#now i kind of want to do this with annaleigh and all of my other characters with real life faceclaims

[likeabxrdinflight]

I'm absolutely deranged over this sweeney revival and so sad it's closing because I think this might be the only iteration of the show where it's like. very obvious that this version of sweeney and mrs lovett are fucking. like that's pretty clear, right? in most renditions it's played like a largely unrequited thing, with mrs lovett attempting over the course of the show to get sweeney to love her despite the fact that he's utterly uninterested.

that was...that was not the case in this version. and the place where I think that becomes most apparent is actually in "a little priest," because I think this is where the transition takes place. prior to this the 2023 show is playing out broadly the same as usual, with mrs lovett focused primarily on getting sweeney to look at her for more than five seconds while sweeney is plotting his revenge. I'm not sure how annaleigh played it live, since I didn't get to see her take and haven't found any decent (publicly available) clips of her, but sutton made some interesting choices here where she's always got her hands hovering over sweeney but rarely does she actually touch him (this was most apparent to me during "my friends" and "wait"). it was like he was something she desperately wanted to hold but couldn't bring herself to yet. like he (or the tenuous bond between them) was made of glass and she was afraid to break him (and it).

that changes after "a little priest." because for the whole show up to that point, sweeney is, as in every production, completely uninterested in her. he seems to reject her advances, doesn't initiate much if any contact with her, and at most treats her as a business partner. but the second mrs lovett suggests her whole baking-people-into-pies scheme, that seems to change. suddenly he's holding her arms, pulling her into a dance, he grabs her face at one point- it was like this little flash of genuinely visible evil from her (which she normally tries to cover more than he does) suddenly attracts him in a way nothing she'd tried up 'til then had. and sutton as mrs lovett responds to this, and that seemed to be the motive behind her iteration of the character playing up the cannibalism humor and making all these jokes about who they could bake into pies. it's like she's suddenly gotten a dash of the affection from him she's been craving and now she's going to do everything possible to keep him laughing, to keep him focused on her and not the judge.

from that point on in this version of the show, I think they're sleeping together. do I think sweeney ever truly falls in love with her? no of course not, that's entirely against the point of his character. but I do think this version of sweeney has more affection for her than other iterations have. more than any other production I've personally seen, this one presented them as a couple, a real partnership, to the point that "by the sea" reads less as another attempt at seduction and more as a legitimate proposal made from one established sexual partner to the other. (the acting choices here also make it.......................almost impossible that they're not fucking I mean she...there's this whole thing with her feet and his suspenders and it's so funny but there's no way. there's no way they weren't sleeping together, just trust me.) and all throughout that song he reacts with the usual sort of annoyance that you'd expect for the character, but there were a few times I'm sure he smiled a little, I was close enough to see it- and whether that was aaron breaking character a bit or a legitimate acting choice I have no idea- but either way it made him seem a little bit fond of her, even when he was irritated.

some people might not like this, since it does sort of go against what was the original intention in the script, but I think it adds another layer of tragedy to the ending if they were genuinely together. because they were so close. they were so close to having some kind of life together, some kind of happiness that wouldn't ever replace the life sweeney had lost, that wouldn't ever replace lucy or johanna, but it could have been a life. maybe even a nice one (minus the whole murdering-and-baking-people-into-pies thing). but it can't ever be because it was only ever happening under false pretenses. because mrs lovett lied. she almost had everything she wanted, she almost had him, but she could only get it because of that one lie, and she loses it all because of that lie too. and that's ultimately her tragedy.

[rageagaiinst]

get to know the mun! repost, don’t reblog.

If you'd like to do this, go ahead! I wasn't tagged, but I saw this on my dash and decided I would hop onto the bandwagon, since this is a newer blog.

— BASICS

nickname : Ash or Ashheart.

pronouns : she // her.

zodiac sign : pisces.

taken or single : I'm single and I've never dated anyone before.

anything else? : The name Ashheart is Warrior cats inspired and it was the name I first started going by when I started roleplaying. For many years I also adopted the name Princess of Hearts / Princess. But I decided when I moved to tumblr to go with Ash, because 01) it's part of my irl name. and 02) it's short for ashheart.

— THREE SERIOUS FACTS

I have scoliosis and most days I wake up with some sort of back or shoulder pain. My scoliosis may keep me from roleplaying sometimes.

I have scars on my knuckles from an accident I had on my bike as a kid. I haven't ridden a bicycle in years because of this.

I wear glasses to help me see. I have astigmatism so everything is blurry both close up and far away for me.

— THREE RANDOM FACTS

I like all kinds of music, but lately I've been listening to a lot of rock and metal music - specifically Breaking Benjamin.

My favorite movie is The Aristocats. I can quote lines from that movie from memory.

I'm a video game lover and I watch a lot of twitch streams.

— EXPERIENCE

I've been a roleplayer since the year 2011 and I started out on FeralFront - which used to be called WarriorCatsrpg. The site is now an archive, but I can still view my old profile and when I do it says I started roleplaying on Feb 11th in the year of 2011.

I started roleplaying on tumblr in the year 2017. I left FeralFront behind because most of my friends weren't there anymore and I wanted to roleplay yugioh. Which lead to me creating Lenny Grayson and later moving over Annaleigh Lancaster. Along with many other characters over the years.

— MUSE PREFERENCE

I prefer to write female characters, because it's easier for me.

Most of my characters have differing personalities. With some of my original characters, I like to add a hint of myself to them. Whether that be through their personality or maybe something they like.

— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT

FLUFF : Give me all the fluff!

ANGST : I love some angst as well.

SMUT : I have never written smut, but if I do decide to it will be with a roleplay partner I really trust.

PLOT / MEMES : I'm okay with both plotting and having memes thrown my way! Send me all the memes and message me for plotting!

[ofdaiisyflowrs]

Anime Filter.  // LENNY GRAYSON.  ➝ I saw one of my friends do this, so I wanted to see how Lenny’s live action face claim would look as an anime character. She looks great! uwu

[atc74]

Soul to Souls - Fourteen

Warnings: Doctor’s visit, a bit of domestic fluff, angst, loss, grief,  overprotective!Dean, sex (fem receiving oral, p in v), cliffhanger

This chapter may contain content that could be triggering to some readers - please see the chapter tags. 

Summary: Since she was four years old, Annaleigh has seen the same boy in her dreams. For twenty-five years, she grows to love the boy that has now turned into a man. Dean Winchester just lost the only family he has ever known. The guilt drives him to work harder than ever before. He works to forget the pain, until he meets Annaleigh and she turns his world upside down. What she learns changes both of their lives forever, but what will he do when he discovers the truth? Will he accept it or run back to the only life he has ever known?

Pairing: Dean x OC Annaleigh

Word Count: 3950 (a long one, I KNOW!)

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches​​​​​​​, @katehuntington​​​​​​, thank you both for being my guides! Dividers and cover art by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89.

A/N: This was my very first series I ever wrote four years ago in September 2016 and I am so happy and proud to bring this back home. Thank you to everyone that is enjoying the story so far. There is so much more to come!

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Soul to Souls Master List

“Wait...what? Excuse me? Did you say ‘babies’? As in plural?” Anna looked from the doctor to Dean and back again with a look of shock on her face. Anna had seen the visions of their twins, but it still took her by surprise to discover it was actually happening, inside of her.

“Well, yes,” Dr. Ryan chuckled lightly. “Here we have Baby A on the left.  And right here, we have Baby B, but if you look closer you can see Baby C nestled on the right. Baby B seems to be measuring smaller than it’s siblings, but I assure you that is completely normal for multiple births. Congratulations, Mom and Dad; you’re having triplets! But, they are not identical. I see three separate sacs. All that means is that your babies will be fraternal triplets.” She moved the wand again and they could hear the second heartbeat, followed by the third.

Anna turned her face towards Dean and saw a single tear fall from his eye. He stood up from his chair and grabbed her face firmly with both hands kissing her full on the mouth right in front of the doctor. “I love you, Red,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too, Dean,” she echoed. What about the vision I saw? I only saw two babies, not three. What does this mean? She quickly threw up a silent prayer to God, hoping He would answer this time. 

“Okay, you two. I am showing gestation at seven weeks and 3 days. Does that sound about right? That gives us a due date of May 3. Spring babies!” Dr. Ryan proclaimed as she wheeled the machine away. “I am going to let you two have a few minutes. Get cleaned up and dressed and the nurse will be back with some information for you to take home.” She patted Dean gently on the back as she left the room. 

Anna reached for the towel to start cleaning the gel from her belly, but Dean beat her to it. For a rough and tumble hunter, she already knew him to be surprisingly tender and gentle. He reached for her clothes as Anna removed the robe, turning to place it back on the table. She quickly put on her underpants and jeans and grabbed her shirt, pulling it over her head. She felt Dean’s arms wrap around her from behind, and he placed his hands over her belly. 

“You are gonna be an amazing mom, Red. I can’t wait to see you growing with our babies, and I can’t wait to meet them. They are going to be so in love with you, just like I am. ” Dean sniffed, placing his chin on her shoulder.

Turning in his arms, she saw his eyes well up. “Babe, please don’t cry.” 

“You know, my entire life, I’ve only experienced pain, and loss, and then you came along. I think these are the first happy tears I’ve ever cried,” he admitted. “I’m the luckiest man in the whole world.

“Dean, I’m already the luckiest girl in the whole world. I have you. Now we have three babies on the way. It couldn’t get any better than this.” She leaned her head into his and they just stood there in their own little world until the knock at the door brought them back.

A few weeks after that first appointment, Dean made the decision to give up hunting, and only provide research and support for other hunters now. He had started picking up shifts at the garage in town so he could be home for Annaleigh during the pregnancy, and their children once they were born. The decision had all but solidified for Dean the minute she took the first test back in Sioux Falls. 

Dean had always had overprotective tendencies when it came to his family, especially his brother, but now he had gone all mother hen on his girlfriend. He made sure she ate right, took all her vitamins, and he even enrolled her in a prenatal yoga class. 

With Dean being home every night, they fell into a very domestic routine. They were always cooking and cleaning, and the sex couldn’t have been more amazing. Annaleigh was exhausted most of the time, but the doctor said that was normal. 

A few weeks later, Dean left for the garage earlier than usual. Anna took her time getting out of bed and ready, throwing on a pair of light blue leggings and a navy sweater, quickly coming to the realization that carrying triplets meant her figure was growing faster than she could have imagined and nothing really fit anymore. She really needed to get some maternity clothes, sooner rather than later. 

Anna was walking to her studio for her first appointment of the day with Alyssa, who had pulled a few muscles in her back during some...extracurricular activity. Since she was a close friend, Anna didn’t mind opening a little earlier for her. Alyssa was just getting out of her car as Anna unlocked the door. Anna set her keys down and was suddenly overtaken with an excruciating pain that felt as if she were being split in half. 

She dropped to her knees in the small kitchenette just as Alyssa walked through the open door. “Annaleigh?! What happened?” She was on her knees next to her in an instant.

“I don’t know...a cramp, maybe?” Anna whimpered as another one ran through her middle. She rolled to her side and clutched her abdomen and heard Alyssa gasp. 

“Anna, don’t move okay? I am calling for an ambulance, then I am calling Dean.” Alyssa’s voice was shaking and Anna knew there was something terribly wrong; she could feel it. 

“Alyssa, what aren’t you telling me?” Anna asked, fear now evident in her voice.

“Honey, you’re bleeding.” Alyssa was crying as she placed the calls, holding tight to her friend’s hand.

Doctor Ryan was all the things a good physician should be in a situation such as this; she was kind and empathetic, but Anna could tell immediately it was not going to be good news as her doctor walked into the hospital room. Dean was seated next to her on the bed, and she reached for his hand the minute they saw her face.

“Annaleigh, Dean, I am so sorry; one of your fetuses has spontaneously aborted,” Doctor Ryan began with a tear in her eye. 

“Doc, what does that mean?” Dean practically whispered, squeezing Annaleigh’s hand.

“It means that one of your babies has died. At your first ultrasound, I mentioned that one of the babies was smaller than the other two. They were growing much faster and Baby B just didn’t have enough room to grow and thrive. I know it doesn’t help, but that can happen with multiples. I am so sorry, I should have warned you of the possibility.

“In spite of your loss, the other two are doing extremely well, maybe even because of it. That being said, I am putting you on bed rest for a couple of weeks as a precaution and have you come back then for a follow up,” she explained before apologizing once more. She slipped out of the room, giving the grieving parents time alone. 

Annaleigh felt Dean’s grip tighten on her hand, and she could feel his eyes on her. She lifted her head and met his eyes, tears falling freely. Anna released his hand and reached out for him with both arms, scooting over in the small bed. Dean’s large frame dwarfed hers as they clung to each other, grieving the loss of a child they hadn’t even known, but couldn’t have loved any less. 

Carding her hand through his hair, she felt him rubbing small circles on her swollen middle as sobs left him. They comforted one another the best they could through their own pain. Thinking back to the visions she had seen, the loss of this child explained why Anna only saw two babies. Perhaps Dr. Ryan was right; maybe the loss of one child meant the survival of the other two. 

Annaleigh was released from the hospital a couple of hours later with strict instructions to take it easy for the next two weeks until her follow up appointment. No working, no lifting, no chores of any kind. If she thought Dean couldn’t get more overprotective, she was terribly mistaken. 

After they returned home and Anna fell asleep on the couch, Dean went to the grocery store. With a full refrigerator and cupboards, he meal prepped for the entire week while she slept. Less time in the kitchen meant more time with her after work. 

He made arrangements for all her friends to come check on her throughout the day so that she never needed to be alone. While she was grateful for her friends coming by regularly, even if it was at Dean’s insistence, there came a point when she just wanted to be alone. Everyone had a breaking point and by the end of the first week, Annaleigh hit hers. 

“Stop!” The shout pierced the otherwise peaceful evening Dean had planned.

Wide eyed and slightly taken aback, Dean gaped at her. 

“Dean, I’m sorry. I love you and I appreciate you taking care of me, but stop,” Anna sighed heavily, tears filling her brilliant blue eyes. “I cannot take any more of your smothering!”

“Red, I’m sor-.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just stop. I’m not cold, I’m not hungry. I’m not a child and I don’t need babysitting! All I want is to be alone! Stop scheduling my friends to spend time with me, they have lives and jobs, and don’t need to be here all fucking day!” 

“I’m just trying to take care of you the best I know how,” Dean stiffened, his voice cracking. He stood from the couch and headed for the stairs. 

“Where are you going?” she demanded. 

“You said you wanted to be alone, so I’m honoring your request and going to bed, in the guest room, so you can have some space from me,” Dean sniffed, not even turning to face her. 

“Dean, baby, stop please and look at me,” she pleaded, urging him to turn around. 

Steeling himself against the flood of emotions coming from both of them, Dean slowly turned to face her, wiping a hand down his face in an effort to clear the tears that he had shed in his failure to make her feel safe. 

“I’m sorry for being ungrateful, please come sit with me,” she started. Once he returned to the sofa, she snuggled up to him. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m feeling frustrated because I can’t do anything, and I just need to be by myself sometimes. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you, but I need you to stop with all your worrying, and just be with me.” 

“Red, I am here with you whenever I’m not working,” Dean argued, failing to see her point, when her face fell. 

“No, Dean. Not just present, not taking care of me, but here with me. I’m not the only one that went through a loss, is going through a loss. We haven’t had the time to ourselves to grieve the loss of one of our babies, but I don’t want to do it alone, I want us to do it together,” Anna cried softly into his shirt. 

Knowing she was right is what hurt the most. Dean shifted his body, pulling her into his arms, and, for the first time since they left the hospital, the two of them found solace in each other and grieved for the child they would never meet. 

Two weeks later, Dean and Anna sat in Dr. Ryan’s office, listening intently as the doctor talked. Everything was looking normal and both babies were growing. Doctor Ryan, pleased with the test results, lifted the bed rest, but left some restrictions in place. Anna was instructed to cut back her hours at work and the doctor wanted to see her every two weeks instead of monthly, which would be typical for a single pregnancy. 

Dean honored her wishes to be alone during the day, for the most part. He had stopped asking her friends to come over while he was at work; instead, Dean came home every day for lunch, and cut back on his own hours. He only worked every other Saturday now, and instead of hovering, he just spent time with her. 

“Dean?” Anna murmured as they laid in bed one night a few weeks later, not having really discussed it since the night she blew up. “It’s okay, Baby. We are going to be okay.” 

“I know, Honey. It’s just a lot to process. First, you tell me you had a vision of twin sons, then we find out it’s three, then th-this, and I can’t help but feel that maybe it really isn’t in the cards for us. What if the doctor is wrong? What if your visions aren’t real?” Dean’s voice was cracking, and she knew he was trying to keep it together for her. She pulled him closer to her.

“I don’t know either. But, I do know that we can get through it, together. Just...you have to talk to me, Dean. I know this put a lot on you, feeling like you have to take care of me all the time, but please don’t bottle it up like you have done your entire life, okay? Promise me that if you need to talk to me, you will. We are in this together, and I am not going anywhere. God has told me His plan for us and I have to have faith in that, just like I have faith in you, in us,” Annaleigh promised him as they held each other close. 

Pretty soon it was Christmas and Anna could barely see her feet, even though she was only a little over halfway through her pregnancy. This, of course, made sex more challenging than it had been in the first few months, but with the hormones raging inside her, she was not going to let that stop them. Since Doctor Ryan had lifted her bed rest, she assured them intercourse would be fine, but cautioned them to be careful. Since then, they had pretty much stuck to the basics, but with Dean, even vanilla was incredible. 

Anna had only one client one late December day, and it gave her plenty of time to contemplate what she was going to do for Dean when he got home from work. Or rather, what she was going to do to him. As soon as she was done for the day, she closed up shop and headed back to the house, feeling excited and already highly aroused.

She had recently been shopping online for sexy lingerie that didn’t leave her feeling fat. She was surprised to find several styles online that would accommodate her ever changing figure that were also incredibly sexy. The best part was they were delivered the day before. Dean was going to lose it and she couldn’t wait, feeling her panties getting wet just thinking about it.  

She ran a nice warm bath with the lemon bubbles that Dean loved. She scrubbed, shaved, and lotioned from head to toe to make sure every inch was kissably soft. She left all the lights off on the main floor, leaving only a couple of candles and the fireplace to light the space. Anna placed a few beers in an ice bucket for Dean on the coffee table while she opted for sparkling water. 

As she lay propped up on the couch cushions, trying to make herself comfortable and still look sexy, she looked around, pleased with the ambience of the room and dripping with anticipation for Dean to return home. She didn’t know how much longer she could wait before she took care of her own needs. Just a little bit longer. She was rewarded for her patience when she heard the rumble of the Impala just a few minutes later.

“Honey, I’m home,” Dean called out as he walked in the door.  

“I’m on the couch, Babe,” she greeted him.

She could not see the kitchen door where she was, but she heard him drop his boots. The moment he hit the archway leading to the living room, she practically heard his jaw hit the floor. He let out a low growl as he slowly stalked toward her on the couch.

“My God, Red,” he whistled in appreciation. “You look so fucking sexy.” He reached down and grabbed her hands, pulling her upright so she was sitting, facing him as he dropped to his knees on the floor in front of her. His long fingers traced the peek-a-boo cups of the delicate lace on the black and sapphire blue babydoll negligee. 

He placed one hand on each knee and gently spread her legs open, a low moan rumbling from his chest. “Crotchless panties? You naughty girl. Someone’s in a mood.” He wrapped his hands behind her knees and pulled them so her ass was on the edge of the couch, keeping her legs spread for him. Leaning down, he trailed his nose from her ample breasts, down to her navel, peppering her rounded belly with kisses. Dean stopped at the waistband of her barely there panties, inhaling her scent. “Smell so fucking good, Red.” He ran two long calloused fingers over her dripping folds without interference from the fabric. 

Anna moaned as he traced her wet folds, opening even wider for him. “Dean.” 

“You are soaked, Red. Is this all for me?” He leered at her, his eyes dark with want as he brought his fingers to his lips, licking her slick from them.

“This is always for you. Only for you. Because of you,” she murmured. 

He licked one stripe up her center with the flat of his tongue, stopping just short of where she needed him. He continued this torture for minutes. She couldn’t take any more teasing and grabbed him by the head to lead his face to the sweet bundle of nerves that had been throbbing with desire for him all day. It did not take long for him to take over and dive in, taking her clit between his luscious lips and sucking until she lost it, free falling into the abyss of her orgasm. A string of filth fell out of her mouth followed by his name.

“You are the sexiest thing ever, you know that?” he panted against her skin as his lips sought out every inch from her center to her swollen breasts up to her neck. “I can’t get enough of you. There will never be enough of you, Annaleigh.”

He quickly shrugged off his clothes, letting his thick, hard cock spring free from its constraints.  He eased his way back up her body, paying special attention to her overly sensitive breasts and nipples. He freed them from the lace cups, taking the firm nubs between the thumb and forefinger of each hand and rolling them just enough to set free a new flood of arousal down her thighs. The wanton moans escaping her mouth spurred Dean on and he took one in his mouth, running his tongue over it expertly with the just the right amount of pressure and suction. He was the only man who was able to make her cum from this alone and she did, as if on command.

“Damn, Red. You cumming with just some nipple play is fucking hot,” he moaned into her mouth before he continued kissing her.

“Babe, I just need to feel you inside me, so you better fuck me now before I do it myself,” Anna moaned, coming down from her second high. 

“As much as I’d love to see that, I gotta feel that tight pussy, Red,” Dean groaned, stroking his length as he helped her up. 

Although her belly was not too big yet, it still had became difficult for Dean to fuck her into the mattress or couch like he used to. Together, they had discovered a few new positions that they felt would work well for them. Dean held her hand as she turned around so that she was facing the back of the couch, with one leg on the armrest. He placed one foot on the couch and entered her from behind, agonizingly slow. He set a slow pace with his thrusting, heeding the advice of the doctor, and avoiding deep penetration. 

Although his movements remained shallow, he picked up the pace as she held onto the back of the sofa. Anna could feel her third orgasm building again from deep within her core. “Faster, Dean, faster,” she pleaded with him. “Oh, Baby, you fill me up so good. Your cock feels so good, Dean,” she moaned.

“Cum with me, Red. I’m so close, I want to feel you cum so hard around me,” Dean grunted in her ear. As if she wasn’t sexy enough, hearing her get filthy turned him on even more. He pulled her up until her back was flush with his chest and lowered her leg, pushing them together. He could move faster, but it would prevent him from going too deep. 

Anna reached down to her swollen clit, craving the additional friction. She threw her head back, meeting Dean’s strong shoulder. He reached around and covered her hand with his, helping her cross the finish line just before he did.  

They collapsed, exhausted side by side on the couch, trying to regain control. “You are amazing, Dean. I love you so much,” Annaleigh confessed to him as she cupped his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch.

“I am so lucky to have you, Red. I couldn’t love anyone more,” he confirmed. With that, they dozed off, lazily tucked into one another.

Just into her third trimester, Annaleigh had three months of pregnancy remaining. Doctor appointments were every other week for the last trimester, but this week’s visit included another ultrasound. She and Dean had discussed it and, initially, they decided to let the genders of their babies be a surprise, but after encountering too many disagreements when planning the nursery, they made the choice to find out. Neither of them cared, as long as both babies were healthy. 

Dean had dropped her off at the clinic a few minutes early, saying he had to run to the shop, but would be back for the ultrasound. He had been acting really weird lately, but she figured it was nerves and his protective nature kicking in again. With the most recent snowfall, he wouldn’t let her drive herself anymore, so she sat in the lobby, reading and waiting.

After about thirty minutes, the nurse finally called her name. Just as she was getting up from her chair, Dean came rushing through the doors. “Hi, Honey. Sorry I’m late. There was an accident on Main,” he explained, following her back to the exam room, his hand on the small of her back.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to have an exam today, just the ultrasound. She lifted her shirt as Dr. Ryan rubbed the cold gel over her swollen middle. 

“Mom and Dad, there is a note here that you want to find out the genders finally?” Doc asked.

They both nodded, holding hands as she worked the wand over Anna’s belly.

Dr. Ryan continued. “Okay. Here is Baby A, and it looks like we have a healthy baby boy! Let’s take a look at Baby C…”

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

Yeah, go ahead, yell at me. It’s okay; I can take it. And I deserve it. 

Soul to Souls tags: @emoryhemsworth​​​​ @flamencodiva​​​​ @iwantthedean​​​​ @jensengirl83​​​​ @deanwanddamons​​​​ @smol-and-grumpy​​​​ @kbl1313​​​​ @waywardbeanie​​​​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​​​​ @princessmisery666​​​​​ @shy-violet-soul​​​​ @lastcallatrockysbar​​​​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​​​ @fangirlxwritesx67​​​​ @squirrelnotsam​​​​ @michellethetvaddict​​​​ @magssteenkamp​​​​ @wonder-cole​

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

i don’t fucking care if this sounds selfish, but like. one of the main reasons that i don’t want kids is because of how much the industry around babies like baby showers and gender reveal parties (GRPs/grp used later in this post) are kind of expected and how you’ve gotta post your ~pregnancy journey~ on basically a daily basis almost. like every part of the way is commodified now- both by money for hosting the parties etc, and by social media posts.

don’t get me wrong, i do care on a base level that you’re having kids because everyone deserves to be happy and whatever with their choices. but generally for gender reveal party posts i roll my eyes and scroll past. i don’t care whether you’re having a girl or a boy until you actually pop it out and post a photo. why can’t you keep that gender reveal party between just you and your closest friends and family, instead of posting it to your 1,000 fb friends... most of whom (like me) you haven’t seen for like 10 years or more???

because the only time i really do genuinely care when someone i know that is having kids does a gender reveal fb post...... is when they’ve had significant problems with trying to conceive (like miscarriages) or they have some type of other problem like endometriosis or pcos, and have been told for years that they’d never have kids. and somehow against the odds, they’re having a kid or their second kid. that’s when i give a fuck about your gender reveal tbh. like good on you desiree!!! you’re having a kid!!! i’m so genuinely happy for you after you’ve had ALL that trouble!!! or after all the doubts you’ve had about your ability to conceive!!!! tell me all about it!!!! tell me whether it’s a boy or a girl!!! you deserve this!!! but thank god none of my friends are imbecilic enough to use fireworks for their gender reveal parties. they just use balloons or idek colour coded party poppers and sparklers and cupcakes (if they have a proper GRP and upload pics to fb) to signify the gender of their baby/babies instead.

then unfortunately, you get fuckwits like the fucking brainless selfish twats in california this week who decided to use bloody fireworks for their gender reveal party..... only to start a fucking wildfire smack bang in the middle of california’s wildfire season. like what the FUCK is that??? why the FUCK do you need fireworks?? or generally for other methods like this, why the FUCK do you need the smoke things like this:

by using flares or whatever??? why use such a pointlessly excessive way to essentially brag that you’re having a girl??? how much does it cost to even throw a proper gender reveal party with any of these potentially dangerous methods??? and generally with the invites and catering??? and also the social cost as well, where you’re interrupting all your invitees schedules just to prove that you’re having a kid and to prove what’s between its legs??? when literally the only people who genuinely care about the reveal are the couple, their families and their closest friends (possibly).

and then the above is all for something you could’ve just easily posted on fb with an ultrasound pic or just a text status to say “hey we’re having a boy!” or “hey everyone we’re having a little princess 👸🏻!!! get excited everyone!!!” or whatever. because it’s literally that easy not to fucking ~flex~ (as the internet cool kids call it) and do fucking idiotic things like using flares or fireworks for what SHOULD BE A SMALL private and intimate personal event.... but instead it’s done all for some utterly ridiculous (on some levels) social media clout for “who out of your friends has had the best gender reveal party this year???”.... (as well as 450+ likes on the photo/video/photo album on facebook to boot).... or something equally as probably toxic and senseless to boast about in the industry around baby showers and gender reveals.

anyway i just feel like these events are just getting to be another insidious way to pit women or couples against each other to compete for social media feed dominance. it’s becoming another unhealthy comparison anxiety point builder for young women (or any woman of child bearing age really) to feel bad about themselves if they don’t want to have one and flood it all through their social media accounts , imo. as if they don’t have ENOUGH on their shoulders during the process of pregnancy and birth.... and just generally while being young women already.

but now you gotta shove the gender reveal parties in young women’s faces/women of child bearing age’s faces as well, and be all like: “make SURE you make YOUR gender reveal is BIGGER and BETTER than annaleigh’s, vanessa! just know we’re counting down the days and we can’t wait to see what method you use!! but we’re sure it’s gonna be SPECTACULAR 🤯🤩!! we’ll be taking notes 📝😉!!! just don’t tell anyone else though lol 🙉🤫!!” or some other equally unhealthy catty one upmanship bullshit that i’d imagine some women or even some grp/baby shower planners would say (although if a professional planner said something like that to me i’d fire them on the spot tbh. bc how petty and bitter do THEY want to be about MY special day???). but you just know that that’s how the industry around GRPs is turning out to be.

but yeah. these steps in pregnancy and the whole industry around gender reveal parties and baby showers are some of the big reasons why i don’t want to have kids. like you can call me a tightass or a selfish cow or the fUn PoLiCe (🚨) or any other variations of these insults. but i’m sure there’s a lot of young women who feel the same way. just leave us the fuck alone to celebrate our happiness in these occasions, in our own way, instead of pressuring us to buy into a huge scam industry like the one around gender reveal parties and baby showers.

[decadentblood]

below the cut, there’s some information about my characters. i’m going to update this later because i can’t keep looking at it but annaleigh and evan are all completed for now ! 

𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒘   

brave little foot soldier you have more courage than sense and i’m not quite sure what to make of you. kneel a wayward child and rise a hunter of artemis. glittering silver bow and quiver and arrows made of materials that only gods can think of. glittering circlet on your head identifies you as a favored champion. do not disappoint the one whose gifts keep you standing. 

annaleigh barrow has a particular prowess in archery and incredibly vision at night. at just twenty five, for the last hundred and fifty years, give or take, they have faithfully served the goddess artemis as one of her hunters. though only at the nemean lion for the last five years, they have taken a liking to this place and serve as one of artemis’ representatives. you can typically find them in the armory, working. 

on history

annaleigh has been twenty five for about a hundred and fifty years. 

they were born in 1838 and a middle child in a family of ten.

anna’s mama got pregnant by apollo after her fourth or fifth and anna was born ! totally not a surprise to anna’s mama that a result of an affair would join the family. 

they’d grown up watching their brothers help their father hunt for food but they were never allowed to join and relegated to the more feminine tasks.

when the war rolled around, they were living in the border state of virginia during the war, extremely close to the borderline with maryland. 

anna’s family chose the confederacy. anna chose the union. 

she abandoned her family for the war effort in 1862, joining with a group of women who had medical training as nurses to follow the union army as closely as they could for the preservation of life. anna, bolder than most, had a tendency to go with some soldiers into battle.

in 1863, a few months before their 25th birthday, anna laid their brother to rest and sent home a letter to their mother. to this day, she doesn’t know if they actually read the letter or burned it like they had with the others. 

1863 was an auspicious year for anna. it was the year they almost died. 

in a haze of pain and death and gore, artemis appeared to a bleeding out anna and promised respite. in exchange for their life, anna became one of artemis’ hunters. 

home had never felt real until they’d joined the hunters. 

once a child now a warrior grown, anna has excellent aim and control when it comes to utilizing the gifts of artemis and they only ever want to bring pride to the title of hunter.

they’re well known for getting women home safely and taking down their fair share of would be assaulters — most of them have a broken nose by the time they’ve been picked up by the cops.

anna has a particularly intimidating look to them and they like to keep most people at an arm’s length away. 

it feels easier that way than to lose people that they care about.

𝒆𝒗𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍

i hear your mother in your infectious laughter and i see your father in your arms, strong and compassionate. i see your step mother in your quick tongue. she was your mother’s gift to your father, after you. she also did right by you, i know that by the way she gave you those little girls who comprise your world. son of aphrodite your blessings are numerous, her love for you present in your everyday. 

evan lowell has a stunning gift, if i do say so myself. mama gifted him the ability to petrify his enemies with a kiss. imagine how that went over the first time. it’s gotten better over the years, and he certainly does his mama proud, but he’s been at lowell longer than most, almost since it opened. maybe that’s why he’s notorious for being the first to chomp at the bit to go on missions ( well, until his baby girls arrived ). now he’s in his office, twin girls running around.

on history

evan lowell doesn’t have a lot of bad days. even the days where things seem like they’re world endingly bad, good always cropped up for him. 

he had a really good childhood, surrounded by little siblings. 

evan’s dad, aiden, met his now-wife, drew ( short for druella ), about ten months after evan was born. aiden and drew have had six kids together, making evan the oldest of seven. he has Always had that Tired Dad aesthetic going on, even though he’s only two years older than his nearest sibling in age. 

evan was always involved in what his little siblings were doing and how he could help his parents. 

he has incredibly fond memories of helping his mama around the house with the chores. by seven he was washing windows and vacuuming like a champ. he had a love for order in the chaos of their household and his desire for a close knit family started here, in these moments. 

drew also taught him how to cook. aiden couldn’t cook for shit and drew thought that at least one of the lowell men should get a grip and learn how to. she also taught him most of the other household skills he knows, from changing a lightbulb to fixing the weather stripping on doors. aiden also taught evan how to work with most tools. 

this close family dynamic set evan up well for his future and for how he treats his own children. but first, we should rewind a little bit. 

evan had Big Fuckboy Energy when he was in high school. he was a jock ( football in the fall, baseball in the spring ), he was voted homecoming and prom king his senior year, and everyone saw him with a revolving door of girls around him. 

this perception is extremely funny to evan, because he grew up incredibly respectful and desiring a relationship like his parents, one as loving and full of laughter. evan never had more than one partner at a time, and his gentle heart was broken pretty easily. high school isn’t the time to be seeking commitment but that’s pretty much what evan desired from the time he could stumble around on his little feet. 

skip forward to age 23. evan met caroline. 

he thought he was going to marry this girl, he was so in love with her. but some things ! they’re just not meant to be ! 

 but lmao he did get her pregnant so that worked out great. 

they’re actually on good terms and they have a court order in place, just in case. they don’t ,,, usually follow it. they co-parent effectively and he still spends most major holidays with her so that the girls don’t feel isolated from one parent or another.

caroline has a girlfriend now, her name is ismelda ! they’re very happy and evan really likes her. 

the twins aren’t totally fleshed out yet but in my defense they are four so they’re still working on developing into their own little people. their names are natalie and nicole. 

𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒄𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒆

modern day witch aesthetics don’t begin to cover this kind of power. rose quartz lined windowsills meet tarot readings at midnight and sing the song of a queen of water; that song is about yourself. the  desire to run defeated by roots you didn’t mean to lay.

katharine mcclure spends a lot of time training others in the gym, it’s something that she enjoys doing. she’s intertwined with the weave of her mother’s magic, a gift she shares with most of her siblings. this little girl sewed chaos everywhere she’s been and only changed her ways when she got here. perhaps it’s because she wanted somewhere to belong, wanted somewhere to god. 

on history

katharine mcclure grew up in solitude, not that she minded much. 

her magic manifested itself early and for that she’ll always be thankful. 

she may not have had the best intentions at all times but it’s fine. no one died. 

that she knows of. 

i’ll update this ,,,, more ,,, soon, ,, i promise.

𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒂 𝒐'𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒌𝒆 

a child born of love and hardship, living and dead, she is a melancholic kind of beauty. her eyes sparkle with knowledge long since forgotten and twinkle with life. the voices that trail through her mind aren’t always hers but she understands the desire of wanting to be heard, wanting to be loved, wanting to move on from where they feel trapped. so she helps them. maybe that’s why papa left at eight years old after dropping her off at the nemean lion. maybe that’s why she grew up so lonely. 

melissa o’rourke typically sits at the counter in the lobby as an attendant. there are spirits there who flit about and talk to her, thankful for the first time in years someone could understand them. she just smiles and listens and these things have made her kind. they’re also gossip fonts, those pesky spirits, and people tend to be surprised by the things she knows. she’s been here a long time, a fixture of this place.  

on history

soon

𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆

in the name of the father, son, and holy spirit. i’m sorry that i press flowers between pages, i just want to preserve a beauty that is fleeting. i’m sorry violence comes from this act. i’m sorry because i don’t feel good enough, like i’m undeserving, like i’m not supposed to be here. is that because i’m the son of a man who holds open the gateway to death or is that because i’m the son of a woman who has never spent more than a week with me at a time? please let me skip to the part where i’m actually happy and not just pretending for the sake of pretending. amen. 

son of hades your bones sing a thousand songs and you don’t want to hear any of them. oliver henstridge grew up relatively well off, but you don’t come to the nemean lion at thirteen because your relationships with the mortal part of your family are all that great. he’ll leave for a week at a time every six to ten months to spend some time with his mother but usually he’s somewhere around the nl, being bothersome, making tiktoks, whatever he feels like doing in the moment. for a boy with the ability to manipulate shadows, to bend that piece of reality to his will and step through them like doors to the other side of the world, he certainly doesn’t take anything too seriously.

on history

soon

on wanted connections

soon

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler.  This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week.  Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show. 

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display. 

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other). 

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK.  Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji* 

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).  

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest.  Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city. 

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

[easyhairstylesbest]

Sarah Paulson on Not Sitting in a 'Space of Judgement' While Playing Linda Tripp

American Crime Story, the Emmy-winning FX series that gave audiences a closer look into the trial of O.J. Simpson and the assassination of Gianni Versace, will be tackling a new, eerily relevant topic in its third season: the impeachment of President Bill Clinton.

The season, appropriately titled Impeachment: American Crime Story, will explore the case against Clinton, which infamously involved his sexual relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Clive Owen will play the role of Clinton, while Beanie Feldstein will take on Monica Lewinsky. The season, originally set to begin filming in March before the pandemic hit, has now officially started filming. Deadline previously reported that production would begin on October 13.

John Landgraf, chairman of FX Networks and FX Productions, said when the season was announced in August 2019, “Impeachment: American Crime Story will…explore the overlooked dimensions of the women who found themselves caught up in the scandal and political war that cast a long shadow over the Clinton Presidency.”

Here, all we know about season 3 so far, including Sarah Paulson’s wild Linda Tripp transformation.

When will it be released?

American Crime Story season 3 was originally slated to premiere September 27, 2020 at 10 p.m. EST, less than two months before the 2020 presidential election. But in January, FX announced the premiere date was changed to accommodate a shifting production schedule. At the Television Critics Association press tour on January 9, Landgraf said, according to Deadline, “We won’t make it by September. We can’t start [production] until March 21 of this year and we won’t physically be done until October. So it’s a long production.” Landgraf attributed delays to creator and executive producer Ryan Murphy, who just finished up The Prom for Netflix.

However, those plans were scrapped once more when the pandemic hit and filming could no longer take place. Production officially started in the fall, around the time it was originally meant to conclude. Paulson, who plays Lewinsky’s confidant Linda Tripp, shared a surprising first look at shooting. “Linda. American Crime Story: Impeachment has begun principle photography ⁦@MrRPMurphy,” she tweeted alongside a behind-the-scenes photo.

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It’s unclear at this point when the season will air—but a 2021 date seems likely.

Who’s involved?

Beanie Feldstein will play Monica Lewinsky.

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ACS alum Paulson will play Linda Tripp, the woman who secretly taped Lewinsky confessing to the affair.

Paulson told Deadline that playing the role is “totally challenging in a way that is very exciting to me as an actor, but it’s not super easy to live inside of it as a human being.” She added, “I think about something that Steve McQueen said to me when we were shooting 12 Years a Slave with him, how important it was for me to stand back from my own judgement of the character and to not sit in a space of judgement, and that it wouldn’t help me play the part, and it wouldn’t help me tell the story… Unlike Marcia Clarke, who was so misunderstood and vilified erroneously, this story with Linda is much more complicated. I don’t think a lot of people in life don’t stand in the mirror and constantly assess what they’re doing. I think Linda was just not one of those people who was, perhaps, not aware of just how far this story was going to go, and what her part was going be.”

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Annaleigh Ashford is set to play Paula Jones, the woman who accused Clinton of sexual harassment and sued him in 1994.

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Clive Owen will play Bill Clinton.

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Billy Eichner will play conservative blogger Matt Drudge, who first reported the existence of a Newsweek story about Clinton and Lewinsky’s affair.

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Betty Gilipin has been cast as conservative political commentator Ann Coulter.

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Does Monica Lewinsky approve of the project?

Feldstein, who plays Lewinsky, will be a producer on the show, along with the real-life figure herself. The show will be written by playwright Sarah Burgess, who will also be an executive producer, alongside Ryan Murphy, Paulson, and others. In early September, Michael Uppendhal (Fargo, Mad Men) stepped in to direct and executive produce the series after previously announced director Richard Shephard exited due to the filming delay, per Deadline.

In the past, Murphy said he would only feel comfortable working on a season about the Clinton impeachment if Lewinsky, who has become an anti-bullying activist after receiving intense scrutiny and press, was involved. He once told The Hollywood Reporter, “I told [Monica Lewinsky], ‘Nobody should tell your story but you, and it’s kind of gross if they do. If you want to produce it with me, I would love that; but you should be the producer and you should make all the goddamn money.'”

Lewinsky recently gave Vanity Fair an exclusive statement about how she came to work on the project. She wrote:

I was hesitant, and truthfully more than a little scared to sign on. But after a lengthy dinner meeting with Ryan, I came to understand even more clearly how dedicated he is to giving a voice to the marginalized in all of his brilliant work. I’m privileged to work with him and the other talented people on the team, and I’m privileged to have this opportunity.

People have been co-opting and telling my part in this story for decades. In fact, it wasn’t until the past few years that I’ve been able to fully reclaim my narrative; almost 20 years later.

But I’m so grateful for the growth we’ve made as a society that allows people like me who have been historically silenced to finally reintroduce my voice to the conversation. This isn’t just a me problem. Powerful people, often men, take advantage of those subordinate to them in myriad ways all the time. Many people will see this as such a story and for that reason, this narrative is one that is, regretfully, evergreen.

Lewinsky in Washington, DC, in 1999.

CHRIS KLEPONISGetty Images

How can I learn more?

According to Variety, this third season will be based on Jeffrey Toobin’s book A Vast Conspiracy: The Real Story of the Sex Scandal That Nearly Brought Down a President, if you want to dive further into the story before the show’s premiere.

Toobin’s book The Run of His Life: The People v. O.J. Simpson also inspired the show’s season about the O.J. Simpson trial.

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Madison Feller Madison is a staff writer at ELLE.com, covering news, politics, and culture.

Savannah Walsh Editorial Fellow Savannah Walsh is an Editorial Fellow at ELLE.com.

Lauren Puckett Lauren Puckett is a writer and assistant for Hearst Magazines, where she covers culture and lifestyle.

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Sarah Paulson on Not Sitting in a 'Space of Judgement' While Playing Linda Tripp

[mockjesse]

100 important questions about jesse girard.

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

jesse thomas girard

Where and when were you born?

i was born in wilmington, north carolina on october 1st, 1988.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

hans girard ( my father) has owned his own pub since he first came to america in 1986. he’s hard working, emotionally distant, and very a man of few words. hans only speaks when he absolutely has to. frieda girard (my mother) managed finances at the pub and was a part owner of a gift shop downtown. she was also very emotionally distant, but she was much more outspoken than her husband. she passed away in september of 2017.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

N/A ( i’m an only child, thank god )

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

now i reside in los angeles ( ocean park ), on my own in a 501 sq ft. studio apartment. it’s pretty cozy, i don’t think i’d ever upgrade, i like the space i have. my favorite spot is my balcony.

What is your occupation?

director/producer for the hit television show, countenance

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

i’m 6′3, 196 pounds, with brown eyes and dark brown hair. i live in oversized sweaters and jeans, but sometimes i’ll venture out in a pair of sweats and a t shirt, that’s quite rare. not as rare as formal attire. i don’t think i own a suit but i have two nice button down shirts and one pair of navy slacks. i have a scar that stretches from the bottom of my belly button to my left pelvic bone from a sledding accident when i was nine. i have two tattoos that are very hidden. one on my right hip ( a dara celtic knot for my maternal grandmother, who was irish ) and a vacancy sign across the right side of my chest ( a drunken decision )

To which social class do you belong?

upper class.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

shellfish allergy, and a few mental illnesses.

Are you right- or left-handed?

lefthanded

What does your voice sound like?

deep and often monotone. friends have observed that i sometimes use a german accent (much like my fathers) to refer to anything german or my heritage.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“like”

“actually”

“literally”

“fuck you”

“don’t touch me”

“ok so”

“no”

“jesus fuck”

What do you have in your pockets?

loose change as always, my wallet, a pack of spearmint gum ( which i religiously chew ) and my keys.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

i bite my nails down to a nub. it makes everyone crazy. i nibble at them until they bleed. i crack my knuckles when i’m nervous. sometimes i click my tongue when i’m trying to avoid saying something I’ll regret. when someone is talking to me at work, i may walk away halfway through the conversation to do something else, not because i’m bored but because i have so many things to do and if i don’t do it now, i’ll forget.

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

it wasn’t easy growing up in my household. you developed thick skin very early on, and you learned to rely on yourself. there weren’t many warm and fuzzy moments, but they provided all of my essential needs such as food, water, and a roof over my head.

What is your earliest memory?

probably my fourth birthday party at mcdonalds. i hated clowns. it was hell. i swear ronald had it out for me.

How much schooling have you had?

i got my bachelors at university of north carolina at wilmington and my masters at nyu

Did you enjoy school?

absolutely. it was an escape for me. home life could be very discouraging, i could show up on campus, take a test, and suddenly i felt better.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

i suppose my teachers and professors taught me most of what i know today.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

my role models ended up being directors i idolized growing up. my favorites are stanley kubrick and alfred hitchcock. i suppose you can call them role models. i want what they have, i want to direct thrillers and leave the audience on the edge of their seats. i think they each value suspense and storytelling, and i do too.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

i did not get on very well with my parents. i think my uncles and aunts were easier to get along with, because they have become much more collectivist through the years. they gave me most of my affection in my childhood. my grandparents gave solid advice so i valued them too.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

at one point i wanted to be a police officer but most little boys do. that dream vanished quick, i think directing came at age eleven.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

i liked to watch movies. i hated tv shows. i would turn on hbo or showtime and just watch movie after movie while my parents worked. i liked to skateboard as a teenager, and i also took up photography as a hobby during middle school and high school.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

many people joked that i was a 40 year old man trapped in a 8 year old’s body. i was always very quiet, very observant. i never spoke unless spoken to, that was rare. i was very restless, i hated bullies. i would defend a kid i didn’t even know on the playground. i was suspended for many fights.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? When and with whom was your first kiss?

not popular at all, i was too quiet. i had a few friends in middle school and one good one in high school. i did not open up to a lot of people, so i think a lot of people took that personal. my friends in middle school were always studious but goofy. we drifted apart when we went to different high schools. my best friend in high school was nick staffield, who was a lot like me. we were both quiet and distant but we had this mutual understanding that we didn’t need to know what the other person went home to. he had a pretty rough homelife too. so we would go to the cinema after class or stay behind after photography to look at our negatives. my first kiss with a girl was with annaleigh winslow, she was my first girlfriend. it was freshman year. she had to make all of the first moves because i was really unfamiliar with romance. my first kiss a guy was with nick, our senior year. it unfortunately was one of the reasons we lost touch.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

not a virgin, no. i lost my virginity with a girl in college, freshman year. we hooked up at a party, i think her name was rachel. we didn’t do formalities. it was nice, and she didn’t expect much from me after, so i appreciated her. however, it set unusually high standards for hookups at parties. my first time with a guy was different. it was senior year of college and we went into it with no strings attached. he was some big jock so i went with it, i figured he wasn’t into relationships. but he also wouldn’t stop texting me afterwards. his name was alex, i think he has a fiancee now.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

i think my first table reading of countenance was surreal. it made me feel like it was all coming together. i feel bad, i made very few notes to the actors, but i think i was immersed, completely.

Who has had the most influence on you?

i would say my professors from tisch and uncw. their input, their criticism, and their teachings have pushed me to be where i am today.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

my greatest achievement was getting a second season of countenance. i honestly didn’t see it coming, but i’m a pessimist.

What is your greatest regret?

not saying goodbye to my mother before she passed.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

i don’t know if i’ve done anything evil but i did sleep with a married professor...

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

just some minor tickets for drinking in college.

When was the time you were the most frightened?

i hate heights, so any time i have to go on a plane? i have a panic attack.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

one time i stretched during a presentation in grad school and my shirt button popped off and everyone started laughing and i wanted to die.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

i think i would open myself up more to people and relationships. it would have prepared me more.

What is your best memory?

i think when i got a call about a network picking up countenance. i was floored, i threw up.

What is your worst memory?

finding out my mother had passed away while i was filming.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

pessimist.

What is your greatest fear?

i think complete failure scares me a lot... but loneliness keeps me up at night.

What are your religious views?

agnostic.

What are your political views?

liberal

What are your views on sex?

love it, but it comes with a lot of strings attached so i’ve been holding off.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

nah i couldn’t kill. just seriously injure.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

i think levels of disrespect are what lead us to be evil. i won’t dwell on it or expand because it’ll anger me.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

no but i do believe in love.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

i think setting out to do what you want and then accomplishing some or most of it is pretty damn successful.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

i’m never honest. i hate telling others what’s on my mind, or how i’m feeling. it feels too personal, and it feels invasive. i’m selective about who i share with.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

i think we all do. i was conditioned to, but i’m unlearning all of them.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

i refuse to fucking sky dive because i don’t see the point of plummeting to your death and relying on a flimsy piece of cloth to save me ? no ? fuck that ? why do people like to fall out of the motherfucking sky?

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

uhh.. my friends. the few i have. if i form a close bond with someone, even if i don’t open up to them, i’d most likely take a bullet for them. i may be stoic but i’m a pile of mush inside.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

i keep most people at a distance as a default. i don’t treat anyone poor unless they absolutely warrant it. i try to remain civil with everyone. with people i’m close with, my softer side is more common. i like to give them more of my personality to make up for my lack of affection or emotional availability.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

i’m not sure i have someone like that.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

*

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

*

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

no spouse, no s/o. it’s complicated.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

no i haven’t but i have experienced spells of infatuation and it’s probably the worst thing i’ve ever dealt with in my life. who likes to feel all that shit at once? jesus, what a mess.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

i’d really like.. someone who understands me without any invasive questions. they won’t ask me for more than i can give. i’m so inexperienced in romance so my s/o would have to be patient with me. i guess beyond that? a nice smile.. yeah i’d like them to have a nice smile.

How close are you to your family?

not very. i do speak with my aunts sometimes, that’s about it.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

no family, i’m not really sure if i’ll ever reach that point in my life. it sounds terrifying. i don’t think i’m qualified to take care of another human like that. it’s miraculous my fish have survived as long as they have.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

there’s some people in the crew and the cast that i might call if i absolutely had to. i really don’t like to rely on someone else, though.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

not really.. i mean once again i feel like one person might come to mind but it’s.. yeah that’s dumb, sorry. we barely know each other so i’m overreacting.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

my goldfish would probably miss me, they wouldn’t be able to eat, after all.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

i don’t despise anyone. i dislike a few people. i think they all know who they are.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

god i should avoid conflict but i don’t. i try to remain neutral unless i’m having a bad day, or if i feel like someone is being treated poorly. then the gloves come off.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

i hate doing it, but yeah. i think my job has taught me that the only way to succeed is to take a leadership role. it drains me, but the outcome is always rewarding.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

jesus fuck, no way. those convention panels shouldn’t exist. that’s my hell. i hate answering questions, especially personal ones. thank god, the business related questions are usually directed at me, while the personal ones are directed at my cast. otherwise i think i’d lose it.

Do you care what others think of you?

i think it depends on the person. i care what my family thinks. other than that.. not really.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

i like photography and painting with watercolors. it helps with creativity so i never run dry. i get inspiration from the smallest thing, so it keeps me fresh.

What is your most treasured possession?

my projector or my laptop. i love technology so much, i wish i had something more meaningful but that’s what comes to mind.

What is your favorite color?

navy or olive.

What is your favorite food?

grilled cheese. i think i eat it more than i should.

What, if anything, do you like to read?

i think i just thumb through the classics, the most. steinbeck is my favorite author, sometimes i’ll read thoreau.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

a movie with beautiful cinematography, a song with a symphony or large instrumental accompany, or a mini series.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

i think if you drew blood from me, half of it would actually be red wine. i love red wine. i drink a glass or two every night. i used to smoke cigarettes... i’ll smoke one after sex because i’m a walking cliche. i hate drugs for the most part. they never give me the thrill people claim to have when they take them. to me it’s a waste of time when you could have a better night with a bottle of cabernet.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

usually i’ll put a movie on my projector and i’ll pretend to start a book, but then i’ll just watch a tv show or something.

What makes you laugh?

i actually love certain vines. cute animal vines have a place in my stony heart.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

rain ponchos are fucking atrocious.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

i usually get up and paint or i’ll sit outside on my balcony and people watch with a cup of coffee. usually everyone’s drunk, so what more could you ask for?

How do you deal with stress?

i stress clean. or i stew about it until i can nap.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

planning is sexy. a top ten turn on for me.

What are your pet peeves?

well there’s a special place in hell for anyone who doesn’t use a fucking turn signal when switching lanes.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

usually i get up, grab a cup of coffee and a granola bar and head to work. if i wake up late and forget the granola bar or coffee, my coworkers are in trouble.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

i think my determination and organization. i believe that’s how i got my own show at a young age like this

What is your greatest weakness?

my inability to relate to people or my emotional capacity. it’s just low and i think i really miss out on a lot because of it.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i think i’d be more open with my friends. tell them more about myself.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

introverted.

Are you generally organized or messy?

organized.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

three things i’m good at: my job, anything requiring creativity, & organization

three things i’m bad at: anything with hand eye coordination, staying in my lane, & responsibility.

Do you like yourself?

this is a loaded question. i like traits about myself. overall there’s a lot i’d change.

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

i would love one oscar, at least. i feel like i could easily retire with one (1) oscar.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

hopefully still at countenance, maybe wrapping it up and venturing into movies.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

in my sleep. please @ god or something.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

travel is always on my bucket list but that’s hard in 24 hours. i think i’d make a lot of phone calls and say stuff to people that i couldn’t say right now. i would want everyone to know exactly how i feel about them. i’d probably eat a whole bowl of cookie dough because you gotta go out in a blaze of glory. and then maybe i’d have sex one last time because it’s been awhile...

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

hopefully, my accomplishments on screen. i know i can also be difficult on set... but i’d like my cast and crew to think of me in a positive light... maybe have an impact on them too.

What three words best describe your personality?

witty, tempestuous, & protective.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

stoic, tempestuous, & enigmatic.

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

ooc; honestly jesse ?! if you spent half your time telling others how you really felt, you’d solve 99.9% of your problems. it’s so hard to open up, but you’re missing out on life by holding everyone at an arms length, man !! please just @ people next time ? jesus christ dude.

[gretagerwigarchive]

Greta Gerwig, Accidental Movie Star

by Mark Asch, 03/28/2012

source: http://www.thelmagazine.com/2012/03/greta-gerwig-accidental-movie-star/

Like you, Greta Gerwig is still figuring out how she ended up in the job that’s working out surprisingly well for her. Since she arrived at the SXSW Film Festival in 2006, on spring break from her senior year at Barnard, in conjunction with her first film role in Joe Swanberg’s LOL, her onscreen roles and career trajectory have traced an arc familiar to many from her generational cohort. Initially playing stumbling postcollegiate strivers in films from the loosely associated DIY movement everybody kept claiming to hate referring to as “mumblecore,” Gerwig these last few years has graduated to Hollywood comedies like No Strings Attached and Arthur, and has become something of a muse to the literate, neurotic writer-directors to have emerged from previous indie epochs. She was the secret heart of Noah Baumbach’s Greenberg; she stars in the first film in over a decade by writer-director Whit Stillman, Damsels in Distress, a daffy comedy about campus mores which comes out April 6; the big kahuna, Woody Allen’s To Rome with Love, comes out in June. We met for lunch earlier this month, before she headed uptown to see the new production of Death of a Salesman; our conversation follows, give or take some grumbling about New York’s gentrification and what the internet is doing to our brains.

Is there any kind of trade-off as far as having been in films, at least initially, where you had some claim to authorship over them, versus now? How comfortable are you with the trade-off? The trade-off is strange as far as—I love it some ways. In some ways it’s wonderful to have a strong author to a film, a writer-director like Whit, but. It’s frustrating when you both don’t have a voice and then there isn’t someone else with a strong vision. That’s really hard, because then it feels like I don’t know what language I’m speaking, or what world I’m in, no one really setting the tone. It’s a pleasure to be in someone else’s world and vernacular, but it is hard in terms of… I don’t know, acting in some ways is so selfless, it’s strange because actors do get a lot of visible glory, but at the same time, there are ways in which you’re really a vessel for someone else, and always in someone else’s world, and I don’t know that I’m always adequately selfless—I’m always deeply impressed by actors that give only to the character and it’s not about themselves at all, and I always struggle with that, I always feel like I’m battling between what Greta thinks—

Is it a kind of self-consciousness? It’s more like, I mean on a very base level, it will be like: I’ll be reading a script and have an opinion about it and say, “I could’ve written this better!” But it’s… that’s not good. But I think on another level—this sounds pretentious, not pretentious, but I think it’s an actress I admire very much said it, but it’s a little elevated, but someone said, Actors are written in water. A performance disappears as soon as it appears, and even if it’s caught on film it’s gone.

I think that was Keats’s epitaph, actually. Really? Well, an actress said this, at a moment of passion. Anyway, there is a way in which it’s fated as soon as it’s begun, so if you have any sort of author instinct, you have to kind of squish it down.

I had a question for you about writing. You wrote, initially. Do you still? What are you working on? I shot a movie that I wrote.

Oh, you did? I hadn’t heard about that, can you tell me about it? It’s a secret. It should be at festivals this fall or next winter, but it’s done, it’s shot, so… Still writing! It’s sort of deliberately been under the radar because it’s hard to surprise people and everyone has expectations about it.

You were doing dramatic writing in college, right? I was doing playwriting in college. And I love the theater, so I did a lot that when I was in college, and I kept doing it after college but I got pulled into this world. I think in some ways—I mean I do love film, but I think if I had been pulled into the world of theatre, that had as many opportunities, I would have hung on—

Writing or acting, or both? Both. It was more of a response to when you’re just out of college, it’s like a desert. It’s like, you’ve gone from—there’s a rich culture, so many opportunities, people are responding to everything you do and interested and willing to enter you and give you small amounts of funding to work on stuff, giving you awards every two seconds. And out of college, there’s nothing, you have no structure—and I’m so grateful to Joe Swanberg and Andrew Bujalski and the Duplasses that that they were making all this work and that I could just dive into what they were doing. So much of the battle was about forward momentum, and all you want to do is be given a canvas. I love films and I love what we did but I also think in some ways it was happenstance.

This makes another good segue, because the film that we’re promoting, you and I, Damsels in Distress, which I love, and which we’ll get to— Yay! I love it so much.

Well, let’s talk about that. We’ll go back to college. It’s just so virtuous and credulous and you’re playing somebody’s who’s discovering all these belief systems and internal logics for the first time. I think it’s just such an openhearted movie about… I guess, generousness of spirit. She’s the most sincere liar, too. She’s a terrible liar, but she completely means it the whole time. It’s such an odd character, such an odd group of characters—and movie. Watching it, the first time I watched it was in Venice at the film festival, and the strangeness was heightened by the fact that it was mostly an Italian audience, the jokes don’t totally work for them or they would work a little later because of the subtitles, but when I was making it I really believed in Whit’s world. It all started sounding really rational. When I originally read the script, it seemed that it was heightened and satire and I started making it—

He means everything, I think. He means everything. It’s totally sincere on his part. He’s not making fun of these people and he’s not making fun of their ideas, or what they’re going through, and, I don’t know, there’s this quality he has in his filmmaking that it’s hard to put my finger on that I really really like. It happens in Last Days of Disco and in Metropolitan I think the most. But there’s something that happens towards the end of the movie in his movies, people are often just sort of… forgiven.

He has a remarkably inclusive worldview, I think. I like that he writes about these very circumscribed social microcosms where you don’t really have the option of not socializing with somebody because of personal animosity or romantic rivalry and then by the end everybody is sort of reconciled to each other. I think he likes all his characters, I don’t think he writes bad people. Even the people who are difficult, like Violet, or the Kate Beckinsale character in The Last Days of Disco, he likes them. He’s generous with all of them.

Is it interesting, because he’s I guess 60 years old now— He is? Oh my goodness, I didn’t know.

Well, I was interested because it’s a much different perspective on this age bracket than many of the films you’ve made with people who are much closer to you in age. I know. It’s a much more interesting perspective.

It’s what youth looks like I suppose to somebody else, for once. I don’t think—you know it’s funny, but I never really thought about it as a movie about young people. I think in his world adults behave the same way. I tend not to look at like, this is about young people—I mean, most things are about young people, so it’s hard to…

Yes, but I mean there’s things specifically— College—

Well not even college, but the way that somebody like your character repeats things and the way your character tests out everyone else’s formulations. It seems at least sort of formative or tentative. Not to get sidetracked into arguing… No, I just thought it was interesting that I never really thought of it like that. I mean it just seemed so out of time, in a way. I guess it didn’t have that “this is how young people live today” feeling, which, some of the other movies I’ve done feels like that. It felt like it was about young people in a world that never existed.

How was it working with a group of younger and, at this point, lesser-known actresses for the most? I guess that’s fairly a fairly recent development for your career right, at least in terms of larger films. It is. They were great. I mean, it was sort of like, actually most of us were around like 27 or 26 when we made it. Annaleigh Tipton’s younger, but everyone else was sort of—me and Aubrey Plaza and Megalyn and Caitlin were all sort of… it was actually kind of nice in that way, acting like you’re in college after you’re out of college, only Analeigh was actually college age, but the idea of being the known element is utterly absurd still to me. But I would say more than being sort of a whatever-that-means known element, it’s the first time I’ve ever been number one on the call sheet. It’s different the way that you feel in a movie. Because even if you’re a big part but you’re not the biggest part you still come in and do your work, but you’re not setting the tone for everyone. And actually doing that was a challenge, I loved doing it but it’s terrifying because—it must be, this is an unfair comparison, but it must be sort of what it feels like to have a child, where you realize, “Well, my parents never knew what they were doing. You just… can have a baby.” You always feel like, when you’re lower down on the call sheet, the person who’s number one seems that they must have some secret knowledge that you don’t have. But for the most part they don’t, everyone’s just acting every day.

It’s. I suppose, analogous to pretty much anything that people in our age bracket are experiencing in whatever field they’re in, by now. Or it’s creepy when you realize that people I went to college with are now out of medical school, or out of law school. And it’s like, “She’s my fucking doctor? I did E with her at four in the morning on a roof!” But now they’re becoming the people… There’s this Joseph Conrad novella called The Shadow Line, it’s about being 27, when you cross this “shadow line,” from boyhood into manhood, It’s about this guy who takes over a ship when the captain dies, and stuff happens, and he’s all of a sudden given, he’s become the captain of the ship, and it’s happened in a second, and he realizes he’s crossed the shadow line, and now he can’t go back. It’s great, it’s not that long, but it’s so good, it’s so good, and it ends with him talking to all these old sailors—or it’s framed so he’s telling the story of when he was 27, and he’s old now. And old in Joseph Conrad stories is, like, 50. It’s so sad, it’s so sad, and he’s talking about being young and he sort of says, like, none of us knew that was going to be the happiest we ever were.

I went back and reread an interview you did with Lena Dunham where you talked about wanting to work with Woody Allen, about how he “had an erotic renaissance with Scarlet Johannsson and he can have a neurotic renaissance with” you. I guess I did say that.

And I was wondering, now, how it came about? And how the experience was, in comparison to what you expected. I think if you had a moment that you’ve been anticipating and can’t believe that it’s happening and you’ve been building up your whole life, you almost can’t experience it while it’s happening, so it was amazing, but it also had a very dreamlike quality and I also feel like I want to do it again. I want to go back and do it again, I want him to make another movie… I had a great part, but it was also very much an ensemble and I wanted to spend 24 hours a day with him. I think it’s always a struggle to be present in your own life while it’s happening, especially while good things are happening—but yeah I watched the documentary about him a couple of months later and I didn’t feel like I had had that experience, it still felt removed to me. Maybe if I see the movie, it’ll feel like that.

As a director, is he particularly—not demanding, but specific? Yeah, he’s specific. It’s funny, people always say he doesn’t direct, but he really does direct, in my experience. He gives you freedom with the words—oh my gosh, doesn’t that dessert look really good? I might get it—he says, “Oh, say whatever you want to say,” but he’s looking for a sound, I think he’s looking for something that sounds naturalistic to him. He’ll push it until he hears what he wants, which is, you know, that’s what good directors do.

That’s interesting because you see a lot of sort of open-ended takes where there’s enormous of variety in terms of style or vocal mannerism. It seems like an interesting contrast between him having very specific standards and the results on screen often looking very relaxed. It’s pretty amazing to me that still makes a film a year. It’s odd that—I think that there’s two different kinds of actors, I think there are actors who fell in love with acting, and I think there are actors who feel in love with writing. And I think I’m an actress who fell in love with writing more than even acting, and with Woody Allen and other people… I love participating in them, as writers. But the same time, part of me, I think that’s why I write too. Part of me is like, “Was I responding to wanting to be them, or be part of them? Did I want to have my own experience of doing that do I want to be part of their experience of doing it?”

Do you have a sense when you’re working with other performers—do you feel that most of the performers you’ve worked sort of give in to the script. Do you feel like you’re in the minority or the majority? I think it depends. I think a lot of my favorite actors are ones who are in love with acting, and maybe I’m just self-loathing. But I think a lot of my favorite actors, I think they’re the ones who can take mediocre material and elevate it. Because they’re so in love with acting that they can do that. I don’t know. I’m not quite sure I think that there’s a good number of actors that I love who know struggle with it too. Gene Hackman is one of my favorites, he has nothing good to say about acting, pretty much.

That’s his persona, too. That’s the thing, yeah, I’m such a sucker, too, I believe personas, I believe interviews, sometimes I’ll read things, like, “That’s the truth” and my agent’s always like, “Greta, you of all people should know this is not always true.” I can’t like separate it, if I read a profile of someone… I actually think some of the best, for me, whenever I feel like uninspired, especially as an actor, I love listening to Terry Gross’s interviews with actors, she always asks great questions and she gets them talking about something they love, and listening to really smart, interesting actors talk about why they love acting makes you want to do it. I just heard Viola Davis talk about it and I was like, “Oh my god,” I was crying, she’s talking about her grandmother and what it means to be an actor and it’s really I think that’s always a good thing. I don’t know, I think listening to other actors talk about acting is the best way to learn about it.

One thing I remember vividly from Hannah Takes the Stairs was the sense that the struggle for the character that you played was about expressing herself, verbally and whatever else that implies, and the film that I thought of at the time was actually Kicking and Screaming, because it was a completely opposite tack, people talking around and around and around the same problems. And I was wondering, as you’ve started to work with directors who are known as writers of great dialogue, about the difference between performing inarticulacy and performing articulacy. Well, I love scripts, I love lines, I love working with good ones… With Whit, the character of Violet is the most articulate character I’ve ever played. I don’t have the sense of Hannah, or other films that I made—we got a lot of shit for the way we used language, or for people struggling with what they were going to say, but I don’t know that struggling to find the right word is necessarily a sign of inarticulacy. It’s odd because I think sometimes it shows someone who cares a lot about language, because they’re struggling and can’t find the words. Mike Nichols said something about—I actually, as a person who both acts in things and writes things, I’m not that interested in improvisation. I don’t like it that much. I don’t think it’s that useful. Most often it yields something that might be interesting, but feels like a rehearsal. And then you need somebody like Mike to go away and shape it and make it amazing and come back and execute. Mike Nichols said something, he came from an improvisational background, that there’s this quality to improv where someone says something, they’re not really thinking about their motivation or anything else, they’re just so proud to have thought of something to say. And there’s this kind of, “I just thought of this and now I’m gonna say it,” and he said that ideally all lines should feel that way too. And the biggest thing for me, with really great dialogue, is finding the words spontaneously appear for you, in your body, and they come out in the same—I think that’s what’s exciting. I think that’s what the whole struggle with acting is. In Greenberg, I had very precise things to say, but they weren’t very erudite… Often, she struggled to find the right thing to say. So sort of artificially creating that struggle…

Is that different from going through it— Yeah. Because it has a predetermined meaning, as opposed to inventing the meaning while you’re doing the scene. I haven’t done straight improv like that in a long time. It’s an odd skill. It’s cool, but the well runs dry at some point.

Let’s talk about New York stuff. Where do you live? I live in Chinatown. Off of East Broadway, so real deep. I love it. It feels like After Hours. It shuts down really early and the streets are deserted and it feels crazy.

Where were you before Chinatown? I’ve lived a lot of places. Before Chinatown, I was in Chelsea, before that, I was in East Williamsburg, and before that I lived in Park Slope—we called it “Park Slide,” it was the not quite as nice part of Park Slope, by the water.

I suppose I should ask you about living in Brooklyn, and which bars you went to, and whether it’s completely ruined now—when were you in East Williamsburg? Like two years ago, two or three years ago. Right off of Grand.

By the high school? Yeah, they used to show the Met Opera there, which was convenient. I love Brooklyn, when I leave Chinatown I might go back, the only thing that could be hard about it is if the train’s not running, you’re screwed. Especially in Park Slope, my experience of being there was not having enough money to go anywhere, so it was a lot of getting just really cheap like Georgi vodka, we used to buy Georgi vodka and juice concentrate. It was disgusting. And we wouldn’t even unfreeze the juice concentrate to make juice, we just let it get a little soft, we’d mix it in and maybe add a little water, but it was like fully disgusting. Most of Brooklyn was just marked by being—it was a lot of drinking at home. My friend Gabby made up this phrase, we used to bring Naughty Nalgenes everywhere.

[testedtransgressor]

Category: Post Shock Rating: M Warning/s: Slavery, mention of rape, violence Originally Written: 12 August 2019

Set just after Elizabeth and Annaleigh are separated.

The first thing that Elizabeth realised as she stirred, was that they had stopped.

For most of the journey, the pickup truck driven by the man, Noah, had been rattling over the damaged roads, shaking so much that it had given her a headache. Somehow, though, she had managed to fall asleep.

The pickup was parked on the side of the road, near a small stand of trees. Elizabeth could see a stand of trees not too far away, but, like in most places, they had been burned back to clear the space surrounding the road.

“Mornin’, sunshine!”

Elizabeth looked over at Noah as he appeared around the side of the cab, leaning in through the open window. He unslung the rifle from his shoulder and dropped it on the seat, before pulling the door open. “Slept well, I take it?”

“I guess,” Elizabeth stated. She was still trying to get a read on Noah. He was unusually cheerful, despite all the shit he’d supposedly seen. She had witnessed an apparently generous nature, too - after all, he had volunteered to do the run from Millstream to what was left of the Atlanta Base Camp, pro bono.

“I cooked us up some meat,” he stated, reaching into the cab and pulling out a packet of cigarettes. They were a rare commodity nowadays, but Elizabeth had discovered that somehow, Noah had access to almost anything if he wanted it badly enough. She watched as he lit up the cigarette, exhaling smoke outside of the cab before looking at her. “You hungry?”

She was still getting used to Noah’s friendliness. He looked after her in a way that seemed like he enjoyed it, which was more than she’d ever gotten from Alaric.

“Yes,” she admitted with a small nod. Noah jerked his head towards the back of the pickup.

“Well, c’mon and get it!”

He shut his door and moved away, and Elizabeth hesitantly opened her door and climbed out of the cab. They were somewhere on the side of the road, and it was still early morning, but smoke from one of the nearby towns had tainted the sky.

“What happened?” She asked, nodding at the pillar of smoke that was rising up from a point on the horizon. Noah looked up from the pan he was scraping thin slices of meat off of, eyeing the smoke.

“Folks got desperate,” he said, the tone of his voice changing slightly. “They said they were plannin’ it, when we passed through. Lured a bunch of daemons into a large hall, locked them in, and torched the whole thing.”

“Did it work?” Elizabeth asked. Noah shrugged, dumping the food onto a round metal plate.

“Who knows? That place has been condemned anyway - even if it did work, all the survivors are shifting camp to some other place.”

Elizabeth accepted the plate and eating utensils he held out for her, and poked at the meat and what looked like eggs. She was starving, but the idea of being so close to a place that was now condemned made her feel uneasy.

“It happens a lot,” Noah reassured her, “Daemons hide in daylight, they find buildings and basements, anywhere with little to no light. If you realise your nearest town is infested, best bet is to torch the whole thing and move camp. Even if its only ten of the bastards, that’s ten less for the world to worry about.”

Elizabeth looked up from the plate as Noah sat on the tailgate of the pickup and patted the space beside him.

“It’s a lot nicer to eat sittin’,” he stated. Hesitantly, Elizabeth set the plate down and climbed up onto the tailgate beside him. They were far enough from the smoke that it wasn’t affecting her sense of smell, but the cloud was certainly stretching across the morning sky.

“You travel a lot,” she remarked. Noah shrugged.

“I do supply runs. You see all sorts of shit when it’s your job to get from A to B as fast as you can. No excuse to go around most of the bad places - you just gotta blast through it and pray you come out alive.”

“You’ve made it this far,” she offered. He snorted softly, leaning forward on his knees as he surveyed their surroundings.

“You’ll learn, Liz,” he said, his voice changing slightly. “There’ll come a point in time when you find out just how much you’re willin’ to give up just to keep breathin’. I pray for your sake, that time don’t come too soon.”

Elizabeth watched him carefully, noting the dark tension that seemed to have settled into his voice. She wanted to ask, but there was a sense of foreboding, as though fully broaching that topic would lead her into a side of the world that she wasn’t sure if she was ready for.

“I told Alaric that me and Annaleigh would cook for him,” she stated, “Keep his fire going at night, fix his clothes when they needed it, clean his weapons. I told him that we’d do that for him, so long as he kept feeding us. I basically sold us into slavery - not just me, but my little sister as well.”

“You did what you had to,” Noah shrugged. “It happens. You could’ve landed with far worse. That guy, he’s a rare kind.” He sighed heavily, shifting his position. “You’ll learn, Liz, bein’ out on the roads. People ain’t safe. Even the safe ones ain’t safe. People call the daemons monsters, but the truth is, the daemons are just humans without the rules that we force ourselves to follow. They don’t know better. Humans, though - they do. And they still do wrong. Daemons just give in to primal urges, but humans hold themselves back. Until they don’t.”

He looked at Elizabeth, and there was a dark shadow behind the pale blue of his eyes. “You’re gonna see some awful shit before we get to Atlanta, Liz. Alaric didn’t wanna expose you to it. But I say that’s bullshit. You gotta know the world, so you can know how to survive in it.”

Their tour took them across the country, stopping at all manner of places, from refugee camps to remnants of towns, right down to small settlements built from tents and scrap metal welded together. Elizabeth had never been allowed into settlements until Alaric had vetted them first, but Noah, she had quickly learned, was not like Alaric - he would check up on her if she was too quiet, but otherwise, Noah made no attempt to shield the horrors of reality from her.

[icameheretowinry]

92 Statements Tag Game

So, I was tagged by the lovely @jessthebooklover for this on my main, but since I’m more active on this blog, I’ll answer here. Thanks Jess! <3 

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Diet coke 2. Phone call: To my mom 3. Text message: To my mom 4. Song you listened to: “Little Bit” by Futuristik 5. Time you cried: Sometime last week

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: YES 10. Been depressed:  Yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Baby blue, poppy red (?), black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep! 18. Found out someone was talking about you: No 19. Met someone who changed you: No 20. Found out who your friends are: Sadly, yeah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nada

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 85% 23. Do you have any pets: No, but I want one 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope, I’ve grown to like it 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Stayed home, drank some champagne and ate some pizza. AMAZING 26. What time did you wake up: Since it’s summer, whenever 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Big Bang Theory with my dad and brother 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Getting my own apartment and job somewhere 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Lol right now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Sometimes, I’m way too introverted and self-judgmental, so I’m trying to work on that 31. What are you listening right now: My fam trying to find something to watch on Netflix 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, weirdly I know a lot of them (brother’s friends/guys from high school) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Not writing when I say I will dang it 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, by a landslide

LOST QUESTIONS. 35. Mole/s: Yes 36. Mark/s: Yes 37. Childhood dream: I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was ten 38. Hair Colour: Blond 39. Long or short hair:  Medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not anyone real lol 41. What do you like about yourself: I think I am kind, and I like my eyes 42. Piercings: Ears, maybe will get double piercings someday 43. Blood type: O (I think??) 44. Nickname: Nikki, Nik, Niks 45. Relationship status: Single lady 46. Zodiac: Scorpio 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Outside anime, Big Bang Theory, Will & Grace, Good Eats, and anything with Anthony Bourdain in it 49. Tattoos: Nope. I want one, but my rents would disown me lol. I also hate needles. 50. Right or left hand: Left 51. Surgery: Yep, a long time ago if you don’t count wisdom teeth 52. Hair dyed in different color: Highlights, but I want to do something crazy one day. Maybe pink?? 53. Sport: Lol, that’s a funny one. 55. Vacation: Tokyo, Norway, New Zealand, road trip through the British Isles, Singapore, I could go on… 56. Pair of trainers: Yeah

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating Currently: Just had some pasta for dinner 58. Drinking currently: Glass of red wine 59. I’m about to: Watch the next episode of Cowboy Bebop 61. Waiting for: Who knows? 62. Want to: Write some more, but likely won’t tonight 63. Get married: I don’t know, I need to fall in love first 64. Career: Journalist, producer, writer

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or younger: It doesn’t matter, as long as someone is mature 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Both

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex in the first date: Hasn’t happened, and I highly doubt I would 79. Broken someone’s heart: Nope 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Nope 82. Cried when someone died: Yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: Yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Sometimes 85. Miracles: Sometimes 86. Love at first sight: No, but prove me wrong 87. Santa Claus: I used too lol 88. Kiss in the first date: Yes 89. Angels: Not sure

OTHER: 90. Current best friends’ names: Julia, Daksha, Junior, Ariana, and Robyn (@the-heart-alchemist)  91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Right now, Howls Moving Castle (I just rewatched it and fell in love all over again!)

I know this long, so only do it if you want! I tag @thestaffofra, @the-heart-alchemist, @hawkeyedflame, @soundofhope, @annaleigh, @xennariel, @canadiangold, @allfullmetal, @teslaswife, @rizaandthehawkeyes

[digital-arts-etc]

15 Things You Might Not Know About A Sunday on La Grande Jatte - 1884

BY Kristy Puchko - May 1, 2015

At first glance, Georges-Pierre Seurat's A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 seems a warm portrait of a sunny day in a lovely park. But a closer look at the Neo-Impressionist's most famous work reveals much more.

1. A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 is made up of millions of dots.

Forging the new style with this first-of-its-kind painting, Seurat became the father of Pointillism and of Neo-Impressionism. However, he preferred to call his technique "chromo-luminarism," a term he felt better stressed its focus on color and light.  

2. It took Seurat more than two years to complete.

This complicated masterpiece of Pointillism began in 1884 with a series of almost 60 sketches Seurat made while people watching at the Paris park. Next he started painting, using small horizontal brush strokes. After this initial work, he began the labor-intensive realization of his vision with tiny dots of paint—a process that would not be completed until the spring of 1886.

3. Science was Seurat’s major muse for color choices.

"Some say they see poetry in my paintings," Seurat said. "I see only science." The artist was fascinated by the color theories of scientists Michel Eugène Chevreul and Ogden Rood, and he explored Divisionism in A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884. This painting method utilizes colors in patches that essentially trick the human eye into blending them, creating luminance and shape.

4. Ancient Egyptian, Greek, and Phoenician art inspired the Parisian scene.

Seurat sought to capture the people of his Paris just as these eras immortalized their citizens. Or as he once put it to French poet Gustave Kahn, "The Panathenaeans of Phidias formed a procession. I want to make modern people, in their essential traits, move about as they do on those friezes, and place them on canvases organized by harmonies of color."

5. Critics initially hated it.

Seurat's groundbreaking techniques were a major turnoff for some critics at the Impressionist exhibit where A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 debuted in 1886. Other observers sneered at the rigid profiles of Seurat’s subjects. Meant to recall Egyptian hieroglyphics, these poses were negatively compared to tin soldiers.

6. Sunday was revised in 1889.

Seurat re-stretched its canvas to allow for room to paint a border made up of red, orange and blue dots.

7. Seurat was just 26 when he completed his best-known work.

Thanks to his involvement in the artist collective the Société des Artistes Indépendants, the daring young painter's reputation was growing before A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 debuted. But while his output was seminal, it was also cut short in 1891 when Seurat died of an undetermined disease at age 31.

8. Sunday was largely unseen for 30 years following Seurat's death.

The opportunity to view the historic painting returned in 1924 when art lover Frederic Clay Bartlett purchased A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 and loaned it indefinitely to the Art Institute of Chicago.

9. An American philosopher helped reshape public opinion on the painting.

In the 1950s, Ernest Bloch's three-volume The Principle of Hope explored the socio-political interpretations of A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, spurring a renewed interest and appreciation for the piece.

"This picture is one single mosaic of boredom, a masterful rendering of the disappointed longing and the incongruities of a dolce far niente [idleness]," Bloch wrote. "The painting depicts a middle-class Sunday morning on an island in the Seine near Paris…despite the recreation going on there, seems to belong more to Hades than to a Sunday…The result is endless boredom, the little man's hellish utopia of skirting the Sabbath and holding onto it too; his Sunday succeeds only as a bothersome must, not as a brief taste of the Promised Land."

10. The painting is now displayed as Seurat intended.

Once he'd added his painted border, Seurat re-framed A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 in a specially-made wooden frame painted a crisp white. This display choice is still in effect at the Art Institute of Chicago.

11. But its colors have changed.

Seurat employed a then-new pigment in his painting, a zinc chromate yellow that he hoped would properly capture the highlights of the park's green grasses. But for years this pigment has been undergoing a chemical reaction that began turning it brown even in Seurat's lifetime.

12. It's bigger than you'd think.

Not just Seurat's most popular piece, but also his biggest, A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 measures in at 81 3/4 inches by 121 1/4 inches, or about 7 feet by 10 feet. Its large size makes its every inch flush with tiny dots of color all the more remarkable.

13. This park scene may hold hidden sex workers.

The titular locale was a favorite of prostitutes on the prowl, so some historians suspect that fish are not what the fishing-pole-toting woman on the left was hoping to hook. The same speculation has arisen around the lady on the right, with a monkey on a leash and a man on her arm.  

14. The painting was nearly incinerated while visiting New York.

On April 15, 1958, A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 was on loan at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City when a fire broke out in the adjoining Whitney Museum. The fire damaged six canvases, injured 31 people, and killed one workman, but Seurat's beloved work was whisked away to safety through an elevator evacuation plan.

15. It's one of the most reproduced and parodied paintings in the world.

A Sunday on La Grande Jatte —1884 earns screen time in the Chicago-set comedy Ferris Bueller's Day Off,

the science fiction cult classic Barbarella, and on the crude cartoon series Family Guy. It's been parodied by Sesame Street, The Simpsons, the American version of The Office,

and even the cover of Playboy. In Looney Tunes: Back in Action, Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd invade the painting. And celebrated Broadway icons Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine made a musical about its creation called, Sunday in the Park With George.

He is a thorny soul, a man neither happy nor particularly kind, and not someone you’d be likely to befriend. But when the 19th-century French painter Georges Seurat, reincarnated in the solitary flesh by a laser-focused Jake Gyllenhaal, demands that you look at the world as he does, it’s impossible not to fall in love.

Or something deeper than love — closer to religious gratitude — is the sentiment you may experience in the finale that concludes the first act of the marvelous revival of Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s “Sunday in the Park With George,” which opened on Thursday night at the newly restored Hudson Theater.

We have watched a restless day of rest in the park of the title, where an assortment of flâneurs and poseurs have become steadily more fractious and discordant.

Jake Gyllenhaal, far left, and Annaleigh Ashford, far right, in “Sunday in the Park With George,” at the Hudson Theater

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/23/theater/review-sunday-in-the-park-with-george-jake-gyllenhaal.html

http://mentalfloss.com/article/63510/15-things-you-might-not-know-about-sunday-la-grande-jatte-1884

[michellerlgr]

Lerato Tshabalala: Top five reality checks for every-damn-body

http://city-press.news24.com/Voices/lerato-tshabalala-top-five-reality-checks-for-every-damn-body-20160717

Writer and editor Lerato Tshabalala caused a storm of outrage this week after an extract from her book was published stating that she’ll hire ‘blue eyes before black guys’ because ‘the majority of my people are chancers and don’t give a damn about customer service'.

In this extract though, she is bound to offend all race groups:

There are things which, whether you’re a man or a woman, white, black or Indian, you’d like to say but, because you fear death, prison or divorce, you simply never utter.

For instance, when you’re at the cinema and the person sitting in front of you keeps checking his or her cellphone and the flashing blue light ruins your movie-watching experience.

Now, if you’re a middle-aged white guy, you don’t give a shit – you will tell the person to switch off their phone or put it away.

But if you’re a black woman in her 20s, you’re probably going to sit there and not say anything for fear of a heated confrontation in the dark.

But I’m one of those people who believe in complaining and standing up for myself, especially if I’m paying for something. Whether I’m at a restaurant or in a queue at the bank, if I’m not getting the service I deserve, I’ll complain.

I don’t protest at every turn, the way some of my white cadres do, but I do agree with Trevor Noah: you’ve got to know when to let rip. Too much complaining and you start sounding like you’re whining. However, I’m saddened that black people don’t complain.

We’re so worried about causing a scene or being seen as “difficult” that we accept any kind of bullshit, which is a real pity because, when you demand the best from people, you raise the level of service.

I won’t lie: I do think that some white people are too quick to call the manager and declare how “the service is utterly shocking”, but I’d rather have someone cause a scene than suffer in silence.

When I booked an overseas trip with a travel agent in 2015 and they mucked up almost everything (wrong pick-up times, no transfers), I wrote a letter to the agent to complain.

When I didn’t get anywhere and after the manager of the local agency was rude to me via email, I escalated the issue. Eventually, after I sent another email complaining about the treatment I got, the regional manager got in touch with me. She listened and addressed the problem.

At no point did I use swear words or capitals or unnecessary exclamation marks (don’t you hate it when people do that?) to make my point.

I wanted it to be clear that what I was unhappy about was the conduct of the agency manager and the lack of regard for my feelings and rights as a customer.

When you pay for something, especially something as expensive as an overseas family holiday, expressing your feelings is important. What I’m about to say here could potentially make me persona non grata, but some things are not best left unsaid.

And right now, I want to keep it real with everybody. I may have to enter a witness protection programme afterwards, but I’m going to say it anyway. The truth shall set you free, right?

So, here goes nothing...

BLACK PEOPLE1. Stop calling black people ‘white’ when they do things you don’t deem to be ‘black’. Seriously, loving wine and knowing there’s more than just one type of cheese has nothing to do with the colour of your skin. To say someone is trying to be ‘white’ is an admission of your own prejudice and self-esteem issues. Stop it.

2. Can we please resist the urge to eat at inappropriate times and places, my people? Eating pies in a taxi or chicken at the movies is not a good look. Especially if you don’t have a toothpick on hand and you’re going to suck your teeth for the duration of the movie/taxi ride and stick your nails between your teeth in an effort to remove said chicken. Wait until you get home, please, tu bakithi.

3. Just like cars need brakes, some of my people need to be muzzled. There’s no need for you to tell someone they’re fat, that they’ve been single for too long or that their children are ugly. You can think it, but there’s no need for you to voice it. Keep that shit to yourself. It makes you look tactless and uncultured. Just gossip like the rest of us.

4. Poverty is not our destiny. We shouldn’t accept living in bad conditions simply because that’s how it’s always been. Accepting the status quo is the fastest way to a life of mediocrity. We deserve more than the bare minimum; we deserve to have braais at night and raise our children in a safe world. Accepting a life of suffering and pain is to deny the gifts that the Universe has been kind enough to bestow upon us.

5. And finally, don’t gloat about having white friends or partners. Some of you think there’s prestige in dating outside the colour line. It’s not an achievement. People are people – there’s nothing exceptional about befriending or sleeping with someone of another race. They shit the same, eat the same and will most likely let you down the same way. Let’s stop being our race and just be people. It is possible.

INDIAN PEOPLE

(hahaha, y’all thought you were getting off scot-free, huh? WRONG!)

1. Some of you, like the Chinese, choose to be black only when it suits you. I don’t need to remind you that the Nats sent Uncle Kathy (Ahmed Kathrada) to Robben Island along with Walter Sisulu and Madiba. Had it not been for people like Jay Naidoo and others like him, who saw that they were just as oppressed as black people, freedom for all South Africans would have taken longer to achieve. We’re all in the struggle together.

2. Most South Africans love curry, but some of it is helluva over-priced. I mean, it’s lamb, rice and a couple of spices – why does it have to cost an arm and a leg? Especially if I’m in Fordsburg and eating at a table with a plastic tablecloth and cutlery from 1992. It’s as if you know we have no choice, so you hike up the prices. I’m just saying, if I’m going to pay R120 for a curry, then please can I at least have a proper napkin?

3. Not to sound funny, but some of our Indian brothers from Durban need to provide subtitles for us when they speak. I consider myself quite good with accents, but the Indianese from KZN often leaves me confused and defeated. Maybe an e-book or something could help us decipher the language, no?

4. Half the car boots of the M3s owned by Indian men are occupied by a booming, oversized sound system. Do you not do groceries? I don’t understand this. What are you listening to that you need such huge speakers? And what about your eardrums? I’m starting to worry that some of you might be partially deaf because of the volume levels you’re exposed to. It can’t be good for you.

5. I don’t blame you for not really dating outside your race. Indian men are spoilt for choice. I mean, let’s keep it real: Indian women are gorgeous. You get the brown skin and curves without the fake hair and lashes. By the time the midriff starts to expand underneath the sari, at least four babies have been born. And let me just say, big ‘up’ to y’all for bothering to learn Zulu – that shit is awesome.

COLOURED PEOPLE

1. To my coloured people from Cape Town, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve got to get down from your high horse: you are not better than black people. No, you’re not. Whoever told you that you’re superior, lied – just look around you: coloured people also live in townships, just like black people. That is a fact.

In Joburg and Durban, coloured people, like my friend Annaleigh, who grew up in Stanger (KwaDukuza) in KwaZulu-Natal, are well aware of the fact that we’re all just people. Nobody is “lesser than” or “better than” anyone else.

2. Please could you help us understand the rationale behind the origins of the passion gap? I’m aware that you are moving forward as a people and a lot of the more progressive among the coloured population don’t practise this bizarre “tradition”, but just out of interest: where and when did this practice start and who convinced who that removing one’s front teeth is a good idea? (And don’t say it’s for fellatio.)

3. Not every mixed-race person considers themselves to be coloured. I’ll make an example of Trevor Noah and Brighton Ngoma – they are mixed-raced, but Pam Andrews is coloured. Geddit?

As an outsider, I’ve come to realise that being mixed-race and being coloured are two different things. Being coloured is a uniquely South African experience. It’s not wise to assume the two are the same.

4. I speak for most of my countrymen when I say that all a coloured person – both male and female – has to do to intimidate anyone else is to just stand there and look hostile. Breaking bottles and throwing punches are not required to scare the shit out of the rest of us.

Almost all South Africans who are not coloured find many coloured people to be alarmingly volatile. Unfairly so in most cases, but then again, this is a book about generalisations, so…

5. You should never feel ashamed about walking around with curlers in your hair. Black women are married to the doek the way you are to curlers. There are some things that just need to be left alone.

So if some people want to make fun of your curlers, let them – you still look more exotic than any other South African community ever could.

WHITE PEOPLE

1. Please help me understand how you can live in a country where 80% of the population is black and not have a single black person in your social circle? Am I wrong in assuming that this is a choice? That you’re choosing not to befriend black people? It can’t be for a lack of opportunity. Surely you must work with some black people, or interact with us outside your home? Aren’t you alarmed by the fact that the only brown people you know are the help?

2. It’s not Nonshlanshla, it’s No.nhla.nhla. The same effort you put into pronouncing French and Italian words, you should put into learning African names. I’ve met Americans who can pronounce Nobuhle with no qualms, and yet, for some reason, those of you who were born and have lived here all your lives refuse to learn the proper pronunciation of black people’s names. It’s not cool.

3. Don’t be scared by large groups of black people. We’re not always out to rob you, scare you or gossip about you. Trust me, as a black woman, when I’m in Pretoria and I bump into a group of burly white boys, I get really nervous (you know why), but you won’t see me running in the opposite direction (even though the urge is strong). Acting scared invites problems into your life; just be normal.

4. When you’re driving, try not to let your inner racist come out. Not all of us bought our licences or don’t know the rules of the road. Some of you get so hot under the collar behind the wheel that you act as if we killed your cat. The finger wagging and staring us down in your rear-view mirror while screaming maniacally only makes you look crazy. I understand it must be hard to share the road with people who are supposed to clean your floors and mow your lawns, but I promise you, everything will be alright.

5. Some of you can be incredibly racist when you’re in the company of other white people, because for some reason you think they share the same views as you. I’m only saying this to warn you, because some of your comrades not only have friends who look like me, but their kids might have friends who are black, too. To assume someone shares your racist views is ignorant, and in the age of cellphone recordings, you could find yourself in big trouble. Be careful: not all white people are intrinsically racist.

[testedtransgressor]

Category: Post Shock Rating: K+ Warnings: N/A Originally Written: 7 July 2019

Post Shock is on today and I’m literally finishing this up before I head out to it. I’m really excited, but I sort of felt like I needed to give a bit more of an explanation on Alaric and Anna, their relationship, and exactly what kind of things he said to explain away bad shit that would happen in the apocalypse. This takes place over two times - almost immediately after the last fic I wrote, and almost immediately before Anna winds up in Los Palos.

She was trying really hard not to cry in front of Alaric. She knew he hated it when she cried, and Elizabeth used to always fight with him when he got upset about her crying.

But every single thought of Elizabeth made it harder to hold back the tears.

She clutched the necklace Elizabeth had given her, closing her eyes and letting her body shake with a silent sob. but the one that followed wasn’t so silent.

“Why you cryin’, Annaleigh?”

It wasn’t a gentle tone, a soft query - it was more of an accusation. Annaleigh’s eyes snapped open and she found herself staring at Alaric across the small campfire. Hesitantly, embarrassed he had caught her, she lowered her gaze.

“Annaleigh, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She lied. Elizabeth had always told her to say that if the person asking couldn’t fix what she was sad about; as much as she wanted to believe Alaric could find the trader and bring Elizabeth back, she knew that he couldn’t.

Alaric sighed, poking one of the small branches into the fire. A flurry of sparks flew into the air as the fire was disturbed, and he slowly got to his feet. Annaleigh kept her head down, watching him out of the corner of her eyes like Elizabeth had shown her - Alaric only had two eyes, so it used to be up to her and Elizabeth to see the things he might not. Danger was everywhere.

Alaric settled on the ground beside Annaleigh, and paused, before awkwardly wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his side. She was surprised for a few moments as her brain registered that he was giving her a hug - Alaric never hugged either of them. The most physical contact he had ever allowed himself was mussing up her hair.

“It’s Elizabeth, isn’t it?” He asked. His voice was soft, gentle, and Annaleigh felt the lump rise in her throat once again at the thought of her sister.

“You got rid of her,” she stated, “Are you gonna get rid of me, too?”

It was one of her biggest fears. Elizabeth had told her to stay with Alaric, but how could she do that if he gave her away, like he did to Elizabeth? Would she still be able to find Annaleigh if that happened? Alaric’s arm tightened around her shoulder, almost protectively.

“Of course not, Annaleigh. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Then why’d you get rid of Elizabeth?”

Alaric sighed heavily, resting his head on top of hers. He was warm and she closed her eyes, letting herself imagine it was Elizabeth hugging her instead of Alaric. But when he spoke, the illusion was shattered.

“Remember how I said that some people are sad or angry?” Alaric asked her. Annaleigh nodded - Alaric had once told her that there were no bad people, just people who were sad or angry or scared. Those people made themselves feel better by hurting others. It wasn’t an excuse for their actions, and it didn’t mean that what they did was okay, but it made Annaleigh less afraid of them.

“Are you sad?” She asked Alaric. He nodded slowly.

“Annaleigh, I am very sad. Having you girls around made me... less sad. But fighting with Elizabeth all the time only made me sadder. All I ever wanted was my two little princesses, and I wanted to protect you both. But Elizabeth... she’s also sad. And sometimes, people who are sad or scared turn that into anger, and that’s why we fought so much.”

Annaleigh nodded. She understood what he was saying, even if she didn’t completely understand why he had to get rid of her. “Is that why you got rid of her?”

“No, princess. We needed food, remember? And that trader man, Noah, he’s a good man. Very much like Elizabeth. He’ll look after her, until she can look after herself. So I knew, when I said she could go with him, that she’d be alright.”

“He had a gun,”

“I have a gun,” Alaric reminded her, “Does that make me a bad person?”

Annaleigh shook her head, and Alaric smiled.

“Y’know, seeing you girls happy made me feel less sad,” he told her, hugging her again. “That’s all I ever wanted for the both of you; see you safe and happy. That’s why we’ve got so many rules.”

“You promise you’ll keep me safe?” Annaleigh asked. Alaric nodded.

“I promise you, Annaleigh, I will always be here to protect you, and I will do everything I can to make sure you’re happy. You’ll always be my little princess, you got it?”

Annaleigh hummed, still worried about Elizabeth, but she burrowed into Alaric’s side as he hugged her, both of them watching the fire.

She knew he hadn’t been lying back then. But she wished now, looking at him beside the road, that he hadn’t made such a promise.

After all, dead people weren’t very good at protecting the living.