#now me and my friend are far too lazy to review it so we know in ourselves that we're innocent

[jujianjes]

I'm done with this class, my dudes!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-08-04

(Previous post - current page 440)

Breaktime's over, it's about time to continue! Expect me to take a handful of days between each posting-day like this just to pace myself, and have time for fun video games and other such. But I've been really enjoying finally reading more HS2 too, especially seeing such hopeful stuff like this last pair of pages really hitting home on the optimism! Let's get back to it.

Meanwhile...

Wait did we SEE her keel back over like this? Alt!Callie in this younger/teenage corpse of Jade Harley's body I mean? When did that happen? *thumbs back through old pages...* Let's see here... my browser still glitches the fuck out seizureways at the few pages that were Blacked Out, so i'll use a backup browser for those... no, further back... oh wow I forgot Aradia got such a cool Calliope-supporting outfit to show off she's on their side, literally zero memory of that and that's some FINE drip...

Oh shit wait, so it happened back over here??? (289/290)

--I figured back then she'd gotten a snap headache because of having to abandon possessing Jade's MAIN body in the struggle Alt!Calliope had with Jade's consciousness culminating around page 168, but these cuts are all so far apart-- and being knocked out of the other Jade's body shouldn't have knocked her out of this CORPSE. So is somethign entirely NEW going on that has to do perhaps with Dirk Strider's plans to maintain control of the narrative when the other kids arrive there?? Hmmm.

Anyway now I know where that bonus panel I'd accidentally glimpsed with "god-tier bodies don't decompose right" that I mentioned last blogging session came from. But why the fuck?

==>

Gosh I've missed seeing panels like this.

Wait, why are we cutting to CANDY JOHN like that's relevant here? Wasn't he in Roxy's secret lab last we saw him? Does THAT have something to do with this?! Oh shit.

(John: Investigate noise.)

Following Roxy's instructions, you proceed in the direction of the noise to go and meet up with your old friends. You approach where you thought you heard them, but to your surprise you hear an unfamiliar voice grumbling something incoherent.

JOHN: uhhh, rose? jade? JOHN: ... kanaya?

Hm? What was going on upstairs again, Karkat met up with the other liberators right? Okay let me not be so lazy and go back and check again...

Excuse me for a second, I'm going backwards to review and post some older HS2 stuff for a bit:

No they left, then John came from his destroyed old house to his and Roxy's NOT-old house, then they transportalized downstairs to the secret lab buried "hella underground" not directly under the house, where Calliope is wearing... suspiciously the EXACT new outfit that Aradia is wearing, and gives her hints that she enjoys all sorts of alternate stories like watching Roxy be in a relationship with John here in Candy instead of with herself in Meat, and added fuel to our obvious theory suspicions that Meat Alive Calliope is the author-narrator shaping the (Candy) timeline with her wall drawings and Muse of Space powers, and that they are... standing in the location in their reality that corresponds to the exact center of the singularity / black hole they're trying to stabilize? I'd forgotten about that... and then Calliope told John that alt!Calliope and Aradia and such had broken out of the black hole's event horizon for their mission, while Calliope explained that (Candy)'s timeline is so WEIRD because they've been disconnected a little TOO much from the canon of reality, like a fanwork that strays a little too far from the source material, so they need to stabilize it somehow AND NEED VRISKA (to either steal some relevance back from Canon or to get swapped there with something else or, something else we might have theorized?) but I had plumb forgotten that they SPECIFICALLY say that for their plans to work they needed John to leave and do something:

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy!

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

Right, Vriska's constant focus on making herself one of the most relevant characters to Canon and her powerset actually making her perfect TO do that as a Thief of Light (relevance/importance) makes that a good plan. And I fully expected one possibility was that they somehow allow her to break through to the Canon Meat timeline and both (1) influence it some way, and (2) get to a place where she could eventually reunite with Terezi Pyrope finally instead of just having left her a parting message, which may or may not happen if Meat Terezi is going to focus possibly a bit more on her relationship with John(June) once somehow resurrected or such but would definitely be amazing to have them reunited when Terezi spent SO MUCH TIME looking for her that she wasn't even part of the (Candy) timeline of events? Enough re-theorizing let me keep re-reading-- And... oh right,

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I'm sure I was happy as hell to see that explicitly spelled out in canon for once instead of implied, because it may have been obvious to those of you who follow theoryblogs but one of the big reasons I'm glad to see these things made more explicit out in HS^2 is so even casual readers can pick up that these aspects always had these additional more important purposes that line up with all the events that happened in the past of the original comic.

But anyway. John's about to go on his bust-Vriska-out-of-prison quest:

And it's not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It's at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It's the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

And then,

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don't need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska JOHN: i'll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one's fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

And that's where we left off-- wasn't it their kids' team who got back into their house or something? Eh I'm done looking, now I at least know there was A NOISE that was playing through the monitors from the topside of their house above the teleporter that he's running to intercept.

Okay, past catch-up over. Back to present liveblogging. Looks like this isn't Rose and Kanaya like John expects, from the sound of it-- but the way John's running down a hallway makes it look like this is INSIDE OF THE LAB STILL, so the question is who is down here or CAME down here or...

(==>)

Oh, Sollux is helping Roxy and Calliope out with their project, playing on Roxy's pink retro consoles. That shouldn't actually be too shocking should it.

Wait, how is he playing video games if he's BLIND? Robo-eyes? It's gotta be robo-eyes.

(==>)

Stare

(==>)

Sandwich stare

(==>)

SOLLUX: eating a sandwich.

Brilliant. And yeah he lives here-- but he's actually LOOKING at stuff isn't he, with eyes of some sort? Even though he's still using the 0 quirk? Tell us what's up with that!

(==>)

John stop thinking this is a relationship between Sollux and Roxy, your divorcee/ex. Unless it is, which would be pretty cool honestly.

(==>)

SOLLUX: y0u w0rried im m0ving in 0n y0ur ex? JOHN: ...hmm. SOLLUX: ... JOHN: hm. hmm. hm. JOHN: hm? HMMMM. SOLLUX: what is g0ing 0n here. JOHN: sorry, i had an answer but then i started actually considering it. JOHN: am i jealous? JOHN: hmmm... SOLLUX: if i tell y0u straight up n0 we arent h00king up will y0u st0p? JOHN: ...maybe? SOLLUX: g0ddammit.

I'm really enjoying all this for some reason.

JOHN: are you still hanging out with that creepy alive girl? SOLLUX: SOLLUX: 0n a spiritual level. JOHN: cool! JOHN: is ... she also dating roxy? SOLLUX: what? SOLLUX: idk.

I'm pretty sure I get excited at the idea of literally ANY relationship potentially happening between all these characters I love.

(==>)

Oh no John is offloading his personal problems on him in longform conversation. He doesn't want that! XD

JOHN: and it only changed because i started talking to people again. SOLLUX: (i did this t0 myself why did i ask) JOHN: i guess in gamer terms it's the same as screwing yourself over by not checking every non playable character dialogue box. JOHN: any one of them could have the clues you need.

Feels kind of like we're doing the thing from that Steven Universe: Future episode where Steven is critically upset that important things happened in the lives of his friends offscreen somewhere he wasn't around to be aware of it, when realistically as a person you can't keep up with everything, especially not John who kept to himself in a slump for a decade as he puts it in some of the conversation I'm not fully requoting.

Okay Sollux dunks on John a bit, possibly deservedly... and to some extent, in a misogynist gamer phrasing typical to Sollux, John's lack of agency? Which I think would improve somewhat once the gender issues Roxy alluded to both upstairs and in the lab with him are resolved in part, because he can't be FULLY comfortable swept up in a relationship while he's still considering herself "he"...

SOLLUX: i have n0t been able t0 play this game the wh0le time because s0me0ne was talking 0ver the s0und. JOHN: oh! JOHN: sorry : (

Oh he's been using sound-only and audio assistance to play the game like a speedrunner almost instead of seeing it. That explains that.

(==>)

I don't quite understand the shape of that thing to the right of Sollux's head, like there's some sort of watermark over it WAIT THAT'S A DOOM SYMBOL WATERMARK TAKING UP MOST OF THE FRAME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE

SOLLUX: w0rds d0nt mean much. SOLLUX: 0nly acti0ns.

(This is a perfect sort of thing someone for someone on the Life/Doom spectrum to say, which would be MUCH MUCH HARDER for someone on the Light/Void spectrum to say or especially a Light player. Doom being about the consequences of one's actions in part and all.) Is he about to use some Mage of Doom powers visibly onscreen?

(==>)

Ohhh. So he was making a dramatic Doom Prophecy that will matter to John's choices in the future if he heeds the right lessons, while also hinting toward the nature of Doom itself as I covered. Got it. That's fun! Also it was a pink cat pillow behind his head, that's the thing I was having so much trouble seeing.

(==>)

SOLLUX: WAIT. JOHN: !

He's gonna ask him to pass him a soda from across the room or something.

(==>)

SOLLUX: change my game f0r me.

This is so cute.

(Be Vrissy.)

GODDAMNIT JAILBREAK AGAIN LOL

Vriska the elder has decided to take it upon herself to test if you measure up to the arduous task of being a Vriska. For your first test: find a way to bust out of this dump. What will you do?

Stop judging her on your stupid Vriska standards, Vriska! I hope the way this plays out eventually plays straight into the idea that this very-Vriska-like-but-not-quite-Vriska individual has her own unique strengths. I'm not sure I mentioned it earlier, but when I said that it's possible that Vrissy is a Mind player, I'm actually really excited to see the comic demonstrate that (regardless of whether or not Vrissy is or isn't completely genetically identical to Vriska) because not only would it be a good lesson for the original Vriska that Vrissy has her own value, it's also a great Classpect demonstration of how the difference in their characters and action styles amounts to a different effect on reality in the form of a Hero Title that is different...

...and in fact now that I think about it, even though it may have rubbed me just slightly wrong somewhere inside that Vrissy and Vriska could have different Hero Titles even if they WERE genetically identical, I'm actually gonna turn around and say I've decided I love that, because if Sburb gives the genetically identical Vrissy a different title and she unlocks a different powerset purely because of the unique combination of nature *AND* nurture that resulted in her, that would emphasize much more properly that Sburb isn't FORCING or pigeonholing you into a Hero Title that doesn't suit you, it really is reading into your future and soul to tell you THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY you PERSONALLY would find right to influence reality around you. That makes the lesson of its title assignment and the answer to the Ultimate Riddle that I've long discussed a STRONGER answer, not a weaker one.

And I'm encouraged by the very first thing Vrissy tries being something the original Vriska would NEVER have tried first, which Vriska over here probably is gonna be snide/discouraging about:

(Vrissy: Call for help.)

Have we SEEN their chumhandles before? I feel like we've seen Vrissy's before at least-- "adamantGriftress" is an awesome chumhandle for her, and I know for SURE I've already seen thespiansGlamor as Harry Anderson's. Who the fuck is glutinousGymnast, is that Yiffy's handle, and what does glutinous mean again?!?? (I had to google it just in case, it's New Tavros's handle. Glutinous is "like glue in texture; sticky.", often referring to sticky rice or baking dough. Ew. Stickiness sort of implies the opposite of Breath doesn't it...? And he's a gymnast?)

Now. Who the fuck is "recidivousGainsayer"? Vrissy didn't know Yiffy existed, so she wouldn't have her in her phone already unless they'd been internet friends without knowing each other personally, which would be... kinda sweet really. And Yiffy is certainly rebellious, but she seems more recalcitrant than recidivous, though I can't rule it out, especially since she's basically grown up at a boarding school; a quick google to see if we'd seen the chumhandle before also highlighted someone commenting that "RG" doesn't follow the ACGT DNA pattern, and even if you switch to RNA it just swaps the T with a U. Could be that this is a chumhandle of one of the characters we had been following over in the Bonus Comics or something.

You're pretty sure that would be an automatic fail on Vriska's test. But even if it wasn't, it isn't like you could message anyone; not anyone worth talking to anyway. There's no service in here, the only bars you've got are the ones on the windows.

Yeah, Vrissy at least knows Vriska well enough to know what she'd approve and disapprove of most broadly, unfortunately. I hope she comes to understand how Vriska should really not be her role model.

Oh not this again--

(Vrissy: Get key.)

Vriska drew this shitty key on the floor "juuuuuuuust in case you need a reminder of what you should be working towards ::::)."

Vriska, you asshole!

(Vrissy: Try the door.)

You fruitlessly pull on the bars. Vriska says it looks like it's still locked. Yeah???????? No shit, you tell her. You're just trying to see if you can get a guard's attention. She says ooooooooh that's a good idea.

If you don't keep complimenting her I'm going to be very cross with you, Vriska.

Hm, it'd be really fitting and interesting if Vrissy Mindgames her way out of this one by putting on a façade of distress and convincing the guard to barge in, maybe saying Vriska's escaped or such.

(Vrissy: Get a guard's attention.)

One of those guards Jane intentionally had all dress like Dave to taunt Jane about Dave's death or just make them harder for her and Rose to stomach fighting, right.

Maybe you should use some of your SICKNASTY BRAIN EXPLOITABLES on this jabroni.

How much practice does she have with her psychic powers? All Aranea was able to do with Cerulean psychics on humans was get a vague sense of the emotions of people around her toward her like she always does, and Vriska WAS able to put a human to sleep or wake them in another universe but only when trying so hard that her Light symbol flashed in her eye, emphasizing that a Cerulean troll who WASN'T using the powers of a God-Tier Thief of Light wouldn't necessarily be able to do the same to a human. Stealing wakefulness or stealing through wakefulness, wakefulness being a part of Agency and thus Light, where Void is associated with sleep and dreams, et cetera. (Vriska put people (like Jade D:) to sleep FAR FAR MORE OFTEN than she woke them up, and when she woke John that one time it could have been considered "stealing THROUGH Light" because it deprived him of an opportunity in his dreams to meet his Dad as his dreamself just to give Vriska the selfish opportunity to speak with him at the exact time she'd wanted to speak with him.)

Also, if Vrissy DOES refer to her Cerulean mind powers as "sicknasty BRAIN exploitables" that does put Mind more in mind than usual... and exploitables could just be flavor or it COULD be a reference to EXPLOIT, the theoretical Knight/Page action verb?! --Nah that's probably a stretch.

(Vrissy: Use your Sicknasty Brain Exploitables.)

You apply the focused totality of your psychic power into this douchebag's cranium. Frustratingly, it looks like this guy is resisting your psychic enthrallment so he can get at that donut. Other than occasionally making Tavros dance when he's being boring, you honestly don't do this much.

Holy shit, if she could make New Tavros DANCE, this actually means that Vrissy has more control over human minds than Vriska ever had?!? That or New Tavros is uniquely impressionable, which is ALSO a possibility; the original comic itself emphasized that the "impressiona8le" were more vulnerable to her abilities... those who had less control or agency over themselves.

Also, Vriska had only just met her first humans when her psychic talents were limited to making them sleep-- Vrissy grew up alongside other humans, and that might just be enough for her to understand their minds enough to do some occasional manipulation.

Your mom is always like, "You Need To Listen To Me Vriska Its Important To Keep These Skills Honed In Case Shit Gets Real", but shit so rarely if ever gets real so mom should get OFF your CASE!!!!!!!! Until now, you guess. Wow do you hate realizing your mom was right about shit. ANYWAYS, LAY OFF THE FUCKING DONUTS AND GET OVER HERE ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!

On the one hand, it's unsurprising that Vrissy didn't keep her talents honed for battle or anything, and wouldn't have invested nearly as much energy into exploiting people with psychic powers as Vriska's twisted childhood forced her to; but on the other hand, like I said, this is STILL a bit more direct influence over humans than Vriska ever had, even if it's not working right now!

(==>)

Hell yeah!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT SHE ACTUALLY OUTCLASSED ORIGINAL VRISKA IN CONTROLLING A HUMAN MIND.

Is Vriska going to feel jealous?! Holy shit?!?? Or is this old hat for her now and she's gonna say she could do it all along, or a retcon along those lines or-- gosh just PLEASE I WANNA SEE VRISKA JEALOUS AS FUCK OF VRISSY'S PSYCHIC TALENTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE ORIGINAL VRISKA GO "WHOA HOW DID YOU DO THAT"

(Vriskas: Exit the cell.)

Damn that felt good. After locking up the guard you turn to Vriska and ask her what next. Vriska says that now it's time to fuck some shit up. You like the sound of that. You ask her if there's any specific shit or place she wants to go fuck up. She says you'll just walk around until you land somewhere cool. You both laugh. You ask her what her real plan is. She keeps laughing as she walks away.

That's definitely her real plan. But anyway-- UGH, missed opportunity here. I guess we're just supposed to take it as a given that if original Vriska had had enough time, or grown up more, she could do the same thing to impressionable-enough humans as she did to trolls too, or the like.

(==>)

ALARMS BLARING, GUARDS RUNNING-- yeah they didn't cause this, this is some other assault on the Jail, right?

Okay, that's a lot of goons. You suggest to Vriska that you should go the other direction. Vriska says nah this is definitely where we wanna be. She says between the two of you, you've probably got enough luck to take this whole place off the map if you really wanted. You ask her what the fuck she means by that. She says you know like with your Thief of Light powers. You tell her you don't have anything like that. She says huh, weird!

VRISKA WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE WEIRD, VRISSY DIDN'T PLAY THE GAME OR GO GOD-TIER, YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD LUCK-STEALING POWERS UNTIL YOU PLAYED THE GAME!!!

Wait, let's back up a sec.

Vriska is smart enough to know that you CAN tap into your Hero Title powers even if you're not someone who's hit God-Tier. As a gleaner of deep lore about the game, Vriska ALSO would put together that the powers you get in the game are inherent to you even before you PLAY the game if you're skilled enough or high up on your echeladder enough to access them, so even if she never Stole Light directly before she played Sgrub, she technically COULD have. Maybe she figures Vrissy, as a coincidental genetically identical alt-version of her, should have access to the same powers just by virtue of having the same genes and training from her Seer of Light Mom knowing she'd have that potential in her genetically, OR, hear me out--

Vriska has already let us know that she's PLANNING ON STARTING A NEW GAME SESSION which we all figure will include Vrissy and the other kids as the players, and Vriska probably figures those kids will be the players too!

So, and I know this is some 3D-chess assumption-maneuvering here and I might be way off base, just taking so much from this single exchange...

...My guess is that Vriska thinks Vrissy ought to ALREADY HAVE inherent Thief of Light powers deep inside her and untapped, because she thinks Vrissy is going to be a PLAYER and thus ALWAYS WOULD gain her powers! Powers which she, of course, would ASSUME would match hers given their genetic similarity-- she would ASSUME Vrissy would also be a Thief of Light.

Except that none of the way Vrissy has actually behaved has resembled a Thief of Light much at all, and Hero Titles are inherent to your PERSONALITY and its method of action of influencing reality around you... and we already have background hinting that matches MUCH closer to her character and her behavior/actions in dialogue with others that she may be a Mind player.

Vriska didn't scold Vrissy for not having tried hard enough to develop the Thief of Light abilities she ASSUMED were inherent to Vrissy. She instead seems confused that she's never manifested any, and said "huh, weird!". Despite the knots in her psychology, both Vriska's smarts and her hero title are likely hinting to her that there might be some flaw in her assumptions here-- something that's keeping this from being a sarcastic scolding and instead telling her something isn't right about the knowledge she thought she had at hand.

(==>)

Vriska says that's perfectly fine as she always prefers a challenge. Vriska Serket, the daring Thief of Light and her imitation kid Vriska sidekick against countless foes. Marquise Spinneret Mindfang leading her Neophyte Bluehair, it's a tale for th- w8 w8 hold the fuck up. You ask her what the fuck does she mean "imitation.

Of course, just because Vriska isn't going to be an asshole in that PARTICULAR direction was never any assurance that Vriska wasn't going to be an asshole. She still views (Vrissy) as the less important version of the original her, and she's still going to frame everything in that light because of course she would, it's still in her nature and she still hasn't fully learned her lesson yet.

(==>)

I'm at the image limit so I'm gonna hold off on posting Vriska's hilariously condescending greasy expression and Vrissy squinting hilariously absolutely having fucking none of it:

Vriska says to not let it get to you, but she's pretty much figured out that this whoooooooole timeline is phony. You know, inauthentic. Fake. Bogus even. She says it's somehow the off brand equivalent of a universe and she really hopes you kept the receipt. You assure her that both you and this timeline are in fact, real as shit. She doesn't seem convinced. She says it's mostly from the little things she's noticed. You ask like what, she's only been on this planet for like a day and a half. She gestures vaguely and tells you to give her a boost so she can reach that ventilation shaft.

Yeah, the way this version of reality isn't as tethered to Canon means Vriska isn't going to take it seriously-- she shares Dirk's view of the (Candy) timeline in that regard, really. And they BOTH are going to receive their comeuppance and learn their lesson.

Phew-- that image limit was a good sign, I was already hitting the limits of my energy for the day, that was hours of liveblogging and typing. I guess we'll leave off here until another day! As I said at the outset, I'm still going to be pacing myself and only doing liveblogging every few days like I mentioned, but that doesn't mean I'm not VERY MUCH enjoying this and very looking forward to where it's going. If I weren't liveblogging, I'd get there a lot faster, I assure you, but then you wouldn't get to see me go off on random Classpect tangents about stuff you already guessed! :D

See you in a few days!

[nefariousfool]

brat review under the cut bc no one on here gaf

It agonizes me to do so, but I'm gonna structure this in comparison to Taylor Swift's new album, not because we must "pit two bad bitches against each other" (taylor is not a bad bitch) or that everything must be about that wretched blonde woman but because their careers actually mirror each other quite well in some aspects that show both charli's weak spots on this album that follow what seems to be the trend for millenial pop artists, but also her strengths. also I never got to bitch about TDPS as much as I wanted to

Speaking of strengths, I'll start with those. Compliment sandwich to make the rest go down easy. She makes what is undeniably a fun album. Much easier to digest and more cohesive than CRASH, ultimately a wonderful example of her command over visual advertising matching auditory experience. I can easily imagine the best way to experience Sypathy is a Knife, Everything is Romantic or 365 is best heard loud as all hell in a club you don't remember arriving at and won't return to again for a few months for what it does to your body. As promised its a return to her public "prime" but cooler, sexier, a little wiser.

So I is maybe the only Sophie tribute that doesn't feel theatrical or subtle or in very poor taste. Rather than sheer worship over a woman who now is unable to live in the minds of many as a complete human being, charli admits she took her for granted. She doesn't mythologize her death but rather opens up that the wound of losing a friend you wish you spent more time with is still there. it might scar over, but the pain remains.

Now to where the comparison begins. Both artist imo had their best year the year of lockdown. The forced introspection made their work calmer, better. Taylor's was definitely in some aspect her trying to find herself after her absolute flop of a comeback album while also attempting to legtimize herself as an artist to the more critical pop crowd. Playing with narratives that don't involve her personal life was, while a bare minimum mark of a decent artist, something people weren't sure she was capable of anymore. It was a calculated move that birthed two albums that live as her best in her discography. Charli was, as far as I can tell, less calculated and far more authentic but netted the same results. The Cool Girl version of Taylor, she too achieved success in the late 00s as a teen, but rather than doing all American sweetheart gigs about how precious and lovestruck she is, she was 14 performing her songs at illegal raves. Her rising career was based off a very cool, distant persona. For this reason, she previously was not nearly as personal in her songs but took the lockdown time to open up about her feelings as well as her relationship with her long term partner at the time. They were songs that spoke personally to her audience, allowing them intimacy at a time when everyone was very vulnerable. Cringe exposing my emotions but party4u still brings tears to my eyes. It seems, in the latest albums of these two, they have "come home" to what is comfortable for them. You do see slivers of incredibly personal moments slip through, especially in Rewind and I Think About it All the Time (and of course So I) but overall rather than fond nostalgia for her roots this album gives the vibe of someone desperately trying to keep on a mask that used to protect her but doesn't anymore. Taylor, too, has slipped into her old habits of overexposing her personal life in uninteresting, spoken word lyrics that I hear in Brat as well. The lyricism feels lazy, attempting to act nonchalant and casual while abandoning a rhyming scheme completely for many of the songs. Some fans delight in this, but I know both of these women can do better.

Maybe this is all best exemplified in a song that wears the identity of the album the best, Mean girls. This mindset is ever present in the album, but this track is embarrassingly on the nose. Slapdash and pandering, it shows Charli has acquired a specific audience other than poppers addicts and people who wish they could have worked at an American apparel in 2010, and that audience is the fleabag type. A loser. You're showing your love to the losers and the haters. Maybe it's because im in this album and I don't like it, but it shows how much she too has attached herself to the persona of the late 20s shit head woman who is fun at parties if you're also drunk, but in the daylight is liked by no one who really gets to know her. the self victimizing "just being honest" woman with the soul of a wet rat, an intensely online woman, sex and the city's Carrie for Zelennials. miserable. This was where it was going to end up, wasn't it? This is the modern Cool Girl, after all. This is what she wants us to believe she is. She's so Julia. This is so Charli, I guess. It evokes pity in me.

I don't have much a compliment to end this with actually. Overall I do really enjoy it on a sound level, I'm likely to listen to it on repeat for a while yadda yadda. Whatever I was really critical of Crash upon release which I softened my opinion of as time passed but idk, millenial women cannot stop being messy and weird about it and it's embarrassing.

[golbrocklovely]

okay since a bunch of you asked, here is my review of kris' podcast with snc ! :)

first off, i highly recommend you go watch it. i'll link it right here. it was seriously so fun to watch and very silly. but it had some really good points in it too.

i'll give some overall thoughts and then i'll point out random things that i liked.

so i think the flow of their conversation thru out the podcast was really fun, even if they were hung over from the night before. kris is really good at interviewing ppl, or at least snc. so i'm interested to see her do other podcasts in the future.

the beer pong element was a fun way to break up the podcast without getting it too far off topic.

this podcast also really made me love kris. i've watched her from time to time, never been a huge fan or anything. just someone that i could occasionally throw on in the background or whatever. but her banter with snc… top notch. i want to be friends with her just so we could sass snc together.

they were all so giggly together and it was just so cute to see. 10/10 watch this podcast again.

also…. was it just me or was she flirting with colby??? i KNOW they are just friends. i'm not actually shipping them…. but if they ever got together i wouldn't be mad. just saying.

okay, here are some random things that i liked that happened during the podcast:

kris saying colby should do voice acting: YES. she is just like me forreal. especially with the mics she was using, my god his voice is hot.

the reoccurring joke that colby is conceited was kinda fun, until i started thinking of ppl taking it too seriously. that man already gets enough shit, yall better STOP before it gets bad lol

kris' hair looks so nice. i love that color on her. it really warms up her face.

when kris made the joke of "are you guys gonna quit now since you hit 10 mil", and colby said "he (sam) gets to decide that, not me." and then followed it up by explaining their dynamic as "he's the leader and i'm lazy as hell, i don't do anything." this man was feeling SPICY that day lol i love sassy colby it's kinda my favorite

"i'm the girlfriend." - colby brock

sam being the stern one and colby being the go with the flow one makes perfect fucking sense. have i not said this before a 1000 times lol

sam not respecting astrology ppl but then admitting that it's kinda true…. something is not clicking there, cheif

i said this in an ask but them not being able to see but refusing to get glasses; yall are too rich to be BLIND

what is with snc getting houses or staying in places with no ac??? that could NEVER be me omg

so snc ended up mentioning the conjuring house and that what happened there is gonna change lives and might get on national news……. i'll try to say this in a positive way: i LOVE that snc love to shoot for the stars when it comes to their content. and them believing in their own content, being passionate about it, is really nice to see. but like… bffr.

kris having a snapchat group with snc, that's adorable.

i highly recommend watching the part from 20:46 - 21:23. i want this shit to be permanently on repeat in my mind forever. everything about it was a masterpiece. - kris whooping snc's ass - colby complaining the table being too long - kris saying "i'm throwing the same shots as you boi, i'm throwing the same shots as you baby." - the look colby gives her when she says boi (😀), and then the look when she says baby (😏) - kris then saying to sam when he misses a shot "is your mom proud of you?" and then colby's face???? I LOVED EVERY MOMENT

colby saying he can't read comments bc they just make him feel bad breaks my heart. that sometimes he has to refuse to read them just bc they get to him too much. i need everyone to rewatch that clip back next time they want to say something about his appearance that isn't extremely nice. yall fucking suck.

snc strategizing pics on insta is so true. just watch jc's livestream when they hit 10 mil. it took them 20 minutes to post about it lol

re-rack, reconfigure, no no. the real word you're looking for is rearrange. that's what we used to call it.

i love snc with my entire heart, but sometimes it becomes very apparent that they only got a high school education. what do you mean you don't know what the word gaudy means???? ostentatious??? and then colby not knowing what the bible belt is???? cmon now lmao

colby talking about dating/his love life just a bit… kris really is trying to get on my good side sksksks

colby's raya profile saying he's a wwe wrestler, and then his caption being "6'0 on a good day with the right shoes"…. how does he get laid as often as he does???? i can't with him anymore

him also admitting to ghosting and getting bored talking to ppl. imagine being ghosted by colby. i would be embarrassed lol

it was interesting to hear their opinions on 25x25 now. i personally loved that content so to hear them say it wasn't as authentic as the haunted stuff is a bit confusing. i don't know if i would agree with it, but i like hearing what they have to say about it.

sam saying back to kris "if you make this shot, i think ppl will love you… finally." and then saying "make your mom proud"………… why do i find this hot something is wrong with me lol

if you're wondering if i could ever take snc in a fight, the answer is YES. i would absolutely murder them sksksks

snc listening to country music???? what has this world come to?? i mean i'm happy to hear they like country but it's just so surprising

colby saying his favorite movie is 'life of pi' but not understanding it and kris saying "you're so cute." i love that moment.

colby needs to make more music STAT

kris saying she's sleeping with socks on and colby not liking that: sir, you enthusiastically told xplrclub that you watch cist popping videos i don't CARE what you have to say.

colby also not wanting to saying anything to get canceled is very accurate

the little handshake they all did at the end of beer pong was adorable.

colby being good at moving his tongue fast………. i'm not even gonna say anything lmao

also his inability to do the cowabunga with his left hand. i fucking cried laughing at that.

[bungouchronicles]

are you a minor?

who are your bsd kinnies?

when did you get into tumblr?

what's your fave bsd take?

what's one bsd thing (character/opinion/etc) that u think should be talked about more?

fave animal?

how do u make friends (i need help ����).

do u play an instrument

share thoughts/reviews abt bsd

jus answer the ones ur comfy answering 💖

Hiii!!

Woah this is my first ask, thank you <3 Let's see!

1. I'm not comfortable with sharing my age on the internet so I won't, sorry.

2. Atsushi is my highest kin but I also kin Ranpo and Dazai (don't ask how/j)

I also happen to get Nikolai on a lot of "what character are you?" quizzes and I always relate to him on those "analysing kinnies" things but I refuse to admit that to myself yet 😋

3. I don't remember tbh, I started out on another account but I'm too lazy to look up how old that account is. I think I first joined Tumblr like 2-3 years ago?

4. Ahh I don't know! I have a lot of takes but I can't seem to remember any of them right now haha. I'll get back to this someday.

5. Okay I'll have to make a seperate post about this someday but probably how soukoku is (or at least was) what the other one wished they could be. I love their parallels about how they view humanity which I think already is pretty talked about but yk, you can always talk more about it!

I also think we as a fandom should talk more about Yosano in general, she's very dear to me <3

Oh and Bram! I wanna know more about him and his daughter. He's so silly, how could we not talk about him??

Also I adore the religious symbolism in bsd, we should all talk more about that!

I also think we should talk more about Oda outside of of the impact he had on Dazai. I adore Oda and Dazais story but Oda is really cool regardless of that. I almost never see anyone mention his own story and his motives? He's so cool!!

6. Car :3

7. I just kinda say things and hope someone likes me and that has worked out so far.

No but like, when it comes to making friends irl the best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with like-minded people (like join a group with a shared interest or something) and don't be afraid to be bold. I can assure you, most people want friends and will only be relieved if you offer them your friendship yourself. I recently made a friend when we were having a conversation and she complained about how she didn't have many friends and I just said "hey, we can be friends!" And that was that. She happily agreed and we have been friends ever since. 😊 Obviously this just works if the people you talk too are good people but you shouldn't bother trying to make friends with people that aren't. Hope this helps <3

8. I sing and play some piano, music is my everything though so I'm hoping to both get better at piano and maybe pick up guitar again

9. I'm so normal about this show. Uhm...let's see:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thoroughly enjoyed. Very well written and has been able to keep me invested for far too long now. The fixation never goes away. Help me, Asagiri is keeping me hostage in this fandom!

This was fun, feel free to send my any other asks in the future <3

[thelionshymnal]

end of year wrap up

it's that time of the year where i am going to say nice things about myself or ELSE. only i don't want to talk right now, so i'm going do this differently than usual because i make the rules. this is going behind a cut cause it's gonna be hella long and grossly self-indulgent lmao.

so here's the year in review, my friends. so far in 2022 i have posted 222,969 words. 36 fanfics across 4 fandoms.

two of those fandoms are new, so you know i'm over here gnashing my teeth about all my WIPs, but Y'KNOW WHAT. falling in love with something is a beautiful thing and i enjoyed the hell out of those brief, dizzying hyperfixations haha.

now then:

tie a ribbon 'round your fractured heart - FFVII - cloud/reno - teen All the furniture is still boxed up. Nothing has been added to the apartment. It pisses Cloud off, that Reno’s squandering this place. He throws the carpet onto the floor of the living room and asks, “Too fucking lazy or too stupid to put this shit together?”

“Too fucking busy, you piss stain,” Reno snarks back.

The asshole is smoking out the kitchen window, the smoke detector casing dangling down from the ceiling, all mangled wires and ill intentions. The coffee maker is brewing another pot. Reno looks pale and tired and irritated.

Cloud wants to drown him in his empty sink.

“What,” he asks, low and slow. “You looking for new victims? Rufus tired of playing shiny new hero already?”

Reno rolls his eyes. Hops off the counter and scrounges in a coffee canister. Comes up with more gil than last time. He flings it across the kitchen so that it litters the floor, and then he clambers back onto his counter and leans a shoulder out the open window, exhaling smoke. “Fuck off, dick breath,” he mutters, not so quiet Cloud can’t hear. “We’re fucking vigilantes, heroes are lame.”

beast of burden - genshin - ganyu character study - teen “I find her a necessary burden,” Ningguang interrupts, the low rasp of her voice very calm, almost serene. It is when she sounds the most dangerous, Ganyu thinks. “Captain Beidou is as integral a cog in the mechanism of our city, dear Ganyu, as you or myself. Where we must be beacons of light, of law and order, so too must there be those who can wade through the grime, set the snare in the demon’s den so that I might better hunt those who would harm us.”

Ganyu walks at Ningguang’s side.

One step, and then another.

She does not say: I am not your junior to be so lectured. She does not say: I have seen this ploy a hundred times over, and while it works I dislike it. I dislike the cunning cruelty, the subterfuge, but I understand the martial necessity of such tactics. She does not say: I hate Captain Beidou of the Crux, and damn your need for her!

Ganyu has walked beside countless Tianquans.

“Yes,” she says. “Of course, Ningguang. You’re right.”

you're too old to be this shy - genshin - beidou/ganyu - gen She had thought to thank Shenhe for her service.

Thought also to word it in such a way that she could extend her gratitude for protecting Beidou, when Ganyu had feared her own powers not enough to shield, without ever quite saying so. The urge feels foolish now. Small and afraid, weak and wanting. Better for Ganyu to have said it boldly, bravely: You protected more than you know. My heart is whole thanks to you. Thank you, thank you.

She could have said it, she realizes.

Shenhe would not have been bothered by it in the least.

keepsakes and promises, ch2 - genshin - beidou/ganyu - explicit “Please don’t make me keep a stash of personalised porn,” Ganyu whines. “Someone will find it in five centuries and declare it the historical find of the season and books will be written about it!”

“That could be fun. Maybe they’ll make a play about us! Then you could go watch us fall in love all over again.”

Ganyu is collapsed atop her, a weight that’s comforting for all it’s sticky and overheated. The room seems quiet without sex noises, and the floor is much harder beneath Beidou’s spine than it had been five minutes ago. But the thought of Ganyu sitting in an audience three, four, seven centuries from now, hiding a mortified blush behind her hands as she watches their love unfold on a stage, makes her smile.

i will lay own my heart - genshin - eula/amber - teen Amber’s face falls. She’s starting to shiver beneath her sodden layers. “Aw, did I gross you out, Eula? But I turned away in time!”

“Hush,” Eula says. “Despite the upbringing, I am no delusional noble woman determined to pretend normal bodily functions do not exist. Amber, you did not gross me out. Now, hurry and take off your clothes.”

It takes a second for the words to bounce back at her, and when they do Eula’s whole existence pauses, all functionality ceasing. Amber stares up at her with both brows raised high in surprise, but she doesn’t seem bothered. In fact, amusement is sparking in her eyes, twitching at the corners of her tempting mouth. “Eu-la,” she says. “Maybe a few more kisses first.”

“You are a scoundrel,” Eula declares, jolting back into her body, trying to smother her racing heart. She turns, goes to her wardrobe. Fumbles for any clothing that may suit Amber.

“Says the woman who told me to get naked.”

“Amber!”

starstruck - genshin - beidou/ganyu - teen Becoming a secretary isn’t at all what she’d ever imagined doing with her life, and getting the job had been more accidental than anything else, an offer she’d decided not to refuse. But she likes it. Likes the work, gruelling though it is, with a million different things to balance and people to navigate. Beidou likes solving problems; likes being relied on.

Hell, for as long as she can remember wanting a thing, Beidou has always wanted to be a hero to Liyue, just like Captain Ganyu is—simply by doing the work that needs doing.

“Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay?” Ganyu asks, looking earnest and hopeful.

With a task to focus on, the captain loses her flush. She still looks far too pretty, but also a lot more like the calm, collected, capable captain that Beidou has spied at a distance. Beidou’s heart skips a beat having all that prized attention on her. She licks her lips; shifts her weight from side to side, feet aching and brain circling and shit fuck damn, she sure hopes this isn’t actually a fever dream brought on by too much work.

“Well,” Beidou says. “I mean. Maybe you could buy me a drink.”

i want love to roll me over slowly - genshin - ganyu/beidou - explicit She came to terms with the breaking of her vow in quiet moments, looking out the window at the harbor, the way the waves churned up white foam when a storm blew through, electricity on the horizon. She accepted it when she bought a small collection of grape wine, the bulbous jars cradled in her palms until she secreted them away in a cupboard back home, along with some of Beidou’s favorite snacks and an extra canister of the tea she seemed to prefer. It was, perhaps, a little early to be doing such things, and in darker moments, when Ganyu was frayed along the edges in a way that made her feel sick, weary, utterly foolish, she worried if maybe she’d lost her chance—that the wind would never bring Beidou back to her, or that Beidou would finally reach the end of her persistence and patience, look elsewhere, leave Ganyu alone forever.

Sometimes, Ganyu stole sips of sweet wine and teased herself with too light touches, luxuriant strokes; drove her own mind to stillness with the ache of denial whenever the emptiness of her own bed gnawed at her.

Sometimes, Ganyu simply drank until she fell to unconsciousness.

The next day she would always replenish her stash, a little queasy and guilty with the shame of overindulgence, heartsore and anxious and frantic mind filling up with all the things she would do to Beidou if only given one more chance, until finally came the day The Alcor was sighted sailing into Guyun Stone Forest, half the Crux fleet straggling along like a school of fish to a shark.

as if it pictured grief - genshin - miko/ei - mature Seven more years pass, and in the interim Miko is lonely enough to join her own war: that of transforming Narukami Shrine into the grandest, holiest, and most lucrative of tourist attractions in all of Teyvat. It keeps her distracted most of the time, but the loneliness fails to abate. When she lost Saiguu, lost Chiyo, lost Sasayuri—when they all lost Makoto and innocence and the beautiful way things once were, Miko at least didn’t lose herself.

She thought at first it was because she was kitsune, her morals always a little left of center to most. Then she thought it was because she was strong, strong enough to stand against the tide of loss.

Now, she realizes it’s because she still had Ei.

nothing beautiful comes (without a fight) - genshin - shenhe/ganyu - explicit After her heat passes unfulfilled, what always lingers longest is the raw ache of her throat from screaming her agony, her betrayal.

She is screaming now, a battle roar of hungry bloodshed as she grapples with Ganyu, twists, kicks, evades. Evades—it seems an impossible thing, that Shenhe would be the one retreating. And yet Ganyu is always there a moment later, crowding her, catching her, touching her. She does not scream back. She does not threaten. She is quiet and quick and focused, relentless with her stern expression, those glittering eyes like a violet sky, pink on the horizon. Each blow is turned back, every tackle overturned; Shenhe throws herself again and again at this small, pretty thing, so delicate looking as to seem a doll.

But her alpha does not break.

Shenhe feels as if she is the toy, instead.

There are tears in her eyes, she realizes, as frustration chokes her, clouds her vision with brightness. The dark recedes. Her limbs grow clumsy, full of an ache and a want and weakness that she’s never quite felt like this. Ganyu wears her down; the rage, which Shenhe once thought bottomless, is emptying out.

i won't be falling on my knees to beg you - ofmd - ed/stede - explicit Within moments they are cheek to cheek, their feet shuffling back and forth between each other. Stede keeps humming even though he isn’t very good at it. Ed sighs; relaxes for what feels like the first time in his life. “I’ve missed you,” he admits in the exact same tone he’d told Stede he probably hates him.

“And I-”

“No, no, don’t stop the music,” Ed demands.

“-ah, very well,” Stede allows, and begins humming again. A little softer, a little sadder. It suits them better, Ed thinks, and feels his heart swell up, tender to the touch. He closes his eyes and loses himself in the warmth of Stede’s embrace. He says,

“There is nothing I fear more than you, Stede Bonnet.”

and there will be better days - ofmd - ed/stede - explicit Stede disappears below to get ready. He’s nervous; his hands jump from sword to shoe to errant curl, and he wishes very dearly he had a proper mirror to examine his teeth in for stray food, rather than a dented serving tray. But needs must, and Stede goes about girding himself for war with a single minded dedication that is all about how much he can’t fail here - he cannot sit on the side of his bed and bury his face in his shaking hands, weeping. He cannot stumble, he cannot fall, he cannot lose his nerve. How often has he wanted a thing only to be shot down, denied, spurned his advance?

So many, too many.

Until Edward, who had looked at him and laughed with delight, with wonder. Had said, “I like it,” and meant I like you. How terrifying it is, Stede thinks. The story books never really spell it out, do they? Or maybe Stede was so enamored of escape and glory he never paid attention to their warnings. But now he knows. Now he feels it. How fearful and uncertain a thing it is, to be so close to all you long for, your very heart’s desire, and to know that it is only you and you alone that may wreck it at the last.

A deep breath in; a deep breath out.

Stede slaps his palms against his cheeks until they are stinging. “Go and get your man,” he scolds himself.

i'll walk through walls into your heart - ofmd - ed/stede - teen Ed is tired of running, but he’s never had to figure out how to be brave about love before, not like this.

Slowly, the sun finishes sinking. Stede takes a dinghy from his stolen ship and rows alone to the sandy shore. Ed watches him through the window of the Revenge, cold glass and hot breath, ache in his too tight ribs. When he’s ashore, Stede stands alone against the darkness, lifts a lantern high and slides open the shutter, letting light spill out like a beacon.

Come back to me, Stede says.

Edward huffs. Pulls his feet up against the hard wooden bench. Folds his arms over his bent knees and stays there until morning, watching how that light blots out the stars. A warning; a beckons. Ed wants and Ed fears and in the end Ed can’t move at all, neither backwards nor forwards. Not yet. Not yet.

between your heart and mine - ofmd - ed/stede - explicit “It was already ruined. We seriously need to get you better clothes, man. I quite liked all the shiny stuff. And- yeah, well. Why use my own? I like your hands better than mine,” Ed says, and he’s thinking about how happy he is right now, how warm and good the whole morning has been. He’s thinking about the way Stede has been calling him my treasure and darling and love, and even more than that he’s thinking of the way Stede’s eyes had gone all dark and hungry when Ed told him he wanted a treasure hunt this last time, and-

Ed wants, and for once it’s not complicated at all.

“Really?” Stede is saying, all surprised. He flexes his hands out in front of him. A lance of sunlight catches across his knuckles. “You do? But- But they’re not elegant and thin like yours, dearest Ed. They’re not nearly so competent, either. Why, I’ve always thought they were a decent sort, but not much more than that.”

“I like them,” Ed says again.

“Mm, well. I’m glad to hear that. But ah, you’ve still got a bit of- a bit of dough, I think. There at the corner of your mouth.”

Ed hums. Smiles some more. “Yeah.”

well now, i did this chronologically starting from the beginning of the year, and i meant to force myself to get through every fic because tbh, i don't remember half of what i wrote by this point. but fuuuck this took a long time for exactly that reason haha.

glad i did it though (:

[deesmenagerie]

The 2023 'Year in Review' trends hit differently when you lived two distinct lives this year.

I usually avoid Instagram trends-- not because I have anything against them, but because I'm usually too lazy to pull together something worth putting online in a timely manner. But this year, I decided that it would be worth doing. So I took some time to go through all of my photos for 2023, and wow.

It started off innocent enough-- pictures of Lilly being ostensibly cute, and nature pictures that, at best, would give you a vague impression of what season it is in New England. But not too far into scrolling I came across photos of Chris and me at Frozen Fenway with Sam and Peter, and I was shook.

I SWEAR we went to Frozen Fenway with Sam and Peter like, a couple of years ago. NOT within this calendar year!!! It has taken me some time to reconcile the fact that yes, January 2023 feels like it was eons ago, and no, my grasp on time is... tenuous at best. And that's because 2023 has to be divided into two distinct eras-- before injury and after injury.

Before my injury, I skiied twice, visited Amherst, visited Montreal, got my wisdom teeth removed, saw a superbloom at Joshua Tree, saw a comedy show and a live podcast show, planned and executed a bachelorette party and bridal shower, visited my brother down in Florida, attended two weddings (and was a MOH at one), and had one of my artworks displayed at a local gallery in Cambridge.

Whew!

From January to July, I had a busy, exciting year, and August through December promised more of the same, with another wedding, an October visit from Shane, and another two trips booked.

Then, on August 3rd, I tore my MCL and fractured my tibia, and the entire trajectory of my life shifted. I stopped working and went on long-term disability, got surgery, and spent the remainder of the year focused on one singular goal-- recovery.

My injury was devastating. I won't sugar coat it. I said goodbye to my mobility and independence, only to fight tooth and nail to get them back. I experienced more physical pain than I ever have, and I also knocked on death's door for the first time in my life. It was a dark time, and it took a lot out of me, and I'm still on the road to recovery.

But despite this disruption, life went on, and the second half of 2023 was filled with lots of rehab walks, local adventures, time with friends, and plenty of time focusing on my extensive personal projects. All things considered, handling this injury was not the most difficult thing I've ever done (looking at you, grad school).

Heading into 2024, I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes. In all of the photos before my injury, I see myself, but I no longer recognize myself in her. I am someone new, someone different, someone who's evolved from the destruction of my old life.

2023 had hands, but I'm a tough bitch, and she didn't break me. This year was one of major change and major growth. I learned a lot of lessons, and I'm gonna share them here.

Do your best to stay present. Fixating on the future is sure to give you anxiety, make you frustrated about where you are now, and bring a sense of dissatisfaction to your life. Stagnating in the past is sure to depress you, and make you yearn for how things used to be. But in the present, there are no problems, only situations to handle, or experiences to have. Staying in the present got me through the early days of my injury, when my mobility was completely gone. Thanks, Eckhart Tolle :)

Live every moment to its fullest. You never know when life is going to throw you a curveball (or a broken leg). Soak deeply in the good experiences, be patient with the difficult ones, and enjoy the transit time between experiences. It's all life, and you only have one of them. Live it!

Motion is lotion. It takes an alarmingly short period of time to lose your strength and range of motion, and an exhaustingly long period of time and concerted effort to get it back. Find a way to incorporate movement in your life every day. It's worth it.

Your perspective makes your reality. One of the most important things you can do to make your life better is maintain a positive perspective. Your perspective makes your reality. If you're always looking for problems, there will be plenty to find. If you see the worst in people, they'll show you their claws. But if you stay positive, look on the bright side, and stay relentlessly optimistic, life WILL be easier.

Trust your gut. You've made your decisions for a reason. Don't let others convince you out of doing what's best for you. ESPECIALLY when it comes to your health.

Never underestimate the power of a good walkie. Not only is it so good for your body, but it's so good for your brain, too. I don't need to explain this one. Go for a walk!!!

Anyways. Thanks for the memories 2023, but I'm ready to move on. Let's see what 2024 has in store!

[holdooutforahero]

Ginny & Georgia recap - season 1

Spoilers for season 1 of Ginny & Georgia!!

This show is so fascinating to me. It's playing off several different tropes and themes of TMS (teenager murder shows), parent/teen dramas (does this need an acronym lol?), YA as a genre (whoops that's an acronym), etc. Everything is put into a blender and then WHIZZ out comes Ginny & Georgia!

I have a thought... you know how one of the rules of the romance genre is the happy ending? I wonder if one of the rules of TV more broadly is a neat ending. Where there are maybe 1-2 loose ends but for the most part everything gets buttoned up. Of course, neat endings are prevalent in a lot of other mediums, too. And with G&G, the neatness of the ending is only really related to Georgia not going to jail for financial fraud and murder. Who knows what is going to happen to the kids!

Anyways.

I was hoping for more murder, and we got one more body, so that's fun. I was kinda hoping that Carolyn would get more maligned. Losing the mayor's election... eh. That wasn't enough for me! But I appreciated the extra depth with the scene at home where we saw her husband.

I've been thinking more about the appeal of TMS and I think part of the no responsibility bit involves financial freedom, which means either 1) the characters start off rich, 2) the characters do crime to get rich, or 3) the characters are around people with some semblance of stability and they can do crime/do drugs/be fuck-ups and still eat and all that. In G&G, it's mostly 2 - do crime to get rich. And WOAH there is so much crime. I was honestly shocked by Georgia stealing from the city. That's so risky -- and frankly implausible, unless your city is truly incompetent and not reviewing the financial books regularly?? I enjoy the way the show mixes different types of crime. It makes you constantly question your sympathies for Georgia!

There's more to say... I'll just fire things off now:

Austin is probably a psychopath... hate to say it as he's just a little kid, but good god there are red flags everywhere with that one

The voiceovers give strong Veronica Mars vibes, which I appreciate

Ginny is a bitch but I feel bad for her, her friends are forgiving but even she pushed them too far. Running off with your brother is questionable.

Side note, I am reading a novel right now where the lead says you shouldn't use gendered insults b/c they're lazy... I dunno.

The proposal scene between the Mayor and Georgia was fantastic, really took me by surprise! Also, I loved when Zion was looking into this camera during the rally/community fair scene and realized what he was looking at. Maybe too on the nose, but if you're going to be that sincere about something, might as well follow through!

Poor Hunter. He was absolutely a great boyfriend.

Marcus is borderline creepy, like the love interest whose name I forget in... that movie with Winonna Ryder where the school blows up? It was turned into a musical? I'm not going to google. Also, I appreciate the efforts to make Marcus look like a 15 year old where the actor is in their mid-twenties. They did a good job, though I'd still peg him for late teens.

What's the name for a woman who consistently murders her husbands for money? I swear there's a distinct name for it but I cannot remember if for the life of me.

MANG is fun. Abby breaks my heart! Maxine is a delightful mess. Norah avoiding her friends b/c her mom betrayed her to hurt Ginny's family/the mayor was interesting.

This show is such a soap opera!

[dragpinkman]

opinion on blended movie . i have seen this movie way too many times against my will

because of this ask i started watching it for the first time so you're getting a fresh review 👍 im just going to add to this as i watch.

⚠️ LONG POST (sorry)

first 5 min its eh not too bad, honestly i watched one of the worst adam sandler movies ever last night so everything seems fine its like eating cheap canned soup after only eating rotten food for a day. i like drew barrymore generally so im some what optimistic for her character.

i spoke too soon, it is not improving. this plot is extremely predictable i can tell its enemies to lovers very fanfic troupe whatever everything doesn't have to be groundbreaking cinema but it feels lazy. it has quite a few good actors so thats a plus?

my least favorite bit so far is the 12 (?) year old boy with a crush on the babysitter. i know thats normal it happens but the whole way of addressing it is unfunny jerking off humor yk. also not a continuing thing but i thought the period jokes were strange bc they're just inaccurate, its strange to me that two actresses were backing up that tampon size correlates to pussy size and that when your older you stretch out, its literally that frank iero meme the what pussy size are you- i didnt know people actually believed that lol. also another thing thats very typical for these type of movies were the lesbian jokes about the main character and her friend, it felt like it was going on too long. the joke seems like a one off comment adams character would make not a 3 minute convo yk. i personally didnt find it offensive but it was just long and unfunny, to be fair last night i watched the most stereotype of a movie besides zohan so far.

ooo terry cruz hes in this one as well. i like him too so again i hope his character turns out ok. nothing really to say about them going to africa, very predictable and you immediately find out what happened no suspense. the boy jokes about his daughters are a bit strange, short hair on women is not uncommon in south africa? in 2015 which i assume is around when the movie takes place it wasnt a wild concept, a ton of south african women have short hair and every other hair length. i dont get it. anyways.

ok some american guy made the joke too. i think all these people are stupid, bella thorne just dresses casual and has short hair.

can you tell i forgot everyones names, this is not very memorable.

ew ew i hate the teen boy sorry. hes so eugh. putting on a fake accent and finding his mom hot, bro get help. atleast the people around him are calling him out on it but. 😐

NOOO THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE HER A "GIRL" MAKEOVER DAMN IT WHY. she likes it more thats fine but i hate when this always happens in movies I wish for once they'd do an opposite makeover where they go from feminine to masculine. she really just said "the boys at school think im a lesbian but not the hot kind". why does this movie have so many lesbian and "she looks like a man" jokes.

i cant believe im only halfway done. im really wondering the conflict of this movie, or does nothing happen?

her makeover is fine im glad she likes it but i still dont appreciate the casual clothes short hair slander smh. and why is adam sandlers character so mad like shes 15 bro let her figure herself out.

i feel like drew is doing a lot of motherly stuff and really getting close with the girls but adam did like one thing with one son so far.

the scenes with not a lot of talking and them just doing stuff isn't too bad, it kinda feels like a vacation ad ha.

ok hes doing a bit more now. the oldest boy is still so annoying sorry. its almost over right.

drew barrymore looks so pretty in that dress, and terry cruz has a nice singing voice. wow i think we aren't getting conflict. huh. where are they going to pull out an argument for this. wish i was stargazing rn.

ok i hit it i think, the conflict is just that he isn't ready to move past his dead wife? why cant they just wait. oh hi shaq.

ew wait no i hit the conflict, so her ex husband is insecure and lying. cool. sad adam leaving the house music. im cringing at her ex flirting with her blegh. can they just figure this out already he lied adam likes you get together the end.

slay adam and his kids showed up for the ball game. are they going to get past the misunderstanding yet. this part of the movie isn't too bad it could be the joy of only 7 minutes left.

why did the kids just call each others parents hot. ok.

yipee its the end thank you terry.

...

well its not the worst movie ive seen, but its not one i would rewatch either, it feels very early 2000s so im suprised it was made so recently. i would say overall its a 5/10 on the sandler scale, nowhere near as bad as zohan or ridiculous 6 but not as good as say bedtime story*.

*i wouldn't give that one a perfect rating or even an 8 but it falls on the better side of the scale rather than the negative

ok im done writing i wonder if this will be read to the end. hi if you are still reading 👋

[mystech-master]

I posted 729 times in 2022

43 posts created (6%)

686 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@arundolyn

@hasmashdoneanythingwrong

@kineticallyanywhere

@rex101111

@300iqprower

I tagged 710 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#fate series - 212 posts

#fate grand order - 189 posts

#fgo - 187 posts

#funny - 89 posts

#words of wisdom - 81 posts

#wisdom - 81 posts

#cool - 38 posts

#character analysis - 37 posts

#meta - 28 posts

#character stuff - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 85 characters

#but if you ask me to remember most/any of my classmates/teachers names over the years

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

24 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#4

I feel like in my head we all think of Ragna's Azure Grimoire corruption to look more like this

When in actuality it is apparently this

(You may recognize this from the anime)

the second is dumb because that is not some dark artifact slowly corrupting you, that is just a black sleeve. It is way too neat when it connects to the shoulder.

25 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#3

TYPE-MOON: Okay so we made these male historical figures into females

Fans: But they had female spouses/lovers

TYPE-MOON: Yeah

Fans: So they are lesbians/bisexual

TYPE-MOON: No, they were either political marriages with no feelings involved or were just friends

Fans: I said "so they are lesbians/bisexual"

TYPE-MOON: That's not what I

Fans: SO THEY ARE LESBIANS/BISEXUAL!!!!

TYPE-MOON: ..............................You know what they can F$^# everything as long as you give us money.

34 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#2

Imagining Joker from Persona 5 with Bayonetta-style Powers/Weapons

With Bayonetta 3's release date trailer coming out it reminded me of those jokes going around when Joker was announced in Smash where Bayonetta was his mom.

So for funsies, I was speculating about what if his powers had a more Bayonetta-y twist.

I started by imagining what if he had Infernal Demons inspired by his Confidants, but I couldn't come up with something unique for all of them, as I was too locked into animalistic demons for designs and we'd have 3 big cats if I had my way (Morgana, Ann, and Yoshida).

Then I started thinking of weapons/tools that could be based on them. Lightning Boots for Ryuji, A sort of Naginata with a paintbrush-like tuft near the blade for Yusuke, Motorized Gauntlets and Greaves for Makoto, some sort of Plant-based heavy weapon for Haru, Duel Light and Dark Sabers for Akechi as sort of Joker's version of Durga/Undine (I am not just going to give Joker his teammates weapons, that feels lazy). For Takemi I was thinking a sort of Spider that shoots webs for either grappling purposes, wire attacks ala Walter from Hellsing, or stitching up/bandaging wounds (this would be its main function), Iwai and Oda would both have guns with different traits, but they could combine together. For Kawakami, I was thinking either some kind of minion maker or time power thing, since part of her Confidant is doing things for you so you can have more free time.

This is just a fun idea I was messing around with last night and I wanted to see if anyone else had any fun ideas.

If you guys could imagine Joker with either Infernal Demon summons or Demonic Weapons similar to Bayonetta's arsenal based on his Confidants, what would you give him?

42 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So, Barghest is apparently a fan of Shonen Manga now

66 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fandomness--randomness]

Nerves {Jean Kirschtein x Fem!Reader} Modern/Highschool AU!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Jean's nervous to tell you about his feelings, but after a stressful day of nagging from his friends - he finally gets the courage to confess.

Playlist: Him and Hym (from banana fish)

Tags: @coltsbitch I hope you like it uwu

“You’re staring Jean-booooy!” Sasha teased, dragging an elbow into Jean’s ribs.

The brunette let out a grunt at the sudden intrusion and sent a glare towards the girl. “The fuck was that for?” He complained. Jean lightly shoved Sasha away as he rubbed at his now sore torso.

Sasha chuckled. Rolling her eyes as she put her head in her hands, she said, “you were staring at (Y/N). Again.” Across the table, Connie snickered into his hand.

Jean’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. “No, I wasn’t. I just happened to be looking in her direction. That’s all.” Pushing away the lunch his mother had made him - which Sasha and Connie also made fun of - Jean leaned back in his chair.

Marco, the last and most sensible person of their friend group, cleared his throat. “Ah come on Jean,” he chastised, “they mean well. It’s just... well…” Marco trailed off for a second, a nervous hand coming up scratch at his freckled face. Jean raised an eyebrow at his longtime friend. “Well, you can be a bit obvious. And it hurts to watch sometimes.”

Much to the chagrin of Jean, Sasha and Connie were quick to join in once again.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Sasha exclaimed with a mouthful of fries. “We’re just trying to kick you into high gear and get you to finally ask (Y/N) out!”

Connie leaned forward onto the table. “Haven’t you been madly in love with her since you were like, what - 12?” He waved a lazy hand in the air.

A dark hue spread across Jean’s cheeks, which he quickly hid behind his hand. “Oh shut up ya baldy!” Jean yelled back. He groaned. “I’ve just known her since we were 12. As if I could fall in love with her at that age.”

Sasha let out a triumphant shriek. She practically climbed on top of the poor soccer player in her excitement. “You didn’t deny you love her!” She practically exclaimed to the entire cafeteria. Nearby tables went quiet and glanced their way.

“Shut up Sasha!” Jean retaliated, pushing her off of him. His blush had now reached far past his cheeks, decorating his ears in a pink hue.

Despite the anger radiating off of him, Sasha seemed unperturbed by her friend’s actions. Rather she seemed to get even happier. “Just go talk to her and ask her on a date already!” She said matter of factly before chomping on her slice of pizza.

Jean looked to Marco and Connie for help. As he expected, Connie agreed, saying something along the lines of finally getting with her and to stop acting like a lost puppy. But Marco! Instead of coming to his rescue, Marco simply nodded and agreed.

When the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch, Jean was the first to stand up and leave. In his anger and embarrassment he nearly forgot his lunchbox. He swiped it from Marco’s grasp without thanking him before stomping his way to his next class.

By the time he walked through the doorway of the chemistry class, his anger had dissipated and morphed into a mix of embarrassment and guilt at his actions.

“Stupid Sasha and Connie, trying to meddle in with my damn business. Damn Marco for not backing me up.” Jean grumbled as he sat on the stool.

A soft giggle to his left made him jump.

“Oh (Y/N)!” He said, his voice jumping an octave. He hadn’t even seen you as he ranted and raved under his breath.

“Hey Jean. It looks like you’ve had a bit of a rough day. Sasha and Connie being overbearing again?” You asked, moving a stray lock of hair from your face.

Jean gulped as your curious eyes stared up at him. He was always taller than most people his age, yet you made him feel like the smallest person in the world. You were - as cheesy as it was - different from the other girls in the school. At least to Jean. All the other girls at Paradis High, whether they were friends or strangers to Jean, had a level of unattainability. Some of them were for obvious reasons, such as Historia who practically had a bodyguard in the form of her butch girlfriend, but other reasons were much more transparent. Even if Jean did fantasize about bringing a girl on a date and being in a relationship - it always felt like some wacky dream.

But never with you. You always felt just a bit more physical, a bit more real to Jean. Maybe it was because of how comfortable you were with him or your constant curiosity that led to you getting into trouble that would have been easily avoidable (and sometimes dragging Jean down with you).

You were always just an arm’s distance away. A distance Jean didn’t dare cross, not at 12 years old and not at 17.

“Uh yeah, they were just getting on my ass about a girl. Marco wasn’t any help either, so I’m just a bit annoyed at them.” He finally responded, rubbing the back of his neck.

You blinked up at him for a moment before an expression of realization spread across your features like a wave. Excitedly, you grabbed onto his upper arm and pulled him down closer to you.

“Do you like a girl, Jean?!”

Jean thanked whatever mystical being out there that you had enough sense to whisper your conclusion to him, but then promptly cursed them out as you stared at him face to face. He could smell the mint you had after lunch fanning over his face.

Jean opened and closed his mouth quickly, unsure of how to respond, scared that if he spoke his voice would croak and falter.

Thankfully the chemistry teacher Dr. Hange walked in, earning everyone’s attention with a loud clap.

Letting go of Jean’s arm, you stood straight up in your chair and listened as Dr. Hange reviewed what today’s class would cover; but not before sending Jean a smirk.

Fidgeting with his fingers under the desk, Jean did his best to ignore your glances and overall presence, intent on willing the whole discussion about his crush out of existence. That is until you slid a small note to Jean’s side of the black desk. Scribbled in your clean handwriting was a request - no - an order.

You’re totally filling me in on this girl after school! I’m not taking no for an answer!

Jean sighed to himself, grimacing as your playful grin appeared at the edge of his vision.

“Jeeeaaan! Come on!” You whined, bouncing on his bed. “Why won’t you tell me who your crush is!”

Said boy let out a sigh as he dropped his book bag onto the floor next to his desk and all but collapsed into the gaming chair. Leaning his head back on the headrest, he answered in a taut voice. “Because I don’t want to.”

“Totally not because it’s you.” He thought.

You groaned in frustration, tossing and turning on his bed, inevitably ruining the nicely folded blankets. “Come on! I’ve known you since we were in middle school!”

Jean chuckled. “Yeah sure, if you count two kids bored out of their minds on family trips to the mountains only to never see each other until high school as knowing each other since middle school.”

Sitting up on the bed, you pouted at the brunette. “Damn. You really didn’t have to get specific about it.”

The laughter that bubbled out of Jean’s chest was uncontrollable. Doubling over in his chair, Jean finally looked at you for the first time since getting to his house. “Why shouldn’t I? When you showed up in the middle of last year and latched yourself onto me - everyone thought you were my secret girlfriend! Hell, even I was confused as to why you were practically glued to my arm.”

Jean continued to laugh, more to himself now. When his laughter finally fizzled away and his eyes were no longer clouded by tears, he sat back up in his chair - only to go rigid again.

You had pulled your legs into your chest and were staring away from Jean. The sharp glint of your eyes told Jean that he had pissed you off.

“A shit (Y/N), I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

Taking a deep breath, your body relaxed against itself.

“I know, you big idiot. It’s just… you were my first real friend. Of course I got excited when we reunited years later.” You chuckled to yourself at the memory of spotting him in the middle of homeroom. The joy and relief you felt that day was tremendous.

Standing up, Jean walked over to the bed and sat next to you before falling against his plush covers with a dulled thump. He patted the bed. A silent invitation for you to lay next to him. You took it and laid next to him, staring at the ceiling in silence.

No words were spoken between the two of you for some time. This is how it went sometimes. The two of you didn’t need to talk constantly to keep the energy comfortable and flowing. Comforting silences were a rare thing to have.

The soft breathing and heat radiating off of Jean nearly had you falling asleep. That is until he spoke up, startling you awake.

“She’s really sweet ya know.” Jean could see you turn to him with a raised eyebrow out of his peripheral. “The girl I like. She’s really sweet. A little overbearing with her physical affection, but nothing crazy. She’s… people-smart. She knows when to start and stop.” Jean could feel you shift on the bed so that your head was level with his. He continued talking without thinking of the consequences. “She’s got a few unconventional hobbies and does stupid shit all the time. Had to stitch up her pinkie finger once because she cut it while exploring an abandoned house.” Jean’s own pinkie moved towards your hand, making contact with your own pinkie finger. He traced the raised scar. “She’s super smart too and is always working to get better for herself. And… well I’ve liked her for a while but I was always scared to face the feelings she gave me whenever we hang out. I didn’t want to accept them. It was odd. I was used to never having a shot with the people I liked. But you… you just seemed to shoot right into me without me even realizing it.”

Finally, Jean had the courage to look at you. Your cheeks were darkened with a deep blush and your eyes twinkled. Jean didn’t say anything. He waited for your response with bated breath. The two of you laid there on dark covers for what felt like an eternity.

“For fucks sake (Y/N). Ya gotta respond to me.” Jean choked out in a harsh whisper. His hand was trembling from the nerves.

“I can play a 2 hour soccer game without issue, but I can’t make a simple confession without shaking? What the hell Jean.” He thought bitterly.

As though life was breathed back into you - you took a deep breath.

Quick and sudden nods.

Jean furrowed his eyebrows.

Your hand inched its way into his.

Jean pushed himself up onto his elbow and leaned over you

Your gleaming eyes flashed to his lips and back up to his eyes.

A silent exchange of words.

Leaning forward, Jean let his forehead lightly knock against yours. “Can I kiss you.”

“Please.”

Slowly, Jean let his lips ghost over yours. Just barely touching. As though Jean was scared any harsh movements would make you break. You surged into the kiss, squeezing onto his hand still interlocked with yours.

Jean internally groaned, the taste of your minty tongue invading his senses. If he didn’t stop kissing you now he was going to go crazy.

Pulling back from your lips, he stared down at you. You chuckled nervously, fingers twitching.

“What? Am I that bad of a kisser?”

Jean shook his head quickly. “No way. You’re amazing. Just… just fucking relieved you feel the same way.”

You smiled up at him. “I mean, of course. You were my first friend. Only makes sense that you were my first love too.”

Bonus:

“Jean-boy, I made some sandwiches for you and (Y/N) to e- OH!”

“Ma! It’s not what it looks like!”

“I’m so sorry! I’ll leave you two alone. Make sure to use protection!”

A pillow thudded against the freshly closed door and fell to the floor in a sad lump.

“SHUT UP MA!”

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

Just me, reviewing yet another teen drama, Fate: the winx saga edition.

The highlights of the season for me were Musa and Riven, Flora finally making an appearence and the friendship between Stella a Beatrix.

Now onto the plot, i think it was a solid idea, it carried on from season one with the Aster Dell thing and i can kinda see the point of Sebastian, he's just too much of a caricature evil to inspire anything else. I did thought it was weird at the end the rest of the blood witches just....left, like, what the fuck lol, felt like a lazy way to tie up loose ends, like yeah their leader is gone but surely those people still want their loved oned back. Also i have beef with however is tasked with designing their transformations, theres no outfit change, the wings look werid once the montage is over and i hate that its probably because they want to give it "realism" ITS A SHOW ABOUT MAGICAL FARIES RICHARD, GIVE THEM SPARKLY OUTFITS.

Into the characters!

Bloom is not my favorite, she's okay, not bad for a main character, just a bit repetitive. It did bother me at the end when she told sky he was the most important person in her life when i think through out the season she had more meaningul scenes with her friends than with him. And their relationship is kind of not it, they have awful comunkcation and when she confromts him about it he says he doesnt tell her about his problems because she is the answer which, ok cute honey but you need comunication for a relationship to work. Idk, they are very vanilla but, they could be written better.

Sky's struggles made for an interesting arc this season, he went through some pretty fucked up shit and it sucks that the season ended for him with his girlfriend basically unaliving herself as far as he is concerned. One thing i like about this show is that no character has as a motivation only his love interest which is why i appreciate they gave Sky something to do this season besides Bloom. Im interested to see how he handles his loss next season.

I cannot stress enough how much i liked Musa this season, i love how they handle her relationship with her powers and she and Riven finally interacting made my freaking week. I hope they let her keep training to be an Specialist next season and i hope somebody gets the idea of giving a combat magic class, its kind of ridiculous a room full of fairies with different types of magic couldnt come up with a plan to try an scape and instead waited patiently to be rescued while being drained one by one.

Riven, Riven, Riven. His fallout with Beatrix and Dane was kind of inevitable, i do love myself some badass female grey character but relationships without affective responsability are doomed from the begining, it was definitely something while it lasted. I like the little moments when you realize he isnt a complete asshole, like when he brought each girl a drink that suited their taste or when he explained to Musa that it wasnt that he didnt want to train her because she was a woman, but because they were on the brink of war and it was dangerous for her. He cares, and i care about him, i just want him a Musa to be a happy couple.

Terra's personality annoys me so much lol, i know a girl just like her in really life and it annoys the shit out of me when i know something is right and she comes acting like she knows best and everybody elses work is mediocre, this is unrelated to the writing of her character really, is just an unfortunate coincidence. Her coming out arc was nice and her scenes with the specialist were kind of sweet but i dont think they have chemestry with each other. There's not much more to say about her, she isnt my favorite character and i doubt she'll grow on me but thats nobody's fault.

AISHAAAAAA, i like her a lot, i think they could've given her more scenes with Grey. Like at the end she tells him he lied to her for months and....i dont think we even got a scene of them just...hanging out besides the one where they kissed, i would've loved to see more of their relationship on screen and i would like for them to explore what he told her the day they left the pub about her not having to carry the weight of her friends, she is the smartest but she should allow herself to be a teen (this goes for every one of those poor girls, if Sebastian had any good point, it was the fact that they should be enjoying their lives as teenagers).

Stella, i know we all miss the og cartoon Stella, but if they were going to change her character i dont think this is that bad of a change. I mean the image of her back covered in blood because she was trying to get rid of the gem was heartbreaking and she has had good progress with letting people in and forming genuine bonds with the girls, i enjoyed her friendship with Beatrix, hope they bring her back.

Flora is a 10/10 would recomend, badass bitch all the way, i dont think the show gave her all the praise that she needed, she literally took on dozens of magic sucking thingies to save everybody without a second thought, Bloom was ready to risk it all for 17 y/o boy next door but Flora was out here bringing the brains AND the muscle, they need to thank her appropietly. I also like that she is between nerdy and an extrovert, i feel like we only get those types of characters as a popular girl is secretly smart, Flora is just smart and outgoing and confident and its refreshing.

I support womens rights, but most importantly, i support Beatrix's wrongs. She was raised by Rosalind and Andreas and their dubious morals, she lost her father, her emotional suport boytoys and got pushed aside by the woman she thought would helo her discover more things about herself, i cant imagine feeling that alone and i 100% understand her actions. Hope they bring her back next season.

Thats all, ill watch next season, its a shame we were depruved of sparkly fairy outfits, but i doubt that'll change.

[d-andilion]

An au for your au from the wip tag game!

this one is fun! last year, i started an arranged marriage au called gold and silver, in which jaskier and geralt are princes who were childhood best friends and betrothed from a young age. in the story, geralt's father (vesemir) dies and geralt becomes king of his kingdom before he and jaskier are wed.

after part 1 was all posted, i was working on part 2 and thought to myself, "what if the boys got married before vesemir died and geralt was crowned king?" and thus, 'an au 4 ur au' was born. i honestly don't know if i'll ever finish and post it! it's 2k words of crack that i wrote for my own personal satisfaction. for that reason, i'm just going to post the whole thing (or at least what's readable) below! you don't need to have read the original fic to get it (but please do!!!)

Note: it gets a tiny bit horny, but nothing explicit

thanks for playing!

send me a wip title and i'll give you a snippet

Another minute ticks by, and the courtyard is silent as a crypt.

It is a very important day for the Wolves of the Mountain– the annual Review of The Guard. Each year, every member of the Royal Guard gathers before the royal family for a ceremonial inspection. Every soldier sits atop a fine steed, their black armor striking against the white-capped mountains beyond, and awaits the approval of their king.

Indeed, they present themselves thus this very morning, a perfect crisp and sunny day. And they continue to present themselves in increasingly tense silence. Even the horses seem to sense the tone in the air, their hooves still against the cobblestones.

King Vesemir is there, golden circlet gleaming in the sunshine, clad in his finest ceremonial cloak. His younger sons are both there, standing perfectly still at their father’s side with barely suppressed grins twisting their faces. Every noble, every attendant, and every servant down to the stable boys are present and accounted for, awaiting their king’s command for the ceremony to begin.

But His Grace remains as silent as the rest of them, fists clenching tighter and tighter at his sides with each passing second. Every eye in the courtyard rests, not on their king, but on the glaringly vacant space to his right, wide enough for two.

“Jord,” the king spits through gritted teeth.

The summoned servant appears at once just behind His Grace’s shoulder, dutifully awaiting instruction.

“Where are the princes?” the king asks.

“The princes?” Jord replies. It was the wrong thing to say.

“My son and son-in-law! Crowned heirs to the throne, those princes!” shouts the king, startling all his attendants and a few of the horses.

“Yes, of course,” says Jord, properly cowed. “I sent an errand boy to fetch them some time ago—“

“Clearly, the message was not received.”

“Yes, your Grace.”

“Find them. Now.”

“At once, your Grace.”

~

A few corridors and a world away, the morning is slipping by far too quickly.

A low rumble of a laugh escapes Geralt as he rolls over onto his back, shoving pillows and cushions out of his way as he goes. There are too many in the damn bed, more than two people could ever hope to need, but his husband so adores little comforts, and so the many cushions remain. A small sacrifice in the grand scheme, he supposes.

The husband in question is quick to follow, straddling Geralt’s waist and capturing his mouth for yet another string of lazy kisses. Geralt grins against Jaskier's lips, relishing in the sweet sounds he receives as he runs his hands along planes of wonderfully bare skin.

“We should get up,” Jaskier mumbles, putting a breath of space between them.

“Five more minutes,” Geralt replies.

Jaskier rolls his eyes lightly, a smile on his lips, and buries his face in the space between Geralt’s neck and shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses as he goes. “I’ve made a lazy bum of you, haven’t I?”

Geralt only hums in response. They don’t often lie in like this, in truth. Since the conclusion of their honeymooning period some months ago, many important duties have been delegated to them, and they take each one very seriously. It’s only fitting. They are to be kings someday, after all.

But every once in a great while, Geralt simply cannot be bothered to get out of bed. Not when he is surrounded by so many annoyingly comfortable cushions and his unfairly handsome husband–with nary a scrap of cloth on him at that.

Geralt's wandering hands dip down to Jaskier's muscled thighs and squeeze playfully before trailing back up, earning him a shudder. A few open-mouthed kisses against the side of his neck are all the encouragement he needs. He holds firmer, tighter, sliding his palms higher inch by inch until his fingers graze the perfect curve of–

A few harsh raps on their door startle him to stillness.

"My Lord Princes?" calls a familiar voice from outside. Geralt sighs heavily. Of course, it is Jord, his father's most trusted attendant.

"Go away," Geralt calls back, grinning as Jaskier's giggles shake them both. "We're busy."

"I'm afraid I must insist, my Lord. Your father has requested your presence in the courtyard at once."

Geralt furrows his brow in confusion and opens his mouth to ask whatever his father could want of him in the courtyard before Jaskier shoots up from the bed, leaning over him with wide eyes.

"Fuck, Geralt," he exclaims. "The Review of The Guard!"

Geralt's gut drops through the floor as he remembers. "Shit."

~

Several minutes and an inordinate amount of swearing later, two princes run through the castle corridors as fast as their formal trousers will allow. More of a brisk walk, really. And all the while, stuffing shirts into waistbands and hastily doing up buttons. The pair of them bluster into the courtyard fully dressed, but with nearly every hair out of place, poor Jord in tow.

Geralt only has time to tilt his husband’s crown, a simple golden ring to match his and his brothers’ silver ones, into a moderately straighter position before his father’s furious gaze is upon them. He straightens himself at once to the perfect posture he had been drilled on all his life as if it would save them any scrutiny. Every eye in the courtyard is on them.

His father glares over his shoulder at them both. Geralt wishes he knew how late they were. At least then he would have some idea as to how much shit they were in.

“Prince Geralt,” his father says stiffly in way of greeting.

“Father,” Geralt replies, dipping his head respectfully. His father’s glare shifts to Geralt’s right.

“Prince Jaskier.”

“Your Grace,” says Jaskier, a touch higher than his usual voice, bowing his head as well.

“Kind of you to join us.”

“Forgive our–” Geralt begins, but he gets no further.

“I’ll hear your excuses later,” his father interrupts harshly. “Let’s get this over with.”

The king turns away from his troublesome charges without another word to begin the ceremony. Geralt takes the opportunity to share a reassuring look with his husband, but Jaskier doesn’t see him, eyes trained resolutely at the ground. His cheeks are flushed bright red and Geralt wishes he could believe it was the cold wind affecting him, but he knows better.

Guilt coils in his gut as he faces forward again, pretending to watch his father’s promenade along the rows of mounted Guards. This was his fault, fool that he was. He attended this stupid ceremony every year since before he could remember, how could he forget? And now he’d humiliated Jaskier in front of the entire palace staff and every fucking noble in the kingdom.

How could he have been so careless? Jaskier has been here nearly a year, but Geralt knows how unsure he is of himself, still adjusting to a new home and hundreds of strange faces, most of which still called him ‘outsider’ behind his back. This was the last thing he needed, a debacle the maids would surely be whispering about for months.

By the Gods’ mercy, the Review is over with relative haste. The king gives the customary speech, commending the Royal Guard for their loyalty and bravery and blah, blah, blah. The audience applauds politely and all are dismissed.

Geralt knows better than to try and slip out with the crowd, but he can’t say he isn’t tempted to try, especially as his brothers taunt him from the archways. No, Geralt stays put by Jaskier’s side and resists the urge to grab his husband's hands where they pick nervously at his fingernails.

The king keeps his back to them until the last stragglers are gone from the courtyard. Geralt prays that no one is listening behind the walls, for Jaskier’s sake at least, as his father turns to face them. This is going to be ugly. He can already tell.

“Go on with your excuses. I’m very interested to hear what you came up with.”

[rae-gar-targaryen]

ok so i finally got around to reading amor fati, not because i didn’t want to before but because i went out and drank more than i ever did in my life the other night and was just a sluggish amateur adult the next day or so with the will to do nothing but lay down…. but even in my laziness i thought of this fic and the feelings id be feeling once id read everything… lets just say rae babe you do not disappoint.

i think at this point we both know we have this mutual affinity for nature metaphors and metaphysics and all that jazz so naturally id love your little italicized blurbs stuck in the middle and just at the end of each section. This one to be exact “But forever is made of little nows” which is followed later, on purpose or otherwise by “Willing to banter with you a bit more” and idk i just thought to myself yes!! These little endearing moments, light touches and soft words, the intimacy. In the moment they always seem so small and too intangible of a thing to be sure of but these two, Druig and Selene, literally have an eternity. They have the time to see everything manifest from nothing into every and anything. They have forever to love, and fall away and come back together again and i just think that is so amazing, the way you did that.

i was trying to come up with a way to like describe the way your writing makes me feel, how the words greet me when i read them and all i could come up with was weightless but idk it felt more like an insult than praise because any writer wants there words to have weight and yours does. but theres this angelic-ness to them, very light and feathery, contemplative and almost intangible in the sense that im always trying to touch them but they’re just too far in the ether. They are more so washing over me, and thats how im feeling them, as they settle way down and allow me to ruminate about how its all organized. yea this was unnecessarily long, i could’ve just said i enjoyed this but idk, i feel like what you do, what you put into this is worth more than a “i really liked this”. especially since i was kinda disappointed by the film in some ways, this made up for somethings for me.

but yeah…. thats it for now, till you write for matt and blow me away again❤️

Mi amor, mi alma, my lovely Jo --

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this. Thank you for reading and for reblogging and sending me this MONSTER of a review. It was beyond what my heart could ever have wished for -- and to receive praise from YOU??? Feels so warm and lovely. I just want to preen in this sunbeam like a very lazy, very proud cat.

First of all -- I hope you had a nice night out, and recovery was restful! I had a bit of an evening myself on Saturday night (after posting) where my friend and I started inventing cocktails. It was... perhaps not an advisable evening, but a VERY fun one.

Second -- YES!!! Game recognize game! I love the poetry, the symmetry, the subtle interwoven connections replete throughout YOUR writing, and you know how much I admire it, and you! So to hear that praise from you?? Really makes me feel something special.

And as far as the whole "weighted words," thing... I know EXACTLY what you mean and dont mind me as I cry -- because you've picked up on something in my writing that I never really bothered to put words to, but have always tried to do. And no one has ever really said anything about it quite like this -- that sometimes there are delicate ways to say "heavy" things. Sometimes, I find others' writing to be particularly heavy-handed, or the wording is too direct, with no surrounding "cushion" of build up or feeling. And it just feels -- abrasive to me? So, I try to make my writing as soft and dreamlike as possible, while still maintaining conversational realism and actions.

I just hope it translates. But I'm so honored that you put it like that!

ILYSM! I hope you're doing well. And YESSSS -- Shhhhh, but I'm jotting notes for a potential Matt fic as we SPEAK. Maybe I'll send you a screenshot of the nastiness in my notes app. LOL.

[veilder]

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you" - North60

Another prompt fill that I actually managed to get done? What?! Well, you're as surprised as I am. XD Anyway, I have no idea if this is even good or not but I guess I'll post it anyway. This is set vaguely as the third piece in the North60 series I intend to write. (The first part of it is published already but I've been working on the second for a long time and it's still not done. >_<) So if anyone is a bit OOC, just blame it on some intended character growth that's already theoretically happened, lol. So yeah... here's to the very few of you out there who love this ship as much as I do. Enjoy? 😅

butterflies around the flame

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Sixty pauses, looking over to North as she sidles up beside him on the gangway. She wears her expression of steely determination just as fittingly as her slightly-singed tactical suit and Sixty can’t help the small burst of assurance both sights inspire in him despite his current irascibility. His scanners pick up a myriad of weapons on her person, knives and guns and batons and tasers, and it soothes some basic part of his coding that crows at him to keep her safe. She can look out for herself. Hell, she can look out for him too if the way she's muttered that phrase several times over the course of their friendship is anything to go by. Time and again she's looked out for him, vouching for him to her friends, taking him on as her second-in-command in the security corps, mediating disputes he manages to get himself involved in, etc.

And here and now too, apparently, she's decided to shoulder the responsibility for his actions. Even as he stares, she nods her head down to the burnt edges of his jacket and trousers, waving a lazy hand to the entirety of his ash-encompassed form. "I’m serious, I’ll talk to them. You did what you had to and I'll make sure Markus knows it. Losing one building is better than what would've happened without the distraction."

Sixty frowns, doing his best to nonchalantly lean against the metal railing as he peers down at the gathered deviants below. The deviants he had done his best to save during the pandemonium. The deviants who stood huddled and scared and singed because of his stupid plan. They were lucky... Lucky to make it out. No thanks to him.

"I could've taken the humans down myself," he says eventually, a scowl crawling its way across his face. "Far less collateral damage. Quick and efficient. You know I could've, North." He snaps his gaze back towards her. "This could've killed them." He nods his head towards the crowd below. "I could've killed them. And for what? A crazed mob of humans hellbent on destroying us?"

North shakes her head. "But you didn't kill them. You didn't kill anybody, Sixty. We have you to thank for everyone making it out alive. Even the humans." Her words are soft but her eyes shine brightly, that same righteous anger burning through them as courses through his Thirum lines. She's just as upset about the attack as he is. He knows this. After all, she'd been on guard when it all went down, too. She'd heard his transmissions, understood what he was planning. She'd led the evacuation of New Jericho personally and perfectly in sync with him springing his trap. And now, huddled in an abandoned warehouse near the wreckage of the original Jericho freighter, the harried android population coming full-circle in the worst of ways, they are the only two who can explain the full situation to Markus.

Somehow, just knowing how incandescently angry North is about all of this is enough to stabilize his systems a bit, his dangerously high stress levels sinking back down to a more moderate rate. "Well, can't have His Leaderness getting all up in arms with me for snuffing out a few organics, now can we? Not after last time."

North snorts, the sound inelegant and coarse, and Sixty feels his stress levels sinking even more. But when she looks up at him, she is far from amused, her eyes burning with resolve as a wicked, cruel smile teases the edges of her lips. "Your restraint is admirable, Six. Can't say I wouldn't have taken the shot if I were in your place."

Here in the dim light, her uniform practically fades into the darkness. Her vibrant hair is tied back and hidden, her hands are gloved, her face is cast in shadows. Every part of North is dimmed and defeated, even her muttered words wreathed in fury and despair.

But even with her glaring down at the assembly like an avenging angel, her palpable fury emanating from her like a physical thing, Sixty can't help but scoff. "You wouldn't." He smirks as her eyes snap back to his, the challenge in her gaze masking the vulnerability underneath. "You wouldn't take the shot," he says again. "You wanna know how I know?"

Hesitantly, she nods, enough suspicion in her gaze to make him cackle. (Which he does. Loudly.)

Sixty reaches out and takes her hand, giving her his own crooked, slightly deranged smile in return. "It's because I didn’t. And that’s because of you." He squeezes her hand, the pulse of her Thirium lines under the sensitive sensors of his fingertips as mesmerizing as it is reassuring. "You've always been better than you seem to think you are. You wouldn't take a life if there was another option. That's never been you, even at your lowest." He chuckles softly. "You always protect. Even when you hate someone or something, you always try to find the best option. You 'take care of things'. That's how I came to be here in the first place, isn't it?"

North's grip is firm in his own as he flashes her another grin and Sixty can feel it, the way she retracts her skin even with the barrier of cloth between them. Without thought, without care, he reciprocates, letting his own Thirium coating recede back into the magnetized nodes dotting his chassis. The two of them sink into the interface, the low hum of each other's minds a sweet and soothing backdrop to the chaos all around them. The interface is only surface level, not deep enough to be anything other than an awareness of each other, but it is enough to magnify North's words through his whole self as she speaks: "But I never hated you. Not like them."

Sixty merely laughs. "But you should've."

And there is no contestation. She knows as well as he the sins of his past. But she's never judged him for them, not once. It's perhaps what he loves most about her, her willingness to accept his flaws. Even here and now, with the ashes of their people's dreams upon his body, she never once hesitated to accept him. It's enough to incite a 0.33 second timing fluctuation in the steady beat of his Thirium pump. The error message that accompanies it is a familiar friend in her presence these days.

In the warmth of their interface, Sixty continues on: "But you know as well as I do that you don't need to like someone to do the right thing." He spares a brief moment to think of his hallowed predecessor and the complicated relationship between them.

North nods. "Yeah, I... I know, Six. I know." She glances up at him through her eyelashes. "When the hell did you end up the voice of reason?"

Sixty snorts out a laugh. "I have my moments."

Her smile is genuine this time as she stares up at him. "You sure do."

And though his records will later tell him that this moment lasted less than a second, Sixty swears they stare at each other for an eternity. Time slows as if his preconstruction software has started up, each prolonged moment a gift for his harried system. And when at last they draw apart, breaking the shallow interface at last, they both do so with a smile and severely diminished stress level.

"Alright, I still need to explain things to Markus and Josh and Simon," North reiterates. "I'm sure they're here somewhere."

Sixty nods. "Yeah, they're over in that corner," he says, pointing.

North's scandalized face is enough to have him laughing again. "Sixty! You knew they were here all along?!"

"Of course," he laughs, "I've got the best scanners on the market. They've been here the whole time. They've been delegating or something, I'm not sure."

"Why didn't you say something!"

"Well quite frankly, I needed a moment. And then you needed a moment. And then we were having a moment, so..."

"Ugh, I can't believe you! I need to go. Now."

But before she can walk off, Sixty sidles in front of her. "Whoa whoa whoa, I think you mean we need to go. Right?"

She stares at him, uncomprehending.

"Okay, lemme put it to you this way then," he chuckles. "We will go explain my actions to the Big Boss. Then we can check on the security team and see if they're still doing alright. And then we can go find a quiet spot where we can try and beat the shit out of each other for a bit. Y'know. Let off some steam. Relax." He gives her a wink and revels in how her lips twitch at the sight.

"...You wouldn't insist if you hadn't already made up your mind, huh?" She doesn't even wait for him to confirm it before continuing, "Well, alright. Because that... That sounds good, Six.” North says. And then quieter, as if she was speaking only to herself, she mutters, “What would I ever do without you?"

Her whispered question rings sincere through Sixty's audio processor. He saves the soundbyte for further review and answers, "You'd take care of things. You always do."

And she smiles, so soft and sweet that another Thirium pump error flashes across Sixty's HUD. "Yeah. I always do. But it’d be less fun without you here."

Sixty reaches out a hand again and thrills when she accepts it, the two of them walking together along the gangway down to where the rest of the Jericho leadership are stationed. He chuckles. “I knew you kept me around for something.” This time, it’s him who initiates, opening up another interface for them to connect with. North reciprocates immediately and it makes Sixty proud to feel how much calmer she is now. “But I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that. I pity the poor idiot who tries to make me leave now. You’d tear them apart.”

North’s eyes flash, a sinister gleam accompanied by another cruel grin. “I’d 'take care of them'.”

Sixty barks out a hearty laugh, so enamored, so proud. “And I'll take care of you."

She chuckles right back and squeezes his hand, a steady warmth pulsing through their connection. "And maybe I'd even let you." And with eyes facing forward with renewed determination, she pulls him along with her towards their goal. “Now come on, Security Officer. There’s work to be done.”

----------------

Bonus:

Markus: "So... You're saying that you're the one who blew up New Jericho?" Sixty: "Yep!" 😃 Markus: [turning to North] "And you're saying you... encouraged him to do this?" North: "Sure did!" 😀 Markus: [staring into the camera like it's The Office] "If ever there were a time for someone to invent alcoholic Thirum, it's now." Sixty & North: 😀😀😀

[punkcupcakestyles]

Love Song

Part 16

Catch up!

In which one of them says the “L” word.

TW: Hi, this chapter contains references to DV. If you don’t feel like reading it, that's fine, your wellbeing is a priority. However, if you would like to read some of this new chapter, you can skip it, as references are only made in the first part directly under the “read more”, which is marked with a ++++ for you. Once that bracket ends, it is TW-free. 

****

Are Harry Styles and Sofia Welsh a thing?

Surely, you must be asking this yourself…

++++

Harry was still asleep when I woke up. He was sleeping on his belly, with his back turned to me, and I scooted closer to him, brushing my fingers over the light red marks I had left on his skin. So, last night had happened, and those marks were there to prove it. 

I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, trying to come up with all of the ways I was different that morning. We had sex, which was new, and then took a shower together and fell asleep in the middle of kisses and giddy laughs, which wasn’t so new. My body was the same, except for the slight pain on one side of my hips, and the ticklish memory of Harry’s lips on my skin. My mind was fluttery and anxious, but that wasn’t Harry’s fault.

It was mine.

One thing was different: Harry knew.

What had happened last night? I was desperate for Harry to stay. I felt like my heart would break irreparably if he walked away. A desperate, exaggerated feeling, no doubt, but it felt so real at that moment, so overwhelmingly true, that nothing else mattered. So I told him about my mom and my aunt, about my family. I had told him I needed a hiding place…

What comes next?

Harry rustled in his sleep and I found myself holding my breath before I could even realize, watching as he turned to lie on his back. It seemed like he was going to wake up at any minute now, and I still hadn’t chosen the feeling I should focus on. 

On one hand, I felt excited and giddy, the memory of the previous night vividly replaying in my mind. Last night, he was mine, he had stayed and I had slept in his arms; I also felt guilty and ashamed, tied up to a story I hadn’t chosen for myself. 

If I closed my eyes, I could see him, moving in all of his fury. I could hear the screams and the lies. I could never shake away the feeling that it was all my fault. I should have done something earlier. 

“Fuck,” I moaned, already feeling the ghosts as they circled me. I could see him, blazing up like a pure fire that wanted to burn everything that it could find. I could see her, making herself small, waiting for whatever was coming her way. Neither of them could see me. 

“Sof?” I heard Harry’s voice, but it sounded far away, more like a whisper making its way through a tangle of darkness. If I searched for it, if I reached for it…Harry looped one arm around my waist, and he must have thought that I was having a nightmare, cause he let his body wrap around mine to keep me warm and close. Safe. “It’s ok,” he whispered and I could hear his voice clearer now, even if it was sleepy. “I’m here, baby.”

I think he did it out of reflex, because his eyelids were still heavy with sleep, struggling to open, even when it was still dark around us. I quickly turned around, burying my face onto the crook of his neck and smiling when his hug became tighter and his fingers tangled in my knotty hair. 

He still smelled fresh from the shower and his skin was cold to the touch, so I sighed as I kissed his shoulder and neck, and I felt comfort when his lips met mine in a lazy, soft kiss.  

“Were you having a bad dream?” He asked, once sleep had faded away. I could see the outline of his face and could feel the touch of his fingers as he brushed them up my waist and to my back. It was soothing, but the ache was still there, bringing me down and suffocating me. 

“No,” I said with a raspy voice that I could barely recognize as mine. I cleared my throat and blinked away the tears that were brimming my eyes so he wouldn’t notice them. “I was awake. Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s ok.” I could hear the smile in his voice, which was tinted with a sweet hint that settled underneath my skin and made me feel warm, my own heart forgetting about rhythm and beating. “Are you ok?”

“Now that you’re awake, I am.”

“Good, baby. I’m here for you,” Harry whispered. He brushed his lips over my forehead and pressed a soft kiss there, one that told me more than words could. “Wanna tell me what happened? You were so tense.”

“H..." I hesitated. How did I explain it to him? How did I tell him what I had done? That I didn't regret it? “Do you really want to know?” I asked him. I pushed myself away from him, rolling away from his arms to sit on the bed. He did the same, sitting by my side as he propped himself up on the pillows. This wasn’t how I imagined the morning after, and I bet it wasn’t like he had imagined it either.

“Yes!” He said, which was exactly the answer I was dreading. “You don’t have to, Sof, but you can always tell me if something’s upsetting you.”

“I...I didn’t want you to go yesterday. I wanted you to stay,” I said, trying to earn myself some time to articulate my thoughts. “So I told you some things that I’ve never said to anyone before. And I’m feeling guilty and afraid of what you might think.”

“Ok,” he said, which was not nearly enough, but it prompted me to continue. 

“And I feel the desperate need to tell you that my dad wasn’t always bad, that I had a pony, and on Fridays, I could eat way too much sugar. I don’t want you to think…” I stopped because I needed to gulp back my tears. My mom and I, we’re strong people.”

“I know.”

“And I don’t want you to think any different about me.”

“Why would I, Sof?” Why would he? Because I kept telling myself that I did what I had to do, but I’m lying. At that moment, all I felt was rage, not survival. I wanted to hurt him, make him suffer for what he had done, even if just a bit. I wanted to kill him. But I didn’t. “C’mere,” Harry said, and his fingers found mine and squeezed them lightly as he laced them together. So I obeyed and breathed him in as he pulled me into a tight hug. “You’re safe, I promise.”

“I know.”

“Good,” he breathed and his body noticeably relaxed, even though I don’t think either of us even had realized he was holding his breath in. 

If anything, it made the butterflies in my tummy rise and flutter. 

****

Kacey Musgraves and Harry Styles reunited yesterday, on the last date of her Oh, What a World: Tour II, to sing “Space Cowboy” from her hit album Golden Hour. The heartfelt performance was received with cheers from the audience. At the end of the song, Styles praised her former tour partner, calling her one of his favorites. It was a breathtaking moment.

Eagle-eyed fans, however, also noticed a special guest that was not announced, and that tried to blend in with the crowd: Styles’ on-and-off rumored girlfriend Sofia Welsh-De la Rosa was seen in the crowd during the duet performance, along with her agent and some friends. Does this mean a confirmation of the romance? Not quite, as she stayed to enjoy the concert even after he left the stage and was nowhere to be seen during the closing party. Was it just a coincidence? Is Welsh a stalker? Fans have been weighing in on Twitter, but the question remains: If Sofia Welsh gets ghosted, what hope do I have? Below you’ll find some of the most relatable comments…

****

It all started innocently, sitting next to him on the couch to cuddle while he reviewed the plan for his next single. It was all laid out in an e-mail, with wardrobe ideas and stage mockups. A glimpse of his screen was enough to catch my attention, as I saw what looked like a fisherman island and a couple of lively-looking fishes. 

“What’s the song about?” I asked him, peering up at him as my head rested on his shoulder. I had to ask, there were fish involved!

“Well...you. It’s about you.” Harry smiled and I saw him blush a little while he avoided looking me in the eyes.

“No, really, tell me!”

“It’s about you, Sof. What makes you think I’m joking?”

“Why would you write a song about me? Is it about how annoying I am?” I grinned and I propped myself up with one hand, so I could look him in the eyes while we talked. It was funny, ‘cause I knew about the song, he had told me the night of our date, which seemed like ages ago. But now, my brain was going into overdrive, and I stared at him as he leaned closer and let his lips brush over a kiss over my forehead. 

“It’s about how much I like you,” he said, and this time, he met my eyes while I stared at him stupidly. 

“Is that the surprise you told me about? I would’ve thought you had pulled it from the album after everything that’s happened these last few weeks.”

“I did try, but Jeff told me to go fuck myself.” I didn’t know if he was joking. The quick smile on his lips disappeared as Harry looked at me. “And I wrote them for you, it’s only fair you get to listen to them.”

“Can I? Listen to it, I mean...” 

“As long as you don’t tell Jeff to pull it from the album, I think we can do that.”

“I promise I won’t.”

The few seconds he took to look for the song seemed like an eternity, that I spent with my heart pounding in my ears and my eyes fixed on his phone screen. There were tons of songs there, and while some had a proper title, most were named with just a word or a date. I watched him go to a list called FL, and there, he scrolled down to the bottom, before pressing play on a song named “Adore You”. 

As the first few notes started to play, I went quiet and let Harry pull me into a cuddle. Once again, I was lying next to him, with my head resting on his chest, and I could feel the steadiness of his heart, and the warm touch of his fingers as they pressed to my waist. 

“Walk in your rainbow paradise…”

His voice was rich and soothing and it made my heartache in a way I didn’t know it was capable of. I listened to it, focusing on the words and the melody. I wanted to decipher every bit of it, every intention, every hint, tear it apart, and build it up again second by second. 

Harry was smiling when I looked at him, almost shyly and apologetically, like telling me how sorry he was for putting me in the spotlight. 

But I loved it. 

“Play it again”, I whispered when the song came to an end, as I looked up at him. Harry smiled in satisfaction, a little cocky grin, as he put the song on repeat. He then shifted on the couch, sitting up so I could straddle him. His hands went to my back and held my waist as mine looped around his shoulders.

“Did you like it?” Harry managed to ask between my kisses, lips pressing softly to his own, his cheek, his jaw, his nose. 

“I did. I loved it,” I giggled as I looked for his neck to kiss him there. I wondered how many times we would listen to the song before I was satisfied. Many, I had to guess. 

“Good…” Harry smiled and broke the kiss apart to look at me in the eyes. “I love you, Sof.”

I froze, stopping my frantic mission to kiss every available inch of his body, and I slowly brought my hands to my lap, as I looked at him, forgetting how to breathe. 

“You don’t have to say it back,” Harry breathed with a light laugh. “I know you have feelings for Sam, so it’s ok if you have to think about it. I just wanted to let you know… I’m yours if you want me, Sof....and even if you don’t.”

“What…” I started, but words kept failing to form in my lips, just as much as they failed to organize coherently in my brain. There was so much I wanted to say, many things I could tell him, but instead, I pressed myself to him, hugging him tight to my body until our breaths mixed, and it wasn’t too clear whose heartbeat was louder. 

“It’s ok. It’s ok, Sof, you don’t have to say anything,” Harry whispered reassuringly, so I did the only thing I knew I could do, I kissed him. 

Right then, it was easy to see how everything had changed from the night before, or even a few minutes ago. Now his touch felt different, filled with the memories of the night before. He knew my body better than I did. It was his to explore, to taste, and touch, and he did so. Everything, including the kiss, was slow but intense, soft and sweet but so fucking hungry.  

“I love you, Sof.” I kept replaying it in my mind, with all of its letters, one by one. Like a gospel, a moment of prayer to calm the soul. 

Harry made his way down to my collarbones, and he trailed his kisses down to the valley of my chest, where he stopped, and let his fingers curl around the cups of my bra to push it down. The warmth on his breath rose goosebumps all over my skin and I moaned quietly as he wrapped his lips around my nipple and sucked on it. It felt so good, but still, anticipation was boiling in my tummy, demanding more. I wanted to feel his tongue, his warm breath, the drowned moans. I wanted them to echo down my body until I had no more choice but to cry out in pleasure. It was a delicious, bubbly feeling that clouded my mind, only leaving space for Harry.

I was so sensitive, all raw skin and prickly nerves, the slightest touch sent a shiver up my spine and made me arch my back and moan.

I was too aware of the light touch of his hand brushing down my stomach and sliding underneath my panties. I could see a flash of a smile before he went to pay attention to my other nipple, sucking harder on it as he grazed his finger around my clit. 

“Fuck,” I moaned, trying to relax as the sharp pain of my soreness took over my senses for just a second. But it didn’t escape Harry, who stopped right away to look at me with a worried glint in his eyes. 

“Are you sore, Sof?” He asked, and to my despair he pulled his hand away, placing it on my leg instead with a light squeeze. 

“A bit,” I said, almost apologetically. “But we can still do it.”

“It’s ok,” Harry smiled. “There’s no rush. We can just kiss.”

“We’re going back to L.A. tomorrow, and you’ll be off to London by the end of the week, so at least I’m in a rush. I’ve already wasted a lot of time.”

“So, what are you suggesting? That we should fuck non-stop now?”

“Yes!!” I laughed. “You should fuck me.”

“I want you to enjoy it,” Harry said and he hugged me closer to his chest. The sentiment was appreciated and I had no doubt he actually meant it, but that didn’t mean I had to make it easy for him. His tummy tightened as my fingers brushed over his tanned skin, the slight swell of his pecs, the muscles on his abs, and a low moan escaped his reluctant lips as I shifted on his lap, and rolled my hips for him. He was getting hard, maybe because of all of the feverish kisses we had shared, and I felt the sharp bite of his nails as they dug on the round of my ass. “So it feels good for you. It kinda hurts my ego if you don’t.” he smiled. His hands pressed tightly to my hips, stopping me from making any movement. “And I owe you one from last night.”

“I enjoyed last night, it was perfect.”

“Really?” Harry asked, his smiling lighting up his cute face when he looked at me. “I always thought our first time was gonna be fucking special, like a hotel in Paris looking at the tower, or something like that.”

“You thought about our first time?”

“I did, it got me through the nights,” he said. His touch had no urgency other than to feel me close and feel the warmth of my skin under the tips of his fingers. 

“Good to know I’m on your mind, then.”

“All the fucking time, didn’t you listen to the song?”

So engulfed we were in each other that we had missed the sound of the door opening or that of the soft steps that followed it.

“H, why did you change rooms? Listen, man, if I have to listen to Diana nag me because of you...oh, fuck! I’m sorry,” a male voice exclaimed, going from very confused and slightly annoyed to sincerely apologetic. I scrambled to the couch to cover myself with the pillows, while Harry remained seated, calmly looking at his friend. 

Jeff was holding what seemed like a bakery paper bag, and 4 tall coffees. He set them down on the little table in front of the couch and cleared his throat while he clearly avoided looking at me. Without saying a word, Harry stood up and walked to the room, and came back after he had dressed, and holding a shirt he offered to me. It only took him seconds, but it felt like an eternity, and Jeff and I were awkward enough to make it evident. 

“I thought you had left for L.A., Sof. Diana told me you did,” Jeff said, now that I had put on the shirt, and he was free to look at me. He sat down on one corner of the couch and picked up Harry’s phone to stop the music. The room felt too silent without it.

“I decided not to go.”

“Good,” he smiled. Both of us were looking at Harry, as he smiled at me. He was our only connection, after all, and I had a nagging feeling that Jeff did not like me all that much. “Does Diana know?”

“That I stayed?”

“With Harry, yeah,” Jeff pressed.

“I haven’t told her, no.”

“Ok, we might want to do that,” he smiled too kindly. I would have felt overwhelmed by the, how does the song go? Oh, yes, bad moon a-rising feeling of his words, but at that moment, Jeff leaned over the table and started fixing breakfast in front of us: buttery and flaky croissants, little pastries filled with chocolate and raspberries, cinnamon swirls and avocado and eggs toast. The sugary and buttery smell took over my well-intentioned anxiety. It kept me on top of things most of the time, never too surprised when things went wrong. 

“How many people did you invite for breakfast?” I asked him. 

“Well, Diana is coming. Yesterday she told me you were leaving and that you guys were probably moving on, so I told her to meet me this morning.”

“Moving on from what?” Harry asked his friend as he picked two croissants and offered me one. Mine had red stripes, so I guessed it must’ve had some kind of strawberry or raspberry filling. He picked a chocolate one for himself and set it apart on the table, grabbing a cup of coffee first. 

“I’m gonna take a wild guess, and say you, they’re moving on from you.”

The croissant was still warm and I held it in my hand like it was a war grenade, ready to blow off. Could I eat it? The short answer was no. The long answer was more complicated than that, but it also ended in a no. My tummy grumbled, it had been long since the last time I had really eaten or felt hungry, so it took me a couple of seconds to realize what was going on around me, like the fact that both Harry and Jeff were looking at me as if I was fucking crazy. Perhaps I was. 

“Are you having a meltdown over a croissant?” Harry asked, and the mocking hint that laced in his voice stung. Oh, he didn’t understand. 

“I’m on a diet, and I need to be because otherwise, they might not give me the role.”

“They already did, that’s why you’re training like a crazy person.”

“They can still say that I don’t look good in a latex suit, because who fucking does? And take the role away from me,” I tried explaining, as I leaned over the table to put the croissant down and pick a black coffee.

“They won’t,” Harry said as he picked it up back again and offered it to me. “I promise. You’re the queen right now, and everyone’s in love with you. And if they choose to take the role away from you, they’re assholes anyway,” he continued, with a sweet smile on his face. I took the napkin and leaned back on the couch as I took a bite out of the croissant.

“Good,” Jeff exclaimed, reminding us that we were not alone in the room. “Now, do we talk about Sofia wanting to move on, or do we just ignore it?”

“I, uh, I don’t want to move on.”

“Ok, so I’ll talk to Diana,” Jeff nodded. “I’ll do it soon, so you guys don’t have time to change your fucking minds.”

“Thanks, Jeff,” I smiled at him. He didn’t like me, oh, not at all, but he wasn’t doing it for me. So he shrugged, and took a pastry for himself, to eat it with his coffee. 

Maybe we had said Diana’s name too many times, because there she was, closing the door behind her. She couldn’t see me, but I saw her, with her green dress with white flowers on. She was holding a plastic bowl of fruit and a holder with 3 tall coffees and she walked into the room and towards us without noticing me. When she did, a frown etched between her brows, and her eyes danced from Harry to me.

“You didn’t leave. Good, we need to talk.” Diana said as if nothing could surprise her anymore. She walked to me and picked up the piece of croissants I had left in my hands and put them down on the table, before she sat down next to Jeff, with a bright, satisfied smile on her face. “You can’t eat that. Actually, we might need to go even more strict. Dior wants you for their new campaign and Rihanna is wondering if you’d like to model some underwear. I said yes to both.” She waited for the ovation. I could see that she was holding herself from clapping in excitement. But we all remained silent, and she slowly calmed herself down, looking at me as if I was the one that didn’t understand, which was a fair assumption; I didn’t understand. 

“It means people know you can sell, Sof. We can ask for more money. We can ask you to be one of the top earners in the Marvel Universe. The top earner in every other movie you make,” she said, giddily. “Now, Dior wants you to shoot their campaign with one of their most iconic dresses. It’s a size zero, and they’ll stretch it to a size two, a tight one. So, we need to cut down a bit.”

A bit. 

“Why don’t they just stretch it a little more?” Harry asked. 

“Because it’s an iconic dress, I just said it, Harry,” Diana snapped. 

“That’s bullshit, Diana,” Harry said, and even though he was smiling, there was a hint of anger in his voice. He was annoyed and he didn’t feel like hiding it. 

“Oh, you think you know what us women…”

I couldn’t take it. I knew I should have said something, perhaps side with Harry and tell Diana that I wasn’t interested, but it was all too much. So I did what I know how to do best: I got up and left, walking to my room to hide from both of them and closing the door behind me. I sat on the corner of the bed and let out a shaky sigh. I wasn’t alone for too long. Harry entered the room and he cautiously walked to me and sat down by my side. The bed wobbled a little and I looked at him for a second before going back to look down to the floor.  

“Are you ok, love?” He asked. 

“I just started having sex,” I said. 

“I am aware,” he replied. 

“So, all of this talk about my body...it fucking sucks, especially because you’re there and you can listen to all of it, and…”

“And what?”

“Realize I don’t look good in a catsuit.”

“Do you want to see me in a catsuit? I don’t think I’d look good either,” He offered, and I laughed, despite everything, because that was the thing about Harry, he made everything better. 

“Would you put on a catsuit for me?” 

“I’d do anything for you, Sof...Come with me to London, let’s forget about this whole thing.”

“I can’t, H. I have to train and follow this diet, and be camera ready.”

“I promise I’ll keep you busy,” he said.

“Yeah? How?”

He did exactly what I expected him to do, he kissed me, his fingers pressing softly to the back of my neck, while his tongue swept my bottom lip. It was a lavish kiss, slow and intense. It made me forget that there were people in the other room, and to shift on the bed until I was sitting on his lap, with my legs on each side of his body. His hands started their journey on the upper part of my back, under my shirt, and he ran the tip of his fingers down the length of my spine. Every inch of skin he touched set on fire and reminded me how alive I was and all that I was capable of feeling because of him. 

“Please,” I muttered against his lips as his fingers got to the round of my ass, and he dug them and kneaded on my skin. 

“Please what?” He smiled. 

“Please whatever you want…”

“You need me, baby?”

“I need you, I want you…”

“Can you be quiet for me?” 

“Yes, I can try. Please.”

****

The plot thickens: Harry Styles and Sofia Welsh were seen leaving his hotel in Nashville together, where the singer was staying after he performed in Kacey Musgraves’ concert. The stars, who haven’t confirmed the status of their relationship, went out to grab lunch with a group of friends, including Musgraves herself, and then left for the airport together. 

This outing comes as a disappointment for Logan Lerman fans, who have started shipping him with the actress, as they are both set to work together in Amazon’s new show...