#now i feel nostalgic that school is ending haha

[sleepy-vix]

guys in english class we had to make erasure poetry and it was very cool and very nice. my teacher gave us each a (printed) page from the great gatsby and i dont exactly remember what i ended up making but it was like "dreams remain even as the earth dissolves and becomes constant in the air around us" and then i drew an image of the earth dissolving in the black/erasure parts and my teacher read it and she was like "oooh oh my god *my name*. very poetic!!"

and i still feel really happy about that even though this happened a week ago :)

sadly she took the paper though so i cant show you guys but i'm glad she liked it because my classmates were mostly messing around and half-assing the activity so i'm glad i took it seriously :)

[actuallynickels]

What has been your favorite part of Lackadaisy? (I must say I ADORE the animation with the visible sketch lines. It gives such a welcoming homemade feel to the show!)

I think my favorite part was getting that dang pencil to finally look right. Idk if most people here know this, but I built from scratch the brush used to line the characters as well as the early pipeline for how the look of the characters would be handled in cleanup.

My goal was to create a line texture for Toon Boom that looked like the Xerox Era of Disney animation. This was where the animators would take their rough pencil drawings and use basically an old school printer to copy and darken those lines so they looked like finalized cleaned lineart. This was done to cut costs so they wouldn't have to draw AND line every single frame because Disney wasn't doing so well financially back then (crazy to imagine now I know), but the end result was a really unique aesthetic!

Obviously we went a touch more clean than these. I just wanted to show some really nice and crunchy examples. Even so, funnily some people thought that was a mistake instead of a throwback to a long gone era of animation haha I don't blame them tho. People are much too used to hyper clean/crisp lines and we wanted to bring that dirt, grime, and TEXTURE back in for a nostalgic vibe. I'm still proud of how these early tests came out and the further refining the rest of the team did to get that final look is incredible.

[peachhcs]

Ooooh what abt like will going to luke for advice for literally anything, like whether that’s help w samy, going to the nhl or literally just being a teen boy haha

UGH yes yes i feel like i never write about luke and will's relationship after just talking about how close they were as kids (and still are) maybe will goes to luke before he leaves for his freshman year at bc and wants to know what it will be like playing at a collegiate level + still balancing school, life, and sports

au masterlist

as july bled into august, the faster summer was coming to an end and the closer the start of college was. laying out in the sun was traded for packing belongings into boxes and houses going out on the market since the boys' time in plymouth was nearly over. it was a such a sentimental chapter to put a close on and as much as neither of the boys wanted to admit it, they really didn't want to leave after the great two years they had.

will and samy were bouncing between each other's houses almost everyday as they helped one another pack. today, will was at the hughes' house trying to help samy sort which clothes she should take to college and which ones were staying behind. granted, she wasn't even going to be that far if she did wanna come back and get things, but will was helping nonetheless.

they decided to take a break for now and will found himself wandering into the kitchen while samy started tackling a different area of her room. luke was leaned up against the counter looking at something on his phone. he, too, was also getting some last minute things together to officially move out to new jersey with jack and start his rookie season. ellen and jim were almost officially going to be empty nesters.

"hey moose," will acknowledged the older boy.

luke looked up, smiling, "hey willie. how's the packing going?"

the childhood nicknames never got old.

"i think she's making progress. you know how samy gets with packing," the two boys shared a laugh. samy was very particular about the way she packed things and everything always needed a label.

"how's your packing going? mom's told me the whole house is almost empty," luke stuffed his phone away for now to give his full attention to will.

"yeah, pretty much. leno and i got almost all of our stuff shipped back out to boston. it's just a few small things we're driving back with us," the blonde nodded.

"shit, i can't believe those two years flew by," it felt like yesterday that will was starting dev and luke was just finishing. now will was the one starting college and luke was already done with it.

"yeah, tell me about it. feels like i lived lifetimes."

"nervous at all? excited?" there was something nostalgic and somewhat bittersweet as luke and will stood in the kitchen catching up.

not that their dynamic ever became strained, but it definitely shifted when samy and will got together. luke always used to be will's go-to. when they were kids all will wanted to do was hang around him, jack, and quinn. they were best friends and samy was never in the picture. the middle hughes didn't exactly know when things changed, but it felt like he blinked and suddenly samy was everywhere will was, or will was everywhere samy was. the luke-will duo slowly shifted into the samy-will duo. samy started becoming will's best friend and the person he went to first. now, luke loved seeing his sister so happy and it wasn't jealousy he felt, but maybe somewhat selfishness that he wanted it to be the luke-will duo again.

"maybe both? nervous to play at a higher level, but excited to be back in boston?" will shrugged.

"hey, i get it, but don't sweat it too much. you're gonna do great. i mean, you had the highest stats of any player this past season. boston wanted you for a reason," luke nudged the younger boy's arm which made him smile.

"thanks, moose. any advice or things i should know?"

"go to class or else your coach will be on your ass about it. just..be smart, you know? don't forget to have fun in between all of the seriousness. you only get to go to college once and i already miss it," it wasn't even four months ago that luke finished his time at umich, but he wished so badly that he could go back and do it all over again and soak it up more.

will nodded, appreciating luke's advice. the blonde's gaze drifted towards the stairs where samy was probably up in her room immersing herself in another packing project. luke watched his friends' eyes and he could see the amount of adoration will had for samy. as much as he hated to admit it, their relationship was cute and he'd never seen both of them so happy before.

"you know she's gonna be in good hands, right?" luke said which brought will's attention back to him. the younger boy's cheeks flushed.

"i know. i just..i hate that we didn't really get a lot of time together before college. like..our whole relationship is gonna be long distance until one of us moves closer to the other again," will frowned a bit.

"it sucks, but i don't think i've ever seen you more whipped for someone nor have i seen my sister like someone as much as she likes you. i know you guys are gonna make it work," luke's words brought another smile to the hockey player's lips.

"is it that obvious?" they laughed again.

"yes, actually it is. it was obvious since you two were like 15," that made a deep blush spread up and across will's neck and cheeks.

the sounds of footsteps could be heard on the stairs and it was like they summoned her by talking about her. samy came into the kitchen, smiling when she saw her brother and boyfriend together.

"speak of the devil," luke teased and pinched her elbow as she walked by.

"aw, were you talking about me?" samy grinned.

"yeah, we were saying how much you annoy us," luke continued.

"we weren't," will quickly cut in when samy pretended to act offended.

"i told you. whipped," luke smirked in the boy's direction.

"hey, leave him alone," samy scoffed.

"maybe i can convince jack to let you guys come and stay in jersey for a weekend," the subject shifted and the other two quickly nodded.

"i'd love to come see you guys. i'll already be making trips out to boston," samy pinched will's cheek and he flushed under her touch.

"make a pit stop in jersey while you're at it." the three grinned.

luke let the couple be for now considering he had his own packing he needed to finish. it was hard to believe that those two that would always be little siblings in his eyes weren't so little anymore. he knew samy would be taken care of because if anyone was going to date his little sister, he was glad it was will.

[wordsofelie]

Chapter 8

🔥Phoenix and Ashes

Suna Rintarou x f!reader

Summary: “It’s funny how nobody believed that we could make it work.” - “Well-maybe they were right.”

Meeting Suna Rintarou wasn’t part of your plan. Dating him, either. Getting your heart smashed into the palms of his hand, even less.

Content Warnings: Timeskip, Manga Spoilers, Alcohol Consumption, Mention of 1 OC, yn is lost & confused

Word count: 4.5k

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 9

184.

That’s the number of days that have passed since you last saw Suna or heard from him. 184 full days, mornings and evenings, without hearing his voice or touching his skin. You can't sleep a wink the night before the twins’ birthday party. You squirm in bed and watch the hours pass.

So many questions run through your mind.

What will happen when you see him? Will he talk to you; look at you? If you have the opportunity to hold him again—will you?

It’s raining outside. You hear the raindrops brushing the trees before crashing against your window. The moon is shining bright and high in the sky, at times, clouds hide it. It’s a typical autumn night, heavy and nostalgic. Just like your heart.

Around 3 a.m. you decide to text Umi.

“I’m scared to see Rintarou,” you admit.

It doesn’t take her long to reply, “I can come if you want.”

Osamu has invited your best friend to the party. Not only because he had known her for years but also because he would feel better if you had her by your side.

“D’ya mind?” He asked his brother.

“Do whatever ya want,” Atsumu said, he tried to look unbothered, but Osamu knew him all too well. Umi and Atsumu haven’t seen each other since high school and their friendship did not end up on good terms. The boy was still holding a grudge towards her. But if he admitted it, he knew his brother would make fun of him for acting like a child. So, he played it tough, pretending that seeing her again after years would be fine (but anyway, that’s another story).

“You should sleep,” you text.

“Says you haha”, followed by “but really, just tell me and I’ll come.”

You stare down at your phone, unsure of what you should do. Since Osamu told her about the party, she has been asking you if you wanted her to come, but you brushed her off each time. However, now that it is only a matter of hours before you see your ex-boyfriend again, you start to freak out.

“If you have nothing planned why not.”

“I don’t! see you tomorrow then, try to have a good night!”

The sound of the rain covers your heartbeat, the caress of the wind against your window masks the trembling of your hands.

It’s going to be okay, you repeat and repeat.

You arrive at the Miya’s apartment before anyone else. You tell Osamu you want to help them (or, rather, him) prepare.

Atsumu comes out of the bathroom when you put the beers you have bought in the fridge.

“Oya, oya dear Mademoiselle.”

You share a surprised look with Osamu—one tinged with mockery and pity. It takes you a lot of self-control not to burst into laughter.

“Ya speak French now? And don’t walk around shirtless.” Osamu sighs.

“Yer my mom or what?” Atsumy says while getting closer to you. “My abs deserve to be shown to the world.”

Your eyes immediately fall on his toned chest and belly. And you must admit that yes, Atsumu’s muscles are indeed well-shaped and nothing compared to his high school days. Despite his childish attitude, he is a man now.

“See, she agrees with me.” He wraps an arm around your shoulder and smiles teasingly.

“I never agree-”

“I’ll grab a beer.” The setter cuts you off and opens the fridge.

Osamu strides forward and takes the beer from his brother’s hand, “Calm down ya moron, it’s for tonight.”

“The night is young little bro.”

“Huh?” Osamu frowns, “Never call me that again.”

Atsumu mumbles something back and the argument escalates as always. The starting point of the fight is soon to be completely set aside.

You laugh so hard, that you almost forget the knot in your stomach. Atsumu decides to go back to his room, insults resonating in the whole apartment.

“Why do you guys live together?” You ask, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye.

“Gosh, I don’t know. He pisses me off.” He grumbles.

“But?” You put your hands on your waist and look at him, waiting for your question to be answered—honestly.

“But…” He hesitates then mutters with a shy voice, “Am just used to bein' with him all the time, ya know. It’s -” he clears his throat, “comfortin'.”

The vulnerability in his eyes soothes your heart, you tilt your head and smile. Osamu sees your nose wrikling. He turns around, “Shut up.”

You lift your hands in defence, “I haven't said anything yet”

“But I know exactly what yer thinkin’”

“Can you read my mind, Miya Osamu?”

“I’d rather not.” He glances at you, his back still facing you.

His left profile really is his best, you tell yourself.

You only chuckle after that and stop the conversation here. After all, he is not wrong. Why would he want to read your mind when it’s full of Suna? Paced with the memories of what you shared and tortured by the regret of what could have been. Maybe this incessant ache in your heart and in your thoughts is a reminder of how guilty you should feel for letting your relationship down, for not showing him enough support. Maybe you have been too hard to love and he is happier with someone else.

Or maybe, you truly deserved better?

Maybe he is the one who let you down? Who didn’t fight for you?

Maybe you should be happier with someone else—could you be happy again; loved again?

You open your mouth. Anyone who would see you might think you have seen a ghost. The questions make you feel dizzy so you decide to push them away. You feel the tension of your face ease a little and when Osamu calls you to help him cut avocados to prepare some guacamole, you take a deep breath and join him.

It’s time for the guests to arrive.

Since Kita has some last-minute inconvenience at his farm, Ginjima is the first to arrive. Half an hour passes and the place is almost full.

You stay with Osamu in the kitchen, even if “ya should go talk with everyone”, he tells you. “I like to be with you.” You reassure him—how can he argue with you after that? But your gaze travels to the living room, moves through the clock hanging in the entrance, and stops at the door. And it keeps going there, again and again.

There is a weird combination inside your heart—fear mixed with hope. And each time someone knocks at the door, it hits you like a firework against a dark night; it’s noisy and overwhelming, but it’s also colourful and exciting.

Osamu pours you a glass of lemonade (he bought your favourite) when Suna enters his apartment. You see the discomfort in your friend’s eyes and turn to the direction he is glaring at.

Your body freezes. Your vision follows every single one of his moves—he shakes Atsumu’s hand, smirks when Aran fist-bumps him, takes off his jacket, runs his hands through his hair. Everything is going so fast, or so slow. You don’t know. You start panicking when his footsteps get closer to where you and Osamu are. You look down at the floor, the light reflecting on it is suddenly replaced by Osamu’s shadow. He stands before you, his broad back and shoulders almost hide your ex-boyfriend.

They greet each other while you restrain the tears from falling down your eyes.

“Hey,” you believe you end up saying. He says something back before turning his attention to Osamu.

“Happy birthday man.”

“Thanks bro, it’s nice to see ya.”

You think Osamu is sincere. They are friends after all and you never wished for them to grow apart because of you.

You finally decide to look at Suna—or maybe it’s just instinct, a force stronger than you, which pulls you to do so. It’s the closest you have been to him in months.

His face is perfect, and the shapes of his body outstanding.

You do not meet his eyes though and your heart breaks. You feel stupid, why would he look at you? Why would he want to have a conversation with you? Why would he care about someone as insignificant as y-

“Yer lemonade,” Osamu gives you your drink and smiles, “Want somethin’ to drink?” he proposes to Suna, pointing at the fridge.

“Sure.” The other boy says.

You bite your lips and think, the evening is going to be long and lonely.

If not for the twins you would storm out of this room, run to your parents’ house and muffle your sobs in your pillow.

Atsumu is drunk.

“It’s not even midnight,” Aran says nonchalantly.

Kita lets out a faint sigh, his eyes narrowing as he steps closer to Atsumu. “Atsumu,” he begins, his voice soft but firm enough to catch the setter’s attention. “D’ya want some water?”

“Captain!” Atsumu spins around abruptly, “Am so happy yer here!”

The boy often gives a slap on the back to his friends or teammates, you figured it’s his way of being friendly. It never looks like it hurts (well, it would probably hurt you since Atsumu is a 6’ tall and full-of-muscle athlete, but nobody was ever injured, so he must know how to control his strength). However, with three beers and six shots of sake in his blood, he loses all sense of control.

The slap he gives Kita makes the former captain trip. Suna, who is standing next to Atsumu, steadies him.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Kita apologises.

Suna doesn’t understand him at first, Atsumu is the one who acted like an idiot. But then, he starts feeling something stinging on his chest. He realises Kita’s drink has been spilled on his t-shirt (white, of course).

“Sunarin!” Atsumu shouts in Rintarou’s hear, it startles him, “Shit, yer shirt is fucked.”

“It’s fine,” Suna sighs, clearly exasperated.

“’Samu!” Atsumu yells, his voice booming through the apartment.

“Atsumu, stop screaming,” Suna pleads, rubbing his temple as if trying to ward off an impending headache.

But Atsumu ignores him, “go get Sunarin one of yer shirts.”

Osamu, who had been sitting on the couch with you, raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Huh?”

Even in his drunken state, Atsumu seems to pick up on the bothered tone of his brother. “Yer such a shithead,” he mutters, though he probably meant to whisper. He pulls off his own shirt, revealing his toned torso (again), and hands it to Suna. “Wear that.”

Suna hesitates for a moment, but he eventually complies, pulling off his wet shirt.

“Fuck, Sunarin, yer girl is savage!” Atsumu suddenly blurts out, his loud voice cutting through the room like a knife.

You are following the scene from the corner of your eyes. You try as much as possible to not look at your ex-boyfriend, especially not when you see him starting to get shirtless. But when the blond twin screams and an awkward silence follows it, you can’t help but turn to the boys.

If you weren’t sat on the couch, vision perfectly directed to Suna’s back, you wouldn’t have understood what Atsumu meant. But you are sat on the couch and despite the dim light you see the scratches on his back.

“Yer a beast or what?” he continues, giggling like a teenager.

“Atsumu, stop.”

Umi interjects with frustration, but it feels distant, almost surreal to you. She gets up and steps closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him down. But Atsumu’s too far gone and he continues to tease the middle blocker. The tension in the room thickens.

Umi tries again, her voice firmer this time, “Atsumu, that’s enough.”

“Oh, so ya know my name, huh? I thought you had nothin’ to do with me.” His slams her hand away and looks down at her, eyes filled with anger.

Osamu sighs and decides to take care of the situation.

As soon as you are left alone on the couch, you slip away from the living room, quietly making your way to the kitchen. The cool air is a relief, but it does little to soothe the turmoil brewing inside you. The tension in the room was suffocating, and you needed to get away from it all—the memories, the stinging pain, the sight of Suna's marked back.

As you lean against the counter, trying to steady your breath, you hear footsteps behind you. You turn to see Osamu, his brow furrowed with concern.

“Yer okay?” he asks, his voice soft, almost hesitant.

You nod quickly, not trusting yourself to speak without your voice cracking. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you manage to say, forcing a smile that you know doesn’t reach your eyes.

Osamu isn’t convinced. He takes a step closer, his gaze searching your face for any sign that you might need him to stay. But you shake your head, more forcefully this time. “Really, Osamu. I’m okay. I just need a moment.” Leave me alone, you beg him in silence.

He hesitates for a moment longer, his eyes lingering on you. Finally, he nods and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze before turning to leave.

The moment he’s gone, you feel the weight of everything you’ve been holding back crash down on you. You glance around the kitchen, your eyes landing on a bottle of something strong on the counter. If Atsumu can act so freely with alcohol in his system, then why shouldn’t you? Maybe it will numb the ache in your chest, even if just for a little while.

You grab the bottle and pour yourself a generous amount, the liquid burning as it slides down your throat. You don’t care. All you want is to forget, to drown out the thoughts that have been plaguing you since Suna walked out of your life.

With the drink in hand, you head back to the living room. The scene has shifted slightly. Atsumu and Umi are nowhere to be found, and everything seems to be back to normal. You watch Gin and Kosaku play some cards game with a detached interest, but your eyes keep straying to where Suna is sitting. The pain deepens.

Osamu catches your eye from across the room. He must see something in your face because after a moment, he looks away, as if giving up on trying to figure out what you’re feeling. The drink in your hand is half-gone, and the room starts to blur slightly around the edges. You down the rest in one go.

An hour passes, and you’re in a drunken haze. The sounds around you—laughter, music, chatter—melt into an indistinguishable sound. As you stumble towards the bathroom, you nearly collide with the door, your mind spinning. But before you can push it open, you see Suna standing there, his tall frame blocking your path.

“Hey,” he says, his voice low and familiar, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Hi,” you answer.

He is about to get out of the way to let you through, but a voice urges you to make him stay. You need to say something; anything. And suddenly, the words tumble out before you can stop them, raw and unfiltered. “I still love you.”

His eyes widen slightly, and for a moment, you think you see a flicker of something—regret, maybe—in his gaze. “I’m sorry,” he says after what feels like an eternity, but his voice is distant, like he’s trying to put space between you even if he stands right in front of you.

You take a step closer, “I never stopped thinking about you, you know. I'm so fucking in love with you, Rin...”

He hesitates, his eyes searching your face as if he’s trying to decide whether you’re being serious or if it’s just the alcohol talking. “Are you drunk?” he asks.

Before you can respond, he reaches out and gently takes the drink from your hand. “I’m gonna go find Umi,” he says, as if that will fix everything, as if walking away again is the solution.

But the panic starts to rise in you, sharp and unyielding. You can’t breathe; the walls feel like they’re closing on you. You need to get out—now. Without thinking, you turn and rush out of the apartment.

You’re almost outside when someone catches up to you at the stairs, grabbing your arm firmly to stop you.

Osamu.

“Hey, where're ya goin'?” he asks worried.

“I need to leave,” you choke out, barely able to get the words past the tightness in your throat. “I can’t stay here, Osamu. I just can’t.”

“Okay,” he says softly. “Let’s go to the restaurant.”

The ride is silent. When you arrive at the restaurant, Osamu parks the car and helps you out, guiding you inside. He leads you to a seat and disappears into the back, returning moments later with a glass of water.

“Drink this,” he says gently, pressing the glass into your hands.

You take a sip, the cool water soothing your parched throat. It feels good. But it does nothing to ease the void in your chest. The alcohol is starting to wear off.

Osamu sits down across from you, watching you closely. He doesn’t say anything. For a moment, you almost break down right there in front of him, but you force yourself to keep it together. You’ve already shown too much tonight.

“You’re always so kind to me…” You look down at your drink, fingers grabbing the glass tighter.

“We’re friends.” He simply says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t deserve it.” You’re ashamed to look at him.

He says your name firmly, “Don’t say that.”

But you cut him off, “I’m a mess.”

He gets up to get closer to you, you hear the chair squeak against the floor, and he grabs your shoulder to make you look at him. He’s so close, you think he can hear your heartbeats.

“Yer hurt. Ya haven’t seen him in months, it’s normal to feel like that. But yer not a mess,” he hesitates and smiles a little, “and even if ya were, I’ll be there for ya. That’s what friends do.”

You study each feature of his face; his eyebrows; his eyes; his nose and an inch further down…

Your lips end up on his.

You grab the back of his head to tank him down, his hands brush your skin all the way from your shoulder to your free fingertips where he intertwines them with his.

You’re kissing Osamu.

You’re kissing Osamu.

You push him quickly, “Oh my god I’m sorry.” You suddenly get up, panic invading you, “I didn’t mean to - oh my god… I must look so desperate right now.”

“Kissing me makes ya look desperate? Gosh Champion, that hurts.” He lets out a small laugh and his kindness makes you want to cry. You're too drunk to decipher how he really feels.

You finally explode. Tears flow like a waterfall. You friend pulls you against him, you feel the warmth of his shirt against your cheek, and you grab his back with strength, afraid that if he steps away, you’ll crumble.

You don’t remember what happened after that. What you know is that you fell asleep at some point and Osamu stayed by your side.

When you wake up, the sun has barely risen. Your back hurts, your head is pounding, your throat is dry. You take a look at your surroundings; you’re lying down on some bench in Osamu’s workplace. It’s calm, way too calm. You try to remember last night, but your headache makes it hard to think straight.

“Mornin’, should I take ya home?”

Osamu’s voice surprises you, you gulp and nod, unable to come out with a coherent answer. His jacket is covering your body like a blanket, you’re about to give it to him but he interjects quickly, “put it on. It’s cold outside.”

“Thanks,” you answer with a broken voice. You don’t even have the strength to argue with him.

Osamu tells you it’s Sunday and 7am as if he sees how disoriented you are. The neighbourhood is quiet, it reminds you of the day Suna broke up with you. The calm before the storm.

Speaking of storm, Suna is standing in front of your house, hands in his pocket, back lean against the wall.

You get out of the car with Osamu, confused.

Suna clears his throat and when he decides to speak, there’s hesitation in his voice, “Can we talk?”

Osamu is standing between him and you, but somehow, he feels invisible. The way you look at Suna like he is the centre of your solar system is threatening. He will always be your first choice; what did Osamu think? His body moves on instinct, and he takes a step back towards his car.

“I…” he starts, “’Tsumu probably made a mess, I’ll go check on the apartment.”

You agree but avoid his gaze.

A moment passes and you’re alone with Suna. It’s been so long you think you forgot how to be with him. How are you supposed to talk to him? Call him? 

“I was worried yesterday. I went looking for Umi, but you had disappeared.”

“Were you really?” You ask, there’s poison in your voice. You feel the blood in your veins rushing through your whole body.

He takes the time before responding, “Of course.”

“Rin… You're telling me you're worried about me because I disappeared one evening, when you didn’t ask me how I was even once in the past six months? That’s nonsense.”

“I get that you’re angry, but I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

He seems honest and it kills you. You clench your fists. How are you supposed to react to that?

Your mind goes through all sort of emotions, incomprehension, anger, frustration. You finally speak again, “Why?”

“Why?”, he echoes, puzzled.

“Why did you break up with me? And don’t lie to me.”

His lips open and close a few times. His hands come in and out of his pockets awkwardly. “I… I was stupid. I guess I got tired of our relationship. Hiroshima, the club, my friends, everything was new, and it was exciting. And when we were together, it felt like it was holding me back.”

He looks at you and quickly explains more, “But I was wrong and stupid. You’ve been my pillar for all those years, ever since we broke up, I feel lost and I keep doing shitty things.”

“We did not break up Rin, you dumped me, like I was nothing.” You remind him. You can almost feel your nails rip off the skin of your palms from clenching too hard.

“I’m sorry…” He looks down at the floor. He looks so pitiful but even so, he is still beautiful.

You hate yourself for wanting to pull him against you. He is vulnerable right now, almost weak which puts you in a position of power, and yet, deep down, he has you wrapped around his fingers, still he has your heart caged in his hands. How unfair, how unfair.

“What do you want?” You ask him, trying to sound suspicious.

“I was hoping we…we could start over.”

“Loving you ruined my life Rin, how am I supposed to trust you again?”

Of course, you would ask him that. Suna is far from stupid—he knows exactly what he’s done. Until yesterday, he wasn’t even sure if you still loved him. Why would you, after everything? But perhaps, there is a tiny flicker of hope. So, he tries.

“Let me show you that it can be worth it.”

“Where-where does that come from? You barely looked at me once last night, I told you I still loved you and you said nothing back.” Your voice trembles.

“I did look at you, I swear, more than I thought I would. I didn’t expect to feel like that when I saw you, but something was weird in my heart and when you told me you loved me, I panicked. I acted like a jerk, you have all the right in the world to hate me,”

You cut him off, “I could never. You know that.” Your fists relax. 

There’s hope, there’s hope, he hangs on to the thought.

“So… Please let me make it up to you.”

“Did you have sex with her?”

He squints as if the accusation bothers him, but you have to know the truth.

“Rin.”

He doesn’t ask who you are talking and simply answers with a shy “yes.”

You deserve better,

You will find someone else,

Let go of him.

Your heart sings and the words give you the courage to walk past him.

“Wait.”

He says your name and grabs your arm.

One touch. It’s all it takes for you to melt, for your heart to forget all the pain it has been enduring for months.

You hesitate but your hand finds his cheek and you brush a strand of hair. How soft, you think. He closes his eyes, and his forehead leans against yours.

“Please,” the murmur sinks into your body.

“Let’s try.” You give up. You have been waiting for him to come back to you for so long, you have dreamed about those words so many nights. You don't have any other choice but to trust him now.

A comfortable silence settles between you, it almost makes you believe you’re in a dream. You decide to take a step back, but Rin doesn’t let go of your arm.

“I forgot my phone at the boys’ apartment.”

“I’ll come with you.” He hurries to say, afraid you would runaway if he doesn’t follow you.

“‘Tsumu is still sleepin’, Umi left an hour ago.” Osamu explains with a quiet voice once you’re back in the apartment. He hands you your phone.

“O-okay.”

You look around you. The living room is a mess, more than what you remember from last night.

Last night.

Your heart skips a beat.

“Hey, Osamu?” you start carefully, he waits for you to go on, “is everything okay, I mean between us?”

“Sure.”

“Sorry about last night.” You feel extremely guilty. You might have gotten the boy you love back but you can’t bear to lose one of your best friends.

“Last night? What happened last night?” He smiles. You’re relieved; your secret will be safe with him (he is so precious, you tell yourself). You’re about to answer but he lifts his eyes from your face, and you turn to see what has caught his attention.

Suna.

“We should go.” You say.

Osamu thinks you’re talking to him but when he sees you facing your ex-boyfriend he is confused. Suna’s answer confirms his doubts. Something is going on between you two.

“Yeah.” He takes your hand, “thanks for last night Osamu. I have a game in Osaka next month, I'll text you.”

Osamu is unable to answer.

“I'll see you tomorrow at the restaurant," you conclude with a soft smile.

“Hmm, see ya.”

You're afraid to see disappointment on your friend's face so you don't turn back. Everything will be perfect from now on, just like it was before the break up. You are going to be happy and loved and cherished.

The knot in your stomach is normal, you try to convince yourself, there is nothing to worry about.

Absolutely nothing.

author notes: i won't get mad if you want to scream at me :)

Elie

taglist: @wolffmaiden, @obibiwan, @teyvatsunsets, @sugacor3, @hanadulsetaad

[villalunae]

im in such a utena mood right now i think anthy would not use nuclear war codes if she had them but would instead drop hints of incoming nuclear winter to nanami by messing with the plants in the birdcage and mentioning dead roses are often considered an omen of war (lie) so that nanami attempts to discredit her by looking up omens of war through a book miki lended her and instead finding out that all the crazy shit happening to her in the last few days (kangaroo showing up on campus was actually a political refugee, tsuwabuki prepping her cheat sheet for an upcoming test on the ramificiations of nagasaki and hiroshima, students gathering about television sets that before she can see what terrible news theyre watching someone says "turn something nice on instead!" and she only sees shopping channels marketing items like gas masks, bomb shelters, and canned foods) has actually been subtle hints and omens that they're approaching world war three and nanami ends up going to touga asking if theyre gonna make it and if japan can withstand another genocidal war crime against humanity and touga somehow reads this as her telling him her dream job is to be a stripper and tells her "silly little sister. all women are inferior to men already bc of eve's fatal sin. dont degrade yourself further than you already have" and shes like "what do you mean degrade myself further than i already have" and hes like "dont worry about it youre perfect to me. like a 9.5/10. or an 8/10. maybe a 6. definitely not any lower than a 3" and after hearing that she goes to bed upset and confused because not only is her brother not taking nuclear war seriously he also once again made her feel infantilized and small and then after hearing a loud boom in the distance she thinks nuclear war is starting and starts freaking out and thinks "my brother must have been speaking in a code! he was trying to make me feel nostalgic about my childhood to comfort me before the upcoming attack! now that nuclear war is starting i should take shelter but we dont have a bomb shelter here but ohtori has a bunch of students! it probably does!" running to ohtori and trying to think of the oldest building on campus and goes to utena and anthy's door banging on it in the middle of the night and utena gets up in her jammies like "what?" and nanamis like "QUICK we all have to GET UNDERGROUND wheres your NEAREST BOMB SHELTER" and anthy comes in behind utena like miss nanami what are you talking about? :) and utena is like yeah seriously thats so weird. i guess you can come inside . we couldnt sleep anyway because -- and then nanami sees on the floor of their room a bunch of scattered papers with a big red button in a briefcase and nanami points at anthy and is like "IT WAS YOU THAT LAUNCHED THE NUKE??????" and anthy says "oh this? this button is enrichment for my pet parrot! ive named her nanami. nanami press the button" and nanami the parrot presses the button and theres a loud boom and nanami (not the parrot) is like but what was that?!?! i heard it from my house!!!! and utena is like "oh! you must be talking about the firework display! the button is rigged up to some fireworks we got for the upcoming spring festival and we were actually up late tonight trying to get the display to work! we messed up pretty bad and most of the fireworks went off at once though haha." nanami the parrot keeps pressing the button in the bg and anthy is like "aww i guess that was the last firework left!" and nanami is like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what about the kangaroo? and the test on nagasaki and hiroshima?? and the shopping channels advertising gas masks and bomb shelters and canned food??? and utena says "oh the kangaroo was a political refugee from australia its boxing career went down the hill after it killed steve durwin in a freak accident. all schools are doing history tests on world war two this time in the semester!" and anthy says "yes and because theres no clear threat of nuclear winter anymore all the old holdovers from wwii are being sold at discounted prices :)"

as nanami leaves the house feeling much better but also stupider she gets traumatized one last time by another firework going off and utena yells out the window "sorry nanami! guess there was one more loaded in there!" the firework design is chuchus face and he has been mysteriously absent this whole time. we see him in the sex car with that cat thing from madoka driving

[lizs-fictitious-life]

Omg seeing you post reminded me of mcl! I haven't kept up with mlc in years once they made that college version did something happen to it?!?

Hi anon! Did you stop playing after High School Life?

So many years have passed, and so much has happened…

I still remember how excited I was when they teased that a college arc (or “University Life”) was coming.

And then I remember how I felt when they confirmed that three routes wouldn’t return: Armin, Lysander, and Kentin.

My heart broke — and honestly, so did the fandom.

Everything seemed to move on, except for our feelings…

The feelings of the girls who had chosen those routes.

We waited. We cried. We tried to be patient. We got desperate.

Some of us tried to play MCL:UL. I even created a new OC because I couldn’t bring myself to use my original one — the one I made for Kentin. It felt like cheating on him, somehow.

Some players were happy. Their routes continued. Some even fell in love with the new characters and found joy in the story.

But some of us… we never could. It never felt the same.

I finished University Life with an emptiness in my chest.

Then the next arc came — I think it was called “Adult Life”, “Love life”? — but only with Castiel, Nathaniel and the new love interests from college life. I chose not to play. I just couldn’t force myself anymore.

Years passed, and then they released some spin-offs for the original boys: Kentin, Lys, and Armin.

I played. I felt so nostalgic… and strangely warm.

It wasn’t enough. But it was something.

I don’t remember everything clearly now, but I think the college love interests got a proper happy ending in that newer arc — with weddings and all.

Those of us who had been left behind felt so, so sad.

We wanted that happiness, too.

Eventually, MCL: Alternate Life was announced.

A reunion. A second chance. A happy ending.

And yet… the fact that it was called “alternate life” hurt.

Like it wasn’t canon. Like it could have happened… but didn’t.

But again, it was something.

And something was better than nothing.

I only played Kentin’s.

And I truly loved it.

It made my chest ache in the best way. It brought me back to my 16-year-old self…

The memories, the feelings — they were all still there.

We had asked for closure for so many years.

And finally… they gave it to us.

I won’t lie — I felt at peace after that. Like maybe I could finally move on.

Still… it felt unfair.

We waited so long, and in the end, we only got a few chapters.

We deserved a full story. A real, developed arc. Just like the others.

(Am I asking too much? Haha…)

I thought I was fine.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about those days again.

Playing HSL, being part of a lively fandom, writing fanfics, drawing, creating theories, getting to know everyone’s OCs…

The friendships.

Those were such good times.

The way I felt about Kentin…

How could I feel so much for a 2D character who doesn’t even exist?

It’s kind of embarrassing. But it’s the truth.

Oh, and yes — there’s a new game now. MCL: New Gen.

New MC, new story, new characters.

I wanted to try it… but in the end, I didn’t.

I just created an account and left it at that.

Sorry, anon.

You only asked about what happened to the game — and I ended up pouring out my feelings.

I guess I was feeling a little broken inside and needed to vent a bit…

[irondad-creator-awards]

Author Spotlight - Ob_Liv_Ious_Writer

In the run-up to the 2024 Awards we’ve asked some previous winners if they would be interviewed by us. We’re kicking off with @ob-liv-ious-writer author of No Ulterior Motive, which won Best Homeless Fic in 2023

Summary: When Peter saw a spelling mistake on the Stark Industries website, he decided that he had to fix it, no matter what the consequences could be.

When Tony saw that the hacker that managed to evade him was a reckless, too-skinny foster kid, he decided that he was going to offer him an internship.

No ulterior motives.

Not at all.

Excerpt: Ned was still too over the moon to properly fanboy. It felt like a miracle to see Peter happy again. Ned was glad. If anyone deserved a miracle, it was Peter Parker.

Hey, Ob_Liv_Ious, Thank you for answering our questions...

How did you get into Irondad? Honestly? I first found the fandom through a crossover fic from my marauders days. I don't remember what fic it was, but it kickstarted my spider-man obsession, and from there I found Irondad.

What's your favourite Irondad scene? My favourite scene has still gotta be the rooftop one. Hits different.

When did you start writing? For writing in general, I have been doing it my entire life. For fanfic, I think I remember reading everything I could find and then writing my own so that I had more to read.

What do you like about writing most? My favourite thing about writing is the way that it draws me in and lets me lose myself in the life of a character. It's always been a form of escapism, plus it's nice to have a product at the end.

Which of your stories is your favourite and why? No Ulterior Motive, it has to be. It's a story that I wrote at a very pivotal time in my life, plus it's one of the rare stories that I can look back on and still be proud of.

What's your favourite trope to write? Anything hurt/comfort honestly.

What inspired the story? It was long enough ago that I don't really remember, but I think the idea of Peter hacking SI just randomly came to me and I immediately had to write it lol.

Can you tell us a little about the experience of writing it -- did anything stand out or was there a particular person that helped more than others? Again, this was quite a while ago now (I wrote this fic when I was in my senior year of High School and now I'm in my second year of Uni lmao), but I remember writing most of this on the hallway floors between classes. The particular person who helped more than others was absolutely my girlfriend at the time, who motivated me and beta read. Additional points go to all of my old friends who had to put up with me talking about it 24/7 haha.

How did you feel to be a winner of the Awards last year? Epic!! I think this is a really cool project, even though I'm not very active in the community anymore since I don't have enough free time lol. It was nostalgic to look back on my fic, and it makes me really happy that something that helped me so much during my formative years is still being enjoyed by people.

Thank you again Ob_Liv_Ious_Writer for answering our questions and being part of the Irondad Creator Awards.

[usamifriends]

On Iori's Attitude

As I mentioned, Iori's attitude and words seem to be affecting Riku more in the game. And it makes sense because Iori's words are quite harsh. He says things like "You’re unreliable" or "Please act more like your age". But, like Mitsuki says, he’s not actually annoyed with Riku and Tsumugi. In fact, he can't help but want to take care of people like them.

This misunderstanding-causing attitude of his can be traced back to his upbringing. We get to see a little bit of the Izumi family dynamics in Iori's 2017 Birthday Rabbit Chat (The card with the photobook). Iori's mother is quite the airhead—she once mistook a 1,000 yen bill for a 10,000 yen one—while his father seems to be more put together. He speaks formally like Iori. (The Izumi bakery relies on Izumi mama's exceptional tastebuds + Izumi papa's damage control organization skills). In the chat, we see that Iori also speaks rather harshly to his mother:

Iori's mom: Looking at a book filled with your pictures made me cry. You're all grown up now. Iori: Mom... Iori's mom: You're no longer the Iori who would sob because his Mitsuki nii-chan has to go to school. You were so cute back then, crying, "Make the school go awaaay~~~" Iori: Mom! Iori's dad: How nostalgic. We didn't know how to calm you down. In the end, we'd bring you to the shop, and you'd quietly stare at the cakes. Tsumugi: Just imagining it makes me feel bad for him...! I didn't expect the cool Iori-san would have such a cute moment. Iori: No, that’s just my airheaded mother's delusion. Please do not believe a word she said. Iori's dad: Now, Iori, that's no way to speak to your mother. Iori: B-but Iori's dad: Iori? Iori: I'm sorry...

Iori tells his mom that she is "airheaded" and "delusional". While these words may come off as extremely disrespectful to outsiders, his mother and the rest of his family doesn’t seem to mind, as seen by the fact that neither his mother nor his father was very mad or offended by Iori's words. As seen, Iori's father scolds Iori rather calmly. Afterwards, his mother just comments on how Mitsuki lectures people like his dad. It didn’t seem like she cares either.

As Tamaki observed, Iori tends to spend his time at school alone. Iori says it’s because he’s not good at socializing. This means of his conversations take place within his home. This may explain why he hasn’t fully considered how his words can impact others, particularly those who don’t know him well. It’s only after meeting Riku that Iori starts to really think about his choice of words (instead of just choosing to disengage). Interestingly, this aspect of Iori mirrors Riku, who also expresses his thoughts and opinions without much concern.

tl;dr

Iori is used to speaking harshly way with his family. No one in his family ever gets hurt from the way he speaks because they all know he's just all bark no bite, haha!

That being said, Iori does need to learn how to phrase things more nicely or to just...

Spend more time with Riku 😆

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Wait, wait— so you write the most wicked Starcest smut I’ve ever seen AND you’re also just a super knowledgeable and insightful person when it comes to the series, fandom history and literature?? I’m obsessed! I just read through your page and you just seem like the kind of person I could listen to talk about their interests for hours, haha. I was curious, as someone whose been in the Starcest fandom for so long do you read alot of fanfics yourself? Do you have any recommendations— any favorites or current fixations? I’d love to see what tickles your brain 😊❤️

Nice to meet you! I'm always thrilled to find people who vibe with my particular brand of weirdness, and I love chatting! So feel free to ping me or email me whenever. And thank you for being so sweet! ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

Once upon a long time ago I remember keeping most of my stuff to myself, cluttering up my hard drive but never getting posted anywhere, because I was convinced there just couldn't be that many people besides me who'd want to read it. Holy mackerel was I wrong! Honestly I'm still working through the backlog, there's a lot of stuff just hiding out in random folders on old laptops of mine, lol.

Shockingly I'll actually read much more than just Sirius/Regulus, it's just that The Boys(tm) are the only pairing that holds my attention enough for me to sit down and write most of the time.

I've pulled up some of the "old school" Sirius/Regulus shenanigans I couldn't tear my eyes from as a kid. And I tried to pull ones that I haven't mentioned on here as much, so hopefully they're "new" recs. I added the links if I could find them...though it appears that LiveJournal is now requiring a login to view a lot of these nowadays...and in revisiting some of them I realized that my own LJ has finally been purged by the website lol. Fifteen years of breaking their TOS by posting incestuous underage smutfics and it was the crime of not logging in for two years that finally did me in, I'm laughing so hard!

Tenkuroi's Nostalgic Recs List:

"Untitled (O Tannenbaum)" Forsanethaec

"And in the grave I see thee beast" Forsanethaec

"A Fortnight Dead" Forsanethaec

"Idle Threat" Sabethea

"The Very Dead of Winter" Spessartine

"Liturgy" Spessartine

"Opus" Spessartine (there used to be a wonderful Spanish translation of this hanging around but I can't find it back!)

"The Sun Burst Through in Unlooked For Directions" Spessartine

"Some Ways of Having Loving" Marseverlasting

"Brilliance" DeathJunkE

And then there's this masterpiece that I saved to my computer probably 12+ years ago...but I didn't write down who wrote it! Or even the title (teenage me wasn't the most forward-thinking). And it seems to have completely disappeared from the internet. It was a LiveJournal user, that's all I remember. But I positively love this fic! So much that I basically copied it when I wrote Ticigi's fic for HP Cest Fest 2022.

And of course "A Thousand Year's Good Wine", which is my personal white whale that I will likely go to my grave never reading again, lol. Every year I feel like I get closer and closer to forgetting just what about it was so special...

If we yank my brain out of 2010 and fast forward to today, I feel like there's a lot more delicious Sirius/Regulus to be had. Once upon a time, there was literally not a single Sirius/Regulus fic I hadn't read. If it was on Ao3, FF.net, LJ, IJ, or someone's personal blog, I'd seen it. Every Google results page for "Sirius/Regulus" had been carefully combed through. But today? I'm sure I'm missing a lot that's around. I'm not even caught up fully on Ao3 at the moment, and that's saying something! There's so much more to choose from now, although there has also been a noticeable shift in tone, and something of a trade-off, I feel.

A lot (by which I mean almost all) of older Sirius/Regulus was canon-compliant, and it was rare to find anything that didn't end with Reggie dead. (A notable exception would be earthphoenix and esc_azkaban's Sirius/Regulus/Severus fics,) So for those who like me want to indulge in pretending he made it out okay--or at least partake in some canon-divergence--this is the decade to be living in, lol.

However, RegulusLives! aside, we don't see nearly as much of the pretentious, purple-soaked goodness that saturated LJ and InsaneJournal back in the day. If only the past and present could meet somewhere in the middle! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ

This might be confusing to some people but I'm also always down for some platonic Sirius|Regulus and the fastest way to obsess me is to write a fic where Sirius somehow ends up with custody of his brother. I think Riakida did a fic like that a year or two back that I fell in love with pretty quickly.

And we have so many longfics now! Sirius/Regulus never used to be the kind of pairing that got more than a one-shot (blame Reggie's death lol). So part of me is still getting used to finding my OTP in fics that I can actually follow and look forward to updates and such... "we could swim inside these crowds" by waitforthespark is one I've been following for awhile now. (Updates probably seem slow to everyone but me, the reigning champion of going literal years between chapters on my own fics.)

I'm curious, what drew you to the madness my stuff and similar works? Do you write as well, or just read? Any amazing gems you've come across in your wanderings?

[ticklish-n-stuff]

How PM members react to you telling them you like being tickled

We're skipping Mori bc just no-

Chuuya:

With that new information, it's like a switch gets triggered and enter his tickle monster form.

"Run" is the only word he gives you.

He gets a kick out of chasing you down the hallways.

Once he catches you, he'll trap you in a bear hug and his hands will dig all over your torso as he whispers sweet teases into your ear.

"Aww, is this sensitive?~ Haha! Was that a snort? Do it again!~"

If anyone even dares to make fun of your interest in tickling, even if there's no ill intent behind it, he can and WILL kill them. We love a respectful man.

Kouyo:

Finds it very adorable.

Would never say it to your face bc eww vulnerability.

Will take any opportunity to give you surprise tickles. Your backs turned? Her nails lightly run down your spine. Surprise hip squeeze bc she felt like it, etc.

You're never safe when in close proximity, not like you mind~

Akutagawa:

"Oh... what's that?" cue that bug-eyed expression of his in bsd wan.

My boy has no fucking clue what tickling is so you have to explain it to him, maybe even demonstrate it-

"I see..." he wouldn't tell you directly, but he finds it hella adorable.

"So... like this?" very shy ler at first, but once he gets the hang of it he becomes the cockiest motherfucker.

"What's wrong? Can't handle a little bit of tickling?~" that 'lil shit-

On God don't let him find out you told Atsushi too, or the two of them will compete to see who's the better tickler, not that you'd mind that though~

Higuchi:

She boutta feel more embarrassed than you from how cute that whole moment was.

Very shy when asking if she can tickle you, her shyness makes you feel a bit better about it.

Very clumsy ler too, pls help her

With her new knowledge, she probably now wonders if Akutagawa is ticklish too-

Hirotsu:

He can and will ask if he can tickle you like a shy school boy.

Surprisingly gentle and always asks if you're enjoying it, which is embarrassing-

"Am I doing this right...?"

Bonus points if you guide his hands and give him pointers on what techniques to use on which spots.

Gin:

Unlike Akutagawa, she is more cultured when it comes to tickling.

She finds it very endearing that you trusted her enough with something so intimate.

Very gentle but y'know, she sneaky, so expect surprise tickles constantly.

And her fingers are very agile which makes it even better worse

Tachihara:

The whole tickling ordeal would make him feel very nostalgic (if y'know, y'know) except now he has the upper hand.

I can imagine he was constantly at the receiving end of tickles. But now he has someone who willingly allows themselves to get tickled.

Loves the feeling of power he gets now that you gave him this info. Will constantly pin you down and go to town on your spots.

Q:

He'd probably feel ecstatic that finally someone let's him tickle them willingly.

Probably doesn't know what he's doing but is okiee you'll guide him, even if it's embarrassing going into detail on how he should tickle.

Will constantly try to sneak up behind you and taze your sides or smth, but will usually ask if he can full-blown tickle you

Kaji:

Finds it very cute.

Will take any opportunity to torment you.

If you're trying to reach something on a high shelf, his hands will shoot under your arms. Not looking? A quick hip squeeze. Casually resting on the couch? He can and will jump on you and go to town.

He's just a tickling menace, but he does keep your boundaries in mind.

Oda:

As a man with a lot of kids running around, he knows exactly how to tickle you.

He don't even bother asking, he just goes straight to the action.

And if you dare complain, he will pull the "but you like it" card

He's the type of ler that would tease you without trying.

"Your hips are so sensitive when I pinch them like this..." just a mere observation, while you die under his wiggly fingers-

Ango: @nataliewritez

That was probably the first time you've ever seen him smile so warmly.

He finds it very adorable and doesn't try to hide his excitement.

Will ask if he can tickle you like the gentleman he is and will respect your boundaries.

But that won't stop him from teasing you to oblivion.

"Aww, did I hit a good spot? Your reactions are adorable~"

[mostlymilkwood]

We're halfway through 2024! I know this has been a big Yuri year for you. What are some of your favorites you've read this year?

I will make every year a Big Yuri Year going forward!! but you're right, I've been making my way through my backlog and checking out new stuff as it hits but here are a few!

Monthly in the Garden with My Landlord We are forgiving Kitano Miyako for the crime of being a landlord because the series she's in is very sweet and gay and I like it a lot!! I'm not actually one who's into low conflict manga but there's just enough bite every now and then in Monthly, be it through Miyako's past in the idol industry or Asako's past breakups, that I think it strikes a great balance. I was also thinking the other day about how the main trope of this is kind of… There Was Only One Bed House lol. Anyway, it also nice to have the story keep going after the build up of the main couple getting together, I'm going to miss it so much once it finishes in the coming months :((( Fav panel:

Sukeban and Transfer Student Stella art that's made to mimics an 80s manga style to reinforce the time period it's set in? Sooo Good!! I love comics as an art form!! I love seeing them doing shit like this that only comics can do!!! I wish this was licensed so badly!! Anyway it's got a fun setup of two high school losers being losers in very different directions, which is always fun. I hope I get to read more of it soon! Fav panel:

False Marigold If I had a nickel for every yuri manga I'd read where the dual protagonist was a blind girl called Lily, I'd have two nickels! This has a lot of interesting elements at play, you've got the time period being the 1910s (ish??), you've got Lily's blindness, her love for Hana's brother and the fact that she doesn't know he's dead, and finally you've got Hana's failed attempt to kill Lily and her now pretending to be said dead older brother for Lily. So Like, It's A Lot!! A great mix of bitter sweet feelings from a lot of characters, I can't wait to see how it all plays out in the end. Fav panel:

How Do We Relationship? Ha ha haaaaaah. God. I'm late to the game on this series, it's already 12 volumes in and I kept seeing people who don't normally talk about manga, or yuri, or yuri manga say it's a really good and devastating read, so I was curious! THEY WERE CORRECT ON ALL FRONTS. Hat's off to the author for the total rug pull after volume 4 where you learn this is not a "story about what happens after you start dating someone" but is actually "a story about what happens after you breakup with someone"!!! God!!! But honestly, I can't say I've read anything quite like How Do We Relationship, it's rough sometimes but super compelling, it captures the college adolescent really well! I'm almost nostalgic for all the drama of my college days haha. Fav Panel That Is Driving Me Insane:

OKAY BUT LIKE, WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YURIA IS JUST DRAWN AS AN ELF???? HER HAIR NORMALLY COVERS HER EARS SO YOU DON'T SEE THEM TILL THEIR FIRST TIME NAKED TOGETHER AND IM JUST MEANT TO NOT THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE'S AN ELF?? WITH POINTY EARS AND TEETH??? IT'S NEVER MENTIONED BY ANYONE!! THIS ISN'T A FANTASY SERIES WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE THAT???

Shoutouts: I Want to Make Black-Knight Fall In Love With Me! and The Helpless Saint and the Powerless Princess, they're recently started in Yuri Hime and I've been enjoying the first couple of chapters that are out so far, looking forward to seeing where they go this year!

[shenglingyuan]

title: press play (ao3) pairing: umemiya hajime/togame jo summary: Togame trailed after Umemiya, a bit too familiarly if one would have to ask. This wasn’t Ori, this wasn’t his territory, but somehow with Umemiya next to him, being here didn’t feel strange. (Umemiya meets with Togame after the one-on-one fights and attempts to reconnect.) Where everything is the same except ume and togame were having a cute little thing before shit went down at shishitoren

Togame could count in one hand the number of times he stepped foot on the grounds of Furin High School. It was end of the class day, and students were pouring out from the huge building. Yet the flow of people seemed to be repelled to him like oil meeting water. It can’t be helped. He was, after all, wearing his orange Shishitoren jacket. Even though Bofurin and Shishitoren have declared that they were friends now, a long time of animosity was difficult to erase in a few days.

Fortunately, a familiar spiky hair came into view. Hiiragi noticed him at the same time, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Togame? What are you doing here?”

“I was…I’m meeting Umemiya.”

“Oh…I see.” Hiiragi looked at him knowingly, but he could see that the Bofurin pillar was keeping some comments to himself. “He’s on the rooftop.”

After receiving directions from Hiiragi, Togame made his way up the flight of stairs. It’s been a while since he was inside the premises of a school building. He dropped out after his first year for reasons, and around the same time, he got involved with Shishitoren and had been with them since. He can’t say he missed being in school, but the smell of books and high school boys stuck in one building for the whole day did bring back some nostalgic memories.

Finally, he reached the top floor, opening the door and being greeted by Umemiya’s cheeky smile. “Yo, Togame. Hope you’ve been recovering well.”

“I could say the same with you.” Togame stepped onto the open space and roamed his gaze around. This wasn’t what he was expecting to see on a school’s rooftop. But what did he know about schools these days, anyway?

“Haha,” Umemiya’s hand came up to his neck, still bandaged a few days after the match. “Tomiyama’s teeth are pretty sharp.”

“Sorry again about that.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault. Let’s get under the shade, shall we? We can talk there.”

Togame trailed after Umemiya, a bit too familiarly if one would have to ask. This wasn’t Ori, this wasn’t his territory, but somehow with Umemiya next to him, being here didn’t feel strange.

They ended in front of wooden table situated perfectly under a small roof. The afternoon sun was still a bit glaring to the eye. He immediately took a seat, the walk from Ori to Furin wasn’t that short after all, and his feet had been feeling sore midway his climb to this rooftop. To be honest, he was feeling a bit foolish. The day after the match between Bofurin and Shishitoren, Umemiya sent him a message asking to meet up. It was almost embarrassing how quickly he replied. And now he’s here, and he didn’t quite know what to expect.

“So…how are things in Shishitoren?” Umemiya stayed standing next to him, leaning against the table.

“Messy, as expected. But we’re working on it.”

“Let me know if there’s any way I can help, okay?”

“Maybe stop being in our business for a moment, yeah? We’re not your responsibility. Or do you actually want to take Choji’s offer of taking Shishitoren?”

“Oh please, I have enough with looking after these kids here.” Umemiya laughed, waving his hand in the air. Then, the laugh dissipated, followed by an almost solemn sigh. “But I can’t help but be concerned about you.”

Togame stayed silent then, but the meaning wasn’t lost on him.

It was during the big brawl between Shishitoren and Bofurin when Umemiya and Togame first met. Umemiya had never seen him before even just around his part of the town, and he would have mistaken him as someone mistakenly dragged into the fight for his meek appearance, if not for the orange jacket he proudly wore with the rest of Shishitoren and the monstrous stance he took when the actual fight began. Though Umemiya had faced off with Tomiyama at the time, he couldn’t be help but be drawn at the strength Togame displayed.

Umemiya found himself thinking about the guy on days when he didn’t have to worry about the people rejecting his goals for Furin, or when his mind was flying places during patrol. Rules are rules, so he never really stepped foot beyond the tunnel under the rail tracks, diminishing the chances of even crossing paths with any Shishitoren member. But by some work of fate, they met again during the festival during that summer. Getting to Togame did prove to be a bit of a challenge, even harder than recruiting Hiiragi to Furin, but eventually, Umemiya’s persistence won again (and he’d like to believe his natural charm also played a part).

However, this pursuit at a budding romance was cut short by Choji’s change. Umemiya had expected Togame would reach out to him, but Togame took the burden all on his own.

Now that everything was starting to get back to normal with Shishitoren, Umemiya had hoped the same could happen with the two of them. But first, he had to deal with the things he couldn’t do, or undo.

“I’m sorry, Togame.”

“What for?”

“From the moment I started hearing about Tomiyama, I wanted to help you in some way. But…I guess I let my uncertainties get the better of me. I feel a bit ashamed that our freshman beat me to it, really, even defending you from Tomiyama. If I was a bit braver, that would have all been me.”

“Hm…I don’t think you could have told me the things I needed to hear. Sakura got through me exactly because he’s an outsider.”

“So, you’re telling me you would listen to a stranger over me? That kinda hurts.” Umemiya dramatically placed a hand over his chest, feigning a look of betrayal.

“You know I don’t mean it that way,” Togame lightly punched Umemiya’s elbow with a wry smile.

Of course, Umemiya understood.

Sometimes, truths were better noticed and said by those that see it from the outside and not from within, and they could lay it out without holding back. But still, if he had more guts, he would have done it himself. It’s just that he was also aware of Togame’s bond with Shishitoren, and a part of him feared that if he overstepped that boundary, Togame would see him in a negative light, like an intruder trying to tell him how to arrange his own house. After all, they weren’t yet at the stage where he could be telling Togame what to do with his life.

But a certain part of Umemiya wanted to reach that.

Umemiya caught Togame’s hand before it dropped from his side, their palms warm against each other. He turned to face the other boy then, looking down at him in all earnest. It’s so rare to have Togame all by himself, without the rest of Shishitoren flanking behind him or Tomiyama hanging around, and Umemiya wasn’t about to let this moment pass without taking advantage of it.

“Can I?”

Without the tinted glasses Togame had been wearing for over a year, his green eyes were free from any obstruction, and Umemiya could clearly see behind those eyes a similar longing he himself was feeling. Taking it as a sign, Umemiya gently cupped Togame’s right cheek, his other hand trapping Togame between him and the table. Togame stared back at him with an unyielding gaze.

Then, Umemiya leaned in, planting a hesitant kiss on Togame’s upper lip. Togame’s eyes fluttered close, leaning forward into the kiss. It had been a long time since they had time alone, but Umemiya had always imagined how this second kiss would play out in his head. Togame’s lips were as dry as he remembered it, eliciting a small laugh out of him.

“What?” Togame muttered against his mouth, sounding almost like a whine, his half-hooded gaze widening open once more.

“Nothing, it’s just…I just thought your lips are very dry.” Umemiya answered honestly.

“Then why are you still not doing anything about it?”

Umemiya’s stomach suddenly flipped at the way the statement sounded with Togame’s deep voice. He wasted no more time, leaning in once more and greedily taking Togame’s mouth in his. Umemiya immediately tasted the hints of ramune Togame must have been drinking on his way here, sweet and tangy. He sucked on his tongue, taking more of that taste, letting his hand roam and weaving his fingers through Togame’s wavy locks. Togame had stopped wearing braids now. Umemiya pulled then, angling Togame’s head in a way where he could kiss him deeper. Togame groaned against his mouth, hands finding comfort on the curve of Umemiya’s hips.

Months of separation were condensed into a few minutes. Painted by the setting sun, the two drowned in each other until they were out of breath. As the sun slowly sank into the skyline and the orange turned into darker hues of purple in the sky, Umemiya reluctantly let go of Togame’s mouth, a thin line of saliva connecting the distance between the two of them.

For a moment, there was only the wind and their panting breaths, the two of them staring at each other in silence with small smiles on their faces.

“Can we try this again?” Umemiya was the first to break the silence, weaving their fingers together and pulling it close to his chest. “The two of us?”

“That question is about fifteen minutes late, isn’t it?”

It seemed like continuing where they left off wouldn’t be too hard.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi, bestie, I can’t believe this is it! The final part, and hence the final review (and potentially the longest? 😅):

The flashback scene is so incredibly perfect. I can’t really describe how much I loved this scene – probably one of my favourites of the entire fic. Just thinking of how far they’ve come since then, with their first kiss not happening until 5 years later, then finally being together in the same place at the same time almost a decade later.

You talk about being a nostalgic writer and this scene just fully encompassed the feeling of nostalgia, you know?

Their WNBA game against each other was also so good, and it just really boosted my craving of a Paige-Azzi rivalry in the W irl for at least a few years. With the way everybody’s tuning into all the W relationship drama right now, I just know that Pazzi on court rivalry mixed with all their off-court sweetness would hit like crack for everyone haha.

Even though I know we already saw it in the snippet, seeing Paige bring up the bloody UCLA decision again and using it against Azzi took me back and still got me a little mad lol, but I know it was necessary to show the growth and I did love seeing that play out. Plus, you had to add in a little bit of angst, and I’m always appreciative of that.

Side note: Cam being in charge of recruiting – ofc she would be, who else? The sweetest soul, indeed. This actually also made me think of what if Azzi gets drafted to GSV, then after Cam’s rookie contract ends with the Sparks, the Currys also lure her over to GSV. And then the year after that, Paige goes over and joins them?! Let me cook (and be delulu) here, bestie. Ofc, I still would love to see our big 3 that never quite was (Li, P, Az) but I wouldn’t be opposed to a P, Az, Cam Big 3 either.

The 2am phone call took me back to that phone call, but a much happier version this time ofc. The “come home” – yeah, there were definitely tears by this point.

And then the airport reunion 🥹 “Do you want me to drop you woman?” – was that a callback to an earlier flashback scene (I could totally be making things up here but that was the first thing that came to mind haha)? Also, I see you let P really be her 6ft self here 😂. Nah I believe her.

Then ending it the way you did, with their first WNBA championship, it doesn’t get more perfect than that. And when you talked about Azzi having been there for the state championship, then the college natty, and then finally the league championship. Man, I so hope that’s what reality has in store for them too. Like just how special it would be having been there for each other’s high school achievements to hopefully winning the natty together next season, then hopefully winning a WNBA championship together at some point. It’s the way that if you described their story to a random stranger, it really would sound like a piece of fiction, fairytale and daydreams, but like it’s not, it’s real, they’re real. Insane.

And tying it all back to that first scene. You’re like the master of that. Like I said, it was the perfect ending.

Well this is usually the part where I would put my thoughts for what’s next but I guess there is no next huh (big sad):

Nah for real, cannot thank you enough for letting me, well all of us, live out this Roman Empire.

Who would have thought one comment from 5 months ago would have led to all this?! The one good thing that came out of that horror UCLA game 🤭

Also, if somehow Paige does end up at the Sparks and Azzi at GSV, I will never not think about UCLA fic Paige and Azzi ya know, they’ll be my roman empire forever now. It would be incredibly poetic though if they do both end up at Minnesota someday. Then I’ll know you were just writing the script for them all along 😌

Oh and I see you incorporating “in between shades of blue” at the end there 👀 I’m sorry we never used the actual title when referring to the fic 😭 You ate with that though.

Favourite lines:

“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?” “Yeah okay let’s stay longer,”

She swears she feels her before she sees her.

“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”

Alternate lyrics:

I don’t have one this time. I was hoping you’d use This Love tbh and had the biggest smile when I saw the lyric. I think I recall you mentioning one time how much UCLA Azzi was This Love-coded and I’d always thought it was the perfect song for this fic so, no notes.

Instead, as I was listening to This Love, I was kinda replaying the fic in my mind, and these were the scenes that came to mind so I guess you could say they’re my favourites (with the ones in bold being the most special to me):

When Azzi first shows up at Paige’s Airbnb in LA

Paige seeing the pictures of them on Azzi’s wall

Their first kiss outside the bar

Paige circling the Fudd house a billion times while Drew’s dying in the passenger seat

The phone call after Azzi’s date with Zoe

The night at the Cayman Islands

Azzi returning P’s stuff

All of Paige’s unanswered messages

Paige seeing Azzi at the natty game and Azzi celebrating with her and the team

Draft night

The date

Dancing in the snow

Their kiss after Azzi wins the natty

Stargazing

The phone call where Azzi finally chooses Minny

The ending

You did it, bestie! I don’t know if you have a holiday planned during your summer break, but I hope you do (get those 3,562 pictures taken! 😂), you definitely deserve it after gifting us with this masterpiece!

I don’t know what’s next but trust I’ll always be tuned it to whatever you write, whenever that may be again. Got a fan in me forever 💗

See you around, Nivi!

Much love always,

-🙋‍♀️

WE DID IT BABEEEEE <3 Before I start replying to what you said, I just wanted to THANK YOU BESTIE because this fic wouldn't exist without you. You've shaped so much of the story and your chapter reviews were my biggest source of motivation.

I'm really glad that sense of nostalgia came through because I definitely felt it while writing it. And I couldn't help but think just how far they've come since that scene and just the beginning of the fic tbh

Fun fact, the WNBA scene was initially a part of Here's to Eternity but I didn't like something about how it fit with that fic so I had it saved to add into this one. And I've been so tuned into the Nai-Lyss drama, that I just had to include Pazzi-esque version of that tension.

LMAO I knew you'd be mad at Paige lol. Listen in this fic, she's the kinda person who needs to take a step backwards so she can take five forwards. But yeah, I really wanted to bring things full circle with her being supportive this time, so I hope that came through!

PAIGE AZZI CAM BIG THREE WOULD SAVE LIVES (well after everyone dies of happiness first lol) but I'm a big Cam Brink fan and she felt like the perfect cameo to add here

The way you just get my writing >>> Cause I was fully gonna add in a throwaway line about the other 2 am phone call but then I was like nah I'mma do the show not tell thing and hopefully people will see it anyway (idk if anyone else did but as long as you did I'm happy)

I really hope that even if this an AU, real life mirrors it a little bit and they're about to get a championship at every stage of their career and live it out with each other. And you're so right, they're straight out of a novel by God Himself.

As we've established now I think, I do love a good full circle moment.

Why did you saying "I guess there is no next" make me so emotional like damn

That UCLA game might have given us emotional trauma but at least we made lemonade out of the lemons and all of that right?

AHAHAH yeah I wanted to do an ode to the title at the end even if nobody really refers to this fic by it's title because I did have some reasoning behind that being the title and them finding forever in between shades of blue

This Love is honestly the overarching theme for this whole fic so it felt fitting to the end it with that as the main theme song and I'm glad you approve!

3,562 picture is insane and unlike Paige, I literally will not let anyone take that make photos of me

Please keep coming back here bestie because I'mma miss you so much if you don't. Love you babes <3

[fortheloveofarchons]

Xiao and Aether stargaze together in Liyue

C.W. - A Xiaoaether / Xiaother ship - Fluff and humour - Mild angst - Stargazing - Mentioned yakshas - Soft Aether and Xiao

.

.

.

The sky above Liyue was sprinkled with stars that resembled millions of petite diamonds dispersed about, with a deep blue coating and dim brightness provided by the moon. Glowing little fireflies flew across the grass and flowers, lighting the otherwise dark environment. However, two people sat on the edge of a cliff, their legs dangling and slowly swaying in stillness.

Aether extends his hand, hoping to touch the beautiful little stars, but instead, a firefly lands on his finger, shining in a bright yellow colour in front of him. 

“Haha…” 

While Aether lets out a soft laugh, Xiao only gives him a confused look– Raised eyebrows and narrow eyes. 

What was it about the golden outlander that made Xiao unable to say no? 

This 'stargazing' activity that Aether coaxed Xiao into partaking in...it was nothing more than just staring up into the sky in silence, and sometimes making idle comments about the specks of light that twinkle above them. He did not see the beauty in such a mundane pastime. 

Truly a confusion for the Vigilant Yaksha. 

“Traveller?” Xiao’s voice rang as he looked over to Aether, taking in the scenic view… his scenic view. 

“Yeah?” Aether turns his head towards Xiao, gazing into his soft eyes. 

“When you were travelling across Teyvat, have you seen this much stars as Liyue’s?” 

“Well,” Aether watches as the gentle breeze makes Xiao’s teal hair sway ever so lightly, a simple movement like this just simply leaving him breathtaking and stunning. “Not that much, truthfully. But still, watching the stars in Liyue feels… reminiscent, nostalgic. I guess that’s a big reason why I’ve always liked watching the stars here.” 

“Hmm.” Is only a word Xiao could say in reply. 

“I remember back in the Sumeru Akademiya, one of their schools was called, ‘Rtawahist’.” Aether explains, looking back up at the starry night. “They study astrology, because they believe that studying the stars will lead them to the truth, and that the stars write people’s destinies– from their birth to their passing.”

“Destinies, huh?”  

That sentence only makes Aether’s brow furrow a bit in confusion. 

“As a yaksha, I know very well that we do not become stars after we die.” 

That emphasis on the word ‘we’ only made Aether interpret that it was about him and the other yakshas, and his mind immediately takes him back to the stories of their destruction and demise from the millennia of karmic debt. Without another word, Aether scoots over to where Xiao sat, wrapping his arms around Xiao ever so gently, placing Xiao’s head onto his shoulder as he softly caresses his teal-black hair that smells like Qingxin flowers. Xiao flinches for a second, but lets out a deep breath and doesn’t remove himself from the traveller’s hug, embracing it.

“Y’know, everytime I think back to my memories, I always think of Teyvat.” Aether explains. “I guess what I’m trying to say… is that every encounter I had with everything and everyone is a rare occurrence. That’s why… we must cherish all of the memories we had. All of these stars, I guess they must’ve reminded you of the other yakshas after I mentioned destiny.” 

“Hmph.” Xiao disguises his smile with that word. “If they did become a star, they’d be one who loves to play pranks on me. Constantly blinking brightly and looking down on my short height.” 

“Ahahaha!” Aether lets out a hearty laugh this time. “Then, tons of pranking stars might be watching over you right now.”  

In that moment, Aether’s mind disperses into simply nothing as he stares over at the Vigilant Yaksha. Seeing the light reflected in Xiao’s eyes, Aether can’t help but to reach out and touch his hand. 

Xiao turns to him, gaze steadfast. 

Xiao’s hand tenses up just the tiniest beat, which allows Aether’s fingers to remain perched on it. 

“Traveller, your words and actions bewilder me to no end.” Xiao carefully studies Aether’s expression. “Tell me, do you think I will turn into a star one day?”  

Aether’s eyes soften, his smile as bright as the stars above. 

“Perhaps, and even if not, I believe that you’re a star to me right now.” Aether replies. “A star that continues to help other countless, fragile hearts so they can continue to beat in their lives.” 

Xiao’s eyes widened, lips slightly ajar. 

Just then, an idea pops in his mind. One that is better than seeing the stars on the edge of a cliff. 

Without thinking, Xiao immediately carries Aether in his arms, bridal style. One hand holding Aether’s back, the other holding his two legs. Aether almost stumbles under his arms, but Xiao, a yaksha with prowess and strength, manages to carry Aether with ease. 

“Xiao?!” 

“Forgive me, but I must take you somewhere.” 

“Take me where–” 

Aether couldn’t even finish his sentence when Xiao teleports the two of them, disappearing in thin air, with nothing but small remnants of dark mists. 

The mists disappear too. 

[castlebyersafterdark]

listening to noah's house music playlist while i bake festive gingerbread. i always listen to EDM while baking for christmas haha i dont know why. last year it was building a full on gingerbread house with galantis on play. its an upbeat but chill repetitive vibe for baking concentration and flow lol

so anyway, not to mention how he'd thrive in the gay club scene, this makes me feel like noah (not finn) would be the one into edging lol. everyone knows people who dance to ibiza club like delayed gratification. its all about THE DROP

personally im more about the beat and the nostalgic vibes. i grew up on rock music like finn, but im big into dancing and happy stuff too. sort of like you!

but yeah it got me thinking of mike and will in the club too. will is more of a rocker but mike loves the synths and would thrive as a wiry little minx in the club, dragging will to the dancefloor. in the end will becomes obsessed with it and loves showing off there and grinding up on mike, discovers music he never thought he'd like.

lastly i love that noah loves this more retro dance music. if he was into dubstep i would have to disown, sorry lol

EDM and baking, love that!! Definitely am with you there - I need something dancey or upbeat/chill as I cook or clean, that's essential. It's not even needing the "distraction" it's just a vibe when I'm doing something that needs focus. That music gives focus. But yes! I'm with you re: the club scene. I feel like there's so much we don't know about him. He cannot only be partying with the girlies. It's totally different. That's not broadcast to the world, though. I'm so curious how he dances in a real club, living in the moment. Because to be honest, tiktok "dances" aren't really anything. That's barely dancing. I feel like he's good though. A little clumsy, but sure of himself. I'm a bad dancer, but I don't care? I find this sort of music easy to let go to and do what you want. I see that for him.

this makes me feel like noah (not finn) would be the one into edging lol. everyone knows people who dance to ibiza club like delayed gratification. its all about THE DROP

Stopppp this is hilarious 🤣

So interesting that you picture Mike as the club kid, or as close to as possible for Mike Wheeler. I think I always put him as the more reluctant one because he's more prone to abrasiveness, stubborn. Scornfully latched to the bar or wall until coaxed out to dance but actually, fair point. Would Will really ever he the one leading the charge here? I don't think so at all, not at first. So I can kind of see this for Mike now that youve put quite the image in my head. A way to let go.

I think Will would dip into the underground music scene, the rise of grunge and little local shows, getting to yell and jump shoulder to shoulder at some small venue rock concerts. Love Mike continuing his synth loving ways as techno and dance comes up. I can see it. Dancing together with your lover in public especially their era? So important. Now, I don't see either of them being hard-core into either scene- they are still our lovely little nerds at heart - but even the nerdy guys deserve a night at the club here and there, letting go, allowing a night of fun and confidence.

And oh no. Please don't disown me for occasionally enjoying dubstep 🫣 Formative fascination as a kid hahaha it was sooo popular in middle school. I like so many varieties in the genre it's very diverse!! Heehee

[hollow-vok]

This song makes me feel so nostalgic and makes me think of Solya and Marek (even tho i dont relate that song to their characters) and how the time has passed without me noticing and how even tho i didnt think about them with consistency throughout the years from 2018 and the present, they still were in the back of my mind.

The fact that i bought Uprooted online when i was really really young, something I had never done before, without knowing a lot of the book but still feeling that i should buy it, it feels like it was meant to be, even if Uprooted is not my favorite book it did change me, it is very special to me even if I didnt actually finish it but i had my reasons (solya- but i was really close to finish it). I was so obssesed with Solya since the first scene he appeared and the fact that he is still in my mind to this day its so interesting to me, why is he so special to me? I don't really know.

I just noticed that whenever i talk about Marek and Solya I end up talking more about Solya haha but i am obssesed with both characters, it just that Solya is special in a different way to me, Marek IS very important to me, i just dont know how to put it into words.

And it was very unusual and strange that i started liking those characters in 2018 because the type of character that i loved back in the day were the total opposite of them, but even despite that my interest in them has lasted so much.

I just really love talking about them, they mean a lot to me, i am very sure that my current interests are determined by my interest in them. It's like my whole life right now revolves around them but im not complaining, well my interest in them does kinda makes it difficult some days to do work, like right now that i should be doing homework that was due the day before yesterday (i didnt know :/). I mean, i do really good at school, they just sometimes slow me down because i have moments (like right now) where im too focused on them and make random rants about them, or when i look at pictures that remind me of them for a lot of time, or other times where im too much focused on Solya and Marek and cant bring myself to do something else, but somehow im still good at school i have no idea how.

They are such a personal and intimate part of my life that not many people know about it, and the few who do only know the surface level of it, only 5 people know, 3 of them know the name of Solya but probably dont remember it, only to one of them i have told both names of Solya and Marek and they definitely do not remember them, this is because i dont like talking about them in front of others, they are too important to me and i dont trust others not judging my interests, so this is the place where i feel most comfortable expressing myself and where i feel that i can talk freely about Solya and Marek :]