#now go and have fun you funky little mutuals (and everyone else who finds this)
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zoanzon · 9 months ago
Note
That post with the Tangled gifs was from 2014 how did you find that lmao?? xD
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[Asked in context of me finding this post from 2014.]
Okay, so, I'm genuinely glad someone asked because I'd already been planning to make a post about this. Tumblr code should be vivisected in a medical theater in front of an audience of hooting Victorian students.
So, to open with the TLDR and go into detail afterwards: it turns out if you turn off infinite-scrolling, you can abuse the way tumblr URL updates to bethesda clip your way back into deeper sections of your dashboard or your Drafts folder, but not your own singular blog's published side.
Step 1: Settings -> Dashboard -> Endless Scrolling. Turn off infinite scrolling. Don't worry, you can turn it back on when you're done experimenting.
Step 2: Scroll down to the bottom of your dashboard, or to the bottom of your drafts.
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[image_id: a picture of my Drafts folder, with the 'next page' button predominantly displayed. the url at the top is www(dot)tumblr(dot)com/dashboard/blog/(blog name)/drafts. the post seen has a visible 'posted on' timestamp from 2 days ago. end id.]
Step 3: Go through 'next page', then look at the url.
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[image_id: another picture of my Drafts folder, this time at the top of the next page. with my cursor hovering over the url box, it highlights the full url: https://www(dot)tumblr(dot)com/blog/(blog name)/drafts?before_id=741844798759124992. the only post you can see has a visible 'posted on' timestamp from 2 days ago. end id]
Now, if I remember what I read somewhere right, that huge number at the end is a Unix timestamp. Look up what those are yourself, but what you need to know is that handy-dandy 'before_id' section in the url? It means it starts the page at the first post that comes before the indicated timestamp.
Makes enough sense, right?
So, now we get to Step 4: Cut off 2-3 numbers off the end of the timestamp in the URL, and hit ENTER.
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[image_id: another picture of my Drafts folder, this time at the top of the next page. with my cursor hovering over the url box, it highlights the full url: www(dot)tumblr(dot)com/blog/(blog name)/drafts?before_id=741844798759124, different from the prior id's URL by missing '992' from the end. the only post you can see has a visible 'posted on' timestamp from February 23, 2020. end id]
If I tried to use endless scrolling to get that deep, my computer would've already exploded. But because turning off infinite scrolling means the url starts updating...you can fuck with it. The smaller the number, the farther back you go.
As I said, it also works on your dashboard too!
For dashboard it doesn't seem to be "?before_id="; instead "max_post_id=" is what fills the url for some unknown reason when you click 'next page', but it does the same thing. So, write out www(dot)tumblr(dot)com/dashboard?max_post_id=74184479875912409 and see yourself jump back a bit in your dashboard.
Then, if you start shrinking that number...
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[image_id: A picture of my dashboard, highlighting an ATLA gifset post. The post's original timestamp is Oct 2012, and the reblogged timestamp is August 2014. Highlighted by my cursor is the url: https://www(dot)tumblr(dot)com/dashboard?max_post_id=94200403764. end id.]
So...yeah, use this trick to scare the shit out of your mutuals when you start reblogging stuff that they themselves last reblogged nearly a decade prior, or to dig deep into your Drafts folder if you're like me and its way too large a number to scroll to the bottom of using infinite scrolling!
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tobesolonely · 4 years ago
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kindergarten teachers
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summary: teacher!harry and coworker y/n have a hard time coming to terms with their feelings for each other
a/n: ahhh she’s finally done! i’ve been working on this fic for sooo long and i hope u all like it! big thanks to @queencharry​ for helping me when i got stuck and beta reading, and @behindthatbabyface​ for beta reading as well and giving me feedback!! i appreciate u both <3 enjoy ~11.3k words of some mutual pining and teacher!h interacting with lil kindergarteners 🥺also i am sorry if theres any major grammar mistakes (as always) or crazy typos, i always miss some things when i go back and proofread that im sure i’ll catch later! thank u
warnings: smut, mentions of alcohol 
talk to me about harry and y/n! let me know your thoughts!!
my ko-fi! thank you :)
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From the time you were very young, you knew you wanted to be a teacher. One of your earliest childhood memories was going to school dressed up as one for career day. Your usually untamed hair was pulled back into a sleek bun (courtesy of your mother), and you donned a funky baby-pink sweater. For bottoms, you wore the closest thing to a pencil skirt you had in your five-year-old wardrobe. When you look back on the photographs your mother took of you that day, you did not resemble a teacher in any way. You were sure if you had not done your Career Day presentation in front of the whole class, no one would have even known who you were dressed up as.
Once you moved onto college and declared Education as a major, that was when people really started to let you hear their opinions on the career path you wanted to pursue. It seemed like whenever you went home for a holiday, relatives were always in your ear saying, “You know teachers don’t make a lot of money, right? Have you ever considered something in the sciences?”. You always responded, “I know, but what would the world do without teachers?”.
Eventually, you finished your undergraduate career, successfully completed student teaching with the highest praise from your superiors and colleagues, obtained your teaching credentials, and even went back to school to get your Master’s degree. So, it was much to everyone’s surprise when you settled on being a Kindergarten teacher. People assumed that because you completed so much schooling, you wanted to be a university professor. However, the thought never even crossed your mind. You always thought Kindergarten teachers were the most impressionable people out there and knew you wanted to be one.
To you, there was no greater responsibility than that of a Kindergarten teacher. It was your responsibility to teach your students reading, writing, art, and music at the most basic level. You showed them how to play with others, how to be kind, and give them the tools necessary to succeed once they leave your classroom. You were the first teacher your students ever had, so you needed to make them fall in love with school instead of hate it, considering they’d have to stick to it until they were at least eighteen. 
You’ve been a credentialed Kindergarten teacher for the last three years, and you’ve loved every moment of it. You were one of the younger teachers at school, but you never felt left out. Your colleagues were amazing people who often shared tips and tricks they wish they knew when they first started teaching.
Now, you were groggily unlocking the door to your classroom, feeling those first-day-of-school jitters you always felt. You knew kindergarteners weren’t there to harshly critique you. Still, you wanted them to go home and tell their parents about how excited they were to have you as a teacher, not run home in tears. That never happened, of course, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You drop your keys and mutter a quiet, “Shit!” setting your travel mug filled with coffee on the ground and readjust the box of donuts you had for your kids on your hip. As you reach for your keys, you hear a deep voice ask if you need help. You quickly turn around, eyes wide from being startled.
“Oh! You scared me,” you place your free hand over your chest. “But yeah, actually, that’d be great. I’m struggling to get my door open.” The man nods, his own keys he wore around his neck jangling as he retrieves first your keys, then your coffee mug.
“I’m Harry– Mr. Styles, if you want,” he holds your keys out for you to take, your coffee mug still in his large hands. “Uh, I’m the new Kindergarten teacher.” You give him a confused look and trade the box of donuts in your arms for your keys, opening the door. “The last one, Mrs. Brown, I think it was, I guess she decided a few weeks back that she wanted to retire.” You get your door open and walk inside your classroom, turning on the lights. It was a little stuffy, considering you hadn’t been there to open any windows in about a month.
“Oh, that’s right! Welcome,” you give him a warm smile. “I’m Y/N– Miss Y/L/N if you want.” A slight blush appears on his cheeks. “We’re gonna be working together then, it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Mrs. Brown, but it’ll be nice to collaborate with someone closer to my age, you know?” Harry nods, and you realize he still had your coffee mug and box of donuts in his hands. “You can just set that on my desk, thanks for helping out. Would you like a donut?”
“Um, I- it’s okay,” he stammers, setting the items down. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ll probably crash if I have a donut first thing in the mornin’.” You smile at him and move to open all your windows and the back door, wanting the stuffy classroom to air out a bit before the children got here. 
“I totally get that,” you giggle, walking back over to your desk. “Are you excited about the first day? I always get a little nervous. I also talk a lot when I’m nervous, I’m sure you caught onto that.” 
For the first time that morning, Harry laughs. “Yeah, I’m nervous, too. ’ve never taught in the States before, so this is a bit new to me.” He’s playing with the keys hanging from his lanyard. 
“I noticed you had an accent, but I didn’t know if it was weird to ask about it. What brings you to California?” You open the box of donuts and take one out, wanting to eat it before it gets cold, and the glaze hardens.
“Uh, I went to University here, but when I graduated, I decided to go back home and teach for a couple of years. I really missed being here though and wanted to come back, so I got my credentials, and uh, here I am,” he tells you with a grin, and you notice he has deep dimples. 
“Well, we’re glad you’re here,” you tell him earnestly. “The kids are just gonna love your accent, too!” you joke and Harry laughs for the second time that day. 
“If all else fails, ’m hopin’ to charm everyone over with my accent,” he stares at you for a moment before speaking again. “Well, I better finish getting situated. It’s fifteen til, and I reckon the children will be arriving soon, yeah?” He asks. You nod. 
“Best to be waiting at parent drop-off too, there are always a few parents that are just as nervous as their babies, if not more, and could use a quick pep talk.”
“Thanks for lettin’ me know. I was thinking about standing out there anyway, just to make a good first impression.” You take another bite of your donut, giving him a thumbs up. 
“You’ve got this, Harry. I know you’re not completely clueless since you’ve taught before, but I know the first day can be a little intimidating. You know where I am if you need anything.” He gives you a grateful smile, quietly thanking you before turning to walk out the door. You’re left thinking about your new coworker, only being pulled from your thoughts of him when the first bell rings.
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“Good morning everyone, my name is Miss Y/L/N. Are you all excited to get this school year started?” A chorus of high-pitched yeses fills the room, and you smile warmly at your class. “I’m so excited that you’re all here! I have a little surprise for each of you!” You grab the box of donuts and walk back to the rug in the center of the room that the children usually sat on for storytime. Little gasps fill your ears, and they all say, “Donuts!” and “Yummy!”. You smile at the kids again, already feeling overwhelmed with how adorable they were. 
“We all get a donut?” one little girl asks, her eyes wide. You nod at her.
“Of course! Everyone will get a donut, sweetie.” You move to get the plastic food gloves you kept so you can safely hand out a donut to everyone. “Okay guys, I’m going to pass a stack of napkins around the room. Take one and pass the stack to the person sitting next to you. Does that make sense?” All the students nod their heads in confirmation, so you grab a stack and hand them to the child sitting closest to you. “Once the last person has their napkin, let me know, and then it’ll be donut time!” You say this over-enthusiastically, and the children squirm in their seats in excitement.
As you go around handing out donuts to each of your students, you learn their names and ask them to tell you one fun fact about them. Most children say things like, “I have a brother/sister!” or “I can run really fast!”, and you find it absolutely adorable. One thing you loved the most about teaching five-year-olds was their ability to think everything was cool. It was comforting to know that no matter what you did, they’d find you cool, and your first-day jitters quickly dissipated. As the children eat their donuts, you read them a story, putting on different voices for all the various characters. You show them how to raise their hand when they have something they’d like to share and remind them to use their “listening ears” when you or one of their classmates are speaking.
When it’s time for recess, you show them how to line up quietly at the door, and assign a line leader and a hall monitor. You remind the children that they will all get a turn at these tasks eventually because it’ll switch every week, and not to worry. As you’re walking down the hall backward (one of your teachers walks that you’d finally perfected), you hear Harry’s voice.
“Okay Room Ten, we’re gonna go out to the playground now, where you all will get to play every recess and lunch. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?” He asks them, and you hear little voices chattering out to him in excitement. You can’t help but peek into his classroom as you walked by, as his door was open. He didn’t see you because he was busy organizing his class into a straight line, so you keep going. Your class, who, much to your surprise, was walking very quietly, got loud once they saw the Kindergarten play area had a slide and monkey bars.
“We get to play on this?” one of your students, Destiny, questions. 
“Yup! This is a pretty cool play area, isn’t it?” They nod and stare at you, waiting for direction. “Oh, you can all go play and run around, get some of that energy out. When the bell rings, though, I want you to listen to the yard teachers because they’re gonna help get you all lined back up so we can go back inside. Deal?” The children give you nods and thumbs up, and you grin at them, telling them to have fun and be nice to one another. As you’re turning to go to the teacher’s lounge to refill your mug of coffee, you see Harry walking down the hallway with his class, and decide to wait for him. He gives his class the same spiel you gave yours and tells them to “Treat each other with kindness” before noticing you waiting for him.
“Hey,” he gives you a grin, looking far more relaxed than he did when you saw him earlier that morning. “How’s it going so far?”
“It’s great,” you reply, leading him in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. “They’re all adorable.”
“Yeah, don’t know what I was so nervous fo’. They’re great. Also, you’re right,” Harry has an amused look on his face. “The first thirty minutes of ’em bein’ there was just them askin’ me to say things because they think I sound funny.” 
“I told you!” you exclaim, laughing at him. “A British accent is definitely not something we hear every day, not here at least.”
“I figured,” he replies, and silence falls between you. “Where are we going, by the way?”
You stop in front of a blue door and sift through the keys on your lanyard, finally finding the one you were looking for. “Teacher’s lounge. Have you had the chance to check it out yet?” He shakes his head, and you pull open the door after having unlocked it. “After you.” He shakes his head and steps back, signaling you go ahead of him. You quirk an eyebrow at him, and he gives you a defensive look.
“What? ‘M a gentleman. Ladies first,” he insists, holding the door open. You walk inside the room, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. There aren’t many teachers in the lounge. You figure they all must be in their classrooms, trying to do some last-minute organization and lesson planning amidst the first day of school chaos. However, a few colleagues that you’re rather fond of are in the room, so you take it upon yourself to introduce them to Harry.
“Hello everyone, I hope you’re all having a relaxing morning!” They chuckle lightly at your sarcasm. “I’d like you all to meet Mr. Harry Styles. He’s the new Kindergarten teacher that took Mrs. Brown’s place.” A look of realization washes over all three teachers’ faces, and they warmly greet him. Harry goes around, shaking each of their hands, voice dripping with charm.
“Lovely to meet you all. Looking forward to collaborating,” he tells them quietly. They begin engaging in polite conversation, so you leave Harry’s side, walking over to the coffee station to get what you came for before recess was over. He joins you shortly after, grabbing a disposable cup. “They were a nice bunch.” He mutters, pouring the steaming coffee into his cup. You hum in agreement.
“Everyone here is nice. The lounge is usually much more crowded than this. Everyone else must be in their rooms,” you flick your wrist up to check the time. “We got some time to sit down and breathe for a bit if you’d like? Unless you wanted to get back to your room.”
“‘M in no rush, trust me,” he tells you, flashing you a small smile. “Let’s take a seat.” Harry walks over to an unoccupied couch and sits down slowly, taking care not to spill his coffee. 
“You didn’t want a lid?” you question when you see him struggling. He shrugs.
“Not necessary. Jus’ some extra plastic,” you hum and look down at your lap. You were quickly learning that Harry was not a big talker, and he liked to get his point across in as few words as possible. Him being a Kindergarten teacher contradicted heavily with his rather bashful demeanor, but that just made him all the more endearing to you.
“Do you live nearby, or is your commute long?” you ask him after a few moments of silence. As soon as you ask the question, you internally cringe, feeling like it was too invasive. If Harry thought the question was weird, he doesn’t show it.
“I live in town. I actually walked here today, believe it or not,” he tells you with a chuckle. “Was such a beautiful morning that I figured I should.” Every time you think Harry can’t possibly get any more captivating, he does, and you find yourself biting back a smile.
“How long is your walk?” You cross your legs and then uncross them, a nervous habit that you had. Harry takes a sip of coffee, mulling your question over.
“I’d say it took me about twenty minutes. I was walkin’ at a pretty leisurely pace, though,” Harry shrugs. “How about you? Do you live nearby?”
“I also live in town, but I’m way too lazy to walk, so props to you,” you smile. “The best thing about living around here is seeing your kids out in public. It’s the cutest thing.” Harry smiles, not saying anything else. A silence falls over the two of you again but instead of feeling the need to fill it, you just sit beside him, drinking your coffee. Your mind wanders off to what you were going to do for the rest of the school day, if you had enough groceries in your apartment for dinner or if you should go grocery shopping after work, and if you remembered to pay your bills on time. The bell rings to signify the end of recess, and you jump slightly.
“Ready to go back?” Harry asks, standing up and walking back over to the coffee station. “Think’m gonna get a bit more.” You go to stand by the door, waiting for him to pour another cup of coffee. He quickly rejoins you, and the coffee sloshes a bit, some getting on his hand, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Hope those lil’ buggers got some of their energy out.”
“Right! Mine was even more hyper than they probably would’ve been ’cause I gave them those donuts this morning,” you laugh. “So, for my sake, I hope so too.” When you and Harry arrive back at the Kindergarten play area, your classes are already lined up quietly awaiting instruction, thanks to the yard teachers. You and Harry both thank them and move to stand in front of your kids. 
“Miss Y/L/N,” one of your children calls out from the back of the line. “Can we get more donuts when we go back inside?” You see Harry smile out of the corner of your eye as he’s giving instruction to his class.
“There are no more donuts, you guys ate them all! I have something even cooler than donuts planned for us, though, okay? Now, remember what I told you all about walking quietly, right? Mr. Line Leader, how does your line look? Do you think we’re all set to go back inside?” The child you appointed line leader turns around to look at everyone, occasionally shushing some people. After a few moments, he turns back to you, giving you a thumbs up. 
Harry moves to stand beside you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Wanna eat lunch together and do some planning? I feel like it would be a good idea for us to be teachin’ the same things, more or less.” Your body feels warm all over, and you just look at him and nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Harry smiles and places a hand on your shoulder. At a normal volume, he says, “See you then, Miss Y/L/N.” 
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Upon entering Harry’s room, you’re immediately met with the scent of vanilla and the loud hum of the air conditioning. It was bright, adorably decorated, and surprisingly decluttered. It was the polar opposite of your room, and you found it very welcoming and comforting. “Nice set-up you’ve got going on in here,” you tell him. He jumps in his seat at his desk, not having heard you come in.
“Fucks sake,” he mumbles, face going red. “You scared me. Thanks, though. My sister helped me decorate, I don’t really have an eye for this type of stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. 
“Well, if you ever need any help decorating for back to school and your sister isn’t around, I’d be more than happy to help.” Harry smiles and suddenly gets up from his chair, offering it to you.
“Please, take my seat. I’ll just sit in one of the kids’ chairs,” he rolls it towards you, and you shake your head, about to object, but he interrupts you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Their chairs aren’t that bad.” You take the seat Harry was just in, mumbling a quiet thank you. He hums and pulls a tiny chair up beside you, legs scraping loudly across the floor. When he sits down in it, you can’t but burst out laughing.
“Harry, that chair is so tiny! Are you sure you don’t want me to sit there instead? You look so uncomfortable,” you tell him in between laughs. “This is your classroom, after all, I’m just a guest.” Harry shakes his head, cheeks flushed.
“It’s okay, Y/N, really. ‘M perfectly comfortable in this lil’ miniature chair,” he looks at the lunch bag you sat on his desk. “What’s for lunch?” You reach for your sack and unzip it, pulling out a pre-packaged salad from Trader Joe’s.
“I’m very lazy when it comes to packing my lunches,” you admit sheepishly, pulling out a fork. “How about you? Did you eat already?”
“Oh yeah, I had a green smoothie. Not a big lunch guy,” he replies calmly. “Wanna get started with planning? I think we only have about thirty minutes left.” He looks down at his watch to confirm the time. Harry opens his planner, and you see pages filled with his neat, blocky scrawl. He jumps right into talking about the ideas he had in mind, excitement filling his voice that you haven’t yet heard. 
The passion and enthusiasm he has for teaching are evident through the way he tells you about the activities he has planned, new materials and teaching methods he wants to try implementing, and things he’s tried before that didn’t work out the way he wanted them to. He asks you for your advice and listens intently when you speak, jotting down notes.
You find yourself having to mentally remind yourself not to stare at him. He was a handsome man– there was no denying that. He had curly brown hair, soft and wild-looking, the most beautiful green eyes you’d ever seen, and arms covered in tattoos. You also noticed he had the tiniest cross on his left hand. You wanted to ask him about it, but you figured that was a conversation for another time. 
“Y/N? Did you hear what I just said,” Harry asks, giving you a concerned look. “Are you alright? I think you just zoned out for a couple minutes or somethin’.” You nod quickly, feeling your palms growing sweaty.
“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about something I have to do later. What did you just say?” You play off how you were just wholly drooling over your new coworker, feeling scrutinized under his piercing gaze.
“Jus’ got an email from the principal. Said we have a faculty meetin’ after school at three. Wanna go together?” He asks. You know Harry’s asking you to accompany him primarily because you’re the only person he really knows so far. However, it still makes you feel warm and special. “He said we’re gonna go over some planning for the Fall Festival. What’s that?”
“Oh, it’s just the back-to-school festival. It’s adorable,” you explain. “It’s like a mini carnival that we have right here on the playground. Every year they have teachers host booths. It’s a great way to get to meet your kids’ parents and bond with the other faculty.” Harry nods, standing up from the tiny chair right as the bell signifying the end of lunch rings.
“That sounds lovely,” he chirps, smiling down at you. “We’re gonna have the best booth out of everyone Y/N, trust me.” He jokes, the corner of his eyes crinkling. This was the most Harry had talked since you met him that morning and you were enjoying witnessing him open up to you more and more with each conversation shared.
“It is,” you stand up as well, gathering your trash and empty lunch pail. “Thanks for having me, Harry. Next time we can meet in my room. I wouldn’t mind making this a daily thing.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you physically wince, figuring Harry had to think you were obsessed with him at this point. He looks down, the corners of his mouth upturned when he makes eye contact with you again.
“I’d like that, Y/N. I’ll actually start bringin’ a proper lunch, so you’re not the only one eating,” you smile. “I’ll meet you in your room after school?” You nod in confirmation, walking out the door in front of him. 
“See ya later.”
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“Did everyone have a good day today?” You ask your class, walking backward to the dismissal gate. You’re met with a chorus of cheerful sounding ‘yeses,’ and you place your hand over your heart in a dramatic fashion. “That makes me so happy, everyone! You’re all incredible little people, and I think we’re gonna have a fantastic year. What do you guys think?” The children chatter excitedly, glad to have made it through their first day of school and see their parents on the other side of the gate eagerly awaiting them, cell phones snapping pictures. 
Harry’s already at the gate, waiting for the bell to ring so he can dismiss his class. He’s walking down the line asking each of the children if they see who they’re supposed to go home with, crouching down to their height so they can point them out to him. Some children in his class look a little upset because they don’t see their parents yet. Harry quickly consoles them, telling them they can all play a fun game together while they wait for their ‘Mummies and Daddies.’
You do the same with your kids, and by the time the bell rings and you finish dismissing the ones who saw someone there to pick them up, there was one child from your class who was still waiting and two from Harry’s. He walks over to you, one of their tiny hands in each of his. The boy looks unbothered, but the girl was beginning to cry.
“Hey, Ava, should we ask Miss Y/L/N and her friend if they want to play iSpy with us? The more, the merrier, isn’t that right?” He looks down at her, and she nods, looking down. You figure she’s one of his more shy students he was telling you about earlier.
“Hi, sweetie! I’m Miss Y/L/N, are you waiting for your mom or dad?” She nods, biting her lip. You turn and gesture to your one student who was waiting as well. “Well, so is she! Don’t worry, they’ll be here.”
“I’m Matthew,” the little boy holding Harry’s other hand informs you, shifting from foot to foot. You give him a big smile.
“Hello, Matthew! I love your Spiderman shirt; he’s just the coolest. Jade, do you want to introduce yourself to Mr. Styles, Ava, and Matthew? Remember when we learned about introductions today in class? When you got to introduce yourself to all your classmates?”
Jade nods, a big, toothy grin on her face. “Hi! My name is Jade, and I am five-years-old but my birthday is September 19th, so I’m actually almost six-years-old,” she tells them matter-of-factly. “It’s very nice to meet you!” She adds, remembering the script you gave them earlier. Harry looks down at her, an impressed look on his face.
“Well, it is very lovely to meet you too, Jade! Do we all know how to play iSpy?” Jade and Matthew shout in excitement, but Ava just grips tighter onto Harry’s hand. He looks down at her again. “Do y’ want Miss Y/L/N and I to show you how to play, Ava?” His voice is very quiet, slow, and soothing. She nods, letting go of his hand.
“Well Ava,” you say, looking around for something to start the game out with. “I would say, “I spy with my little eye something green. Then you, Mr. Styles, Matthew, and Jade, would have to look around and name out everything that’s green. If you name something and it’s not it, then I will tell you nope, and you can try again, but if you figure it out, then you’re the winner! Does that make sense?”
She nods, and you see a gleam of excitement in her eyes. “Can I go first?” She asks quietly. You tell her, yes, and she looks around quickly, trying to find something to say. “I spy with my little eye something blue!” She has a triumphant smile on her face, and even though you immediately know she’s talking about the sky and you’re sure Harry does too, you both decide to take a step back and let the children take the game into their own hands.
“Y’know, that lil’ introduction Jade gave was really somethin’. I didn’t even think about teachin’ my kids that. Think I’ll try that out tomorrow,” Harry whispers, craning his neck slightly to be at your ear. You shiver at the feeling of his warm breath against your skin. 
“Yeah, I feel like that’s always a good first day of school activity for them to do. A lot of them have never really been exposed to people outside of their immediate family, so they’re not too sure how to talk to others.” Harry hums, standing back up straight.
“Mr. Styles,” Matthew calls, running over to Harry. “My mommy is here. Can I go now?” Harry nods, telling Matthew to wait for him so he can say hi to his mother. You watch as he walks away, overhearing as he tells the boy’s mother what a great job he did today and how he’s so excited to go through this school year with him in his class. Ten minutes later, Jade and Ava are gone as well, and Harry locks the dismissal gate. 
“I forgot how exhausting the first day could be,” he tells you, letting out a quiet sigh. “Ready to go to that meeting, though? It’s just about three.” You check your watch and see the time read at 2:57 PM.
“Yeah, just let me grab my bag, and we can head over there. I’m really hoping this won’t take too long; I was planning on going grocery shopping after this,” you walk down the hall towards your classroom and feel Harry’s gaze on you.
“Where do you like to go grocery shopping?” he asks after a few moments of silence. “I need to pick up some groceries this week, too. ’ve been eatin’ takeout for the past week, and I’m starting to feel like shit.” You laugh, unlocking your door. Harry stands outside, holding it open while you grab your purse and lunch bag.
“Honestly, I don’t have a preference. I switch it up a lot,” you shrug, making sure all the windows are closed before walking out. “Was there something, in particular, you were looking for?”
“Uh,” Harry scratches the back of his head. “No? Maybe you could text me a list of all your favorite stores, though. Jus’ so I won’t forget.”
You quirk an eyebrow at him, ignoring how fast your heart was beating. “Are you asking for my number, Mr. Styles?”
“I guess I am,” he replies nonchalantly. “We’re gonna be workin’ together a lot. Might as well have your number– if that’s okay, I mean.” He looks down at you.
“Yeah, remind me after the meeting,” you tell him, trying your hardest to play it cool. “Don’t let me forget.”
“Trust me, I won’t.”
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“So Y/N and Harry, you two will be in charge of the pumpkin decorating booth? Is that right?” The principal looks down at his notes and then shifts his gaze between the both of you. You both nod.
“Yeah, I’m excited! I think it’ll be a lot of fun,” you reply excitedly. “We can go to the craft store and get a bunch of paints, but where do you think the best place to get the pumpkins would be?” You pull out your planner, ready to jot down any suggestions.
“You two could try going to a pumpkin patch? They’re starting to pop-up around town,” one teacher suggests. “I’m sure if you purchased a bunch and told them it was for a school event, we could get some kind of deal.” The rest of the faculty buzzes in agreement.
“Y/N and Harry, could you get to a pumpkin patch sometimes this week and see if they can give us an estimate of how much it would cost? Then I could let the PTA know.” You and Harry confirm that it will be possible to do sometime this week, and the meeting continues on.
By the time you’re finally free to leave the meeting, it’s already growing dark outside. Harry’s hands are shoved in his pockets, and he’s looking down at his feet. “So–”
“Do you want–”
You both stop, laughing awkwardly. “You go first.” you tighten the grip on your purse.
“Uh, I was jus’ gonna ask if I could get your number now. Yanno, so we can plan when we’re gonna go get all the stuff for our booth? And you still gotta tell me what your favorite grocery stores are,” he has a playful look in his eyes. For the thousandth time that day, your hands become clammy. There was just something about every interaction you had with him that made you so nervous. 
“Oh yeah,” you answer coolly, digging in your purse for your phone. “Just text your number, so I have it.” You hand him his phone, and he stops dead in his tracks, a look of concentration on his face. 
“I can’t walk and be on the phone at the same time,” he mutters when he looks back up and realizes you were watching him the whole time. “I don’t know how people do it.” He hands you back your phone. “What were y’ gonna ask me?”
“I was just um, I was gonna ask if you wanted me to give you a ride home? I mean, since you walked to work today and it’ll be dark soon,” talking to Harry made you feel like a nervous school girl interacting with her first crush, and you hated that feeling.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”
“It’s no bother, really,” you cut him off, and you realize you sound a little eager, but at that point, you didn’t even care. “I’m sure we don’t live too far from each other.” Harry looks slightly unsure but nods, and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
“If you’re sure, Y/N. I appreciate it, I owe you one,” he’s following behind you to the teacher parking lot. You silently pray your car isn’t messy inside like it usually is as you approach it. You decide to pick up your pace and walk ahead of him, telling yourself if the passenger side was messy, you’d just quickly throw everything in the back. “Heyyyy, why’re you walkin’ so fast? Are you sure you’ve got the time to take me home?” He takes a few big strides and quickly catches up with your hurried, tiny ones.
“Yeah, of course, I have time,” you respond, unlocking your car as you approach it. “If it’s messy, then just ignore it.” you preface, honestly not remembering the state in which you left your car this morning when you walked into work.
“Don’t worry about it. You should see mine,” Harry jokes, and it immediately puts you at ease. As you’re about to open your door, Harry quickly rushes to your side, opening it himself. “Let me.” 
His hand rests over yours, and you quickly pull it away, your body heating up. “Harry, I’m already right here. I can open my own car door.” 
“I know you can. But I’m a gentle—“ 
“You’re a gentleman, I know,” you playfully roll your eyes and take a step back, allowing Harry to open your car door all the way. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t flattered and honestly a little bit turned on. He flashes you a smile as you situate yourself behind the wheel of the car and makes sure you’re all the way in before slamming it shut. You see him lightly jog around to the passenger side, and soon enough, he’s beside you, your car immediately starting to smell like his cologne. 
“What music do you like to listen to?” Harry asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 
“You ask me a lot of random questions, Harry,” you reply, looking behind you as you slowly back out. 
“Is it a crime to wanna get to know my new coworker?” you can hear a smile in his voice. “C’mon. What’s your favorite music to listen to?” 
You shrug, looking both ways before exiting the parking lot. “Where do you live?” 
“I don’t know my address yet. Just take a left at this light coming up. Favorite music?” Out of the corner of his eye, you see him scrolling through his music library. 
“You don’t know your address yet?” 
“No. I’ll play something random,” he says, tapping his hand on his knee. “You can take a right at that stop sign up there.” You put on your blinker and glance over your shoulder before switching lanes. Harry quickly pairs his phone with your Bluetooth, and a song you’re unfamiliar with blares through your speakers. Neither one of you says anything else, only speaking to each other when he’s giving you directions to his house, and you’re confirming what he said.
After two more songs, Harry says, “S’right up here.” He’s led you to a beautiful apartment complex— one you were looking at when you were moving out of your parent’s home but just couldn’t afford as a new graduate. You expertly parallel park and then turn the car off, a silence falling between the two of you.
“This is a nice complex,” you tell him after a moment. “Really close to school. I see why you opted to walk to work today.” 
“Mhm,” he hums. His seatbelt is still fastened. “I understand if you’re busy, but did you wanna come in?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly backtracks. “I mean— it’s just— remember the activity you taught your kids today? About introductions? Jus’ wanted to know if you could walk me through it, that’s all.” 
“Oh. Well yeah, I can hang out for a bit.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach in the backseat for your purse that you threw haphazardly over your shoulder earlier. 
“Will your boyfriend be okay with you coming in, though?” He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“What makes you think I have a boyfriend?” You’re slightly taken aback and oddly flattered that he thought you were in a relationship.
“I dunno,” his face grows red. “You got all weird when I opened doors for ya. Figured you had a boyfriend.”
“I don’t.”
“Cool.” More silence falls, this time an awkward one.
“Should we go inside now?” you unlock the doors, quickly getting out of the car. Harry follows behind you and waits for you to walk onto the sidewalk before going up the walkway.
“How close do you live to me?” Harry asks, punching in his gate code. He pulls the gate open and gestures for you to go ahead of him. You decide not to comment on it this time.
“A couple blocks away. I could probably walk over here if I was in the mood to,” Harry shuts the gate behind you and walks over to the first set of stairs, taking them two at a time. “I was interested in this complex when I was moving out of my parents’ but I settled on something else.” He hums, stopping in front of the first door at the top of the stairs. There’s a brown ‘Welcome!’ mat outside his door, along with a few potted plants.
“Here we are,” he looks over his shoulder as if he’s checking if you’re still there. “Excuse the boxes. ‘M not done unpacking yet.” He pushes open the door and steps in, quickly turning on the light. You’re met with the same sweet scent of vanilla that’s in his classroom. Considering he was in the process of unpacking, his apartment was reasonably tidy.
“It looks good in here,” your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You were in your coworker’s house that you just met that day, and you could already feel yourself developing a crush on him. There was obviously no way you’d let this relationship progress past anything strictly professional, but that didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to admire his beauty.
“Thanks,” he gives you a smile, relief washing over his face. “You can set your bag down if you want. Take a seat, make yourself at home.” He leaves the room, and you hear him rattling around in the kitchen. “Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Coffee? Tea?”
“Coffee sounds great,” you reply. You set your purse down on his coffee table and sit on the edge of his couch, inspecting his living room closer. There were two books on the table, both flipped upside down as a way to mark his page. There were a few more plants inside, similar to the ones in front of his door. There was a framed picture of him with two beautiful women you assumed to be his mother and sister. Harry comes back into the room a few minutes later, two steaming cups of black coffee in hand.
“Here you are, Miss Y/L/N,” he puts on an exaggerated posh accent, and you giggle.
“Why thank you, Mr. Styles,” you respond in the same voice. “Do you have cream and sugar?”
He wrinkles his nose. “I think I might have sugar. Is oat milk, okay? I don’t have cream.” He goes back to his kitchen to retrieve the items before you can tell him it’s okay, and you’ll just drink it black. You thank him, pouring the tiniest splash of oat milk into your coffee. You can feel his eyes on you as you add a bit of sugar, stir, taste, and then add some more.
“So,” you begin after your coffee is made to your liking. “What did you think about your first day? You can be honest since we’re not on campus anymore.” Harry laughs, looking down at his fingernails.
“Uh,” he starts. You notice he says, ‘uh’ a lot. “It was terrific. Not so sure I would’ve felt the same way if I didn’t have you to help me through it.” 
“We’re partners in crime now, Harry. We’re the two Kindergarten teachers, and you’re the only other person there my age? We’ve definitely gotta stick together,” you give him a big smile. He doesn’t smile back but looks a bit troubled instead. You wait for him to speak, coming to accept that long pauses were just a thing when having a conversation with Harry.
“Y’know how I assumed you had a boyfriend earlier? I thought after I’d said that–– rather I hoped after I said that you’d be like,” he clears his throat. “‘Why, no! I don’t have a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?’” He put on the worst American accent you’d ever heard to imitate your voice, causing you to laugh. “To which I would’ve replied with a simple ‘no.’” 
Now it’s your turn to leave Harry wondering what you’re thinking for the first time all day. You can feel his eyes on you as you look at his couch cushions, noticing a bit of crumbs that you hadn’t seen before. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I think you’re beautiful.”
“You don’t even know me. We just met today.”
“Does that mean I can’t think you’re beautiful?”
You bite your lip, feeling yourself starting to grow a bit turned on by his forwardness. There was a part of you that would risk it all for just one night in bed with Harry because you just found him that attractive. The rational, adult side of you was screaming, ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure!’. By now, you had both moved closer on the couch to one another, knees nearly touching. “I think you’re beautiful, too.” He grins, setting his coffee cup down. You do the same.
“Would it be crazy of me to tell you that I really wanna kiss you right now?” His face is mere inches from yours, so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath. You shake your head.
“No. I really wanna kiss you too.”
“C’ mere, then.” 
Harry leans forward a bit more until his lips are ghosting over yours. You pull at the collar of his shirt, bringing his already close body even closer to yours. His lips are softer than they look, and he’s a better kisser than you thought he’d be, too. He brings his hands up to tangle them in your hair, and that’s when you abruptly pull away, not wanting things to go too far. “We shouldn’t…” He looks at you with sad eyes, but he nods, understanding what you mean.
“Probably not the best idea?” his response comes out as more of a question than a statement, but you nod in agreement anyway.
“Definitely not. I’m um–– I’m actually gonna go,” you stand up, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee, Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, see––”
You’re out the door, rushing down the stairs before he can even finish his sentence.
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The rest of the school week goes on without either one of you mentioning it. It’s a little awkward for a couple of days, but by the time Friday rolls around, both of you decide the best course of action to take regarding the kiss would be to act like it never happened. 
You’re in your room at lunch hanging up your kids’ artwork they made during their ‘Free Time’ this morning, having declined Harry’s lunch invitation for the fourth time that week. You decided to pretend to be busy with work so you wouldn’t be too tempted to go into his room. To most people, you’re sure it looked like you were avoiding him–– and maybe you were. However, you were trying to get over this crush on him in the best way that you knew how.
“Need some help?”
You jump, nearly falling backward off the stepstool you were on. “Holy shit, Harry! You scared the hell out of me!” You feel your body getting warm, and you quickly look away, not wanting him to see how flustered you were.
“Sorry, you weren’t answering my texts, so I decided to come see what you were up to,” he walks over to where you were standing and hands you a piece of art, smiling at it before handing it to you. “You’ve got some artists in your class.”
“Mhm,” you hum, not looking him in the eyes. You hear him let out a quiet sigh.
“Still able to go see about getting those pumpkins ordered after work?”
You had completely forgotten that you and Harry decided today would be the day you’d go get the pumpkin situated figured out for your booth. For a second, you consider making an excuse to get out of it, but you decide against it. This was something that both of you were asked to do, not just him, and you didn’t want the fact that you let your attraction to him cloud your judgment getting in the way of your professional responsibilities.
“Yeah, that works.”
He doesn’t say anything, and even though you’re not looking at him, you can see the gears in his head turning. “Should we talk––” 
You’re quite literally saved by the bell, the end of lunch interrupting where you knew he was about to lead the conversation. “I’ll see you after school? Did you walk here again? I can drive.” Harry nods slowly.
“Uh, yeah. he replies. “I walked. Uh, ’m gonna go get my kids. See you after school then?”
“Yup!” you respond, fake enthusiasm in your voice. Harry gives you one more look before walking out of your room. You wait until he’s all the way down the hall before following behind him to bring your class back inside. You knew you were the one making things awkward between you and Harry. However, the realistic part of you knew getting involved with your coworker was one of the worst ideas you’d ever had in your life. For now, you’d just tell yourself that you were probably more into Harry than he was into you and pray that would be enough to make you get over your crush.
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“I haven’t been to a pumpkin patch since I was a kid.” Harry stuffs his hands farther into his pockets while yours are tightly hugging your chest. You hum, not saying anything. The car ride there was a little awkward, and you were glad it was so short. You could tell there was a lot Harry wanted to say, but you were glad he wasn’t saying it. You keep seeing him glance at you, but you pretend not to notice.
“What size pumpkins should we ask for? Small ones, huh?” Harry nods, looking around in childlike awe. There was a small petting zoo, booths selling warm drinks and kettle corn, and an obscene amount of children.
You walk around together for a moment before encountering a friendly-looking employee who looked like he could help you out. Harry takes over, explaining the situation, and why you need to order one hundred tiny pumpkins. While you’re waiting for the employee to ask the owner if that would even be possible, Harry turns to face you.
“Y/N? Can we talk about what happened on Monday?” you’re about to tell him that you’d rather not, but he continues. “I felt something during that kiss, Y/N. I’m not sure if you felt it too, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. We have to get through an entire school year working side-by-side, and if you’re not interested, then I respect that one hundred percent, but I just want––”
“So the owner said that is possible!” The employee that was helping you out comes back with a form and clipboard in their hand. “Can you just fill out some information and let us know what time you need it tomorrow? The owner said he could get it delivered and give you guys a discount since you’re ordering so much.”
“That’s great!” you exclaim, taking the form from him. You were glad to have been saved from your conversation with Harry. You quickly go through and fill out everything you can, telling them they can bill your school’s PTA. 
The walk back to your car is silent. You’re replaying what Harry was saying to you over in your head, thinking about what he was going to say before he was interrupted. He opens your car door like he’s been doing, but he doesn’t make eye contact with you or say a word as he slides into the passenger seat.
“Y’can just drop me off,” Harry says quietly. He leans your seat back and closes his eyes. You wait to see if he’ll connect his phone, but he doesn’t, so you turn on the radio at a volume so low it almost can’t be heard. It takes everything in you not to speed back to his place. You just wanted him out of your car. You had such strong feelings for him that it physically hurt, and restraining yourself from telling him how you really felt was growing harder and harder.
“We’re here.” your voice is a little hoarse from not saying anything. Harry slowly opens his eyes and unbuckles his seatbelt, opening the door.
“Right. Thanks for the ride. What time do we need to be at school to set up our booth by?”
“Four. I can pick you up if you want?”
“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Y/N.” He closes the door and walks up to his gate without looking back at you once.
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“Hi Miss Y/L/N! Hi Mr. Styles!”
Groups of your students had been coming up to you excitedly all evening. It made you happy to see that the Kindergarten classes were no longer divided. They were starting to hang out with one another. Their parents tell you how their children thought it was just the coolest thing to be on school grounds on a Saturday, and how even though it was only a week into the school year, they were having the best time. It was comments like this that made you fall in love with your job all over again.
Things between you and Harry were going well. It wasn’t awkward, but you think it was because you were both too busy helping children paint their pumpkins. You were glad that Harry didn’t take the bit of downtime the two of you had when no one was at your booth trying to talk about the kiss and instead talked about other random things instead. You find out he loves baking (specifically, bread), he has an obsession with old music, and has about fifty tattoos. He talks to his mom on the phone every day, and he is extremely close to his sister. You tell him about your parents’, your undergraduate experience, your hobbies, and you finally tell him what music you like to listen to.
The festival quickly comes to an end, and you find yourself sad once you and Harry are done cleaning up your booth, knowing that you were just going to drop him off at his apartment and go back to yours to spend another Saturday night alone. You get to his complex almost too quickly, and you almost want to keep going and pretend you accidentally missed it just to be with him a bit longer. Instead, you park.
“D’ya wanna come inside?” He blurts out. Even in the darkness of your car, you can tell his face is flushed. “I mean if you haven’t got plans. I know it’s a Saturday night, so I understand if––”
“Nope, I don’t have plans. I’d love to.” Your hands are shaky as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He quickly gets out of your car and runs around to your side, opening the door for you before you can do it yourself. You almost don’t even notice since it was becoming such a habit.
“I picked up this new bottle of wine a couple days ago that’ve been wanting to pop open. Think we deserve a glass or two after such a long week, hmm?” You wordlessly nod, wholly mesmerized with just how good Harry looked after such a long day of work. His curls fell perfectly across his forehead, his eyes were sparkling and full of excitement. 
“A glass of wine sounds great,” you reply with a chuckle. “I’m ready to drink a whole bottle by the end of the week if I’m being honest.” Harry laughs, quickly punching in his gate code. You could see his hands shaking a little bit, but you decide not to comment on it. He takes the stairs up to his apartment two at a time like he did last time you were there, but this time there’s an urgency and clumsiness to his actions that you haven’t seen before. He jams the key in his lock, quickly shoving the door open.
His apartment is a little messier than it was when you were in it at the beginning of the week, but it’s nothing disgusting. He runs his fingers through his curls, moving aside papers that were scattered along the length of the couch. “Sorry, I was doin’ some planning. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappears to the kitchen, and moments later, you hear the pop of a wine cork and the smooth sound of him pouring the alcohol into glasses.
He emerges from his kitchen, handing you a generously poured glass of wine. “Thanks, Harry,” you tell him before taking a big sip. It was sweet, and while you usually preferred a more dry wine, it was still delicious. 
“Cheers to the end of a successful first week,” he holds up his glass, and you smile, clinking yours with his. “Thanks for helpin’ me get through it, Y/N. Couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a timid smile.
“Stop, Harry. You’re a great teacher. I can see your kids love you already,” you take another sip of wine. “I kinda do too. I mean–– that came out wrong. I don’t love you, but I do think I like you.” You didn’t know what came over you at that moment, but something told you now was the time to lay it all out on the table with Harry. He sets his glass of wine down, the biggest smile on his face.
“Really? I thought you weren’t interested. Was kinda startin’ to feel like you hate me,” he sounds a little sad. You shake your head.
“Quite the opposite, actually. I’m really into you,” you didn’t even realize how you’d inched your way towards Harry. “I’ve been trying not to think about how we kissed because we shouldn’t, you know? We’re coworkers. I’ve been trying not to think about it all week, though, and I just can’t get you out of my mind.” He stares intensely into your eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek like he usually does when he’s thinking.
“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he finally asks. You’re in the same position as you were last time, being mere inches away from the other’s lips. Only this time, you smell the wine on his breath, not coffee. You nod quickly, and Harry cups your face in his hands, hungrily pressing his lips against yours.
“You can do more than kiss me, actually,” you tell him breathlessly. “You can do whatever you want with me.”
Harry raises an eyebrow, a shocked look on his face. “When you say anything…” he trails off.
“I want you to fuck me, Harry,” you tell him bluntly. “Please. Been wanting that all week.” He licks his lips, looking at you in a way he hasn’t yet before. 
“I can definitely do that,” he replies, resting his hand on your thigh. His large hand is dangerously close to your pussy, and you can already feel yourself growing wet. “Let’s get all these clothes off you then, huh?” 
You stand up and quickly start removing your clothes. First, your blouse comes off, and that’s quickly followed by your bra. Harry’s leaning back on the couch, arms resting behind his head. “Enjoying the show?” you ask, quickly pulling down your jeans and underwear. You’re completely naked in front of him in thirty seconds flat, and you reckon that’s the fastest you’ve ever undressed for anything. 
“Very much so,” he mumbles, palming himself over his khakis. “C’ mere, Y/N.” he pats his lap, and you move to sit in it, now straddling him. He softly presses his lips against yours, the hunger that was there just a moment ago completely dissipated. This was a much more hesitant kiss, more gentle and tender. “You’re really beautiful, Y/N.”
You giggle. “I know. You’ve told me that before.”
“I want you to know how much I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
Harry nods. “Can I have a taste of ya now?” you notice that his accent sounds a bit thicker than usual, voice a tad gruffer. You nod, swallowing thickly. Climbing off Harry, you lay back on the couch, situating yourself, so it’s a little more comfortable. He looks into your eyes, placing his hands on your knees. “Is this okay, Y/N?” You nod again, and he removes his hands.
“What’s wrong?” your voice has a hint of desperation in it, but after a week of extreme sexual tension, you wanted nothing more than to cum by the hands of this man.
“Wanna hear you tell me it’s okay. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want,” he’s looking down at his hands.
“Harry, I wouldn’t have given you a striptease and laid back on this couch for you if I didn’t want it. I wholeheartedly give you permission to do whatever you want with me––”
That’s enough for him. He roughly pries your legs open, immediately licking a long stripe up your heat. You cry out, not expecting him to get right into it. You look down at him and groan when you see he’s making eye contact with you, a smug look on his face. “How’s tha’, love?” You nod, tangling your hands in his curls.
“Yeah Harry, please,” you moan. Harry sucks harshly at your clit, pulling off loudly, the sound echoing throughout his minimally furnished apartment.
“Please what, pet?” He’s looking you dead in the eyes, a devilish grin on his face while his index finger rubs small circles on your clit. Your chest is heaving up and down quickly as you try to calm your breathing down.
“Please make me cum on your tongue, Harry,” you try pushing his head back down to your cunt, but he doesn’t budge.
“Think I rather like hearin’ you beg like this fo’ me. Enjoyin’ watching you squirm like tha’, love.” Just as your about to beg for him some more to feed his inflated ego, he attaches his lips to your clit once more, this time adding his ring finger into your tight pussy. “You’re tight. Sure you’ll be able to take my cock?” His voice is muffled, and you just barely make out what he says.
You clench around his finger, and he laughs, the vibrations sending a new sensation across your clit. “Y’like thinkin’ about my cock, hmm?”
“Yeah, want you in me,” you beg, lifting your hips up. He grips onto your hips tightly, keeping you in place.
“Can feel yeh gettin’ ready for me, darlin’. Think you can take another one?” You nod, and Harry gently places kitten licks on your swollen clit while he slowly pushes his middle finger into you. You feel full in a way you haven’t felt in such a long time, and he only had two fingers in you. Once he pumps his fingers in and out of you a few times, he goes back to harshly sucking on his clit, moaning every so often so you can feel the vibrations against your cunt.
“Fuck,” you’re moaning loudly, and you pray Harry’s neighbors don’t hear you, knowing how thin apartment walls were.
“So fuckin’ wet for me, doll,” he mutters, adding another finger inside you. The burn feels amazing, and you place your hand on his wrist, urging him to go faster. “Gonna cum in my mouth, hmm? Gonna let me feel ya around m’ fingers?”
“Yes, please, Harry,” you feel yourself nearly there, your orgasm threatening to overtake you at any moment. 
“Give it to me then, Y/N. Cum for me,” he demands. As soon as he says those three words, you’re done for, your body going tense as waves of pleasure roll throughout your body. He doesn’t remove his digits from the your cunt until you’re coming down from your high, placing a kiss to your clit. He laughs as you shudder at the overstimulation. Harry places his three fingers that were just inside of you and his mouth and sucks on them, not once breaking eye contact with you. 
“That was really good,” you tell him, crawling on your knees towards him to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw—Harry’s beaming, a triumphant look on his face.
“Not yet. Gotta make y’ cum one more time. I’m a gentleman, after all.” You know he’s messing with you but also serious, so you lean back on the couch, opening your legs once again.
“Are you gonna take off your clothes too? Why am I the only one that’s naked?” Harry laughs, and you hear the clanking of his belt as he undoes it. 
“You’re impatient, aren’t ya?” you nod, and he pulls down his tenting khakis and tight boxers. His cock springs up, slightly touching his stomach, and he hisses at the feeling. “Hold on a sec.” He gets up quickly, and you hear him hurry to what you assume in the bathroom, rummaging around. He comes back a minute later with a box of condoms, making you laugh.
“Is that a new box of condoms? Have you been holding onto those all week, Mr. Styles?” Harry rolls his eyes and opens the box, ripping open a condom expertly with his teeth.
“Weren’t you just the one beggin’ for me, pet? I’d watch it if I were you,” he jokes, rolling the condom onto his hard length. He leans down to place wet, opened mouth kisses to your breasts. “So beautiful.”
“Are you gonna take off your shirt?” you ask quietly. “I kinda wanna see all your tattoos.” Harry raises an eyebrow at you but unbuttons his shirt nevertheless, throwing it into the mess of clothes scattered around the living room. You reach your hand up, shakily tracing the swallows on his chest, moving down to the butterfly across his stomach and finally to the ferns on his abdomen. Harry’s staring down at you, watching as you delicately touch his skin. “You have so many.” you finally say. He nods.
“Yeah. Some of them I just got for the hell of it. Felt like after I got that first tattoo, it was hard to stop.” He caresses the skin on your thighs, and you shudder again. “Gonna let me get inside that pretty lil’ cunt now?”
“Please.”
Harry aligns himself with your entrance and slowly pushes into you, sharply inhaling as you clench around his length. “Relax, Y/N.’ve got ya,” he tells you reassuringly. “Can’t get inside ya if you’re all tense like tha’.” You can tell Harry’s trying his hardest not to absolutely wreck you, the vein in his forehead very prominent from clenching his jaw so tightly. You grip tightly onto his bicep, biting your lip as you adjust to his size. You were so wet and indescribably turned on that you felt every vein his thick cock had to offer, and you knew you wouldn’t last long once he started moving. By the looks of it, Harry wouldn’t either.
“You can move,” you tell him, squeezing your eyes shut. Harry slowly pulls out of you and then ever so gently sinks back inside you, bottoming out. He lets out a breathy moan, moving one of his hands up to tweak your nipples. “Harder, Harry, fuck.” 
He immediately pulls out of you and slams back inside, the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass echoing in the room. You scream in pleasure, no longer caring if his neighbors hear what you two were doing. 
“Like tha’?” He asks cheekily, working up a steady rhythm. You nod, gripping your boobs to keep them from bouncing. Harry shakes his head, forcefully removing your hands. “Nope, none of that. Wanna see ’em.” He takes both of your hands in one of his, pinning them up over your head. His other hand reaches in between your bodies to rub at your clit, and before you have time to warn him, you’re cumming again, squirting all over his cock. 
Harry throws his head back in pleasure, his thrusts getting sloppy and frantic, and you know he’s seconds away from his own orgasm. You spur him on, telling him how badly you wanted him to come inside of you (even though he was wearing a condom). He stills moments later, shaking above you as he holds himself up with an arm, not wanting to collapse on top of you.
“Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. Why did we wait a whole week to do this again?”
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petriichvrs · 4 years ago
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ONE  YEAR  OF  NOXTMS  /  five  dyanmics  with  two  bonus  !
more thoughts / information under the cut ! 
001.   𝐃𝐔𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.   ( @ddudleys )
every single day, i think about this pair & just how unexpectedly ... brilliant they are. i hope by now my love of dudley is just very apparent, but if it ISN’T - i love his character so, so much, and i think you’re an incredibly talented person for being able to give him this whole personality and existence beyond the end of the books that fits with his canon so well and still gives him his chance to be a good person. dudley & ginny bonding following the war, attending support group together ... ginny telling him wildly incorrect things about the world for a laugh, the fact they have TOTALLY bonded even more over both being sports people, the moment where they held hands at grimmauld place, everything after ... jesus christ ! i can never ever be eloquent enough to express the way they make me feel, and the way that any new little insight into their dynamic be it by meme or by thread just makes them that bit more real to me, but i’m so grateful for this funky pair, and you better know it ! 
002.   𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘.  ( @dolors  )
tell me a year ago that someday i’d actually care about the malfoy family and i’d have FOUGHT you over it - at no point did i ever expect to pick up narcissa, and after i did, i never expected to get such a complex and amazingly thought out lucius to write opposite of. i still remember the moment where blo and i realised you were going to bring him, and the EXCITEMENT we felt at the fact that this individual i already knew semi okay who was writing such an excellent interpretation on hermione was going to bring us a character who can be so polarising, in a lot of ways. the hope ? the willingness to die for you immediately, simply because you were going to DO it ? cherry i cannot believe there was ever a time where we were not friends in the way we are now, and i REALLY can’t remember an instance where i didn’t have malfam + lucissa to get me through my day. they’re my emotional support morally grey family who think of themselves first & foremost and everyone else after, okay ? lucius is a lot of things, and you do such a good job at writing ( and acknowleding ) them, but inside the walls of malfoy manor he’s narcissa’s honey bunch with an unhealthy emotional attachment for his peacocks & brilliant taste in erotica novels for their next book club session. 
003.   𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄 ��𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐈  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.  ( @ofzvbini )​
mozzie, let’s not cut straws on this one : holy fuck. holy JESUS. holy moley. all the holys. here is the thing - my love for blaise zabini as a character / concept and my appreciation for the blaise/ginny dynamic that could exist had NEVER gotten to be mutually exclusive until you came along. never ! it wasn’t something to feel hard done by, or anything, but... i kinda do, now, but for a different reason, which is that you’ve set the bar for characters SO HIGH in general and i’m never ever going to be able to find another interpretation of blaise that even remotely lives up to yours, nor do i think that anyone will ever be on the such a similar wavelength to me, when it comes this connection. the energy all around is just utterly UNMATCHED, and the fact that... even just rereading our replies from the last event to get this excerpt, i realised i wanted so badly to reply again right now immediately, because the sparring of their words and lets be honest, the PALPABLE sexual tension going on in that thread was so genuinely fun and entertaining. i just think you knock it out of the park so consistently with your characters and the connections you write with them. i could have said any of our dynamics - luna + ginny, luna + nazli, luna + narcissa, eulalia + niko, blaise + merry, blaise + narcissa, blaise + niko - YOU GET THE PIC ! i love u moz. please marry me under the moonlight i think it would be very romantic-
004.   𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅.  ( @pclearwaters )
i want in on record that penny clearwater is the love of my life, actually. i want it on fuckin RECORD, because the love i have for this character who gets paid nothing but DIRT in the series all because you took her up & gave her this whole life and character and storyline that made her into... like, a real person ? who makes me feel sometimes ... just very sad, but who also brings me such joy. penny & niko are another example of that fun little thing we do where we throw these totally different characters together and then see what happens ( usually the most perfect of unexpected friendships ). i loved the last thread we did between them most, because it was one of the first chances i had ever gotten to showcase that a side of niko not really seen so often, and his confusion at penny’s genuine beautific happiness was just ... really fun to write and get into. i truly think you do such a good job with penny, and i love the dedication you have to the clearwaters, full stop. here’s to many more of their weird lil interactions ! 
005.   𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘. ( @blondsnake )
six months ago, they were one of the dynamics i chose to talk about in the original meme. when i did it that time, the excerpt i chose was : “i’m sorry,” he tells her, voice cracking, and he doesn’t know what he’s sorry for anymore. for the sins of his father? for ginny’s ruined childhood? for the fact that he is draco malfoy, and not someone else? & the REASON i chose them was at the time we wrote that thread, it felt very... real and raw and human, to me. it felt like we were exposing a nerve. the malfoy / weasley dynamic is expanded on so much when it comes to every other weasley, and ginny’s interaction with the family she has so much of a history with, with the son of the person who really took a key role in what she went through as an eleven year old, was just... so non-existent that getting to touch on it in the way we did felt...  incredbly important, and i remember the thread best for setting the continued tone. 
i’m choosing them now because i never, at any point, thought that we would end up where we are right now. i spend a lot of time, now, thinking about them - i can’t believe i never realised just how similar they were as people, and just how much possibility existed between them, because so much does, and every time we talk more about them, i come away with the feeling that this is a connection that’s like once in a lifetime esque, and i’m SO lucky that i’m writing it with you. you know ? you’re an incredibly talented writer who has four incredibly well thought out characters, and i love that i get to write with them all, because ALL of them are a treat to write with. i always wanna hear your thoughts, i always wanna hear your ideas and concepts, i always love the posts you send me and the things we joke about - almost as much as i love the things we don’t. that first night we realised what we had here came from utter meme and became something very very important to me. i’m always thinking about ‘he gives her a long look’. if you know you know, you know ? !  
006.   𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐕  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅. ( @rcveuse )
saz, i know we’ve only gotten the one thread started so far, and they’re newer... but can i just say, i’m really really glad that you decided to come back to nox, and i’m even more glad that when you did you picked up those specific connections of mine, because they were some of my FAVORITE ones on the page & had never really gotten their dues ? the niko one in particular, that amelia is filling - i remember writing it because i wanted him to have moments of his life that were happy, and the best way i could think to showcase his emotional side was via someone he loved for real. i always said niko loved fiercely and was just as fiercely loyal, but i hadn’t gotten the chance to write it, because he’s a character so difficult to put into positions where he would. he takes a long time to fully bond to people. even after he does... he’s just. odd. it was a v important connection to me, and i love amelia so much, already, and can see exactly what existed in her that he fell for when he did. i’m so excited to write them more, and i can’t wait to see where the dynamic that exists now goes ! 
006.   𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐀 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅  &  𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄. ( @taciiturns )
i love kaela. i know we know this. i know i’ve said it so many times, and i know i’m going to say it again, a million times more - but i really do love mikaela karkaroff, and i already had the niko connection, so i really shouldn’t have been greedy, but.... i didn’t imagine what’s come to exist between kaela & merry at ALL. it’s a very interesting dynamic built from very simple beginnings, and it’s become one of my most enduring merry connections - i think it made her more of a person, and i totally have you to thank for it. they’re such different people from such similar worlds, with such an interest in one another that i have such a difficult time explaining - IT WORKS, it so works, but it works in a way where i kinda have to admit i never even expected it, and i feel like i’m learning more and more about it with merry. that’s a very fun sort of connection to write when it’s with someone who loves their character as much as you do kaela, and i’m endlessly interested in where it’ll go ! 
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corbo-florbo · 4 years ago
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The Rise of Darby Allin and the Desolation of Kenny Omega
The Rise of Darby Allin and the Desolation of Kenny Omega
           August 5, 2020. The return bout of Jon Moxley and Darby Allin. For the veteran Moxley, it’s like looking into a reflection into the past. For Darby, this is yet another opportunity and as we saw, Mox got the win. We saw him pour his heart out, his wish to not end Darby’s career early, his plea for Darby to stay down that he knew would fall on deaf ears. He got the win, despite an interference by Maxwell Jacob Friedman.
           August 12, 2020. MJF launches another promo on Moxley, as arrogant and pompous as ever. Jon has enough and as we saw, attacks MJF, who left himself open by sending his cronies out into the stands, Mox’s usual entryway, though he took the traditional way everyone else does, through the stage and into the ring with a Paradigm Shift before cutting another fantastic promo.
           Here is where the story takes leave from our current reality. Here is where things are going to play out differently than what they will at the time of this writing. Here is the rise of Darby Allin.
           The next few episodes of Dynamite go on without Darby, yet on Saturday, August 22nd, Mox has to contend with Ricky Starks, who claims that it wasn’t Moxley that pinned him him on July 29th, and that Mox hasn’t faced him one-on-one, therefore hasn’t defeated him. Moxley accepts, but Starks has to go it alone, as his current associates, Taz and Brian Cage, are not allowed at ringside, nor on commentary, leaving just Jim Ross and Tony Schiavonne for the duration of this match. Taz and Cage are only allowed to spectate from backstage. The adrenaline from MJF’s shenanigans from the earlier week charges Moxley up through the first part of the match, so much so that he loses focus and Starks finally gets the upper hand and is afflicting some nasty hits on Moxley. But not for long. It’s Jon Fucking Moxley we’re talking about here (though the jury’s still out on Fucking being his middle name.). He feeds on the agony, like it fuels his engines. Moxley is sending a love letter to pain as usual, stamped and sealed with the Paradigm Shift and secures another win. He stamps this message to MJF with a promo about how he’s tired of the politics, of all the bullshit. Once they’re in the ring, the fun is over and it’s going to be a bloodbath.
           In the leadup to All Out, MJF taunts Moxley in his politician-like promos. Learning from August 12th, MJF ensures that the entrances are blocked out. The two finally are forced to meet up on the go-home episode before the pay-per-view, much to the chagrin of the Burberry scarf-wearer. MJF lashes his tongue in a verbal assault, the types he’s known for, probably calling him the Lunatic Cringe, calling back to his days as Dean Ambrose in WWE. All Mox does in this meetup is remain silent. His expressions tell the story, as a smile spreads across his face. Whatever he is smiling about, it can’t be good for his challenger.
           Still, there is no Darby. Until the Saturday of All Out, that is, albeit in vignette form. Similar to his other black-and-white vignettes, Darby announces he will be back, but different. He’s tired of leaving all the time and coming back, putting himself on the shelf because he knows he needs to work a better strategy, but he refuses to compromise his style. So he’s taking a vow. A vow of silence, a vow to polish his abilities. Only when he obtains a title will he break this vow. He knows he can talk with the best of them, but he’s doubting if he can walk with them. Darby announces he will reveal a manager the next Wednesday’s Dynamite, and as the vignette fades to black, you can hear the sound of cars screeching.
           Later on in the main event, Moxley and MJF have their No DQ main event bout. Always the cowardly heel, MJF cries and screams at the tortures Moxley conjures up. Yet for some reason he doesn’t surrender, most likely having forgotten how to submit and give up. Wardlow helps slow Moxley down, but not stop him outright. Mox even gives a Paradigm Shift on Wardlow to take him out of the equation. While he’s distracted, MJF takes the opportunity to bring out his ring, the same one that gave him so many unclean wins before. As Moxley reenters, he is met with that same ring, and his head, according to Jim Ross, is “busted wide open”, and as the crimson flows down his face, the champion smears it across his face like it’s war paint and licks his lips. MJF kneels on both knees and begs for mercy. Mox reaches in his pocket and brings out not mercy, but a steel chain. As he wraps it around his fist, Mox finds himself victim of a low blow, and MJF brings him up, gives him a DDT as a middle finger and after the pinfall, MJF is now champion and his smug grin is wore as proudly as is his new belt. The King of Violence has been dethroned by the one who wears the Burberry scarf. A new era is ushered in for AEW.
           The Dynamite following All Out continues with everyone’s storylines in the fallout of the pay per view. MJF is celebrating his win and living it up with a shit-eating grin and continues his boasts of how he’s going to bring All Elite Wrestling into a new era and establish the promotion as the top one, the new big thing. He carries himself with that same air that leaves many wishing they could wipe off the smug expression on his face. This goes on in the middle of the show.
           Main event time of this episode happens, and Darby Allin walks to the ring alone. He carries a microphone in hand though he says nothing. No dramatic, grand gesture, nothing but a glance from him towards the entrance and that same screeching tires from the All Out vignette sounds off in the arena, and a funky, yet vaguely familiar guitar riff (at least vague enough to avoid copyright issues) introduces Allin’s manager and mouthpiece. Out comes a man with a red and black, unbuttoned and torn flannel shirt with a black shirt underneath comes out, finger-guns a-blazin’. With a “BANG BANG!”, Mick Foley enters the ring and is handed the microphone by Darby.
 Foley expresses his gratitude that Darby invited him to this pardukey, a word he uses as a synonym to “party”. Foley then describes himself as not Foley, but as Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack then informs Darby that he’s on Jon Moxley’s side as far as going too extremes goes. That isn’t to say Darby can’t be extreme, but that he needs to be “controlled chaos”. With that, Darby could be a force to be reckoned with. With that, Darby can be championship material. Though Darby is a phenomenal, sensational act that captures the hearts of many, Cactus and Darby believes this training can elevate Darby to another level entirely. What is now a beautiful car wreck may soon become a massive pileup on the highway that is Darby’s career. Cactus ends the promo by saying he knows Darby is serious and has that fire in his soul, the same fire that fueled him in the bingo halls and ballrooms from the ECW days. This vow of silence, while unnecessary, keeps Cactus Jack ready to groom Darby into AEW’s next champion.
In the following weeks, Darby reels back his intensity, being more technical in his approach. So much so that people begin wondering if they’re getting the watered down version of the Darby Allin we all know and love. Jobber after jobber, Darby goes on a winning streak. Despite this new success, Darby’s body language indicates he is unfulfilled. In Cactus’s promos, he brings this up, that he doesn’t want Darby’s body to get nasty and banged up like his is and like how Moxley’s is going to be. Even entering shoot territory, Cactus mentions how Kenny Omega’s body seems to be slowing down due to the strain of the New Japan Pro Wrestling matches taking a toll on him, catching the ire of The Best Bout Machine, which will come into play later.
As Full Gear approaches, Darby and Jungle Boy start their rivalry. With mutual respect, there is little drama between the two. In a Road To Full Gear YouTube video, Cactus Jack mentions how Darby is leaps and bounds improved as a wrestler. That this may prolong the young man’s career. Then reveals that Darby is being groomed in the ECW way, to go normal in regular episodes and to let out all of the pent up carnage at pay per views. Cactus Jack confesses he is scared for Jungle Boy, stating there is still time for him to drop out of the match. Meanwhile, Jungle Boy describes how he wants to bring more prominence to the Jurassic Express name. On a winning streak himself, Jungle Boy strives to prove he is the better of the two.
Come Full Gear, Darby and Jungle Boy give it their all, with Cactus Jack and Luchasaurus with Marko Stunt in their corners respectively. Darby puts his body on the line, and even lands the nasty moves like the Coffin Drop. He’s focusing his bloodthirst so well, which meshes well with the aerial style of Jungle Boy. That proves to not be enough to escape Darby, however. While Marko and Luchasaurus try to prevent Darby from using weapons, he lands some tin can and 4x4 plank offence on Jungle Boy. The young Jack Perry is having the worst time, and Cactus is reveling in it. Darby then stops this, satisfied with the blood and is pleased to see Jungle Boy hasn’t given up, struggling but finally getting on his feet. All for naught, however, as he’s back on the floor, and Darby is trying to break his fingers. With tears streaming and blood flowing, Jungle Boy taps out. Darby secures this pay per view win.
Meanwhile, MJF still has the AEW title. But Cactus assures Darby that MJF is further down the line and needs to focus on a new target, one who has week in and week out has been defending his title, the TNT Championship. Cody Rhodes. Cody challenges Darby on an episode of Dynamite, but Darby declines, opting instead to take him on at Revolution. Instead, Brian Pillman Jr. makes his Dynamite debut against Cody, and gives it his all, but Cody gets the win, with the help of a Coffin Drop, as to send a message to Darby.
Cody gives in and asks yet again for Darby to challenge for the TNT title at Revolution and Darby accepts but only if it’s an unsanctioned, No DQ match. This match starts off with both men, full steam ahead. Darby shows how he’s continued to grow even more. Reversing all of Cody’s moves, despite Arn Anderson’s coaching and tips, Darby proves to be a slippery one. Then Cody brings out a sledgehammer, and gets a lick in on Darby, but that’s not going to be easy. Darby rolls out to Cactus Jack, who hands him a bag, which turns out to be thumbtacks as Darby empties it into the ring, which both men find puncturing their skin. On the face of Cactus Jack is a look of worry. This match is a mirror to the past for him, in another life, in another place, with another wielder of a sledgehammer. After an intense near-count, Darby kicks out and attempts to reverse the pin with a roll-up but Cody breaks out at two. As both men rise to their feet, Cody clutches at his wrist, as though it’s cramping and then Cody breaks out into a smile, as he’s holding up four fingers. Unbeknownst to Darby, two figures are behind him and a camera reveal shows it to be FTR, who gives Darby a Goodnight Express, giving Cody a win. Unseen by Darby is Tully Blanchard and Arn cornering Cactus Jack, who tries to put up a fight but his old and broken body can’t fight back as well against two men older than him (don’t worry, he doesn’t take any bumps on-camera – it cuts back and he’s on the ground, kayefabe attacked.). This was just an excuse to reveal plans that have been in the works for quite some time, and who better to inflict it upon than the young man they see as a sponge for pain? The group of men standing tall have yet to reveal who their “fourth man” is, but with Tully being present, it’s a good guess as to who it might be given who his client is.
Disheartened, Darby and Cactus Jack at least take solace at the win record Darby has been on. A win so unfairly taken from him doesn’t detract him for long, as it was clearly a dirty win. Darby could have gotten it if he wanted.
It is time to temporarily shift focus to someone else, who has their own story going on, separate from Darby Allin and Cactus Jack. That person is Kenny Omega, pre-Revolution. Cactus’s comments on how Kenny’s work in Japan is taking its toll on him, the jokes on Being The Elite and Dynamite about how he was better as The Cleaner have all rattled Omega. He has enough on his plate already, with a widening rift betwixt he and Hangman Page, still tag team champions. Not only that, but FTR and his own friends in The Young Bucks are STILL not taking Omega and Hagman seriously; the champs are but a mere afterthought for the two teams touting themselves the best tag teams in pro wrestling today. Omega continues to act more unhinged, as the stress is getting to him. It is this stress that reawakens the desire and thirst to prove himself once more. More and more, Omega gets closer to crossing the line. As Hangman joins sides with FTR, he is inevitably betrayed by them as the Four Horsemen trample on him and ride (setting up a feud with him and Cody one day, as the Cowboy saddles to gun down these Horsemen). The Young Bucks, annoyed with Kenny’s siding with Hangman pre-betrayal, alongside wanting to never stop until they prove themselves better than FTR, leave Kenny alone. He doesn’t take this well, as he is used to finding power in his friends and reciprocating it to them. Riho is gone, Ibushi is still in a different promotion, and a moment of rage separates him from Michael Nakazawa on an episode of Being The Elite. But, he does have one more friend. Once again, he and Matthew Hardy team up against Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara. Lately, Jericho’s post-feud with Orange Cassidy has left him more detached from his Inner Circle friends. Sammy has been worried about him, which proves to be a distraction from Hardy. Many of the skits and even on Sammy’s YouTube vlog he tries to appeal to Jericho, to “break down his walls” and have it be like old times. Hardy holds back on his anger in the match, to the point he even raises a chair to Sammy once his back is turned, only to pause and drop it, as Jericho lays on the ground after a kick from Omega. Hardy offers to again help Sammy in the hopes that it may help him and Jericho. However, all that goodwill would not come to fruition as Omega maniacally and comically laughing grabs the chair Hardy dropped and goes ballistic on Sammy, thus disqualifying the two. Hardy, confused and pissed off, confronts Omega, who shoves the veteran down on the mat. After Omega’s departure from the ring, Hardy is looking a little different, a little broken.
Matthew Hardy is gone for a bit, as Broken Matt Hardy challenges Kenny Omega to a match at the Hardy Compound. All of Broken Matt’s shenanigans save him from a reckless Kenny and all of his V-Triggers. Just enough so that he could give Omega a Twist of Fate and roll him into the Lake of Reincarnation. Kenny is not seen for two weeks before his reemergence, not as himself, not as The Cleaner, but as The Destroyer Kenny Omega. A different Omega, he has no pomp and circumstance. He doesn’t build anticipation for his moves, he doesn’t pose, because he doesn’t need fans for fuel; his rage is ample enough to drive him. His mission: to destroy that which All Elite Wrestling has built in singles competition. The Destroyer Kenny Omega goes on a winning streak of his own, decimating foes, former friends, and everyone in between.
Meanwhile, MJF has grown delusional with his power and his wins. He hasn’t eaten a single loss while holding the AEW belt. The rest of the male roster relating to the rest of the story goes as follows: all tag teams are vying to dethrone FTR as tag champs, Kenny is still on his warpath, Hangman is still feuding with Cody, Matthew Hardy has joined Inner Circle, turning them babyface but leading to Santana and Ortiz leaving. Dark Order is claiming more clients, and lost one in Colt Cabana, now going by a detective gimmick, Clue Cabana (complete with Law & Order’s *dun-dun* sound effect). Young Bucks are still struggling against FTR and the rest of the Horsemen, who seem to be targeting the duo.
Believing himself invincible at this point, he issues a battle royale challenge for a Blood and Guts two week series on Dynamite. Night one has ten competitors: Jon Moxley, Darby Allin, Kenny Omega, Shawn Spears, Billy Gunn, Jungle Boy, Brian Pillman Jr., Griff Garrison, Brodie Lee, and Luchasaurus.
Shawn Spears, long since having been revealed as a member of Cody’s Four Horsemen stable earlier, post-Revolution initially has the upper hand as they interfere and eliminate Gunn, Pillman, and Garrison. As Spears cockily celebrates the thinning herd, Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus eliminate him. Before the duo celebrates, Jungle Boy manages to send his dinosaur friend over the top rope. Heartbroken, Luchasaurus gives Jungle Boy a look of solemn understanding and exits. At this point, Kenny Omega eliminates Jungle Boy from behind, with a sinister look on his face. Brodie Lee and Jon Moxley go at it, and Dark Order tries to eliminate Darby. In this chaos, Kenny is incapacitated and sent rolling under the bottom rope. Darby breaks out and incapacitates the thugs, but Brodie Lee manages to eliminate Jon Moxley. Disappointed he couldn’t go toe-to-toe with Moxley again, Darby refocuses. Brodie tries to send Darby over the top rope but he hangs on and grabs Brodie, sending him over too, and Brodie loses his grip. Before he can celebrate, Darby is face-to-face with The Destroyer Kenny Omega. Kenny’s finger is on the trigger, but he can’t pull it. He doesn’t hit Darby at all, turning his back while Darby is in defensive position. He simply leaves the arena as Moxley and Brodie lay unconscious and Cactus enters the ring to congratulate Darby. Darby advances to night two to face MJF.
And the second night of Blood and Guts goes on. Main event: Darby vs MJF. Due to frequent interferences by Cactus Jack and Wardlow, they become barred from the fight. For the first time in a while, On this March evening, Darby and MJF deliver a match for the ages. MJF fueled by his cockiness, delusions of grandeur, and false invincibility, puts up a great fight, without resorting to underhanded tactics. He proves that he’s pound for pound a force to be reckoned with and sends Darby on his back on multiple occasions, yet he gets back up each time. Darby has ascended, near godlike in the ring. Desperate, MJF finally tries to sneak a hit with his ring, but it doesn’t faze Darby all too much. He drinks in the pain like a fine wine and to show his appreciation for how he got to where he is, Darby takes out MJF with not a Coffin Drop, but the Mandible Claw. One, two, three and Darby is now the AEW World Champion. Confetti drops and Mick Foley, dropping the Cactus Jack name, celebrates with his pupil in a win a long time in the making.
           Mick Foley schedules with Tony Khan, a Darby Allin Appreciation Night, who hesitant in his modesty, barely accepts. Mick waxes poetically about how much this journey meant to him, and that now he has done his job, he’s ready to head back home. Asking Darby if that is fine with him, if Darby is ready to continue his path alone, as he proved at Blood and Guts, Darby finally breaks his vow of silence, answering with “Thank you, Mick.” The two embrace in a tear-filled goodbye and as Mick leaves, the show closes out with Jon Moxley entering the ring to challenge Darby at Double or Nothing, only to be interrupted by The Destroyer Kenny Omega on the Titantron, to also throw his proverbial hat into the ring, to make the Double or Nothing match a triple threat for the AEW World Title. But he wants it in a match Darby and Moxley are all too familiar with, a deathmatch. A triple-threat deathmatch.
           Double or Nothing’s main event is the host for said deathmatch. All three men finish their entrances and stand in the ring, ready to go. Darby Allin, stoic and ready; this is the moment he’s truly been waiting for. Jon Moxley, eyes not on former rival Kenny, but on Darby, he is ready to see what this young star is capable of when pitted with him. Kenny, gritting his teeth, glares holes right through both opponents, and he’s the first to strike once the opening bells ring. V-Trigger to Moxley, and a dive to Darby’s legs, and Kenny stands tall. Both veteran and rising star must team up against this wild card. They split up, bringing out their own weapon of choice: Darby’s skateboard and Moxley reveals a barb-wire baseball bat. Kenny no-sells both, yet they do indeed leave their mark. As far as he’s concerned, he doesn’t need a weapon for his body is a weapon. Constantly knocking them to their feet, neither man can stop Omega. Both men are seen but not heard discussing something very quickly outside of the ring, while Omega is in hot pursuit. Darby low-blows Omega as he closes in and Moxley grabs out and unwraps some barb-wire and ties Kenny’s wrists to the ring post. Then it’s time for Mox and Darby to finally go at it the way they were meant to, mano-a-mano. It is at this point the two are almost at the same level. Moxley and Darby mix the technical, the acrobatic, and the painful (Moxley almost has a bent finger because of Darby, for example). The right amount of brutal, Darby is getting the most offense in. Perhaps it is because of his youth that he is faster, which forces Moxley to change his strategy, and sneaks in a Paradigm Shift. Fearing that may not be enough, Moxley removes a turnbuckle pad opposite the side Kenny is still tied to (but almost wriggled out of, to gross effect), and drags Darby to the aforementioned exposed turnbuckle. As he readies to introduce Darby’s head to it, the youth shakes free and instead slams Mox’s head into it, who then writhes in agony on the mat. Kenny is now free from his constraints, but a Coffin Drop and a pin later, and Darby has retained against both men. Kenny, having been just inches from victory, strikes Darby with a kick to the midsection followed by a One-Winged Angel, only for Omega to then be met with a Paradigm Shift by Moxley, back on his feet again. Kenny is out, selling it to the blood loss (which isn’t actually that much because I’m not a monster.), is put away by this. Mox then pulls Darby to his feet, as he tries to recuperate. Coming to, Darby finds his hand raised by Mox and the referee, as he is handed his belt back. Almost a year in the making, and Darby finds himself embraced by who some may consider as his father figure in AEW. Lowering his belt, he soaks this moment in. After this, the two men leave, but three others enter.
           The Young Bucks and Hangman Page, who earlier in the week on an episode of Being the Elite reunite. They have been reducing their distance from one another, and still they cannot contend with the Four Horsemen. They give in and admit they all need each other. Page, as much as it pains him after what he did to Kenny, suggests making up with him. Back to the present, as Kenny slowly rises to his feet, the trio try and appeal to him, but he shakes his head and leaves.
           Each subsequent episode of Being the Elite and Dynamite both feature the active members of The Elite coping with each subsequent issue with the Four Horsemen. Kenny is still on his rise, with his loss in the triple threat the only blemish on his win record. Fyter Fest approaches, and he’s still distant, but after his match with Jungle Boy ends in a no-contest due to the 4HM appearing, they’ve got his attention. It isn’t until they stop his match against Brian Cage at Fight For the Fallen before it even begins by taking out Cage that Kenny has had enough. As if to answer an unknown call, the Bucks and Hangman appear for backup and the four members of The Elite stand tall over their former friend Cody and his new friends. Kenny, however, leaves the trio behind.
           Next week’s BTE sees Clue Cabana approach Kenny, who for once, doesn’t lash out (as it is with the long-running gag in their skits), but invites Cabana in for a talk. Cabana details how he felt going down a dark path in Dark Order, and how he felt it separated him from his former self and his former friends. He says how only recently he reached out to the members of SCU, who are all still doing their own thing at the moment and renewed his friendship with them. Cabana mentions that sometimes you can’t ever leave family for too long, and that Kenny belongs to the friends he’s made along the way and vice versa. Kenny’s demeanor thus changes in the passing weeks.
           All Out approaches, and in the leadup on BTE and Dynamite, Kenny builds to finally, firmly reuniting with The Elite. They declare the four of them will challenge the 4HM on the pay per view, but Kenny rejects it. He says he failed them, that they lost it all and he lost them. He should have been there for them but wasn’t. Kenny states he must do this alone, that he will take on the four of them in a handicap match. There’s no talking him out of it, so instead they give their blessing. Not just them, but Nakazawa and Hardy (alongside his friends in the Inner Circle) as well. The managers of the Four Horsemen, Arn & Tully, have finally won against their foe, Dusty by corrupting his son Cody, to the chagrin of Dustin Rhodes, who also had been pleading with Kenny. Despite all Cody as done to everyone, he is still family. Kenny takes it upon him to knock some sense into him, as well as destroying the stable (might as well, he’s still “The Destroyer” Kenny Omega.).
           Match time at All Out, with the Horsemen awaiting the Best Bout Machine. Once again forgoing the pomp and circumstances, Kenny does not pose on his way to the ring, but he does seem to be breathing in the atmosphere in a way reminiscent of how he used to be. Now in the ring, he looks to his foes, hesitates, and finally lets out that pose, that iconic pointing with a cocky grin. The opening bell rings and the Horsemen attack. Soon, they all have him on the mat, but seconds later, he bursts out, cleaning house with the four of them. They set themselves up and he knocks them back down. Soon come the chairs, and they knock him down once again, and again, and again. The last chair shot, delivered by Shawn Spears, sends Omega flat. But he rises once more because he has to. Everyone is depending on him. He must destroy that which is destroying his former friend. A superkick to both Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler of FTR, a Buckshot Lariat to Shawn Spears, and to finish off Cody, he attempts to do a V-Trigger and a One-Winged Angel, but all fail. As a last resort, he takes the battered Cody, and gives him a Bionic Elbow, the same move Cody’s father Dusty used. Covering for the pin, Kenny Omega is the victor. He didn’t win a title, but he won something more: the fifth member of The Elite, Cody. As his now former stablemates lay on the ground, Cody shakes the hand of Kenny, and brushes Arn & Tully away, as Brandi and Dustin meet him at the entrance ramp.
           Kenny embraces The Elite as they greet him. What he’ll do next, he’s unsure of. Whether it’s returning to tagging with Page, challenging Darby for his title, or something different, Kenny has regained himself. Whatever he does next, he will make sure it’s elite.
Deleting this soon, but I’m tagging @adriennegabriella and @mith-gifs-wrestling for this, hope you guys like it before I sent it you-know-where! *wink wink*.
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thanksjro · 5 years ago
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Everyday Is Like Sunday: Everyone Hates Huffer
This is technically a Christmas story, modeled after A Christmas Carol, but I’m covering it now because time is an illusion, god has abandoned his creations to chaos, and I’m on the downswing of a depressive episode so nothing actually matters!
I’m kidding. It’s mainly because some of this stuff is very difficult to find, and trying to save this thing for a later date isn’t going to work with how the lineup’s currently looking. In that I don’t have anything prior to Roberts’ stint with IDW available to me at the moment that hasn’t already been gone over.
This isn’t even the only Christmassy story Roberts did back in the TMUK days- there’s a comic out there that he worked on with Jack Lawrence that’s meant to be another sort of holiday special starring Optimus Prime. He just really likes Christmas, I guess.
Anyway, let’s get into Everyday is Like Sunday!
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Oof, that font. My inner graphic design nerd is screaming.
It’s the return of Matt Dallas! Dallas was the artist Roberts worked with for Liars, A-to-D, the prequel comic to Eugenesis. Having looked into the guy a bit since I covered that, I found that he was everywhere during the TMUK days, and even headed the Transtrip publications. His credits are impressive, to say the least.
Our story begins with Kup fighting Unicron.
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Would you look at all that detail! Check out that six pack, dude’s ripped. It’s a good thing this is the only time we’ll see the Chaos Bringer, because that must have taken ages.
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Yep, this Unicron is an illusion, and not even one that’s diegetic to the characters. Well, except Kup. Huffer, the resident stick-in-the-mud, glass-half-empty, complete-and-total grump, has taken it upon himself to mess around with Kup while he’s passed out in his easy chair after a few too many, because what the hell else his there to do on this starship? That cord in Huffer’s hand is plugged into the side of Sup’s head, so he’s just pouring this dream narrative straight into his brain. Hot Rod is, understandably, a little weirded out by this, and invites Huffer to instead enjoy the day, because it’s Christmas!
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He does have a bit of a point- Christmas isn’t exactly a thing on Cybertron, and just because they have it on Earth, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily stuck with everyone as much as it has with you, Hot Rod. I doubt Huffer would care, even if it was a Cybertronian holiday.
If that last little line reads a bit oddly, that would be because it’s actually a song lyric that’s wormed its way into the dialogue. This comic is named after a song by Morrissey called- what else?- Everyday is Like Sunday. It’s a pretty good listen, I recommend you take a listen. It really matches the tone for Huffer’s whole situation.
The situation that is his personality.
Huffer’s in a mood. He’s always in a mood, but he’s particularly incensed now, because they’ve been scooting around in space for almost a year and haven’t actually done anything. Arcee listed off all the things they’ve accomplished, because she wants him to either lighten up or shut up, but he brushes all that off, because he can’t stand to be wrong, either. And then Bluestreak has to go and open his mouth, having the audacity to suggest that Huffer might actually have an emotion other than general displeasure and perhaps even- gasp!- MISS Earth.
This sets Huffer off, and he goes on a brief tirade on how he doesn’t give two hoots about the Earth. The only reason the tirade is brief is because Ebony decides that enough is enough and outright attacks him.
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You probably don’t know Ebony, and that’s okay. From what I can gather, she’s someone’s OC. Not sure who, but she’s got to belong to someone. She looks like she turns either into a wolf or some sort of big cat, and she’s had enough of Huffer’s bad attitude. She says what everyone’s been thinking, and offers to kill him in a sort of roundabout way if life is really that fucking terrible.
Huffer decides he’s had enough, and asks where the escape pod is. This ship doesn’t have an escape pod, but Hot Rod offers to drop him off at the first planet they pass. Bumblebee suggests they just go ahead and let him off here. Everyone’s about had it with Huffer, and trust me when I say the feeling seems to be mutual. There’s literally an entire page devoted to him just insulting everyone and listing off all the reasons he can’t stand them.
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Bluestreak looks genuinely offended, like he can’t believe Huffer would even go there.
Huffer fights dirty, too. He goes after things people have zero control over, like their age and how they’re built. Just flat-out rude. He attacks folks who aren’t even present, calling Prowl uptight and Nightbeat a lackey.
We cut over to the two of them having a discussion about the order of the shuttle they’re on, and how things are going to have to change, then it’s back to Huffer acting like a jackass.
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You’re just saying that to be hurtful and ridiculous.
Huffer storms off into the darkened hallway, wishing a sarcastic Merry Christmas to everyone. The door shuts behind him, and then everything promptly explodes.
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There’s a lot going on here, but let’s try to break this down a bit. We’ve got some full-stasis off in the corner, with Eric Cartman and He-Man’s Oracle featured as pieces, the vacuum from Teletubbies, what might be a porno mag in the lower right corner, and a TI-83 calculator. Damn, guess Huffer got what he wanted.
No, what’s really happened is that the shuttle’s been hit by an asteroid. Considering I haven’t seen anyone actually manning this rig, I suppose it was only a matter of time before they floated into something big enough to hurt. Prowl intercoms for everyone to head for the bridge and pull up the defense shielding.
Off in the hall, Huffer’s face down on the ground. He tries to get up, but the shuttle keeps hitting things, even with Bluestreak at the wheel now.
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That’s what I want to know! Look at our detective, asking all the right questions! However, we don’t have time to answer that, because, unfortunately, Nightbeat isn’t our main character this go around.
Huffer is.
Our little bastard man is looking a bit crispy, but seems otherwise okay. He certainly isn’t feeling bad enough to not make a stink when someone has the utter gall to try and help him to his feet. His tune changes though, when he sees just who this kind samaritan is.
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Fusion’s a dude who’s only claim to fame is biting it. I suppose that it’s fitting he be our Ghost of Christmas Time-Is-A-Perception-Based-Concept.
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Fun little detail about Dallas’ work- he makes everyone outrageously shiny. These sons of guns have been at war for millions of years, and should probably be scuffed all to hell, but Dallas is just like “haha, nope! Break out the polish!” and everyone is glossy enough to apply lipstick with. It doesn’t even stop at characters; in Liars, A-to-D, Mirage fires a missile that you can see Sixshot’s reflection in as it flies towards him.
Fusion, when asked if he’s a hallucination, simply says that he’s as solid as Huffer, and when their hands touch, THIS happens:
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Which I suppose means they’re embarking on a journey of the spiritual variety. That, or Huffer’s FINALLY proposing.
The pair materialize on Cybertron, 50,000 vorns in the past, which is well over 4 million years. A vorn is equal to 83 years, which is oddly specific if you ask me, but now you know! Huffer, of course, wants to know how all this nonsense is possible, and just what the hell Fusion’s deal is.
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Huffer’s not one for mystical bullshit.
Being a bit short on time, Fusion has Huffer look through a window at a meeting with all the bigwigs. They’re discussing Huffer’s Ark designs, and just who exactly is going to man this thing once it’s ready. Emirate Xaaron suggests that Huffer come along, and strikes just the cutest little pose while he does.
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Seriously, look at this, he’s precious, even with his funky grate mouth.
Nobody can mistake Huffer as being inexperienced or stupid, but the problem is nobody friggin’ likes him. Huffer, of course, takes issue with that, grumbling to himself and completely missing Fusion’s departure. When he finally takes notice, his new guide is already in place: Grimlock. The star wipe makes a return, and they’re off to the next scene.
Meanwhile, back on the shuttle, Bluestreak’s having some trouble with maneuvering around all these asteroids. Hopefully they’ll be okay until Huffer’s done with his Christmas special shenanigans.
Huffer and Grimlock arrive at Earthbase in the present day, in the middle of a rip-roaring good party.
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Dammit, who let Cosmos into the booze? You know he can’t hold his liquor.
Everyone hates Huffer so fucking much, and I honestly can’t fault them for that. He’s kind of a festering wound of a person.
Grimlock disappears while Huffer’s busy watching everyone’s testament to their dislike for him. Huffer star-wipes out onto the next scene, interrupting him before he can say the fuck-word.
Back with Bluestreak, he’s nearly gotten them out of the asteroid field.
Huffer appears on what might be a moon, and meets his final guide.
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Fuck, he’s become aware of the narrative! Shut the comic down, quick, before another Swearth happens!
Our ghost reveals himself to be Huffer, roughly 200 years in the future, and he’s looking ROUGH.
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Oh no, he’s dehydrated.
Because he never learned to act like a decent person, the shuttle crew is going to dump him on a uninhabited moon in a couple weeks time, and then that’ll be it.
And then we get into the character study portion of the comic.
Huffer only bitches as much as he does because he’s self-conscious and doesn’t want to let people in, for fear that they’ll see what a useless hunk of junk he is.
Of course, current Huffer still can’t get over himself- even when it’s just he, himself, and him- and has to continue poking holes in this revelation, claiming it to be no more than a dream that’s presenting him with a fundamental personal truth in an easy-to-swallow pill.
These couple of panels are very dialogue-heavy, taking up a majority of the space available, but in the end, Huffer’s last little biting remark is that none of this is real and none of it matters, so just get it over with and send me back. Which Ghost-Huffer does.
Back at the shuttle, they’ve cleared the asteroid field, and it looks like it’ll be smooth sailing from here on. Huffer wakes up, in just a foul a mood as ever, as he stews over all the horrible things he heard about himself during his dreams. It looks like he’s about to return to status-quo, perhaps dooming himself to the fate of Ghost-Huffer, when he overhears Prowl chewing out the rest of the crew. Because no one had bothered to watch the radar, thus nearly killing everyone, he’s going to start tightening his belt and imposing some rules and regulations, as opposed to letting people do whatever they please. He names Nightbeat as his second-in-command, which everyone seems okay with (except Kup, for whatever reason).
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Just something about this interaction Roberts really enjoys, I guess.
As part of this little crackdown, Prowl’s ordering a round-the-clock manning of the shuttle- half-day shifts. There’s quite a bit of groaning about this, but honestly? I’m not exactly sure how they’ve gotten away with not doing this for as long as they have.
Huffer, in a show of what I assume is the closest thing to kindness he’s performed in years, offers to take the first shift. Nobody fights him on that, and he takes a seat. In the background, Kup asks to have a word with Prowl.
Huffer decides that he ought to lighten up, just a touch, and maybe at least consider not being such a massive jerk.
That decision lasts roughly twenty seconds, and then he gets bored.
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Personal growth is for suckers! IDW Whirl WISHES he was this disconnected from his own conscience.
As he runs off to go be a jackass elsewhere, the shuttle drifts back towards the asteroid field, surely dooming everyone aboard. The end!
This was a fun, somewhat bitter little story that tried its hand at picking apart a narrative that’s been run into the ground. Sorry, Roberts, but nobody’s gonna do it better than A Muppet’s Christmas Carol.
Up next, we’ll be looking at something a little different. Something not written by Roberts, but based on his work.
We’re going to read Eugenesis fanfiction.
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egyptroyal · 4 years ago
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things a new (old/mutual/whatever) rp partner should know about me !
fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests.
I have a lot of muses all spread out on different blogs so, if I can’t choose one of your muses, I’m going to send in a meme for each of your muses. Out of my three primary roleplay blogs, there are four side roleplay blogs. Four of the muses being time lords and every regeneration - incarnation - is a muse of their own. Over at @themadvigilantist​ have 339 V muses, 89 Vin muses, 3 villains; sideblog @tardis500​ has 6 tardis oc muses, here, which is also a sideblog, I have 8 ocs, 12 canonical characters, 52 televised/comic/audio parody portrayals of the doctor. At @pennybraddock​, i have only 1 oc muse. At @drbabygirl​, i have 1 oc, and 4 canon characters. At @thebadtimewolf​, I have a singular time lord main muse with 15 human alternate versions of herself and one angel entity with @nosewitch​ being one singular side blog. Altogether, i have 533 muses, possibly more if I miscounted (or if the doctor ends up getting more that I missed then well shit, i’ll add them later as muses too. So, if you are someone that don’t want a spam of asks your way or thought I would just pick one muse out of your many, you are dead wrong on that and I might not be the blog for you. I’ll slap in a new muse left and right and then think I’m done only to add 20 more out of excitement just to forget about them later on. When I say I am excited to rp with you, I’m excited to throw a small village at every single muse you got unless you pick one first.
I am a very graphic and dark writer with the occasional smut (depending on the blog/muse), that does not censor or tone down their muse but, there are some limits. Just about all of my rp blogs deal with some very heavy subject material, which I tend to write out in great detail. This means you might come across descriptions of scenarios, that are very dark, graphic, disturbing or just drawn out as something that my muse realistically, no one would give/expect that kind of reaction towards in general. However, I have a limit and no, it’s not because it makes me unconfortable writing it, I just get...stuck. Okay, for example with my villain/neutral muses, I can’t write rape. I’ll write with someone that can write that particular subject but, I can’t write it myself because I don’t know how. Murder? You betcha and with detail. Torture? You got it and with trauma. Destroy an entire solar system while making the character feel wracked with guilt over the deaths of billions? Yeah, I can do that with detail on how it affected everyone else on a visual. Rape? Nope, nothing, same goes if you random anons want to just worse stuff, I can’t write it. Don’t know how, won’t know how. Now, that being said, I will never condone any of those behaviors that I describe but, if I can’t write it? Then pick something else. I can tag appropriately but, if my partner don’t tell me to cut to the next day or do fade-to-black in their following response, I’m going to describe that. Why I say depending on the muse is this: some of my muses are into fearplay/edgeplay but, the level where they were probably the reason some of their ‘interests’ are called risk-accepted consensual kinks which, for muses that are vile or evil, y’all gonna have to um, explain it that what you’re doing to them is not a dubcon situation but, a no-dont-get-off-on-this situation-this-is-my-scare-tactic. if you don’t, it’s gonna get real uncensored morticia/gomez real quick and you don’t want it. Other muses on the other hand will actually be scared so, choose (out of the collective 533+ muses) wisely. I’ll give you a list of who is in to what real quick, just ask/im me and i’ll find a generator that show just how much/little they’ll be into a thing.
I use either memes, open starters, greeters as an ice breaker but, also aiming to pre-established starters. So, I tend to make general starter for those that recently follow me in a way that anyone could respond to. I’m not shy to plotting but, for the most part, I’m just testing the waters. We can also im each other, send each other asks or whathaveyou. A jumping board that I might respond to one of your open starters or make a thread out of an answered post that you or I had sent to the other.
I don’t know how to godmod but, if you do it ...don’t be surprised that the muse is gonna fight back?? I only say this because I can’t write physical fight scenes with anyone because I’m so shit at those that I can now say that I have been accused of godmodding (2) twice in the span of a decade on this site by two ppl who (hopefully) live somewhere with free healthcare. Everytime I respond to how my character would counter an attack, there’s always that one person with their muse - that they are clearly in a fight scene - that only I get accused of godmodding out of nowhere. Despite when I look back at my responses on how I word things and I don’t see it (I still don’t. Is there an editor I can ask to look over and what I should reword here??) and the accuser fails to tell me to reword what sentence/paragraph to fix it where it’s not that. If I don’t get a response to what/where the specific bit in my response that made you think/came across as godmodding, then clearly you was godmodding too.                        OTHERWISE, WITH THE REST OF THE PPL I RPED A FIGHT SCENE WITH IN THE SPAN OF THE DECADE, THEY WERE JUST LIKE ‘OH THIS IS FUNKY AND FUN! *CUE TO US VIBIN OVER ANGST IN TAGS WHILE ALSO POKING FUN AT OUR MUSES AND SHIT*’ AND LIKE WE COOL SO MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WRITING STYLE, IT’S JUST YOU MISREADING THE TEXT PRESENTED TO YOU AND NOT ASKING ‘hey what you mean by [action/thing]? could you like rewrite that? i don’t get it, it didn’t sit right could you rewrite it?’ I’LL DO IT, I’LL FIX IT. HELP ME SEE WHAT YOU SEE?? INSTEAD OF JUMPING TO THAT ACCUSATION WITH NO EXPLANATION WHEN A THREAD DON’T GO YOUR WAY?? IT’S NO ANNOYANCE/BOTHER FOR ME TO FIX MY MISTAKES BUT IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT THE MISTAKE IS (while consciously choosing to just point out that in some part of our thread to say only ‘stop godmodding/that was a little godmod-y’ when a muse of mine don’t react/act indifferent to yours and their actions) THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET BETTER, DO BETTER, AND BE BETTER IN MY WRITING WITH YOU IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE REPERCUSSIONS/REACTION OF MY MUSES CHOICE OF RESPONSE?? ok that’s out of my system                                  anyway don’t-don’t-don’t godmod but also, if you think im godmodding when i can’t tell where it is on either side ahahahah, u better fucking tell me which paragraph/sentence i fucked up instead of just throwing that word around when you can’t handle when muses don’t automatically shiver at the sight of yours. if anything, they already been there done that over it.
I’ll make a manip, gifset, draw our muses for our muses. I do that. I do that a lot. Ask me, I’ll do it. I’ll submit/send the drawing privately but, manips and gifsets: I put that on display. I will. Ask me.
Tagged by: @blindeddevil
Tagging: @city-full-of-ocs @idontdosecondchances @takumishinobi @paigeatyourservice @girl-in-the-tardis @followthedrums13 @gingersrockstheuniverse @destinybitten @lonelybxstards @theiracademydaysareover @theserpentsjester & anyone else that wants to/sees this
my entire mood @ #4 but, it was made at 3 AM and i don’t have the voice but, the vibe of yvette nicole brown because i got into community again
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riskeith · 6 years ago
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through my lens, the image of you (1,975)
After his last day on set, professional photographer Lance receives a present from the subject of his photos, Keith. When he opens the gift, he finds out that he has been on the other side of the lens, for the model.
PAIRING: Keith/Lance
RATING: teen and up audiences
TAGS: alternate universe, photographer lance, model keith, except he takes photos too in his spare time, fluff, getting together, confessions
read on AO3 or under the cut
Lance has just stepped foot inside his house, and he’s exhausted. He wants nothing more than to collapse and sleep for sixteen hours straight, except he promised a certain someone he’d open his present the moment got home.
He makes his way to his kitchen counter and takes out the package, after wrestling himself into a chair. The gift is neatly wrapped, he tests the weight, then inspects it from all sides. It’s not heavy, nor intricate. It’s simply rectangular. When he peels away the first layer of wrapping, he recognises what it is immediately. It’s arguably one of the things he’s most familiar with, after all—a photo album.
When Lance was assigned to the collaboration between Voltron and the Marmora, he was beyond excited. It was a huge deal; the two companies were considered the best in their respective fields, so having them work together meant a lot. Lance didn’t know every detail, but there was a rumour circulating that they were doing a merger, and would become a larger organisation called ‘The Coalition’.
More information was revealed later. The shoot would take place over several weeks, and on various sets. Photographers would be working with a single model the entire time, but they’ll get together for group photos at the end. There weren’t many restrictions or themes, just show off the location, and the model as well. Lance didn’t love the fact he was given such freedom of choice, but figured he could work it out with the model, who he soon found out would be Keith.
Keith was the youngest model signed with the Marmora. He and Lance were around the same age, both thought to be ‘prodigies’, the ones who would lead their companies into a golden age. He was, of course, very attractive as well. Lance looked forward to meeting him, and to finding out what kind of a person he was.
The first location was a beach. It was beautiful—brilliant blue ocean, golden sand, picturesque plants. Lance didn’t have any time to admire it though, because he was running late. He sprinted down the gravel path towards the equipment that had already been set up. He cursed, picking up the pace, thankful his camera wasn’t on him.
When he finally arrived, he approached the person closest to him. They were behind a camera, so Lance couldn’t recognise who it was, but that didn’t matter.
“Hey, do you know where I’m supposed to go?”
“No. I don’t know you.”
This shocked Lance. It wasn’t that he was conceited, but everyone knew him. He felt like he was being demeaned.
“Who do you think you are?”
The camera was lowered, and Lance blanched. It was Keith. Keith, who had his hair tied in a low ponytail, wearing a black cap and a red shirt with white palm trees on it. Lance’s face burned, but it wasn’t from the sun, nor embarrassment. Although, he did want to launch himself into the ocean because of that.
“Uh…” Lance was at a loss for words. He had no clue how to apologise. “I didn’t know you took photos.” Lance mentally facepalmed himself. What was he doing?
“Yeah,” Keith eyed him up and down, “I picked it up in my early days. It’s nothing professional though, just a hobby.”
“Ah. Well, sorry about that; you were, uh,” Lance gestured vaguely, hoping it got his message across. He then held his hand out, “I’m Lance.”
Keith looked at it, then up at Lance. There was a pause, during which Lance panicked, thinking he wouldn’t take it, but he did. “I’m Keith,” he replied, giving a firm shake.
Thankfully, Keith didn’t seem to hold any grudges following that disastrous first meeting. He did get his revenge though. For one of their other shoots, they went to a mountain. Every other team stayed at the base, which provided plenty of scenery, but Keith decided he wanted to climb it, and take photos at the peak. It was a smart idea of course, and the view was breathtaking, but Lance suspects Keith just wanted to see him suffer. Lance isn’t unfit, however hiking with all the required equipment was difficult.
The two of them actually get along very well. People were under the impression they didn’t, because they got each other riled up all the time and were always bantering, but really, it was all in good nature.
The ongoing thing was about Keith’s pictures. Lance would always ask to see them, to the point of pestering, because you could tell a lot about a person from the kinds of photos they took, and Lance was very curious about Keith, but the guy never relented. And then, as if to taunt Lance, he’d bring his own camera along to shoots and take pictures while they were there.
Lance was near devastated when the project ended, because it was the most fun he had on a job in ages, and, he’d started falling for the model. It was bound to happen, Lance supposed. Keith was a good-looking guy, and despite the occasional rash behaviour, he only had everyone’s best interests at heart. The two already exchanged numbers, but Lance didn’t know when they’d see each other next. Just before they bid farewell to each other, Lance jokingly asked if he could finally see Keith’s photos now. Keith simply smiled, and handed Lance a present in lieu of a response. Lance didn’t think much of it, and started to accept the fact he’d never see the pictures, but now…
He holds it all in his hands. After opening the photo album, Lance finds a note, written on the inside front cover. It reads:
‘thought it’d be weird to gift you photos of my own stuff, but you were always asking to see, so here.
– k.’
Keith’s handwriting, to Lance’s delight, is scrawly. He does find it endearing to look at—it’s very him, but it’s also comforting to know that not everything about him is beautiful. His photos, though… They’re amazing. He said he wasn’t a professional, but he could definitely go pro if he wanted.
Lance doesn’t need to flip past the first page to know that Keith’s a landscape photographer. Every single shot is scenic—of mountainscapes, of forests, of lakes and oceans. Most are in colour, but a few are black and white. A cityscape is featured occasionally—of different cities’ skylines, of high-rise buildings during the night with lights as bright as stars.
There’s a note next to each image, detailing when it was taken, and where. Most of the locations, Lance discovers, are places Keith has visited for shoots. He wonders if he’ll see ones from theirs. Under that, Keith left little messages, describing the places and his experiences there.
‘olkari; look at those trees, they winded in all sorts of shapes. the people made wood carvings, there may be one of me there.’
‘altea; home to the beautiful juniberry flowers. I thought this grass field covered in pink with the mountains in the background really summed the scenery up.’
‘naxzela; cool as architecture, super funky buildings. it was a ghost town though, eerily quiet. I was more than happy to get out of there.’
‘kosmo; obviously not a place, just a very cute wild wolf I came across. wish I could’ve taken him home with me.’
One photo, when Lance reaches it, takes his breath away. He stops and stares at it, longer than any of the others, and recognises every single detail. It’s his home. If he strains his ears, he can hear it in the distance.
‘veradera beach; gorgeous place. I’m not someone who loves being in the heat, but I wanted to stay out there forever. the water reminded me of the colour of your eyes.’
The last statement brings a blush to Lance’s cheeks, and butterflies to his stomach. He thinks that’s the worst of it, but then he turns the page. 
“What do you take photos of?” Lance asked once, early on. It was one of the only times Keith actually answered.
“Well, not people, that’s for sure,” Keith had replied, with a glint in his eye.
The statement wasn’t true anymore. Because following the photo of beautiful ocean blues, the pages were filled with images of Lance. Most are candid shots—Lance looking off into the distance, or directing someone, or messily eating his lunch. He’s surprised, honestly. For someone who’s around cameras all the time, he sure sucks at noticing when one’s on him. There are a few Lance recalls posing for, thinking it was joke. He can barely process it all right now. The notes, he can handle even less.
‘first meeting; I’m a bit irked the picture is blurry, but I think it represents what happened really well. your first impression was memorable, to say the least.’
‘after our eating contest; at first I wasn’t sure what to think about you. you came off as cocky, but I realised that you had a right to be—you’re good at your art. there was, of course, this side to you as well. I definitely won the competition, by the way.’
‘ethereal; I was just supposed to call you to come back, but I was awestruck. I knew you were hot, but the way you looked standing at the top of the hill, with the breeze gently blowing your hair… that was something else. and in that moment, you were the model.’
‘striking a pose; I already liked you by this point. you were funny, and witty, and I really liked spending time with you. that day I laughed harder than I have my whole life, I swear.’
Lance rereads the message over and over again, to make sure he’s seeing it right. Keith likes him. His feelings are mutual. He starts to look for his phone to contact him, but then he notices something.
The very last photo is missing. Lance does a quick flick through to make sure it hasn’t fallen out, and checks that it isn’t behind another. He starts to panic when nothing turns up, he doesn’t want to have lost something, but then something written next to the empty space catches his attention.
‘score!; I asked you out, and you said yes. this is the first photo of us as boyfriends.’
Lance nearly trips over his feet getting to where his phone is, but he manages to call Keith.
“Hello?” Keith’s voice sounds raspy, and shit, Lance didn’t think about time zones. He’s sorry, but also, Keith sounds really good. His heartbeat increases.
“Hey, it’s Lance.”
“Oh, hey,” Lance hears the smirk in Keith’s voice, “I take that is a ‘yes’ then?”
“You haven’t actually asked me yet, you know.” Lance’s voice trembles slightly, and he’s stalling. He doesn’t know why.
Keith hums, and Lance feels it rumble through the phone to his ear. “I suppose you’re right.” There’s a beat, and then, “Will you go out with me?”
“Yes,” Lance replies, exactly as the note says. It doesn’t say he grins, but he’s beaming.
“Alright. Where are you? I’ll come over.”
“What? You’re—What? I’m in another country right now!”
“And? We have to take that photo, don’t we?”
If there’s one thing Lance has learnt about Keith, it’s that he’s adamant. There’s no changing his mind, not that Lance wants to. “I guess so,” he says, biting back another smile.
They hang up shortly after; Keith goes to catch the next plane out, and Lance impatiently waits for him. He wonders if Keith is bringing his own camera, but gets his out anyways. He also starts thinking about how to one-up this. Curse Keith, and his ingenuity. Lance will get him. In the meantime, there’s a photo album to be completed, and a whole new adventure to be started.
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graphicallysam · 7 years ago
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Para: Sam Asks Mercedes Out
Who: Sam and Mercedes
When: Feb 13-14, 2012
Where: Mercedes’ Locker
What: Sam finally gets the courage to ask Mercedes out
Sam was a little nervous as he approached Mercedes’ locker. He was finally going to ask her out after almost two years of wanting to. He’d broken up with Quinn over a year ago, and though it had been pretty mutual and they’d remained friends, he hadn’t wanted to jump to asking Mercedes out. For one, she was also friends with Quinn, and he didn’t think it was cool for him to just hit on her. For another, she was still his best friend outside of Blaine, and he wasn’t sure she even liked him. But Quinn had started hooking up with Puck a few months ago, and Sam thought she probably wouldn’t care if he asked out Mercedes. So now he was.
Mercedes was having one of those days where everything seemed to go badly. She hadn’t done well on her math quiz, which meant she’d have to really work hard to get her average up. Everyone was talking about Valentine’s Day, which didn’t help her day get any better, and now, her favorite Storm magnet had fallen and slipped underneath the lockers, never to be seen again. She let out a sigh and contemplated just going back home and sleeping off these blues.  She looked up and seen Sam walking over, and it made her smile a little, despite her bad day.  “Please tell me you’re having a better day than me,” she said to him.
He'd been practicing what he wanted to say to Mercedes as he approached. He was happy but even more nervous when he saw her standing there. He'd opened his mouth to greet her, but then she was speaking. It brought him up short. “Uh...oh, are you having a bad day?” he asked, his hopes immediately dashed. He didn't want to ask her, have it be weird, and make her day even worse. “What's wrong?”
“I suck at math, I lost my fave Storm magnet, and Valentine’s Day is coming up and I feel like blech about it, but I don’t want to make anyone else feel bad if they’re happy.” She sighed. “I don’t even know if that made sense.” She looked at his face and tilted her head. “Is everything okay? You look like you have something on your mind.” Sam was her closest guy friend, and they had hung out a lot over the past few years, so she could usually read his face and know if something was up.
Did she hate Valentine’s Day? Had he missed that? He was starting to feel a little panicked. “You don’t suck at math. You’re so smart, and I’m sorry you lost your Storm magnet. Where did it go?” He looked around on the floor but didn’t see anything. “Nothing’s on my mind. Just...it’s nothing.” There was no way he could ask her out now. He was freaking out.
She pointed at the small line where the lockers met the floor. “It got sucked into the void.” She switched out a few books, her attention back on him again. “Sam,” she wrinkled up her nose as she said his name in a soft, sing-song tone.  “Seriously, what’s going on? You don’t have to give me the big brother face, I’ll be fine. You know I struggle with math sometimes.” Which was true, math had always been her struggle class. He really was giving her the face he gave the twins whenever they were needing a pep talk, it was a very cute face.  But it was Sam, every face was ridiculously cute.  And she didn’t hate Valentine’s Day, she just wished that for once she’d actually have a valentine.  The fun thing to look forward too now was that Sam’s birthday was the day after, so there would at least be fun times with him and the twins.
Sam shook his head. “I’m not giving you big brother fce. I don’t even know what that means,” he countered. “Do you want me to Hulk-smash the lockers so you can get it back?” He flexed his muscles and furrowed his brow. “Hulk-smash locker for pretty girl get magnet,” he said in his Hulk tone.
Mercedes started to giggle so hard she had to cover her mouth before she did the laughing snort thing that she hated.  She loved Sam’s voices, he was so good at them, and this one was no exception. “Oh my...I needed that laugh.” She didn’t feel so moody and defeated anymore.  “You always make me smile, Sam, thank you.”  She gave him a quick hug of appreciation.  “Also, no Hulk-smashing the lockers. Even the Hulk can get detention for damaging school property,” she grinned.
“Worth it it will be,” Sam said, switching to his Yoda impression. “I’m glad I made you laugh. I hope it made your day better,” he spoke softly, looking into her eyes a moment. He really loved when she laughed. It made him feel like a king, and the hug she gave him, socked him in the gut. He just really liked her. He wanted to ask her out, but he was really worried that it just wasn’t a good time.
“You always make my day better,” she smiled as she nudged him gently.  It was ridiculous how this gorgeous, sweet, and dorky guy was her best friend.  Did she have a crush, maybe? But she was a pro at keeping that out of her mind.  Mercedes Jones was the queen of secret crushes.  “So, are you going to tell me what you were thinking about earlier? Am I going to have to go Chun-Li on someone? Because you know I will.”
It made him feel even better that he always made her day better, and he could help the grin that widened across his face. “It’s nothing like that. Like no one did anything. I was just kind of thinking about something. I’m good,” he assured her. They were having such a good moment he didn’t want to ruin it.
“Okay.  But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” She closed her locker and then shifted her books to her other arm.  “Wizard Con is just a few months away, I’m sure I’ll find another Storm magnet, I think I just felt a little funky about the C on my math quiz.”  She was feeling more positive now that Sam had come along, he had the effect on her.
“I just like a girl...I don’t know if she likes me back. I was gonna ask her out, but now I don’t know,” he answered, just so she wouldn’t think something was really wrong. “We’ll make sure you get a new awesome Storm magnet, and you’ll do better on the next quiz.”
She gasped softly. “Sam Evans, how did I not know you’re crushing on someone?  Look, if she has any sense at all she will be completely honored and thrilled to be asked out by one of the hottest, funniest, sweetest, and talented guys at this school.” She replied with honesty. “I can do recon if you want, chat her up and scope out her response before you ask?  I’m your friend, I can be your wingwoman.”  She was completely behind Sam dating. The thing with him and Quinn didn’t last long, even though they made a visually stunning couple.  Sam was too awesome a guy to not have a girlfriend.  She had clearly forgotten about math quizzes and magnets now with this new mystery girl on topic.
Sam paused. He hadn’t expected her to get that interested in his “crush.” Now he wasn’t sure what to do. “Um...no, I don’t think you should ask her,” he said quickly. It wasn’t like she could just ask herself. “Um...she probably doesn’t like me. It’s okay. I’m fine with it.”
He was acting, weird, but maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it with her, so she decided to let that subject drop.  “Oh...okay. So are you excited about your birthday?” She asked with a grin.  She had bought his present before Christmas, and then she had taken the twins to get his gifts last month.  Shopping with those two had wore her out!
Nodding, Sam smiled. “Can’t believe I’m about to be seventeen. That’s crazy. Are you still coming over to celebrate?” he asked. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend, he still wanted to spend his birthday with her. “I think the rule is that you have to let me beat you on my birthday. It’s a must.”
“Of course I’m going to be there.  If I thought I wouldn’t get grounded by my parents and yours, I’d pillow smack you at exactly midnight just to wish you a happy birthday,” she smirked. Her eyebrow raised with amusement as she listened to him make his case for letting him win at a game.  “But it’s so fun to see you pout when I beat you!”
“Well, are you going to Sugar’s Valentine’s party? You’ll probably see me at midnight. I’ll let you spank me if you want,” he joked, winking at her. He wondered if she ever thought it was weird that she was the only person he wanted to spend his birthday with besides Blaine.
She shook her head. “Everyone that’s going is either coupled up or going to hook up, I’d be the biggest third wheel ever.  I might come just so I’m not the only one that didn’t at least make an appearance, and I mean, you’re offering up a birthday spanking as incentive.” She laughed softly, covering up the fact that the idea of her smacking his butt had made her face flush with warmth.
Sam nodded. He’d wanted Mercedes to be his date so that they could be coupled up, but he didn’t think she’d want that. “Well, I��ll be there single to, you know…” he said slowly. “I...wanted to ask the girl I liked, but, again, that’s not gonna work out….but I did want to know if you like just hate Valentine’s Day or…?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t hate it. I’m just kinda bummed that I never have a valentine. You see all the flowers, balloons, stuffed animals and cute stuff, and it’s never for you.  Ugh, I sound so pitiful, sorry.”  She turned to look at him.  “Don’t give up on that girl, okay?  She may like you and think she doesn’t have a shot, so she doesn’t say anything.”  She had no idea who she was, but she was really lucky to have Sam interested in her, even if she was clueless.
Her words gave him an idea, and he felt a lot more confident about maybe having a shot with her. “Yeah, I won’t, but hey, I need to head to the store. I’ll see you tomorrow in front of the lockers. Just...meet me here before class, okay?”
“Uhm...okay,” she wasn’t sure which one of them was having the most off day.  His mind was clearly somewhere else at the moment  “See you tomorrow.”
---
Sam had gone immediately to the stores after school, picking up various items to enact his plan. He arrived early the next day and got to work on her locker. She’d given him her combination once, and he’d used it to break in, filling it with chocolate, flowers, and a teddy bear. Then he taped the hand drawn card he’d made to the door. The last thing he needed to do was secure the balloons to her locker, and then he was done. He hadn’t been able to say it the day before, but he was going to ask her today.
Mercedes was humming softly to herself as she made her way down the hall to her locker.  She could see some balloons and could feel herself already wanting to roll her eyes.  That was until she began to get closer, and realized they were on her locker.  She actually just stood there for a moment, wondering if someone had gotten the wrong locker number.  The very cute card on the locker door confused her even more because the art style seemed very familiar. She carefully opened her locker, not wanting to mess up someone’s well thought out surprise, even though they got the locker number wrong.  But once she did, she could no longer say there was a mistake as she came face to face with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear, and candy.  She was stunned to say the least, standing there in awe as she looked at everything.
He walked over across the hall just out of sight so that he could watch her reaction when she saw all of the things he’d done. She looked genuinely surprised, and it made no sense to him that no one had done this for her before. He needed to ask her out. He wanted to be with her so badly, more than he’d wanted to be with anyone. He just needed to do it. It had been like almost two years since they’d met, and he’d liked her for forever. He just needed to man up and do it. He took a deep breath and walked over to where her locker was and smiled. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said with a large grin.
She looked at Sam slowly, then looked back at her locker before looking at him again. “You did this?” She whispered in disbelief, the look on her face still showing surprise.  Sam Evans doing something like this was not surprising, he was a very all in kind of guy, and she loved that about him.  But she just didn’t get why he did this for her.  Sure, she got stuff from her parents and brother, but as close to her as Sam was, he wasn’t obligated like family.
Nodding, Sam leaned against the lockers. “Yeah, I did. I just...you said no one’s ever done this for you, and that doesn’t make any sense to be me because you’re just so funny and nice and beautiful…” He was just kind of word-vomiting all over the place because he was nervous. He took another breath and tried it again. “I wanted to do this because...I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you how I feel and ask you out for like...months now. So, I probably went a little crazy, but I didn’t know how else to show you how I feel.”
Mercedes eyes were already wide, but the more Sam talked, the wider they got.  Her lips opened slightly as she began to actually process what he was saying to her, how he was saying it to her.  He was rambling, which he only did if he was really excited or really nervous. Was she the girl he had been talking about yesterday? That...no way! She slowly stepped a little closer, her voice not able to go much higher than a whisper. She was worried that if she spoke in her normal tone that it would break the dream she was obviously having at the moment. “You want to go out with me? Like, an actual date? Or do you mean just hanging out as friends? Which we do all the time anyway.”  Clearly it was her turn to babble.
“I want to go out with you like an actual date. I wanted to ask you to go to Sugar’s party, but then you said you didn’t want to go,” Sam replied, his body warming as she stepped closer. Was she gonna kiss him? He wasn’t sure he was prepared for that, but he wouldn’t turn it down either. “I’ve liked you as more than a friend since...probably the first day I met you,” he admitted then felt really exposed. “It’s cool if you don’t feel the same,” he quickly added. Though he’d feel like a complete moron if she didn’t.
“I don’t want to go by myself,” she softly corrected him.  “If someone asked me, especially my best friend who is clearly the sweetest guy on the planet because he turned my locker into a Valentine’s explosion of awesome, I’d want to go.” She felt like her heart was beating inside her eardrums.  “I’ve always been worried that you would figure out I liked you, and that you would get weirded out and stop wanting to be friends. And not being your friend would break my heart.”
His cheeks hurt from how wide his smile had become. He shook his head. “No way would I have been weirded out, but I didn’t know you liked me. I like you so much,” he reiterated, looking at her locker. “I mean if you couldn’t tell. I just thought you didn’t like me.” He felt so relieved and really happy because it sounded like she wanted to go with him to the party. “So...does that mean you’ll be my date to Sugar’s party?”
By now, there were several students watching them, even if they couldn’t hear what was being said, they knew something important was going on. Plus, there were balloons drawing attention as well.  “Yes, I’d be happy to be your date.” She smiled brightly. If it were possible to fall in love with someone instantly, Mercedes was pretty sure this would be that kind of moment. “Just so you know, I would’ve said yes without all of this.” And that was true. The fact that he actually liked her was so unreal to her that she just wanted to live in the moment for the rest of the day. No class, nothing but goofy grinning because Sam Evans wanted to take her to a party as his date.
“Cool…” he said, trying to force himself to stop grinning like an idiot, but he failed miserably. He could hear people starting to move in the halls behind him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “I know. I just wanted to do this for you anyway. It’s like our first...Valentine’s Day sort of thing. I wanted to make it special,” he explained. “I just wanted to make sure you knew I heard you, and I care about you.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, not caring if anyone could see them.
Mercedes was pretty sure she was done for at this very moment. Completely and utterly done.  Here Sam, just take my heart.  She looked up at him, his blue-green eyes making her tummy do all kinds of weird fluttery things.  “So you’re just going to spoil me right out the gate, okay. This means so much to me, thank you.”
Sam laughed at that, shaking his head. “Not all of the time, but this isn’t really spoiling. This is just...what guys do when they want a girl to know their affections,” he said with a little twang, winking at her. The warning bell rang, and he sighed. “I guess we should probably get to class, but I can pick you up at your house or we can meet at the Sugar Shack.”
“I’m pretty sure most guys don’t do this, but I’ll take your word for it.” She chuckled. “Well, since this would be our first date, I think you should pick me up.” She wanted the whole walk down the stairs moment because, why not?  “Oh crap, I am going on a date, I’m going to have to find something to wear!” She gave Sam a quick hug and closed her locker carefully so the balloons wouldn’t start hitting nearby people, or her.  “See you soon,” which meant at lunch.  “Be prepared to get teased by the group, I’m sure they’ll all know what you did by then.”  Santana would probably snatch her to the back of the room in next class as it was.
“I’m not most guys,” Sam countered with a smug grin. “But okay, I’ll pick you up. I just hope your dad and brother won’t like give me crap.” Now he was nervous because he’d always been a little afraid of her father. “I don’t care if they tease me. I get to go on a date with one of the hottest girls in school. They can suck it.” He laughed again and then shifted on his feet. “Save me a seat at lunch,” he requested, giving her one last smile before he headed off in the direction of his home room.
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qoxie · 8 years ago
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'Cross Country' Yeeun: "My love-hate relationship with music" (@Star1 magazine April issue full cast interview)
@Star1 | 2017.03.29 | Translated by qoxie
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Yeeun from Wonder Girls, Bohyung from Spica, singer Suran & actress Kang Han-Na went on a music journey together. Four seemingly different people accompanied each other to travel across California in MBC Every1's Cross Country show. It was interesting to see how their awkwardness gradually disappeared as they became closer. What about the magical music born out of those little moments? From flying out to returning home, they reminisced about their trip to California.
Q: Four seemingly incompatible people met each other.
Bohyung: It was easier to break the ice since we’re similar in age. Making music together was also resonating. I created many special memories.
Suran: It's been a while since my last trip. I didn't know what to expect at first. It was a little worrying since I haven’t mixed with such different female entertainers on a variety show. I tried harder to find common ground when we were together, so I really got to know them in the end. California was also memorable, & I think I've made lasting friends.
Han-Na: Out of the four of us, I think mine was the most preposterous situation. Haha. Fine, it's supposed to be a music journey. Writing songs, jamming with foreign musicians. But what am I supposed to go if things go wrong? That was a concern. So our time together was quite novel & special for me.
Yeeun: I was initially unsure. No idea if we could get along. Turned out everyone shared various middle grounds. Like how I could connect with Hanna about acting, & with Suran & Bohyung about music. I could also empathize with Bohyung about being part of a girlgroup.
Q: I'm curious about your first impressions. Your first impressions & who turned out to be the most different.
Bohyung: Suran unni. My first impression was that she was very standoffish. Also, I thought Yeeun was very frosty, although I could also sense that she is very charismatic.
Suran: Everyone proved to be the opposite. In particular, Yeeun turned out to be quite coy. She looked like the haughty type. I was very surprised at how sociable she is, how gregarious her personality is. She's very caring. Bohyung is so chic. Everyone has different traits that made them interesting.
Han-Na: My first impression of Suran unni was her music. The vocalist unni who sang the SBS Jealousy Incarnate OST, which evoked such a mysterious & veiled feeling. During the trip, she turned out to be friendly, outgoing & totally lovable.
Yeeun: Han-Na. Because Han-Na is an actress, I figured her to be a little icy & snobbish. But she turned out to be easygoing, & a genuine friend for life. She's so good at self-management, is very zealous about learning, & would always work hard. The filming was tough, but it was also serendipitous to discover what the cast members were really like.
Q: The music & travel aspect is refreshing. What made you decide to appear in it?
Bohyung: I wanted to do it because it was a first attempt at combining music & documentary. Wherever there's music, it's definitely going to be good.
Suran: I didn't think too hard before making up my mind. It was going to be about music & travel. The original plan was more a documentary. A music journey. So I agreed to appear. My companions also liked it. I went there to create something artistic. Making music on the road. After the show is aired, I get to release my song.
Han-Na: The music & travel aspect was very prominent. I've never seen it tried before. I'm an avid viewer of the EBS World Theme Travel show, so I'm already very positive about travel shows. Made my decision even easier.
Yeeun: Above all else, I love to travel abroad. Haha. The weather in California was also superb. I’m already yearning to visit again.
Q: What was the most lasting memory after the filming?
Bohyung: Playing with the musicians at the vineyard. The leisurely life & overall optimism at the vineyard was very inspiring.
Suran: I also love the vineyard. Playing guitar spontaneously with the vineyard boss & his friends was unforgettable. We really befriended many people across California. It fits the show’s purpose very well.
Han-Na: I'm no different. Haha. It’s the vineyard for me. There were no mobile phones or Internet there. Just nature, music, & us with guitars. Just thinking about it is blissful.
Yeeun: Me too! I've been to many cities, but the vineyard was a first. The sunshine was filtering through the leaves. The wine tasted very special too.
Q: Traveling with strangers couldn't have been easy. What were the inconveniences?
Bohyung: None at all. It felt like a real excursion, & not just for filming’s sake.
Suran: It was as I anticipated, because everyone were looking out for each other. I reached out to them. There were no major inconveniences.
Han-Na: We hit it off after we met. The four of us sharing our accommodation was a breeze. Perhaps the director sensed the common denominator in all of us?
Yeeun: I didn't feel uncomfortable. Maybe the others did because of me. Haha. Like my driving skills. All of us roomed together on the first day, then split into pairs after that. It was fun hanging out before we went to sleep.
Q: What were your takeaways from this trip?
Bohyung: The free time. I got to reflect a lot during the trip, & to resolve some complex stuff. Like mulling over how to move forward, & which direction to take.
Suran: Making friends. I'm the oldest, but I’m not that savvy. There were a lot of good advice & shared anecdotes during the filming. That was most rewarding. I was also a little jaded, & the trip rejuvenated me. Haha. It was really a healing experience.
Han-Na: I was humming more than usual? I found myself crooning more songs. There was so much music during the trip. Singing heartily while driving, the time of the year, the heavenly feeling, & the sunsets will always stay with me.
Yeeun: Making friends, above all. Suran unni, Bohyung, Hanna. I don't have many celebrity girlfriends. Neither do I tend to take the initiative. I don't easily trust people either. It was a short trip, but we built a lot of mutual trust & rapport.
[YEEUN]
Q: This was your first project after Wonder Girls disbanded. The filming must have felt different.
A: We broke up only after the filming. I wasn’t prognosticating too much then, & flew over in a relaxed mood. I wasn't bent on showing something or flaunting my independence. I just went with a light heart.
Q: You were the only original Wonder Girls member who didn't leave or enter the group later. That was such a pity.
A: There will always be moments when I feel sorry. I also have other disappointments, wondering what to do next. But we decided to do it out of consideration for one another. It was for the sake of everyone. Rather than lament, I prefer to look ahead. The other members also felt the same, wanting to think more about the future.
Q: Everyone in California seemed to have reflected a lot.
A: When Wonder Girls was preparing I Feel You for the album, there was a really bad practice day & all four of us just fled. In fact, we were wearing the same T-shirt that day. We decided to leave for Wolmido Island immediately. Haha. We headed to the seaside, took photos, ate delicious food, went on the amusement rides, & created vivid memories.
Q: Musicians seem to have different passions for music. What is music to Yeeun?
A: A love-hate relationship. Sometimes it's too good, sometimes it's loathsome. That's how it is. But I keep worrying. Why do I keep making music, & how long can I do it? Yet, I always have this conviction that, without music, I won't be a better person than what I am now.
Q: What kind of music do you want to try in the future?
A: If Wonder Girls was deemed to make music that the public likes, then I now want to make music that I like myself. I won't be limited to genres, & I'm going to explore new things.
[BOHYUNG]
Q: This year was Spica's fifth anniversary. This trip seemed to be a very special journey for Bohyung.
A: We're focusing on individual activities. Spica wants to look good when we get another shot. I'm preparing for a musical & solo activities.
Q: It was a pity to see such a talented group disband. Why did you break up?
A:  We didn't disband. Both the agency & us want to do different things at the moment. After it's sorted out with the agency, we want the group to unite again if we’re given another chance.
Q: I'm curious about your solo plans.
A: I want to make an album, & start connecting with the fans through small shows. I want to make music for myself. I’m open to all genres, but it has to be positive music. I like the major & funky genres. Soul music is also great.
Q: How does Bohyung imagine to have Spica re-emerge again?
A: Maybe as married ajummas? Haha. It'll be fun to reconvene, perform together &, if the opportunity arises, clown around on a TV show. Won't that be something.
Q: If you have something to say to the fans.
A: We'll see you again. I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we didn't meet your expectations.
[SURAN]
Q: You've received approaches from hip-hop artists like Primary, Zico, Beenzino & Yankie. What is Suran's charm that draws so much love from such rappers?
A: Well, I have a distinctive voice but I prefer to focus more on the music, to furbish it aesthetically & hone in on the result. I want the music to be the main character. The producers also seem to like this, & thus give me opportunities to collaborate.
Q: Hip-hop, R&B & pop music form a wide range. You have extraordinary talent for music.
A: I never thought I was that special. It's been a while since I did those. I gained different experiences from such explorations. Playing with jazz & rock bands also expanded my versatility & fueled my learning. The musical part is just me verbalizing. Haha. My personality is multifaceted. I'm just a sucker for good music. No bias about what I should & shouldn't like.
Q: Any memorable artists whom you collaborated with?
A: I can't think of anyone specific. It's all about synergy, & the most striking one was with Primary. I learned so much, & it was so professional. He helped me get to where I am today. As producers, they let me know early what was important between the vocals & the music, & it's easy to work from there. In that sense, Beenzino also left a lasting impression on me.
Q: Is there a Cross Country member you want to collaborate musically with?
A: We collaborated together during the show. If we do it again, I think it'll be better in a different style. I also want to create some songs on my own. If I work with Yeeun, I want to try pop music or casual music [deep house?].
[KANG HAN-NA]
Q: I was quite surprised when I first saw only one actor on the cast list.
A: I was surprised too. I don't play music. Was I going to serve as the public eye during the trip? I'm musically illiterate but when I got to sing, I was participating on behalf of the public.
Q: Was it lonely to travel with the singers?
A: Never. There was no loneliness. We didn't divide ourselves as actors & singers. When we interacted, we treated each other like peers. I wish I had felt lonely. Haha.
Q: You seem to have great rapport with IU. Did she offer any special advice?
A: No special advice. Before the trip, she wished me bon voyage in a unni way, & I thanked her.
Q: How do you think this trip will inspire your acting?
A: The healing. The travel itself was self-healing, & the time taken was totally worth it. It appears the TV viewers were similarly satisfied. Just recalling these memories will rejuvenate me during my acting.
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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago
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10 Things to Stop Expecting from Others
Discover the things you need to stop expecting from others so you can have more successful, happier relationships with people.
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21.
Everything since then has been a bonus.”
– Stephen Hawking
Expectations set up an attachment to specific outcomes, leaving little room for fresh possibilities. You should save yourself from the disappointments that arise from undue expectations. As we all know, we cannot control everything and make everyone behave according to our wishes.
Consider what would happen if you stop expecting the following, and observe positive changes that arrive in your life.
Here are 10 things you need to stop expecting from others in order to be happier:
1. Validation
Don’t expect other people to validate your worth. Your value lies within yourself. Other people are tuned in to their own lives, busy projecting their own needs and wants onto the world around them.
They aren’t emotionally or mentally available to confirm your worth. What they say and do with you is a reflection of their own expectations, and not to be confused with your own.
2. Praise and Appreciation
You may receive praise – or not. You can’t depend upon it from others. If you do good things expecting others to acknowledge it, you set yourself up for disappointment.
Don’t do something to earn people’s gratitude; do something because you want to do it, it helps you feel better, or it matches your integrity. Praise yourself. When you take a step in the right direction, overcome a funky mood, or do something kind for others – pat yourself on the back.
It doesn’t matter what others see. What matters is what you think about yourself. Make a personal commitment to engage in encouraging self-talk. This leads to self-validation.
3. Motivation
No one else can be your full-time cheerleader. A friend can occasionally help pick you up when you are down, but they can’t force you to enjoy life. It’s up to you to set goals and take action to reach them.
Stop expecting someone else to do the dirty work for you. Goals needn’t be dramatic, but they do need to move you forward toward something you value. Sitting around waiting for motivation to strike you is a losing battle.
Find something – anything – to move you off your bum. Get into motion. Start your blood flowing, engage your mind in something outside of yourself, and feel the momentum build.
4. Understanding
No one has had your upbringing, walked in your shoes, or lived your life. Experiences that formed your current view of life are totally different than that of every other person walking this earth.
So don’t expect someone else to “get” who you are deep inside. Some will relate closely; others won’t have a clue what you are talking about.
Maybe it’s time to let go of insisting others think the way you do, and allow them to have their own perspective, based on their own unique experiences.
5. Optimism
Only you can find the possibilities in your day, your relationships, or your life. Sadly, the average person is looking for what is wrong so they can fix it and then feel happy.
Just listen to the conversation around you; you’ll find a plethora of complaining and blaming. It’s your choice to participate with that, or to blaze your own trail by focusing on what can go right instead of what is wrong.
6. Fulfillment
Trying to find someone else to fulfill your life is an endless chase. Stop expecting to meet that one person who can meet all of your criteria.
One clear dictionary definition of the word “fulfillment” states: “satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character.”
That’s it. Once you find fulfillment with your own life, you are ready to connect with others in a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship.You have to get right with yourself before others can get right with you.
7. Joy
Others can temporarily prime your happy factor, but they can’t force it on you if you aren’t open to seeing the light that is shining into your daily life. Joy comes from seeing the good things that are already in your life, small as well as large.
A man held in an Afghan prison lived in a cramped cell with a grey concrete floor and metal bed. Only a small window at the top of the outside wall let in a narrow beam of light in the morning. He eagerly anticipated that light, and every day gave thanks for its presence.
One cold autumn day, as he shivered on the damp floor, a bright red leaf blew in and landed in front of him. He carefully picked it up and hid it, knowing his captors would take even that one small joy from him. Daily he pulled it out to look at it.
Over time it faded to a deep rust, but still it brought the only color to his world. Then one day he found a piece of bright blue thread in the corner under his bed, and hid it away, too.
These three joys – a beam of morning sunshine, a dried leaf, and a thread – helped maintain his sanity for three years, until he eventually escaped and fled to freedom. Hearing this, I realize I live in a cauldron of joy – but only if I am willing to look for it.
8. Silliness
We need to be silly; to have moments when we are nonsensical, goofy, and irreverent. It keeps us from getting too serious about life. It’s at its best when sharing it with a friend, but sometimes no one is available.
Dancing with our cat, twirling across the living room, standing on the bed to deliver a soliloquy, making faces in the mirror, weight lifting with a jug of laundry detergent, sword fighting with dinner spoons, and generally releasing inhibitions, helps release tension.
No one else is required for me to make a complete fool of myself, and it sure feels good sometimes. I appreciate people being appropriate in society, but let’s give ourselves a break!
9. Solutions
We all have problems. Others can help us sort through potential solutions, but if the problems is in our life, it’s one we helped to create. It’s up to us to resolve what we instigated.
Think about it – has anyone’s suggested solution to your problems set right with you? We usually find others’ recommendations miss the mark. Only people with a victim mentality expect others to come to their rescue. Victors review options, take action, and adjust as needed.
10. Judgement
If we grew up with negative feedback, we expect judgement from others. When someone offers a comment, we look for a hidden meaning behind their words.
We believe everyone has a hidden agenda. Everything other people do is suspect. If someone looks at us funny, we wonder if we have spinach on our teeth, when maybe they are thinking our haircut looks awesome.
If we receive a compliment we puzzle over what that person wants from us. If we look for negative feedback, we are certain to find it everywhere.
Oprah Winfrey conducted an experiment where beautiful women were given fake scars on their faces to see how people responded to them as they walked down a city street. Unbeknownst to the women, during a “final check” of their fake make up, the fake scars were removed.
They went out with their usual beautiful faces, but upon returning, reported people looked at them with judgement, made fun of them, and pointed at them as they walked down the street. What they expected from others is how they interpreted their experience. AND their interpretation was totally incorrect. S
Maybe it’s time to stop expecting from others, and to take charge of your own life. What past mistakes are you ready to forgive yourself for? What old self-image messages that you received from others now ring false? What changes do you want to make? Where do you want to improve? Take your life in hand and make it happen. It’s your life. Lead it.
What will you stop expecting from others? Tell us in the comment section below. 
The post 10 Things to Stop Expecting from Others appeared first on Everyday Power.
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esthermeronobaro · 8 years ago
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FYF Fest 2013: My Bloody Valentine Fairy Tale
This review was first published on slugmag.com on Aug. 30, 2013. Read it here. Photos: Tod Seelie
The Choice of a New Generation
Ten years ago I was 17 years old. I "road tripped" 40-minutes south of the small, sinkhole town I lived in to one slightly more populated (with rest homes) for my first concert at a venue imaginatively named the Electric Theater. The headliner didn't make it that night––van troubles or something––but I still have the ticket taped to the brick I claimed as my laptop and covered in Weezer stickers. That year also marked my first mutual boyfriend, and my very first kiss––also mutual.
Around the same time, a kid in Los Angeles named Sean Carlson, just a couple of years older than me in 2004, decided to "boldly go where no man has gone before"––probably to impress some babes––and started Fuck Yeah Fest by booking some shows in a bunch of venues around the city. Honestly, anything I write here about his story is speculation, as the "About" section on the FYF website was blank up until this year, when a lineup history magically appeared along with a link that makes me wish I had requested an interview with the man himself, rather than vying for time with the dazzling lineup of bands at this year's festival.
Regardless, the little information I could piece together about FYF's history, along with this telling Wikipedia page and the clever, generational details observed at FYF Fest 2013––from stages named after Sex and the City characters to the exclusively '90s movie sequel trailers playing after dark between sets on the main stage monitors––give me the confidence to declare that Carlson and I have a common goal, and this past weekend, we sold out together.
Nobody Jaywalks in LA
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I have a love-hate relationship with Los Angeles. The reliable weather, the [overcast] beaches, the abundance of vegan food, and its general "vacation" vibe are all reasons why I forget how much I hate all the concrete, the snotty attitudes, the careless drivers and mind-numbing traffic. I know FYF Fest was organized by a like-minded individual because doors aren't until 2 p.m., which means plenty of time to sleep or read a book while shivering on a hotel towel in seagull-infested sand. On our way to one such aquatic adventure, a perfectly manicured 20-something bumps into the back of our rental, causing a few hours delay and ultimately leading to an untimely appearance at the festival, but I am happy to let Dan Deacon introduce me to my FYF 2013 experience. Technical difficulties result in an atypical Dan Deacon set that is more stand-up than music––which works out because I'd missed the comedy during the first part of the day. He makes fun of his balding head, apologizes for all the glitches and the fact this is, indeed, their final song, and manages to still blow me away in his final five minutes on stage with a rainbow light show, two frenetic live drummers, an improvised monologue, and electronic music that sounds like a band made up of Jane and Michael's playroom toys brought to life by Mary Poppins.
Eye Wonder Who Karen O Dates?
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When I was a teenager, I used my weekly church attendance as a runway show. At school, I wore the same drab clothes as everyone else, but at church, I was ahead of every revivalist movement: goth, Bohemian, ’60s, ’90s––you name it. I was also a master hair braider, but that’s another story. Now, all I really care about is being comfortable, maximizing my assets and minimizing my … well, other ass-ets. Karen O lives out every minute of her stage life like the rowdiest runway show you’ll ever see––this ain’t no mall walkway with waifs in pastel––and for this reason (OK, and because the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ music is awesome), I find myself at the Carrie Stage on Saturday night. The YYYs’ latest album, Mosquito, has already become a go-to on my playlists, and as Karen O comes on stage in a dirty-blonde bob, sparkling pantsuit (with shorts), pink knee socks and colorful sneakers and moves right into the title track, she sucks all the energy from the thousands gathered and blasts it back in wild yelps and guttural screams. 
The songs move into each other seamlessly, congruent with Karen O’s wardrobe changes. They’re more raw and punk-infused live, and favorites include “Gold Lion,” “Runaway,” “Cheated Hearts” and “Sacrilege”––whose gospel wails follow me out of the festival at the end of the night. A thick, long bright-yellow cord connects to her mic and she moves it around her body like a snake, pulling it over her shoulder, spinning it above her head, and to everyone’s delight, pushing it into her open mouth as a long, throaty moan envelops us like an electric blanket bursting into flame on contact. She dons her famous studded “KO” leather jacket for “Zero,” and at one point, even pushes a headlamp onto her head like a third eye. Speaking of eyes: From the back of the stage, before anyone can look twice, a giant inflatable eyeball is pushed into the crowd midway through––which I guess has been happening at all of their shows, but is a complete surprise to me. As I watch the spectacular performance, all I can think is, “Damn, I wonder who Karen O dates.”
Beach House Lullabies
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Sitting on my FYF Fest map, looking at everyone’s dirty faces while I wait for Beach House, I ease into Sunday. In back of the Carrie Stage, there looks to be a wall of vertical wires shimmering as the sun sets, like those fountains at fancy restaurants that look like pouring rain. The dream pop duo are joined by an extra musician so as to maintain the luscious layers of music they’ve created for nearly a decade. I’m far enough from the stage that the people are blurs of slow-moving flesh, but the background shows a starry mess of lights, supplementing the dingy L.A. sky above me, while puffs of smoke from the front of the stage look like bubbles. The coolness of Victoria Legrand’s whispers is complemented by blue lighting, and as the wire wall behind the band starts to move with crimson shapes and the audience sways back and forth, I feel like I’m watching a concert under the sea.
Family Matters
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Across the country, Miley Cyrus is pushing her chicken butt into Robin Thicke as Solange drops to her knees with class on the Charlotte Stage in a bright, patterned sweater and Lisa Simpson haircut, gyrating to the funky, retro bass lines thumping behind her. "Let's turn this into a grind fest," she croons into the mic, and immediately, all the white kids around me drop two inches and start shuffling back and forth. Ever since watching 20 Feet From Stardom, I've been keen on any act with back-up singers, and I know that, regardless of Solange's down-to-earth vibe, the sister of Beyonce Knowles will surely boast some classic R&B bells and whistles. As her back-ups ooh and aah, giving the set glimpses of Destiny's Child influence, Solange shows off dance moves that are comparable to her big sis––though they'd feel more at home in an intimate club full of eclectic jazz-hounds than a post-apocalyptic music video set. It must be difficult to have your work constantly thrown up against that of a worldwide pop culture icon's––but really, don't we all live in Beyonce's shadow? As if reading our minds on whether her notable family members might be hiding backstage, Solange happily mentions her mom has come to watch, and lightly asks everyone to say, "Hello Mom." Now that there is no question as to whether or not Beyonce is present, we can enjoy Solange for who she is and what she has to offer: soulful, classic, booty-shakin' music with a '90s twist.
Well, What Other Bands Are There Now?
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Sunday is a hazy blur of romantic waves. "We're in this together," is our mantra, and every piece of life and media thrown our way parallels the past year in a microscopic experience. The Breakfast Club plays out in the hotel room as we make our way to the metro, but sit on opposite ends of the aisle, looking past each other to the other side of the weekend in silent repose. As we walk inside, Flume beats like a mad heart in the aptly named Samantha Tent in the center of the grounds, and there we break apart to Melvins and Beach House, respectively, meeting back in the middle for Solange.
Washed Out's "Feel It All Around"permeates the festival grounds as we sit on a curb, sticking morbid PETA stickers on each other's plaid button-ups and thinking about not 10, but 20 years ago, when the '90s meant divorce and new schools and new friends. Washed Out fades away and 2005's summer anthem, "Time to Pretend," sounds out at the south end of the park on the Carrie Stage. Like an oracular beam of light, groups of kids walk past us toward the music, which becomes unfamiliar until the intro of "Kids" marches into our ears, and we know MGMT's set is nearly over, making room for a different tractor beam of noise.
Just about everyone has made jokes about it, but the warnings that pop up between flashes of inculcating "FYF Fest––Best Weekend Ever," trailers for Batman and Robin, and "Next Up … My Bloody Valentine," are very real, along with the bright orange earplugs we pick up at the info booth. This feels new, but in a regurgitated way, mimicking the nervous expectation of that first show I attended 10 years ago. The past six months have culminated into this recursive moment, which I've subconsciously set up as a reset to infinity. Taking a good five minutes to get my earplugs just right so I won't have to mess with them again, I wait in anticipation with everyone around me, but really, just one other person, because this is our moment. The lights drop and the letters "m b v" appear like blood surfacing on a swirling blue pool in the background. The stage looks crowded already with towers of amps, but as the musicians file in, they fit into their respective positions like the last pieces of a puzzle. Kevin Shields leans into the mic, and though I'm too far to make out facial features, and the giant monitors to each side show nothing, his shoulder-length, frizzy white hair is illuminated by the blue light behind him, giving his crisp and single "Hello" an ethereal quality.
I expect a wall of noise to push us all backward from the very first note, but we're eased into the music like a first kiss with one of my favorites, "I Only Said." My Bloody Valentine's most critically acclaimed album may be called "Loveless," but there is a tangible romance inside the static and reverb, which is why we're here together, arms wrapped around each other. I don't have most of the track names memorized, but I know Loveless' melodies and whispers by heart, and though muffled by the foam in my ears (which I end up repositioning so they're not quite so stifling), I smile wider with each song I recognize. We're enjoying the on-and-off violence of "Only Shallow" as the background turns to fiery noise, the amps opening their mouths like dragons and short, shadowed glimpses of Bilinda Butcher's sparkling red guitar––matching her hair and heels––move on the screens––and then silence. I look up from my sway and see the band still playing. More heads in the audience pop up and audible panic swells. The guitars turn back on like a switch, but it happens again, and I fear the magic lost. I feel like Dorothy, peering behind the curtain to see the truth. Just humans with big machines. All seems lost. For some in the audience, this is just another show, another checkmark on their list of bands to see, and these technical glitches are simply minor annoyances. To me, they're stabs in my back. Waves of doubt and despair wash over me as I question the past year-and-a-half, seemingly reflected in the blown speakers and five-minute interruption.
Shields announces the end of their set, apologizing for the difficulties and throwing us a bone by dubbing us their best audience thus far. It feels insincere and only makes it worse. They move into their final song, which I later find out is "You Made Me Realise," from their EP of the same name released in 1988. It's a discordant track, bouncier than anything on Loveless, but I'm frozen in place. The song seems to end, at least the melody, and in its place, the slow climax of thunderous noise rockets from the stage. I'm still frozen, but this time, I can't stop staring at the noise displayed visually on the backdrop. I know it's dumb, it's cliche, but I can't remember how long I stood there. A tractor beam of the loudest music I have ever heard holds onto me, and like a strong dose of radiation, clears away the malignant thoughts that had built up in my brain. I tear myself away and search for recognition in the faces around me. A few creased foreheads express confusion, but for the most part, My Bloody Valentine has managed to baptize an audience of thousands with a single, reverberating chord. I'll learn later that this part of the song is rightfully called "Full Holocaust," and after what seems like a lifetime of eleventh hours (but was only five minutes), they fall back into the melody and finish out the song. We turn around with everyone else to walk out of the festival grounds, but I barely noticed the crowd. "It was like the biggest 'fuck you’ to every band who has ever said they're loud!" I exclaim, thinking it's a witty thing to say. There's more going on in my mind, but for now, I feel relieved and hopeful. It's not until we're back at the hotel, packing silently for the plane ride back home in the morning, that it all comes into perspective. He says, "Well, what other bands are there now?" All the moments––the good, the bad, the hopelessness, the elation––they've culminated here and will repeat into infinity––and you made me realise, it will always be with you.
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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago
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10 Things to Stop Expecting from Others
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21.
Everything since then has been a bonus.”
– Stephen Hawking
Expectations set up an attachment to specific outcomes, leaving little room for fresh possibilities. Consider what would happen if you stop expecting the following, and observe positive changes that arrive in your life.
Here are 10 things you need to stop expecting from others in order to be happier:
1. Validation
Don’t expect other people to validate your worth. Your value lies within yourself. Other people are tuned in to their own lives, busy projecting their own needs and wants onto the world around them. They aren’t emotionally or mentally available to confirm your worth. What they say and do with you is a reflection of their own expectations, and not to be confused with your own.
2. Praise and Appreciation
You may receive praise – or not. You can’t depend upon it from others. If you do good things expecting others to acknowledge it, you set yourself up for disappointment. Don’t do something to earn people’s gratitude; do something because you want to do it, it helps you feel better, or it matches your integrity. Praise yourself. When you take a step in the right direction, overcome a funky mood, or do something kind for others – pat yourself on the back. It doesn’t matter what others see. What matters is what you think about yourself. Make a personal commitment to engage in encouraging self-talk. This leads to self-validation.
3. Motivation
No one else can be your full-time cheerleader. A friend can occasionally help pick you up when you are down, but they can’t force you to enjoy life. It’s up to you to set goals and take action to reach them. Stop expecting someone else to do the dirty work for you. Goals needn’t be dramatic, but they do need to move you forward toward something you value. Sitting around waiting for motivation to strike you is a losing battle. Find something – anything – to move you off your bum. Get into motion. Start your blood flowing, engage your mind in something outside of yourself, and feel the momentum build.
4. Understanding
No one has had your upbringing, walked in your shoes, or lived your life. Experiences that formed your current view of life are totally different than that of every other person walking this earth. So don’t expect someone else to “get” who you are deep inside. Some will relate closely; others won’t have a clue what you are talking about. Maybe it’s time to let go of insisting others think the way you do, and allow them to have their own perspective, based on their own unique experiences.
5. Optimism
Only you can find the possibilities in your day, your relationships, or your life. Sadly, the average person is looking for what is wrong so they can fix it and then feel happy. Just listen to the conversation around you; you’ll find a plethora of complaining and blaming. It’s your choice to participate with that, or to blaze your own trail by focusing on what can go right instead of what is wrong.
6. Fulfillment
Trying to find someone else to fulfill your life is an endless chase. Stop expecting to meet that one person who can meet all of your criteria. One clear dictionary definition of the word “fulfillment” states: “satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character.” That’s it. Once you find fulfillment with your own life, you are ready to connect with others in a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship.You have to get right with yourself before others can get right with you.
7. Joy
Others can temporarily prime your happy factor, but they can’t force it on you if you aren’t open to seeing the light that is shining into your daily life. Joy comes from seeing the good things that are already in your life, small as well as large.
A man held in an Afghan prison lived in a cramped cell with a grey concrete floor and metal bed. Only a small window at the top of the outside wall let in a narrow beam of light in the morning. He eagerly anticipated that light, and every day gave thanks for its presence. One cold autumn day, as he shivered on the damp floor, a bright red leaf blew in and landed in front of him. He carefully picked it up and hid it, knowing his captors would take even that one small joy from him. Daily he pulled it out to look at it. Over time it faded to a deep rust, but still it brought the only color to his world. Then one day he found a piece of bright blue thread in the corner under his bed, and hid it away, too. These three joys – a beam of morning sunshine, a dried leaf, and a thread – helped maintain his sanity for three years, until he eventually escaped and fled to freedom. Hearing this, I realize I live in a cauldron of joy – but only if I am willing to look for it.
8. Silliness
We need to be silly; to have moments when we are nonsensical, goofy, and irreverent. It keeps us from getting too serious about life. It’s at its best when sharing it with a friend, but sometimes no one is available. Dancing with our cat, twirling across the living room, standing on the bed to deliver a soliloquy, making faces in the mirror, weight lifting with a jug of laundry detergent, sword fighting with dinner spoons, and generally releasing inhibitions, helps release tension. No one else is required for me to make a complete fool of myself, and it sure feels good sometimes. I appreciate people being appropriate in society, but let’s give ourselves a break!
9. Solutions
We all have problems. Others can help us sort through potential solutions, but if the problems is in our life, it’s one we helped to create. It’s up to us to resolve what we instigated. Think about it – has anyone’s suggested solution to your problems set right with you? We usually find others’ recommendations miss the mark. Only people with a victim mentality expect others to come to their rescue. Victors review options, take action, and adjust as needed.
10. Judgement
If we grew up with negative feedback, we expect judgement from others. When someone offers a comment, we look for a hidden meaning behind their words. We believe everyone has a hidden agenda. Everything other people do is suspect. If someone looks at us funny, we wonder if we have spinach on our teeth, when maybe they are thinking our haircut looks awesome. If we receive a compliment we puzzle over what that person wants from us. If we look for negative feedback, we are certain to find it everywhere. Oprah Winfrey conducted an experiment where beautiful women were given fake scars on their faces to see how people responded to them as they walked down a city street. Unbeknownst to the women, during a “final check” of their fake make up, the fake scars were removed. They went out with their usual beautiful faces, but upon returning, reported people looked at them with judgement, made fun of them, and pointed at them as they walked down the street. What they expected from others is how they interpreted their experience. AND their interpretation was totally incorrect. S
Maybe it’s time to stop expecting from others, and to take charge of your own life. What past mistakes are you ready to forgive yourself for? What old self-image messages that you received from others now ring false? What changes do you want to make? Where do you want to improve? Take your life in hand and make it happen. It’s your life. Lead it.
What will you stop expecting from others?
The post 10 Things to Stop Expecting from Others appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.
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