#now I'm back to sleep good night

[dollya-robinprotector]

Sleeping in a bed like this no wonder I'm single af

[deoidesign]

"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever

(I make a webcomic about them)

[vaggieslefteye]

CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

[racke7]

It kind of occurred to me today that this:

is kind of... awkward.

See, as anyone with chronic-pain will tell you, your "daily activities" will warp around your pain.

Where instead of doing things "the normal way" you've figured out some kind of mostly-painless workaround, and so you don't even have to worry about it.

And then it's also difficult to say what amounts to "most" or "many" or "some". Is there a set list of things you need to be able to do? In today's world, plenty of people go from bed to computer to bed, never even needing to leave their apartment. How does that translate?

Not to mention what "all the time" really means. Does it only care about the worst days if you have something that flares up? Does it only care if it hurts even when you stop an activity?

And how come "talking / listening" is so high up? What if your brain decides to go non-verbal from just paper-cuts? What would be the appropriate "loss of function"-comparison in that case?

Basically? There's a lot of empty holes and abstractness muddling everything, even in this seemingly incredibly useful example.

I remember someone saying "your worst day - with no meds/tools", but what if that worst day only happens a few times a year?

It's complicated, is what I'm saying. And whilst this description is definitely useful, I wouldn't take it as gospel.

In fact, you might be better off ignoring your doctor when they start asking about "numbers" and just explain how the pain effects you.

"On a scale of 1-10" "I'll wake up in the middle of the night, nearly unable to move from the pain, and then desperately claw my way out of my bed. I'll then spend around two hours sitting up and letting my body recover, before being so tired that it outweighs the pain, and I can crawl back into bed for another few hours of sleep. At which point I'll wake up in pain again. During the day, I struggle to turn around or bend over."

They might not like this, and they might interpret the "number" in their own ways (which might screw you over), but at that point it's more about them being shit than you failing to describe things.

Obviously though, I'm not a medical professional and shouldn't be giving medical-advice. I'm just saying that 1-10 is so fucking arbitrary that I don't feel like you can give the "correct" answer, no matter how much thought you put into it.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

since more of like the class swap etc started going up every once in a while there will be a question in my inbox that would take me literally multiple comics' worth of art to answer adequately lol. and I don't wanna do that under an ask I want that to have its own space! so if I don't answer ur question know that it's probably that^ above there and not that I think ur question sucks

[bobomcfoe]

I think i broke my fucking toe

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33

good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':

( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )

i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!

( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )

***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx

i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands

( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**

**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )

...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...

...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c

BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )

today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...

AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D

and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!

nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.

unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.

( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )

until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )

KALE SEITAN! ;)

posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )

-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...

...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )

and i'm calling it...

<3

p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.

so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33

thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*

~SCHARLET sLUt~

cheers! mazel! ;) xx

-uncle nina, in her healing era <3

[moonchild-in-blue]

okay sister's back from the hospital i can go to sleep now muwah bye 💙

[running-in-the-dark]

can't sleep (despite new meds + melatonin, boo), so I'm thinking about random shit. like: it's insane to me that I'm totally fine living on the ground floor now. it used to really freak me out. I hated being downstairs when we lived in a house. I always felt watched when I had my room on the ground floor. and every time I visited my dad at his ground floor apartment - where I was on my own except for maybe an hour a day - I had what I now know were panic attacks several times a day. so like, that's pretty crazy.

[nyxypoo]

i want endo to be my weighted blanket

[not-so-empty-sekai]

goodnight everyone

[nowendil]

burning out all by yourself queen??

[crystalkitty1220]

Dez could absorb electricity. Meaning she can’t use phones or anything that requires a charge, because she’ll suck the energy right out of it. And when she absorbs too much… well, you don’t want to be there when that happens.

Also yeeeees make Nevin choose between his morals and having his brother back. He could even get Felix to help if he’s really desperate. (It’d also be fun if it was one of those ‘this is what I asked for but not what I wanted’ scenarios. Like the twins being stuck permanently in one body and never being able to really touch or communicate fully.)

Dez draining electricity has already been considered for like a year because, funnily enough, I had a great grandfather or uncle or something that couldn't wear watches because they'd run out of battery on him. Looked it up and apparently it's a surprisingly common phenomenon that occurs because some people have more electricity in them? So actually yeah that could work. But the thing that's been stopping me from settling on that is that it's just a little too out of line from the other curses. I guess I just can't find a way to more it horror-y or dramatic enough. Like, Edward's afraid of hurting people with his strings but his attempts to hide it and appear "normal" instead of confiding in others ends up hurting himself instead, Drew's powers prioritized understanding others to the point where he literally couldn't see past others' emotions (plus the whole healing thing), and Nevin's going through a whole mess. And then Isaac is honestly mostly just vibes. I haven't been able to find a way to make draining electricity fit in with the rest of them. (having the exact opposite issue with Chris where I can imagine so many curses that I'd love to place upon him, but I can't tie any of them back to his power being having a sword.)

Also thanks for even more ideas as to how to make Nevin suffer. I'll write down "get Felix involved" alongside "let him recover slightly right before the Isaac scene" and see if I can get a whole list of plans going. No blorbo of mine's gonna have a good time on my watch.

[yohankang]

so i'm in madrid it for work reasons and the public transportation system makes me cry sgjdfjdj i do not understand what's going onnn i just had to walk like 2km bc i got off at the wrong stop omg... this is my first time being in a country and not understanding the language at all so it's. A very humbling experience

[liebelesbe]

woke up in time to change my tampon <3 thank you internal clock!

[keeps-ache]

another day another consumption of vegetables