#now excuse me i'm going to sleep
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Ah yes, my favourite Gungrave characters, uuuuh...
Black Chapel and Michael Stampede?
(AKA some silly fanart based on that one Trigun cameo in the Gungrave anime)
#trigun#gungrave#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#(i feel lowkey bad for tagging it as gungrave)#(but then again gungrave spawned the whole idea so screw it)#lemme tell you this one was fun but exhausting#as in i've been working on it on and off since october#there are probably many mistakes but oh well#it's 1 am and the tomases look cute which is the most important thing#now excuse me i'm going to sleep#hahaha i drew that
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isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine
but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day
#ramble#idk if this is a me problem or not#i've tried to do the early rise early bed thing again and again and it just does not work for me doing freelance right now#maybe it's bc i used to work at a bar so i'm more comfortable being active in the evening#i love working at night because there's less going on to distract me#what used to happen is i would get up early then fight executive dysfunction all day saying i couldn't do fun stuff until i did my work#then my will to work would hit at 10pm and i'd be up till 2am anyway#right now my routine is waking up later and playing a game or knitting for an hour or so and then working in the afternoon and evening#something something capitalism and 9-5 and adhd don't go together#this sounds like i'm just making excuses but it works and i'm actually getting shit done and sleeping enough so i don't see the problem#i just figured i'm probably going to sit and do nothing for a few hours in the morning anyway so i might as well give myself permission to
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yay i'm so excited!! i think your writing is so warm and beautiful! right now ive been thinking about sam trying to figure out what nickname you like best. like you'll be researching a case and suddenly he'll look at you with a smile and say "what about honey? suits u" and you'd just melt right there looking into his soft eyes!! AAH he's so cute I literally need him 😭
-💐
ahhh thank you so so much darling!!
aHHH BESTIE OMGGG STOP I'M SO SOFT that is so so sweet and cute i'm crying :,)
i am a firm believer that sam calls you honey allll the time it's soooo so cute imo and so him <33 i think he sticks with pretty classic nicknames like honey and baby the most, and loves whatever else you ask him to call you. like if you have a nickname in a different language that you speak that you like, he tries so hard to match your pronunciation as perfectly as he can. if not he'll settle for you using the nickname on him instead hehe. ughhh but back to honey i'm just :,) crying that's such a cute little scenario. like he's not actually focused on his research, the sweet loverboy oh my god. like he's just mulling over pet names that might fit you that you'll like. because he actually adores calling you by your name. i don't think he's the kind of person where calling each other by your names is like oh no what's wrong they're not using my designated nickname. i think he has so much reverence and adoration for your name because that's you, that's his baby!! plus he loves to hear his name in your voice.
but he also finds simple pet names soooo sweet and lovely and loves to use them for you. it's just that you've only started dating recently! and he's actually had these pet names swimming around in his brian for ages, but he doesn't want to use them too soon or make you uncomfortable. so he's staring at some lore website thinking about how muchhhh he's been aching to call you honey all day (and week and month and maybe even year), but he wants to suggest it to you first to make sure you like it/you're okay with it. first, he starts with saying casually, "i'm coming up with nicknames to call you," to gauge how you feel about the idea. when you seem to like it (you're begging to find out what he's thinking), he decides he'll bring it up today
so when his gentle voice interrupts the sounds of clacking keyboards and motel ac, asking "how about honey? i think it suits you" you think your heart is ready to burst out of your chest!!! he sounds so sweet and hopeful as he asks, and when you look at him, you just about melt into a puddle on the floor when you see those pretty puppy dog eyes of his, silently begging for you to give a sign that you like it.
"it's perfect, sammy," you smile. his faces morphs into a full grin and his dimples pop out in all of their sweet, sweet glory, and there's nothing in the world that could have stopped you from standing right then and there and walking right up to him to plant a kiss to his pretty, pretty lips.
#okay excuse me while i go insane guys#no but honey is literally my fav to have him use#like i'm screaming#ANYWAYS#did not mean to go so coo coo crazy about that but lets just say i'm obsessed#and i'm gonna drop this and go to sleep now lol#. >> asks !#. >> 💐anon ౨ৎ !#. >> sammy ♥︎ !#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester#sam winchester blurb#supernatural blurb#supernatural x reader
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No one:
Absolutely no one:
Meiji: Why would I sit on a chair/the couch when my girlfriend's lap is literally RIGHT THERE
#the two of us#yeah my resolution of waiting for all the episodes to come out to watch all in one go lasted all of 2 days lmao#but I had a family gathering and I needed smth short-ish to watch that would give me an excuse to go into a corner and avoid everyone#and when I saw that there was literally no content on episode 4 (aka THE FLUFFIEST FLUFF THAT EVER FLUFFED)#(although the fact that they probably gave us all that because in the next episode we will Suffer was not lost on me laughcry)#I decided to go ahead and make this post that had been in my head for a while#because I absolutely love this#by far my favourite recurring thing they do nawwwwww#(let's not talk about the fact that I didn't even need to rewatch the whole thing just to search for these instances#because I knew exactly which ones they were lolllll)#anyways they have absolutely NO RIGHT to be this sickeningly adorable I'm gonna call the police#they have completely taken over my life like I used to be a normal person with a semi-decent sleep schedule and now look at me#not a single regret though#shitty screencap posts (TM)
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(Source - the lovely eepydeity)
#sleep token#teeth of god graphic novel#band???BAND AS IN band or band as in that's what we just call vessel now#becacuse i swear to the gods above below and in between if all of them had input or I'm going to start biting people#not like i need an excuse to bite people#this band just makes me want to bite people#which is like fair
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Sweet (?) 17
Officially older. But not wiser in the slightest lmao
#Happy one year before I can't say “I'm a minor” as an excuse anymore ig#ally's ocs#art#original character#OC: Haru#OC: Ruka#Not particularly high quality. But I don't feel like going all out and potentially miss the day so-#I'll dip to sleep now. Oh man that 3 hour sleep hits hard ngl I'm sleepy as shit#Initially I actually wanted to go play ChuniMai today (yesterday) but I had to stay behind to work on stuff :V#So- best go this weekend instead ig-#I didn't intend to draw Ruka for this but. Ultimately I decided that Haru looks lonely so-#<- jejdkfkfk yeah the sleepiness definitely caught up to me at that moment lmao
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I just watched that s7 episode where Rose, Dorothy and Sophia will have to move out if Blanche doesn't make them co-owners of the house and oh.... oh my god. I knew Blanche's grand gesture would hit hard, but Dorothy's talk to Rose before then?? Giving her an excuse for why she has to say, only to shrug that off and softly tell her the truth ("we love you") and proceeding to tell the permit guy that they're family!! They love each other so much & they can't be separated!! Rose's face throughout the whole thing!! It's so much
#i fear this borders on making no sense but OHH the LOVE they have for each other#it's so so clear and they acknowledge it too???#out loud?? to a stranger?? ;-;#i will say this episode was made at least 10x more painful with the knowledge of how it's all going to end in ±20 episodes#blanche makes the girls co-owners because she trusts they'll stay together forever#because the thought of parting with them is even worse than the thought of losing (part of the) ownership of her house!!#she places full trust in her girls because she loves them even more than this place that holds memories of george#& because she trusts them to treat that part of her life (and their life together) with respect#and then dorothy ends up leaving#i just-#i CAN'T#blanche selling that house to them *legally* bound their lives and futures together#they signed a contract!! excuse me for making the comparison but what isn't marriage if not a love recognised legally!!#(it's a religious thing too i know. but these were the 90s! marriage was becoming more and more of a tax benefit lol)#and uh#they signed that contract to get to *live together* without consequences#because they love each other and can't bear to be separated! they're a family!!#and then dorothy leaves?? yeah no i'm FINE#(side note but rose made a comment about having to sleep on top of each other#and by her very serious 'it's fine! we all wear pyjamas!' i'm inclined to believe they do in fact share a bed frequently)#the golden girls#anyway off to bed now#i had to write this down before i exploded sjfjdj
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#the things you avoid with chronic cough...#i had hyped myself up to go get my hair cut today#but chickened out#too scary#especially putting my head back for washing#i miss the cinema so much#am dreading my next flight#even tho i'm going on holiday#but the worst is work#the endless zoom calls where I'm choking for breath and hand-signalling 'excuse me!!' as tears stream down my face#and the no sleep#obvs#I'm trying everything#got it narrowed down to a v likely possibility for what's made me gone from 'coughs a lot of the time' to 'never not coughing'#hopefully in another week I'll have a real improvement#at least my voice is (mostly) back#though it still sounds different#maybe always will now
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Imagine you have to set up yakumo's enclosure for the next couple months. How do you set it up and what do you put in there?
oh NO.! THE PROPPHECY HAS BEenm FUFILLED
i am standing in my room, leggies rooted to the floor. i am in shock .frozen and i have no idea how to proceed. there is a perpetual pathetically sobbing serpent under my blankie.
#stares at the camera and stage whispers#i can't be responsible for another living creature. i can't. or . er. i can. but I SHOULDN'T#i'll have to suppress every violent urge in my body to keep this thing alive for several months#i CANNOT fling him out the window. i WILL NOT grab his entire face and squeeze. I SHALL NOT chew on his tail.#now i'm reminded of that post where it's a pretty princess cage on the floor and comments go [that aint big enough for a dog]#and OP is all [it's not FOR a dog 😀]#yeah. that's me right now imagining a full grown yakumo in a cage by my bedside#SO FOR EASE OF MY IMAGINATION AND TO increase yaku's chance of surviving these next months#i'm going to try real hard to imagine him exclusively in pocket snake form (scrunches up my face in valiant effort)#his enclosure (crib?!?!) is flanked on all sides by eiden plushies#since yaku is an adult there is a smaller chance of him suffocating on eiden in his sleep. wait. actually#arranges the eiden walls to give some pockets of air. i don't trust him. he WILL suffocate on eiden given the opportunity#he gets one of those tiny dollhouse cooking sets for enrichment LOL#or i'll give him a bunch of those make-your-own gummy kits with elaborate setups and tiny egg gummies#crying yaku is the excuse i need to finally get a humidifier#i can survive not misting myself.. usually... but yaku will cry himself into dehydration. it's misting time#he gets an entire alcove closed off in the corner with his basic needs met. i cannot perceive#he can lurk in privacy as much as he wants. there are at least TWO hot rocks in there with garukaru's faces painted on em#there is a duplicate open-space alcove next to it for when he actually wants something from me LOL#is he a free range snake? can i take him to a bunch of restaurants and shove food into my sleeve for him? he wants to sample the delights..#tempted to put a bell on him just so if he gets loose in the basement i'll know to fish him out#but he's pretty cautious... he won't get into any fatal situations in the house right? ...does he know how to swim?!#at least one day is reserved for testing yaku's swimming capabilities.#he is going into the bathtub while it has a film of water. gonna test his traction. i hope i won't get panic-strangled#asks
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101 bad decisions rn.
F the east coast I'm leaving. The two sous chefs screamed in my face last night when all I needed was one more pin to drop. Might stay with my best friend in Boston tomorrow night if his Not Girlfriend (anymore) roommate approves, might head to Iowa and give my ex a ride back to MT from dealing with his mom's estate sale.
Might fuck right off into the Pacific, who knows! But I'm not staying here.
#Personal#My life really is a wild story#Guy who fell in love with me here Zach already cried about it#Today I've packed my car now I'm on the beach then I'm doing laundry going to sleep and tomorrow exodus employee housing#I'm not goddamn sorry that I believe in affordable housing and that seasonal housing#Etc snowbirds rich folk w/e are stealing from locals#????#I got screamed at because “it doesn't affect you” or “you benefit from” so “stop caring”?#Excuse the entire fuck out of you?#I'm allowed to care and fight and have an opinion.#ESPECIALLY since I have the privilege to use to advocate for others with#Why can't we all have nice things and roofs and food and drinkable water#Assfghklllyff
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the "also sick" comment isn't like "btw I'm SICK, how dare you not know" it's me saying I'm sick like how 2/3 of my roommates are
but like I'm so;;;; it feels so rich that L is like wtf do you want from me about me not replying for 45 minutes when I had to beg his gf over hours and hours of texts every so often to not force me to sit in unwiped shit after my surgery bc she had openly told me she just didn't rly feel like setting up the attachable bidet after telling me for weeks she would, and I never ever got a reply from her or L ever acknowledging that they were wide awake hanging out and laughing while I was like stuck in bed barely able to move begging for follow through on a commitment they made in advance and i eventually had to spend over $100 to hire someone to come out the next day and do it for me and I had to hold my shit for hours lmfao
like L is sooooo great at couching things in flawless tumblr wellness speak but only to talk about how valid they are for not showing up for you and how fucked up it is that you MIGHT ever have a moment where you can't be 100% there w them. like idk what to tell you I've been laying in bed with a sore throat and cough and fever passing out and waking up to roll over in buckets of sweat like the rest of the house. I do genuinely get being annoyed by a lack of response but it's also right back to this whole thing about Always assuming I'm mad at them which is legit one of the only things that actually makes me mad fjdkddhk like bro I do not THINK about you when you're not acting like I'm a bomb about to blow (also, as an aside -- we all take turns buying TP and it's usually me who does it like it's not out of pocket for me to say hey you are the One person who is out of the house already rn, can you get this on your way bc None of the bathrooms have back up rolls and one is totally out and I had to text our sickest roommate telling her to use the bidet and drip dry like.... "am I the first person you asked" yes bc you are the person who makes the most sense dumbfuck. I'm not being "overly needy" toward you or whatever jfc)
they literally told me at one point that the reason they're so scared of me is that my face is "triggering" for them when I'm angry or not feeling good and puts them "back in a really bad place" they have seen my face angry literally 3 times and each time it was on my way back to my room to decompress and each time I said nothing to them other than that I was in a bad mood and I was going to go to my room. I didn't yell either I just said it normal. like I genuinely feel gaslit here like I'm this horrifying monster of a man when it's like dude sometimes people are mad I don't know what YOU want from ME!! I do all my venting here where they can't ever see it even tho we've blocked each other, I censor their name like anyone even knows who they are, I isolate to chill out and it's literally been less than a handful of times like should I fling myself from the roof??????? would that fix it???
I literally know it's bc I'm a man too. none of this was like this until my facial hair came in more and it got crazy worse after I got top surgery and they're so so vocal about how much they despise men and think men should all fuck off and die and there's only a handful of acceptable men that they've personally vetted. despite them pretty clearly having a trans woman fetish bc they only date or look at porn of trans women and they do the whole step on me mommy thing about it even tho their gf has complained like. lmfao you're just a baby te//rf even tho you ID as trans masc yourself. like that's all this even is. I'm a big (5'3") scary (spent the whole weekend w my coworkers asking if I was 12) man who's obviously going to snap and kill you all bc sometimes I *checks writing on hand* get frustrated and go lay down about it
#pond.txt#and again i'm not EVEN mad rn (well. obviously i am *now*) i was SLEEPING like fhekdjdkddjl bro let me live i'm SORRY#should i whip myself should i kiss your feet my lord and savior jc. should i fall upon my sword for you.#is my t dick too big and scary to live together does it cast shadows in the hallways that frighten you HDKSDHKDDHDK#all the time i wish wish wish there was some way for me to move out early without me fucking myself financially#but i'd be on the hook for $11.400 and i do NOT have that to drop dhskddhhfj and i would need to pay that PLUS buy a car#it was so night and day the difference in my mood when i was on my work trip tho. even when i had moments of like feeling down on that trip#it was so fleeting and so like. well I'll do what i need to so i can care for myself#whether that was staying in my room and getting some sleep or rallying and being like hey @ self you're making shit up about no one liking#with no proof so let's get back downstairs and hang out w someone new and prove ourselves wrong.#life felt so bright and happy and it was so easy to talk to strangers and laugh and just let loose and like myself#even on a 13 hr travel day i was like taking notes on mental health things in my journal and reflecting and feeling so positive about makin#changes like not letting excuses stop me from going out and living my life even in this interim period between moves#and then i got back home and was like oh right. this place that makes me miserable with people who openly dislike me. great lmao#my plan is still to try to not let myself get in my own way of living life bc if i can get out & meet people it'll keep me away from here.#ANYWAY!!! *eats cough drops like candy*
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(that's the cutest penguin) i can do it!!! 🧚🏻♀️✨
you might find me asleep on the cold hard ground in between classes, but i get to play with bacteria and fungi, learn how to develop new drugs, get my hands dirty making pills. i'm gonna have a blast!!
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#i've been doing job training for the past month now and so far it's going pretty well#but i feel like it's affecting my lifestyle negatively in a big way#for one it's enabling my E////D (which i've been sorta on top of but now i'm taking any excuse to skip meals and walk long distances for#no reason other than to get workouts in whenever i can)#and it's definitely noticeable in my day to day life#(mostly dizziness and exhaustion weakness and headaches/stomach aches that end up making me sleep through the rest of my day)#and i have NO idea how to keep myself from doing it#today i was worried about how many calor///ies i'm intaking with painkillers#which i wouldn't have to take in the first place if i could just give myself a break and eat normally again#and it just sucks? that i'm getting a grip finally in terms of a job but at the same time my health is going down the drain again#i really REALLY thought i'm on top of myself but i guess i am nowhere near it#and it's so frustrating#rant tw#i wish i could blacklist tag this properly but it always attracts pro weirdos so if u need this tagged give me a tag to use#and i will glady do that for u
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did i stay up until 4 am on daylight savings day just to finish something that was technically already finished?
yes i did
do i regret violently murdering my circadian rhythm for the sake of adding to a drawing so i can repost it to piss someone off because they don’t like one of the characters?
absolutely not, get rekt random tweeter
#final space#sheryl goodspeed#gary goodspeed#nightfall#now if you'll excuse me i'm gonna go sleep until noon#ooc; out of cookies#mun art
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Hey Besties, she's all done!
The SourVerse is a collection of short fics based on Olivia Rodrigo songs, and it is, however unfortunately, canon-compliant. In the order of the track lists, but not their content. (ie. Passion/Becoming Part 1 in Traitor, The Dark Age in Driver's License)
Brutal - (Passion, Becoming Part One) Maybe Sunnydale would be better off without her.
Traitor - (Passion) They were all traitors, really.
Driver's License - (The Dark Age) How could I ever love someone else?
1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back - (Lie to Me {sorta}, Passion) Maybe she should tell him, there was a chance he'd understand.
Deja Vu - (No specific episodes) The Powers That Be had given her another chance. Jenny was alive, and she was determined to get it right.
Good 4 You - (No specific episodes) Jenny thought he'd find peace after her death...
Enough For You - (Passion) Janna had tried to impress them for years, and nothing had worked. But if this worked? Maybe her family would finally trust her with more than babysitting an ensouled vampire.
Happier - (When She Was Bad, The Dark Age, Passion) At least when she was gone, Rupert would have a chance to move on.
Jealousy, Jealousy - (No specific episodes) Did someone say two people trapped by destiny and one of them never stops blaming themselves for the others death even though the other one was an adult who made her own choices and wouldn't have wanted Buffy to blame herself? No? Well...
Favourite Crime - (The Dark Age, Ted, Passion) 'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you
Hope ur ok - (No specific episodes) Spoiler alert; they're not okay
#SourVerse#She's miserable and canon compliant (mostly)#and I love her#rupert giles#jenny calendar#calendiles#btvs#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#angel#drusilla#please excuse me#I'm going to sleep for like 12 hours now
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#tag talk#vent#I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic#empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good#the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool#but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting.#do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot#because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot#ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now.#it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that.#but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh#the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds.#if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help#but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server#I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear#making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already#meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me.#I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois.#I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school.#the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way#though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild.#anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable.#everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef#nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another.#you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely#both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation.#everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference)#anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad.#I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch.#so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?
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