#now I'm also stressing out 'cause the kid needs nutrition

[anoonimthepoorchad]

Today was a messed up day for me, as well as for many people in Kyiv, as it began with an air raid at 3 A.M., and the loud sound of explosions followed by the sound of the air raid sirens. Those were 10 ballistic missiles russia sent to our city, ruining apartment blocks and causing fire. Everything happened so fast, it was impossible for anyone to run and hide in any kind of a shelter. Now I'm afraid to sleep in my bed at night.

Yesterday I enrolled in a blood donation event at my university, all by my own initiative. I always wanted to be a donor and I finally got a chance to try this out. But I was unprepared for the food restrictions and mostly stayed half-hungry for the whole day, as well as the following morning. It also took me a lot of energy to get to the university on my own, because of the sleepless night and the lack of nutrition.

Mostly the people who were donating blood were the kids from the military department of our university, I guess it was compulsory for them to take part in this event, while I came on my own choice. I did the needed tests, got my blood type and pressure checked, drank some sweet tea and went to the classroom to have my blood drawn.

I'm not the type to be afraid of blood, nor was I forced to come here. I even argued with my grandma over me choosing to donate blood when some of my other relatives had problems with this before. Everything was fine until the very end, like 2 minutes before the needed level was reached. My body decided that hunger, tiredness and all the stress I've been under these days was enough and tried to make me unconscious. And when the doctors tried to help me, my stomach turned against my breakfast and ruined my sweater in the most embarrassing way possible. After that the pressure was normalized and I finished the donation without any complications, so I'm glad they didn't have to throw the whole portion of my blood out. The doctors made some jokes about hungry students (a funny stereotype in our culture) and made sure I had regained my strength before I went home.

The mobile service is yet to come back, so back then I only told my parents that everything was over successfully and went home, where I had a good amount of rest and washed my clothes. I still feel a bit lightheaded but mostly I'm very embarrassed. It's scary how it feels to succumb to your own body and I feel like I should have commanded it to obey and not to embarrass me in front of everyone. But I know that back then I barely understood what was going on around me, I had no power over myself at all. Still, next time I'll just make sure to eat well and to sleep well before donating blood. It just feels like I was a big child, helpless and dirty, and that I made a trouble for everyone. It ruined my happiness over finally trying to help my community.

[omegapheromone]

I think the worst part of the heat is over finally considering I was able to actually go to the store to get some food... still felt super anxious around other people and felt like I was sweating and overheating the whole time still, but at least my condition wasn't that bad. It's still definitely there, the heat itself isn't over- but it's calmed down a lot from the initial onslaught so I can actually function fairly normally now.

I also took a shower right before I went to wash off any potential scent still clinging to me after hiding in my nest for so long so I imagine I probably wasn't too much of a nuisance in terms of an overwhelming scent either. I felt very irrationally worried about it though- logically I know that people can't actually perceive any pheromones from me (because, 'real world' vs misce identity brain) but I was constantly thinking "what if" regardless.

(More rambles/complaining under the cut, all sfw, just putting the read more here for the sake of post length)

...I felt like people were staring at me, so that made it worse- even though that is almost certainly just because I have a fairly distinctive "look". Still, I imagine that if those people actually COULD sense my pheromones/omega scent for real, I'd have caused some kind of a scene bc I felt like my anxiety must've been like. So obvious. I couldn't even look up from the floor at all aside from when looking at which products to buy. Note to self to NEVER grocery shop while still in heat ever again, because it will be a nightmare. Too bad I actually genuinely needed to get some food because, you know, I'm trying to keep my flesh vessel fueled with enough nutrition.

Idk. It's such a weird thing to get so anxious about. I felt a bit crazy, like... logically, nobody is going to be able to tell that I'm in heat because, you know, non-misce people don't generally even consider that a possibility for humans. And even if people could sense my anxiety- which is entirely possible if not likely from just my body language alone- it's not like they'd know why being at the store would be so stressful for me. I wasn't ACTUALLY in danger. Even so, I constantly felt like "everyone can tell, I must be such a nuisance to everyone, I wish I had a scent blocker or heat suppressant at hand, I feel so bad and guilty for being in public like this because it must be really annoying for everyone else". That type of thing. I guess it didn't really help that I definitely noticed some people glancing at me a bunch, even though it's almost certainly just because I have a pretty distinctive and noticeable look (unnatural hair colour, etc). A kid was pointing me out to their parent in a foreign language I happen to understand a bit, and another very young kid was very openly staring at me for a good while. Kids tend to do that to me all the time, because I look interesting to kids especially, but today it just felt. Bad. And of course, when kids point me out, the parents look too. There was also this (potentially fellow queer) person who definitely did glance at me a good few times, most likely because they just wanted to do that "shared glance of acknowledgement" people tend to do when they notice another obviously Not Very CisHet Person in the wild, but god did it make me feel more anxious to know that they were continuously glancing at me in hopes of our eyes meeting in order to do that "nodding in acknowledgement except with your eyes only" thing gays do. I kept noticing it from my peripheral vision and the sentiment was very nice and everything but I was genuinely on the verge of a panic attack in the store so like, it just. Made me feel worse. Which in turn makes me feel guilty bc I must've seemed like I was avoiding them or something.

I guess I'm just like... frustrated? Because there's no "actual logic" behind any of it, aside from trauma and heat causing my emotions, esp anxiety, go kind of haywire. Also it feels silly to be genuinely paranoid of "oh god everyone can smell my heat can't they, I feel so awful for causing an inconvenience, I'm scared someone will try to hurt me" when. Absolutely nobody can tell.

Hnnng anyway... I still have to decide if I go out tomorrow since I have a therapy appointment. I really should, I haven't seen her in person in a while, but gosh, if my heat is still ongoing I'm going to feel so terrified all day again. But I do need to run other errands too... idk I'm just very. Don't know what to do.

[plutobutartsy]

You Mentioned OCs. (np)

oh di i'm so excited you asked about them i'm actually jumping up and down rn bc like,,, i've had these two for YEARS, i rotate them in my mind every single day and with all the media i consume i always think ok but what if the protagonists were ACTUALLY my ocs like i'm so mentally ill about them

their names are Briar and Evelyn (Evie for short) and they're both so silly and so disgustingly in love, think vincent and lovely but ten times worse

also this got like REALLY long so don't feel obligated to read it all lol

let's start with my boy Briar

his name frequently gets mistaken for Brian and it makes him so irrationally angry lol

he's a born vampire! so no old man activities this boy is like 17 as of now

he's the one who knows how to cook! he makes food for others as a love language

also fun fact there's like an actual vampire cuisine in this universe so vampires can consume food that's not just blood and still get nutritional value out of it

his family are part of the older vampire generation technically? what i mean is his family have been vampires for a few centuries now so they're kinda rich and well known

that said, his parents are for sure around 80-100 but him and his sisters are young!

as i've said he's only around 17 and he's the youngest out of his siblings

he has 3 older sisters (20ish, 24 and 28) and they're all very protective of him because omg!!!! that's their baby brother!!!

sometimes too protective to the point where they underestimate him and make him feel bad,,, woops!

he still really looks up to them and puts them on a bit of a pedestal, making him an overachieving perfectionist while he strives to get to what he assumes is their level

spoiler alert this results in a lot of angst and him not feeling good enough despite his parents and sisters never really pressureing him to do anything

he definitely tries to hide his insecurity by overcompensating and acting more arrogant than he is but his friends can read him like a book lol

"i had this leftover because i made too much on accident, eat it so i don't feel bad about being wasteful. honestly you should feel honored to be allowed to taste my cooking" translation: "you seemed stressed so i made you your favourite meal but please don't bring it up or i'll die. hope you like it ^-^"

terrified of bugs which is unfortunate since his 3rd sister loves them and keeps them as pets

when i said overachiever i meant it. student body president. excels in most sports. top grades.

he has to be perfect or he will literally die (real) (not fake)

oh he's also scared of dogs and he's very pathetic about it. i'm talking he sees a tiny puppy and he crosses to the other side of the street.

works at a convenience store because he doesn't want to end up being a spoilt rich brat stereotype lol the old ladies at check out love him because he always offers to carry their bags to their car for them

tries to act all serious and grown up when he's around his sisters to impress them but it's a lost cause

he's a complete sweetheart please tell him he's doing a good job and watch trashy dramas and reality tv with him

okie Evie time :3

she's a witch!! wohoo magic

she has like a billion siblings

jk just 5 but still

all of them are adopted and a different magical being (for example her older brother is a werewolf) simply because i think it's funny

listen hear me out: her dad is like fucking bruce wayne, adopting kids left and right, but he's just a regular schmegular human so i think it's hilarious that he adopts a new kid and he's all like "oh great they're just human phew no stress for me"

just to find out that no, this child is in fact NOT human, and on top of that they're an entirely different species than the rest of his kids so he has to learn about their specific needs and quirks and whatnot all over again

listen it's hilarious

okay anyways

evie stress bakes!! so she always has new stuff to give to others because WOW girl you're stressed beyond measure

brought 5 loafes of bread to school once to give to her friends. "thanks but you already gave me 2 yesterday my family really can't eat all of that :(" "girl PLEASE you have to help me i have 12 more at home and my dad is fucking PISSED he told me to get rid of them immediately."

if Briar needs to be perfect or else he will die, then Evelyn needs everyone to like her or she will die

she's honestly a bit of a pushover because of that but she's working on it and has made great progress (therapy queen)

fashion lover and lover of cute things

her outfits look like a claire's threw up on her

her magic manifested when she was like 5 when she got into a fight with her brother and she just. launched his ass into the sky lol

that accident broke his leg and made her resent her powers for a bit

like she wanted nothing to do with them and straight up refused to go to a school where she would learn about them. her dad was so worried because suppressing magic longterm makes you actually sick

that is until a friend of her dad explained to her that learning to control her powers would help her prevent any more accidents

that friend is called Makena and we love her! she's a witch as well and ended up giving Evie private lessons and also helped Evie's dad with learning about magic and how to care for non-human kids

at first Evelyn rly sucked at magic like REALLY sucked at magic and she was like, are you serious this is ASS

but she was just a slow learner and is really good now :)

works at Makena's cafe in an effort to help with her social skills

i have drawings of these two somewhere but it's been a while so i can't fund them 😭

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Achievement Unlocked: Feeding the hungry - Find a lunch for Hugo

[mommingwithlupus]

7 Reasons to Exercise at Home

I used to go to the gym and honestly I love the gym atmosphere, but nowadays it's not for me with my schedule and family life. I used to go with a friend and sometimes alone before I had my second child. My son was old enough to leave him home and the gym membership was only $25 per month. Not too bad and I had time after work to join in on classes and even extra cash to pay for a personal training group for another $120 per month. Well, once I had my second baby I no longer had all these luxuries. Not only did I now have to pay for the new cost of daycare and diapers, I also couldn't find the time to get to the gym. The few times I tried, the Kids Club would call me to come get my crying breastfed baby so I could nurse her. My workout would get interrupted because she was so attached to mom and I couldn't be gone for 20 mins without her having a meltdown. I decided to try a new routine and exercise at home. I'm so glad I did! Now that I have 3 kids, I can't see myself doing anything else. Exercising at home makes life so much easier for me and there are so many apps and streaming methods that can be used these days that anything I need is available somewhere.

Here are the reasons working out at home is the best option for me as a mommy of 3 and a lupus warrior:

Available Any Time- Whether you are an early riser and want to exercise before the kids wake up or you wait until the afternoon or evening to fit in your workout, your home is always there and so is whatever streaming method or app you like to use. I have tried so many times to wake up early, but I just can't seem to stay consistent with it so I exercise during my lunch break and/or as soon as I get off work.

Pause Button- Exercising with the kids around can be tough sometimes. One is calling for you to wipe her butt from the bathroom, the other is crying because she dropped a toy, and another is asking if he can go to his friends house. They all see your obviously busy, but kids will be kids. For the things that can't wait like diaper changes and toddler booboos, there is the magic pause button. Push pause, take a few minutes to do what you need to do, and come back. The workout won't go on without you and you won't miss a thing.

Judgement Free Zone- Going to the gym or taking a group class can be hectic and you may feel uncomfortable around others that may be more physically fit or advanced in the class. At home there is no judgement. You can go at your own pace and don't have to feel anxious about trying to keep up with others. As long as you stick with it you will get better and stronger every time! Don't feel discouraged if the trainer on the video does 25 reps and you only did 15. They can't see you and are just there to motivate you and keep you going. Write down your reps and push for more next time. Watch your progress and eventually you will be up there with the rest of them.

Several Options- There are so many apps and streaming options available. I love this because I can plan my workout based on my day and how I'm feeling physically. If I know I won't have time for a long workout because my son has a football game or we have dinner plans with friends, I can choose a workout that I can fit in during my lunch break or quickly after work. Or if I'm feeling drained and low energy I may want to do yoga or another light workout. Is the weather nice out and you don't want to stay indoors, there are plenty of apps for timing your run or incorporating some outdoor strength training. Here are some of the programs and apps that I recommend:

BeachBody On Demand- This is my personal favorite! There are so many choices. They offer high intensity workouts, strength training, pre and post-natal, dance, yoga, and more. If you don't like one, try another. Plus they also have nutrition guides and discounts on their Shakeology products.

5K Runner- This is similar to a couch to 5k app. If you have a goal to build your endurance, but haven't ran in who know how long this is a great app to help you get started. When I started using 5k Runner that first week of only running one minute at a time was brutal, but now it's a piece of cake. The app tracks your distance, maps your track, counts calories burned, and gives you little motivational shout outs during the run (you can turn that off if you're not into that).

You Tube- There are so many videos out there that can be streamed from the comfort of your home and You Tube is a free way to get access to fitness videos. Just search what you feel like doing that day and there's a video for it. I recommend looking into credentials of whoever the video is from though. You don't want to take fitness advice and workouts from someone that doesn't have the experience and knowledge that they should and could potentially cause your body more harm than good.

Map My Run- I'm a runner and love to join fun runs and 5k races when I can. This app helps me to track my time and maps the area I running in case I want to save the track for another run or share with my friends. The app will tell you when you have hit a mile and tell you your time and pace during the run making it easy to set goals and know how you should do next time. I love the motivation from seeing my other friends using the app and we cheer each other on when posting our run stats for the day.

Saves Money- Exercising at home means you don't have to spend the money on a gym membership, personal trainer, or the added childcare cost. Most apps and streaming methods are free. BeachBodyOnDemand is either $100 for a whole year or $10 per month. Much cheaper than a gym membership. Equipment is not always required and if there is a workout that you want to do that requires equipment, you usually have the option to purchase either from the video provider or anywhere they are sold. There are plenty of workouts that do not need any equipment and you still get amazing results.

Time Saver- The commute to the gym or class alone could be a reason you don't make it to the gym. You worked all day, then drive to the gym, change, exercise for 30 mins maybe an hour, change again, drive home and then do whatever else your night has in store. That's only if you don't also have to pick up the kids, drop them off at the kids center, and pick them up again. Exercising at home could cut off up to an hour of this time. You simply get home from work, get changed and pop on your video or app. When you are done, you're done. Already at home, can jump in the shower or get dinner started right away. You can do whatever you want with that extra time. My 4 year old is usually in daycare (before the quarantine-now shes home every day) until 6:30. I get off work at 4:30, can start exercising by 5:00, work out for 30 mins-1 hour depending on how I'm feeling, and then go pick her up or start dinner while my husband picks her up. I don't have the stress of running around. When I went to the gym, class didn't start until 5:30 so I had to rush from work to daycare, take her with me to the gym, then rush home after so we don't eat dinner at 10 pm.

Example to your loved ones- You are exercising at home. Your children see you, your spouse sees you, your friends may see you, the neighbors, anyone in the area close to you. Just doing this alone is motivation for them to live a fit life. My teenage son refuses to exercise with me, but he has started exercising at home on his own and has been motivated to be healthier. My 4 year old daughter will join in on workouts she noticing me doing that look fun like dancing and yoga. I tell her I'm exercising to be strong and healthy and now she goes around always talking about how she is strong and healthy because she exercised with mommy. It's a lifelong impression for the betterment of your children. They develop a healthy habit that will last with them in their future and go on to your grandchildren and theirs. Even if they don't want to jump in with you, you are still inspiring them to live a healthy and fit lifestyle just by them seeing you doing so and the benefits it has for you.

As a mom of 3 and also battling with lupus, exercising at home has been the very best thing for me. My schedule is managed better, it helps as a stress reliever, saves me time and money, and I can take better care of myself and my family. I feel great and have more energy. On days when I feel drained and fatigue is taking over, I can take a day of rest and my workout will still be there tomorrow waiting for me to press play. I won't miss a class and fall behind and I'm never running late. I stay motivated because my family sees my progress and how much it helps me and I cannot let them or myself down. I work on myself so I can be a better example and a better mom overall for my family. You can make your schedule any way that you would like. Start slow and build yourself up to where you want to be! It's all in the palm of your hands and in the comfort of your own home. You're already there, just jump up and get started!