#now i am Wide Awake and i regret

[joodeegemstone]

it's almost 4am and i can hear my niece jumping on the bed and talking in the other room

what is she even up to right now

[ma1practice]

Oh MY gosh liking somebody is a curse this is agony make it stop

[fastandcarlos]

"I Can't Sleep Without You" : ̗̀➛ Daniel Ricciardo

summary: after watching you walk out after an argument, daniel finds himself unable to settle knowing that you're not there with him

Your eyes found themselves fixated on the ceiling once again, unable to push your argument with Daniel away from the forefront of your mind. It replayed again and again, the things you said, the feelings that surfaced, the hurt that Daniel had caused. 

Soon enough you found yourself walking out of the apartment, deciding to spend the night at a friend’s house. You thought it would be the perfect thing to do to forget about it, but you couldn’t have been further from the truth. 

Just like you, Daniel laid wide awake, struggling to believe what had happened. The bed felt empty without you, all he wanted was for you to be back there with him again. He couldn’t remember the last night he spent without you, although he knew the reason for it was all down to him. 

Arguments were rare between the two of you which was why you were both so overwhelmed. You’d shouted at Daniel louder than you ever had done before, likewise he’d said things you never thought you’d hear come from him leaving you both clashing. 

On his chest, Daniel’s phone kept lighting up. Each time he looked in anticipation that it might be a notification from you, only to be left disappointed each time he checked. 

No matter how many times he closed his eyes, Daniel soon found them open again as he thought about your argument and the things that he regretted. He knew now the things that he should have said, angry at himself for not saying those things rather than what he ended up saying to you. 

He knew the blame landed on him, but that didn’t stop Daniel feeling sorry for himself laying in the cold bed all by himself. The feeling of being without you was horrendous, hoping that you were struggling just as much as he was not being by his side. 

As another hour passed, Daniel picked up his phone again, scrolling through his list of contacts. His finger hovered over your name for a moment, silently debating with himself whether calling you was the best thing to do or not. 

Your eyes grew heavy once more when suddenly you were disturbed by the vibrations that came from underneath your pillow, reaching your hand under and pulling out your phone. 

When you saw Daniel’s name, your immediate response was to answer, that was until you remembered what had happened. You toyed with the idea for a moment, deciding to accept Daniel’s call on the last ring, gently pressing your phone to your ear, greeted by the sound of Daniel heavy breathing. 

“Dan,” you sighed, “what are you calling for at this time?” 

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late,” he replied, stunning you with how his voice wavered with upset. “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. I’ve been such an idiot love, and now I’m lying here, unable to sleep without you here.” 

As he fell silent, you could hear Daniel sniffing as he tried to fight back the tears. You couldn’t begin to imagine how hard he was being on himself, unable to remember the last time that you heard Daniel upset, let alone crying and wiping away his tears.  

“It’s probably really selfish of me to ask, but is there any way that you could come home? I can’t sleep without you, and judging by the fact you answered my call, I'm guessing that you’re the same.” 

A sigh came from you as you thought for a moment, as much as you loved your friend’s home, it wasn’t the same as being in your own home and in the comfort of your own bed. 

“I’ll be there shortly.” 

Daniel muttered a thank you before leaving you to start heading home. You grabbed a couple of your things, writing a note for your friend before heading to your car. You were careful as you drove, keeping yourself composed as you dreaded to think how things would go when you got home.  

There was a light on as soon as you pulled up outside your home, locking your car and heading to the front door. You barely opened the door before Daniel greeted you, his face red and blotchy from where he had been crying. 

“Hi,” you murmured. 

A lump ran down your throat as your eyes met Daniel’s, walking into the apartment and taking a seat on the sofa. The place was a mess from how Daniel had left it, with him sitting on the seat beside you, but keeping a bit of distance between you both.  

His hands brushed through his hair as he tried his best to stay composed beside you. “I’m glad you decided to come back,” he whispered, “thank you.” 

“It’s fine.” 

You were blunter than Daniel had hoped, although it was the least that he deserved for how he had treated you, it still hurt him. 

“Love,” he slowly whispered, “I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. I should never have said what I said, I was selfish, stubborn, inconsiderate, just an awful boyfriend. “ 

“You were an ass,” you agreed with a faint chuckle, glancing across at Daniel. “I shouldn’t have pestered you so much though, you obviously needed space and I didn’t give that to you, I probably just wound you up more.” 

Despite Daniel insisting that he was fine, you refused to believe him. You nagged and nagged, reminding him that he could open up to you. Daniel’s frustrations only grew though as he told you that he was fine, deciding to deal with things all by himself. 

“I wish things went differently tonight, Daniel,” you admitted, “this is our home, it’s where we should be spending every single night together.” 

“I agree, no matter how angry we are at each other.” 

Despite the early hours, the time apart was exactly what you needed. Both of you had some time to reflect, reminding yourselves just how much the two of you hated arguing with one another. 

Daniel’s hand slowly reached across and rested against your leg, shuffling along the seat so that the two of you were sat next to each other again. His smile turned up as your head rested down against his shoulder. 

“Can we go back to just being us? To cuddling in bed and falling asleep side by side.” 

You hummed in reply to Daniel, feeling his arms wrap around your frame as he lifted you up off of the sofa, resting you against his chest to keep you still. 

He didn’t let you go as Daniel dropped down onto the bed, resting you into his side as he pulled the duvet over you both. It felt like home again, smiling at how warm it was again with you right there with him.  

“This is much better,” Daniel murmured as he rested his head on yours, allowing his eyes to close once again. 

Your smile grew as he spoke. “Don’t ever let me complain about uncomfortable our bed is again, she had me sleeping on the sofa and I think if I’d have spent the night there, I’d have ended up with a broken back.” 

A chuckle came from Daniel, “that’s because nowhere can compare to our bed, no one makes you feel as comfortable as I do anyway.” 

“That’s true, you’re the best.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[backinmyphase]

Not your letter

Synopsis: Gojo Satoru wouldn't call himself a very anxious man. But now as he hears cries every night, he can't help but worry- about his darling wife.

Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.

Pairing: Gojo x reader, 3300 words

Series masterlist

Contains: arranged marriage, generational trauma, jujutsu clans and higher ups

I'm sooo tired, but I hope you enjoy! I'm really happy you all seem so sincerely to enjoy it. Like always your comments make my day <333

Gojo Satoru liked spending money far too much.

After the last few days, this became clear very quickly. Yes, he was rich. But the way things were going this week, probably not for long.

He probably wouldn't even read every book that was on the bedside table.

Every morning he was awake before you and explored the town the two of you visited. When you were awake he took you out of the little charming hotel and showed you what he discovered.

You wouldn't see any problem in it if he didn't always had his credit card ready, the moment you looked at something.

And the two of you didn't need that many souvenirs either. But at the same time, it was hard for you to tell him not to use his money.

And now, too. As you walked through the small village. You knew what was coming when you passed a small café.

His eyes grew wide behind his sunglasses and a smile stole itself onto his face.

"Would you fancy something sweet?"

Not really. But he smiled in a way that made you feel sorry for taking the wind out of his sails.

So naturally, you left with three bags of sweet pastries.

Your mother would wring your neck. You could hear her lessons. 'You should bake something for your husband instead of letting him buy it!

"Don't you want something?"

Satoru looked at you with a bitten cupcake in his hand and some icing on his cheek. At the same time, he held out a new cupcake to you.

Of course, you didn't just take it because of his smile.

"Thank you." carefully you took a bite, trying to not look messy while you eat.

As you looked over to Satoru, you saw how he swallowed the rest of the cupcake in one go. You couldn't help but smile as you saw him chew way too much at the same time.

"Satoru, you have no manners." It was refreshing.

He gasped. "Am I now not even allowed to eat normally in front of my wife? What has the world come to?" Dramatically he held onto his chest.

His eyes shut and head tilted a bit back, he expressed his 'hurt' so playfully you couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh Satoru, if that's how you eat normally, I'm really concerned for your stomach."

As you saw how shooked he looked at you, you regretted saying anything. But then he grinned at you and leaned a bit forward.

"Did I just see my darling wife laugh?"

"It's not like I never laugh." you muttered as you started to eat again, hiding your embarrassment behind the pink, sprinkled, icing of the cupcake.

"Well, never before in front of me."

"Nonsense." you shook your head, while making sure your face was clean.

"It's true." he took another cupcake. "You should do it more."

The warmth that shot into your face was now a regular visitor. Something had changed. His presence made you jumpy, your heart was suddenly working overtime.

And your head. Oh, your head.

The thoughts that crept into it became more and more jumbled. Every time your looks crossed paths you couldn't help but spiral in a trail of thoughts, that made you feel dizzy.

You were truly sick. But it didn't feel bad.

A scream shattered the relaxed atmosphere. Your stomach turned when you saw a woman with a baby behind Satoru.

The baby was thrashing around, his voice continuing to tear the air and his cheeks red from the water running down.

The baby clutched the woman's hand, crying desperately.

"Are you okay?"

You quickly turned your head away to hide the rising panic. "Yes, I'm just tired."

His look spoke volumes. Always being tired was probably not the best sign.

"Then let's go back." He stood up, the food tucked away carefully.

"It's alright. It's not too bad."

He shook his head. "You look like I'm forcing you to go out everytime. I don't want that."

Defeated, you also stood up slowly and trotted behind him. You really wanted to enjoy your trip away, and get to know Satoru. But the words of the higher-ups were like a pest, constantly reminding you that your duty wasn't getting to know him.

It was having a heir.

"I'm sorry." your voice was hoarse, embarrassingly quiet. "I'm always in the way."

He laughed, while slowing down, to adjust to your speed. "What do you mean?"

"I'm always breaking of our time." you shook your head. "We barely get to do something."

"Oh please." he chuckled. "We have still plenty of time. We are just three days away. And it's not a problem, I still get to know you."

He looked at you again, his sunglasses barely covering his skylike eyes. "And I know." He smiled at you. "That you are not sleeping very well. Or that you are very exhausted. Maybe both."

"Am I right?"

He was. You were sleeping terrible. Even though the reading helped with sleeping in, the nightmares didn't disappear.

The constant thoughts about your 'duties' were kept alive through them. You wished you could just forget all of these things. Satoru seemed like he could.

You just shrugged.

"Just try to sleep when we are back." Slowly, very hesitant, did his hand engulf yours. His hand was warm. So, so warm.

"I have planned something for later. And I want you to be able to enjoy it."

You were wrong. Gojo Satoru didn't like spending money too much. He just enjoyed spoiling you far too much.

~~

"So how do you like your little 'rebellion'?"

The dark surrounding you, engulfed your mother almost whole as she sat there in her chair. Her arms crossed like chains, heavy, ready to arrest you.

"It's not like that-"

"Yeah, yeah." she waved her hand, wiping your words away. "That's what they always say."

Her leg twitched, but her face remained a mask. She sat unimpressed on her throne, looking at you like you stole candy. "How did you imagine all of this?"

She crossed her legs, it's twitching being held down like a child. "What did you think will happen after all of this?"

You looked at her, your mouth thin as a line. Your tongue felt like it was chained down. Heavy, like a boulder.

"Perhaps…" She tilted her head. "Running away together?"

'Stop.' you wanted to say, no scream. 'Stop speaking.'

"Maybe a romance where he takes you in his arms? Just leaving jujutsu society together behind?"

Your body felt light and so so heavy at the same time. Dizziness overtook you mind, making your vision blurry.

"No Clans and no responsibilities. Like Paris and Helen." she laughed loudly, her voice made you shiver.

"That would never happen. You know that. You are no Helen. Helen was a beautiful, desired and foolish woman. She didn't consider her people."

She stood up, while you lost your balance, she was suddenly towering above you, looking down with this well-known expression.

"And Gojo is no Paris. As if he would start a war for you. This boy has no courage. That's just selfish to wish." she shook her head again.

"Stop mother." your throat was burning. "This is pointless. Satoru is not like that. Satoru-"

Her eyes narrowing like a predator ready to pierce her prey. "I'm just reminding you to not do something foolish. And after your recent behavior that seems rather needed."

Your hands were shaking, sweating. Your breath was heavy and your body seemed paralyzed. You felt like a kid again. Crawling to your mother crying.

'I don't want to marry someone I don't know!' you hiccuped, chocking on your own tears a bit. 'I don't want-'

You still felt the burning sting on your cheek. Still felt her unforgiving stare as she looked at you.

'You don't have to want. You have to fulfill your duty. And that's bringing connections to your clan.' she didn't scream. No she was in control of herself what made it so much worse.

"So stop whining."

You only saw darkness. Your body jolted uncontrollably, it felt like being pushed down into the darkness.

Like you were dying.

"Enjoy your time. And use it." She waved and-

Your consciousness came crawling back, while you were being shaken awake. You felt cold, unbearable so. The sweat on you rather sticky.

It was a nightmare.

"Everything is alright."

You felt heavy, eyes fighting to open. But in the end they lost. You were so tired. Every ounce of sleep was a fight with your conscience. It was almost… Unnatural.

Warm arms embraced you, pulling your limp, cold, and heavy feeling body towards their warmth.

"I'm here now."

You knew it was him. It was the only logical explanation. But it felt so surreal. Feeling his strength and reassurance so close.

His grip on you was not forceful. No, it was so soft you couldn't help but start slipping into unconsciousness again.

"I'm sorry."

You didn't know why you apologized. It just felt right.

~~

"How late is it?" you paced through the room, while Satoru layed lazily in the bed, yawning.

"Don't know. It's not that important." as he sat up his silver white, no snow white hair was sticking up in all directions. It was so messy, it was endearing. Which is obviously just a fact-

"I thought you had something planned? Why didn't you wake me up?" you gathered new things to wear, since you obviously had to take a shower.

"You were sleeping so peaceful." he shook his head like it was obvious. "That was the first time I saw you smile in your sleep."

You stop for a second, cheeks feeling like they were on fire. "You watch me sleep?" you joked, while you pretended to look for something in your suitcase.

"No! I-, that's not what I-, I don't…" he stopped and you couldn't help but chuckle at him. It felt so crazy to have him stutter. You looked at him over your shoulder, hoping to have cooled down your face.

As he saw you holding in a laughter, his panicked look fell.

"Oh, ha ha." he raised an eyebrow.

"What did you plan? Can we still do it?" You didn't want to cancel his plans. Not Again. Not because of you.

He scratched his the back of his neck while thinking a bit. "Do you know the time?"

"It's…" you search for the clock in the bath. "8:46 PM? How long was I out??"

He chuckled while murmuring something to himself. You wanted to ask but also didn't.

"Well it is a bit late. Don't know if you even want to-"

A long, loud growl from your stomach interrupted him. Silence set in while he was just looking at you. The warmth in your face returning.

And then he laughed. "Well I guess that answers my question. Can't let my sweet wife starve."

"Sure, Satoru." you muttered as you chuckled a bit too. "Because you are of course not hungry at all after being here the whole day."

He grinned crookedly, while pulling the blanket away and also standing up. "Let's just make ourselves ready and then go."

You nodded and gathered what you found for yourself. Standing up from the ground and gripping the door of the bath, you stopped as he spoke again.

"But if it's too much please say so right away. I don't want you to suffer through anything."

Hands sweating again, you smiled at him. "I will." Then you got ready.

~

Satoru was nervous as fuck.

It still felt so unreal. Having you in his arms, you holding so desperately onto him, but slowly over time relaxing.

You cried. During your sleep.

It wasn't a one time thing. You cried almost every night. It was very silent, almost not audible, but he could hear it.

And see it.

He wanted to help you, but didn't know if he overstepped a silent boundary. A boundary so carefully layed out the last days.

But today was different. You spoke. Saying something like 'Stop mother'.

And you whispered his name.

He didn't know why. Didn't know if you had a nightmare where he was a part of, but he felt like he had to help you. Like you called for him.

He didn't watch you sleep. He listened to you sleep. To your cries.

~

"Where are we going?" you looked around. This was not a street you two had explored before and it was dark enough that you couldn't recognize even if you did know it.

"It's a surprise. Guess you have to wait." he grinned as he went sternly, while still making sure you two were going next to each other.

"You are so unfair sometimes." you shook your head. "Can't believe I married you."

"Oh please." he grinned back at you, playing into your dramatics. "As if you don't love surprises."

"Oh, Satoru." you deadpanned at him. "I hate them."

For two seconds you just stopped and looked at each other. But then you started laughing at his nervous expression.

"I'm joking, sorry. But you should have seen your face!"

He chuckled lightly, while looking around. Then he grinned back at you. "Well I hope you were joking, because here it is!"

You looked around but only saw a fancy restaurant. After looking for any small places you usually had take out, it dawned on you that the restaurant was the place he wanted to go.

"Oh Satoru…" you looked at the old, but very preserved, Restaurant in front of you. The letters on top of it almost shy, not being big and very eye catching, but very elegant. It spelled Sato's Kitchen.

"If you don't like it, we can always go back-"

"It's not like I don't like it!" you interrupted him, before he could make false conclusions. "It's just… This was very expensive, was it not?"

"Why talk about money? Let's just have a nice evening." he smiled and you knew it was expensive. Defeated you sighed.

"Okay. But you have to stop spending so much money-"

"Alright, let's go!"

He just took your hand and pulled you softly behind him.

~

It was very late. So it wasn't so surprising that your reservation was already long gone. But as you stood there behind Saturo while he tried to get a table for you, you felt bad.

It was almost laughable how naiv you were.

Dragging him out at these hours just to be told that they didn't have any tables left and we should come back tomorrow.

"Is there really no way-"

"I'm sorry good sir, but we are out. We can rearrange your reservation for tomorrow."

They were very kind for that. But you still felt bad.

"That wouldn't be so bad, would it Satoru?"

He nodded, obviously a bit frustrated as he gave his information to make the reservation or furthermore rearrange it.

"Yeah, that's alright." he muttered to the waiter. After making sure everything was alright, yoi two left shortly.

It was a bit embarrassing. Showing up almost an hour and half late at such a desired restaurant. Another reason you felt bad.

"I'm so so-"

"Well we can still do it tomorrow." Satoru smiled. Smiled so softly at you that you felt like crying. It made you feel so stupid, so unstable.

"Yeah." you almost chocked at the word.

He started going again, silently trying to get you to walk ahain. Silently walking beside him, you tried to find the light words you just had said so easily. But there were none.

"Well we can still have take out." he walked closer than before. Not too close, just a bit closer. "If that's alright for you?"

You chuckle a bit, trying to relax. "Of course. That sounds lovely."

The night was beautiful. The moon was already high up and you could see countless of stars here. In Tokyo you could only rarely see the stars. It was comforting.

The silence between you wasn't awkward anymore. Maybe you two did start to get to know each other in a way. Even though Satoru was still a mystery to you most of the time.

It just was comfortable as a whole.

Going together to your favorite ramen shop. Eating in silence and slowly walking back.

It must be really late. But Satoru did bring the bag of the sweet pastries. And as you were walking back to your hotel, he did eat from them.

You couldn't help but watch him. It was cute really. How he enjoyed it so much. And a small smile made it's way onto your face.

"Did you Always like sweets this much?"

Satoru looks at you and thinks. A cupcake still in his mouth, he tries chewing faster to give you your answer.

"Well, I think I did." he coughs as his mouth was empty. "When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to eat anything sweet or unhealthy because of those obsessive higher ups. Said it would make my powers weaker, to keep me away from them."

He took another big bite after saying that and smiled at you as he chewed.

"Well," he was grinning like an idiot after he swallowed. "After I started eating sweets I didn't get weaker. In fact quite the opposite!" He laughed.

You admired him, as he took another bite. That he could just call them obsessive and wipe it away. You wished you could not care.

And as he took his last bite, you looked at the remaining cupcakes and wondered. Could you try making them for him? Would he like them?

It was too late to think anymore, after you got home you just got ready for bed and layed down while Satoru was in the bathroom.

But as you wanted to close your eyes, this uneasiness from before seemed like it was back again. You began to feel cold and wrapped yourself tighter in the blanket.

Satoru came out of the bathroom looking at you, like he was fighting with himself.

And in a moment of weakness and exhaustion you let yourself say the words you normally would only think.

"Do you want to sleep in the bed?"

He just looked at you, the darkness around you made it hard to see his expression. Also your vision started to get blurry because of your tiredness.

"If you don't mind.".

You yawned as your eyes fell close. "You helped…" you mumbled and didn't fight your exhaustion anymore.

And as you felt his warm arms around you, again you couldn't help but smile.

~

Satoru didn't want to wake you up, but he also wanted to do his daily routine round to get you and himself breakfast. Tough decision.

Before all of this he would have never gotten up earlier than he had too. But here with you it was different. So so different.

And he didn't want to let you go. But in the end he did get up and got ready to leave for his round.

As he went down the stairs, Hina's Grandma smiled at him like every morning.

"Good morning, Mr. Gojo. On your way again?"

He laughed a bit and nodded. It was part of the routine to talk to her a bit, as she was a lovely person and knew the place well.

"Well a two letters arrived today. Both adressed at Mrs. Gojo. So I thought I could give them to you for later."

She handed him the two envelopes with a smile.

He didn't mean to sneak into your business or anything like that. But he couldn't help but feel uneasy almost angry when he saw the names of the senders.

One was from the higher ups. And one from your mother.

And he felt cold as he wondered why they would only write you.

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[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

Press One for Love, Two for Regret

Chapter 2

Summary: Proper confessions should never happen over the phone. Viktor knows that. So how did he get here?

Pairing: Viktor x Reader

Word Count: 3.6K

Warning: Mature (mentions of explicit content, explicit in last chapter)

Notes: This was originally supposed to be a real quick one-shot. And yet, here I stand, offering you a three-chapter fic that is probably going to be a little under 10K total. Like a stray cat proudly bringing you a dead squirrel. I'm bozo the fool and I can't stop writing about Viktor.

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4/End)

In theory, you’re pretty sure being a hitman should be fun.

There should be something thrilling about following someone around, tracking their every move in the shadows, finding the perfect opening to shoot them right between the eyes. The hunter and the prey. Riveting stuff.

Except you're not a hitman. And you're not tracking down someone to shoot them.

You're a dumb, stupid idiot. And you're just trying to talk to your dumb, stupid best friend who is doing everything in his power to not talk to you.

And he's quite good at it too; it's like he's vanished from the space-time continuum itself. No one has seen him, no one has talked to him, no one has even heard of where he might be hiding. It's almost annoying how good Viktor is at everything he does.

You hadn't managed to sleep the rest of the night of what you now refer to as ‘The Call’. You watched the minutes pass one by one on your alarm clock, eyes wide open, mind bustling with too many questions to go to bed.

At six am sharp, you deemed you had waited long enough to stomp your way to Jayce's and Viktor's apartment. You weren't even sure of what you were going to say; you just had to talk to him. You couldn't let that conversation end the way it did.

You knocked firmly five times before Jayce cracked the door open with an audible groan, hair tussled, eyes barely open. It seemed he, too, hadn't spent a very restful night.

It took a few seconds for him to even register who was standing at the door; when he did, he visibly straightened his back in an attempt to look awake and composed.

Unfortunately for him, it did not work very well.

“H-hey,” he stammered, leaning against the doorway in false non-chalence. His voice was still heavy with sleep, and he audibly cleared his throat. “It's a little early, isn't it? The ol’ operating system usually only boots up when the sun is out,” he added jokingly, pointing a finger toward his forehead.

A valiant attempt at breaking the obvious tension, but you refused to budge. You glared at him, decidedly looking into his eyes.

“I need to talk to Viktor.”

Jayce made a strangled sound, which he tried to hide with a theatrical coughing fit.

“You… just missed him?” he managed to choke out with uncertainty. He was visibly trying to convince himself just as much as you. “He left to go prepare the lab. You know him, always doing extra research.”

He flashed you a smile, a practiced grin with perfect teeth that might have seemed genuine in other circumstances. But his bottom lip was quivering, and you could see Viktor's daily use cane leaning against the coat rack right behind him. Jayce was not exactly a master manipulator.

“Jayce, the university doesn't even open until seven thirty.”

He deflated at that, his large shoulders comically lowering. You could see he was thinking desperately for anything to say, but coming up empty-handed. Chances were he hadn't had his coffee yet, which knowing him, considerably lowered his ability to formulate coherent thoughts.

You were starting to feel bad; the poor guy was stuck being the literal last defence to his roommate, and he was genuinely giving it his best. Jayce might not have a career in acting, but he was a good friend.

That was more than you could say about yourself.

“Ok. I get it,” you sighed. “He needs space. I can respect that. Just… tell him to call me later, alright? Even just a text would be fine.”

Jayce seemed profoundly relieved you had agreed to back down, something you almost always refused to do under any circumstance. Yes, technically, you could stay put in front of that door and progressively chip away at Jayce's still barely conscious mind until Viktor decided to show himself.

But you felt guilty. Guilty for not realizing how he felt, guilty for treating him like your personal diary over the phone, guilty for not saying how you felt sooner. The conversation should be on Viktor's terms rather than your own.

“Yeah, I'll tell him,” Jayce gave you a small smile, comforting and honest. The next words came out less encouraging than he likely intended: “I'll try.”

But now, it's been a week since ‘The Call’, and Viktor has still shown no sign of wanting to talk. Your phone is frustratingly devoid of unread texts or missed calls no matter how often you check it. Your world feels like it's been spiralling out of control a little more every day, the uncertainty of everything left unsaid weighing you down like a ton of bricks. It's torture, and you can't help but feel like you kind of deserve it.

You should have known better than to call Viktor when you were drunk, and yet, you still did. Because there's nothing more natural to you than talking to him. It's become second nature, as natural as breathing or blinking.

Viktor is always so smart, and so composed, and so understanding, and so helpful- and he's probably the only person who likes hearing you go on rants for hours on end. How could you ever want to talk to anybody else after a breakup?

But when you're drunk, you lose the already feeble control you have over your verbal on-and-off switch. Everything spews out of you without a filter, as if you're vomiting all the thoughts that go through your mind one after the other. It's cathartic, for sure, but then you end up saying things that should never be said to the best friend you've secretly been in love with for years now.

Things like how your ex never took time to finger you properly, or how he had this stupid obsession with men not going down on women because he was an ungrateful asshole.

And then, those two little words.

“I would.”

There was no hesitation in his tone, no uncertainty. It was like he had the sentence on the tip of his tongue for the last two hours you had been whining to him. Like he had been waiting to say it for too long to contain it anymore.

The irony was that you had spent the last four years trying everything in your power to not let those stupid little words out too.

—

You met Viktor at your first university's faculty Christmas party.

You hated work parties.

You had only gotten the position of academic advisor a few months prior, and in that time you hadn't managed to form a single bond with any other employee in your entire department. It was always the same; you talked too much. You were too intense. You were tiresome.

You were you. And that was something a lot of people didn't like.

Needless to say, you didn't want to go to that stupid party. Everyone would split up into groups of friends and previous acquaintances, and any attempt at joining the conversation would result in discreet sighs and rolling eyes. Yet you still went, partly out of obligation, but also in the hopes something that night might be different for you.

But it hadn't been, and you were alone.

So you did what any well-adjusted adult did when they were faced with the indisputable fact they were the party outcast; you drank.

After one glass of cheap white wine, you felt more relaxed, less stiff. Just a nice amount of mellowed out.

After two glasses, you started to forget the self-preserving instinct of not approaching others. ‘Maybe you could try talking to someone, after all. It could be worth a shot.’

After three glasses, you forgot why you were so apprehensive in the first place. You were great! You rocked. You had so many things to say there was absolutely no way someone wouldn't love to hear all about it.

…but maybe you could get a fourth glass, first.

You headed back towards the drinks table, a little less steady and a whole more lot confident. So confident, you didn't realize you bumped right into someone's chest until a hand grabbed your arm to keep you upright.

“Ah, are you alright?” came a heavily accented voice above you. ‘Eastern European,’ you thought absentmindedly. ‘Ukranian, maybe Czech. I wonder if he knows they created the sugar cube…’

You took an unsteady step back, peaking up at the man blocking your way to the wine bottles.

‘Wow, he's handsome’, was your first, immediate thought.

“Wow, you're handsome,” were your first, immediate words.

The man spluttered in surprise. In all fairness, he probably hadn't been expecting for a stranger at a faculty party to be so direct. If you were still at glass number two, you might have realized it wasn't a very appropriate thing to say in this specific context.

But you were at glass number three and unabashedly staring at the man's face, the sharpness of his cheekbones, the curve of his nose.

That was the moment you realized he wasn't a stranger.

You knew him. Not his name, or who he was, but you felt absolutely certain you had seen him before. You scanned your jumbled brain for the memory of his face. So beautifully sculpted, like he was made of stone. You knew him, you had it on the tip of your tongue-

“Miss?” the man asked, seemingly unsure whether to be perplexed or worried at your silent glaring. “Would you like me to help you sit-”

“Tuna sandwich!” you yelled with a huge grin. A few other partygoers turned towards you in confusion, but you were much too overjoyed at the epiphany you were experiencing to realize.

The man blinked slowly. Then once again, like he was trying to process whether or not he had understood correctly. His head cocked slightly to the side in bewilderment.

“… I'm sorry, what did you say ?”

You poked his chest with an insistent finger, beaming: “You're tuna sandwich! The tuna sandwich guy!”

The man looked to the side warily, mouth opening and closing, visibly searching for some kind of help. When he found none, his golden eyes fell back to you, catching the glow of the ceiling lights. The spark of an aurora through the night sky.

“I'm… afraid I truly have no idea what you're talking about,” he explained gently, the warmth of his hand leaving your arm. You deflated a little at that, the notion of embarrassment creeping back in you.

But he hadn't left. He was still here.

He was listening to you.

“My office is next to the cafeteria,” you started, straightening your dress and trying to appear more professional. “I see you, every day, at eleven forty-five, before morning classes end. I always thought that was smart, because you get to skip the lunch rush and there's still a lot of choices for meals.”

The man seemed bemused by the comment, but didn't show signs of wanting to take off. That made you regain some of your drunken confidence.

“But you always take a tuna sandwich,” you continued. ”That's it. Every day. You never buy anything else. It's always the tuna sandwich at eleven forty-five.”

He let out a confused chuckle, the ghost of a teasing smile on his lips.

“I didn't realize I had an audience.”

His presence had been so hypnotic you barely even realized what you had been saying.

‘Oh God, that sounded creepy, didn't it?’

“Don't flatter yourself,” you quickly added, embarrassed, looking away to stare at a particularly interesting stain on the floor. “I look at what everyone's doing. It's my job to.”

He hummed mirthfully, his golden gaze fully amused now:

“And what job would that be? Voyeur?”

You almost choked on your own spit.

“Guidance councillor, smart guy,” you countered, feeling your cheeks heat up. How was a stranger rattling you this much? You were usually the one whose words left others confused. “I look at people, and I figure out what they want in life. I help them find careers. I’ll have you know that's an extremely important task, mister-”

You squinted at the sticky nametag on his chest, trying to decipher the very slanted handwriting. You vaguely remembered the blue stickers were reserved for teachers.

“…Professor…?” you struggled weakly, hoping he would fill in the illegible part.

He thankfully seemed to find your attempt more endearing than insulting.

“Just call me Viktor,” he answered with a sincere smile. His lips were slightly crooked, the left dimple just barely more present on his left side than his right. There was a tiny little beauty spot next to his cupid bow; the thought that it would be nice to lick it just to confirm it wasn't a speck of the chocolate cake flashed in your mind.

‘Focus, focus!’

“Tell me, Viktor,” you cleared your throat. You had to get it together. This was the longest conversation you had been able to maintain with a fellow faculty member without them looking like they wanted to run away. “Why tuna? There's so many other sandwiches to choose from. You could take the egg salad, or the turkey sub, or the spicy chicken…”

You were definitely being too insistent on the tuna thing. If he didn't think you were weird before, he would now.

And yet Viktor still didn't leave. He considered your question seriously, taking a few thoughtful seconds to answer:

“It's the only one with multigrain bread. Very low fat for a good source of omega-3 and protein. And I don't dislike it, so it makes the most sense as a daily meal,” he mused, almost like it was the first time he had ever thought about it, too.

Huh.

“That's a sad way of looking at things,” you commented before thinking.

Before you could mentally swear at your debilitating lack of restraint, Viktor countered the statement with seemingly genuine curiosity:

“How so?”

You had a chance to say something cute and short, and leave the topic at that. It would be a major win for you; your first enjoyable talk with a coworker. Maybe you would even exchange email addresses by the end of the night.

Or…

You could be yourself. Let the floodgate of constant thoughts and observations pour out for a minute. Show this random handsome man who you were, really.

Had you not been drunk and sound of mind, you would have gone for the former. But as it happened, you were quite drunk, and you chose the latter. You took a deep breath before speaking:

“Means you only value food as something that's needed, like taste and flavour isn’t important. You deny yourself basic pleasures out of fear you'll get used to them and grow complacent. You're probably the type of guy who slaves away in his office for hours, not even realizing he's hungry, because it's lost all relevance to him.”

The silence that followed felt eerie. The expression on Viktor's face was blank, mouth barely agape, brows slightly furrowed. You had fucked it up, again.

“Sorry,” you muttered, feeling incredibly foolish. “That was overstepping.”

“No, actually,“ Viktor responded almost eagerly, the sparkle in his eyes bright, “Keep going. What else can you tell?”

There was palpable interest in his tone, in the way his body leaned slightly closer to yours. He wanted to know. He wanted to listen to you.

“The tuna sandwich is twenty-five cents cheaper than all the other ones,” you continued slowly, afraid of breaking the spell that was keeping him attentive to your words. “Usually a sign of a lower class upbringing, shows that you're used to thinking with a controlled budget, even if you don't need to anymore. You likely value hard work and commitment.”

You paused once more to gauge his reaction, but he didn't say anything, clearly waiting for you to continue. So, you did.

“It's always eleven forty-five sharp. You're precise, mechanical. Probably in the department of medicine, or some form of applied science. Am I right?”

“Biomechanical engineering,” he specified with a baffled smile. “Incredible. All that from a sandwich?”

You shrugged, feeling giddy under the weight of the compliment. It was so utterly rare that anyone would actually enjoy your rambling.

“I notice things about people, and I tell them. Couldn’t quite cut it as a detective or a psychologist, so it makes me an ok guidance counsellor,” you smiled, adding an audible wince. “But the person you really gotta avoid at parties.”

He laughed at that, a pretty, earnest sound, slightly low and nasal. The kind of laugh that would make the heart of a weaker person skip a beat.

You blamed the fact that yours did in fact skip a beat entirely on the alcohol.

“I-I'm sure what you do is a lot more impressive, though,” you quickly stammered out. Why were you stuttering?

He shrugged, bony shoulders visible through his button-up shirt. A few beauty marks decorated his neck where the collar didn't reach; you wondered how many more the fabric was hiding.

“Eh, I wouldn't bet on that. Gait analysis, prosthetic limb design. Much less creative than one might think,” he commented with a certain indifferent boredom; yet there was a certain light in his eyes that spoke otherwise. Maybe he was also the type of person people didn’t listen to much. “But it does feel rewarding to do something for others who might not have my luck.”

He pointed down with his chin, and for the first time since you began talking to him, you realized he was holding a cane.

You, whose only redeeming quality was having good observational skills, hadn't noticed the man you had been talking to for the last ten minutes was holding a cane. A refined-looking one at that, with a deep burgundy tainted wood for the shaft, and a sleek handle the colour of tarnished gold. ‘Maybe if you stopped looking at his face for a goddamn second you would have noticed’ you scolded yourself.

“Ah,” you blurted out pathetically. “That's… that's really cool.” You were looking at his fingers. You were looking at his long, slim fingers holding his cane, calloused yet delicate, and you were imagining them in places they should definitely not be in.

You had absolutely no idea what you had just said to him.

Yet Viktor only seemed more amused, his smirk growing ever so slightly.

“Yes, I also like to think of it as ‘cool’, from time to time.”

A drink. What you needed was another drink. Then perhaps you would reach a level of enlightenment where you would remember how to not look like a complete fool in front of attractive professors, who probably did quantum physics as a hobby.

As if he had read your mind, Viktor shifted in the direction of the drinks table, giving you a knowing smile. Were you so easy to read, or was he simply so good at reading you?

“I’d offer to bring you a glass of wine, but I believe that may have been your original intention before reading my palm,” he joked.

‘It's nothing like fortune telling, it's just logical analysis !’ part of you wanted to retort.

‘Give me your palm and I'll show you what my real fucking intentions are,’ purred the other one.

If you didn't get out of here now, you would say something that would definitely end your career before it had even taken off.

“I think I'll probably head home for the night. I've already had a little too much to drink,” you smiled hesitantly. Understatement of the century.

You could have sworn you saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes. Then again, you had probably imagined it. If anything, he was likely relieved he had finally managed to escape the babbling lunatic. Someone like him, so brilliant and accomplished, had no reason to willingly listen to the ramblings of a glorified high school school councillor.

But…

“But… maybe you could give me your number?” you asked hesitantly, taking one final, vulnerable leap of faith. “Just for work, of course!”, you added hastily.

Viktor did not seem angry or disgusted at the proposal; in fact, his smile widened, revealing a slightly uneven row of teeth. Cute. Everything about him was attractive.

“I would like that,” Viktor said softly, amber eyes warm. “I did enjoy hearing you talk.”

Your heart made a heavy, dull thud. With a small wave, he was gone, disappearing somewhere into the crowd like he had been nothing more than a hallucination conjured up by the cheap wine.

Your first work friend.

A potential real friend. Someone who genuinely didn't seem to hate the sound of your voice.

It was much too precious to lose over some passing, drunken attraction. You absolutely had to crush these emotions now to prevent them from becoming anything serious. After all, it wasn't like you had a shadow of chance with someone like him.

Perhaps for the first time in your life, you decided to stay silent about something, no matter what would happen in the future.

He couldn't know.

You would never let him know.

[cobaltperun]

Darkest Part (4) - Died In Your Arms

Astrid Deetz x female Reader

Summary: You will never, in life or afterlife, if such a thing exists, meet anyone as infuriating, rage inducing, entitled, or frankly awful, as Astrid fucking Deetz. There isn’t a single thing you’d like more than to never be around her, but as your luck would have it, you just can’t stay away from her.

Masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next Part

Word count: 5.3k

-Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight, it must've been some kind of kiss, I should've walked away-

This was a good life, hot chocolate, paper taped to the desk as you drew your third sketch of the building you had in mind. Away from all the worries and for a moment free from any obligations.

“How’s it going?” your mom came up to you and leaned over to kiss your cheek.

“Mom, you shouldn’t-“ she didn’t wince, her back didn’t hurt, yeah, it would end soon, and you desperately wanted it to continue. Wanted things to get better, wanted her to be healthy again.

Your phone had other ideas, as the alarm rang and the sound of it startled you awake. Curse your need to constantly change your alarm ringtone, otherwise you’d get used to it and sleep right through it. This new one was ridiculously awful, like someone constantly ringing the bell, but it got the job done. “Am I ever going to wake up well-rested again?” you wondered, feeling like you barely slept a wink. You just couldn’t get used to this house.

Well, considering the tales about it, maybe that wasn’t that strange.

Or it was just the reasonable explanation.

As it was, last night your exhausted body just collapsed onto the bed and you fell asleep, and then got woken up by the chill of the night, because of course you were too tired to cover yourself. What followed was you spending way too long trying to warm up. Winter River indeed, it really was cold. Why couldn’t this be some pleasant warm place, somewhere you could still go around wearing short sleeves instead of already needing several layers of clothing.

The only thing worse than the cold was the Chihuahua that was also in the house. “Why the fuck would I let her be on my mind first thing in the morning?” you slapped your forehead, now even more annoyed. Of all the people you could have thought of at the start your day, it had to be her.

Annoyed, you threw the covers off and immediately came to regret it as the cold air made you shiver. On second thought you should probably stay in bed a bit longer, so you went back under the covers into the warm escape from the chilling cold. You swiftly unlocked your phone and figured you might as well check up on your mom and Alex. You sent each of them a message asking how they were and if everything was fine and put your phone away. It was still too early to call them and if you had to be awake it didn't mean you had to wake them up too.

~X~

Halfway through the day and a lot of packing later, you sat down at the table exhausted with the hot cup of tea in front of you. You really needed that as the warmth of the tea seemed to seep into your very soul. Actually, you also needed a blanket around your shoulders and the nice warm fire accompanied by perhaps movie. It's been a while since you've watched ‘Kill, Baby, Kill’ and you were really in the mood for it after these past few days.

Seeing your favorite movie again would probably make your life a tiny bit better.

No, instead of that you had to deal with someone rather happy getting inside the house with an obvious bounce to their steps. You raised your head, confused and for a moment even terrified that someone actually broke in and just didn't care about making noises. And then that someone walked through the door into the dining room and you would have been a lot happier if it was a burglar.

No. Instead it was the fucking Chihuahua what a wide, frighteningly bright, and happy grin on her face and the world was going to end any moment now. You were fairly sure, and not at all being too dramatic, that Astrid Deetz, also known as Chihuahua, being this obviously happy was one of the eleven signs of the apocalypse.

“Oh, of course you're here. Well, it doesn't matter, not even you can ruin my mood,” she just  walked past you, still happy, and not throwing insults at you. She didn’t do anything! Absolutely nothing! Not even glaring at you and you could not remember the last time you were this frightened.

You scrambled to your feet and rushed outside. “Delia!” you cried out hoping the woman would have some kind of help for you maybe some medicine for hallucinations or a plausible explanation or anything really as long as it helped. You desperately needed someone to convince you that just made what happened up in your head!

It was all in your head. There was no other explanation, which made it even more concerning because Astrid Deetz being in your head and part of your hallucinations was not a good sign for you. Frankly, at this point you had no idea which was worse, Astrid being happy or you thinking about the damn Chihuahua to the point of hallucinating seeing her happy.

~X~

“Damn it Delia, why couldn’t you just get this delivered to the damn house?!” you hissed, a lot like the creatures inside the box you were currently carrying. You knew you had fear of heights before, but apparently you also had a fear of snakes. Which was made a lot worse by the sounds the snakes were making and you were praying that the people Delia bought the snakes from didn't scam her and actually defanged them.

Sure, in theory you were safe. The box was sealed, and safe, but your brain still came up with frightening scenarios. As safe as the box probably was you were still frightened that they would somehow find their way out and bite you and you did not want to die due to snake bites.

‘How many times am I going to risk my life in one single week?’ you wondered, and you really shouldn't have because you had a few more times before the end of this trip.

You finally reached the house and couldn’t have been happier to see it as you rushed up the stairs and set the box on the table for Delia to do whatever she intended to do with the snakes. You really hoped she wouldn't make you go with her because at that point you might actually think staying with Rory would be more pleasant. And just to be safe you immediately turned to Delia when she walked into the room. “I'm done with the snakes, I did my part the rest is up to you,” you urgently informed her before she could get more great ideas.

Delia just laughed. “They are defanged, don't worry,” apparently they were, you weren’t about to check.

You slumped slightly, doing your best puppy eyes to get her to let you stay out of this. “I am still not comfortable around snakes, so please don’t ask me to help you with them,” well at least she didn't look like she would push you to join her as she smiled and patted you on the shoulder.

“Come on, I'm not that cruel,” she smiled at you and then shook her head in amusement at the relief showing on your face. “I thought it would be a good experience is for you to watch, but it’s fine if you don’t. Oh and Y/N, you can rest tonight, you don't even have to go to the wedding,” she was telling you one good news after the other. “We have a few more things to do tomorrow morning and then you can go back home,” Delia surprise you but maybe you should have expected it. She had her moments of kindness and you've been on the receiving end plenty of times, despite all the less pleasant, more dangerous and difficult moments you had with her.

“Thanks Delia, I really appreciate it,” you told her as Astrid joined the two of you.

“Snakes?” Astrid looked at the content of the box, surprised by what she saw and for once you couldn't blame her. Personally, you didn't quite get why Delia got them herself but she wanted them and she got them. Something about Ancient Egypt and Pharaohs from what you understood.

“Actually asps,” Delia corrected her, and you had to admit she actually sounded excited about them.

“Why? Are they a wedding gift for Rory?” Astrid asked, hopeful that the answer would be yes.

“Now that would’ve made it worth carrying them,” you knew that wasn’t their purpose but  no one could force you to stop happily imagining Rory freaking out over the snakes.

For the first time since you've known her, Astrid actually didn't have a rude remark or an insult for you, and actually just rolled her eyes with a smile which was almost freaky but not exactly an unwelcome change.

“Too late they've be defanged, guaranteed harmless! And they're for me.” Delia shattered your dreams well, yours was never even allowed to begin because you knew from the start what she wanted to do with them. Still for a moment you could hope that she would at least use them as a prank. It’s not like they were one se only! She could use them for more than one thing. After all, she already got them, why not just use them on the bastard as a very funny prank. It would not change anything about the snakes, and they could still be used for the ritual thing she had in mind.

Well, you were left with only your dreams.

You left the two of them to check if there was anything left unpacked, you were just about to head back upstairs when Lydia rushed down and you turned around, not sure how to react to the frantic woman.

“You got your wish, we're leaving! Pack up your things, I'm driving you back to school,” Lydia seemed absolutely frantic, like she just saw a ghost, which, well, she was supposed to be able to see them. You watched from the stairs as she went by you and toward the front door

“Wait! What happened” Astrid called after her.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” Lydia denied answering Astrid’s question.  That actually made sense, especially if it had something to do with ghosts, which this house apparently had at one point. So going by their relationship and the issues Astrid had with her mother you guessed it was something paranormal in question.

Delia, however, did not make that connection. “Oh you're calling off the wedding?” she went after Lydia outside and just for a moment you and Astrid exchanged looks do you just shrugged finally realizing that you couldn't even begin to try and have a normal conversation with her. That's how used you were to just fights and banter and insults and everything that came along with this hatred between you.

Eventually you just pointed at yourself then point upstairs and then point at her and outside. The message being clear, you would, rather regrettably, check up on Rory while she would go and check up on her mother.

To that Astrid, just as unsure of how to interact with you like a normal human being, just went and gave you a thumbs up and you both went your separate ways, one up the stairs to the attic and the other outside to talk to her mother.

~X~

Lydia was stuck in the office, just contemplating everything about her and Astrid’s relationship.

Apparently, her daughter was not gay. In fact, she had a date with a boy. Her first date was with a boy, not with the girl as she expected it would be. Did Lydia really mess up that much that she wasn't even capable of seeing how things actually were? Her daughter, who she believed was gay and actually had a crush on you and was just unable to properly act up on those feelings, threw her a curveball and was going on a date on Halloween night with a boy she met 2 days ago.

How did she miss the signs?

Her concerns were now even bigger because, unlike you, this boy was a complete unknown for Lydia. She didn't know his full name, she didn't know his parents, granted she didn't know your parents either but that was beside the point, she didn't know how he spent his time, what his interests were. She didn't know anyone who knew him, and she was now overthinking it and panicking and was getting even more nervous and afraid for her own daughter because this was a mess, and she was disappointed in herself as a mother for mistaking her daughter’s sexuality.

Maybe Astrid was just bisexual. Maybe. Maybe Lydia just got so deep into preparing for a girlfriend that she forgot that there were other options, all equally daunting for her as the mother of a child that would soon start, that actually just stated dating, and find her own love and heartbreak and everything Lydia herself went through all those decades ago.

Also did her daughter actually just tell her that she crashed through the fence and that's how she met the guy? Like it was just something people did for fun? How did that even happen?

Lydia began breathing deeply, huffing and taking very loud, very deep breaths. She could not go down that train of thought.

~X~

He liked her.

Jeremy liked her. Astrid knew that much, she could see signs that he wanted to kiss her, that he really didn't want to spend any time handing out candies to the kids and instead actually wanted to spend time with her.

And she, at least logically speaking, wasn't opposed to the idea. At least it would prove to her that some feelings she may or may not have were, in fact, not real and just her heart playing with her brain so she would kiss him to prove her heart wrong.

Astrid let him approach her, she felt his hands on her, hugging her and she hugged him back, and he held her like he hasn’t been touched in years. Like he was desperate to feel someone’s touch, someone’s kind and positive touch. Astrid could almost feel his breath on her lips and then she just couldn't do it, because there was an infuriating Barnacle plaguing her thoughts at that very moment.

She pulled away, separating from him even though she knew how it looked. “Sorry I just I think we are rushing too fast into this,” she apologized and he seemed understanding at first. At least from the looks of it, he just turned to the window and looked rejected “I'm not saying I'm opposed to kissing you eventually, but we just met two days ago,” she tried to cheer him up but then he turned to face her.

“No, you’re right, I'm- I'm sorry I just got excited because you can see me and for over 23 years no one saw me and I just thought we had something,” she must have heard him wrong but then she looked down and saw it.

He was floating and that's when she realized all the stories her mother told were actually true and she was actually seeing a ghost these past few days

~X~

You were in the living room, with everyone aside from Astrid and Rory, plus Jane, just lazing around on the sofa and texting Alex. You weren’t in a costume, you had no intention of dressing up for the Halloween.

The truth was, you kind of hated Halloween. Well hate might be a strong word, mostly reserved for Astrid and maybe another thing or two. No the actual word you were looking for regarding Halloween was more like indifference brought upon by that's one time you got dressed as a pumpkin and got teased for by your classmates.

It wasn't fun. It was actually horrific and ever since then you just didn't bother celebrating Halloween. So, what if Astrid was currently on her ridiculous date? It had nothing to do with your current mood. Even if you did hated the guy more than you hated her for some reason. You should have felt sorry for him, after all he was the one who had to deal with being on a date with the Chihuahua.

So, no, you did not care about Astrid being on a date with some random dude.

You just realized you’d be all alone. Delia would be at the cemetery doing whatever she seemed to want to do with the snakes and Lydia would be preparing for her wedding and Rory would be giving out the candy. And you were fine with that. You would just be hanging around on the couch in the living room waiting for Delia to sign all the papers and then you could just go ahead and leave, just start packing what little things you brought here and get ready to go back home. Luckily Delia promised she would arrange a car to come pick you up.

“Where's Rory?” Lydia asked out of blue, almost as if she was asking out of obligation, because she should know where he was and not because she actually had to know where he was. Especially since she had Chihuahua’s first date to worry about.

“Supermarket swapping out the candy I bought for carrot sticks, because Rory loves to fun suck everything even Halloween,” of course Delia did not miss a single chance point out the kind of person Rory was, because Lydia apparently couldn’t see him for who he really was. Even if it didn’t change anything you figured she did feel the need to, in her own way, warn her stepdaughter about him because as far as you knew telling Lydia that Rory was not who he was presenting himself as wasn't working. “Gotta run, see you at the church,” she turned back to Lydia and with a hopeful look added. “Unless you're calling off the wedding.”

“No Delia,” Lydia sighed and just noticed Delia was leaving, that was how focused on Astrid she was. “Wait, why are you going to the cemetery?” Lydia asked. It just crossed your mind that she in her panic earlier today did not see the snakes Delia bought.

“To commune with my dear husband spirit,” was all Delia needed to say. She quickly waved at you and was on her way leaving you alone with Lydia and Jane and from the looks of it, Jane was going to leave soon so that would just leave you and Lydia alone in the house for a while. At least until she would go and get Astrid. Oh, and until Rory came back.

Still, it could be fun. You haven't had the chance to be on your own wait the Lydia Deetz and you actually were curious about her. And it had nothing to do with maybe not wanting to be alone while a certain Chihuahua was on a date with a guy she met two days ago, while she spent so damn long hating you. Yeah, that had nothing to do with it.

Nothing at all!

You did not care where that stupid Chihuahua was or how quickly she fell in love like dumb ass.

“The closest we ever got to Disney was when Astrid dressed as Cinderella’s dead mom,” you absolutely did not filter out what Jane mentioned about her daughter and scouts or whatever group her daughter was in and you absolutely did not think Astrid’s costume sounded exactly like her.

Jane said something something fruit salad mortgage something something non triggering and then asked the question that was annoying the hell out of you, that is, she asked where Astrid was.

Lydia had this soft, yet somber smile on her face. “On a date,” she said, like a parent learning to accept their child was growing up. “Her first. I think I'm more nervous than she is. The boy lives over on Jefferson,” Lydia really did sound nervous when she said that, and you guessed between their rocky relationship and all the things that happened Astrid’s first date at this moment wasn’t something Lydia was entirely prepared for.

Something something perfect sales records something something on the market for years something something once more you're pretty much tuning out the words of the woman the Deetz family hired to sell their house. And you were doing good, tuning her out, that is until she said three words: the murder house and you immediately sat up and stopped texting Alex. A sinking feeling inside of your guts was almost telling you to pay attention because you just had a bad feeling about what was going to they said next.

“Murder house? Which house?” Lydia asked now frantic and you sort of pieced together that's maybe the house show left Astrid at wasn't that far off from looking like a murder house. Because if the house looked normal and if Lydia you got to see the parents or that boy she would not be looking this afraid right now.

“125,” James said and just from the look of Lydia's face you knew that was the house Astrid was in and so you jumped to your feet and rushed to get the car keys.

“Fucking hell Chihuahua, what did you get yourself into?” just as you've got the keys you saw Lydia rushing out. “I'm going with you!” you quickly told her and followed after her into the car. The woman was clearly in shock but all she cared about was just getting to Astrid, nothing else mattered.

You did not dare to tell her you would get there in time. You had no idea how all of this worked, sure you believed in ghosts and you've been seeing glimpses of strange things throughout your life. You still had no idea how any of that actually functioned. You had no idea if they could harm Astrid.

If the guy she was with was bad news then she probably was in danger and especially if Lydia, the most competent person to judge if her daughter was in danger from ghosts was also panicking. “He killed his parents 23 years ago!” okay, Astrid was definitely in danger. “If I just didn’t let her into that house, if I just went in with her! What kind of mother am I if something happens to her-“ Lydia was mostly talking to herself.

“Hey, wait, wait, don't go there you couldn't know!” You tried to get her to calm down. “You're the expert but you couldn't know! Just focus on saving her so you can berate yourself later,” you needed her focused because if she wasn't, you had no hopes of getting Astrid back in time. And you really, as much as you didn't like Astrid, did not want her dead or in danger.

~X~

The moment the car began slowing down in front of the house you just ran out, without even waiting for it to stop and ran up the stairs ignoring the for sale sign in front of the house. You ended up bursting through the doors so hard the handle might have gotten a bit damaged because the doors were old.

You stumbled when you entered the house, you felt sick for a moment when you saw the man. But you did not see him clearly, it was like there was a mist around him.

"Astrid!" Lydia yelled and it snapped you out of your confusion. That man was a ghost, mist meant ghost, at least at this stage of your ability to see ghosts. So, you rushed right through the woman going down the stairs.

"Wait! Deetz!" you yelled as loud as you could as you ran up the stairs two steps at a time. You saw the light and broke through the door, but Astrid just walked through something.

"What the? Barnacle?" your eyes met and you reached out to her but the ghost guy grabbed her forearm and pulled her along and the portal closed before you could reach out and grab her hand.

"Astrid!" Lydia cried out, but it was too late as well.

If only she reached out to you. For the first time since you met her you cursed yourself for not being at least civil with her. "Damn it!" you slammed your fist on the old table, right next to some thick book. "What do we do now?"

Lydia grabbed the book on the table, your outburst probably caught her attention. "Come on, I have a crazy idea," you saw uncertainty in her eyes, fear that maybe not even what she had in mind would be enough, but she had to hope. You both rushed down the stairs, every second mattered and you couldn't waste time on just talking. "Can you drive?" she asked, clearly intending to go through the book.

"Of course," you nodded and ran to the car, starting the engine once more as Lydia sat down next to you.

~X~

You had no time to waste, as you drove around the house and parked the car right in front of the entrance to the house, not even caring that you would somewhat block the path for the kids. They could avoid the car, it didn't matter, you just had to be quick and find a way to rescue Astrid, so up to the stairs you drove.

“Y/N?! Where’s the rush? You're nearly drove into the house!” Rory exclaimed as he was on top of the stairs preparing to hand out the candy to the kids, but you just ran past him not really wasting a moment to stop and chat. You didn’t even turn the engine off, just parked the car.

Lydia gave him some excuse or whatever as you both rushed upstairs. She already told you where to go so you just grabbed the crowbar on the way upstairs and started removing the boards Delia and Lydia put there just an hour or so ago. By the time Lydia came up the stairs as well you were almost done and you both pulled the last wooden board out of the way and went into the attic and from that point on you could only watch her as she found the solution.

The first thing that caught your eye was the small scale model of Winter River, done in amazing detail, and if things were any different you would have spent hours studying it.

“I can't believe I'm doing this,” she took a deep breath. “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!” you had no idea what was going on as she repeated that word? Name? Whatever it was three times.

And then the freakiest thing happened the mist slash smoke surrounding the paranormal vanished from your vision as the zombie-looking guy with green hair and striped suits and rather unhealthy-looking skin emerged from the Winter River model. “The juice is loose,” he said and vanished, only to appear right next to Lydia.

“I need you to tell me what this means,” she skipped the formalities and just showed him the pages of the book she found in that room where Astrid was.

“Let's have a look,” he pulled out a magnifying glass. “Long story short, your daughter is screwed,” well, fuck! “She decided to trade lives with a boy, he gets to come back while she's stuck on the other side, permanently. One way ticket to the Soul Train,” this guy, Beetlejuice, explained and you were just absolutely confused about what was going on. Afterlife actually existed, and people could come back.

More importantly… “She did what?! Why would she do that? Who does that?” you demanded. Astrid was smart! What did that ghost offer her to make her accept giving up her life? Or did he just outright trick her? “Shit, we need to get her back,” you turned away from Lydia and Beetlejuice and ran your hand through your hair, not even sure you would make it in time.

“The Soul Train?” Lydia asked for further explanations.

“That's right! The last stop, The Great Beyond,” he said and you just leaned back against the wall. Was there even anything you could do at this point? Astrid was on the other and you were over here in the living world. But then again Beetlejuice was from that other world. Was that why Lydia called him? Because he could somehow move the two of you into the world of the dead?

Wait, were you about to go into the world of the dead for Astrid? Not knowing the risks, or the consequences, or if it would be dangerous? You knew nothing about it, it was a complete unknown that you weren’t even sure existed five minutes ago!

Somehow you knew the answer was yes. You would take all those risks to take her back, because you plain and simple couldn’t live with yourself if you just let her die.

“Can we go in after her?” You asked as you once more turned toward Lydia and Beetlejuice.

“Quid pro quo, I want something in return,” while he replied to you he was looking at Lydia, as if he would only accept something from her.

Maybe those were the rules? Since she summoned him?

“Of course you do. What do you want?” Lydia asked ready to give him anything he asked for as long as it would save her daughter.

“Well I've got this ex-wife-“ Beetlejuice began and you've spent enough time with Delia and you knew a tangent when you saw one.

“Get to the point!” You exclaimed. Each second could be vital in keeping Astrid alive, and you did not want to waste it on his tangents.

“You want me to marry you,” Lydia knew what he wanted, and you just turned to look at her because what the fuck was that about? How would that even work? All of this was too much and the only reason you were keeping your sanity was because you had a goal in mind.

You weren’t sure you’d be keeping your sanity for much longer as so you watched this Beetlejuice act like getting married was Lydia's idea, like she just proposed to him because she wanted that. And then he made her sign some contract because apparently, he needed that in writing. You were in the most absurd situation possible and you half- expected to just wake up and see that everything was fine. Like this was all just a fever dream and you would wake up go to the work at the library you'd see Astrid there being annoying and being a Chihuahua and getting on your nerves and not on the way to swap lives with a ghost and die.

“What's the plan on getting in?” Lydia had enough of his bullshit as well and just demanded to know how you all would get in.  

Beetlejuice just vanished again and appeared in front of the wall, crouching and drawing a bomb with the fuse. He then just went and lit his thumb on fire. This was all absolutely ridiculous because the drawn fuse just lit on fire and the bomb exploded and instead of looking outside of the house you were looking into some office.

“Deetz, you're gonna be the death of me,” you said, ready to just go through.

“Trust me kid I know the feeling,” Beetlejuice said.

“I did not ask,” fuck it, you were going in, and you were not getting out without Astrid.

Taglist: @alexkolax @osnapitzmel1 @bee-keeping @nebthetautora @lololauser

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Masterlist / First part / Previous Part / Next Part

[justwonder113]

Showering Hyunjin with affection

Bang Chan; Lee Know; Changbin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

Summary: you just had to show your drama queen of a boyfriend how much you love him. word count:2.5k

Warning: lot's of kissing, reader is gender neutral, both of them are whipped, appearance of 3racha, predebut Han almost making an entrance, Hyunjin is drunk and a drama queen, overall soft stuff. Please tell me if I missed something

A/N- I'm back with another fic, this took me a while but I'm kinda really satisfied with it, I really hope you all like it. I will try to write the next part as soon as I can. I wanna finish these series as soon as I can, first of all because I'm all excited and can't wait, also I'm excited to try out new tropes, I was thinking of challenging one bed trope after this, with various different dynamics. The requests are open, if you want me to write something I'll gladly accept the challenge. Also feel free to share your thoughts with me, I absolutely adore interacting with y'all. If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

After sighing for the nth time you finally forced yourself to turn off the shitty netflix show you were watching to spend time. You had nothing to do and were bored out of your mind, but not to that context to sit through another minute of this. It was almost 3 am and any normal person would be asleep by now, but here you were wide awake, feeling nothing remotely close to sleepiness.

You sat up straight after laying for couple of hours and boy you regretted it. The dizzy spell you got was nothing to joke with, maybe you should check your iron levels. Also your poor muscles felt so sore you would surely feel all stiff tomorrow. Your back was killing you, and, not to be dramatic but, you would marry anyone on the spot if they managed to massage the knots out. It was safe to say, you desperately needed some good spa day.

Speaking of marriage and partners, you were curious on how Hyunjin was doing. Even a mere thought of your amazing boyfriend bought a smile to your face. You couldn't believe you two were actually dating after pining over him for so many years. You sure were lucky tho, to have a sweetheart like him as your boyfriend. Your one year annivercary was coming soon and you couldn't surprise wait to surprise him. You've been planning everything for weeks now and you made sure everything would be perfect. Well you had to share some of your plans with him, so that you could plan your day together but you still had major card up your sleeve and you were sure he would lose his mind when you showed it to him. Two days, you only had to wait for two days.

You couldn't help but sigh, you missed him so much. Even though you saw him two days ago it felt like centuries had passed. This boy made you feel so many so foreign emotions you were never sure you would get to or actually could experience. He always went above and beyond to make you feel like the most special and cherished person, and the fact that he also did so even before you two started dating each other. He was always so sweet and gentle with you. You always felt like a hero of a romance novel. Also you adored how being with him was so fun and exciting but at the same time bought peace to your heart and mind. You might be rushing into things but day by day, second by second you were convinced he was your soulmate, your other half.

A sudden buzzing of your phone startled you out of your daydream, you were curious who in their right mind was calling you at this hour.

Seeing the contact name had you even more confused. Why would Chan be calling you at 3 am? You knew the boys were out having fun night for themselves. Did something happen? You hoped he called you for other reasons, because it would really suck if their rare chance of having fun got ruined by something unplanned. You sure hoped everything was okay tho. Quickly as you could you grabbed your phone and answered it mentaly preparing yourself to hear anything Chan had to say.

Chan's call of your name bought you down to reality from another spiral of unnescesary thoughts.

"Hey Chan what's up?" You tried to sound as calm as you could.

Chan cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" You quickly denied it," no I'm awake, what's up? Is everything okay?"

Chan chuckled and it made you relax a little, so nothing bad had happened, "yeah, yeah everything's fine , nothing to worry about, it's just your boyfriend is getting a bit fussy." You couldn't help but mirror the last word, you heard Chan chuckle. "Yeah alcohol must've got to him. We were about to go home, but he refuses to cooperate. He says he wants to go at yours because he as he quotes "misses his baby so much he can't take it anymore!" He dragged the words mimicking your boyfriend, you couldn't help but chuckle.

"Where are you guys, I can come pick him up." You suggested while searching for your keys with your eyes.

"No, no it's okay, we can bring him at yours. Binnie and Han are with me too so I don't think it will be much trouble. I just couldn't knock some sense into him, I told him to call you but he said his phone died. At some point he even ran towards your house or that's what he thought I had to tackle him before he could get lost. I don't think he can tell left from right in this state" He paused for a second, you heard someone talking but you couldn't hear anything, " I'm getting off track sorry, so it's good to bring him at yours?" You were full on chuckling now, what a silly little man.

"Yeah, it's totally fine. I'm sorry he's being trouble."

"No it's fine, it's kinda endearing to see him this whipped. All he talked about was you and how amazing you are." Your cheeks hurt from smiling this wide, God, you loved that idiot. "Okay I won't bore you anymore, we'll be at yours soon."

"Okay I'm waiting."

After finishing the call you made sure you looked decent enough for your taste and that your apartment looked neat. You also prepared clothes for Hyunjin to change into from his drawer and some water and painkillers for tomorrow.

It didn't even take 20 minutes for the boys to arrive. The second you opened your door Hyunjin tackled you into a hug, almost knocking you over, thankfully Changbin and Chan caught you two before you could manage and break your necks. You giggled at your boyfriends eagerness, before frowning when you saw how swollen and red his eyes were. "What happened baby?" You cooed at him and moved his hair out of his face. Hyunjin sighed and hugged you again, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You heard collective sigh of boys and turned your attention to them, looking at them with confused eyes, hoping they would tell you what was up.

Han decided to break the silence-"don't worry he was just bawling his eyes the whole ride, crying how amazing and perfect you were and how there is no one like you." He said and rolled his eyes, you huffed out a laugh, you knew he had nothing against you, but he must have had enough of this. Hyunjin frowned and glanced at him, his hold on you tightened, you were not sure if he felt possesive or just couldn't keep himself straight. "You're just bitter cuz you're single!" Hearing your boyfriends grumble Han's eyes widened and for a second you were afraid predebut Han would return. "Oh I'm gonna beat his ass!" Han leaned in but Changbin held him back by his collar, Changbins gaze then turned to you and you noticed how tired he seemed. "Good luck, he's your headache now."

Chan looked at you" Do you need any help with anything?" You smiled at him and shook your head. "I can handle him. Do you guys wanna come in tho? Do you want something to drink?" After hearing the last word you could see all three of them shiver.

"We're fine. It's late too we better head home." Chan reassured you after glancing at Changbin and Han for their opinion.

"Okay, thanks again for bringin him. Tell me when you're home, it's really late."

You said your goodbyes and turned to hyunjin who looked at you with dazed, sparkling eyes. "Let's get you settled pretty boy." You took his hand and started leading him towards your bedroom. Hyunjin eagerly followed you, you were amazed how pliant he was being, usually he loved being a brat but he must have been too tired now to act so.

After helping Hyunjin get ready for bed, you quickly got changed too and got in bed next to him. turning to him you noticed that he looked at you with wide eyes, nowhere near sleepy now. You leaned in and removed hair from his forehead, "I thought you were sleepy baby." Hyunjin looked at you for a second or two and opened his arms, "wanna cuddle." His words were slurred but you still got what he meant, you smiled and immediately snuggled next to him his arms finding solace around you. Based on how content he looked, if he could he would start purring any second now. How was he so cute and lovable? You knew you were whipped for him but you could swear he looked extra yummy right now.

You spent couple of minutes like this, and based on his even breathing you were sure he was asleep now, but you were proved wrong when he huffed while glaring at you and then changed sides so that you were now facing his back. To be honest you were a bit dumbfounded.

"What's wrong sweetie?" You couldn't help but pry, you had no idea what could've brought this behavior from him. Hyunjin just huffed. You sighed for yourself, you had got to use the big guns. You leaned in closer, amused at how he tried to get away from your touch, as if he had much space to run off to, and soon, not really to your surprise you had him trapped in the corner of your bed. You wrapped your hand around his stiff body and leaned in closer so that you could sweetly whisper against his ear. " Please tell me what's wrong my love" you dragged his nickname as sweetly as you could knowing it made him weak in the knees, and it did break through him. Hyunjin sighed and laid on his back, you glued next to him, his lips were pouted and his eyes a little bit glossy, you rubbed his side to ease him into talking .

"You don't love me" he whined quietly, you expected to hear anything but this from him if you were honest. You blinked at him confused, trying to gather your thoughts, you were both perplexed and also hollering from laughter inside. He was so ridiculous sometimes. You took a deep breath and moved your fingers to play with his soft locks, Hyunjin immediately leaned into the touch.

"My love, I love you so much I don't think you can even comprehend it! What brought this up?" Your voice was soft, you wanted him to know how sincere you were. Hyunjin sighed and put his hand on your waist, successfully bringing you closer to him, your fingers migrated and now were gently scratching his nape. Hyunjin hid his face in the crook of your neck and quietly grumbled "you didn't kiss me even once since I got here, we haven't seen each other in a while tho." No matter how hard you tried you couldn't hold it in and started cackling, this adorable as hell drama Queen! He had you worried for nothing! You even thought for a second you did something wrong.

Noticing your shaking figure, Hyunjin looked up at you with doe eyes, and his pout deepened when he saw you that you were wholeheartedly laughing. "Stop laughing I'm talking from my heart here!" His comment made you laugh even harder. "I should've gone home, you hates me" noticing how sad he sounded you got reminded that he was drunk as hell and was feeling more fragile, you wondered tho if he would remember any of this in the morning? Was it too late to grab a camera? Pouty Hyunjin was adorable.

"I'm sorry my love, you know I love you the most." Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and you knew he was playing with you, his eyes glimmered with mischief, well, two could play this game. You lowered your voice so you sounded almost sultry "Why don't you let me prove my sincerity to you then? Are you gonna let me?" You carefully watched as Hyunjin's eyes widened for a second, the big gulp and careful nod of his head.

This was all the permission you needed, you leaned in and carefully sealed your lips together, your boyfriend basically melted against you. You just loved how soft and pillowy his lips were, you always felt like you could kiss him for eternity.

The kiss started out soft, with you gently caressing his lips, his hand firm on your waist, holding you as if you were going to go away. Everything went quiet, you could only see, smell, taste, feel, hear him and so much more, he was the center of your universe. It was just you two right now, you didn't care about anything else. You had one goal only and you were dedicated. Everything about him was driving you crazy, you were sure he couldn't even grasp what, or how much you were feeling.

Your kisses quickly deepened and apart from gasping for air from time to time you two were inseparable, like two magnets pulling on each other.

The second Hyunjin leaned back for a second for some air, you decided to continue your little attack on his jaw, then his cheeks, absolutely loving the feel of his soft skin on your lips, then came his forehead, his eyelids, his beautiful nose, his chin, his neck... You wanted to cover every inch of him in kisses, to show appreciation to whichever god or gods crafted him, to show appreciation that this walking perfection was yours, his soft sighs and whines making you go even crazier.

You littered every part of skin you could reach with kisses until your lips were so numb and buzzing you got afraid they would fall off. Although, it didn't sound that bad, knowing the last thing they did was to kiss the Hwang Hyunjin senseless.

Looking at him, he looked at you with so much love and adoration, his face and neck all flushed, his breathing was quick and shallow,his hair all disheveled, his beautiful hands held you so tightly, your heart started fluttering all over again. He looked absolutely breathtaking, you wished you could engrave this moment into your mind for eternity. You smiled at him and softly grazed his cheek. "Are you satisfied with my answer my precious?" Your voice was soft, Hyunjin gleamed at you and eagerly nodded his head, and the next thing you knew you were on your back on the bed, Hyunjin above you, hugging you as tight as he could, his lips softly kissing your collarbone. "Absolutely, I love you so much beautiful, you have no idea" he pressed another kiss on your neck and then your lips with so much love and passion you just knew your feelings were returned with the same passion and vigor.

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated ^^

If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

[nyrandrea]

Restless

Summary: As your sleepless nights start to catch up with you, you turn to a certain vampire who might just be able to help.

Also available to read here on A03!

Word Count - 2.7k

Enjoy!

xxx

Sleep had always been something of an illusion to you. 

Each night, as the world succumbed to slumber, you lay in your bedroll, with eyes wide open, gazing at the twinkling stars of the endless night sky. It was as if the world had pressed pause, leaving you to confront the shadows of your own thoughts. Your insomnia was a relentless adversary, a cruel warden that held you captive in the prison of wakefulness. 

The nights stretched on endlessly, and as the hours ticked by, your exhaustion grew more profound.  

Your mind raced with thoughts, a relentless carousel of worries, hopes, and regrets. You would toss and turn, your body tangled in the sheets, seeking elusive comfort. Come morning, the birds seemed to mock you, a constant reminder of the passage of time that slipped away while you lay wide awake.

By the time everyone else was up and refreshed from a good night’s sleep, you were still lying flat on your back, your bloodshot eyes stinging as you stared up at the pale morning sky. 

“Darling, it’s time to get up,” Astarion said, standing above you with hands on hips, his expression somewhat bemused. “Honestly, you’re so lazy, just like Gale.” 

He muttered that last part, glaring towards the wizard’s tent as a rumbling snore emanated from it and echoed throughout the camp. The vampire suddenly smirked, and you rolled your head to follow his gaze, only to see Karlach sneaking towards the tent with her hands out, ready to pounce. 

The snoring was cut short with a high-pitched scream, followed by a roar of laughter, and a lot of cursing on Gale’s part. 

“Good, at least that’s one of you up,” Astarion said, turning back towards you. “Now, are you going to follow suit? Or am I going to have to stoop to Karlach’s tactics? Brash as they are.” 

“Hey! My tactics are quite refined, thank you very much,” Karlach rebuked, stabbing a thumb in Gale’s direction, the poor man stumbling to find his cloak. “Got him up, didn’t I?” 

“That you did, darling.” 

“I’m up,” you muttered hoarsely, wincing as you slowly pushed yourself up off the ground, your body feeling about a hundred years old. “I’m up.” 

“Oh dear,” Astarion grimaced. “Looks like someone didn’t get their beauty sleep last night, hm?” 

His tone was light but there was an almost... concerned note to it, as if he was prodding. You felt a pang in your chest; he only spoke the truth; your eyes, once bright and expressive, now bore the heavy bags and dark circles of sleep deprivation. Your skin had dulled and paled considerably over the past few weeks, and your hair was dishevelled and unkempt.  

You almost certainly looked as bad as you felt. 

Part of you wanted to blame the group: Astarion for nearly sucking you dry of your blood, Karlach for being so damn loud all the time, Gale for making demands of you every ten minutes, Lae’zel for very nearly causing fights everywhere she went with her brashness, Shadowheart for her condescending demeanour and Wyll for craving validation from you every time you had a chat with him. The only sane person here seemed to be Halsin, and even he was starting to grate on your nerves for just looking so damn well-rested and perky.

The other part of you wanted to cry, to apologise for being such a failure and run away into the woods to never be seen or heard from again and just succumb to whatever fate the mind-flayer parasite had in store for you. 

Instead, you forced a smile, and lied.  

“Just had a nightmare, is all.” 

“Hm,” Astarion hummed, a simmering concern etched into the lines of his face. In that moment you felt a soft push in your mind, and the tadpole behind your eye squirmed as if responding to something. The atmosphere was heavy with unspoken emotions, a palpable tension that seemed to hang between you both.  

It was only when you winced that the vampire averted his gaze, and the unseen force retreated from your mind. 

“Terribly sorry,” Astarion said as you rubbed your head. “It would seem that my worm wanted to talk with yours; perhaps it was... concerned. Ooh, do you think that they’re best friends?” 

“I doubt it,” you muttered, a little annoyed at his giddiness. “Maybe tell yours to mind its own business next time.” 

“Of course, apologies again,” he said with that smooth voice and puppy-dog eyes of his, it was enough to make your irritation melt away. “But should a nightmare ever arise in that darling head of yours again, just know that you can seek me out.” 

You blinked, a little surprised at the open invitation. You couldn’t quite tell if it was genuine; it was always hard to tell with him. The only times you had ever been intimate was whenever he sought you out for a bit of casual fun. He seemed confused as to why you never wanted to initiate, but you tried to explain that while you enjoyed your time together, you never wanted to invade his privacy as you respected that camp time was everyone’s chance for a bit of peace and were entitled to such.  

This only seemed to confuse him further. 

Still, this had to be a big step for him, to ask you to his tent -his sanctuary- and you didn’t want to seem ungrateful. 

“I-I will,” you stutter. “Thank you.” 

“Anytime, my dear,” Astarion smiled. “Now, shall we see what chaos today brings for us? It’s been far too long since we’ve had to kill anyone.” 

You bumped his shoulder playfully. “We killed that group of bandits only yesterday.” 

He returned the gesture with a sly smirk. “Exactly.” 

During the day, you continued your journey with a fragile facade of normalcy, sipping on coffee like it was the elixir of life, desperately trying to stay awake. Your interactions with others were tinged with a weary detachment, as if you were viewing the world through a foggy pane of glass.  

Emotions played hide-and-seek within your very soul. Frustration lurked just beneath the surface, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation. An innocent quip or question would trigger an unexpected wellspring of tears, followed by nervous laughter, leaving everyone in the group perplexed. You merely brushed it off as the tadpole messing with your head, but even that raised a few eyebrows as nobody else was acting up—it was a good thing you were persuasive. 

You tried to avoid battles wherever and whenever you could, opting to take the longer roads or attempting to sweet-talk your way out of a sticky situation. However, some fights were unavoidable, and this was when your sleep deprivation was really put on show for everyone to see; your movements were sluggish, enemies were able to get more hits on you and you had to be helped back up to your feet on more than one occasion.  

The others insisted on setting up camp a little earlier than usual so you could rest and, despite your trying to tell them that you were fine and wanted to keep going because these tadpoles weren’t going to remove themselves anytime soon, they wouldn’t take no for an answer.  

So, here you were again, on your back, staring up at the stars. Another night of having an existential crisis while everyone else slumbered on peacefully. Rinse and repeat. 

You had tried everything to conquer your insomnia. Experimented with herbal teas, soothing music, you had even consulted a sleep specialist back in Baldur’s Gate who prescribed a cocktail of medications. But the battle persisted, night after night. 

Sitting up and rubbing your dry, stinging eyes, you decided to try something else. 

As you crept through the camp, you were careful not to wake anyone else up as you approached Astarion’s tent, tentatively peeking in through the flap before reprimanding yourself; even though he had invited you, boundaries were important, you couldn’t just go barging in. So, you gently knocked on one of the wooden beams that supported the tent. 

“Astarion...?” You softly whispered, waiting for a response. 

Only silence followed. 

You knocked again, wincing slightly at the louder noise you made. For a moment you thought about abandoning this whole silly idea and going back to staring into space for the next eight hours, but desperation made you persistent. 

Mercifully, you heard a faint shuffle come from inside the tent. 

“Come in,” Astarion’s husky, muffled voice answered. 

Nervously, you slipped inside, and a wave of warmth immediately washed over your face as you were greeted with the sight of a bare-chested Astarion sitting cross-legged on his bedroll. You were grateful he at least had pants on, otherwise you would have been out of there like a shot. 

A mischievous smile spread across his face as he watched you squirm uncomfortably. “Whatever is the matter, darling?” His lips formed a perfect pout. “Come to ask me for a little cuddle to chase the bad dreams away?” 

Your nostrils flared as you glowered down at him while he smirked smugly back up, because of course he would tease you about something like this. You should have known that he wasn’t going to take you seriously. 

“Forget it,” you said, making a sharp turn to re-open the tent flap. “I-I never should have come here, I’ll just... leave you be.”  

You missed the flash of panic on his face as he quickly got to his knees to reach out and grab your wrist before you could make it out.  

“Wait!” He said, stopping you in your tracks. “I’m sorry, come back in, please?” 

You slowly turned your head. 

“I promise not to tease you.” 

Begrudgingly, you allowed him to take your hand and escort you back inside, guiding you to sit down beside him on the floor. 

“You’re having trouble sleeping again, I presume?” 

Nodding your head, you squeezed the bridge of your nose and sighed, trying to swallow down the overwhelming urge to break down in front of him and cry in pure frustration.  

“I... I’ve been struggling with insomnia for a while now.” 

Astarion scoffed. “Well now, that’s a revelation.” 

You had half a mind to slap him. 

“Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands in a placating manner. “No teasing, of course, but come on darling, it was pretty obvious from the start.” 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, your gaze cast downward, wondering why you even came here in the first place if he was just going to insult you. 

“You’re still beautiful,” he said, softly caressing your jaw to angle your face towards him. “Very beautiful indeed.” 

Your heart thumped wildly as the tip of your nose brushed his, and you would have crumpled into his well-tuned act of seduction if it were not for one burning question suddenly on your mind. 

“How do you do it?"

“I- do what?”  

“Elves don’t sleep, right?” You said, blinking curiously. “How do you... not sleep?” 

“We uh... meditate, darling. Wait, how do you not know this?” he asked, pulling back with his eyebrow raised. “You must have seen me doing it at some stage or another.” 

“...I always just thought you pretended to sleep,” you hummed in thought. “Now that I think about it, the way you lay down was always kind of strange looking.” 

He snorted a laugh at your brutal honesty, and feeling a jab of guilt, you tried to back-track on your word vomit. 

“Sorry! Um… no offence?” 

"None taken, darling,” he said, waving a nonchalant hand. “I can see why my eloquent poses would look strange to you, but for elves, meditation is a common practice. Helps us to… calm down; be in the moment, as it were.” 

A comfortable silence fell between you.

“Could you show me?”  

Astarion gave you a questionable look. “You want me to show you how to meditate?” 

You nod vigorously and cross your legs with your arms resting on your knees to show that you’re serious. It takes you a moment to figure out which fingers were supposed to touch together but you get there eventually.  

With a bemused smile, the vampire shrugs. “Alright, I've had stranger requests.” 

You wanted to question that but put a pin in it for another time. 

"Are you ready?" Astarion asked. You nod, your heart fluttering with both anticipation and trust. “Now, clear your head.” 

You give him a dry look. 

He rolls his eyes back. “Yes, admittedly a little hard, what with the little residents living up there but just... trust me, alright? Close your eyes.” 

You complied, and Astarion began to guide you, his words soft and rhythmic, like a gentle lullaby. "Breathe in deeply," he said, his own breath aligning with yours. "Feel the air fill your lungs, expanding your chest, and exhale slowly, try to let go of any tension." 

You followed his instructions, your breath matching his like a perfectly choreographed dance. With each inhale and exhale, you felt a growing sense of calm washing over. 

"Thoughts may arise, like passing clouds," Astarion murmured. "Acknowledge them but let them drift away. Return your focus to your breath.” 

You found yourself navigating the currents of your thoughts with newfound ease, like a sailor guiding a boat through calm waters. The more you let go, the more profound your sense of inner stillness grew. You felt the weight of your worries begin to dissolve. The burdens of your leadership, of the mind-flayer tadpoles and the problems that came with it seemed to retreat into the distance, leaving you with a newfound clarity. 

"Good," Astarion whispered. "Now, focus on your body. Notice any tension, any discomfort. Let it go with each breath. Feel your body becoming lighter, more at ease." 

Minutes passed like hours, and the tent seemed to fill with an ethereal stillness. You and Astarion remained connected through your breath, it was as if time itself had become irrelevant, and you were both suspended in a moment of pure existence. 

You could feel the tension in your shoulders and neck melting away. It was as if the cares of the world were simply slipping through your fingers. 

Slipping... 

Slipping...  

“...Darling? Are you-? Oh.” 

Astarion’s eyes widen, and he winces a little when your head falls into his shoulder. He catches you gently by the arms, so you don’t slip and go face-first into his lap; it was a delicious thought but for another time, when you were conscious and ready.  

But right now, he isn’t quite sure what to do with you. He certainly knows he can’t hold you like this all night; it would be uncomfortable for both of you. His eyebrows crease as he frowns while he tries to slowly lower you to the ground. 

To absolutely no avail; unconsciously you end up pulling him in closer. 

“Oh, for Gods's sake,” the vampire huffs incredulously. “What am I, some sort of glorified teddy bear?” 

Half-asleep and still nestled into Astarion’s chest, you mumble something incoherent in response, your breath warm against his skin. You snuggle even closer, your head burrowing into the crook of his neck. 

For a moment, Astarion felt a flicker of irritation, his desire for a good night's rest warring with his affection for you. He yearned to stretch out, to find the perfect position that would allow him the bliss of undisturbed meditation. But as he looked down at the peaceful expression on your face, all traces of weariness and anxiety erased, he just couldn't bring himself to disturb you. 

Reluctantly, he wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer still. He could feel the gentle rise and fall of your breath, the slow, rhythmic cadence of sleep. The warmth of your body against his own gradually seeped through the cracks in his defences, and his irritation gave way to an overwhelming tenderness. 

In that moment, he realised that the inconvenience of being your living pillow was a small price to pay for the privilege of holding you close, of being the one you sought comfort in. As you drifted further into slumber, Astarion closed his eyes and surrendered to the serenity of the night, the gentle weight of your devotion for each other enveloping you both, anchoring him in the moment and reminding him of the beauty in life's simple, sweet sacrifices. 

xxx 

Yyyyyeah I know this one has the same beats as 'Everything's Fine' but what can I say? I'm a sucker for begrudgingly soft Astarion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Let me know what y'all think!

Links to my other Astarion works

'Everything's Fine'

Request - Astarion kills everyone in his path to get to you

[ghoulangerlee]

HERE WE GO. dewther phone sex that probably could have gone on for another six thousand words if I'd continued writing instead of forcing myself to end it :)

there is some lore-y stuff in here because I am not me if I don't include my own personal lore, and at the end there's mentions of heats and knotting but neither of those actually happen :)

Dew is a lil mean in this but as it turns out, Aether really likes em mean.

-

The phone rings, pulling him from the inventory reports in front of him—it's the desk phone of all things, not his cell that sits face down a little further away and for a moment, he thinks to ignore it, to continue his work so he can finish quicker and get to bed sooner, but at the late hour it could be some kind of emergency— 

He picks it up, balancing his pen in his other hand as he cradles the desk phone between his ear and shoulder, “Infirmary, this is Aether speaking, how can I help you?”  

There’s silence on the line for a moment and Aether tilts his head, “Hello? Is someone there?”  

A sigh, familiar in its tone echoes across the line, “Hey Aeth,” Dew mumbles, sounding tired, “Didn’t know if you’d still be awake.”  

Aether glances up at the clock across the room, the hands ticking by slowly, it’s late, much later than he’d expected, “Ah,” he says, “I was finishing up some inventory reports in the infirmary, some new guy decided to double the amount of gauze we need so now we’re swimming in it but don’t have any more antibiotics,” he glances down at the papers in front of him, red lines crossed through black numbers, “Been down here most of the day counting things to get everything right again.”  

Dew hums, a pleased little sound, “I like hearing you talk about the work you do,” he says, tone bordering on that sappy-tired one he gets whenever he’s worked to the bone and sleepy, “I miss you.”  

“I miss you too,” Aether murmurs with a small smile, leaning back in his chair and focusing all of his attention on Dew, “How is guard duty with Frater Imperator?” he asks, a brief flash of worry catching him.  

“He’s safe,” Dew says, yawns widely over the line, “A little annoyed by the travel, a lot annoyed that there may still be something or someone after him despite everything,” he’s candid about it, and if Aether closes his eyes, he can almost see Dew sitting in front of him, waving a lazy hand in emphasis as he speaks. “Of course, we’re doing fine, this other church is okay, a little drafty and the ghouls here don’t really speak, but I guess it’s fine for a little while. The elders keep giving me dirty looks when they think Copia isn’t watching though.”  

A pang of regret goes through him, he’d almost went with Dew and Copia, but something had come up in the infirmary, someone had fallen ill and he’d been the best person to fill in, he wishes he were there with Dew right now. “Sounds exciting,” he says, “A little draft isn’t too much for a fire ghoul, right?” he asks teasingly, feeling the tension of the day fade the longer he speaks to Dew.  

“Cold day in Hell that a puny little church with an annoying clergy bothers me enough to make me leave early,” Dew says with a snort, “I wanted to talk to you though, time differences suck. We’re on different continents and everything so I can’t even really feel you right now either.”  

Aether gets it, he can feel the way his bond with Dew is weakened, barely there, dormant in the distance between them—in the back of his mind he can still feel him, but it’s a far cry from the usual. “I know, wisp,” he murmurs, “I wish we were closer too,” he admits, “Church is quiet without you here.”  

“Copia was giving me shit earlier,” Dew admits after a few moments of silence, “Said I looked sad, like someone stole something from me,” he pauses, clears his throat, “Told me to come call you, that you’d probably be up working still even at the late hour.”  

“He was right,” Aether says with a little laugh, “Not that he has any room to talk about what is and isn’t late,” he continues, and then glances up at the ceiling, “Are you still sad?” he asks cheekily, lazily spinning his chair to the side, “Do you need me to talk to you so you can fall asleep?”  

He means it as a joke, but there’s a serious undercurrent there, something they’d discovered before Copia’s lateral move, when Dew had toured but Aether stayed behind—sometimes, sometimes his brain wouldn’t let him sleep, not alone, and he’d call Aether, listen to the quintessence ghoul talk until his eyes grew heavy and he fell into a comfortable sleep—imagining his mate right there beside him.  

Dew hums lazily, “Maybe,” he starts, but this time, there’s something of a breathless quality to his voice, “Or maybe I want to talk to you about other things.”  

It takes Aether a moment, if he focuses hard enough, he can hear something on the other line, a slick sound, a hitch in Dew’s breathing, “Is this a booty call?” he can’t help but ask, the words spilling out before he can stop it, “Dew are you—” he cuts himself off, presses his palm against the bottom of the phone and glances around the office.  

It’s late, of course, and the door isn’t locked, but he’s the only one down here right now, having sent the rest of the staff off, only keeping a bare bones support staff in case of emergencies, but he can’t sense anyone else.  

“I am working,” Aether finally says, lowering his hand, feeling a flush come up the sides of his neck, “If someone were to walk into my office, they’d—”  

“They’d what?” Dew asks sharply, the hitch in his voice making it obvious what he’s doing, “They’d think you were on the phone, right, baby? That you’re working late, working so hard for everyone, making sure the inventory reports are all correct. You’re not doing something silly like touch yourself, are you? You’re on the phone and you’re working diligently.”  

Aether grits his teeth, pressing a fist hard into his thigh, “I’m not touching myself,” he says, and looks down at his desk again, numbers taunting him on the page, “I’ve stopped working for the moment to talk to you,” he inhales deeply, bites his lip when he hears Dew moan quietly over the line.  

“You’re being such a good boy,” Dew murmurs the praise, praise that shoots right down to Aether’s core, “I’m going to touch myself and you’re going to listen to me and keep working, aren’t you?”  

Aether bites harder at his lower lip, tilting his head back against the chair, “I am,” he finally agrees, after a long moment of listening to Dew breathe heavily, the slick sounds of his hand.  

Dew waits for a moment, almost as if he’s aware that Aether’s not working, waits for minutes until Aether sits up, scoots his chair forward and picks his pen back up, “If I were there with you, I’d situate myself under your desk,” he purrs, words going a bit high on the end. “You’d be a busy body about it, complain about me distracting you but we both know you want me to.”  

Aether digs the pen into the paper in front of him, keeping his gaze trained on the numbers on the page and he hums a little, “You are good at being a little shit sometimes,” he says, trying to keep his tone casual.  

A laugh, breathless and the slick sounds seem to get louder, “Uh huh,” he agrees, “I am, but you love me like that, you love when I push your buttons. Take you down a peg, big guy.” Dew grunts a little and Aether can only imagine that he’s fucking up into his fist, “You turn to putty in my hands the second I get my mouth on you,” he breathes.  

“Lies,” Aether says, trying to keep his voice firm as he presses his legs together, “You’re just running your mouth.”  

Dew swears softly, “Aether,” he moans out, “Strong words for the guy who begged me to fuck him right before I left,” he teases, and Aether feels hot under the collar when he thinks about it, how desperate he had been for Dew’s dick. “It’s okay big guy, I love when you fall apart for me, when you can barely speak because you’re so dick drunk,” he coos, “Thinking about how your skin’s so cold, but every time I get inside you, you heat up like a fire ghoul,” he teases, “Like I’m branding you from the inside out, isn’t that right baby, you’re all mine and no one can fuck you as good as I can.”  

Aether squeezes the pen in his hand tight enough that he can hear the plastic creaking, “Dew,” he says sharply, but doesn’t speak beyond that, knows if he says anything else he’s going to make a fool of himself, he’s going to start babbling about how much he wishes Dew were here now, down under his desk, mouth on him, making him come.  

As the silence stretches between them, Dew moans again, this time higher, another swear, the steady creak of bedsprings, little ah, ah, ahs falling from his lips as he does, “Say something sweet for me baby,” he finally says, breathless and oh so close. “Let me hear your gorgeous voice, tell me what you want me to do for you, baby.”  

And oh Dew’s begging now, desperate in the same way he gets when they’re together, even when he’s being mean and teasing Aether—when he’s close, when he just needs a bit more to come.  

The pen clatters to the desk and Aether’s quick to shove his hand down the front of his scrubs, so glad he’d opted for them instead of the stuffy slacks he normally wore when on administration duties, “I want your mouth on me,” he finally admits, “Wanna fuck your face while you wait under the desk for me to finish working,” he manages to get out, moans when his fingers meet his dick, stroking over it quickly. “Want you to put a couple of fingers inside me, something for me to squeeze around,” he swallows heavily, tilts his head back against the chair as he arches his hips up into his own touch, imagining the heat of Dew’s mouth around him, “I feel so empty, firelight,” he admits, voice breaking a little as he does, pants out in the open, “Feels so empty when you’re away, want you to carve a place inside me and never leave.”  

Dew swears again, louder, a litany of fucks falling from his lips and Aether thinks he comes, thinks if he focuses hard enough he can feel it, the heat of it inside him, that maybe their distance is driving him a bit mad with how much he misses him.  

“Come for me baby,” Dew’s voice, rough with his orgasm, fills Aether’s ears, draws a sharp gasp out of him as he clenches around nothing and comes, goes completely breathless with it as he continues to touch himself until he’s too sensitive and he has to pull his hand away though it doesn’t go far, arm falling limp between his thighs once his hand is free from his scrub pants.  

It takes a while for his heart to settle down, for his breathing to fall under control again and he allows it, floats there as he wishes that Dew were here with him right now, a warm weight between his legs, fire all down his chest and stomach as he cradles him close, chasing away the chill that always falls over Aether after coming.  

“—ay we’re going to be back tomorrow, we’ve done all the ground work here, anyway, the rest is just boring admin work that can be done over Doom meetings.” Dew’s murmuring when he comes back into focus, “As soon as I see you baby, I’m going to get my hands all over you just like you deserve,” he promises, filthy and low in his ear, “Gonna have you coming so much you’ll be satisfied for days.”  

Aether hums, interested when his brain catches on the first part, still mostly focused on the second half of Dew’s words, “Tomorrow?” he asks, hating the way his voice sounds so hopeful.  

Fuck, it’d been weeks though, since he’d last seen Dew. Since they’d been together. He misses him.  

“Yeah, baby,” Dew murmurs, “Our plane landed a bit ago, we’re at a hotel for the night, but Copia’s got a car coming to get us in the morning. We’ll be home before you know it.”  

Aether makes another noise, something choked, “Oh,” he says, looks down at the paper on the desk in front of him, half-finished inventory reports, “I’ve got to—”  

“Whatever it is, it can wait,” Dew says firmly, “You’ve got tomorrow off and maybe the day after, Copia’s feeling a bit benevolent,” he says that with a bit of a grin in his voice, “Inventory will be fine for a couple of days, besides, Copia said he’d work on whatever you didn’t finish, just leave it where you’ve got it and he’ll take over. No arguing with me, alright?”  

And well, Aether can’t argue, because he’s feeling a bit selfish, a bit like he wants to shirk his duties for a few days so he can spend time with Dew instead, something warm settling in the pit of his stomach. “Okay,” he settles on, feels the weight lifted off of his shoulders at the word as he leans back in the chair, making it squeak a bit under his weight.  

“Good boy,” Dew says sweetly, “Now, listen, I want you to hang up the phone and go get cleaned up, settle in our bed and before you know it, I’ll be there, waking you up with a kiss.”  

Aether thinks about his nest, the one he’d been working on since Dew had left, how it still smells like the two of them and how much he wants to be there now, “Okay, yeah,” he says, “I can do that.” He swallows, bites his lip, “I love you, Dew.”  

Dew hums softly, “I love you too, big guy, I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early.”  

When he hangs up the phone, it’s with warm feelings, and as he levers himself up out of the chair, he feels like he’s floating.  

He grabs his phone, scrolling through the few notifications that he has, there’s a couple of text messages that he’s not too concerned with answering tonight, another text from Dew that’s just a heart emoji and then a singular calendar notification.  

Aether raises an eyebrow but thinks nothing of it at first, locks up the office and deposits the key in the safe box for another staff member to find before he heads up from the infirmary and to his and Dew’s bedroom.  

Once he’s showered and settled into bed, wearing only his underwear and a thin t-shirt that used to be Dew’s at one point and is entirely too short on Aether and stretched out the from the number of times he’s squeezed into it, he picks his phone up again.  

Taps the calendar notification and blinks at the entry that had been added recently.  

Mandatory Leave 10.26 - 11.3 – Accepted by F. Imperator  

There’s a text, one that had come in while he was in the shower, from Copia this time.  

Dew may be a little grumpy in the morning, our car arrives in three hours to pick us up, we’ll be back before your heat starts. The others have stocked your room while you were working and I’ve taken the opportunity to clear your schedule for the next week just in case. Let me know if there’s anything you need <3  

He feels a surge of affection, sends back a heart in response and takes a moment to take stock of himself, feels the low simmer of something that had been bothering him for a while, something gnawing at him the entire time he’d been without Dew—and he didn’t think that it was heat, thought it was just something happening because Dew had been away for so long. His mind races a bit, wonders why his heat had decided to show now of all times—  

His phone buzzes again, a text from Dew.  

Go to sleep, Aeth. I can feel you thinking from all the way out here. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.  

He huffs quietly, sends back a fuck you and a heart a moment later, almost immediately, another text comes through.  

Of course, big boy, anything you need. I’ll even let you knot me if you want <3  

[alwaysshallow]

love the idea of high ranked readers kid just being the most chill fucking kid in the world— but only when ghost is holding them. like they just see this behemoth of a man with a skull mask and decide: yes. this is my person now and if anyone tries to remove me i will scream

just them gently patting ghosts face, curious about the mask and just spending majority of their time with their head laid on his shoulder, slowly drifting off to the voices around them and jerking wide awake whenever someone tries to remove them and just scowling at said person while gripping ghosts clothes in their tiny fists to show their displeasure and then slowly drifting off again only for this to repeat

(i am fucking obessed with this and have zero regrets)

You stare at your kid, happily tugging Simon’s shirt, and you can’t believe your own eyes and ears how chill she is.

Earlier? A crying mess, you thought you’re gonna burst into tears too, if she’s not gonna stop with the fuss that felt like her kind of revenge for taking her to work, instead of daycare, like always. You were singing lullabies for her, reading, but nothing seemed to work, and you wanted to hit your head against the wall, you even considered taking a day off, just to be with your daughter.

Yet, the sight of Simon Riley in the mask, coming right to you, seemed to soothe her more than anything - she suddenly got interested, and when he took her for a moment, she decided to stay there.

Your own kid, being a traitor. But could you blame her? Not really, not when she is lying comfortably on his chest, her little fists playing with the material of his shirt. Not when she seems to be the most comfortable around a man with a mask.

Ghost, a myth that scared the most brave soldiers, and when they saw his mask around, they knew their time was limited. Ghost, a legend, someone who was described as a soldier totally devoted to his work, no matter how many people he had to kill, no matter how many months he would have to spend on a single mission.

And Ghost, a babysitter for your daughter, apparently.

“She seems comfortable,” you laugh silently, praying that your voice isn’t gonna interrupt her sleep; it would be good to put her into a stroller, you don’t want to take advantage of Simon’s kindness. “Is it okay with you? I put you into—”

“—’s okay,” he interrupts you, locking his gaze with yours. His intense, brown eyes, makes you a bit shy in this scenario, especially when he looks so good with your kid; you wouldn’t accuse him of that earlier. Of being so good. “At least she’s sleepin’, yeah? Safe and sound.”

“Safe and sound,” you repeat, smiling softly, as you take a few steps into their direction. Lieutenant automatically stands up, slowly, his big hand on your daughter’s back, and you just can’t help yourself from sighing.

It’s like a dream.

“You good, colonel?” he asks, and you barely hold back your laugh.

“That obvious I’m not? Just taking in the view,” you reply, maybe a bit too sincere, but you don’t really care about that. Not when he looks so adorable with your daughter.

“That so,” he hums, and after a few seconds, you are so close - chest to chest close, with your kid between you two. Only barrier; or maybe a connection, binding you two. “Should probably give her to you, eh?”

“Would be nice, yes. You can’t hold her the whole eternity,” you whisper, clearing your throat, when he slowly leans in.

“Well,” he starts, his head tilting to the side, his lips next to your ear. “For you? For you, I’d be more than pleased to do that.”

You want to say something about his words, you want to confess somehow too, but your baby girl starts crying the moment Simon hangs her to you.

A reminder; that he’s not yours, and you’re not his.

“Guess she’s stayin’ with me,” Ghost smirks under his balaclava, when she stops crying.

“She always liked everyone better than me.” You roll your eyes, shaking your head with amusement. “Can you stay here for a couple of minutes, then? I need to go to Price for a second.”

“Right.” He nods. He, then, calls your name. “Don’t think we’re done with the conversation, okay? We can continue later on.”

You just gulp, smiling politely.

It's gonna be a long conversation, then.

[writingmeraki]

ribs — a rafe cameron series.

i. and the ocean is still the same. disgustingly blue and terrifyingly deep.

❝ In which your cousin thought it was a great idea to basically deceive you and here you are, spending one month at Outer Banks. Perhaps, meeting new people could interest you more into the 'beach' lifestyle? Well then, only one way to find out.

pairing : richboy!rafe cameron x tourist/newbie!gn!reader, brief one-sided enemies to acquaintances to friends to lovers. genre : fluff, humour, angst, romance, friendship, coming of age, realisations and epiphanies, contemplations and questioning, summer seasonnn!! also ft. rest of the obx characters and ocs too! chapter warnings : cussing, nothing alarming in particular but lmk if i missed anything! not proofread. series inspo : ribs by lorde. | series playlist : here

w.c : 4.2k | NEXT

“Are you being serious right now?!” 

You turned to look at your cousin as you stepped out of the car, immediately regretting it the moment your feet dug deep into the hot sand. Hissing in annoyance at the feeling of sand between your toes, you glared at your now sheepish yet delighted cousin. 

 Joshua or as you preferred to call him Josh and sometimes Joshie, just to spite the hell out of him, rolled his eyes at your dramatic antics. 

“Oh come on, we got this one chance to spend a vacation finally out of our damned hometown, of course it should be a beachy one!”

“I’ll show you who the real bit-”

“Please, try to think of it!”

Sighing out, you shut the car door and leaned on it. The sun was blistering hot as you looked ahead. Goddamnit. You knew you should not have tried to get some shut eye in the car. Perhaps if you stayed awake then you’d know you were in fact, not heading towards the chilly mountains as you’d have thought you were and then you would have disagreed with Joshie and went by your own. 

But no, he just had to be the only person you happened to be great friends with throughout your life that stuck to you like he was somehow etched to your side by fate since you could speak.

Hearing movement, you saw him come and stand beside you, looking at you with that look. The one that would always manage to get something out of you exactly how he’d want.

“Come on! This is like the only summer ever that we’re getting this chance. Do you really want to spend summer,  a season meant for sunny beaches and the vibrant ocean, in the mountains?”

Scoffing at him, you clicked your tongue and spoke in a sharp tone, “You know damn well, how much I hate the beach! The ocean in itself! It’s all so…so cliche and honestly a little terrifying, the ocean is scary.” 

If someone else would have heard you, they would have probably mocked you, but Josh was the one who knew you, he knew everything and yet he went ahead and did this.

“Okay how about this, we make a deal?” You raised your eyebrows at him in question, wondering what sort of ideas must be running behind his cunning doe eyes. Doe eyes that seemed to always somehow make you do as he pleased if he just as much flashed them at you widely.

“One month here, in Kildare and the rest wherever you want, okay? Besides, I already rented us a villa with half of our allowance as deposit and uh…yeah it’d be a waste.” 

Face palming yourself, a groan slipped past your lips as you rubbed the bridge of your nose, “You-how-wow just wow. I am not sure whether to be even more pissed or honestly slightly impressed you planned this out so well.”

Looking up, you looked back at the view that raised up more emotions, falling more to the negative side than anything, and thought about it. 

It had been a while since you smelt that familiar signature aquatic scent, since you saw just how truly blue water could be, just how much the sand always seemed to find itself into each nook of your feet, making it impossible to remove it. 

It had been a while since…since everything.

Maybe this was another chance. 

“Fine. One month. I’m counting and by the end, we’re out.”

[ A few moments later ]

The villa turned out to be nothing like you’d expected.

In a way, it was way beyond your zero expectations and if you had any, it was also above that. Other than the fact it was nearer to the ocean than you’d have preferred, it was simply heaven on Earth. 

“You can take the bigger bedroom.”

“Yeah you don’t need to tell me that.”

Josh scoffed at you but smiled when he saw you looking around in amazement. He was glad you agreed more quickly to this than he thought you would have. He was worried you would have gone back home instead of even thinking of going somewhere else. 

Then again, you would have likely gone even here than be stuck in the summer back there.

“Are you sure this was like what, only half the money we have?” You touched the antique vase that laid in the middle of your bedroom hallway. It was a mix of indigo blue and white that made it look like those fancy artworks you’d seen in expensive stores.

“Yeah it was! But also, this is sort of a friend’s too.”

“You have friends? Well other than me of course.”

“I do and also fuck you.”

Grinning in victory, you tugged your luggage to the front of your new temporary bedroom.

“Well, I am sorry “Mr.I can’t socialize for the life of me” I didn’t exactly think you’d have such friends, not ones who owned such villas at least.”

“Technically, it’s not hers but her father’s. She sort of hooked me up with the discounted rent.” 

Opening the door to your bedroom, you wondered if your jaw could drop any lower as your eyes took in the closest you’d ever get to living in an actual bedroom straight out of a magazine room in front of you. Oh wait, you were going to live in this! Only for a month, but it counted!

The large bed in the middle had the prettiest shade of blue sheets, with the same on the curtains that covered a large window which looked out into the sea. There were even those cool sitting arrangements in the far left before the window, with the two white sofa chairs and marble table between with a golden showpiece on top. You thought those only existed in rich people’s life but this seemed like your life for once. 

“Her?” Your brain snapped back to your cousin’s voice as you threw your luggage, a little carelessly to the side, and turned towards him.

He looked at you weirdly as he stood at your door, and raised an eyebrow in question at your tone.

“Yeah ‘her’, her as in Sarah, Sarah Cameron.” You still looked at him skeptically and asked,

“Well this Sarah…she’s real right?” Your voice carried mockery and you tried not to laugh. Even more so at the offended look on his face.

“Yes! She’s real, I- I can’t believe you’d think I’m making someone up-”

“My bad dude, your rep isn’t exactly again, the socializing kind let alone the romantic kind-”

“Sarah is just a friend!”

Raising your hands in defense, you gave up, “Jeez alright, alright!” 

He didn’t believe your words, he knew you and knew you were still doubting him.

“And I know your ass still doesn’t believe me but tonight you can meet her, there’s this bonfire party thing by the beach she told me that’s like a basic norm here, she invited me.”

“Great, have fun then.”

“And you as well.”

Your attention had gone back to your suitcase as you laid it down and opened it to find clothes that would help you rot away for the rest of the day because you were already drained, but upon hearing Josh’s last words, your head snapped towards him again.

“Me? Oh, oh no no no, I can’t- I don’t have the energy to function let alone socialize like a proper human being for today.” 

It was serious for you, with the whole fiasco of finding out your entire trip was a sabotage to the way the smell of the sea didn’t seem to comfort you but make you want to throw up every few moments with the thoughts you were having, it was draining. 

“Listen, we’re staying here for practically a month, if we familiarize ourselves, at least we can make the best of it from people who live here!” 

Deadpanning him, you went through the options in your head. In the end even though it was beginning to feel like this trip was more fun for your cousin than you, you reluctantly agreed. 

“I didn’t even pack suitable clothing for this type of place, see this is why you should have just told me beforehand!” Resorting to arranging your clothes, you retorted in annoyance when you thought of how all you had were clothes meant for cold weather and barely anything loose meant for such places. 

“I’ll ask Sarah to lend you some after we meet her?”

“And are you sure this ‘friend’ of yours will agree?”

“She will, she’s pretty sweet you know, give her a chance.”

Eyeing the look he had on his face when he talked about his ‘friend’, you realized there was definitely more to it than he said, but you wouldn’t intrude more than needed.

Finally, you found some suitable-ish attire for the night, it was still a bit on the warmer side but you figured you’d just avoid going in the general area of the bonfire so as to not end up overheating. 

“Fine, we’ll see.”

[ time skip to the night ]

It was not like you had any expectations but certainly it wasn’t this. 

This bonfire party was more lively than you thought, everyone chatting around, drinking concerning levels of alcohol and overall having probably the greatest time that would become a core memory for their future selves. 

You on the other hand?

The moment you saw where it was situated, you just stayed just at the back, not even wanting to go near the fire nor the sea. 

However, at night, you will admit the sea looked different. The moonlight reflecting on parts of it made it seem like a black sky full of twinkling stars. It felt less…less scary to think of it like that. But you know it was an endless void that could quite literally suck you up, never to be found again. 

“Come on,there she is!” Josh waved over someone and your attention turned to her. 

Your jaw slightly dropped but you kept it cool even though you definitely had a look of disbelief.

Her blonde hair flowed freely from the slight breeze that passed by, and her eyes seemed to spark from the reflection of the fire. Her face itself seemed lit up and you could tell, it was just how she probably was. A bright person. She was simply put in one word,beautiful. 

“Since when the fuck did you have such pretty friends and why do I not know about it-”

“Shut up.”

You were whispering to Josh as you continued to look at her, her smile also seeming to put you in a trance. She finally stood in front of you, you noticed she was shorter than you both. 

“Hey! You made it!” You already knew her name, Sarah said enthusiastically as her eyes darted between you both. 

“We just came a while ago, and oh also-, Sarah this is my cousin Y/N, the one I told you about and Y/N, this is Sarah.”

You did not know what to say so you just muttered out, “Nice to meet you.” and awkwardly smiled with a small wave of your hand.

A wave?? Who the fuck waves???

Internally, you hated how your social side basically had decided to ditch you. Normally, you would be able to make conversation easily but it seemed that it malfunctioned when you were surrounded by pretty people.

Josh snorted at your behavior and raised an eyebrow at you while Sarah’s smile seemed to have gotten impossibly wider. You swore your heart skipped a beat. 

 “Nice to meet you too! Joshua’s told me a lot about you!” 

“Good things I’m assuming.” You finally spoke normally, your voice finding its way back to your mouth.

She laughed at that, and you really wondered if you could be almost smitten by someone in the first few minutes of meeting them but you felt a small smile tug up your lips. 

“My friends are just around here and also feel free to have anything! In fact, some of my friends are helping out with the drinks and stuff, I’ll take you there.” 

Before you could even give an answer she turned around and began to walk towards the main area. Joshua began to follow the same but you stayed glued to your spot, your gaze shifting to the bigger background. It wasn’t like you could avoid it forever anyway.

You nodded at him to continue as you slowly began to follow. 

Turns out, pretty people came along with even more pretty people. They were like a package it seemed. Because the rest of Sarah’s friends were on that scale. 

There was John B with his messy hair, sun-tanned skin and freckles that was the definition of the typical island boy. Then there was Kiara, who was just as pretty with her warm gaze and smile, her curls seeming to have a direction of their own as they moved around her face from the breeze. Then Pope, whose eyes seemed to scrutinize you and a jawline you could probably cut your finger on and the fact that he was smart too? Cherry on top. 

JJ Maybank. He was something alright. His demeanor in itself was laid back but he was just as mesmerizing. His blue eyes seemed bluer than the sky in the day and just as bright as the ocean at the same time. He made you even more nervous than you thought you could get. And he was just as charming, slipping in compliments that made your face even warmer than the alcohol was making you feel.

It seemed this island was where all unrealistically attractive people stayed. 

But all the socializing that you’d done was making you even more tired, plus the unhealthy amount of ‘punch’ you’d downed along with beer did not help. Your senses appeared to have heightened and everything was overwhelming, your tolerance for being close to the one thing you despised thinning. 

“I-I’m just gonna go there for sometime, I-i need to breathe a bit.” You pointed to Josh as you poked his side to a place you could that was further from the sea but had rocks you could sit on. It was a good distance. 

“You alright?” Another voice came from your side and you’d forgotten how JJ was sitting to your right. You nodded at him as you stood up.

“‘M good. Just- just need some air.” His blue eyes shone with concern. Even if he’d only met you a while ago, it was like you’d taken his attention from then. He couldn’t quite figure out why but hey maybe he’d find out eventually. 

He decided not to follow you, so as to not overstep any boundaries considering you’d just met. The rest of the group were talking around, while Joshua also nodded at you in understanding when you glanced at him.

Stepping away, you stretched your body a bit, not realizing you’d been sitting around for so long in the same place and just talking. It was indeed true that time passed by when you were lost in fun. 

As you walked away, you noticed a figure sitting there already, wondering how you didn’t see them before but probably due to the darkness and the distance, they weren’t visible. You paused in your steps, contemplating if it was a good idea to go there when it is clearly pre-occupied. 

In the end, you just shrugged and continued your way, figuring there was enough space for another. 

The sound of sand crunching beneath feet snapped Rafe out of his daze as it shifted from the scene in front of him to where the sound came from. 

You froze when his eyes landed on you. 

From the way the moonlight shone, he wasn’t very visible but it was enough to give you a glimpse of the person in front of you. And if you thought you couldn’t be more surprised at how attractive everyone around here seemed to be, well you were proven wrong.

He had a surreal beauty, with piercing eyes that seemed to captivate you. His hair fell effortlessly and just like the others, the breeze seemed to tousle it around and framed his face in a way that was both perfectly tousled and impossibly neat with strands framing his forehead.  His features were sculpted with an almost ethereal precision, being highlighted by the moonlight : high cheekbones, a strong, straight nose, and a jawline that looked like it was carved from marble. He was the kind of pretty that didn’t quite seem real, as if he’d stepped out of a painting.

Yet what interested you most was the emotions that shone in his eyes. He appeared to be more annoyed than surprised along with another one you couldn’t quite understand and you really wished you didn’t assume it was right to come there. 

“Uh…can I like, sit here, if you don’t mind…?” Asking it felt sort of stupid, wondering if you were really going to go ahead and annoy this pretty guy even more. And even though his face didn’t twist in anyway, his eyes told everything as if they couldn’t hide his true emotions. 

He contemplated. For one, he came to that place to distance himself from others, making sure to choose a spot no one would easily find him at because it was as though everyone just wanted his attention, his presence everywhere and it got too much. 

Then again, another part of him was curious. He didn’t think he’d ever seen you anywhere. And Rafe Cameron, for all of him, didn’t like not knowing. 

Nodding, he turned his head back to the scene in front of him as he folded his arms above his propped knees. You seemed skeptical, but again, just followed your instinct and thought what harm could possibly be done anyway. You just hoped he didn’t turn out to be some serial killer. Otherwise it was probably okay. 

Sitting with a good distance from him, you looked in front of you. It was a nice scene, the night ocean really did seem more…better. In the day, it was disgustingly blue and all the more made you truly think about how deep it was. Then your eyes wandered a bit to the boy beside you, his body language intriguing you, more specifically his gaze that made him seem blanked out.

“You look like you’re more miserable than I am, right now.” Sometimes, the filter you had on your mouth momentarily disappeared even more so when you’ve had a little more to consume than you can handle. 

Rafe’s attention shifted to you fully, even though he was paying attention to you from the corner of his eye. He frowned a bit at your words, brows in creasing as well. You thought about the hell someone could do that and still manage to look attractive. 

Scoffing as he registered your words, he muttered under his breath, “Of course, another annoyance.”

“Hey! I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything, ‘just-just trying to make small talk or something.”

“Well I don’t want small talk, I didn’t come here for that.”

His tone and words shut you right up. You blinked at him in disbelief, but realizing what exactly did you expect from a stranger, plus your words were very…something. His attention on you made you even more nervous, feeling warm even more than the alcohol and clothes made you feel. 

“...my bad. I didn’t mean to say that.” You apologized and looked away, deciding if he didn’t want to be bothered, you would not even look at his way. You turned around, away from him creating further a distance and now faced completely away.  

It was silly to feel hurt but then again, your usual emotions were completely botched by the liquor in your bloodstream. You would punch yourself in the morning when you realize the level of idiocy you had the previous night. 

It was idiotic of him to feel a tinge of guilt as he heard your words. For fuck’s sake he didn’t even know you, he wasn’t the sort to feel sorry for people he knew let alone a damn stranger. 

Sighing out, he spoke a little loudly over the sound of waves to make sure you’d hear, “I-well yeah I do feel miserable, you’re right about that.” 

His voice was clear, considering you weren’t too far. You thought over if you should even reply to him after his…rudeness but hey, what’s another possible bad decision added to the already questionable ones?

Looking at him, you scoffed, “I think that’s obvious.” 

The way you said it, almost made him feel less miserable than he was, his lip twitching as he turned his eyes from you. 

“Sooo…fight with your girlfriend?” You wanted to throw yourself in the ocean…you just met the guy and you’re already asking personal questions as if you were friends. This is why you need to talk with people more and improve your people-talking skills. You failed to notice the guy next to you looking at you in amusement as he finally let himself smile for a brief second.

Wincing, you choked out, “Yeah no. Uhm you-you don’t have to answer, I don’t know why I asked that, sorry I tend to not know what to say and when to say and just yeah I’ll uh- I’ll shut up now.”

When you suddenly heard the sound of a chuckle, your eyes widened when your gaze met the sight of where it came from, Rafe just shook his head and spoke with amusement, “I can tell you aren’t much of talker.”

You couldn’t even look offended when he said that because you knew it was right so you just shrugged and agreed, “I think now this is more obvious.”

When you heard him laugh a little at that, you couldn’t stop your own smile and the way your cheeks seemed to warm up. You were unsure if it was from what was in your system or was it him. You hoped it was the former because for everyone’s sake, you did not want to even go near what would imply otherwise.

“I’m Y/N.” Randomly saying it was awkward but it made you realize you didn't even know his name. So throwing out yours like this was the only way you hoped would get him to say his.

“Rafe, Rafe…Cameron.” You turned your head in knowing towards him, the name familiar to you.

“Wait Cameron as in Sarah Cameron right? Is she related to you? You couldn’t quite make out his expression but it was as if a thought hit him and it instantly fell down. Of course, you’d somehow know his sister.

“Yeah, she’s my sister…unfortunately.” The last word was more of a mumble and you couldn’t hear it but upon knowing she was his sister, you raised your eyebrows in wonder.

They definitely did look the part of being highly attractive.

“Well it was nice to meet you Rafe, but I think I should call it a night before I eventually embarrass myself even more by passing out here.”

For Rafe, it had been a while since he’d heard someone feel nice to meet him, even though he knew you were a little out of it, he couldn’t help but let the smile on his face fully show.

Maybe he could forget why he came there in the first place for the brief moment, even if he’d have to face it soon enough.

“Are you sure you can handle yourself?”

“Pfft, you don’t know me Rafe, I’m perfectly capable of handling myself-”

With those famous last words, you stumbled as you stood up, nearly falling over because you forgot you have to balance your weight on both legs.

Following a concerned and amused look from him that you chose to ignore, also ignoring the fact that he now stood up and was closer, making you realise just how much taller he actually was compared to you, you cleared your throat as you finally stood straight.

“See, I’m good.” Your smile was wobbly and your eyes even more glossy, which only made you appear more sincere. It should not have affected him the way it did as his gaze met your own. 

And when he was closer than before, you could see the colour of them, bluer than you ever could imagine. Maybe even more than the very ocean you despised, yet somehow you could not manage to find that same distaste with his eyes. They were dreamy. 

Or it was just the beer, definitely the beer. You convinced yourself.

“Night. Rafe. Don’t be…miserable alone out here. You should head home soon.”

You miss the way he shook his head at you as you turned around and began walking back to the group. 

It wasn’t often that there was someone intriguing to catch his attention right from the beginning, so to say the least, Rafe Cameron was more than intrigued. 

And you for the hate of all things marine, could not get his deeper than the ocean blue eyes out of your mind. 

Perhaps, a second meeting would set you right.

a/n : well this is finally out!! i want to start of by saying i have been putting this aside for way too long and i still do feel like this could have been better but again it's an intro, so hopefully it makes sense. and yes reader's hate for the ocean is sorta...self indulgent i suppose. i mean i'm more terrified than disgusted but anyways, i hope you aren't sick of all the ocean/beach/marine etc references ahaha and do let me know if you wanna be tagged for other parts? i'll be uploading them soon as i'm motivated to write for this atm :)

well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

feedback is always appreciated 💌 ! links : main navi ! | obx masterlist | info !

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

request: can you write about her morning in the life where it’s just happy and she’s full of life and bringing chaos to their morning and they are all joking around with each other.

A/N: Hope you like the way I wrote this! If you were thinking something different just send in another request!

Sam and Dean Winchester x sister!reader

The first rays of sunlight barely made it through the cracks in the Bunker’s steel-bladed blinds, but it was more than enough to rouse you from your slumber. To most, the early morning hours would be a time for grogginess, the soft groan of the world slowly waking up. Not for you. You had been awake for hours, despite it only being 7 AM. Which, for most people, was barely even considered "morning," but for you, it was basically lunchtime. You’d already done a couple laps around the Bunker for no reason, rummage through random things in your boredom, and had a concert in the shower.

Your energy was a tornado of chaos, already whipping through the old walls of the Bunker, leaving a trail of disruption in your wake. You didn’t care. It was your version of "me time," and nobody could stop you. Especially not Dean, who, by all indications, was trying to make breakfast now, which you knew would only result in more chaos for him.

Dean, standing over the stove, could already feel the impending chaos. He heard you rummaging through the cabinets and talking to yourself, which was a sure sign that the madness was about to unfold.

"Don't start anything until I'm done with the bacon," Dean called over his shoulder, flipping eggs like a culinary pro, with a concentration that could only be matched by a bomb diffuser.

You leaned in the doorway of the kitchen, grinning way too brightly for someone who had just gotten up at 5 AM for no particular reason. “What’s the magic number for ‘this is too early for chaos,’ Dean?” you asked, your voice dripping with sarcastic sweetness. Dean glanced over at you, shaking his head. “You're way past it.” You grinned wider. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Then, without missing a beat, you skipped over to the counter, tapping your fingers along it rhythmically, setting the beat of your own personal symphony. You couldn't help yourself. Everything felt like a joke waiting to be cracked. You paused just long enough to stare him down with exaggerated seriousness. "I'm basically your live-in caffeine, Dean. Without me, you'd fall asleep standing up and trip over your own feet, and Sam would have to carry you like a baby."

Dean let out a half-laugh, half-sigh, and flipped the bacon onto a plate. "Yeah, yeah. Just... watch out for the stove, it’s hot, alright?" He turned back to his skillet like you weren't about to launch into yet another round of ridiculousness. You flashed him an exaggerated salute. “You got it, boss! I won’t burn myself, I promise!” You declared. And then, like clockwork, the next phase of the storm arrived.

Sam had finished his morning run and was coming back into the Bunker through the main door, wiping the sweat from his brow. Without even thinking, you launched yourself from the counter and darted straight toward him, your arms wide open in a playful attack.

"Sammy!" You shouted in a tone so overly sweet it bordered on mischievous. "Come here, I missed you!"

Sam, not fully expecting the surprise ambush at this hour, had just enough time to raise his arms defensively. You jumped, your legs wrapping around his waist, your arms around his neck as you tried to steady yourself.

"Whoa, easy there," Sam grunted, staggering backward slightly under your sudden weight. "Jeez, you're like a—"

"Ugh! Ew! Ew, you stink!" You complained dramatically, wrinkling your nose and dramatically pulling away. "What is that? It’s like a mixture of old socks, sweaty gym clothes, and regret."

Sam grinned despite your exaggerated reactions. "It’s called 'morning run' scent. Maybe you should try it sometime."

"I don't need that kind of negativity in my life," you shot back, but before you could free yourself, your feet slipped out from under you. In the blink of an eye, you lost your grip on Sam’s back and tumbled to the ground, letting out a small yelp. But Sam was quick, steadying you before you could slam into the floor.

He caught you around the waist and effortlessly eased you down to the floor, ensuring you didn’t hurt yourself, and that you didn’t land on your face. "See? This is why you shouldn’t get out of bed until at least 7am," Sam said with a teasing smirk.

You took a deep breath and rolled your eyes. "Okay, first of all, I am very graceful. Second, I had it all under control—until I didn’t. But it was mostly your fault for being so stinky."

Dean turned around just in time to witness your spill, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he tossed you a mocking thumbs up. "Nice save, Sammy. You really know how to handle your little sister."

You stuck your tongue out at him while Sam ruffled your hair.

"Hey, she’s your sister too and if we’re being honest, she’s more like you than she’s like me."

Dean’s eyes widened as he mock-scowled. “Oh, hell no.” He wagged a finger at Sam. “You can’t throw that on me. That’s not fair. You two are always conspiring together, teaming up on me.” He turned back toward you, his smirk widening. “See? You’ve already got him wrapped around your little finger.”

You tilted your head and flashed a wicked grin. “Well, I’m a lot of things, Dean. But mostly I’m a work of art.”

Sam laughed, nudging Dean. "Tell me again how she’s more like you? She’s practically a mini-you already. The sarcasm, the chaos, the unpredictability—it’s all Dean Winchester in a much smaller package." He looked at you and chuckled.

Dean threw a playful punch at Sam’s shoulder, but his eyes were narrowed, clearly trying to play the ‘big brother’ role. “Don’t tease her. I’m warning you.”

You leaned dramatically against the doorframe, crossing your arms. “Pfft. Tease me? I’m too smart for that. I’m basically un-teasable.”

Sam’s grin widened as he leaned against the counter. “Man, you two are impossible. Every time I think you can’t get worse, you prove me wrong.”

“I’m like a surprise gift that just keeps on giving,” you said, tapping your finger to your temple. “You two better buckle up, because I’m about to give you the facts.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I can already feel my sanity slipping.”

You took a dramatic step toward the kitchen, striking a pose like you were about to give a speech. “I’m basically your moral compass. Let’s be real, without me, you two would just be a couple of grumpy old men in a bunker, drinking whiskey and complaining about the world.”

Sam let out a deep laugh. “Okay, okay, maybe you’re not completely wrong. But just remember that this ‘moral compass’ of yours has a habit of getting us in more trouble than it’s worth.”

Dean, clearly trying to stay composed, muttered under his breath, “You’re both gonna drive me to drink... before breakfast.”

You threw your arms wide, laughing. “Hey, at least I know how to make things interesting!”

Sam and Dean exchanged a quick glance, the kind of look that said they’d survived this madness before and would do so again. But neither of them could suppress the smiles tugging at their lips. As much as you were pure, unfiltered chaos, you were also exactly what they needed to make life a little less predictable—and a lot more entertaining.

[omeumi]

sum: gn! reader skipped dinner, alhaitham shenanigans ensue.

a/n: i had testing today and its my mother's birthday lol. im posting from a salon lobby..

content: discussions of eating and skipping meals ( ! non ed related.) usage of askım, turkish equivalent of my love, because i hate ""y/n."" ♡

> it's not your fault you didn't have dinner before bed. or, it is, but that's neither here nor there. Alhaitham had gotten home late, and it slipped your mind between the pages of a book and the sun dipping below the horizon.

> after passing out on the sofa in a failed attempt to wait up for him, Alhaitham had found you that way—sleeping soundly, sunken into the divan cushions, lamp still on. his expression softens, watching you there. at peace, the both of you. so he carries you to bed, holding you kindly in his arms, and tucking you away before he prepares for bed himself.

> and now, a couple hours later, it's him who sleeps soundly instead, as he deserves to. out like a mossed log. but you're now wide awake, turning over in bed, simply starved.

> Alhaitham is quite possibly the heaviest sleeper known to man and Archon, but that doesn't stop you from being careful. stirring the sheets minimally, tiptoeing away from your love who is completely still. you linger in the doorway, eyeing him in his peaceful, effortless beauty, before wandering off to the kitchen.

> flipping a lamp on, you grab a peach from the fruit bowl. quick and easy enough. with a knife, you cut around the pit and separate it into halves. its scent floods the room, swirling like a morning fog. you take a bite from your peach, and it parts easily—soft and pleasant and sweet.

> "aşkım?" you jump at the sound of Alhaitham's voice, thick with soothing sleep. as if akin to a cat, you cannot ever hear his light, lithe footsteps. you turn. his eyes are soft, hair tousled.

"you scared me—"

> "I noticed." in the fuzzy light, you watch him approach, ever silently. "what are you doing up now?" behind you, he wraps his arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder.

> "I didn't have dinner," you confess, and feel him eye you more intently, pressing for information. Alhaitham frowns.

"why not?"

> you shrug, before biting into a half of peach. "I was distracted.."

"by what?"

> you set the bitten half back on the plate, gaze focused there. the white ceramic, the risen patterns around its edges. the golden drops of juice in the center. you don't want him to feel bad. guilty. these things happen—time ticking by when you're both swallowed by work and responsibility.

> "you were waiting for me," he says. realizes. you nod before he sighs unmistakably, soft against the skin of your neck. it is not annoyance, not frustration, not disappointment. not disappointment in you, anyway. maybe in himself. he gives you a lingering, regretful kiss on your cheek. "i am sorry.." the syllables reside on his lips, drawing on long. it's simple, but you've never seen Alhaitham so close to not being able to find his words.

> "i was," you say, looking up at him. his sleepy, resting face—eyebrows furrowed ever-so in that adorable concern for you. "but you're here now. we're together. i'm eating." you lean in and capture his parted lips in a kiss, clumsy and tasting of peach. you pull back and he blinks, a smile curving slightly.

> "can i have a bite?"

©2023 arborio  do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[ice-eise-babyy]

Pure | JB.B - Drabble

Pairing: 40's!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader (ft. Pre-serum!Steve Rogers)

Summary: a very drunk bucky who refuses to leave the pub with a 'crazy lady' a.k.a his girlfriend.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol but other than that, its mainly just fluff guys

A/N: I dont even know if this is any good but i hope you guys enjoy it <33

You would be lying if you said you didn't want to hurl something—anything— at Steve's head right at this moment. It's almost 10:00 p.m and instead of being in bed drifting off to sleep, you were currently out in the streets of Brooklyn on the way to a pub, who wouldn't want to hurl someone in the head with something?

"I'm really sorry y/n. I really wouldn't have woken you up if—" Steve's 20th apology this night was shortly cut of as you gave him a sideward glare. You felt slightly guilty after doing so, knowing that you were pinning this on him even though you were partially at fault.

If you had agreed to Bucky early this morning then you probably wouldn't be awake at this unforsaken hour. You probably wouldn't have Steve throwing rocks at your window to wake you up, and you probably wouldn't be walking to a pub to pick up your boyfriend who apparently refused to leave because he wanted to see you. You sighed, recollecting the conversation you had with him earlier today.

—

"But y/n..." you rolled your eyes at his dramatic whining. "Bucky, you're just going to spend the day with Steve. It's not the end of the world." You had been convincing him to spend more time with steve for almost a week now mainly because he has been spending most of his time with you, even sleeping at your apartment. The reason being he had to leave for wisconsin in 2 days because of military training.

As much as you want to grab bucky's face in your hands and look him in the eye while saying 'i also want to spend the day with you' and have him to yourself, you knew that if you do that you would be selfish. You knew that he might end up regretting not spending more time with Steve before leaving, he just probably haven't realized that yet.

"Can you atleast come with us, doll?"

"No, Bucky. absolutely not. if i come with you, you'd probably ignore Steve the whole time."

—

You smoothed out your Navy colored dress before shoving your white gloves deep in the pocket of your coat. You slowly walked in when Steve opened the door of the pub entrance for you. There weren't much people, mostly just soldiers who came back from war or just men in general. Your eyes darted around the place and a sigh of relief fell from your lips as your eyes landed on Bucky. He was sitting on one of the stools with only his side facing you, his forehead pressed on the bar counter as he looked down at his hands that were resting on his lap, he was humming a familiar song as he did so. He was looking at his hands like it was the most interesting thing to ever exist. His eyes wide and his lips pursed. You felt a warmth in your chest as you peered at his drunken state for a few beats longer. He was out for only a few hours and to you it also felt like just a few hours but to your heart... to your heart it felt like so long, long enough to have it yearning for him. yearning for his touch, his voice, his love...

You sighed once more as you sat down right beside him. He paid you no attention, eyes still on his hand and still humming the same song. Your lips tugged into a smile as you realized what song he was humming. It was 'when you wish upon a star' by glenn miller. It was the song playing when you had danced with him for the first time.

"Bucky?"

"Go away miss. I have a girlfriend" he was so quick to turn you away, mistaking you for another woman because he haven't looked at you once. This sparked an idea. A funny and harmless one.

"Oh, you do? too bad."

"Yeah, too bad for you— *hic* not for me. I'm happy where i am."

"Really? tell me then, mister. How is she like?"

He still hasn't looked at you. In his head he thought that there was no point in looking at other women because those other woman aren't even you. the only problem was it was you but of course he didn't know that yet. A wide smile adorned his face as he heard your words. Oh boy was he excited to brag about you.

"She is amazing. Words would never ever be enough to describe her beauty. It's unparalleled— *hic* and it's not... not just her face that's beautiful," even though you couldn't see the entirety of his face you didn't fail to notice the dreamy smile tugging in the corner of his lips, "Her soul as well and her smile— oh her smile... it just makes me— *hic* make me warm in here..." his hand pressed on his chest and gripped it like he was trying his best to pull his heart out just to show you where exactly he felt the warmth. "I really really want to marry her but she said that— *hic* i gotta win the war first... Stupid fucking nazi's" his fists clenched as he muttered that last words.

Your bottom lip found its way between your teeth as you tried to hold back your laughter. This was a rare sight to see your boyfriend all dazed while talking about you. Sure he was vocal about how he felt for you. He would always say how much he loves you or how beautiful you are but... you never expected that this is how he would talk about you to other people.

"That's really cute but we really gotta go home y/n. The pub's closing" Steve's voice dripped with sarcasm as he popped up from behind you before walking over to Bucky and patting him by the shoulder.

"Bucky, we gotta get you home.." you said but he just shook his head. he finally looked up but instead of looking at you, his gaze landed on the skinny little man in front of him. "Steve! you gotta help me man. That crazy lady's trying to take me home!" he said with genuine fear and panic in his eyes before standing up and gripping steve by the shoulder, his index finger pointed towards you who was sitting behind Steve. Steve doubled over as he laughed at him and Bucky tilted his head, confused as to why his friend would laugh at such a 'serious' situation.

"Bucky, that's your girlfriend." Steve bursted out laughing again as he saw Bucky's face contorting with a confused expression before looking at you who sat behind Steve. His eyes went wide and his jaw went slack when he realized, It was you!

"my god! it is!" he practically shoved Steve away just to rush over to you and get a clearer view of you. His hands flew to the sides of your face forcing you to looking up at him. he gave you a quick peck on the lips, an ecstatic smile adorning his face as he pulled away. His breath smelled of beer and maraschino cherries. He picked you up and spun you around the moment you stood up.

—

The three of you are now walking back to Steve and Bucky's shared apartment. Bucky's left arm was draped around Steve's shoulder to help himself as he walked sloppily while his other arm was swinging back and forth as he intertwined your fingers together. the way he looked at your hands with such adoration made your heart melt and maybe even made you realize that it is possible to fall inlove with the same person over and over again...

"y/n..."

"Hmm?"

"I may be tipsy with the beer and grenadine, but..." he paused for a moment when he heard you giggle. it was funny to you because 'tipsy' was probably an understatement, "I meant everything I said... I really want to marry you... wait for me til I get back from war... okay?" his voice was small and it sounded so innocent. There were hundreds— maybe even thousands— of words that would be perfect to describe Bucky's love fore you but 'pure' was the most accurate one out of all of them. His love was pure...

"I will, bucky..."

but he never did...

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape - Pt. 2 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, 18+ NSFW (Minors DNI), smut, regret of sexual acts, alcohol consumption, age difference, jealousy, general angst, secrecy, not edited

Word Count: 4.6k+

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Notes: We had some drama in the last part, but things are going to start getting a little unhinged, buckle up! The next part probably won't be up until the beginning of next week. Try to ignore the fact that I can not and never have been able to keep the same tense through a whole story and I am a fan of run on sentences, its simply how my brain works lol. I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Thank you for all of the love thus far! Enjoy!

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One

---

You jolt awake to the feeling of a hand brushing over your forehead. You have absolutely no idea how long you’ve been asleep, curled up in the corner of the couch. It could have been 10 minutes or five hours.

“Sorry, sorry, shhh it’s okay.” A familiar British accent soothes you, his hand still stroking your hair in a comforting manner.

“Lew?” You croak out, your voice much more hoarse than you had expected it to be.

“It’s me sweetie.” His voice stays low and comforting, “Why are you on the couch?”

It takes you a second to blink your eyes open, blurriness clouding your vision. When you finally see him, he looks exhausted, and maybe a little drunk.

“I was worried about you, tried to stay up” You mumble drearily, still not really awake.

“I’m sorry, I’m okay, no need to worry about me.” His large hand comes to rest on your cheek as you start to wake up a bit more.

“Where did you go?” You ask, trying to elbow yourself up on the couch slightly.

He frowns, looking away from you, “Don’t worry about it. How about you get to bed? I’m home now, no need for concern.”

You nod, getting up from the couch and heading towards the hallway where everyone is asleep. You pause for a moment, remembering that Talia has taken over your room. You glance at the clock over the bar, seeing that it’s past three in the morning. You know Charlotte offered for you to sleep with her but you feel bad possibly waking her after she's already been asleep for nearly four hours. You let out a deep sigh, turning back toward Lewis. He’s sitting on the couch where you left him, his legs wide with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands, he looks distressed. He doesn’t seem to even realize that you're still in the room as you make your way over to the bar. You grab two fresh glasses, pouring the both of you a drink. His head snaps up as he hears the liquid pouring. You carefully make your way over to him, wordlessly offering him one of the glasses before you take a seat next to him.

“You should really go to bed Y/N.” He says without much meaning, taking a sip of the fresh Gin and Tonic, leaning back into the couch.

“Talk to me.” You say, ignoring his comment, curling yourself up into the couch. Your knees are to your chest as you face him, his arm coming up over the back of the couch, just barely above you.

“What do you even want me to say?” He laughs almost cynically.

“Where did you go tonight?” You ask against your better judgment. You’ve known Lewis long enough to know that when he says he doesn't want to talk about something, he truly doesn't, but your curiosity is getting the best of you.

He lets out a long sigh, leaning forward to set his drink down on the coffee table before looking toward you.

“I really don’t think you want to know Y/N.” He says, quickly lowering his eyes so he doesn't have to meet your eye contact.

“What do you mean?” You pry, placing your own glass on the table.

“I’ve been to this island quite a few times, I’ve gotten to know the good spots.” He starts, leaning forward to take a big sip out of his glass like he needs it to carry on with the story, “There’s this bar, maybe a mile away, it’s almost always open. I went there, just wanted a drink, alone, to cool down a bit. But… in all honesty, I just came from the hostesses apartment.”

“Oh.” You’re not quite sure how to respond.

“I know, it’s stupid, but I just needed to blow off some steam I guess.” He shrugs as if it’s nothing out of the ordinary, however the look on his face is one of pure shame, he still won’t look at you.

“I mean, you’re a single adult, it doesn’t really matter I guess.” You try to sound confident however your voice wavers, unsure of how to properly navigate the situation.

“No Y/N, I might be but… the situation I left behind, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to anyone.” He lets out another deep sigh before continuing, “I really fucked up, and I think I fucked up with someone I really care about.”

This takes you by complete surprise, never would you have pegged Talia as someone Lewis would truly care about. You’ve always thought he was a decent judge of character when it comes to everyone but his play things. You really couldn’t imagine them as a true couple, they barely seemed to have anything in common. You felt a small pit form in your stomach, realizing that if he wanted to make things work with her, she would be around a whole lot more often. You couldn’t help but feel like that would be the demise of your friendship with Lewis, you doubt she would want you around after she made her feelings on you very clear.

You take a large swig of your drink, downing half of it in one sip, hoping to push away the ache that is starting to form in your chest. You don’t want to imagine a world without your friends, without Lewis, in your life. Despite having a million questions for him, you don’t push, not really in the mood to hear him confess his feelings for the woman you despise. He seems to be in a similar boat, acting to change the subject quickly.

“Where did you learn to make such a good drink, huh?” His voice is lighter now, almost teasing. You can tell he’s attempting to diffuse the conversation.

“I’m almost positive I’ve told you this before, but I used to be a bartender. It was my job in college.” You tell him, settling into the couch, just enjoying your uninterrupted time with him, “Besides, its a gin and tonic, it would be pretty sad if someone fucked that up.”

His laugh was tired but still held the boyish charm it always does, “Oh trust me, Miles can fuck up a gin and tonic. I’ve experienced it.” He looks at you with a smirk before continuing, “And no you’ve never told me that, because I’m certain if you had, that I would have told you that I too used to be a bartender.”

“Oh really?” You raise an eyebrow at him, wanting to hear more. You’ve only ever known of him as a racer, never even thinking of the possibility he did other things while getting to where he is now.

“Yup, back when I was like eighteen,” He nods, taking another sip of his drink, “my last day I got absolutely hammered though. I made myself try everything I’d been serving.”

You giggle, picturing a hammered teenage Lewis, “I should have thought of that on my last day. All I did was throw my apron at my manager and tell him to ‘go to hell’.”

“Ah, yes, a fantastic way to leave a job. I’m sure you got lot’s of good references from that one.” He teases you.

“Hey, he was a sexist pig, I don’t need references from someone like that.” You defend yourself.

“I’m sure you had plenty of good reasons, you always do.” He assures.

“Tell me more about you as a youngster. I only know grown adult Lew, I don’t know much about teenage Lew.” You prompt him, settling further into the couch, ready for a story.

He does the same, relaxing himself so his arm hangs just around your shoulders, pulling you into him slightly, “You know plenty about me as a kid.” He furrows his brow.

“Well I know the stuff that everybody else knows, I know the karting career, the underdog story, but I also thought I knew plenty about adult you before we met. I was very wrong about that though.” You laugh a little.

“Okay, fair. Well I was a royal pain in the ass when I first got to f1, my ego was sky high. It didn’t take long for me to settle down, thankfully, but I’ve definitely grown a lot since then.” He starts, glancing at you to gauge your reaction.

You hum, urging him to continue. He tells you about his old partying habits, random fights he’d been in during his school days, how rivalries played out off track. He tells you about the Lewis you watched on the television for so many years, and you find it quite fascinating. You try so hard to keep listening, humming every once in a while to let him know that you're still there. You could listen to him talk for hours, his voice so soothing and peaceful. You try to fight your sleep, but it's useless, his voice lulls you into a peaceful slumber. You cuddle further into his arm as he tightens his hold on you, your head lands on his shoulder and you feel him rest his cheek against you, his own exhaustion taking over. The warmth of his body is so grounding and you can’t help but wish you could stay there, tucked against him, forever.

. . .

“Well it’s nice to see you’re alive.” You’re woken to the sound of Charlotte's voice in the kitchen. You’re alone on the couch, a blanket draped over you.

“It’s not like I disappeared for a week or something, I was gone for a couple hours. I’m fine Char.” You hear Lewis, you can tell he’s trying to keep his voice down, hoping not to wake anyone.

“No, not this time, but you’ve done that before and it scared the shit out of me.” Her voice sounds emotional. You feel bad eavesdropping but you perk up at that, intrigued as to what she’s talking about.

“That was different, you know that.” The tone in his voice tells you he’s trying to shut the topic down, not wanting to speak about it any further.

“Of course I know that, but it’s not like you to go awol on us like that. The only times you do are never good for you.” Charlotte says, her voice getting slightly louder.

“Keep it down, Y/N is still asleep, right there.” Lewis hushes her.

“Sorry,” Her voice is quiet again, “where did you even go last night?”

“I went and saw Marina.” His voice is much quieter now, like they’re exchanging secrets.

“Holy crap, how is she?” Charlotte sounds shocked, and almost a little concerned.

Now you’re incredibly confused. Lewis had told you he spent the night with some hostess from a bar, he hadn’t mentioned a name of any sort and you have no idea why Charlotte would know who she was.

“She’s definitely been better but she’s hanging in there. She wasn’t too impressed that I didn’t tell her I was gonna be in town.” He keeps his voice low.

“And how’s Leon?” Charlotte sounds almost giddy as she asks.

You know you should make your conscious presence known but it feels almost too late, they’ve gotten too far into what seems to be a very private conversation. You don’t want either of them to be mad at you, although they would have every right, you’re violating their privacy majorly.

“He’s good,” You can almost hear the smile on Lewis’s face as he speaks, “he’s getting freaking big. He comes up to my hip already.”

You can’t hear Charlotte's next comment as dishes clank around, one of them cleaning up the kitchen from the abandoned dinner the night before.

“Yeah, I just wish I could help them out more. I send them money but that doesn’t really make up for her being a single mom.” Lewis says.

“You do more than enough for them Lewis.” You hear Charlotte reassure him, “Why didn’t you tell her you were going to be in town?”

“I knew if I tried to go see her, Talia would want to come, and there’s no sense in introducing Leon to someone that he’s never gonna see again. It wouldn’t be fair.” Lewis sighs.

You stay so still on the couch, you’re not sure you’re even breathing, desperate to hear where the conversation goes. You have so many questions. Why would Lewis have told you he hooked up with someone instead of telling you the truth? Why does he feel so responsible for this kid? Is it his?

“Wassup bruv, good to see you’re in one piece.” You hear Miles' voice burst through the kitchen, effectively ending the conversation between Lewis and Charlotte.

You let out a small sigh, knowing you won’t learn anymore, at least for now. You stay on the couch for a few more minutes, listening to Miles harass Lewis about his insane guest, before you deem it long enough to safely make your presence known. You make your way off the couch, taking the blanket and wrapping it around yourself. You’re still in your swimsuit from yesterday and you feel disgusting, you desperately want a shower and some fresh clothing.

“Morning.” You greet the three of them quietly. Feeling the guilt of listening to them gnaw at your core.

“How’d you sleep?” Lewis asks, “Apologies if my shoulder isn’t the most comfortable pillow in the world.”

You laugh before responding, “Honestly, not bad, I think I could have fallen asleep on any surface last night.”

“I was waiting for my cuddles last night, I’m offended that I got beat out.” Charlotte sends a scowl in Lewis’s direction.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up, it was really late.” You give her a sympathetic smile, knowing she’s only really half joking.

“Yeah that brings up a problem that we currently have, the wicked witch is still here.” Miles points out, gesturing his thumb down the hall where she must still be sleeping.

“Yeah, I know, I’ll deal with it.” Lewis sighs, rolling his eyes. His response surprises you a bit, you wonder if he doesn’t want to make his feelings known to his other friends, that maybe it was a moment of weakness when he revealed it to you.

He makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and placing a kiss to the top of your head before speaking quietly in your ear, “Your stuff is still in my room. How about you go take a shower and get dressed while I make you something to eat, sound good?”

You nod, whispering a quiet thank you before making your way down the hall and toward his bedroom. You had yet to actually step foot in his room but when you did you were in awe. He was staying in the suite, seeing as he had rented the house. His bed looked even more comfortable than the one in your room and his view was unmatched. There was a large terrace off the side of the room that you had only seen from outside. The room was big enough to hold a seating area that rivaled your living room at home. You found your bag, neatly placed on a chair, obviously picked up from wherever it had been chucked the night before. You rummaged through it hoping to find your bag of toiletries to go take a shower, huffing when you realized she hadn’t been that thorough while evicting you. You grab a clean change of clothes and make your way to the bathroom, hoping you can at least rinse off. The bathroom is just as impressive as the bedroom, an impressive combination of marble and teak that shouldn’t work as well as it does. The shower is massive with two large rainfall shower heads. You almost moan when you see it, eager to enjoy the hot water on your incredibly tense muscles. As you wait for the water to heat up you try to locate the towels, as you do, you see both Talia’s and Lewis’ body washes sitting on the counter. You contemplate stealing hers for a moment, but you don’t even want to smell like her. You opt to steal Lewis’s figuring he won’t mind.

The shower is just as therapeutic as you had hoped it would be and the clean clothes make you feel like a whole new person. As you walk past what used to be your bedroom you hear her moving around, you can only hope she’s finally packing and getting ready to leave. You end up finding Lewis, Charlotte, and Miles on the back deck, a large spread of food in front of them. You take the seat next to Lewis and he smirks at you as you sit down.

“What?” You ask, confused by the look he’s giving you.

“You smell familiar.” He teases you.

You blush, feeling immediately embarrassed that he noticed, “I’m sorry, I borrowed your soap but when Talia kicked me out of my room she didn’t-” Your rambled apology is quickly cut off.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry about it, s’not a problem. I kinda like it.” He offers you a comforting smile, placing his hand on your knee. “Now what do you want to eat? We’ve got plenty of options.”

The atmosphere throughout breakfast finally feels normal, like the vacation that you were all supposed to be able to enjoy. Charlotte makes mimosas and Lewis keeps your plate full, despite your constant pleas for him to stop, you’re pretty sure you’re going to burst at the seams pretty soon.

“So I was thinking maybe we could head back down to the beach today, Volleyball has been calling my name since I saw the net.” Miles pipes up.

“Sounds good to me, get ready to get your ass whooped though.” Lewis says through a mouthful of pancake.

“Last time I played Volleyball I sprained my ankle and got a concussion, but I’m happy to be a cheerleader.” You said, laughing.

All three of them looked at you with very amused expressions.

“Please elaborate on how the hell you managed that?” Lewis urges you, you can tell he’s ready to taunt.

“Well clumsiness and hard balls don’t really go well together.” You shrug taking a sip of your mimosa.

They all burst out laughing, agreeing that maybe you should stick to the sidelines. The lighthearted air is cut short as Steph walks out to the back deck, her eyebrows almost to her hairline and clearly unamused. The reason is made clear quickly as Talia gets to the door, her hands on her hips and a scowl across her face.

“So playboy, you get me a flight out of here or what?” She throws her hands to her sides, staring hard at Lewis.

“If you’ll excuse me.” He wipes his mouth as he stands up from the table.

“You know its pretty classy of you, eye fuck her all day and then go spend the night somewhere else while I’m tossed to the side like dirty laundry.” You hear her start to berate him as they walk into the house.

“Well she’s a joy.” Steph mumbles, taking a seat and loading up a plate.

The conversation turns easy again, Miles filling Steph in on what has now turned into a Volleyball tournament apparently. He’s given you the job of ref, despite you trying to explain to him that you have no clue what the rules of the game even are. Lewis still hasn’t returned to the table as you all finish up and head off to go get ready for a beach day again. You walk into his room to grab your stuff, finding him sprawled back on the bed, an arm over his face.

“You good?” You ask quietly, hoping not to startle him.

He lets his arm flop to the side, glancing over at you, “Soonest flight out of here isn’t until five, so we’re stuck with her for the rest of the day.”

“Why doesn’t she just go do something while she waits?” You point out the obvious option while you rummage for a fresh swimsuit.

“Because she’s not a reasonable person, I think we’ve established that.” He gives you a look that makes you chuckle.

“Fair point,” you nod, “I’m just gonna go change and then we’re gonna head down.”

He nods, getting up off the bed as you head into the bathroom to change. The swim suit you chose for the day is one of your nicer ones. It's a one piece with bright colors and more cutouts than it really needs. The hips come up high and put most of you on display but it makes you feel confident. When you make your way out of the bathroom Lewis has already changed into a new set of swim trunks, you know he’s watching you intently as you step in front of the mirror, trying to adjust the tie behind your neck. He comes up behind you, brushing your hands away and redoing the tie himself. When he’s done he doesn’t step away, instead he steps closer to you. His bare torso pressed to your back, you can feel his bulge on your ass and you have to take a deep breath to steady yourself. You watch him carefully in the mirror as he leans down, placing a kiss to your neck making you gasp, then another, and another, each one going higher toward your ear. When he gets to just below your earlobe he nibbles, making your knees go weak. His strong arm comes around your torso, holding you up and keeping you pressed to him.

“I like this one.” He mumbles against your skin, continuing with his assault of wet kisses on your neck, finding every perfect spot as if by magic.

You feel his tongue trace over your skin, his head moving so he’s closer to your throat, placing a kiss to your clavicle before moving back up your neck. His hand that is placed on your stomach moves down slowly, almost seeking permission first, he reaches the crease between your hip and your thigh, that movement alone making you whimper. His other hand turns your face toward his, capturing your bottom lip between his teeth before properly kissing you. You melt into the kiss, his tongue so skillfully dancing with yours. You feel him move the small material of your swimsuit to the side, his thumb brushing over your clit ever so slightly, making you moan softly into his mouth. He takes that as a good sign, moving his thumb up and down in a gentle pattern with the perfect amount of pressure as his middle finger makes his way down to your embarrassingly wet opening. He applies the slightest pressure and you take notice of how thick just the tip of his finger feels. He groans into your mouth, feeling how wet you are, how easy it would be to take you right now, up against this mirror. You moan again as his finger slips past your walls, entering you at the perfect angle. He pulses his finger against the spot in the most intoxicating way, leaving you a panting mess. You can already feel your high creeping up on you as he inserts another finger, stretching you further. He groans again, a deep satisfied sound from his chest, thinking about just how snug you would feel around his cock.

“Good girl, such a good girl f’me,” His breath is just as ragged as yours and you can feel just how hard he is, pressed up against your ass, “you like that don’t you, like how I touch you. You’re gonna come so quick, I can feel it. Let it go for me Y/N, come all over my hand.” His kisses move back down your jaw as he talks you to your high but something about him saying your name slapped you back down to earth.

It hits you like a ton of bricks, your best friend who is nearly ten years your senior, is fingering you in his room while your friends wait for you at the beach. Not only that but the woman he had brought simply to fuck is still in your old room, two doors down the hall. You're still not sure where he was last night or what he was talking about with Charlotte this morning. It hasn’t even been twenty four hours since the explosion where Talia accused him of wanting to fuck you and here you are, proving her right. Immediately your orgasm vanishes and you start to push him away.

“Lewis, no, stop.” You say, pushing him away.

He lets you go easily but is incredibly confused. He shakes his head, his brow furrowed, trying to make sense of where your rejection suddenly came from.

“Y/N, what's wrong, are you okay?” He tried to step toward you, not to resume but in hopes of offering some sort of comfort.

“No,” You back away from him, you can see the pain flash over his face at your movement, “we can’t-, that can’t-, I’m, I’m not her, I-.” You can’t string together a full sentence, feeling like you might cry at a moment's notice.

“I know, Y/N, hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry I thought-” He starts, trying his best to calm you down somehow

“No Lewis, it hasn’t even been twenty four hours, shes still here,” You hiss at him, finally finding your words, “my god, she was right. Fuck. Is that why I’m here? Just so you can get your dick wet?”

“God no Y/N, fuck, yes I know, shitty timing on my part. But-” He tries to speak again but you cut him off once more.

“Yeah no shit, ‘shitty timing’.” You mock his accent, “I am not a fucking rebound or some play thing for you, especially after what you said last night. That, whatever that was, it can’t happen.” You shake your head.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what it was, I promise, I thought that-” Once again you cut him off.

“Yeah, I can tell what you fucking thought Lewis.” You keep your voice down but it still comes out harsh.

“Jesus Christ, would you please let me speak?” He sounds desperate, it’s written all over his face.

“I can’t do this Lewis, I have to go.” You put your hands up, stopping any further conversation from him before turning and walking out of the room.

“Y/N.” You hear him call your name behind you.

“Y/N.” It comes again, this time louder, but you can tell he’s not getting any closer. He’s not following you, and you’re thankful.

You feel so ashamed and so angry. You hate him right now, you hate that he chose that moment, this situation. You hate her for being right, he was trying to sleep with you. But you hate yourself too, you hate that you melted into him so easily, you hate that you didn’t stop him sooner. More importantly though, you hate that you loved it, you hate that you wish you didn’t stop him at all, you hate that you now want more, that you want to know exactly what he feels like, what he tastes like, everything about him. He made you  putty in his hands with just his lips alone, you can only imagine what else he is capable of. You hate that you know exactly what he offers, that he's willing to offer it, and you can’t accept it. You felt exactly what he possesses, pressed against your ass and now you will never be able to get the thought of it out of your head. You hate this.

But most important of all, you hate that you may have just lost Lewis.

[readychilledwine]

Wide Awake

Summary - Tamlin comes to a slow realization seeing you fight in the War against Hybern. Now he can only hope it's not too late

Warnings - mentions of blood and death, Tamlin being in love

A/n - some tamlin fluff before I drop angst for sad Boi spring day 💜

He had to get to you.

Tamlin's only thought as he watched blood and death spread around him was you.

You were fighting in this war, this war he allowed to happen, and he wasn't at your side. That thought alone chilled him despite the fur as he tore through male after male in search of you. Since childhood, there hadn't been a moment where you weren't by his side. 

And now in a moment where he could feel your fear, worry, and pain, he wasn't at yours. 

It had taken much too long for that bond to snap, and it came in such a moment of heartache that all Tamlin could do was ignore it for the past 50 years. 

He was done doing that now.

He was done ignoring you.

Done pretending that if he didn't love you, that if you weren't his mate, you were safe.

He knew you were close. That constant tug on the bond driving each tear of flesh, each swipe of sharp claws. 

He finally reached you, seeing you and Lucien back to back and completely surrounded. He shifted and winnowed in immediately, his back to your front. “Welcome to the party,” Lucien said smoothly. “Any ideas?”

You were spent, leaning against him as you held the bleeding stomach wound you had been ignoring. “You're going to winnow, y/n to a healer and get her the fuck out of here.” It was his only idea. Mind clouded by thoughts of your health and safety alone. “I'll find you.” 

You shook your head against him, summoning what little magic you had left and watched as the Hybern beasts were trapped in heavy thick vines. You kneeled to the ground, watching as he and Lucien handled it from there. Watching as everything slowly faded to black.

You were greeted by silence when you woke up. No metal clashing, no screams, no crying. Just silence and darkness surrounding you as if someone or something had taken you somewhere peaceful. It wasn't until you felt a warm hand holding yours that you realized someone had taken you somewhere safe.

Tamlin was sleeping in a chair next to you. He had one of his hands wrapped around yours, snoring softly. “He hasn't left since we brought you here. Told Rhysand and Beron to go fuck themselves or each other when they wanted to discuss new attack and line up plans due to the arrival of the humans and Drakon's army.” Lucien set his book down, looking at you with a perfect brow raised. 

“I should not honestly be surprised,” Lucien picked his book back up when you didn't answer him. “You two have always been inseparable until she came. And then, well, Feyre.” 

You huffed out a small laugh, flinching slightly at the pull on your stomach. “Yeah. I wouldn't laugh for a while. You got cut pretty deep. Not as bad as Cassian, but still deep.”

You squeezed Tamlin's hand, moving to sit up only to have him squeeze your hand back and stop you. “Stop trying to move. We couldn't heal you all the way.” His voice was heavy with sleep and concern as green eyes opened to meet yours. Lucien left the tent quietly, unnoticed by you two as you stared at each other. “I need to apologize,” Tamlin said softly. “For a lot.”

You only nodded. Waiting as you felt his grief down that faded bond. He took a deep breath and continued. “I was so focused on protecting you when Amarantha first came, that I didn't think about how deeply I was hurting you. I didn't think about your feelings, and for that, I am beyond sorry.” You nodded, having already known how much he regretted the choices he had to make and the wedge it had driven between the two of you. “Then I become obsessed with Feyre-”

“Obsessed is an understatement,” you brushed your hands on the sheets. “But continue.”

Tamlin smiled, a rare smile you had not seen in years. “I see near death did not change your attitude,” he moved to holding your chin gently. “I am sorry about that as well. It was you. It was always you, and I do not deserve your love nor forgiveness.”

You forced yourself to sit up, ignoring the igniting discomfort, and sat on the edge of the bed. “I decide that, don't I?” He took his turn, nodding at you. “You have a lot to make up for.” 

“And I'd give you everything I have until my last breath to do that.” You hadn't noticed the distance closing between the two of you until his breath fanned your face softly. “I'd offer you the world on a silver platter, give up my home, everything, for you. I was too blind to realize that before. Not anymore, though.” 

You didn't answer, just kissed him gently ignoring the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. He pulled you closer, hand on the back of your neck. You relished the feeling of his soft lips on yours, of his scent surrounding you in safety and comfort. Tamlin pulled away,  “I love you. Always have. Always will. Long before this bond snapped,” he leaned his forehead against yours. 

“I love you too,” you paused as he smiled. “Even if you are a dick.” 

Tamlin's tongue clicked, his brows growing up. “Here we go-”

“Really like trapping her in the house,” you began to ramble off, him smiling softly the whole time, and responding to your sass with his own playful banter, fingers rubbing against your knuckles. 

You both hadn't felt this content in years.

And Tamlin was prepared to do anything to keep it this way.