#now ill make some 2001 a//so art and comic and i have other ideas for this au

[lilpuffyart]

Finally! It's done!! AU where, after a surprise attack from one of the other two AMs, the Yankee AM, using a body he built himself, manages to run away in the short period his computer is turned off for repairs. The supercomputer, now in a smaller body, finds himself hiding in an apartment, so he can experience life.

[fmdsohee]

older, wiser, prettier

date: various, december 4th 1998,  2001, 2006, 2011, 2018 word count: 2170 triggers: emotionally abusive parenting, neglectful parenting, general shitty parenting, underage drinking,  forced drinking, abandonment, general terrible family  notes: me?? being literally like twenty fucking days late on her birthday solo ( it was meant for dec 4th but whatever i dont give a shit ) ?? yes, of course because indeed, i, am terrible, in fact, this is terrible and none of y’all should read it, i’m only posting it bc i won’t let myself not do it.

1998, age one. she spends her first birthday crying.

she was never a quiet baby. when she was first set into her mother’s arms by the nurses, she was crying; she cried through the nights from when she got home into the empty estate. her room is white, adorned with lace and silk, toys and it looks like a showroom – the perfect “socialite’s first baby room” for her mother to giggle about to her friends, show off as she barely takes a glance over the infant dozing in the bed. adjacent to her parents’ room, close enough to be heard, far enough for her not be seen, like most of the problems in the son family.

“come on,” it’s two in the morning, her mother, usually polished and a gushing smile on her face, was tired, “i don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

“she’s hungry, i don’t know, why don’t you feed her?” her father was skulking in the corner, head in his hands as she slumped over in the pristine rocking chair in the corner of the room.

“i already tried, she’s not hungry – she always does this, i don’t know what to do.”

“then work it out,” he lights a cigarette in the corner of the room, drawing in and out without a thought, “i don’t know what you want me to do – move her into one of the other rooms, i would like to sleep – do you think creativity stems from this? do you think i can write another best seller if i never get any sleep? what do you expect from me – you can’t keep walking around pretending you’re even something without money rolling in; even your body’s gone after her.”

her mother didn’t even react to his words – it was normal. “as if you’re the peak of creativity – you’ve been writing the same thing for years.”

“as if you know anything, you’ve made a living of being on your back.”

“i’ve made a living out of working hard, unlike you, how about you actually release something if you’re such a bestseller and stop pretending you’re some starving artist locked away in your study.”

“i’ll stop locking myself in the study when the baby’s gone and you’ve decided to stand there and look good again, quietly.”

“oh, but you’re fine to get yourself out of the room when the cleaner comes over, or the cook, or any of the other young women that seem to come and go a little richer than their contract.”

“shut up,” her father grumbled, “not exactly like you’ve held up well.”

“how about w-“

the two were cut off by the loud cry of their daughter.

“i’m leaving.” with a few slams of doors, her father left.

and her mother was alone, eyes shifting around the sickly room to her daughter.

“you better be worth it.”

and she left the room with her daughter crying out, far enough that she didn’t have to think about her for a second.

2001, age four. she spends her fourth birthday on stage.

she’s been dressed up like a doll: the dress is bright pink, puffy and encompasses all of her; her face felt tacky, sticky, and was covered in heavy makeup; and her eyes can barely stay open. she’s spent the hours of the morning walking around in circles, her feet ached, and she’d made a picture perfect routine.

before she could walk, she had been in beauty pageants, her mother was trying to shill her to industry connections to get her into ads and modelling jobs; sohee hated it. she screamed at her mother, she cried all the time, but it didn’t stop it, so eventually little sohee learned to deal with it.

her friends had teased her relentlessly the days before, playing in the park with wide smiles ( sohee hadn’t even noticed her father had sulked off instead of watching her ) before they started poking fun at her for not having a birthday party; they didn’t mean it, they were young, barely enough to know anything but they’d all been able to have parties, so why not her? sohee had ran home, tugging at her mother’s dress, and she just shook her head. she woke up on her birthday early to practice, nothing else was new.

she smiled, she twirled, she sang, and she got some stupid crown at a no name beauty pageant.

she went home a winner, and her mother yelled at her for her foot placement.

2006, age nine. she spends her ninth birthday lost in the woods.

her father’s writing process was something he called an art, it was something that her mother called stupid and a waste of time, sohee never even noticed any sort of backwards routine before her ninth birthday. one of his writing rituals included packing his bags, getting on a plane and flying out to a woodland cabin across the pond to “cleanse his thoughts” and that time, much to his dismay, chipper, young sohee was along for the ride.

she’s gleeful the entire way there, and it gives her father a headache, but she doesn’t notice. the car’s silent apart from her remarks as it always was. he didn’t have much to say to her, but with what ran through his mind it was better that way. she doesn’t know how to communicate with the people there, she knows how to ask basic questions and greetings, but when her father has short conversations with those they meet at pit stops, sohee stands there by his side wide eyed and confused.

the house isn’t the rustic, cold and damp place that bleeds information as he pretends it is – it’s a vacation home, without a doubt. and when they walk in, it looks like the type of extravagant place that families in movies sohee’s seen come to get together for christmas celebrations before slapstick chaos. but when her dad went into his office and slammed the door, she felt so cold.

she spends three days sitting around the house, flicking through magazines and watching dvds that she’d packed with her. and then her birthday rolls around, and it’s more of the same – her father’s locked away in his office smoking up a house fire and barely touching pen to paper and she’s pacing around the house pouting and crying that she hasn’t heard happy birthday once.

the hands on the clock hit five and little sohee decides that she’s had enough with all of this. shoelaces hastily tied, a backpack stuffed with her favourite stuffed animals for company and snacks for the trip – she decides that she’s going to have an adventure by herself if no one else wants to have fun with her.

it’s a few hours before she realises that she has no idea where she is, and the cold air starts to brush harshly over her skin. she’d not thought to bring any sort of torch, or even a warm jacket, with her mind clouded for a want to simply do something cool – and now she’d been trekking through the woods into the breaking hour of the night. and she was scared.

she’s out there for around three more hours, sitting herself atop of a log crying before by luck a group of hikers come by her, patient with her lack of understanding, and comfort her before leading her back to her father’s house without a hitch. she’s so thankful, she tries her best to talk to them, she exclaims that it’s her birthday in the best way that they can understand, and she makes it back inside. she tries to get them to stay, but they just smile at her, and wish her a good night – they try to speak with her father, but he doesn’t even answer the door.

cold and exhausted, sohee decides to end her birthday as quick as she can when she gets inside.

her father checks on her to say one thing,

“why did you track mud through the house? can’t you do something right?”

2011, age fourteen. on her fourteenth birthday, she decides that she’s grown up.

her parents decide to make some ill fated attempt to go to dinner on her birthday, but she doesn’t care, the most acknowledgement she gets of the day is that her mother makes some offhanded comment about how many years she’s been suffering because of her. in all truth, sohee’s happeir that they’re out of the house – she skips going to her training that night, she calls it a gift to herself.

so she does what she thinks the grown ups do, she reaches up to her father’s liquor cabinet and she pours herself a comically full glass of whiskey – it’s her first drink, she just wants to feel cool, grown up, independent. she takes one sip and she decides she’s done, and then she sets the glass down coughing up the fire in her throat.

“what are you doing?” her mother’s voice cut through the air, and sohee’s heart skipped a beat.

“nothing,” sohee dismissed, curtly, her chest pounding with anxiety, “i thought you’d be gone for the night, i believe you said that you couldn’t stand the reminder of me being born, or whatever.”

“doesn’t seem like nothing,” her mother hummed, glass now in hand and examining it like something priceless, her gaze practically cutting through it back through to her daughter, “your father was getting along with the waitress, i left them to it.”

that didn’t even dignify a response from sohee, who instead huffed, shrugged, and returned to a point of apathy.

“drink it.” her mother sits the glass in front of sohee. she’s confused.

“what?”

“i just said drink it, you poured it, and you’ll finish it.”

“i don’t want to – it tastes shitty, and you can’t tell me what to do.”

“i can,” her mother is completely unbothered by sohee’s argument, “want your tuition paid? want to continue to live somewhere? you’ll finish it.”

“i can’t,” she knows she can’t, she already feels sick to the stomach.

“i didn’t raise a quitter,” her mother’s tone is harsh, firm.

and so sohee drinks it, raises the liquor that burns like fire to her lips and takes a drink. but it’s not enough.

“the entire thing.” her mother states again.  

so she does, it’s every drink makes her feel sick to her stomach – it’s an overwhelming type of sickness that she’s never felt before, her stomach a ship at storm, and then she runs off to the bathroom. she barely catches her mother’s content smile, before a sigh.

she spends the rest of the night curled over the toilet.

2018, age twenty one. it’s her first birthday as an idol.

she doesn’t really celebrate birthdays anymore, ever since she spent the fifteenth birthday holed up in her school library – which she considered the best day that she’d had up until that birthday – acknowledging it just felt better to her than acknowledging she was an entire year older.

but she turns around in the morning, eyes barely open and her hands reach out for her phone.

━━ [ 💌 pretty flower sooyeon 🌺 ] : my sohee!!!! ━━ [ 💌 pretty flower sooyeon 🌺 ] : happy birthday~ ━━ [ 💌 pretty flower sooyeon 🌺 ] : i hope your wishes will come true and u will have the greatest birthday ever!!!!!!!!!!! ━━ [ 💌 pretty flower sooyeon 🌺 ] : lmk if gold star ever gets too much 4 u and u need 2 hide in the wish dorms i'll call u my emotional support human

she smiles, she doesn’t quite know how to respond to the message – and she notices that there’s more notifications behind it – she rarely ever told people the day she was born in high school to avoid any hype around it for bad memories sake but now, her chest feels gentle, and she’s smiling from ear to ear. she makes a note to respond to it later, when it’s processed for her.

so she walks out into her kitchen and she sees seunghee standing there, a huge, motherly grin on her face that she’s grown to adore seeing on her close friend. “what’s got you smiling like that?” she questions, pacing around the room.

“i have something for you,” the leader shifted to the side, a dainty, well decorated cake sitting behind her on the counter. “it’s for you, a you’re getting old signal,” she laughed, bringing over the cake to be in front of sohee, “i’m only kidding, happy birthday.”

the leader rushed to shove a candle into it, “i know we’re going to have to go soon, so i’m going to do this now,” she lit it up, “now make a wish.”

it’s the first birthday cake she’s ever had, and she doesn’t quite know how to approach it. so she doesn’t make a wish, but instead she just smiles and blows out the flame.

it’s her first happy birthday

.

[anarchonerdism]

Class of 2001

I have a lot of nostalgia for the year 2001, for good or ill.  There were a lot of songs and albums that I still love released that year.  I joined an art site for the first time, which made me start really thinking of myself as an artist.  I went through a number of other personally significant events that year as well.  It's also when most of the characters I'm about to talk about were first created, even if only barely.I've never been very good at putting a character's personality into words.  Judging by some of the bio attempts on my old websites, I probably shouldn't try anyway.  Or, if I do, I should at least take a "less is more" approach to it.  As such, this is more a reflection on their origins and development than who they are as characters.WWF No Mercy was also pretty much my game of choice for most of that year so don’t be surprised if you see a few wrestling references/terms pop up here and there.

ADRIAN ("LOKO"): Basically, he was created to be my avatar character.  He's third in a line of kinda similar characters dating back to at least 1998, and the first drawings of him may date to late 2000, so putting him in a “2001″ class is a bit debatable.  That said, he was also one of the few characters I had when I first joined VCL, which is the main crux of this idea.  In early 2002, when I started claiming straight-edge, he gained X's on his hands as a permanent design feature, which have persisted in my webcomics despite never being discussed.  Also, he started out as looking clearly male but became more androgynous over time.  This made a few "straight" guys question themselves, and also led to him being mistaken for a girl on a few occasions.

ALANNA: I created her mainly as a female counterpart to Adrian.  She was a possible love interest at one point but, after I started questioning my own sexuality, I wanted Adrian to have a boyfriend instead.  When I was getting ready to do my first webcomic in 2003, I still wanted them to have some sort of connection in the new continuity.  How I arrived at "adopted sister," I still don't know.  It also made my earliest drawings of them VERY awkward in retrospect, even if my various projects are usually considered alternate universes of each other.

ROD: His presence is also a bit dubious since he dates back to the late 90s, but we'll go with it since he was also prominent in those first uploads.  He was basically my main antagonist character and so was designed to represent things I despised.  Being an "outsider" high school kid this basically meant he was a prep/jock asshole.  As I got older, though, he eventually evolved into a corporate asshole instead.  Being named Rod Thorne is also apt since he's supposed to be a total prick, even if the name was a gradual evolution.

BASTIAN: Based on my best friend Jason, with some input from him.  The first few sketches had him as a lion (mostly inspired by a fairly badass picture I'd found) but he said he'd rather be a rabbit.  I don't remember if there was a reason for that, nor for the name, but here we are now.  He kinda faded into the background for a while after high school, though, since we weren't seeing as much of each other and I also had all these other new characters to draw anyway.  As such, he's the only member of this group (not counting certain "honorable mentions") that wasn't included in that first webcomic.

JEREMY: Late one night, inspiration struck for a poem.  I wanted to share it on VCL but, being mainly an art site, I had to make up a character to go with it.  He was only supposed to be in that one drawing since the subject of the poem dies at the end, but for some reason he stuck around.  I think it was mostly due to having so few characters otherwise.  I'm really glad he stayed, though, since I've developed an odd connection with him over time.  It's even at the point where he's replaced Adrian as my avatar character on some sites.  Not bad for a one-off.

BAILEY: He barely squeaks into this class, being created some time around that Christmas.  Put simply, I felt like making a character named after the password from Metroid.  He has a mullet because I'd decided mullets were funny.  Also, he kind of turned into a butt monkey for a period.  Probably as an extension of that whole "mullet" thing.  Most of the drawings of his anthro form had him as a lion but the first few drawings had him as a tiger.  Having to draw all those stripes in addition to all that hair does make for a messy design, though, so the change was made pretty quickly.

TRENT: In early 2001, I'd written a wrestling "supercard" event using No Mercy.  In it, there's a one-line reference to a character named "Yiff Daddy."  At some point later on, I felt like drawing him.  Further down the line, I was doing an RP chat with someone one night and worked him into it.  Since it was a "backstage" scenario, I gave him a real name: Trent (from Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails).  For some reason I also decided he was Asian, though I don't remember why.  He's been through countless name changes since, and has also been the character I've had the hardest time getting a handle on (especially after the shift away from furries) as far as characterization goes.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

RISC: This guy is VERY loosely inspired by an internet friend I had at the time.  He's been one of my favorite CAWs since I created him and yet I’ve never really drawn him that much.  Oh well.

RAZOR: As much as I’d like to include her, she barely misses the 2001 cutoff.  She's loosely based on Razor from Maniac Mansion, which I had finally gotten to play in 1999 or 2000.  Since I was also getting into punk rock then, she quickly became my favorite character.  As such, I feel like I must have at least based a CAW on her at some point in 2001.  The first actual drawing of her didn't get uploaded until January of 2002, though, which is still during my senior year like the rest but isn't exactly "in" 2001.  Plus, all this being said, she didn't really come into her own as a character until I redesigned her in 2005 anyway.

RICK: I debated whether to put him here or the main group.  I mean, in 2001, I had a shameless Right To Censor knockoff called Richard Stevens running around, and that character did morph into Rick Knoll.  That was in late 2002, though, and it's such a total reinvention that you wouldn't know the one sprang from the other.  Plus, while he was supposed to have kind of an important role in that first webcomic, he never got to play it out because the comic was plagued and eventually killed by technical problems.  If Razor, who actually did become an important character later, only made it in as an honorable mention, Rick should probably be here as well.  He's a "what could have been" character in some ways, but that's also probably giving him more importance than he merited.