lovingly dusted clean every morning. It looked like a picture of her family, brothers, sisters, mother and father. Her father being a very tall, very broad looking islander, while her mother was a very petite asian woman.
She clearly hadn’t interhited her father’s height, and looked more like her mother.
She Turned to sit behind the desk, hands clasped before her as the stars glittered lightly on the shoulders of her uniform.
Kelly nodded for him to sit and he did as requested.
She nodded to the yellow envelope on the desk before her, “Open it.”
He paused, and did as told, opening the envelope and tipping it’s contents out onto the desk.
His eyes were caught at first by a large folded blueprint, which he opened and spread out on half the desk before him.
It didn’t take him long to figure out what it was.
He glanced up at her, “Is this the new ship?”
She nodded.
“Next generation?” he was practically drooling, “What I wouldn’t give to fly one of these.” He looked up at her, “Are you going to be flying her, she’s beautiful.” Granted all he could see were the white lines of the blueprint but he could just imagine.”
She smiled slightly.
“Why don’t you take a look at the rest of it.”
He forced his eyes away from the blueprint and down to the rest of the packet.
On the table before him two glittering silver bars winked up at him.
He reached out with a hand and picked up the captain’ bars frowning. He then turned his attention to a pile of white papers and quickly scanned his eyes over the pages. Aam Vir may have behaved like a big idiot but he had been top of his class at the academy, and unlike the big oaf he looked like, he had pretty good reading comprehension.
Didn’t take him more than a few seconds to scan the page and…. freeze .
He blinked, re-read the lines five or six times.
Re read it again.
Looked up at kelly then back at the paper then back up at kelly.
“I…. what is this?”
She tried to contain the small smile that flickered over the front of his face, “What does it look like.”
“It…. well it LOOKS like a written recommendation for a promotion… a promotion to captain and orders to loan out for the GA…. on the next constructed interstellar ship.. .but….”
He looked up knowing what he hoped but not daring to believe.
It was when her small knowing smile was split by a grin that he knew.
His ears went suddenly muffled, his heart sped up to light speed and he thought he could hear her speaking but he couldn't hear her.
“No way!” he said 
“No way, no way no way. No friggin WAY.”
She stood, and he stood, and he found he didn’t know what to do with his hands he found himself walking in a small circle. He held the paper out to hre, “IS this serious, are you serious?”
“Serious as a heart attack.”
“No way.”
“Yes way.” “You’re serious.”
“I just said so.”
He looked down at the page and then back up again one last time, and he was suddenly so overwhelmed that he just couldn’t handle it anymore and he threw his arms around her. It was probably the most unprofessional show of emotion the UNSC had ever seen. No salute, no handshake none of that professional stuff.
Instead, he, a junior officer, was hugging the fleet commander, who he now realized was like  almost nine inches shorter than he was, and…. Was he crying?
Yep, crying like a big ugly baby, ok maybe not so bad.
He was laughing and crying and completely overwhelmed to the point of probably losing his promotion.
Luckily for him Admiral Kelly laughed with him.
Man she was was fucking amazing.
Until he eventually pulled away grinning like an idiot and not bothering to wipe his eyes..
“Take a couple deep breaths for me, Captain.”
Captain!
He loved the sound of that.
Captain Vir
Captain Adam Vir of the UNSC.
He took a few deep breaths, calmed himself down enough so he could speak, straightened up, “Thank you ma’am, I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t. Now get out of here, and pull yourself together before the promotion ceremony.”
He grinned again, “Yes Ma’am.” In his enthusiasm turning away, he nearly tripped over his pushed out chair, but managed to right himself before hand, giving a rueful smile and running from the room.
He managed to make it outside before bursting with excitement jumping up into the air and pumping his fist, before dancing around in a circle shouting and chanting.
A couple columns of marching soldiers looked very confused as they walked past him like he was some kind of lunatic, but it didn’t matter to him.
He had made it!
He had made it 
His dream had come true and he had made it. 
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sweetsubharry · 4 years ago
Note
hey ! sorry to bother you but could you reccomend me some fics of footballer louis?? thank you !! love your acc
Hiya!!  💖you can never bother me!! ^-^ ohmgosh I’m so glad you like my blog! I love footballer louis djskasdhjag tysm(sorry it took soooo long!)
please make sure you read the tags and stay safe everyone!💖
Also these are not in any particular order, however I will say the first two are probably my favourites ;) I have to read them again right after this!
freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by rosesau
Harry (not so) secretly crushes on the cute footie player and fills pages with sketches of him.
Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow by 1Diamondinthesun
Harry spends most of his time in an empty house or a lonely darkroom, dreaming of leaving his small town for art school. He's invisible to most people. And then Louis Tomlinson sees him. Life will never be the same.
Or, the American high school AU loosely inspired by She's All That.
Definition of Beauty by zanni_scaramouche
“Your book is upside down.” Harry nods at Louis’ book, his history text now that he sees it too.
“I’d rather study you.”
They both blink, startled by the slip.
“With you. Study with you,” Louis rushes to say. “Liam says I’m shite at history, can you help?”
Louis’ caught off guard by an omega he nearly takes out with an errant footie ball. It’s not that Louis’ never seen Harry before, it’s that he can’t stop looking, and he’s desperate to figure him out.
Coffee Cups and Football Boots by kimtaedumb
Harry’s stood behind the counter again, but this time he’s painting his nails. Louis strolls up to the counter and, thanks to his no brain-to-mouth filter, blurts out, “Isn’t that a little girlish, Haz?” leaning closer to inspect.
Harry lets out a little huff as his hand slips, “Oh, damn, now I’ve messed it up,” he pouts and turns to Louis, “Why should making myself feel pretty be girly?”
Louis holds up his hands in surrender, “’M not judging, jus’ curious is all.”
(The entirely cheesy and cliché Christmas AU, in which Harry doesn’t give a damn what people think about him – mostly – and Louis may be a little bit in love.
Alternatively, the one in which Harry owns a café that’s barely scraping by and Louis is a footballer and he takes Harry away for Christmas.
Featuring Zayn as a cocky little shit that most definitely needs to be put back in his place, Niall as the loveable Irish dude who drinks too much and flirts with Zayn more than the average girl, and Liam who loves everyone but hates them all at the same time.)
Way in the World by flowsque
When Louis Tomlinson enters the waiting room, Harry can distinctly feel his heart sinking to his stomach. The man's hair is ruffled and dishevelled and his red jersey, damp with sweat from training, clings to his perfect and chiseled body. He stands there, almost unreal, against the glass door, peering inside the office. Harry knew this would’ve happened, sooner or later. That he would have bumped into him. They play for the same club after all, even if they’re in different leagues. It’s not weird. It is not. Except it totally is. - Or, the one where Harry has a knee injury and an embarrassing crush on Manchester United's pretty number ten.
I Long For You by AnotherAnonymousWriter
Thirty minutes later, he's sat on a bench in Hyde Park with a book in his lap and a travel mug with hot tea in his hand. Not far from where he's sat, a group of boys are playing football and a bunch of children are chasing each other. Life is good.
Or at least, life is good until he hears a familiar “LOOK OUT!” and sees a football flying in the direction of his face.
And then everything is black.
(Harry gets hit in the head by various objects and falls for a boy with blue eyes.)
ease the quiet and talk me down by cabinbythesea
Harry's a model and Louis' a footie player.
(Louis teaches Harry some football and Harry is insanely good at giving a lapdance).
Baby, It's You by Bearandleonardwrite
"Oh, yeah. Um..” Harry lets his hands fall to his sides. His brows furrow, face full of concern, and he asks, “You’re not, like, stalking me, are you?”
Louis can’t help the loud cackle that escapes his lips and immediately slaps one of his hands over his mouth to muffle the sound. “Oh my god, Harry, no!” Louis tells him, a little breathlessly, giggles still bubbling out of his chest. “Lottie’s one of the makeup artists here today and she somehow got me to agree to come. I had no idea you modeled for, uh.. this brand until I saw you walk.”
“Oh,” Harry says dumbly, eyebrows still pinched. He lets what Louis just said sink in before a bright grin takes over his face and he goes back to doing up the buttons on his shirt. “Well, that’s alright, then. I’m glad you could make it.
(Basically, Louis' a footie player for Man U and Harry's a YSL model. They meet at a masquerade.)
Touch by kotabear24
Harry's shy and virginal with a past, new on the football team; Louis' the (experienced) popular star of the team and Harry's new mentor.
Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes)
He’d had the same neighbours since he’d moved into the building, a lovely, wealthy couple in their late sixties who had always invited him around for tea on Sundays. Martha had dropped off homemade biscuits the day he’d moved in, so Harry figured he may as well repeat the sentiment. He could hear someone getting closer to the door just as a flush ran through his body; oh fuck. His heat was close, too close to be knocking on a potentially unknown alpha’s door, but it was too late. The door swung open, and Harry’s mouth dropped. He’d never been overly interested in football, couldn’t find the fascination in watching men run around after a ball for hours aside from their uniforms, but he knew who this was. Louis Tomlinson, alpha, captain of Manchester United, star in a number of Harry’s heat addled fantasies, was his new next-door neighbour.
Or, Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.
see the truth (it's me for you) by orphan_account
If you asked Louis the first day of his French Literature class what he’d be doing on the last, he’d probably never have guessed it would involve helping a poorly Harry Styles study for the final exam. Good thing he’s not a betting man.
(Or the one where Louis and Harry spend an entire semester ignoring each other after a one-night stand, only to come face to face when Harry manages to catch the stomach flu during finals week. Sometimes fate is funny like that.)
Use Your Words by zedi
based off this prompt: collage au where jock!harry always serenades flowercrown!louis with love songs in their music class. what nobody knows is that harry actually kinda means the words he sings.
But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.
Stop The World (I Wanna Get Off With You) by ilikepianos
"You like this, don't you?", he asks breathlessly.
What? Sucking cock? Being dominated? Yes, all of that. A big fat yes.
Harry nods, lips still wrapped around Louis' throbbing dick.
Louis' lips curl into a smirk. "Keep going then. You're doing amazing, love."
OR: The uni-football AU where Harry may or may not have a minor crush on the captain of the team and suddenly discovers that the feeling is very much mutual.
Picture Perfect by LittleBubbleStyles
an AU where Louis Tomlinson is a misunderstood football player, and Harry Styles is a misunderstood photographer. Somehow, they're understood together.
I just think about my baby; I'm so full of love I could barely eat by mercutionotromeo
Harry and Louis are six hundred miles apart, but they have the same solutions to the same problem.
Or: a masturbation drabble featuring pillow humping, locker rooms, and copious amounts of dirty talk.
into another (another) serotonin overflow by mercutionotromeo
Harry wants this year to be different - wants it to be the year that he finally gets over this stupid crush. He’s going to uni, he needs to decide what he wants to do with his life.
Instead, he’s deciding what he wants to do to Louis Tomlinson.
Or: Sweet first time sex wherein Harry's adorably awkward, Louis is achingly cool, and Harry rides Louis wearing his jersey.
note: it says it in the tag but this is the edited version written in 2019, rather than the 2017 original- so there’s two put I put the link for the newest one :)
need a little sweetness in my life by mercutionotromeo
Harry's always liked feeling desperate and small when Louis touches him, but when he sucks Harry off...it’s fucking otherworldly. Desperate’s not really the word at that point - it’s helpless. Like… like the fucking world could stop spinning and Harry wouldn’t be able to do anything about it until Louis finished him off with his lips and his tongue.
Or, Harry and Louis go to university together. Harry really likes it when Louis sucks him off, and Louis really likes it when Harry calls him Daddy.
(Sequel to "into another serotonin overflow")
I made a map of your stars by brightbluelou
Harry does not have a crush on Louis Tomlinson. Yes, Louis is very pretty and funny, and Harry may have had more than a few inappropriate thoughts about him, but he certainly doesn’t like him. (Except for the fact that he totally does.) or, Harry is the shy boy in the back of the class that no one really notices. Louis is the loud, outgoing football player that everybody likes.
We Made These Memories for Ourselves by supernope
Breath held, Harry squints his eyes open and focuses on the first stick. A blue line. Harry breathes out an unsteady breath. He’s pretty sure he read that one blue line is a negative, but he fishes the box from the bottom of the pile just to make sure.
“Negative,” he confirms, voice echoing around the small room. “Next.”
Now that he’s feeling a little less shaky, he scans the rest of the tests at once, is met with a headache-inducing mixture of pink plus signs and blue double lines. His heart rate picks up until it’s pounding triple-time in the base of his throat and the pit of his stomach, thundering in his ears and throbbing in his temples. He flips over the rest of the boxes slowly, but he knows what they’re going to say before he even looks.
[or, Louis is a footballer, Harry owns a bakery, and they're having a baby.]
Kiss Me on the Mouth and Set Me Free by ls2k14   
Louis has his head thrown back in a laugh, his wet fringe hanging in front of his eyes, and a beautiful flush to his cheeks. From this angle, the sun hits his face just right to where the beams of light are shining in between the spaces of each individual clump of watered down eyelashes. His chest is showing through the soaked material of his white jersey and it seems that his biceps are attempting to break free from the sleeves that are clinging to his skin.
And Harry can do nothing except take it all in. He doesn’t even think he’s breathing at this point. He is literally stuck in place, admiring the true beauty of Louis Tomlinson, while being surrounded by fit footballers and generally attractive people. He doesn’t think he’s ever been in love before, but if Louis let him, he’s pretty damn sure he could change that in the matter of a few nanoseconds.
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