#now I am drowning in this world | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

almost-born-in-1893 · 1 year ago

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I don't know what exactly I am expecting to happen by rewatching THE scene over and over again. Like, do I think at some point the feeling of dread and heartbreak will not wash over me any more? And then what? What am I rewatching this scene for? Am I taking acting lessons? What am I doing? Is this a form of self harm?

#good omens 2 #I think Neil Gaiman broke me #not even two weeks ago all this show was to me #was a stupid looking poster I had once walked by in 2019 or so and rolled my eyes at #like “oh god not another cheaply made Supernatural type show please”#now I am drowning in this world #currently listening to the audio book #and holy shit the writing is so exquisite #never judge a book by its Amazon Prime poster I guess

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satans-knitwear · 2 months ago

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Sabine is deeply unimpressed with my shernanigans.

Tried to give her a bubble beard again but she still just kept eating the bubbles 🤷

#Wet Beast Wednesday #But on a Tuesday.#Drowned rat Tuesday #Soggy Sabine. Bubbly beanie baby.#She has since been blow dried and is now a fragrant ball of fluff #I can never take enough photos of my little babies. The world must know how precious and ridiculous they are.#Rosie is due home from the vets in an hour!! Her anti-puppy op went well apparently! Hopefully her recovery is speedy #My poor baby belle had a horrible time when she went she was neutered. The op went wrong first time and she got an infection later on #It was dreadful for all of us! I am really worried about how Rosie will cope but I'm pretty sure it will be far better this time.#Gotta make sure Sabine is extra nice to rosie while she is healing! And make sure Rosie doesn't jump on too much furniture

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dustteller · 5 months ago

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The maybe-sorta-not-really-almost blowjob scene, because I don't think I've drawn them together before and this is probably the best place to start.

(Tumblr ate my quality :( pls click to rescue it)

#ik the pose is not canonically accurate but my composition demanded as much.#alternatively it could be done with the same pose as Germanic Warrior with Helmet but thia took long enough no full body paintings for me.#and it took. so long. I've been at this since may.#probably over 25 hours total.#please please please zoom in. look at the details. make an artist happy.#anyways! does anyone else associate Ouyang with red? specifically rust red.#Esen and Baoxiang are blue and dark blue respectively.#while Zhu is yellow/orange.#so Ouyang being red works in my head bc it places him opposite to Esen's blue.#with red and navy blue being commonly put together despite being very different and even clashing (Ouyang and Baoxiang)#red is right next to orange on the color wheel #and red/yellow/orange mix into each other to become the same colors with Ouyang and Zhu #hence the colors of this piece #plus dark rust red/crimson being both assocoeged with antagonists and blood. both of these fit Ouyang I think.#Ma is also red in my head to go with zhu as well #but she's specifically bright ruby red that goes more towards purple than orange.#so it doesn't overlap with Zhu’s color region #just hangs out next to it.#this also puts Ouyang and Ma as sort of paralel to each other which I think is fun #anyways. i am hungry! i will go eat! it is 4am holy crap–#the radiant emperor #he who drowned the world #zhu yuanzhang #general ouyang #also i lied earlier only evil baoxiang is navy blue. normal non evil wbx is a nice cool green.#same color family as Esen still but lighter/more femenine/less generic #(Esen is specifically Boy-Coded Blue)#WBX being green also has him as complementary color to Ma and Ouyang.#okokok now im done fr.#my art

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a-place-to-burn · 1 month ago

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i literally cannot stop thinking about wang baoxiang... the struggler of all time. love when the minister asks him if he has hobbies and hes like I Paint ♥️ and what he means is that hes obsessively making a poster to call some guy a cuck to destabilise the military power dynamics. girl thats not a hobby!! neither is Ending The World Because of Homophobia. he should be at the club 😭

#its 1 am ive spent the last 24 hours in a hwdtw reread induced frenzy #WHY IS HE LIKE THIS #worlds first gay heterosexual #not bi not queer but a secret third thing #need him to get forcibly integrated into zhumas functional lesbian marriage like a wet cat dropped on the doorstep #like sorry this guy is also here now #there is much wrong with him but im sure ma prefers him to having ouyang in her marriage #i am also deeply sad about him of course #but we cant think of that right now 👍😎#swbts #radiant emperor #hwdtw #he who drowned the world #hwdtw spoilers #wang baoxiang

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ratzhatz14 · 1 month ago

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Well! That's just... Ironic!

#why the fucj do i relate to every word here #dandy's world #dandy's world sprout #dandys world #dandys world uquiz #hahahaaa.... do i have autophobia or anthropophobia #now im in a low mood because im alone in vc #i dont feel motivated to work on the animation anymore. but i guess i gotta do it or ill drown in the thousands of dandys world videos #why the fuck am i afraid of being forgotten/abandoned? is this trauma from when i had discord at 11 #i think it is #YOOOO SHELLY KINNN YAAAAAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYYY

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samuraisharkie · 5 months ago

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the thing about living in the world is that it is filled with hopeless anguish and despair and evil and there’s no way for anyone to defeat it all. but you have to keep on living

#edit: if you are seeing this and it’s making you feel worse please know that this isn’t true. it’s not hopeless.#it can feel this way and it’s ok to feel upset but please don’t let this convince you the world is no good #like I said later— the fireflies are back. there are plenty of good things to fight for and you may not see it till later #so don’t give up.#I’ll leave my previous tags up for archival and commiseration purposes #I WAS feeling better but god nothing improves no matter what those of us trying to do smth ever attempt #nothing changes. it just keeps getting fucking worse.#I’m so tired of this world. it’s going to end in anguish and despair and ruin and the good people will perish while the evil survive #and no matter what we try we can’t stop it. I guess #we have to try nonetheless but I don’t see anything changing. it just keeps getting worse and worse #I am crying right now in just hopeless confusion #I don’t want to give up but god I don’t want to be here either. it feels like drowning and being on fire all at once

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bunnihearted · 4 months ago

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#no but i actually hate that i made this blog to vent freely bc i have no other place to talk abt anything or my feelings or thoughts #and im a very isolated person and a shut in and i dont have a job or go to school successfully and i dont know anyone #like blah blah. i have struggled and im drowning in them all. like why the fuck cant ppl just comprehend that we all have different views o #life and the world? like 'wallowing' is .. i have heavy anxiety which is completely untreated and it gives me real bad suicidal ideation #if me complaining on a blog that im btw not forcing anyone to read helps me to stay alive and get my pain out... why does that matter to #other ppl?????? like why does other ppl get so mad seeing someone they dont know vent??#also this goes for everyone but u can literally have no idea abt all of a person's life #esp on here where all u see is like my text posts where i vent abt how i FEEL. bc i want to. ??? i want to do that so i do #u dont know the context u dont know my experiences or what has happened in my life or context #u dont know what has transpired between me and other ppl i vent abt #like u know fuck all. u dont have the right to pass judgement onto a stranger that doesnt even know u exist #and even if i complain on here bc i dont have a real life but i want to #u have no idea what im doing with the rest of my time???? im making lists im trying to look up info abt school and programs #im trying to read abt my mental health issues and im doing mindfulness and im going to the gym #i am trying!!! and u dont have any idea what i do or how i try and u dont have any right to judge me bc all u see is one part that is me #complaining bc this is what i use this blog for. genuinely i do not get why this is even a big deal or why anyone would follow or read smth #makes them irritated???????#idk.. i dont wanna disable anons and stuff (bc funnily enough no one ever says this stuff with their url 🤨) bc i dont wanna miss out on the #stuff but it is infuriating that i have nowhere to go no friends no therapist etc etc to talk #and this is all i have bc i want to vent !!!!!!! and then i have to be like ok now other ppl i dont even know #and who dont actually give a fuck abt me are gonna judge me and tell me im living incorrectly #and ive never gotten more such things than now? why do y'all hate that i vent abt losing out on my 1st love #and feeling heartbroken?????? what the fuck? that has nothing to do with anyone else but me? like genuinely wtf #i just wanna vent bc i feel like im drowning but now i feel like i cant bc ppl just judge and like ugh

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rawliverandgoronspice · 7 months ago

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words pale to express how much I hate macron at this point

#thoughts #my grandmother was sent home with an unexamined broken bone #because she is old so not a priority and the public services are fucking drowning #then obviously she fell again and broke two more and got open wounds #then she was taken in and stored in a *corridor* for days #and the operation on her shoulder is being stalled because they have zero openings #AND THIS BITCH is out there speaking of cutting 10 billion more funding for hospitals #you are selling us to private US interests like there is no tomorrow #forbidding us from protesting for our rights and maiming and killing your own citizen when we try #gassing up the far right to try and win by comparaison EVEN THOUGH you do the EXACT same thing as them AND criminalizing the left #pussying out of saying you 100% support Israel when this is actually what's happening because you're a coward #AND prepping us for a war with russia that I'm fairly sure has nothing to do with genuine solidarity with ukraine #but far more with the european political chessboard and your own mark upon history because that's the kind of person you are #and doing your little ego parade for the olympics as though this should in any way shape of form be the priority right now???#as if it's not unbelievably dangerous given the current state of the world??#I want to eat a wall every time I see him on my screen #I am. very angry about many things at the moment. :)

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago

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#man. imagine a world where i had a non academic job. imagine i didnt have homework #imagine i just didnt do homework and i just laid down on the floor and decomposed #making my fucking mood stablizers work for it #im so tried and i dont wanna read. i just wanna sleep forever ugh #im now accomodated to have extra time on exams tho. not gonna use it but ya kno cool #ugh. y am i so tired i got like 8.5hrs sleep last night. why am i like this?#and i have to meet my advisor tomorrow like: have i made progress? nope im just trying not to drown #also i have a cavity and have to get oral surgery in thr next 6 months bc ive got a bby tooth thats starting to reabsorb #so i gotta get an implant tooth to replace it. how tf am i gonna do that? whos gonna watch me?#maybe ill wait for my parents to come out here on vacation #ugh. i need to fucking focus #unrelated

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pagesofkenna · 1 month ago

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Just said "sheesh, Kenna, you're the smartest person I know" out loud while reading your tags on the FMA Truth and Ed's atheism post. Then I realized that Indiana probably doesn't care as much for this information as you might lolol

honestly i'd originally written a really annoying ramble about gods in fiction under that post and now i'm so glad i deleted it to write that much more succinct breakdown of my thoughts on the matter

#I have such a ramble I could go on in every single direction of this topic because this is the stuff i think long and hard about #but im not even sure which part of my tags impressed you lmao #i feel like im just constantly shouting 'theres nuance!' about an issue which has #in fact truly deeply caused a lot of pain and hurt in the world! so like of course people dont want to see the nuance!#and they dont need to! thats a thing for me to have fun thinking deeply about - if its a cause of strife dont even worry about it!#i am actively working on a story right now where the 'gods' are knowingly lying and manipulating the mortal population #but like. they can't not. because they're not 'gods' as is all-knowing all-powerful supposed-to-reward-the-good-punish-the-bad #i think because thats a kind of god referred to in stories that im disinterested in. its boring and also comes with so much baggage #im way more interested in 'gods' as in creators. and thats it. i made this planet but thats all i can do. i cant fix it #or i made this ocean. i cant stop you from drowning in it i can just make ocean #and i'd never thought of it in terms of the laws of physics but like YEAH ACTUALLY. gravity as a god. i pull things together #you NEED to fight it sometimes! it kills you and it keeps you alive and there's no morality to it!#im also interested in gods as like. alien consciousnesses. like if there was a guy out there and he gave you life but #if you looked at him he would blind you and if you touched him he'd vaporize you #like just take all the physics and reality of the sun and put it in a person-shape and give it a voice #like again theres no morality to the sun! but once we personify things like that we start putting morality and baggage on them!#anyway im rambling lmao i could go on for hours. i just loved the idea of Truth as god just like Gravity as god

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keeps-ache · 2 months ago

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lost vocation: fish

#just me hi #i am fresh from the shower helloooo world hfbsh #wanna go swimming again before it gets real cold.. i love you lake lol :)#reed doesn't like lakes and i kiinda get it; the depths and the unseen yeya #but there is also something comforting about being in something very large and very heavy. it's all the right pressure n i like it :>#pools are Not the same and simply cannot match up </3 also they're so hard to breath around so Lol #hot tubs have it out for me i dunno what i did but they are displeased about it #Okay i just remembered the heavy chlorine smell usually comes from a lot of urine in the pool so that's uh. hm #also i have nearly drowned in more pools than lakes so that too hghfshvk #for most of my life i was shorter than i am now. and pools give you that false sense of security like 'oh sure i can touch the bottom i'm #good :D' and then that's when it GETS ya. bfhsv #lakes are not lying to you though they Will get ya. but they're nice about it <3 #the only thing i really have a problem with in lakes aside from the obvious drowning risk is. The Creatures #fish have nibbled me more than i am happy with lmao :(#like if i had a nickel for every time it happened i would have more than 1 but i'm not really sure how many hfbvsh #the first time it happened was AWFUL it felt like someone Scratching their fingernails on me and HOUUUU #first time that happened i genuinely thought there was some funkin Thing gonna get me in the waters lmfsvhf <3 #i do like the dragonflies though even if they make my skin kinda itchy when they land :D they like to chill and i just float around instead #of doing anything so we're good friends lol :3 #//anywho i'm kinda tired; been sorta fixing my sleep schedule but i got like Turbo Anxiety for a couple days a lil while ago and it messed #that up a bit but i'm getting it back on track hgfhs >:3 #mysterious turbo anxiety comes in the middle of the night and whacks at unsuspecting victims.. honestly quite rude i think we can all agree #//okay wells i gotta go rn :) maybe i'll do somethin.. who knows!#poking myself with a stick ; we'll get something from this eventually hfshfv #toodles toodles !!

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medicinemane · 4 months ago

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Really really don't get why so many people seem to have this burning hatred for Ukraine where they'll just... bring them up randomly purely to drag them through the mud and it's like... ok... but... do you actually know a single thing about Ukraine or what's been happening there?

Do you for instance remember when a major dam was destroyed by russia causing massive ecological damage?

Like I'm dead serious here, can you tell me a single thing that's happened in Ukraine in the last 2 years? Can you in any way demonstrate any basic understanding of the situation?

Cause if not... why do you think you should have an opinion on it, especially if your opinion is gonna be how awful people getting bombed are?

Just legit bothers me and... even more so bothers me the number of smart and caring people I see doing this. Basically I'm not even trying to be rude here, I'm trying to remind you to pay attention and remember that not everything you read on the internet is true, a tumblr post isn't a source unless they're giving you a reputable source

Cause like me? I can go track you down articles about the Nova Kakhovka dam being destroyed, and I can talk about all the reason why it's pretty clear that russia destroyed it

Can you do the same for me? Can you back up your claim about Ukraine with something concrete?

In many ways I'm not even asking you to support Ukraine, I get we have a limit to how much we can focus on, it's ok if you focus on your cause and I focus on mine and... both of us giving our undivided attention, maybe we both make some small impact on the world

What I'm asking is you don't be an asshole for no reason. You don't need to throw Ukraine under the bus. Don't you think your cause stands up on it's own two feet?

And again I'm not Ukrainian, I don't know as well as someone there, though... I spare you a lot of the stuff that crosses my dash because I don't want to burn people out with horrible stuff, but please understand it's worse than you probably think

So no, not Ukrainian, but I'll tell you why I'm still worth listening to: I've followed this every day since the invasion began. I keep my ear to the ground. I do know a fair bit and again can back what I have to say up

Anyway, my plea is to just not be a dick to people for no reason. The correct number of bombed civilians is zero, that's my stance