#about delphine

[enby-trainer]

🔮 -tell me of powers

Well, hmm. How do I answer this? Not sure.

Both my gals are pretty "offensive" battlers, with hard-hitting moves, and as far as I can tell, it suits them fairly well. I mean, I'm their trainer, I'm the one who decides which moves they hone, so it was partly my doing why they're like this.

Their powers are both of Normal typing, if that answers your question in case the above paragraph didn't.

[tlumeti]

She's very cheeky, this girl. But that's why I like her.

[edenxrosey]

Arcane Lessons

[laurapetrie]

I felt strange at first in knee socks and loafers instead of racy red heels and parachute skirts and an aura of Chanel, with books under my arm instead of a frenchy parasol, and girls everywhere instead of men . . . but it is good for me, and this is really the most honest part of myself, I think. Inside me the love for extravagant and impulsive gesture is still there, [so] when I get a creditable thesis done, I feel I’ll deserve a champagne blast to celebrate. I'll put on my Scarlett O’Hara shoes and we’ll be eccentric together!

Sylvia Plath in a letter to Gordon Lameyer; September 24, 1954

[whogirl42]

So fucking incredible honestly to be rewatching Orphan Black from the beginning and seeing baby Cophine like. Delphine is all adorable stuttering that she never really considered bisexuality for herself until Cosima, unaware that she's facing the love of her life who she'll legit be willing to burn down the entire world for I can't even🥺

[many-but-one]

Trauma Informed Biases and TERFs

In light of my ex-best friend being outed as a TERF, I think I want to have a series of discussions. Mainly about the biases that we (community "we") can have and that trauma and biases work hand in hand, and how we cannot allow trauma-informed biases impact our decision making or critical thinking skills, but also a bit about my experiences as a trans man and how being trans yourself doesn't mean you automatically escape transmisogyny. (Spoiler alert: while I'd never say I was transmisogynistic in action, I was in some part biased due to my past traumas, and having a transfemme partner and seeing the way she's treated by others just for existing had to make me rethink everything I understood about what it meant to be a trans woman, which has made me a better person--and I believe a better partner, too.)

First, I'm going to talk a bit about trauma-informed biases. As trauma survivors, we all have them. For example, we were primarily abused by white, Christian men. By all accounts, when we encounter a white, Christian man, we are immediately wary of his intentions. Often without even knowing him or trying to know him, we will already assume he's just like our abusers deep down. While that may sometimes be true, more often than not, a white Christian male who hasn't done much self reflection and growth will mainly just be misogynistic to various degrees and probably not understand the weight of his privilege. That doesn't automatically make him a pedophile who tortures kids like our abusers were.

Branching off from that, and narrowing it down, we get to the meat of the problem, which is men. We have met and known cis men who are by all accounts nothing like our abusers, in fact, the exact opposite. They are sensitive, they are caring, they know their privilege and use it to uplift the voices of their female friends. They are avid supporters of the queer community even if they aren't a part of it. While they are sometimes misguided, they are also always open to learn more and be corrected and change. There are good men out there. However, this doesn't make our bias towards men change. We were hurt by men, we know others who have been hurt by men. People both AFAB and AMAB have been harmed and subjugated by men for centuries, so it's not like it's coming from only our experiences with men.

However, this is where the problem lies. While it's okay to be wary of men for our safety, outright hating ALL men is where it gets dicey. That's where radfem ideology will suck people in, specifically AFAB people. They feel wronged by men, they have been hurt by men, so of course in their mind, men have to pay in some way. Feminism on its own sets to destroy the patriarchy and keep everyone on even ground, whereas radfem ideology often trickles into spaces related to that vengeance aspect of men needing to pay for what they have done in some way. And truly, I can understand. From the bottom of my heart, I can understand. I want the men who hurt me and hurt my friends to pay too. Vengeance (or justice, as many would prefer to call it) is a tantalizing concept, even if only in theory due to how shoddy the justice system is at actually bringing any justice to survivors' lives.

And when an AFAB person enters a radfem space, they will immediately be in danger of developing TERF ideology. This is what happened to the aforementioned friend. Most people will already know who I'm talking about. I think they started in a good place, but the biases that they already held within them were taken advantage of, and they let their trauma-informed biases take root and allow them to follow that TERF path. For the record, they still deny being a TERF, but as everyone has already seen, they most certainly are. TERFs will *rarely* actually self-identify as a TERF, even if they are spouting the most clearly TERF-ridden ideology known to man. The reason for this is because TERF is a "bad word" (rightfully so) and the baby radfems out there who are trying to avoid becoming a TERF are going to start by avoiding anyone who self-identifies as a TERF. Which of course, is not what TERFs want. They want baby radfems to feel welcome and not immediately shun what they teach them, because TERFs do eventually want those anti-TERF baby radfems to eventually become TERFs just like them.

[As a side tangent: I know I sound like I'm calling TERFs predatory in the way I describe their tactics, but I'm going to be completely honest in the way I believe a lot of TERFs utilize cult tactics to find new radfems or radfems who are on the fence between feminism and radical feminism and get them to join their cause. If you examine the BITE model (Behavior, Information, Thought, Emotion)--what is often used to define a cult--it's very clear that TERFs WILL use emotion-based tactics and manipulative tactics to get baby radfems to join their cause, and once their thought processes get changed and they lose their friends who don't jive with those beliefs, they get stuck in the echo chamber. And then they'll get pressured to believe more and more extreme things with the threat of ostracization from the "in-group" for not agreeing. And if someone has already lost all of their friends for joining this in-group in the first place, where else to go but to stay? See what I'm getting at, here? While they may not be as damaging to their own members as some cults, they DO cause a threat to others, namely transfemmes. People in power who share those beliefs make laws that distinctly work to harm transfemmes, e.g. JK Rowling providing massive amounts of funding towards anti-trans legislature.]

So how does this relate to trauma-informed biases? How do we get from disliking or hating men to becoming a TERF? Well, because TERFs utilize bioessentialism as a weapon. They reduce everyone down to the parts that they have (or were observed to have) at birth. While a TERF may not outright say "everyone born with a penis deserves to die" they WILL outright say things like "well, I just think AFAB people ("real women") should be allowed to have spaces that are only for them, you know? They shouldn't be forced to be around women who aren't AFAB" (if they will even acknowledge that trans women are women at all, more often they consider trans women to be men masquerading as women or accuse transfemmes of outright trying to invade women's spaces to hurt them). This is especially apparent in the lesbian side of TERFdom, where they try to use the justification of "not being attracted to penises" to explain that trans women shouldn't be allowed in their spaces. Which, to be completely honest, I do think it's fine to be attracted to certain genitalia and turned off by other people's genitalia, but you also shouldn't let that guide you toward completely excluding trans women from lesbian spaces. You can just choose to not date trans women and call it a day. Is it pretty lame to reduce someone to a set of parts and only date someone based on a set of parts? Yeah, it is, but you're within your rights to date who you want to. You just shouldn't exclude them from the entire space altogether based on your preferences.

For the record, I used to be part of this group of people right here. There was nothing I had against trans women, I was just extremely terrified of the parts they have due to my past traumas, and I didn't want to make a trans woman feel like I was afraid of them for the parts that they have. I didn't want my fear of sexual situations with her to ruin whatever romantic attraction we could have, and I was certain for a long time that this would be true forever.

Until I met my current partner, who is a trans woman.

I'm going to segue into how being a trans man (technically we are genderfluid but we usually present as a trans man to most people) doesn't automatically mean you cannot hold biases against trans women or even be outright transmisogynistic, and that while I do believe trans men have their own slew of issues related to being trans men (such as being perceived as a traitor to your AGAB, or the first time you get clocked as your correct gender but not in the gender affirming way, in the way that the women that you have always held so much community with think you're a cis man and are afraid of you. That's a tough one to come to terms with, personally, and is also why our system tends to lay within the "butch lesbian/faggy trans guy" section of transmasc, so that while we definitely do get clocked more often, it also helps the women we care about so much in our communities know we're not cis. Because no, our goal is not to be to be as cis as cis can be and so our gender ambiguity that we express does us a lot of favors while also opening other doors for trouble, like harassment for appearing as a faggy trans guy or as someone who's clocked as a lesbian) they are a completely different ballgame than what trans women have to deal with on a daily basis just for existing as they do.

Things I've learned about trans women's experiences that I never knew before:

-They may never be able to fully pass and that puts them in danger of harassment or even death for the rest of their lives

-if they come off as too loud or too intense for someone, they will immediately see them as a danger even if the transfemme in question is one of the kindest human beings you've ever had the pleasure of meeting

-if they don't talk in the somewhat-stereotypical "quiet, demure, trans girl" voice or for any reason dress in a more butch or non-hyperfeminine style, they are going to be seen as a threat despite any actions they will have done to prove they are not a threat

-if a trans woman likes to be around kids, some people are going to immediately assume they're a pedophile. This one deeply saddens and disgusts me more than I can even describe

-if they are talkative or ask a lot of questions about something and they come off as a little too pushy or are socially awkward/autistic, people are going to immediately assume they need to be afraid of her despite there being no evidence of that being a conclusion that needs to be jumped to, or they may label her as "creepy"

-if she decides not to opt for sex change surgeries then she's clearly just a man pretending to be a woman, if she opts for sex change surgeries, she's a trap. Same for if she passes well or not. If she passes well, she's a trap, if she doesn't pass well, she's a freak

-people will assume she's always trying to manipulate them in some way, as mentioned above. If she passes well, she's manipulating them and tricked them (usually for sex, but could also happen in a romantic situation). If she tries to disclose that she's trans early on, she might risk out on them leaving her just for being trans and not actually getting to know her as a person

-if she's into sex or hypersexual and comes off strong, at best she might be labeled as pushy or creepy, at worse she may be labeled as a rapist

-additionally, trans women are extremely fetishized, but once she has autonomy and is seen as an actual person and not a fetish object, all of that attraction goes away and she's seen as a trap or gross or whatever other vile concoctions people have come up with to describe trans women in a sexual light.

-many, many more things that I couldn't even begin to list in this post.

All of these affect a trans woman every single day. She's at nearly just as much if not just as much at risk of attack as cis women are. She's much more likely to hear the word tranny in a negative context than a trans guy is. While a trans guy could get called a tranny, sure, they're significantly less likely to be attacked or even killed for being trans. Trans men are often labeled as "confused little girls" which is infantalizing, yes, but trans women are often labeled as creeps, rapists, or manipulative/evil people. Imagine what that does to a person's sense of self? Their self image? Even if she's never done anything remotely that bad, she's going to be labeled that anyway.

And gods forbid she ever does anything that could be seen as kinda "weird" or "bad"--not in the morally reprehensible sense. I mean like she cheated on someone or she does drugs or she says something a little tone deaf ten years ago. Trans women are forced to live life on their tiptoes for fear of being told they are evil monsters. I've seen with my own fucking eyes someone who I thought was an ally to transfemmes (they were dating a transfemme!!!) who immediately demonized another trans girl because she was socially awkward and autistic. Tried to make assumptions that she must be abusive to her partner, tried to claim that because of one interaction with this girl, they already knew that she had antisocial behavior (which I find funny that she says this to us, someone who has significant ASPD traits), which to me alludes that they believe she could be manipulative and hurtful. All because she was a bit awkward in a social gathering! I was appalled and disgusted by this, and it really opened the door beyond what I'd heard from my partner already the types of things that trans girls have to deal with from people that are within their own community that they should be able to trust.

So what does this have to do with not letting our trauma-informed biases rule the way we think about others? I'll keep it as simple as possible with this little flow chart:

Someone (usually AFAB) has trauma with men -> they hate men -> they join the feminism movement -> they veer into radfem spaces because of how vocal radfems are about hating men and they feel they are justified to believe this because of the harm men have caused them personally -> they become a TERF because radfems see people as a set of parts rather than what they actually are -> TERFs spread hatred and vitriol towards trans women in particular -> that hate and vitriol leaks into the LGBTQ+ community because a large number of TERFs are lesbian cis women -> trans women are unable to feel safe even in their own communities

Trans women deserve to feel safe in their own communities. You can be the biggest trans woman supporter ever and still not be a good ally. I thought I was a great ally to trans women before I realized that I was equating trans women's struggles with my struggle as a trans man. And until you really understand what they go through and see it with your own eyes, you may never truly realize just how difficult it is to exist as a trans woman AND you may realize you had biases you didn't even know you had. Existing as a trans man =/= existing as a trans woman. I didn't even realize I had any bias towards trans girls until I realized that I had decided (rather young I might add) that I wouldn't date a trans girl because of the fact that she was AMAB. I didn't realize how much this completely screwed up my view of trans women until I examined it under a microscope, AFTER I fell in love with a trans girl. I don't want y'all to feel like you have to fall in love with a trans girl to understand their struggle and to question your own biases. (though I will say, dating a trans woman has been the best relationship of my life, I love her so much).

Examining your biases and understanding what is trauma-informed and what is an actual issue is paramount. Being wary of cis men is kind of a given, considering the amounts of violence cis men do upon people and have been doing upon people for hundreds upon hundreds of years, but you can't let yourself get into the rut of outright hating cis men just because you've been hurt by cis men in the past.

Interestingly, I've also been abused by cis women, though rarely in as violent of contexts as cis men. I've made myself look at that under a lens too and it made me realize that I greatly distaste old women, and for me, especially if they are 50 and older--though some parts of my system also struggle with any woman older than her mid thirties. I will almost immediately assume an old woman doesn't have my best interests at heart, though it's different than with cis men. While I may assume a cis man might violently assault me in one form or another, I typically have different assumptions with older women and it's definitely something I'm going to have to also examine under a microscope and try to pick apart to really understand if my assumptions are based on verifiable truth ("all old women are bad," like the "all men are bad" assumption) or based on my traumas. My traumas are my own personal truth, but I can't let that affect my relationships I have with men and older women for the rest of my life. Or I could end up a TERF, or like one of those people who were happy that old people were dying of COVID. What a miserable way to live, you know?

-Delphine (she/her)

[timelessbian]

the way i haven't even seen any part of the new ob show but i'm literally going to be thinking about glasses chain delphine cormier in her gilf era for the rest of my life

[hedgehog-moss]

Some books I’ve enjoyed this year:

Fiction:

L’art de perdre, Alice Zeniter

Revolutionary Road, Richard Yates

Les enfants sont rois, Delphine de Vigan

Social Creature, Tara Isabella Burton

La vie devant soi, Romain Gary

Evolution, Stephen Baxter

La Princesse de Clèves, Mme de Lafayette

Nonfiction:

Espejos, Eduardo Galeano

The Worst Hard Time, Timothy Egan

She Said, Jodi Kantor

After Sappho, Selby Wynn Schwartz

La Panthère des neiges, Sylvain Tesson

Becoming Beauvoir, Kate Kirkpatrick

Voices from Chernobyl, Svetlana Alexievich

I’d love to know what were your best reads of ‘22 !

[tridentrans]

our brave cringe loser

[spookyvalentine]

what the calling does to a guy

[faerune]

everyone talks about who their tav romances which is totally valid but i also wanna know who is everyone's tav's bestie

[enby-trainer]

Mew: talk about your first pokémon!

Technically, Delphine was the first pokemon that was/is really mine. The pokemon I lived with growing up belonged to my parents. Delphine is an excellent cuddly girl; if she sees you lying down or sitting, she'll climb on you and snuggle, which can sometimes be an issue since she's so big now.

Celebi: what is one thing you wish you could tell your past self?

I wish I could go back and tell my younger self everything will be all right.

Jirachi: if you could have one wish (and no wishing for more wishes!), what would it be?

I'd wish for more money -- as selfish as that may sound -- so I could afford a nice big rural property and all the pokemon I could want.

Deoxys: what trait do you have in front of some people but not others?

At work, I am professionally helpful and friendly. Everywhere else, I'm more naturally casual.

Phione: what do you think about your hometown?

New Tork is an extensive and diverse place. It's got its bad parts and its great ones. I wish I could live somewhere else after being here my whole life so far, and I'm trying to figure out how to manage that. Don't take that to mean I dislike New Tork. I don't. I'd just like a change in scenery, y'know?

Manaphy: talk about your bonds with your pokémon!

I love my gals, and they love me. I think I've done a decent job with them because they're loyal and protective of me.

Darkrai: talk about something you are afraid of!

I'm always afraid of making the wrong life choice and ending up broke and, at worst homeless.

Shaymin: what are you grateful for?

I'm grateful I could pull myself together when I was younger enough to handle having a job and being self-sufficient despite my autism and anxiety disorder -- both diagnosed, by the way.

Arceus: are any spiritual or religious rituals vital to you?

Well, I'm loosely spiritual, as I've said before. I don't really follow any doctrine, though. So I guess not?

Victini: talk about a significant personal victory or triumph!

Successfully moving out from under my dad's thumb and becoming independent.

Keldeo: talk about a belief you feel very strongly about!

People should adopt pokemon from shelters or rescues or buy them from breeders more often instead of catching them wild.

Meloetta: what kind of music do you like?

A little bit of everything, but primarily rock/metal!

Genesect: what is something you still have after a very long time? How has it changed?

My stuffed toy mabosstiff, Beethoven, who I've had since I was like three years old. He's significantly worn, and his coloration has darkened, but I still love him dearly and keep him on a special shelf along with my other knickknacks.

Diancie: talk about something you think is beautiful!

I love Galarian ponyta and rapidash! They're just so gorgeous and mystical.

Hoopa: what is something you really, really want for yourself?

A romantic partner worth marrying.

Volcanion: what is something that makes you mad?

Abuse of people and pokemon, willful ignorance, and bigotry.

Magearna: talk about something you have made yourself!

I'm not the best cook, but I like making fideo noodles with chorizo meat, red pasta sauce, and mixed-in seasoning. Sound boring? Too bad!

Marshadow: talk about something you learned from someone else!

I don't know if learning from people's messages on the Internet counts as this, but I've learned things just from being online.

Zeraora: what is something you have protected or is important to you to protect?

Myself and my gals. They've protected me, too. I am not very assertive most of the time, so it can be challenging to stand up for myself.

Meltan: how do you express affection for someone?

Usually verbally, less often physically, with hugs.

Melmetal: talk about a legend or story you like!

I really like the tale of shaymin in Sinnoh.

Zarude: how are you with children?

I'm not that great, especially with small kids. The older I become, the less easy it seems to me to imagine myself being a parent...

[bibliosims]

pierre guillaume

[myscreenshotdumpblog]

[kimberlyannharts]

Ya know I actually like the idea that different “color manifestation” of the morphin grid having subtle specializations but dislike the idea that being any particular color completely overwrites a person skill set.

I honestly do get the logic behind it both out-of-universe (it makes sense from a branding standpoint, for usage like the "what Ranger color would YOU be!" quiz they made for Ranger Academy) and in-universe (it makes sense to have some distinction between colors because otherwise, why would the powers manifest as different colors?). It's just the way the franchise goes about it, especially in the modern day, that feels so awkward and clunky.

And it's especially awkward when they doesn't even apply as early as Rocky, Adam, and Aisha. Rocky didn't become a leader figure, Adam didn't become outgoing and charismatic, and Aisha didn't become........like Trini. At least Rocky not being a Red leader was kind of an arc for him, but it's still kind of awkward when compared to how other Reds are immediately considered leader just by nature of being Red (except for the ones that don't, because ??????????)

[kara-knuckles]

As much as I liked the Darknights bits in Episode 13, on the whole I found it pretty frustrating, because it kinda devalued every storyline from Episode 12.

Amiya once again gets an arc about generational Sarkaz bullshit. The Revenant is barely mentioned, despite being a really damn big deal.

What about the Dukes? Last chapter has shown that they are willing to become more involved in the conflict, and now that their forces barely avoided getting hit by The Shard, surely we will get more from them? Nah, the Duke of Windermere probably holds the record for the shortest amount of time it took an established character to die, the biggest impact her forces did was GTFO-ing for the sake of Siege's arc, and the most the other Dukes managed was finally lifting their asses and telling us to tune again in half a year for Episode 14, where they maybe will do something. Maybe. Probably.

Speaking of Siege, remember all the introspection she did in 12? Morgan's realization that they aren't some heroes of legend? Who cares! Let's go full superhero comic, complete with hyper aggressive fighting, deep wound in a polluted area with no consequences, being given a convenient banner to rally people around, and even returning a fallen friend we knew for a week and mourned deeply!

…Baird who? Her buddy Delphine doesn't even get a line connecting her to Glasgow, let alone actually include her with the group in the archives. Nice CG with the real heroes, though!

Last time we saw Paprika she was with Manfred, one of our main antagonists. Will we learn more about him? Will it have some kind of effect on her? LOL. LMAO, even.

Remember all the soul searching Damazti did? How the climax of the chapter was their death? Forget it, we got not one, but two of them, complete with reset personalities!

Obviously, this means we don't get more insight from them about Golding, and Heidi is long forgotten by the narrative, but look! Lettou's arc is hitting rock bottom, perhaps he can spare some thoughts for his old friend he drove to suicide? Maybe even do some elegy about how it ties into Gaul's fate? Nope! His catalyst is actually some rando with a dementia (which I loved on a thematic level, but, you know *gestures at the list*).

Even Ines, who frankly barely did anything in 12, got her injured state completely ignored in favour of telling us Hoederer got a haircut, so that she could do some acrobatics atop a flying skeleton a few days later. But hey! They actually acknowledged her big moment of jumping from the airship, now that's a progress!