#now i just gotta actually go in lol
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alright. i did the thing and signed back up for the bro gym i used to go to because they had a good boxing day sale. first step towards very slowly and carefully lifting weights again achieved!
#now i just gotta actually go in lol#not this week its too busy#but next week!#when the gym will be quiet during the day again!#even if i can make it there twice a week i'll be super super happy#trying not to set any actual goals for how heavy i lift but if i can get even a fraction of where i used to be i'd be so happy#squatting and dl one plate would be SO nice
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Folks, I come with important news from a dndads patreon monthly discord chat.
Anthony thinks Terry would crochet.
This has been a public service announcement, thank you.
#dndads#<- I guess I can't really call it a public announcement then not put it in the tag lol#also learned some non-definitive but still very interesting thoughts of his on a certain. situation. alas I can't really share that.#(not allowed ehe)#terry jr.#ALSO I LEARNED THE LOST QUIP ABOUT BIRDIE IT'S THAT SHE WAS IN A PHOTO AT HENRY'S PLACE WILDSHAPED AS A BIRD AHFLAEJF#gosh I wish I wasn't too shy to ask questions during these damn patreon chats! even typing...#I *almost* did. but then time was up afhafefehl#haven't been to one in a while but decided to sit in.#I really need to lower my patreon tier actually but I keep going back and forth on if I wanna wait for the season to end before doing so...#so Terry would crochet... Lark canonically sews... We just gotta come up with textile arts for the other 3 now
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Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#pepper words#sorry for waxing philosophical about jinx’s mental state I just. WANTED TO#she is so tragic to me…#and I see a lot of myself in her. albeit. like. since there’s no therapy she’s just deteriorated#but. idk. seeing a character like hers portrayed in fiction. and so accurately and like.. painfully#it’s cathartic#??? and I wanted to talk about her lol. leave me alone#ok now I gotta get ready for work lol#sOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL SOME THERAPY#but also DONT. cuz it’s cathartic to see the worst thoughts tendencies and feelings of myself come to life so unapologetically in her#like… it’s. nice to see somebody go apeshit like this. when ur own brain and desire to live a normal happy life prevents u from going#apeshit urself.. jinx is raw and unfiltered pain and misery being taken out on the world and I love that about her… but#I also want her to be happy.. and. I don’t. actually think going apeshit will make her happy… in the end ghghg-#but I will still always support her going apeshit regardless. like u go girl! this might end up fucking u up worse then u already were#but if u wanna do something fucking do it girl! don’t let shit like laws or morals hold u back..#edit: I WANT to edit the bit about supplicatting cuz it was mostly jus me trying to be wordy but.#so I realized I was projecting too hard lol. jinx is willing to snap and go against and put pressure on her fav ppl#mostly for possessive reasons ghgg- but! yeah that parts kinda innacurate for her#other bits of this might be innacurate too! this is just me thinking out loud lol I don’t claim to be a jinx expert.#merely a jinx appreciator…
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What is this for, love? Home, or glory?
#pokemon#swsh#assistant sonia#gym leader nessa#aquaheartshipping#mermay#on a technicality dskjfhjk but hey. it is the base concept#maybe later on in the month there will be an actual monster. but for now. themb#happy baku draws dr. jones and callie again!! I still think about them. about dr. jones' six phds#instead of going home to ur wife!! ma'am#this was fully like. me fucking around with colors probably. I was just coasting my digital energy while its still there#and then. here it is#the full res file of this is very big#my last two digital things are all drawn on a giant canvas lol#(the other digital thing. u gotta wait to see. itll be awesome)#this tho. this is here on time. fish!!#I may need to lay down#well what else is new!! I gotta wake up early tomorrow to marinade the stuff. so. you know how it is#have a good night!! home or glory its all good!
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Well… I completely missed the deadline for Lex’s summer event 😭
(even after switching prompts in order to do a simpler picture than the one I had originally planned 😭😭😭)
I have been a bit overwhelmed by work and family the past couple weeks, and most of my drawing time has been going to things for the big bang (sidenote- omg I will be so excited to share the stuff im doing for the bang!!!) But I’ve got a long weekend, and I’m hoping to buckle down and maybe finish this thing in the next couple days! 🤞
#steddie#my art#wip#work in progress#lexssummerfanworkschallenge#it’s a bit ugly right now 😅#just gotta figure out where I’m going with the colors#I think that part takes longer than the actual painting process lol
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#me thinking edvin actually did something bad seeing ppls comments but he's just living his life and did nothing lol#people really always find things to complain about and then wonder that he posts and interacts less with us#congrats you're part of the problem#how dare he attend a fashion event with his gf and experiment with fashion at said fashion event#how dare he didn't post a picture where he's smiling that must mean he's super mean now#you gotta smile and always be grateful to your fans even when they act shitty and you don't actually owe them anything#no matter if he's proven time and time again that he cares so much and is the sweetest loving person#i honestly am living for his 'rebellious' giving no fucks phase and i hope he really doesn't fucking care what ppl are saying#i hope he keeps living his life that gets people mad and posts whatever he wants you go boy! don't let em stop you!#personal#edvin ryding
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How did you get your job on sunny? I really wanna go into the entertainment industry.
iv told th story b4 but i got onto th show bcuz i just happened to b n th right place @ th right time
was working on smthn completely different nd drunk on th camera truck during one of our wrap days me, the DIT, nd the loader wer talking abt fave tv shows nd when i said tht always sunny was mine th loaders just like "oh lol funny im the 1st AC on that. i can get u some days if u want" ???
so i...did some days...then i did a season...and now im core crew i guess
#FUCK this just reminded me that i ghosted him a week ago after starting the conversation OOPS ty anon#but yea the entire industry is CONNECTIONS and luck. i never know how to give advice on that. its who u know.#college is a waste of time nd money but also one of th best places to make industry connections. hellish conundrum#working as a grip or a PA is a good way to get in on stuff bt doesnt always provide a ladder upwards or into specifics if u have an end goa#its honestly...a terrible industry....i wdnt actually recommend it to people lmfao its a super unstable way to exist theres no job security#im unemployed for most of my life and just gotta pray i work enough hours to keep my health insurance#newsflash! havnt had that in years!#but yea its....idk man. im lucky for my opportunities but overall its really dire out here#and its just ben getting worse and worse#the motto in the industry going around right now is 'survive until '25' bcuz of just how few job opportunities there are#literally everyone is struggling lol.....do something else#ask#ramblings#anon
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˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐
#ok .. the appt wasnt as bad as i feared. and the therapist wasnt at all as i had imagined#he was actually one of the more easy ones within the psychiatric dept i've talked to#it was still a bit uncomfortable for me to open up esp when i got certain feelings...#but... what actually was good is that when i did that he pushed just a tiny bit and remarked on it and asked my further#(which works bc he also accepted when i just didnt know what to say or didnt wanna talk abt smth)#it took 2hrs omg.. but felt like 20 minutes.#i could notice that he actually is specialized on personality disorders lol. like he actually got what i said etc (which most havent)#so yeah. not as bad as i feared at all. he was quite good to talk with. this appt didnt feel at all as bad as i thought it would#but ofc he couldnt decide immediately if they'll take me on as a patient. bc they gotta have the required team meeting and discuss etc etc#he did say that he thinks my personality disorder is definitely causing me issues and that even if they dont take me on as a patient i#still need help. so that's just nice to hear#even if bc of cutbacks and such i know that the chances of me actually getting help are slim :(#IF i do tho i wont squander it#anyway it's just nice now bc i was SO tense and stressed and scared but it went absolutely fine#and now i'll just wait until they get back to me. and i dont have any expectations or hopes that they'll accept me as a patient.#so if they dont - as i expected. if they do - nice surprise and actually a real chance for me to get help#for today i feel ok about it phew#i cant help but be anxious abt how at the end he asked me for feedback akskskskks and i was like umm i dunno...#bc it's difficult for me to talk abt a person to that person T-T#but really i wanted to saythat i thought it was really good that he sometimes asked me if he understood smth i said correctly#and explained how he interpreted smth i said. & when i was like oh idk how to explain it idk if this makes sense. he would tell me if he#didnt understand exactly but know where i was going w it etc etc. which honestly most of the therapists i've talked to have not done that#so ughh now im like.. he's one of the few ones who does that i want him to know thats a good thing why didnt i say this T-T noooooo. regret.#oh well....
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thinking about when guts sent a bunch of his men directly into zodd's meat grinder without even knowing demons like him existed. and that moment after the fight where casca runs to griffith unconscious on the floor and tells guts it's all his fault. and the time gambino tells him he's bad luck and should have died instead. and about how he tells griffith he cares about his men, and how casca doesn't seem to see it. and the time guts is thinking about casca telling him it's all his fault (after he got griffith hurt) and then griffith comes to him and says (like it's nothing) do i need to give a reason every time i come to save you? or whatever. like he's worth it. like he's worth dying for, and like it can be a choice people make because they value you. like he's a good luck charm, like griffith needs him to reach his goals, his full potential. like griffith is not enough to make it without him. like griffith finds out when guts leaves. fuckin.g gnawing someone else's legs off because i still need mine to run into traffic
#so guess who's rewatching berserk 1997 lol#berserk#i hate griffith i hate him i hate him he's bad i hate him (<- deeply tragically attached to him. im so not normal about him it's fucked)#aghhh can't wait until break so i can read more. i've ended up just consuming the golden age arc over and over for various reasons#and it's so good it fucking rules i just need to keep reading past that too bc that's Also good#and i have! i just have more to read oh hey it's midnight my paper's due haha#(it's fine it doesn't matter genuinely i will be fine)#anyway my older sibling's been buying those bigass tomes they sell and he got a bunch more a while back so like. more to read more to read#also side note but they smell so fucking good it's actually unfair#but anyway i keep on being like nooo i gotta go start over so i can get the momentum and then i get brainstuck/distracted and don't actuall#get very far past the lost children subarc (which i've read i think 1.5 times now)#ANYWYA. berserk good. no i don't ever make content for it but every like 4 months or so it infects me quietly
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based on valentine's day art shirahama drew once hehe
#witch hat tag#orufrey#if anyone hasn't seen it the 1st and 3rd images are based on that. it was included in the artbook for volume 11#tired of drawing hands in various poses now...#why would qifrey do this though. did you not expect chaos. is this appropriate.#but it's oru who's the “KYAHHH i think theres YOUNG LOVE happening teehee we gotta stay OUTTA THIS ufufuufufu” one#i don't think qifrey has the foggiest that kids could actually have active crushes on each other he just wanted to cut out some cute hearts#for his little lovely kids activities zone. he probably thinks his budding love towards oru as a child was Special. other kids are Normal#well anyway..... i did this now because i want to finish & post an angsty comic tomorrow if possible. Lol#also i drew this thinking that oru is genuinely just trying to give back this weird heart and i was going to have a WAIT- 😳panel#that'd probably be funnier. but no. they're communicating aren't they? our delicate little dance. finding ways#Heavens above i love them
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Some healing otters for my mum
#bc she had chemo medicine injected directly into her liver monday#i never kno whats going on with her cancer stuff. like technically shes stage 4#bc it started in her uterus now its in her abdomen. liver. maybe her thyroid?#idk but its like not that aggressive of a cancer so fucking idk but ill be v sad when she dies#hopefully thats a long time from now but like shes done so much chemo thats gotta take time off ur life reguardless of the actual cancer#idk its just not fair. she's a good person and doesn't deserve this#original art#otter#lol sometimes when i draw otters blogs devoted to gay otters will reblog it and im like lmao hi 👋#ugh. i could have drawn this better but time time. who has the time?
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Got to my favorite part of Efenity's playthroughs in my current one 👌🏼😩
Astarion's ascension, the cold and unsexy sex scene (that's suspiciously genuine, intimate, and tender hmm) and the turning of Efenity. <3
The other fun part is finally getting to dress them up as Lord and Lady. Taking Astarion from vagabond-looking rogue to commanding Lord with OTT drip, and taking Efie from leather-clad streetrat to the glam baddie she has strived for her whole life but couldn't afford to be lmao
ALSO random, but this time, I brought Jaheira along instead of Gale, just to see what she'd say (if anything) and it's cute how much confidence she has in my Tav and Astarion to be "good" people 🤣 She really doesn't know them at all. She isn't there during his ascension in Efie's canon, but it was fun just to see what she would say.
#ascended astarion#lord astarion#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion and tav#tav x astarion#bg3#bg3 as#bg3 screenshots#jaheira#bg3 jaheira#efenity#yes I saw someone call the AA scene “cold” and “no joy” which is so weird to me#I mean if you feel that way about it that's fine but why talk about it as some sort of insult to people who DO like it#if you feel some kinda way about AA and his love scene that's a good thing#enjoy what you enjoy and hate what you hate#but why you gotta mock those of us who actually like it lol#ascending him is such a cathartic joy for me and the whole rp with efenity is really comforting to me#especially right now while my family and I are going through something really hard#but that's getting personal#just wish people respected others who like things they dont like#we gotta go back to kindergarten basics I guess
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I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)
But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'
Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!
#dc#dc comics#batverse#batfam#i do feel like i see too much beef and negativity abiut this kinda thing#i prefer to be a#i curate my own internet space#type of guy#but also i get it when your looking for fan content and so much of it is like 😭#an interpretation you hate#anyway this is probs obvious but mostly about the robins#like tim is probs one of my fave robins#but people go too hard on the whump for my personal taste#esp when it feels a bit of a disservice to the other characters#give me nuance i love nuance!#of course- fanfic is free and it is also free to not read it so to be clear o dont actually give a shit what people write#be free#go write that ooc chat fic life is short do whats fun#thinkin these thoughts at a party where i only know my dad and my dads friend LOL#wait i have more thoughts- ALSO#it really is funny to me#to be like. wow. i loved this fic#i thought it was SO GOOD#And to be holding that thought and perspective in my head#while also being like. ooph.#picking apart all the problems i have with it now#and like how. maybe id still like it if i just pretend they're ocs?#i can sometimes do that- but not always because i often go to fic for a specific dynamic#and i get really frustrated when i gotta be like. who the fuck is this guy its not the one with their name in the tags#i can sometimes tho
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i will be totally honest with y’all i can’t see Hobie (ATSV) in a romantic relationship ever. like, i can’t see him seeing anybody ever as “the one” or even having multiple partners or anything. I can barely see him having friends outside of the ones he already has. I can somewhat see the “are we dating or are we not dating” thing being something he gets involved in, but not really. i think a lot of people either don’t know or just forget that he’s probably homeless and that his world is shit rn and that stuff he needs isn’t easy to come by 😭😭 and a lot of homeless people just don’t have time/energy for shit like romantic relationships and the stuff he’s doing canonically because they’re so focused on trying to survive. That’s why when I make posts about him casually flirting or whatever it’s never serious, it never goes anywhere, because honestly! Between music shows, trying to find your next meal, fighting the power, trying to find a shelter for the night, helping other homeless people and others in need as both a civilian and Spider-Man, dealing with dimensional threats, trying to find a place to get clean, i just don’t think Hobie has time to even consider it. Sure, maybe there are facilities in the HQ to make it easier, but after that stunt, i think he’d avoid using them as much as possible. do you see what i mean??
#like i know he isn’t confirmed homeless in the movie. but like#like. i know. i also don’t like to think about homelessness and how terrifying it is esp for black guys#but you gotta realize he does not have all these damn hair products. he probably doesn’t smell good either#and he probably doesn’t have good breath most days or good teeth at all#and his clothes are probably dirty more often than not#and he will not be fun. people are not fun when their basic human rights are stripped away and they’re treated like garbage for a majority+#of their life#like. i genuinely think people just don’t consider a lot of shit he doesn’t do or even get the chance to bc he’s homeless#and how you’re treated like a pest and as if you aren’t human and don’t deserve human decency/necessities#now don’t get me wrong. i love to imagine hobie having a reliable space at the commune! with karl and kamala and all them. but +#that doesn’t mean he has reliable food sources and it’s basically a middle class well stocked and cared for house#of course i can’t/won’t police you because i don’t give a shit about what others do regarding him but yknow. keep it in mind at least#don’t even get me started on the knowledge of fixing pipes and other broken shit. god i could go on forever lol#this post was about Hobie not dating anybody and it turned into this 10/10 to myself actually#hobie brown#spiderpunk#spider punk#m&m posts
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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i think i tapped on the explore page by accident some minutes ago, i've been scrolling for a good sec like 'why is this on my dash. i don't know any of these people. what's going on' lmfsvh
#just me hi#i was really scrolling like 'man i do i need to start unfollowing people' before i Realized something was Wrong hkdjvhgv#idek how i did that. for a moment i was in a poor (quality) alternate dimension hkfkshvj#//anywho 'm gonna be going to bed in a bit :)#12 is about the time i should go to sleep... but also i've been doing pretty well going to sleep late n waking up at pretty reasonable hour#turns out when i'm much better at managing my own sleep times than i thought! whodda thought after all this time hbfhsh#//mnmnm also i'm getting back into actually enjoying writing lol :33#took me a sec bc oooh has it been fooooreeeever bfsh !! but yea i'm figuring out how to like it again :>>#i had what i believe to be a reasonable amount of description for a scene(in hindsight anyway lmfsh) and was like 'ohh but is this annoying#and then the thought of 'oh wait. i'm writing for me and one other guy (also me)'#so it haaaas been pleasant :33#i'm trying to practice my pacing n stuff... my punctuation has gotten a bit rusty too so that as well :)#//oh i haven't worked on my background stuff...#year's almost done and i think i've done 1 full background i think. that's a bit crazy hkfshv#gotta make up for that !! it's gonna suck prolly but i'm gonna do it >:3#mmmmmmmmmmmmm yea i'll do that after the yellow piece tomorrow :>#i've already got some of the guidelines for that down so ~!!~#//ouh the tea Got Me#going to poof now.. tooodles .w./
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