#now i want coffee too except that my coffee is half coffee and half milk lmfao-- and its almost 12am so hmmmmm

[clownprincehoeshi]

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 6

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 7697

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Unknown number: So it’s true that you and Mingyu are together?

That’s the first thing you saw on your phone when you woke up on a Wednesday morning. Yeah, you thought it might be Jungkook, because you saw him recently and Hana didn’t keep her mouth shut. But huh, the audacity of this man to question you about your current romantic life. You were enraged so you thought to give a simple reply and block this number too.

Y/N: None of your business.

But then a text from another unknown number came.

Unknown number: He’s not the guy you think he is. Sooner or later you’ll find out. And stop blocking me, I just want to talk. Please!

Block again. That’s what you do, easier to keep your mind on the important things, and you hate confrontation. And honestly, this confrontation would be useless. Arriving at the office, you text Hana to meet you in the cafeteria for coffee and gossip.

Hana: How is my lovely wifeu this morning?

Y/N: Could be better.

Hana: Oh. What is it?

Y/N: Jungkook keeps trying to talk to me and I block all his numbers. Aaand, he said some shit about Gyu, not being the man I think he is.

Hana: Wow, that dude is jealous and would say anything. But wait a minute, isn’t he out of the army by now? It’s been a year and a half since he left, maybe more.

Y/N: Oh shit, you’re right.

Hana: Oh, oh. You think he will try to do shady stuff to ruin your relationship now that he’s back?

Y/N: I mean… I don’t know him like that, but one could never know.

You stare at each other and keep on nodding your heads, while sipping coffee and hot cocoa milk. You hope he won’t interfere, because you’re finally in a good place. Work is awesome, you just got a raise, you have a solid relationship, great friends and you’re healthy. There’s nothing more to wish for. Except maybe more time with your bf.

Seventeen has gotten so famous lately that Mingyu barely gets free days. And you see that he’s feeling bad for not giving you more attention, but he’s doing all he can. And you would rather breakup with him than see his career go to shit.

More and more gossip is coming out about all the members, and like usual, you try not to give it any importance. Especially now, when they are finishing filming In the soop and they’ll get a couple of free days. Mingyu planed a trip, just the both of you, but he didn’t say where, he wants to be a surprise.

So tomorrow morning you will both take the same plane to somewhere, but sit in different seats. Don’t want to give reasons for gossip.

When you get to the gate, it’s then when you find out the destination. He couldn’t have made a better choice, you always wanted to go to Tuscany. You communicated via text, avoided being seen talking face to face. You couldn’t wait to get there and feel at least a little freedom and act like a normal couple.

You’re finally in Italy. You keep your masks on, just to be sure, but walk together now. He rented a car to take you to your little town where you’ll have a house just for the two of you.

The place looks dreamy and you feel like tearing up. The house sits on a hill, you have a spectacular view. The wine yards are beautiful and there’s so much peace. The only person who will come daily to the house will be the person in charge with grocery shopping and cooking.

You could both cook, but you just want to relax these 3 days. It’s perfect, because the cook will come only in the morning, cook meals for the whole day, then leave after a few hours. You get to be alone the rest of the day.

As the Sun starts to come down from the sky and hide after the hills, you both lay on a lounge chair and enjoy the view. He has an arm over your shoulder, your head resting on his chest. His other hand is in your hair, playing with it.

Mingyu: You didn’t tell me Jungkook was trying to talk to you, or that you met him in a bar.

Y/N: Oh. He’s nothing in my life, so not something worth to mention. I didn’t hide it from you with bad intentions, just don’t wanna hear or talk about him ever again.

Mingyu: Ok, fair enough. But he wanted to see me, so we met. Afterall, we have been friends for years and I thought the least I could do for the sake of our friendship, was to listed to what he has to say.

Y/N: Still, I’d rather not talk about him.

Mingyu: But shouldn’t you feel the other way? Like…if you’re over him, talking about what happened should not bother you anymore.

You sit and look at him and you don’t understand where this is coming from.

Y/N: You must understand that we are different people, and we react differently, right? What’s ok for you, might not be ok for me. This is just may way of leaving the past behind. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I know that I don’t wanna see him again.

Mingyu: What if you meet him someplace by accident, like you already have?

Y/N: I’ll ignore, I’ll act like he doesn’t exist.

Mingyu: He told me he’ll fight for you.

At that, your face shifted from normal to disgusted.

Y/N: Huh????? See? This is why I avoid it, I don’t want to hear shit like this. I don’t fucking care what he wants or thinks. He has ZERO chances with me. The fucking audacity!!

With each sentence, you were getting more and more worked up, angrier and louder. Mingyu never seen you like this, he was used to you being calm and relaxed. Never angry, though there are a lot of things that irritate you, but you always try to keep your composure.

Mingyu: Babe, you’re getting angry, it’s the last thing I want. I understand how you feel and why you feel like this, so I will agree with you and drop the subject Jungkook. You’re right, he’s not worth it. And I have so much trust in us that he can’t do shit. Now come give me a kiss.

And he pulls you but your hands and you land on top of him, with your lips on his. He feels so warm and nice that you give in. Oh, how fast can this man make you forget what you were talking about. He’s absolutely insane for this.

Mingyu: This is all you’re getting, though. We need to be decent while we’re outside.

Y/N: Oh really? So you’re playing hard to get, mister Kim?

He nodded and kissed you again. He sure knew how to tease you and push your buttons. So you ran your hand over his chest, going down over his abs, down on his cock that was rock hard. You started to massage over his length, over his pants and made him moan into your mouth.

Mingyu: Don’t do that, baby! Someone might see us.

Y/N: There is literally no way someone could see. And we’re not fucking right now, I’m just touching you.

You know he loves when you take control, it makes him putty in your hands. You continue rubbing his length over his pants slowly, while kissing sensually. His breathing started to become faster, his chest moving up and down with more intensity. Moans and whimpers were like music to your ears and you wanted to hear more.

Mingyu: Ahh, baby, feels so good. But if you don’t stop soon, I’ll cum.

Y/N: Oh? My little boy will cum in his pants? How messy.

His eyes rolled up and made his hips move along with your hand, trying to get more friction. He was a moaning mess.

Y/N: You probably already made a mess in your pants, leaking precum everywhere. And now you’ll make an even bigger mess.

You started to move your lips to his jaw, then to his neck, licking slowly. Then you reached his ear and started to whisper filthy words.

Mingyu: P-please! I want to fuck you, not cum like this. Please, baby! Let me fuck you.

But you kept on rubbing him, faster now, and ignored what he had to say.

Y/N: Bad boys like you don’t deserve to cum inside a pussy. You deserve to cum inside your pants.

Mingyu: No, no no! I was good. I am good.

Y/N: How? Mentioning that bitch, Jungkook? You think I wanted to hear his name on our trip?

And you put more pressure over his clothed cock. He was going crazy.

Mingyu: Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! Please! I need to fuck you, I need to cum.

Y/N: You’re so needy and pathetic, begging me to let you fuck me.

You felt his cock twitch at those words. He was just melting in your hands now, he felt his orgasm coming fast like an avalanche.

Y/N: Are you really going to cum in your pants, like a useless bitch?

He was shaking his head so fast, he couldn’t make out words.

Y/N: Pathetic.

And he came hard, making a big mess in his pants. You could see the wet spot. He was still panting pretty heavy, so you caressed his pretty face and told him he did really good.

Mingyu: You’re completely crazy and I love you. Never change.

As he gets up and walks inside the house to take a shower, he says: But you will be the one begging tonight.

Your eyes went big and round. You hoped he will fuck you so good that you’ll beg and you were sure your panties were soaked, hearing him say that.

The rest of the trip was really peaceful. You went into town just once, to take some pictures. Time went by pretty fast, obviously. Of course it will go fast when you’re with someone you love and you’re having a good time.

When you arrived to Seoul it was just different. Something felt off. There were ridiculously many fans waiting for Mingyu at the airport, and much more paparazzi. You decided to go before him and he would come out 15 minutes later.

You didn’t know how he could manage all this frenzy of people, flashes, noise. He’s a hero in your eyes. You called a taxi and went straight home.

Right before he would go out to meet the crowd of people waiting for him, he turned his phone on. There were probably hundreds of messages and emails. From the members, friends, family, managers, staff and media people who were trying to find out the truth.

Seventeen group chat

Jeonghan: Oh no, no. Mingyu, you’re in trouble

Seungcheol: Why the hell did you go out without your mask, you stupid tree?

Seokmin: Guys, I think he’s on the plane right now

Wonwoo: Yeah, he is. And I think he has no idea what’s going on

Hoshi: Wait, what?

Thing is that pictures of you two were all around the internet. You were still wearing your mask, so nobody knew who you were, but Mingyu took his mask off a couple of times to taste wine at different shops. And someone recognized him and took pictures.

When you turned your phone on while in the taxi, your heart dropped to your feet. You called  Hana right away.

Y/N: Haaanaaa! Did you see?

Hana: Hell, yes! The whole world saw the pictures. But don’t worry, your face doesn’t show and I didn’t see any photos of you two holding hands or stuff like that. His company will come up with something, I’m sure.

Y/N: You’re just saying that to make me feel better. This is not ok, this is a shitshow. I mean, they have proof, actual proof, not like in Joshua’s case when they had nothing. Damn, they will mob him when he’s going to face that crowd. It was so crazy, you should have seen.

Mingyu was close to shit his pants at the realization. He called Wonwoo, because he felt like his brain would eplode if he didn’t hear his best friend right now, so he sat on a chair to calm down and pressed call.

Wonwoo: My god, Gyu! Where are you?

Mingyu: I just landed and I am sitting for a while before going out. I can’t believe this is happening.

Wonwoo: We can’t do anything about that now, first thing we need is get you out of there safely. The company sent more security, because it seems the situation got out of hands. There are hundreds of people there waiting, Mingyu.

Mingyu: I’m fucked.

Wonwoo: Did you see the photos?

Mingyu: Noo, I am so scared to look.

Wonwoo: Then don’t look. We have two advantages though.

Mingyu: In this situation? I can’t imagine what they could be, really.

Wonwoo: So there is no picture with Y/N’s face, she was wearing a mask and a cap. Nobody could guess if she’s Korean or a foreigner. And there was nothing physical between you two captured, so that’s a good thing.

Mingyu: How do we know they don’t have more photos, more incriminating?

Wonwoo: We can just hope they don’t. Let me call our manager. Don’t go out until I tell you it’s ok to go, ok?

Mingyu: Got it. Thanks, Wonu, I love you!

You were texting Mingyu, trying to make sure he was ok, but he was not replying. You thought he had enough on his plate and you will wait for him to call you when he can. Being inside the safety of your apartment felt good, almost like dropping a heavy weight off your shoulders. But couldn’t stop worrying about him. This will have consequences on his career and it made you cry in frustration.

There was nothing you could do now, just wait for a sign from him, and hopefully he will come with a solution. Videos from the airport where he indeed got mobbed were spreading like fire. It made you angry and useless.

Come on, Mingyu, call me, text me back, anything! Just when things were perfect, this shit had to happen. I fucking hate people.

He called, close to midnight, just for 5 minutes, to tell you he was ok and that they had a meeting with the managers to  find a solution to this. He told you not to worry, because the company will fix it. The call made you feel a little better. You just hoped it will not impact his career.

As you were trying to fall asleep, your phone was buzzing. Too sleepy and worried after the day you just had, you didn’t think to check on the caller id so you answered.

Y/N: Yes. Mingyu?

There was silence for a few moments.

Y/N: Baby!

Then, a laughter and a voice.

Unknown number: Baby? That’s how you call him? But you used to call me that too. I’m a little jealous now.

Y/N: Jungkook? Wtf

Jungkook: That’s right.

Y/N: Just fucking leave me alone, don’t contact me anymore. Are you fucking dumb?

Jungkook: What’s the matter, you didn’t like my welcoming surprise?

Y/N: Huh?

Jungkook: You’re famous now, you’re in papers, on Twitter, Instagram, Dispatch.

Without responding to that, you hang up and blocked this number too. It was too much, after that shit of a day. You were too tired to even think, so you went back to sleep, telling yourself that you will talk about this tomorrow with Hana.

Next day you couldn’t wait to tell you friend what Jungkook told you on the phone. Rushing into her office, you grabbed her hand and took her to the laundry room to have privacy.

Y/N: I think fucking Jungkook is involved in this whole photos and revealing shit.

Hana: How do you know?

Y/N: He called last night and I was to sleepy to realize and answered. He asked if I liked his welcoming surprise and that now I am famous on the internet.

Hana: Shit. This is getting wilder and wilder. I don’t even know if I should talk to Jaehyun or Eunwoo about this, they are still friends with the jerk.

Y/N: No, don’t tell them anything. We can’t trust them right now.

After a few days, Hybe released a statement, saying you were a local guide, just helping Mingyu around town. Some bought it, some didn’t, but till there was nothing more they could do. There was no other proof about your identity or your relationship

Things pretty much dialed down in the last weeks, you two just needed to be extra careful now, even when he came to your place. He still didn’t know about Jungkook’s implication in all this and you feared that he will put people to survey your complex building and catch Mingyu. While you were pondering over what was the bet way to go, your bf called.

Y/N: Hey, Mingoo!

Mingyu: Hey, princess! I’m going to be quick, just wanted to let you know about Jeonghan’s surprise birthday party. You’re invited.

Y/N: Aww, how sweet. I miss Hani.

Mingyu: Whoa whoa, what?

Y/N: He’s so sweet.

Mingyu: Am I now sweet? Are you going to leave me for Jeonghan?

Y/N: You’re the sweetest. And I’m not leaving you for him, unless he proposes to me.

It was always fun teasing your bf like this, he never got upset and never took your jokes seriously, because he knew you were just teasing. He was used to it from his members.

Now, Mingyu’s only worry was to keep you and Hoshi away from each other. He wanted to avoid a conversation between you two that might lead to confrontation, and he knew Hoshi had no idea you were a couple and that he just knew you were hurting his younger friend and using him. Also, Mingyu knew you hate confrontations and that in the tiniest case that you get angry, it’s going to be the end of the tiger. You looked like an angel, but you could become a demon if provoked.

Too bad you couldn’t bring Hana to the party. But after a few minutes at the venue, your worries dissipated after Mingyu Left Jun in charge with you. You know, keep you company until he gets back soon. He sad he had something to do.

You liked Jun a lot, you had similar personalities. That’s why you clicked right away when you first met. You thought of him as your big brother. Every time you’d meet Jun, he’s ask you about your travels. He was very interested in that topic, as he always found traveling all over the world fascinating. You haven’t been to that many places, but there were enough countries and enough stories to keep the conversation alive. And you would ask him about his life as an idol.

As Mingyu was taking the elevator to go at the ground floor, he received a text: Meet me in the parking lot in the back. He got there and spotted the car he was supposed to get into.

Mingyu: Be quick, it’s Jeonghan’s birthday party.

Jungkook: I want you to breakup with Y/N.

Mingyu started laughing at that insanity.

Mingyu: Yeah, sure, whatever, Jungkook. I’m going back now.

Jungkook: I have more photos of you two. With her face in them too. With you two being lovey dovey. If you don’t breakup, I’ll post them everywhere. I mean it.

Mingyu: Jungkook, I don’t know why you’re taking me as a fool right now. It’s not like you don’t know me. I’m not afraid of your little schemes. I’m sure the company won’t be very pleased by your threats if they found out. You, trying to mess with their business? I’m their number one idol at the moment, I bring them the most money. Now I suggest you think before opening your mouth again. Have a good evening and try to get a life. You lost her, get over it.

And like that, Mingyu got off the car to go and find you. His heart was beating crazy fast in his chest, he could hear it. When he got his eyes on you, he saw you smiling with Jun and Vernon and a drunk Hoshi who bumped into you. Mingyu was walking slowly to your direction and it took 3 seconds for him to stop in shock from the scene in front of him.

Hoshi just threw his whole glass all over your dress. Not from bumping into you, not by accident. No no. he did it intentionally, while standing still in front of you, looking into your eyes. He even told you: You’re a bitch for using Mingyu.

You didn’t need time to process what happened, it was like you knew before he raised his glass to pour his drink on your clothes. You knew he will do that and you were already thinking about 100 ways of how to kill him.

You went straight to the weak spot. His balls. Oh yeah. You didn’t hit hard, didn’t need too. Men are weak. One little hit and they’re on the floor. And indeed, he fell, trying to keep his screams quiet.

Jun and Vernon immediately checked on you, offered napkins so you can clean your dress. But you were too busy standing over Hoshi, watching him cupping his balls, on his knees.

Y/N: Well look at you now, on your knees for me.

Hoshi: Why did you do that?

Y/N: You want more? Huh?

Mingyu came and got you by your waist before you could commit murder. It made him smirk a little, seeing you so brave. At that moment, he knew he had to do something to fix this Hoshi situation, but he didn’t know what.

Mingyu lifted you bridal style, to take you to the restroom and help you clean your dress. As you were being carried away, you gave Hoshi a mean look that could cut skin, and gestured him that you’have your eyes on him. He was actually afraid of you now. Dino was on the ground, net to Hoshi, laughing his ass off, while making sure his friend’s balls were still intact.

In the restroom, you tried in vain to make your dress look presentable, but it was all in vain. Then Mingyu remembered you were in the Hybe building and they had outfits and clothes there, from the girl bands.

Mingyu: Let’s go find you something in the changing room downstairs.

Y/N: Oh, thank god.

Mingyu: You think maybe you were too rough with the poor guy?

Y/N: At least, now he knows not to push my buttons. I mean, what’s his deal? He’s always been rude to me.

Jun helped Hoshi get up, asking why he threw his drink on you, and Hoshi simply said: Aren’t you guys tired of her using Mingyu?

Jun: Using Mingyu? How is she using him?

Hoshi: She’s friendzoned him for years, using him to make her e jealous.

Jun: My god, how drunk are you? How many fingers am I holding up?

Hoshi: Haha, very funny. Your middle finger. Are you flipping me off now?

Jun: Ok, so not that drunk. But where did you get that crazy idea?

Hoshi: Mingyu?

Jun: Were you drunk when he told you? Because they have been a couple for more than a year.

Hoshi: No, they haven’t.

Jun: Yeah, they have, everybody here knows that. Ask anyone.

Hoshi pouts and looks at Dino, who is next to him.

Hoshi: Dino, is Jun lying?

Dino: No. How didn’t you know this?

Then Hoshi goes to find Wonwoo. He fells he can trust him, he’s honest and dependable, plus, he’s roomies with Mingyu.

Hoshi: Wonu!! Tell me.

Wonwoo: What?

Hoshi: Are Mingyu and Y/N a couple?

Wonwoo looks at him confused, trying to figure out what’s his deal.

Wonwoo: Have you not been on the same planet as us in the last year?

Hoshi: Come on, you’re the only one I can trust to tell me the truth. Mingyu told me they are just friends and that he’s been chasing her but she’s rejecting him.

Wonwoo: Hoshi, I have no idea how much you’ve been drinking, but you should maybe stop, it’s affecting your brain. They have been together since last year.

Now, in Hoshi’s mind there are millions of thought flying like math equations he can’t resolve. He feels stupid and left out. He can’t understand why Mingyu would lie to him and how come he’s been so oblivious to the situation.

He needed to find a place to lie down and collect his thought. He grabbed some water and went down the stairs one floor. He knew there was a couch near the dressing room. He would lay on it and reflect.

As he laid on the couch, he could hear a conversation in the dressing room. He realized it was you and Mingyu. And he realized that you were crying. He felt like shit. It was his fault.

Y/N: Gyu, what if he’ll really post those photos?

Mingyu: We don’t even know if he has any. And I just know he won’t, even if he had them.

Y/N: I can’t believe he’s capable of doing this. After all this time, he is still hung up on this. Wasn’t enough for him to just leave me hanging like that, without a word, when he left to the army? Now he wants to ruin both of our lives.

Mingyu: He’s just jealous you’re with me now. But I think he’ll come out of it soon, I’ll make sure to have Eunwoo and Jaehyun talk to him. He needs to stop.

Y/N: I don’t wanna be with him, Gyu. I want you.

Hoshi realizes it’s not about him, and that you’re not crying because of him. This makes him feel better. But what he’s hearing it’s news to him. He thought you were the one who left Jungkook, and after that, you used Mingyu to make Jungkook’s life shitty. He has no idea what to think anymore. Then he gets up and walks in the room.

Hoshi: So you two are together.

Y/N: Oh, not this guy now.

Hoshi: Y/N, I apologize, I think I went too far?

Mingyu: You think? What the hell, man. Throwing your drink at her.

Hoshi: You mean at your gf.

Y/N: I don’t have energy for this, I wanna go home.

As you get up to leave, Hoshi grips your hand and looks at you with a pleading look in his eyes.

Hoshi: Y/N, I’m really sorry, it was all a misunderstanding.

You shake your hand off his and continue walking to the elevator. Mingyu follows you.

Hoshi: Mingyu, we need to talk.

Mingyu: Tomorrow. Tell the others I went home because I didn’t feel well, please.

That night, you both took a shower and went to bed at your apartment. You felt tired. Not your body, but your mind. At least you fell asleep feeling safe in Mingyu’s arms. Somehow, he is always there for you and he always knows what to do and what to say. He always reassures you.

Waking up in your boyfriend’s arms was the best way to start your day. But today, a headache was bothering you so you kind of wanted to be alone and not bothered. He stayed to make you breakfast and make sure you eat and drink some tea to calm down your pain, then he left to work. They have a lot to prepare for the launch of their new album.

Checking your phone that was on silent since last night when you went to bed, you see a new text from a new number: Hey Y/N everything ok? I haven’t seen you after you went to the restroom last night, I got worried.

It didn’t say who it was, but you could only think it was either Jun or Vernon? They were the two whom you spent a decent amount of time, talking. So you text back: I’m fine, thanks for asking. Nothing major. But who is this?

The reply came pretty fast: Your bestie, Jun. already forgot about me?

Y/N: Awww, Junhui, so happy it’s you.

Jun: Sorry about Hoshi, we talked after you left and it seems it was a big misunderstanding. He felt like shit. Did you leave because of him?

Y/N: Oh…yes and no. There were other reasons, but it’s something personal and complicated.

Jun: Well just know that if you wanna talk about it, I am here. I consider you a friend. You always treated me so good and you’re really an awesome person

Y/N: You trying to make me cry?

Jun: It’s ok to cry, though. Let it out if it happens. Anyway, we are at the company, we need to start dance rehearsal so I’ll let you go. But seriously, I am here if you need anything. I’ll give Mingyu a hug for you

Y/N: You’re the best! Don’t get hurt, ok?

Knowing the next few weeks you will barely get to see your bf, you mentally prepared for it. Also, you and Jun got closer as friends, texting everyday and even facetiming. Turns out he doesn’t have many friends over here, just like you. Plus, you both have your families in other countries, so it helped to understand each other better.

One day you talked to Hana to go for a hike next weekend and the night before you mentioned that to Jun. he got so excited and asked if you needed one more person, because he loves that type of activity.

Y/N: Of course you can come. I would of asked you, but I know you’re busy these days.

Jun: Yeah, I am, but tomorrow I have some time actually. I just have to be at the studio after 6 PM. Mingyu’s not coming?

Y/N: No, he has a shoot in the morning.

Jun: Too bad. Can I bring Hoshi?

Y/N: Fuck nooo!!

Jun: Joke joke.

You think you should let Mingyu know the new dynamics of your little hiking trip, so you send a text late at night that your new bestie, Jun will come with.

Mingyu: Ok, babe. But take care of him, he’s a big baby. And wear masks, make sure you’re all safe.

Next day, the sky is such a pretty light blue, no cloud in sight. The hike is slow but pleasant and you’re happy to see that Hana and Jun are getting along just great. As you are getting closer to the top, you think it would be a good idea to find a nice spot where you can sit and have a picnic.

Hana: Ok, now let’s dig. Enjoy, everyone!

Y/N: It’s been such a long time since I’ve been out like this. I love it.

Jun: Who made these sandwiches?

Y/N: I did. They suck?

Jun: Noooo, they’re so delicious.

Y/N: So, Jun. The reason we did this hike today is because of recent stuff that’s been happening in my life. I needed a break from the usual and a pretty spot where I could have some peace and quiet, to think. I guess I should tell you what happened.

And after you tell him everything, his mouth drops. You told him everything, starting from you moving to Seoul, to the night of Jeonghan’s birthday.

Jun: I had no idea Jungkook could be such a dick. I’m sorry this is happening to you, you don’t deserve this.

Y/N: Well, I got myself into this mess, but yeah, he’s still a dick.

Jun: Still, I don’t think he would reveal those photos he claims he has. It would mess up not only with you and Mingyu, but the whole group and the company. This would not put him in a good position at all, trust me.

Hana: Now, she has to be even more careful about her relationship. Who knows what Jungkook is capable of. And the funny thing is that acting this way, it will only push her away, not get her back to him. Idiot.

Jun: Have you tried to talk to him? Maybe get some closure, remain in good terms, even friends?

Y/N: I have not, because I tend to cut people out, after they hurt me. I mean, he did it knowing what he was doing, I am not here to police his actions and scold him every time, he’s an adult. I shouldn’t educate a grown man. He fucked up, goodbye.

After a few more minutes of sitting in silence, looking at the view, it was time to head back home. There is no way you would give Jungkook a chance, even as friends. A chance to what, fuck up again? After he planed that shit in your trip with Mingyu? No way. Plus, you respect your bf and would not become friends with an ex who hurt both of you. This is the only thing you have on your mind and you’re walking back down to your car.

It's the end of October and Seventeen just released their new album. Incredible success hits them, tours all over the world planed for the next year and a lot more. Ugh, does this mean I’ll have to get a job as Mingyu’s shoes to be able to spend time with him?

They attend award show after award show, winning everything and celebrating with the other fellow idols after each event. There was a Friday night when it happened. The beginning of the end. You were looking at Jaehyun’s private account stories, from the after party. In one of the videos, you could clearly see your bf, having another girl’s arms wrapped around his neck, trying to kiss him.

Your heart dropped to your heels, face feeling like fire. You felt you could puke right then. No, this is not happening. He was not trying to push her away. He was smiling and he had flirty eyes. No, you’re not doing this, Kim Mingyu. Not you!

Why wouldn’t he, though? He’s handsome, tall, smart, rich. He has everything. And you’re nobody. Why would he settle for you, when he could have any woman? And with how much little time he had for you lately, no wonder he’s looking for company from others.

You feel so stupid for actually believing you were ever good enough for him. Tears are filling your eyes, rolling down your hot cheeks, as you call Hana. She calms you down before texting Taehyun to ask what’s going on with Mingyu.

Hana: Girl, he’s saying he has no idea where Mingyu is and that he’s definitely not at the event anymore.

Y/N: He left with that girl.

Hana: Now let’s not get crazy. He might be in his hotel room, sleeping.

Y/N: With her.

Hana: Ughh!! Let’s not overreact, ok? We’ll find out what happened.

You tried calling him, but no answer and no text back, the whole night. Clearly, you couldn’t sleep well, as your mind kept making up scenarios. While trying to fill your mind with other things, you hear your phone ringing in the morning. It was him. You answered and didn’t say anything.

Mingyu: Baby? Can you hear me?

Y/N: Yes. What do you want?

Mingyu: What did I do?

Y/N: I think you know better than me.

Mingyu: Wait…you’re really upset with me. Because I didn’t reply last  night? I passed out from sleep, I don’t even know when or how I got to my room. I’m sorry!

Y/N: And what about the girl you were flirting last night at the party? You were all over each other.

Mingyu: What? Who?

Y/N: Exactly. Who.

And you send the video of Taehyun’s story. There he is, with her arms holding his waist, his hands on her shoulders, just talking and laughing.

Mingyu: Omg, baby. I don’t remember any of that, I swear. You know that no matter how drunk I get, I can keep myself in check and I can remember everything the next day. But this time is all a blur.

Y/N: Of course you would say that. God, I’m so stupid. You must think I’m so stupid, right?

Mingyu: Nooo! Stop! This is a conversation we need to have in person.

Y/N: Why, you think you can fool me with those puppy eyes? Won’t work, Kim Mingyu.

Mingyu: Please, this is insanity. I can’t believe this is happening. Please, let me see you and explain. Or at least find a way to explain and remember what happened.

Thinking if you should give him a chance to explain, you finally respond with yes. But you’ll need to go see him at his work tomorrow when he arrives back to Seoul. The whole day he’s trying his best to give you attention with texts and selfies and updates of his whereabouts.

He’s doing this because he feels guilty. Because he is guilty. Fuck! He’s trying to get away with it. He hasn’t changed. Maybe he changed for a while, but he’s back to his fuckboy behavior

Next day it’s time to meet with him. Walking the hallways of the Hybe building, you see some familiar faces, but no one you ever talked with. You sit at the cafeteria and wait for him. When he arrives, he stands in the door and signals you to follow him. Of course, you can’t trust to be seen together at this early hour in the day, there’s a lot of staff now.

He takes you to a room that looks like a mini studio, where there are musical instruments and a couch. You both sit and you can tell he’s really nervous. Afraid he might see your swollen and red eyes, you avoid looking at him directly.

Mingyu: You’re not even going to look at me?

Y/N: Say what you have to say, stop wasting even more of my time.

Mingyu: Ouch, that hurt.

Y/N: Good, then we feel the same now.

Trying to take your hands into his, you pull away. You feel disgusted being touched by the same hands that touched another woman.

Mingyu: I swear nothing happened. I don’t know how, but I don’t remember even talking to her.

Y/N: How are you sure nothing happened if you don’t even remember? Come on, Mingyu, don’t take me as a fool.

Mingyu. I…

And he drops his face to the floor, defeated. He doesn’t know what to even say to you in this situation, he feels defeated. He feels like he’s stuck in quicksand and the more he’s trying to talk, the deeper he slips. You move your eyes on him, filled with tears. You’ll be damned if you let them fall. All of the sudden, someone enters the room.

Jungkook: Hey, guys. Couldn’t notice you came in here and I have something to show you.

He takes his phone out and gives it to you so you can shuffle between photos and videos.

Y/N: What the fuck do you even want now? I don’t wanna look in your fucking phone!

Jungkook: It will help with answers to your questions.

Not thinking about it, you take the phone and look at the photos. Swiping trough them, anger starts rising up. And it’s rising and rising. About to explode when you get to a video. In the video, you can clearly see and hear Mingyu and a girl kissing and talking about fucking.

Not wanting to spend another second in that snake nest, you get up and put the phone is Mingyu’s hands.

Y/N: Get fucked! Both of you!

You rush out the door. Walking towards the elevator, you see Hoshi walking in your direction and hear Mingyu calling after you. An idea appears in your head, and as you and Hoshi walk closer and closer, once you reach him, you push him into the wall and kiss him hard, so Mingyu can see.

It worked, because you hear him yell: What the fuck!!

After you finished your mission,  you pull away from Hoshi, give him a sexy wink, then you continue walking away. Mingyu comes after you and gets in the elevator.

Mingyu: That was really unnecessary.

Y/N: And you, cheating on me, was?

Mingyu: Something must of happened with me, I don’t remember anything of that. You have to believe me.

Y/N: Yeah, something did happen with you. You tripped and fell into her vagina. Right?

Mingyu: Why did Jungkook have the video, in the first place? I think he’s involved in this.

Y/N: Yeah, involved in like you had a 3some. It’s the only way I see it, because you are no better than him.

You’re so worked up and mad right now, that you turn to him and put your finger in his face, pointing at him and getting closer and closer with each step you take.

Y/N: Listen, you cheating potato! I don’t care anymore. There is nothing you could say or do that would help right now or ever. I don’t want to see you anymore, so don’t you dare call me or text me. It’s over. We’re done. Go and have fun with your bestie Jungkook. Go and continue fucking all the girls in Seoul, go ahead!

The elevator stops at the ground floor, you get out and he stays there, with tears in his eyes. He knows he lost you, knows he was stupid, knows there is no way you will ever listen to what he has to say. As he’s watching you walk away from him, he feels like everything happens in slow motion. Tears start to run down his face now, as the elevator door are closing.

What about you? Well. You’re not surprised that your eyes are now dry. No tears wanting to come out, no sorrow, just anger and disappointment. Seeing the proof with your own eyes, it kind of made you stronger. It gave you closure. Yeah, it was weird Jungkook had the photos, but as far as you’re concerned, they both might be in this together. All this might have been their game, playing with you.

No, I need to stop thinking about them. I’ll be ok, things will be ok.

You know you might cry for a while, be sad. It’s normal after a breakup. Just need to be around friends, keep the mind busy, focus on work and do everything in your power to not engage with those jerks. Maybe even make new friends, wouldn’t hurt. Maybe take a vacation and visit your home town and spend time with your friends and sister. Get away from all this.

Of course you have blocked every number and account where Mingyu could get a hold of you. Still, he has been trying to talk and meet, but you kept your ground. Yeah, you still love him, but it will transform into something else once your brain completely understands that.

Two days after the breakup, Jun calls to check up on you.

Jun: Y/N, what happened? Hoshi told me some crazy story.

Y/N: Umm, me and Mingyu broke up.

Jun: Noooo! Why?

Y/N: Basically, he cheated and I saw the proof, photos, videos and all.

Jun: Jeez!!! I don’t know what to say.

Y/N: You don’t have to say anything, don’t want you to pick sides either. You’re practically family.

Jun: I don’t want to pick sides ether, you’re right, but still, what he did is fucked up. He hasn’t changed, though we all hoped, for his sake. I’m sorry, Y/N. How are you feeling?

Y/N: Not ok, but I’ll survive.

Jun: Damn, I wish I could help, but it’s none of my business.

Y/N: Thanks Jun, I appreciate. I plan to take some vacation, go to my hometown and spend some time there.

Jun: How long will you be there?

Y/N: 2 weeks, more or less. Depends how long will my manager allow.

Jun: Will it make you feel better if I tell you how Mingyu got into trouble today?

Y/N: Actually, yes.

Jun: So it seems that last night he got really drunk and barely slept, and today he came early at work, still drunk. He did so poorly with the dance practice that everyone scolded him. Hoshi went crazy at him, even told him something like “you think you’ll get her back if you’re going to act pathetic?”. And that made me realize something happened with you and him. But I have to say, he looks pretty down, not like himself.

Y/N: That’s not my problem anymore. He made his bed.

Jun: Ok, bestie. I have to get back to rehearsal now. Hope to hear from you soon and try to have fun while you’re on vacation, ok? Send pictures!

While on vacation, you kept in touch with Jun, exchanging fun photos and texting. He didn’t bring up Mingyu anymore, he knew you’d hate it. He also knew you were a mess and hurting a lot inside, even though you were trying to hide it. He made sure to send lots of cute cats videos to make you smile.

Felt good to be back home. You stayed the whole 2 weeks at your sister’s house. You’re her only friend and it breaks your heart that you have to leave her alone again. Well, she has her husband, but he doesn’t really have conversations with her. You’ll make sure that when you go back to Seoul, you will call her more often.

You missed your favorite foods, your favorite places. The city feels different, yet, the smells here are the same. I should cook some of my traditional food for Hana and Jun. Taking walks alone in this city always felt awkward, but now it feels refreshing. It’s like you’re a tourist who’s discovering a new place, trying to let go of a love that broke you in pieces.

[tackyink]

So! Thanks so much @sanzos for asking, I would never pass up an opportunity to bring a snippet of my daily idiocy to your dashboards.

There's a cafeteria where I work. A cafeteria where it's universally acknowledged (except by the owner, maybe?) that its coffee tastes like ass. The pastries and sandwiches are good, but for months I've been hearing the coffee is bad bad. When the IT guys and the Marketing girls to go a nearby coffee shop they tell me "hey, we're going to the coffee shop, do you want a good coffee?" Nobody likes it.

Thing is, I'm a tea person. The first day I got there, I asked for tea. It was disgusting. The next day I asked for a different one. It was worse. Undrinkable levels of bad, which was very weird because the brand of their tea bags is fairly good. I did not understand what was happening, nor did I care to because I was busy enough trying to adjust to the new job. I just drank water all day every day.

Weeks went by, summer heat kicked in, and I have a ten minute walk uphill every morning to my workplace, so one day I asked for an iced coffee. Because the point of iced coffee is not to get good coffee, but something watery brown and cold to sip on and cool down, this became my new normal. I tried not to think about what I'd do when the heat relented, but this week I've had to face the music at last.

An important factor in this story is that I never sweeten tea or coffee.

One of the last days I asked for an iced coffee in the morning, my supervisor brought me a latte unprompted. He's very nice. I don't like lattes, but I decided to drink it anyway because I wanted to be nice too. Now, admitedly, the last time I drank one I was maybe 18 and it destroyed my GI tract for half a day, and last year I took a sip from one wrong order, so when I drank some of that one and I thought the taste was off, I thought maybe it was just me. I just don't know how lattes taste. I would have assumed that they didn't have a slightly rancid, cured cheese aftertaste, but who am I to judge the tastebuds of milk drinkers.

I lasted three sips before I snuck to the toilet to throw it away. I also had a fizzy sensation in my stomach for an hour because that's what lattes do to the body that's been thrust upon me in this lifetime.

Another day went by, and I decided to try the chai latte the cafeteria lady had recommended me. It tasted good, though it was extremely sweet, and I'd asked for oat milk, which made it sweeter. I looked up the brand they were using and the composition of the mix, and found out it's mostly sugar with added chai aroma (???!?!!!?) and brown coloring and tea extract instead of tea (WHY). Not something I wanted to drink every day.

I bit the bullet this Tuesday at last, figured that maybe they'd just had a bad tea day a few months ago and ordered one.

It was vomit-inducing disgusting. My brain couldn't stop torturing me with the taste for the remainder of the day. It was extremely bitter, without any distinctive tea flavor, and somehow salty. It went down the toilet too.

Okay, I thought, they've clearly burned the tea. They pour boiling water and toss the tea bag in right away. Next day I'll try again, ask that they give me the teabag to go so I could wait for the water to cool down a bit.

The second morning arrives and I wait. I think about sipping on the plain hot water just in case, but I get distracted, promptly forget about it and put the tea bag inside. That's fine. I take a sip.

It's not bitter anymore! Win! They were burning the tea!

Unfortunately, it was still salty with an undescribable flavor of depression room and unwashed pile of clothes.

At this point, I'm 2.30 euros in and sunk cost fallacy, well, sinks in. I'm inordinately invested in this. Why are people at this workplace living like this? How the fuck is this possible. I refuse to accept this. Is the water funky? The drinking fountains are fine. The water cannot be contaminated, there are chemistry labs here, they would've noticed if something was wrong with the water supply. Dad, former bartender, suggests that the coffee machine may not have been properly cleaned. After all, they use salt to descale it. That could explain the cheesy latte.

Today was the third day, and I came in with a plan and my own tea bag from home. The idea was to ask for tea in the same way as the day before, take the tea from the cafeteria home, and use my own tea there with their water. This way I could find out where the problem was.

But also, today I remembered to take a sip after letting the water cool down a bit.

IT WAS FUCKING RANCID.

Guys, I could smell it before I drank it. It was slightly salty and had a rank taste, like something way past expiry date. Either our water supply is fucked, or the coffee machine is. Just to complete the experiment, I sacrifice my tea bag to make a potion of nope that, you guessed it, went down the toilet as well.

I had told my supervisor about my predicament the previous days, and today I told him that I had in fact confirmed that the problem was the water, most likely a coffee machine with bad filters. He said he'd try to find a way to delicately rely it to the owner of the cafeteria.

At noon he drops by my desk, thoughtful, with a latte in hand. He says that now that I've told him, he realizes that that was it. That there's an odd aftertaste to the coffee, but since he adds milk and sweetener to it, he never minded it much, and most people do the same. Since I take everything plain, I was hit with the full brunt of it from the first day. He then says that everybody had assumed that the coffee was bad quality, but nobody had thought about water being the issue. Now I've cursed him with Knowledge that God never intended for humans to have, and as Adam did before him, he now has to live with the consequences of acts that he didn't even set in motion. As an unrelated aside, I was born on the year of the Snake. Anyway.

He seems resolute to look into it (it's part of his job, technically). On my part, I now feel compelled to investigate the water quality of the different areas of the campus, because the cafeteria is in a sort of middle ground and as unlikely as it is, it could be that one of the buildings has nasty water and it's not the coffee machine's fault.

So, to sum up my last three days:

PS: The brand that makes the chai mix also makes a matcha one. It's 80% sugar and 20% tea. It sounds awful, so next Monday I'm going to get a matcha latte for shits and giggles.

PSS: I brought the cafeteria tea bag home and brewed a cup with it. As I said, it's a pretty decent brand, much better than what I have at home, so I was happy. Then I took a sip. It tasted nothing like it's supposed to. It barely had any taste at all, in fact. It was also permeated by a faint odor of peppermint that went down my throat and came back up to my nose every time I took a gulp. What. the. fuck.

[steviesbicrisis]

It starts out as any other Sunday morning. Eddie takes his time to come out of his room and finds his uncle already in the kitchen, the usual cup of coffee in his hand.

“‘Morning son” Wayne greets him, looking up from the newspaper.

“‘Morning” mumbles Eddie, still half asleep.

Per usual, Wayne tells him about stuff that happened to him during the week, since he works night shifts and they don’t get much time to talk except on Sundays.

“Oh, you won’t believe what I witnessed on Thursday night” Wayne begins, catching Eddie’s interest “we were grabbing something for dinner when I caught this piece of shit launching himself on another man! A disgusting scene to witness, I was so mad. Just like that, out in the open, in that alley next to the diner, you know that one?”

Everything Wayne says after that, Eddie barely registers.

The sound of his voice is muffled, Eddie can feel his jaw clenching, his knees weak, his vision blur. He keeps himself busy making his breakfast, trying not to show his inner turmoil, but something betrays him. He doesn’t know if it’s him putting salt in his coffee or pouring water on his cereals instead of milk.

“Son, are you okay?” Wayne sounds concerned.

Eddie snaps out of his trance, he really tries to act normal but he can’t, he’s so tired of hiding in his own home.

He knows that diner alley too well, he has been there one too many times, risking getting caught doing exactly what Wayne got disgusted about.

“I’m fine” Eddie forces himself to say but, for better or for worse, his uncle knows him way too well.

“What’s going on? Is it something I said?” Wayne gets up from his chair and moves a step closer to him, Eddie flinches.

They've never experienced a situation like this, whenever one of them has a problem with the other, they just say it out loud, bicker for a while, and then go on with their life. Eddie has never had troubles telling his uncle anything, until now.

"What I've said about those men, upset you?" Wayne tries again, and Eddie cannot keep looking at his uncle and lie.

"You said it was a disgusting scene to witness. You're saying that people like me are a disgusting scene to witness."

They look at each other in silence for probably a few seconds but it feels like a lifetime from Eddie's perspective.

Then Wayne rushes to his side and envelopes him in a tight embrace.

"Son, that isn't what I meant- I don't care what you are, what I said about that man has nothing to do with you" Wayne has trouble expressing whatever is going inside his head.

Eddie has never told this to anyone before. He tries to interpret his words the best he can "but I am like that man, you can't just hate every queer that ever existed but me just because I'm your nephew."

Wayne grips his shoulders as if he was afraid Eddie would run away any second. Eddie realizes he is probably right: his gaze was scanning the room behind Wayne, searching for a way out, without fully realizing it.

He feels extremely stupid for coming out like this, without a backup plan, right after Wayne had shown him just how much he cannot stand gay people. He knows Wayne loves him like a son, but being fucked up like Eddie has to be too much even for him.

Wayne takes a deep breath, finally recollecting his thoughts. He moves his hands on Eddie's cheeks "Eddie, I want you to look at me. Look at me in the eyes, son."

Eddie focuses his gaze on his uncle's face. His hands are shaking, his posture stiff. He decides in that moment that whatever happens he will take the hit, fight back and run away.

"I love you Eddie, you are my son. I don't give a shit about who you wanna sleep with as long as you're cautious and you're safe. I don't have prejudice for anything, people can love whoever they wanna love, I don't fucking care. Are we understood?"

Eddie releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He really focuses on Wayne's expression, looking for any indication of him lying but he finds none. He seems concerned, determined and also sad at the same time.

"This changes nothing, I love you just the same."

It could have been because his uncle never told him he loved him so openly until now, because he was scared shitless and an adrenaline rush was running through his body, or because as soon as he figured out he was gay he had always feared the moment Wayne would find out.

It could have been all of those things at the same time that make his eyes watery. He looks away and rubs his arm on his eyes, Wayne lets him without a fuss. He knows Eddie won't run away now.

"But what about those men you were telling me about?" he asks, once he feels calm enough.

"The piece of shit was harassing the other man, it was clear from a mile away, I was pissed he thought he could do it out in the open and that no one would've stopped him" Wayne grumbles.

"Most people wouldn't have stopped him" Eddie says, still stunned.

"Well not your old man... wait, has that ever happened to you?" he questions, Eddie goes red in the face.

"Of course not! I can defend myself!" Eddie sputters, making his uncle chuckle.

Another silence spreads between them, but a much comfortable one.

"Listen, this ain't gonna be a piece of cake. I don't care, I told you, but there's people out there who do. So, when you're out, be careful but when you're here... this is your home Eddie, you have to feel free in here."

Eddie mentally curses him for turning what he thought was a dangerous situation into a sentimental one in a span of ten minutes, making him go to the verge of tears once again.

"Are we understood?" Wayne asks once again.

"We are" Eddie nods, and that's the end of it.

When the time comes and Eddie brings someone home, a boyfriend, to spend the night there and live comfortably around each other without any fear, Wayne knows he has done his job right.

----

So... I came out to my parents today. It wasn't planned, I was scared, but it went the best way I could've imagined. They're both an uncle Wayne, if that makes any sense ahahha But yeah, this inspired me to write Eddie's coming out. Wayne really doesn't care about queer people, he just wants Eddie to be okay, as any parent should.

[artknifeandglue]

WIP Whatever-day!

Because this piece has taken so much work today that I now have a headache, and sharing (the suffering) is caring. Have an excerpt from the first draft, y'all.

Tagging @lovingherwasgay because we are both suffering with exams in various ways lol

---

Over eggs and bacon one morning, Harry lowers the newspaper in front of him and looks at the chipped mug of coffee by Eggsy’s plate, horribly out of place with the words HANDS OFF MY MUG, YOU CUNT plastered across the side in stark contrast to the bone china of Harry’s teacup. Plodding footsteps echo from the staircase and down the hallway into the dining room as he takes stock of the things that don’t belong to him but have surfaced in his home anyway: a coat in the wrong size on the hook by the doorway; the pair of oxfords not in his size sitting by the shoe cabinet where their owner leaves them every single time despite Harry’s near-daily reminders to put them away; the box of absurdly sweet breakfast cereal with no nutritional value whatsoever, perched proudly next to the coffee machine as though that space was never empty; the second toothbrush by the bathroom sink where there was only one before; the sleepy brunette currently padding into the dining room, rubbing his eyes and colliding with the doorframe on his way in, still in his pyjamas with his hair sticking up at odd angles. Instead of all of this making his head spin, the realisation settles into a quiet sort of clarity, as though this is how it ought to be.

Still, Harry waits until the end of breakfast, when Eggsy’s coffee has disappeared from the mug, his plate is empty, and all that is left of his cereal is a lonely blue Froot Loop sitting at the bottom of the bowl, surrounded by a few spoonfuls of milk tinted an unappealing colour by copious amounts of food colouring. As Eggsy scoops it up with his spoon, Harry bites the bullet and asks, “How do you feel about moving in?”

The spoon pauses on its way to Eggsy's mouth, a drop of milk dangling dangerously and threatening to fall onto the placemat. Harry drops his gaze to his own nearly-empty plate, cutting the last mushroom into half and spearing it on his fork just to give him something to do in the unbearable silence. A second passes, and then he ends up being the one to break it anyway. “Of course, you don’t have to if you would like to remain-”

“Yes,” Eggsy cuts in, and Harry looks up in time to see his shocked expression give way to a delighted grin. “Obviously yes, Harry, I want to.”

Relief and joy swell in Harry’s chest, too much and just perfect and crowding out almost all speech except the words I love you. “Excellent,” he manages to say when his throat finally unsticks. “Will you need help with your things?”

“Nah. Haven’t got that much to pack, and I can get Rox to help. She’s been offering for ages.” Eggsy tips the last bit of cereal and milk directly into his mouth and swallows. “Can I bring my stuff over tomorrow?”

“You can do as you like,” Harry points out, “since it’s now also your house. You live here.” With me, he wants to add, horribly sentimental as it is. You live here with me.

“Sweet. Thank you, Harry.” Eggsy is smiling again, this one beatific and soft and gentle, the way he smiles only when they are alone. What Harry wouldn’t give to keep that smile, to keep Eggsy like that forever, bright and brilliant and happy.

He shelves the thought, because now isn’t the time for impassioned declarations of love. “I’m glad you’re open to it,” he answers instead.

“Open to waking up next to you every morning for the rest of my life? Fuck yeah.” Eggsy’s chair scrapes against the floor as he gets up, now-empty bowl stacked neatly atop his plate as he carries his dishes to the kitchen sink. As he passes Harry’s chair, he leans down for a quick kiss, leaving on Harry’s lips the faint taste of sugar and artificial fruit and in Harry’s chest the fierce warmth of love.

Every morning for the rest of their lives. What a prospect.

[his-red-right-hand]

Chapter 4

An excerpt from notes found written on a yellow legal pad:

I should be mad. I should be furious. Had to rewrite my fucking article.

I never have to change my articles.

Girl came in and fucked up my design, should’ve slit her throat the moment I saw her. Dumb bitch didn’t even have the sense to run. But she sounded so fucking pretty begging for me to kill her though. Looked pretty with her blood all over her too. And when she started crying, fuck.

Had half a mind to shove her down onto her knees and make her beg for my cock, choke her on it until she passed out. Fuck her throat until I finish.

Might do it later, when there’s no risk of being caught. Hell, she wants to die so bad, might as well make herself useful beforehand. Don’t know if I want to gut her or fuck her. Maybe both. Either way, I’ll be rearranging her guts.

--

She met Jed at the hospital today, she lied to him as well as the cops. Cute she’s already willing to lie for me. And her advice for people to run from me? Is she trying to get on my good side?

Oh, and that little “off the record” confession? Too sweet. Idiot never noticed I didn’t turn off the tape recorder, so I can listen to her say it over and over. Oh, and I intend to.

Meant what I told her though, going to have a long game with her. Even if I did want to fuck her on that hospital bed after she admitted her death wish so nicely. Gonna masturbate to her picture again, maybe as I watch her sleep. Got to keep in control, no matter how tempting it is to just take what I want now. Gotta enjoy the chase first.

Found out from her nurse that she’s getting discharged tomorrow, so I’ll look around her house tonight, see what I can find. Then do a check in with the next name on the list to make sure nothing’s changed, going to be abandoning them for a bit. This new design is going to take some time to plan, but the execution is going to be a helluva good time.

--

Lives in a fairly shitty one bedroom house, but the backyard’s big and backs onto the woods. Plenty of nice spots to keep watch from, a good view into her bedroom and living room. A little sad there’s nowhere to get a good view into her bathroom, but you can’t have everything.

Backdoor key is hidden under a painted rock next to a chair and a little table: roach in an ashtray. Might be an option to fuck with her there - depends on what her consumption is like.

Inside is cheap everything, a lot of mismatched flea market furniture, except the stereo. And she has a lot of vinyl. Rearranged a few just to fuck with her a little. A pile of mix tapes in a box, all labelled in the same handwriting, so either she makes them or knows one person who does.

Kitchen cupboards were mostly empty, a bunch of instant ramen and some jiffy pop. Fridge was mostly take away containers. She had left milk out on the side that had gone bad. Disposed of it for her, I’m not a complete monster.

Bedroom had some nice discoveries, a bullet vibe in a drawer next to some Clive Barker novel with a few bookmarks. My girl is a freak. Knew I had good taste.

Thought about stealing some of her panties, but I think I’ll wait until she’s back and I can take the pair she was wearing when we met. I’m a romantic like that.

She’s got lots of books, but the dust on the bookcase shows she wasn’t lying about not reading much lately. What the fuck else was she doing?

Whole place has the vibe of a shut-in. The couch looks like she sleeps on it most nights, pizza boxes all around it. Sleeping pills on the coffee table, some heavy duty stuff. Definitely something to mess with in future.

Found her Blockbuster rentals, The Evil Dead and Silence of the Lambs. Hid that one, she should only be thinking about one killer. Maybe I’ll return it for her, it’ll spare her a late fee as well as fuck with her head a bit. Still a bit of a monster.

--

I was watching when she came home. She checked the front blinds, but didn’t bother with the back windows. Then again I’m the only one here watching. Gave me a nice show, walking around naked for me except for the bandage. Want to see her without it, want to see her with my marks on her. Want to give her so many more.

Watched her get stoned in her backyard wearing just a t-shirt. A guy would normally have to pay for the shows she keeps giving me, can’t wait until she does it knowing I’m watching her. Took some pictures, a few in her natural environment to go with that cute little polaroid I got of her all bloody when we first met.

Hasn’t seemed to notice anything I moved yet, or if she has she’s explaining it away to herself. Gonna have to amp that up over time, until she knows it’s me. Not sure about her taste in music, a bit maudlin for my tastes, but it was kinda catchy in a sad way.

She called a few people, her boss and a couple of friends, they were the only ones who had left her messages. Glad I got the tap set up, gotta keep track of my favourite girl’s social life, doesn’t she know there’s a killer loose? Don’t think she calls the friends often though, which is good for me. They won’t miss her so much once I start taking up her time. And if they do, I can always get rid of the answer machine tapes.

She ended up falling asleep on the couch to The Evil Dead, looking all cute and pouty lying there. Wanted to go in and take those panties, but decided not to risk it just yet. Don’t know how deeply she sleeps. She’s going to work tomorrow, I can come back on Jed’s lunch break and get them then. Maybe do a little more rearranging, maybe leave a present or two. After all, I gotta treat my girl right, don’t I?

Maybe she’d like the pictures I just took of her sleeping, nice and close up through the unlocked backdoor, her shirt riding up enough that you can see where those legs end, and it is quite the view. Such a little exhibitionist for me.

Oh, we’re going to have so much fun together.

[trials-of-apollo-my-beloved]

A Collection of My Trials of Apollo Fics

This is the link to series I made of them here.

These are the fics linked individually with their summaries:

Rules Are Made To Be Broken

An Artemis Fowl Crossover. 

Three months after his return to godhood, while Apollo is taking the sun chariot through a merry ride over Ireland, he is attacked by a mysterious group of creatures. When seeking out more information on the species his questions are blocked at every turn. He starts digging for more information on the species that his father forbade him from seeking out, but realises too late that he should have stopped digging, when a prophecy is foretold that whatever those things were, they were going to spell the end of Zeus' rule on Olympus and that he was going to help them. 

Meg’s In A Musical 

Apollo thought his trials were over. He finds out he was wrong when Meg asks him for dance lessons in preparation for her school musical.

Meg and Apollo Strategically Don’t Die

Apollo, Meg, and Meg's younger stepbrother Cassius decide that they need some bonding time and head off on road trip through some of the states Apollo wished he got to explore more during his trials. When their car starts breaking down the group is forced to spend a few days at a dingy Inn in a small town. Things get weird when a murder gets reported around the Inn they are staying in.

Or a Meg and Apollo murder mystery road trip fic.

Door Three-Thirty-Six

Apollo finds his way into a therapy session. And despite telling himself not to, keeps showing up.

Quite A Picture 

"Will was missing. It shouldn’t have been possible, but I couldn’t find him."

Meg Just Wanted Cake

Vanilla Cake Recipe:

Two sticks butter Three cups flour One tablespoon baking powder One half teaspoon salt One and one-fourth cup sugar Four large eggs One teaspoon vanilla extract And one and one-fourth cups milk (Can be substituted with Apollo.)

I’ll Miss You

Meg and Apollo get held up at a bus stop and admire the view.

In Between Memory and a Dream 

Warning: graphic depictions of violence. 

I woke up in between memory and a dream.

I couldn’t remember anything except that I had a promise I needed to keep. I had a vague idea that death was supposed to be peaceful, an end. There was no end to whatever was happening now.

Mortality Ends In Too Many Ways To Count

Apollo puts on a brave face, but he fears death.

You’re My Missing Puzzle Piece 

She used to think Apollo was a failure. When Meg was trapped on that shard her stepfather called Apollo the worst kind of failure, a failure that could’ve been great, but gave up trying. But Apollo never gave up, she realized that night at the myrmekes’ nest.

He kept trying, and trying, and trying, and trying, until he physically couldn’t. About the things he cared about, Apollo never gave up. It just happened somewhere along the line himself stopped being one of those things.

A Single Moment

They were literally in the eye of the storm, and there was no question what would come after. What they were doing wasn’t a foray into the unknown; every single one of them had thousands of years to explore all possible outcomes, and every single one of them had come to the realization that there were only two; success or death.

Who I Am Is Not Who You See

Apollo and Zeus have a conversation. Every moment Apollo wishes they didn't.

Family Game Night

It's family game night at Aeithales.

Not In The Script

The Arrow of Dodona confesses his feelings to Apollo. (Polldona)

The Adventures of Lester Papadopoulos and the Scrap Master

Lester's life has been a on a steady decline ever since he left his abusive family to go be on his own. The days at his new job at his local coffee shop are monotonous and unrewarding until one day he gets robbed by a human traffic light that insists things around here start changing. Lester just wished the "here" she was gentrifying wasn't his life.

Fine to Not be Fine

Meg is sick. She doesn't like to be sick. She doesn't like the headaches. She doesn't like the aches. She doesn't like the snot. Most of all she doesn't like how people act around her when she's sick.

A Canvas is Still a Canvas Under the Paint

What would your first thought be if I died?

Believe in the Heart of the... Sun God? 

A Yu-Gi-Oh Crossover

Yugi and friends find themselves transported into the middle of The Dark Prophecy. Meanwhile Apollo and Meg find themselves in another universe, if Apollo's remaining gody senses mean anything, in the midst of a deadly... card game tournament?

Co-written with @txny-dragon @littleredniacurutu and @phoneheadedemployee 

Not the Hunter Not the Weapon

Apollo/AoD

The stars were gone and the sun rose to the next day.

An ode to

This entire fic is Apollo's scribblings on a piece of paper trying to write a song in Meg's honor. This is all he can manage after hours spread out across days.

A Run Away Train

Apollo/AoD

Apollo tries to rob a train for shits and giggles. His boyfriend is not a fan.

A Song For You

Apollo/AoD

Apollo sings a song to his boyfriend.

The Moon Brooch

Apollo, newly appointed king of a kingdom desecrated by his father, finds himself in the center of about ten assassination plots. Not for him though. No, the assassins were aiming for the head of Emperor Nero, the adoptive father of Commodus. Commodus being the man he also happened to be in love with. A relationship his own father (or the crown) doesn't quite approve of.

Yet despite all these threats Apollo decides to spend a summer at the Kleenthe Empire crown palace. It was certainly a choice he made.

This post is going to continue to be updated as I post more fics. 

[darkdevasofdestruction]

hiii im not sure if u still write for death mark, but i found ur fic for yashiki and mashita’s reaction for their s/o waking them up to breakfast in bed and was wondering if u would write the same reaction but for daimon instead. if u cant thats fine!! also ur writing is very nice and cute!!

It was early morning, and the faint light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. Shuuji, the ever sleep-deprived doctor with awful bed side manners, lay sprawled on the bed, his breathing steady and deep. Long hours and overwork, extra shifts had all come together to knock down the already sickly man. Just as he thought he was doing better, he reverted back to his mess of a lifestyle. Normally, he would be awake by now, to get ready for work - Thankfully, he earned a few days off to recuperate after everything.

You carefully slipped out of bed, determined to surprise him with something special. Shuuji’s lifestyle meant he often skipped meals or relied on the most basic, unhealthy food he could find - And only lord knows, doctors and vending machines or convenience stores are soulmates. You wanted to change that, at least for one morning. You tiptoed into the kitchen, hoping to create a breakfast that would show him just how much you cared - And how much you wanted him to live for a few more years by your side, at least.

The kitchen came alive with the sounds of breakfast preparations. You brewed a pot of coffee, its rich aroma filling the air - Yet this time, it wasn't straight black as he always drinks to ruin his stomach and get gastritis; You blended it with a mix of milk and honey to make it easier and smoother for his system.

You then cooked some scrambled eggs with cheese making sure to use a single drop of oil so it wouldn't make the meal too greasy and make him nauseous; With some fresh cherry tomatoes and cucumbers, the grease should be cut nicely, along with some nice and toasty sliced bread. La piece de resistance was a nice and sweet orange juice, freshly squeezed and mixed with honey, the perfect energiser.

Seeing everything neatly arranged on the colourful plates, so nice and cute, you picked up the tray and entered the room - A light meal for your scrawny and sickly darling doctor who can take care of everyone except for himself. Any more than that and he'd feel overwhelmed and run away from breakfast - As he usually does.

Shuuji was still fast asleep, his face relaxed and peaceful - It wasn't easy for him to get many restful nights in between his Death Mark nightmares and job overwork. You placed the tray on the nightstand and leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Good morning, my love.” you whispered softly.

His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at you with a mix of confusion. “Morning already?” he mumbled, still half-asleep. "Have I even slept alone?"

You smiled warmly and gestured to the tray. “Enjoy breakfast - For once." you hummed in amusement, watching as the man was slowly blinking his sleepy spell away.

Shuuji blinked a few times, taking in the sight of his lovely significant other being no kind to him, and then of the tray filled with delicious food. A sleepy half-smile crept onto his face, and he let out a breathless chuckle. “You didn’t have to do all this.” he said, his groggy voice filled with gratitude. "I guess I'll choose food over sleep for once."

“I know, difficult choice, isn't it?” you grinned, cuddling into his side. “You work so hard and take care of everyone else. Let me at least take care of you today.”

Shuuji’s apathetic visage softened as he looked at you, his eyes reflecting a rare vulnerability, a once in a blue moon chance when he'd allow someone else to pamper him like this. He reached out and placed a small kiss on your cheek. “Thanks, Y/N.” he murmured, his voice as sincere as always.

You helped him sit up, arranging the pillows behind him so he could lean back comfortably. He picked up the coffee first, savoring the warmth and aroma before taking a sip. “Your coffee is always the best.” he said, his eyes meeting yours with a look of appreciation. "Hospital stuff is more like sewer water."

You watched as he started to eat, the tension in his shoulders gradually easing. It was a rare moment of relaxation for him, and you could see how much he needed it. You stayed by his side, sharing the meal and chatting about little things, enjoying the simple pleasure of each other’s company. The gentle light peering through the window was caressing his pale skin in a way that he didn't look deathly sick anymore; In fact, he seemed to have life surging through his veins.

As he finished the last bite, Shuuji set the tray aside and pulled you into his arms. “You spoil me, Y/N.” he teased, but there was a deep affection in his voice.

“You deserve it, my love.” you replied, resting your head on his shoulder. “And I love seeing you happy. - And a little less tired than usual.”

For a moment, the weight of his responsibilities seemed to lift, and Shuuji allowed himself to fully embrace the warmth of the moment. He held you close, cherishing the peace and the love you brought into his life. “I'm so lucky to have you in my life.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The nightmares of the Mark were left behind, the horror of Konoehara dissipated, and all that remained was his deep affections for you.

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with love. “I love you too, Shu-chi.” he might not outright say how much he loves you, but he has many other ways to go around and express his feelings. It was fine though, you knew very well how much he loved you.

The morning passed in a blissful haze, the two of you wrapped up in each other’s arms for a full day of resting and enjoying each other's presence - A reminder of what truly mattered, a source of strength that kept them going even on the toughest days.

In that quiet, intimate moment, the world outside seemed to fade away and all that remained was the love you shared, a bond that grew stronger with every passing day; an emotion that transcended past any hardship or supernatural tragedy.

[niwatorinikki]

Dear Lisa,

I am writing to you from a very expensive hotel in North Dublin. I am writing to you from the second of the two days per year in which I wear a tie. We are currently on a lunch break from an awards ceremony, and I am avoiding the food half out of my food allergies and half out of not wanting to explain my food allergies to a well-meaning waitress who won’t take no for an answer. Wheat, rice, oats, corn, barley, milk, nuts, potatoes, onions, garlic, peppers, chilli... I’m sure there are more than that, but even that is too many allergies for one guy. I can never name them all. They all react in varying degrees, and I have encountered one too many cocky chefs who think they can make something simple, only for it to backfire horribly. I just don’t bother trying anymore. 

EXCEPT when I was in Osaka recently. A friend of mine, half-American and half-Japanese, took me out to eat at a yakitori place. I was skeptical. I had heard this pitch before. Minimal ingredients, good ratings, etc, etc. As I always do, I was prepared to sit there, drink a coffee or a water, and accompany him while he enjoyed his meal. But it was something our mutual friend Stefania once said to me, which was that you can get yakitori with just salt as an option. Such simplicity! Who would have thought! I mean, yeah, okay, obviously the Japanese, but still. After watching the chef prepare another customer’s order over an open flame right at the restaurant counter, I decided to give it a go. When in Rome... 

And so this past month was the first time I ate in a restaurant in over 12 years. I mean a restaurant of any kind. Grilled chicken with salt. So good I could have cried right there. It’s hard to explain sometimes my relationship with food. Out of necessity, it has evolved into not really being about enjoyment for me. I eat chicken and carrots for probably 90 percent of my meals. People ask me if I get bored of it, if I get bored of always eating the same thing every day no matter where I am in the world or what I’m doing. The only thing I have thought to ask them in response is if they get bored of showering in the same bathroom all the time. Because that’s kind of how my brain has been rewired to think about food. My body tells me it needs something, I address that requirement, I move on. I know it is a source of great joy for many, but for me, eating is more of a daily task than it is a source of entertainment or enjoyability. 

And so right now I am perched at an empty reception desk in the dark and telling hotel staff that I’m in an online meeting anytime they walk past and look confused as to why suddenly a random guy who doesn’t work here is manning a desk in a closed part of the hotel. The rest of the company I work for, and the many hundreds in attendance for the awards, are in the event hall slurping down roasted butternut squash soup, or perhaps have even moved on to their main course whose details I didn’t catch. 

So I am rather thankful to have the ability to type away furiously at a screen right now as it provides a wonderful cover for my absence from the table during food service. “You’ll have to excuse me, I have an online meeting…” and “Sorry, is it okay to sit here? Cool, thanks. It’s just that I have a meeting, you see, and I’m trying to find somewhere quiet…”

I can tell you that I am sorry to hear about your migraines. From one sufferer to the next, I feel you. Two complete days in Fukuoka were a write-off because of an ongoing migraine whose origin I couldn’t explain but whose fate I decided to simply accept. 

I wonder also about the in-line replies. I love this aspect too, and often fear that longer letters seem disjointed from the origin of the subject. It’s as though we are having five conversations at once, and I mean, this is true of our communication through social media too, but I wonder if there is some rule or formatting we could put in place for linking our responses better. Let me think on it for a while. I’m sure there’s something. But please don’t worry about overlooking something I’m saying. I talk too much, even for my own mind, so to know someone will simply move past certain things is actually rather freeing for me. 

For your three dedicated response periods per day, how does that work for you? Do you actually stick to it? We both know the rest of the world would find it impossible to accept such boundaries, but in a perfect scenario, do you respect them for yourself? I find that would be the hardest part for me. 

And it brings me on to the idea of the correct, or rather, polite time for responses. I know you have a husband (a seemingly wonderful a man whom I’ve never met but hope to someday) but your discussion of appropriate reply times left out one thing, which is something I struggle with a lot. Dating apps. There is literally no correct or standard time frame for which you should respond. It depends entirely on each individual person, which results in a lot of guesswork. Do I send long messages or multiple short ones? How fast is too fast? If I am busy and can’t respond for one day, does that mean that all chance of ever meeting has evaporated? 

Without trying to seem too cocky or arrogant, I would consider myself to be a person who is comfortable talking to women. I was 31 years old when I first experienced what it was like to go on dates. My first relationship from college lasted right through my twenties and then the first year of the pandemic took away year No. 30. Despite attending all-boys schools throughout my entire standard education, I had a lot of female friends through the years, and I think it just demystified the whole process. Don’t get me wrong, if I find someone beautiful, I can still be a mumbly-bumbling idiot, but at least I won’t commit some obnoxious faux pas that renders me unfit for society.

To answer one of your questions directly, no, I never had a penpal as a child. I think this is actually the closest I’ve ever come to such a thing. I have written letters to many people, but never in a prescribed formula which required a response in a back-and-forth fashion. It would have been nice. 

But I do recall the essay questions. That much I can relate to. Furiously scribbling away at the page, pressing hard on my pencil and not so much writing my words on a page as scratching them into the paper, the colour of the deposit left from the pencil merely a convenient byproduct for legibility. In my Leaving Certificate English exam (the final exam at the end of school in Ireland, before you begin college), I remember hand-writing 22 full pages in three hours. Plenty of scribbles I’m sure, but also just a value placed on volume. I know of at least one school in Dublin whose students were taught to learn off full creative writing essays word-for-word in order to best help them get through these exams without the need of thought for editing. 

And to write in Japanese, now that’s a weakness of mine you’ve fully exposed, often forgetful of even the shape of basic hiragana at times. I cannot fathom a composition in the language, at least not in the same way I would in English. There would be so much preoccupation with form to ever concentrate on actually writing something that was worth the time for a person to pass their eyes over. No, I’ll stick to the keypad and its trusty suggestions, thank you very much. 

To your last question, yes, there are a few photos which stand out in my mind; A salaryman in Kobe, gravestones in Kumamoto, Kagoshima backstreets. But I think the ones which I am most excited about are from a small town in Osaka called Imazato. It’s one of those in-between towns, not really close to anything, full of elderly folk and shuttered shopfronts. By chance, I stayed there in 2019. It was my first solo-holiday ever. It hadn’t intended to be that. In fact, two plane tickets were purchased -- the other as an anniversary present for the aforementioned ex-girlfriend who spanned my 20s -- but the relationship ended suddenly, and so I decided to go by myself. Shōgatsu in Imazato. I distinctly remember walking through the main street from Imazato Station at midnight and seeing people celebrating while thinking “2020... This will be a good year...”

Of course, wow, I was spectacularly wrong in just about every way except for the fact that in the space of one year, almost everything I was scared about happening in my life... it happened... and I was fine. The photos I took in that town formed the basis for my book, ‘Wide Awake In Imazato’, which doesn’t translate perfectly into Japanese, so it’s 「今里で冴えてる」in 日本語 which I guess is a bit closer to “Feeling clear in Imazato”. I don’t think separately either language communicates the idea correctly, but when combined, they do.

I had toyed with the idea of revisiting that town last year when I was in Osaka but ultimately decided against it. It couldn’t possibly be as charming as I remembered. I went back this year, three nights to close out the trip, and I mostly just spent my time rephotographing the things which I enjoyed seeing back the first time. I don’t know if the photos themselves are any good, but I believe they will have personal value. I’ve never had another home than Ireland. I don’t know if this is what that feels like. But I bet it’s pretty close. 

2023/12/04 - The hotel staff have accepted me as one of their own, and I will remain here among them until the next time a formal sit-down meal is required, when I will be forced once again to go on the run to avoid a simple conversation. 

[slimschance]

Plate: chicken burger (129), salt & pepper squid (149), sweet potato fries (74)

Bowl: sweetheart cabbage (12), spinach (4), cucumber (10)

Dipping bowl: lime juice (3), honey (30)

Glass: ice (0), fruit-tella blackcurrant squash concentrate - diluted with water (0)

locking in with omad because i can't stop overeating, my intake was over 1000cals 6 out of 7 days, and the 1 other day was in the 900cal range... yesterday i properly binged and i had shooting pains, couldn't breathe out my throat at one point, and was hurling for about 30 mins. can't even remember what i ate but the pain were near traumatic. i downed a lot of liquid between eating, i think that made it 10× worse, i thought i was having some sort of organ failure at one point... that shits so scary. so now i'm locking in. 400cal to ease myself back into lower cal intake. most of my veg and dipping sauce is left so i'm gonna save it to eat after running some floors (up the stairs lol) and just snack on it. i've already planned ahead, if i want to eat i'll eat my salad if i still have some, and if not i'll have a small amount of strawberries and my dads leftover coffee for an iced latte, might 50/50 water and milk to lower the cals. freezing the coffee in ice lolly moulds since my mum protective of the actual ice moulds lmaoo

-

also bad news, i didn't get a haircut (slept through the appointment, asked if she had more time for me after nan and mum, they didn't let me know till 20 minutes later and by then i felt really sick and had been crying) which means i can't get it cut for ages, and my fringe is already too long. i have no fucking clue what to do and i have events i need nice hair for in the next few weeks. might just figure where dads hair stuff is and trim my fringe myself if it gets much longer... but then i won't be able to go to that hairdresser again aghhh sobbing whys stuff so difficult.

p.s. if you plan on eating sweetheart lettuce, raw/as is, please get a dip cah that shit is pure rabbit food... can be a good thing when with other foods but whew that's disgusting, too much. son't make the mistake i did

-

Next day

girl...

i felt so sick, and yet i kept stuffing my face... i wouldn't say it was a binge as i think i was in control of my actions most of that time ? plus thats pretty low for a binge. anyway it felt like a compulsion except i had control over whether i did it or not yk, but physical symptoms were basically me feeling sick, both a bad stomach and food surfacing bc it wouldn't fit in my stomach. i wouldn't have been half as bad if mum didn't come home with bbq hula hoops right next to me, setting off my cravings for both the food and the texture... id already been trying all day to satify my cravings for dry crunchy food (had it for days) and i just had,, then she bought it right back within 2 hour. ooking back, those calories would likely be halfed if just ate the crisps, but mum said i couldn't have them. said i don't know when to stop (ffs she's right) and that means there'd be nothing left for everyone else. atp should i just milk it and see if i can see someone about my eating habits, mums already concerned about my bad habits, that way me tracking food and eventually losing weight won't look suspicious at all. idek if they do doctors for that though, ain't no dieticians or anything in this little shitty town and i doubt theres similar jobs

sigh

[elsecrytt]

Okay I do get the horniness here, I myself am horny for pitiful mommy kink Gojo but I physically cannot resist the comedic potential.

Gojo killing his clan for taking his mommy away lsdfgsdgfs I am VIBRATING oh yes give me pitiful mommy issues man. Ironically this works with his actual mother too bc apparently his parents were just. Not allowed to be in his life bc they weren't exceptional sorcerers.

I have had gojo x babysitter!reader as a WiP/fic idea for AGES NOW it's SUCH a good idea,, creepy precocious child/preteen Gojo imprinting on you and maybe you're not even that much older djfkghlsdhg

but. the HUMOR. oh my god the HUMOR. Gojo infantilization kink but he wants to be the infant and you his mommy and he's trying to get you into it sdkfjhglshg GOD

Imagine this 6 foot plus adonis of a man showing up at your regular office job making a complete and utter fool of himself. Spilling hot coffee on his shirt and coming to you teary-eyed, shivering, shirt half-clinging to his unreasonably well-build body, acting like he's too fucking incompetent to just find a bathroom and take his shirt off sdjfhglshg

Gojo going feral every day planning the stupid stunts he's going to do. The entire office thinks he's an absolute airhead. Bimbo!Gojo who sneaks into your house to slip lactation inducers in your food and you just think he's a silly little guy and you are, technically speaking, not entirely wrong sdfkhgsldhg AAAAAAAA

Fully grown adult Gojo who gives you a pleading face like he cannot possibly be asked to operate a coffee machine. He unironically whines that his coffee tastes bad and you need to basically dump a cup of sugar and milk in it before he'll drink it.

Just. Seeing him act so completely incompetent and then seeing him break into your house?? You're genuinely not sure what to think at this point. He has huge pretty privilege here.

As someone who's not even into pregnancy kink I do also love the idea of pregnancy kink here. I remember your MILF reader series and it's just like "actually no wait Gojo would be worse" bc he would literally ship your child off to boarding school or smth, he just wants you lactating and hormonal. HE should be your only baby. awful AWFUL man.

"gojo age play" oh my goooood gojo mommy kink. i want gojo with the BIGGEST mommy issues, the loneliest most neglected rich kid who thinks he's hot shit and loses his mind at one (1) crumb of casual maternal-coded affection.

you are a barista and you hand him a hot drink with a warm smile "careful, sweetie, it's hot!" and he realizes mommy does love him after all and of course love means sex because the only reason anyone tolerates his personality is to bang him.

tw - fem!reader, non/con, unabashed mommy kink, stalking, breeding.

wait Actually you and me are on parallel wavelengths,,, my exact idea is an extra deranged gojo as michael myers in a halloween au with the reader as his sweet, older babysitter who fell out of contact with the gojo clan more than a decade ago and him tracking them down after murdering the rest of his clan (mostly bc they took Mommy away but for other reasons too) and going into hiding for ten-ish years, but more generally i just think he'd be an absolute sucker for any source of pure, unconditional love he can get his greedy little hands on. his #1 fear is that the people he loves will eventually leave him, so being able to trick himself that you're just too sweet to ever do something to cruel immediately send him spiraling.

it doesn't matter if you're literally less than a year older than him - he's going to be breaking into your apartment after less than a week of stalking you, crawling under your bedsheets and cuddling up to you, sucking on your tits while asking you to call him a good boy - your good boy. he'll insert himself into your life and make a deliberate effort to seem like someone desperately in need of your help, specifically the kind of help that'll have you cooing over papercuts and coffee burns and treating him like a toddler who just learned to walk, rather than a fully grown man. and, if you ever made an attempt to distance yourself from him, he'll just take it as a sign that he hasn't done enough to prove how much he loves mommy :(( his only solution is to, of course, spirit you away to somewhere private and do his best to pump a baby into you and make you into a real mommy, rather than just the poor imitation of one he's decided to latch onto.

[ahungeringknife]

Sip of Snips 1/10: Hellish

I had to dig through my scrivener to find this. Hell doesn't exist in my original WIPs so they were all out. This is also not a word I ever use. I went 'no shot!' when a single doc and a single instance of the word came up. Hilarious.

====+====

Savant used to be way more of a field Warlock. Sometimes coming with her on scouting assignments or she called him in when she needed a big explosion. She knew Savant didn’t appreciate how insane his Light generation was but she did. Because of that they used to spend a lot more time together. But between Gup and Savant spending years of his life playing Gambit to impress Drifter they just didn’t as much. Since he’d stopped playing Gambit it was better. Mostly he hated Crucible enough to take breaks from it and he could only suffer ogling Theo so much before he needed a break from that.

Which was why he’d showed up at her door way too fucking early with a small cup of coffee and said, ‘let’s go to Hunter’s Tree’. She’d blearily taken the coffee and only thanks to Ghostie had she gotten any clothes on to go with him.

Now they were in Hunter’s Tree waiting for Lily to deliver their drinks. Eric was in the booth side of the table while listening to Savant ramble on about Crucible stuff he’d learned from Theo. He was getting a lot better at Crucible. Still couldn’t kill anyone but at least he didn’t die instantly. She was only half listening. The other half was trying to stay awake. For regular people it was a normal time to get up, about eight, for Eric it was a hellish time. Her sleep schedule was erratic and unpredictable and she was tired a lot. She nodded along whenever Savant said something at least.

Lily, a pretty Awoken with moon white hair and skin came by with their drinks and food. “Please tell me it’s what I usually get?” Eric groaned quietly at Lily.

“Nope. Yarrow wanted to see how you liked this instead. Should still perk you right up,” Lily said brightly. Stupid ass Lily. She was a coffee addict like Eric except her not-girlfriend always made her whatever coffee she wanted so she was always annoyingly chipper. “It should taste better too.”

“Fine,” she sighed.

“And for you,” Lily put Savant’s absolutely not coffee in front of him. It looked like a milk shake. Then came an array of baked goods Savant had ordered.

“Thanks, Lily,” Savant said cheerfully.

“You’re both too cheerfully awake. Shut upppp,” Eric groaned.

Lily giggled, “She’ll be awake in a little bit,” Lily promised Savant with a smile and went off to go check on some other customers.

- The silver lining

[neon-danger]

Tours over and they all went back to their respective homes and Jack can’t seem to be getting any sleep

Do y’all have insomnia or have y’all just realized that I do all my best work after midnight

Something’s Up With Jack

Jet lag is a bitch, so Jack doesn’t think much of it at first.

Until it’s night three and he’s gotten maybe four hours of sleep in the last 72 hours.

It’s not his fault he and Alex had been uh,,, close,,, this last tour. Alex probably isn’t even the reason Jack can’t sleep. Sure, it’s been months of sharing a mattress, but that doesn’t mean anything,

Besides, Alex is back in his own home, sleeping just fine.

Jack will just have to power through until his brain resets. Except, when it finally does, he’s having,,,, dreams,,,,

They’re not even, like, dirty. Alex is just there. It’s pretty boring if you ask Jack. So boring, I’m fact, that Jack is now purposely avoiding sleep, which has the entire rest of the band worried.

Apparently, people can start to hallucinate if they don’t sleep for too long. Who knew!

So, yeah, um, that’s how Jack ended up calling Alex, terrified because the shadow demon was going to kill him or something? Alex only caught half of what Jack was saying because he was talking so fast.

Clearly something’s seriously wrong, which is why Alex is on a plane to LA without much of a second thought.

Jack must’ve missed his text though, because he’s completely convinced Alex isn’t actually there and he’s just hallucinating again.

Alex isn’t very impressed by this, but he’s pretty sure trying to convince Jack would be a waste of time. This guy needs to go to bed.

“Alright, fine, I’m not real,” Alex lies. “But let’s pretend for a second that maybe I am.”

Jack eyes him incredulously, the dark circles underneath are more prominent in person compared to when they’d been on FaceTime just a few nights ago. “Why?”

“Because if I was real, I probably have a very good reason for being here, and I think the reason is to make sure you go to sleep.”

For some reason, Jack laughs. Alex doesn’t think the situation is very funny, but maybe he’s missed something. Apparently, it’s a very big something.

“Not gonna happen,” Jack mutters, brushing off his so-called ‘hallucination’ and heading for the kitchen. He pulls a mug out of one of the cabinets and turns on the coffee machine, ignoring Alex when he sits down on the counter.

“Talk to me,” Alex tries instead. “There’s gotta be a reason you’re not sleeping.”

Seriously, what is so funny? Can’t Jack take him seriously for two seconds?

“Shouldn’t you know already? Jack doesn’t look up from his task. “You’re a figment of my imagination.”

“Enlighten me.”

Rolling his eyes, Jack makes his way to the fridge. The milk is spoiled. Shit, what day is it? Jack must’ve gone to the grocery store since he got back from the tour. He hasn’t left dairy products in his fridge during a tour since he moved out of his parents’ house.

“It’s because of the dreams, duh.” He pours the remnants of the sour milk into the sink, and tries not to gag at the smell.

Okay, maybe Alex’s Sure-I’m-Not-Real plan isn’t working as well as he’d hoped. In Alex’s defense, he’s never been in this situation before. He asks about the dreams.

“Look, if I go to sleep, I have dreams with you in them, and then I have to, like, think about shit, and I don’t want to, so I’m not going to sleep.”

That definitely shuts Alex up.

This last tour had been pretty,,, intimate,,, Alex definitely left with some,,, feelings,,,

Leave it to Jack to ignore his own.

“Alright,” Alex starts, jumping down from his seat on the counter. “We’re go to bed.”

Jack raises an eyebrow. “We?”

Alex nods, grabbing him by the wrist. “Yep. It’ll be great. Best sleep you’ve ever had.”

Reluctantly, Jack lets Alex drag him down the hall to his own room, which is weird because how could a hallucination touch him?

He doesn’t protest (much) when Alex pulls him into bed, snuggling up next to Jack in a way that feels a little more than friendly.

“Go to sleep,” Alex says, though it’s clear he has no intention of doing the same.

“You’re not actually a figment of my imagination, are you.” It’s not a question.

Alex grins. “You catch on pretty quick for an idiot.” His expression softens as he reaches for Jack’s hand. “Please go to sleep?” He tries instead. “The sooner you’re well rested, the sooner we can talk about shit. Then you don’t have to think about it anymore.”

Yes. Definitely not nerve wracking at all. No pressure or anything.

Too bad Jack’s way too fucking tired to protest, or have any sort of argument. He’s passed out cold before Alex even has to ask again.

[ryu-skies]

second meeting

C and Ren meet again after a year apart. (1.1k)

Even grocery shopping is hell. C stares blankly at the rows of plant milk in front of him, not fully caring about which was the best or which was the most affordable. As of today, he’s officially been broken up with Zane for 2 weeks. He thought that it would be better being away from Zane—being away from the mind games, the degradation, the abuse—but all he’s done is cry and doubt himself and regret every decision he’s ever made. C wasn’t dumb and knew it was probably a side effect from being told that he needed Zane and was worthless without him, but now that he was alone… he really did feel a little worthless.

C stares harder at the products, forcing himself to get out of his head. He reads the labels slowly, over and over again until choosing an oat milk is the only thought in his mind.

“C? Is that you?” A familiar voice asks and C turns, meeting eyes with Ren. 

Ren, his ex-boyfriend from college who still looks just as handsome as he did a year and a half ago. 

Ren, who is currently looking at C whose hair is desperately in need of a fresh dye job and is wearing a hoodie he hasn’t washed in a week.

Fuck.

“Oh… Ren.”

Silence hangs between the two of them, so Ren reaches for a light blue carton of oat milk and hands it to C. “If you’re trying to choose a brand, this one is my favorite.”

C nods and accepts the carton, setting it in his basket. He rubs at his eyes, hoping the puffiness had gone down just enough so Ren wouldn’t notice he’s been crying.

“Um, are you okay?” Ren asks, because of course he knows C isn’t. He’s always been too attentive to C's emotions.

“...No.” C attempts to smile and Ren returns it with a smile of his own that comes off more concerned than accepting.

“If you’re not doing anything, do you want to get coffee? We can catch up.”

C thinks he shouldn’t agree, thinks he shouldn’t drag Ren into the mess that is his life, but finds himself nodding. After all, he didn’t have anyone else.

“Sure, Ren.”

…

Ren directs C to sit at a table in a nearby cafe while he orders their drinks, leaving C to wait alone for a moment and really think about what he’s doing. He and Ren had history, but they could put it aside for now, right? Ren seemed like he didn’t have any negative feelings towards C even though C was the one who broke up with him almost two years ago, so that was a good sign. C didn’t have any feelings about the way their relationship ended either except the occasional regret, but C had gotten very used to feeling regret.

Ren returns to their table with two glasses in hand and places the bright green juice in front of C. He keeps the americano for himself, sitting across from C.

“You always used to drink that… I hope you still like it.”

Of course he remembers. 

C takes a sip of his drink, the earthy flavor refreshing and pleasant on his tongue. “Thanks, Ren. I appreciate it.”

Ren nods, taking a drink of his americano while they sit in silence. He sets the glass down, shifting in his chair. “So… What’s been going on with you?”

“I, um… I just got out of a messy relationship.” C mumbles, staring down into the green drink. He swirls his straw idly, memories of Zane still fresh in his mind.  

“Oh… If it was messy that means you’re better off without them, right?” Ren gives a small smile, but C refuses to look up. 

“I guess… I don’t know what to do with my time now,” C laughs weakly. “It was so bad but I don’t even know who I am without him, y’know? I can’t help but think I did the wrong thing and that I should’ve stayed with him.” 

Ren bites his lip, fingers tightening around his glass. Was this how C felt after they broke up? Or was his relationship with this mystery man better than what they had? He has so many questions, but he holds back for now.

“How long were you together?”

“I don’t know… Like a year? Maybe a little more? I lost track in the end. It was kind of intense.” C sighs, sitting back in his chair to glance at Ren. “How have you been, Ren? Are you seeing anyone?”

“No.” Ren pauses to sip his americano, letting the weight of his response hang in the air. “I’ve been good. Focusing on myself, mostly.”

“That’s good.”

“I’ve been on a few dates here and there. It’s hard to find someone that I really connect with.”

Someone like you. 

The implication is there and C can feel it. He rubs the back of his neck and diverts the conversation.

“I get it. I mean, look at me. I thought I found a great guy and spent the last 3 months working up the courage to leave him.”

The soft smile Ren had been trying to keep up falls off of his face. “...Was it really that bad, C? I’ve never seen you like this and I’m a little worried, if I’m being honest.”

C looks away from Ren’s face, staring out the window. “It wasn’t good. Well, it was at first. He would take me on extravagant dates, rearrange his schedule so we could be together… I even lived with him for a while.”

It pains Ren to hear C talking about another man he clearly was in love with equally as much if not more than he was with Ren, but he listens. Now wasn’t the time for jealousy. 

“He used to be so nice. I really thought he loved me, but something went wrong along the way.”

He hurt me, C wants to say. He said he loved me but he put his hands on me and he hurt me. 

“Let’s just say we wanted different things in the end.”

Ren watches the faraway look on C’s face when he talks, gritting his teeth. Something bigger that C wasn’t ready to talk about clearly happened and Ren wants to push, but it would be wrong. Not when they haven’t seen each other in so long.

“I see,” Is what Ren settles with instead, finger tracing circles in the condensation on his glass. “Well, if you ever want someone to take your mind off of things, I’m only a call away.”

C glances back at Ren and Ren scrambles to correct himself.

“As a friend, of course. I don’t have any hidden intentions, I just think you could use a friend right now.”

C smiles and nods. “Thanks, Ren. It would be really nice to have you back in my life even as a friend.”

[enby-trainer]

What does their bedroom look like?

Don't really have a bedroom. I live in a studio apartment. It's all one room except for the closet and bathroom. Like I've said before, it's pretty "bare-bones," but it's livable. I'm trying not to be as much of a packrat as I used to be.

Do they have any daily rituals?

Wake up, feed the gals, feed myself, brush my teeth, then shower.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

I don't exercise other than going on walks outside with Nox and Delphine, every day.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

I'd wait till it wasn't busy anymore. Only so much you can do.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

I used to have very poor hygiene skills. My parents didn't teach me much. I have tried very hard to correct this as an adult. I think it's going all right so far.

Eating habits and sample daily menu

Microwavable ramen, Boyardee spaghetti cans, and plain water, for the most part. Sometimes I get fast food for some variety. I spend more cash on the gals' diet so they're better nourished than I am.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Listening to Spotify for hours on end, daydreaming. I think it's good to just vegetate for a while sometimes.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

I mostly indulge in things that are more enriching for my persian than for me.

Makeup?

Whenever I tried to wear makeup in the past, it always got smudged and thus became horrible looking eventually. I've all but given up on trying it now.

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

I used to have suicidal depression, and to this day, I still have anxiety disorder. I have to avoid caffeine...though I do still drink less than half a cup of coffee (with lots of cream and sugar) every now and then.

Intellectual pursuits?

I like to write fiction (both fanfic and original) and draw digital artwork. Maybe I can make a career out of the former since my art isn't really commission-worthy, but before I become a professional writer, I'd like to try being a pokemon trainer first.

Favorite book genre?

Fantasy and scifi. Young Adult and New Adult.

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

I'm pan and gray-ace. Just let people live.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

I'm lactose intolerant, and that's about it.

Biggest and smallest short-term goal?

Biggest is making the rent month-to-month. Smallest is finishing more art pieces.

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

The biggest is becoming a professional pokemon trainer and being at least a bit good at it; smallest is figuring out how to travel on my own...well, with my gals, but still.

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

I don't have any clothing "rituals," but I do tend to wear casual and comfy clothes. Nothing too fancy or fashionable.

Favorite beverage?

Lactose-free strawberry milk.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Will my job at a grocery store be not stressful tomorrow? Will I wake up in time to take the gals outside for a minute or two?

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

I used to get sick a lot as a kid because of my lack of hygiene skills. Sorry, I don't really want to share any "tales" about that.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

I like it when people care a lot about their 'mon and work hard to support and maintain them. It's an "off" when I see someone abusing them or caring for them poorly. I should have been a Pokemon Center doctor or nurse. But the math and chemistry would've killed me.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Probably a drawing or a rambling journal entry.

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

I try my best to be more organized than I was growing up. It may look a bit messy-ish at times, but I know where everything is and I'm attempting to be semi-minimalist.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

I've been told I'm a good writer and that I should keep practicing at it, and at my art.

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

I hope 5 years from now, I'll be a real trainer finally.

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t work out?

Other than defeating at least one Unovan gym, not...really. I am not good at contingency plans.

What is their biggest regret?

Not trying harder to become a trainer sooner, I guess?

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

My mom is the closest thing to a best friend I've got right now, and I don't really have a worst enemy except for myself probably. I used to think my dad was the closest thing to a worst enemy I had, but, he's just a grumpy old man with his own issues that he hurt me with sometimes, whether he meant to or not.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Probably I'd call 911? If it seemed like no one else was.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

I'd be devastated, but I'd recover sooner or later.

Most prized possession?

Hell, I dunno; my wallet? My desktop computer?

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Don't let your home become a clusterfuck. Like that one lady on the Internet said, "Does this spark joy?" If not, get rid of it.

Concept of home and family?

Your home is where your heart is. Your family is who your heart is with.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

I used to be an immense oversharer as a child/teen, but nowadays I keep pretty much everything to myself.

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Listening to music or watching YouTube too often, probably.

What makes them feel guilty?

Whenever I feel like a bad pokemon owner, basically.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

I am definitely an emotionally-driven person, not very analytical at all. Not to say I don't have logic, just that I'm not...a genius? Lol.

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

Definitely type B.

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Sitting in quiet for an hour or so with my 2 persian by my side. Lost in thought. Maybe listening to Spotify or watching YouTube.

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

I definitely had an intense inferiority complex as a teen, and have shades of it even now.

How misanthropic are they?

Some days I feel like I despise people but it only lasts so long before it fades and then I return to my default state of being neutral toward them. Every once in awhile something comes along and restores my faith in humanity briefly, and then it goes back to neutrality again.

Hobbies?

Drawing art and writing fiction.

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

High school was a bitch and a half for me. I barely scraped by. I don't think I would've done very well in homeschooling though because given the chance to procrastinate on schoolwork, I probably would have avoided it constantly.

Religion?

I believe mildly that Arceus is a creator god but I don't...go nuts about it? And that the other legendaries are indeed supernatural in some way. I refrain from talking about this part of myself much because I'm afraid of the scorn and side-eye it'll earn, although I'm hardly the only one who thinks this way.

Superstitions or views on the occult?

I am superstitious about some things but not ghost-type pokemon... not anymore. They're just pokemon. I respect that there are paranormal things in our world, though.

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Mostly words.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Someone kind, open-minded and easygoing.

How do they express love?

Mostly through words of affection.

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

That's a good one. You're joking me, right? I can't fight.

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

Definitely, I want to die as an old person in my sleep. Not in a horrible, painful way or anything similar.

[vileviale]

Thx for the tag!

Do you have freckles? I have various freckles and moles on my body, but not a ton

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? Both, with a little sugar and a lot of lactose free milk

What was the last song you listened to? Soul meets body by Death Cab For Cutie

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? Stomach

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Five

Do you prefer drawing or writing? Drawings easier for me so I’m more likely to do it

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? One quilt

What’s your favorite band/artist? Andrew Bird

When is your birthday? March 23rd

How tall are you? 5ft8

What color are your eyes? Dark brown

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? My dad, my mom, my dog, my siblings, and my friends

Fears? Starting things and anything to do with hell/demons/satan (with good omens being the one and only exception. But the show can still give me the heebie jeebies sometimes)

What’s your favorite color? Green but I think I like purple more now

What’s your favorite season? fall and spring

Want any tattoos? What of? Florida butterfly orchid (not sure where) and maybe something in elvish around my ankle or arm

Want any piercings? Where? Lots more ear piercings and a bridge piercing

Who is the last person you texted? my ex step dad

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? My cousin is my best friend now and we started becoming friends around four or five years ago

What/who do you miss? I miss my friends, my high school, and the lack of responsibility in my childhood

How was your day today? Good

How much sleep did you get last night? 6 hours

Do you believe in aliens? It’s nearly impossible for life to not be out there

When was the last time you cried? Why? thirty minutes ago bc I watched a sad movie

What’s your favorite decade? Ooh. That’s hard. I love each and every one from the 1800s up to today.

What are some seemingly childish things you like? Kids shoes and toys and juice

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? The Secret Garden

How are you, really? Recovering from the worst time in my life but ready for the road ahead

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? No. It’s easy when you break things down

What are you looking forward to in the near future? going back to school

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? Possibly getting an internship at Stanford (that’s in less than six months but it seems distant to me)

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? New Zealand

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? FUCKING CLOSED I HATE OPEN DOORS TOO MUCH ENERGY NOT SAFE

What’s your favorite flower? snapdragons and zinnias and any wildflower

Do you currently have a squish? Idk what a squish is. Like a squishmallow? I have a frog on one my friend crocheted for me

Do you like your middle name? Yeah its alright

Do you prefer dogs or cats? I love both but dogs are easier to snuggle with

Do you have any phobias? Nope

Do you stay up late? Yep

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? I’m a Florida girl, saltwater runs through my veins. The beach is sooo beautiful, especially siesta. I like cloudy days full of rain or wind or fog, but not always at the beach

What’s your favorite cartoon? I guess tumbleleaf

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs @gloriousvermin @onewholecabbage @temporary-temporal-temper @bigmeatpete69420 @muckmage

Do you have siblings? How many? One full sibling, three half siblings on my mom’s side, Teo half sibling on my dad’s. All younger than me

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? My siblings

Is there anyone you would die for? my family

What do you need when you’re sad? alone time and a distraction

Have you memorized your phone number? yeah

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? No one

What does your last text say? We just got out of the circus imma be at your house in about an hour

🔫 I know 2 is tea. But 1-49

Do you have freckles? only a couple

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? tea, one milk, one sugar

What was the last song you listened to? alaska by little hurt

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? depends on the night, and i also move a lot in my sleep so i cant really answer this

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? yea :]

Do you prefer drawing or writing? writing

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? two. a duvet and a weighted blanket

What’s your favorite band/artist? i dont have one

When is your birthday? june 10th

How tall are you? 5ft3 :/

What color are your eyes? greyish blue

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? Blue, my sister, my best friend, my other friend, and my dog

Fears? heights, planes, throwing up (all related to my motion sickness)

What’s your favorite color? dark green :)

What’s your favorite season? fall and winter

Want any tattoos? What of? maybe something small when im older, like a flower or smth

Want any piercings? Where? id like to get another ear piercing

Who is the last person you texted? my best friend

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? yeah :) we've been friends since spring of last year, when she joined our pathfinder unit

What/who do you miss? Blue, my sister, my nana, my friends from pathfinders

How was your day today? it was okay

How much sleep did you get last night? 10ish hours

Do you believe in aliens? i believe that we arent the only life in the universe

When was the last time you cried? Why? this afternoon, bc my sister was going back to uni

What’s your favorite decade? uh. the 2010s bc that was when i was growing up and didnt have to deal with all this shit

What are some seemingly childish things you like? uhh i like a couple kids shows

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? sweep by jonathan auxier 

How are you, really? i kinda feel like shit rn but ive dealt with worse

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? yea, im really indecisive

What are you looking forward to in the near future? getting to see my friends from pathfinders on wednesday

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? going on my pathfinder trip in 2025

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? germany

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

What’s your favorite flower? bleeding hearts

Do you currently have a squish? nope

Do you like your middle name? yep

Do you prefer dogs or cats? cats, but i still love dogs

Do you have any phobias? acrophobia

Do you stay up late? yeah

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? the beach is meh. i like when its sunny but not too hot

What’s your favorite cartoon? i dont have one

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs @idontliketomatoesleavemealone @recovering-redditor @keenkryptonitenut @rainbowangel110 @vileviale + lots more

Do you have siblings? How many? two siblings, an older sister and a younger brother

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? my dog

Is there anyone you would die for? my siblings

What do you need when you’re sad? a hug

Have you memorized your phone number? yep

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? my mum

What does your last text say? 'slightly'

[freedthedark]

     “Coffee doesn’t sound like a horrible idea right now, actually.”