#now if you’ll all excuse me I’m going to go finish crying about dwarves

[dark-elf-writes]

I had a Dr. Pepper and am normal again.

[omgkatsudonplease]

[ficlet, bagginshield] feeling exceptional (bridgerton au)

The Great Smials Assembly is in Tuckborough, which means for Bilbo that it’s little more than a glorified family reunion. All of his various aunts and uncles push and pull at him when he arrives, wishing him good luck in his courtship with the King of Erebor. Gandalf, staying at the Great Smials on an invitation from Thain Fortinbras II, looks especially insufferable every time someone hopes to be invited to the Royal wedding. 

“He hasn’t proposed yet,” Bilbo grumbles whenever it does.

“But surely he’s on the very verge of it!” gasps Aunt Donnamira, clutching at her chest. “Gandalf says he’s never seen two creatures on Eru’s green Arda look at each other with such devotion. If he doesn’t marry you, he’s a fool!”

Well, then, we are both fools, Bilbo does not say. King Thorin is a fool for letting such a fanciful Hobbit pretend to be his, and he is a fool for squandering this opportunity not to look for his true love.

Still, something strange burns at him, deep inside. He’s felt it all this while, over all of these weeks of lies and pretences slowly becoming wishes and truths. Thorin is nothing like the brusque Dwarf-king he had first met at the Party Field Dance, nothing like the cold statue barely making conversation with him at Gandalf’s surprise dinner. Bilbo has seen through the outermost layers of him —rather literally at one point, during the Brandywine River Promenade — and he has to admit, he likes what he sees.

And liking what he sees is the last thing he needs, because they had agreed to avoid just that. They had agreed not to fall in love. 

“Bilbo!” He is jerked out of his thoughts by a familiar cheerful voice. His cousin Primula comes barreling at him with ungraceful fervour, pulling up short just as he braces himself for impact. He finds himself curtsied to first before being squished into one of her overenthusiastic hugs. Clearly the etiquette lessons were not taking root with her at all. “Bilbo, Bilbo, you’re here! And I’m here! I had to go to Fornost earlier in the month so I missed the Promenade but I’m here! And I got permission to attend this ball! And Mama is going to lower my hems soon so I can debut in a year or two!”

“Prim! Calm down!” exclaims Bilbo. The young Hobbit-lass bounces in reply, the ribbons in her hair shining with each toss of her thick, dark curls. “What was that about a trip to Fornost?” 

“Mama and Papa took us to Fornost for the spas,” says Primula happily, holding him out at arm’s length to examine him more closely. “Now I’ve missed all the excitement. I heard you’re going to be a Dwarf Consort!”

“I’m not going to be a Dwarf Consort,” scoffs Bilbo, before quickly catching himself and tacking on a hasty, “yet. He hasn’t asked me to marry him.”

“Oh, but I hope he does,” gushes Primula. “It would be so romantic!”

“You’re taking cues from Auntie Donnamira, I see,” says Bilbo, spinning her around in circles. “Are you sure you can behave yourself tonight?”

“It’s just dancing,” scoffs Primula. “I promise not to tread on Cousin Sigismond’s feet again. I promise.”

Bilbo snorts. “All right, Prim. And what’s this about your mother letting you debut soon? Aren’t you still in your tweens?”

“Yeah, but all of my sisters are gone and married,” replies Primula, pouting. “And if I enter society, I get to go to all the parties with you! It’s been no fun being cooped up in Brandy Hall being told to go to bed just before the party guests arrive, you know.”

Bilbo remembers a ball at Brandy Hall during one of his earlier seasons, catching Primula in her nightgown by the doorway into the ballroom. He’d taken her out into the gardens and told her stories until she got drowsy. She’s grown up faster than his beansprouts since then, her childhood roundness briefly interrupted by tweenhood gangliness. And now here she is in a lengthened evening-gown, her eyes bright and ribbons woven into her cloud of dark hair. 

Bilbo feels immeasurably old beside her. With any luck, she’ll be declared the rose of the season the year she is presented to the Queen of Arnor, and, just like her sisters, she’ll be swept off her feet by some strapping Hobbit-lad and sent off to her happily ever after. 

And Bilbo will remain here, forever picky, forever searching. Possibly even lamenting the events of this year, and what could have been.

The refreshments are laid out, the band is arrayed to the side, and the first couples begin to form a line for the first dance of the night. Bilbo looks at Primula fiddling excitedly with her dance card, and gestures to it with a grin.

“Do you mind so terribly if your favourite cousin had your first dance?” he asks.

“Bold of you to assume you’re my favourite cousin,” replies Primula, but she’s smiling nonetheless, extending her wrist out to him. He signs for the first dance, before taking her out to join the other dancers lining up on the floor. 

The first dance is a reel in which the leading couple weaves their way through groups of three couples at a time. This means that Bilbo and Primula have a great deal of time standing still, waiting for their turn, and so Primula breaks the silence again with a devious grin. 

“I heard Mr Gladden has finally left town,” she says. “Something about his grandmother’s failing health. He’s gone back to the Greenwood.”

Bilbo exhales. “Good for him,” he says. “I feel terrible for saying that, but I don’t think I will miss him one bit.”

“I’ve never met him, but lots of people said it was about time,” agrees Primula. “He must have been quite the stinker.”

“I would be the last person in Arda to judge someone for being odd,” muses Bilbo, “but besides being odd he was rude. No sense of boundaries.”

“If only other people would get the hint.” Primula tosses her head towards Miss Bracegirdle, who had just joined the line with Otho Sackville-Baggins. Bilbo scoffs.

“For someone who isn’t in society yet, you certainly know a lot about the people hounding me,” he remarks. 

“Just because I’m not in society doesn’t mean I can’t read Lord Stormcrow,” replies Primula with a sly grin. “He’s had a lot to say about you two. Because of him, there’s now a betting pool between the Master, the Thain, and the Mayor for when King Thorin will propose!”

Bilbo feels like he’s been doused in cold water. “What a bunch of nosy busybodies,” he declares, just as the lead couple gets to them and they start to link arms and circle with them. 

“Well, of all the Dwarves of Arda, I suppose a Dwarf-king isn’t a bad choice for the head of the Baggins family,” muses Primula once they meet up again and the lead couple has moved on down the line. “I never liked the Bracegirdle option, if you cared to know my thoughts on it. I mean, it is the respectable choice, but she’s clearly more interested in being Mistress of Bag End than your wife.”

Bilbo chuckles. “Whatever happened to little Prim?” he wonders. “The one who crashed the Brandybuck Ball in her nightgown and listened to my stories of butterflies and dumbledoors in the garden until she fell asleep?”

“Well, it’s because of your stories that I know you wouldn’t marry someone unless they made you perfectly and incandescently happy,” Primula points out. 

“You make me perfectly and incandescently happy, too, and I have no plans to marry you,” Bilbo replies.

“That’s because you’re ancient Cousin Bilbo,” says Primula matter-of-factly, “and all I want for ancient Cousin Bilbo is someone who will make him smile his happy smile, not his brave one.” 

Bilbo wants to chalk everything she’s saying up to simple tweenhood twitterpated nonsense, but the words fly out of his head the moment he catches a glimpse of familiar blue. The music hushes into an awed murmur, as dancers and other guests alike stop and turn to see Thorin’s arrival at the Assembly. Bilbo dimly feels Primula dropping his hands as she turns to see the Dwarf-king, her small gasp of delight echoing deep in his heart. 

The first time Bilbo had read the Lay of Leithian, he had been struck by the verses depicting the meeting of Beren Erchamion and Lúthien Tinúviel. Deep within the woods of Doriath, the fateful meeting of those two had been a dance, a chase, a cry, a capitulation. As Bilbo read, he had wondered, dimly, if one day he would ever experience a captivation so thorough as what Beren had felt when he first watched Lúthien dancing in the forest grove.

Now, as he sees Thorin enter in his dark-blue tailcoat and white cravat, with the beads of the line of Durin shining starlike in his hair, Bilbo understands. 

The reel quickly finishes after that, allowing Bilbo to turn to Primula. “I could make an introduction,” he offers.

Primula opens her mouth to accept, before catching sight of someone else in the crowd. “Oh, your cousin Drogo wants to see me,” she says, winking mischievously at him. “Some other time? Maybe when you two have come to an understanding?” 

And with that, she scampers off into the crowd, leaving Bilbo alone in confronting the Dwarf-king he’s not actually supposed to be courting. Clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, Bilbo steps forward and pushes through the crowd of girls clamouring for Thorin to sign their dance cards. 

“There you are.” Thorin’s wintry expression thaws the moment he sees Bilbo. “Have you come to rescue me?” 

“Am I your excuse not to dance?” wonders Bilbo drily as he reaches Thorin’s side, forcibly squashing down the fluttering in his stomach. “I thought the goal of this was to improve your manners, not give you an out.”

“No, it was to improve my image,” replies Thorin, “and as you can see  —” He gestures to the gaggle of Hobbit-lasses arguing with one another nearby, “it worked.”

Bilbo huffs in amusement. “Apparently it worked too well. There are wagers set up about when you’ll propose.” 

Thorin raises an eyebrow at that, but does not say anything one way or the other. “Which two dances shall we have tonight?” he asks. 

Every dance, Bilbo wants to say, but even a third dance might as well be a proposal in and of itself as far as the Shire is concerned. Instead, when the next Hobbit-lass comes up to the two of them for a dance, he merely checks her card and politely declines a spot, before turning to watch Thorin do the same. 

“The Petty-skirt,” he suggests, “and the Springle-ring.” 

Thorin’s eyes crinkle amusedly at him. “Promise you will not run from the Springle-ring?” he teases.

Bilbo chuckles. “I would never,” he replies, just as the music for the first figure of the Petty-skirt begins to play. “Come on,” he says, offering his hand to Thorin. “Let’s dance.”

And for the rest of that night, he takes no other partner. Lord Stormcrow will note upon it, of course, crowing in his next pamphlet that surely an understanding is on the horizon for the two of them. 

In the meantime, Bilbo dances the night away in Thorin’s arms, and his mind is full of nothing but nightingales and the exquisite pain of being perfectly, incandescently happy. 

[edda-blattfe]

You are absolutely amazing!!! Can you do more on how the boys would react to the movies?

Daaaww, thank you, darlin’! *cackcles maliciously* I will gladly do so! 😆

(I’ll just do the house leaders for now. If y’all want me to do any of the other characters send in an ask and I'll be happy to answer.)

Alice in Wonderland

- “What even is this movie?” -Leona, before falling asleep on Mal’s shoulder. He woke up at the end when Alice was getting chased down and had no clue what was going on.

- Almost everyone is confused, except for Riddle and Kalim. Those two are oddly invested in this film.

- For whatever reason, Riddle just does not like Alice from the very beginning. Maybe it’s the “know-it-all” attitude or that she’s completely hopeless in a world that makes perfect sense. Whatever it is, he won’t stop glaring at the animated girl and muttering insults towards her at every opportunity.

- Azul had to stop himself from questioning the movie’s logic. There is no logic, just absolute madness.

- Every time the Queen yells “off with their head” Riddle giggles....it’s getting kinda creepy tbh.

- Kalim is the only one who liked the “it was all a dream” ending. Riddle was disappointed that little blonde brat didn’t get her head lopped off. Meanwhile, everyone else was just glad it was over.

The Little Mermaid

- The movie’s opening sequence actually grabbed everyone’s attention immediately! Even Idia found himself swaying along to the music while Kalim and Azul hummed the tune.

- Vil is surprisingly enthralled with the animation and underwater backgrounds. The artists must have poured so much effort into their craft to create such beautiful scenery, he can’t help but admire it!

- Azul finds Ariel interesting. Her naivety makes her weak, yet she has such a fiery spirit gives her a streangth he can’t help but admire.

- Ariel: I’m 16 years old, I’m not a child!

Kalim: You tell him, girl!

Riddle: Yeah!

Leona: *scoffing* Kids.

- *Fletsum and Jetsum show up on screen*

Leona: Hey, it’s Jade and Floyd!

Azul: *does a trouble take* ...They do look similar, don’t they?

- Azul was the only one who felt the ending should’ve been different. After all, Ursula was only trying to keep her contract! Why should she be punished for that?

Aladdin

- Another great opening. The desert scenery has Kalim jumping in his seat as it reminds him of home, he even tries to sing along to “Arabian Nights” despite not knowing the lyrics. A month from now he’ll be annoying Jamil with the little ear worm.

- Leona wolf whistled the moment Jasmine appeared on screen AND I SHIT YOU NOT, KALIM PUNCHED THAT CAT WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT AND IT ACTUALLY HURT A LITTLE!!! HE WASN’T EVEN SMILING IT WAS SO FREAKING WEIRD!!! KID WAS ACTUALLY ANGRY, WTF?!?!?! But then they found out she was 15 in the movie...Vil went ahead and smacked the back of Leona’s head for good measure.

- Iago really grew on Idia. How could the underground sass master not love that salty bird?

- Azul: If you had three wishes-

Riddle: Don’t you dare finish that question! You’ll just use our answers to try and cut a deal in the future.

Azul: How do you know I wasn’t genuinely curious?.......Pft! No, never mind. Not even I can believe that!

- Malleus does not understand why all of the protagonists are getting married when they’re literally children. But whatever.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

- Leona fell asleep again during the opening credits. That’s what happens when you open up with soothing music and no animation.

- Snow really doesn’t strike Vil as a significant character, she lacks any sort of spunk and just looks like a child. Yet, she’s the fairest in the land? He swears the mirror must be lying. It has to be of the Queen thought she was the fairest in that outfit!

- Malleus: Isn’t that your throne?

Vil: You’re thinking of the Pomefiore throne, certainly looks like it. It is an heirloom passed down from the Fair Queen herself. The artists truly captured it’s splendor, I’m impressed!

- Azul was impressed by the huntsman’s ruse to fool the Queen, it was quick thinking on his part. Also gave him time to get out of dodge before she found out the truth. Too bad she didn’t respect his convictions, he would’ve made a great ally.

- Kalim: I wish animals would come when I sing.

Idia: I-it’s probably not as fun as you think...imagine the noise they’d make.

- And just like that, Grumpy becomes Riddle’s favorite Disney character after the Queen of Hearts.

- After the hag’s death scene, Vil is visibly shook. Like he just saw his life flash before his eyes and it was ugly as the witch.

- Everyone is confused when the prince just carries Snow off without saying anything. Not a word! Is that really ok? Isn’t she like 14?

The Lion King

- Malleus actually found himself admiring Mufasa. Not only did he strike him as a competent ruler, but also a responsible father. The only thing our fairy king can fault him for is allowing his brother so much freedom. If he had done something, anything, his family and kingdom wouldn’t have had to endure all of that suffering.

- Simba’s cocky attitude kinda got on the Savanaclaw leader’s nerves at first, but the kid slowly grew on him. How many kids could force themselves to permanently leave home, much less run through a desert until they faint from exhaustion? Points for determination. Then he grew up into a totally chill dude with no cares, no responsibilities, or worries? What Leona wouldn’t do for that! Was really disappointed when Simba chose to leave his carefree lifestyle in order to save the kingdom that was already in ruins. He could kinda understand why the kid would choose that, but come on! That boy really had it good and Scar was bound to die at some point, why not wait until then? Leona doesn’t say it, but he thinks Scar would’ve actually liked his nephew if he’d only stop obsessing over the kingship and got to know him a little.

- *Grown up Nala enters scene*

Leona: Well, someone grew into a fine huntress~

Vil: She’s a lion. An actual, quadrupedal lion. No human aspects whatsoever.

Leona: Your point is?

Idia: S-she is...kinda pretty...

The other leaders: .......

Idia: *goes back into his emo corner* never mind....forget I said anything...

- You know that scene where Simba pins Nala down and she totally gave him the bedroom eyes? Yeah, Kalim and Riddle weren’t allowed to see any of that. The parents Vil and Azul immediately covered their eyes. WTF Disney, isn’t this supposed to be a kids movie?!?! It didn’t help that Leona kept jokingly telling Simba to “get some”.

- The hulla scene has inspired Scarabia’s next party. The other leaders are already placing bets on how Jamil will react to the news.

- Scar being slaughtered by his Hyena army is gonna haunt Leona for the rest of his life.

Hercules

- Azul is LIVING for the muses’ musical numbers.

- Idia doesn’t like how “bright” Hercules is. He’s just way too optimistic for our gloomy boy’s taste.

- Riddle: That’s the underworld? It looks like the Ignihyde dormitory!

Idia: Which is exactly why it’s perfect!

- *Megara shows up*

Leona: That girl is bad news.

Riddle: She’s the love interest, she can’t be bad news.

Leona: Kid, I have experience with women. Girls like that always have an ulterior motive.

*a few minutes later, when Hades shows up*

Leona: I should’ve put money on that bet.

- The more famous Hercules gets in the movie, the more Idia low key hates him.

- Kalim actually started crying when Megara died. He cheered up when Hercules saved and delivered her soul, but that was a rough few minutes for the kid.

Sleeping Beauty

- *Maleficent does her thing with the curse*

Kalim: The witch cursed Aurora just cause she didn’t get an invite? WHO DOES THAT?!?!

Malleus: You wouldn’t?

Kalim: ........

the other leaders: *Concerned*

Malleus: Flora wanted to turn her into a flower. At least Maleficent gave her a chance to live!

- Without having to say a single word, the boys unanimously agree that Flora is the absolute worst. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

- Something about Aurora caused Malleus to go perfectly quiet....it was a little unsettling. He watched her scenes with cold, distant eyes. It was almost as if he were watching a ghost.

- Leona almost fell off the sofa upon hearing Mal softly sing along to “Once Upon a Dream.” No one was expecting him of all people to sing something so romantic. It didn’t sound too bad, to be honest.

- If anyone liked the end of the movie they were too scared to say so. Mal’s aura had grown oppressive within the span of the film. He promptly excused himself during the credits and didn’t come out of his room until he next day.

[robertdowneyhiddlesbatch]

3. Routine

chapter warnings: runaway child; character injured in a fight

Life in dwarftown soon returned to normal. Thorin went back to work a day later, having made proper arrangements for his nephews. He employed some older dwarves to school Fili and Kili while he toiled away at the blacksmith shop. He even paid Aria to go home and give the boys lunch. The dwarrow never accepted his payment, loving the boys as her own, though he always left some extra money in her stall. Aria would leave at four in the evening to go visit the boys. 

She would feed them lunch and play with them, the order of the activities depending on the boys' mood. Then she would put them down for a nap, making sure they were deep asleep before she left to go back to her stall. Aria would always be invited to the Durin's parties, public or private, and her cakes always stole the show. The other dwarves noticed Aria's relationship with the Durins and someone would always ask Thorin about their status, but the prince would always blow it off. 

They spent happy, uneventful lives for some time as the boys aged. Their lives were routine; Thorin would leave them with an elder while he went to work, Aria would be with them in the afternoon, and Thorin would be home by the time Fili and Kili woke up from their nap. Kili was 11 now and Fili was 13, closing up on a responsible age. Thorin took it upon himself to raise his eldest nephew as his heir; everything that he'd gone through in Erebor, he would put Fili through, and more. Thorin had higher expectations for Fili than anyone in Erebor had of him at that age. 

Thorin had lived a life of luxury, his grandfather still alive and running the nation well. He wasn't expected to be on the throne long after his own father had had the opportunity to rule. Every day, him and the boys would practice sword fighting where he would work on Fili's skill. Kili was getting on well with a bow, but Fili was slow to perfect his sword skills. Thorin had less patience with his nephew than any of his trainers had. He meant it all in good will of course, not wanting his nephew to be left unguarded and unprepared for any trouble. On one particular day, Fili reached his temper and snapped.

"No one asked me if I wanted to be a prince!" 

"It's not about whether or not you're a prince! You have to know how to take care of yourself, and your brother. I won't always be around. Now pick up your sword and fight me, son!" 

"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my father!" Fili threw down his sword and ran out, leaving Thorin speechless. 

 Fili ran through the streets of dwarf town, not caring who he bumped into or who called out for him. His own words stung him as he cried, running furiously towards his destination. He found Aria's cabin and banged madly at her door, but it didn't seem like she was home. The neighbor peaked out to see what the matter was, and was about to tell the prince that Aria wasn't home, but he ran away again. 

Aria had gone to see an old dwarrow who had been friends with her mother, catching up on old times. There were more people in the streets than normal, and her neighbor was waiting for her when she reached home.

"Berna, what ever is the matter?"

"Prince Fili was here; seemed pretty upset. I think he's run away from home. Poor lad."

"Oh dear! I better go looking for him." Aria didn't even step into her house before she ran out again, looking for Fili. 

She searched through the outskirts of town, calling out his name. It didn't seem like she was disturbing anyone since many others were also looking for the boy. Aria had the sudden idea to check her stall; after all, he was looking for her. Picking up her pace, she ran as fast as she could to the market and to her stall. Aria sighed in relief when she heard cries coming from under. 

"Fili, are you there?" Aria soothingly called out.  

There was a scuffle as Fili got himself out from under the boxes and came to her crying. 

"I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it at all!" He cried against her chest as he hugged her.

"Didn't mean what, kidhuzel?" 

"Uncle was working me so hard and I was tired of it! No one asked me if I wanted to be prince! But then I said he wasn't my adad and I ran out! I didn't mean it, Ria! Really! I was just tired and mad. I hurt him, he probably hates me!"

Aria got down to her knees and held his face in her hands, wiping his tears with her thumbs.

"If he hated you, he wouldn't have the whole town looking for you. I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it. Let's go tell him, your uncle is probably worried sick." 

Fili took her offered hand and went on his way home with her. There was a bit of a forest that they had to cross to get back to dwarf town from the human market, and usually there were no beasts, but tonight was turning out to be a pretty unusual day. 

"Ah, look at what we've got here, men." A drunken voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Looks like we hit the double load!" Another voice sneered.

"Where you goin, mama? We can walk you home." A third came from the front and circled them in.  

"N-no thank you. We'll get there soon. Come," Aria grabbed Fili's hand and kept him close. "Excuse us."

"Aw, you got manners! But we ain't done yet."  

Fili stood out, glowering at the approaching man. "She said we're going home! Get out of our way!"

The men laughed. "Ooh! Scary! Or what?"

Fili quickly stole Aria's safety dagger and carelessly swung it around, intending only to keep the men at bay, while he tried to roar a battle cry. The three men laughed at his feeble attempt, the boys cry sounding like whine to them, but they quickly shut up when a deep, angry roar sounded from behind the kid. Aria stepped aside a second before Thorin ran out, swinging his sword with aim. The three men also got out their weapons and fought the dwarf, all of them hurting the other well. Fili ran to join in, but Aria grabbed him, holding him back.

"Uncle Thorin!" Fili cried. 

The battle seemed to go on for ages till the men realized they would not win against the dwarf and ran away. They weren't from the neighbor town. 

Thorin was panting, exhausted from fighting. He sheathed his sword and turned to them. 

"Are you both alri..." he fell unconscious before he could finish.

Aria and Fili ran to him, trying to get him awake, but he didn't budge. Aria noticed the deep gash that went along Thorin's side, and kept Fili busy holding Thorin's head. The two screamed for help and luckily some of Thorin's men hadn't been too far off. The dwarves tied up Thorin's wound the best they could at the moment and heaved him up onto a pony, running him back home. Aria and Fili were right behind on the third pony. The guards were waiting by the Durin's gate and quickly let them pass. 

"Where's Kili?" Aria asked as soon as she was off her ride.

"In his room, ma'am."

Aria took Fili's hand and ran him up to the boys' room where Kili was anxiously waiting for them.

"Fi! You're back!" Kili shouted and ran to hug his brother.  

"Sorry I left, Ki! I shouldn't have left! It's all my fault! Uncle's hurt because of me!"

"Hush!" Aria chided them and pulled them both into her lap.

"Now, your worrying is only going to disturb your uncle more. We're going to stay calm, stay together, and pray that your uncle gets well soon.” 

Once the boys were settled enough, she put them down and peeked out the door to call someone to bring them dinner. The tension for Thorin’s health was high and the boys just barely finished food, being coaxed by Aria. Neither of them had an ounce of sleep in them, and all of them were awake when Balin came to bring them to Thorin. 

The boys had almost ran to jump their uncle before Dwalin held them back, warning them that their uncle was wounded.

“It’s alright, you can still come to me.” Thorin sat up the best he could and invited them next to him. 

Kili willingly went to snuggle next to his uncle and Thorin hugged him, kissing his head. Fili wasn’t so eager.

“Fi...” Thorin soothingly called him. 

“I’m sorry! It’s all my fault you’re hurt!” 

“No, Fili! It wasn’t...” Thorin tried, but Fili wasn’t finished. 

“I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean what I said!”

Thorin pursed in a smile and tried to get up but Balin ushered him back. Dwalin pushed Fili closer to Thorin’s bed and he finally pulled his nephew into a hug. 

“I know you didn’t mean it, Fili. You were exhausted, because I was pushing you too hard. I just want to teach you how to be able to protect yourself, and I approached it wrongly. I’m sorry. I could never take the place of your fa-”

Fili cut him off with a hug, burying his head in his shoulder. “You’re better than him! You’ll always be our adad!”

Thorin smiled a proud fatherly smile and held Fili close as he laid back down, Kili snuggling into his good side again. The door came in his line of sight and he noticed Aria watching them from the doorway.  

“Aria, please come in.” Thorin called her out and everyone turned to her. 

Aria awkwardly let herself in and Dwalin stepped aside to usher her to the seat.

 “Th-Thank you for saving us, at your own expense.” 

“No, the grateful one is I. You were there for Fili.” 

“It wasn’t a matter; he’s my own boy, they both are.”

“Exactly. And that’s why from now on, you’ll stay with them here.”

Aria’s eyes widened and she immediately began to argue.  

“Nonsense! I’ll have someone else work your shop for you, so you can stay the whole day with them. It seems you know how to work them better than I do.”

“I surely can’t be better than their own uncle?”

“I’d appreciate it, and I think the lads will love it if you took care of them. Any ways, it seems like I’ll be stuck in bed for some time, so they’re going to need you to be here.”

“Please Aria?” 

“Yes, please Ria! Stay with us!” 

“We’ll be on our best behavior!” 

Thorin laughed at their pleading  

“Can’t get better than that! I’d give in if I were you.”

Aria laughed as well. 

“Alright alright, you win. I’ll stay.”

  Kidhuzel: golden one

ch2 ch4

[stocknlisianthus]

Alice In Middle Earth [Hobbit] (Various x reader)

A/N This chapter is longer than the previous chapter! All the other chapters would be this long if not longer, chapter one is the only exception because it’s like a prologue/chapter 1. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well! If you haven’t read chapter one, click this below.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

  Numbness and coldness. Those were the first thoughts that rushed into (Y/N)’s mind. Then, as if a sudden electricity travelled her body, she sat up, choking up some water that was blocking her airway. She coughed violently before coming back to her senses and looking around her surroundings.

 “Where am I….?” She gasped when all she could see was green. There was no sign of the blue ocean that swallowed her whole. In fact, there was nothing blue as far as she could see except for the clear sky.

“So you are finally awake,” A voice called from above and it was only then that (Y/N) realized that she was sitting up with her legs out on the grass, water dripping down from her hair, face, and body and making a puddle around her. A tall man stood over her, blocking the sun. He was dressed in grey; grey robe, grey beard, and pointy grey hat like of a wizard-

“A wizard?” A word slipped out from (Y/N)’s lips and she shook her head no. He doesn’t seem to have a wand in his hand. Just a fancy walking stick is all he had with him. Forcing her numb legs, she stood up, crunching her nose for a split of a second as she realized that her flipflops were gone. She didn’t expect anything until the older man spoke again, a look of surprise evident on his aged face.

“Yes, I am Gandalf the Grey. A pleasure to meet you, Lady….” He took his point hat off and bowed down his head, giving a warm smile as his voice drifted off. (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N) And the pleasure is all mine. (Y/N) smiled back, also bowing her head in respect. She found this situation quite amusing although she had no idea where she was, nor how she got here, and where her friends had gone.

“Mister Gandalf the Grey, have you by any chance seen my friends? One of the guys has red hair and…” Gandalf gently shook his head no and (Y/N)’s face fell. It didn’t make sense. Harry, Ron, and Hermione would have never left her side when she was unconscious. She pondered for a moment, then coming back to her senses when Gandalf cleared his throat. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m just so confused… I don’t even know where I am!” She basically screamed that last part, panic finally registering into her.

“Do not worry. You must be freezing, Lady (Y/N). I know of a place where you could take shelter for a while. Come, come! We best be on our way!” So she followed the wizard, although she wasn’t quite sure of it yet, her heart strangely thudding fast for a strange reason in this strange situation.

   *

   “What is it that you find so unfamiliar?” Gandalf spoke after a few minutes of walking in silence, bringing (Y/N)’s attention to him. She staggered for a while, not sure if she should give out her hypothesis to a complete stranger. After a few quick thoughts, she decided against the idea and just beamed at the old man that reminded her very much of a friend of hers.

 “It’s very different from where I come from. There’s…. a lot less buildings around here,” She said, looking around, to which Gandalf informed her that they were now at the Shire. The Shire… That didn’t sound familiar at all, did it? Sighing, (Y/N) gazed at the sky and noticed that the sky was already tinted dark blue and the sun had gone down.

  Gandalf the Grey eventually led her up the hills and together they spotted 8 short men leaning against what is supposed to be a door...? because the moment Gandalf was about to call out to them, it opened and they all fell forward, piling on top of one another. Before Gandalf leaned in she caught a glimpse of another short man looking baffled, confused, flustered, and even possibly angry and couldn’t help feeling a little bit sorry for him despite not knowing him at all. So when they all got into the house, (Y/N) very slowly set her foot in the comfortable looking house-err, she wasn’t sure if she should call it a hole or a house- and bowed her head, an apologetic smile forming on her lips.

 “I’m so sorry to barge in on you like this, especially so late, but I haven’t got anywhere else to go and Gandalf suggested that I follow him here,” (Y/N) said, putting her hand out for a handshake, which the man took and shook firmly despite him being so flustered.

 “Bilbo Baggins, Miss….” (Y/N), she smiled, “(Y/N). I suppose… since there are already more than a dozen people so politely enjoying my hospitality, one more wouldn’t hurt,” His sarcastic remark made her laugh despite the loud noise coming from the kitchen which also made her ears hurt a bit. Nonetheless, Bilbo led her to the kitchen before walking off towards Gandalf for confrontation.

  (Y/N) quietly took the empty seat, which happened to be right across from one of the younger men. She felt her stomach grumbling for food and was about to grab a biscuit when a hand landed on top of hers, also reaching out for one as well. When she looked up, she saw the man with the shortest beard meeting her eyes with a… shocked expression? She couldn’t put a finger on it but she slid her hands back and let him take one first before bringing one to her mouth.

 “Um…. I….” He stammered, not even thinking of retrieving his outstretched hand. (Y/N) lifted her gaze up onto his face again from her plate. She smiled politely, waiting for him to go on. When a minute passed by and the man still hadn’t mouthed a single word, the blonde man right beside him spoke up instead.

 “I’m Fíli and this is my brother Kíli,” Fíli said, nudging his brother on the side, at which Kíli jolted and muttered a “pleasure to meet you”.

  Just when (Y/N) was about to introduce herself to the brothers, Gandalf took a seat beside her and she was asked to check on Bilbo, the host, who certainly didn’t look pleased with the situation. When (Y/N) rose from her seat and carefully made her way to him without being noticed by the other men- or she had thought, which had been proven wrong in less than an hour- and laid a hand on his shoulder. Are you okay? You don’t look so well. Her worried face must have calmed the host a bit because he sighed instead of giving her an angry speech about how rude the men were.

 “Yes, I’m just very tired today. I just… never expected so many guests, if not none.”

 “And so late at night too. I apologize, Mister Bilbo Baggins. I really do appreciate your kind act, though I must say, and the food is delicious! Did you make it yourself?”

 “Why, yes, of course!” Bilbo beamed. Finally! Someone sensible enough to thank him for his hospitality! “I lived by myself for a while so I have familiarized myself with cooking. I quite like it very much.” He looked up at the woman and was caught by surprise when he saw her smiling widely. It made him a little bit giddy inside.

 On the other hand, (Y/N) found herself enjoying Bilbo’s company. He had a kind heart and was also very polite. It made her wonder how he knew those men in the kitchen. Not to be rude or anything, but it seemed like they were the total opposite of him! Except for the height, of course, Bilbo only came up to about her chest and the men in the kitchen about her shoulder. Just as Bilbo was about to talk to her about his favourite recipe, he was interrupted by one of the men.

 “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with the plates?”

“Here you go, Ori, give it to me.” A blonde man (Y/N) recognized from the earlier conversation as Fíli interrupted again and threw the plate at his brother, who also tossed it around his back to another person. (Y/N) and Bilbo watched with a horrified look on their faces, (Y/N) because she didn’t think anyone would do that as a guest and Bilbo because he was terrified of the dwarves breaking his plates.

  “Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!” Bilbo yelled across the room and (Y/N) ducked down just in time to miss the flying plate that was coming her way. The men had started to bang their hands on the table and clashed their knives and forks to start a rhythm by the time the two horrified people rushed into the kitchen. Can you not do that? You’ll blunt them! The host’s cry was ignored by the man who snorted and Kíli’s singing.

 Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

 That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

 Cut the cloth, tread on fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor, splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole

When you're finished, if they are whole, send them down the hall to roll

 That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

  Despite Bilbo getting paler by the passing second, (Y/N) couldn’t fight the smile that was forming on her lips. The men seemed to be enjoying themselves and the lyrics were hilarious- most importantly they reminded her of her troublemaker friends: Fred and George, not to mention her three best friends, Ron, Harry, and yes, surprisingly Hermione too. After the song ended, she let out a small giggle, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

  “Say, who are you-“

Bang, bang, bang! One of the men started but was cut off short by the loud banging on the round green hobbit-sized door, taking away yet one more chance for (Y/N) to introduce herself properly to the fellow guests.

[enter-fandom]

The Long Road (part 1)

Fandom: The Hobbit Pairing: Thorin x Reader (eventually) Rating: General Warnings: General, Canon Compliant Violence Theme: N/A Request: N/A Words: 1521 Status: Part 1 Notes: I’ve seen so many “Reader Falls into Middle Earth” stories, and while I love every single one, it’s always an unprepared reader with very few skills that translate. I wanted to rectify that, if I could. Warnings are for each individual part. Later parts will likely contain Smut. Secondary Notes: For those who have never been to a Ren Faire, or a convention, peace tie is the act of rendering a weapon (usually a blade) unusable, by making it unable to be unsheathed. This is often done using zip ties. This is done for the safety of actors and patrons. All faires I’ve ever been to peace tie weapons upon entry. Some peace tie weapons bought in shops on fair grounds, others do not. Also, some faires allow patrons and actors to camp on premises, but outside the faire proper ----

It was your third weekend of Faire, and one of your first times off of the season. Wandering through the various shops, speaking to the artisans and other actors you knew as the morning faded into early afternoon, you immersed yourself in the painstakingly crafted world around you. Despite being off for the day, you’d chosen a simple tunic, trousers, and leather armor, sword peace tied to your side. At your back, your pack contained a few essentials you refused to leave in camp, as well as a change of dress should the afternoon call for it. Stopping at one of the carts on the path, you bought a packet of candied nuts and moved toward the open grounds for eating, roving actors amusing the patrons, some of whom were in garb themselves. Settling under a tree, you enjoyed your snack, the sun warming your skin and your eyes closed, the sounds of activity around you lulling you into a nap, feeling safe with people around whom you knew wouldn’t allow any harm befall you. You woke, however, to a different sort of clatter. It sounded more like camp, than the grounds, and you blinked, far more trees in your sight, and the sun much lower in the sky than should be. Following the sound of voices, you peeked over what appeared to have once been a stone fence, gasping softly at the sight before you. You knew these figures, though not in the same way as your fellow actors. Short, bustling, bearded and armored men - dwarves, you corrected - moved about what was clearly a camp, calling to one another as they worked. Among them, a head of short, curly blond hair bobbed, pitching in where the figure could, but mostly just staying out of the way. A quick headcount brought the number to twelve, and your lips pursed in thought, remembering the all too familiar story and trying to place who was missing and why, realization hitting you. You shrank back when a head turned your direction, and you took a slow, quiet breath, uncertain of what would happen if they found you. Your gaze moved to your sword, and you cursed the peace tie. If things progressed the way you thought they might, it would serve you no good. The sound of gravel and twigs crunching underfoot caught your ear, and you moved, wishing more fervently that you had use of your blade, just in case, when a hat-clad head hovered above you, “Oi, lads. We’ve got company.” You quickly found yourself surrounded, studied and questioned by too many Dwarrow at once, and you stood, holding your hands up to stay the commotion, “One at a time, or I cannot answer anything.” Thorin, of course, took the lead, sneering your way, “Who are you?” “Y/N.” That was simple, at least. His brow furrowed at the name, unfamiliar to his ears, not a common one for Middle Earth, “And are you friend or foe?” “Friend, I should think,” you said with a laugh, “Though, this is unexpected.” “How so?” “This is most certainly not where I’m from.” At the questioning looks, you sighed, shifting your pack from your back and holding a hand up again, “Nothing I’ve got in here will cause harm.” The closest would have been your flintstone, but even that was useless without tinder. They still watched with unease, and you could not fault them for it, even as you reached into a side pouch and pulled out two very foreign items.

You glanced around the group,  locking eyes with Thorin and handing him your wallet before holding your phone out to Ori. While the leader of the company took the offered object,  the scribe looked a little nervous,  a few nods urging him to take it from you.

Thorin was had already unfolded the leather and was studying the construction as well as contents,  “What's this?”

“My wallet,” you reached out, pulling a card from the confines, flicking it, “This is plastic. It's made from different compounds to be used in place of things like glass and metal.  These cards are linked to accounts and allow me to make purchases where I'm from.” He took the card from you with a frown, studying it before returning it where it belonged,  his attention turned now to your license.  “That's my identification.  It has my name,  address,  date of birth.”

He looked from the picture, to your face with a frown, trying to reconcile the difference that ten years had made in your features. “And what's this,  Miss?” Ori asked, still turning your phone over in his hands.

“That, is my phone.  It's a device that lets me communicate verbally over great distances. It's metal,  plastic, and glass all bundled to make it.” You reached out and carefully pressed the power button on the side, drawing it to life. Your lock screen was a picture from Faire that a friend had taken,  you in the heat of a match,  sword drawn,  mouth open in a battle cry.  Sliding your finger over the screen to unlock it as the others peered over the younger Dwarf's shoulder,  revealing a sight that made Thorin's frown deepen.

“That's…”

“The Lonely Mountain,  yes,” you finished,  gently taking your belongings back and tucking them away.  

“How?”

“That's a long story,” you offered,  shrugging. “One I'm willing to tell when time allows,  if you'll have me,  but first,  if one of you would be so kind.” Your hand finally found the hilt of your sword and the group tensed,  hands going to their own weapons only to frown when your tug did not unsheathe the bound blade.  Catching onto your request,  Nori moved forward with a knife, cutting the tie and you smiled, “Thank you.”

Stepping back, you bowed low, glancing up,  “Y/N L/N, at your service.”

The company looked to Thorin,  waiting quietly until he inclined his head, “Thorin Oakenshield, and Company, at yours.”

They broke back into their tasks after that, you helping where you could, making light conversation and getting to know the company in ways kept from the stories of your world. A nervousness remained about them, in your presence, but you didn't mind.  You were much the same,  though for a different reason. Questions were hurled your way,  many about your world,  though some about your knowledge of theirs.  You answered what you could,  but begged off some questions for another time,  eventually taking a bowl from Bilbo when he was sent to take Fili and Kili their dinner.  

“I can handle this,  you know.  They aren't far,” he groused as you moved through the trees.

“The delivery, yes.” What came after was more the reason you were going along.

When you came upon the princes, they drew on you,  frowning at Bilbo, “Who's she?”

The Hobbit ignored Fili's question,  glancing around,  “We seem to be short two ponies.”

He looked to the brothers, who looked suitably chastised, “Yes, we were just… what are you doing?” Kili's gaze moved from Bilbo to where you were moving slowly past the uprooted tree, quiet.

Rolling your eyes,  you looked back,  “Investigating.” You didn't need to. You'd learned their quest as a child, and continued to love it into adulthood.  You knew where the ponies were, and what would transpire,  but wondered how much you could change it.  Moving further through the brush,  you were joined by the other three,  sighing when you saw the trolls. “Go tell the others.” There was whispering behind you,  and you didn't bother to see who left,  creeping forward still as the gruesome trio around the fire conversed. You were no match for them,  even with Fili and Kili, doubtfully even with the rest of them.  The only way this could play out properly as close to what would occur without you as possible.  

Taking a deep breath,  you broke through the brush,  “Excuse me, I believe you have something of mine!”

The plan - if it could even be called that - wasn't your greatest,  but you hadn't really had time, intent on taking care of the situation to the best of your ability. If it hadn't been for Bilbo's quick thinking,  stalling for time, and Gandalf's return,  you'd have been troll food. Thankfully things worked out,  however,  and you abstained from joining the group in the hoard,  instead looking over your belongings and making sure nothing was missing, already calculating the events ahead. It all depended, really, but you had a good idea.

You were right.  Radaghast showed,  taking Gandalf aside,  and then the Orcs. The stupid orcs.  Your sword was useless at your side as you ran,  cursing and ducking to remain out of sight.  As the tallest of the group - though not by much - you had to crouch more,  breathing deeply and nudging Kili. He glanced up,  realization dawning,  before looking to Thorin for instructions.  With a nod from his uncle,  he readied his bow and stepped out,  aiming and firing quickly.  

And then you were on the move again, following Gandalf to the hidden path,  already making your way as the Dwarves discussed behind you if they would follow.  

The path opened around you, revealing the breathtaking beauty of Rivendell, and you smiled.  You were safe,  for now.

[decadentenemyturtle]

The Great Unknown

Summary: As if it wasn’t bad enough to fall in a random hole in a road and find yourself in Middle Earth, travelling with Thorin Oakenshield and his company, but also get turned into a dog by Gandalf. And when the wizard doesn’t even know how it happened or how to turn you back, you could only hope that this was just a bad dream. But is it?

Pairing: Thorin's company x Reader

Words: 2358

Author's note: This will be a multi-chaptered story and it WILL take some time from me to write this. So please be patient, thank you. :)

All parts of the Great Unknown

By next morning the rain had finally stopped, but the air was still chilly and the sky was covered by dark clouds.

"It might start to rain again, later on today" Bilbo says particularly to no one, as he stands next to Gandalf, hands on his hip and stares up to the sky. Gandalf hums and states that he rather hopes that rain is done for now. Few dwarves nod their heads, agreeing with the wizard. You wished too that there wouldn't be no more rain. It had gone through your fur and made you wet. You didn't want to get sick. There would still be a long way until you'd reach to Rivendell and a lot would happen before that. Being sick would only slow you down and the company would actually find a reason to leave you behind.

But to be honest, the next few days you started to note how close Kili became to you, talking to you and spend some time with you. And since Kili was spending time with you, Fili found himself sitting with you two more than often. Bofur sometimes sang you something, whenever he wasn't talking with his brother, cousin and Nori and Dori. Bombur made sure you got as much food as the others did, and remembered to thank you a thousands time for getting more meat for them. Dwalin, even thought he surely didn't like you or trust you, took you with him to hunt, admiring  that your nose was indeed a good help to find the hiding animals. Balin and Ori often patted you, Ori only few times before his brothers were fetching him and glaring a hole to you. Bilbo talked to you sometimes about Shire and the other Hobbits. You wished you could have shared him stories of your world, but it was impossible. For now, at least.

And in these few days you started to believe, that at least these few dwarves and Bilbo wouldn't leave you behind, well not at least saying a word or two about it. And if they'd leave you behind, you could try to track them down and follow them until they would reach to the elven city.

 In early evening the company arrives to ruin of an old farm. Thorin calls for a stop announces that you'd make a camp here, while Gandalf suggests you to continue. Rivendell wouldn't be that far away and you could even reach there. You agreed with Gandalf, you should keep going. It wasn't that late and the darkness of nighttime was still two, maybe three hours away. You could reach at least more near Rivendell, if not even arriving there on the evening.

And you would miss the trolls. You didn't prefer to be catch by them and be eaten. And the ponies would ran away. They were funny and liked to talk to you. They even shared few secrets with you about the dwarves. You had happily listened them while walking, while the dwarves and Bilbo didn't mind to talk to you. The secrets were more or less juicy, and you'd happily ("accidentally", of course) shared them, if you'd happen to turn back to human and the dwarves would turn back to being mean.

Your thoughts were interrupted when Gandalf marches angrily back to his horse and Bilbo shouts after him.

"Is... everything alright? Gandalf?! Where are you going?!" he seems to be rather panicked, as were you. What about if he wouldn't return? To lot of you would be eaten by the trolls and you would stay as a dog forever! As Gandalf states that he is going to seek the company who has any sense.

"And who's that?" Bilbo asks, sounding rather innocent. Gandalf doesn't stop and goes for his horse.

"Myself, master Baggins!" he huffs and then jumps on his horse. You take a step towards the wizard and let out rather angry bark, scaring the company around you.

"Hey!" your bark carries over to the wizard, who stops his horse only to look down at you.

"And you! You should think who you are talking back! You and your problem are not my concern!" he states. You let out rather angry growl, state yourself ready to leap and attack him. Your teeth shows, when you second later let out another, deeper and angrier growl. The company around became aware of your angry state. Dwalin even took a half step towards you, shooting angry stare towards the wizard, who looked to be still angry with everything and everyone.

"And wasn't it you and your... stick who turned lass into a dog?" he asks, looking at the wizard meaningfully. Few murmurs is heard in the company, as they seem to agree with Dwalin.

"Aye, so how come she's not any of your concern" Fili challenges the wizard. He is about to answer when you let out one last angry growl, turn and leave. You ran into a woods, hearing the company shout behind you. And someone was shouting to Gandalf, blaming him from your state.

 You didn't know how far you had ran, but finally you came to an stop. You are panting and looking down at the undergrowth of the forest. There were tears in your eyes. You didn't know that dogs could cry too. But then again, you weren't a real dog. You were a human. Now you didn't know what you were. Well, no. You knew you were a dog, but... You felt like a mutant.

You look around, seeing only woods and few stones. None of the dwarves had followed you, which kind of saddened you more. Maybe they didn't care of you after all. Not so much that they'd follow you, to see if you'd be OK and that you'd find back to the camp.

You jump over an rock and look around. You didn't see danger, nor smell anyone who'd be trying to take your life, so you set yourself on the rock and let out a yawn.

"I am not his concern. No wonder he didn't say or do anything to try and turn me back to human" you murmur. All the last hopes you had had to get back to human were lost. You had to accept that you would stay as a dog for the rest of your life, Gods only knew hos long you would live.

"Whatever you are talking about, my dear child?" you hear someone say. You lift your head and see an eagle, sitting on the branch of near by tree. You tilt your head in confusion. The eagle could talk to you, yes, and you weren't that surprise it. You had accepted it that animals could talk to each others when you had first heard the ponies to talk to you. But what did surprise you was that the eagle seemed to care. So you ended up telling him your little story. How you had had fight with your mother, how you had went to take a walk and had fallen in a hole you hadn't seen, how you had dropped to the Middle earth and dropped over a wizard, joined the company and then how you had been turned over to a dog by the wizard.

"... And now he says I am not his concern. His probably ashamed of taking me with them" you finish and sigh. The eagle spears its wings and flies over to the rock. You look at it, but give no more thought about him.

"I'm sorry to hear that you have had shitty life over these past few weeks" he says looking at you rather sadly. You let out a huff, nodding a little. The bird was right, you had had a shitty weeks.

"Well, it's not like it's going to be any better. We're almost going to be eaten by trolls, outrun and killed by orcs and then there are the elves, the incident in Goblin cave and Bilbo happens to find the...." you start to list the incoming events as well as you remembered them. The eagle, however, stops you.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but... Can you see the future?" he asks, sounding rather amazed. You lift your head and your ears shoot up, as you realized that you had talked over your mouth. Usually you could say these thing aloud. The ponies hadn't payed any mind to you, only murmuring that you were just imagining thing. Anything you had said hadn't happened yet, so they didn't believe you. But this eagle did. Or, he rather thought you were a fortuneteller, or something like that.

"Err... No, I cannot. This... might sound rather weird, but I know these from a story back in my world" you say. The eagle seems to be lifting his imaginary eyebrow.

"So, you mean this all... happens in a storybook in your world?" the eagle finally asks. You nod your head to him. "But if you knew you were going to drop in here and turn into a dog, why were you so surprised?" You sigh and the eagle wrinkles its brows.

"Yes, this is a storybook in my world, but no, I was not part of it. I'm like an... outsider in this story" you tell him. The eagle seems to understand you, as he turns to look up in the darkening sky. Goodness, you should be getting back to camp before it would fully become dark.

"Well, it seems you are a new member of a newly written story" the eagle says, sounding rather creepy to you. Newly written story, you shrug. This was... like...

"Like a never ending story" you finish out loud. The eagle looks at you for few seconds, then he turns towards the side of the rock.

"Indeed, my dear child. Now, if you'll excuse me" he says and spreads his wings, leaping into the sky. You look after him, realizing you should go back to the camp, before they'll come to get you.

"Yeah, it was nice to talk to you, master eagle. I have to go back, too" you say, well knowing that the eagle couldn't hear you anymore. It felt good to talk to someone, even to a fully stranger bird. It was a little easier to accept your fate, to be out here as a dog. And maybe it wasn't that bad.

You got up and jump down from the rock. Then you catch a smell. A rather bad one, too. You take few steps. The smell of the dwarves and the food Bombur was making, the camp... That way. You hadn't gone that far then, if you smelled them. Then the bad smell... That way.

You leap, running towards the bad smell, well knowing what it was. The trolls. It wouldn't be too late to save the ponies and the arses of the dwarves and Bilbo. After few moments you ran to the clearing, behind the old house, or what was left of it, and back to the woods. None of the dwarves hadn't seen you. They were all in the camp, expect Gandalf, who had left in the end, Fili, Kili and Bilbo. Those three were currently counting the ponies, as you were now slowly nearing the camp of the three trolls. You could see the two ponies being already tied up on the rather well made-up fences.

You, ever so slowly and carefully, approach the ponies. Those two got scared of you first but when they recognize you, they pray for you to save them.

"Were gonna be eaten, lass!" the other pony, Gungoll, whines. You sneak near the ponies to hide from the other troll, who turn to look at their soon-to-be dinner and shouts them to be more quiet.

"It's OK, you two. I can't loosen this bloody rope myself, but if I'm correct, Bilbo should be here soon" you say. The pony sounds still scared.

"Please, go get the dwarves. Those trolls are going to skin us and eat us soon" Gungoll pleads and you sigh. You get up and sneak back to the forest, murmuring that you'd be back soon, with or without the dwarves. When you are far enough from the trolls camp, you ran towards the dwarves camp. You leap from the bush, scaring the shit out of the company.

"Lass! My goodness, do not do that!" Nori cries out, holding his other hand protectively over Ori and Dori, and his other hand over his chest. Everyone in the company seems sigh in relief when they realize its only you, not a wolf or any other dangerous animals trying to sneak to them and kill them.

"And good timing too, food is ready" Bombur says. Now its you who sighs. The fat dwarf is focusing only food and no one seems to wonder, why you came from complete different direction from where you had ran off or why you came in such a hurry, as if something was wrong.

"Idiots! It's no time to be eating!" you bark, moving towards the woods and then back to the camp, repeating this movement few times. Everyone looks at each other, not understanding you. Dwalin looks at you, frowning. He knew something was off, but didn't care enough to follow you. Thorin just shrugs and murmurs that you had probably found an squirrel. You let similar, low growl than earlier when Gandalf had left. Thorin turns to you, frowning. Then you let out a frustrated sigh and ran back to the woods. If they didn't care to follow you, then it was their problem. They were the ones, in the end, who were riding on the ponies. Not you.

Only few seconds later after you had disappeared back to the woods, Fili and Kili appears from there. You had ran past each others, neither of you noticing each other.

"Trolls! There's trolls in the woods! They got four of our ponies and Bilbo's trying to save them!" Kili shouts. The camp goes deathly silence. Thorin stiffens and Bombur drops his ladle to the ground. Everyone shares a shocked look.

"Lass..." Dwalin murmurs and grips his axes.

Tags: @lidda ​ @bee-wrecker @queendarkmuffin​ @silencegetawayfromme​ @kettnerjanea​ @sdavid09​ @ealasaid​

Those, who I couldn’t tag, have been market in bold.

[kittenwritesstuff]

A little unsteady

Fandom: The Hobbit Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x (wife)reader Genres: mild angst, fluff Words: 1.590 Summary: Reader receives an unexpected and rather disturbing message. When he realizes that it bothers her greatly, Thorin shows how protective he can be of his loved one - requested by @deepestfirefun

You lean your hip against the edge of a dark wooden desk, a gift from Mirkwood elves for new King of Erebor. Your husband peaks at you, a quiver in his hands as he strokes his beard.

“So the horse stays?”

“Yes, Thorin.”

“The most wayward creature I’ve ever seen and you tell me you adore it?”

“Absolutely!”

“Y/N, you are truly extraordinary,” he says fondly and you flash him an elated smile, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

“How did you tame him?” he asks, placing a quiver in an inkpot and standing up. He then faces you, placing his palms on your hips, a warm smile curling up his lips, the smile that only you are granted to see.

“Patience, experience and a lot of sugar,” you admit, joy evident in your voice and Thorin chuckles airily.

Frankly, the love between you and him was something you have long stopped dreaming of. You came to terms with being alone for the rest of your life, knowing that most Rangers end up like that.

But when you stumbled upon a company of dwarves, with a hobbit and a certain wizard among them, your life has changed, fortunately. Thorin Oakenshield, with his distant manner, stubbornness and quietness, turned your world upside down and you did not hesitate when you were faced with Pale Orc on a Ravenhill, on one hand having an opportunity to come out unharmed, on the other, however, possibly saving Thorin’s life.

And, of course, you chose saving him. How could you live with yourself later, with an awareness that you allowed your One to die, while being able to prevent it.

The choice was simple and Thorin, realizing that you did it out of love, confessed his feelings for you, begging on his knees for you to stay by his side forever. You couldn’t refuse such an offer.

Your fellow Rangers sent a party to take a part in celebrations of reclaiming Erebor, Thorin’s coronation and your wedding. They showed their happiness that you finally got the life you deserved and told you that there would always be a place for you among them. You repaid in kind, assuring that if they had troubles, Erebor would gladly help.

“Experience, you say?” Thorin muses, snapping you out of your little reverie and you nod your head, carding your fingers through his silky hair.

“I happened to appease a very stubborn dwarf, I know how to deal with tough cases.”

“Oh, is that so? And what came next for that dwarf you’ve mentioned?”

“He married me,” you shrug, giggling when Thorin’s calloused hands travel to cradle your face.

“My beautiful, bright jewel, I would be-“

A loud knock on the door blows up a bubble the two of you are in and you let out a heavy sigh as Thorin pulls away from you. He orders the intruder to come in and, much to your surprise, your personal maidservant enters, bowing gracefully.

“Forgive me, my Queen, I have a message for you.”

“From whom?” you ask, trying to find your shock but to no avail. The maiden hands you a folded piece of parchment, but says nothing as she takes her leave hurriedly, making your chest tighten uncontrollably. It must be something bad, something very bad, she wouldn’t have behaved such a way.

You are aware that Thorin’s gaze is entirely focused on your face as you unfold the parchment, your eyes sliding over a handwriting you hoped to never see again. To never come face to face with its owner, however now it seems that the meeting is inevitable.

You frown, shocked and confused, trying to process written words. Why now? And what for? You knew that such a title was unnecessary, nothing of dire need, something only to show off. Which would be quite predictable regarding your older brother.

“Thorin, excuse me for a moment,” you mutter, your face becoming more and more pale as you try to prepare yourself for a confrontation. You let a small flame of anger come to life and grow inside you, knowing that you will need.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing of your concern, my love,” you say calmly and lean in to peck his lips, exiting his office quickly and soon, you are descending stone stairs, heading to a room made for host private meetings.

Once you are out of the room, Thorin calls for one of his guards, ordering him to follow you secretly and report him who dared make you so uneasy. He’s worried, obviously, and wants to make sure you are safe and well. Also, knowing that a guard will be close to you, calms him down significantly.

Inhaling deeply to steady your shaken nerves, you open the door and step into the room, your back straightened and head high, creating a confident, strong posture, despite the uncertainty you feel within.

Your brother smirks mockingly as he takes you in.

“Well, well, well, look where my little sister climbed. Queen of Erebor.”

“What do you want?” you say through gritted teeth, stopping in front of him. Your hands absently ball into fists.

“Don’t be so cranky, sweetheart. I came with a family visit, missed you so much-“

“You won’t fool me,” you state coldly and the smile on your brother’s face falls for a moment. It reappears, however, as he takes a seat in a tall chair.

“I want a place in your council. It’s only fit for Queen’s family to be a part of it.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged, darling.”

“You have no idea what you’re playing here with. Thorin will never agree to that.”

“You have a very powerful bargaining card, right between your legs. And you forget that I know things about you. Things the Queen should not be proud of.”

You clench your jaw, trying your hardest to remain settled. It is rather impossible, given that your brother is right, that you know he will use everything he has against you, if he thinks it will help him achieve his goal.

Your nostrils flare as you draw a breath in.

“My husband knows about my past. He accepts it.”

“Then he’s a fool.”

“He loves me, and I love him. And we respect each other.”

“Respect?” he laughs at you darkly, evidently mocking you. “How can he respect someone of your kind, someone with your past? Someone who eagerly-“

“Who was forced to sell herself because her brother was a greedy, cruel man?”

You gasp when you hear Thorin’s voice behind you, a sigh of relief leaving your lips as you turn around and, stepping quickly, walk into his opened arms. He whispers reassuring words into your ear as he lets go of you and takes a step closer to your brother, who suddenly becomes afraid.

“That’s what she told you?” he tries but Thorin raises his hand, silencing him.

“I will not have you trying to shame my wife with your false accusations. I am aware of her past. I know every detail of the cruelty you brought upon her. What I cannot understand is why you came here?”

“I’m her brother, and a family member should be granted a place in the council-“

“You are not a family of mine. No more. Not ever,” you state boldly and your brother’s mouth fall agape at your courage. “You have stopped being my brother when you began using me to get money. My family is in the North, and it is here, in Erebor.”

“But-“ he tries again, yet Thorin doesn’t allow him to finish.

“Now, you will leave and never come back. I am banning you from this land and I will make sure that King Thranduil also knows of you, same as Beorn. Should you be seen here, you will rot in my dungeon.”

“Y/N-“

“You’ve heard my husband. And next time, I will not hesitate to either shot you or throw an axe at you.”

Upon hearing that, your brother, stumbling and almost collapsing, rushes out of the room and the palace, forcing his horse to a gallop, glancing a few times over his shoulder.

And you, you finally let the tears fall down your cheeks, Thorin catching you in his arms when your knees buckle underneath you, all the fear and shame leaving your mind.

“You’ll be safe here, my Queen. I will protect you.”

“I didn’t know he’d be so stupid to come here, Thorin.”

“He’s greedy, he snuff gold. If I am honest, I hope he comes back. I could use a person like him in the mines.”

You let out a small chuckle, kissing your husband’s jaw.

“You are the best that have ever happened to me, Thorin.”

“Oh, Y/N, I think the same about you. You are my strength, I would not be a dwarf I am now without you,” he murmurs lovingly, his eyes boring into yours and you press your lips against his, pouring all the love you have for him into the kiss.

He responds in no time, the kiss becoming passionate and deep and when you part for a breath, Thorin rests his forehead against yours, his warm hands cupping your cheeks and stroking his thumbs against your soft, wet from crying skin.

You smile at him fondly, feeling calmer and safer. Thorin kisses the tip of your nose before reassuring yet again,

“No harm will come your way, Y/N. I will fight every single one off. Always and forever, amrâlimê.” 

[shockcity]

Bagginshield #4 - on a date

Rating: G Summary: for the 30 Day OTP Challenge. Dating for dwarrow is a harrowing experience. Bilbo is not impressed.  

---------------

Balin found Bilbo in the library, where he and Ori were steadily making their way through the very disorganized incurable diseases section, which had somehow gotten mixed up with their very small collection of elvish histories. Bilbo was grumbling but spared a smile for Balin, who waited patiently for his attention. Finishing his latest stack, Bilbo turned to look at the old dwarf properly, but frowned when he noticed the expression on Balin's face.

"What's happened?" said Bilbo, trying not to panic. He pictured all sorts of horrible things: an accident in the mines, an orc invasion, Fili and Kili, a large fire, and Thorin cancelling their first date...okay, mostly just Thorin cancelling their date.

Balin shook his head and raised his hands. "Nothing, Bilbo, nothing! Peace, my boy. I only wanted to wish you good luck for tonight."

His words were loaded with a subtle hint of...warning? Bilbo raised his eyebrows.

"Only," Balin began, relenting. "Only, please remember that Thorin truly loves and cares for you. And ignore the cheat notes."

"Excuse me?"

"Goodbye!" called Balin, who was powering out of the library. "Good luck!"

"But what does that mean? Balin! Oh, confound these wretched dwarves," he muttered, turning back to his books.

----------

Bofur was skeptical that Balin had warned Bilbo properly, and said so.

"Then you ought to have done it, Mister Bofur," Balin huffed. "Anyway, it is quite out of my hands now."

"Yes, they'll be starting soon, won't they?" Ori announced morosely. "Who's Thorin's second?"

"...Dwalin."

Bofur shook his head sadly.

------

Bilbo met Thorin at the front entrance, which Thorin had insisted upon even though Bilbo had looked at him dubiously. The great hall where they had confronted Smaug shortly before the burning of Laketown was gleaming; the golden floors possessing an inner glow that both fascinated and sickened Bilbo in turn. He hurried through this unsettling part of the hall, spotting Thorin waiting at the doors. He seemed to be looking down at something, and as Bilbo drew closer he saw the dwarf hastily shove a piece of parchment into his pocket.

"Hel-" Thorin's voice broke and he quickly cleared his throat. "Hello. Welcome. Thank you for accepting my attentions."

"Um," replied Bilbo. "Okay."

He brushed the weird greeting off and leaned in to kiss Thorin on the cheek. Thorin turned bright red, and blinked down at Bilbo with a dazed little smile on his face. "You look beautiful, my hobbit."

Bilbo didn't think so-- in dwarvish cast-offs as he was. "I make do," he demurred. "So? Where to?"

Thorin cleared his throat again, shuffling in his voluptuous furs. He looked every inch the king of Erebor tonight, and Bilbo was pleased if a little puzzled by it. He wondered if the formality of it all was what was making Thorin so nervous.

"We begin here, in the halls of my ancestors," the king intoned. He motioned to the floor grandly. "See how it shines? Erebor has always been the crown jewel of the Kingdoms of Arda, and much more impressive than those elvish hovels made of sticks and offal."

"Um," said Bilbo.

"In year 1999 of the Third Age, after the fall of Khazad-dûm...."

Bilbo wasn't entirely sure what was going on here, but figured he would let Thorin talk himself out and hope there was food by the end of it. Thorin's Very Important Person voice was in fine form tonight, and would have been sort of impressive had he not continued to sneak looks at the parchment in his pocket.

"...and ignore the cheat notes!"

Right.

"And now I present to you my finances," Thorin said grandly, startling Bilbo out of his daydreaming. Thorin reached into his other pocket and took out a thick packet of papers. Bilbo's jaw dropped, and he just barely managed to catch the offered bundle. "As you can see, you will never starve."

"Yes, um, right." He got a better hold on the papers and counted to ten, slowly, in his head. "Speaking of starving...."

"Yes, of course. BRING THE ELK," the king boomed, making him jump.

Ten dwarrow suddenly hustled out from the cold, carrying with them a large dead animal. They dropped it at Bilbo's feet. "I have hunted for us!" exclaimed Thorin.

"I...wow, that's...so...wonderful, Thorin." Bilbo was at a loss and his stomach was turning and what was going on here??? Then he looked at the animal properly.

"Thorin, whose elk is this?" he asked suspiciously.

Thorin's pleased look vanished at Bilbo's firm tone, and he had the sense to look sheepish. "It...nobody," he muttered.

Bilbo raised an eyebrow.

"It didn't have a collar?"

He groaned, but decided to be the better person and let it go. He would deal with Thranduil's temper tantrum later. For now, there was a dead animal to deal with. What is my life?

"Right, well, no use crying over dead elk." He sighed explosively. "We were talking about food...."

"YES I WILL NOW COOK FOR US."

Bilbo was so confused.

-----

"While we wait," Thorin said, sitting across from Bilbo at the rather cozy campfire where the skinned elk now rotated on a spit. "I will sing to you this ballad I have composed in your honor."

That...sounded surprisingly tame, and Bilbo decided to hear the dwarf out. This was proving to be the strangest date Bilbo had ever had, and though he did appreciate the sentiment behind the gestures, he would have better liked something simpler and with less official documents.

Thorin took out his harp, and Bilbo made himself comfortable. He loved Thorin's voice and his playing, and found that he was excited to hear what his dwarf had composed. The fire crackled merrily underneath the stars, as they took a moment to gaze at each other softly.

"'Twas in the Shireland, that Durin's son first saw his face, ne'er had he fallen so swift than in that green and gentle place."

Bilbo thought this was quite lovely, and smiled as the music rang into the beautiful night. Of course, things quickly went downhill after that.

"His feet were huge and ugly, and his voice could cut stone, and we partook of his pleasant pantry kept full though he lived alone. He was quite old to be unmarried–"

"Alright that's enough thank you!" he cut the song off, glaring. Thorin looked puzzled at Bilbo's discomfiture, and the hobbit dropped his head into his hands and sighed. "I think the food's ready."

"I SHALL FEED--"

"Yes, yes."

------

"...Thorin, what kind of seasoning did you use?"

"....seasoning?"

-----

Bilbo had a feeling that this next part of the date was supposed to include complimenting your love interest on their various dwarvish attributes. Thorin seemed to have stalled a bit at that one, scratching his head and muttering about beards as he examined his cheat notes carefully.

"I think you can skip that one," Bilbo finally told him, smiling at him helpfully.

Thorin instantly brightened. "My clever hobbit," he said. "Let us move on, then. Ahem. I have shown you my kingdom, told to you my history, summarized my finances, hunted for you, composed a ballad for you, and fed you. Now if it pleases my love, I will introduce to you my greatest treasures, of which I someday hope to count you among them."

Bilbo quite liked the sound of this, and really, sometimes Thorin was very romantic...and so he was pleased to follow Thorin back into the mountain and up to the royal wing. There, to his surprise, he found a group of very familiar people waiting in a line along the hall.

With a flourish, Thorin waved a hand at the assembly.

"I PRESENT TO YOU MY TREASURES."

"Ow," said Kili, rubbing his ear.

Thorin grabbed Bilbo's arm gently and tugged him over to Dís.

"This is my dear sister," he began. "She will protect you if ever I cannot. She will be your friend and confidant, and when I am away she will keep you warm at night."

Bilbo's eyebrows shot up.

"I will not," Dís objected. "And I'm already his friend."

"I'll keep you warm, Bilbo!" Nori called out from the end of the line.

"Moving on." Thorin cleared his throat. "My sister son, Fili, son of Vili– a credit to Durin's line. Defeater of Azog the defiler, winner of Dwarrow Weekly's Most Perfect Hair Award...."

"Uncle, please," Fili moaned, embarrassed.

"Very well. Onward."

They stopped in front of Kili and Thorin pursed his lips. "This is...."

Kili yawned and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He grinned at Bilbo guilelessly.

"...yes, well. And here we have my cousin Balin...."

The line ended with a very sympathetic looking Ori, who (like Bofur and Balin) reached out and patted Bilbo on the back. He appreciated their compassion, but would have preferred instead that they had given him a more detailed warning of the night's adventures beforehand.

After the introductions, they stood in front of the ragtag assembly; Thorin looking pleased as punch, and Bilbo beginning to relax now that it looked like this bizarre night was almost over.

"My hobbit, there is but one thing left to do to convey to you my everlasting devotion." Bilbo frowned. "I now present Dwalin, as my second."

"Your what?"

"I will prove myself to you as a warrior."

"You'll what?"

"BY DEFEATING MY LOVE IN BATTLE."

"Heads up!" shouted Bofur, as Thorin suddenly gave a ferocious cry and came at Bilbo with Orcrist. Bilbo slid out of the way just in time.

"Are you mad?!"

"I WILL NOW EXPRESS MY DEVOTION."

-----

"I have failed," Thorin moaned, his eyes wet with tears. He pressed a towel to his bleeding forehead as he slumped in a chair in Bilbo's rooms– looking completely desolate.

"I told you I was a fair hand at conkers," Bilbo said, somewhat unsympathetically. It had been a trying night, after all.

"I was supposed to show my prowess in battle," Thorin insisted. "And that I could protect you with my prodigious strength and ability as the greatest warrior in Erebor!"

"You'll remember that Dwalin didn't last much longer than you," Bilbo pointed out. "And you're both excellent warriors. I think you didn't really want to hurt me at all, Thorin, so you held back quite a bit."

"Of course I didn't want to hurt you!"

"Well, then, there you go."

Thorin shook his head in frustration. "It's not the way of things. It's tradition–!"

"Thorin," Bilbo interrupted him gently. He came over to his dwarf and ran gentle fingers through his hair, tilting his sore head up. "Did you enjoy yourself at all tonight?"

"Well." Thorin thought about it. "It wasn't so bad because I was with you."

"And that, my king, is exactly how I feel. So how about this: bugger tradition." Thorin gasped. "No, really. Throw it out. You're dating a hobbit, Thorin, the rules are different anyway."

"They are?" Thorin asked hopefully. Bilbo looked down at him and adored him very much.

"They are. In fact, it's tradition for hobbits to only court in the hobbit way, which is a given, seeing as no hobbit would ever date outside his race, except for me, of course. So let's honor my relations by doing it like they would do it in the Shire. Bit of a backwards honor, but there's no potential beheading, so our way is obviously the clear winner."

Thorin smiled. "Alright," he agreed. "But then how do hobbits date?"

"Mostly they just snog." Thorin gasped, scandalized. "But we'll start with a good meal and even better company."